#they have normal garlic bread then cheesy garlic bread

[hychlorions]

found out i could just order garlic bread from that one pizza place that has really good garlic bread if i wanted to. nothing to stop me. the problem is they stopped selling their REALLY good garlic bread years ago. just the normal really good ones now

[puck-luck]

have your cake | quinn hughes

warnings: overstimulation, multiple orgasms, oral (fem!receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v, coming on reader's body, subspace (not directly called that but gf is DEEP in SOME headspace) pairing: birthday boy!quinn hughes x fem!reader summary: it's quinn's 25th birthday, so fem!reader gives him the chance to do his favorite thing in bed for as long as he would like. wc: 2992

“Thank you for dinner, sweetheart,” Quinn says, bringing his napkin to his face and wiping his mouth. “And thanks for not making my birthday such a big deal.”

He had asked for such, so you were just trying to follow his wishes. The Canucks hadn’t had a game today, so Quinn had gone to practice like normal. He had grabbed a drink with Petey, Garly, and J.T. afterward as a special treat for his birthday. You know that Tocchet had asked catering to make Quinn a singular birthday cupcake, since he isn’t the biggest fan of sweets during the season.

With you, though, he just wanted to spend his time. You made him a steak, his favorite. On the side, you baked a potato and heaped a healthy pile of green beans onto his plate. For fun, you made some cheesy garlic bread, and although he doesn’t normally eat gluten during the season, he’s never been able to deny your fluttering eyelashes and doe eyes. 

He cleared his plate. He always does, but you feel especially proud of your cooking today.

“You’re welcome,” you respond. “I’m glad you liked it. Has your birthday been good?”

Quinn nods. “It was a good day. Very calm. It’s still weird without Jack and Luke, but I talked to them earlier. They called me before practice, right after they got out of the gym.” He pauses, reaching out with his palm up so you take his hand. “This dinner is the cherry on top.”

“You haven’t even had dessert yet,” you tell him. “Since it’s your birthday, you get to have your cake and eat it, too.” You’d been thinking about the pun for hours. It might not make the most sense, given the dessert that you’re going to offer him in just a few minutes, but you think you’re funny. You’re on the last few bites of your own dinner, so you want to clear your plate and load the dishwasher before you offer him anything.

“Baby, I don’t need anything sweet,” Quinn says. “I already had something today.”

You take the final bite of potatoes, then swallow. You stand, collecting his plate and stacking it atop your own. “You’ll like it, I promise.”

“What is it?” Quinn asks.

“A surprise,” you tease, winking at him as you rinse the debris off of the plates with hot water. Then, you load the dishwasher and wash your hands, drying them with the towel that hangs near the sink.

“You’re such a tease,” Quinn laughs, pretending to chide you for withholding. He stands from the table and washes his own hands, but as soon as he’s done, he takes the opportunity to get handsy with you. He dries his hands on your clothes, leaving wet handprints over your ass and waist, plus one over one of your tits for good measure.

You twist away from him like you hate the antics, but it’s just the precursor to his dessert, which he doesn’t know yet. Sure, he’s probably hoping to get laid tonight– and it is his birthday, after all– but you had other plans.

Quinn rarely gets to do his favorite thing in bed. Part of that is because you’re both busy and when you fuck, you want to fuck. You like getting to the point where Quinn’s ample cock is buried inside you, filling you with his come, all while he murmurs little nothings about “you’re mine,” “gonna put a baby in you,” or the like. 

His favorite thing is to lay between your legs and eat you out until your thighs are squeezing his head and covering his ears and suffocating him. Like you said– you’re normally greedy for his cock, even impatient (which is how he often describes your attitude in bed), but today is Quinn’s birthday.

So, if he wants to, and he will want to, he’ll eat your pussy for dessert. He’ll eat you out until he’s had his fill, no matter how many orgasms it takes. You already set two full bottles of water on the bedside table in your shared room, plus you bought some fruit at the store so that you can recharge when he’s done with you. You’re expecting overstimulation, a fuzzy brain, and maybe even tears as a result of the pleasure.

You’re prepared for anything, because you’re at the mercy of the birthday boy today.

“Go to our room,” you tell Quinn. “I’m going to bring you dessert in bed, okay? I’ll be there in a few minutes. Just let me get everything ready.”

“Good idea,” Quinn says. “Then we won’t have to leave bed afterward.”

You playfully roll your eyes at him and shoo him away, but he’s absolutely correct. That’s the whole point.

Quinn goes, blowing you a kiss just before he walks out of sight because he can’t help himself from being silly when you share a domestic evening together. 

Once he’s gone, you pretend to prepare a dish. You open and close the fridge a couple of times, you click the lighter like you’re lighting candles, you remove plates and cups from the cupboard so that he hears the clatter and suspects nothing. As you move around the kitchen, shuffling along inconspicuously, you remove your clothes. 

Underneath your normal leggings, t-shirt, and one of Quinn’s Canucks sweatshirts lies your favorite part of the outfit. You’d been planning to do this since the end of September, so you’d had plenty of time to go to Victoria’s Secret and buy yourself a black, lace crotchless teddy. Quinn will get to look up at you in the (not-so cheap) fabric and admire how it fits you without sacrificing his ability to eat you out. There’s no barrier between your cunt and his tongue, despite the fact that you’ll still be clothed.

You have planned everything out to the final detail, to the final possibility, and you might be just as eager as Quinn will be when he sees you.

So that you’ll have something to snack on when he’s done, you actually wash the fruit you bought earlier and put it in a bowl. Holding the bowl in one hand, you politely knock on the bedroom door before entering.

Quinn is already in the process of removing his shirt and getting ready for bed. When you walk in, he turns to meet you. When he sees what you’re wearing, he freezes and his lips part in surprise.

In a second, you watch his expression melt into his typical “my brain has turned off and now the only thing that I can think about is getting my girlfriend in bed” look. 

“Happy birthday, baby,” you say, biting your lip as you take in his reaction. You put a hand on your hip and pop it to the side, showing off your outfit. 

“Are you my present?” He asks, a slow smile spreading across his face.

“I’m your dessert,” you correct.

“Even better,” Quinn decides, crossing the room and getting his hands on you. 

“Wait,” You tell him.

Quinn pouts, but drops his hands to his sides. 

You give him a little twirl, revealing the way that your behind is only partially covered by the lace of the lingerie. You move slowly, giving him plenty of time to stare at all of the parts of your body, thoroughly taking you in. 

He gives you a low whistle as you turn. You touch his jaw when you’re done, then you turn to the bed. You actually crawl from the foot of the bed, giving him a show.

When you collapse against the pillows, making yourself comfortable. Quinn stares at you, walking to the bed and touching your ankle. He draws a star on your skin, surveying the view.

“What can I– what do you want me to do?” Quinn asks, eyes still raking your figure.

“Whatever you want,” you reply. “It’s your birthday.”

“Whatever I want?” Quinn repeats.

You hum in affirmation. “Your fingers, your cock,” you list. You raise your eyebrows, bringing one of your legs up into a bent position. His eyes are drawn to your core. “Your mouth.”

Quinn’s attention snaps to your face.

“Whatever you want,” you confirm again. “For however long you want. All night, even. Birthday boy.”

“I love you,” Quinn says, climbing up onto the bed and settling between your legs. “You’re perfect.”

“I expect the same kind of treatment on my birthday,” you banter back, moving with his touch. He nudges your knee, so you spread your legs for him.

Quinn doesn’t reply, running his fingers over the fabric that lies on either side of your pussy. He pushes his thumb against your clit, applying pressure but not giving pleasure, not yet.

You take it as a sign that you’re in for a long night. So, you shift and make yourself more comfortable. You look down, watching Quinn.

He’s gentle to start. He presses sweet kiss after sweet kiss to your folds, to your clit which is still hidden. He takes his time.

You’re not sure which is true: if you’re wet of your own accord, or if Quinn’s gentle licks and smeared kisses make you that way.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. You’re wet and Quinn’s getting to do what he loves. You’re comfortable, he’s making satisfied noises as he grows more eager, and everything feels good.

You touch his hair, smoothing it off of his forehead. You tilt your head, admiring him with slow blinks and a serene smile on your face. 

Quinn has a one-track mind at the moment. Until he’s drawn an orgasm out of you, he won’t look up and check in. 

His tongue teases you, traipsing along your slit and circling your clit leisurely. He’ll run his bottom lip over the skin, letting it drag along your core and create unexpectedly satisfying friction. He’ll nose at your clit, bumping his features along your most sensitive points, just because he can. Quinn’s eyes are closed, fully immersing himself in the moment.

He works his tongue into you over time, at first teasing you with flicks and short dips, but it doesn’t take long for him to grow greedy for more– greedy for your release all over the muscle. It’s then that he licks into you as best he can, using his thumb to stimulate your bundle of nerves. He repeats the same motion over and over– prodding his tongue into you, drawing it out… again and again, all the while he’s pressing against your clit.

Your first orgasm builds slowly. Slow and steady wins the race, they always say, and Quinn is drawing the orgasm out of you like the tortoise in this race. You’re starting to feel a bit jumpy, like the rabbit, your hips aching to move beneath him and grind against his face.

But, this is his birthday present. You restrain yourself because it’s his gift. He gets to set the pace. If Quinn wants to make this the most built-up, desperate orgasm of your life, he’s allowed to do so.

It takes minutes. Minutes of Quinn humming and licking and touching you with the pad of his thumb until you feel yourself start to crest over the wave of your climax. 

“Close,” you breathe out.

Quinn pays you no mind, just continuing his ministrations until you’re clenching down on his tongue with a whimper. Your hand clutches his hair, trying not to seize up beneath him as you come, riding out the waves with his tongue still poking around inside of you.

He moves more slowly as you come down from your first, withdrawing his tongue from your cunt and licking over the slick that accumulated after your orgasm. 

“Again,” Quinn murmurs. He doesn’t allow you to take a breath before he finds your clit with his tongue and latches on. 

He seems committed to making your subsequent releases quick. His mouth feels like the tube of a vacuum against your clit, unrelenting and merciless. He’s sucking, and sucking, and sucking. 

Quinn is starting to get sloppy. He’s got slick all over his lips, all over his chin. He stares up at you now, nothing behind his hooded eyes. He’s just taking you in, looking at you from his favorite angle. 

His hands are resting on the insides of your thighs, laying securely to keep your legs spread for him. His pupils are dilated, massive and dark. His jaw works– you can see the bones in his face shifting as he tastes you. His face is scruffy as he nuzzles against you.

It isn’t long until you come again, just as strong as the first one. This climax seems to hit you harder, just because it came more quickly.

“Another,” he says into your skin, shifting one of his hands to push a finger into your heat. He doesn’t move his mouth from your clit, only intensifying his suction. 

“Fuck,” you reply, halfway between a moan and a cry for… something. A break? For more?

You’re not sure. Things are starting to blur together and turn fuzzy. You’ve come twice without a moment of reprise, because that’s what Quinn wants. You’ll give him as many as he desires, until you physically cannot give any more.

You close your eyes and lose track of time, seeing stars the next time Quinn makes you come. He’s worked up to a second finger now, scissoring them and removing his tongue from your clit to shove it between his fingers. All three are inside of you, bringing you over the crest again.

Then, a third finger and his tongue on your nipple. 

Then, again, with his tongue on your other nipple. 

Another with his mouth pressing insistent kiss after insistent kiss to your cheeks, lips, and neck. 

Your vision is black, then reeling with colors like that scene in Ratatouille when Remy mixes all of those different flavors, then like television static on an old TV. 

“One more,” Quinn’s voice comes out of the darkness.

You whine, high in the back of your throat. 

“I know, sweetheart,” Quinn murmurs. He’s touching your face, wiping underneath your eyes. “I know. You’re doing so well. You’re being so good for me. I love you so much– give me one more on my cock, okay? Then we’ll be done.”

“Quinn,” you keen, opening your eyes and finding it hard to look at him through the wetness there. You hadn’t realized that the overstimulation had gotten to you so much– but that’s what multiple orgasms will do to you. That’s how you react when your body is experiencing so much pleasure that it’s painful.

“That’s right, baby, I’m right here,” Quinn assures you. You can feel his cock nudging against your entrance, which feels like it’s gaping. You’re certain that your clit is swollen from the stimulation, the excessive stimulation. He sinks into you, inch by inch, cooing quietly to keep you grounded. “You’re so close already, I can feel it in the way you’re squeezing me. It’ll be quick, baby, I promise.”

He continues to talk while he fucks you, telling you how good you’ve been. He tells you how sexy you are, how perfect. He tells you how hard he’s been since you walked into the bedroom in your dirty, pretty lingerie and how he honestly thought he was going to come in his pants when you clenched down on his fingers for the third time and a weak dribble of your cum had dripped down his wrist. 

You’re far gone. Sure, you’re there– you can feel him inside, pumping into you and throbbing against your walls. You can feel the way Quinn’s lips move over your own when he kisses you and when he speaks, feeding the words directly into your mouth. His fingers are toying with your puffy clit, and you’re sure it feels nice, but all you can feel is heat and friction.

“Quinn,” you say again.

“Let go,” he instructs under his breath. “Let go for me. Come around my cock, baby.”

You nod, agreeing to a seemingly-impossible task. 

Quinn is always able to make the impossible happen. Your final climax manifests in shaking legs and bolts of lightning in your stomach, churning and folding in on itself. Your eyes are squeezed shut, tears leaking from the corners, which Quinn kisses away.

He doesn’t come inside you. After you reach your final peak, he pulls out. He jerks himself above you, continuing to kiss your face and praise you for being so good to him. He comes all over your stomach and you’re glad– if he had come inside you, or somewhere equally as sensitive like your tits, it would be far too much when the time came to clean you up. With his cum on your stomach, he’s able to wipe you down without causing you any discomfort.

When it’s all over, he helps you sit up and drink your water. He kisses your temples and your forehead, your cheeks and your jawline. He surrounds you with one of his big t-shirts, like a massive hug, and he pulls you onto his lap so that you can collapse into the crook of his neck. Quinn rubs your back and convinces you to eat some of the berries you brought into the room earlier.

You’re tired when you’re able to verbalize a full sentence again. You’re exhausted, really. Quinn pushed you to your absolute limit, although you’re not dissatisfied with the way things went. You sought a night where he could do whatever he wanted, which he did, and now you want to sleep.

“Happy birthday,” you muster.

Quinn breathes out a chuckle, cradling your jawline as you stain his neck with a splotchy kiss. “Thank you again for being so perfect,” he says. “You made my birthday so special, baby. Let’s sleep, okay? I’ll cuddle you all night long.”

Within minutes, you’re drifting off to the lullaby of his breath.

[scribble-brain-aced]

for pride month, i have:

a list of how the hazbin hotel had their gay awakening. (or lesbian, or bi, or trans, or aroace, pan, etc)

Charlie: she watched Sleeping Beauty, the year after it came out. she looked at Snow White and thought “wow, she’s so pretty.. but also Price Florian.. wait.” because this was in 1938, she didn’t know what bisexuality was, but she knew and accepted her feelings, because it wasn’t a big deal to her. in the 1970s, she found the label for it— bisexuality— and thought “OH THERE’S A NAME FOR THIS, YAY!” and that was that.

Vaggie: when she was still alive, in 2010, a friend sent her a photo of a genderbent character from some TV show, and her first thought was “oh, okay, i see why everyone’s in love with them now. …wait.” she spent the next 20 minutes looking up female versions of characters and realizing “oh. OH THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH” (based on my own story)

Angel: honestly, he can’t really say. he just kinda knew from the beginning that men were just hot, and he’d marry a guy if he could. molly just assumed he meant “yeah, men are just better than women” and went along with it, even though she personally thought both were radiantly beautiful. (she found out what pansexual meant in 1972.)

Husk: he has no idea. if asked, he just shrugs and goes “any hole is a goal, i couldn’t care less.” at one point, Angel just shoved a poster at him, Husk read it and was like “oh. i guess that’s me.” pretty chill reaction, just continued his normal day, but kept thinking “okay, wow, that’s ME.”

Sir Pentious: he just thought all people liked both men and women, but because of societal rules and whatever, they had to wait until they had a crush on the opposite gender. ..what do you mean thats not what being straight is. (he only found out what bisexuality was after he came to the Hotel and Charlie had a bi flag pin. he asked her what country that was, and she had to sit him down to explain the concept of LGBTQ+, and no, it is ABSOLUTELY NOT a mental illness, wtf, you’re fine, buddy, go be happy.)

Alastor: post-season 1, like three people separately wished him a happy asexual awareness week and he was so confused, he asked Angel to look up ‘a sexual’ on his phone because he couldn’t find anything at the library. (he was looking at the outdated library in cannibal town.) he read the definition, and locked himself in his room for the rest of the day. if anybody heard muffled screaming and somehow-happy-sounding swearing, nobody mentioned it.

Vox: pfft, what? no, he’s not gay! he’s perfectly straight! is it gay to say that men are just as good at women? …Val, what do you MEAN ‘no but yes’? (Valentino explained the entire history of LGBTQ+, stressing bisexuality. Vox just said “okay, okay, hear me out.. there’s a whole month for them, right? their whole thing is rainbows? what if we paint all of our logos rainbow-colored? they’d buy it!” Valentino gave up, because Vox just COULD NOT comprehend what he was trying to say. but he keeps sending bisexual memes to Vox.)

Valentino: he just always knew. come on, everyone’s hot, unless they aren’t. even better if they can be exploited. that’s all there is to it.

Velvette: pfft, she grew up with social media, she’s known about this shit since she was a kid. fuck love, fuck fucking, she’d rather pester Vox into making cheesy garlic bread. the guy’s a bitch, but he makes good cheesy garlic bread.

Baxter: back before he and sir pentious became bitter enemies, they were both talking about.. whatever. at one point, they got on the topic of clothing, and Baxter— then Bella— griped that he hated how dresses felt. too heavy, too annoying, and it made him feel sick, anyway. suits were just better, not just because they’re lighter. man, he wished he were a boy. pentious asked if he wanted to be a boy in general, not just for the suits, and after a moment, Baxter excused himself quickly to go find something in his library, shooing Pentious out of the house. a couple days later, he came out, transitioned, all that. the only reason he doesn’t cut off his light-lure thingy is because it’s useful. other than that, he avoids looking at it as much as possible.

[keruukat]

I’m baking some personal cheesy garlic breads tonight!!

Ingredients are:

1 pizza crust mix packet (I used thin crust Walmart brand- but any work! I’ve made dough from scratch for this, or fresh premade dough would work [like the pillsbury cans], just don’t use par-baked.)

2 large handfuls of a shredded cheese of choice- You could also use slices, might turn out cleaner. ( I used about a cup and a half of a blend of medium cheddar and mozzerella for these tiny loafs bc that’s what I had on hand, but the last time I made this I used up the last of a bag each of cheddar and Parmesan and added Swiss slices on top and that slapped!)

2-3 cloves of finely chopped garlic- or a spoonful of pre-chopped. I use the squeeze prechopped, so it was about two large globs?

2 tablespoons of softened butter (or some other spreadable fat)

Dash of Italian seasoning to taste (optional, could sub for oregano or basil as well)

Dash of pepper (to taste, optional)

Dash of any other spices you thing suit the vibe (onion powder, paprika, really whatever u want)

Instructions:

Make pizza dough according to instructions, then roll out to desired thickness. (If I’m using a dry mix I add a dash of Italian seasoning before adding the wet ingredients)

Mix softened butter, garlic, pepper, and any other seasoning you’d want (again, I usually use Italian seasoning!)

Spread the butter onto your rolled out dough as evenly as possible. Top with shredded cheese.

Slice the rolled out dough into squares or rectangles that fit upright into your loaf pan of choice. Stack/layer, then fit into the pan. Top with any shredded cheese that fell off as you were stacking or any garlic butter you have leftover.

Bake at your dough’s recommended temperature until the bread is browned. Cover with tin foil, then bake for another 5-20 minutes, depending on the size of your loaf pan. (For these small loafs, I did an extra seven. For the normal loaf pan I’d do 15-20 extra.)

Enjoy your pull apart cheesy garlic bread!

[lewinblue]

Sunny m'dear, the Ben Mears thoughts/thots are back to cause their usual chaos (lol).

-Literally nobody in the coven house ever goes hungry. If nobody eats it means that they were either too preoccupied with a hunt or somebody forgot to pay the gas and electric bill (lol).

-Everybody in the house learned to cook their own shit from an early age. Sure nobody's a gourmet chef or anything but it certainly feels like it sometimes.

-Ben's favorite thing is when he gets to make his Aunt Cindy and Uncle Sean's recipe for apple and cranberry roasted chicken. He'll let the roaster brine in the fridge for a couple of days and add the herbs and spices just before it gets set on top of a bed of carrots, onions and celery. That thing starts cookin, the entire household won't stay outta the kitchen.

-Father Callahan may be an Irishman but damn that man can cook Italian dinners like nobody's business. Lasagna, caccitore, gnocchi, you name it, he's got it in the recipe box. The lasagna's super meaty and cheesy and he even uses the tomatoes from the backyard garden to make the sauce.

-Of course who could live without Matt Burke's pasta bolognese? It's totally delicious but man does it have a ton of garlic in it. One of the coven members ate the leftovers before a hunt, ended up burping in the face of a vampire and it ended up killing the creature.

-Mike and Lucy will make a huge pot of chicken noodle soup and they add a little bit of dill and chickpeas to it. They even use all the dark meat from the chicken so it has all that good flavor in there.

-You've made all kinds of stuff too. A real favorite in the cold months is steak au poivre soup with all the potatoes and stringy little onion curls. Your homemade mac'n'cheese is a big hit too and there's almost no leftovers the next day.

-Mark and Randy will help you cook without question. Mark has a pretty good reign on the kitchen utensils but Randy usually uses his little baby knife to cut bread and apples. Randy loves helping you bake but Mark likes to go full mad scientist and work with the meat and it's only then that Ben has to be on standby to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

-Two members of the coven, Frank and Beth Daniels, are both from the Mi'kmaq Indian territory and they both make alot of the stuff they grew up with for Sunday dinners. Beth still has her grandma's baked bean recipe which takes a few days to prepare but damn it's delicious. Frank will make his family's bannock recipe for breakfast and homemade blueberry jam from his and Beth's orchard. You're pretty grateful whenever he and Beth come for Thanksgiving dinner because Frank constantly has to talk the men of the house out of deep frying the turkey every year (thank God he's a firefighter to boot, lol).

-Mark definitely takes the leftovers for lunch the next day. He loves it cuz it means not having to eat the gross school lunches and he loves seeing the look on the faces of all the snotty school bullies too (lol).

Sunny I'm sorry, I'm a big foodie and I didn't eat much this afternoon for lunch so this made me extra hungry 😋😋😋😋 (I'll have to elaborate more on the turkey fiasco, that might end up becoming a fic in November, lol).

Lol this made me so hungry.

I can just imagine a mayhap early on while schedules are still being worked out and everyone is figuring out what each of them are capable of. On more than one occasion there have been at least three dishes made because Father Callahan thought it was his turn to cook but Matt Burke had a taste for his bolognese and there are still left overs from last nights meal and of course someone insisted on dessert so now everyone is eating Thanksgiving quantities on a normal Tuesday.

[krenenbaker]

Recipes for Dove (and others, too)

This is a small selection of recipes that I put together for @dove-da-birb. They are some of the recipes that I and my family use, mainly vegetarian, but also with a few non-vegetarian options. I tend to adapt these a bit when I make them, usually adding more of the seasonings and aromatics, but the recipes are a good basis to build off of.

The recipes are from The Ultimate Vegetarian Cookbook, The Paleo Diabetes Diet Solution, and a couple websites (which I've linked).

Recipe Websites I Often Use

The 1940s Experiment - A website containing a variety of recipes from 1940s Wartime Britain. They can be a little hit-or-miss, but I linked a few of my favourites below. They're definitely rather British in nature, so may or may not appeal. Many of the recipes are wither vegetarian, or have a vegetarian option.

Just One Cookbook - A HUGE collection of Japanese recipes, from mains, to sides, to desserts, to a whole lot of other dishes. There are a lot of recipes that I've enjoyed from here!

Sides and Starches

Tattie Scones (Tippitiwychett) - I LOVE this recipe. It's just a really good starch to have with a meal!

Mock Black Pudding (The 1940s Experiement) - One of the many "mock" foods of the era, this is a fried, seasoned oat patty. It's nice with either veggies and a protein for dinner, or with eggs and tomatoes for a savoury breakfast.

Lemon Garlic Pasta (Pinch and Swirl) - Just a nice, simple pasta recipe. I generally add some spinach towards the end of the cooking process to wilt a little, and it's also really tasty if made (significantly) spicier. Roasting the garlic beforehand also adds another layer of richness to the dish, but it's not necessary.

Mains (Vegetarian)

Mushroom risotto (Recipe Tin Eats) - I posted about this the other day, but it's a really rather nice recipe if you enjoy risotto and/or mushrooms :)

Mock Goose (the 1940s Experiment) - Not goose, but a baked lentil dish! It's surprisingly nice, especially topped with cheese in the last few minutes of baking.

Mock Crab (The 1940s Experiment) - Again, not crab, but a cheesy scrambled egg dish. It's nice on toast as a quick lunch, with some fresh veg as a side. I would definitely recommend using less margarine/butter, as it can get a bit too oily otherwise.

Masoor Dahl (Choosing Chia) - This is an alright basis for this recipe, but I usually add about double the amount of seasoning (if not more). It's a quick recipe, though, so it's nice in that way.

Tofu Katsu Curry (Okonomi Kitchen) - I'm a HUGE fan of curries, especially Japanese curries. This recipe, with breaded tofu cutlets, is a nice recipe, and I often use it. I usually just make triangles, rather than the "cutlet" shape suggested on the website, and I also make "family style" curry (as in this recipe). (Also, Okonomi Kitchen is another website with a lot of good vegetarian/vegan dishes!)

Curried Squash Soup - I don't remember what this exact recipe is like, but you can alter the seasoning to suit your tastes ^w^ (Using frozen, cubed squash is a really good option here!)

Vegetarian Bolognese - You can use canned beans instead of dried, and though they won't have the bay leaf flavouring, it's a quicker way to make this sauce. I'd also recommend adding some heat, either with pepper flakes, fresh hot peppers, or canned chipotles.

Roasted Ratatouille - You can of course just use normal diced tomatoes for this. It won't have the same smokiness, but it's still just as good!

Mains (non-Vegetarian)

Greek-Style Turkey Burgers - My family makes these into meatballs, usually. They also need more seasoning than is called for in the recipe, by quite a bit. (Mint is also a nice addition to these!)

Baked Haddock with Peppers and Tomatoes - This recipe is more me just putting the concept in this collection, of white fish baked in a chunky tomato sauce. It's always just a nice, simple meal to have, especially with some rice or wild rice.

[handsome-john]

🎂 sorry I got knocked out by a nap before I could respond— Clef sends Gears home with lots of leftovers, and Gears takes a sample of each to work with him. Not a proper lunch, no, but to test to see which food item that he ate had the drugs in it, because Clef had to have drugged him, there was no way he just passed out after eating. All of the tests came back negative. It couldn’t have been his drink, either, since he got a glass of water straight from the tap. Maybe the glass had been drugged.

Clef invites him over the next week and serves him lasagna. Gears makes a show of taking a glass from the back of the cabinet, washing it out twice before filling it with tap water. He also cleans his utensils before he sits. He picks up his fork, and takes the first bite.

He’s immediately floored. It’s warm and cheesy, rich, too. Clef talks about how he’d been trying to make his own pasta, and that lasagna seemed like a good place to start “since all you have to do is roll it out flat, I can do that with a rolling pin and some elbow grease.” There’s a bit of garlic bread and he does as Clef says, sopping up the sauce on the bread for a delectable bite that almost makes him let out a little whine. There’s also a small salad. He clears his plate, and takes out his phone, starting a timer.

“The hell are you doing?”

“I suspect you have drugged me again. Therefore, I am going to time how long it takes me to fall asleep after I eat, to try to narrow down what type of drug you’re using.”

“I’m not using a drug— Christ, Charlie, haven’t you ever eaten something really good, and fallen asleep afterwards?”

Gears’ silence spoke volumes.

“Alright. Well, I’d suggest you move your experiment onto the couch.”

Gears goes back to the couch. It’s not long until he starts slowly starting to doze. He blinks hard to try to keep himself awake. Eventually, he can’t fight anymore. He stops the timer, sets his head on a throw pillow, and falls asleep. Clef smiles fondly at Gears as his breathing becomes deep and even.

Clef throws a blanket over Gears, and gently pets his hair. It was tempting to actually drug the food to make sure Gears would get some much-needed sleep after a meal, but this seemed to be working well enough, so why ruin a good thing and break Gears’ trust? Besides, it was a little cute, how adamant he was about Clef drugging him.

You're all good btw 🎂 take you're time.

Gears so convinced that something can't make him feel so nice under normal circumstances that he has to believe it's drugs. Charlie baby you're human, you're allowed to feel good after eating.

Key point that he thinks he's being drugged but he's still choosing to keep eating what Clef serves him

[splatoon-edits]

u should be on cheese bc there’s so many types sweet cheese spicy cheese pasta cheese and ya cheese 4 everyone - cheese anon

but why cant we all live in harmony and have a nice cheesy garlicy soup w bread to dip in it? or have you ever made a grilled cheese but instead of normal butter u use garlic butter so it makes it like a garlic bread grilled cheese? cuz its RLLY good.

but u do make a very compelling point about cheese in pasta dishes. it is like one of the best things in the world....

[miniaturemoonheart]

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Entertaining & Parties Game Day Food Ideas

85 Super Bowl Appetizers The Whole Team Will Love

Everyone can unite over winning apps!

by CAMILLE LOWDER

UPDATED: JAN 18, 2023

buffalo chicken blooming quesadilla ringPHOTO: RACHEL VANNI; FOOD STYLING: BROOKE CAISON

One of our favorite parts about the Super Bowl (Feb. 12, 2023) is how it can bring people together, united over one common goal—watching Rihanna in the halftime show. 😉 We jest, obviously we’re talking about the food! Whether you’re in it for the sports, the wild commercials, the Puppy Bowl, or the halftime show, everyone can unite over some winning apps for Super Bowl LVII. We have all the classics, like next-level wings, dips, and sliders, plus some show-stoppers like pull-apart breads and football-themed desserts.

There’s really something for everyone, from last-minute party throwers to hosts with the most. Short on time? Throw some chips or crackers in a bowl, serve next to an epic dip like our Nashville hot chicken dip or our football field dip, and call it a day. Looking for something a little easier? Homemade guacamole is always a hit, and nacho cheese is a classic for a reason. Looking to impress? Our sloppy Joe cups, our cheeseburger tot sliders, and our shrimp tostada bites are the perfect intersection between classy and game day. Want to really wow your crowd? Put our pull-apart spinach-artichoke football, our blooming quesadilla ring, or our football field dip in the middle of your app table and watch people lose their minds.

Sometimes all it takes for an incredible party spread is to change up the flavors of old standbys. We love Buffalo wing sauce as much as the next person, but were happily blown away by the flavor of our Taiwanese popcorn chicken, our honey-garlic cauliflower, and our ranch wings too. We almost couldn’t believe it, but grape jelly does truly elevate meatballs. And turns out, you can put anything in an egg roll—like Reuben sandwich-, meatball sub-, or cheesesteak-inspired fillings—for the perfect party appetizer.

No matter who you’re cheering for this Super Bowl, these apps will start the day off right—and keep everyone happy right up to the last play. For more game day inspiration, check out our favorite Super Bowl snacks, our top game day desserts, and our best-ever Super Bowl drinks too.

philly cheesesteak slidersPHOTO: KATE JORDAN; FOOD STYLING: MAKINZE GORE

1 of 85

Philly Cheesesteak Sliders

These sliders are like your favorite iconic Philly cheesesteak, made miniature so you can share (or eat more than one!).

Get the Philly Cheesesteak Sliders recipe.

buffalo wingsPARKER FEIERBACH

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Classic Buffalo Wings

To save time (and avoid missing the game!), skip the fried wings this year and make these baked Buffalo wings instead. They're so much easier while still giving you a deliciously crispy, saucy, and caramelized result.

Get the Classic Buffalo Wings recipe.

pullapart spinachartichoke footballPHOTO: KATE JORDAN; FOOD STYLING: MAKINZE GORE

3 of 85

Pull-Apart Spinach-Artichoke Football

Who wouldn't want a cheesy spinach-artichoke dip encased in pizza dough that's also shaped like a football?!?

Get the Pull-Apart Spinach-Artichoke Football recipe.

loaded nachos with pepperoncini, bacon and cheesePHOTO: LUCY SCHAEFFER; FOOD STYLING: MAKINZE GORE

4 of 85

Loaded Fries

You could just have normal, plain old fries. You could even have double-fried fries. But in our minds, when you really want to make yourself some fried spuds that are extra special, you have to make these loaded fries.

Get the Loaded Fries recipe.

football field decorated layered dip with refried beans, sour cream, pico de gallo, guacamole, and quesoPHOTO: ERIK BERNSTEIN; FOOD STYLING: BROOKE CAISON

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Football Field Dip

Hut, hut, DIP! The Super Bowl is upon us, and this dip is the fuel you need to cheer on your favorite team. Dipping into this edible football field will reveal layers of all of your favorite (store-bought!) dips, spreads, and sauces packed into one adorable dish.

Get the Football Field Dip recipe.

sloppy joe cupsPHOTO: RACHEL VANNI; FOOD STYLING: BROOKE CAISON

6 of 85

Sloppy Joe Cups

Store-bought crescent dough is stuffed with our sloppy Joe recipe before being covered in gooey cheese—what more could you want? They only take a little over half an hour to come together, meaning they're the perfect comfort food for sharing at your game day celebration.

Get the Sloppy Joe Cups recipe.

sheet pan green chile chicken nachosANDREW BUI

7 of 85

Sheet-Pan Green Chile Chicken Nachos

What’s better than a tray of cheesy chicken nachos? Four cheese chicken nachos! Don’t worry, though, a couple cans of chopped green chiles cut the richness of all that cheese. (Not that we’re complaining.) We’ll leave the toppings up to you, but we suggest The Works, aka red onion, radishes, avocado, jalapeño, cilantro, and hot sauce.

Get the Sheet-Pan Green Chile Chicken Nachos recipe.

rotel dip with tortilla chipsPHOTO: RACHEL VANNI; FOOD STYLING: FRANCESCA ZANI

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Rotel Dip

You only need 4 ingredients to make this cheesy dip—ground beef, Rotel tomatoes (with the chopped green chiles), Velveeta, and chili powder. It comes together all in one pot too, meaning less dishes!

Get the Rotel Dip recipe.

meatball sub egg rolls with marinara saucePHOTO: KATE JORDAN; FOOD STYLING: BROOKE CAISON

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Meatball Sub Egg Rolls

These fun little hybrids are exactly what they sound like—all of the fillings you'd find in a meatball sub loaded into an egg roll wrapper and deep-fried until golden brown, delicious, and perfect for folks who don't want their hands covered in hot marinara sauce.

Get the Meatball Sub Egg Rolls recipe.

closeup of cheesesteak potato skins in a white dishBRYCE JOHNSON

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Cheesesteak Potato Skins

There isn't a more perfect party appetizer than potato skins and ones stuffed with Philly cheesesteak ingredients are even better. Watch out, your Super Bowl guests might fight over these more than the game!

Get the Cheesesteak Potato Skins recipe.

nashville hot chicken dipPHOTO: ANDREW BUI; FOOD STYLING: BARRETT WASHBURNE

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Nashville Hot Chicken Dip

Need a flavor-packed dip to really amp up your Super Bowl party? This Nashville hot chicken-inspired dip brings the heat and MORE. Beware—this is for major spice fans only.

Get the Nashville Hot Chicken Dip recipe.

buffalo chicken meatballsPHOTO: ANDREW BUI; FOOD STYLING: SPENCER RICHARDS

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Buffalo Chicken Meatballs

Craving something a little more creative than your average Buffalo wings? Enter: Buffalo chicken meatballs. Ready in just 30 minutes, these meatballs are a flavor-packed app you can have ready in no time, so you don't have to miss any of the big game.

Get the Buffalo Chicken Meatballs recipe.

pull apart mini cheeseburgersPARKER FEIERBACH

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Pull-Apart Cheeseburger Sliders

Everyone loves little mini cheeseburgers, but have you ever made them? Flipping a dozen (or more) little patties is maddening. Enter: our brilliant little hack. Instead of forming each individual slider, we go pull-apart style, using a loose cooked ground beef mixture that's seasoned like a good, juicy burger.

Get the Pull-Apart Cheeseburger Sliders recipe.

skillet chili meatballsERIK BERNSTEIN

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Skillet Chili & Meatballs

This recipe combines the best of a game-day snack and the components of spicy chili into a single dish. Rather than crumbling the ground meat as in the classic dish, you'll form those same elements into perfect meatballs.

Get the Skillet Chili & Meatballs recipe.

football browniesPARKER FEIERBACH

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Football Brownies

These brownies are all about the boozy ganache, so we kept things simple and started with a boxed mix.

Get the Football Brownies recipe.

buffalo chicken blooming quesadilla ringPHOTO: RACHEL VANNI; FOOD STYLING: BROOKE CAISON

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Buffalo chicken is one of our fave flavor combos ever, and this creamy, spicy technique is one of our favorite ways to serve it. It's the best, most impressive way to make quesadillas for a crowd this Super Bowl Sunday.

Get the Blooming Quesadilla Ring recipe.

pigs in a blanketETHAN CALABRESE

17 of 85

Pigs In A Blanket

There's something very classic about the crescent roll dough flavor, so we tend to gravitate toward it, but puff pastry or even biscuit dough both should work here too.

Get the Pigs In A Blanket recipe.

pull apart garlic bread pizza dipPARKER FEIERBACH

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Pull-Apart Garlic Bread Pizza Dip

We wanted to make sure this pizza- and-garlic-bread-inspired dip was absolutely perfect, so we tested it over and over (and over) again until it was. Make this and it'll be gone in 10 seconds flat—we can almost guarantee it.

Get the Pull-Apart Garlic Bread Pizza Dip recipe.

quesoPARKER FEIERBACH

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Best Queso Dip

For the best queso we've ever had, we used a mix of shredded American cheese and pepper Jack. The American cheese keeps it melty and creates the perfect dip consistency, while the pepper Jack adds some sharpness with a bit of extra heat. Hot tip: Always shred your own cheese for best results!

Get the Best Queso Dip recipe.

ham cheese slidersETHAN CALABRESE

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Ham & Cheese Sliders

Classic ham and cheese is sandwiched between sweet Hawaiian rolls, all before being brushed with a homemade dressing that transforms these simple sliders into a sweet and salty dream. Make extra, these babies go fast!

Get the Ham & Cheese Sliders recipe.

meatball sub bites with marinara saucePHOTO: RACHEL VANNI; FOOD STYLING: BROOKE CAISON

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Meatball Sub Bites

The meatball sub is a hearty comfort food classic that's been long overdue for a bite-sized upgrade. Enter the meatball sub bite—a juicy herb and garlic meatball stuffed with mozzarella cheese, wrapped in crisp and chewy pizza dough, and served with spicy marinara. 😍

Get the Meatball Sub Bites recipe.

7 layer dipPARKER FEIERBACH

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Best-Ever 7-Layer Dip

This truly has everything we could ever want in a dip: refried beans, homemade guacamole, salsa, sour cream, and cheese (😍) all topped with fresh veggies for an added crunch. You'll never buy the store-bought version again after trying this homemade dip.

Get the Best-Ever 7-Layer Dip recipe.

pinwheel sandwichesPHOTO: ANDREW BUI; FOOD STYLING: MAKINZE GORE

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Pinwheel Sandwiches

These are easy to assemble, look great on a game day platter, and are ideal for a party. To make them, you'll layer flour tortillas with ranch-flavored mayonnaise, sliced cheese, deli meats, and lettuce. All that's left to do is roll them up tightly and slice. See, simple!

Get the Pinwheel Sandwiches recipe.

vegan spinach artichoke dipPHOTO: LUCY SCHAEFFER; FOOD STYLING: MAKINZE GORE

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Vegan Spinach Artichoke Dip

A creamy, cheesy spinach artichoke dip that’s completely vegan? Not possible! Oh, but it is. Vegan alternatives to cheeses and mayonnaise are thankfully much more common in most grocery stores, making one of our favorite dips and appetizers more enjoyable for everyone.

Get the Vegan Spinach Artichoke Dip recipe.

hot crab dipEMILY HLAVAC GREEN

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Hot Crab Dip

This hot crab dip is packed with melty cheese and tender, sweet crab meat that serves as the perfect opener to any game day or meal. Serve it with plenty of toasted bread or buttery crackers! Or you can do what we do and shamelessly go at it with a spoon. 😉

Get the Hot Crab Dip recipe.

reuben egg rollsETHAN CALABRESE

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Reuben Egg Rolls

Frying egg rolls can sound intimidating, but it’s definitely worth it here. (Trust us, we've tested them in the oven, and the results are way messier and sadly soggy.) Once you've got it down, try our Big Mac egg rolls next!

Get the Reuben Egg Rolls recipe.

garlic parm wingsETHAN CALABRESE

27 of 85

Garlic-Parmesan Wings

For these easy wings, we made a simple melted butter, garlic, parsley, and Parm mixture that you combine while your wings are baking. Once the wings are done cooking, toss them in a large bowl with the sauce and serve. Easy peasy!

Get the Garlic-Parmesan Wings recipe.

sour cream onion dipANDREW BUI

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Sour Cream & Onion Dip

Letting the onions caramelize properly is key to the flavor of this dip. Going low and slow allows them to develop color while breaking down and becoming sweet and jammy. Stir them into this easy dip with some chives, and you have a simple appetizer that's crazy delicious. It will stay good in the fridge for a few days, so it's great to make ahead of time too!

Get the Sour Cream & Onion Dip recipe.

nachos supremePARKER FEIERBACH

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Nachos Supreme

In 1943, some wives of U.S. soldiers stationed at Fort Duncan in Eagle Pass, Texas, were on a shopping trip in the bordering city of Piedras Negras, Mexico. They stopped at a just-closed restaurant. Not wanting to disappoint his customers, the maître d’, Ignacio "El Nacho" Anaya, was determined to whip something up for them. He made do with what was left in the kitchen—tortillas, cheese, and pickled jalapeños—and served what would go on to be called "Nacho's especiales." TMYK!

Get the Nachos Supreme recipe.

nacho cheesePARKER FEIERBACH

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Nacho Cheese

There is something so enticing about nacho cheese from concession stands: silky smooth, pleasantly tacky, clings to every chip, fry, and bite. Now you can make it at home anytime the craving hits.

Get the Best Nacho Cheese Dip recipe.

CAMILLE LOWDER Digital Food Producer

Camille Lowder is the digital food producer at Delish, otherwise known as our resident queen of recipe galleries.

This commenting section is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page. You may be able to find more information on their web site.

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[unhingedwomandiaries]

I roasted some garlic the other day. I know, not very usual of me, right? I was completely blindsided by how easy the whole process was. I'm not really a garlic girl, probably because I've never taken the simplistic plunge of roasting the stuff myself. Garlic bread is fine, and I can tolerate garlic in pasta sauce without my palate self-immolating, but that's about it. I'm no "garlic girl," despite what vapid social media influences might have you believe.

My inspiration came from a YouTube short about homemade garlic bread that I somehow stumbled across. We never did anything like that growing up - too much effort when you can just buy frozen Texas toast covered in hydrogenated polymer plastics and other anti-nutritional fractions. But I decided, what the hell, I'll give it a whirl.

The real reason was that I couldn't just eat a bunch of cheesy garlic bread in one sitting. That's a one-way ticket to OrangeTheory. So I figured I'd make a fresh lasagna to go with it. My husband loves lasagna. Me, not so much. It's firmly seated outside my psychological comfort zone of foods I grew up eating. There was this mildly depressing YouTube video about people's theoretical last meals, and some guy picked endless lasagna layers. Which is just...weird, right? Who would voluntarily choose lasagna as their iatric swan song?

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The pasta recipe itself came about through a pretty bizarre chain of events, as these things often do. I was interviewing for this job out of state after my relationship with x ended in spectacularly unambiguous fashion. And you'll never believe who was conducting the interview - it was this scruffy, kinda cool YouTuber I used to watch sometimes. You know, the blonde guy with the tabby cat and those weird friends always popping in?

We locked eyes and I could instantly tell he knew I recognized him from his internet presence. He got this little smirk as we shook hands. Not that I'm calling myself a celebrity or anything, but I could read the situation - he thought he'd stumbled into interviewing someone at least moderately normal. The interview itself was perfectly fine in a professional sense, but the whole time he kept giving me these little side glances. Like the look my husband gets when he's undressing me with his eyes and I have to be like, "What, mate? What's going on over there?"

Anyway, I didn't get the job - shocker, I know. Apparently Captain YouTube thought I was too attractive and objectively overqualified for the gig, which was just corporate garbage anyway. He did, however, slyly slip me his number on the side of a Dr. Pepper cup. Smooth operator, that guy.

We ended up becoming friends after that. Turned out his grandma and my grandma were both in the same knitting circle back in the day, or something weird like that. Cut to a few months later, and he's calling me up in literal tears. His girlfriend from across the pond had cheated on him again with some rando from New Jersey who was studying abroad in London.

So I go over to his place and he's like, "Billie, have you ever made fresh pasta before?" And I'm like, "Mate, you know my parents - we were strictly a no pasta household growing up. Only had Kraft boxed shit at friends houses when moms were feeling bougie." He tells me he learned the art himself in Florence, after taking a cooking class with the same girlfriend who repeatedly Edwardo'd all over him.

Then he walks me through the entire process: Make a little volcano-shaped pit in a mound of flour, crack six egg yolks into the crater, and mix it up until it becomes this pliable, malleable dough mass. From there you just roll it out and cut it into your desired shape, whether that's lasagna noodles or God's choice carb, rigatoni. The egg whites can get saved for healthier purposes or composted into the earth's lukewarm antibody.

I don't talk about this guy much, but he was a good guy. I'll never forget the time I was crashing at my aunt's place in Germany - this rambunctious, seen-some-shit woman who survived the Hellfire of the Holocaust - and she just started wailing bloody murder from the next room over. Turns out she'd gotten a call that my friend had been murdered. Gunned down at some random gas station in the continental U.S. while coming back from studying abroad. Just...mindless, evil violence on an otherwise uneventful Tuesday night. Wrong place, wrong time, and all that. Apparently some rando just walked up and shot him point-blank for no good reason. He never made it off the pavement.

There were two suspects, police sleuths ID'd pretty quick. Just some criminal fuckwads who somehow crossed paths with my innocent pal at his most vulnerable moment. Last I heard, one got thirty years for...I don't know, loitering adjacently? The trigger-man is serving a life sentence on the taxpayer's meter. The poor guy never saw it coming. After that, it was like his whole family line got King Lear'ed by the karmic powers that be. Mom died of lung cancer. Dad ate it in a skiing accident, of all the quirky river dancing ways to go. The younger brother is just kind of drifting, rudderless. We don't really talk anymore. Shame, too - he was a good person.

So, lasagna. I tried making it from scratch using my friend's pasta blueprint. Did the whole flowery, yolky ritual and layered it up with the usual accoutrements. From what I could gather, Brits and Americans can't even agree on lasagna anymore. Both versions suck, but you already know I've got the US's gelatinous, over-seasoned back.

I must've started cooking around one o'clock and didn't have that sucker ready until almost four. Spending an entire afternoon laboring over a single dish, only to have it turn out underwhelming, maybe even downright disappointing...it's enough to make you wonder why we bother with any of this. Like, what's the point of struggling to recreate some romanticized version of the past when the final product is just going to leave you disillusioned? Why chase these ceremonial shadows of nostalgia, these intricate lies we tell ourselves about how great everything used to be?

Anyway, there was this other guy I went on a date with once - pretty sure it was a second-hand date, now that I'm thinking about it. We did that silly thing where you go thrifting and pick out ridiculous outfits for each other to wear on the "night out" portion. He bought me some R.E.M. record and I got him another camera, because us analog hustlers need abundant cameras like Studebakers need whitewall tires. 

At dinner, this man mentioned his grandma used to make these unbelievably cheesy stuffed shells. So, collegiate eagerness clouding my judgment, I was like, "No sweat, bro! I've got a whole Italian pastry chef situation going on with this fresh pasta thing." Invited him over for a follow-up "Nonna's shells" dinner. He seemed into it...until he just randomly ghosted a couple days before. Ice cold, too - no explanation, no rain check for a future date. Just gone like that.

There I was, crateloads of fresh pasta sitting in the freezer and $20 down the drain for some ludicrously overpriced rennet. Pretty depraved behavior from Mister Mama's Boy, if you ask me. Two weeks went by before my own mom was like, "Yeah, this is stupid - just bring the damn shells over and we'll eat them ourselves."

So that's what I did. And you'll never believe it - my anti-pasta mother, she who would visibly retch at the very suggestion of lasagna, literally turned human and declared my fresh stuff "actually really good and soft." Probably the highest compliment she's ever paid anything remotely carb-based.

Who knows, though? Who really knows why any of this matters? Why do I go through such manic, irrational lengths for the simple pleasures? Burdening myself with these over involved culinary theater productions, only to be let down when everything's said and done? Too many competing storylines vying for attention in this freak show mental canvas of mine. Reality crumbles around the edges while I'm re-enacting some fever-dreamed domestic haute fantasy.

I don't have any answers. Your guess is as good as mine. The world's inevitably going to keep devolving into a sludge-filled basket-case, and so too will our lasagna aspirations.

[survey--s]

626.

How long is it since you moved out of the house you grew up in? I grew up in two houses. We moved when I was 11 and then I moved out of the second house when I met Chris - I think I was 23? My parents were in the process of selling anyway.

What color shirt are you wearing? Black and white.

The last time you ate leftovers, what was it that you were eating? I think it was leftover takeaway a couple of weeks ago. Chicken nuggets, I believe, and cheesy garlic bread lol.

What was the last flavor of ice cream you ate? Mint chocolate chip.

Do you regret anything you've done in the last 24 hours? Nah.

What is your favorite type of soup? It depends on my mood. I like chicken noodle or potato and bacon. Italian tomato and bean soup is good too.

When was the last time you saw a beautiful sunset? Yesterday on my way home from work.

What is your favorite song at the moment? Survivor by Reba McEntire or If He Wanted to He Would by Kylie Mason.

What are 5-10 things you love about being you? I love animals, I'm happy in my own company, I run my own business, I'm happy in my own skin and I think overall I'm a decent person.

What is your favorite board that you've made on Pinterest? I don't use Pinterest.

Do you get on Facebook or Instagram more? I only use Instagram to upload stories to my business page and to message a couple of customers, so probably Facebook.

What color is your favorite sweater? I have three favourites - they're grey, black and purple.

What are three things people would never guess about you just by looking at the photos you post on social media? I have autism. I have sciatica. I went to private school.

What is one thing you have too much of? According to Mike, cats and wax melts lol.

What was the last thing you ate or drank that was blue raspberry-flavored? Sweets.

What are three of your favorite scents? Vanilla, coffee, freshly baked bread.

What was the last flavor of tea you drank? Yorkshire Tea.

When was the last time you wore your hair in a fishtail braid? I don't think I ever have. I can't do those kinds of styles on myself.

What is one annoying thing your computer does? It's a bit slow on Tumblr for some reason, like my typing doesn't always show up right away, but it was so cheap I can't really complain.

What type of fruit do you eat the most? It depends on my mood, but lately it's been melon, mango and pineapple.

How often do you go out to eat? Maybe once a month on average. We used to go a lot more but prices have shot up recently and it's just not affordable anymore.

What would your dream wedding dress look like? Mine was just a short white dress that came just above the knee.

Which fall flavor do you prefer: pumpkin spice or apple cinnamon? Apple cinnamon, but I like both.

What is the most annoying thing about your life right now? I have a week of 6am starts thanks to a load of cat visits I have booked in. Normally I don't mind it too much, but it's a really busy week so I can tell I'm gonna be shattered.

Which holiday treat do you like better: candy corn or conversation hearts? Conversation hearts. Saying that, I've never had candy corn.

What is your favorite apple-flavored treat? Apple Crumble.

What are you counting down the days to right now, if anything? Uh, nothing really. The next "big thing" is my weekend away in Manchester but that's not for another few months.

What was the last book you read about? I can't remember.

Have you been daydreaming a lot lately about a scenario you wish would happen? No, not really.

What are three of your favorite things about camping? Staying at home, hahah. Camping is not my thing.

If you could choose what month to be born in, what month would you have chosen as your birth month, and why? A summer month. Maybe June.

...and what is your actual birth month? December.

What are three of your favorite things to do on a rainy day? Watch my favourite movies, snack, take naps.

Would you rather eat strawberries or watermelon? Watermelon. I do like strawberries but lately they've been a bit rubbish in terms of quality.

Do you prefer smoothies or milkshakes? I like both fairly equally.

Do you prefer hamburgers or hot dogs? Hamburgers.

When was the last time you felt nauseous? Yesterday morning.

What was the last thing you ate that made you feel nauseous? I have no idea.

Do you enjoy going to your local county fair? Yeah, as long as the weather is decent.

How far away do you live from the place where you were born? It's about a seven hour drive.

Do you prefer zebra print or cheetah print? Neither. I'm not a fan of animal print unless it's on animals.

[lady-rose-moon]

On The Wet Marshes

Summary: when Tom is away filming the Essex Serpent, you get lonely. Next day, you head down to visit.

A/N; this is one of my first few smuts so lmk how I do!

It was three weeks since you had seen Tom and you sighed, rolling around on your bed and staring up at the ceiling as boredom crept into your mind. You had done all the things possible in the house.

You had walked Bobby before breakfast, after lunch and now, you were bored after ordering a pizza for your final meal of the day. The weather was normal for England, dreary and threatening rain. You sat up in bed and groaned with boredom as you looked around the room, Tom was probably having so much fun while filming and you were stuck at home.

Grumbling to yourself, you emerged from the sheets and headed into the bathroom. All of Tom's bite marks and handprints had disappeared from your body and you frowned as you pressed down on one of the last ones in a last-ditch effort to try and keep it on your body as a gift.

Tom wouldn't be home for another two weeks and you were growing bored of being on your own. Quarantine with him had made you clingy and you grumbled when he announced that he was off shooting for The Essex Serpent and also Loki. You found it quite funny that Tom was both playing a lusty vicar but also a God too. Loki had the magic and the seduction while Will, in your opinion, had the charms and the emotion. They matched each other.

You turned on the shower and stepped inside, pulling your hair down from its ponytail to fully wash your hair and your body. The water splashing over your head was relaxing as you leaned against a wall and considered just packing a weekend bag and heading down to Essex. Tom's interactions with Clare Danes and the rest of the team were always something that made you smile, him sending you sneaky videos from when he was moving between sets.

After stepping out of the shower and pulling on one of Tom's blue sweaters and your own black jogger bottoms, you sighed and trudged downstairs while towel drying your hair. The bell rang to indicate that your pizza had arrived and you smiled as you walked to the door, Bobby barking like crazy as he followed close behind you.

You laughed and shook your head as you unlocked the door and held Bobby back by your leg barricading the door. You smiled at the pizza guy and handed him £15 for the pizza and the chips with the cheesy garlic bread and you kicked the door closed when he walked away and Bobby had lost interest. Bobby still lingered beside you and followed you into the living room, jumping up onto the sofa when you slouched down. Whining, Bobby tried to snatch a piece of pizza only to be met with you booping his nose and shaking your head.

As you munched down on your pizza, you decided to put Ragnarok on the TV and you smiled as you watched your fiancé act on TV. His depiction of the Norse God of Mischief was perfect and your heart raced every time you saw what was happening on the screen that involved Loki.

Halfway through the movie, after your pizza was long since eaten and your belly was full, your phone rang and you smiled when you saw that it was Tom's ID on the screen. You quickly picked up and smiled when you heard his voice on the other end of the line.

"Hello, darling," he greeted you, his voice dark and tired and you giggled as you realised that he must have been doing multiple takes.

"Hey," you whispered gently as you heard his voice and giggled when you heard how tired he sounded, "long day?"

He laughed and shook his head as he walked over to his window in the inn he was staying in and sighed deeply, "the longest, beloved, I just wish that I could be home with you."

You bit your lip as you got up and took Bobby to the garden so that he could relieve himself and you sighed softly as the dog walked around on the grass, "there's always this weekend?"

Tom smiled and opened his schedule to look at if it was a possibility before sighing in defeat and shaking his head, "I can't come home this weekend, baby, I'm due to film another few scenes. We'll call every night, I promise!"

You nodded and sighed as you leaned against the doorframe of the sliding glass doors, "I wonder how it would feel for me to be with you. On those marshes with my wellies while you film to your heart's content."

You heard Tom walking back to his bed and the springs creaking as he laid down, "well," he breathed heavily as he stared up at the ceiling, "it would make for good company at night?"

The shallowness of his breath had you giggling and you bit your lip as you swayed yourself slightly, "what did you have to film today, Tom?" you asked in a teasing tone and heard Tom curse under his breath at being found out.

"Judging by the tone of your voice and my reaction, darling, I think you already know," Tom pouted and you grinned as you whistled Bobby to come back in. You locked the back door and Bobby sprinted back to the living room, you lingering behind the door with a smirk on your face.

You bit your lip as you walked upstairs to your bedroom, shutting the door behind you so that Bobby couldn't get in. Sitting on your bed, you allowed yourself to fully give your attention to Tom, "are you horny, Tom? Did that sex scene remind you of whose body is completely yours?"

Tom moaned at the sultry tone you adopted and he shifted himself so that he was comfier in the bed, "I imagined you all the way through. Like last time. Oh, darling, you must feel so neglected without me being there with you to fuck you."

You hummed and smirked as you sprawled out on the bed, listening to Tom's breathing, "touch yourself, Tom. Get all beautifully naked and touch that hard cock for me."

Tom eagerly placed the phone down on the bed and got rid of his clothes, his skin shivering in the cold air of the coast but it only added to his excitement. Once fully naked, he placed the phone on his chest and bit his lip as he reached down to gently caress his cock like you would do, "shit, baby."

You smirked at his moan and sighed softly as you pulled off your tracksuit bottoms and traced a finger down your slick, gasping in pleasure at how wet you already were for him, "start off rubbing slow, Tom," you whispered as you slipped a finger into your core and bit out a moan, "just follow my lead and I will make you feel so good. I promise."

Tom followed your instructions and gasped in pleasure after not being able to have this time alone with himself for a while, "baby, I miss you," he whimpered and you giggled at the desperation in his voice.

"I know, dear," you mumbled as you started to move your finger in a rhythm, "set yourself a rhythm, honey, it'll feel so so good," you moaned as you added a finger and arched your back slightly.

Tom started to rub himself in a similar rhythm to how he normally fucks you and he moans deeply at the stimulation, "baby, are you touching yourself too?" he asked desperately and you giggled before moaning out an affirmative and it only drove him to fuck his fist faster.

While your fingers were moving inside you, you put the phone on the pillow beside your head before reaching your other hand down to rub your clit gently and slowly, "do you miss my body, Tom? My tight cunt wrapped around your cock? Me on my knees before you to suck you until you're ready? My loud moans to show the world that I am yours?"

Tom moaned at the thoughts that quickly flooded his mind of taking you in various positions and he gritted his teeth as he rubbed his cock faster, the coil forming in his gut as he managed to hiss out, "shit, baby, talk like that more and it'll make me cum!"

"I want you, Thomas," you moaned loudly, your own release creeping up on you as you heard the distant lewd noises of him rubbing his cock, "I want your cock buried so deep inside my pussy that I'm forever tainted! I want you to fuck me so hard that all I can say is your name!"

With a few more furious pumps to his cock, the electricity coursed through Tom's body and he came with a deep moan and his back arched off the bed as thick ropes of cum splattered over his stomach. Distantly, he heard you screaming in bliss as you reached your own climax.

After a few moments, you gathered yourself again and turned to look at your phone, "Tom?"

He took a few deep breaths, the lingering shocks of his orgasm now leaving him and he sighed heavily before smiling, "thank you, darling, I needed that."

You giggled and yawned softly, sliding off your bed and grabbing your jogger bottoms before trudging downstairs, Tom still on the phone in your hand. Getting back to the living room, you switched off the TV and held the phone in front of Bobby, "Bobby say goodnight to daddy!"

Bobby growled and barked gently to the phone and Tom laughed and said goodnight before you walked back upstairs to your bedroom, the smell of sex already dissipating thanks to the air fresheners and Bobby jumped up onto Tom's side of the bed and you got in bed beside the dog after turning off the lights, "Tom?"

"Yes, dear?" Tom asked, sitting up and pulling on some pyjamas and you sighed softly as you listened to his casual breaths and you smiled slightly.

"Would you read to us?" you asked as you snuggled into the pillows.

On the other end, Tom finished getting changed and then headed to his suitcase, grabbing your favourite book and pulling out the bookmark to get to the page he had left it on last night. Once he was comfy in bed, he started to read to you and not only fifteen minutes later, you were fast asleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you saw that Bobby had moved from the top of the bed to the bottom while still remaining on Tom's side and you heard the gentle snores of your fiancé. So he had stayed on the line with you all night. The thought of him doing so lit a fire in your stomach and you just knew that you had to make the journey.

Careful not to rouse Tom, you blew a kiss into the phone before hanging up and slipping out of the bed to walk down into the kitchen. After grabbing a bowl of cereal, you opened your laptop and looked at prices to get down to Maldon in Essex where you knew that Tom was filming currently. When you saw the prices of the train tickets, you paid for the 11am train which gave you three hours to pack and showered.

You called Emma and made sure that she could get to Tom's house by the time you were set to leave and you thanked her profusely for agreeing to look after Bobby while you were down in Essex.

After booking the taxi to get to the Underground, you walked upstairs and headed to the walk-in-wardrobe to start packing. You made sure you packed warm clothes, lingerie, feminine products and a few books alongside your wellies. You knew that Essex was very cold so you didn't want to take any chances of getting sick.

When you were done with packing, you headed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. When you stepped inside, you sighed at the warm water and stood underneath it for as long as possible before going through your usual routine. When you were done with your shower, you stepped out and proceeded to dry, straighten and curl your hair then dress in the warm outfit that you had chosen for the day.

By the time you were done, your taxi had rung to say that they were outside and so, you grabbed your suitcase and kissed Bobby's head while whispering a goodbye before heading out the door. When you got into the taxi, you told them to take you to the Underground and so, your journey began.

Grabbing your train was easier than expected, normally when you got the train it'd be hectic because of rush hours but it was much calmer at this time of day; even if still overcrowded. The train ride was around one or two hours so you didn't mind. Grabbing a seat, you looked out the window at the passing scenery and sighed in bliss as you imagined seeing Tom's face again.

When you finally got to Maldon, you hailed a taxi and gave them the name of the inn that Tom was staying in and they drove you there. Walking into the inn, you checked in and smiled at the landlady, asking for a room for the next two days and gratefully paying when she agreed.

Walking up to your room, you opened the door and smiled at how quaint it looked before settling your suitcase in the wardrobe and leaving the room, locking the door behind you. As you walked down the dirt roads, you saw some people dressed like a member of the camera crew heading down to the shores so you followed them.

Unfortunately, you were stopped by security when you got to the destination. Irritated, you looked up at the guard, "why can't I go over? I'm Tom Hiddleston's girlfriend."

"We've had a lot of people sayin' that, lady," the security bit out and you huffed before opening your phone and showing him a photo of you and Tom smiling and hugging back in 2019. Seeing the evidence, the security sighed and motioned for you to follow him down to where the crew were filming.

He left you there and you walked around the crew to find an empty spot that would be just out of shot. You saw that it was Tom and Clare filming on the marshes today and you smiled as you saw how easily they fit together through their characters. Tightening the coat around you as the wind blowed, you smiled as you watched their chemistry.

Once 'cut' was called, Tom checked to see if Clare was alright before wrapping an arm around her shoulder and walking over to the crowd of people who were hovering to give them a drink and something warm to eat. In the corner of his eye, he saw a coat that looked out of place for someone on the crew. A dark blue and the wellies were the same shade of blue, the hair was curled to perfection and Tom's heart leaped when he deduced that it must be you. Grabbing his panini, he made his way to the figure and grinned when he saw you.

"Darling," he breathed, running the rest of the way to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you close to him with a bright grin on his face, "oh, you decided to visit!"

You giggled and pulled yourself away from his grip to cup his face with both of your hands and you eagerly looked up into his eyes, "you're so handsome. I missed you, Tom. We deserved to see each other, you know?"

He nodded and laughed as he kissed you softly, enjoying how you kept holding his face as he devoured your mouth. When he pulled away, he knew you were breathless. Then he remembered the panini in his hand and he broke it in half before handing one half to her with a gentle smile, "eat, it's still warm."

You followed his instruction and bit into the panini before smiling at him, "thank you, Tom," you grinned through mouthfuls and Tom teasingly scoffed at your lack of manners.

"Tom?" came a voice from just in front of them and Tom turned to see Clare standing there with a smile on her face, "is this your lovely lady, Tom? She does look the part. Hello, dear, I'm Clare Danes."

You stared at Clare in shock before regaining composure and shaking her hand and telling her your name, "it's lovely to meet you, Clare, your movies are always phenomenal!"

Clare turned to smirk at Tom, "a woman of taste," she remarked and Tom breathed out a laugh.

After talking with Clare for a good ten minutes, Tom held your hand and smiled kindly at Clare, "do excuse us, I'm heading back to my room to get ready for our next take. See you later?"

Clare let the both of you go easily. On the way back, you and Tom walked hand in hand and you smiled brightly as you looked out to sea, "it's beautiful here. You're so lucky to film in all of these beautiful places, Tom!"

Tom laughed and squeezed your hand gently, "it's incredibly beautiful in the sunset. I shall show you that later."

When you got back to Tom's room in the inn, he wasted no time in locking the door and pushing his suitcase in front of the door just in case. When he knew you were safe in the room, he stalked towards you and pulled your face to him before crashing his lips against yours. Moaning at the contact after so long, you responded to the kiss by pressing yourself against him, feeling his erection growing between his legs.

You hummed as you rolled your hips against him and he growled into the kiss, pushing you against a wall and hiking your leg up to his waist and wrapping it around his waist before he pulled away from you to pay attention to your neck. Hearing your moans of bliss after so long spurred him on and he bit into your neck and suckled every free bit of skin. He wasn't happy that his marks had disappeared but he knew that the body healed. He wouldn't let you go a day without new marks.

Pulling your comfy joggers down your hips and legs with your lacy panties, Tom dropped to his knees and started to devour you. Your leg was now hiked onto his shoulder as his tongue lapped up your slick and you moaned in bliss at the blinding pleasure. Suckling on your clit, Tom brought fingers up and inserted two fingers into your dripping cunt and smirked when you moaned loudly in relief. Tom carried on the blissful oral for a good few minutes before increasing the speed of his fingers pumping inside you, his suckling of your clit getting more urgent as he felt your walls clench around his fingers.

Watching you snap was always so beautiful to him. Your body convulsed with pleasure and your moans made his cock twitch with desperation.

Breathing heavily, you allowed Tom to guide you over to the bed and fell onto it with a deep sigh. You felt the springs underneath you protest with the bounce but you could hardly care when Tom pinned you to the bed and started to kiss you deeply. The kiss was one to display dominance and since you were already fucked out, you couldn't fight.

Tom quickly knelt on the bed and took off his shirt along with his trousers and boxers. His cock sprung up once his boxers were removed and Tom leaned over you to kiss you softly as he slid inside you and he moaned into the soft kiss. Tom waited for a few moments before starting his movements, slowly at first but gaining speed.

You moaned in bliss as Tom made love to you, his rhythm gentle and caring. His cock sliding in and out of you made you crazy and you reached your arms up to claw down his back. Tom hissed from the pain and increased the pain as a punishment before moaning when he realised that he had just ignited another need and he sat on his knees on the bed and started to pound into your needy cunt with all the force that he could.

"T-Tom!" you screamed, your nails digging into the sheets beside your head as your breasts bounced and your eyes rolled. You loved when he was rough with your body and you moaned loudly when he leaned over your body to suckle on a nipple.

Tom lifted up your hips to gain another angle and you both moaned at the new feeling, Tom calculating his thrusts to bring you the best pleasure that you could imagine. He watched as your eyebrows scrunched, your face contorted in absolute pleasure as you started to feel the coil in your abdomen.

Tom's hand fell to your clit and he started to rub it in quick flicks, his thrusts starting to become sloppy from his own impending orgasm but he wanted to cum with you.

"Cum with me, baby," Tom growled and you met his eyes, nodding and screaming as Tom continued to rub your clit and fuck you.

That familiar coil in your gut snapped and your back arched off the bed as you screamed with pleasure, your arms wrapping around his neck and pressing your head into his neck. Tom's thrusts faltered and he groaned as he spilled inside you, holding you close so you didn't lose anything and he sighed when he knew he was done.

After cleaning yourselves up and coming back to yourselves, you burst out laughing and hid your face in your pillow. Curious, Tom turned to you and tilted his head, "what?"

"The poor neighbours," you whispered and giggled dumbly as Tom grinned at you, "they had a good bit of entertainment."

Tom rolled his eyes and kissed you softly, rolling on top of you again as he smirked, "what's another round to them, then?"

[jolivira]

First Kill headcanons

in no particular order, because Im bored and the show’s lore needs more love and attention put into it

vamps

a legacy vampire bite has a similar way of working to a mosquito. they have a small gland that produces a protein based venom which they can use in very small quantities when biting their victims. it causes the bite to be painless, to disappear and itch. if too much of this venom is used, the victim is turned into a vamp

the cerimony after a vampire’s first kill is not only symbolical, but the bite and venom from the malkia enhances abilities like speed and strength, as well as potential special powers a vampire may have (like elinor’s mind control)

growing up, juliette always tried to be on elinor’s good side. despite her parents sheltering her, shed seen what elinor’s powers could do. many times she arrived in her room with her brain feeling scrambled, or slightly lightheaded, never knowing what she was forced to do or forget

juliette was 4 when her fangs popped out the first time, she raced to show her parents like a kid whos lost their first tooth

the first time she went to ben’s house, she kept insisting on playing in the backyard until bunny finally officially invited her in, allowing juliette to enter the house

with normal puberty and vampire puberty, juliette develops a habit of drinking tea. hibiscus, lavender, camomile, cinammon and apple, all with insane ammounts of sugar and milk

cal sips her black coffee with judgement in her eyes but says nothing

jack makes garlic bread the first time juliette comes over for dinner

hunters

hunters origin dates back to pre colonial africa (eastern africa to be precise) clans and communities formed to fight various monsters which slowly spread to asia, then lastly to the americas and europe

all clans have to report back and obey orders from guild central, in kampala (uganda)

the ink used to tattoo the arrows in a hunters forearm has special properties against monsters: it heals quicker than normal tattoos and doesnt disappear with laser removal

once theo becomes a vampire, the tattoo starts to look red and irritated, he has an urge to scratch it and remove it from his body

never having enough time for friends outside the guild, cal develops a love for books. from classics to cheesy romances and sci-fi, she reads all of it

juliette teases her immensely when she finds the complete twilight collection hidden under cal’s bed

she says shes team jacob

juliette can tell shes lying

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Seven Demon Lords’ Pet Human

So I’m quite fond of the idea that the lesser demons see MC as the brothers’ dumb pet human up until MC is revealed to be a five star badass who can control the brothers on a whim. But Himiko isn’t okay with being referred to as anyone’s “pet”, and after a very bad day, she’s going to let the brothers know that.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Genre: Half Crack Half Fluff

Warning: This story features my MC, who uses she/her pronouns, if that makes you uncomfortable no harm no foul, see you next time

“Just their pet human,”

“Aw, they let their cute widdle pet walk around all by herself~.”

“The brothers’ new pet looks so delicious…”

Himiko Nanami was not one for demeaning nicknames. She had told Luke over and over again that the reason people kept calling him a chihuahua was because he gave them a reaction, but she just couldn’t follow her own advice. A pet… the brothers’ pet… what complete and utter shit.

She had forged pacts with the seven lords of Hell. She had escaped death more times than she could count. On her first day at RAD, she had gouged out a demon’s eye with her headband for trying to eat her. She had walked Cerberus and survived. Himiko was no dainty little pet.

It was a tragedy that some of the demons that wandered the halls of RAD couldn’t see that. Not all the demons were irredeemable anti-human trash, some were quite sweet. But it only took one weird squishy grape to make Himiko refuse to eat the rest of the bowl. That’s how that saying goes, right?

It was supposed to be a good day, it was a Friday for Christ’s sake! But no, the world at large was conspiring to make Himiko’s forehead vein burst.

First period with Satan went normally for the most part, until the two paired up for an assignment and Himiko decided to give Satan a few pats on the head. A few snickers coming from a few rows behind her drew her attention, and right after Satan left to use the bathroom, that’s when she heard it. The first comment of the day.

“Aww, a pet petting her master, how sweet.”

When Satan returned, Himiko was holding a broken pencil.

To her credit, she didn’t dignify those idiots with a response, but their comment managed to burrow its way into her brain and settle there right when she snapped the pencil.

Second period shouldn’t have been so shitty, Himiko had friends in that class. Friends other than the brothers and the other exchange students, but no. Everything sucks in the Devildom.

Paimon had so sweetly offered to share some of his chips with her when he heard she had skipped breakfast. Himiko was in the middle of happily chowing down when some asshole decided to ruin the cute friendship moment.

“Geez Pai, I thought you’d be more responsible than that~.” A demoness a few rows ahead cooed. “Feeding other people’s pets without asking~.”

Paimon choked on the chip he was chewing on while Himiko gave the demoness a bone chilling glare.

“Sh-she’s not- I’m not-”

“How about you mind your own fucking business?”

The demoness only rolled her eyes and turned back to giggling with her friends. It was truly a shame that at least 60% of all the demon ladies in the school were incredibly mean and/or homicidal, a shame for Himiko because she’s a raging bisexual.

With her appetite lost, Himiko forfeited the rest of the chips to Paimon.

Lunch went by as normal as it could have gone. She sat with the brothers as usual and happily watched their antics. When she left the table to throw her trash away was when all hell broke loose.

“-Pet,”

“-Pet…”

“-Pet.”

“-Pet!”

All those damned whispers reached Himiko’s ears and if she had any less patience she would have pulled her hair out and screamed. When she got back to the table, she spent the rest of her lunch period in silence.

What’s worse was that her next class was with Solomon, and the only seat available was next to him. Great…

“Grouchy today, ms. Nanami?”

“Annoying today, mr. Wizard?”

Solomon let out a quiet and carefree laugh and rested his head on his hand. “Oh Himiko, you know I’m always up for being a little annoying.”

Himiko rolled her eyes and tried to pay attention to the teacher. “Whatever…”

Class went on, but Solomon didn’t let up on his quiet pestering.

“Himiiiiii, tell me what’s wrong, I won’t laugh.”

“Go to hell.”

“Poor choice of words, you’re there with me.”

“I hate you.”

“So mean, I’m just trying to help. Solomon the Wise is known for giving great advice!”

Himiko turned and looked at the immortal sorcerer next to her and saw his pitiful attempt at what looked like puppy dog eyes. She rolled her eyes again and turned back to her work.

“I thought you were known for ordering a baby to be sawed in half.”

“Hey!” Solomon huffed, crossing his arms. “The baby did not get sawed in half. The saner of the two women got to keep the baby, I was being smart.”

“Sure, sure.” Himiko couldn’t hold back a bit of a smile. To her own surprise, Himiko began to weigh the pros and cons of actually telling Solomon what was going on. Hm, on one hand, Solomon was the only other human that might possibly understand what Himiko was dealing with, on the other hand, Solomon was a known shifty bastard and could barely be counted as human at this point. In the end, human solidarity won out.

“Solomon,” Himiko began. “Have you ever gotten called a pet before? Like a demon’s pet..?”

Solomon thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Probably. I’ve been alive too long not to have been called every name under the sometimes lack of sun, but I’ve always been more widely known as someone who makes demons into his pets.”

“Mmm, sure.”

“But fret not Himiko, those closest to you know the truth. You’re no pet.”

Not exactly the heaps of comfort Himiko wanted, but at least Solomon answered truthfully and didn’t say anything that would get on her nerves-

“I don’t know why you’re so upset about that nickname though, you’d look amazing in a collar.”

For what happened to poor Solomon right after he said that, let’s just say a palm reader could read Himiko’s future off Solomon’s face.

In fourth period, Himiko had to hold herself back from bitchslapping someone else who decided it would be a good idea to test her. A quick word of advice to anyone in the Devildom who would like to survive an encounter with Himiko, never, ever, fuck with her headband.

“You fiendish demon!” Luke yapped, trying to help get Himiko’s headband back from the nasty awful no good demon who decided to pluck it off her head and hold it out of reach. “Give that back!”

“N’awwwwww, pet buddies!” The taller demon laughed and dangled the headband a little closer. “So cute! Someone get a picture for Devilgram-”

Luke slammed his foot directly into the demon’s kneecap. The demon practically shrieked and doubled over only to be met with Himiko’s knee in his gut. She daintily plucked the headband from his grasp and quickly pulled Luke out of the room.

“Are you okay?” The moment the two were far enough down the hall, Luke began to fuss over Himiko like a tiny nurse. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

“No buddy, I’m fine.” Himiko held out her hand for a high five. “Up high,”

Whack!

“Down low,”

Woosh!

“Too slow.”

“Hey!” Luke whined. “No faaaaaiiiiir!”

———————

No one wants their human to be grumpy, especially not the brothers, so when Himiko spent the rest of the time until dinner holed up in her room, they were a tad concerned.

“My human’s all saaaaaaaaad,” Mammon rested his chin on the table and whined. The rest of the brothers sans Asmo were sitting at the table awaiting dinner. “Himiko said she didn’t wanna play the Game of Life, and it’s like, the one game she’s good at…”

“Yeah, she’s been pissy all day.” Belphie added before quietly yawning. “What’d you do, Mammon?”

“Me?!” Mammon sputtered, practically scrambling out of his seat and pointing an accusatory finger at his brothers. “I didn’t do shit! What about you idiots?!”

“Well, let’s look at what we know,” Satan said, waving off Mammon. “During first period we partnered up for a project, I left to use the restroom, then when I came back she looked upset. During lunch when she left, she came back and didn’t speak the rest of the lunch period. Any theories?”

Beel raised his hand, and Satan nodded to him. “Himiko has terrible separation anxiety now, she can’t go too long without us.”

Satan gave Beel a few nods, then turned to the others. “That’s one guess. Anyone else?”

Mammon raised his hand, and Satan promptly ignored him.

“Oi! Pay attention to me!” Mammon stuck his hand in the air and waved harder. “She’s angry because she’s failin’ a class! Every time we’re not distractin’ her, she remembers!”

“I would have heard if she was failing a class.” Lucifer finally piped up from the head of the table, his face was buried in RAD’s newspaper. “You on the other hand, Mammon, are failing three of your four classes this semester.”

Mammon slid back into his seat and scratched the back of his neck. “About thaaaaaat, I need money for uh… for new books n’ pencils n’ shit. That’s why I’m failin’, you’ll lend me money, won’t ya big bro?”

Lucifer didn’t get to respond as Asmo burst into the door of the dining room with a pot of pasta that was almost half his height. “DINNER IS SERVED~!”

As everyone settled in to eat, Himiko finally made her appearance and plopped herself down in her usual seat next to Mammon and helped herself to the pasta with rosé sauce.

“It’s good! It’s good right?” Asmo peppered the group with questions about the food and how good he did. Himiko had to admit, this was damn good pasta. Smooth, creamy, cheesy, all that was missing was garlic bread. In a matter of minutes Himiko had cleared her first bowl and was going in for seconds.

“So Himiko,” Satan said as Himiko continued to shovel pasta into her face at a pace that could rival Beel. “We’ve noticed you’ve been looking a little upset today, care to satiate our curiosity?”

Himiko paused mid bite, which wasn’t doing wonders for her appearance considering she had sauce on the tip of her nose. But still, how sweet of her boys to notice, it made her cold dead little heart swell with love.

“Oh you know, just idiots at school not worth my attention.”

“What have they been saying?” Asmo asked, his voice unusually stiff.

“They’ve been calling me you guys’ pet.” Himiko grumbled. “How ridiculous is that?”

The clattering of forks and the chewing of food halted as the boys went completely silent. Himiko shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she looked around. Had what those demons said been a greater insult to the boys than she-

“Pfff- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Mammon erupted into laughter and the rest of the brothers followed suit.

“G-Geez,” Belphie snickered, feigning wiping a tear from his eye. “Humans are so sensitive.”

“Excuse me?!” Himiko gripped her fork so hard she was sure it would leave indents.

“I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, Himi,” Levi said between bouts of cackling. “But you are a teeny tiny little normie human surrounded by well… us.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?! That I should just roll over and take it!?” Himiko immediately turned and pointed at Belphie. “Don’t you dare.”

Belphie’s mouth was open to make a comment about Himiko’s poor choice of words, but the pact activated and any words died in his throat. Belphie flipped her off and Himiko returned the gesture.

“Himiko,” Beel was sweet enough to not laugh at Himiko’s predicament. “It’s not that big of a deal. Besides, people love their pets.”

As sweet as Beel thought his words were being, Himiko really wanted to send him to bed without dinner.

“Yes, yes, Beel’s right.” Satan took a deep breath and collected himself after his laughing fit had finally ceased. “It’s nothing to worry about, Himiko. It shouldn’t be bothering you. Just don’t listen.”

Himiko somehow gripped her fork even tighter as she levelled her ice cold glare at Satan. “Thank you so much for demonsplaining how I should deal with and feel about the very human problem of people seeing me as some toy.”

The venom in her words seemed to snap the rest of the table out of their giggly stupor, and Mammon gave Himiko a few pats on the back.

“Ah don’t worry about it, Himiko. I’ll fight any bastard who says anythin’ like that.” Suddenly realizing he hadn’t been a tsundere for five whole minutes, Mammon went red and snatched his hand away. “Ya know, just because you’d probably use the pact and order me to anyway…”

“I’m not a dere~” Levi began to softly sing, Himiko perked up and grabbed Mammon’s cheek.

“A tsun-tsundere~”

“Not that song again!”

That should have been the end of that whole debacle. Himiko’s decent mood had been restored and all was well! The gang chatted amicably for the rest of dinner. Himiko made sure to heap loads of praise on Asmo for his amazing pasta. She felt a part of her die when she went in for fourths and the spoon scraped the bottom of the pot.

Too bad nothing ever goes smoothly in the Devildom.

Since it was Asmo’s night to cook, it was Himiko’s night to do dishes, so she got up and began to clear the table. As she began to collect the unused knives, Lucifer, not looking up from his newspaper, handed Himiko his plate.

“Thank you, pet, that’ll be all.”

Himiko stopped dead in her tracks and her grip on the plate tightened. “Repeat that, Lucifer?”

“Thank you, pet, that’ll be all.”

A tiny smirk spread across Lucifer’s face, which only served to make Himiko’s blood boil. If he thought he could make a joke about that while she was still mad he had another thing coming.

As quick as a flash, she had whipped the plate straight at the ground, shattering it into dozens of tiny pieces, before Lucifer even had a chance to say anything, Himiko was standing in front of him with a frigid glare on her face.

“Lucifer, put your hand flat on the table and spread your fingers. Keep quiet.”

With no choice but to obey, Lucifer slapped his hand down on the dining table, though, the glare he was giving her wasn’t any less murderous. Not caring, Himiko’s gaze remained cold and calculating, she turned to the other brothers, who were rooted in place from sheer shock. “Stay.”

“I’d just like to get something out there to you seven,” Himiko said calmly, holding one of the knives in her right hand and waving it around like it was the most casual thing in the universe. “I, am no one’s pet,”

Himiko turned and slammed the knife right between Lucifer’s middle and index fingers, imbedding it deep in the table.

“Arm candy,”

The second knife was slammed right in between Lucifer’s middle and pointer finger.

“Or accessory.”

The final knife went between his index and pinkie finger. Himiko’s next words were slow and deliberate as she stared the strongest of the brothers directly in the eyes.

“I am your friend, and equal, I won’t accept being anything less, whether it’s a joke, or not. You agreed to those terms the day we made our pact, didn’t we Lucifer? Have you changed your mind?”

It was so quiet you could hear Henry 2.0 swimming around in Levi’s room upstairs. No one dared to breathe as the seconds ticked past.

Finally, Lucifer responded, his voice tinged with exasperation. “No Himiko, I haven’t.”

“Good,” A small triumphant smile appeared on Himiko’s face as she removed the knives from the table and finished up cleaning the table. “That goes for the rest of you boys too, got it?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Mhm.”

“Yes…”

As Himiko walked into the kitchen to do everyone’s dishes, they quietly reminded themselves exactly who they were dealing with. Himiko Nanami was no dainty little human, no no no, she was the one master to rule them all, and by god was she going to make sure no one ever forgot.

——————

AAAAAAAA THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!!!! I really need to write more stuff with Himiko! Inspiration struck at like… 10 this morning and I just ran with it.

Now on one hand, I can see that people might think that Himiko overreacted to Lucifer’s little joke a tad. Buuuuuuuuuuut she’s gotta shut down that shit early, right? She doesn’t want “pet” to be the next “chihuahua”.

Lucifer’s probably trying to stick his nose back in his newspaper as he wonders whether he’s incredibly enraged or unbelievably turned on.

Hope you all enjoyed! Now back to the regularly scheduled shitposting.

[kuroosweakness]

their study habits?

me writing this instead of studying :D u have no idea how much i wanna study with kuroo right now </3 

━ kuroo tetsurou

- he’s so smart it’s annoying >:( 

- barely studies, yet just seems to understand everything??? sadly, he’s not very good at teaching ... he tries his best, but he’s just not making much sense :’) 

- kuroo’s one of those people who endlessly teases you. normally, the teasing would be annoying but since it’s coming from him, YOU CAN’T HELP BUT SMILE. and he’s aware of it. 

- his handwriting is just ... lines. messy, yet neat? it looks like a font, the type of font that makes you wonder “who would even use this?!” 

- definitely messes around with his hair when frustrated 

- pulls the “did you know?” every 20 minutes. no kuroo, i did not know that humans share 50% of their DNA with bananas, but now i do...thanks to you 

- he’s so cheesy he passes notes with you even though you’re sitting right next to him 

━ miya osamu 

- the snacker. always has some sort of food beside him. 

- while everyone else is contemplating what to review, he’s wondering what to eat for lunch :’) 

- the food he brings to study sessions are immaculate. yogurt pretzels, dried mangos, pizza, instant ramen, celery, chocolate tiramisu, cinnamon rolls, apple juice, lemonade, strawberries and nutella, fruit sandwiches, french toast, chicken sandwiches. he’s got them all. 

- be on his good side, and he’ll bring you a serving! 

- depending on who’s asking, he’ll whether nod his head if you ask him for food or immediately snatch it away 

- he only writes down the most important parts. even though he doesn’t really try, his notes are pleasing to look at. he has his own special way of note-taking. 

~~~

“‘samu have you done #14 yet?” 

osamu blinks and brings a piece of garlic bread to your mouth, opening his mouth wide open as if he’s feeding a baby. “no.” 

━ miya atsumu 

- gets off track every five minutes. 

- “i haven’t rode a bicycle in so long. you know what we should do later? go ride bikes.” .... okay? but what do bikes have to do with stoichiometry? 

- i feel like atsumu only studies when he REALLY needs to. such as a few days before exams. 

- plays with his hair a lot. twirls, twists, pulls, ruffles, his hair all over the place. it’s cute, especially when he walks out the library looking like he has never touched a hair comb before 

- complains about studying every ten minutes. but who doesn’t :( 

- his pencil lead breaks so often it’s funny

- acts like he reached a major milestone everytime he walks out the library 

━ suna rintarou 

- has his earbuds in for most of the time. he likes how quiet libraries are, but at the same time, doesn’t care if it gets loud.

- seeing suna study is a rare sight 

- is always talking shiz about teachers and professors 

- knows the best study spots! the perfect lighting, perfect noise level, perfect tables, yes. 

- randomly bumps your leg under the table and pretends nothing happens. will definitely play footsie with you. 

- likes to people-watch in libraries 

- uses the bare minimum of two notebooks, two pencils, and one eraser

━ sakusa kiyoomi 

- he’s so boring. studying is just studying. he probably uses a black 0.7 lead pencil 

- once in a while, he’ll get off track and stare into the far distance, giving you a full view of his side profile ... 👀

- randomly stares at you sometimes. when you ask “what?” he just shrugs and goes back to studying 

- he’s a dumbo. has no idea what happens during class, but truly tries! most of his learning is self-taught 

- uses flashcards. he truly believes that flashcards are the way to success. his flashcards are so neat and pleasing to look at! 

- doesn’t put his pen down until he fully understands something. it frustrates him to end something he’s not satisfied with 

- barely talks during study sessions. but likes to hear you ramble, even though it’s distracting for him 

━ oikawa tooru 

- HAS THE BEST STATIONARY! 

- pulls up to your study sessions with a bunch of new stationary! the first 30 minutes is just oikawa giving you a haul-explanation 

- his notes are so pretty!! (just like him .3.) when he puts in effort, his notes looks like they’ll be on my pinterest page. but when he doesn’t try, his handwriting is barely eligible. 

- has a whole schedule. 45 minutes of studying, 15 minute break. the breaks are quite chaotic :’) 

- studying with oikawa are more like dates than study sessions :) he makes it fun and enjoyable in a way that makes time fly by 

[runtedfiction]

the best

day 5: domesticity @zelinkweek2021

ao3

AN: i could spend a lifetime writing sleepy domestic scenes. also shoutout to @itcantbe, whose sweet and thoughtful comments have kept me going all week :)

* * *

Four times there’s someone waiting at home.

* * *

“You’re sure moving in together is a good idea,” Zelda says when all their boxes are already combined, stacked neatly on the floor of their new apartment.

Link laughs. “You’re asking me this now?”

“I’m asking you this now.”

He kisses the top of her head. There’s natural light, oak hardwood, and a kitchen with an island. This is everything they wanted, so she’s not sure why there’s dread gnawing at the bottom of her stomach. The loss of privacy? The merging of two lives? The thought of there always being a loving, patient partner to come home to?

He smiles at her when she hands him the scissors to open the first box. “I’m sure.”

* * *

They move in over the course of a weekend, and Monday is right back to work. It’s a rough Monday too--there’s a memory leak in one of her team’s apps and she spends all day trying to plug it. When she takes the train home she nearly gets off at her old stop. Remembering that her new place is slightly farther is enough to put her in a crabby mood when she comes home.

“Hey,” he says when she walks in the door. A waft of something warm and savory scents hits her. He didn’t mention that he’d be cooking today.

“Hello.”

Link looks up from the cutting board--her “Hello” did sound a bit terse coming out of her mouth. “How was your day?”

She flops down on the couch. “Ugh.”

“Ugh?”

“Ugh.”

“Well,” he says, sprinkling something on top of whatever’s in the pot, “dinner is ready whenever. I’m killing the heat now.”

“Mmhmm.” She pulls out her phone and starts scrolling.

“Man,” he says, and he goes to the couch. “Bad day?”

She puts her phone down to bury her face in his shoulder. “The worst.”

(“Better that you’re here now” goes unsaid. She wants a bit more time to mope around.)

He threads her finger through hers. “I’m sorry bud. You wanna talk about it over dinner? I made that veggie soup you like.”

She perks up, just a bit. “The one with the pasta?”

“The one with the pasta.”

* * *

The rest of the week isn’t much better. When Purah messages her asking if she wants to grab drinks after work on Friday, Zelda reacts with every “yes” they have in their company Slack.

“Fucking hell,” she says, sipping on a too-expensive drink in a too-nice bar. “Memory leaks on Monday, urgent stakeholder requests later, and unredacted log info today?”

Purah shakes her head. “They don’t pay you enough.”

“Amen.”

Robbie and Impa come, and Purah buys everyone a tequila shot. Then Zelda buys a round, because why not, and soon the four of them are out on the street giggling and searching for a karaoke bar.

Her phone buzzes. It’s Link.

“Hello?”

(“Ooooooooh Liiiink,” Purah coos. Zelda chooses to ignore her.)

“Hi,” he says. “I’m heading out from Daruk’s thing; I’ll be home in like 30.”

“Ok,” she says, and checks the time on her watch. “Oh, it’s one already! Don’t wait for me, I’m not too sure how long it’ll be.”

“Ok,” he says. “Have fun stay safe.”

“Yeah, I will!”

They find a karaoke bar that’s charmingly shitty with a two drink minimum. As soon as they walk in, someone is doing a very bad but very passionate rendition of “My House” by Flo Rida. They also queue up for the stage--Impa is willing to do a basic Taylor Swift song with her because she’s a stellar friend--and spend the rest of the night dancing and drinking.

It’s somewhere between four and five when Zelda makes it back home, still drunk but mostly tired. She changes into pajamas and brushes her teeth far too quickly, careful to not turn on the electric mode so Link doesn’t wake up.

She climbs into bed as quietly as she can considering her head is swimming and she can feel the blood rushing through it. Link stirs a bit, and she’s relieved when his breathing goes back to normal. But then he turns towards her, and fuck, maybe she really did wake him up.

Except all he does is sigh sleepily and reach for her.

Zelda, who was so exhausted and cold and tipsy a moment ago, melts.

* * *

The first time she plans dinner when he’s running late is mostly a success. She picked up a bottle of fancy French soda, the garlic bread is in the oven, and the sauce will come together soon.

There’s just one complication.

“You burned the spaghetti?”

She looks at the pot of clearly burned spaghetti. “No.”

He laughs, and redoes his ponytail to wash his hands and start slicing garlic. “Why didn’t you just get a bigger pot for the noodles?”

“Leave me alone,” she says, bumping her hip into his.

“No.”

He drops the knife to hug her. She tries to wriggle her way out of his grip to no avail.

* * *

When Sidon’s birthday rolls around, Zelda gets home earlier this time. Link insists that she go to bed, but he said he’d be home before three and she can wind down with some TV anyway.

(And if she checks his location every fifteen minutes and glances at the door every twenty to see if the lock will turn, what of it?)

When he does come in, she tries her hardest to look casual, and not like she’s been pining for the last two hours, and knew exactly when he would come home.

“Hello,” she says.

“Hi,” he replies, voice a little croaky. His hair is down fully, and he looks tired.

“Fun night?”

He shakes his head and smiles. “A little too fun. We went to that karaoke bar you recommended.”

“Nice!” She pats the seat next to her. “What’d you sing?”

“‘Home’.” When he sits down he smells like beer. “That Edward, something, Magnetic one?”

“Oh yeah. That’s a good one.”

“What’re you watching?”

“Oh.” She turns back to the TV. “Something silly. Paris Hilton has a cooking show now.”

“Huh.”

“Here’s a glass of water.” She lifts it off the coffee table. “Drink up so tomorrow morning isn’t that bad.”

His smile turns sheepish. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“You know,” he says later while they watch Paris Hilton make the worst French toast in the world, “sometimes I hate going out.”

“Why?” she asks, surprised.

“Home is nice,” he explains. He puts his head on her shoulder. “Warm and clean. And”--he hesitates, and she wonders if he’s going to say something cheesy because he always stops before that—”you’re here.”

“So cheesy,” she says.

He scrunches up his nose. “I know.”

She laughs and takes his hand. “But I get it. Welcome home.”

* * *

Months later, over a bowl of vegetable soup, he asks her if she’s sure this was a good idea.

Zelda looks up from her phone. “What?”

“When we first moved in together,” he explains around a bite of pasta and carrots and beans, “you asked me if I was sure this was a good idea.”

She laughs, and takes a sip. The tomato flavor is especially tangy today. “I did, didn’t I?”

“Yup.”

“Well,” she says with a shrug, “this place is everything we wanted. Hardwood, big kitchen, good light.”

He rolls his eyes. “You know that’s not what I'm asking.”

She smiles. “I know.”

She places a hand over his. He raises an eyebrow and asks, “So?”

“I think,” she starts, giving his hand a squeeze. He squeezes back and smiles. “I think this was the best idea ever. Having someone to come home to is nice.”

His smile grows soft. “The best?”

She nods, sure of it. “The best.”