#they have a lot of beef but for good reason i guess on both sides

[montaigness]

[yamujiburo]

Why I Love Hanamusa

I get this question very frequently but have never given a really in depth, definitive answer. All just kinda implied through my comics and spread out asks. So here's this I guess! Long post ahead:

First, as a Pokémon fan in her mid 20s, I love seeing a ship where the characters are both in their mid/late 20s. Already, they’re much more relatable to me and my current experiences. Most Pokémon ships are between preteens, which can be cute but ultimately don’t interest me as much as they used to when I was a kid myself. Not enough to get super invested in and draw a lot of fanart for anyways haha.

I’ll also start by saying that canon doesn’t always influence whether or not I’ll ship something. I’m much more drawn to potential. Could the characters work together? Do their personalities work together in a nice way? I feel like this so much of fanon is anyways. Especially with queer relationships because they’re rarely depicted in the first place. A lot of the context for these ships is usually up to the fans to piece together or make up in general. And that’s the fun part to me!

Jessie and Delia have only met in the anime a handful of times. Any interaction they’ve had has either been pleasant, or just a typical Team Rocket interaction, with Delia dismissing them/not seeing them as a threat. Already a great jumping off point for me since, truly, they don’t have any actual beef or true, ill feelings towards each other. It’s not TOO out of the realm of possibility for them to potentially fall for each other. “But Jessie chased Delia’s son around trying to steal his Pokémon!” That’s where that dismissive and aloof attitude that Delia has comes into play. I’ll go more into Delia’s whole deal a bit later but I do think this aspect of her personality is a large reason why this ship can work. It’s not that she doesn’t care that Jessie has a bad past, but she can tell that, on the inside, Jessie’s a good person. And, in a scenario where Jessie is trying to become a better person, is forgiving enough to give her a shot. I feel like this is such a solid foundation for a ship. A character who has done wrong but is trying to be better and another character who is willing to help them be better. A classic dynamic!

It’s not just one-sided though; where Jessie is the only one benefitting and learning from the relationship. I believe Delia could get a lot out of being with someone like Jessie. To understand why, I think it’s important to know these characters’ respective backstories.

Jessie is an orphan/foster child who grew up in poverty. Her mother Miyamoto (from The Birth of Mewtwo) was a Team Rocket operative herself, who went on a mission to find Mew. In order to do this, she had to leave Jessie when she was just a toddler. Unfortunately, Miyamoto went MIA on her mission leaving Jessie to more or less fend for herself. Jessie went through life with zero stability, evident by her MANY different careers and constant moving around. It’s implied in the show that she went from foster home to foster home, and later in life tried being an idol, weather girl, florist, wine connoisseur, actress, most notably a nurse and finally a Team Rocket field agent. And even while in Team Rocket, she, James and Meowth were always doing odd jobs to get by. We see that Jessie used to be a sweet kid, and even adult, but the world and her circumstances repeatedly did her dirty, leading her to become the character we know today. Hot tempered, mean, selfish, etc. But despite this, her soft side does still shine through for the people and Pokémon she cares about. She is incredibly loyal.

Delia, unbeknownst to a lot of fans, also had a rough past (see Pocket Monsters: The Animation). Like Jessie, she had a lot of dreams and aspirations like wanting to be a model and even a trainer. But when she was 10, her mother didn’t let her, telling her that she had to stay home and learn to run the family restaurant (she’s an only child). Delia’s father left her and her mother to be a trainer, and never returned. When she was 18, she married Ash’s father and became pregnant shortly after. But right after Ash was born, he also set off to be a Pokémon trainer. And soon after that, her mother passed away, leaving Delia with just the restaurant and baby Ash. This gives so much context to Delia’s attitude in the show. We see that Delia is pained whenever Ash leaves on a journey, but she never shows that pain to anyone. ESPECIALLY Ash. She’s very quick to shoo him off when he shows any sign of wanting to go on another journey and even when he returns home, she acts more excited to see Pikachu than him almost every time. Without all this backstory, it’s easy to just read this as a funny gag, BUT with context, I think it really shows how quickly Delia shuts down and detaches in order to not confront her own feelings. She’s afraid of losing people and getting hurt again.

All that said, I think Jessie and Delia provide each other with EXACTLY what the other needs. 

Aside from becoming rich and famous, Jessie’s biggest aspiration is to get married. In my opinion, this is more so an underlying want for love and stability. There is no one more stable in the show than Delia. Delia’s lived in Pallet her whole life, she’s worked at the same restaurant since she was young and she is always there when Ash comes back home. She has all the love, patience and stability Jessie needs and craves. While forgiving, Delia’s not stupid and can keep Jessie in check. Delia’s also just an angel, which I feel, would make Jessie want to be better. And on top of all this, on more of a surface level, Delia’s a chef and excellent cook. She shows love through cooking and Jessie, who grew up poor, regularly starving and eating snow, happily receives that love. Jessie’s able to live a happy and healthy life with someone like Delia.

Delia, as stated, is very stable. Likely pretty monotonous and solitary, especially living in such a small town like Pallet. This isn’t a bad thing but it’s a little sad when you consider that Delia also had dreams of traveling, being a model and a trainer. She had to give up so many dreams in order to fulfill her duties as a restaurant owner and mother. And even now, when Ash is off on his journey, she feels the need to always be home and be that stable pillar, leaving behind any ambitions she had, thinking it’s too late for her (she’s only 29 btw). But then along comes Jessie, dangerous, passionate, an absolute firecracker. Someone who’s whole life has been about chasing dreams and either, never giving up on them or finding a new dream to chase. Upon learning about Delia’s past aspirations, I could see Jessie pushing her towards them, letting her know that life’s too short and she has nothing to lose from trying. On top of this, Jessie’s also loyal. She, James and Meowth are depicted as doing anything for anyone who gives them food or shows them kindness. Delia does both so there’s no way Jessie would leave her. This fulfills an essential need for Delia, who is afraid of the people in her life leaving her.

There’s so much potential for mutual growth and learning between these two and I adore that. They compliment each other, they help each other and they bring out the best qualities in one another.

I’m not really sure how to end this and I could truly talk about them even more but I don’t want this to be tooooo long haha. OH I could end it with maybe the most funny aspect of this ship that I've brushed over and also what drew me to it in the first place. Jessie. As Ash’s stepmom. THE END.

[qveenofgluttony]

Just like every year, the guests were ushered from the entrance into the grand ballroom as each one arrive. The curtains were drawn, allowing moonlight to pour in through the large windows. The ballroom itself was the very definition of luxury and decadence.

As more and more guests poured in, there was a sudden boom, followed by a puff of multicolored smoke on the stage near the far back of the ballroom, soon revealing none other the princess of Gluttony herself.

"Goooood Eveniiiiiing, everyone! Welcome to Gluttony. I speak for my mom when I say we're both excited to have you all here! We got an exciting weekend planned for you guys! But first things first, since there's a lot more of you this year, we need to lay down some ground rules. First one!"

"NO FIGHTING! Our guest list is more...mixed this year and I know some you guys got beef with each other. If you can't put aside your differences for three days then take that shit outside! In short, don't be a dick and ruin this ball for everyone else!"

"Second rule! This is Hell, we know a lot a of us are a bunch of horny fuck so if you can't keep it your pants for the duration of the event, we got sex and orgy rooms available for you guys to use. Ask the nearest servant and they'll help direct you to them. So we don't want any excuses!"

"Third rule! Yes, the food and drinks are free! And yes, you can take any leftovers home with you at the end of the event. If there is any left. There should be though! This is the fucking Gluttony Ring!"

"Annnnd I think that pretty much covers--oh yeah! Since there's a lot of new people attending this ball for the first time, I should tell you all about the game! My mom--Queen Beelzebub will be disguised as another demon during this whole thing. The first person who is able to correctly guess her identity by the last day will get a reward--within reason. Oh, and fellow sins aren't allowed to play due to having an unfair advantage. Sorry guys! So good luck to any of ya that wanna try their luck this year!"

"Unfortunately, something came up and our mysterious guest performer had to dip at the last minute. So there will be no closing performance on Sunday."

"And now that covers it! I'll be back in about an hour once everyone is here to give you all a special musical performance. Now without further ado..." Confetti cannons situated on either side of the stage goes off, raining down colorful confetti on the guests, signaling the start of the masquerade ball!

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY FUCKING STARTED~!!!"

[thedreadvampy]

So, wow, ok, it doesn't grant them voting rights or a seat on the Security Council but the UN has successfully voted to move Palestine from an observer state to a member state, which means it can put forwards motions and join debates.

this is. fucking miraculous. as a sign that the US is wavering in its support of Israel.

Of course they're bitching about it and the US right are already trying to pull all funding from the UN (frankly I'm in favour of this if it was unilateral can we be honest cause if the US actually shot its load and withdrew from the UN maybe the UN could be something other than an arm of US control) but this has never been allowed to happen.

(threatening to pull funding is America's favourite pasttime when it comes to Israel, and is also the only reason Israel exists at all, because America threatened to pull funding and aid if there was a single-state solution in 1947)

As long as the US puts its full weight behind Israel, as it has for over 75 years, the popular movement for Palestine will not find any expression at an international state level. Nobody who is not already in America's bad books will intervene without support, and even those who are already disliked by the US, like Iran, are afraid to risk kicking off all out war with the US.

This is all true while America backs Israel.

But I think, or at least I hope, that it's becoming less and less tenable for them to put all their eggs in the Israel basket. They're being increasingly condemned and cold-shouldered from outside, and facing a popular uprising inside to a degree they haven't seen since the 60s which they're so far unable to quash through propaganda or violence. Popular support for Israel is collapsing fast.

Now to you or I - normal fucking guys - this is a moral issue first and foremost. People are being killed in their thousands and That's Bad. But governments don't believe in people, they believe in numbers - profit margins, approval ratings, debts, how many potential enemies vs how many potential allies.

A moral cost won't change things but an economic and political one will, and when the costs of supporting Israel outweigh the benefits, America will shuffle away from it and pretend they were against Israel all along.

If you believe, as I do, that Palestine will be free, then America still has time to do the thing it loves to do - come in blazing in defence of the underdog at the end of a genocide it sponsored and nurtured, claim the title of Great Liberator, and rely on everyone remembering that more than they remember the preceding decades.

the downside there is that the US has rarely been SO publicly, loudly in support of a second party state as it is with Israel. it has LOUDLY invested a lot - money, time, political capital - into Israel and the Zionist cause for over 100 years, and it's devoted a huge amount of its internal propaganda machine to a) the Goodness of Israel and b) the Arab world being the ultimate evil. I don't know if they can pull off the America Classic here. I don't know if anyone's buying it.

as well, the global incentives that made the US back the formation of Israel are still there - which is to say, there's a lot of Middle Eastern states with a lot of (reasonable) beef against the US, and Israel presents a powerful barrier to Arab unity. Could they transfer that power over to Saudi Arabia? Maybe, but that's still Arab. I think they're very afraid of losing a foothold in the Middle East. But also they're building hostility there again by continuing to support Israel, so they might be better advised to jump ship while they still can.

(the other fear I guess is that if they pull out and Israel survives and completes its genocide, they will also have lost the foothold, and will have burned all their bridges on both sides)

like my hope is that at this point the US state's relationship with Israel is a game of chicken and I hope they're coming towards a point where the internal division, the international condemnation, the rebellion of the UN, and the weakening of the Israeli state make it more threatening to US interests to stay allied to Israel than to withdraw.

And the US is the linchpin. The only thing allowing Israel to act with impunity is that the US is standing behind it holding a big stick.

When the US caves on Israel - and it will, sooner or later - the world will scramble to follow. So we have to keep making support for Israel politically inconvenient. Keep fighting US support for the occupation because the movement isn't visible much of the time but Palestine becoming a member state of the UN without US sanctions is a jolt of movement. It shows we're moving this huge thing off course, and we can't let up - the more it moves, the easier it will become to move.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #365

Today was relatively boring until R popped by to make cookies. I woke up a little later than I probably should have, and then I did a bit of leisure writing for longer than I probably should have, and then I showered and went to physical therapy. Not much progress was made on the “rib injury recovery” front, but that's okay. Not all sessions can be perfectly productive.

But on the bright side, at some point this morning, I pushed on my first or second rib near my right shoulder joint, and something went POP really nicely, and that made it a lot easier for me to move my right arm around for a little while. So that was pretty cool!

I ate when I got home, which was very good, because by the time I got home, I hadn't eaten in like over 24 hours. The whole “needing to scrub out the inside of my face” thing and the whole “some of my dentin is exposed and ouchy because of the way some of my teeth have moved” thing really discourage the whole “eating” thing. So admittedly... I haven't exactly been keeping up with the whole “eating balanced meals” thing lately. Whoops.

But! Here's what I made for myself! I thought it was really good!

We've got warmed pumpkin English muffins with mascarpone cheese spread on them, a burrata, a peeled, in-season grapefruit (they're SOOOO good when they're in season...!!!), some salami, some cheese slices, and some roast beef! And there's one of the brownies that Br, the dandelion-haired man, made for us!

The mug has toast-and-jam flavored tea, sweetened with honey and uh... more mascarpone cheese, ahahaha~! I think... at least for now... that it might be my new favorite thing in tea. Like. It goes surprisingly well with literally so many things, oh my goodness!

...I wonder if you would have liked my breakfast. I wish I could have shared it with you. I thought it was pretty freaking great.

After that, I mostly just chilled out until R arrived. And once he did arrive, he showed me all the awesome stuff he's got in his sketchbook so far!!! Because, you see, R is not only an amazing baker; he's also an amazing artist and illustrator!!!

Actually, art class in college over a decade ago is how I know him. We were in the same figure drawing class together. And both of us have experience drawing P, my elderly friend.

...Thinking about it, it's kinda wild that R and I both know what P looks like naked, for entirely non-sexual reasons. It's also kinda wild, some of the crazy poses that P can do for the sake of a figure drawing class, despite his age. I guess all that yoga he does must be really helpful.

What a weird and varied life I live!!! Hahahaha!

…

...I'd give it to you in a heartbeat, you know. If you wanted it. If you wanted something different. I'd trade places. I know that things in my world aren't perfect; there are lots of problems, to be sure. But still, I'd happily take on whatever pain you carry so that you can have the wholesomeness and joy that I have now.

For now... I guess I'll just settle for showing you pictures of the cookies that R and I baked together from the cookie dough he made for us last week.

These are cranberry oatmeal cookies:

These are cookies with red and green M&Ms scattered through the dough. For whatever reason, red and green put together are traditional Christmas colors in my part of the world. M&Ms, in case you don't know, are round pieces of chocolate coated with a thin, brittle candy shell. I don't like M&Ms very much. But I do like these cookies:

...And finally, we have these crescent-shaped almond flour cookies, dusted with vanilla-infused sugar:

...I think you really would have liked those ones in particular. I think my favorite was the cranberry oatmeal cookies, though, which, to me, is pretty wild, given that I'm not normally very fond of oatmeal cookies!!

At some point, R and I got to talking just a little bit about a game called Ape Escape, and its sequel, Ape Escape 2. These are games in which you run around capturing monkeys that are causing mischief due to the intelligence-enhancing helmets they wear. Presumably, they heighten their capacity to wield tools, without heightening their capacity for empathy, impulse control, or delayed gratification. It's a very cute pair of games!

I played the sequel within the last several years. I haven't played the original since I was a teenager (holy shit, how in the fuck did I get old???) Nonetheless, there are several very catchy tracks from the original game that I thought were really memorable. So catchy and memorable, in fact, that I still know them even after all these years, even without having heard them since then until just today. I heard them just today, because I went looking for them, just so I could show them to you, because I think they're peppy and fun, even if they are a bit silly and a tad repetitive:

...Of the ones above, my favorite is probably the first one!! It kinda makes me wanna wiggle, ahahahaha~!! But I really really like the second one, too! That one kinda makes me wanna stomp my feet around really fast!! And the third one makes me kinda wanna skip and hop around!! Eeeheehee~!!

...Hey, Sephiroth? Are there any songs that make you wanna wiggle or dance around in some joyful way? If there are, will you show them to me? It'd be nice to wiggle and stomp and skip and hop around with you like the pair of silly, overcomplicated primates that we are! Bahaha~!!

From the second game, I really enjoy these two:

The first one makes me wanna do some kind of hula!!! And the second one really makes me wanna zoom around, especially at the part that starts at around 41 seconds in!!

Hey, Sephiroth!!! Maybe someday let's also hula and zoom around like a couple of silly marshmallows!!! Won't that be fun!!!

...Impossible, I know. But still, I like to imagine you can read the above things and grin delightedly at the thought of it!! Maybe you can still try these things even if I'm not nearby to do it with you!!

...You know, I'll bet Zack would wiggle and dance around with you, though! Maybe you can ask him!!

Ahhhh!!!!! I have an itch to do StepMania now!!!! But it's much too late at night to get into all that! Goodness me!!!!

...I've decided that the second sentence in the above paragraph is all your fault!!! I declare shenanigans (insert here a mental image of me pointing a dramatically accusatory finger directly at you)!!! And the only “apology” I'll accept is if you to do the StepMania together with me!!! Wahahahaha~!!

...I'm kidding, of course! In all seriousness, though, I'll have to ask J if we can test out StepMania on his laptop soon, since mine kinda... can't be moved around very well anymore, since the screen is broken.

R eventually had to go home. But you know what!! I got to send him home with the lavender-scented sloth plushie that I found at Walgreen's when I was spending time with BB!! It's got a little sachet inside filled with lavender and with things that absorb heat well. So you put the sachet in the microwave to warm it up, and then you put the warmed sachet in the sloth plushie, and then you have a warm, fuzzy, cuddly plushie to hug!! And this one is especially good, since I'm pretty sure sloths are R's favorite animal!

Hey, Sephiroth...? What kind of plushie would you like best? I wonder...

…

...I can't believe it's time for me to go to bed already. I gotta, because I have work tomorrow. And I do wanna go to work, but I don't wanna go to bed yet, because I'm writing to you, and I'm having a lot of fun with it. I feel really silly and good right now, probably because I'm in less pain than usual, and probably because I had a little too much caffeine, and probably way too much sugar from the cookies I ate, hahaha...

...Even if you can't ever talk or write back to me, I hope you know that it's still a lot of fun to write to you, even on days when I don't feel very good. It's still a lot of fun to spend time with you, even in this abstract way. You're lovable as-is, you know. You always have been. You always will be.

And I know that because I love you. I always will. It's never gonna change. So please try to stay safe out there as you do your things over at the Edge of Creation, okay? Because I'm not sure I'd be able breathe beneath a weight as immense as your absence.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[pleucas]

this is said with no malice towards you i love your art!! i like you!!

also not capitalizing chuuya's name even tho i have better humor than this

this is going to be loooong but i never read a more stupid ask….

i don’t hate skk bcs i use my brain and see that they’re actually good and a fun ship when someone isn’t ruining it. what i hate is most skkers being unfunny towards Dazai and the continuous mischaracterization of him just to make chuuya look better (mostly chuuya stans but also dumb Dazai stans are guilty of it)

and no Dazai isn’t the worst and chuuya doesn’t deserve better in fact i think yall can’t handle a person with mental illness and a fake persona he clearly put on people always demonize him so i think saying he’s the worst and chuuya isn’t proves my point. they both EQUALLY did the same bad things Dazai isn’t more toxic than chuuya it’s more like Dazai is the one who’s going back to a toxic ex (mind u chuuya was ready to hurt or maybe even kill some of the ada members people Dazai obviously cares for)

the skk hater? who loves chuuya and hate Dazai because they know chuuya’s character will never be as important or as impactful on bsd universe as Dazai’s noted.

if you love chuuya and hate Dazai your opinion about Dazai is immediately invalid like i think they just know no bsd character can be better written and more interesting than Dazai he's what keeping bsd good (and Fyodor i liked him in the last chapters even more)

imo if chuuya keeps appearing he'll just get boring🤷‍♀️ because most of his storyline is over

Dazai on the other hand always entertaining and deep and there’s a reason he’s involved in everything and never forget everything he did for chuuya stormbringer would be nothing without Dazai helping chuuya from the shadows and chuuya knows it but i guess people will still makes him the bad person in skk when he’s the one trying to change and be better person

also Dazai is someone who’s storyline is still on going as well as we know almost nothing about his past or what actually goes on in his brain i can say three things about his backstory and that’s it.

sorry for rumbling i can’t take that level of stupidity

pls don’t block me im not evil…..

holy shit we got cross-ask beef. this is insane

i'm gonna lowercase Both their names because i think this is the reasonable next step. LOL. & i'll also ramble a bit to match ur freak!

i will strive to clarify that me agreeing that dz=worst chuuya deserves better was, as i specified, "on a generalized scale" — on a very, very, VERY surface level this is a jokey way i've seen a lot of skkers talk about their relationship. more of an inside joke atp ig? idk. srry if that wasnt clear

but i do think it's valid to dislike a ship because you don't like one half of it. i totally get how dz's character can piss ppl off, esp if ure missing lns and mangas (which rimu wasn't, but they watched the anime first so the precedent was set). i found the first part of their thesis to be pretty funny actually, just (again) taking it at face-value.

it's also understandable that they try and dissect dz then miss the mark by a mile LOL. but again, can't be blamed if you hate the guy and thus don't read into him too much, which i think is a reasonable way to consume media... probably more reasonable than me. hence why i didn't respond with my own thesis paper. overall idk man it's not that deep, i've been having fun with rimu and i'd advise y'all to also be silly w/ ur Budgeted RPF Dead Author Yaoi, it'll make things a lot better

abt what you've said, i think dz and chuuya can't exist as true characters w/o each other, unless you fundamentally change their truth. a lot of their good & bad (& inbetween) sides are exposed through their relationship, which i believe is asgr's very interesting way of employing "show-don't-tell." i don't think chuuya's storyline is over, because dazai's isn't, and vice versa. this doesn't mean i don't think they have their own arcs, just that these arcs Must involve the other — if dz's main conflict is good/bad + the mafia, chuuya is his biggest amiable tie to it, and if chuuya's conflict is his self + power, dz must be there for corruption. there's more to say there, but again i don't want to feed rimu's claims of us all being dormant essayists LOL

we got dz glazer and rimu, D1 dz hater. and cheese anon.

[varlaisvea]

WIP Wednesday today!

This was the thing that started it all! This was the start of what is now a novel-length fic that I have not posted. It got moved to the prologue, and now might get left out entirely, though I hope I can find a way to include it!

Pairing: Razum-dar & The Vestige (canon)* Words: 5.3k Rating: T, alcohol and allusions to sex Summary: After a fraught visit with Raz's family, Razum-dar and the Vestige have a drunken heart-to-heart. Or something vaguely analogous. (Takes place after the ESO: Elsweyr quest "Home Sweet Home") (*Note: For lulz and challenge reasons, I wanted the Vestige to be the same as they are in-game in ESO, where the canon Vestige lacks a soul and knowledge of their past. Much like the written content of ESO, this Vestige POV also contains no mentions of the Vestige's name, race, age, gender, or any other identifying characteristics. But in a fun and cute way, at least I hope!)

-----

The food was good, and the overall mood was pleasant, but I’ve certainly been to less tense family dinners. And I don’t even have a family.

“Where are you headed now, my friend?” Raz asks me, after we both say our goodbyes to his family. “If you are not sick of this one by now, you are welcome to travel with Raz to Elden Root.” He does not look enthused about going to Elden Root.

“What’s in Elden Root?” Raz sighs heavily. “The closest portal to Eyevea. Raz dislikes travel methods that disassemble and then reassemble your entire existence, but he does what he must for the Dominion.”

“What’s in Eyevea?”

“All Raz knows so far is that he is meeting a Psijic who claims to have important information, and apparently has very questionable motives.”

“Sounds like the type of work you’re best at.”

“Yes, subterfuge is one of Raz’s many, many sleek specialties, as you well know,” he says, buffing his claws. “But this one has a feeling about this mission.”

I feel a little guilty that I’m more intrigued than concerned, but I’m going to chalk it up to faith in Raz’s abilities. “Sounds like it’s not a good feeling,” I say.

“Just so.” He sighs again. “Her Majesty would not send the captain of her guard, Brogomir, to personally retrieve Her Majesty’s most valuable agent, Razum-dar, from a vacation she herself imposed on him—to send said extremely dashing agent to a secret, inaccessible mage island in a pocket dimension, where anyone with political business is distinctly and explicitly unwelcome—if this were not a very weighty matter for the Dominion.”

“You make a good point,” I say, and now I am even more intrigued, but also concerned.

“To meet a member of the Psijic Order, no less! We know how the Psijic Order feels about the Mages Guild, yes?”

Right, totally, I guess I remember they have beef or something? I nod.

“This is why Raz suspects that Her Majesty could use your help, if you do not have more urgent business.”

He seems more cautious than normal. I think there’s something he’s not telling me. Then again, there always is. “Elden Root’s as good as anywhere, then!”

“Ah, fragrant, as the folks back home—uh, here—would say. Raz will meet you in Elden Root, then!” He heads off without another word—he seems like he’s in a hurry to leave Merryvale.

Despite all I’ve accomplished, I haven’t been in this reality very long, so there are some things I don’t understand yet. For example, why do people always want to meet me somewhere when we’re going to the same destination? It seems like traveling together would leave less chance of getting separated or side-tracked.

Nevertheless, somehow when I get to the inn in Elden Root, Raz has already been there long enough to book us some bunks at the inn, find a quiet place to drink, and make a pretty good dent in a bottle of moon-sugarcane rum. He has found a place not too far from the inn, but a lot nicer: the roots of the Great Tree are wide enough to sit ten people from side to side, and the one Raz is sitting on overlooks a waterfall and the river; the setting sun lights up the arches of the Elden Root Temple in the distance. He even brought a blanket to sit on.

As I get closer, I see he has scrapes all over his face and neck that he definitely didn’t have when we left Merryvale. “Whoa, what happened to you?”

“Five-claw!” he says, as if he didn’t just see me in Merryvale. “So glad you could make it! Please, do not worry about old Raz,” he says, pouring a drink. “There was some confusion after this one placed an order for supplies—” he holds up the bottle of rum. “The vendor called out ‘order for Raz’ and a tall, intimidating, very muscular Orc went and grabbed all the parcels! Raz, this one, had to confront him—”

“Oh, no…”

“—it turns out his name was Roz, spelled differently. A simple misunderstanding!” Raz laughs.

“So… what happened to your face, then?’ I ask, sitting down next to him on the blanket.

“Well, this one and the Orc Roz decided to split one of the bottles of rum. Events unfolded, and we found ourselves in a… heated… conversation.”

“Oh,” I say, grimacing. “Seems like it didn’t end well.”

“Ah, no, Raz should have been clearer—this was the type of ‘heated’ ‘conversation’ that typically ends very well.” He is already drunk, so that joke delights him. “Contrary to what this one’s mother says about him, he can say no to a pretty face, he just does his best not to make a habit of it, yes?” He takes a drink. “And, you must agree, it would be grievously unjust for this pretty face to deny due consideration to all reasonable requests.” He grins.

I roll my eyes. How did he even have time for that? “Right, so… the Orc.”

“Yes, Roz. You may be wondering, how is kissing accomplished with so many differently-shaped fangs involved? Or maybe you do not need to wonder at all, ha!” He tips his cup to me. “But this evening, Raz was reminded that the answer should be very carefully.”

I search my pack for something to eat—it’s been about two or three hours, so I’m hungry.

“You are a member of the Mages Guild, yes?”

I nod. “And the Psijic Order.”

“Of course you are.” He shakes his head and takes a drink, then looks back at me. “Raz did not want to sound concerned,” he says, “but the truth is he is very glad to have you along.” He finishes what’s in his cup. “Arriving in Eyevea will be possible with your help—this one did not exactly have a plan of his own.”

“Glad I could—“

“—And, as an additional benefit, Raz will now have time to threaten you appropriately!” Raz says cheerfully. “Raz assumes it is healthy to have one’s ego culled from time to time, but it was quite unfortunate that you saw what this one’s family thinks of him.” He refills his cup generously. “Raz is glad you have also seen how adept he is at killing, because he is going to swear you to secrecy about his relationship with Mother and Rakhzargo.”

I roll my eyes again as I take a bite of my Longfin Pasty with Melon Sauce. “Who would I tell, Raz? Surprisingly, the subject of how much your family likes you has never come up in conversation with anyone but you,” I say, with my mouth still full for extra mockery.

He laughs. “And it should stay that way, yes? Captain Brogomir’s arrival was what made Raz’s mother and brother change their tune, so luckily Brogomir did not hear them calling Raz a good-for-nothing drunkard,” he says, with an obvious note of bitterness. ”You are the only one who knows.”

“Heh. You think Brogomir didn’t already know you’re a good-for-nothing drunkard?”

“Funny, five-claw. Raz knows Ziz Kurah, incidentally.” I realize how much he doesn’t sound as playful as he usually does when he threatens to kill me. He sounds… kind of hurt, actually. I look up from my meal to see that he’s already nearly done with the cup of rum he just poured. Maybe it’s best to change the subject. “So… what’s next?”

Raz finishes what’s in his cup. “Tomorrow we go to Eyevea and meet with this Psijic. Raz does not know much more than that.” He uncorks the bottle to refill his cup. “Tonight,” he says with a dark sigh, pouring himself a generous amount of rum, “this one intends to get very drunk. One reason we’re staying at an inn—this is frowned on at the Altmer embassy.”

It’s obvious the time in Merryvale upset him. Raz and I have been through a lot together, I realize—he’s one of the closest friends I’ve made in my travels. But I’m not sure if he wants to talk about it, or just get drunk about it. Either way, I wasn’t doing anything this evening. “Could I be helpful with that, too?”

Raz grabs another large bottle of rum from his pack, and sets it down proudly next to him on the blanket. “Ah, five-claw! Truthfully, this one is just as relieved to have you with him on this evening’s journey as he will be to have your help tomorrow!” He reaches into his pack, pulls out another stone cup, and pours me what’s left of the bottle he’s been working on. He lifts his cup to me so we can tap them together.

I down mine—pleasantly sweet—and I’m a little relieved to see Raz take a subdued sip of his. The last rays of the sun shine brilliantly though the tree canopy and make the top of the waterfall appear golden. We share a long, cozy silence.

“So,” Raz says finally, “how did you like Merryvale? Raz must seem like a different cat to you, now that you’ve seen where he comes from.”

“It’s a beautiful place.”

“Yes, and you met this one’s beautiful neighbors, to whom Raz made many beautiful promises when he thought he would never be coming back to Merryvale.” He takes a long drink. “Raz thanks you in advance, as he knows you will also not be telling anyone how that ended.”

I swish around the rum in my cup, then finish the rest of it. “Did you really think you were never going back there, when you told them?”

He sighs, and finishes what’s in his cup. “Sometimes love makes people do irrational things,” he says. “And now you know, this one has been in love at least three times, so… that’s very irrational, yes?“

“If making promises you don’t plan to keep counts as being in love, then it’s been many more than three,” I say, laughing, downing the rest of the rum in my cup. “Come on Raz, you’re a better liar than that.”

“Raz did say at least three times,” he says, without much humor in his voice. He sighs and leans his head back, covering his face with his hands. “Raz is only a good liar to people who have not seen his mother steal all of his confidence with a steely precision that would make Rajhin jealous. Thankfully, that is most people.” He refills his cup, then mine. “But leave it to Mother to get right to the truth, yes? And you have now met Raz’s neighbors in Merryvale, so you have seen this truth firsthand.” He sighs at length, like he’s about to say something he doesn’t want to. “It is very embarrassing to have an admired comrade find out that this one is actually the selfish, manipulative bastard his detractors curse.”

“Hey, I don’t think that about you! How could anyone who really knows you believe that?”

“Raz is telling you, Mother does really know him.” He doesn’t sound upset, just resigned, which might be worse. “Raz knows his reputation; he knows that many of his acquaintances would readily believe a rumor that he is just as much of a snake to his friends as he is to enemies of the Crown. He also knows he is charming enough to easily re-convince them otherwise.”

As with many things he says, I can’t tell if he’s implying seduction, deception, intimidation, or pure charm, but before I can ask him to clarify, I realize that the very fact that I have that question—and that he is more than capable of any combination of those—proves his point. I take a sip of my drink and nod, convinced.

He takes a long drink and looks out at the river, sighing. “But it would not change the fact that, for example, he hurt three lovely Khajiit he grew up with, because his ego was too fragile to see beyond his own whiskers.” He takes another sip, then gestures toward me with his cup. “You must not tell Raz that did not lower your opinion of him.”

“Well, it’s… definitely not one of the more noble things I’ve seen you do.”

“Ha! So diplomatic! Prior to then, you had mostly seen Raz disregard common decency in suave, roguish service to the Queen, and look so-sleek doing so. You had not seen him do it in selfishness, and so clumsily to boot.” He sighs, and drinks. “The folks back home in Merryvale see right through this one.”

“You’ve changed a lot since you last saw them, huh?”

Raz sighs. “Immeasurably.”

“For the better?” I ask, finishing my drink.

“Unquestionably.”

“From the perspective of someone who doesn’t know them, I don’t think they see through you. I think they look at you and see Razum, the sweet-talking troublemaker who left Merryvale many years ago.”

Raz appreciatively nudges me with his elbow. “Raz sees what you are trying to do, my kind friend, but… this one is very much still the arrogant liar who made sweet-toothed promises to his neighbors to get what he wanted, because he was too much of a coward to tell them he could never be happy with a life spent harvesting moon-sugar.”

“Being an arrogant liar is what makes him so valuable to Her Majesty, right? And his sweet-toothed promises too, I’m sure.”

He tips his cup to me.

“See? You’re still an ass, I’d never deny that, but I can’t see you doing something like that to someone now.”

“No, Raz is a much better liar now; he does not have to lie just to make pillow-friends. He finds them naturally on the strength of his sleek and elegant lies for Queen and country!”

I laugh, and we sit in tipsy silence.

After several moments, Raz sighs and says, “and… to be fair… this one’s neighbors still had to make him fear for his life in order to get an apology out of him.”

“You eventually gave it?”

“Yes… this one just had to get over himself a little first. But once I did, I listened to all of them, and apologized truly. And I apologized that they had to force it out of me. As Raz said earlier… sometimes it truly is valuable to see reflections of your less-respectable qualities.”

“But actually reflecting on them, being willing to apologize for them, and doing your best to make them right… those are good qualities you now have that you didn’t back then. Why is it so hard to believe that you’ve grown up, at least a little?”

“Heh, fine. I suppose you are right, five-claw. And Raz did not exactly give Kideya and Rakh-ja much of a chance to see that.”

“I can’t blame you for trying to put up with as few cutting remarks as possible,” I say. “It really started to bother me. You’ve saved my life before.”

“Raz admits, he did not fully realize what he was asking you to do in staying quiet through their insults, since he was so used to them.“ He finishes what’s in his cup. “Perhaps that is something else he should spend some time thinking about. Sometimes we all get used to things we should not, yes?”

I nod. “Especially the most resilient of us.”

He refills his cup and takes a sip. “But! Perhaps new moons have risen for Raz’s family relations! This one is not ready to trust it just yet, but he now finds himself in the shocking position of having received an apology and an enthusiastically glowing admission of pride from his mother.” He gestures at me with his cup. “Nicely done, as usual.”

“You act like I lied to her, like it was some sort of scheme! All I did was talk about you honestly.”

“Ah, heh. Perhaps Raz needs some time for it all to sink in. Or more drinks.”

We share another long but comfortable silence, both of us taking the occasional sip of rum. The moons are visible now, but the last rays of the setting sun still filter through the trees. My arms and legs are starting to feel pleasantly warm, and my head feels satisfyingly buzzy.

Raz breaks the silence again. “Rakh-ja was telling this one that he is in love with a Bosmer who had come through to help at the farm. They write each other letters.” He grins.

“That’s adorable,” I say, smiling at the thought. “I guess that’s what he meant when he saw Brogomir and said he wished he got letters from tiny elves.”

“He said that? Ha!” Raz seems pleasantly surprised.

“I thought he was joking!” I finish my cup. “Maybe technically telling the truth—cryptically, in plausibly deniable way—is a talent that runs in the family,” I suggest. I think I said all of those words right.

“Let us hope so, for the future Rakhzargo-dar!” Raz says, raising his cup. “Anyway, it is not so far to Elden Root from Merryvale, so Rakh-ja is doing as many extra chores as he can, so he can take days away from the farm.”

“Aww.”

“I left him a little pouch under his pillow—enough coin for his next caravan ride, and Raz’s personal favorite Bosmeri poem. Raz has had much success, being versed in poetry of the various races of Tamriel. He wishes Rakh-ja the same success.”

I refill my cup, and we silently toast Rakhzargo’s budding relationship.

“He must be pretty serious about this mer if he’s willing to do all that… stuff,��� I say.

“Yes, in Raz’s lifetime he has done many stupid, embarrassing, laborious, dishonest, and/or dubiously legal things for love—well, mostly for… love-adjacent pursuits. But he still cannot imagine being so in love that he is willing to do extra chores,” Raz shakes his head in disbelief.

I laugh more loudly than I’d intended. “Raz, everything you do could be characterized as ‘being so in love that you are willing to do extra chores!’” I try to temper my laugh, which is only possible to do by taking a sip of rum.

Raz sets down his cup in mock offense. “How dare you suggest this! What would ever give you that impression!” He touches his hand to his chest in dramatic shock.

“In your defense, even Her Majesty considers the Crown’s official business a ‘chore.’” I am learning jokes! I am hilarious. “You have always promised me you would tell me the good Ayrenn stories when we were drunk,” I say, finishing the last of what’s in my cup. “Here we are.”

“Ah, it is a sadness, but you have unfortunately missed the short window where Raz is both drunk enough to be willing, and sober enough to do so coherently.” He downs what’s left in his cup. “But! Suffice it to say… the truth is much more complicated than that, five-claw.” He gets very quiet. Then, to my astonishment, Razum-dar volunteers more information than is sufficient to answer a question. “Maybe once Raz loved her,” he says, shaking his head. “Maybe he still does. No, probably, he still does.” He sounds so sincere that I’m momentarily confused.

I shake my head to sober up a bit, because this is the good stuff, despite Raz’s warning. “She never felt the same?”

He smiles. “In our younger days, Raz was so smitten with her, but back then, she never felt any deeper than a drunken mistake or two. Well, four, to be precise. And a half.”

He probably doesn’t want to hear how sweet it is that he remembers how many. “Half a drunken mistake, huh?”

“Yes—four eighths.” He shoots me slick smile to indicate that he will not be elaborating. “Anyway, now, Raz’s old friend Ayrenn is the Queen. She considers those days behind her, and truthfully, so does Raz.” He fills my cup, then his, and takes a sip.

I am honestly not sure whether to believe him. “Hm… you ‘probably’ still love her, but those days are also ‘behind you’?” I look at him sideways while sipping my rum.

His mouth is full so he wags his finger at me while he swallows a gulp of rum. “That is a very unfair characterization,” he says, swaying a little. “Just because Raz said those words in that order…”

I intensify my sidelong gaze.

He sighs. “Raz understands your skepticism, five-claw—this one would also disbelieve Razum-dar in this conversation.” He leans his head back sleepily. “But… this one’s life, reputation, physical safety, and personal pride are all already devoted to Queen Ayrenn and the Dominion. More than that… that is too much devotion, yes?”

Very diplomatic, but I can tell there’s more. I stare at him expectantly.

When he opens his eyes and notices me staring, he sits up and stares back at me for several moments, then takes a long swig, and sighs with disgust. “Fine,” he says, leaning his head back and closing his eyes again. He speaks quietly, and with very little bravado. “Raz has known Ayrenn for a long time. He was, of course, embarrassingly smitten with her, instantly—he is from Nowherevale, Anequina, and she was a beautiful Altmer princess who saw that Raz was smart enough to keep up with her and clever enough to be very valuable—of course in addition to entertaining, charming, and handsome. Ayrenn appreciated and cared for this one very much—and in many ways—but she is an Altmer noble, yes? It did not even occur to her that it was possible to have romantic feelings for someone who is not Altmer. Which was fine, as such things could never be possible for us.”

“Oh come on!” I say, forgetting that he is telling me his own feelings, rather than a very good story about someone else. “Royalty have romances with people they aren’t supposed to all the time! Having a secret affair with one’s close advisor of a different race is kind of boring, actually.”

“Ha! Just so,” Raz says, “but, that is not the impossibility.” He takes a long drink. “It is bittersweet, yes? Time moves faster, for this one, than it does for Ayrenn. We are around the same age, but Ayrenn was still gaining height, when she met this one. Perhaps you have noticed her detractors call her a child? This is because she is still a kid, by Elf standards—barely old enough to have a profession. She has had to grow up a lot, and her bedding-Khajiit-as-an-act-of-rebellion days are over—by now, it has even occurred to her that it is possible to fall in love with someone who is not a High Elf. She has always seen Raz’s good qualities, such as the ones you just forced him to admit to, even when he very clearly failed to display them. And her appreciation for him only strengthens. But while her idea of love has matured somewhat… Raz has matured much faster. As have his ideas about love. ” He looks out over the river and sips his rum.

I have some feelings about time and the way we all move through it, but I am drunk and getting personal information out of Razum-dar; this is not an opportunity I will waste. I nod thoughtfully for a respectful length of time. “Hm,” I say quietly. “That addresses the ‘those days are behind you’ part, but not the ‘still love her’ part.”

Raz glares at me. “Raz is very suspicious of people who listen to him closely enough to notice his strategic omissions.”

He sits back again with resignation, and sighs. “There is a piece of Raz that is still the selfish, overconfident, and so, so, so stupid young cat this one was when he met Ayrenn. And there is a piece of Ayrenn that is still an obnoxious High Elf princess who has never known real danger, hunger, or struggle. Those two idiots will always have a feeling about each other that is not love, but as close to it as they are capable of, and just as irresistible. Said idiots live only in our memories, in the moment in time when they both got to be in the same place. Otherwise they are gone, and this is very much for the best—for us, for the Dominion, and for the mudcrab fight rings and live slaughterfish dealers of Tamriel.” He smiles the I-will-not-be-elaborating smile again. “But those two jackasses will also live as long as we do, yes? This is more than enough—one of us is an Elf, after all.”

It’s just nice to hear him say nice things. “Raz, I am glad you’re my friend,” I say. My head is swimming, but in a nice way. The moons are very clear. It’s nice.

“Heh. Raz has not seen you this drunk before, five-claw,” Raz says, distinctly drunkenly. “Perhaps spending time with Kideya had the same effect on you that it did on this one.” He pours out the last of the bottle, some into his cup and the rest into mine.

“I’m going to say something,” I announce… “I don’t think Kidi… Kedd… Kend… your mother ever really gave up on you. Some of my best Razum-dar stories… she believed them very easily. Like she suspected all along.”

He laughs a little sadly. “You are kind to your old friend Raz, truly. But this one suspects her extracredulousity may have something to do with the messenger. It is not every day you meet the Champion of Anequina, slayer of dragons, Moon-Hallowed, savior of Tamriel and Nirni, hero of the Dominion, and so on.” He does a lazy but sincere toast to me, like he can barely lift his arm.

“Raz!” I don’t know why this embarrasses me so much, but it does. “Here I thought I was just a normal… uh… adventurous citizen to her. You told her all that?”

“Yes,” he says without hesitation, “this one had no choice. While you and Brogomir were arranging for a messenger to Alinor, Raz was testifying to your good character—so Mother would know he was not inviting a degenerate like himself to dinner. Unfortunately, Mother initially mistook Raz’s friendly admiration for a sign that perhaps there could be grand-kittens for her, down the road.”

I recoil in mild disgust. “Oh.”

“Yes,” Raz says emphatically. “No offense, but Raz had to stop that line of thinking immediately. So, he told her about you saving the world—anyone would admire the legendary defeater of Molag Bal, the one who stopped the Planemeld. Mother was stunned that her good-for-nothing son has frequently fought alongside someone whose deeds were foretold by the Elder Scrolls.” He swishes the last of the rum in the bottom of his cup.

“Ha, well, I am a little embarrassed, but we absolutely cannot have your mother expecting you to settle down.”

Raz nods. “Raz knows he’ll someday have to tell Mother the truth: unless something goes very, horribly differently than Raz has planned, there will never be kittens, and he is thorough about making sure of this. He chooses duty over all else. He has mostly stopped telling people that this is what truly makes him happiest, because it is rare that anyone believes it.”

I’ve never really thought about it before, but of course, of all people, Razum-dar would have words for something I’ve felt but never articulated. “Yes!” I say, slapping his arm in friendly agreement. “They’ll just tell you that you’ll change your mind when you meet ‘the right one,’ or when you get too old to hold a weapon.” I take a long swig. “Anything is possible, even that, but that’s not what I want for myself.”

Raz nods emphatically. “Ha! This one is glad you understand, five-claw! Of course you do!” He waves his almost-empty cup at me. “Even Ayrenn tells this one that he will slow down and find someone to grow old with. Raz thinks she just doesn’t want him to be alone, as she knows she will be—she will have to marry someone she does not love, almost certainly. But this one? He will never be alone! He has friends all over Tamriel.” He gestures again at me with his cup, nearly spilling what’s left in it. ”And, of course, he has pillow-friends in every city, for when a situation calls for deep friendship."

“Ha, cheers to deep friendship,” I say, lazily but sincerely toasting, barely able to lift my arm.

“Now, you…” Raz continues to point his almost-empty cup at me, “must have pillow-friends on different planes of existence. Raz is envious. You must tell him your secrets sometime.” He finally finishes the last of what’s in his cup, which he emphatically sets down next to him, upside down.

I nod with exaggerated modestly. “Ha, I’m flattered, Razum-dar,” I say curtly, “but if I tell you my secrets, I’ll have competition—“

“—very handsome, charming, cultured, clever competition,” he says, knitting his brow with mock concern. “Hm, yes, Raz deeply sympathizes with your problem. Fine, this one will get to different planes of existence without your help. Eh, except tomorrow, when he needs your help." He reflects a moment. "Ha, if the Psijic we are meeting is somehow not an insufferable stuck-up dweeb, perhaps this one will ask them if they would like to bring Raz to Artaeum for a night, and... stretch out time.”

“… I might know someone in Coldharbour you’d get along with,” I joke, laughing, finishing my cup and likewise smacking it upside down onto the wood of the massive oak tree’s root.

“This one has been there once or twice. Ah, Raz’s vision is blurry, it is like he’s there right now,” he laughs. “Is it by any chance the lovely Bosmer trader near the Hollow City wayshrine?”

I wasn’t actually thinking of anyone; I thought he’d know I was joking. “No, I—“

“Or, oh, the sleek and muscular Argonian blacksmith with the—“ he mimes tall horns.

“I could barely get him to talk to me; perhaps you’d have better luck? But, if you’re into big horns and shapely tails—“

“Not even you could introduce this one to the… sexy… Prince of Schemes.” He can’t finish the sentence without giggling, then breaking into full-on laughter.

“Mm, his voice though,” I say, also laughing. “Hello, handsome—” I say in a very bad impression of the Lord of Brutality and Domination.

“—the… Planemeld… is nigh… if you know what I mean…” Raz says seductively, lowering his voice ridiculously to do an equally bad impression.

We are both very drunk and laughing, wiping tears from our eyes about our not-all-that-funny jokes.

“You’re right, though…” I say, through giggles. “I probably couldn’t introduce you.” I start laughing at my joke before I can even say it. “We’re… not on very good terms right now.”

I’m laughing, Raz is laughing, pretty moons, nice friend, good rum. As I laugh, I lean my head back against the tree, and I realize how tired I am.

I wake up in a leather and hide bed, in an unfamiliar communal inn room, with the moons shining directly into my eyes through the window, and my head spinning. I’m still in my traveling leathers, but my boots are off my feet. The blanket Raz and I were sitting on earlier is wrapped around me, and there’s a large jug of drinking water on the floor next to me. I know for sure I couldn’t have done all that myself. I sit up, chug about a third of the water, and manage to get off most of my leathers before stumbling back into bed, turned away from the moons this time, smiling about a joke I don’t remember.

[painted-bees]

I’m interested in Blood, Lipstick, and Strawberry for everyone! (Especially strawberry after Tess enters their lives)

Raf has no strong feelings either way. He knows he has a nice face and a charismatic personality to go with it. he has a bit of a complicated relationship with all that, but it doesn't occupy a lot of space in his brain--not in any direct manner. He does have a skincare routine that, from Margie's perspective, mostly just looks like part of his shaving routine. But he washes and moisturizes his face in the morning and before bed [and retinol], exfoliates a couple times a week during his showers, and is very particular about his razors, shaving cream, and aftershave products. Raf... really loves maintaining his well established rituals, and skincare is definitely one of them. It gives him a sense of control over his life.

Margie does....uh...none of this. Margie is lucky if she remembers to shower without having to be reminded. She thinks her face is too squat, that her forehead is too high, and that her lips and eyebrows are too thin...also that her eyes are too wide. She gets nervous over her perception that she looks wide-eyed and manic in photos, with her big, broad smile. She used to wear a lot thick, gothy eyeliner and lotsa lip balm on highschool--and then stopped applying makeup completely for years. Nowadays, she'll apply--no--Raf'll appy make-up for live shows and such...and sometimes she'll wear light makeup if she's feeling fancy on a sunny day...but by and large, she's pretty negligent haha

Cortes doesn't have to apply make-up! She can make her face look as dolled up or plain as she wants without external cosmetic supplies..! Also, she's ver content and pleased with her crafted appearance--even if it is kinda a half-assed construction. It does its job!

Raf and Margie are both kinda squeamish, but Raf is a lot more stoic about it. Neither of them are happy to see blood, neither of them want to look at that kind of thing.

I guess the worst either of them have had to deal with in this regard was when Margie sliced herself up real bad on an oyster bed and turned her hands and knees into ground beef for a while. Even after she received her stitches, she couldn't stand to look at them for long. Raf wasn't very comfy with it either, but someone had to keep them clean and dry and well cared for, and Margie couldn't use her hands for much of it--and so he took care of them for her. Squeamishness took the backseat to his desire to make sure she was healthy, clean, and healing up well.

Tess isn't squeamish at all. It's all just meat, and meat is delicious tbh. Nothing gross about any of that.

Margie and Raf are both kind of...Animist lite? agnostic, I suppose, is a good term for it. They understand that there are things beyond their understanding and things there are no answers for, and their spirituality sits in that space unique to each of them. They both perform superstitious rituals of respect to entities they're not fully sure exist in a capacity to appreciate it, and they don't do so consciously most of the time. Raf is more prone to these kinds of things than Margie, though. Margie, at most, will host very one-sided conversations with the wind that shut her bedroom door or such. Raf is prone to leave food and other small offerings out for things...incase those things are hungry. For no reason other than a sneaking suspicion that there is something present who might appreciate the guesture. An impulse on a hunch that he doesn't even really question.

Margie thinks it's very sweet.

Margie has a passive curiosity for things like tarot cards and astrology, but nothing very serious. She'll happily take any manner of good news from these sources, though.

Neither of them were raised by very religious parents. Raf, even less so than Margie. But Raf has had exposure to a lot of other cultural superstitions and such that Margie hadn't been exposed to, and this is perhaps why he takes it just a shade more seriously than she does.

Cortes is acutely aware of what exists and what doesn't. She has never encouraged or deterred the other two from their spiritually motivated mannerisms [or lack thereof].

♡♡♡ yisss thank you for sending these ones!! Q vQ!!!

[toaarcan]

Bold New Moebius is one of my favourite arcs in Archie Sonic, despite me not actually liking its main villain. I guess that's the power of Flynn going "There's an evil version of Tails and he acts like Starscream" and my then-teenage brain going "Oh that's two of my favourite things mashed into one character, I will love him forever."

Yes this is a Miles Stan Account. I have imaginary AMVs in my head about him like you wouldn't believe.

But there's something that bothers me about it: The Suppression Squad's team composition.

In this arc, the Freedom Fighters consist of all six of the classic SatAM crew, plus Amy and Nicole, though Nicole doesn't really do a whole lot. This is the standard FF roster for most of Flynn's run in Archie, it's hard to go wrong with it.

The Suppression Squad, meanwhile, bring Scourge, Fiona, Miles, Alicia, Patch, and Boomer. They have six to the Freedom Fighters' eight.

They don't introduce an Evil Nicole, and while an antiverse version of Amy is introduced in the story, she's not a member of Suppression Squad, she's a random crazy person who wants to both kill and date Scourge and gets in the way a whole lot during the parts of the story that are set on Moebius.

Additionally, Buns is removed from the team as a whole, instead appearing as a morally-questionable ally of Kintobor, because she's sick and Scourge threw her out for being weak.

And I find this weird. Not to say that I dislike the idea of a member of Suppression Squad being basically forced to redeem themselves because they had an r/leopardsatemyface moment, because I don't, I love it. I just think it's weird for two reasons:

They don't need to "Make room" for Fiona on the Suppression Squad, because the FF also have additional members besides the originals. Buns can still be there without throwing the numbers off.

If they're going to remove one of the Suppression Squad's original roster from the board... why is it Buns that goes, and not Alicia?

Think about it: Besides Scourge himself, Alicia is the nominal leader of the team. She's the one that Scourge worked with when he originally plunged Moebius into chaos at the end of the Great Peace, by killing Anti-Jules and banishing Maxx to the Void. She's the one that kicked him out of the Squad with the aid of Jeff. Why the hell would he keep her around?

She's also pretty redundant as a Squad member in this arc, because Fiona is here.

I've said before that I think that Archie viewed Fiona more as a Sally Clone than as her own character, and this gets infinitely worse in Flynn's run, where most of her own (very undercooked) personality traits are largely abandoned in favour of having her shackled permanently to the evil version of Sally's boyfriend, and doing the same things that Sally does, but evilly.

And it's this arc where this becomes really obvious that Fiona is just Evil Sally now, because she's on a team with a character who literally used to be called Evil Sally. Alicia mostly stands around and does nothing because Fiona's the one beefing with her counterpart, right up until the point where the two sides team up, wherein Fiona is hurriedly ushered out of the plot and Alicia returns to her normal place as Sally's opposite number.

So... why not keep Buns and have Alicia be the one to get kicked out and forced to turn to Kintobor? She can still play the role that Alicia did in the final chapters of the arc by simply linking up with the two teams when they arrive on Moebius, after all.

Now, I can see the point being raised that it was Buns that got sick with NIDS. But that plot point is something they introduced in this arc. They can just have Alicia get sick instead. She was last seen before this arc falling into a pit full of poisonous robots, after all. Or they can just skip that aspect and have her get kicked out because Scourge is petty and vengeful and doesn't want her around.

This confusion doesn't ruin the story for me or anything, I still think it's a good one, but it does still somewhat baffle me.

[bisluthq]

You think Taylor is taking sides (presumably Sabrina’s) in this whole mess or staying out of it? Funny thing is she was on Gracie’s song where she talks about being jealous over Sabrina with Dylan lmao but seems to be very supportive of and friends with both, obviously both tour openers. But she’s been friends/friendly with Camila for a long time since she opened for rep tour along with Shawn Mendes and Charli XCX 😭 and Shawn and Camila were at eras, and Camila brings her up all the time probs mostly for attention. I feel like she doesn’t take sides unless she has other reason for beef with the other involved like with Olivia and Sabrina perhaps, and is down to hate men on others behalf like Shawn or Dylan O’Brien. But I could see her listening to Gracie and Sabrina talk about Dylan and the other girl, and to Sabrina and Camila talk about Shawn and each other, and just being like “yess I totally understand how u feel I fully support you and your perspective is 100% correct” to each lol

yea I really get the sense that she doesn’t take sides beyond hating on the guys with the girls and I think she’s perfectly capable of being friends with multiple people who don’t all necessarily like one another. She was able to stay friends with both Lena and Jack and Ella so if she navigated that I somehow doubt she’d struggle in this mess.

She does seem to perhaps have a problem with DOB but my guess there would be because she doesn’t see his perspective and she finds it ironic and gross that he acted like Jake after playing Jake. “Fuck the patriarchy”, keychain on the ground vibes making her 🙄🙄 lol. But that’s a specific situation like if he’d been involved with a friend or two of hers but not acted THAT way, I doubt she’d be bovvered. Ed for instance worked his way through a lot of her friend group when he was single and she wasn’t cross with him about it idkkkk.

Also I still don’t believe she has a full on issue with Olivia like beyond business wise she wanted money from a fellow #1 artist who was using her name for promo. She got competitive (which isn’t a problem) and she wanted money (which was her prerogative) and I think as jarring as that was for Olivia like… such is life.

Anyway, I think Taylor is a good friend and is friends with multiple people and tends to take the girl’s side in romantic dramas but also has male friends she sticks with and I don’t think she’s an evil bitter bitch lmao.

[venus-is-thinking]

Disventure Camp All Stars Power Ranking (Round 17 - Venus)

Recap: Grett's Elimination (1/5 pts)

(Total: 20/34 points acquired)

Sighhhh.

I want to disclaim this by saying that I don't think getting rid of Grett here was bad or unreasonable by the writers. I personally expected they'd spend more time setting up her downfall, but eh, I can't always be right.

I'm just salty because I've previously mentioned to @accirax that I try to do these power rankings solely on meta reads rather than on how I think the votes will play out, because I find the meta to be a better source of guidance. I then put Grett first because of how I thought the votes would play out. L for me.

So, no more vote reading! There's only like 4 of those anyways! Enjoy my purely meta-reading power ranking!

(Damn, I guess this is the last vote out. Wild.)

1: Jake

All meta, baby! Jake is winning this season!

Okay, but real talk, Jake is now the ONLY season 1 player left. I really don't think they're going to let the final 3 be entirely season 2, which means Jake SHOULD be a lock for the finale, making him safe from this vote.

I also just can't shake Jake's insane winner energy. Everything he does makes him make sense as the eventual winner. Even his earlier fuck-ups, like voting out James on paranoia, are just part of the arc. I really can't see Jake going out here.

The ONLY thing I think could put him in danger is if the writers want him to be in the losers' motel episode. Notably, whoever is eliminated this episode will be the last one making it there. I could see the appeal of Tom and Jake talking it out there, but... eh. Feels more like a "save it for the finale" type of thing to me. After all, the season 1 finale is where they made up and promised to move forwards last time. It'd be a nice parallel to do it again.

2: Ally

Ally just makes way too much sense to me as a finalist to go out here. I could see wanting to put Ally in the losers' motel to talk it out with Tess and Hunter, but honestly, I hope they don't. That is, I hope we get a chance for Tess and Hunter to talk without Ally. We've heard a whole lot from Ally on her perspective on the problems in her and Hunter's relationship, but I'd like to know more about Hunter's perspective and where he stands. I think getting some time with him apart from Ally could be a good way to show us both sides of the situation before they resolve anything in the finale.

Plus, Jake vs. Ally for the final 2 seems really likely. They've been beefing, like, all season, and it hasn't really come to a head yet. It didn't play out last episode as a reason that either of them got eliminated; they were both able to see Grett as a threat and take her out. That means that, though they both hate each other, they're focused on winning. What better way to resolve their feud than by making them fight it out for the victory at the very end?

Finally, I don't really think the writers want the finale to be 2/3 Connor and Riya. The Connor/Riya drama (+ Alec) has been a pretty central part of the season, but there's been a lot of other stuff going on as well. I guess the same case could be made of Ally and Jake, but that's because the Jake plotline was a lot more all-encompassing. We've already cut Miriam, Fiore, Ellie, Ashley, Tom AND Aiden as characters that Jake has been connected to, including some who at one point had an antagonistic relationship with him. The Connor/Riya/Alec plotline was really just Connor, Riya and Alec. So, it's fine if 2/3 people have been involved in Jake feuds, because it represents a larger portion of the cast, if that makes sense.

Plus, like I've said before, I feel like some people kinda NEED to be on Ally's bench. It just makes sense that way.

3: Connor

Connor is in a weird place, because he really SHOULDN'T win now that his leg is injured. In-universe, at least.

Like, we see him literally like hopping on one leg in the trailer. He CAN'T win challenges. It's a move by the writers where I really hope he won't be the winner overall, just because it'd feel very... contrived, I guess? Like, at that point, why sprain his ankle in the first place?

I do think Connor has good odds at final 3, though. The main thing going for him is that he's literally sworn several times he'll beat Riya, and, uh, if he's gonna do that, he has to make final 3 minimum at this point. Riya's still here.

My personal theory is that Connor might have to fight Riya in a tiebreaker 1v1 and manage to beat her. That'd give a clean reason for why Riya could be the boot, and it'd let Connor be the one to personally best her. It'd also give Connor a direct win, so that if he loses in the finale (likely at the final 3 point), it doesn't feel like he came up super short of his goals.

However, the thing I said about needing to get rid of Connor OR Riya still holds true for him, and I do think there's some merit to Connor talking to Alec in the losers' motel. However, it may not be as much merit as

4: Riya

I think Riya NEEDS a chance to talk to someone with the cameras off. The losers' motel is the perfect way to do that.

Plus, I think it'd be interesting to see Riya and Alec interact again, especially after last episode. I certainly think Alec would have some opinions on Riya tossing Connor aside after possibly permanently paralyzing him, considering Alec was already talking about how much Connor loves her. I think it'd be interesting for Alec, getting to see a dysfunctional relationship from the outside, and interesting for Riya, seeing someone who once wasn't too bothered by her villainy tell her that she took it too far.

Riya has also been girlbossing too close to the sun for WAY too long. I think the writers know that they need to call it a wrap on Riya sometime soon. Notably, I know that Accirax predicted Ellie to go out for 2 episodes prior to where she actually went out. The same thing happened to her with Yul. The same thing happened to me with Aiden. We've both predicted Riya to go out for two episodes already; it might be that the third time's the charm. I'm not entirely sure why we always read the writing on the wall two episodes early, but it certainly wouldn't be the first time.

Finally, it's been said a million times, but Riya's already been a finalist. When there are 6/18 previous finalists in the cast, I guess it's reasonable to think one of the three finalists could be a previous finalist, but from a writing standpoint, I feel like they'd want to diversify. Besides, it's SO obvious that Riya can't win the season at this point. Like, narratively, there's no way. Even if I'm 100% locked in for Jake winner pick, I think it's plausible that Ally or Connor COULD win. Certainly more plausible than Riya, at least.

I'm personally really glad that Riya has had such a chance to shine in All Stars. I think her showing here was MUCH stronger than in Season 2, even if you only count her performance from final 6 onwards. However, I do think it's time to wrap up her in-game antics and let her process everything from the privacy of the losers' motel.

[jacksgreysays]

Assassin's Creed x Dreaming of Sunshine brainstorm/fake fic summaries/spring cleaning (2023-03-18)

Back when I was in the throes of my Could/Should/Actually phase, I was also reading a lot of esama’s Assassin’s Creed fic and my brain, as per usual, went: but what if DoS? And so it started churning different types of crossovers which I lightly noted down but never pursued. I then ran into chamiryokuroi’s art, specifically that of Desmond’s son Elijah, who kind of has the memories/personality of an Isu in him. THEN those earlier notes that were percolating in my head then scrambled a bit because instead of separate AUs, my brain just smooshed them all together and then also brought up the critical point that was stopping me earlier:

In an Assassin’s Creed AU/crossover, the nearest equivalent to Desmond—genetically crafted by the Isu (who humans know as gods, aka Minerva, Juno, etc) in order to be at the right place at the right time—isn’t Shikako or even Naruto, but Sasuke. Especially going with wafflelate’s idea that the different Mangekyo Sharingan powers (also named after gods!) are indicative of different Uchiha lineages with a slight extrapolation that multiple lineages merging earlier on is why Sasuke (and Itachi) has so many different Sharingan powers. Oh, also, Desmond has something called the Eagle Eye which basically gives him psychic powers like the Sharingan.

Although, speaking of Itachi. I guess what I should have said is that the nearest equivalent to Desmond is actually Itachi—the perfect son who has all the tools and all the abilities and all the expectations of the world—while Sasuke is the spare, aka Clay (who had some of the lineages that the bad guys wanted but not all of them and not as much). Although, you know, not as bleak a future… And that’s about as much as I know of Assassin’s Creed because like many things, I mostly know it through fanfiction, fanart, and watching my friend play ACIII nearly a decade ago.

Anyways, with that in mind. My brain continued that since I wanted both sets of characters to exist as opposed to shoving Team Seven into the AC plot, that I should figure out what Team Seven was doing while the AC plot is going on since, you know, the sun burning up the planet is a pretty big deal. So obviously the sun is a problem, but presumably Minerva via Desmond had that covered. Either they fail and everyone’s dead anyway, or they succeed but there’s other stuff that needs to be considered. Such as: THE MOOOOOOOOOOON. But in all seriousness, I don’t super know how it would work, but even if Minerva via Desmond protects the planet from the initial massive solar flare, wouldn’t there be lingering excess energy or a secondary blast/wave reflected off the moon? I don’t know enough about pseudo science to know if my pseudo science makes sense.

Regardless. Excess energy or secondary wave on the side of the planet that has the moon, aka, Japan in the middle of the night (since I think the solar flare happened in the morning in New York?) And it’s pretty thematic, for Naruto canon at least, that the moon is the problem (whether or not we want to bring up Kaguya’s alien nonsense… although that is a pretty good equivalent for Juno’s evil in the AC side)

Anyway, the reason why chamiryokuroi’s art reinitiated this brainstorm is that, hey, obviously I love when Shikako is an OP almost literal deus ex machina. And Elijah almost literally has a “god” in him. Which Shikako also has had, or maybe the reverse, what with Gelel. And then whatever her beef with Jashin is. So either the Isu that Shikako has is Gelel (which is much kinder and benign that who Elijah is stuck with) or it’s “Shikabane-hime” and the personality sort of… glitched so that instead of taking over the body, muahahaha, style it just grew up as a person as in DoS. Although I’m a little handwaving how AC Sages work since apparently that relies on lineages/genetics (even though it somehow skipped Desmond but Elijah is one?) So either Shikako is an “artificial” Sage via picking up the Gelel stone or she’s a “natural” Sage and Shikabane-hime is just a chill Isu instead of the other muahahahaha evil Isu.

Then, to make Naruto match, what if, instead of Pieces of Eden (alien technology that seems like magic) the Isu on this hemisphere went with the bijuu? Maybe they were originally created to absorb the excess solar energy but over the millennia developed sentience. Or maybe they always had sentience which is what caused the Sage of Six Paths to rebel against the other gods (and also the human slavery en masse might have contributed) and while the bijuu remember the early days humans with their ever short lives forgot and so the bijuu grew bitter and resentful etc. etc.

So that’s the world building.

The plot of this fic I’m probably not going to write is actually my way of combining the three different AUs I thought of for the Could/Should/Actually and incorporating it into the above world building:

Subject Seven, like many of Desmond’s predecessors, died before they could ever meet. Whatever she learned in the Animus she never told Vidic or, at least, it never made it onto any Abstergo files.

STAY CALM. DON’T REACT. Desmond can’t tell if this is a new twist to the Bleeding Effect or if he’s unlocked something else in his Eagle Vision, but now he’s reading the shadows on the walls and that can’t be normal.

“Juno, huh,” says the girl in green, the only spot of color in the vast expanse of The Grey. “I had Jashin.”

Obviously, the way to fix 1 is simply Shikako faked her death and escaped. Or even Abstergo’s internal communications between departments is garbage and the team that was working on Sages just up and yoinked her from the Animus project. And also, what’s kinda fun about this (in a horrifying people being experimented on against their will kind of way) is that in order for Shikako to be Subject Seven while Desmond is Subject Seventeen and not have her be so much older than him (or even so much older than what I'm used to seeing her as in DoS, although this coming from me who writes future fic, lol) that means she was very young when she was Subject Seven. So we could have canonically badass twelve-fourteen year old Shikako in this seemingly normal world and then she has a full decade of being badass in time to help with Desmond’s side.

Although, in order to best incorporate 2 and 3, what an author who is not me could imply is that she died for realsies and ended up in The Grey (which from my understanding is like the coding space behind the world where Calculations aka sealing is done and might also be the afterlife but perhaps is only the afterlife specifically for Juno who hid herself in technology so that she could pop out millennia after all the other Isu had died and fuck with humanity). And from the Grey she can manipulate shadows, as in 2, and also meet Desmond “in person” as in 3 when he dies after the planet saving thing he does in AC canon.

And then the fun reveal is that, hey, The Grey isn’t actually an afterlife. It’s a pocket dimension from where you can manipulate the real world through strength of will. I’m not dead and neither are you, also would you like to meet my friends I feel like they could probably help you deal with the fact that your entire existence was a manipulation by beings that died over 75000 years ago because they have similar experiences. Would I have more relevant/similar experiences having been an Animus subject and having been in The Grey? Maybe, but I also contain the personality/memories of an Isu and I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

Anyway, here’s also the following:

[Some kind of cool title playing off of Dreams and Sunshine that also applies to Assassin's Creed, maybe something like Of Disasters and Daydreams?]

Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted is one way to interpret the creed. A more accurate way would be to say Nothing is Immutable, Everything is Possible, but that’s just not as catchy. Or, the Isu had their Calculations, but Shikako has sealing and that’s way more fun.

[daeva-agas]

Aaah, so there's this NHK program where it's like "the Nobubrat that you thought was dumb is actually smart though". It's something I would've wanted to watch, but I don't have NHK (and I don't know how to rent/buy/access the episode it "on demand").

Thankfully some guy provided a rather detailed summary of the program's content. Basically there were letter artefacts that indicate that Hideyoshi did view Nobukatsu with highest respect, and his tactics in Komaki-Nagakute was actually good.

As much as I like this interpretation, without seeing what the actual artefacts and how things work I can't judge for myself whether it's all forced and crock, or if it has merit.

Like, there's this part where they said he "consolidated his territory(?)" by focusing on pacifying the Iga riots or something. Which, based on my own reading of what little text I have access to, doesn't feel like it. It seems to me he wasn't confident that he could put up a stand if he entered Azuchi, and just turned back and left.

But there's still missing details that I don't have, like whether he even moved out to Azuchi at all, or if he never even headed there, and just focused on Iga right away.

Anyway, the Shizugatake circumstances is important. If as of Shizugatake Hideyoshi is still acting respectful, even if he's just pretending that could mean that the big dramatic seppuku Nobutaka did was false.

Like, that had always sounded absurd to me. Even if people can and will do crazy things in legitimate records, I always cautiously assume outlandish stories to be false first. Edo era stories tend to be super crazy and then turn out to be false, so I don't trust crazy stories now.

They're fun to tell on a fictional basis (for spice in otome/other Sengoku fiction), but for history it's just bunk.

Like, maybe it's just a respectable seppuku and Nobutaka is like "ah damn, my brother defeated me, I guess" and there's no dramatic tantrum of throwing bloody guts at the wall.

That, and that also means Nobukatsu bringing down the order of death on his brother was his own prerogative as the "leader", and not because he's Hideyoshi's underling.

The Komaki-Nagakute one is also something I really want to see the paper trails/maps for, because typically this was seen as "Ieyasu's battle", and I really want to know how the army movements went. Even when some of those annoying pop infotainment article acknowledge that Nobukatsu was the figurehead, they still claim Ieyasu did a lot of the work.

Also, this program mentioned that both Ieyasu and Nobukatsu were in accordance to want to negotiate peace with Hideyoshi. That would explain why Ieyasu wasn't pissed that Nobukatsu randomly just went "Nope, I'm done" and made peace instead of pushing ahead for victory. The reason the program said why Ieyasu and Hideyoshi still has beef afterwards is because the Tokugawa side of the negotiations failed, while Hideyoshi's agreement with Nobukatsu went through just fine. I need more info about this, because like... what happened???

I really want the details for why there's peace treaty. Wikipedia has been updated to now say that Hideyoshi was too strong, sacked too many of the castles, so both Nobukatsu and Ieyasu thought it was a lost cause and agreed to try to negotiate for peace.

Also, apparently Hideyoshi was already offered the post of shogun shortly after Komaki Nagakute but he said no, WTF.

I'm even more confused now honestly, but hopefully more info will come out and people will finally stop treating Komaki Nagakute like a Hideyoshi vs Ieyasu battle.

[followthestarpath]

My beef with every organized religion

This might seem blasphemous but honestly it's just my observations and if that makes me a heretic, then so be it. I still believe in God. I guess it's just in a different light.

Christianity

Well I was actually baptized when I was 8 and attended church regularly but I was always secretly agnostic. It didn't make sense to me how so many things in the Bible contradicted what we were learning in school. (I think I blame Santa for jumpstarting my urge to question everything).

When I went away to college and went through my own self discovery, only then did I feel comfortable enough to reveal my agnosticism. The first person I ever told was a Muslim and his response was that I have to believe in something or else I'll go to hell. Safe to say, I went back to keeping it secret.

Since the beginning of mankind. We have used religion to justify colonialism and Genocide. If Jesus and his followers happened in one side of the world, how would people on the other side know? If it's your job to spread the good word of The Lord, then why would you slaughter people who have never heard of Him? How could they by anything other than heathens if you don't even get them the option.

Also I can't handle the circular reasoning. Where does it say you can't be gay? Ok, well who wrote that down? Where's the proof? Oh okay. If we ever get time travel, I will bet a million pesos that Peter, Paul, and whoever were buttfucking each other in an orgy.

In Matthews when Judas betrayed Jesus, he kissed him to reveal his identity to the angry mob. To which Jesus replied, "Friend, why have you come?" which to me does not sound like something someone would say if their friend kissed them for the first time.

Why does it say it's wrong to get information from the stars? Cause it's witchcraft? Oh okay, well why is that bad? Cause the book says so? But how did the three Wiseman know Jesus was born?

Astrology was started by royal astronomers hundreds of years before the common era and they were pretty much one in the same. It wasn't until Constantine legalized Christianity in 313 AD that it became taboo.

The Book also talks about slavery and it doesn't condemn the philosophy of it at all. It's right there in the The Ten Commandments. Everyone knows, "thou shall not kill", "though shall not steal" and maybe a couple more but what about the rest? You don't just get to pick and choose which parts to listen to.

(Fuck, why is this so long? )

My point is that if I blindly follow someone's advice on how to navigate the world from two millennia ago, that would be dangerous in any field. And I also think that if a stranger said not to listen to anyone else but them and follow them to live for eternity, I would think they were a super villian.

If your truth is so Supreme, then there shouldn't be anything against exploring other options because they would come back every time. Or does God think we're all idiots that would get lost if no one was there to guide us?

If I wrote a paper in college and my sources were from even 50 years ago, the whole paper wouldn't be credible. So how did we all choose to follow this book with no amendments ever?

And is Catholicism so big that the Vatican needs to be considered its own country? That's gotta be gluttony or pride or something.

Judaism

My main critique is that anytime someone mentions that Jews control the world, they immediately get canceled and labeled as antisemitic. But I don't understand why that is taken as such an insult. And the fact that it goes down like that makes the claim seem that much more accurate. Have you seen that documentary Three Identical Strangers? All I'm saying is that they came off real shady.

Not to get too political, but during the current situation in Gaza, Israel is seeming to play both, victim and abuser.

Islam, Buddhism, Christianity (again)

My perception of a lot of religious stuff is that someone found one way to do something, wrote it down, and somewhere along the line, it became the only way. Because Muhammad thought pigs were dirty, people shouldn't eat pork? Because Buddha didn't do drugs that means that no one should else should try them. Jesus turned the other cheek so I'm not supposed to defend myself against enemies? Spoiler alert: that did not end up being well for him. I'm all for peace and love but at no point in time will I ever not fight back against people attempting to nail me to a cross.

Atheism

I never meshed well with nonbelievers who only care for what science says. We used to believe the earth was flat, you could fly to the sun, and that flies were born from rotten meat. There's a reason why the Big Bang and gravity are still considered theories.

Paganism adjusts and upgrades frequently. Back when tarot was developed thousands of years ago, the major arcana was proposed as 22 cards represented by the 12 zodiac signs and 10 luminaries. Even though we had not discovered 10 luminaries yet. Uranus wasn't discovered until 1781, Pluto in 1930!

Astrology updates with the times the birth chart house associated with work used to represent slaves and the house associated with friends and community now includes social media. When the outer planets were discovered, they filled in the missing spots and made everything more even. It's kind of like when the Texans joined the NFL.

So what I do enjoy about science is that it is constantly reviewing information and reconsidering the truth. So now we know for sure that the earth is super round, the sun is hecka far away, and that flies are flipping disgusting. That is something that none of the big three seem to be open to (and even four if you wanna count Buddhism)

Mattafack...

Buddhism (again)

For a long time, I thought my ideals aligned with Buddhism. Cause I'm all about peace, meditation, and being one with nature. I really appreciate the idea of reaching Nirvana as a goal but their actual ultimate goal is to ascend past samsara and basically erase yourself from the ether. You aren't supposed to desire anything and should never be upset cause that's poison for your spirit. That is the only way to beat suffering but I feel like that's like chopping off your hand cause you can't stop sucking your thumb. I much prefer Shintoism because it simply just is and that's it. And maybe even Hinduism? I'll dig more into those.

Jehovah's Witnesses

Growing up, I never understood why Jehovah's Witnesses weren't allowed to celebrate holidays. After researching, the best answer I could find is because they contribute most of them to paganism paired with the belief that celebrations displease God.

Now I really appreciate them not pretending that there isn't a direct correlation of Christmas to Saturnalia and Easter to Ēostre (which is why the date is so dependent upon the equinox and full moon and why there is a rabbit that lays eggs) but to dwindle down birthdays as paganism just seems like a reach. Sure the pagans kept track of the sun but if that’s your thinking then you might as well ignore the whole Gregorian calendar.

There are some good points like refusing to join the military and pleging aligience to flags cause fuck war and nationalism but everything else just seems so stiff. My personal philosophy is to celebrate as much as possible. Shoot, one of my resolutions is to celebrate more small victories. So if that sends me to hell then so be it, I won't have any regrets.

Anyway shuning people for not living in your same truth, restricting simple pleasures, and trying to convince strangers in book stores that they need to conform to your ideals if they want to live forever seems like a pyramid scheme wrapped in a cult. So it's a no from me.

Speaking of cults...

Latter Day Saints

Mormons, oh boy. Seems like a ploy to just have a bunch of wives and sex. If there is a greater goal than that, I can't tell. Not for me.

and of course,

Scientology

I bet you could make up some random conspiracy like "scientology planned 9/11" and it would probably hold some validity. I already gave my views on science and my communist ideologies just won't even let me think about this too long.

Amish

Not a cult but I honestly don't get it. I googled "why don't Amish use technology" and it came up with an FAQ from the Amish community website so then I was even more confused.

Everyone and everyone else

This sentiment goes across most religions for me: if having fun is a sin and the only way to reach salvation is to eliminate them all when I go to heaven, will I have fun then? Or will it be the same restrictions? I gotta chew on that one for awhile.

[whumpster-fire]

All right, Dread Lord K'Thyzyxathrax, Archlich, here.

The thing with Necromancy is that technically it overlaps with other fields of magic, and can create similar effects, but the reason it's treated as a separate discipline is because of all the devils in the details of how it's practiced (sometimes literally). I know the popular meme is "necromancy is actually the same as healing magic, it's just the name for all the cool spells your teachers don't let you read," but it's a bit more complicated than that.

Necromancy is two types of magic in one. The first type deals with manipulating life force, yeah, and life magic does the same thing. That includes healing magic, and all that hippie gardening bullshit that druids and nature mages do. Technically a lot of magic works with it in some way. Necromancy also includes directly manipulating souls or spirits, which again, other magic messes with a bit too, but you have to go into kinda specialized stuff.

The difference is, what I'll broadly call "life magic" interacts with organisms that are already alive, which means there's a soul there to work with, and you can do things like heal wounds or make plants grow faster by feeding more energy in. And directing it a bit so you don't give someone cancer I guess. Necromancy deals with dead organisms. Dead bodies, and dead living tissue, are full of residual life energy that stays in the body after the soul leaves, but the metaphysical phase changes that happen after death make it respond differently to magic. You probably know this already: you can't siphon power off a steak, throwing healing spells at it won't get you a cow, or even turn it into a whole side of beef, and if you work with animating magic at all you know the residual life energy interferes with it because the material is still imprinted on its original soul. With plants and fungi the effect's way weaker, and if you use parts of an animal that naturally die while it's still alive it's still pretty minor. You can get away with animating wood, or textiles made of plants, and stuff like wool, hair, antlers, and so on's doable, but something like bone or leather, even if you can get an animation spell to stick it'll never be as stable.

Necromancy, on the other hand, actively uses that residual life energy to fuel spells, and basic reanimation works by kind of patterning a driving spirit off the impression left by the original. But we work with a whole opposite polarity of life energy - false life, unlife, whatever you wanna call it - that most mages hardly ever touch other than learning how to get rid of it. Why? Because it's inherently destructive to living things, and so are the forces you have to use to properly control it. The only reason Necromancers don't have the shortest life expectancy of any magical discipline is because summoners exist, and we take the prize for lowest average finger count. Ahead of fucking pyromancers. If you practice Necromancy at a high level for long enough, it's not a matter of if the forces you're meddling with will kill you but when. It's like smoking if cigarettes were made of Polonium. Bad necromancers die fast, good necromancers die slowly, great necromancers do the same, but not before accumulating enough power and knowledge that death is just the beginning.

The other half of necromancy is directly manipulating souls, both living and dead. You can siphon energy off of living creatures whether they want you to or not, you can bind a soul or driving spirit to a body, or unbind one. You can trap a soul on this side of the veil... and you can pull one back from the other side. Which means that yes, resurrection magic is technically necromancy. But it's also life magic. If you've got a dead guy, life magic alone will get you a dead guy, and maybe grow some pretty flowers on his grave. Necromancy alone can make his corpse move again, and keep moving for way, way longer than it would if you actually brought him back to life. It can also bring his soul back in some condition, but the soul changes when it crosses over, so the easiest thing to do's to attach it back to the body with the spiritual equivalent of duct tape and staples and call it a day. Which is pretty badass, and that's why Necromancy is cooler. Doing a full res needs both extremely powerful necromancy and extremely powerful life magic, and it's one of the hardest magical feats out there. Yeah there are people who can do it, but by the time you get good enough there are a dozen way more efficient ways of cheating mortality.

So doesn't This mean that you can go to a dead and withering forest with no life in it and bring your opponent there, and just revive the forest to serve you and control it to defeat your enemies? Doesn't this technically make you sort of like druids?

Sort of. Nature magic isn't my scene, but the way I understand it, druids don't bring dead plants back to life: they take advantage of the fact that plants are really goddamn hard to fully kill. Like I said, real resurrection is hard. A dead, withering forest usually still has plants with bits of their root systems that are still alive under the soil, or dormant seeds in the ground. Pump enough energy into those and they'll grow, and since they're living plants they can be animated. They can consume the dead plant matter at super speed too. Then the druid can leave, turn off the magic, and what's left will turn into a living forest again. Usually plants that are forced to grow super fast with magic end up dying, but they go to seed, rot, turn into mulch and fertilizer for new plants, all that circle of life shit. Using necromancy on a dead forest makes undead plants, which to borrow a phrase from my HOA are a "blight upon the landscape." They'll grow bigger, but remain dead and withering. For example, see the grounds of my Fortress Of Terror. Or the yard of my neighbor Cynthia, who will not stop complaining even though she fucking moved next door to a necromancer's castle. No I will not fucking pay to have your lawn exorcised. Keep whining and I might just revisit the "Zombie Kudzu" concept.

What about oil? Oil is liquefied corpses, so you technically can reanimate it to become sort of a slime amalgamation thingy servent, or would it be hard to control since it's actually like hundreds of corpses with their own consciousness melted together,is it even possible?

Well, no. If you destroy formerly living tissue completely and render it down to raw chemicals, that drives off the residual life energy that necromancers work with. Especially after millions of years of it leeching away into the earth. It's the same reason you can't reanimate fossils. They're not bone anymore, they're rock shaped like a bone. For magical purposes, it's like trying to animate a statue that was cast from plaster mold cast from a corpse. Plus oil is mostly algae anyway, so there was never much of a consciousness in the first place. If you want a slimy undead amalgamation, just throw a few dozen corpses in the "liquefaction" stage of decomposition in a big cauldron and use a deboning spell (don't throw out the bones: they're useful for other projects).

Amalgamations are hard to control, yes. Unless you bind a pretty powerful spirit into them they're not rebellious, it's the opposite problem: they have no will other than a drive to feed and expand themselves, which includes trying to absorb weaker undead. You can't just give them orders. The best way of controlling them I've found is commanding some zombies or skeletons to walk just ahead of them so the amalgamation follows them. But don't use the fleshy ones to patrol a dungeon: they leave a trail of rot, and it's a total pain in the coccyx to have to mop the floors all the time. Skeletal amalgamations make decent guardians, slimy flesh ones are best set loose on mortals and made someone else's problem.

(the above commentary reflects the opinions of the character responding, and not necessarily the author)

Genuine question to all necromancers

So I didn't study necromancy when I was in wizard college because I have a certain dislike to the dark arts but it was interesting enough that I've taken one class of it and read a little about it in a book

So what I understand is that you have the powers to reanimate and revive the dead to serve you and you can reanimate anything dead, right?

And plants die, right?

So doesn't This mean that you can go to a dead and withering forest with no life in it and bring your opponent there, and just revive the forest to serve you and control it to defeat your enemies?

Doesn't this technically make you sort of like druids?

What about oil? Oil is liquefied corpses, so you technically can reanimate it to become sort of a slime amalgamation thingy servent, or would it be hard to control since it's actually like hundreds of corpses with their own consciousness melted together,is it even possible?

[fizzyxcustard]

Ultimatum (4)

Masterlist of fan fiction

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Fandom: Robin Hood (BBC)

Pairings: Guy of Gisborne x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Lots of angst. 

Summary: You and Guy discuss your feelings for each other, and act on those feelings. However, you know that Guy can be a better man and can’t stand by to watch him fall into a pit of atrocity while serving under the Sheriff. Will Guy choose you or Sheriff Vaisey? 

Comments/Notes: If you wish to be tagged in any of my tag lists for fics or characters, please let me know, and stipulate what you want to be tagged in.  People who do not interact with my fics (even if just a ‘like’) after a month or two will be taken off my list. You can probably already see that my tag list has now shortened by about half; please, please if you want to be on my tag list at least show some interest, or if you lose interest, just ask to be taken off. 

I’ve also changed the plot a little. Marian never died, but instead has gone on the run with Robin.

A week later and you had successfully found work. Henry, a kind old farmer had agreed to your payment: access to a bed in his spare room and two bronze coins per week. It was more than enough to maintain a decent lifestyle until you could move on to better work. 

“You ain’t from around here?” he had asked immediately, leaning his elbow on the fence which surrounded his goats. 

“No, I’ve come from Nottingham. Felt it best to move away, see if I can make a bit of money elsewhere,” you said, offering a sad smile. 

On the seventh night that you had been at Henry’s small, humble home, you sat opposite him, tucking into beef stew. He was watching you. Tired, yet quizzical eyes studied you from under a pair of grey, bushy eyebrows. 

“You’re running from something, girl,” he said suddenly, then opened his mouth wide and took a large mouthful of steaming stew. “Unrequited love, maybe? Some kind of lost love anyway.” 

You raised an eyebrow and then looked down at your stew, stirring the meat and carrots among the gravy. “How did you guess?” 

“There’s a sadness in your eyes. It’s a sadness that we all get when we’ve lost someone we love. The fact you’ve left Nottingham means that it’s more than likely a man. I’m guessing someone of standing.” 

“I’d rather not talk about it, Henry, if you don’t mind.”

Henry didn’t bring the subject up again, but he remained watchful over you. He saw you write letters during the evening hours and then burn them on the main fire. No doubt they were undelivered letters to this lover of yours. 

***

Another visitor appeared in the village but a fortnight after your appearance. Henry noticed that this stranger had been asking around for a young woman who had stopped there. The visitor was dressed in dark garb, and kept his head lowered.

You decided to go out and meet this mysterious man. Your heart was racing as you hoped with everything inside you that it was Guy. Had he finally come to be with you? 

The morning was bright and mild as you stepped out. The man was at the house just a couple of hundred yards up from Henry’s residence. You hurried towards him, feeling the anxiety gather in your chest. Was it him? 

The man turned. Your heart sank as you looked upon him. “Abe?” you asked, eyes wide. “What are you doing here?” 

“Looking for you,” he replied, looking relieved. “Both your father and Gisborne have been looking for you. But it was Gisborne who officially sent me to get you to come back.”

“Does my father know the reason why I left?” you asked, sighing. 

“I had a good idea why you left, but your father is still none the wiser. Gisborne is too much of a coward to admit to your father that he’s the reason you left. He played along with your father, pretending to not know.” 

A tear dripped down your cheek. “He won’t leave Nottingham, and the Sheriff’s side. Why?” Your words came out as a hiss and you balled your hand into a fist. “I thought he loved me.” 

“Gisborne is a mystery no one will solve in a hurry,” Abe replied sadly. “He’s paid me to take you back, but I’m not going to force you. What you choose to do is up to you.” 

“Typical Guy.” 

“He hasn’t been the same since you left, you know? He’s more of a recluse, barely speaks. And for some reason keeps demanding apples from the kitchen, which I believe is something to do with you.” Abe chuckled and nudged you. “The man isn’t completely heartless as we’ve all believed.” 

“I don’t think anyone ever truly is, Abe. Will you come and join me and Henry for lunch?” 

As soon as Henry heard Guy’s name mentioned, he raised an eyebrow and looked at you in shock. “Gisborne? Guy of Gisborne? He’s the one you’re running from?” 

“Yes,” you replied with a sigh. 

Abe reached across and took another apple from the bowl of fruit that had been set on the table. Around it were some freshly cut pieces of meat, butter that had been churned only the day before, and bread that was almost straight from the oven.

Henry stared at you for a few seconds. “That name is known throughout the country, and not for good things. How did you become caught up with the likes of him?” 

“Believe it or not, Guy can be a good man,” you said. “I think it takes someone who is patient to really break through his icy demeanour and gleam what’s underneath. Getting to know Guy certainly didn’t come overnight.” 

Henry propped his elbows on the table. “Love, why are you wasting your time on a scoundrel like him? Money and power are the only things on Gisborne’s mind. We all know that. For the time I’ve known you, you seem like a really good woman, and I’d hate to see him take advantage of that.” 

Abe spoke up. “I do believe he feels something for her. How deep that runs, I don’t know and wouldn’t want to speculate. He’s paid me to take her back.” 

Henry scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Can’t even come himself, but has to send someone else to do his dirty work. Seriously, you’re better off without someone like him in your life.” 

Frustration hit you suddenly. “And you’re so perfect are you, Henry? So perfect that you’ve never associated with anyone who is below worthy to be called a paragon of virtue?” You shoved the wooden stool from the table, it screeching across the floor, and you stormed out into the mid-day sun. 

“Women, eh?” Henry chuckled wryly as Abe shoved another half of apple into his mouth. 

You stood in the warmth of the sun with your arms crossed and tried so hard not to cry, but failed miserably. Your dam broke and tears fell down your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry. I never meant to offend you,” Henry apologised. “I just don’t want to see you hurt, that’s all. I don’t think Abe does either.” 

“I’ve been hurt enough by Guy. I doubt he could hurt me any more than he already has.”

***

Once Abe had returned to Nottingham, Guy was immediately at his side. “Well, where is she?” Guy was irritated; it showed immediately in his ice blue eyes. 

“I’m not going to force her back, Sir Guy,” Abe replied coolly. 

Guy grabbed Abe and shoved him back against the stone wall of the castle. “You will do whatever I pay you to do, is that understood?” he bellowed, gritting his teeth. 

Abe dragged himself out of Guy’s grasp. “Go and fight for her yourself! Instead of sending us out in your stead, go and do the proper thing and talk to her yourself.” 

Guy knew that Abe was right and sighed, drawing away from the confrontation. He turned on his heel, tossing one last cold glare over his shoulder, and then walked away, back up the steps leading into the castle. 

Your father was standing in the main entrance and had heard the commotion that was going on, and had heard all of the shouts. “You’re the reason I’ve lost my daughter!” your father hissed. 

Guy turned and saw your father standing but ten feet or so away from him. Your father’s hand was on the pommel of his sword and his stare was focused intently on the man who had rejected you. “She wanted me to leave with her. I tried to make her see sense.” 

Your father stepped up to Guy, his eyes wide and piercing. “You will go yourself, Guy. You will go and make this right. You have three options. You can go and make this right; go to her and be the man that she deserves. You can bring her back and never speak a word to her again if your intention is not to wed her. Or, and I will take great delight in this, I rip off your manhood and feed it to you. Which will it be?” 

***

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