#they have thoughts emotions and feelings
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After a few hunger strikes and health worries, baby girl has finally started eating regularly and putting on weight. She was a very good girl and held still today while I weighed her- normally she's a wiggle worm who is unusually talented at hitting the tare (reset scale) button.
Whenever Scoria is out her sister Sakura watches us very carefully. At first, she didn't trust me and acted like she had some bad experiences with humans before I got her. At that time Scoria was the only being in existence she felt safe with and could flee to when she was frightened, so it's no wonder Sakura worried over her when I had her out, and thoroughly checked her over when I put her back in her enclosure.
Her look isn't one of fear and worry anymore though. Now she has one of curiosity. Of learning. When she sees me hold Scoria, she wants to try it too. When she watched me gently cup my hand around her sister, she wanted to try hiding in a "hand cave" too. And after seeing Scoria and I cuddle, she bravely came out the next morning, curled up and snuggled me for a few minutes.
It's quite the experience living with these two sweet girls who care so very much about each other, and seeing how they think and even change their thoughts and actions over time. It's also really neat to see how they both learn from watching, and trust each other's judgement.
Honestly I think people don't give snakes enough credit as far as intelligence and empathy/care are concerned. There's still so much about them we don't know, and I'm amazed by the things they show me.
#pets#snakes#hognoses#sisters#cute#I think a lot about what humans “know” about keeping this species is wrong#unless my girls are an anomaly#but I don't think so#I think hoggies are just this way#and some can benefit from friends#just like rattle snakes!#Sakura's life has drastically improved since Scoria became a part of it#and she knows it#she cares more about the well being of her sister than anything else#when Scoria isn't around Sakura is a much more timid fearful snake#but if her sister is near and relaxed#Sakura is calm and relaxed too#and super sweet and friendly#she's trying to learn to be brave#and Scoria knows too#Scoria will help me and let me pick them both up#So her sister feels safe#when I set Scoria down in the enclosure to focus on a wiggly Sakura#Scoria almost went off to play but changed her mind to watch us a few minutes to make sure we were alright together#before doing her own things#they aren't just mindless things roaming around aimlessly#they have thoughts emotions and feelings#and an understanding that their friends have thoughts and feelings too#the level of understanding I see amazes me#sometimes I think humans write animals like snakes off because they can't communicate this in plain English
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It seems there's a new lawyer in town!!!
#I think she's one of the most underutilized characters ever I will DIE on this hill#she can hear people's feelings that is the COOLEST concept ever#you get people who can hear thoughts a lot and that's cool but hearing FEELINGS is such a sick and unique concept#AND SHES A LAWYER#THATS THE COOLEST CAREER YOU COULD GIVE SOMEONE WHO CAN HEAR FEELINGS THAT OPENS DOORS FOR SO MANY GOOD STORIES#I'D LOVE IN AA TO PLAY CASES AS HER WHERE YOU HAVE TO WORK BACKWARDS FROM PEOPLE'S EMOTIONS TO FIGURE OUT MYSTERIES#IT'S A WHOLE NEW SIDE TO THE EVIDENCE#AND SUBTLE HIDDEN FEELINGS KEEP GUIDING HER AND PPL JUST CANT KEEP UP WITH HOW SHE WORKS... STUFF LIKE THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING#WHY ISN'T IT UTILIZED WHY DO WE JUST HAVE PSUEDOSCIENCE MINIGAME#ATHENA IS SO LIKEABLE AND CHARMING AND FULL OF LIFE TOO#PLEASE CAPCOM#I LOV E HER PLEASE#GIVE US A CRAZY MOMENT WHERE SHE TAKES PHOENIX ASIDE HALFWAY THROUGH A CASEAND TELLS HIM HIS CLIENT WAS JUST ELATED AT THE SIGHT OF A CORPS#OR DO IT IN THE GAMEPLAY WHERE THE PLAYER SPOTS IT IN THE MOOD MATRIX#omg yeah actually that'd make me shit my pants that'd be so cool#proper ghost trick moment#THERE'S SO MUCH COOL STUFF YOu can do fuck okay sorry there are so many tags now#can you tell I got feelings abt this character I LOVE HER so much Im in love w her tbh and she's also so me#ace attorney#athena cykes#my art#have a good day thanks for looking at my art haha
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Man is it just me or are a lot of TV shows nowadays are written to have big emotional episodes in scenes with very little build up.
#txt#i have some thoughts on a certain show.... maybe i'll talk about it lol#like you would think with shortened seasons these writers would try to limit the cast so that big scenes feel more earned... but they dont?#they want these big massive expansive casts with big emotional moments by episode 2 and then every episode needs that Big Scene#i noticed this especially with a lot of indie animated shows#pacing and build up is sacrificed so we can have big emotional scenes with characters we know very little#even indie shows i enjoy im just kind of like “wouldnt this feel more earned if i actually knew this character”#and sometimes it works. pluto made me cry in the first episode! but it also spent so much time with these characters because#they're an hour long each
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The scene in the Barbie trailer when Barbie is skating around with Ken and asks "Why is everyone staring at me?"
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE AN ADOLESCENT GIRL.
Living in Barbieland (childhood girlhood) but then suddenly you're all grown up in the real world subject to scrutiny and sexualisation (the guy slapping Barbie's ass) and feeling like existing is a crime?
Being forced by adult men into a box (which leads to the not like other girls syndrome) and exploring the 'real world' (being forced to grow up too quickly) while fighting the realisation that maybe the world sucks and being a woman is so difficult while hoping with all your heart that it's not always going to be this way.
Losing touch with the very things that made you happy because they're considered immature and girly? (The group of teens that said they hadn't played with Barbies since they were five.)
Older women telling you that you have to learn the truth about the world and that you can never have your old life back (Kate Mckinnon's Barbie) despite it being the only thing you yearn for, but also older women being a bright spot and support (the old woman on the bench) in the endless slough of life.
And this is just the trailer!!! I'm so excited for this movie I can't breathe, Greta Gerwig the woman that you are 😭
#barbie#more thoughts on this when my mental coherence returns#but ahhh!#im also really excited to see america ferrera's role because I have a feeling it's gonna be pivotal#Barbie meta#the barbie movie#barbie (2023)#shut up im so excited#ken is the emotional support pet every adolescent girl needs#THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A TEENAGE GIRL#i already love this movie so much#and it hasnt even released#thoughts r scattered cuz the trailer is that good
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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Five billion octopath 2 scribbles i feel sick
#i know what you are wouldve made more sense w temenos i just really wNted to draw castti <\3 west continent crew my beloved#this isnt chronological at all. besides the first ones thats the first octopath i ever drew#like seconds after i finished castti and hikaris first chapter.#infected my brain so quickly i feel like a new person#i could write an essay on my octopath thoughts and rambling omfg.play octopath#art tag#octopath traveler 2#oh my god theyre all here ok#castti florenz#hikari ku#agnea bristarni#partitio yellowil#throné anguis#osvald v. vanstein#temenos mistral#ochette#dolcinaea luciel#veronica octopath#she didnt get a last name.SAD#i have more of these by the way.so many#ORIS HERE I GORGOT#ori octopath#i love ori. if i had to sacrifice myself but remembered how nice paritio was last minute i would also change my mind#oh ym god elenas here too#elena vanstien#shout out to you know how getting added to cotc im so happy.im scared if i say his name thisll show up in his tag and he isnt even here#he looks beautiful. and alive. awesome#the cotc artstyle is soooo pretty i saw castti and felt emotional#anyway. ot2. this is where ive been the past few months.#oh castti can inquire people. i know what you are does make sense for her heh
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The line when Charles said, "Edwin's told me loads of stories about Hell," and him seeming to know he'd find a map in Edwin's book always hits me hard.
Now I acknowledge Charles might’ve been posturing to reassure the Night Nurse he could navigate Hell, but let's assume this fact was real.
Because that means that Edwin felt comfortable enough to talk about all of his trauma to Charles. He mentions Hell a lot in passing in front of the girls, but he never goes into specifics. However, it seems as if he actively told Charles quite a few details about Hell. I also noticed that Charles is very calm when he's going to find Edwin. Yes, he's studying the book a lot, but he is also navigating the space with a certain amount of confidence. I'm sure it's partially due to Charles' tendency to do things without thinking and project confidence. But also, it seems as if he might have at least a very basic level of knowledge or familiarity with the levels of Hell based on the stories Edwin told.
I think this is probably another reason why Edwin struggled to believe the fact that Charles had faced abuse in his past and never shared it with Edwin. Because Edwin was always up front and honest with Charles. He told him the very first time they'd met that he had just escaped Hell. I'm sure Edwin did not want to relive his memories of Hell, and maybe it took him decades to feel like he could share. But I bet when he started talking about it with Charles, he felt relief. Because sharing your trauma with someone who accepts you and loves you no matter what is always a relief after holding it in and pushing it down.
So I just imagine Edwin feeling that relief after sharing his stories from Hell and feeling closer and more bonded with Charles because of it...and then he finds out that Charles has this huge amount of trauma from his past that he has been keeping inside. It probably breaks Edwin's heart that he hadn't been able to offer Charles the same relief he'd felt.
And yes, Crystal mentioned that Charles was probably denying the trauma even to himself. We all know that Edwin knew something was off with Charles and that he was probably frustrated in himself because he hadn't been able to figure it out, but Crystal apparently had.
But I also think there might be another level to it. The boys have been solving cases for 30 years. I find it hard to believe that they never had another case involving abuse or at least someone with a controlling personality that would've reminded Charles of his father. Maybe Edwin thinks back to a couple of those cases and how Charles was acting strange and withdrawn during them and realized he'd missed a huge clue about how his friend was feeling.
All those years of sharing his stories from Hell and being comforted by Charles and Edwin hadn't been able to do the same. Edwin is definitely hurt that Charles didn't feel like he could confide in him and heartbroken to think about how much pain his friend was going through alone.
#i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Charles bottling up his emotions and trauma and this is the latest one#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#abuse tw#abuse mention#also its like 1am here and i literally had stop writing the latest chapter of my fic because this wouldnt leave my brain#just another heartbreaking headcannon about the boys
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During a case many years ago, a witch made a poppet (roughly equivalent to the popular conception of a “voodoo doll”) of Edwin. They defeated the witch soundly and got the poppet, but there’s no safe way to destroy it. The only place Edwin and Charles trust as safe enough to keep it is inside Charles’s backpack, where no one but Charles could possibly get to it.
Charles largely forgets about it, buried deep deep down in the bag, until Edwin is held captive, less than a year after their jaunt to Hell, and there’s absolutely no way to get to him until the portal opens again at the next full moon, and he’s going crazy with worry, imagining Edwin in all sorts of misery without Charles not even able to so much as comfort him. He’s digging mindlessly through the bag when he gets to the poppet, and, he realizes, there is this one thing he can do.
He pulls it out with a care he wouldn’t give to a Faberge egg, because this is the most precious thing in the world, in any world, and looks at it for a moment. Then he reaches out ever so gently and strokes its hair. He murmurs reassurances to it - it’s alright, I’m sorry, I love you. He sings lullabies, curls around it and hugs it against him so, so carefully, tilts his head down and presses kisses to its soft curl-covered head.
He doesn’t let the poppet go for even a moment on all the days until the full moon returns, even as he’s preparing for battle, preparing to absolutely fucking obliterate the bastards that are holding Edwin.
Just as the portal opens, he finally places the poppet back in his bag, in the safest, warmest corner. He hefts the arsenal in his arms and strapped to his back and floating around him and charges through.
He tears through the stronghold in minutes, and he does literally mean through - he’s left a trail of smoking rubble behind him where ghost-proof walls used to be - and finally, finally gets to Edwin, and -
“Ah, Charles, there you are. Not to worry, I’m quite alright. There has been some sort of force - “
Charles doesn’t even hear him as he wraps himself around Edwin, and his body follows the same motions it has for weeks now, stroking hair, pressing kisses, murmuring muffled you’re alright I love you you’re alright I’m sorry I love you I’m sorrys into Edwin’s hair, which is even softer in reality than on the poppet, and Edwin says -
“Ah. That was you.”
Charles can’t see or hear anything other than Edwin, at the moment, but he can’t not see Edwin, so he has a very clear view as Edwin reaches his arms out and, with a few words, takes control of all the magical weapons and orbs and so forth that have been trailing after Charles.
And he hears when Edwin says “Well, then, Charles, shall we depart?”
And he feels it when Edwin lifts him as effortlessly as he lifted the poppet, holding him so he can keep his nose buried against Edwin’s neck as Edwin blasts his way out.
And he definitely feels it when, a few very loud minutes later, they’re back in their office, and Edwin’s head turns to meet one of his kisses.
“It’s alright, Charles. I’m sorry I left you alone. I love you.”
#dead boy detectives#payneland#mine#this was originally intended to go in a very different direction#my first thought was Charles and Edwin having each other’s poppers because who else would they trust like that#then I was thinking Charles has Edwin’s and for some reason Edwin lies about it working#the first time Charles tries to comfort him at a distance with it#so Charles goes ‘well if he can’t feel it anyway no need to hold back’#and every time he feels love for Edwin he lavishes it on the poppet#but the emotional dynamics that would be required for both of them to#keep quiet in this scenario#were too complicated for a tumblr post#so. here’s this
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re-watching the second episode of leverage and wondering, for the first time, how much of a revelation nathan ford's crusade was for eliot spencer.
did he have any plan, before then? any path forward that brought him closer to where he wanted to be? or was he stuck in a holding pattern, figuring that retrieval work for rich people who weren't damien moreau was as close to becoming a better man as he could ever reach?
how much did it mean to him, do you think, to be given the opportunity to do some good in the world again?
obviously he's of the opinion he'll never be redeemed, and he's not wrong, per se. but I'm suddenly curious about the internal journey there, for him, in the early days. do you think it was like a gentle dawn finally breaking? do you think it was a relief? or was it terrifying? realizing that he could actually do better, that what he chose to do next actually mattered?
no wonder eliot never abandoned nathan ford, despite all possible provocation. how could he ever betray or desert the man who gave him a hand up out of the darkness, who showed him there was still a path forward?
#leverage#eliot spencer#nathan ford#because that's the thing#im watching homecoming and realizing:#this is not what eliot was doing already#he gets SO INTO IT#out of all of them eliot is so dedicated to thoughtfully doing right#by all the people they meet#but before that moment at the end—#where HE. HE IS THE ONE TO SAY IT. to say: 'one more.'#to give in to the pull of a calling again#(oh how terrifying that must have been. to feel that call again)#before that moment eliot was lost#he'd never thought to himself that he could actively do good anymore#only that he could choose to passively NOT do bad things#full of emotion about eliot spencer of all things tonight#meta
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here's the scene i've mentioned before where nemesis and melinoë talk about hypnos, for those who wanted to see it!
#hades 2#hades game#had to comb through my recording of my playthrough to get it. but it's worth it#there's another scene where nemesis says melinoë shouldn't talk to him because he's not listening#to which she replies that hypnos for sure must have been sensing her thoughts and emotions even in sleep#and nemesis is like oh yeah. getting a feel for other people's thoughts and emotions is sooo hypnos. lol. lmao even#i can't wait for the reveal i want to see how melinoë will react#i might make a compilation of hypnos related scenes for those of you who are also weirdly into the little guy like i am
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as someone who has unknowingly been in a "mentally unstable femme/do anything for you butch" [i was the do anything for you butch] dynamic i have to say it did severe damage to me and my idea of self worth. i was walked on in horrendous ways. i was not treated like a human or a person with feelings. i was manipulated. i was sexually coerced to do things that no one should ask someone else to do. it has taken me the better part of a decade to recognize the damage this did to me, and it took a strong network of friends (and a particularly supportive and protective femme friend) to help me realize that i deserved to be treated like a person.
i am really tired of seeing butches and femmes alike endorse the idea this is uwucute. its not. its extremely damaging. butches, please find your self worth. recognize that you have needs too. femmes, respect that butches are people. saying mentally unstable femmes use service-oriented butches is downright wrong and disrespectful. i dont care if its a joke or memepost. im exhausted. i know there is a lot of loneliness in being butch and femme. but we don't need to be glorifying unhealthy relationship dynamics, even as a joke. you can get the dynamic you seek (dominance and control) from healthy individuals that respect your personhood. everyone in the community deserves better.
#this is all i have the energy to say for now#i have been in SEVERAL relationships where people that needed help used me instead.#and sometimes in terrible ways.#and i thought i had to tough it out or it was worth it because thats what love and devotion was about.#ITS NOT.#the moment you have to stifle your feelings comfort or self worth is the moment it becomes a problem#the moment we conflate manipulation due to emotional instability with NEGOTIATED manipulation is the moment we are disrepecting all involve#slug.txt
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because it’s easier, isn’t it? to not do anything?
#abacus art#in stars and time spoilers#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat#isat isabeau#i have so many thoughts and feelings abt isabeau….#he’s literally me#idk reading this scene for the first time was like oh. siffrin’s getting on isabeau’s insecurities abt his past self#idk this was gonna be better and more profound#but yk how sometimes emotional art is just some scribbles#that’s what this is or whatever
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cressida practicing writing by putting all her thoughts into unsent letters to eloise
all her feelings of betrayal and inadequacy and yearning and loneliness
and then her aunt jo finds all these sealed letters and mails them off trying to be helpful and then cressida is losing her mind when she cant find them
meanwhile eloise has just received several months worth of mail all at once to a rainy secluded castle in scotland
#bridgerton#bridgerton s3#cressida cowper#bridgerton spoilers#creloise#eloise bridgerton#eloise x cressida#lesbian#eloise watching as cressida'a thoughts and feelings evolve along with her writing style#eloise having to cycle through all these emotions at once instead of having time to process them like cressida#OR eloise reading one letter every morning and spending the rest of the day thinking about her
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It’s unrealistic, but in my mind I’ve decided that part of the look on Charles’ face after Edwin confessed is because Charles JUST got over his crush on Edwin. The boy was secretly holding a torch for his best friend for over twenty years, but since Edwin showed no signs of returning his feelings, or maybe he just didn’t want to risk it, Charles never said anything. He thought he’d finally gotten over it, and maybe he could move on and like Crystal for a while, when Edwin hit him with a full-on love confession, and now Charles has to deal with any residual feelings coming back, fighting with the growing feelings he has for Crystal.
Boy is tired.
#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#dbda#dead boy detectives#charles’ new years resolution that year (honestly the last 5 years) had been to get over edwin#it was going mostly ok#not great#then Crystal came along and he thought he had an actual chance#a new crush for the first time in over 20 years!#then suddenly everyone’s hitting on his best friend#and then he’s forced to deal with ALL THE OTHER EMOTIONS he doesn’t want to feel#and then to top it all off the crush/love he was JUST convincing himself he could get over comes back to rear its ugly head when Edwin conf#goddammit Edwin your timing is terrible#could you not have fallen in love with Charles sometime in the last 20 years before now?#that moment when halfway through typing something you realise you’re projecting on your blorbo again
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JUST GUYS BEIN' DOODS
redraw of the meme under the cut
original by @knightmarebug
#knight rider#kr#michael knight#kitt#knight industries two thousand#bonnie barstow#mk2000#art#shitpost#doodles#having gasoline in a glass one foot away from a flame is a really good idea michael. your brain damage is showing#those bars were just so if i posted it to insta it wouldnt crop but then i thought it looked hilariously cinematic and left them for here#im very charmed by all kitt's alternate scanner patterns. i wish they were used a little more in the show but iirc the one car they rigged#to do that broke in like season 2 or 3 and they couldn't fix it. so they had to go without u _ u#but big emotions means big lights. to me. so he's happy about the date :) the whole bar lights up#he did that Once when he was scared for his life and i did not stop thinking about it. big feels is big lights#anyway i dont know what michael expected to happen; he's in the foundation's public garage. idiot dumbass#bonnie should get chessboard earrings she deserves them#''i hate drawing cars'' - keeps entering car fandoms. keeps drawing cars.
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that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them
but. does ivan know that…?
the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love? probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself
because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"
but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—
surely this selfish wanting can’t be love
...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die
but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...
I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)
but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself
#alien stage#alnst#alnst ivan#ivantill#i have a lot of thoughts on till -> mizi too but this is long enough#just attempting to rewrite my twt rambles more coherently#idk why i wrote this so dramatically tho...#'thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions' is going to haunt me to my grave#ivan's character is just a careful balance between his natural freak nature and his extreme depths of self-loathing#making him the most miserable guy ever#...really once you realize so much of what went wrong is thanks to ivan just hating himself too much to even think of them as friends. well#c...can we bring him back... don't die like this.....#(also you know. with the implications of how 'pets' are treated#wanting someone physically must feel... even more wrong
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