#they did this to them in pride month | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pokimoko · 3 months

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Asexual bird? Please

How about two asexual birds?

#ask #art request #my art #art #superb fairywren #fairywren #penguin #little penguin #australian little penguin #fairy penguin #ace #asexual #ace pride #bird art #birds #queer art #pride art #digital art #pride month #lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#queer #critter series #you get two because i couldn't decide which one i wanted to do more so i decided just to do both because i love them both #and also once i realised the fairy name connection between them i couldn't not do them together #okay well technically they're officially called little penguins but i've always know them as fairy penguins #there is actually a lot of them in the state i live. i just haven't had the chance to spot any in the wild yet #but i did see them at the sydney aquarium once. they are such lil' cuties. big fan of penguins me.#as for fairywrens. well i see 'em all the time fluttering about. definitely one of my favourite types of birds #anyway that's enough about what i like. i hope *you* like them too bluesky :3

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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asexualbookbird · 1 year

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Nonbinary Stellars Jay my beloved <3

#queer corvids #pride #pride month #nonbinary #nonbinary pride #bookbird babbles #snapshots #doing the art thing #GOSH THIS WAS MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT SHOULDVE BEEN #I HAVE A MIGRAINE BUT I WANTED IT DONE IN TIME TO POST IN THE MORNING #AND BY GOLLY DID I FINISH IT #was supposed to be a regular blue jay but i was having trouble translating the colors to the nb flag lololol #ANYWAY PLS LOOK AT THEM I LOVE THEM

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wizard-legs · 3 months

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Mad scientist greets the consequences of their actions

EDIT btw there’s a part two (that’s actually a part one) to this post now.just so you know..

#I have posted them before in an ask but it got deleted and I don’t remember if I reposted so I did some new doodles #and anyway it’s my pride month and I get to decide the toxic waste yuri #my art #comics #art #illustration #artists on tumblr #digital illustration #character design #illustrators on tumblr #oc art #slime #slime girl #mad scientist #comic artist #wlw art #queer art

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themathomhouse · 1 year

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this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.

can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.

but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!

it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.

it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.