#they ignore everything that went into her betrayal and death

[ohumokay]

Super Long Silena Beauregard/Luke Castellan Rant

Okay, so we all have our options on Luke's groomer/pedo personality (due to what he said to Annabeth), but the clearest evidence (for me, at least) is when Luke manipulated Silena's crush on him.

[definition of grooming according to the NSPCC website: "Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them."]

Firstly, background info: In TLO, Silena confesses that, before dating Charlie, she had a crush on Luke. She found him charming and good-looking, all factors that are no doubt credible to Hermes being his father. Luke manipulated this crush to get her to spy on CHB for him. After she started dating Charlie, Luke couldn't use the crush anymore, so he changed tactics; assuring what they were doing was for a good cause. He then threatened to hurt her boyfriend and tell people that she was a traitor.

Next, ages: In TLO, Silena is 18 and Luke is 23, and it's confirmed that her and Charlie were dating for a bit over a year, since Silena was 17 and Luke was 22. So, with an educated guess, Luke preyed on Silena's crush when she was 16 or younger, most likely right before he left CHB. When he left CHB, he was 19 and Silena was 14.

Luke, at the GROWN age of 19 (more likely than not) used the crush a 14 YEAR OLD CHILD had on him to convince her to be a spy. Then, at the GROWN age of 22, threatened the 17 YEAR OLD CHILD and her boyfriend to stay a spy for him.

That is horrific. If he had just claimed to be fighting for a good cause to manipulate her, it might not have been so disgusted. That was his belief and he's entitled to that. But the fact that a grown ass-man knowingly used a child's crush on him to his advantage is grooming and underlining pedo-ish.

Now to the more Silena-based portion of this rant:

I'd like to state that everyone has a right to their own opinions, I respect it. That being said, I cant respect people who argue that Silena was a awful person because she was a traitor.

I can understand people not thinking of her as a hero (since I'm sorta those people), but to say she was an awful person for such a complex reason really irks me. Their only argument is that she's a traitor (or, at least all of the dozens that I've seen) and that's crap, because there was so much more to her betraying CHB.

As stated above, her romantic feeling was manipulated at such a younger and impressionable age. She was told that what she was doing was good. She had her own problems with the Olympians as most demigods did. It wasn't until she got with Charlie that she realized the extent and harm Luke was doing, but then her security and her boyfriend's safety was threatened. So what was a 17 year old who spent the past 3 years trusting this very person do? She listens. Because she knows what he's capable of, unfortunately .

After Charlie's death, though, is when she learned that it didn't matter how obedient she was. So, since she was no longer trying to spare Charlie's life, she decide to go down fighting against Luke.

I, in no way, think of Silena being a hero through and through. I think she was a traitor (not really by choice). I believe she live as a traitor, but I also believe she died heroically.

She lived as a spy for the titan army, but died leading the missing and probably most important piece of the demigod army.

She lived deceiving to her loved ones, but died changing the tides of the Second Titan War in the demigod's favor.

She lived morally bad, but died tragically beautiful.

Silena Beauregard, the daughter of Aphrodite, died as a hero.

[featherstorm2004]

I understand why people think the Jayce and Viktor breakup was rushed because well, it was but I do think people are ignoring why Viktor chose to leave.

It's been repeatedly shown in season 1 that Jayce had, and still has a nasty habit of ignoring what Viktor wants for what he believes to be best. And this has been shown to be a large strain on their relationship, which got much worse when Jayce became a chairmen and Viktor got sick. After all, despite Viktor's warnings Jayce chose to turn Hextech into weapons, which backfired. Then Viktor warned Jayce about treating the people of Zaun like monsters, but Jayce ignored that which ended in him murdering a child whose mother went to claim her revenge in a terrorist act.

And the straw that broke the camels back was after everything, Viktor still confided in Jayce about Sky's death and made him promise to destroy the Hexcore. Which Jayce didn't do instead fusing it into Viktor, which must have felt like the ultimate betrayal. I'm not saying that I don't understand why Jayce did it, I probably would've done the same thing. But the end result to Viktor was another showing of Jayce ignoring his wishes for what he wants so, I completely understand why he left.

But I do wish Arcane had taken a little more time to show that, but episode constraints and all that.

[imtryingbuck]

Welcome To The Gang

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: mechanic!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n leaves her hometown after her heart is broken by betrayal, she has no destination in sight but when she meets a brunette she finally finds happiness.

Word count: 5,853

Warnings: angst. past cheating (ex and sister). swearing. fluff.

Masterlist

“Mom what am I going to do?”

“You need to tell her, it will break her heart but she needs to know.”

Y/n stood behind the living room wall pressing her hand to her mouth in hopes her mom and sister couldn’t hear her muffled sobs. She had just heard that her boyfriend of five years had been cheating on her with her very own sister for the past four months. Betrayed by the two people who she loved more than anything in the world other than her parents.

“She won’t want to talk to me anymore” She felt sick to her stomach at hearing her sisters voice laced in distress. Not once since she confessed has she once said she regretted it or that it meant nothing, no it was all about her.

“Do you blame her? You’ve been fucking her boyfriend.”

“I know mom!”

“And now you’re pregnant by your sisters boyfriend, don’t you dare try and act like a victim.”

Her heart broke even more. Her sister knew full well that they had been trying to get pregnant for the past two years and yet here she is, pregnant with her own sisters boyfriends baby. Before her sister could speak Y/n stepped around the wall, both mom and daughter gasping at seeing her, seeing the tears they knew she had heard everything.

“Why? Why would you do this to me? Doing it to your best friend wasn’t enough?”

“Y/n!” her mom scolded. “You know that she regretted doing that.”

“But it didn’t stop her from sleeping with her best friends husband when she was grieving her mom’s death, did it now? Oh and then carried on once her best friend found out and divorced his sorry arse.” Looking at her older sister, the one person she looked up to since they were children. “Can’t you find your own boyfriend that you have to fuck everyone else’s?”

“I-I’m sorry, p-please don’t be mad”

“You two deserve each other. I hope you both have the worst life-“

“Y/n please don’t talk to your sister like that!”

“Sister?” she let out a low chuckle with a shake of her head. “I have no sister.”

Walking out of her parents’ house, the very same one she grew up in, she got in her car ignoring her mom and sister begging her to stay and that everything will be okay, and drove back to her apartment that she shared with her now ex-boyfriend. Thankfully he wasn’t there which meant leaving with her things would be easier. Not an hour later her car was packed full with her things, with one last look at the place she had been calling home for three years a stray tear dropped from her eyes, a shudder rolled down her spine at the thought of her own sister and her now ex fucking each other in the apartment. Closing the door she locked it and slid the key through the letter box and got into her car, with no destination in sight she drove away.

“No no no NO! God damnit!” Smacking the steering wheel harshly then wincing at the pain shooting through her hands, she managed to get the car to pull up to the side of the road. In the middle of nowhere. “Great. Just great.”

Stranded in the middle of nowhere, no signs of life other than a few birds flying around in the air, she began crying. This wasn’t how her life was supposed to go like. It was meant to be her carrying her boyfriends’ child, not her sister. She was meant to be at home probably curled up on the couch with her cheating scumbag of a boyfriend watching some crappy show on the tv. But no, she’s currently in the middle of nowhere with a broken down car and no cell service whilst her sister is probably curled up on the couch with the cheating scumbag she happily opened her legs for.

It wasn’t fair.

An hour passed and not even a single car went pass. Then another hour went by, this time she kept her mind occupied by kicking the crap out of her car. The next hour that slowly trickled by Y/n walked around her car over and over again, then across the street and back again, even having a race with a snail in which she won against. Finding a stone she practiced her football skills, then she lost the stone. And then she began kicking her car again but this time imagining her sister and boyfriends faces - her car now sporting a huge dent.

The sun began going down being quickly replaced by the crescent moon, climbing on top of her car with her legs dangling against the door she laid back staring up at the sky. It couldn’t have been long when she heard a noise that she had never been more grateful to hear.

“Yes! Oh thank fuck!” she waved her arms in the air in hopes that the driver would stop and not ignore her, whilst also hoping that the driver wasn’t some crazed maniac.

“Oh thank you, thank you!” jumping off the car she went up to the truck as it pulled to a stop. “Hi, c-can you help me?”

“Of course we can help. My names Wanda and this is Vis, what’s yours?”

“Thank you, I’m Y/n. My car broke down and I have no cell service.”

“Oh, well we can actually help you with that” Wanda got out of the truck whilst Vis pulled the truck in front of her car. “He works at the garage not that far from here.”

“Really? You two are life savers”

“Yeah it’s half an hour away… wait, how long have you been out here for?”

“Half an hour?” Wanda nodded with a soft smile on her plumb lips. “Oh my God.” Y/n cried out. “I’ve been out here for like four hours!” Wanda’s eyes went wide, her lips pressing together tightly in a straight line. “You can laugh.”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh along with the green eyed woman, she felt so stupid for not thinking about wondering off to find help instead of staying by her car. “You’re not from around here are you?”

“Leave me alone” she giggled.

“I’m sorry!”

“Is that why you are laughing?”

“… No”

Vis informs the two women that everything was set up and ready to go, in the truck with two strangers that seemed really nice Wanda asked her about herself which she answered carefully and selectively, Wanda told her that she and Vis were married and then told her about the people she would most likely meet at the garage. Vis chimed in telling her that one of them called Bucky would most likely be standoffish with her but it was just who he was.

“Bucky?”

“Yeah, his middle name is Buchanan so he goes by Bucky.” Wanda informs.

Not even half an hour later they pulled up to the garage named The Avengers Garage. Wanda and Y/n got out so that Vis could pull the truck and car inside. “Come on, let me introduce you to the gang.”

Gaining the attention of the people that was sat/stood around, the first person to greet her was a beautiful red head named Natasha, then a very happy Sam introduced himself – going straight in for a hug. Then Clint – Wanda informed her that he and Nat were dating, then she was introduced to Steve. Everyone was so nice and warm to her, they were probably like that to everyone but that didn’t matter to her.

“This car is completely fucked.” She heard a deep yet soft voice come from behind her car. “Steve I’m going… h-hi.” He started then cut himself off when he laid eyes on her.

“Hi” she smiled at the gorgeous man in front of her.

The group all watched silently with amused looks on their faces as they watch Bucky standing there with a tint of red hue on his cheeks, a sweet smile on his lips and this woman that they had only just met doing the same thing.

“Bucky this is Y/n, Y/n this is Bucky” Wanda’s soft voice snapped them both out of their trances.

“Hi” they both repeated, the groups eyes rolling in unison.

“So Buck, what’s wrong with the car?” Steve then asked snapping them both out of their love sickening eye contact again.

Bucky's eyes find Steve’s and begins explaining the problems with the car, to Y/n it sounded like he was talking mumbo jumbo – having never paid any attention to what her dad would tell her when he tried showing her the ins and outs of a car. “And there’s a big dent in the side”

“Yeah… about that, uhm… that was me, I kind of kicked the damn thing.”

“Why?” Bucky chuckled. Everyone beside Y/n looking shocked at hearing the sound coming from him. It had been so long since any of them had heard anything other than a grumble fall from his lips.

“I was angry.” She shrugged with a small smile.

“Fair enough.” He chuckled once again. “I’ll be able to get the dents out.”

“H-How much would it all come to?” When Bucky tells her the amount he noticed the grimace flash across her face, asking him about the price without the dents being taken out – hating the way she stutters, and the way her cheeks heated up with embarrassment. “C-Can you just leave the dents? I’ll get it fixed at a later date”

“Of course” Bucky smiles in understanding. “It will take about two days to fix”

“O-Oh okay, thank you.”

Steve rolls his eyes at once again the love struck look in Bucky’s eyes, clapping his best friends shoulder motioning towards her car Bucky smiles once more at Y/n before following Steve. Once it was just Wanda and Y/n after Nat and Clint left to go and get some food and Vis doing something in the back Y/n asked Wanda where the nearest motel was.

“It’s not that far from here, it’s a bit rundown though.”

“That’s fine, I need a place to sleep until my car is fixed and then I can be on my way again.”

“I can take you there if you want?”

“I would really like that, thank you so much.”

“It’s no problem. I’m just going to get the keys from Vis.” Leaving her on her own, Y/n went to her car to get a few things from the back, apologising to the two men as she interrupted their conversation.

Thanking Wanda once again for everything that she had done for her, she walked up to the room that she had paid for. It was small and had a weird odour lingering in the air but it didn’t bother her, much. Climbing into the uncomfortable bed after changing into something comfy and doing her night routine, she fell asleep with the image of a certain brunette with piercing blue eyes.

Bucky just wanted to go home to Alpine – his precious white ball of fluff that he had found abounded on the side of the road when she was only six weeks old. He’d probably order some pizza and sit to watch some crappy show on the tv whilst having his little baby curled up next to him eating her treats. But no here he was still at work being told a new car was just brought in.

It wasn’t fair.

“This car is completely fucked.” He mumbled. “Steve I’m going… h-hi.” He started but finding himself cutting his words off when he laid eyes on her.

The most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.

“Hi” her smile was just as gorgeous as the rest of her face and her voice.

He knew that the group was all watching as his cheeks heated up, and he knew for a fact that they were going to tease him later for it.

“Bucky this is Y/n, Y/n this is Bucky” Wanda’s voice snapped them both out of their trances.

“Hi” they both repeated, the groups eyes rolling in unison.

“So Buck, what’s wrong with the car?” Steve asked him making him reluctantly pull his eyes away from her.

He couldn’t help the chuckle leave his lips when she explained that the huge dents in the side of her car was due to her kicking it, god he loved her smile. He didn’t judge her for wanting the dents to be left in, seeing all the things in the car it looked to him like she had just upped and left wherever it was she came from, and he understood that money was probably tight, hell they had all been in that position before so therefore none of them was going to judge her.

The second Steve got him away from Y/n he just stood there and smirked. “What?”

“Nothing. Okay well there is something.”

“And that is?”

“’Hi I’m Bucky and I’m so in love with you Y/n, please marry me and have my babies’” Steve mocked before letting out a surprised yelp and ducking just in time as the tool that Bucky throws at him, hit him.

“You’re not funny.”

“What do you mean? I’m hilarious.” The dirt blond gasped dramatically. “What was all that back there?”

“What do you mean? I was just being polite to a customer”

“That’s the thing Buck, you’re never polite to customers.”

“Yes I am!”

“Liar. Okay, can I ask you another question?”

“You’re going to ask anyway”

“When is the wedding?” Steve chuckled then let out a pained groan as Bucky throws something at him, hitting him in his stomach. “You can’t keep throwing things at me!”

“I can if you keep being a dick. Now shut up and help me.”

“I thought she said to leave the dents?”

“I know but I can’t just leave them.” Bucky shrugs. “And don’t say anything!”

Both worked tirelessly until it got too late and fatigue and hunger started to set in. Since Steve lived across the road from Bucky they always drove to work together, Steve pulled up to his drive, saying his goodbyes to his best friend – not before he tormented him about his new girlfriend Y/n.

“She is not my girlfriend!” the brunette practically growled as he stomped over to his house. Instantly being greeted by Alpine, Bucky stood there imagining Y/n sitting on his couch in his shirt with a smile on her face, opening her arms for him to crawl into and complain about his day, running her fingers through his hair-

Alpine’s meow snapped him out of his thoughts, shaking his head. “She is not my girlfriend.”

“Please be Y/n’s room” Y/n heard a soft voice come from behind her door, just before a knock came.

“Hi Wanda” she smiled at the woman as she opened the door.

“Oh thank god! I’ve been knocking on all the doors to find your room”

Chuckling, she offered for her to come inside. “How are you?”

“I’m okay, how are you?”

“I’m good. How come you’re here? Is my car fixed already?”

“Well I came to see if you wanted to hang out? I could show you around town? And for your car, it isn’t done yet but I know Bucky's been working on it since seven this morning”

Seeing the hopeful look in her eyes, Y/n couldn’t find it in herself to say no so with a smile and a nod she grabbed her jacket and put her shoes on, making sure she grabbed her bag she locked the door and slid the key into her pocket. Wanda linked her arm with hers as they made their way down to Wanda’s car.

The town was small and it seemed like everyone knew everyone and knew that Y/n wasn’t from around there, they made it obvious by staring at her. Wanda showed her all the places her and the gang – as she kept calling them – had grown up, hung out and even showed her the alleyways that Steve use to get beat up in.

“Steve? The blond one, right?”

“Yep, he wasn’t always that big and muscly, Bucky would always find him and fight the bullies.”

Then Wanda showed her their former principles house that they covered in toilet roll. “Why would you do that?” Y/n chuckled.

“Sam dared Steve to do it, Steve passed the dare on to Clint who passed it to Nat who then passed it on to Bucky, and Bucky passed said dare back to Sam. Anyway, we all then agreed to do it so… we did”

“A dare?”

“Yeah, but to be fair we were drunk.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Yeah it was only last year that we did it.” Wanda says. Y/n sat in the passenger seat looking at the woman waiting for her to say that she was joking. “I’m not joking either, we didn’t exactly grow up after leaving school.”

Half an hour later Wanda pulled up to a cute café that was on Main Street, promising her that they did the best hot chocolate in the world. Which she wasn’t wrong about.

“So” Wanda started, leaving the whipped cream moustache she was now sporting. “Where are you going?”

“Sorry?”

“Your car was packed full of things so I assume you’re going somewhere?”

“Oh, oh I uhm… I left my hometown. And now I’m trying to find somewhere else to call home”

“How come?”

“M-My boyfriend, ex-boyfriend cheated on me”

“The bastard! I hate him!”

“You don’t know him” Y/n laughed.

“I know I don’t but I hate him for hurting you like that, do you know who the bitch was? I’ll fight her if you want me too?”

Shaking her head. “It was with my sister, and no I don’t want you to fight her.”

“Your sister? Like half-sister?” Y/n shakes her head. “No? Step?” another head shake. “Jesus Y/n! That bitch! I hate her too!”

“She’s also pregnant with his baby” she smiled sadly at Wanda.

“Oh Y/n I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay I guess, it just hurts you know? I always wanted to have children with him but it wasn’t meant to be.”

“The way I see it is that she did you a favour, I know it hurts. My ex cheated on me but honestly it was the biggest blessing because Vis then gained the courage to tell me he was in love with me.”

“And you’ve been together ever since?”

“Yeah” Wanda smiled at her. “We dated for like six months before he proposed to me and then we got married on our one year anniversary, everyone kept telling us that we were mad and marrying to soon, aside from the gang they were the only ones who were supportive, but anyway here we are, four years into marriage and happier than ever.”

“I love that.” Wanda smiled, taking a gulp of her drink as they both settled into comfortable silence.

That was until a brilliant idea came to Wanda’s head. “Fuck Y/n! You should move here! The house down the street from mine is for sale, and it’s nice, me and Vis had a look around just because we wanted to see how different their house was to ours but anyway it’s for sale and it’s cute and most importantly it’s only down the road from me” she rambled with a huge smile on her face.

“I-I don’t know, I don’t exactly have a lot of money and with my car, you know?”

“I know someone is looking for a receptionist, I can get you a job there?”

“Who?”

“Me! I own a tattoo shop with Nat, and it’s just us two and Clint that works there and we really need a receptionist to take calls and all that shit”

“You’re really offering a stranger a job?”

“Well yeah, if you think about it every person I would have to interview is a stranger…”

“You got me there.”

“Do you know how to answer a phone?”

“Of course I do”

“Do you know how to use a pen? And how to write?”

“Yes, to both questions.”

“Well congratulations Y/n, you’ve got the job” Wanda beamed before she asked Mary for two more hot chocolates.

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not”

“As serious as a heart attack. When can you start?”

“Wanda, dead serious?”

“Dead, dead, dead serious! So when can you?”

“Straight away! Thank you Wanda, thank you”

“We’re friends so you don’t need to thank me. Now we just need to think of a place for you to live.”

“I can just stay in the motel until I’ve saved enough money” she shrugs.

“Leave it with me, I’ll think of something better.”

After discussing more about what the job will entail and her wages Wanda dragged Y/n out of the café, she explained that Nat’s sister was the owner so therefore they never had to pay for their things. Dropping Y/n off at the motel with the promise that she would come back later, Wanda headed straight for the garage.

Bucky was in the backroom looking for the part he needed to fix Y/n’s car when he heard Wanda loudly ask where he was, grabbing what he needed he went out to where Wanda was. “What’s up?”

“You said you wanted a roommate, right?”

“That was ages ago?”

“Yeah and? Do you still want one or not?”

“I mean I wouldn’t be against it, just as long as they don’t hurt Alpine, why?”

Wanda grabs a hold of Sam’s arm and began jumping up and down, with a huge smile on her face. “I think I’ve found you a roommate!”

“Yeah? Who?”

“Y/n” Bucky’s face dropped. “I’ve given her a job at the shop and now I’m trying to find her a place to live and not her staying at that crappy motel like she wants.”

“I-no. Thanks Wanda but no”

“Why not?” she frowned.

“Because he’s in love with her” Steve laughed as he spun in circles on his chair.

“No I’m not!”

“She’s single.”

“Is she?” Steve and Sam burst out laughing at hearing the excited tone of his words. “She can’t live with me Wands, I don’t know her.”

“Her name is Y/n, she’s single, she’s really nice, what more do you want to know about her?”

“Oh wow, it’s like I’ve known her my whole entire life!”

“Exactly!”

“Wands, he’s being sarcastic.” Sam informed her, Steve nodding to confirm it. She had never really been able to pick up on sarcasm.

“Oh… right well I guess I have to find her somewhere else. Bye guys.”

Bucky instantly felt bad for his best friend, hating the way her whole behaviour changed along with her voice, handing over the items over to Steve he ran after Wanda. “I’m sorry Wands, I know you’re trying to help her and I didn’t mean to be sarcastic.”

“It’s okay. It’s just- I don’t know I just want to help her and she seems so nice and she’s been hurt and I don’t like that.”

“Who hurt her?”

“It’s not my place to say Buck”

“I understand. Hey why don’t you take me to her and I can ask her if she wants to move in with me?”

“Yes! I promise Bucky she won’t murder you in your sleep. Well… I hope she doesn’t.” Bucky chuckles at her words, getting into the car with her, she takes off.

Standing outside Y/n’s motel door they both looked at each other worriedly as they heard Y/n arguing with someone, who they assumed was on the phone as they couldn’t hear anyone else’s voice. Bucky gave her a questioning look when they heard her say about her own sister betraying her, he soon understood what she meant when Y/n shouted what she had told Wanda earlier that day.

“I’ve already told you mom that I don’t want anything to do with her, or that child. And as for her wanting my blessing to date him she didn’t ask me if she could fuck him when she was- no I don’t care- she isn’t my sister- they both can rot in hell for all I care, no, no you don’t get to interrupt me anymore, you want to stand by her then do it but don’t expect me to come back and ever forgive her. I’m done.” They flinch when they hear a bang against the door, Wanda instantly knocking on the door.

“Y/n, it’s Wanda!”

Hearing the locks unlock Wanda rushed straight in with Bucky following his brunette best friend who had the heart of gold, watching as she wrapped her arms around Y/n’s shaking form. He noticed a phone on the floor, the screen lighting up with ‘Mom’ on the call screen, he also noticed her phone screen cracked.

“I’m okay. I just got angry.”

“What happened?”

“My mom rang, she wants my blessing to date him.” She scoffs, leaning into Wanda’s hand as she wipes the fallen tears. “Oh, hi Bucky.”

“Hi.” Looking around the small room Bucky picks up her phone and declines the call from her mom, again. “Come on, lets’ get you packed up.”

“What?”

“Wait, do you like cats? She’s a complete softy.”

“I-I do, but what is happening?”

“Wanda said you need a place to live, I’ve got a house with two spare bedrooms so… you can live with me.”

“I feel like you two are pranking me.”

“Nope, come on.”

Not even ten minutes later was he sitting back in the car but this time with Y/n sitting in the back, and then twenty minutes later Wanda was pulling up outside his home. Alpine ran straight for Bucky, and then Wanda before sniffing Y/n’s leg, a happy purr was heard from the ball of fluff. As the women were distracted by his precious baby, he was looking around making sure his house was clean, thankfully the only mess around was Alpine’s toys laying around. Giving her a tour of the house, he showed her the room she would be taking, Bucky told them he needed to go back to work.

“Oh Y/n, welcome home.” He smiled warmly at her.

It had been six months to the day since Wanda and Vis found Y/n on the side of the road, she had become great friends with the gang - all welcoming her with open arms. Working at the tattoo shop that Nat and Wanda owned had been great fun, Nat had even showed her how to tattoo… which wasn’t so fun. The two women comforted her when she was tagged in an instagram post that her sister had put up announcing she was having a girl, both of them even commenting on the post – Nat’s comment was ‘really classy having a baby with your own sisters ex’, Wanda’s was ‘imagine sleeping with your own sisters boyfriend and getting knocked up by him and then tagging her in this photo.’ Both comments got way more likes then the actual post did. Her mom rang her telling her to tell them to delete the comments, Y/n laughed and put the phone down on her and finally blocked her parents, sister and ex’s numbers.

At first she thought she was overstepping by living with him but he kept waving her worries off. “I like having someone else to talk to.” He told her once. There was a few awkward moments they both shared since living together such as walking in on each other in the shower, or bath, or the time that Bucky had a woman over and the woman walked into Y/n’s room thinking it was the bathroom, the woman instantly hurling insults at the brunette accusing him of cheating, by the time either one of them got a chance to speak the woman was already on her way out of the house.

“I’m so sorry Bucky.”

“Why? I’ve never seen a woman move so fast before.” He burst out laughing, prompting her to join in.

But overall it had been great, the two learnt so much about the other, whenever they had a bad day at work the other would lend a sympathetic ear, they had grown close which terrified the both of them due to having been hurt in the past. She had found out that his ex-girlfriend had cheated on him after he had his accident which left him with his arm being amputated, he had only told her about this after she saw the scars he tried so hard to keep hidden from her.

“Are you coming tonight?” Bucky asked her as he came into the kitchen.

“Wanda’s asked me to and Nat said if I don’t she’ll beat me up.”

“Well you can’t come.”

“Why can’t I?”

“Because only cool people are invited.”

“So why are you going?”

Gasping dramatically he squinted his eyes at her, he grabs his phone off the side. A few seconds later her phone pings.

Bucky: u r so rude.

“Really? Why did you just text me?”

Bucky: cus I’m no longer talking to u.

“Well technically you’re still talking to me.”

Bucky: from now on I’m not talking to u.

“You are so dramatic, isn’t he Alp, yes he is” she cooed at the fluff ball as she jumped onto Y/n’s lap.

Bucky: don’t bring our daughter into this!

Bucky: my daughter.

Bucky: don’t look at me like that!

Bucky: I meant MY daughter!

“But that isn’t what you said Jamie. It looks like OUR daughter loves me.” She taunted him, giggling at his death stare.

Bucky: fine.

Bucky: you gave birth to a cat.

“She got her hairiness from you.”

“No she didn’t!”

“I thought you wasn’t going to speak to me?”

“I- shut up and go and get dressed.” She let out loud laugh at his failed attempts at defending himself, even as she made her way to her room she couldn’t stop laughing. Bucky didn’t care that he had a huge smile on his face at hearing his favourite sound.

Bucky drove the two of them to the garage, it was relatively quiet aside from the radio quietly playing 80’s rock in the background. He couldn’t help but take small glances at her from the corner of his eye, her perfume was intoxicating as the smell filled his truck and his nostrils.

Tonight the gang was having a BBQ at the garage for some reason unknown to Y/n, she did ask Bucky why it wasn’t being held at one of their houses but he just shrugged his shoulders. Wanda instantly pulling her into a hug and handing her a nice cold beer. “How are you?”

“I’m good, though Bucky no longer speaks to me.”

“What! Why?”

“Because our daughter loves me more.”

“Wait… what?”

“She’s my daughter!” Bucky shouts from the boot of the car.

“Nope, you said ours so therefore I’m her mother.” Wanda watches the scene with a confused yet amused expression on her face.

Before long their bellies were warm, their laughter filling the air as they retold stories of their childhood, Bucky’s arm was wrapped around Y/n’s shoulder as her hand was on his thigh – if anyone saw them they would think they are a couple, especially with the way Bucky stared at her when her attention was elsewhere. She didn’t see them all share a look between them all, because when Bucky stood she nearly fell.

“The time is nigh, let us begin the ceremony.” Wanda says in an ominous voice. The hair on the back of Y/n’s neck stand up.

“Please stand Y/n L/n.” Steve then spoke.

Staring wide eyed with a hint of fear and panic behind them, she stood up on wobbly legs. “W-What’s going on?”

“You’ll find out in due time.” Bucky said from the side of her.

Wanda told Bucky and Steve to take her hands and to follow her. They led her further away from the garage and towards an old railway track that hadn’t been used in nearly fifty years, as Wanda had told her before, the panic began to rise more and more with each passing step. Her new friends were crazy and are going to murder her.

“We are gathered here on a dark night.” Nat started.

“We have an offer.” Sam went next.

Bucky and Steve let go of her hands and stood by the rest, once Wanda said ‘now’ they got down on their knees. “Will you be our friend?” Steve asked.

“Join our gang.” Wanda spoke.

“Be one of us.” Bucky smiled.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? I thought you was going to kill me!” she shouted.

“No? Why would we kill you?” Bucky asked puzzled by her words.

“You all act weird and take me to an old railway track, I mean come on!”

“Oh yeah… it does seem a bit murdery feely.”

“Exactly!”

“Okay, not to get off topic, Y/n what do you say? Be an official member of our gang?” Wanda questions. “My knees are starting to hurt.”

“Do I get a cool jacket?”

“No but you do get a cool bracelet that we’ve made.”

Mulling the offer over, Y/n smiled and nodded. “Yes I’ll join your gang even though I thought you was going to kill me.”

Bucky had the honour of putting on the bracelet on her wrist, it was the exact same one that all of them wore on their own wrists. “Welcome to our crazy family.” He whispered.

Each of them hugging her before going back to the garage to carry on drinking. Y/n was about to follow until Bucky’s hand slipped into hers and tugged making her stop. He watched as the others got further away from them.

“Bucky?”

“I- I just want a few minutes alone, j-just the two of us.”

“Oh okay.” She noticed that he was still holding her hand, she was glad because she loved the warmth radiating off him.

“I really like you Y/n.” Bucky speaks after a few minutes of silence.

“I really like you too.”

“No, not like that. I mean... I mean I love you, I’m so fucking in love with you it’s crazy, you’re all I think about with your perfect smile and perfect laugh, man I really love your laugh! And you’re so perfect and honestly it drives me insane because you’re everything-“

Y/n cuts him off by pressing her lips to his.

“I love you-“

Bucky cuts her off by grabbing the back of her head, bringing her closer to him so he can carry on kissing her.

By the time they get back to the rest of them both of their lips were swollen and their cheeks were tinted red. Bucky sits in the seat and instantly pulls her on to his lap, both of them ignoring the cheering coming from their friends.

“It was about time you asked her out!” Steve cheered.

“Oh… shit yeah, Y/n will you be my girlfriend?”

They all burst out laughing a she nods. “Yes I’ll be your girlfriend.”

Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77

[moonlitstoriess]

Across the Universe-ch.1 (Azriel x reader, eventual Fenrys x reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terassen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

See masterlist

A/n: hey everyone! so this is my first work on here and I just hope you will enjoy it. Please do not hesitate to comment whether you like it/want more of it or if you have some good constructive criticism to give! I will give some clarifications at the end of this chapter as to not give away any spoilers beforehand:)

Being a female Illyrian with wings was never meant to be easy. Growing up and not knowing your parents was perhaps the greatest pain a child could endure. Especially if that child grows up in a cruel place like the Illyrian camps. For the first 20 years of her life, y/n knew nothing but pain, mistreatment and hatred as she spent her youth at the cruel hands of an old Illyrian bastard. Of course, what y/n went through was never kept as a secret but it is not like anyone cared anyway. This was Illyria, the mistreatment of females was not a surprise. In fact, the vile monsters who called themselves warriors, encouraged it.

And just like any other female unlucky enough to be born in Illyria and have wings, y/n had to get her wings clipped. Even after all those years, that moment that changed everything for y/n is still so vivid in her mind...

The leaves in the forest crunched as his boots kept stepping on them while dragging her through the maze of trees.

"Please, please I beg you do not take my wings!"

He kept on ignoring her. She called him a 'He' because y/n would never willingly say his disgusting name. Not when he was the cause of all her trauma and illnesses. She kept thrashing, begging and trying to get away but it was useless.

"I beg yo-"

Her words were cut short as a slap was delivered to her face.

"Shut you mouth! you useless bitch"

She never begged. No, y/n was strong, even then, at her weakest she was strong. She never begged. Not when he would burn her hands, not when he would whip her back, not when he would beat her up because she forgot to do a chore. But now she begged. She begged for her only form of freedom, her precious wings. At that moment y/n knew what had to be done. This was the last straw.

"Stay like that on your knees and do NOT move, or else you won't like the consequences."

As he turned around to search for his tools, y/n sat there on the ground in the middle of this dark forest just outside the outskirts of the village and knew she could not go down like those before her. For 20 years she submitted to his every will but not now, not again. Weak coward is what she has been and now it was time to change that.

When he turned around, y/n was holding her only form of protection, her pocket knife that she would always hide under her clothes. When he was close enough, y/n gave a final prayer to the mother and attacked him with a sloppy move that would result in either her freedom or death.

"It is time to truly make you bound to me you bi-"

He did not get to finish his words as the knife he did not see in the dark, found its mark in his throat. Crimson red blood was everywhere as that monster choked on his own blood like a damn fool and finally, slumped to the ground.

The rest? Well, the rest became history as y/n left that night with his blood still soaking her own clothes and body and his fresh corpse laying on the ground. She would never let anyone ever dictate her life again. Never would she be weak again. And so, for the next 80 years of her life, y/n went from one place to another and taught herself how to fight and be like a warrior. Her name began spreading around like wildfire, as people started talking of the Illyrian female who not only managed to keep her wings but also killed her abuser.

She helped hundreds, by recruiting victims of different horrible events and teaching them how to fight and protect themselves. Y/n became a legend especially in the eyes of female Illyrians who tried to follow her lead. This was also the reason why y/n one day opened her door to see the High Lord of the Night Court waiting for her. The smile on Rhysands face was blinding as he praised y/n while also telling her about how it was a dream of his to get rid of the old Illyrian traditions and rules set against the females. It was on that eventful day that the High Lord also offered y/n to join his court and make a very impactful visit to Illyria after all these years to help him make those changes.

At the time, it was a huge step for y/n as she delegated her role as a trainer to her first-best student who was more than honored to continue y/n's job in the training academy. When she came to Velaris she was in awe of its beauty and comfort. The inner circle welcomed her with open arms and although y/n was a little distant at first, she soon got along well with everyone and especially Cassian as they trained daily together. It was also the time when the first seeds of her crush on Azriel were planted.

Therefore, by the age of 100, y/n was an official member of the night court, a legendary figure who started to make her changes during her visits to the Illyrian camps. This time, she went in not as a weakling, but as a feared and well-respected fighter, female and most of all, Illyrian. But even with all of the fierce titles that she got, y/n still felt like turning into a small, shy and meek girl whenever Azriel was around. Rhysand sending them together on constant missions did nothing to ease her increasing infatuations with the famed shadowsinger either.

Unfortunately, they got closer during the darkest of times when Rhysand sacrificed himself to protect his court and city from Amarantha. It was then that, Azriel and y/n shared their deepest, most raw and intimate moments with one another while also doing their best to protect the city in which they were locked in thanks to Rhysands wards. Those moments were what led y/n to confess her true feelings to the spymaster during the 4th year of what would be Amarantha's 50 year reign of terror. After that day, they truly became lovers in all aspects that mattered. Even though that unmistakable bond of a mate did not appear, y/n knew it was only a matter of time before they both felt it. There was no other way.

Today, sitting here on her lovers chair in his office, y/n felt proud of herself and her loved ones for overcoming so much. Rhysand and Feyre under the mountain, the war against Hybern, Nesta and Elain becoming high fae, and the attack on Velaris all left many scars both visible and invisible on everyone. Knowing that everyone has finally found some form of happiness and that her lover is safe with her should have made y/n happy, excited even. But as of late, she could not bring herself to feel anything because Azriel was not the male she once knew.

For a very long time now, the shadowsinger has been distancing himself from y/n in favor of spending more time with a specific redheaded priestess, Gwyneth. What was once called the hour of reading by y/n and Az in the comfort of their home, turned into reading with Az and Gwyn in the library. Even during training, Gwyn would respectfully decline y/n or anyone elses offers to train her and would instead ask Azriel to teach her. He would always happily oblige, leaving y/n alone as Cassian trained with Nesta. At first, y/n tried to understand and reason by thinking that since Azriel was the one to save the priestess from facing a terrible fate in the library of Sangravah, it was only fair that she felt safe around him. However, the other priestesses were also saved by Azriel, Cassian and Rhysand and yet, y/n never saw them be as clingy as Gwyn was towards Azriel.

The final nail in the coffin came when Azriel started coming home late and locking himself up in his office and leaving early in the morning. This meant that y/n never saw her lover, let alone kissed or made love to him. That is how it led to her finally coming to his office to wait for him and get some answers to her questions.

"Y/n? W-what are you doing here?"

That slightly nervous voice drew her back into reality as y/n looked back from the window showing the beautiful city, to see Azriel standing in the doorway with dishelved hair and a sort of scared look in his eyes, no matter how much he tried to not show it, y/n knew him like the back of her hand. Being together for 52 years does that to you. This was not a good sign then, for Azriel never showed such a shameful expression and his shadows were nowhere in sight.

As y/n got up from the chair and started walking towards him, her mind and soul clinged onto that last thread of hope that the male whom she loved was not unfaithful to her, that he would explain everything and she would see that she was making silly little assumptions out of nothing.

Unfortunately, all that hope came crashing down as y/n got close enough to him and smelled that scent of another female, that scent that belonged to...Gwyn. And if the small dark marks that were peeking above the spymasters shirt were any indicator, they did more than just read together.

Y/n felt like she was drowning, like a huge mountain just crashed down on her and she was left under all that rubble to suffocate and die. She was frozen in her spot, unfeeling and unmoving as she felt her body shut down completely. Clearly, this only meant that she would shatter soon enough but not here, not in front of him. Never would she ever be weak infront of any male. And so, with a voice that conveyed no emotion, she asked, "How long?"

"Y/n ple-"

"How long, Azriel."

Azriel sighed as he looked anywhere but at her when he said, "Since the first time Nesta brought her to train with us."

"But that was 2 years ago."

After seeing him nod very slightly, she reigned in her tears that were burning the backs of her eyes, and asked one simple question,

"Why?"

Now it was the shadowsingers turn to look as emotionless as he could while saying, "Because she is my mate y/n."

Mate, mate, mate ofcourse he would have a mate, no matter how many years they were together, neither of them ever felt that bond snap. Foolish, so foolish to think, to hope that they were destined to be, that their bond would snap any moment. But how cruel can one be to hide the truth for 2 years, To go behind her back, even if Gwyn is his mate, and be unfaithful? To not admit the truth as if y/n wouldn't understand. And Gwyn? how could she never once mention it to y/n during all those moments spent together? How, how how..

As if that pain was not enough, Azriel confessed, "I am sorry y/n but truly, did you think we were fated to be? I always knew what we had was temporary, that we were never going to have a happy end as the cauldron would give us both our own mates. My love for you has always only been platonic...have you not noticed that I never once said 'I love you'? I saw you as a friend, a companion in whom I could loose myself for a while as I waited for my mate to come. Truly, you were good, so good to me, kind and caring and yet, so foolish. You imagined and expected too much of us y/n...for you I was a male whom you desperately loved but for me, you were simply someone who I could spend my time with until my mate arrived. I love Gwyn, I have taken her to the house of wind multiple times and made love to her there, I have spent my time understanding and creating as many memories as possible with her. From the moment I saw her 2 years ago when Nesta brought her, I felt this pull towards her and now...now I could never get enough. I do not say this to hurt you, but to make you see the truths that we were never what you wanted us to be."

Y/n took a deep inhale, the only indicator of her emotions at the moment while still processing his words and asked her final question while still staring at the wall behind him, "Who knew?"

Azriel was confused for a minute because after all that he had just confessed, she only asked that? Not to mention how much it was killing him to not understand her current emotions and expressions as y/n stayed completely unflinching, staring at the wall and expecting an answer from him. So, with a shameful sigh, the spymaster replied, "Everyone knew."

At that moment, y/n knew 2 things with clarity. First, never should you trust someone, no matter how close you are with them. Never should you give your heart to someone because in the end, they shall shatter it anyway. In this life, you are always on your own. Y/n has always been alone even after joining Rhys, y/n walked her own lonely road. Second, her "family" were traitorous liars. For the past 2 years as y/n descended back into her depressive moments, as she got flashbacks of those horrible times from her youth spent in the Illyrian village, as her panic attacks and insecurities started to resurface, the inner circle did nothing to pull her out of it. But what else would you expect from them? of course they would protect Azriel and his actions, no matter how disgusti-

"Y/n? please talk to me, I am going mad here with your lack of words and emotions. Please sweetheart." as Azriel's hand made contact with y/n's wrist, it was as if an electric shock brought her back to life.

Y/n slapped him right across the face as she said her next words in a tone so cruel and unfeeling, her enemies did not even hear that tone before meeting their death's at her hands, "If you touch me again, my knife shall find it's mark between your eyes, so unless you do not want to leave your precious mate a widow so soon, I suggest you get the fuck out of my sight, shadowsinger."

"Y/n ple-"

"Oh and, since you are such a loyal dog to him, do tell your rotten high lord that I am leaving his rotten court. I shall be gone by sunrise."

As she turned to leave his office throught he backdoor, Azriel did something that Y/n had never known him capable of doing. He fell on his knees as tears threatened to spill from his eyes and begged in a voice so shaky, y/n could only think whether he was even real.

"Y/n I beg you, let us talk properly, Gwyn kept telling me how I must let you know. That she hates being a secret but I was such a coward I-I..plea-"

"I do not care what Gwyn has to say. Save your tears and pleas for someone who cares Azriel, you are right, you are a coward and perhaps you always were one for playing with my feelings in such a cruel way. Do not come after me or I swear I won't hesitate to end you with my bare hands."

With that, y/n turned her back on the male for whom she would once move the mountains for, for whom she would sacrifice herself for. The male whom she loved so much and yet, this whole time he toyed with her, he saw her as a placeholder. What a blind fool have you been y/n.

The second y/n made sure that Azriel left the house, she broke down in tears. For the first time in a very long time, y/n cried unstoppable tears. But that moment came to an abrupt end as she heard a voice. Whether it was within her mind or from somewhere else she did not know and did not care because even though the voice sounded so far away, she got this immediate urge within her soul to go find it.

Deep down, y/n knew she should let it be, that she is possibly imagining things and that she should start packing now but that urge within her tightened as if wanting her to go find the source of the voice. So, with a final wipe of her tears, y/n stood and leapt through her window, spreading her wings and following that string to reach the distant voice.

As y/n began nearing the source of the sound, she realized that it is coming from the house of wind. She should have turned around and left at that second because seeing this house now only brought back Azriels words about how he spent his time here with Gwyn. Atleast that is what the y/n who was not possesed by an urge would do. But alas, this thread only grew stronger within her, leaving her no other choice.

As she began walking down the halls of the house, y/n looked back on all her memories with the inner circle here. Once, those memories would have made her smile fondly but now, they only make her feel anger and disgust. They knew this whole time...such liars, such tra-

No...this could not be it. The urge within her must have been playing a foolish trick because no way was the voice coming from this room. But that urge within her had died down as if finally only the double doors in front of y/n were stopping her from getting to the voice. But this room wasn't just any room. It was the warded room containing all 3 objects of the Trove AND the Book of Breathings.

From here, she could clearly hear the ugly, hissing voice of the book saying, "Welcome, The Terror."

"Why are you hesitating? Open the door child, open it."

As if on cue, the wards around the room disappeared and the doors opened for her. Y/n could only be confused for a second before an unknown power forced her to walk into the area. And there it was, that book sitting on the circular table in the middle of the room, beckoning for her to come closer.

"The Iron Phoenix, you finally came to learn your destiny."

Y/n scoffed as she looked at the silly book from a distance and said, "Did you truly waste my time by making me come to you so that you could spit your nonsense at me? I have enough to deal with already, I do not need another headache from you."

As she turned around to leave, the book hissed loudly, "Do not mock me you fool, I know your deepest secret Winged Fury, a secret so precious not even your once beloved lover knows."

At that, y/n turned around with a shocked expression all over her face and asked, "How? How do you know of it?"

"You can not know more than me, Valkyrie, I am the one who knows it all."

It seems today was the day when y/n had to find out just how little she knows about everything. She had enough, and this stupid book will be the unfortunate one to be the outlet of her emotions. Furious, she took quick strides to reach it as she began, "How dare you?! you call me here to spit nothing of value at me while I just went through the wo-"

A sudden wave of power hit her as y/n felt like she was stuck in one place right in front of the book. Her walls, her mental walls they...they were being melted down as she felt her mind fall into some hypnotic spells.

With a voice so beautiful and eerily soothing, the book says, "Open me, open me Braveheart and see your true destiny."

Somewhere, the last sane part of her was telling y/n that this was wrong, that whatever will happen once she opens the book won't be good. Unfortunately, y/n seemed unable to follow that voice as her fingers made contact with the cover of the ancient book and flipped it open.

The book started flipping its own pages until it landed on the one with language so old, y/n knew that it was not remembered within the past history. Her mouth began moving against her will as she began saying the words on the book in such an experienced manner, it felt as if the ancient object had posessed her.

At some point, y/n could hear distant voices...was that Rhys? Az? Cas? or no, no maybe that is Nesta or another female who is screaming? Y/n could not move, could not think, as if her sole purpose was to finish the spell. She could distantly feel her body loosing its physicality. Was she disappearing? Was she becoming a ghost?

As she was saying the final words of the book, y/n turned around to find everyone from the inner circle in the room trying to get closer to her. Despair was all over their faces but it was Azriels tear striken face that y/n saw for the last time before darkness welcomed her.

"You are home now, Stormbreaker, you are home."

"Now, you shall unfold your true destiny."

With a jolt, y/n shot her eyes open and got up from...was this a grassy hill? as she turned to look behind her, there was a small lake with a white...is that a deer? What is this place? Where was she?

But y/n did not get to explore anything else as she felt the cool edge of a knife press into her throat from behind as a male voice said to her, "You move, you die."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: Damn this was fun to write! What secret does y/n have? I did leave a very tiny clue on that for anyone who might find it;) Anyway, I know most of you were maybe expecting Az to cheat with Elain but i am a Gwynriel shipper through and through and just could not think of Elain being such a homwrecker. Of course I am pretty sure Gwyn isn't one either butttt just for the sake of plot ya know. This won't be the last time we see the acotar characters as they will appear hopefully in the later chapters. But for now, sit back and watch y/n's new journey in this new world.

[invisible-lint]

Everything Could Be Okay: Chapter 1

Rhys x Tamlin's sister!reader

Summary: Tamlin has sent Feyre away. Emotions follow

Warnings: more angst. Allusions to Under the Mountain happenings, but not in much detail

Word Count: 1.2k

Prologue Chapter 2

You rush into the manor, hoping that you can get far enough away before the emotion churning in your chest consumes you. You couldn’t be the supportive sister you supposed Tamlin wanted you to be right now, weren’t sure you thought it was what he deserved. After all, it was his fault that the human he loved was leaving. It was his fault that you were all doomed to be taken Under the Mountain. It was his fault that Andras’ death was now for nothing. So no, you decide, he does not deserve your pity.

You manage to stumble your way into your bedroom, tears stinging in your eyes, burning your throat. You yank a pillow off the bed, burying your face into it before you scream, letting the emotion overwhelm you. You are angry, so angry that you ignore the knocking on your door. How could Tamlin do this? Sacrifice everyone and everything for his human love. Does he know how much it stings? His betrayal? That his love was enough was enough to save her. But you, your love? That was not enough to save Andras. You fling yourself onto the bed. This is where you will stay until they come to drag you all down Under the Mountain, you don’t care anymore. There’s nothing left for you to care about.

You wander the hall, ignoring the chill that hasn’t left your bones the entire time down here, no matter what you did. You didn’t sleep, finding it nearly impossible to. It had only been a few nights spent under the mountain, but already what you had seen haunted you every time you closed your eyes. You think of what Andras had said that day in the forest, about wanting to save you. If only he could see how ruined you were now. Would he be as angry with your brother as you are? You suppose, the one relief is that he is not here with you. You would not wish him here in this place even now as loneliness echoes in your soul. You aren’t thinking about where your body is taking you, only stopping as you nearly collide with the male in front of you. Your sudden stop has you nearly tipping off balance, and he reaches a hand out, steadying you. You look up at him, your own eyes meeting his violet ones.

“You shouldn’t roam by yourself at night. It’s not safe.”

“Yes, well you would know all about that, wouldn’t you, Rhysand?” you question, voice as icy as you feel.

He ignores the jab, directing you towards your room. “Allow me to escort you.”

You say nothing, following as he guides you. You say nothing as he directs you to the armchair and waves a hand, a fire springing to life in the hearth. You remain silent until he’s about to leave the room.

“Why did you leave me there?” He turns to you, eyes filled with confusion.

“The night you came to Spring and killed my father and brothers. I followed you out to the garden and begged you to either take me with you or kill me too. But you just left me there. Why?”

Your eyes meet his, filled with so much grief and pain, and he finds himself wondering what you went through before you found yourself down here. You stand, crossing to him, angry at the tears that sting your eyes. 

“It would have been wrong.”

You choke out a bitter laugh. “And look at me now. I would have been better off.”

He’s not sure why he does it, but he brushes past your wards with ease, helping your troubled mind find unconsciousness, catching you as you crumple. He tucks you into bed, brushing hair back from your face and tucking it behind your ear, bringing kinder memories to the front of your mind, helping you find pleasant dreams for once.

He tries to find you again the next few nights, uncertain of why he feels so suddenly drawn to you. But he remains unlucky, as if you're avoiding him as hard as he's trying to find you.

It’s shortly after that Feyre finds her way Under the Mountain to rescue Tamlin. You aren’t sure how you feel, but there's one thing you know for certain. You will do anything within your power to help her. To make Andras’ death mean something. You find her the night after, a spare blanket and food hidden underneath your cloak. You see him again as you make your way to the cells, eyes meeting his across the distance before hurrying away. 

You enter the cell and take in the sight of the human woman in front of you, holding a finger to your lips as you cross over to her, kneeling at her side, healing her. You give her the food and the blanket. She tries apologizing for Andras once more, but you shush her, shaking your head. 

“You are not the one I am angry with. You are not the one who needs to apologize. I can understand why you… did what you did.” She looks almost surprised. “I will help you however I can without interfering. I will help you beat her, for Andras.” She smiles and you find yourself smiling too, the movement feeling odd after so much time. 

You rush to the cells, hoping you are not too late. You enter as Rhysand exits and Feyre looks at you.

“I tried to wait for you to come. You said you would come. But a human can die so quickly from that kind of thing and I-” 

You interrupt her, dropping to your knees beside her, pulling her into a tight hug, choking back a sob. “I was just worried that I was too late and you were already dead. I don’t care what bargain you made with him. It saved your life, and when we get out of here, I will face it with you. You are too important Feyre.” She tells you of the bargain, and you smile. “You know, I have always wanted to see the Night Court.”

More time has passed and Feyre has beaten the trials. You watch in horror, unable to intervene, frozen to the spot, as Amarantha hurts Feyre, wishing you could fight for her. You glare at your brother, cursing him for not fighting for her. Why can’t he fight for her the way you already had? Why had he given up so easily? You gasp as Feyre answers the riddle and the mask falls from your face. You step forward as Amarantha snaps Feyre’s neck, wanting to do something, anything. You watch as finally, Tamlin does something, killing her, ripping her throat out. You sink to your knees, unable to help the relief that floods your veins along with the grief. Amarantha was dead and that meant that your husband’s death would finally mean something. That you had not lost everything for nothing.

  You watch on as the High Lords all revive Feyre, bringing her back as a fae. You ignore the purple-eyed male staring at you and whatever it is you feel pulling you to him. There would be time to worry about that later, but for now, you find yourself at Feyre's other side, realizing that although you had lost so much, there were things you had gained too.

A/N: And there it is! Not feeling great about this one, but everytime I tried fixing it I found myself writing the next parts, so here it is! Requests are open, so feel free to send some in! I'd love to write some one shots too!

divider is by @tsunami-of-tears

taglist: @lilah-asteria @readingislife2006 @acourtofimagines @mistymoocow @irelanrose

[sweatervest-obsessed]

You're Keeping Me Down

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her)

WC: ~5.8k

TW: mentions of trauma, mentions of Maeve, kissing, previous relationships, swearing, alcohol, so much crying, bad decisions, girlbossing

A/N: ayo....angsty teehee. I hope y'all like it! It's a sequel to Dedicated to New Lovers and was inspired mainly by Sara Bareilles's Gravity, some Harry Styles, and other sad songs. I hope y'all enjoy it!! I really do love reading all of your comments, and tags, and feedback because it makes me so happy to know you guys are enjoying the writing!! <3

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou

Something always brought you back to Doctor Spencer Reid. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how much you fought it, something about the universe could not keep you away from him for too long. 

It was like the two of you were attached at opposite ends of a string, always pulling you towards one another, ignoring whatever you had been feeling beforehand. 

There was nothing you could do to escape him. You had tried traversing the globe, studying in Greece and Turkey, or taking vacations in the most remote villages of China; you had even done a two-week expedition traveling to Antarctica. But somehow, some way, Spencer Reid stayed in the back of your mind. 

Sometimes, it was like he was right next to you. You could still feel him next to you in your bed, or if you were alone in your car, your hand was absently reaching toward the passenger seat, only to feel the leather and not his leg. 

Maybe it was because all of those stupid little facts he had spouted to you were resting in the back of your mind, popping up when you’d come across anything he would have told you about. 

It was something you missed. He would just ramble on about anything to you, watching the joy on his face as he continued to speak, so grateful to have an audience, to have someone who cared. But you’d have to remind yourself that Spencer chose her as his audience instead of you. 

Her. 

The guilt of Maeve’s death followed you around more than Spencer did. At first, it was anything to do with therapists. The thought of choosing someone to speak to outside of your circle was a betrayal you had felt, and you couldn’t bring yourself to do the same. Then it was your distrust of your friends, watching as they became less and less frequent in your life. 

Work was all-consuming. You knew this fact well. Being one of the top profilers in the FBI meant that news of your transfer went fast, and the job offers came even quicker. But you decided to take some time off to rediscover the girl you once knew, someone outside her job. 

The BAU was simply your life for the past eight years. You worked at the BAU, you dated inside of the BAU, and your friends were all within the BAU–It was honestly a joke that it all had decided to come crumbling down once you felt secure in your life, in your job, in your relationship. 

You had filed the paperwork that allowed you to take two months of paid leave, not to leave the department. Your social media suddenly became filled with images of Ancient Greek monuments, Italian Vineyards, the French and Swiss Alps, and cities you once only visited in your wildest dreams. 

Escaping reality was the best way to rediscover who you are. And so you tried.

When you returned from your two months, you had walked into the BAU bullpen and straight to Hotch’s office. Your skin was tanner, and your hair was a bit lighter from all of the sun. You were suddenly this confident woman again, but you weren’t who you were before, making you nearly unrecognizable. 

“Y/N, please come in.” 

You smiled warmly at Hotch, giving him a quick hug. 

“You look good. How were your travels?” 

You smiled and leaned against the wall, not wanting to sit since that meant you would be here longer than you wanted. 

“It was everything I needed it to be, Hotch .” You nodded to the file on his desk with your name on it. “I take it Garcia ‘accidentally’ discovered my file and decided to drop it off?” 

Hotch sighed and opened the file, looking over at you. “Of course she did. I thought you were just transferring after your leave; I didn’t know you were leaving the Bureau entirely.” 

You nodded, a sad smile making its way onto your face. 

Hotch looked at you, replicating the same sad smile. 

“I wanted to tell you in person since I didn’t want you to find out via paperwork, but I should have known to come to your office first and then file it instead of filing it on my way to your office.” 

A soft chuckle passed through Hotch’s lips as he nodded. “We’re going to miss you more than before, Y/N.” 

“I won't be gone forever, Hotch. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” 

“I know.” He rounded the desk, giving you a quick hug, arm on your shoulder. “You have my number.” 

You gave him a quick smile, nodding, “Don’t worry, Jack will still be getting weekly updates about my travels, and expect a box of goodies occasionally. I have to uphold my reigning title of the coolest aunt ever.” 

As you left Hotch’s office, you didn’t notice Spencer at the coffee station. You didn’t see as he watched you quickly drop a note off on Emily’s desk and another on Derek’s desk before stepping into the elevator for the last time for the next two years. 

You didn’t notice the heartbreak in his eyes, and you didn’t notice the fact that he had overheard as you told Hotch you weren’t coming back to the FBI at all. 

But somehow, you found yourself back in that same elevator, visitor badge clipped to the new dress you had received as a gift from a friend during your month-long stay in India last year. The fabric draped across your body, highlighting how beautiful your curves were, and the colors brought out this newfound radiance in your skin, your eyes, your smile...

Color was the newest development in your life. The BAU meant that everything was in professional shades of blue, black, white, or maybe a subdued purple or green if you felt risky. But suddenly, your wardrobe burst through the rainbow as you experimented with patterns and shades, basking in this newfound joy beyond the world of suits. 

Eighteen months of experimenting–with life, with colors, with places you called home, with love.

You had two brief “love affairs” as Garcia lovingly called them. One was only two weeks long, but the other was a few months. Yet both were missing something special and could barely converse with you. Maybe that was how Spencer felt. And the sex wasn’t all that great either.  

And yet, after Eighteen months, an award, four nominations, a cat, a mediocre short-term relationship, and one groundbreaking dissertation that led to a Ph.D. later, you found yourself back in that damned elevator. 

You inhaled sharply as you heard the tiny ding, doors opening up to a sight that made your stomach twist. It was truly bittersweet to be back, to visit the place that once carried everything in your life, and to have it be so foreign to you. 

But what was not so foreign was how one Derek Morgan looked up as the door opened and his eyes filled to the brim with light. 

“Well, well, well, look who it is.” He dropped his file on his desk and met you in the middle of the side aisle of the bullpen, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. “My woman.” He muttered into your hair, giving you an extra squeeze before pulling away slightly. 

“What’s up, sexy.” You laughed, thrilled to hear he hadn’t changed too much while you were away. 

“I’m sexy? Have you seen yourself recently?” He laughed, and you gave him a twirl, eager to show off one of your favorite dresses. “And where did you get this? Wait, wait, let me guess.” 

You pursed your lips, failing to hide the smile that was beaming across your face. 

“Was it your time in Taiwan? No no…Pakistan?” 

“So close. India. Maybe next time, champ.” You patted his arm, turning your head at the gasp behind me. 

“Do my eyes deceive me, or is that Doctor Y/N Y/L/N, world traveler extraordinaire?” 

“JJ, you saw me three days ago.” 

JJ pulled you into a hug. “Yeah, over Facetime,” she grumbled, not even trying to pretend she was upset at the sight of you in person. “You seriously have to stop sending Henry so much stuff.” 

“Some of it is for the other one, too.” You muttered to her, knowing she wasn’t fully public with her pregnancy at the BAU just yet. 

“I’ll be right back, I promise, I just have to say hi to Hotch first.” You placed your hands on their arms, turning towards Hotch’s office. As you went to knock on the door, it opened, leaving you face to face with the only person you weren’t ready to confront just yet. 

“Hi.” He breathed out.

And fuck you, he looked so good. 

“Hi, Spencer.” 

You watched as a wave of emotion rippled across his face. His name almost tasted weird in your mouth, not something you’ve often said in the two years apart. 

“I’ll, um..” He moved to step out of the way, letting you maneuver into Hotch’s office. 

But you had also tried to move, causing you and Spencer to almost collide, causing his hand to barely grace your waist. A spark flew through your skin at the thought of his touch, causing goosebumps up and down your body. 

You both muttered an apology, eyes not leaving the other until you quickly moved into Hotch’s office, causing him to move back, still watching as you closed the door in his face.

While you spoke to Hotch, catching up, Spencer was down in the bullpen at his desk, barely even trying to move them away from the windows. 

JJ and Derek stood around his desk, looking from the office to Spencer and back again. 

“She’s back.” He said simply when Kate approached them, wondering why they were all standing around, staring at Hotch’s office. 

“Who?” Kate crossed her arms, looking between the agents, hoping for an answer.

Spencer said your name for the first time in a very long time. And it was almost as if his brain whirred to life, like some part of him had been dormant for a long time. 

“Doctor.” 

Spencer gave Derek a weird look. “What?” 

“It’s Doctor Y/N Y/L/N now, Pretty Boy.” 

Spencer let his mouth fall into a small oh, letting his mind sink deeper and deeper into the pit of you. 

When you had originally left, Spencer decided to try and ignore you. It didn’t work, but he wouldn’t seek you out purposefully. He never looked up your name and tried to steer clear of the conversations involving you. But he wondered why you had never mentioned wanting to get a doctorate beforehand. He would have remembered something like that. He should have remembered something like that. ______________________________________________________________

The thought of Spencer’s fingers on your waist was the only thing you could think about for the rest of the day. Your skin hadn’t stopped tingling, and suddenly you wanted to drown in his touch, let his hands roam over your body and— “Stop it.” You said out loud as you put in your earrings. 

Your mind wasn’t playing far. 

“What did you say, sweetheart?” 

“Nothing, just talking to myself!” You called back, sighing as you smoothed out the front of the dress you had changed into. 

The team had decided to throw you a welcome-back party that night, generously hosted by David Rossi. And since they had all wanted an excuse to get dressed up, you gave them that much, meaning you had to dawn heels and a touch of makeup to accentuate the features you wanted. It also meant you got to pull out another stunning dress you had bought. 

Celebrating your doctorate, which you completed a year early, you had flown to Milan with Emily Prentiss and decided to go shopping, which is how you ended up with the current dress you were wearing. 

It fits you in all the right places, showing off just enough cleavage to be tasteful but maybe tempt something a bit more. You wondered if Spencer would like—

“God, I forgot how hot you look in that dress.” 

“Emily Prentiss, I could kiss you on the mouth.” 

Emily laughed and looped her arm through yours, staring at the two of you in the mirror. 

“Thank you for flying in on such short notice.” You whispered, unable to take your eyes off of the reflection staring back at you.

“We can call the whole thing off right now…”

You shook your head and smiled at her. “It’s for me. And I really want some of Rossi’s cooking right about now. Especially now that I can compare my worldly experiences with the Italian Masterchef himself.” You laughed, causing Emily to laugh with you. 

“Let's get going, yeah?” 

The ride to Rossi’s house on the outskirts of Washington D.C. made for a relaxing drive, filled with updates from your best friend about each other’s lives, even though it had only been a month since you had seen each other last. 

“I think you’re being perfectly reasonable, hun.” 

“You’re saying that because all I do is cry these days,” you grumbled, kissing the head of the black cat in your lap. 

Emily laughed and took a sip of her wine. “Or maybe I just know that you need a change of scenery. You’ve dedicated your entire life to the BAU and now you need to explore the entire rest of the world.” 

“I think you just want to go to Greece with me.” 

“You know how much I love Mamma Mia….”

You cracked a smile and picked up your glass. “Maybe Em, I’m not sure…I just…”

Emily watched as you looked up, trying to keep the tears from your eyes. 

“I know he’s not worth the tears,” you mumbled, but you exhaled slowly. “It’ll just hit me sometimes.” 

She stayed quiet, watching as you slowly worked through whatever was happening in your head. 

“It’s like he’s right next to me sometimes. I…It’s like sometimes my own head is against me for not talking to him. I heard a song the other day, and I immediately turned to tell him something about it and–It’s like he’s ruling over my mind—” You huffed angrily. “I feel like I’m not making any sense–god.” You downed your wine and placed the glass on the table. “Maybe I’m just meant to wallow and drink wine and be completely useless for the rest of my life…past my prime, past my worth. I was so—I was so fucking sure he was the one…Like there's this strong attachment to my chest and I’m connected to him for eternity, regardless of whether he loves me or not.” 

Emily pulled you into her arms while you cried, rubbing your back. 

“You are so much more than him, hun. You will go out in the world, figure out who you are again, and stand so tall, just how you’re supposed to.”

“So tall.” Emily looked at you as she parked the car in Rossi’s driveway. 

“Just the way I’m supposed to be.” You whispered, looking over at her, smiling.  ______________________________________________________________

You’ve been to Rossi’s more times than you could ever admit, but it managed to take your breath away every single time. After his first wife had passed away, he had put in a garden near the edge of his backyard, providing beautiful color for you to look at from the porch. 

Somehow, you always had a half-full glass, managing to have someone always get you a new drink when you seemed low. 

You managed to talk to Jack and Henry, telling them all about the wonders of the world you had seen, then being pulled away by Garcia to discuss that brief love affair you had in Argentina, which then led to telling Derek about your time in England, studying for your doctorate. 

Gratefully, you excused yourself when Rossi announced that dinner had been served, leading you to the tables set up in the backyard, filled to the brim with all your favorite foods. He had simply done too much. 

Dinner was filled with smiles, laughs, and chatter about the ‘good ol days’ and the newer memories being made. You had become acquainted with Kate Callahan, Emily’s replacement. She seemed nice enough, but you both were hesitant of one another. 

Spencer was sitting across the table from you. The two of you would catch glances at one another, passing moments where you couldn’t help but notice the way the wind ruffled his hair or the way the garden’s fairy lights reflected in his eyes. 

“So, what brings you back to Washington,” Hotch asks you the question every person at the table has been dying to hear the answer to. 

“Oh! Well…” You blushed slightly and shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal, but I was just offered a position at Georgetown as an adjunct professor. If I take it, I’ll teach classes for at least the next semester. That is if I like it more than King’s College in London..”

The table erupted into congratulations, ending with a toast from Rossi.

You all raised your glass in “Salut”, and took a sip from your drink, but you couldn't help but look at Spencer, who was already looking at you. 

Excusing yourself from the table, you went inside quickly, walking towards the kitchen sink. You ran your hands under the cool water before splashing it across your face. 

“Y/n…”

There it was. The moment you had been dreading. The two of you were alone, no one else to buffer you, no one else to take your arm and drag you to the dance floor. 

“Spencer.” You turned around, your body leaning against the sink. God, you felt so small, so unable to watch yourself. 

“That’s a–that’s a beautiful dress.” 

“Milan.” You mused, fiddling with the ring on your pinky finger, unable to look away from the man before you. 

“Ah.” 

The silence hurt. Watching the two of you must have been painful because you could feel it. You once told this man everything about yourself; he once knew how your day went by one singular sigh. He could have told you what you were in the mood to eat for breakfast just by how you woke up. 

But now, you didn’t even know what to say. 

“Georgetown.” 

You nodded and looked down at your nails, seeming that they felt like a safer bet to look at. “Yeah, uh…should be fun. Can I–” You looked up at him. “Can I ask you something?” 

Spencer’s head nodded, and you pursed your lips, looking out the window and watching as your friends and family all laughed together and ate together. 

“When I was…um.” You cleared your throat, willing away the tears that had instantly sprung to your eyes. “When I was packing up all my stuff two years ago…I found the…W-Was it for her or…” You braced yourself for impact. Waiting for him to respond. 

Spencer’s eyes glassed over, and his mouth formed a small oh. He fiddled with his ring finger and looked out past you through the window. He couldn’t bear to watch the travesty he was about to cause. 

“You.” 

“Oh.” Fuck this. Fuck. You had sobbed over finding it for three hours while packing and then  sobbed again as you moved out. Somehow, hearing it out loud was worse. 

He was going to propose to you.

Spencer Reid had wanted to marry you. And god, that hurt. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, and then he told you that he wasn’t in love with you anymore. 

You didn’t care if you were reserving a spot in hell for yourself by damning an already dead woman. Her death meant Spencer could feel an ounce of the grief you just dug up. A sliver of the pain. 

Suddenly, you felt his hand on your jaw, a thumb on your cheek, wiping away the tear that had escaped your eye. “I am so sorry.” He whispered. 

And that broke the damn. 

He pulled you into his arms, and you let him, surrounding yourself with Spencer. Letting the smell of his cologne wash over you, letting him squeeze you tightly like he used to so long ago. The feeling of his chest rising and falling gave you such comfort that your brain was screaming at you to run away from it. You had finally built all your walls back up; you felt as if you could finally exist, but here in his arms, the world was silent. 

In his arms, you felt fragile; you felt so small. All of the strength you had was gone. And it felt so fucking good to not have to be the strong one, the person with the brave face. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

His lips kissed your hair, arm running up and down your back, trying so desperately to bring back that sense of comfort he once could provide you. And it was fucking working. God, why was it working. Why did it feel good? Why couldn’t you pull away? 

“Spence…” You mumbled into his shirt, that had been stained by your tears. You shook your head. “I can’t…We can’t…”

He pulled away from you slightly, eyes saddened, and you couldn’t tell if it was because you were rejecting him or because he still loved you just as much as you loved him. 

“I love you.” 

You pulled away from the kiss, hand on his chest, smiling brightly at him. “What?”

It was the most beautiful you had ever looked, Spencer decided. 

Your lips were puffy from how much the two of you were kissing, hair messy from his hands running through it, eyes wide with just as much love repeated in his own. 

“I love you.” He repeated, smiling beyond measure.

“Say it again.” You mumbled, yanking him back down to your lips, kissing him again and again. 

“I love you so much, y/n y/l/n.” 

You pulled away, laughter filling up the entire room. Pure joy echoed and bounced off of the walls. 

Spencer bit his lip, pulling away slightly. You hadn’t set it back. 

“Spence…” You cupped both cheeks with your hand, thumb rubbing over his bottom lip. “I love you too.” 

Just saying it caused you to giggle, full of love and pure joy. 

Loving anyone else would have caused you to gag–it still does. 

But the memory makes you shudder, causing you to step out of his arms, quickly wiping away your tears or trying your best to. 

The thought of love made you want to rip your head off. It made you want to sink to the bottom of the ocean and never resurface. 

Spencer said your name, making you shake your head. 

“You don’t love me Spencer. You haven’t for a long time.” The admission caused a resurgence of tears, making him take a step towards you. “No, Spencer, no.” 

You shook your head again. “I-I can’t…you hurt me. You…you left me for someone you had never even met. She was–god.” 

“I never loved her the way I love you.” 

“No.” You whispered, chest heaving. “No, no. You can’t..fuck. Don’t say that shit–why would you say that shit to me.” 

“Because it's the truth.” He said softly, too calmly for you to just ignore it. 

“How can you stand there and say that to me? You don’t mean it—You can’t..” The past two year’s worth of therapy, of moving on, of becoming your own, came crumbling down because fuck, you didn’t know what to believe anymore. “How can you just…You don’t fucking mean it.” 

“I know you don’t believe me, but I–”

“Don’t believe you?” You laughed at that, tears mixing with the stabs in your chest, dropping past your mouth as it laughed and laughed and laughed. “Then why did you fucking leave me. Why–Why–Why did you tell me to move out and…God Spencer, why did you come here tonight.” 

You were almost hysterical at that point; all Spencer could do was watch. He couldn't touch you because every time he tried, you’d move away or lose some part of your mind even more. 

“What about me was so–so–so, so boring, so understimulating to you, so desperately ignorant that you told me you didn’t love me anymore, that you kicked me out of our home, that made you reconsider wanting to marry me. And you know, I get it, I do. You found someone on your level intellectually, I get it. But still, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life–what did she have that I didn’t, huh? What about her made her more appealing to talk to than me? ” 

“She…”

“She what, Spencer.”

“I wasn’t–”

“No.” You were leaning back against the counter, trying to gain some semblance of yourself back from the spiral you were on. “Don’t lie to me. Don’t give me some ‘unworthy’ thought process because maybe you’re fucking eidetic memory doesn’t remember all of the conversations we used to have, but I fucking do. I couldn’t cut them out of my skin if I tried, and god did I try.” 

Spencer stared at you, dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to do; he couldn’t function. All he could do was watch the pieces of you shatter all over, reliving the exact moments you were, but instead of being able to make it right, all he could watch as you closed yourself off more and more. 

“Y-you tried?” 

“God, Spencer, did you even look at me during those months.” 

“I…” He just looked at you, really looked at you. “I couldn’t.”

You scoffed, wiping away the tears on your cheeks, and straightened out your dress. 

“The only fucking thing I know is that if I don’t walk away now, then I will hate myself for the rest of my life for letting you talk me back into loving you again. And the worst part is, I still do. I don’t think I could ever love anyone again because of how much love I have for you, after everything we had been through, but—”

He kissed you.

Or you kissed him. 

You weren’t sure. 

But all you knew was that his hands were on your waist, and your hands were on his cheeks, and his lips were touching yours, and everything felt so right within the world, and your body was against his and just–

“Fuck.” You quickly pulled away, both of you panting, staring at one another, unsure about what happened. 

You two just stared at one another for what felt like forever until you heard Emily call your name from the porch. You took another step away, back against the kitchen counter, smoothing your hair and crossing your arms. 

Emily walked in and eyed the two of you, misreading the tension as something more antagonistic from before than what had actually happened. 

“Uh, Rossi made you a cake…” She looked between the both of you, watching as you nodded at her, standing up fully. You followed behind her, sparing one last look at Spencer, who was just looking at where you were standing. 

______________________________________________________________

“Uh, hi, sorry, could you point me toward Agent Hotchner’s Office.” 

The person whose shoulder you tapped turned around and gave you one of the most beautiful smiles you had ever seen. 

“Well hello, gorg–”

“Derek. Don’t be rude.” The woman next to Derek had elbowed him in the ribs, preventing more HR training for the both of them. “Hi. You must be Y/n. I’m Penelope, and that’s Derek, don’t mind him.” She looped her arm through yours and started to lead you towards the little staircase on the side of the room. 

“Hotch’s office is right up here.” 

“I–Thank you, Penelope.” You smiled at her. 

“I’ve read your file.” She whispered, smiling back at you. “I’m really excited to work with you because you are one impressive woman, let me tell you.” 

You blushed slightly, about to respond, but Penelope had knocked on Hotch’s door, causing a voice to tell you to “come in.” 

“Welcome to the team.” She pulled away, leaving you to enter Aaron Hotchner’s office for the first of many times. 

You opened the door and smiled at the man at the desk. “Hi, I’m–”

“Y/n Y/l/n, You have a very impressive resume. Please, take a seat.” He stood to shake your hand, gesturing to the chair before his desk. You quickly scanned the photos along the walls, the books on his shelves. 

“Everyone knows who I am before I know who they are.” You laughed slightly, taking the seat. 

“Yes, well, We’re all very excited to have you join us here.” 

The memory of your first day hit you like a wave when Aaron pulled your seat out for you back at the table outside. You stalled for only a second, but it was long enough for any of the various profilers at the table to notice something was off. 

You smiled through the speeches, and you laughed at the jokes and cried at the sweetness of your friends, but you were somewhere far away, dreaming about the moments that led you up to where you were. 

“And that is why I am glad to have you back because clearly, the universe respects you enough to let us all come together to celebrate the return of our Y/n.” You raised your glass and cheer with Rossi, standing up to hug him. 

“Now.” You smiled at all of the faces that looked up at you. “Let us eat cake!!” 

The table erupted and while Rossi cut slices for each of you, you sat back down, listening to what Garcia was telling you, but your eyes kept darting to the person directly across from you. 

You could feel his eyes any time they were on you, and you knew they were fleeting glances, but it was just too much. 

“Want to take a walk with me through the rose garden?” 

You nodded, standing up and accepting Derek’s arm, letting him lead you towards the garden, enjoying the fresh air and the sudden weight off of your shoulders. You couldn’t feel his gaze anymore but you knew he was still looking at you. 

“What’s next on your list of adventures.” Derek looked at you, watching the millions of emotions race across your face before settling on a smile and a shrug. 

“I’m not sure yet. You know about Georgetown, but I don’t know about D.C. anymore….”

Derek nodded and pulled out the chair at the small wire table. It sat under a trellis filled with gorgeously bloomed roses and baby’s breath. The smell was almost overwhelmingly fragrant. 

You gratefully took it and watched as he went and sat across from you. 

“You looked like you got a bit overwhelmed back there.” 

“What happened to not profiling me like I asked?” 

Derek chuckled, “It’s not profiling if it’s written on your sleeve.” 

You sighed and looked out at some of the flowers. “I don't…”

He let you work through it in your mind, just glad to keep you company while you figured your shit out. 

Eventually, you spoke up. “It’s weird.” 

Derek hummed in agreement. 

“I don’t know. Just. I felt like I was doing so well, and I was becoming my own person, figuring out who I was, and then I come back here, and suddenly I’m back to being that twenty-two-year-old kid who breezed her way through the academy. It’s like I did everything in my power to end up where I did, and then the universe told me I fucked up and should have done something else.” 

“I don’t think you fucked up in the slightest. Do you know how many people you saved?”

You went to brush off his comment, but Derek didn’t let you get a word in. 

“I know your entire world got completely fucked over, but you were meant to be in BAU. You were supposed to be there. I cannot think of my life without you, I know Garcia can’t, and I know Emily would tear you a new one if you even brought up to her the possibility that you being in her life was a mistake.” 

“Yeah, and now I’m thirty, with a doctorate and a cat, and no idea what to do with my life.” 

“But you also just spent the last two years seeing the world–how many countries did you go to…”

You pursued your lips, trying to count in your head. A blush spread across your face as you mumbled the number. 

“Sorry, wanna repeat that for me?” 

“At least fifty…” 

“That’s what I thought.” A very proud look crossed Derek's face, smiling at you. 

You looked down at your left hand, fiddling with your ring finger. No matter how hard Derek tried, no matter how much you enjoyed his company and the way he was keeping your ego healthily inflated, you couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that you could have been married–you could have been happy. 

“He told me when he bought it.” 

Your eyes snapped to Derek’s, and he looked at you with such soft eyes. 

That was something you had always loved about Derek. No matter how much he cared for you, no matter how gently he was being, he never treated you like a piece of glass.

“He, uh, I was the only one he told.” 

You nodded, waiting for him to continue. 

“When did you find it?” 

“When I was moving my things out of the apartment.” 

“Damn…” 

“Yeah.” You laughed. It was colder than usual but still antagonistic at the whole situation. “I…um. I found it on the last day when I was cleaning out my bedside table. He knew I never went into the bottom drawer because I literally never kept anything in there, but I checked because, you know, I was asked to leave, and…there it was. It was just…It’s ironic, really, how perfect it was, too. They say that if a guy can’t get the ring right, then he’s not the one for you, but no one preps you on if it’s the perfect ring, perfect size, but you had just broken up two days before you found it…” 

Derek nodded, letting you ramble. 

“I feel like I’m being weighed down by a million different things, yet they’re all him.” 

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I have no fucking idea.” 

"Sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together." ~ Marilyn Monroe

Part 3

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Tags: @lilrios-world @gubzgirl @mynameisnotokay @hereforfun22-blog @yoursarahg @mega-kittyglitter-1 @onlyspence

[bamsara]

feel free to ignore this ask if it's too spoilery, but what kind of sibling relationship did narinder have with the other bishops before the betrayal?

was it more of a "i have a formal obligation to you since we're related" or "gods forbid you ask me for a singular corn chip, but i would kill someone for you"

Def the second one. Please pardon me because I'm about to ramble for a long minute.

The relationship between him and his siblings are very much built on sibling rivlerly but also care. They might have had spats about godhood and domains and spars with power, but they still supported each other and cared for each other; when you're an immortal god, really the only company you'll have in the end who understands you is your immortal siblings.

They will scold each other, help each other, tease and mock each other, maybe playfully sabotouge eachother, but they were eachothers family.

I've put some hints into it in my fic so I hope it's okay if I explain/point out some of them:

They helped each other with their domains and temples, respectivly, and sparred with one another, which is how I hc how Narinder is able to give The Lamb advice on how to fight them. They sqaubbled and bickered but it was all in care, and they had each other for eons.They were each other's support pillars.

At least back then. Now, there's a bitterness and resentment, not just between Narinder and the siblings but also the siblings themselves, possibly because of how the situation with Narinder went. Kallamar himself says to to kill Shamura and not him, and that it was not his idea to chain Narinder. Heket talks about grief and suffering:

Heket's ingame dialogue:

They both speak of suffering and grief. Possibly, suffering because of the pain sewn through the family when everything fell apart, and grief I can only imagine because they felt like they had to kill and/or chain their brother in the afterlife. Clearly there is love, or there used to be love in the family, and that love is lost or killed now. Suffering and grief. Resentment; because even after everything; Narinder, is STILL causing rifts and suffering for the family.

Kallamar's dialogue:

Kallamar is absolutley terrified of Narinder, his younger brother, who is the God of Death, and states that it was not his idea to chain him for his 'ideals'. Possibly because Narinder's crime was to create resurrection, to undo death, which would be wonderful for somone like Kallamar who is so deeply afraid of dying and suffers from cowardice. I imagine that Kallamar did not agree with his sibling's will to chain Narinder but didn't have the spine to go against them when Narinder threatened to unbalance everything. Thus; some resentment.

Shamura's ingame dialogue:

Shamura states that overtime Narinder grew discontent with being the limitations of Death. This is possibly when he began to look into creating the concept of resurrection, something that would reverse the 'absolute'. Possibly he would be very powerful with the ability to reverse death as many would seek that sort of safety. But it horrificly unbalances the nature of things.

How? The promise of Resurrection makes sacrifice and the fear of death useless.

Heket cannot control her followers with the promise of feasts or threats of famine if they can simply come back from death of starvation. Kallamar's followers would not fear disease or sickness if they were just going to revive after dying. Those who worship Shamura would not try to gain their favor for war, battle or knowledge if they were able to just resurrect if they lost. I'm not sure how it would affect Leshy's following, but I can imagine it's the same kind of outcome.

And still Shamura loved their brother, even aknowledging that they, the four siblings, were the ones to betray Narinder in the end. 'Of your own turned against you'.

It was Shamura that made the decision to chain Narinder in the underworld. It was Shamura who blames themselves for planting the idea of change, that something could be better, into Narinder's head, and it was Shamura who realized that the freedom of change that was allowed to themselves could not be allowed to Death himself, and made the other siblings join them to seal The One Who Waits away.

I'd like to think that the siblings each loved their family, at least before. There's resentment and bitterness now, hatred from betrayal and animosity between not just Narinder but possibly a little through the four siblings as well.

That being said, Shamura clearly still cares about Narinder or at least thinks back on him fondly in the dialogue of the blame. I'd like to think that there's grief like Heket says, and the others feel the same. They grieve him.

And in my story, I'd like to think that Narinder grieves them too.

So yeah. It was def 'a gods forbid you ask me for a singular corn chip, but i would kill someone for you' type of family, at least before it all went to hell.

[thenerdyindividual]

Rewatching A Crown of Candy had reminded me how much I hate Saccharina. She is such a well done character. Her expectations are completely out of line with reality. The Rocks family lost Jet less than two weeks before meeting Saccharina, and they’ve had no time to process their grief. They’ve been running for their lives for even longer with out any idea that Saccharina existed, and have had no time to come to terms with everything. Calroy, someone they cared about and trusted, was directly responsible for the state of affairs, including Jet’s death. There’s been no time to process a betrayal that profound. Ruby, Jet, and Liam went from being rambunctious teens to war guys, and they haven’t been able to figure out what that means for them.

Despite all that, Saccharina expects them to play happy families immediately because she’s known of them her entire life. Then, because of her background, she takes every instance of tension as a personal slight. There’s no consideration for what the Rocks have been through because she’s experienced pain too. She is so focused on the distance she feels with Ruby and Amethar, she ignores that the rest of the party has been welcoming to her. Theo gave his loyalty to her within minutes of meeting her. Cumulus bonds with her over Lazuli. Liam is… well he’s Liam. He’s an awkward guy with everyone, but he is welcoming to her too. Amethar is doing his best but Saccharina doesn’t consider that his struggles to bond with her have nothing to do with her. He lost a daughter and now is being asked to accept another daughter he didn’t know about on the heels of that loss. Ruby didn’t just lose her twin, she lost her best friend, but Saccharina expects Ruby to put aside her grief to welcome a new sister with open arms. Just a couple episodes before, Ruby is “warging into Yak so I don’t have to be in my fucking body” and saying she felt like she died the day Jet did. Yet when she tries to explain all of the grief and trauma to Saccharina, Saccharina’s response was “I was born with nothing”.

What makes all this so brilliant (besides Emily Axford’s rp and character choices) is how if the tables were turned, we’d hate the Rocks family. As @anarchycox pointed out, if this was a YA novel where we had been following Saccharina’s point of view, we’d hate Amethar and Ruby for not accepting Saccharina. We’d be raging and saying things like “She’s your daughter! You’re meant to love her, you asshole!” After everything Saccharina has been through, we’d be pissed that she couldn’t get a happy reunion. There would be no question that we were on Saccharina’s side.

It is the only time I’ve experienced feeling guilty about hating a character. Normally, when I hate a character it feels good to hate them. They’re a bad guy and it’s fun to tell them to go fuck themselves. Saccharina isn’t a bad guy, or even an antagonist. She’s is an ally, and a deeply flawed and wounded character.

I still hate her.

It’s brilliant. Emily Axford you’ve done it again.

[keanusbabydoll]

make up sex

paring: bellatrix lestrange x fem!reader

warnings: 18+ content, toxic relationship, smut, soft!bella, mentions of torture, fingering, slight overstimulation, cunnilingus, mommy kink, age gap relationship (reader is 18, bella is in her late 30s), softdom!bella

——————

and again you’re sitting in your room at the malfoy manor, balling out your eyes because of her. bellatrix lestrange. your girlfriend.

by now you’re not only crying because you’re sad, no. it’s the frustration and anger you feel towards her already. this is the fourth time now she completely ignored, taunted and even hurt you during a meeting with the death eaters and the dark lord of course. you simply can’t describe how angry all that makes you, neither do you understand her sick behavior.

in your opinion she’s too blended by the dark lord. it doesn’t matter what he asks of her, she won’t spend a single thought before doing it immediately. she practically follows him around like a fucking dog. and today it definitely went too far.

you became a death eater a few weeks ago and that not by wish. you were forced and it not only broke you but also affects your mental health badly. however, the dark lord has given you a task, which required to murder your best friends, ron and hermione, because they’re destroying his plan to kill harry potter. and obviously he chose you to act out the deed as you’re still attending hogwarts and you’re the closest to them from all death eaters.

but of course you couldn’t do it. you didn’t have the heart to kill your best friends. they’re practically like siblings to you and if you would have done it, you would have never recovered from that.

so, you didn’t follow the dark lords commands, and of course you knew that he would find out about it very quickly and that this wouldn’t end good. every death eater that doesn’t oblige the dark lord’s wishes, serves a harsh punishment. and today you were the one.

you begged him for forgiveness, promised him that something like that would never happen again. but he didn’t show mercy. and to make it even worse for you, he chose bellatrix to be the one to torture you. unfortunately he knows about your relationship and he knew that it would hurt you even more if bellatrix punishes you.

and you can’t explain how you felt in that moment. the betrayal, angst, anger, everything just came crashing down. the tears that were prickling in your eyes when bella stood up from her seat, went over to you and roughly threw you on the floor and cursed you with the torture spell, crucio, in front of everyone. and all that without hesitation. even narcissa, her sister, was shocked and tried to talk her out of it. but nothing made her change her mind, not even your cry’s and begs.

that really broke you. merlin, she’s your own fucking girlfriend. and it’s not like she doesn’t know that you hate the way she behaves towards you when you’re around voldemort. you guys had multiple arguments about that topic, where you told her how you felt and what you expect from her. but it seems like she never really took it seriously and just didn’t give a fuck about your opinion.

soft sobs leave your mouth and you hug your thighs tighter. you really don’t want to continue this way. you can’t bear all that any longer.

a loud knock on your door, pulls you out of your thoughts and look up. “what?” you ask with a shaky but annoyed voice. you honestly just want to be alone right now.

“baby, it’s me. i’m really sorry, can i please come in?” the sound of your girlfriends voice rings through your ears.

“no bella, go away.” you mumble before you burry your face in your knees again.

a frustrated sigh slips past your lips when you hear your door open. what does she not understand? you do not have the power to see her or speak to her right now.

you lift your head and start to cry again when you see her standing in front of you.

“just leave bella. i don’t want to talk to you.” you whisper, eyes pleading her to just listen to you once. but of course she doesn’t give you this satisfaction.

as she sees your red puffy eyes and swollen trembling lips, she immediately walks over to your side of the bed, sitting down next to you. even if it doesn’t seem like it, but seeing you in such a state breaks her. bella loves you more than anything, even when she doesn’t act like it directly.

“y/n, listen, i’m so sorry. i shouldn’t have done that.” she states, sadness latching from her voice. you just look at her with a blank stare, a chuckle almost threatening to leave your mouth.

“that’s what you always say bella.”

“no y/n, i mean it. really.” she places her wand down and scoots closer to you but before she can touch you, you shift further away from her. bella frowns in reply and looks at you with soft eyes.

you shake your head in disbelief, wipe your tears forcefully away and sit up straight. does she actually think you’re stupid? it’s always the same. she hurts you in any way possible, then she crawls back to you, apologizing and you idiot always forgive her. and then everything starts again. but not this time. you can’t and won’t put up with that any longer, simply because of the sake of your mental health.

with gritted teeth and hate filled eyes you turn your head to look at her. “do you really think that i’ll continue like this? don’t you notice that it’s always the same? and merlin, what the fuck have you thought bella. torturing me in front of everyone without any hesitation? me, your girlfriend? do you have any idea how i’m feeling?” you hiss at her sharply, not being able to contain your anger and frustration anymore.

you catch her face dropping at your words, a sad expression covers it now. she nervously fiddles with her fingers and looks down to her lap.

as she remains silent you huff out and turn to face the wall next to you. “just as i thought.” you whisper.

your brows furrow when you hear quiet sniffs next you. once again you turn around and are almost shocked when you see bellatrix crying. this is the first time ever you witness her crying. she was never one to show her feelings or her soft side, not even in your presence.

but nevertheless, she shouldn’t be the one who’s crying. you didn’t hurt her in any way. it was just her who failed to be a good girlfriend.

her glossy eyes wander up to yours and she pouts. “please y/n i beg you. forgive me one more time. i promise you, i’ll never do something like that again. see, i talked with narcissa because i didn’t know what to do. i feel so fucking awful for how i treated you and i realize that all just now. how much you really mean to me. you’re the only person i ever truly loved and i hate myself for being such a bitch towards you. please, i’ll make it up to you.” the witch pours out her heart, completely vulnerable right now.

when you don’t reply she shoots up and grabs your hand before you can snatch it away.

“please say something baby. i love you.” her voice is barley above a whisper and you close your eyes for a second. seeing her in such a form and hearing her talking in that way kind of shocks you. as mentioned before, you never saw her in that manner before. and to be honest you think that she actually means it this time. or else she wouldn’t be acting like this.

“it’s okay bella, i get it. but please, don’t you ever do something like that again. i’m serious.” you finally answer her, voice much softer and understanding now.

bellatrix’s eyes lighten up in happiness and relief and she almost squeals out.

“thank you baby. i can’t tell you how sorry i am.” the witch pulls you into a hug and squeezes you tightly. you smile in reply and hug her back. doesn’t matter what she does, she’ll always make you happy and smile. she’s the woman you love.

bella pulls away from your embrace and stares at you with sparkling eyes. “but let me make it up to you. please.”

you smirk at her, knowing exactly what she’s referring to. “yes… mommy.” is all you have to say before she almost jumps on top of you and gets herself comfortable on your lap. she brushes a few strands of your hair behind your ears and puts her hands on your cheeks before smashing her lips on yours. your hands grip her waist as you return each of her kisses with equal favor. as a moan slips past your lips, bella doesn’t hesitate and sticks her tongue into your mouth, exploring every bit of it with her tongue.

the both of you fight for dominance, which bella wins with no question. a muffled whine comes from her as he starts to grind her hips against yours, your clothed clits rubbing against each other deliciously. your core starts to ache already, needing to feel more of her. with a moan you break the kiss and breath out. “i need you bella, please.”

she grins at you wickedly and leans over to grab her wand from the bedside table. with a wave of her wrist, all your clothes are gone in a blink of an eye. “whatever you want kitten.” she purrs before she tosses her wand away again and bends down to suck on your neck. you quietly whimper out as she licks on your soft skin. slowly, her lips wander down to your collarbone and to the swell of your breasts, leaving a trail of purple turning hickies. when her mouth finally wraps around your right nipple and her hands roam over your whole body, your heart skips a beat.

it doesn’t matter how many times you have sex, you always get excited at the thought of her pleasuring you and feeling her cold hands on you.

your fingers tangle in her hair and you slightly lift your hips trying to sign her that you need to feel her on your pussy. obviously she gets it, but she takes her time with you, worshipping your whole body. bella’s hands caress your curves, memorizing every inch of her beloved’s body.

the witch releases your hardened bud before she focuses her attention on your other one, gently licking it, then biting down on it harshly, eliciting a sharp hiss from you. “bellaaa! please.”

she pulls away from your nipple and looks up at you with a smirk. “my little impatient pet.” she chirps. her hands start to knead and squeeze your tits harshly while she gets off your lap and settles in right between your plush thighs. her tongue licks its way down your belly, loving the taste of your skin. her hands follow her tongue and they wrap around the inside of your thighs, pushing them open as wide as possible.

you let out a frustrated sigh and throw your head back. if she doesn’t fuck you now any minute you’ll go insane, your walls are already clenching around nothing, desperately wanting to feel her long fingers pushing them open.

without you knowing, bellatrix just read your thoughts and chuckles darkly to herself. before even completely realizing it -too lost in your own thoughts- , the witch lines up two of her fingers with your already wet dripping entrance and pushes them knuckle deep inside of you with ease. a surprised whine falls from your lips as you finally get to feel her. the world outside ceased to exist, leaving only the two of them and the overwhelming lust they're feeling.

“you’re so wet baby.” she almost groans out, as she scissors her fingers against your warm, velvety walls, just loving the feeling of them.

“just for you mommy.” you reply breathlessly and prop up on your elbows, making eye contact with your girlfriend.

without breaking your intense stare, bella begins to slowly pump her fingers in and out of your hole, not daring to give any attention to that special spot, intentionally teasing you. you huff out and throw your head back in annoyance. “i thought you wanted to make it up to me.”

“who said i didn’t?” she taunts you with an evil grin.

you look back down at her, opening your mouth to say something but before you are able to let out a single word, she suddenly curls up her fingers, pressing them hard into your sweet spot. your breathing stocks at the jolts of pleasure this is sending through your body and you whimper out.

bella smirks to herself proudly as she starts to roughly thrust up her fingers against that spot that makes you see stars. a loud whine rings in bella's ears, making her go just faster in reply. she looks up at you with hungry eyes, loosing herself completely as she watches you fall to pieces just because of her. there's nothing else she loves more than pleasing you and seeing you quiver under her. you are hers and only hers.

the squelching sounds and the intense smell of hot passionate sex that fills the room, makes your mind spinning, loosing yourself in the pleasure she's giving to you.

"look at you, taking it so good for mommy." your girlfriend moans out as she starts to kiss up and down the inside of your thigh, her aggressive pace never stopping. you barely nod your head in reply, as your eyes wander further down to where she's pounding your poor cunt in an inhuman way.

her face distances from your plush flesh and she sends you one last mischievous look before she dips down her head for her tongue to lick a slow strip up your folds to your sensitive bud with a small hum. that simple contact on your clit makes your whole body shudder and you have to lay back down. you feel her smile against your pussy because of your reaction and lets the tip of her tongue flick expertly over your small bundle of nerves. you press your eyes tightly shut and whimper out at the intense sensation.

with the intense thrusting of her fingers and the indescribable feeling on your clit, you can feel your orgasm slowly build up. bella notices this as well, simply because of your body language and how hard your walls are clamping down on her digits. your whines and cry’s rattle against the black colored moans and your left hand grips the duvets beneath you tightly, needing something to hold onto.

the witch lifts her head from your in spit glistening cunt and admires her work for a second. the loss of contact makes you look up to her and your breath stocks a for a moment when you see her spitting on your pussy, before capturing your clit again.

“oh my god, bella!” a scream leaves you mouth as you’re on the verge of cumming, your abdomen tickling deliciously. bella hums feverishly against your cunt in reply, sending shock waves through your whole body.

“i’m gonna cum!” you sharply spit out, arching your back off the bed in ecstasy. again, she hums approvingly and with her free hand, bellatrix holds one of your thighs spread open, before she suddenly starts to suck on your clit uncontrollably, sending you straight over the edge. a deafening noise falls from your lips as you feel your orgasm crash through your whole form.

your girlfriend fucks you roughly through your orgasm, letting you ride it out to its highest. you let out a string of whimpers in discomfort as bella continues to stimulate you, even after your orgasm already faded, the intense feeling being too much.

“please stop bella.” you choke out and begin to trash around uncomfortably.

she lets out a muffled chuckle before she finally pulls away from your shaking form, sliding her fingers out of you slowly.

you close your eyes, trying hard to catch your breath while you lay there completely still, body aching from your intense fuck.

“oh you did so good my little pet. so, so good.” bella praises you in a high pitched voice, planting kisses on your lower belly and thighs. you smile at her being such a sweetheart with you, usually she wouldn’t be that soft, but you’re her exception. only you.

bella removes herself from your thighs and crawls up to you, pressing her body to yours. you turn to your side to take a proper look at her, admiring her beautiful features.

you both lay there in comfortable silence, her hand caressing your exposed skin lovingly and she whispers sweet little nothings into your ear. "I love you y/n. I promise that we'll get through all this. together."

"I know. I love you too." you whisper, snuggling closer to her.

a soft hum leaves her, before the both of you drift off in a deep slumber.

[leighlew3]

Overall, Agatha All Along was a nice watch.

I struggled to connect with a couple of the characters due to some of the writing, including William/Billy which made things a tad difficult as he was so central to the plot and reveal tbh, but oh well. The cast were ALL great in their roles though.

Overall -- I dug the show.

Felt at first like there was a lot more emotional depth to mine from and they only sort of scratched the surface in exchange for an easy to digest 'fun' tale for the casual Marvel viewer for most of the show, but they really got deep with it in the last three eps, to my surprise and enjoyment.

Sooo yeah, Agatha really is a tragic figure and sympathetic "villain".

If I'm remembering her backstory correctly (sorry, been a bit distracted with a lot of work and life stuff while watching this show and am trying to remember the specifics set up in WandaVision) -- her awful mother basically created a self-fulfilling prophecy, ffs.

Believing Agatha was incapable of good (we've seen otherwise) and thinking she had to DIE for the supposed betrayal of her coven by practicing dark magic.. it simply set in motion BY her mother. The series of events that pushed Agatha to go dark and fight back in order to survive after her own mother ignored her desperate pleas to spare her as she burned alive...

Everything Agatha did after that, while yes it was her own choosing at the end of the day, was ultimately the result of that trauma and hate for fellow witches. The ironic price she had to pay for seeking to take as much power as possible after hers was threatened by her own mother and fellow witches -- was her own child. So basically, she was harmed -- and she harmed back. Not okay, but empathy makes you try to at last understand why she did what she did and feel bad for what she went through, even if it's not an excuse for her actions. But either way, had to suffer for it. It's sorta like someone sucker punches you, so you knock 'em out cold, and then YOU go to jail. Sigh.

Also, it's petty tragic that the only genuine love she's ever known was Rio (death herself). And it seems they produced a child together (?) whom she then tragically lost. It's just irony and tragedy wrapped in irony and tragedy. Sad shit.

Anyway, I'm glad to see "Agathario" was full canon, however tragic (for now) their "ending" was. Hopeful for further exploration of them in the future. But for now, for Marvel/Disney of all companies to be the one to allow a LEAD sapphic ship with a complicated history and dark dynamics to be a canon thing? Surprising, and kudos.

[katerina-marie]

Don't Go Slowly, Tell Me If You're Lonely (Series)

Chapter 6 (Final)

Gojo Satoru x Reader & (Past) Geto Suguru x Reader

Your relationship with Geto Suguru came to an end somewhere between the day of his betrayal and the day of his death. Your relationship with Gojo Satoru began somewhere in the midst of it all, even without you realizing.

WC: 5.6k

Content: Canon Divergence, Gojo x Female Reader (referred to as such but left descriptively vague), (past) Geto Suguru x Female Reader, Geto's canonical death, friends to lovers, angst, eventual happy ending, fluff, reader is a sorcerer (left vague tho), no use of y/n, vaginal sex (though not super explicit) so please avoid accordingly! More notes below.

Chapter Count: Chp 1, Chp 2, Chp 3, Chp 4, Chp 5, Chp 6 (Final)

Notes: Snippets, milestones, and a happy ending for a character that deserves it.

Chapter 6: In This Sepulcher By the Sea, All That's Left is You and Me (There’s a Hand Being Held Out)

The twinkling of red and gold lights reflected onto the floor-to-ceiling windows of Satoru’s apartment and for how high it was in the sky, they certainly made it look like the stars could be on fire.

Or maybe that was the wine talking. 

A jazzy holiday carol played over speakers tucked into corners you had yet to find, and you hummed along with the tune as you picked up stray cups and leftover plates while Satoru offered goodbyes at the door to the last lingering guests. The hour was late, and after a whole evening dedicated to celebrating the holiday with a gathering of friends and students hosted by you and Satoru, you were more than ready to fall into bed and sleep the night away. 

The party had been intentional, an idea brought to life by both you and your boyfriend in an effort to move past the sting of grief on the anniversary of Suguru’s death (the second year now, and the first in your new relationship with Satoru). To your surprise, it worked. Drinks flowed easily between those old enough, and the students enjoyed their ability to indulge in nice food that they didn’t have to pay for—courtesy of Satoru’s credit card. Gifts were exchanged between one another, merriment was made, and everyone gagged accordingly everytime Satoru caught you under the mistletoe he kept moving strategically around his apartment. 

At the end of the night, when Kugasaki and Itadori were fast asleep in a pile on Megumi’s lap while Panda and Inumaki made sure to capture the scene with photos for posterity’s sake, Nanami and Shoko had cornered you and Satoru in the kitchen. You couldn’t have called it reminiscing, nor would you have said it was a wish for what could have been, but the four of you took a quiet moment to remember a friend as he once was before stowing away the thought for the next year. Afterwards, once the students had been roused and ushered out the door, Shoko and Nanami said their farewells. 

“I’m glad you found your happiness,” Shoko had said, and the fondness of her smile told you that she knew happiness for you came in the form of white hair and blue eyes. 

“You deserve peace,” Nanami had told Satoru while pressing a hand to his shoulder and offering a subtle grin in your direction. All three of you politely ignored the tears that gathered in Satoru’s eyes before he brushed them away. 

“Well,” Satoru called, wiping his hands against one another as he met you in the kitchen, “it’s just you and me now.” 

You met his eyes with a tired smile on your face as you remained elbow deep in his sink in order to wash the last remaining dishes before the two of you retired for the night. Satoru came up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist and lay himself against your back. The weight of him was heavy, but the kisses he pressed into your shoulder were light and full of gratitude, so you let him stay. 

“I think everything went quite well, don’t you?” you asked. Satoru made a noise of affirmation and sighed happily into your neck. “But maybe cool it with the mistletoe next year.” 

He jerked back at that. “I’m not putting any out ever again.” His voice was petulant, and you shot him an amused look over your shoulder as you shook the soap from your hands and reached for a dish towel to dry them on. 

“You know Nanami never would have kissed me,” you assured him, “and vice versa.” Satoru still shook his head adamantly, and you giggled at him from where you had turned to lean back against the counter.

“No sense in leaving things to chance,” he said blithely. “Even if it was an accident and neither of you had realized where the two of you were standing.” 

“Well maybe don’t move it around so much that we all lose track of it, Satoru.” Your boyfriend rolled his eyes, clearly dismissing whatever insinuation you made that you and Nanami being caught unaware under mistletoe was his fault, but he scurried away nonetheless when you swatted him with the dish towel still in your hands. 

“Ready for bed?” Satoru asked once you had put away your makeshift weapon, and you nodded eagerly as you trotted after him to his bedroom. You each hurried through your nighttime routine, barely putting in the effort to do more than brush your teeth, and after slipping into an oversized t-shirt, you made a running leap for Satoru’s bed. You had just managed to huddle yourself under the blankets and curl your knees into your chest when you felt the edge of the bed beside you dip under Satoru’s weight. You peeked your head out and watched carefully as he held out his palm to you. 

“Spare me a moment?” 

You nodded and took his hand in yours so he could help you sit up against the pillows at the head of the bed. While you crossed your ankles over each other, Satoru stretched out one long leg to brace against the floor and then tucked the other under his thigh. He looked pensive, but not troubled, and you waited patiently for him to speak as his gaze unfocused on some point beyond you. 

“I felt like I could finally take a deep breath today,” Satoru said, and while the words came out halted, his tone was steady. “I didn’t spend every minute reminded that I had killed my best friend. It was there in the back of my mind, sure, but I didn’t feel the memory of it breathing down my neck…so thank you. You helped turn the day into something bearable, and gave me a hope for years coming that I won’t always view this date as the worst day of my life.” 

You felt pinpricks in the back of your eyes, and the breathy laugh that came out of you carried the faintest echoes of a sob. “Today was as much for you as it was me,” you told him, reaching out your hand to rub it over his knee and Satoru was quick to cover it with one of his. He was quiet, but nodded his head and you wondered what was occupying space in his mind that would render him close to mute when he was usually anything but. 

“I love you,” he said simply after a minute of silence. There was no consternation furrowing his brow, nor did his fingers drum against the back of your hand unbidden. His expression was light and unburdened while his voice sounded sure and unequivocal. You realized then that his declaration of love did not hinge on your reciprocation, and that his feelings for you would remain unchanged no matter what answer awaited him. The thought had you smiling and leaning into Satoru so you could press your lips against his because you were powerless to feel anything else for him but love in return. The fact that it came softly in the low light of his room made it feel as though your heart could float away.

Satoru, Satoru, Satoru. 

“I love you too.” 

————————————————

Springtime always seemed to bring with it a renewed sense of energy and a particular level of mischievousness that took over the minds of your shared students. If Megumi wasn’t taking his technique to the near extreme everytime an outcome presented itself that wouldn’t lend in his favor, then Itadori was around every corner eating something he shouldn’t, and Kugisaki was inevitably providing humorous—albeit unhelpful—commentary on everything in the background. In short, your students had you, Satoru, and Nanami running very close to ragged in your attempts to keep them alive and in proper training on a day to day basis. 

The three of you would routinely count down the minutes until the weekend would arrive and the students would unleash themselves on the unassuming public now that the weather was warming up. Once they went on their merry way for a day off campus, Nanami would flee to his own home, muttering something about a vacation on a beach far away, and you and Satoru would hole yourselves up in your room, unable to feel comfortable venturing far from the school when you knew of the student’s penchant for trouble. So while your room on campus may not have been as roomy, or comfortable, or luxurious as Satoru’s city apartment, it served its purpose well enough that neither of you minded. At least, that was true until its general lack of privacy would come into question on a lazy Saturday evening. 

You had discovered in your time together that lounging in bed with Satoru could only carry on innocently for so long before one of you was putting a hand or mouth somewhere decidedly not innocent. Fleeting touches turned heavy, clothes found their way to the floor, and your boyfriend had your ankles locked behind his back so quickly it made your head spin. Mindful of the fact that your room was still subject to the ears of occasional passerbyers, you muffled your moans into Satoru’s shoulder while he shoved a pillow in between your headboard and wall lest you make it very clear what was taking place. Besides the yelp that escaped you when Satoru bit down just slightly too hard on your neck or when he groaned your name a touch too loud as you clenched around him, any tell tale sign that the two of you were occupied with each other remained unnoticed and you whispered his name in anticipation of what was to come. 

That was, until, a stampede of footfalls could be heard down the hallway approaching your room, and suddenly the first years were banging on your door in a frenzy while shouting incomprehensibly over one another. Satoru’s look of pure bliss transformed into one of horror above you, and you slapped a hand over his mouth for no particular reason when Itadori shouted your name. 

“Have you seen Gojo-sensei?!” You gaped at Satoru, unsure of exactly what to do or say, and while it wasn’t your first choice, nothing except lying through your teeth presented itself as a viable option. 

“I, uh, have no idea!” you called, hoping the higher than normal pitch of your voice wasn’t as noticeable through the wall and door. “Is something wrong?” 

There was a beat of silence when all noise stopped before Itadori blurted out a very unconvincing “no.” You flailed your hands at Satoru in a panic before letting them land on his shoulders so you could shove him off of you, but he gave an insistent shake of his head. While you knew he wouldn’t consider doing anything inappropriate in front of your students, you had an inkling that he was determined to stay nestled inside of you in the desperate hope they would wander off to find him and let the two of you finish. 

“Well,” you said, swallowing nervously, “if you give me a couple minutes to get ready, I can, uh, help you find him?” You cringed at the way your words came out unsure and slightly guilty, but the students didn’t seem to care as they deliberated something in hushed voices. Satoru was still braced on his hands atop you, and the fool had the gall to let out a chortle at your misfortune.

“I’ll call him,” Megumi sighed, sounding very much put out as Itadori and Kugisaki continued to argue behind him. You didn’t think anything of it, as Satoru’s phone hadn’t been ringing the entire time from where it lay in the heap of clothes by your bed, and—

“I think I’m one of the contacts he has allowed to bypass his do not disturb setting.” Megumi’s tone was full of disappointment, and Satoru’s eyes bulged in a way that would have been comedic in any other circumstance. In an effort to get to his phone and turn it off, you untangled yourself from Satoru and lunged halfway off the bed to swipe for his pants, but alas, time was not on your side and his ringtone blared through your room, unable to go unnoticed by anyone in the vicinity. The outside chatter from the students immediately ceased, and you stared dejectedly at the floor before Satoru looped an arm around your ribs to lift you back up and into the bed. 

“We’ll just give you guys a couple minutes.” Kugisaki’s voice was smug and all knowing when the silence was broken a few moments later, and you slapped your hands over your eyes as white hot embarrassment swept through you. When the footsteps of the students finally faded down the hall, Satoru pulled your hands away from your face, and you were met with his slightly sheepish but thoroughly amused grin. You scowled at him in response and yanked your wrists from his grip so you could throw yourself out of the bed and begin dressing yourself. 

“I have to get an apartment now,” you muttered, eyes wide in disbelief as you stepped into your pants. “I can’t live here anymore, and I have to move out. I’m sure I can find something close to the school…” The strained laughter that left your lips was borderline maniacal, and the way Satoru was reclined back against your pillows (with a sheet draped precariously low on his hips) in a perfect display of nonchalance had your eye twitching. 

“If that’s what you want,” he sing-songed. There was something contemplative in his eyes however, but you were too pent up in anxiety and sexual frustration to bother with it, and you merely scooped up his shirt from the floor to pelt him in the face with it. 

“Just get dressed,” you hissed. 

Later, after hours were spent assisting the students in cleaning up a mess that, thankfully, hadn’t incurred significant property damage to the school or required Shoko’s healing abilities, you and Satoru made your way back to your room to recoup the energy lost from the day. If you ignored the way Kugisaki tittered and Megumi’s nose pinched up in barely veiled disgust while Itadori remained blissfully unaware, you would have sworn that they were grateful for your help. But really it mattered not, because from the tightness of Satoru’s jaw, you knew that the three of them were set for a grueling week of training once Monday came around. 

With little bandwidth left for anything other than falling into a deep sleep, you ignored Satoru’s pouting face and his clear wish to continue off where your time together earlier had abruptly ended, batting away his wandering hands as you changed into your pajamas and buried yourself under your blankets. After a couple minutes of huffing and puffing around your room while he readied himself for bed, Satoru eventually made his way next to you. He whispered something next to your ear about an errand he had to run in the morning, but you were already halfway asleep and fully unbothered. 

So, when you woke up and your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen, you shrugged off any concern for Satoru’s whereabouts and went about your routine. You wouldn’t deny enjoying a morning to yourself without his nose in your neck or his chattering filling every ounce of silence that came upon you two, but as you sat against your pillows sipping on a hot drink and half-heartedly attention to the book in your hands, you started to miss him. When the next thirty minutes went by without a peep from your phone, you reached for it begrudgingly, ready to call him and demand he return. However, a knock at your door interrupted you, and you heard Satoru yelling your name from the other side of it. 

“Just close your eyes before you open the door!” he called. The enthusiasm in his voice this early in the morning had you questioning whether or not you really wanted to do as he said and entertain whatever shenanigans he had gotten himself into, but when your name left his mouth again, you supposed you didn’t really have a choice. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” you drawled, casting your eyes up to the ceiling in a silent request for patience before making your way to the door. 

“Are you eyes closed?” Satoru asked just as you set your hand on the knob.

You snapped them shut. “They are now.” With a little push from his end once you had twisted the knob, the door opened and you shuffled backwards as Satoru made his way inside. He kicked it shut with his foot, and you heard him digging in his pants pocket before he came to a stop in front of you. You stood there unmoving, eyes still closed, and part of you was genuinely curious as to what he was possibly up to. 

“Okay! You can open them.” 

When you blinked against the brightness of your room, you found Satoru standing in front of you with both arms raised. He held an empty box in one hand and a small shiny key in the other. His blindfold laid loosely around his neck, and the wide grin on his face crinkled the corners of his eyes. 

“We’ll obviously need more boxes than just this one,” he said, his words slipping out with barely a breath between them, “and you don’t actually need a key to get into my apartment since there’s a keypad, but I think you get the symbolism behind it regardless.” Satoru pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and the way he squirmed in place ever so slightly while you observed him was endearing and boyish all at the same time. 

“You want me to move in with you?” The question came out hesitantly, but Satoru’s eyes softened when he saw the smile stretch slowly over your lips. 

“Well, you said last night you wanted to move out from here, and while I know my place isn’t exactly close to the school, the student’s have to learn to get around without us proctoring their entire existence, and so I thought now was as good of a time as any.” He finished with a bashful shrug, and you reached out to take the key from his open palm to twirl it between your fingers before curling it into your fist and pressing it against your chest. 

“I’d like that.” 

————————————————

Octobers were always one of your favorite times of the year. The last dredges of the summer heat were swept away by the stirrings of an autumnal breeze, and you waited impatiently for the fall foliage to blanket the hillsides in swaths of rich color. You spent every moment you could soaking in the crispness of the air, and Satoru would watch with obvious adoration everytime you trailed a bit slower in your walks around the school or on your weekend errands to glean just an extra minute or two outside. When he announced on a random Wednesday that the next day’s training was to be canceled in favor of a day out, you weren’t sure who was more excited about a day off—you or the students. 

With no intention to waste the day, you and Satoru woke up that morning and packed a thick down blanket, a bottomless bag of snacks, and a book or two for each of you. You raised a questioning brow at Satoru when he appeared from your shared closet wearing a jacket over this already thick sweater, but you quickly shrugged it off, recalling how he always complained about not running nearly as warm as you. When he declared himself ready, you grabbed him by the wrist to pull him out your front door so you could begin your trek out of the city. 

An hour’s commute later found the two of you at a scantily-populated park just a mile’s exit off the road. You had jogged ahead into the grass to find a secluded spot nestled at the mouth of a bunching of trees a stone’s throw away, barely heeding Satoru’s call for you to wait up for him as he lugged all your provisions in his arms. You gave him an apologetic grin and batting of your lashes once he caught up with you, but you knew he could in no way be cross with you over something so trivial and the soft kiss pressed to your forehead was evidence enough. 

Once the blanket had been settled over the grass and the first round of snacks had been picked clean, the two of you spread out, each with a book in hand. When you stretched back on one arm, Satoru laid his head in your lap. After some time, when your muscles started to ache, you rolled over onto your belly to cradle your book in front of you while Satoru rested his cheek in the small of your back. Halfway through your novel, you flopped onto your side and bunched up one corner of the blanket to prop up your head. Satoru must have tired of his own literary adventure at that point and instead chose to wiggle himself between your arms to tuck his nose against your chest and doze into the afternoon. Contented, you continued reading on. The occasional breeze rustled the branches above you, and every now and then a pair of birds would coo back and forth to each other. You could feel the warm puffs of Satoru’s breathing against your skin, and every once in a while the fingers he had slipped under your shirt would twitch lightly against your back before going still again. If he happened to mutter nonsense in his sleep or let out the infrequent snore, you made a mental note of it to tease him with at a later point. 

Eventually, your body would no longer tolerate lying on hard ground, and your stomach rumbled in a way that was becoming uncomfortable. Setting your book down, you gently shook Satoru awake and his eyes popped open as he let out a sleepy little grunt. 

“I’m hungry,” you told him, swiping a thumb against the pink-hued indention your collarbone must have left on his forehead, and he blinked up at you before sitting up rather quickly. 

“Was I asleep that long?” he asked, turning his head back and forth to scan the rest of the open park and then squint up at the sun that had just passed high noon. You chuckled at the perplexed look on his face, noticing how he seemed just the slightest bit jittery, and then pushed yourself to your feet so you could raise your hands far above your head to stretch out your body. 

“About two hours,” you said, glancing down at Satoru as your arms flopped back against your sides, and you relished in the languidness that now ran through your muscles. “Don’t worry about it though.” You shrugged and turned away from him to bend down and rummage through your bag of snacks for something to tide you over until you got back home. “You must have needed it.” Satoru didn’t say anything back, so you continued to pick through various bags of chips and granola bars that didn’t sound nearly as appetizing as you wanted. Once you had settled on an option for each of you, you turned back to Satoru only to let out a small gasp and drop the snacks from your hand at the sight of him down on one knee before you. 

His hand was held out, and nestled in a black leather box was a ring that gleamed in the sun. The sight he made was certainly unexpected in the moment, but it wasn’t as if you had envisioned anything else for the two of you, and the sheer emotion of it happening then had tears welling in your eyes. 

“I meant to do this earlier,” Satoru confessed. The apples of his cheeks pinkened and you suddenly understood why he had seemed so flustered moments ago. “I intended to take you on a walk or something of the sort, but I fell asleep, and I can’t let us leave here without accomplishing what I had intended.” A wet laugh tumbled from your lips, and you pressed your knuckles against them as Satoru gazed up at you with eyes wide in beseeching adoration. 

“Marry me, please,” he breathed, and the ring box trembled once in his hand. “I promise to never be too much for you, or to ask for more than you can give. All I need is a sliver of your attention. Just a small sign of your affection in my direction will do.”

As if you would ever offer him anything other than your complete and utter devotion. You were whole-heartedly prepared to spend the rest of your life pouring every ounce of it you could into him, an easy task when you knew that Satoru would return it ten-fold, ensuring mutual happiness. And what summation of words could thoroughly enough explain all that his question meant other than—,

“Yes.” 

————————————————

December 24

When you woke up, there was a chill in the air. It wasn’t something to be strictly blamed on the winter weather, and no amount of layered clothing or steaming water trapped in a marble shower would serve to chase it away. It drove you to your closet where you dressed for a walk. You slipped on your engagement ring because it was a part of you now. When you stepped through the opening of the hallway that presented you to the living area, you spotted Satoru leaning against your kitchen island already similarly dressed. He lifted his arm when you approached him, palm up and fingers outstretched, and it was an invitation, a beckoning, a tether to guide you to a place you only half-heartedly wanted to go. You took it and didn’t let his hand go unless required for brief moments of movement. 

You did release it when you and Satoru made it to your destination, a mutual untangling of limbs as you each took a respective seat on the cold ground. You curled your legs under you at the foot of Suguru’s grave to watch as Satoru kneeled by the stone at the front to rip away overgrown blades of grass and brush off a fine layer of dust. If either of you spoke, it was done silently, somewhere in the jumble of your minds where you tried to make sense of everything you wanted to say. 

Because nothing about that situation would ever be so cut and dry, easily condensed and plainly understood. It would stand to say that neither of you owed the world a response that was any sorts of sensible or well organized. If finalizing all that Suguru was into one encompassing emotion would make you unable to balance the enormity of it, then perhaps there was a better suited alternative to having him so well defined.

 When the two of you parted ways from the patch of brown grass and naked branches, each new foot of distance garnered a different flicker of emotion from you both: a yearning for what once was, but desolation for this new future that never would have been otherwise; a deep sense of loss that could only be built on top of but never filled in; equanimity for the thought that Suguru offered his blessing; a zeal for the life with a person present and well loved. 

There was relief in that there was no need to understand it all to move forward, and peace at knowing you didn’t. 

————————————————

You wed Satoru on a hill overlooking the sea at the beginning of a golden summertime. 

Friends, students, peers, and family are gathered to celebrate, and at the end of a flowered path, Satoru stands tall under an archway dripping in gauzy fabric nearly the same white as your dress. 

 It’s just you on your walk to him. There’s no one supporting your arm to give you away. You suppose that it had been done once already, in a time when you wouldn’t have agreed or had the capability to picture a life with someone else entirely. Your hand had already been given and exchanged, entrusted to another in a dead man’s final wish. So no, you don’t need anyone to accompany you down a flower-strewn path, not when every step you take lands in time to a heart that beats the name of the man in front of you (never again for a love since buried) and not when you were already entirely his. Not when the decision belonged only to you and him. 

You reach the archway, and Satoru is there waiting for you. 

His arm lifted, palm upwards and his fingers—,

There’s a hand being held out, and it no longer strikes you with remorse. On a rare night, it will appear in your nightmares to torment you with memories long past, but the balm of warm skin and the lips of someone you love will be there to whisk it away before it has a chance to linger.

There’s a hand being held out, and in it are all the dreams and promises you had once buried under the shade of canopied trees.

Gojo Satoru is holding his hand out to you, and you take it.

A Little Bonus:

“Did we really have to get up this early?” you asked around a yawn. You could blame your exhaustion on any number of things: the hours-long flight you and Satoru took yesterday, the night of newlywed activities in your hotel afterwards, or your general disdain for early mornings without a proper night’s rest. The sun still painted the sky a mix of orange and pink, and there was hardly a car or person to pass by. 

“We can go back to the hotel and take a nap before our next flight this evening,” Satoru said, swinging your intertwined hands together as the two of you strolled down a sidewalk. “Besides, it was you that insisted we have a layover here for this exact reason.” His following grin was cheeky, and when you scrunched up your nose in annoyance, he tugged you against him to press a kiss to your temple as you turned the corner of an old red brick building.

“I know, I know,” you grumbled. You had been adamant when planning your honeymoon that the two of you would stop briefly in the city home to a sleepy old cafe with the best dessert either of you had ever tasted, and your fiancé—now husband—was eager to give in to any whim of yours. 

When the two of you finally stepped through the cafe doors at a time when many had not yet stirred from their beds, you were met with well-worn red brown booths and vintage jazz music still spilling out from the kitchen. No one was waiting to greet you, and you turned to Satoru with a concerned look when the same old woman shuffled out of the back, a cane in hand but still spry in her eyes and smile.

“I recognize you!” she called, and it warmed your heart to be remembered by someone who’s encounter with you was so significantly fleeting. However, when her eyes slid to Satoru, all good will fell clean off her face. 

“And I unfortunately remember you too,” she groused, eyes cutting and full of contempt for your husband as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, but he had his trademark smirk on his face in an attempt to charm her displeasure away. 

Surprised curiosity sent your eyebrows up to your hairline, and you opened your mouth to inquire about what exactly Satoru had done to deserve such ire, but the old woman was already making her way back to the kitchen as she waved her hand behind her head. “Your usual table is free.”

“What was that about?” you asked him as he pulled you along to the corner table by a large window overlooking the street. Satoru shook his head as the two of you sat down in the booth across from one another, and he laughed nervously as he settled himself in the seat.

“It’s really nothing important,” he muttered, cheeks slightly pink, and you wondered if you pestered him enough—or propositioned him thoroughly—if he would talk. The next fifteen minutes would prove you unsuccessful in getting Satoru to divulge his secrets, and you were about to start bargaining when the old woman returned with a large plate balanced on her hand.

“Despite the questionable company you keep,” she told you, taking note of the gleaming wedding rings on both your hands as she sat down the plate heaping with your favorite fruit, “I’m glad you made it back, especially with someone to share your dessert with.” She didn’t give you an opportunity to ask questions before she was walking away with a knowing grin on her wrinkled cheeks. 

“You have to tell me,” you insisted, passing a spoon to Satoru and then picking up your own to begin digging into the dessert, but he sighed heavily and chose to stuff his mouth instead of responding to you. You let it go for now, figuring there would be plenty of time to wring it out of him when the scales were more tipped in your favor, and instead you tucked your foot around his ankle and reached out your empty hand to trace errant shapes along the back of his. 

---------------------------------------------

That's it y'all!

This was mostly a personal project for myself. I hadn't ever written anything (besides the Sukuna series) before this, so I very much appreciate everyone who took time to read and comment! I hope you were able to enjoy it <3

Taglist: @paprikaquinn & @kafanizdakicokiyi

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: If This Is Love, You Need To Prove It {2}

Title: If This Is Love, You Need To Prove It {2}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Heavy Angst, Plot Heavy, LOTS OF WORDS, Heartbreak, Cursing, 

Words: 9.1k

Summary: The fall out of Lewis’ actions is real, as is the freeze out. You’re fuming but brokenhearted. Not only do you feel like a fool, but you also feel used. Moving on is the only option, but Lewis doesn’t want to move on—or that’s what his actions say. 

Note: Part 2 is here! The plot thickens. 

Note II: Italicized text is a flashback/memory or someone’s words all from some time in the past.

As always, thank you all so much for reading. I truly appreciate it!

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Previous: If This Is Love, I Don’t Want It {1}

~~~~~~

“Listen to your gut about men. Your gut is never wrong.”

Your mother’s sage old advice echoed in your head. It had been one of the many lessons she’d voice recorded for you before her untimely death when you were just shy of your 18th birthday.

You’d always wondered what had motivated her to write letters and record videos for you dropping wise words, encouragement, mantras, sweet stories and other things of the sort. You often wondered if she knew she was not going to be around in the future.

 Your soft cries turned into loud wails then. Raising the bottle of dark liquor to your lips, you chugged two mouthfuls then cried from the burn. It was just another added pain onto the others you carried. It had been two days since the events at Lewis’ house. Two days you’d locked yourself in one of your family’s vacation homes off the coast of Monaco. Two days you’d been surviving on dark liquor, chocolate, ice-cream and oxygen. Two days you hadn’t answered your phone or done anything else but cry.

As if the heavens sympathized with you, the weather for the last two days had been a dreary, rainy mess. It seemed like the perfect backdrop for you, so you often sat on the deck in the rain and just cried. No care for getting sick, no care for even your hair which you normally were super careful and protective of. Everything be dammed. None of it mattered.

 Everything played in your mind over and over like a movie. It hadn’t felt real then, hell it still didn’t feel real now. You didn’t know how you’d gotten here. Everything had been going so well. For the last year and change his words matched his actions and efforts matched what you saw in his eyes. He was attentive, loving, thoughtful, giving, helpful, honest, devoted. He was perfect. It didn’t make any sense. None of this made sense.

 Could you have imagined what you saw in his eyes? All this time could he have been lying? Was he really such a smooth player and liar to be so skilled to make lies shine through his eyes? Could he really have kept up a façade for over a year? For what? Sex? Your virginity? He didn’t even know you were a virgin.

 You groaned, stood from the shower floor then turned off the water. While dripping wet, you walked to your robe then wrapped yourself in it. Ignoring anything else you walked back to your bedroom and laid down. The weather today was another shitter and again you didn’t care one bit. As you stared out the ceiling to floor window at nothing really your mind drifted away to thoughts trying to make sense of everything. your brain went left, right, up, down and around but still you couldn’t make any sense of it. As your eyelids grew heavier and heavier your brain moved on to the hurt and betrayal of it all. You’d believed, you’d tried, you’d been sold a dream and now it was proven to all be a lie.

 The next time you opened your eyes, it was a lot harder. Your eyelids felt impossibly heavy as if you wore several pairs of lashes. That wasn’t the only thing odd, you couldn’t hear anything except warbled words, high pitched beeping and wind as if a vacuum were on beside you. Writhing, you felt hands everywhere, then something powerful held you down and you felt painful pinches in your arms and thighs. You opened your mouth to scream or shout “stop” but no sound came, your throat was dry and tight. Finally, you were able to open your eyes, but everything was blurry. It was as if you were seeing through them for the first time. It hurt, they felt raw as if someone had thrown sand in them, but it was forever embedded inside.

 Then you heard your name being called but the voice was foreign. As soon as it all started it stopped. Now you heard and saw nothing—but darkness.

Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep.

You snapped your eyes open and gasped gulping in air as quickly as you could. It felt as if you’d been deprived for days.

 “Y/N!”

 Big mistake you thought as quivered from the ache in your body that felt as if it were emulating from your very bones. Then your eyes immediately burned making you shut them again as your back dropped to a bed.

 “Wh--,” you began but stopped once you recognized pain. You felt hoarse.

 The only thought in your head was, what the hell had happened?

 “It’s okay. Calm down,” your father’s voice advised as he placed his hands on your arms steadying you.

 “I know you’re confused. it’s okay. Take slow breaths. I’m here.”

 “Seriously, Jordan, you spoil her. If you coddle her like this, she’ll think she can pull stunts like this all the time,” came the shrill voice of the woman you hated most in this world.

 “Coddle? Aleeza, she almost died,” your father clarified, exasperation clear in his tone.

 “Da—da--,” you swallowed painfully hoping it would help then tried again. “Da--.”

 “Here my love, some water.”

 You felt the glass touch your bottom lip and you took a tentative sip. The first touch of the cold water over your taste buds woke you up making you feel even more like you’d crawled through the Kalahari Desert for a week. You took mouthful after mouthful until the glass was empty.

 “That a girl,” your father encouraged while gently rubbing your back.

 “Yes, she almost died because of her own negligence. Really, Y/N, disappearing for a rager and then drinking until blackout? How mature. I told you Jordan, she is nowhere ready to take on any responsibility with the club,” Aleeza blabbered on.

 Though you were confused as shit, you were seconds from leaping out of the bed and giving her a Mortal Kombat finish her move. You hated this woman, and it was evident the feeling was mutual.

 “Enough!”

 Your father’s voice boomed around the room stopping any further comments from his 2nd wife. Through the thin slits of your burning eyes, you saw that she pouted at him but quickly shaped up seeing he was not going to be fooled.

 “Either sit down and be quiet or you can wait for me in the hall.”

 You didn’t have to look at Aleeza to know she was cowering. You heard her huff, but you didn’t hear her heels clinking out the room, so you assumed she sat.

 “Sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

 You cleared your throat then spoke, “Wha—What happened?”

 “You don’t remember?”

 Shaking your head, you tried to open your eyes more to see him fully.

 “I couldn’t reach you for 4 days. You were supposed to be back in London. I got worried. None of your friends had heard from you, no one had heard from you. I ended up having to have a friend of mine hack into your phone to get your location. When I got to the house you were unconscious, burning up, shivering with vomit on you.”

 Bits and pieces finally came back to you.

 “I brought you here. You had alcohol poisoning, a bronchial infection, and your anemia had been severely triggered. You don’t have enough red blood cells honey. I thought you were taking care of yourself. You know you shouldn’t be drinking excessively. Then come to find out you hadn’t taken your medication in days. Y/N.”

 “Irresponsible.”

 “Aleeza,” your father cautioned.

 With your head down, you allowed the events leading up to today to play through your mind.

 “I’m sorry dad.”

 He sighed, pulled you into a hug and pat the back of your head like he used to when you were a kid. You melted into him and allowed your tears to fall.

 “It’s okay. I—you scared the shit out of me Y/N. I thought I was going to lose you too. I can’t lose you, not after your mother.”

 His voice was clouded with emotion and unshed tears. You knew how difficult losing your mother was for him. You could tell he still hadn’t recovered fully. Your eye caught Aleeza sitting a ways away. The look on her face brightly showed her disgust, annoyance and hatred. There was something else there too, something you couldn’t place. Was it smugness, happiness?

 “They had to pump your stomach to get rid of the alcohol. They gave you iron transfusions and IV meds for the bronchial infection, and a blood transfusion” your father further informed lifting his arm to show his bandaged forearm.

 That bad, you though as the guilt was swirling in you; “How long have I been here?”

 “Two long days,” Aleeza piped up. “Plus, the day you were found. My, my, you should be careful the state you allow others to see you in. You neeever know who snapped a picture and what they’ll do with it.”

 Both yours and your father’s eyes went to her.

 “All I am saying is plenty of tabloid trash would love a picture of Y-F-N/ Y-L-N thee daughter of F1’s most prominent front runner,” Aleeza said. “It isn’t only your name you drag through the mud, Y/N, it is your father’s—mine.”

 You narrowed your eyes, the hatred you felt for her was bubbling at the surface. You knew the woman was vile but for her to say this to you or your father spoke of how ballsy she really felt. They’d only been married for 4 years, and she thought she held the whole Y-L-N power in her hands. Before you could lurch for her and turn this hospital room into a celebrity deathmatch arena, your father sighed.

 “Wait outside Aleeza.”

 “But honey,” she whined dragging out the pet name.

 “Now.”

 Not liking his tone or that she couldn’t cutesy her way out of this she stomped then walked to the door. Once finally alone, you leaned back onto the bed and sighed. The woman was like dark matter, her leaving instantly relieved the tension in the room.

 “I’m sorry for Aleeza. She’s going through a lot with the shareholders not voting her in.”

 “She was the only one who thought they would vote her in,” you rasped.

 “They did however unanimously vote in your favor to take the next steps. Congratulations to the club’s newest and first woman in senior management.”

 You smiled hearing the confirmation that your hard work and effort had paid off.

 “Congratulations honey. Next step shareholder. Toto better watch his back.”

 You snorted then groaned feeling the pain in your chest and abdomen.

 “It serves you right. They pumped 3 times the normal alcohol consumption for the average human from your system. What the hell?”

 You sighed.

 “What’s going on?”

 You couldn’t tell him the truth. There was no way you could tell him that you’d been sleeping with Mercedes’ golden boy and major bread winner. Internal fraternization was frowned upon, hell it was practically in everyone’s contract and now that you’d been placed in senior management it could look really bad. No matter how much you hated Aleeza she was right. Your name was not yours alone. Your father had worked too long to accomplish all he had for you to fuck it up. Plus, if he found out the entirety of things you were sure he’d rip Lewis’ contract to shreds and kick his ass out of MB. You smiled thinking that, but the devious thought quickly passed. You were not that kind of person. He may have turned out to be a lying, selfish, self-centered asshole, but you were none of those things.

 “Don’t allow anyone, man, woman, or child, but especially a man turn you into something or someone you are not!”

 With your mother’s words in your head, you began; “I just got some unsatisfactory news about some investment choices I’d made outside of F1, and the family and I just felt like I’d been pushed back hundreds of steps. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to achieve the things I wanted,” you lied.

 “Honey. What have I always told you? Investments are a game, 50/50. If it’s 50 in your favor great, if not then I’m here. Me and legal the team could have quickly and easily fixed it for you. This was not necessary. Was this a cry for help like Aleeza said?”

 You disgustedly snorted. “No. Aleeza couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m fine now dad. I promise to never let this happen again.”

 He studied you with his wrinkle rimmed all seeing eyes for several long moments. With each second that ticked by, you feared he’d seen right through you. Ever since your mother’s passing, he’d taken her place and was always there for you when you’d gotten your heart broken. He was ready with the ice cream, chocolate, and Brandy. He’d stay with you while you cried offering his lifetime’s worth of advice. If he’d been the one to find you then you knew he had to have seen the empty ice cream cartons and bottles of Brandy lying around amongst the chocolate wrappers. If he had seen them, he knew very well what you were dealing with.

 A sad smile spread across his face. “All right, Y/N. I will take your word for it. Just know I am always your father first and foremost. I will always put you first and I’m always here for you.”

 You nodded and kissed his cheek. If he knew he wasn’t saying anything, and you were grateful to him for that.

 ~~~~~~~

 -3 Days Later-

“Oh my god, when we saw you were in the hospital from Daily Mail, we were so worried,” Francesca said with your hands clasped in hers.

 “Aw, I’m sorry you had to hear about it from Daily Mail—eck! However, I am perfectly fine.”

 You smiled hoping that she and all the other girls believed you. Currently, you were sitting in the conference room that you’d changed around to resemble a comfortable lounge. You’d replaced the oblong conference table and stifling office chairs with oversized bean bag chairs, comfortable designer couches and settees and other elements that gave the room a comfortable vibe.

 “I’m relieved,” Monica, your assistant said.

 “I’m thankful I have you as my right-hand woman and to have such thoughtful women around me.”

 They all beamed at you then Monica stood and walked to the corner where she took out a bouquet of flowers and a galaxy printed gift bag.

 “We all heard about your new title, and we wanted to say...”

 They all jumped up from their seats and threw sparkled confetti at you and into the air.

 “Congratulations!”

 You laughed covering your eyes as the shock washed over you. The room that had been clean seconds ago was now covered in confetti.

 “Wow, you guys. This is—wow, thank you.”

 Monica held the flowers and the gift bag to you. Happily, you took the items and took a deep whiff of them.

 “Mmm. Thank you guys. I appreciate the sentiment and I promise to be the best that I can for all of you.”

 They pooled in and hugged you. With a warm heart you forgot about the stress of the last week or so. This was what you’d worked for, this was what mattered. Your ringing cell phone brought your attention to your purse off to the side.

 “We have to go down to the garage. Are you coming?”

 You looked back at Farrah then nodded; “Give me a second, let me get this and I’ll be right there.”

 They walked to the door leaving you to dig your phone out of your purse. When you had, the caller ID had you pausing.

 💘😘Lewis😍💘

 Your heart immediately began beating out your chest. You stared at his ID and the movie that was your life over the last week or so played in your head at hyper speed. The extreme highs of being with him and being cared for by him, his words during your most intimate moments, his attention, his sex, then the extreme lows of his betrayal, his lies, his selfishness and the aftermath. Your anxiousness turned to anger then.

 This wasn’t the first time he’d called. He’d called so many times since you’d woken in the hospital. Each call of course went unanswered, even ignored. You’d think he would have gotten the hint but no, he kept calling. You thought to put him on the block list, but you hadn’t. You couldn’t. For some reason it still felt wrong, and that fact pissed you off even more. How was it wrong when this was the least of what he deserved?

 The ringing stopped, showing you’d missed his call, but even though you’d missed it, the aftereffects were still present. You cursed your damn body for its treachery and then chastised yourself for still caring and having it prevent you from blocking his ass.

 “Y/N?”

 You shook it off then walked out of the conference room with your purse in tow. As you got downstairs and began your walk to the garage your mind drifted yet again. It had been like this for the last few days. You couldn’t for the life of you keep your head in the game. The smallest things triggered a memory and that memory a slew of emotion and those emotions brought you back to present day and then you crashed—hard.

 You didn’t even realize you’d arrived until you were surrounded by interviewers who were shouting your name trying to get your attention.

 “Y/N, just a few questions.”

 “Okay, sure.”

 “We’ve heard the news of your new position. Congratulations.”

 “Thank you.”

 “Being the daughter of Jordan Y-L-N, did you immediately fall for the idea of working for Mercedes or did they have to woo you?”

 You giggled; “No there was no wooing needed. All I’ve ever known is Mercedes, F1 and racing. Was there really any other career option for me?”

 The reporters laughed all together as the cameras continued snapping.

 “You definitely have a knack for fashion and beauty so there is always that.”

 You struck a pose then fanned off the reporter. “Stop it.”

 “What is the chain of command with your new role?”

 “Uh, I’m still at the bottom of the food chain guys.”

 They laughed again.

 “We doubt that. You are the first woman to enter senior management with the organization. What a feat.”

 “I am incredibly proud of that actually. To see some real change happening to become more inclusive is so monumental.”

 “What do you bring to the Mercedes and F1 table?”

 “A woman’s eye and my entire life of information being behind the scenes, a fan and up front. Needless to say, I’ve seen a lot and I’ve learned even more, and I believe I offer a creative and modern take on the sport and can bring this side of F1 to greater heights.”

 The women you were now in charge of applauded behind you making you smile. They held so much faith in you and it was contagious.

 “Thanks guys,” you said ready to walk away.

 “One more, please, Y/N.”

 “Okay. Last one.”

 “Why do you think Mercedes offered you this role rather than someone more experienced and someone with more skin in the game? Someone who isn’t the daughter of the biggest name in Mercedes. Why you? And couldn’t you consider this nepotism that plenty of African American media users have called for so many of their white counterparts?”

 You couldn’t believe what you’d heard. The old white man who’d asked the question didn’t look in the least bit ashamed or worried about the question. He looked proud. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t know what to say to a reporter. For the first time you actually wanted to reach over and punch a reporter in the face.

 You cleared your throat then stepped forward. That was when someone stepped in front of you. A body with a head full of braids you recognized.

“What kind of question is that? Mercedes chose her because she’s worked her ass off in and around the field learning, helping and wearing more hats than you could possibly imagine. Mercedes chose her for the role because there wasn’t anyone better, no one with more experience, no one with more skin in the game. She has the most as she’s been with this division since the very beginning when it was a formulated idea between Jordan Y-L-N and his late wife, her mother. Who better to take the helm than one of the founding visionaries. As for this being nepotism according to non-POCs, why does it matter what you think? A qualified woman given a position that she is qualified and skilled to do. Isn’t that what we call equal opportunity? Now an unqualified individual given a position that they are unqualified for and highly under skilled to complete thus relying on those who should have been given the position. Isn’t that the textbook definition of nepotism and isn’t that 90% of the nonblack workforce? Y/N more than has the talk to back up the walk. Do you need clarification?”

 The interviewers all looked stunned, and their speechlessness showed just how thoroughly they’d been read. None of them continued. They just nodded and thanked him and moved on. When he turned to you, you knew you should have walked away but you were still standing there dumbstruck. Lewis stared at you, his face solemn, eyebrows knitted and a frown on his lips. From the circles under his eyes and the lack of luster to his skin you, could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. Probably fucking everything with legs, you said to yourself.

 At that thought you clenched your jaw and shook your head. Turning, you began walking.

 “Y/N, wait.”

 As if it were instinct, you stopped. Go, you screamed in your head. Walk! No matter how much you screamed at yourself, your legs didn’t move.

 “Can we talk?”

 You reared back with eyes wide from his audacity. Lewis shrunk back, flinching as if you’d slapped him across the face. You wanted to so badly your palms itched for it.

 “Please,” he softly added.

 The anger bubbling inside of you finally took over. Instead of it making you irrational and shaky, it had the opposite effect. You felt calm. With one brow raised and poison in your eyes you tapped into your bitch side.

 “You can talk to the crack of my ass!”

 With that you walked away joining your team.

 Over the next several days you wished you could have said he’d gotten the hint. He still called even when you put him on the block list. He’d use other means, Toto’s phone, the Mercedes office phones, his crew, other drivers. It was insane. You’d gotten to the point where you were screening calls by voicemail now.

 Every time you broke and listened to one of his voicemails, they sounded more and more desperate. He never said anything of substance or even explained himself. He simply rambled about the past and asked how you were together. His behavior was so confusing it put you in a state of extreme anger and dangerous sadness. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, but when you did you couldn’t get past feeling weak for trying to make excuses for him.

By the middle of the week, you’d managed to avoid Lewis, and anyone associated with him. Today you’d told your father you’d accompany him to one of the races and you were now walking around the paddock with other members of the crew inspecting the car and having small chats.

 “Congratulations little Y-L-N,” came a voice you recognized.

 Spinning around, you found Toto coming toward you. Smiling, you approached him and accepted his wide stretched arms for a hug.

 “Thank you, big bad Wolff.”

 He chuckled at your nickname for him. “I hear I should watch my back within the next year or two.”

 “I didn’t say it but--,” you stretched making your father and Toto laugh.

 “All right. Well, I welcome you to take my job because then I’ll be sure you deserve it. Come play with the big boys.”

 You rolled your eyes at his teasing.

 “Are you here in senior management mode or are you a spectator?”

 “A little bit of both I guess. I’m also my dad’s plus one.”

 He nodded then looked back as someone called his name. Approaching your trio was Lewis. You released a heavy sigh then caught your father’s eyes on you. Doing your best to cover, you smiled brightly at him.

 “Lewis, feeling good for the race?”

 “Eh, I’m feeling all right.”

 “Good. You remember Jordan Y-L-N and Y/N.”

 Lewis reached out and shook your father’s hand. You noticed the tight hold your father took of him as he held him in place while slightly leaning forward.

 “What kind of man are you, Lewis?”

 “Uh--,” he began clearly confused by your father’s sudden inquiry.

 “The kind of man someone is says a lot about the kind of driver he is. Are you a good, strong, loyal man who knows right from wrong and always protects those he values or a weak man who easily falls prey to pretty words and pretty faces? Are you the kind of man who a father would be proud to hand his pride and joy over to because he’s certain she’ll be cared for properly?”

 Part of you was confused about what had gotten into him and why he was asking this while the other part of you wanted to pat him on the back and grab a cup of the tea because he was definitely getting his Wendy Williams on. They were damn good questions. You knew from experience he was the latter, but you’d let him tell it or lie. What man in their right mind would admit to being a fuckboi?

 Your eyes, your father’s and Toto’s were on Lewis waiting for his answer.

 “Em, I uh—the former, sir.”

 You snorted louder than you’d intended and now three pairs of eyes were on you.

 “Ehm, sorry, I saw something just over there with Charles.”

 Your father smirked while Lewis grimaced.

 “All right. Good to see you again Lewis. Good luck out there,” your father finished.

 Lewis nodded, thanked him then looked at you. He must have been able to see the disdain in your eyes because the only vibe you got from him was a gloomy and depressing one. What the hell you thought. He’d gotten what he wanted. Why the hell would he be anything but overjoyed?

 “Good luck Lewis,” Toto added.

 He looked at you as if he expected you to say the same. You wouldn’t. You weren’t there yet. You wished him pain. Instead of saying that, you kept your lips sealed. When he realized you weren’t going to be a sheep led by the herd, he nodded then walked away back to his crew.

 Twenty or so minutes later, the race was beginning. From behind the scenes, you watched as the lead fluctuated for the first several laps. By the time lap 40 came around, Lewis was in lead, and you couldn’t quell the part of you that was excited and proud of him. It had been so long programed in you that you hadn’t been able to turn it off yet. With effort, you stifled it and kept yourself in check.

 Lap 55 brought different results, Charles took over the lead putting Lewis in second and now the spectators were split. Some cheering for Lewis, some for Charles. Looking around you could sense the angst in the air. Lewis’ team looked on edge as did Charles’. You found it interesting that 3 weeks ago you would also be on edge hoping for the best outcome for Lewis, but everything was different now. You’d seen his true colors, seen the man underneath the pleasant mask and unfortunate for you, you’d been disillusioned.

 Biting your bottom lip, you checked your phone becoming bored with the race. Before you knew it, everyone was standing and cheering on their teams. Then you heard it, the end of the race. You looked up at the screen and saw the standings. Charles had taken P1 while Lewis was at P2. Again, you felt things a significant other would have felt, things you were not obligated or should have felt. It pissed you off more.

 “Hm, interesting,” your father said.

 “What?”

 “He rarely loses.”

 “He did seem off the last week,” Toto informed.

 You shrugged trying to convince yourself you didn’t care.

 When the cars rolled in, and everyone came in you saw the downtrodden look on Lewis’ face and you had to fight with ever fiber in your being against your instincts. You kept yourself planted right where you were and averted your eyes.

 “Charles, the man of the day,” your father began, “Congratulations.”

 “Thank you, sir. Wow, I’m speechless you know who I am.”

 “Of course. Anyone pulling stats like yours I make a business to know,” your father joked.

 “Do you know Y/N?”

 Charles’ eyes landed on you and a wide smile filled his face. He was adorable and you could see how he had the attention of so many fans.

 “I do but glad to finally be up close and personal.”

 Your eyebrow crooked at what sounded like a flirtatious line. Just behind Charles you saw Lewis watching though a sea of people surrounded him trying to get his thoughts.

 “Well up close and personal we are. Good race, congratulations.”

 You stepped in and hugged him while giving Lewis your daggered glare of death.

 “Thanks. Wow, you have such a beautiful daughter Mr. Y-L-N.”

 Your father chuckled. “Don’t I know it. It’s my curse. No matter how I try I can’t keep the boys from her yard.”

 You snorted and teasingly slapped your father’s shoulder. “Ew, dad.”

 Those around laughed as well.

 “Well not all boys in her yard are bad.”

 “Are you throwing yourself in her yard, son?”

 Charles looked at you again and smiled. “I’d be honored to be there.”

 You giggled and swatted at his chest playing up your flirtation. Lewis looked absolutely livid. Good you thought and hoped he understood he wasn’t the end of your world. There were indeed plenty of fish in the sea or in this pond.

Several hours later, you were finally walking to your car ready to go home from a long day. Your feet and face hurt from walking and smiling too much, and you couldn’t wait to wipe off all the makeup and kick off the heels. You sat in the driver’s seat with your feet outside the car then unbuckled your heels. after taking one off, you put it over your knee and massaged it sighing when you hit a particularly achy part.

 “Ouch.”

 Just then a memory hit you of Lewis massaging your feet on long days like this. He never missed a massage. Usually that massage led to other things like him nestling his head between your thighs to then lick, suck and slurp the stress of the day away. With that memory in your head, you dazed out reminiscing about all the good times. Things had been so good, so perfect. you felt the tears prick your eyes and before you could stop them, they rolled down your face.

 “Damn it,” you said on a whine as you buried your face in your palms.

 You couldn’t stop the cries that wracked your body. It was like you hadn’t shed any tears these last weeks when in fact you’d cried every day since finding Lewis exercising his right to be a man whore.

 “Fuck. Stop it Y/N. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!”

 No matter how many times you said it the tears kept coming. You didn’t know how long you sat there barefoot and weeping. It could have been a few minutes, or it could have been an hour. You didn’t know nor cared.

 “Y/N?”

 You were crying so loud that you barely heard the voice.

 “Y/N!”

 Suddenly before you Lewis was dropped to his knees searching you.

“Are you hurt? What’s wrong? Are you all right?”

 His words were frantic, eyes wide and wild. It took a few moments to realize what was happening but instead of kicking him in his face, you made up your face and wailed even more.

 “Get the fuck—the fuck—the fuck away!”

 He didn’t.

 “What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?”

 “Y—y—you! Asshole!”

 His hands slackened on your arms, and you saw him dip his head.

 “I—I--,” he stuttered.

 “Get away!”

 He began getting up, but you pulled him back down. “Why? Why’d you do it?! How could you!”

 You held him by his shirt like you were a gangster getting ready to pummel him. He didn’t fight you, so you released your fists in a fury of hits against his chest. No matter how hard you hit him he didn’t move, nor try to stop you. He just took it. Soon, your barrage of hits turned to you just pressing your forehead on his chest as you cried.

 “Shit, I’m sorry Y/N. I--.”

 You barely heard his words all you could focus on was the pain in your heart. Many long moments passed with the two of you like this, Lewis on his knees before you with your forehead on his chest. You hated it but he still felt like home to you. He still felt like yours. Those feelings angered you because you knew you were being stupid, pathetic and weak. You knew if he’d fucked you over once, he’d do it again and again. You weren’t blind to the games of the assholes in the world, but you couldn’t believe you’d fallen for one. You couldn’t believe you’d given one such a significant part of you and now you had nothing to show for it but the shattered pieces of your heart and clown face paint as souvenirs.

 When your sobs slowed then finally dwindled down to sniffles, and your body stilled to only sudden sharp intakes of breath every so often your senses returned. The first thing you became aware of were Lewis’ arms wrapped around you holding you close to him. The second was the fact he was kneeling between your thighs, something that felt intimate in its own standing. The third was that his two-man bodyguard team were standing a few feet away with their backs turned. That jarred you so much that you immediately felt regret.

 “Get off me!”

 You shoved him off harder than you’d intended then wiped your tear-soaked face.

 “Y/N--,” Lewis began.

 “Shut up!”

 Your voice echoed around the empty parking space. You were the only people around, but you didn’t put it past some pap to be hiding out trying to get a candid of F1’s golden boy.

 “Let me explain.”

 “Explain? You had your chance to explain. You chose to remain silent, and fuck lose pussy.”

 “I didn’t fuck anyone!”

 His voice was sharp and sudden as if he’d been enflamed to set the record straight all of a sudden. You narrowed your eyes at him and began moving trying to swing your legs inside your car. Lewis grabbed your thighs keeping you in place.

 “I didn’t.”

 “You’re a fucking liar Lewis! I was there. I saw it!”

 “You saw what I wanted you to see.”

 Your anger sparked then.

 “What the fuck does that mean? You wanted me to see you fucking other bitches? You wanted me to see you for the asshole you are. Fine! Done! I see it! Let me the fuck go!”

 He didn’t.

 “I thought I could do this. I thought I could easily do this because it was to protect you, it was to keep you safe.”

 “What! What’re you talking about?”

 Lewis rubbed across his face. He looked haunted, exhausted, and broken. “If you’re this bad off to end up in the hospital and now this—fuck. I fucked up.”

 You didn’t know what he was saying much less couldn’t understand anything. Nothing made sense.

 “Y/N, listen—I—shit—okay listen.”

 He continued to stutter as he tried to formulate a sentence but every time nothing came out. You sat there giving him time to get it together but realized your idiocy midway through. Groaning, you shoved him again.

 “Get the fuck away. You’re full of shit!”

 Managing to push him away this time, he fell backward. You swung your legs inside your car then reached for the door. Lewis put his hand on yours, stopping you.

 “Wait, please.”

 “Fuck you, Lewis. Fuck you and fuck this!”

 You shook your hand free then slammed your car door. It took you seconds to start your engine and revved out of there like F1’s newest driving talent. As you sped away you looked in your rearview mirror at a still kneeling Lewis with his hands planted atop his head. Your heart broke seeing it but that only angered you more.

 That night you struggled to get any sleep. You were in between states of hysterical crying and obsessive staring and stalking. You couldn’t make sense of anything, couldn’t understand his behavior. One minute he was telling you that all he wanted to do was live life in the fast lane and fuck around then he was holding you so tenderly and apologizing. You were getting mental whiplash from his change up and it infuriated you.

By the time the sun rose, you were still awake. As you were getting ready to shoot a message informing everyone of a personal day, you received a message telling you about a meeting at the company. You groaned knowing you did not have the energy to sit through a 2-hour meeting. You shot Toto a message telling him you’d have to pass blaming a medical appointment for the absence then decided to use the company gym to burn off some steam.

 After you’d changed and had gotten in your car, you drove to the company barely aware of anything happening around you. All of it felt like muscle memory to you. The reason why it had, you realized once you’d parked your car, was because you hadn’t driven yourself to the company. You’d driven to Lewis’ London house instead.

 “What the actual fuck, Y/N?”

 You dropped your forehead on your steering wheel and groaned. Muscle memory indeed, you thought. You didn’t see his car on the street and thought maybe he wasn’t home. Deciding now would be a good time to clear your stuff out of his place you entered the code into the alarm system then drove in once the gates opened. After parking on what Lewis had distinguished as your parking area you closed the garage door then let yourself inside using the keys he’d given you.

 This was another thing you couldn’t understand. If you were just a conquest and an easy target, why give you keys to his houses, why tell you the codes to security systems? You took off your sneakers and took them with you as you passed a large blown-up photo of the two of you hung right in the foyer. You stood stunned staring at it. You remembered this day. He’d shut down the top of the Empire State Building for a one-on-one date. Then after wining and dining you all night while whispering sweet words the entire time, he’d asked his guard to snap a few pictures. You remembered the words he’d whispered in your ear in this exact picture.

 “You make me want forever.”

 You closed your eyes feeling the tears. Willing them away you fought against your emotional side. You were tired of crying, tired of going around and around with this and him. It was time to end things, once and for all. You cut your eyes at the photo then hurried upstairs to his bedroom. The memories and his scent hit you like a ton of bricks when you walked in and again you fought it all. You couldn’t afford to get sucked back into the memories that were clearly a lie.

 After finding one of your overnight bags in his walk-in closet, you began filling it with your things. It surprised you how much of your stuff was here. It wasn’t just clothes and toiletries. It was shoes, bags, make up, jewelry, hair things, work files, even gifts you planned on giving to friends. Sighing, you packed everything you’d came with while leaving anything he’d given you. They would only hurt to find later.

 It took longer than you’d anticipated but after an hour you had three bags filled with your things. As you passed the photo again on your way out you paused to look around once more. Though it was just a few seconds, you knew you’d missed your window when you heard a car pull in.

 “Shit.”

 Hurrying, you dragged your bags behind the large bar then ducked down out of sight. The door opened and shut then you heard a heavy sigh.

 “I thought she’d be at the meeting,” Lewis said.

 “If you want to talk to her just call her,” one of his guards said.

 “If she wanted to talk to me, she would have answered the other hundred times I called.”

 “Then tell her the truth.”

 Lewis sighed again. “How?”

 His voice was close now. You guessed he was standing right at the bar. You made yourself smaller and hoped he didn’t come behind it.

 “I’m sure when you start the words will come.”

 The door opened again then you heard the voice of his friends. You’d spent a lot of time with his friends getting to know them. They were cool people.

 “When are we clubbing,” Miles asked.

 “Not in the mood,” Lewis said dismissing the idea.

 “Come on. Just because your shorty left you doesn’t mean we all gotta suffer.”

 “She ain’t leave him bruv, he made her leave,” Daniel clarified.

 Your attention piqued. What did that mean?

 “You still haven’t explained all that yet. What now?”

 Suddenly, the bell rang, and everyone got quiet.

 “For fuck’s sake. Really?”

 Lewis sounded beyond upset, beyond fed up. A few moments of silence passed, and you were almost tempted to peep your head out to see what was happening. When he began speaking, you remained in your hiding spot.

 “Y’all gotta hide. I don’t want her knowing you’re here and I’m sure it’ll be clear.”

 You heard hurried footsteps.

 “Nah, behind the bar,” Lewis said.

Your eyes bugged knowing you were going to be caught. Shit, you thought. It was Daniel who saw you first, his reaction was quick, simple widened eyes before he ducked down. Andrew saw you next and though he paused he didn’t comment until he was ducked down. Now Miles, when he saw you, he had to be the one.

 “What the--.”

 Daniel yanked him down before he could say much else though.

 “We’re good,” Daniel said.

 “What the fuck are you doing here?”

 “Getting my stuff,” you whispered back to Miles.

 Their eyes dipped to the bags around you, then they nodded.

 “What the fuck is going on?”

 They all shrugged in unison.

 “What’re you doing here?”

 “There he is,” a feminine voice spoke.

 Your spine stiffened. There’s no way. It couldn’t be, you thought. The clinking of heels was so loud, so distinctively her.

 “What do you want Aleeza. Also, I don’t remember inviting you in.”

 Your eyes widened. What the hell was your father’s evil trophy wife doing here?

 “Trust me, you’re going to want to make sure no one else hears what I have to say.”

 The door slammed and echoed throughout the first floor. When you looked over three pairs of eyes were on you as if waiting for you to explain. You shrugged. You had no idea why she was there.

 “What more do you want? I’ve done everything you’ve asked. I have nothing left to give.”

 Aleeza laughed, it sounded like the wicked witch in Snow White’s cackle. The three men across from you shuddered all at once. You scoffed to yourself thinking if they only knew the half of it.

 “Aww poor baby. Are you hurting? Get over it. she was nothing, less than nothing, an insignificant speck.”

 “Why do you hate her so much?”

 Were they talking about you?

 Aleeza scoffed disgustedly, “Why do I hate the so-called perfect Y-F-N/Y-L-N? Pick a reason. Her father chose to marry her mother over me. He had the nerve to pick her over me saying he loved her and not me. It should have been me. It was supposed to be me! All anyone ever talked about was her stupid, perfect mother. Oh, Alisha is so pretty, she’s so kind, she’s so smart. My god just wanted them to shut up. So, I bided my time until the bitch died then I swooped in.”

 You were so stunned right now you hadn’t moved an inch. Your eyes remained bugged and glued to one particular spot in the bar as you listened. Slowly, the pieces all fit together. You never knew why she didn’t like you, never even knew of the rivalry she’d had with your mother. You felt like you were an outsider looking in on an episode of F1’s WAGS (Wives and Girlfriends).

 “I’ve hated her from the day I met her. Why would I love that bitch’s daughter. Then I realized she is just like her. All anyone can talk about is Y/N. She’s so beautiful, so kind, so smart, so skilled. Uuuugh!”

 A loud crash of something breaking had all four of you jumping out of your skin. As if this were campfire horror stories, the four of you grabbed hands. This shit could go south at any moment.

 “Then I saw you and I wanted you.”

 Lewis let out a disgusted huff.

 “The plan was to seduce you slowly or use a little force to get you into my bed and ya’ know.”

 The four of you now made up your faces as if you were going to be sick. Hearing all this, you actually might get sick very soon.

 “Then I saw how you were with that bitch. I don’t know how anyone else didn’t notice. I put two and two together and realized you were fucking the slut. Just like her whore of a mother, taking what was mine!”

 Another crash of shattering glass filled the room.

 “So, I had the perfect way to give that little slut what she deserved, what her mother should have gotten. That’s why I got the idea to have you do my dirty work. I mean I already had the goods on you. If Jordan found out you were fucking his precious daughter born of true loves kiss from his soulmate, you’d be out of Mercedes quicker than you can say 103 first place standings. They wouldn’t have mattered.”

 “So that’s why you made me do what I did,” Lewis said sort of in disbelief.

 Aleeza cackled again and again the fellas shuddered.

 “Made you? Lewis come on. All I said was either end things brutally by breaking and shattering her heart so she’d never recover, or I’d tell daddy dearest,” Aleeza said.

 Your eyes widened even more. She was blackmailing him.

 “Of course, you being you and so damn delicious, manly and sexy was ready to throw your hard-earned career to the side come what may just for that little slut. I can’t believe you were willing to have me tell her father and have him rip up your contract rather than break her heart.”

 She laughed maniacally and you swore outside got as dark as midnight though it was probably only noon. Across from you, Miles had a panicked look on his face, and he was mouthing; “what the fuck” over and over.

 “I could never do that to her.”

 “Yet you did. Tell me was it only because I said she’d end up in another unfortunate accident like her car accident a few months ago?”

 A disturbing thought filled you. Was Aleeza behind your car accident? The police deemed it a drunk driver who’d ran out of the car to avoid being caught but could it have been a hired goon who had been paid to plow into you as you stood outside the Gala that night waiting for Lewis to bring his car around? Goosebumps peppered your flesh as so many emotions coursed through you.

 “Was it you?”

 As if he’d heard your thoughts, Lewis asked what you wanted to know.

“Me?”

 “Were you behind the accident then?”

 A long silence filled the room as you anxiously waited for her answer. You were ready to leap over the bar and beat it out of her. Thankfully she spoke.

 “If only that idiot hadn’t fucked up the first accident. She’d be long gone by now and I would be the sole inheritor to Jordan’s estate when he dies. So, this plan worked well too. Anyway, it was you who decided how to break her heart. You made that choice all by yourself and might I add what an incredible choice it was. My, my when you go you go all out.”

 She cackled some more.

 “After everything we’d been through there was no way she’d believe anything else.”

 He sounded dejected and heartbroken.

 “And believe you she did. That show was incredible. I was just—”

 She slow clapped for him, and each heavy-handed clap echoed sounding more and more like the annoying clash cymbals.

 “Watching it I couldn’t believe it. Then when she revealed that you’d taken her virginity, holy hell what a fucking plot twist! The little slut really wasn’t a slut but a total prude.”

 She cackled some more, and the fellas looked sympathetically to you. You didn’t know what the hell to say at this point. This was too much.

 “Bravo. You did more than a job well done. Shattered her heart, broke her faith in men and stole her virginity.”

 “Where in your plan did you figure you’d get me in your bed after this?”

 Another long silence.

 “I mean after you’d pulled off all of these disgusting things revealing your true face. Why would I ever sleep with you?”

 “You’ve slept with far worse.”

 He scoffed.

 “Then I can still blackmail you with your deflowering of your boss’ innocent daughter oh and your falling out which put her in the hospital. Either you give me what I want, or you would have done all this for nothing, broken her heart, and lost your career.”

 Her heels clinked again a few times. She wasn’t walking away she was getting closer to him.

 “Come on Lewis, it’s easy. All I want is that part of you that you’ve given to soooo many before Y/N.”

 “Dick. You did all of this for dick.”

 “Your dick and to ruin that little bitch. Do I have to ruin you too? Why not keep the one thing you have left.”

 “I can tell Y/N.”

 She laughed again. “Like she’d believe that incredulous story of me making you sleep with other girls. Hell like she’d speak to you. I’ve seen the freeze out. Yikes, it’s almost like you broke her heart.”

 “You’re evil, pure evil.”

 “Watch it, Lewis. Your career and future are in my hands, or should I say my pussy. Please it and you will find salvation.”

 She chuckled. “You have 2 days. Buh-bye.”

 The annoying sound of her stupid heels clinked across the floor until they faded with the close of a door. No one moved for several moments. You didn’t think you could. Suddenly Miles sprang up.

 “What the Five Nights at Freddy’s fucking hell was that shit?!”

 Slowly, Andrew then Daniel stood as well. You could hear Miles carrying on, but you didn’t hear the words out of his mouth. You were too lost in your thoughts, too lost replaying all of that and trying to let it digest. You went over the entire thing in your head. You were so lost in your thoughts that you’d tuned everything out.

 When you saw Daniel come back over and stand in front of you, it barely registered. He stooped and held his hand out for you. Slowly, you pulled some of yourself together enough to acknowledge him there. When you took his hand, he stood leading you up.

It took a few moments but when Lewis saw you from across the room, he bolted to his feet. His eyes were wide as he crossed the room eyes never leaving you.

 “Y/N?”

 You stepped back though you were separated by the bar top. Lewis stopped.

 “Wha—what are you doing here? How’d you get in? Did—did you hear that?”

 He looked over to Daniel then back to you. A few moments later, he came around to you bucking his feet on your bags. You watched as the realization washed over him.

 “You—you didn’t come for me. You came to pack your things.”

 He sounded so hopeless, so hurt. Now more than ever you wanted to go to him, but you couldn’t move. What the fuck was real and what wasn’t? You were struggling to wrap your head around any of this.

 “What the fuck!”

 It was all you could say. Though there were plenty of words to say in your head, those were the only ones that made it through your lips. You could feel yourself beginning to panic. It was something you’d thought you worked through after the accident. You’d gone to therapy and everything to get over the panic and anxiety nearly being run over had caused. Now here it was again.

 Your airways tightened and soon the struggle wasn’t to wrap your head around this soap opera, it was to breathe. The less air you could get, the more you panicked. Soon you were surrounded by Lewis and his friends, each dictating to you how to breathe with panicked serial killer eyes or telling you to calm down as they were clearly not calm or straight up panicking along with you.

 The last thought you had was you were going to die surrounded by the four stooges. Then everything faded to black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[marinawolf]

Please Come Back (Supercorp)

by marinawolf

Lena Luthor villain arc with tragedy. Sad, angsty. Kinda painful tbh. (Trying out something new- I'm sorry.)

tw: death

As Lena stood frozen in her office, Lex's revelation echoed through her mind like a relentless scream.

"Kara Danvers is Supergirl."

The anger that surged within Lena was more than just a fiery blaze; it was a consuming inferno, tearing through her with a ferocity she had never known. It was a primal, gut-wrenching rage that threatened to consume her from the inside out. How could Kara, the person Lena had trusted above all others, the one she had poured her heart and soul into, deceive her so completely? Every memory they shared, every whispered secret, every stolen glance and lingering touch now felt like shards of glass slicing into Lena's heart.

Betrayal twisted like a knife in Lena's gut, a relentless, gnawing ache that refused to be ignored. She had let Kara in, allowed herself to believe in their connection, their bond, only to have it all ripped away in an instant.

Lena's fists clenched so tightly that her nails dug deep into her palms, drawing blood that went unnoticed.

And beneath the anger, beneath the seething fury that threatened to consume her whole, lay something even more agonizing: the crushing weight of her own foolishness.

She allowed herself to fall in love with Kara.

Lena had fallen for Kara, fallen so deeply and so irrevocably that it sometimes felt like she was drowning. She had trusted Kara with everything she had, given her heart without reservation, only to be repaid with deceit and betrayal.

Kara had played her for a fool, spinning her web of lies with practiced ease while Lena foolishly danced to her tune. And now, as the truth lay bare before her, Lena felt a cold, numbing emptiness settle over her. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but Lena refused to let them fall. She would not give Kara the satisfaction of her tears, of witnessing the devastation she had wrought.

In that moment, Lena felt as though she had been hollowed out, stripped bare of everything she once held dear.

Kara Danvers had torn her apart. She had shattered Lena's heart into a million irreparable pieces, and there was no going back.

Did Kara not trust her? Did she see Lena as nothing more than a Luthor, tainted by the sins of her family name?

Was that what Kara thought her to be? A villain, unworthy of trust or redemption? If that's how Kara saw her, then perhaps it was time Lena embraced that role fully. She had tried to rise above the shadow of her family's legacy, to prove herself worthy of Kara's faith and, someday, her love. But if Kara couldn't see past the Luthor name, then perhaps Lena should stop pretending to be anything other than what she was: a Luthor, tainted by blood and betrayal.

The bitterness of the realization tasted like poison on Lena's tongue. She had loved Kara, secretly, fiercely, with a devotion that bordered on obsession. And now, as she stood on the precipice of darkness, Lena's heartbreak threatened to consume her whole.

Every word, every touch, every stolen glance between them replayed in Lena's mind like a cruel mockery of what could never be. She had allowed herself to dream of a future with Kara, to imagine a life where they could be together. But those dreams lay shattered at Lena's feet.

What a fool.

If Kara saw her as a villain, then a villain she would be.

--

The soft click of the door opening drew Lena's attention to Kara breezing into her office. Lena's heart leapt at the sight, as it always did.

Dressed in a button-up shirt, her glasses hiding those piercing blue eyes, Kara brought with her the bashfulness and innocence that once brightened Lena's day. But now, every glance at Kara was a stab to her heart. She knew that beneath that facade lay a web of lies, woven with expert precision by Kara herself. How could Lena have been so blind, so foolish to trust someone who had manipulated her with such ease? How could she have missed the signs? How could she have failed to see the truth that was staring her right in the face?

But Lena knew the answer. It was because she wanted to believe in Kara. She had allowed herself to be lulled into a false sense of security, to fall in love, only to be betrayed in the cruelest of ways. And now, as Kara stood before her, Lena couldn't help but feel a pang of anger at the realization of how thoroughly she had been played.

Kara held a takeout bag in her hands, a small smile playing at her lips as she met Lena's gaze. She looked so beautiful it almost hurt, and Lena couldn't help but feel a pang of longing deep within her chest. For a moment, she allowed herself to imagine what could have been, if she hadn't learned the truth. They would settle on the couch in Lena's office, laughing and talking while eating the grossly unhealthy takeout that Kara would have surely brought. Lena would have been happy. Content.

But those thoughts were nothing more than a cruel fantasy. She couldn't allow herself to forget the lies, the deceit that had woven its way through every moment of their relationship. Kara was a liar, and Lena couldn't bear to look at her now without feeling like a fool.

This wasn't the Kara she thought she knew. This wasn't the friend she had trusted with her deepest secrets. This wasn't the woman she had stupidly fallen in love with. This was a stranger, wearing Kara's face like a mask, hiding the true extent of her deception behind a facade of innocence and charm. Lena wanted to applaud Kara's charade.

Now, there would be no lunch, no laughter, no friendship between them. Not when it had all been built on a foundation of lies. She couldn't keep up the pretense any longer.

"Supergirl," Lena's voice cut through the air like a blade, her tone sharp and cold. She watched as Kara's smile faltered

"Supergirl? Where?" Kara's attempt to deflect, to keep up the lie was almost laughable.

"Please. Stop lying to me," Lena whispered.

Panic flashed across Kara's face, her eyes wide with fear, and Lena felt a fleeting satisfaction.

"You've been lying to me since day one, Kara. You shattered every defense I ever had, and it was all a lie. Even after I confided in you about how everyone I ever cared about betrayed me, you still did this. Was it amusing? To play games with a Luthor? Because evidently, I'm not deserving of your honesty, of your trust."

As Kara reached out, her hand trembling, Lena recoiled. Oh how she once craved that touch.

"Lena, please. Let me explain."

"Explain what?" Lena's voice cracked with anguish, her eyes clouded with unshed tears. "That in your eyes, I'm just another villain to be manipulated? I understand, Kara. I've been nothing more than a fool to you."

"God, Lena. No. You mean everything to me." Kara's voice shook with emotion, and Lena wondered how much of it was an act. "At first, I wanted to protect you from that part of my life. And then, we got closer, so close, and I just didn't know how to tell you without destroying everything. I didn't want to lose you."

Lena refused to listen to Kara's excuses, refused to allow herself to be manipulated any longer.

"Stop this charade, Kara. You've been lying to me, mocking our friendship, even after I shared my deepest wounds with you. I never imagined you would betray me too."

As Kara stepped toward her, tears streaming down her face, Lena's heart hardened with resentment. Were her tears merely another performance in Kara's elaborate deception?

"Don't," Lena's voice trembled. "This friendship, us, it's over. You don't trust me. I'm just a Luthor, right? An evil, calculating Luthor. So be it."

Kara's tears fell like rain, but Lena remained unmoved by their false sincerity. "Lena, please. I'm so sorry. I never meant--"

"No, Kara. Just go. Please. I can't do this. I can't bear to look at you," Lena's voice trembled with the effort to hold back her tears as Kara turned and left, leaving Lena alone.

And finally, Lena allowed herself to cry.

---

two months later

Lena's footsteps echoed through the fortress, her heart pounding in her chest. She had one mission—to steal Myriad. It was a crucial component of Project Non Nocere, her collaboration with her brother, and she couldn't afford to fail. Despite the dangers of working with Lex, his vision made sense to her. At least he didn't deceive her, unlike others.

The promises of peace and control that Lex offered beckoned to Lena. The belief that humanity's flaws, their inclination toward deceit and manipulation, were at the root of all conflict made sense to Lena. In her eyes, people lied, schemed, and betrayed each other, perpetuating a cycle of suffering. She and Lex were in agreement on this fundamental truth. And she knew how to stop it.

As Lena approached her objective, she steeled herself for the confrontation she knew would come. Supergirl would undoubtedly arrive to stop her, but Lena was prepared. She had a plan to neutralize her adversary. And that is what Supergirl had become- her adversary.

When Kara finally appeared, confusion and hurt etched upon her face, Lena's resolve wavered for an instant but those eyes also fueled the fire of Lena's determination, pushing her to carry out her mission.

With trembling hands, Lena activated the trap she had meticulously prepared. The mechanism sprang to life, encasing Kara in a prison of kryptonite. Lena winced at the sight of Kara weakened, the pain of her actions a dagger in her soul. But she knew she had to see this through, for the greater good—or so she told herself. It still pained her to see Kara weakened, to be the cause of her suffering, but she knew it was necessary.

"Lena, why are you doing this?" Kara's voice, weakened by the kryptonite's effects, pierced through the air.

"Because I'm a villain, remember?"

A part of Lena wanted to rush to Kara's side, to gather her into her arms, but she steeled herself.

Another part of her wanted to leave Kara in that trap, as Lex had advised her to do- but she couldn't do that either. Despite everything, despite the betrayal, she couldn't bring herself to truly inflict harm upon Kara. So Lena deactivated the trap, allowing Supergirl to collapse to the floor, weakened but alive as she left the fortress.

--

Some time later, at the Mount Norquay Bunker

Lena stood next to Lex, poised to set their nefarious plan into motion when the DEO burst through the doors, led by Supergirl. Lena's heart leapt at the sight, despite everything. She couldn't stop her heart from reacting to Kara, no matter how hard she tried.

Lex's expression twisted in disbelief as he laid eyes on the seemingly invincible Supergirl. His shock quickly morphed into rage, his eyes blazing with fury as he directed his anger towards Lena.

"You couldn't even take care of her, sister?" Lex's voice dripped with scorn, his disappointment palpable.

"I couldn't do it," she confessed, her voice barely a whisper.

Before Lena could comprehend what was happening, Lex seized a kryptonite weapon, aiming it directly at her. Shock surged through Lena as she realized she was being used as a shield against Supergirl.

A cold chill swept through the bunker as Lex issued his chilling ultimatum. "Take another step, Supergirl, and I'll kill her," he threatened, his voice dripping with malice.

Supergirl froze, her hands raised in a gesture of surrender, her eyes pleading with Lex to release Lena. "Let her go, Lex. It's all over," she implored, her voice tinged with desperation.

But Lex's resolve remained unyielding. "It's not over until I say it is," he declared, his finger tightening on the trigger.

Lena closed her eyes, bracing herself for the inevitable, accepting her fate. She deserved this. But when she opened them, she was met with a sight that shattered her to the core.

Kara had intercepted the bullet meant for Lena, her body absorbing the deadly impact of the kryptonite. Time seemed to stand still as Kara collapsed to the ground, her chest pierced by the lethal projectile.

A strangled cry tore from Lena's throat as she watched Kara fall. She stumbled forward, reaching out to Kara as the DEO agents moved swiftly to apprehend Lex, their actions a blur of motion in the chaos.

Lex's laughter echoed through the bunker, a twisted symphony of triumph and madness. "Well, at least you weakened her, sister," he taunted Lena, his words like poison on her ears.

Lena's mind reeled as she knelt beside Kara's prone form, her hands trembling as she reached out to touch her. "What have I done?" she whispered, her voice choked with anguish and regret.

Tears streamed down Lena's cheeks as she cradled Kara's head in her lap, "I'm so sorry, Kara. I'm so sorry," she sobbed, her words a desperate plea for forgiveness.

Kara's hand weakly reached for Lena's face, her touch fading as her strength waned. "Lena," she whispered softly, her voice barely a whisper.

As Kara lay in Lena's arms, the light slowly fading from her eyes, Lena felt a surge of overwhelming guilt wash over her. She watched helplessly as the vibrant spark that had always defined Kara dimmed, replaced by the haunting shadow of death.

In that moment, as Kara's life slipped away before her very eyes, she realized with painful clarity how horribly she had treated Kara, how she had allowed her anger and bitterness to cloud her judgment, to blind her to the truth.

With aching regret, Lena wished she could turn back time, go back to that pivotal moment when Kara had offered her an apology, and accept it with open arms. She wished she could undo all the pain and betrayal, erase the choices that had led to this. Throughout everything, she had never once considered that she could lost Kara like this.

This was Kara, her Kara, the woman she loved more than anything in this world, and now she was losing her because of her own actions. How could she have let it come to this? How could she have been so blind, so stupidly angry?

It was as if Lena was finally snapping out of a trance, one fueled by anger and resentment, and now, faced with the devastating reality of Kara's imminent death, none of it meant anything. All she wanted was Kara back, safe and sound in her arms.

Through tear-streaked eyes, Lena leaned down and whispered those three words she had never dared to speak aloud before. "I love you," she confessed, her voice choked with emotion, her heart breaking with each syllable, "Please, please come back to me. I'm sorry."

But as Kara's life slipped away, Lena felt the crushing weight of her own guilt bear down upon her. She wished she could trade places with Kara, to undo the irreversible damage she had caused.

In that moment, as Kara drew her final breath, Lena wished she could die too, to escape the unbearable agony of her own making, to be reunited with the woman she had loved and lost.

She had nothing to live for anymore. And it was her own fault.

[cutiecusp]

Ignorance

Part Two to All i Wanted Was You, Phillip Price x Reader.

Time for Dear Reader to get on the warpath, avenge herself and her team against Phillips betrayal in Part One. Readers thoughts are in Orange

A mega thank you to everyone has been so kind about my writings!

TW, blood, violence, a character death (or two) pining, angst, gaslighting, slight kiss coercion. HEA! Its a long one, apologies!

....................................................................................................................

You took a deep breath before you step into the debrief room, where you know Soap and Ghost were waiting to talk to you. Gaz had excused himself, not ready to deal with the situation at hand.

Your ex husbands betrayal cut the team deeply, and you knew this was your chance to fix everything, if they would let you.

"Hey guys." you say tentatively, you met the steely gaze of Ghost, and the cool gaze of Soap, and kept your chin up.

"I understand-" you begin.

"Let us be crystal fucking clear. You may be innocent, but you will never understand." Ghost cuts you off. His deep voice seemingly fills the room, yet you refuse to bend under the intimidation.

"You are only here because John trusts you enough to do the right thing. I am not so easily convinced." He adds. He stands up, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"In fact, i think he might like you a little more than he lets on."

You look at Soap, who looks just as confused as you by the revelation.

'Surely not? Your Captain has never been anything other than professional with you, and you were a married woman, and there's a line you were sure he wouldn't cross, would he?'

You shake your head and go to the desk, crossing your legs at the ankle and using the wood for support.

"Hate me after the mission is over. Right now, the best case is we get Ale back, and the intel Graves has been holding for Shepherd." You shrug off, and put the file on the table.

"Aye, Bonnie. Pull this off and i'm sure we will all be friends again." You hear Soap say, and you are grateful for his attitude bridging the gap between you all.

After looking through the files, and making plans for the mission ahead, you leave the room to find Price, Ghosts words echoing in your brain.

You admittedly had a crush on the Captain before you met Phillip. It went nowhere, as you met the Shadow Commander shortly after. It was a whirlwind relationship, married within months, and it had consumed you, and him, you had thought.

'What if it was all a ruse? How much of it all was real to him?'

You found Price outside, the cherry red light of his cigar a pinpoint to where he was standing out in the courtyard.

"Mission briefed?" He asks, straight to the point. At your affirmation he sighs.

"This is a real fucked up situation." You admit, wrapping your arms around yourself and bracing your body against the cold.

"Permission to ask something personal, Sir?" you ask.

You hear Price tut as he shrugs his coat off and wraps it around your shoulders, you relax slightly as his cigar and signature scent envelope you.

'Ever the gentleman.'

"Go on." came the reply.

Your eyes met his nonchalant gaze, and your heart started beating a little faster.

"Ghost is under the impression you have feelings for me, Sir." you pause. "Any truth in that?"

A heavy silence clouds the area between you both, after a few minutes, you hear him clear his throat.

"I did, but It doesn't matter now, Sergeant. You still married someone else. We ship out in a few hours. Go get ready, and for the love of God, make sure your feelings for your ex husband are buried. Last thing we need is feelings getting in the way."

A few hours later, you were on the helicopter with the 141, Gaz and Soap talking between themselves was the only thing you could hear over the rotors. Price was deep in files, and Ghost was cleaning his knives. The weight of the mission sat heavy on you, but you needed the intel, and the mission always came first.

You nod, and head to the armoury to grab what you needed. Your mind clouded with this new revelation.

'What if I chose the wrong man at the wrong time.. could myself and John had something?'

You had noticed a few heated glances your way from your Captain, but you shrugged them off, he was right, you needed to get your head into the game.

"Two minutes until drop." Came the voice of your pilot. You stand up to move to the door, regrouping with your team, holding out a fist, you address the group.

"Let's get Ale, the Intel and get this mission done. You guys are the best for the job, and I'm sorry for my shit taste in men." You chuckle, bumping everyone's closed fists as the tension is broken between you all.

Landing into the location wasn't hard, but you knew the next part was more difficult. You had been advised that Graves was back collecting Intel in Mexico, and that he held Alejandro at a local jail. So you needed to split into two teams and retrieve your friend, and get the Intel from Graves.

You nod at Ghost and Price, who's accompanying you on the Intel retrieval, as you double-check your packs and head along the perimeter. The cool night air did nothing to calm the inner anger that was building up. Everything you thought you ever knew about your husband was a lie.

Stopping short, you manage to find a hole in the fence that was big enough for you to get through, and make bigger for your two larger teammates. Scaling along the closest building, you could hear a familiar American accent.

"I have the Intel you need, my wife isn't a concern anymore." You hear Graves tell someone one the phone.

He has the gall to laugh, and you feel your hands tighten around the grip of your pistol.

"Nah, she thinks she's divorcin' me but she will see, it's all part of a bigger plan. Mexico, the missiles.. all paints the 141 in a damning light, she will be back."

You make eye contact with the team and nod. Yoir job is to get Graves away from the room, while Price and Ghost take down targets and retrieve the laptop and files. You hear a few grunts as a few targets are immobilised, leaving the doorway clear.

You open the door and Graves turns around, his cocky grin taking up his face, heavy shadows under his eyes, and his usually neat hair has finger waves through it. A signal that this is a man on the edge.

"Well hey darlin'." He drawls, opening up his arms and walking towards you.

"Gonna reconsider leavin' me?"

You scoff, and raise your arm, holding your pistol in line with his forehead.

"Never." You whisper, your finger over the trigger, a slight pause in your actions.

Graves takes the moment you pause to attack, bending your wrist so you drop the pistol, the metal clattering to the floor. He sidesteps you, planting your body down to ground, and holding you under his boot.

"I didn't want it to end this way, sweetheart. Don't you see? This has all been for you? I wanted you to see what the 141 you cherish actually gets up too. I wanted you to join me.."

You roll away from him, scrambling for your knife, slicing his forearm as he reaches for you again. He pulls away, giving you a chance to stand.

"You betrayed me." You shout, anger coursing through you.

"I thought you loved me." You choke. Memories of your relationship flashing before your eyes.

Graves just smiles as he twirls your knife between his hands.

"Oh darlin' I don't believe you understand me. I do love you. I want the world for you, and by my side, you can have it."

He pulls you into his arms, wrapping his arms around your waist as you try and fight him off, but it's no good, his weight pushes you back to the floor, his hands move to your wrists as he straddles you, his face dangerously close to yours, his lips hovering over yours.

"You were always such a fiesty little thing. I wonder if this is what your captain thought about when he was alone at night. Your body under his, your lips close to his.. ripe for the taking."

You see a dangerous glint in his eye. While dominant, Phillip had never forced you into doing anything you didn't want to do, but this was different. You look into his eyes and see madness in them, and you take a deep breath. You'll have to play his game to be free.

"Why would I think about the captain. When I have you?" You say quietly, ignoring the bile that rises in your throat.

Graves pauses at that, his face searching yours for a lie.

You press your lips against his, and your mind floods with memories, your wedding night, your honeymoon, two passionate bodies under the stars. The intense kisses, the feel of each others skin.. its almost enough to make you forgive him. Almost.

Graves softens into the kiss, his right arm letting go of your wrist, as he cradles your head with his calloused hand.

"Be with me, and we can watch the world burn." He says softly, cupping your cheek with a tenderness you miss so much.

You mentally shake away the cloudiness, and use your forehead to force your head into his, breaking his nose, blood streaming down both your faces as he rips himself away from you.

"I should have known you would do this!" He restrains you, making you unable to move.

"I would have given you everything. EVERYTHING!" He shouts as he grapples with your body armor, picking you up by the chest and slamming you repeatedly against the concrete floor.

Your vision blurs as you feel his hands move to your throat, squeezing the breath out of you.

'This is it. I've failed.'

Using the last of your energy, you scramble for your thigh pocket for your emergency blade and manage to stab it into Graves thigh, allowing his grip to loosen, taking advantage of the power shift, you roll onto your side, gasping as you reclaim your breath.

Bloodied, and struggling to breathe, you get yourself onto your knees, and using all your strength, you spear his side with your knife, over and over, his screams filling the room.

Graves makes one last ditch to overpower you, wrenching the knife away, your eyes meeting for the last time, as you strike it home into his chest. A sharp pain pierces your chest as his lifeless body falling over you and pinning you to the floor.

You vaguely hear the door slam open, and footsteps race over to you both, but your exhausted mind can't keep your eyes open long enough to see if it's a friend or foe.

"It's okay, love. It's over." You hear John over the sound of blood rushing through your ears.

You feel the weight of the body on top of you get removed, as your eyes flutter open. You see John kneeling over you.

"I made it back to you." You hear him say, but the black spots in your vision, and your damaged throat made it difficult to reply.

"John, we need a medivac." You hear Ghost say, his deep voice thick with emotion.

"This isn't the way to convince me, Sergeant." He adds.

You feel hands on your chest, as your limbs grow weary.

"I got him." You croak out.

"Yeah, yeah you did love." Came John's reply.

"But he got you too."

You use your strength to look down, in the fight you hadn't noticed Graves had picked up your knife, and it was now protruding from your ribs.

Your glossy eyes meet John's, and you knew that this was it.

"I'm sorry, John." You manage to get out. "Ghost, I got us into this mess."

John takes off his gloves and smooths your hair out of your face.

"Now you listen here. We will get you out of here, we will get you patched up, and we will consider this mission successful, we clear?" He says, his voice thick with tears.

"I can't lose you."

You feel as if your body weighs a tonne, and all you want to do is close your eyes and rest, but deep down. You know this is the last time you'll see each other.

"John.. i-" you whisper.

You groan as you try and sit up, you can feel your body growing weaker due to the amount of blood you were losing.

"Kiss me, before I go." You say softly.

John's eyebrows raise, as he takes in what you've asked of him. Leaning forward, he presses his lips gently to yours, eliminating the kiss you had to give Graves. You could taste his cigar, and the peppermints he always chewed on missions and you let out a contented sigh before your eyes close for good.

Your body grew cold and your eyes lost focus as he held you close for the first, and last time.

'I wish I could have lived another life. If I got to be with you again.'

A/N THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO EXPLORE!?!?! I am so sorry it waffled on a bit though? Let me know what you guys think 💜💜💜

@going-to-ikea-for-the-fries @xoxunhinged @misshugs @kneelingshadowsalome

[ally-kat13]

Making story descriptions for future books i will write in heathers ships

jderonica: Veronica has a perfect life after what happened in 1989. a daughter named jane of her own. even a husband. but lets ignore the fact that her husband is in jail and her daughter sees the ghost of a girl in red. veronica's husband jd would break out of jail searching for veronica and his daughter he didn't know about until last year. its up to veronica to either fight her demons and face the problem or run away again with her daughter.

chansaw: its been three years after the incident of westerburg high, jd blew up the school but not before veronica shot him dead, sadly she couldn't save the school, or her lover heathe chandler. the storys goes back and forth between the feelings of heather and veronica in 1989 and the present time of veronica being arrested in 1992 and being haunted by her ex lover, and we're not talking about jd.

dukesaw: heather duke, grew up in a small town before moving to sherwood ohio, where she met heather mcnamara who got her into the heathers. soon enough after the years went by of abuse from chandler to duke, veronica would join. soon heather would feel envy of being favored by heather over her but soon a different feeling approches.

mcnawyer: it had been a year after the demise of jd and the faked suicides of heather, kurt and ram. veronica would be on the verge of losing it, swearing to see the ghosts of heather and jd all the time. the only person left by her side is heather and whats heather to do when her crush is becoming crazy?

chandean: what if heather and jd had been friends in kindergarten before he had to move away? and what if they had something for each other which would return when jd came back to sherwood years later. how could heather stand these feelings for a nobody and how could veronica sweep him away. but what happens when jd's hatred boils over his hidden love for heather? will she be fed drain cleaner or will they come back together after all these years?

jduke: what if after the breakup of veroinca and jd, jd need some assistance of blowing up the school, thats when he would ask heather duke. he knew heather had a twisted side, being happy after heather died, even wishing for her death. so what happens when they blow up the school together and run away when heather can finally be a goddess to our love is god.

jdmara: maybe veronica wasn't the one who approached jd and it was heather mcnamara who approached him. but after what happened heather would have run away, and changed her name and rode up to seattle. jd wouldn't be far behind, looking for his lover but what happens when he finds her. all the torture comes back as heather attempts suicide while jd is left to pick up the pieces.

chanduke: the backstory of heather duke, how the heather became friends, how duke was knew and mcnamara welcomed her, heather chandler felt something she shouldn't have felt, not for a girl. so what is she to do? well bully her till she can't take it no more. but as heather duke starts to rise up heather chandler starts to fall down. it was heathers plan all along, dethrone the queen but what happens when heather dies and duke is left to figure out her feelings.

chandlmara: heather mcnamara, heather chandler, two rich popular, perfect girls. but with one tiny secret, they're in love with each other. they can deny it by kissing a hundred boys in bars but they can't fight the feelings for each other, so what happens when heather mcnamara is exposed as a lesbian to everyone and its left to heather to save heather from her mental problems and her denial of feelings

mcduke: a story about lust, suicide, love, and betrayal. heather duke and heather mcnamara were once friends, and they did everything together but maybe their friendship went beyond their average kind of bond. but when heather duke rises to the top thanks to jd and heather sinks to the bottom, heather would betrayal heather by killing herself, not thinking she would try to do it. thank god veronica stopped her but its only up to heather to swallow her pride and make it up to heather before heather bites the bullet.

[henrysglock]

Do you think Virginia genuinely loved Henry? Or was she just full of hatred and fear for him the whole time?

I think Virginia was an ill-equipped mother who loved Henry passively at best. I think she loved Henry, but not enough to save him—which is to say that she loved the Henry she knew before things went wrong, she loved the Henry who was a "normal" boy who was easy to love, but she didn't love Henry as a whole enough to stand up for the version of him who came after things went wrong.

It's similar, in my mind, to Karen telling Mike that he can tell her anything/she's there for him in S1, but then once the trauma starts affecting him and he begins to act out in S2, she's punishing him instead of actively trying to help him. In fact, Virginia does essentially the same thing in the first act of TFS. She asks Henry if he's hearing things again, and initially he lies and says no. When he tries to change his answer and be honest with her, she talks over him and tells him to just repeat his mantra about being normal.

Both Karen and Virginia extend that olive branch; They both do the "right" thing. Neither of them make good on it, though. Virginia still ignores the Mindflayer in the room and blames Henry for his misbehavior; Karen still ignores the trauma of losing Will and punishes Mike for his misbehavior. Neither of them actually try to help in any meaningful way. Just like Virginia with Henry, Karen doesn't know everything about what's going on with Mike...but she doesn't try to, either. At least, not the way Joyce does when she notices Will is acting off. Virginia would rather stick her head in the sand and continue pretending Henry isn't afflicted with something so that she can keep her sweet, normal little boy; Karen would rather stick her head in the sand and continue pretending everything is normal so that she can keep her sweet, normal little boy.

Neither of them take any steps to help their sons, though, and that speaks to a lack of active love. They love their boys passively—performatively, even. They love what their boys are to them, and they're concerned with keeping the status quo rather than facing some ugly truths to do what's best for their sons, even if it's unpleasant.

I do think this is something that will translate from TFS into filmed canon. I don't believe Virginia is a sadist or anything, I don't think she starts out wanting to do Henry harm, but I do believe she prioritizes herself over Henry. By the end of her story, she no longer cares about Henry in any meaningful way.

Virginia's normalcy, her image, and her ease of life have always come first over Henry's safety and well-being, and that manifests in her doing the ultimate harm: enthusiastically giving him over to Brenner on a silver platter.

So while I do think there was love there, I don't believe it was ever unconditional, and it certainly wasn't enough to keep her from betraying/abandoning Henry when things got dicey.

Also, something slightly tangential that I was discussing with Wilbur last night—I don't think Henry had any intentions of harming Virginia. I think her hot-and-cold behavior re: loving him and her ultimate betrayal were what culminated in her death at the hands of the Mindflayer specifically because of that weakening love and trust between them.

It was fairly clear that Henry was still looking for that love and security in her even in Act 2, when he watches her talking to Brenner about re-capturing him. Henry still believes—or at least hopes—that Virginia will take his side. The attack happens shortly after. Breaches of trust and love lost are what breaks Henry's resolve/weakens him against the Mindflayer—just the same as love strengthens Will against the Mindflayer.

I agree wholeheartedly with Louis' statement that Henry was a boy who loved his mother (which is reaffirmed via the VR game).

I believe Henry loved and trusted Virginia right up until the moment he absolutely could not do so anymore—and I don't think her death came about by Henry's volition. See: "Will" choking Joyce out when she's hurting him with the heat in S2. It's a similar deal, just emotional. Will didn't want Joyce dead. He didn't want to hurt her at all. He couldn't keep the Mindflayer at bay, though. I would argue the same for Henry.