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mudskip-muses · 12 days

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shout out to that one angry mudskipper anon you are forever an inside joke now <3

#i just.#they literally searched the wrong thing #and yelled at me because of my gay ass anime #fucking Iconic hsdfsa #ooc

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alluralater · 4 months

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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.

#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking #up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being #positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge #her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being #there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is #everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and #without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need #reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is #unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i #up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to #do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind #yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not #survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us #has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting #her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want #her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or #much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3

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alethiometry · 1 year

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for my own peace of mind i may need to stop reading r/yellowjackets jfc. in just a single post i have seen people theorize that

javi is still alive bc he found an underground hot spring / javi found civilization and saved the girls

jackie's dream actually happened bc she wouldn't have dreamed of the dead hunter

laura lee survived the plane exploding bc we never saw a body

#yellowjackets #i am BEGGING people to have some goddamn media literacy oh my god #javi never being found is the most satisfying narrative from a tragedy perspective imo #hunter guy was in jackies dream bc hes foreboding as hell and she KNEW in her last moments that she was dying #laura lee literally exploded on screen lol #like are we stupid. are we literally stupid.#also savior javi theory is so fucking dumb. doomcoming was like month 4 or 5 out of 19 #he would have needed to find civilization so fucking quick to still be alive. doesnt make sense that it would still have taken that long #to find everyone else. esp bc if search and rescue knew the area javi was found it would have significantly narrowed down the search radius #the only reason javi MIGHT still be alive AT THE TIME OF 2x01 is bc we need to continue establishing that lotties visions are believable #but i go back and forth on whether that matters bc the important thing is that she is charismatic and compassionate and inspires hope #which are a more solid groundwork for her development into a cult leader #in any case i dont think javi is going to be rescued #if im wrong ill happily eat a rabbit or whatever

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get-more-bald · 20 days

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the biggest thing about X6 is not that he doesn't think of himself as human (though he doesn't, and according to some it's correct) BUT that he doesn't see himself as a Person

#searching through the X6-88 tag on tumblr has not brought me joy #also. 1 thing about is that i hate hate hate the (i think) canon blue eyes he has. like. for fucking what #1st i saw them on tumblr and thought 'well thats stupid. whyd you give him blue eyes? so hed look special? thats weird. at least its uncanon #also. on god. i saw some post headcanoning the companions' appearances and it was p cool UNTIL they got to x6 #and they gave him grey 'almost white' eyes for literally no reason. like if you want to go with the scary factor theres so many ways for it #but no. some people think that blue/grey eyes are sooo special. and for what #<- i have brown eyes but im not just being salty. it really sucks. i dont wanna be the one to call fandom racism but it does smell like it!#also like. i didnt want to go on a stupid tirade about racism in the tags again but the way fandom treats x6 AND preston is just upsetting #other people have made some very good points about it and im not going to repeat them here (also noones gonna read this)#but like... theres 3 'main' black characters that i remember: preston garvey (whom the stron majority of the fandom hates/disliked)#x6-88 (basically the players slave? also hated for being mean and unfeeling (which is justified imo). no quest no freedom no nothing)#and gloria (who i havent met in game but ive heard some actual criticisms of (like. the way shes treated ingame) and noone else talks about)#if theres any other Named and Important characters. sorry but i literally do not remember them #coming back to x6 being justified in being unemotional/mean. he was literally raised this way. he doesnt consider himself to be a person #being he was made that way. he is a Thing and hes meant for one job and hes made to inspire fear #and hes not supposed to have emotions so he just. doesnt. if he does he cant express them anyways #1 if fallout4 was a better written game (or 2 if x6 was white) i think thered be SO much fanfiction about him. the possibilities are endless #i have something brewing in the back of my head. i might start writing even though i suck and its going to be bad #ANYWAYS. general fandom thought on x6 are WRONG and im being a HATER. fuck everyone who doesn't like x6. if you dont like x6 get off tumblr #especially if you like gage but not x6. leave fr #i just woke up wtf am i doingggg

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enter-drfrog · 11 months

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What if I say that watching Mischief Theatre is the only thing holding my life together right now? What then?

#i literally have not stopped drowning myself in whatever content i can find #i mean most of the stuff im finding is from youtube which is pretty limited #but we’re making it work #im also trying to slowly make my way through content because i don’t want to run out of things #i mean i’ll hapoily rewatch the same things over and over again but im trying to spread the stuff i haven’t seen #like i’m crawling through mmni because i don’t want to run out of episodes #but once i finish that i’ll probably try to forage for the stuff i haven’t seen #so i’ll begin my search for tcaabr content and magic goes wrong content #i definitely need to find mgw content because im desperately trying to see mind mangler when it comes to broadway #anyways mischief is single-handedly holding my life together right now #mischief theatre #mischief comedy

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medicinemane · 1 month

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It's amazing how quickly you can make someone turn on your company by making a stupid and insulting move

Force me to go through the front door and scan my card when I have backdoor business that never needed a card before (what? ...I was going to somehow... sneak in and... purchase things with a borrowed card? ...which I totally can't do from the front door after scanning it?)

Or like... twitterify your layout right after your users give you a bunch of money just cause they like you, and then refuse to walk it back

...or all the other things companies do that just kinda piss people off and then they refuse to acknowledge maybe it sucks and is stupid cause "hey, the customers didn't leave"... yeah... yet

#legit; as small as it is it gives me a hint at the direction things will head and that costco will get more and more anti consumer #and I'm in minutes going from an 'I love costco; it's how I afford to eat; go get a cheap pizza'#to 'you know costco is kinda frustrating and annoying and I don't trust their ceo... I'm not sure if it's worth your time and money'#like look back and; tumblr search willing; you'll find posts of me singing costco's praises; literal free advertising #cause while it's not right for everyone; man is it so much cheaper than places like walmart #but... I legit don't know if I can recommend it anymore #for one thing; when I signed up I just spotted the members desk; walked in the backdoor up to the desk; and gave them money #now... what? you gotta ask permission? I feel like there's a chilling effect on wanting to join... at least for my socially anxious ass #and again; I just whiff this as like when games companies add DRM that breaks the game... for people who actually pay for it #they're making me suffer a pain in the ass for no reason cause someone might not be giving them money #and now that person never will give them money... and frankly... if they don't pay the membership but spend $500 how much did you lose?#but like I said; I feel it in the air; that costco will start doing more and more anti consumer stuff #...do I think it's a good idea to join up when they're gonna slowly start turning this corner?#I mentioned that quote by the founder about killing them if they raise the price of the hotdog #but... the fact the founder felt the need to say that to begin with told me something #kinda gotten the impression that the ceo is greedy as hell and wants to drain the consumer (so... a normal ceo)#and this just smacks of netflix/disney #oh... did you hear about disney killing someone with a food allergy despite being told about it multiple times like when the dish arrived?#and now disney is trying to forced arbitrate cause they had a disney+ trial in 2019 #you hear about that one? cause that's a real news story; I'll find you an article if you don't believe it #anyway; this smacks of cracking down on password sharing to make up for hypothetical lost revenue #and let me tell you... if I could switch to pirating my groceries I would; I would download eggs #so this doesn't change costco fundamentally; but it does make it feel more hostile and like it doesn't trust me #it makes things feel more adversarial instead of like a partnership where they get me good prices on good things and I give money #and I just wouldn't be surprised if they start doing more things I don't like #things that make things worse... things like raising prices to increase their profit #...makes me want to... work on figuring out how to make everything myself since no company is trustworthy #they'll all turn on you in the end; the moment the wrong person takes charge they'll start to metastasis #towards the cancer of infinite profits #not saying don't go to costco... I'm saying don't get attached if you do; I think they're ready to do what every company does these days

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nat-20s · 1 year

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Logically I know that you shouldn't do creative work (such as a podcast) in order to become a peer with other creatives but also like oooooo there are so many creatives I'd love to actually interact with oooo I'd love to collab on something OOOOO I would love to have a voice actor that I know from another podcast in my own podcast

#me looking at however the fuck hero and dom became friends and have that whole fun thing going on: god i wish that were me #google search do think one of the two genre fiction podcasts i wanna make someday would bring in hero #do you think it would pspspsps at them #i mean one of them is uh. from what i hear similar in premise to malevolent #which is a: unfortunate for me bc i had the idea long before that podcast but i now worry it will come across as an imitation #and b: also unfortunate bc it means i cant listen to malevolent specifically so it doesnt seem like im trying to do a redux #:(#what is so wrong with wanting to write and voice and a podcast about dealing with your (literal) inner demon #anyway huh these tags have gotten long #tldr i need to WRITE babey i just have to uhh. clean my room and get down to like ten library checkouts and then i do think #i can write again

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soft-serve-soymilk · 3 months

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I feel the problem with texts like The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, Sunset Boulevard, and The Memory Police is that my analysis feels too off-the-wall compared to what they want us to regurgitate ._.

#Like... did nobody catch on the abusive household environment Christopher was in during CIDNT? HIS DAD LITERALLY PUNCHED HIM #Though perhaps I was uniquely advantaged in analysing that text because everyone else was thrown off by the autistic protagonist #meanwhile me... who is all too damn aware.......#it didn't distract me from the real meat of the novel at all. I just went 'oh so this is your flavour of 'tism' and looked for the real #substance hidden between the lines~#In SB nobody seems to talk about Norma's cluster b disordered personality as being a product of her environment #or her seeming overreliance on horoscopes and outside opinion because having her life dictated by others prevents her from focussing on the #painful truth of her situation #And now the novel i'm currently doing which already seems to be versed in the imperfections of japanese culture #i had a thought connecting the idea of 'the new cavities in my heart search for things to burn'#and the book-burning later in the novel which stirs up the protagonists memory of things it shouldn't-- birds for one #consistently when things are destroyed in this novel it creates some emotional response in the townspeople #and that's the reason they hunger for destruction? It breaks their emotional numbness? They're trying to fill their heart's holes.#Fire is antithetical to snow too; the persistent winter is explicitly a symbol for the persistent nothingness that the island is becoming #Hhhhh i know it's all vague conjecture atm but i know the teachers are gonna hate it :/#i feel like the one thing english as a class has taught me is that any expression of my written creativity is wrong ^^;

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le-guin · 5 months

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hmmm. i think that. even if i get thru this current stress at work i've decided this job isn't worth it anymore. time to start looking for something else

#personal post #it's not that i WANT to do the job search thing. i really don't #but my god this is unsustainable #i can't go more than a couple weeks without SOMETHING going wrong that causes me so much stress and anxiety #i literally cease to function #i can't keep doing this! 👍 the pay just isn't worth it anymore! 👍#plus it feels like this job is causing my body to fall apart 👍 and i'm never happy anymore 👍

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sincetheducksleft · 3 months

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I want to know when I'll get sick of the sopranos theme song because I'm on episode 29 and I'm still jamming

#the sopranos #GOT YOURSELF A GUNNNN #seriously the perfect song for this show though!!#things aint been the same since the blues walked in this town #your papa never told you about right and wrong #born under a bad sign with a blue moon in your eye 🎶🎶🎶#and it's literally a show about mobsters with depression and intergenerational dysfunction #who constantly search for omens and signs to explain their feelings of existential dread and ill fate

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budugaapologist · 10 months

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tbh liking hien on tumblr feels like liking edward again :/

#i talk #will literally have a blog themed after the guy and see 1 post of him a week. okay #tumblr just recommending me emet selch and estinien. i do not care.#i also dont like searching through tags because of heavensward fuckers that make everything worse #'this exp didnt have yaoi elves in it' dude the buduga are explicitly gay. also shut up #also also then youll have ppl complaining about yotsuyu dying like girl. she comitted genocide lmao #yeah bad things happened to her but like? same? girl u are in your thirties please just talk to somebody #'hes the king how is it not his place to judge' you cannot decide what is worse. genocide or human trafficking.#they were under imperial rule. there were few ways to survive in morally good ways. hien is not condoning the action #also everyone that looks at yotsuyu and is genuinely like well shes hot she can do no wrong #Missed The Point also i dont think she'd like you in the first place.#anyway.#tumblr show me stuff i actually wanna see challenge

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