#henry and virginia fuck me up man

[henrysglock]

Do you think Virginia genuinely loved Henry? Or was she just full of hatred and fear for him the whole time?

I think Virginia was an ill-equipped mother who loved Henry passively at best. I think she loved Henry, but not enough to save him—which is to say that she loved the Henry she knew before things went wrong, she loved the Henry who was a "normal" boy who was easy to love, but she didn't love Henry as a whole enough to stand up for the version of him who came after things went wrong.

It's similar, in my mind, to Karen telling Mike that he can tell her anything/she's there for him in S1, but then once the trauma starts affecting him and he begins to act out in S2, she's punishing him instead of actively trying to help him. In fact, Virginia does essentially the same thing in the first act of TFS. She asks Henry if he's hearing things again, and initially he lies and says no. When he tries to change his answer and be honest with her, she talks over him and tells him to just repeat his mantra about being normal.

Both Karen and Virginia extend that olive branch; They both do the "right" thing. Neither of them make good on it, though. Virginia still ignores the Mindflayer in the room and blames Henry for his misbehavior; Karen still ignores the trauma of losing Will and punishes Mike for his misbehavior. Neither of them actually try to help in any meaningful way. Just like Virginia with Henry, Karen doesn't know everything about what's going on with Mike...but she doesn't try to, either. At least, not the way Joyce does when she notices Will is acting off. Virginia would rather stick her head in the sand and continue pretending Henry isn't afflicted with something so that she can keep her sweet, normal little boy; Karen would rather stick her head in the sand and continue pretending everything is normal so that she can keep her sweet, normal little boy.

Neither of them take any steps to help their sons, though, and that speaks to a lack of active love. They love their boys passively—performatively, even. They love what their boys are to them, and they're concerned with keeping the status quo rather than facing some ugly truths to do what's best for their sons, even if it's unpleasant.

I do think this is something that will translate from TFS into filmed canon. I don't believe Virginia is a sadist or anything, I don't think she starts out wanting to do Henry harm, but I do believe she prioritizes herself over Henry. By the end of her story, she no longer cares about Henry in any meaningful way.

Virginia's normalcy, her image, and her ease of life have always come first over Henry's safety and well-being, and that manifests in her doing the ultimate harm: enthusiastically giving him over to Brenner on a silver platter.

So while I do think there was love there, I don't believe it was ever unconditional, and it certainly wasn't enough to keep her from betraying/abandoning Henry when things got dicey.

Also, something slightly tangential that I was discussing with Wilbur last night—I don't think Henry had any intentions of harming Virginia. I think her hot-and-cold behavior re: loving him and her ultimate betrayal were what culminated in her death at the hands of the Mindflayer specifically because of that weakening love and trust between them.

It was fairly clear that Henry was still looking for that love and security in her even in Act 2, when he watches her talking to Brenner about re-capturing him. Henry still believes—or at least hopes—that Virginia will take his side. The attack happens shortly after. Breaches of trust and love lost are what breaks Henry's resolve/weakens him against the Mindflayer—just the same as love strengthens Will against the Mindflayer.

I agree wholeheartedly with Louis' statement that Henry was a boy who loved his mother (which is reaffirmed via the VR game).

I believe Henry loved and trusted Virginia right up until the moment he absolutely could not do so anymore—and I don't think her death came about by Henry's volition. See: "Will" choking Joyce out when she's hurting him with the heat in S2. It's a similar deal, just emotional. Will didn't want Joyce dead. He didn't want to hurt her at all. He couldn't keep the Mindflayer at bay, though. I would argue the same for Henry.

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

BAU team x LGBTQ + Teen reader

So it's pride month so of course im going to write a oneshot about teen reder making everyone go to Pride with them becuase i dint nearly see enough of these on here.

summary:  It's pride Month and the reader wlaks in to the teams work and demands that they all come to pride with them to celebrate.

Y/N - They/Them pronouns using (any Sexuality)

My headcannons for the team

Hotch

- Bisexual

- definitely Trans (FtM)

-Demisexual as well (loves Haley and obviously had a baby with her)

Rossi

- Biromantic (apart from 3 wifes he definitely experimented with men in his youth)

- Gives the best Dad/Grandad hugs at pride

-Is proud of his Queer children

Spencer

- Bisexual

- Genderfluid (he's my baby he has to be Genderfluid)

-Asexual

Derek Morgan

- Biromantic (hasnt done anything Sexual with a man before because of buford (Bastard)

Emily

- do you have to ask obviously a fucking raging lesbian (definitely had a crush on JJ at some point)

JJ

- Bisexual but is in a committed relationship with Will, had a crush on Emily at some point( I ship them okay)

Penelope Garcia

- Pansexual and Panromantic very open about who she is and is very happy

-Demigirl she still feels like a girl but also not uses She/They pronouns.

(these are my headcannons it's okay if you don't agree woth them just don't come at me in the comments!!)

Third person pov...

It was the first of June which meant Pride Month! Y/N had been excited about it all year, they couldn't wait to get thr team to go to a Pride Parade with them and to celebrate it all together.

Y/N themselves was Non-binary and (What Sexuality you are) and are very proud to be it, they are always seen wearing their pronouns badge and Non-binary pin.

Y/N was making their way to the FBI building, in their hands were mini pride flags and stickers for all their friends, once they got to the floor they skipped out of the elevator and into the bullpen.

The team didn't see them so they quickly began putting each team members flags into their pen pots. Bisexual, Asexual and Genderfluid for Spencer. Biromantic to Derek. Bisexual for JJ. Lesbian for Emily.

As Rossi, Hotch and Penelope all had offices Y/N lefts their flags outside the doors and knocked so they saw them, once the Teen was done they went to the round table and sat on a chair waiting for the team to notice them.

A couple minutes later all 7 members wondered into the room, smiling when they see the teen not expecting them to be there. Once everyone was sitting Y/N stood up.

"Okay guys as you know it's Pride Month, which means Virginia is having its Pride Parade and I was wondering if you'd like to go to it with me?" They ask nervously, they had never asked the team anything to do woth pride even though they had been out as Non-binary to them for years.

Thw first perosn to speak was Penelope they squealed and stood up a giant smile on her face. She then reached out and hugged Y/N tightly. "Of course we will sweetie, won't we giys?" She says making then other all say yes and take turns hugging Y/N.

After they had finished hugging Y/N the teen began ruffling through their bag again and pulled out pin badges for everyone with their flags on. "For you guys I have mine" they say pointing to their Non-binary pin and (Y/S) badge proudly.

Once everyone had theirs, they all went back to work, the pride parade wasn't until that Saturday.

Timeskip...

It was Saturday morning and Y/N was awake and doing their make up for pride, once they were done they left their house and made their way to the middle of town where the team was waiting.

JJ had brought Henry and Will, Hotch also had Henry with him, Y/N was happy to see them all wearing something to do with their flags.

Penelope was decked out in the colours of the Pan flag and had a small demigirl flag painted on their face.

Hotch had a Bisexual flag on his face and a trans flag in his hand, he also had a Demisexual flag pinned to his tshit, Jack was holding a small pride flag in his hand a hug grin on his face.

Y/N almost cried at what Rossi was wearing, it was a tshirt that read 'Free Dad hugs' Y/N laughed when they saw 'Grand' written infront of the Dad part definitely Morgan or Emily's doing, he also had a small Biromantic flag painted on his face.

Spencer was wearing the Asexual colours, had a Bisexual flag tied to their shoulders and had the Genderfluid flag painted on his cheek, he too had a huge smile on his face.

Derek had a Biromantic flag on his cheek and was wearing the Bi colours definitely Penelopes doing.

Emily had the lesbian flag painted on her face and the Lesbian flag tied around her shoulder proudly.

JJ had a Bisexual flag painted on her face, Will was wearing a tshirt that read 'I love my Bi wife' which was cute and little Henry was holding a rainbow flag like Jack.

"You all look amazing!" Exclaimed the teen, very happy to see the team in the spirit, they really thought they wouldn't wear anything especially Hotch. "Let's go enjoy the parade!" They yelled before running into the park.

The park itself was filled with people who were there celebrating pride and wearing their flags. Rossi got so many hugs from teens who got kicked out or aren't supported by their parents which made the old man cry.

They stayed in the park until the parade was starting one it did the team all joined in and took any pictures together to remember the day they had.

By the end the kids had fallen asleep, Jack and Henry had gotten alot of stickers and were covered in them, Y/N was scrolling through their phone smiling at all the pictures and videos they took together.

Before everyone left they stood up and turned to all 7 of them. "Thank you all for doing this with me I had alot of fun" they said making the Adults smile at the teen.

"Of course Y/N, your our kid how could we not do this together" Hotch says making the teen tear up, thw teen then hugs the man tightly to hugs them back

It truly was an amazing day for everyone.

The end!

Hoped you liked thus oneshot, I've been meaning to write thus for days but didn't have any ideas but now here it is.

As always sorry for the grammar and Spelling mistakes. Request are open!

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Word count: 1163

[noyoucannotpushthevoid]

Back on my Bullshit: Blue and Her Boys as Quotes from my Dnd Groups

"I roll acrobatics to climb aboard" - anyone trying to get into the backseat of the pig "Sorry [Henry], there's not enough [mice] to go around" - Ronan sharing baby mice with everyone but Henry "Going in for another whack-a-mole" - Lynch brothers fighting "[Ronan] is a beefcake, alright?" - Hennessey hyping up Ronan "He is longer than the hole is wide" - Jesse Diddley and his cave "[Kavinsky] has one goal and it is to plunder and loot" "There's only one word for that: adequate" - Adam doing staff reviews at work "You take his bedroll and do a happy little leprechaun dance back to your tent" - Ronan stealing stuff from Declan as a child "First the voices, then the bedroll not existing" - Adam being so so tired that he starts to lose stuff "It's fucking library time" - Adam and Gansey "You would have the basketball hoop hamper" - Ronan to Noah who would have a basketball hoop hamper "Romantic hold, you mean uppies" - Ronan making fun of the height difference between Gansey and Blue "Would win: Squirrel or large haldron collider" - Ronan  "[Noah] can still experience terminal velocity" - Gansey trying to convince Ronan not to throw Noah out the window again "Welcome to costco for drugs" - Kavinsky "'You can't lick me' (Noah) 'Is that a challenge?' (Ronan)" "Hey boys, how do you feel about summoning satan tonight?" - Neeve "Bug satan bug satan bug satan" - if you know you know, you know? "As yes, these heathens who read" - Ronan bored watching everyone else do their homework "I mean pricking my finger is pretty simple" - Adam “He’s now nice and damp and gross smelling” - Ronan after tennis/Gansey after rowing “[Gansey]! Is! Caked! Up!” - Henry “No! [Adam], give me your body” - Cabeswater “Your brain is so smooth, I could shine it” - Adam at other students “[Gansey], be our dad” “My pronouns are gay/them” - Ronan any time someone assumes he’s straight “He might just be a little guy, but he can’t sit with us” - Ronan about Henry “You get one rizz between the three of you” - That first night at Ninos when Adam asked Blue out "yea, baby's first flail! let's go!" - Ronan when Chainsaw picks up a knife for the first time “There’s no longer strange creatures in his shirt” - Chainsaw being old enough that Ronan doesn’t have to secretly bring her to school anymore “I wasn’t paying attention because I was too excited about Excel Spreadsheets” - Gansey “The spirit bong” - Noah “I guess you could smoke ectoplasm if you REALLY want to” - The rest of the gang trying to figure out how Noah would smoke as a ghost "all of the hazing is horse themed" - Hazing at Aglionby in bumfuck Virginia "Some people have never been severely mentally ill, and it shows" - Ronan “Magic exists and Big [Declan] doesn’t want you to know about it” - Declan not telling Ronan about the Fairy Market “Don’t be rude-phobic” - Henry when someone’s mean to Ronan "Do better next time white man" - This could be either Blue or Henry, but the white man in question is Gansey regardless

[fetchmearum420]

How 1776 characters would react to you asking them how they are:

John Adams: ah well. I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, that two are called a law firm, and that three or more become a congress. And by God, I have had this Congress! For ten years King George and his Parliament have gulled, cullied, and diddled these Colonies with their illegal taxes--Stamp Acts, Townshend Acts, Sugar Acts, Tea Acts--and when we dared stand up like men they stopped our trade, seized our ships, block- aded our ports, burned our towns, and spilled our blood- and still this Congress won't grant any of my proposals on Independence even so much as the courtesy of open debate! Good God, what in hell are they waiting for? Oh, how about you?

Benjamin Franklin: I am fine, just sitting here being preserved for posterity. And yourself?

Thomas Jefferson: I’m alright, just missing my wife. And you?

John Dickinson: I want to fucking kill John Adams that’s how I am.

John Hancock: I’m fed up with this damn congress. FUCK NEW YORK! How about you?

Charles Thompson: I can’t read through the resolution without an interruption :(

Edward Rutledge: I WAS annoyed, but now I’m happy cuz I got my way.

James Wilson: I’m sad because I don’t think Johns in love with me :(

Dr. Lyman Hall: I’m doing well, thank you. And you?

Stephen Hopkins: can you get me a rum before I tell you?

Roger Sherman: I’m angry cuz there isn’t anymore coffee :(

John Witherspoon: I am doing extremely well my dear friend. And what about you?

Richard Henry Lee: I AM DOING GLAD-LEE AND I AM HAPPI-LEE ACCEPTING THE POSITION OF GOVERNOR IN VIRGINIA! And you darling?

Thomas McKean: What do you mean man? Can’t you see I am bloody depressed by Washington’s stupid dispatches?

Caesar Rodney: *is dead*

George Read: NO NO NO!!!

Samuel Chase: Don’t ask me this while I’m eating!

Josiah Bartlett: I banned all horse racing and gambling so I’m happy. And you?

Lewis Morris: I abstain, courteously because I don’t know how to answer that. But I guess I’m sad.

Andrew McNair: Sweet Jesus I’m annoyed with everyone.

Robert Livingston: MY WIFE JUST HAD A SON SO I AM GOING HOME TO CELEBRATE AND POP A CORK WITH ALL THE LIVINGSTONS TOGETHER BACK IN OLD NEW YORK!

Courier: Momma can’t find me here :(

Abigail Adams: Oh thank you for asking, I’m doing just fine. How about you?

Martha Jefferson: I’m afraid I’m not feeling too well, but thanks for asking.

Joseph Hewes: I want to go fishing.

Leather apron: *can’t speak*

BONUS:

George Washington: I have been in expectation of receiving a reply, on the subject of my last 15 dispatches. Is anybody there? Does anybody care? Does anybody care?

[concoulor]

so in the version of this show that exists in my head starting after s2 ends:

-libby breaks it off with bill, telling him she knows about the affair. she takes a nice trip around the world to learn more about what she wants from life, leaving the kids with bill’s mom. bill denies it at first, but feels guilty about it and about denying it. I’d like to think he apologizes but I’m not sure he would tbh. she chews his ass out for being a shitty father and for having the affair and for not being present in their marriage-- all her feelings about it come out finally in a moment of catharsis

-ginny realizes it’s not so bad not having the kids--she misses them a lot but there’s a sense of relief also that she doesn’t have to run home/isn’t missing tucking them in etc. maybe she and george and his new wife spend some time together and she comes to see that they are better off (she’s not a very good mom lol so she should have an arc where she fully gives into that because obviously work is more important to her)

-the study is progressing everything goes well for a little while, they’re getting really into trying to fuck over the other study and ethan

-ginny finds out bill caused her to sign away the kids (not sure how but there has to be a way just trust me) which makes her push him away for a longer period. during this they both go through some serious self reflection (here’s where bill would apologize to libby; virginia would wobble in her stance that her children are better off, there’s big tension in the office at work. there’s a couple scenes of henry and tessa with virginia and it’s happy enough, but by having them less she can finally admit she kind of likes it when they aren’t there both for her own guilt, for their benefit, and so she can keep doing whatever she wants at all hours. and she fully accepts that she would rather hang out with bill than mother them which is her version of admitting love for him)

-bill apologizes to ginny about the kids/makes it clear he really didn’t mean to do that, the apology is not an explicit i love you but virginia understands what he’s trying to say (recalling how she’s able to anticipate bill’s needs)

-bill and ginny get together fully. imo it’s not a big event they just keep doing what they’re doing but bill gets to come to her house now.

-antics ensue when bill is forced to spend time with virginia’s children (maybe he can think back to the fight with libby about their kids and make a very small effort with them for once, or maybe not.)

-lester and barbara keep doing what theyre doing with their weird little dynamic

-there was never a brother because i thought that was stupid and shoehorned in there

-artemis iasip’s character (flo?) makes austin a wealthy man until he ends up chasing the next pretty skirt but they leave it on good terms

-betty and helen have a shot or two of them as a couple just as the show is ending to wrap it up (i thought it was implied they were together again in s2 we just didn’t see it so that would confirm it)

-the study is on the cusp of new breakthroughs and it’s going really well but the show ends before we see what happens with it (because we don’t need to know really)

[adultswim2021]

Saul of the Mole Men #16: “Poor Clancy's Almanack” | June 9, 2007 - 12:00AM | S01E16

Huh, so that’s what Young Person’s Guide was a spin-off of. Okay.

In this episode Clancy reveals all: 200 years ago, when Clancy was a younger man, he burrowed up to the surface and met Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, who were feuding over some disagreement related to, uh, the stones? Maybe? And… okay, honestly? I have no FUCKING CLUE what really even happened here. There was an envelope. Clancy dug upwards and gave it to Ben Franklin. Ben Franklin taught Clancy about life on the surface. Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin fought over something using words and terms that were altogether foreign to me; I think they were words meant to describe the mother rock which was revealed at the end of the episode. Oh yeah, the envelope was given to Clancy by the Godly Saul figure from the burning man episode. Yes, Mole Man land has more than one god, apparently, and then there’s also the Mother Rock, the big rock that all of earth descended from as per Saul’s personal theory. 

We find out the origin of the magical gems; Ben Franklin gave them to Clancy after succumbing to his injuries after Thomas Jefferson pummeled him. Thomas Jefferson is portrayed here as an uncouth, blood-thirsty maniac. Ben Franklin gives the stones to Clancy and tells him to hide one deep in the bowels of Indochina, and one in the mountains of West Virginia. The show reminds us that the Saul found his original stone while on vacation in Indochina, and that the other one he received from John Henry, which was said to have been found in West Virginia. 

So apparently the method of storytelling here is to be intentionally confusing, and reveal that the weird words Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson were using were referring to the mother rock and stuff. Back in the present, the Bird Bat King takes the stones and opens a door in the cave, revealing the mother rock, and two holes where the magic stones would go. He throws them in the hole. Something is about to happen. End episode. 

I’m a little flabbergasted that this episode spawned an entire spin-off. Well, “entire” might be a stretch; it was turned into a glorified half-hour special when the four completed episodes were deemed not suitable for air. It’s not particularly good, but it is a mild change of pace for the show. The only nice thing I can say about this show as a whole (and it applies to this episode as well) is that it seemed like it was pretty fun to make. It’s just a shame that the writing couldn’t save it.

[void-speaks]

Me me me me me 🖐 I wanna speculate ☝️

So we know for certain that Jason and Roller Ricky were attacked by Marie, while Maurice and Murphy were attacked by Henry.

If we assume, that every time we see the Whistling Man in person that it's Henry, then that means that Deputy Martinez and Leslie were attacked by Marie, and Sheriff Matthews was killed by her. It's also because Forrest can ask "that's why you killed the Sheriff?" to Marie. And while "you" could mean her specifically and her and Henry, from the timeline we know it's Marie, since Sheriff's Office is a good distance away from KFAM.

Next, if we consider that little to no time passed between those two calls, then Sandra was attacked by Henry. She was out jazz running at the edge of town, and that is a lot of distance Marie had to cross to attack her, especially after being tased. Plus, that specific Whistling Man had a knife, and Henry also has a knife.

Then there goes Maurice, who we know for sure was attacked by Henry since Marie can scold Forrest for "locking my sweet boy up like an animal".

So if, again, we assume that the model of the Whistler is Henry, then that means he escaped the secret archive almost right away. KFAM and Gallows Reporter are pretty close by. So, let's assume that Marie helped Henry, handed him that tape and they went different directions.

Next up is Virginia and Eugene. So, it couldn't be the same Whistling Man, the calls had like, maybe 10 minutes max difference between them, and from what I can tell Virginia was far away from the Mazie Maze. I'm going to assume that Virginia was attacked by Henry, since he got scared off by a big crowd of people.

So therefore, Eugene was attacked by Marie. If at the end you ask "is that why you went after Eugene" it's like the situation with the Sheriff. "You" could very well mean them both in general, or Marie specifically. I'm gonna choose to think that it was Marie because she went after Peggy since their parents are dead, which seems fucked up enough for her to go after the kid.

Next is Murphy, and we know Murphy was attacked by Henry since Forrest will comment something like "and Murphy- he did fight a man!", plus, it further proves that it would be more logical if Marie attacked Eugene and Henry attacked Virginia. Between those calls 40 or so minutes passed, and that's way too much time for it to be Marie - she was nearby. While, with Henry, it would make sense since Virginia seemed to be on the west-south part of the city, while the Plant is north-east.

Then Carrie and the teens. I mean, it has to be Marie, right? I didn't figure out where the "old murder house is", but judging how violent the killer was with Jimmy who ridiculed Carrie for getting scared of "a prank", and spared Carrie, a young teenage girl who was scared by her friends pretending to be the Whistling Man- I mean, that does seem something very personal that Marie would get triggered by? And then, okay, let's say the old murder house is supposedly near the cemetery, or generally in the west part of the city, then Marie would be closer by. Plus, the attack itself (and Jimmy's death) happened right after Carrie was gonna mention that those pranks are stupid "especially after that one kid-". So I'm certain it was Marie. Plus, based on the fact that she went after Eugene, it won't be a far stretch to say she would murder Jimmy too.

Now, here comes the one I really can't figure out. Chuck Brody. I genuinely have no idea who blew up the gas station. It could have been either of them, since they were both nearby. Henry was last seen at KFAM and Marie was somewhere in the woods when she left Carrie. There's woods pretty much everywhere. But, I'm gonna say that it was Marie, since it looks like for the past few hours Henry has been hanging out at KFAM. Now, it would make more sense if the old murder house where Carrie was was somewhere on the east side of the city, then it would take some time to get to the gas station, find something to blow it up with and all that. But generally, it could be either of them. Initially I just assumed it was Henry since he lit the plant on fire and has been pretty destructive overall, knocking shit over and stuff. Or it could have been both of them, who knows.

Then Roller Ricky, he was for sure attacked by Marie, we know that from the plot twist unfolding where the Whistling Man (one of them) is revealed to be a woman - Dawn.

And finally, we have Jason. We know for certain it was Marie, since Forrest can say "so tonight you stabbed him for real?!" and this one is definitely directed at Marie. Plus, the Whistler said "it's not so funny now, is it?", which is a reference to Jason playing the stabbed friend on the night of the prank. Marie comments on that too in the interview with Forrest. I don't think Henry would: 1. Speak; 2. Know the specifics of what happened that night. Sure, he might now that it was Teddy's fault, that it was a prank and all that, but I don't think he knows everything down to specifics of who was playing who and stuff.

And that's pretty much it.

So, in general, we have:

Marie - 19-20 victims, 3 killed (not including Carrie's unnamed friends, but including Clive, Teddy, Peggy and the possibility of her attacking the gas station)

Henry - 4-5 victims, none killed (including the possibility of him attacking the gas station)

The reason why I included Clive into Marie's kill list, is because I think she would want to kill him personally, since he, along with Teddy, played one of the biggest roles in the cover up. And I know I said that this is based off of the assumption that the model in the game is Henry. Hear me out. We have seen Henry actually murder (in the worst ending where he murders Forrest) and that moment with Clive in the beginning didn't look like a murder, more so a kidnapping. So basically I think that Henry just fetched Clive for his mom.

Also, the reason why I differentiate between victims and killed, is because of the good ending where all callers live. So, for sure we know only some of the murdered: Clive, Sheriff Mathews, Jimmy and Carrie's unnamed friends. Unless of course the dead friends that Carrie mentioned earlier were the same as Jason - playing dead to scare her.

Which, logically, it doesn't make sense that Marie did most of the killing and attacking. I mean, I guess she just wanted revenge that bad, but it would make sense to let Henry do more of the killing, since he seems to be strong and fast (based on all his attacks and Sandra's comment about him). Which, it makes me believe Henry didn't give much of a shit about the revenge plan, or what happened 20 years ago, and he's just following whatever his mom says.

Is there anything that says which victim went to which killer? Or does anyone wanna speculate with me because it’s fun.

[torotoro0]

⟬ Childhood Comrades ⟭

Henry Creel x Reader

Chapter 1

[Click this for the chapters]

Summary: Born with the wealth anyone can just dream of. Big house, luxury cars, lots of toys, dresses, getting in rich schools, etc. Then a new neighbor came in, you plan to make friends with their children, but there's this one particular creepy kid that caught your attention.

A/N: I read a story like this. {idk how to tag(˘･_･˘) } Her fanfic inspired me to write one like hers( ◜‿◝ )♡

Word count: 1.3K words.

Summer break...

1959

Hawkins, Indiana 6:00 p.m.

It was summer break for your school, everyone was on vacation, leaving their houses for weeks, children's excited screams in your neighborhood, teens driving their cars, typical summer days.

You? lying on the sofa for God knows how long. Your family was branded as one of the richest people on the list, people nor police officers dare to speak ill behind your backs as they would face severe punishments in return.

"I heard we have a new neighbor coming today" I get up, "Oh, yes, yes, we do have, I heard they were also listed as a wealthy family too." Diane laughs.

"Shouldn't we give them a something as a welcoming gift?" She leans to my father.

After mother died, father has been collecting gold-digging sluts from around the town. Party here and party there. It seems that mother was the only one working for their relationship. Diane was the only one that stayed long and even considered me as her daughter.

"I'll come." I approach them. Diane looks at me.

"That's a very good idea, I'll bake them a cake while Y/N can give it to them!" she beams. I only volunteered to do this seeing that I have nothing to do in this hell hole.

{Holy Time Skip}

"Here" Diane hands me a home-made cake of hers. "Make sure to be polite to them ok?" She pats my head. Diane sure looks mesmerizing on the outside ,but, if I don't be careful, she can stab me in the back and all I know is that I am now in the streets begging for food and pennies.

"Sure, sure". I proceed to head to the designated target, their house was just 5 blocks from us, It was huge but not too huge that it'll surpass mine. ╰（‵□′）╯

The house was colored blue with white as the secondary color. It had a fancy parking lot, and a big backyard with a playground as the front yard.

~Ding, Dong~ ╰(*°▽°*)╯

"Oh? good evening darling" A woman appeared before me, most likely in her 30's.

She has a short auburn colored hair with a headband secured to it, wearing a baby blue dress that sways when a breeze comes by. Blue eyes that shimmers upon the moonlight.

"Are you okay little girl?" she waves her hands. "O-oh I'm sorry, this-" I show her the cake, "This is a welcoming gift from my..".

"My mom" I internally cringe as it left my mouth. "Oh thank you dear, this looks delicious, why don't you come in?" she opens the door wider. "Oh, no need Mrs. ?"

"Virginia, Virginia Creel" She shakes my hand. "No need for that Mrs. Creel" I chuckle.

"It's getting late, I just needed to give it to you" "Well- if you insist, but please visit us again, I'd love to introduce my children to you" She waves goodbye and closes the door.

↞•••••↠

"So how was it?" Father glances to me. "It was fine." I replied. "Give me the details" He flips a page of his newspaper.

"The lady that handled the cake was nice to me, she was so pretty." Diane chuckles. "Did she like my cake?". "She did, she looked so happy.."

"She looks like mothe-". Before I could even finish, ather intruded.

"Don't ever mention her in front of me" he grips my mouth along with my chin. Tears threaten to slide down my eyes but I won't let it, no one wants a person who just cries easily as babies does.

"Understand?" He tightens his hold. "Father-.. It hurts-" I stammer.

"DO.YOU.UNDERSTAND!" He retorted. Fucking bitch. I thought.

"Y-yes father" I quickly nod. "Go to your room before I do anything worse" he loosens his grip.

"Old fucking man has the guts to do that" I hissed as I run upstairs.

"You didn't have to do that hun" Diane consoled.

He has been like this ever since mother died, Whoever mentions her or even at least describes her in some way he'll get mad just like now.

I lie down my bed and slowly drift of to wonderland.

{Time Skip}

7:34 a.m.

Hawkins, Indiana. L/N Estate. {Note: Think of anything you want to wear but in the 1950's era dynamic}

I woke up in a good mood whilst what happened last night. I groggily stand up and made my way to clothe myself. I wore my usual attire in this hot summer.

I went down and was met with a sight of a bountiful breakfast. "Oh? Good Morning Y/N" Diane wipes her hands on her apron.

"Morning" I yawn. "Your Father went to a business trip". "What? why so sudden?" I scratch my head.

"Yes, I was also shocked that the office called last night, they said it was urgent" she says as she hands me a piece of bread. "Thanks" I really love it when Diane cooks for us, her food tastes like a 100 star restaurant. q(≧▽≦q)

"By the way.." She looks at me "Hm?"

"I have to go somewhere later, so you'll have to take care of yourself".

"Sure. But when will you be back?"

"I'll be home at 4 afternoon, make sure to eat ok?" I nod.

~~

"Goodbye" I wave. I continue to watch her as she disappears from my sight.

"I'm bored!" A girl's voice complained. "Then go play with your dolls" then a boy's voice chimes in. I peek through the thin hedges between the houses and saw two children. One playing with dolls and another one reading a book on a swing.

"Children.." I smirk.

I sneak behind the boy's back just to make sure he doesn't run away the moment he sees me.

"Hello" I pat the his shoulder. He turns around with a small frown plastered on his face.

"What's your name?" Damn, I sound like a kidnapper, I thought.

"Why would I tell you my name?" He raises one of his eyebrows. "My name is Y/N L/N, I live just 5 blocks from your house" I held out my hand but he refused it.

"You gave your name to an unknown stranger, how pathetic" he rolls his eyes. I gloom over how he couldn't just answer my DAMN QUESTION! I slowly retreat back to my house when he called for me.

"Henry" He uttered still looking at his book. "Henry Creel".

My eyes glimmer back as he answers, "Would you like to play with me!" I beamed as I approach him, "No".

"What's the book your reading?".

"None of your business"

"Can I get on the swing?"

"I got here first".

I finally made a friend.

A/N: part 2 coming soon😍

[pub-lius]

thoughts while watching the john adams series as my will to tolerate men decreases pt 2: imdepemdemce

“manure is an art. and i consider myself. an accomplished artist.” you what, john???

charles abuse 1

the gore in this will never compare to that of turn, but then again, idk if anything will. turn really said “you didn’t think the human body could look like that? fr?? that sucks, now you know not to be so fucking dumb lol”

imma fucking make myself cry thinking of mama look sharp from 1776. that song fucks me up every time bro

YAAAS RADICALIZE HIM SLAAAYYY VIVE LA RÉVOLUTION

“men need to think that they have made their own decisions” no bc let’s unpack that. let’s process this. in this essay i will-

“i think everyone not in favor of moderation or compromise should be castrated 🥰” TELL THEM BENNY BOOTS THE HOUSE

AAA THERES JEFFERSON LOOK AT THAT LITTLE PISS MAN STANDING BY HIMSELF LITTLE PISS BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺 LOOK AT HIM ABOUT TO SHIT HIMSELF THAT VIRGINIA HASNT BEEN TALKED ABOUT YET 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 SOMEONE GET HIM AN DIAPER FAST

ugh dickinson, my little meow meow 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

the way i talk about the founding fathers is deplorable i should stop. doesn’t mean i will.

OMG SJSBWKWN OMG I FORGOT WASHINGTON WAS THERE HOLY FUCK JUMPSCARE WARNING PLS THANK YOU

im not even paying attention to the debate, ive heard it so many times. but honestly we need to talk about how shitty adams was at debating. like he’s so mad and for what?? you sound 12.

we also need to address that new hampshire was an og from the beginning but no everyone talks about massachusetts and virginia 🙄🙄🙄🙄

omg ben franklin talking about his brother. i never caught that detail before. thats so cool tho, bc his brother was like his mentor in both journalism and pissing off the british governmentn

washington is so slay in this ngl. he fucks tbh but put him in a british uniform. do it. no balls do it. bc thats what he wore sweetie

“not generosity, mr adams, duty.” OMG YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS??? embarrassing

bro his first line and jefferson’s already complaining. grow up, shit boy

ouchie

bro these kids are gonna be so traumatized, and just for that, im adding a charles abuse point charles abuse 2

every time adams stands up, part of me dies

*slow turn towards washington* washington: fuckfuckfuckfuckfUCKFUCKFUCK-

charles abuse 3

yo the actor who played hancock really put his whole hanussy into the reading of the king’s proclamation. there’s so much emotion in it and he still stays professional. its just 🤌

MY NAME IS RICHARD HENRY LEE VIRGINIA IS MY HOME MY NAME IS RICHARD HENRY LEE VIRGINIA IS MY HOOOOOME

the parallel of charles playing with toy cannons to him making musketballs 🤌🤌🤌

HENRY KNOX HENRY KNOX HENRY KNOX HENRY KNOX-

charles abuse 4

“we call that one liberty. and that one- stuck in the myre-… INDEPENDENCE *laughs motherfuckerly*”

adams: so uh… this is pretty important righ- jefferson: i want to sink great britain 😐 adams: u- uh, well… i didnt ask-

“now who do you think will join us in this folly? 🤨” “*without hesitation* france.” yeah pretty much

me every time rutledge speaks: something lgbtq just happened to me

“*takes off wig* when demosthenes- *puts wig back on* whEN DEMOSTHENES-“ no bc wtf was that. like why did you do that

okay im only halfway through but i already have more that enough for this post so ✌️

[bistortion-29]

The reason why I enjoy hearing or reading about queer characters is that, it truly fascinates me. Not the whole 'how can they be gay thing' but the whole 'they are gay and they have a significant other.' Like these people didn't care. They loved another person truly and wholly without giving a single fuck. And despite the rules and norms of the society, they choose to love. I can never do that. I can never be that brave to risk everything else I have for just one person. They wrote letters, they allowed the world to know. And they didn't care.

Like the sonnets Shakespeare wrote for a mysterious young man. Like Oscar Wilde and Alfred Douglas. The letters between Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West. The letters between John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton. The letters between Emily Dickinson and Susan Gilbert.

I love the fictional characters as well. Who literally risk everything and overcome fears of their own to love. Alec was a shadow hunter and he fell in love with Magnus WHO WAS A WARLOCK and married him. Nico di Angelo who was born in the 1940s where being gay meant living on the streets fell in love with Will Solace. Henry was a freaking Prince, yet he wrote such pure, raw, unadulterated words for Alex. Jude went through so much in his life and yet he allowed Willem to love him. Ari and Dante lived during a time where being gay was fatal; Dante was attacked in the book and Ari's brother killed a prostitute after finding out that they were trans. Oliver came from a conservative family and still loved Elio. These couples would have had doubts and apprehensions but they still loved each other and didn't care.

Here are some iconic quotes;

"I must see you soon — you are the divine thing I want." And. "...it is a marvel that those red rose-leaf lips of yours should be made no less for the madness of music and song than for the madness of kissing. Your slim gilt soul walks between passion and poetry. I know Hyacinthus, whom Apollo loved so madly, was you in Greek days." Oscar Wilde to Alfred Douglas.

"You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent." Alexander Hamilton to John Laurens.

"I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia...you have broken down my defences. And I don’t really resent it." Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf.

"Do I repine, is it all murmuring, or am I sad and lone, and cannot, cannot help it? Sometimes when I do feel so, I think it may be wrong, and that God will punish me by taking you away; for he is very kind to let me write to you, and to give me your sweet letters, but my heart wants more." Emily Dickinson to Susan Gilbert.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" Shakespeare.

"You could give me the past," he said a little sadly. "But Alec is my future." Magnus Bane, City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare.

"Nico, I've seen a lot of brave things. But what you just did? That was maybe the bravest." Jason Grace to Nico di Angelo, House of Hades by Rick Riordan.

"Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all?" Prince Henry of Wales to Alex Claremont-Diaz the First son, Red White & Royal Blue by Casey Mcquiston.

"You were treated horribly. You came out on the other end. You were always you.”

"And who are you?"

"I'm Willem Ragnarsson. And I will never let you go." Willem Ragnarsson to Jude St. Francis, A Little Life by Hanya Yanahigara.

"How could I have ever been ashamed of loving Dante Quintana?" Aristotle Mendoza in Aristotle and Dante discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sàenz.

"I could spend the rest of my life like this: with him, at night, in Rome, my eyes totally shut, one leg coiled around his. I thought of coming back here in the weeks or months to come—for this was our spot." Elio from Call me by your name by Andrè Aciman.

Of course there are many more real and fictional couples, feel free to comment some.

As I said, I know not whether it is the place that I live or my own upbringing. But I will maybe allow myself to silently feel but I would never have the courage to love like these people. Those who receive love are both weak and strong but those who love are stronger than anyone else.

- midnight rants.

[henrysglock]

Patty being the one who makes Henry want to be a better person is so funny to me because that bit specifically stems from the fact that she's dropping mixed signals re; unconditional love the same way his mother does. He's still got hope that she might be able to give him that love he craves from his mother, which makes him want to be a better person so he might be "worthy" of it. Patty gives Henry a healthier version of the mixed signals Virginia gives him. She's caring and accepting up until a point, and then she turns on him at the last minute, despite "loving" him and despite seeing that something is clearly amiss.

It's literally so funny (it kills the man) when you think about it, because with Mr. Newby/the attic attack, Patty just, essentially, leaps right from

"Henry, you're a miracle!"

to:

"Hm. Yeah. This was all Henry's fault. It was all definitely deliberate, too, and he's definitely stalking me/out to kill me for...??? reasons. Because he's Henry. IDK. Math is mathing for sure."

There's no:

"Henry was trying to stop me from going through with that plan to use his powers. Maybe there was a reason for that? Maybe he was trying to warn me that it's dangerous for us both. So maybe he isn't what's dangerous about this, maybe he's just a vessel for something else, something he struggles to control. Maybe that's why he straight up begged my father to get me out of the attic when he showed up to collect me as things went wrong."

despite her supposedly talking Henry through beating the Shadow in the attic. (Which...I don't think she ever actually helped Henry with the attic possession. I think Henry made that all up to save himself.)

There's also no:

"Holy shit, Henry just disappeared after this whole debacle? Last time I saw him, he was half-aware on the floor of the attic. Is he even alive? Does anyone know where he is?"

either, which is something we even got from Joyce and Hopper.

Joyce and Hopper care more about Henry's wellbeing after the attic incident than Patty does, because she veers directly into being terrified of Henry...despite her supposedly having confessed her love to him while witnessing him fighting off possession!

"2+2 = George Washington" type math going on here.

Patty tells Henry early on that whatever powers he has might be a miracle rather than a mistake, only to veer directly into "Henry's a monster. He's going to hunt me down and kill me" each time.

Mixed signals.

And then when she learns better, when Mr. Newby tells her about the Shadow and she goes to find Henry/makes plans to run away with him, all Brenner has to do is tell her about the Creel murders and she's suddenly against Henry again! Despite knowing about the Shadow and about the conditions Brenner had Henry under in the lab!

There was no:

"Did Henry have a choice? What really happened here? What were the circumstances? This doesn't sound right, it sounds like you might have your fingers in all this, Dr. Brenner. Was Henry cornered into this situation?"

It's just:

Mixed signals.

It's not solid love, and it never was.

(This is why Will's exorcism succeeded, too. He had unconditional love on all sides, regardless of the fucked up things the Shadow had him doing. Joyce and Mike didn't care that Will sent all those soldiers to their deaths, they just cared about helping Will. Jonathan felt guilty that he wasn't there to help handle Will. They were all afraid for Will, not of Will.)

[bansheeoftheforest]

I CAN FINALLY SEND ASKS ABOUT THE WITCH AU >:) (long ask btw)

Okay so first off what if jekyll wasn't even a witch in his past life but just a scientist? And only after dying and being reincarnated does he do magic for the first time. Also the thought of jekyll meeting for his conven for teas on certain days and just generally being a very close group my beloved<3. What if jekyll has a magic stall in black fog where he dresses up in full witchy attire and sells magical items that he's made. I can see the lodgers having a really bad accident due to not having jekylls protection so the others run to get jekyll to help because frankenstein isn't. Only for jekyll to know that the only way to save the injured lodger is magic so they watch him basically threaten them because he does not wanna go through the effort of a memory erasing ritual and they watch as jekyll takes his cane taps it twice on the floor mutters a spell and everything starts repairing itself and all the wounds on any lodgers get healed. Afterwards he stumbles forward and mumbles about how hard he forgot spells like those were. Another reveal situation I can think of is maybe something happens like the lodgers creating a magic canceler or something so jekyll walks in to grab something only for his glamors to fall revealing his burn scars all over his face. He doesn't even notice they're gone before he hears a lodger scream

Anyway that is all for now:D

-🕐

Now i can see why you were so excited for me to finally post this au--

Also love how, the one time I have something set for an au, people immediately go "hey what if it WASN'T" and I love that /lh /gen <3

I love to imagine Henry and the rest of the Coven being like, really really close, almost like the Sandersson sisters but CLOSER and much more friendlier, and without the "wanting to consume children's souls" part. I KNOW that witch is an occupation and not a magical gender (fuck you jk) but I love the thought of actual born male witches being really rare (ALSO I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MENTION???? Henry's previous life WAS female and basically Enby/Genderfluid witch Henry rights) anyways I want these ladies to see a male witch and go "Baby???? baby boy???? Baby brother boy baby?????" and just. Love him. They see this funky man and his undead familiar who probably is just still doggy zosi and go "oh my sweet summer child" dhdhdh <3

Henry would definitely be much more into Blackfog as a witch because most of his coven is attending/having stalls there. I can imagine that the "oh no I can't go there" part is just an act to keep the Lodgers from figuring out that he is a witch and "works" there-- he definitely went there practically every day it was set up and sells magical things for some extra cash to be able to keep his home and the Society... Which in the end also means Hyde wouldn't freak out on Jekyll either so none of the bad stuff happens! <3

Honestly I LOVE reveals like this one. An explosion happens and a Lodger gets thrown into a wall and badly injured, everyone is panicking and trying to find Jekyll because Frankenstein can obviously not really do anything. Henry comes rushing in and sees the scene and starts threatening the onlookers with a cane about not mentioning a WORD about what he is about to do. He taps the cane on the floor and starts mumbling an incantation, marks starts to glow in the floor as the wounds magically heal over the whimpering and probably unconscious lodger. The room where the explosion happens gets cleaned up and repaired and the Lodgers are just staring in awe. Henry is panting and collapses into Virginia's arms the moment the incantation is done because it took and drained a lot of his energy to make a spell like that without the proper preparations. The previously injured Lodger not understanding wtf happened because for them they just suddenly blacked out and laid against a wall and yet immediately worrying for Henry as people start to surround him as he almost passes out... <3

Honestly? We can have both reveals. The Lodgers finding out that Henry is a witch or just has magical powers in general and yet start messing about with magic now that they know that magic is actually a thing that does exist. Accidentally create a magic canceler (or maybe they just wanted to see if they could keep Henry out of their labs with wards?) only for Henry to walk in and have all his glamours fall. He has massive burnscars over his face and his arms and one eye is completely white or otherwise damaged and yet Henry doesn't even notice it. A Lodger screams in pure terror because they didn't realize what happen and Henry spins around and maybe accidentally sees his reflection in a glass surface, realizing what happens, and starts to panic and runs out and locks himself into his office having to first and foremost relive his trauma from seeing his scars (and having his glamours forcefully ripped away from him) as well having to have the Lodgers banging on his door begging him to come out so they can talk. Just... Angst <3

[novelconcepts]

fic: something to hang on to

When Jamie buys a camera, she isn’t really thinking about it. They’re driving through Virginia, stopped off at a little gas station; Dani’s outside filling the rental Jeep, which puts Jamie on snack-duty. At the counter, she spots a display of disposable cameras and, almost without thinking, adds one to the pile of sugar and caffeine. It isn’t a plan. Isn’t for any particular reason. 

Dani, pawing through the plastic bag of their spoils, raises it from a mess of M&Ms and Pringles and says, “You like photography?” She asks it the way she asks everything, like every little detail she learns about Jamie is another brand-new color added to the shine of the world. Jamie shrugs. 

“Never was much for it, but this brave new land is pretty enough. Don’t mind keeping track of it for later.”

It’s more than that, she thinks as Dani raises the viewfinder to her eye and clicks a photo of Jamie behind the wheel, one hand steering, the other stretching across the center console to rest on Dani’s knee. I almost lost you once, Poppins. Wouldn’t have had anything but my own memory to remember you by. This...this will help. 

Later, much later, years later, Jamie will look back on that moment as one of her wisest. Later, on a bed she can no longer sleep in, holding a thick album between shaking hands, she’ll think some of the most important choices you ever make are split-second recklessness. A camera, tossed in at the last second. A habit, built on nothing more than needing Dani’s smile immortalized. 

Open the album. Take a breath. Flip the page. 

***

A photo: Dani sprawled on a red-and-white beach towel, chin propped on folded arms, gazing out away from the camera as though she has no idea anyone is watching.

They’re with Henry and the kids--the first time they’ve seen the Wingrave family since the events at the house, and, though they don’t know it, one of the last times they’ll see them all together--in Florida. It’s strange, Jamie reflects, watching Miles chase Flora across an endless strip of sand. Strange how much world can fit into one country. England was green, rolling with hill and fog and haunted by things older than any of them can imagine. Florida feels...young, somehow. Too warm, too bright, too perfect on a Saturday afternoon. 

She’s hugging her knees, seated on a blanket with Dani sitting just an inch further away than she’d like. It’s the safe thing, the smart thing, but she misses her--misses the way they sit in hotel rooms and empty bars, knees touching, pinkies overlapping. Dani, in a sundress that matches the blue of her right eye, is laughing as Miles grabs Flora around the middle and tries with all his ten-year-old strength to hoist her off the ground. 

“Miles,” Henry calls, his voice laden with the anxiety of a man who has only just begun learning how to parent. “Miles, be careful--”

“They’re all right,” Jamie interrupts, tossing a handful of warm sand toward Henry’s precarious perch on a plastic chair. "Have you been wound this tight the whole fucking time?”

He looks pained. “You’ll excuse me for never having raised two children before. They’ve been a bit...”

“Precocious?” Dani suggests brightly. 

“Demonic?” Jamie says at the same time. Henry sighs. 

“Adventurous, shall we say, to meet in the middle.”

“They haven’t been...” Dani’s smiling, the way Jamie has grown accustomed to over the last few months: a beautiful smile that never entirely reaches her eyes. It’s the way she smiles when she thinks she needs to wear a mask of stability, when she needs everyone to think she’s doing all right. 

Henry frowns. “Haven’t been what?”

Dani shrugs, looking uncomfortable. “Scared? Having nightmares? I don’t know...”

She’s asking-not-asking about that night, like she told Jamie she wasn’t going to do. They don’t need me bringing it up, she’d said back at the hotel, holding tight to Jamie in a way that said she very much needed to talk about this against her own will. They deserve to just live their lives. 

Henry looks puzzled. “Strange, but no. No nightmares. Flora had a few at the very start, before we left London, but...no. Not since arriving here.”

Dani nods like this is all she wants to hear, and rubs her cheek with one slightly-sunburnt hand, the moment passing into obscurity as Flora shrieks and Miles trips directly into an oncoming wave. It’s all good here, all sunshine and ease of temper, and Jamie watches Henry stand. Brush off shorts that look truly insane set against his pale legs. Go awkward-jogging into the surf to lift a giggling Flora heavenward. 

“They make a fine little family,” she says, pitching her voice so only Dani can hear. Dani nods. There’s a tightness to her mouth that says she’s only half here, only half able to let the sun bake away the shadows. Jamie touches her ankle lightly, wishing they were somewhere less requiring of distance. 

“I’m all right,” Dani says. Not a lie of intent, at least, though Jamie suspects it’s more that she wants to be all right. She watches Dani roll onto her front, eyes on the endless ocean, the children tumbling around in its gentle grasp, the man doing his best to keep up. 

Could watch her forever, Jamie thinks, knowing it’s far too early to say something so catastrophically huge. She’s been having these thoughts more and more, wild notions of turning this brand-new adventure with Dani into a lifetime event. It turns a key somewhere deep within her chest, some far-off engine making a deep rumbling sound that sends her tripping toward a very real, very powerful feeling of terror. 

Her hand slips toward the bag of sunscreen, paperback novels, sliced oranges. A camera, small and yellow and used mainly in moments like this one, emerges. Dani never notices as she brings it to her eye, frames Dani’s blonde ponytail and sun-pink skin, snaps a photo. 

Later, when the pictures are developed and spread out across a hotel bedspread, shots of Miles with an orange-peel grin and Flora standing before a monster of a sandcastle intercut with Dani’s far-off pensive expression, Dani will touch the print. Lingeringly, fingers trembling just the slightest bit.

“Why this one?”

Because I loved you more than words could capture, Jamie will know it’s far too early to say. It’d be reckless. It’d be testing the bounds of something still fragile, still one-day-at-a-time hopeful. 

“Why not?” she’ll say, and tuck the photo safely back into its sleeve. 

***

A photo: Jamie and Dani, backs to the freshly painted Leafling sign, standing carefully apart with shoulders back and a small bouquet of flowers clutched in Dani’s hands.

They keep to themselves, mainly, but some of the nearby shopkeepers have been kind as The Leafling goes from mad late-night concept to brick-and-mortar reality. They bring welcome-to-the-block plants and casseroles that are mostly-edible, and Dani accepts each one with true Midwestern courtesy. Jamie leans back, watches the art of neighborly behavior being painted before her eyes: older women who compliment Dani on her earrings, young men bullied into helping move heavy boxes into storage by their mothers. Dani, in the middle of it all, wearing a soft pastel sweater and a smile that has finally remembered its own strength. 

She wasn’t sure how this would go, if Jamie’s honest about it. She’s been telling Dani not to worry for weeks, telling Dani they don’t need to know much about a business to run this one. I grow, you arrange, we make out like bandits with all the nice Americans who value pretty things. It’ll be perfect, Poppins. She’s been saying it, and she thinks she even believes her own words most of the time, but there have been dreams. Anxiety running its red thread through her sleep, telling her she has no skill in this arena, no education to speak of, no idea how to survive in American business while hiding her relationship with her “business partner”. 

The day the shop finally opens, Jamie has been saying “it’s going to be great” for so long, she almost surprises herself by rushing into the bathroom and vomiting into the toilet. Dani, expression warm and just the tiniest bit teasing, leans against the doorframe.

“You all right?”

“Perfect,” Jamie gasps, staggering to the sink and thrusting a toothbrush into her mouth. “Jus’ great.”

“Too late to turn back now,” Dani points out. “What would we do with all the business cards?”

Jamie groans, spitting mint foam and rinsing out her mouth. “You could show just the slightest bit less glee, Poppins. I’ve just run us into a brick wall of imminent failure.”

Dani laughs, coming up behind her to hug her tight around the middle. “We should probably at least unlock the doors for the first time before you decide it’s time to shutter them again.”

She’s good today, Jamie senses--not the fake-good where she tries her best to pretend she isn’t listening for some deep-down movement Jamie can’t register, but truly happy. Her body is relaxed, her hands certain as she tips Jamie’s cheek and kisses her calm. 

“How,” Jamie gasps when they break, “are you not out of your bloody mind right now?”

Dani shrugs. “It’s like the first day of school. Spend all summer planning and worrying, but now it’s happening. Just gotta jump in.”

There are already people waiting when they arrive, to Jamie’s mingled horror and delight. Most of them are their fellow shopkeepers, waiting with the brilliant smiles of people who have already lived this particular nightmare themselves, and just want to pay forward the relief of customers actually turning up. They’re kind, these people--they don’t know Jamie in the least, don’t have the first idea what shadows lurk behind Dani’s eyes, but they take their hands, squeeze, and congratulate them all the same. Jamie thinks they even mean it, most of them. Americans are complicated, boisterous, scandalous people--but they can have such heart. 

One woman, old enough to be Jamie’s grandmother, presses a bouquet of peonies against Dani’s chest. “For luck,” she says croakily, patting Dani’s cheek like she’s known her since Dani was three feet tall. “Dry ‘em, hang ‘em somewhere in the back. Remember we’re all rooting for you.”

“Rooting,” a man who owns a nearby pizzeria hoots. “Good one, Carol!”

Jamie almost rolls her eyes, but Dani is beaming. When the others make flapping get in front of the sign gestures, they can’t help but obey, standing with a perfectly-maintained half-person between their shoulders. She wants so badly to reach over, to take Dani’s hand, to kiss her with all the terror and relief she’d never known she could feel at once. Instead, she smiles as professionally as she knows how for the camera someone produces. It’s enough.

Later, tapping a finger against the print the photographer drops on their counter, Jamie says, “Look like I want to pass out.”

Dani glances toward the window, takes note of the empty street, presses a quick kiss to her cheek. “I’d have caught you.”

***

A photo: Jamie, sitting just behind Dani on a plush couch, arm wrapped around her waist, cheek pressed to flyaway blonde hair. Dani, grinning her widest, cheesiest grin, leaning back like she knows there is no world in which Jamie would ever let her fall.

There are parties, occasionally--usually thrown by other under-the-radar couples they get along with well enough for drinks, not so much that they truly build relationships. They like the quiet life, the two-person road trips, the easy silence after a long day. But, sometimes, life is grand and big and loud, and on those nights, they venture out into the world.

There are a pair of men maybe five years their senior who have been together for “a decade”, if you ask Mike, “a century”, if it’s Paul telling the tale. They’re good people, and their home is a safe space Jamie doesn’t anticipate finding. 

Friends are hard, she thinks. Always were, but they’re so much harder once you’ve lost a couple.

Still: when Mike and Paul are set to celebrate a round ten years together (”An eternity,” Paul clarifies, leaning against the Leafling counter to invite them over), they go. Dani wants to, and it’s good seeing Dani want things like this. It’s been almost a year together, almost a year of exploring the map and one another, and Dani’s been getting softer around the edges, less prone to jumping at shadows. The Dani Clayton of a year ago wouldn’t want to attend parties, lest the beast inside leap while her guard is lowered; the Dani Clayton of tonight is holding up a dark green dress, brow furrowed. 

“Too much?”

Jamie hums a moment to buy herself time. “Depends.”

“On?”

“Whether you’d like to actually leave the house tonight.” Jamie wiggles her eyebrows, buttoning a black shirt and searching for a good pair of suspenders. Dani laughs. 

“I think you can keep your hands to yourself for a few hours.”

“You,” Jamie points out, sidling up behind her and kissing her neck, “have always had entirely too much faith in me, Poppins.”

Dani is, however, a woman of her word when it comes to accepting social invitations, and soon they’re sitting on an exceptionally soft couch in an exceptionally loud living room. Jamie glances around, reading the environment, registering the two women holding hands by the coffee table, the men dancing near the kitchen, the way even the male-female pairs seem not to see anything odd. Mike and Paul have been doing this a long time. This is as safe a space as their own home. 

She likes the way Dani relaxes, a little more with every drink tucked into her hand, a little more with a lit cigarette pulled from Jamie’s, a little more still when Mike nudges her and mutters, “Your girl looks good tonight, Clayton.”

She likes, most of all, the way Dani doesn’t flinch away when a Polaroid comes out. These are good people, brave people, smart people. If there are photos taken tonight, they will be pressed straight into the hands of their subjects, gifted away before the chemicals have even processed. 

Dani presses back against her, seated on her lap, laughing at some joke Jamie hasn’t really been paying attention to. She’s too busy watching Dani’s profile, the way her head tips back when she’s really laughing, too hard to care what she looks like. Too busy reveling in how it feels to hold Dani in a setting so much more public than usual, her fingers stroking the soft material of Dani’s dress, her body burning and the most comfortable it’s ever been. 

Later, with the Polaroid on the nightstand, the green dress on the floor, and a sheet tucked up against the fall chill, Dani says, “We should do that more.”

Jamie chuckles against her shoulder, kissing a patch of freckles. “This?”

“Yes.” Dani wriggles a little, giggling. “But also that.” She’s gesturing to the photo, propped between a lamp and copy of some old Shirley Jackson novel. “It was nice, wasn’t it? Not...”

“Hiding,” Jamie supplies. Dani makes a humming noise soft in her throat. 

“I like not hiding you.”

***

A photo: Dani, eyes dark with a smolder only Jamie ever sees, a cigarette between her lips, hair loose around her shoulders. 

Nights spent home with Dani, nights where there are no groceries to pick up, no accounting to be done, no errands waiting to be noticed, are Jamie’s absolute favorite thing in the world. There’s just something about this sense of home they’ve been building together, this sense of locked door and secured window and no one else invited to partake that gets Jamie the way nothing else does. 

Especially Dani. Dani at home is less reserved, less careful. With every month that passes quietly, no sign of anything but her own mind, Dani gets a little less tight. A little less prone to gazing off into the middle distance. A little less likely to disappear from an otherwise-normal conversation, emerging several minutes later like she’s pulling herself out of a dream.

And, some nights, she’s not just here--she’s utterly present, every atom of her tuned to Jamie like they have no need of space between them, no need of separation. These nights, the nights where Dani strides into the room on a mission, are Jamie’s favorite of all. 

“Why,” Dani says, leaning back in a kitchen chair with legs spread and head tilted to exhale smoke toward the ceiling, “are you looking at me like that?”

“Me?” Jamie teases. “You’re the one gazing at me like I’m some terribly interesting new buffet.”

She’s half-joking, but there’s something about the way Dani looks at her on this very particular sort of night, with every line of her body tuned toward Jamie’s, that makes her feel a stupid kind of brave. A reckless kind of excitement unwinds outward, until her fingertips itch to grab at Dani’s hair, her knees weak with the desire to pull Dani close. 

She’s doing it now, smoking that cigarette with all the languid energy of a woman perfectly at home, watching Jamie with a faint smirk playing around her lips. No one else sees that smirk, Jamie understands, and it makes her a little faint every time she thinks it. To have something of Dani, some integral comfortable part of Dani that belongs solely to their apartment, their life together, is still a good fortune Jamie can’t entirely parse out. 

Her hand moves toward the camera, small and plastic and containing some of the best memories of Dani she desperately needs to keep. Dani lets her snap off a shot, shakes her head when Jamie lowers the camera.

“That’s going to be one of yours.”

She says it every time Jamie tries to capture the white-hot energy of this kind of evening. Dani doesn’t like to see herself through this particular lens, gets fidgety and embarrassed at the sight of her own face etched with such a confident hunger. Jamie asked the first time if Dani wanted her to stop taking the photos altogether, and Dani had shaken her head.

“I don’t mind. But they’re yours, okay?”

She sets the camera aside, moving to take the cigarette out of Dani’s hand, taking a long drag and dropping it in an ashtray. The rest doesn’t need anything in the way--no lens, no embarrassment, nothing but the way Dani’s mouth opens beneath hers, hands already roaming. The rest is not Jamie’s, but theirs, a joint ownership of soft moans and soft skin and soft assurances that this is still, always, home. 

Later, with Dani asleep, one hand thrown loosely over Jamie’s hip, Jamie will look at the photos that are hers and hers alone. Dani, mouth wet and swollen from a night spent confined to their bedroom around their anniversary. Dani, grinning and half-asleep, glancing over her shoulder to coax Jamie into putting the camera down, joining her among the blankets. Dani, smoke-haze around her face, wine glass in her hand, looking just past the camera at Jamie’s own desire. 

Dani’s choice to share a life with her, Dani’s decision to share every inch of herself with Jamie, is more than Jamie feels anyone deserves. 

***

A photo: Dani in front of the Eiffel Tower, sunglasses on, arms spread wide.

A photo: Dani kneeling at the Grand Canyon, gesturing bewilderment at the sheer scope of the place.

A photo: Dani standing before the alleged largest ball of twine in the world, looking rather like she regrets letting Jamie pick the destination this time.

They travel until Dani can’t stomach it anymore, can’t take the uncertainty of unknown roads and unmapped hotel beds--but, first, years of travel. Years of postcards and rental cars, of Jamie turning maps upside down and Dani being shockingly savvy in small-town situations. 

These photos, more than any other, feel like they have to be taken for someone else’s idea of posterity, and Jamie feels a little strange, at first. Dani’s already seen much of Europe by the time they meet, and has no photos whatsoever to show for it. Jamie, who started turning up in photos for the first time as an adult, says, “It’ll be good to show ‘em off,” while never quite bringing herself to the edge of an unspoken follow-up question: to whom, exactly? It isn’t as though she and Dani are having children, isn’t as though there will be grandkids tottering around down the line to tune out their stories. Who, exactly, are these mementos for?

Dani is far too kind, far too pragmatic, to put the question to her. Dani only poses, grins, lets Jamie take all the pictures she wants, and then--camera tucked safely away once more--grabs Jamie’s hands and leads her into living it: the food, the outdoor markets, the snowstorms, the sun-kissed hikes. As the years go by, Jamie takes more and more photos, never quite able to explain to herself why it’s so critical. Never quite able to look away when Dani finally covers the lens with one hand and brings her close, kissing her like it’s the first time. 

They stop looking at these photos together, after a while. Stop trying so hard to go back, as the days grow shorter and the exhaustion begins to steal the warmth from Dani’s smile. At first, it’s about moving forward--always one foot in front of the other. At first, every photo taken is set aside as a gift to another life. And then, finally, it’s about the moment they’re in, nothing more. Jamie sets the camera on a shelf. Refuses to look at Dani through any barrier but her own two eyes. Dani doesn’t like the snap-click of the camera anymore, anyway--each time, she flinches, like Jamie is about to show her a glimpse of whatever horror she’s been seeing in the mirror. 

I only see you, Jamie promises, the ache in her chest so great, she’s sure it will swallow them both. But Dani can’t bring herself to look. Can’t bring herself, just in case Jamie is wrong. 

Later--so much later, with eyes stinging and arms empty--she flips through the album and remembers Spain, California, Minnesota, Greece. Later, she finds Dani sticking her tongue out, spinning like a deranged nun out of musical, sitting quietly in a cafe with a small cup of coffee warming her hands. Dani, stiff-shouldered and trying not to laugh as Jamie made faces the one time they ever ventured back to Iowa. Dani, hair blowing back into her face, arms looped around Jamie at a terrifying, exhilarating first Pride parade. 

And, in the back, the photos of Dani as only Jamie knew her. The sly grin a second before pinning Jamie to the couch. The sweet surprise from Jamie coming home early with dinner. Shot after shot of no make-up, or smudged eyeliner, or ruined lipstick, of Dani in pajamas on Christmas, or Dani in bed after a shower, or Dani laughing herself silly at nothing Jamie can remember now. 

They’re all here, and they’re all Dani--all of Dani Jamie’s got left now--and still, they’re wrong. They sit, plastic and unyielding, beneath flimsy protective sheets, and they don’t laugh like Dani, don’t breathe out against her skin like Dani, don’t smell like Dani’s shampoo or swear like Dani tripping over a shoe in the dark or look at her with that solid, palpable love like Dani did and should still and never will again. 

Jamie sits, album in her lap, staring down at Dani with paint smudged on her cheek and their then-new bedroom behind her, and suddenly can’t remember how to breathe. Had she known? Somewhere in the back of her mind that day in a gas station, picking up a little yellow disposable camera, had she known that one day, this would be all she had left of Dani? Surely not. Surely, she hadn’t believed it would go this way, all the way back then. Surely, it was one day at a time, and we’ll have time, and any day with you, Poppins. 

Had she known? No. No, of course she hadn’t.

And yet, the idea of not having these in front of her--the idea of Dani’s face slowly, surely, washing away over time as Jamie fails to find her in a world so uncompromisingly cruel...

She touches a shot of Dani with her left hand covering her mouth, her ring gleaming gold against her smile, the day the state had legalized civil unions. Dani as gold as sunshine, in one of the last truly clean moments, before old ghost stories dug rotting fingers into their life. Her vision grays, her head suddenly too heavy to hold up. 

She hadn’t known. But she’s glad. She’s glad she has, at least, this much to hang on to.

[eideticmemory]

GODPARENTS | SPENCER REID

Description: You’re a wonderful godmother, always have been. Nothing could distract you from that. Queue the entrance of the ultimate distraction: Godfather Spencer Reid.

Word Count: 2,757.

Rating: M.

Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse.

Jennifer Jareau is the closest thing you’ve got to a big sister. Your parents had placed you in grief counseling shortly after a loss in the family. You were only nine, but it impacted greatly - you felt alone, misunderstood, lost, hurt, confused. Little did you know, a twelve-year-old JJ would be in the other room, distraught by the loss of her older sister. And once the two of you met, chatting, laughing, confessing your darkest secrets, you didn’t feel so alone anymore. Jennifer Jareau helped you heal, and you could only hope she’d say the same about you.

19 years later, with a friendship thick and strong as stone, she gave birth to your godson - Henry. She had asked you be his godmother long before her due date, insisting that there was no woman she trusted as much. You cried. You hugged her. You talked to her stomach. It was a good day.

The day Henry was born was even better. You met him just hours after his birth, and fell in love instantly. You kissed JJ on top of her head, told her she did such a good job, leaned in to hug Will and held your godson. He was the spitting image of his mother, and you cared for both of them immensely. However, with you living nearly an hour away at the time, your reunion with them was cut short.

By the time Henry turned one, you had a cozy Virginia apartment and went to see JJ as offen as possible. Even visiting Will and Henry when JJ was off on a case.

It wasn’t until Henry’s first birthday party that you met Spencer Reid. And everything began to fall apart.

JJ went all out. Balloons, bouncy houses, tons of food, tons of people, all gathered to celebrate little Henry. You, being the ditiful godmother, showed up with a bunch of presents in tow, ready to help JJ in any way you could.

Before having Henry blow out the candles on his birthday cake, Will and her took a family photo. “Okay!” She exclaimed. “[y/n], Spencer, come here! I want Henry to get a quick picture with both his godparents.”

You happily complied, skipping over to Henry with a great big smile on your face. Spencer was the first to introduce himself, “Hi,” he said, posing at Henry’s side with his vision focused on you. “I’m Spencer.”

“[y/n],” you smiled. “It’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard good things.”

“Same here,” he nodded.

You both crouched down to Henry’s level, smiling wide for the picture as JJ counted down, “Three, two, one!” She shouted, followed by the shutter of the camera. “Perfect! I’m getting that framed!”

You giggled at your friend’s excitement, looked at little Henry and gave him quick pecks all over his face. When you looked up at Spencer, he was watching you - a look of adoration on his face, a smile gracing his lips. You smiled back. And that’s how it started.

Later that night - when the lights had gone down, most of the guests had left, and the baby was asleep, - you were up in the guest room. Unpacking your bag, you listened to the distinct coversation between JJ and her coworkers - their laughs, the inside jokes, the bond.

Since it was adult time, you figured, one drink wouldn’t hurt. You pulled a small flask from your bag, checking the door before you stepped onto the balcony. You took in the view, and gulped down a considerable amount of alcohol, your nerves loosening by the second.

“Ah,” a voice called. “Holding out on us?”

You turned your body quickly, coming face to face with Spencer, who had his hands in his pockets and his shoulder leaned against the balcony threshold. You giggled, “Well, I didn’t really think this was a perfect first-birthday-party activity, y’know?”

“Oh, no, I know,” he nodded, closing the sliding door behind him as he stepped outside. Even under the moonlight, he was utterly beautiful. “Got enough to share?”

You raised your eyebrows at him, “Why, Spencer, I would’ve never taken you for the drinking type.”

“Only on special occasions,” he shrugged, taking the flask you handed him. He swallowed it down, with minimal reaction, and you felt your heartbeat between your legs. The breeze flew under your dress, making you shiver. “You cold?”

“Yeah, damn. It was just 80 degrees out. Now it’s freezing.”

“Here,” he said. “Take my sweater.”

You watched as he stripped the article of clothing from his shoulders, holding eye contact with you until your eyes trailed to his body. Stop that, you told yourself, stop looking at him like that, [y/n]. But you couldn’t. He was irresistible, and he knew it. When he’d completely removed the sweater, he was only left in a white button up, tucked into his belt buckle.

He didn’t even try to hand you the sweater. He dropped it to the ground, along with the flask, as you moved in to kiss him. His arms wrapped around your waist, and your hands held onto his face as you shoved your tongue into his mouth, moaning at the taste of him.

You excitedly began to fidget with his belt buckle, undoing his pants with phenomenal speed. He pushed you back against the wall, and you followed, so ready to go all the way with this man, the wait was unbearable. He kissed your neck as you freed his cock from his briefs, stroking him into a set erection.

Neither of you spoke a word.

He just picked you up, held you against the wall by your thighs, and kissed you as you pulled your dress up. You pulled your panties to the side and allowed him to put himself inside you. He buried his face in your shoulder, with you going cross-eyed from the intense feeling. You just barely remembered to stay quiet, whining into your mouth as he thrusted into you, hard.

You held onto his shirt for dear life, wrapping your legs around his waist and moving your hips against his. “Fuck,” you whispered. He grinned against your skin, using all his strength to pound you into the wall. Slowly, though, as to not alert his friends downstairs.

You reached down and rubbed your clit, your mouth instantly forming an ‘o’ shape and your head rolling back. Combine that with Spencer’s cock striking all the right places, and you were a puddle. Your legs trembled, but he held onto them, his hands big enough to nearly wrap around your entire thigh. The rush started in the pit of your stomach, then it spread through your clit, and then your entire body. And you came, weakly, almost violently against Spencer’s body.

He stopped after that, pulling out of you and placing your feet back on the concrete gently. Despite being in a daze, you grabbed onto his cock and jerked him off quickly, staring at him as you did it.

“[y/n]—“ he moaned. “I’m—I’m—“

He did. He exploded all over you. Your thigh, your dress. All while falling apart into a fit of groans, having to hold himself up on the wall just to keep from crumbling to the ground. You smirked at the sight of him, glad to have gotten him off.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry about your dress.”

You shook your head, “I needed to shower anyway,” you shrugged. “Go on, everyone’s probably wondering where you went.” You smiled.

He kissed you. Once before he fixed his pants. And twice before he actually left the room. He left his sweater. You wore it to bed that night, sipping happily on the forgotten flask.

In the morning, JJ made breakfast. Enough pancakes and eggs to feed you, the baby, and her. You kissed her cheek before taking a seat at the table, tickling Henry and earning a cute, little giggle from him.

“Where’s Will?” You asked.

“Where else? Work. He couldn’t get out of his shift today, but believe me, he tried.”

“Aw, poor, poor William. I hope he atleast had fun yesterday.”

“He did. We were both tired afterwards, but we had a good time. Thank you for being here.”

“Oh, c’mon, JJ, you know I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world. Godmommy duties!”

“And I’m so glad you got to meet Spencer,” she said. You gulped. “I told you if anything ever happens to me and Will—“

“Then, it’s up to Spencer and I to make sure Henry gets into Yale. I remember.” You giggled.

“Exactly. Did you get to talk to him last night?”

You thought for a moment. You could tell her. But the baby was right there. And you clearly remembered her mentioning a date between her and Spencer years ago. Was it a can of worms you should open? You decided it wasn’t.

“Oh, no,” you shook your head. “Not as much as I wanted. I kind of went to bed early.”

“Ah, well, one day, I want you to meet the whole team. I think it’s about time. Don’t you?”

“Absolutely.”

Over a month later, there was no word from Spencer. You thought about him often though. Where was he, what was he doing, was he thinking of you. Sappy shit. Then, you remembered, you knew exactly where he was. And you chose to visit the bullpen for the very first time.

You put on your tightest pair of jeans - the ones that made your butt look perky - and a spaghetti strap blouse that highlighted your chest. JJ told you that you looked beautiful and embraced you in a warm hug.

“This is such a surprise!” She exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you! See where you worked, who you worked with, all that jazz.”

“Oh,” she giggled, rising from her seat. “Then let me give you the grand tour.”

You followed her aimlessly, only partially listening to his guidance, as you were primarily concerned with seeing Spencer. “That’s Derek, Emily, Penelope is in her office, and you remember Spencer.” She said.

Your eyes instantly found Spencer at his desk, the profiler already eyeing you with a knowing smile. You smiled back, “Of course. Hi, everyone.”

“Back there is our break room. Coffee, doughnuts. Want some?” JJ asked.

“Oh, yeah, coffee sounds great.” You nodded.

“I’ll get you some,” Spencer suddenly offered, rising from his seat and heading off before you could object.

“A nice little place you run here, J,” you whispered.

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t run it.”

“Well, you should.”

Spencer strolled up to you, a small styrofoam cup in his hand, and a great smile on his face. “Here you go. I put in cream and sugar. Hope that’s okay.”

“That’s perfect,” you told him. “Thank you.”

“Spence, you remember [y/n] from Henry’s birthday party? She’s his godmother.”

“Ah, so the one that’s going to help Henry get into Yale?” He chuckled.

You shook your head, “Me? No, no. I could barely get into community college. That’s all on you.”

The three of you laughed, and JJ shook her head at you. “Are you free for a quick lunch?” She asked.

“Of course! You ready?”

Your friend nodded and swung her arm over your shoulder as the two of you walked away. Spencer watched you as you stepped onto the elevator, taking a sip of your coffee. Only then, did you notice the slip of paper tucked into the lid. It contained a string of numbers, signed - Spencer :). You looked up at him, just as the elevator doors were closing.

The night, you called him. He came over. You had sex in a bed for the first time. And it was just as good as you remembered it. If not better. His hands pressed into your thighs, your legs bent over your head as he drilled into you, the sweat from his body dripping onto yours. Your tongues tangled with one another’s, your hands gripped at anything they could. It was hot. It was satisfying. You came twice, and Spencer came with his cock in your mouth.

As the two of you laid there afterwards, cuddled up and out of breath, Spencer kissed your forehead. “Missed you.” He said.

You hid your face as you grinned. “Uh, do you want your sweater back?”

“No. You keep it. Think of me when you see it.”

Little did he know that you thought about him all the time.

2 months later, his number was on speed dial in your phone. The job kept him busy most days, but weekends belonged to you. You’d be at his apartment friday to sunday, miss him for a week, and then fall into the same routine. It was bliss.

You’d be laying beside each other, completely fucked out and attempting to calm your breathing. “Do you—“ Spencer huffed. “Do you want kids some day?”

You furrowed your eyebrows together, sat up slowly and looked down at him. “Where the hell did that come from, Spencer?”

He shrugged, “I see how you are with Henry. Why don’t you have any of your own?”

You laughed, “Is that your way of saying you want to impregnate me?”

“Oh, don’t think that I haven’t thought about it,” he whispered, reaching over to hug you. “Go on a date with me, [y/n].”

You watched him say the words out loud, processing what it meant, waiting for your response. “A date?” You replied.

“A real date. Let me pick you at your place, and take you dancing, a movie, dinner, something. No sex involved.”

“No sex involved?”

“I mean,” he smirked. “Unless you want?”

“Hm, no, Spencer Reid, I’m not that kind of girl. You’re gonna have to wait until the fifth date for that.”

You made it to the fourth date before having sex again. But to be fair, those four dates were spectacular. Movies, dancing, dinner, some coffee dates sprinkled in. You were happy. And JJ could tell.

“Tell me who he is, [y/n].” JJ ordered, chuckling as she fixed you a cup of tea.

“Who? I told you, there’s no one. There’s no guy.”

“I call bullshit,” she shook her head. “You have been walking around way too happy and way too cocky to not be having sex with someone.”

“J—“

“And not to mention how many times you’ve blown me off to see him.”

“I did not blow you off.”

“Sorry, J,” she mocked your voice. “‘I’ve got an early day tomorrow.’ You? An early day on a Saturday?”

“I wanted to run some errands!”

She turned to you, “Errands? Now I know you’re seeing someone!”

“You’re crazy, J.”

You hated to lie to JJ. But it wasn’t the right time. Besides, at that point, 6 complete months had passed since Henry’s birthday party and you worried the lapse in time would upset her. There would be a time and place to announce the relationship.

4 months later - when you told JJ you were moving - she asked where to, and you still didn’t say ‘oh, Spencer’s place.’ Instead, you just told her it was close to her work.

Another 2 months passed and Henry was turning two. JJ insisted you come over to help her set up decorations the night before. You stepped on a ladder, hanging up Henry’s name in big, floppy letters.

“Hey, [y/n], did you pick up some wall tacks on your way over? I want to start putting up the other decorations.” JJ said.

“Yeah, they’re in my car. My keys are on the couch.”

JJ nodded, grabbed your keys and stepped out of the house to retrieve the items. You finally put up the letter ‘Y’ and stepped down to admire your handy work. You began to clean up the trash off the floor, packing into a large grocery bag and laying it to the side. You heard the door close, signaling JJ’s return.

“Hey, J,” you said, rummaging through the bag of decor. “Did you find the wall tacks? My car’s a little junky. And if you think that’s bad, you should see my room.” You laughed.

When you didn’t get a response after a few seconds, you turned around to look at JJ. She was standing here, holding a small item in her hand. Her face had lost its color and her breathing was still. She couldn’t - wouldn’t - look you in the eye.

“Why...” she started. “Is Spencer’s badge in your car?”

[i-willstealyourtoes]

All you need to know about me

Requests: CLOSED

Status: On hiatus

Inbox: 1

Masterpost

(🔔) Progress post on my requests

Fandoms I write for:

Green means I'm confident, orange is semi-confident, red means not confident (I'll attempt all on the list though) + Franchises/Fandoms ranked in order of confidence + Feel free to ask about a character I haven't wrote down here :)

Main:

- PAYDAY 2 w/ ALL heisters (semi-excluding Ethan/Hila), Bain, specials (cops), Vlad, Twitch, Bile and Locke(?)

- TF2 w/ ALL the mercs, Miss Pauling, Zhanna, Saxton Hale

- Star Wars: Clone Wars w/ The 501st (as many as I can remember 💀), Domino Squad, Waxer, Boil, Wolffe, Fox (my interpretation), Ahsoka (platonic only bc she's a kid), Padme, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Cody

- Star Wars: Rebels w/ Ezra, Kanan, Zeb, Sabine, Hera, Rex, Ahsoka, Kallus

- The Bad Batch w/ Hunter, Crosshair, Tech, Wrecker, Echo, Omega (PLATONIC ONLY YOU FUCK), Phee, Gregor, Mayday, Howzer, Riyo Chuchi

- Republic Commando w/ Scorch, Sev, Boss, Fixer, Advisor (I will refer to him as Addy :) )

Others:

- Undertale (no AUs) w/ Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Toriel, Asgore, Mettaton (NEO), BurgerPants, Napstablook, (W.D) Gaster (my int.), Frisk + Chara + Asriel (all platonic + my int.), Grillby (my int.)

- HLVRAI w/ Gordon, Benrey, Tommy, Bubby, Dr Coomer, G-man

- Sleeping Dogs w/ Wei, Jackie, Winston, Conroy, Ricky

- Ghosts (BBC) w/ Thomas, Julian, Kitty, The Captain, Fanny

Others Pt.2:

(The ones I'm the least confident in/know less about)

- Sons of the Forest w/ Kelvin, Virginia

- (OG) Ninjago w/ ALL the (OG) ninjas

- Minecraft: Story Mode w/ Lukas, Jesse, Petra, Axel, Olivia, (old) Order of the Stone

- Henry Stickmin Collection w/ Charles, Henry, Ellie

- Detroit: Become Human w/ Connor, Ralph, Markus, Kara, Gavin, Simon and Daniel

- Faith: The Unholy Trinity w/ John Ward, Lisa

Rules/what I do(n't) do:

Green is yes, orange is yes (but I'm not too confident in it), red is no

- Canon x reader

- Only canon characters (as in, not an 'x-reader')

- Angst, fluff, lime

- Romantic or platonic parings (please specify for platonic pairs)

- Suicide, SH, mentions of abuse/racism/homophobia/transphobia (NOT DEPICTED AS POSITIVE (ex of a good req: how would (character) defend against racism)), death, light gore

- Headcanons/bullet-points

- Monogamy, polyamory (please specify if you want a polyam relationship)

- Match-ups

- Pregnacy fics (I'm not a fan of them but I can try)

- Song/lyric fics (also not a fan but I could still do it)

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[walkerwords]

“The Savior Sessions” Part 20 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC/THE WALKING DEAD

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: The others return to Alexandria as the reader begins to recover. Michonne seeks out Negan while Daryl speaks to the reader. Still dealing with what happened at the fair, nobody is ready to relax and nobody is ready to back down.

Word Count: 3327

Warning: Swearing, Brief Mention of Child Abuse

Song I Wrote To: “Yours” by Ella Henderson

Note: This is definitely a filler, but I enjoyed writing a lot of the conversations.

----------

As the sun rose again in Virginia, everything was covered in blinding-white snow.

You lay in a soft bed as a thick bandage was wrapped around your torso, securing the fresh sutures in place. Negan’s body was pressed against yours as he slept soundly by your side. In the chair next to the window, Siddiq slept as well.

Everything that had happened the previous night came back to you. The storm, the pain, and the look on Negan’s face had you taking a deep breath. The past few weeks had been trying to say the least. You had lost too many people and for a while, you hadn’t let yourself feel the pain of those losses. Yet, as you laid in that bed which you knew was in Aaron’s home, you felt your heart being crushed in your chest. 

What were you supposed to do now? How were you all supposed to get through it? Your thoughts went to Carol and Ezekiel. How were they supposed to move on after Henry? The death of a child was never easy, especially when they were taken by force with violence and blood. 

There was a feeling of loneliness in that room. You began to think about what would have happened if you hadn’t gone after Negan and Judith in that storm. Would they have found their way back? Or would you be looking for their frozen bodies in the bright morning instead? 

You always hated to think of Negan as a Walker, but you had never really let yourself think of him as actually dead. Negan was the ultimate survivor and it was as if nothing could touch him. You started to wonder if perhaps that wasn’t true after all. 

Your injury stung as you shifted in bed, waking up your companion. “Hey,” he whispered. 

“Hi,” you said back, blinking up at him. 

“Get any sleep?” he asked with a yawn. 

“Enough,” you said and then winced again. 

“It’ll feel better in a few days,” Negan said. “Siddiq told me it wasn’t even as deep as my injury. You’re gonna be just fine.”

“That’s good,” you said with a sigh. “How’s Judith?”

“Finally with her brother,” Negan said with a glance towards the closed door. “She wouldn’t leave the doorway until she knew you were okay. Shivering and all with that damn dog at her side. Laura finally was able to drag her away just as you lost consciousness.” 

“I don’t remember that,” you said with a frown. 

“I don’t blame you, you were pretty out of it,” he said, brushing his fingers along your temple. “Don’t do that again, okay?” 

“Do what?”

“Scare the shit out of me,” he said easily. 

“Like you haven’t done it to me,” you said with your brows raised. 

“I’m different,” he said. 

“Not really,” you countered. Negan sighed, realizing he was losing the argument if you could even call it that. Instead, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to the side of your head. 

“I’m glad you’re okay, (Y/N),” he whispered. 

“Me too.”

“Siddiq wants to move you to the infirmary as soon as everyone is up and about,” Negan said. 

“What about you?” you asked. 

“I ain’t gonna leave you,” he promised. “I’ll be there until they can shovel the snow out of my cell.”

“You know,” you began, “as much as I hate storms, they have been beneficial for us.” 

“Amen to that.” 

Exhaustion was still leaning heavily on you as you began to drift off again. Negan kept his arms around you as you succumbed to the fatigue. However, he was wide awake, determined to just enjoy being by your side like this even with the good doctor snoring a few feet away. 

It wasn’t long after you fell back asleep when the door opened. He figured it was Judith or Laura, but he didn’t expect to see Rosita peeking her head in. She noticed Siddiq first and rolled her eyes, however, when she turned to look at Negan her face remained neutral. 

“Do they need anything?” she asked him, watching as you slept. 

“No, but thanks,” he said awkwardly.

His relationship with Rosita was an odd one. While he had murdered Abraham in front of her, Rosita didn’t seem to store that same amount of hate and venom for him as Maggie did. However, she had been the one to try and shoot him after he gutted Spencer in the street.

He also knew that she would never forgive him for all the things he did and he didn’t expect her to. He just hoped that one day they could be civil with one another for more than a few seconds at a time. 

Perhaps that started now. Just as she was about to leave, he stopped her. 

“Rosita,” he said and she turned to look at him. “Uh, I—” 

“I know,” she said quickly. It wasn’t much and he knew it was never going to be okay, but it was something. He nodded to her and then with a nod of her own, she left the room, closing the door tightly behind her.

----------

Michonne and the others arrived home as soon as the storm calmed down. 

After a cheerful reunion and a few snowballs thrown back and forth, Judith finally told her mother what had transpired the night before. And so, Michonne went in search of her Daughter’s hero. 

Again. 

Negan was leaning his forearms on the side of your bed in the infirmary when Michonne pushed open the door, letting the cool air in. Siddiq had ordered you to the infirmary as soon as it was clear enough to walk. Negan hadn’t even let you take a step without lifting you in his arms and taking you himself. 

While you were finally feeling as if your toes weren’t going to fall off, the pain in your side was still near excruciating. You were asleep before Negan could even place the blanket over your shoulders. He had been watching over you all morning and didn’t want to move. However, the look on Michonne’s face had him getting up and walking around the corner, careful not to wake you. 

Negan stood before Michonne awkwardly but eventually made the first attempt at a conversation. 

“Look who’s back,” he said quietly. Michonne then placed her hands in front of her and looked him in the eye. 

“Thank you, for saving her,” Michonne said and Negan nodded to her. “Again.” She went on, “let’s try not to make it a third.”

“That one’s on her, Boss,” Negan said. 

“Yes, I suppose it is,” Michonne said with the faintest hint of a smile and then glanced over to where you were sleeping. “How are they?”

“Bit busted up,” Negan said with a sigh. “But they’ll live.”

“Not a good feeling, is it?” Michonne said. 

“What?”

“Thinking you’re about to lose someone you care about,” Michonne finished, but there was no malice behind her statement. Negan ran a hand over his head, feeling every beat of his heart in his chest. 

“No, no it is not,” Negan admitted. “I thought I’d be waking up to white eyes in the morning rather than tired ones.”

“I know that fear,” Michonne said and then they were both quiet until Negan once again broke the silence. 

“You know,” Negan said, “Dr. Babydaddy said that you got caught in the storm with the Royalty Brigade. Is everyone okay?”

“Do you care?” Michonne asked with raised brows. 

“Look, I don't know any of those people from Adam,” he said. “I do know what it's like to lose a kingdom, see things fall apart. And it sucks ass.”

“The Sanctuary’s a shithole,” Michonne said as she leaned against the wall next to her. Negan chuckled slightly. 

“Well, hell, I could have told you that,” Negan said and then something dawned on him. “You cut through Alpha’s territory,” he realized. “Ballsy.”

“We don't even know if they were there,” Michonne said. 

“They’ll know you were there,” Negan said. “Something tells me they got eyes everywhere.” 

“That’s reassuring,” Michonne scoffed. 

“I ain’t trying to be reassuring, Michonne. I’m trying to be real.”

“I know,” she said. “I know you are, you’re not a bull-shitter.” 

“No, I’m not.”

Michonne nodded, getting where he was coming from. No matter what people thought about the man, he never lied when it mattered and he wasn’t going to sugar coat anything. 

“How bad is it?” Michonne asked then, gesturing to you in the bed. 

“How bad is what?” he asked. 

“You forget that I’ve been with them through all the ugly shit, Negan. I know about the way they have nightmares and how they shut down and internalize everything.” Negan frowned, but he knew what she was talking about.

“I can tell that they’re closed off, even to me. They told me a little bit of what happened, but I know there’s more,” Negan said, glancing over at you. 

“Do you know much about Terminus?” Michonne asked. 

“(Y/N) told me,” Negan said. “Some fucked up shit.”

“Yeah,” Michonne agreed. “(Y/N) wouldn’t eat for a while afterward. Even after we got here, they could barely look at food without gagging. The nightmares came the first night after we got out of that slaughterhouse and I still see them flinch when raw meat is in view. No matter what they tell you, there’s always going to be more.”

“I’m not sure I’m equipped to handle that,” Negan admitted. 

“You are,” Michonne told him. “Can I trust that you will help them through this?”

“What exactly are you asking me to do, Michonne?” Michonne pushed off the wall and headed for the door. As she turned the doorknob she gestured to your sleeping form. 

“(Y/N) helped you,” Michonne reminded him. “It’s time to return the favor.”

--------

The next time you woke up, you were greeted by a different face. 

“Lydia?” you groaned as you tried to sit up. She was there in an instant, trying to help you. You winced in pain as you tugged at your stitches.

“Are you in pain?” Lydia asked, worried. 

“It won’t last long,” you assured her as you finally got a good look at her. Her cheeks were pink, but she looked unharmed. You then glanced around and noticed it was just the two of you. 

“I saw him leaving with Gabriel,” Lydia said. “He’s helping with clearing the wall and gates.” You were surprised to hear that. 

“You met Negan?” you asked her, but Lydia was shaking her head. 

“Just saw him and asked Daryl who he was,” Lydia said. “Kind of hard to miss considering how tall he is.”

“Everyone always notices the height first,” you said with a small smile. Lydia nodded then as she picked at the loose threads of her gloves. You lay your hand over hers. “Are you doin’ okay?” She shrugged then, but when she looked back at you, tears were welling up in her eyes. “Ah, kid,” you said as you pulled her into your arms gently. 

Lydia leaned on your shoulder, careful of your injury as she cried. You held her back as tight as you could, smoothing down the bits of hair that escaped the hat on her head. “I should have told Ezekiel sooner,” Lydia said into your arm. “I should have known what she was going to do.” 

“None of this is on you,” you said to her, fighting your own tears. “Do not think that you had anything to do with this. Alpha did this and she did it to hurt all of us, but most importantly, she did it to hurt you. That is not what a parent is supposed to do. They are supposed to protect their children from hurt, not invoke it.” 

“She was all I had and now she doesn’t even want me,” Lydia said with a cough. You grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back so you could look at her. 

“She was not all you had, not anymore. I’m here, Daryl’s here, Michonne and the others too. Nobody is going to abandon you again. We care about you, Lydia.” 

“You don’t know that,” Lydia said as she wiped at her face. “I don’t even know if I’m able to care about someone anymore.” You frowned, taking a moment before deciding to tell her a story.

“I lost someone at the beginning of this whole thing,” you began. “I’ve never told anyone this, but it was one of my old students. His father used to beat him as your mother beat you. He didn’t think he was capable of having a family or anyone that cared about him enough to fight for him. I wasn’t going to let him think that he was that alone in this world. I got him out of his home when everything happened and I protected him when his father tried to kill us after he turned from a bite.

“What I didn’t know was that this kid, Elliot, had already been bitten by his father. He tried to comfort his dad when he was dying and his father turned too quickly. After everything that his father did to him, he still tried to show him just an ounce of love, even if he didn’t think he deserved it. Elliot was always capable of showing that he cared and that he had compassion. Even when he was dying, he tried to make sure that I was okay. You don’t lose that, Lydia. You were born with a kind heart and you’re not going to lose that.” 

Lydia was looking at you as you let the tears fall on your cheeks. You had never told that story to anyone, not even Carl or Rick. Thinking of Elliot dying in that school gymnasium opened up that hole in your heart again. It wasn’t long after his death that you found your way to the hills and met Carl and Daryl. Elliot had asked you to go find a new family and so you did. Now, it was time for Lydia to realize that she had now found hers. 

“Don’t give up on yourself, okay?” you asked, wiping away a few stray hairs off her face. Lydia nodded as she lay back down and curled up as she finally let herself rest for the first time in a long time.

------

Later that night, you were awake but Negan was asleep. 

Michonne and Gabriel had once again let Negan stay by your side for another night. It wasn’t permanent, but his cell wouldn’t be back to normal for a few nights. They kept the infirmary door locked at night and Laura or someone would remain on watch inside, but Negan was still there. 

His heavy winter coat was around your shoulders as you flipped through an old medical book in the candlelight of the room. You were getting to the section on breaks and fractures when footsteps came around the corner. Heavy boots that you immediately recognized as Daryl’s.

His eyes fell on Negan who was fast asleep in the bed next to yours, his arm tossed over his face. Daryl frowned, but then looked at you, and the tension in his body lessened. “Hey,” you whispered. 

“Hey, yourself,” he said, sitting in the chair next to you. 

“He sleeps like a log,” you said. “I don’t think an air siren could wake him up.”

“Just one more thing for me to find annoyin’ about him,'' Daryl said and you rolled your eyes. “I heard ya had an interesting night.” 

“Yeah, had to save your damn dog, didn’t she? Always the little hero,” you said with a small smile. 

“M’glad your okay,” Daryl said. 

“Me too,” you said, gripping his hand in the low light. He gripped yours back, feeling the solidarity between the two of you. “You were so stupid to go through their territory,” you said. 

“I know,” he sighed. “I guess we just gotta wait for the payback now.”

“I hate that she has this hold on us,” you said. 

“We’re gonna figure this out, (Y/N),” he said. “I ain’t gonna let her hurt anyone else.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you warned. Daryl sighed, leaning on the edge of your bed before looking behind him at Negan again. 

“So, you’re good, then? The two of you?” he said, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder. You nodded and then hesitated, not sure if you were going to tell him more, but Daryl could tell you wanted to and so he was patient.

He was a man of very few words, but a great listener. However, your relationship with Negan would be something you told Paul about and not Daryl. Then again, there is a first time for everything. 

“I told him I loved him,” you said quickly in a whisper. Daryl froze for a second before nodding and chewing on the skin of his thumb.

Now it was your time to be patient. You let him absorb the information you just laid on him and then you started to get nervous. Maybe this would be the final straw. He seemed to be fine with your feelings at first, but this was more than just glances through iron bars or the sharing of hot tea. 

Eventually, he spoke. “I see,” Daryl said quietly, finally meeting your eyes. 

“That’s all you’re gonna say?” you asked, surprised. 

“I ain’t mad if that’s what you’re gettin’ at,” he said. 

“Are you sure?” you asked.

“Mmhmm,” he said. Which from Daryl was as good as any promise. 

“You still gonna talk to me?” you asked. 

“Always.” 

“Daryl,” you continued, “I want to assure you that if it came down to it, I would fight for this place and these people above everything. Even him,” you said. Daryl gave you a small smile before getting to his feet. From his pocket, he pulled out something you never thought you would see again. 

One of your rifle casings, one of the ones you once fired at the Sanctuary.

Daryl set it in your hand and you could feel the years of corrosion on the inner rim. It felt odd to hold in your hand, but oddly comforting. Looking back at him, you could see that he wanted to believe what you said but didn’t. 

“Daryl?” you asked. 

“Like you said,” he whispered, “don’t make promises ya can’t keep.” 

As Daryl left, you lay in that bed and thought of what was to come. That feeling was back in the air, the one your mother warned you about. Your people had crossed into enemy territory and you knew that what happened at the fair was nowhere near the end of it. 

Alpha wasn’t going to stop and you knew Carol too well to know that she wouldn’t either. A war was coming and as you held that casing in your hand, you wondered how many more lives were going to be lost because of the masked enemy. 

However, there was still the knowledge that all of you were survivors. 

You had survived the CDC, the farm, The Governor, Terminus, and the Wolves. You had even survived the Saviors and their brutal leader, the same leader who lay in the bed next to yours.

All those years ago, Negan had stood before you and your family and welcomed you all to the “New World Order”. If only he had known what that new world would produce and just how terrifying it would be. 

Turning to look at Negan, you could see the steady rise and fall of his breath and it gave you some solace, but not enough. Nothing was going to snuff the fear that crawled along your skin with every minute of wakefulness. The nightmares would be worse, but you did know one thing for sure. 

The day that Alpha made her move, all of you were going to be ready.

AN: And into season 10 we go. There will be a small time jump, but I will work it in as seamlessly as possible.

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