#they did this to them in pride month

[pokimoko]

Asexual bird? Please

How about two asexual birds?

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[wizard-legs]

Mad scientist greets the consequences of their actions

EDIT btw there’s a part two (that’s actually a part one) to this post now.just so you know..

[themathomhouse]

this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.

can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.

but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!

it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.

it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.

[lez-bichi-lover]

🏳️‍🌈HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 🏳️‍⚧️ HK NATION‼️🗣

June is almost over, but I managed to pull something after not drawing my dear bugs for the longest time <3

[+ READ MORE FOR THE PROCESS]

[cherrytea556]

THE QUEER ALLEGATIONS ARE NOT EVEN ALLEGATIONS AT THIS POINT ITS A CONFESSION 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[cowardlykrow]

“don’t lose it now, old boy.”

With @ratb4stard3

[jane-trademark]

happy pride month to all idw sonic fans

[over-extra-tapidoodles]

guys, does anyone also miss Yukierre??

well I do so i decided to make a Chappell Roan Yukierre Animatic for pride month :)

It’s sad btw :3

[hrokkall]

Happy pride month

Bonus textless version + the original

[cyellolemon]

Pride illust with my webtoon's characters!! :) Happy pride

[pokimoko]

If ur still doin the pride flag animals- could you make a Komodo dragon or parrot with the pan and asexual flags?

Absolutely! Here are some komodo dragons for ya!

[strayingsocks]

forgot to post this here but... sigzai kiss doodl...

i made this a while ago so apologies for the slight downgrade SOBSOB it was to get me out of art block

i might not post much for a bit due to my wrist healing... (i hate tendonitis)

but i AM participating in artfight!! ATTACK ME THERE!!!

[seagull-scribbles]

Taxidermy fingerprints, taxonomies our differences

[Part 2 here]

[soggyremmy]

"If you stay, I would even wait all night, or until my heart explodes. How long till we find our way in the dark and out of harm,

you can run away with me, anytime you want."

🥀🤖

[mangogummi]

Wow, I can’t believe if you play Ace Attorney during Pride Month you get a secret cutscene of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth kissing. That’s so crazy woah

This is my very subtle way of letting people know I started playing Ace Attorney and I adore it already