#they come to love each other when the season is right

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ bad liar ]❜

━━━ .°˖✧ requested by @gothic-rat112 (lost the ask...) ˚₊ ⊹

ft. seong gi-hun x f! reader — squid game

╰₊✧ how he is when jealous & insecure┊1.2k words 

setting: season 1 contains: age gap relationship (unspecified but legal obviously), insecurity & jealousy, he’s a little immature & broke as hell but it’s okay i love pathetic men, reader is a sweetheart, this is all over the place omfg

➤ author's note: okay i kinda went on a tangent, first season because i miss his stupid smile and his fluffy hair (also look at how cute he is in this gif omfg i love him sm, i need to write for him more, underrated in his own show, THE PUPPY EYES)

╰₊✧ honestly, gi-hun isn’t so much as jealous as he is insecure. sure, he has an outgoing personality and always makes you laugh without fail, but he can’t think of any other positive traits aside from that. he doesn’t think of himself as particularly attractive with his scruffy appearance, and he’s painfully aware that he’s lacking when it comes to finances and has a gambling problem to boot. on top of all that, he was a divorced middle-aged man who didn’t even have joint custody of his only daughter and still lived with his mom rent-free, a terrible husband, father, and son— he’s truthfully the type of man people avoid when dating.

╰₊✧ yet he still managed to pull a pretty young thing like you who looks past all that, not sure if you were stupid or desperate. during the first few weeks of being together, he made jokes about still being able to date younger women in his old age because he was still in disbelief it was happening, but when you stuck by his side through all his flaws and the first year passed with you supporting him to get better, insecurity hit him like a ton of bricks when he realized that he was genuinely in love with you and that he didn’t have what it took to be the boyfriend you deserved when he wasn’t even someone his biological family deserved. 

╰₊✧ he sees other people buying their girls jewelry and clothing from name-brand stores, taking them out to eat in luxury restaurants with multiple courses, driving them around in european cars, and he’s out here saving money to do something as little as cake for your anniversary. he’s always on cloud nine when he spends time with you, but there’s something so humbling about looking up “broke date ideas” and scraping together what he already has to make it more special. no matter how much things like that don’t matter to you with the mindset of the intention counting more than the price, he still feels shitty about having you pay for most of the things you do together when he’s the man and the older one in the relationship along with the fact that you were barely better off than he was. 

walks around to admire the sights: especially during holiday seasons when there are pretty lights, you like holding his hand and admiring the sights of the city you often take for granted. if the streets are empty then he doesn’t mind it, but he does get self-conscious about the looks you both get so it’s not super common.

candlelit dinners of takeout and beer: a regular one, gi-hun likes to gather a bunch of candles to make the place look a little more romantic, maybe even having some roses to make it look nicer. the man doesn’t cook much though, so you’ll just have replated takeout with bottles of beer, but he always makes it lively with conversation and puts effort into fixing his hair to look more handsome.

and anything else he can think of, he can be really creative when it comes to you and you’re pleasantly surprised each time.

╰₊✧ these things bother him a lot more than he will let on, but he tries to stay all smiles around you which you see right through like glass. he’s a bad liar, a trait he would always get in trouble for when he was a child since he couldn’t lie about his antics.

╰₊✧ he feels awful when he finds that you also entered these games to pay off your respective debts, because no matter how much you try to convince him you aren’t, he knows that you intended to use any extra money to help him out as well with his debt being higher than yours. it should be the other way around, he should be the one helping you, and when the first shots are fired during “red light, green light,” he makes you swear that you won’t come back.

╰₊✧ of course, you do come back, because while he is your boyfriend, you’re also a grown-ass woman who can do what she pleases (also because you’re desperate and prefer not to find out what those loan sharks would do to you if it took too long to pay them back, and you might as well go to support gi-hun because you know his ass went back).

╰₊✧ he feels a little bit better about himself seeing all of the other people in a similar position as him, drowning in debt and petrified of death. he tries to be protective over you, but let’s be honest, you’re the protective one who mothers him, and since the constant threat of death is always looming, he lets you do it even if it looks stupid. people are either judgemental or jealous, but there are bigger things to worry about.

“people are staring…” he muttered, his eyes darting around to meet theirs and watching as they looked away the second eye contact was made. “you don’t need to do this, you know, it’s a little embarrassing.”

“i don’t care, let them stare,” you stated simply, rubbing into the back of his shoulders with practiced circular motions. “they are just jealous that they don’t have a cute girlfriend to take care of them like you do, and i want to! your muscles are so tense— i don’t want you participating in the next games when you aren’t in the best shape. we could die any day here, i want to give you all the love i can!”

╰₊✧ jealous of sang-woo with his intelligence and emotional security. even if both of them are wearing the same teal tracksuit, his childhood friend was in here because of failed investments which sounded a lot better than just losing constant bets in gambling dens. (to be fair, if you were gi-hun’s controversially young girlfriend, i don’t think either of you would get along well as he probably looks down on you and you probably find him stuck up, so he doesn’t have to worry about you being stolen away by him). not really jealous of that block-head deok-su hitting on you, after the little altercation they had on the first day, more annoyed than anything but the feeling quickly vanishes when he sees you reject him with a roll of your eyes. 

╰₊✧ actually jealous of anyone your age paying attention to you, especially ali who has a really sweet personality and gets along with you really well, maybe even sae-byeok who has a pretty face and is decently nice once you get to know her. 

“you need to stop pouting.”

“‘m not pouting…”

“you’re a bad liar, you know that? but it’s so cute,” you exclaimed, reaching out to pinch his cheeks childishly. “you don’t need to be jealous of ali, he’s already married and has a kid.”

“i know, i know…”

“i don’t think you do.”

╰₊✧ it’s so obvious when he’s jealous, it’s actually painful. he stares holes into the head of the person talking to you and is pouty until you address it. he’ll also blush when you call him out and tease him about it, it’s so cute. please give him assurance, pinch his cheeks, ruffle his fluffy hair, and give him lots of kisses, he deserves it.

(author is slightly delirious with a fever, i took medicine dw, i just really wanna kiss gihun)

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Wrong move | The Salesman x Fem!Reader

Summary: He thought you were in love with him....maybe he needs to show you how much you need him.

Warnings: SFW - Possessive!Salesman - Obsessive!Salesman - Controling!Salesman - Red flag basically - Unhealthy relationship - Power imbalance - DARK!Salesman - grammar mistakes -

Note: Not part of "Home Bliss", this is a different universe.

"No"

These were the words that have been in the Salesman's mind for a week now. His aparment, a place he used to love coming to since you were here waiting for him now felt like a empy box. Walls too grey to look at, too dull. The food did not have teaste and his bed felt too big.

When did things go wrong ? He did everything right.

Saw you one day at the local park, got enamoured by you. Followed you around, got to know your schendelure so he could see you from afar. Was able to hack your phone to know every last detail. Your social media were poorly secured. He got to know you like he knew his own skin, when he finally did approach you, you were already his.

And after two years, two years of beautiful moments together, perfectly crafted by him, each one calculated and made so you would fall more and more for him. He got you to move in with him, he was accepted by your friends, your family loved him, and saw him like part of it.

He was sure, centrain that this was the right moment. The perfect one. This was your favorite season, favorite month, perfect hour of the day and a well secured place so you would not feel pressure over it.

Some part of him wanted you to come to him willing.

But your words were marked liked fire. The exchange and after events lived rent free inside his head.

How he had managed to keep his facade he has no idea. The aparment (after you refused to get back) was the one that suffered his rage. All the expensive forniture was destroyed by him, some walls had blood by how much he had punched them.

He was a mess, a disaster. How could yo do it  ? After everything? Weren't you two the perfect match ?

A ding from his phone, the ding he had set just for you sounded.

"Sorry, I think its better if we stop seeing each other. I will pass to get my things soon"

The phone went flying. Were you breaking up with him by text ? When he had read all the exchange with your friends  ? Like how scared you were and how fast it felt. Why were you doing this?

And your doubts ? He never saw them, you seemed content by his side. And loved him like that.

But your personal diary on your phone said different. You felt trapped, like he knew too much, like he was not being honest.

Maybe he should have been more...severe? Showing you just how bad he could be, maybe he let your leash go too large and now he was paying the consequences.

But would he give up ? No. After all you were just confused, and scared, you just needed a reminder of how much you needed him. How he could be the only one for you.

He took the phone back, the screen broke but other functions working. He ignored your message and instead went to his contacts. He had many friends, friends that could ruin you completly.

"I need a favor"

Leaving him was the start of your nightmare.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

At first the relationship was fine. How does peopel put it ? Honeymoon? Well you two had it for very long.

He was the man any woman could ask for, gentle, caring, doting, never forgot a special date. And would get your favorite things.

But something was off. His eyes, the same dark eyes that sparked when he saw you, these eyes would change to sharp and cold around others. You felt like he was always on you, even when being away for work, he would just know when to send you a message or call you.

Would meet you randomly on the streets, knew when you wanted to do something even when you never mentioned it.

Something was wrong. Your gut told you to run from him but you did not know how. After all on the eyes of everyone he was perfect.

Then he asked to marry you, and you saw your chance. You could say you got scared and that things just did not work out after it.

But it did not go that way.

Once you had got your things from his aparment your Boss called, he had said how sorry he was but the company was cutting off some employees and you were one of them.

Your work, your dream work. The one you had passed years preparing yourself, tears and blood for it. The one that made your parents proud.

Ripped out from you with one call.

Then it came your social circle. Slowly your Friends stopped meeting with you, some removed you from their social media, and some blocked your number. You never got to know what was wrong, or what you did.

And later your parents, it was a shame losing your job, it was worse not being able to get another one.

"Sorry we are looking for something different"

"Your solicitude was read but right now we need another thing"

"We will call you"

Rent became impossible, and so you had to move back with them. Your mother was not happy, telling you how much of a failure you were, how your brother was making money overseas and how your sister had made a family.

Your father did not even look at you. Like he felt guilty, not even the company he used to work for would take you in.

Your days became a circle of sending out curriculums and doing your best to keep your parents happy even when you knew they did not want you there.

And some days you would go to the park and cry. Not caring if others saw you, your life was ruined, you had nothing. Maybe....maybe if you had said yes....

Checking your phone you saw the contacts, mom, dad, brother, sister and him. You were sure you had removed his number but it kept coming back. Maybe you were getting sick because of the stress.  Your finger went over the call buttom till you finally hitted it.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

He never wanted to see you like this, so broken, so out of life. Maybe he had insolated you too much. Let some lies to your Friends and mother that grew and now they hated you. Your father was a rough one, he had used some...other methods for him. But did coperate at the end.

"You dont seem so good" Were his first words and you looked down at your lap.

"Im sorry for have called you.., after everything"

"Dont say anything. I was glad I got your call. I wanted to know how you were doing" He lied, he knew you were miserable.

Only him could fix it.

"I have...well things have been bad" You addmited "I dont want to burden you with it, maybe this was a mistake"

You went to get up and leave but a firm grip on your hand stopped you. His eyes, cold and sharp like he was seeing his prey.

You, you were his prey.

"Sit" It was an order not a request "Lets talk for a bit more, maybe I can help you, for the old times"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

"Are you sure? (Y/N) you can still go back and say no" Your fathers voice cut off.

You were wearing a beautiful weeding dress, outside from a ceremenoy to take place.

"Dad...you have been saying that since I told mom and you that I was getting married. This is good, we actually made up and I even got my work back, with double pay. Was not what you wanted for me?"

Your father did not respond. He still remembers that night. The night your "perfect" boyfriend appear. When he told him how your life would be so bad you would be wishing you were gone.

"And if thats not enoguh, maybe leaving her limp like you will do the trick"

He had tried for many months to hide his injury, the injury that man had caused him and promised to do the same to you.

"Dad? Its your leg hurting? You are crying"

"No dear, im fine. A little emotional to see you go"

When the doors opened and he walked you in and saw the monster you were going to marry he felt like dying there. When he gave you to him he could see it, he was liking his pain.

"I will take good care of her" Were his only words, and by the time his eyes were on you it had changed.

Love? Obsession ? A twisted sense of care ? No one could tell, no one dared to ask.

Him ? He was just happy you finally accepted what was best for you.

Him, he was the best for you.

"Till death do us apart"

Not even death would be able to separate you from him.

[mistymysticalmoon]

Frosty Morning

･ charles leclerc x reader ･

prompt: (fluff) on a snowy monaco morning you and charles enjoy a cozy, sweet moment together, cuddled up with léo and tangled in sheets.

warnings: none

wc: 800

a/n: leave a request inbox is open!

masterlist

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The warm sunlight broke through the curtains, melting away the frost on the window and pulling you from your dreams.

Your eyes flutter open, met with a light snow, a rarity in Monaco, which made it all the more beautiful.

It was finally winter, which meant fuzzy socks, hot chocolate, Christmas, and, best of all, winter break.

After a tough and exciting season, you and Charles could finally have time for yourselves. It had been a year since you'd both said "I do" in the serene south of France, surrounded by all you loved and adored. Your honeymoon had been long and amazing, but right after that, it was back to work for the both of you.

You had both yearned for each other in your time apart and now that you were together you intended to make the most of it.

You softly turned on your back, careful not to wake your sleeping husband, knowing how much he needed this rest. At the end of the bed lay Léo, comfy as ever sprawled out and lightly snoring. You shift, making yourself comfortable to gaze upon Charles’ unconscious face, his hair disheveled and his lips slightly parted.

He looks so peaceful, so perfect. You can't help but reach out, moving a misplaced hair from his eyes.

"Mmm," he stirs, nuzzling his face into his pillow before faintly opening his tired eyes.

"Oh, sorry, love, I didn't mean to wake you," you whisper, feeling guilty for selfishly stealing him from his sleep.

"Morning chérie" he smiles, reaching for your face.

You smile back at him, leaning into his touch and returning the greeting.

"Good morning, how did you sleep?"

"I always sleep beautifully when you're here, mon amour." Charles coos.

"Mmm, is that right?" you tease snuggling up to him.

He nods, chuckling deeply as he wraps his arms tighter around your frame, holding you impossibly close.

"I missed you, so much" you mumble into his chest.

He pulls your face up to his, bringing his lips to yours in a deep, meaningful kiss. You moan into his mouth, your fingers tightening around his bicep to steady yourself.

"Fuck, I missed you, baby, you have no idea," he murmurs against your lips.

"Mmm," you hum in accord, your fingers snaking into his hair, pulling softly just how he likes.

He pulls away only when he feels he needs air, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead and little pecks all over your face. You giggle at the sensation, play fighting him off before returning the gesture, also leaving him in a fit of giggles.

You sigh in contentment, looking over your husband's face, having missed these simple times when it was just you and him in your own little world away from all the racing and media and championship titles.

Just your Charles.

"You're so beautiful, mon cœur," Charles whispers, moving a strand of hair behind your ear. You giggle as you nuzzle your face into the bed, feeling a sudden shyness at his compliment.

"Amour, let me see your face, come here." He pulls your face up to his view, smiling and caressing your cheek and your cuteness.

"Thank you," you whisper, looking down at his chest where your fingers trace imaginary words and shapes.

He smiles at your shyness, finding it endearing. He leaned in to nudge your nose, his hand reaching up to cup your jaw, pulling you in closer, Your eyes fluttered shit as his lips met yours in the softest of kisses, his thumb brushing your cheek as you melted into each other.

It was a simple kiss, but it said so much.

Charles was slow in pulling away, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before you were burying your face in his chest, his arms pulling you in closer. You felt such love and tenderness you could burst, tangled up together with the one you loved in the place you called home.

Suddenly, a quiet yelp was heard in the room, pulling you and Charles from your intimate moment. Looking toward the end of the bed, you see Léo making his way up to the two of you, having become restless and needy. "Good morning, Léo, my love," you coo, beckoning him by patting the space between you and Charles.

Leo excitedly makes his way over, wagging his tail and getting straight to greeting his two favorite humans.

"Vraiment Léo?" Charles exclaims as the puppy licks over his face, causing you to burst into laughter at the adorable scene.

"Someone's excited to see us this morning, aren't you, Léo?" you giggle, petting his small frame as he makes his way over to you, now attacking your face with doggie kisses.

And so you spend the frosty winter morning like that, snuggled up in bed with your two favorite boys, overwhelmed with kisses.

[dollzites]

⏦ﾟ♡︎ “YOU’RE INSANELY ADORABLE LIKE THIS”

୨ৎ pairing: boyfriend!seunghyun x fem reader

୨ৎ genre: fluff! slight suggestiveness

୨ৎ from myeong: ahhhh!! my first ever love. I’m so happy to be writing for him. thank you for requesting and I hope you can enjoy x

a soft sigh left your lips when you turned to look towards the smaller clock that was neatly placed on the wall, something that seunghyun just had to have for some odd reason. something about ‘it makes the room pop!’ which you never understood his artistic ways. all that mattered to you was him coming home soon from his long hours of shooting for squid game season 2. although you were insanely excited about this opportunity he had to come back into the spotlight and show off his acting skills, you missed him dearly. finding yourself going through your camera roll of all the pictures you’d taken of him mostly off guard doing whatever it was that he enjoyed doing and some of them he took of himself on your phone just so you could have them—which was your favorite. a smile tugging at your lips when you heard the familiar sound of the passcode being punched in and you knew it was him. quickly turning off your phone and tossing it to the side you lifted your body and ran towards the door where he would be coming in at, slightly jumping up and down from the excitement that was running through your veins. getting a glimpse of his tired eyes your lips formed a frown but was quickly turned upside down when he smiled at you, shyness coming over you.

“well? is my girl gonna come hug me or not?” and without another word spoken you ran into his arms and wrapped your legs around his waist knowing that he would catch you and keep you safe within those strong arms you adored so much. what seunghyun loved the most about you was your caring, affectionate, and shy personality. although you two had been together for almost a year now it was something new with him every single day and that’s what kept the relationship alive and well. you both learned something new about each other and so far? his favorite? was your shyness. you kept your face hidden in the warmth of his neck while his hands stayed put on your waist. feeling him take off his shoes and walk into the living room where you just were moments before. he took a seat on the couch and leaned back against the soft cushion with a sigh, gently pulling on you to look at him.

“you know I like it when I can see your face, hm? you’re being so shy right now.. missed me?” all you did was nod but kept your arms wrapped around his neck, wanting to keep close to him as much as you could. taking in your favorite scent of his cologne and shampoo. “I missed you so much. I know you’ve been busy shooting but I can’t help but to miss you and need you here with me.” you softly whispered not even wanting to say such a thing in the first place. his deep chuckle filled the room and you whined in response knowing he was about to tease you for being such a needy girl. slowly but surely you finally lifted your head to look at him which was a mistake because once your eyes found his beautiful large ones it felt like you were stuck. couldn’t move but it was the greatest feeling. every single time you were like this and all you could feel was shyness and embarrassment come over you. seunghyun knew it and lifted a large hand to cradle your face keeping you right where he wanted you to be, “you’re insanely adorable like this.” is all he said before leaning in to press his lips against your own in a sweet but passionate kiss. your smaller hands found his warm wrists and held onto them tightly as if he would disappear once you let go. once he pulled away you went to hide your face in his neck again but he quickly stopped you from doing so and that’s when you felt his warm soft lips against your neck. you squirmed from the feeling and he kept you in place on his lap.

“stop squirming silly, you’re so cute did you know that? such a cute girl. you’re my girl. all mine and only I can make you like this.” he said in between kisses that he continued to place against your neck, which was correct—only seunghyun could make you feel this shyness. “seunghyun..” is all you could say not wanting to embarrass yourself any further and that’s all he needed to hear to stop and stare at you for a few moments wanting to take in the cuteness that he was seeing. it only made you feel more flustered and shy and he knew that, that’s why he did such a thing. looking away from him he quickly grabbed ahold of your jaw and forced you to look at him again his head shaking with a slight ‘tsk’ leaving his lips. “want to see my cute girls face. especially when you’re so flustered like this.” is all he said before pulling you into another kiss, lifting you and himself off of the couch and heading into your shared bedroom.

[azzifuddslover]

UNRAVEL - chapter five

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

tw: swearing, alcohol use

themes: angst, fluff

word count: 8.3k

a/n: i apologize for this being a little late, i was working on it but got distracted when paige’s injury happened (so glad to hear it was only a sprain, omg). anyway, this chapter feels unnecessary long considering barely anything happened lol. can anyone tell i love face kisses? so CUTE. please share ur reactions and opinions on this series so far, it keeps me wanting to write 🙃 enjoy

the gampel pavilion buzzes with excitement as the crowd fills the rows of chairs, a sea of school colors and spirited cheers echoing off the walls. paige stands near the huskies’ side of the court, in a huddle with her team, giving one another pep talks— pumping each other up for their very first game. she takes a deep breath to steady her nerves; the weight of the moment pressed down heavily on her chest.

“you ready, p?” nika eagerly smiles from her side, practically jumping up and down with enthusiasm.

“fuck yeah,” paige matches her grin.

as the huddle breaks, the players high five each other. paige feels a rush of adrenaline as they exchange quick, encouraging words, her heart racing in sync with the atmosphere around her.

“we got this, guys,” evina, an upper classman guard, states, raising her hands in the air. the team erupts in a chorus of cheers, a final boost before they take their positions on the court.

paige steps onto the hardwood, the bright lights reflecting off the polished surface. she takes a minute to soak it all in— the cheers, the rhythm of the game, the energy of the crowd. as her eyes waive their way through the rows of fans, her eyes land on her. azzi, her best friend for years now, jumping in her seat, clapping her hands with a wide, goofy smile on her face. paige’s lips tip into a smirk once she takes in azzi’s choice of clothing— her own #5 jersey, the fabric draping over azzi’s frame. the sight warms paige, a reminder that azzi’s waiting for her after the game.

the brunette locks eyes with paige, feeling a rush of pride for her friend. the moment their eyes meet, azzi leans forward, her grin broadening. with a playful twinkle in her eye, she teasingly blows a kiss to the blonde. the gesture causes paige’s cheeks to redden, feeling a mix of embarrassment and affection. she shakes her head, trying to wipe off her own smile.

azzi’s support fuels her energy, and with one quick glance back at azzi, paige inhales a deep breath, centering herself. she positions herself on the court, every heartbeat syncing with the thrum of the crowd.

as the ref blows his whistle, the two players from opposing teams jump up, reaching for the ball in the air. when it’s flicked into the hands of paige, she’s overwhelmed with a surge of adrenaline. instinct kicks in as she dribbles down the court, her focus narrowing on the hoop ahead.

weaving effortlessly between defenders, she throws the ball up, watching it swoosh through the net. the crowd explodes in cheers and applause, impressed at paige’s performance.

the game continues with paige on fire— her passing on point, layups never missing, 3 pointers falling left and right. the entire course of the game, azzi’s line of sight never wavers from the blonde, following her every move. she watches in awe at paige’s effortless plays, wishing she could be playing too, right alongside her.

the first game of the uconn women’s basketball season comes to an end, with uconn taking the win by 35 points. paige, along with the rest of her teammates, high five the opposing team, being respectful and showing good sportsmanship. paige scans the crowd of fans, eyes locking with the familiar curly brunette’s. a soft smile tugs at her lips, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.

after the brief team huddle full of pride, paige almost immediately makes her way over to azzi, who’s waiting near the edge of the court. she strides up, wrapping her arms around her in a warm embrace.

“you did so amazing, paige,” azzi beams, pulling back to look paige directly in the eye.

paige lets out a laugh, awkwardly adjusting her jersey. “thanks, az,” she allows herself to take in azzi’s features before adding, “i’ll meet you outside so we can head to my dorm?”

“sounds good,” azzi replies, her smirk lingering as her brown eyes light up.

paige rushes into the locker room, stuffing her belongings into her bag, zipping it eagerly. meanwhile, aubrey, taking her time to pack, exchanges a knowing glance with nika, who also stands besides paige with curious eyes.

“what’s the rush for, paige?” aubrey asks, voice laced with confusion.

“oh, um,” paige scrambles, “i’m just going to meet up with azzi.”

nika scoffs, not surprised at paige’s response. over the course of a few months, paige has nonstop rambled on and on about azzi and her commitment to uconn— how she can hardly wait for her to arrive, being able to finally play with her best friend again.

“so y’all can make out again?” nika teases, playfully rolling her eyes.

a blush creeps up paige’s neck, clearly thrown off by nika’s commentary. she shifts her weight to one foot, then the other, standing awkwardly. after a momentary pause, paige shallows and furrows her brows, “nika.. that was one time, and we were both drunk. she’s my best friend, that’s all.”

nika glances back at aubrey, who looks as unconvinced as she does. nika purses her lips, shaking her head. “whatever you say, paige.”

“it’s true!” paige defends, throwing up her hands.

the now aggravated blonde finishes off her bag, tossing it over her shoulder before walking out the the locker room without a glance back at her two teammates. during the walk outside, a couple fans approach her, pleading for autographs and photos with her. being the people pleaser she is, she agrees to every single one with a never faltering grin in her expression.

as she steps outside into the chilly november weather, she instantly spots azzi, who’s quietly leaning against the wall, waiting patiently for her. a smile touches her lips at the sight.

paige sneakily runs up beside her without azzi looking up— she throws her arm out around her shoulders and neck, yanking her closer.

“god, you scared me,” azzi giggles, arm coming to hang loosely around her waist as she’s still in paige’s hold.

paige shares the laughter, her heart warming at the sound. “i couldn’t resist,” she teases, giving azzi a playful squeeze before letting her go.

walking side by side towards the dorm rooms, the crisp november air nips at their cheeks. paige glances over at azzi and down at her jersey she wears. “you look good in that jersey, by the way,” paige remarks, a hint of pride in her tone.

azzi beams, her cheeks flushing slightly. feeling bold, she says, “only ‘cause it’s yours.”

“exactly,” paige agrees, nodding her head while her smirk stays put. she confidently drapes her arm around azzi’s waist— just like azzi had previously— pulling her in. her hand lingers on azzi’s rib, slowly creeping up and in.

the eventually arrive at paige’s room, unlocking and twisting the knob until the door opens, revealing the familiar room azzi had been in only a month earlier, for paige’s birthday.

a flood of memories hit azzi from her previous visit— paige laying on top of azzi, hugging the life out of her, kissing her neck and face. she’s unwilling to admit the amount of times her mind has returned to those moments, recalling every soft touch and kiss she so desperately wants to happen again.

paige, with her hand still on azzi’s frame, spins the younger girl around, so they’re facing each other. the corners of her lips twitch up, appreciation swirling in her bright blue eyes. she attacks azzi with a firm hug, wrapping her arms around her body, feeling the instant warmth envelop her. she tilts her head towards azzi’s neck and hair area, inhaling her familiar scent.

azzi, slightly caught off guard, stiffens for a minute before relaxing into paige’s welcoming embrace. she reciprocates, wrapping her own arms the older girl’s waist.

the hug lingers, lasting longer than it should for a pair of friends. azzi eventually pulls back slightly, her eyes wide with a mix of surprise and delight. “what was that for?” she asks, her tone gentle.

paige smiles and reaches out to brush a loose curl behind azzi’s ear. “i just appreciate you being here, for, you know, my first game,” she tells her, “more than you know,” she adds, voice barely above a whisper.

“i know,” azzi nods in understanding. “i can’t wait to be here, playing with you.”

“god, me too,” paige groans, exposing her eagerness for azzi’s arrival. she lowers her head to sit on the brunette’s shoulder, lips inches away from her neck.

feeling the heavy weight of the intimate moment between the two, azzi removes her hands from paige’s frame, stepping back until she’s sitting on the unmade bed.

paige shifts awkwardly, already missing azzi’s touch she’s grown to love over the years. she scratches her head, pulling her lips in a line. “wanna get some food? i’m starving,” she questions, trying to break the uncomfortable tension.

azzi’s face lights up, “yeah, that sounds great.” she pushes herself off the bed, putting her phone in her back pocket.

the two walk down the hallway, hands brushing often yet they pull away each time. the atmosphere around them is charged with unspoken words, both feeling an electric, intense pull towards the other. as they reach the exit of the dorm building, paige looks at azzi, pulse quickening.

“where are you thinking?” paige asks, trying to keep the mood light as they step back outside into the brisk air.

“you can decide,” azzi replies.

after playfully bickering back and forth, trying to settle on a place to eat, they eventually agree on chipotle— a place they both love.

the girls eat in a comfortable silence, focusing on eating rather than making discussion. paige can’t help but let her gaze wander to azzi, feeling grateful she’s here with her, despite her home being miles away.

the drive back to campus is brief, but something paige would never take for granted. being here, with azzi by her side, is more than enough to satisfy her. without a word spoken between the two, paige reaches for azzi’s hand, interlacing their fingers, squeezing to show her appreciation.

azzi glances at paige, her features softening at the older’s girl doing. she can’t quite seem to express just how much paige truly means to her, how much their friendship has changed azzi for the better. how much she loves likes her.

“i feel like i play better knowing you’re in the stands, watching me,” paige admits, once again breaking the quiet floating around them.

“why is that?”

paige pauses for a moment, searching for the right words. “i don’t know,” she whispers before adding in a lower voice, “you make me feel like i can do anything. be anyone i want. i love that about you.”

azzi feels her breath catch at paige’s words, nerves eating away at her stomach. “i never realized i have that effect on you,” she responds, vulnerable yet earnest.

paige takes her eyes off the road for a swift moment to meet azzi’s, “you do,” she focuses back to driving, “it’s like, when i see you, you remind me why i play— why i push myself to be the best i can be. you make it feel personal, like it matters.”

a small smile tugs at azzi’s lips, the weight of paige’s confession settling in. “i love being that person for you.”

paige slowly pulls their intertwined hands up to her lips, placing a kiss on the back of azzi’s, her lips staying for a second too long. “me too, az.”

their conversation dies after that, a comfortable silence settling in, just embracing each others presence. they’re hands remain connected until paige pulls in and parks the car. they make their way up to paige’s dorm, walking at a steady pace with barely a distance between them.

back in the room, azzi pulls out her pajamas— a loose shirt with a pair of boxer shorts— and immediately starts removing her clothing. paige grabs her own, starting to change as well. her eyes can’t help but wander to azzi’s frame, with her bare back facing paige. she admires her tan skin, the soft curves of her shoulders, the gentle lines of her back creating an effortless beauty. cheeks reddening, paige tears her eyes away, focusing on her clothing, but the imagine lingers in her mind, stirring something deep within her.

the brunette climbs into paige’s bed like its her own, sinking into the soft mattress, nuzzling into a fuzzy blanket. her line of sight finds the blonde, who’s now slipping on her shorts.

making eye contact with paige, azzi looks away automatically, embarrassed to be caught staring. “i— i’m sorry.”

paige only laughs, causing azzi to relax a little— not a lot, but a little. “i don’t mind, azzi.” she crawls in the bed, the distance between them growing shorter and shorter. she quickly turns off the lamp, turning to face the younger girl.

paige leans forward, placing a hand on azzi’s hip and pressing her lips to azzi’s forehead, a gesture of care and gratitude towards her. when she pulls back, she rests her head on a pillow only inches away from azzi’s, looking her dead in the eye. “you always make everything better whenever you’re around,” she whispers, the darkness surrounding her.

azzi’s heart squeezes in her chest at the sincerity of paige’s gentle words. she swears in this moment, in the dark of paige’s room, she has never felt more alive. the weight of the world outside fades, as they are solely focused on each other, and each other only. “you do, paige.” with that, azzi closes the distance, planting kisses along her jaw— in a friendly manner, she tells herself.

paige’s breath hitches as azzi softly kisses a trail along her jawline, warmth creeping into her cheeks. the intimacy of the moment feels electric, something she wishes she could feel forever.

pulling back, azzi searches paige’s blue eyes, the playful banter transforming into something deeper, “i’m so proud of you, you know that?” she says, her voice steady but filled with raw emotion.

paige’s heart swells. “really?”

“absolutely,” azzi replies like it’s a no brainer, her tone sincere and firm. “you’ve come so far and handled everything so well. i admire you.”

paige’s cheeks, already flushed, turn an even darker shade of red. she nuzzles her face into azzi’s neck, “god, azzi,” she murmurs, tugging the blanket over top of them.

with paige fully pressed against azzi’s frame, the two girls fall into a peaceful sleep, never moving an inch away from the other— not even in the dark.

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

it’s move in day for the uconn freshmen, including— of course— azzi. driving towards the uconn campus, the girl lets her mind drift to paige, and how they’d be together again, in a matter of minutes. her thoughts wander off to the last night they’d spent together— paige’s body pressed right against hers, paige’s face nuzzled in her neck, her lips grazing the skin there. god, did she miss her.

paige and azzi had texted all through the night, expressing their excitement for seeing each other again. it had been seven whole months since the duo had been together, back in november when azzi attended the blonde’s first college game.

as if on queue, azzi feels her phone buzz against her leg. she doesn’t even need to check to know it’s her best friend.

p: u almost here?

the corners of azzi’s lips tip up at paige’s eagerness.

a: why, u miss me?

p: u wish. but seriously, almost here?

azzi lets out an airy laugh as she playfully rolls her eyes at paige’s text.

a: about 5 minutes away

azzi anxiously taps on her leg, staring out the window, waiting for their car to arrive at their destination. when it does, anticipation bubbles within azzi, her heart speeding up at the thought of playing here— playing with paige, especially.

a: just parked

she puts her phone in her back pocket, not really caring about paige’s response as she’ll be here very soon. azzi glances around, taking in her surroundings and envisioning herself staying here for the next four years. her eyes lock on caroline— an incoming freshman and one of her best friends— and her smile widens. she runs over to carol, pulling her in for a quick hug.

“carol! how have you been?” azzi beams, excited to see her friend.

“aw, i’ve missed you too,” caroline teases, nudging azzi’s shoulder.

“oh, shut up,” azzi rolls her eyes, “you know i’ve missed you.”

caroline only smiles, throwing her arm around her shoulders, bringing their heads together.

“ready to get unpacked?”

“gosh, i’m dreading it,” azzi sighs, “i hate unpacking so much.”

katie and tim, azzi’s parents, unlock the truck, beginning to take their daughter’s luggage out. azzi, being the over-packer she is, packed way more than needed.

as azzi begins to help take her belongings out of her car, she hears the front door creak open. she peaks her head up, instantly seeing the familiar blonde jogging towards her.

“azzi!” she hears paige shout.

she sets down her bag that was previously slugged on her arm, walking calmly to paige. paige closes their distance— the moment they embrace, everything else seems to fade away— the bustling campus, her parents unloading the car, the nerves of starting college.

paige drops her head to rest on azzi’s shoulder, her hands grazing the younger girl’s lower back. azzi gives paige one good squeeze before pulling back, looking her right in the eye.

“finally you’re here, i was waiting all damn day,” paige admits, smile growing until it reaches her eyes. her cheeks are slightly pink— probably from running down here in only a few minutes— and her blonde hair is wet, indicating she showered earlier.

azzi chuckles, her hand coming up to rest on paige’s arm. “i’m here.”

after admiring azzi’s features for a moment to long, paige shakes her head, dragging herself out of her thoughts. “let’s get your stuff to your room.”

azzi tilts her head, eyes softening. “paige, you don’t need to help.”

paige gives azzi an are you serious type of look. “i want to, az.”

azzi feels her heart squeeze as she tries to wipe her silly smile off her lips. she bites the inside of her cheek, gazing lingering on the blonde’s back once she goes to carry some of her bags. she takes in her flexing muscles, in awe of how good she looks doing such a simple task.

paige hoists a duffel bag effortlessly over her shoulder, locking eyes again with the brunette. she smirks before leading the way up to azzi’s dorm room that she’s sharing with caroline. tim, katie, and azzi all follow in unison.

azzi’s parents set down the unnecessary amount of bags azzi had insisted she needed, gave her long hugs before heading out, leaving paige and azzi alone in her new room.

caroline, azzi’s roommate, is still outside with her own parents, surely coming up soon.

the brunette, with a gentle grin on her face, starts to unpack her clothing. she folds up her shirts neatly, placing them in the empty drawers as paige sits awkwardly on the bed.

“you excited to be sharing a room with caroline?” paige asks.

“i mean, yeah, she’s my best friend,” azzi nods. “though i wouldn’t mind having my own space. you’re lucky to have your own room.”

paige furrows her brows at azzi’s comment about carol being her best friend. “she’s your best friend, huh?”

azzi stops folding her clothes, glancing up at paige with a smirk in her expression. she stands, striding over so she’s looking down at paige, who’s positioned on her bed. the older girl leans her head back to look azzi dead in the eye.

“you know your my best friend,” she whispers, “always.”

reassured by azzi’s words, paige wraps her arms around her waist, yanking her closer to her own frame. azzi’s eyes widen at paige’s action— she goes a step further, dropping down to her knees so they’re at eye level.

paige, hands still exploring the younger girl’s body, says, “god, i’m so fucking glad your here, az. you have no idea.”

azzi’s cheeks redden. “i’m glad to be here. with you.”

paige leans forward until their foreheads are touching, wanting so badly to connect their lips like they’ve done in the past, yet have never brought up since.

“my sweet azzi,” paige mumbles, her eyes fluttering shut.

azzi freezes. a heartbeat passes as azzi feels paige’s breath against her skin. the moment hangs heavy in the air, filled with emotions that both excite and terrify her.

“paige—“

azzi is cut off by caroline making her entrance, letting out an exhausted breath as she yanks in her suitcase. she trips over the threshold, her eyes widening as she takes in the scene before her— paige and azzi’s hands all over each other, foreheads pressed against one another’s, barely inches apart.

“did i interrupt something?” caroline exclaims, halting in her tracks.

the two girls scramble to remove their touch from the other; azzi rushes to her feet, cheeks a deep shade of pink as she tries to compose herself. she doesn’t understand why she’s so flustered over carol walking in on nothing— yet she can’t seem to meet her eyes.

“uh, no,” azzi stammers, searching for the right words, still avoiding caroline’s teasing gaze. “we were just talking.”

caroline scoffs, crossing her arms. “yeah, right,” she glances at paige, who’s looking down at her feet. “how’s it going, p?”

paige offers a small smile, finally pulling her gaze up to carol’s line of sight, “good. how ‘bout yourself?”

“i’m alright,” carol nods.

a minute goes by with caroline awkwardly glancing between the girls, azzi standing near her many bags, and paige resting on the bed. eventually, the older girl jumps to her feet, deciding it’s best to leave azzi to get situated.

“see y’all later?”

azzi scrunches her eyebrows, a pang of disappointment spreading through her. paige basically just met up with her, why is she already leaving?

“where’re you going?” azzi asks.

“just running some errands,” she replies, “wanna grab dinner later?”

“yeah, ‘course.”

paige nods, a smile lingering on her face. she exists the dorm, leaving azzi and caroline alone in silence.

“azzi.. are you and paige, you know—“

azzi rubs her temple with her hand, “no, carol! she’s my friend. we’re just kinda touchy, i guess.”

caroline’s lips form a line, clearly unconvinced. “but you like her.”

azzi’s lips part, looking for the right response, one that should come easy, but doesn’t. she’s always felt something towards paige— ever since she was 14 years old. she hasn’t given it too much thought over the years, not wanting to screw up their friendship.

she closes her lips, looking away. by her hesitation, the answer is obvious. “i— i don’t know,” she murmurs, voice low.

caroline’s smirk deepens. “azzi, come on. i can tell by the one minute interaction between you both. you can admit it, it’s not a crime to like someone.”

azzi lets out a frustrated sigh, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. “it’s complicated, okay? we’ve always been just best friends. i don’t wanna ruin that.”

“or maybe you’re afraid of what could happen if you crossed the friendship lines?” caroline suggests, “maybe you’ve already done that.”

azzi throws an aggravated look at her friend, choosing to ignore her snarky remark. “whatever, i don’t feel like talking about this right now.”

carol nods in understanding, allowing the conversation to finally die out. “let’s get unpacked, az.”

azzi takes a seat on the floor, beside her suitcase and piles of clothing. carol drops next to her, starting to open her own luggage. the two close friends fold clothes and get situated quietly, not bothering to make discussion.

azzi thinks back to caroline’s comment, and how she automatically knew there was something between her and paige. was her feelings towards the older girl that obvious? did paige feel something towards her, too? she decides to drown out the thoughts by putting in her airpods, letting her mind wander elsewhere as she focuses in on unpacking.

only a week later is the first practice of the season. azzi steps into the open gym, eyes scanning her teammates she’s already began to bond with. caroline, her roommate and close friend, walks in with her, carrying her basketball bag over her shoulder.

“god, i’m nervous,” azzi tells carol, eyebrows drawn together. anxiety flutters in her lower stomach.

“you, of all people, have nothing to be nervous about. you’re probably one of the best players here,” caroline notes, giving a glance to the brunette next to her as she grips the strips of her bag.

azzi takes a deep breath, forcing a smile despite her nerves. “thanks, but i just want to make a good impression. new team, new coaches and all.”

“i get that,” caroline agrees, nodding, “i’m a bit nervous too.”

the two girls walk into the locker room, greeting the teammates already inside with friendly smiles and small talk. as azzi is tying on her basketball shoes, the door creaks open and in walks paige.

paige doesn’t hesitate to walk over to brunette, a grin playing at her lips. “hey az,” she says, tossing her own bag down.

“hi,” azzi replies softly as she pulls the knot of her shoe laces.

paige begins taking out her belongings, getting all situated and ready for practice. being in her sophomore year, she’s gotten used to how practices go.

“look, if coach says anything mean, just know it’s his way of showing his love. he’s gonna be tough, especially to the freshmen,” paige tells her.

azzi chuckles— she’s heard stories about geno and his teaching ways, so she’s mentally prepared herself for today and the next few years she’ll be playing here.

once they’re all ready, the team heads out to the court. paige leads the way, her energy infectious. she’s been ready to start up practices after the team lost in march— she blamed herself and was ready to prove she’s better than that.

as they start warming up, azzi stretches her limbs, feeling her body loosen. they move into practice shots, each player shooting from different positions and directions. azzi, being the sharpshooter she is, focuses on 3 pointers, considering that’s her strongest suit. she misses the first shot, but after wiping her mind of the nerves, she adjusts her feet and doesn’t miss again.

paige steals glances at azzi’s shooting, in awe of how talented she continues to be. the blonde knew she was good back in USA basketball, so it’s no surprise she’s only gotten better throughout the years.

nika lingers beside paige, focusing on her own shooting. paige leans over, “isn’t she good?”

nika lets out an annoyed sigh, “yes, paige, she’s good. but i already knew that, since you forced us to watch her highlights many times.”

paige laughs at the memory. “no regrets,” she says.

as practice continues, the gym buzzes with energy, but also echoes from coach auriemma’s shouts. azzi finds her groove, hitting shot after shot from beyond the arc. each swish of the net builds her confidence, and she can feel the weight of her nerves lifting with every successful attempt. she earns a pleased look from coach— him raising his eyebrows, nodding his head at her performance.

paige continues to glance at her friend, a mix of admiration and pride shining in her eyes. she can’t help but smile, remembering how much she begged azzi to come to uconn. azzi would groan, complain and say she was still weighing her options. paige never gave up though, and clearly, it worked in her favor.

in the midst of shooting, azzi catches paige staring at her. for a minute, their eyes lock, just observing the other. the younger girl tilts her head, hands on her hips, offering a soft smirk. there’s a spark of connection in the brief moment, and paige feels her pulse quicken.

paige mimics azzi’s gesture, putting her own hands on her hips, raising her eyebrows for a second. azzi bites her lip, trying to suppress her growing grin. she responds with throwing paige a teasing wink and going back to her drills.

the blonde’s lips part— she feels a blush creep up her neck as she’s flustered by azzi’s doing. she shakes it head, attempting to get her out of her mind. but, no surprise, it doesn’t work. when has it ever worked?

the first practice of the season wraps up, and azzi indeed makes a good impression. not only did she consistently hit her shots, but her quick decision-making and teamwork caught the eyes of both the coaches and her teammates. they exchange impressed glances, murmuring about her obvious skills and how seamlessly she integrated into the drills. it was clear that she wasn’t just another player; she brought a new level of intensity and talent that energized the entire team, setting a promising tone for the season ahead.

as each player of the team gather their things and head to the locker room, nika suggests, “you guys wanna come to our dorm later?” she points to aaliyah, another sophomore and also her roommate. “we could use a little team bonding, getting to know the freshies.”

the other teammates nod in agreement, already radiating excitement. azzi feels a sudden warm glow of acceptance as they start making plans, knowing she’s found her place among them. she soon agrees as well, along with paige.

azzi glances back at the older girl, saying a momentary goodbye, before heading off to her and caroline’s dorm. she spends her evening chatting up with carol, sharing laughs and stories. she showers, leaving her wet curls loose, framing her face. she dresses comfortably in a uconn hoodie paired with black sweatpants.

while she’s silently scrolling on her phone, caroline doing the same on her own bed, a text messages appears at the top of her screen. it’s nika, texting in the team group chat. she opens the message: u guys comin?

a smile spreads across azzi’s face as she types a quick response, sharing her and carol will be there soon. she looks over at her friend and raises an eyebrow. “leave in five?”

“good with me,” she nods, quickly returning to her phone.

the five minutes past as if it were one. azzi pulls herself to her feet, letting out a gentle sigh. although she’s excited to hang out with her friends, she’s worn out from practice hours prior and just wants to sleep it off.

she replaces her hoodie with a comfortable but pleasing tank top, showing off a little bit of skin. caroline notices, scoffing to herself. “don’t i know who that’s for,” caroline remarks.

“oh, shut up,” azzi rolls her eyes.

the two girls make their way to nika and aaliyah’s dorm, the hallway buzzing with life as they pass other students.

they approach the door, caroline goes to knock, but it swings open, revealing a very smiley nika. “hey guys!”

“hey,” carol replies. azzi offers a cheeky smile and a small wave.

nika steps aside, allowing them to enter the cozy dorm filled with chatter and laughter. the atmosphere is lively, and azzi feels her spirits lift as she takes in the scene. she looks around the room, spotting aubrey and a few others gathered on the couch, engaging in a conversation.

as caroline and azzi weave through their friends, she suddenly catches sight of paige, who’s laughing heartily at something olivia had said. she meets azzi’s gaze and instantly stands, making her way over to the younger girl.

“hey az!”

azzi smiles, pleased that paige joined her. “how’s it goin’?”

“not too bad, now that you’re here,” she smirks, her arm finding its way around her shoulders, pulling her in close.

“stop,” azzi murmurs, clearly flustered at paige’s response.

paige chuckles quietly, pleased with herself— she loves catching azzi off guard, making her cheeks turn pink. she leans in, lips brushing her ear, “i’m only telling the truth. you’re my favorite person here,” she whispers, then dares to kiss right below her ear.

“paige..” azzi trails off, tilting her head towards the older girl.

paige smirks, loving how riled up azzi is getting. she goes a step further by saying, “i like your top. you look good.” she tugs at the bottom of her tank top, mischief swirling in her eyes.

the pink in azzi’s cheeks become more noticeable. “thanks,” she manages to breath out.

just as paige opens her mouth to add onto their conversation, aaliyah speaks up, her voice echoing, “i think a game of truth or dare is in order. y’know, to get to know each other better.”

“i’m in,” each teammate agrees in unison, nodding their heads. paige takes her hand off azzi, dragging her attention off her, too. the two agree, going to take a seat with the rest of their friends. of course, paige plops right next to the brunette, their thighs slightly touching.

“caroline, truth or dare?” olivia asks.

caroline thinks for a second, “truth.”

“where’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?”

“not really that crazy, but in the back of my boyfriend’s car,” caroline replies.

“been there, done that,” nika grins.

the group laughs, not surprised by nika’s commentary. aaliyah turns to azzi, “azzi, truth or dare?”

azzi purses her lips, thinking. “truth.”

“lame,” she swears she hears paige mutter, but chooses to ignore it.

“describe your first kiss and rate it on a scale of 1-10.”

azzi freezes for a moment, not really expecting that type of question. she shifts in her spot, extremely aware of paige next to her, looking at her with curious, knowing eyes. a small smirk lingers on her lips.

“it was really earlier in the morning, and i had previously met up with this guy i thought i liked, which ended horribly, so i was crying. my, um, friend—“ she throws the quickest glance to paige— “was there, and she comforted me and whatnot. anyway, she was saying really nice things to me and i just kissed her. got carried away, i guess,” she laughs awkwardly.

“that’s so cute!” aaliyah coos, her hand dramatically at her chest. “what’s your rating?”

azzi tilts her head to the side, a cocky smirk playing on her full lips. “i’d give it like a six.”

she can practically feel paige’s glare. the girls move onto the next person, asking her a question, yet paige and azzi’s attentions are solely focused on each other.

“are you kidding, a six?” paige whispers, only loud enough for azzi to hear.

azzi shrugs, her teasing grin making paige more aggravated.

“i can do better than a six,” paige insists, still keeping her voice low so the others don’t hear.

azzi leans close, whispering in paige’s ear, “prove it.”

paige’s breath catches in her throat, the challenge hanging in the air. she lifts an eyebrow, her irritation shifting into something more playful. “give me a time and place.”

azzi bites her lip, not entirely surprised at paige’s teasing demeanor. “yeah, you wish.”

yeah, i do, paige wants to say, but holds herself back. she turns her attention back on the end, already wishing she could go back to her dorm, hoping to get some sleep. although her mind consumed with thoughts revolving azzi tells her she’s probably not getting much.

first game of the season and azzi hasn’t felt more nervous in her life. the stadium is packed with screaming fans and families of the team, the buzz of excited chatter vibrating through the air as she stands at the edge of the corner, in her uconn #35 jersey. she glances around at her teammates, each one radiating confidence having done with game before, but the weight of expectations presses heavily on her.

paige naturally knows azzi is stressed, regardless of her calm expression. she grabs her arm, causing azzi to stop in her tracks. “you’ll do great, az,” she nods, reassuring the younger girl.

azzi nods back, grateful she has paige by her side. the blonde gives azzi a gentle squeeze on her arm, before the starting five takes the court.

before azzi knows it, the whistle blows, and the ball is throw up into the air. she takes a deep breath, trying to steady her erratic heartbeat. paige gets the first hands on the ball, beginning to dribble it down the court. the minute she throws it to azzi who starts off the game with hitting an impressive 3 pointer, the freshman feels a rush of adrenaline and lets her confidence cloud any nerves.

midway through the third quarter, azzi’s earned herself a total of 15 points so far. paige has 17, and continues to rack up more assists.

olivia bounces it to paige— she catches it smoothly, scanning the court for an opening. azzi positions herself, ready to receive another pass. but just as paige makes her move, an opposing player charges in, trying to steal the basketball. in a split second, paige pivots, dodging the defender with a quick feint.

however, the opposing player’s momentum sends her crashing into paige, who stumbles back, crashing to the floor. azzi watches as paige hits the ground hard, the breath knocked out of her.

azzi jogs over— trying her best not to make her concern so obvious for everyone to see— to paige who continues to lay on the ground, pain etched across her face.

“paige, you okay?” she asks, voiced laced with concern for her friend. she leans over who, eyebrows drawn down.

paige winces but manages a weak smile. “only that would happen to me first game,” she jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

“seriously, do you need help getting up?” azzi questions.

paige figures she could use the help, so she nods; with azzi’s support, she pushes herself up. azzi keeps a firm grip on her arm, steadying her as she rises. “i’m all good, az,” paige assures her, though her breath is still slightly shaky.

the whistle blows and the game pauses briefly as coach auriemma checks on paige. azzi lingers nearby, her heart racing from both the intensity of the game and paige’s close call.

paige shakes off any pain, focusing back onto the game. “you scared me for a second,” azzi admits softly.

the corners of paige’s lips quirk up, “aw, you worried about me?”

azzi rolls her eyes at paige’s snarky comment, pushing her shoulder. as the game resumes, she positions herself to receive the ball again, ready to finish off the remaining minutes.

paige’s competitive spirit flares as she focuses on the game. the clock ticks down, and azzi, fueled by adrenaline, makes a swift move, adding onto the score— which is already high enough as is— at the final second. the buzzer goes off, indicating the end of the game. the crowd erupts into chants and cheers, calling the players names, dying for their attention.

the five on the floor, along with the bench, line up, going to high five the opposing team. after showing respect, the uconn team heads back into the locker room, where the atmosphere is electric with pride, soaking in their first win. paige, still buzzing from the game, turns to azzi with wide eyes.

“how are you so fucking good?” paige shakes her head, her brain rewinding all the buckets azzi had made today. her countless jumpers, impressive 3 pointers, easy layups.

“i should be asking you that,” azzi smiles as she packs up her basketball gear.

paige scoffs, playfully rolling her blue eyes.

as the players are getting ready to head out, olivia leans against the wall, “y’all wanna hit up ted’s later? around 8? to y’know, celebrate the win.”

“just say you want to drink,” nika remarks.

“fine— i want a damn drink. anyone else?” olivia admits.

the girls agree, nodding enthusiastically. after a long day, they could definitely use a little winding down.

making their way out of the room, paige grabs azzi’s arm, dragging her backwards. “wanna go to my dorm?”

azzi purses her lips, “and do what?”

“i don’t know, just chill? i wanna hang out with you,” paige whines.

“you’re such a sap,” azzi giggles but lets paige take her away to her room. she quickly shoots caroline a text, saying she’s going over paige’s before they all head to the bar.

paige lets the arm on azzi’s fall to her hand, holding it but not quite intertwining their fingers. as they reach the door, the older girl turns the key and opens the door, pulling azzi in by her hand.

unexpectedly, paige doesn’t stop pulling the brunette until their bodies are against each other’s, flopping on the bed together.

paige wraps her arms around her frame, squeezing her tightly like she’s done so many times before.

“what’s this for?” azzi asks, voice coming out muffled as she’s nuzzled against paige’s neck.

“i’m just happy to be playing with you again. i’ve missed it,” she murmurs.

azzi’s fingers grip paige’s jersey, lips barely an inch away from the skin on her neck. she knew how paige loves neck kisses, all she wanted to do was—

“az?”

she looks up, eyes twinkling, “yeah?”

“what are you thinking about?”

azzi opens her lips, as if she’s about to speak. when she doesn’t find the words, she closes her mouth, but eventually says, “nothing.. i don’t know,” she nuzzles deeper into paige, “you. everything you are.”

paige stills. “what do you mean?”

“just.. the type of person you are. the way you play, how you support everyone, being kind even when you have no right to be. you’re just so.. everything. you’re everything,” she admits, her voice low as she grips paige’s shirt harder, “there’s not one thing i don’t like about you.”

paige feels her breath hitch, her heart racing at an abnormal rate. she leans back enough to search azzi’s dark eyes, a mix of surprise and vulnerability reflected back at her. without thinking— similar to the past times like this— paige closes their distance and starts showering azzi with kisses all over her cheeks and forehead.

azzi chuckles, her other hand coming up to rest on paige’s back. she squirms under the affection, but paige only continues, planting slower kisses on her temples and nose, reveling in the warmth of the moment. she dares to let her lips trail down her jawline, sucking ever so slightly, before moving to azzi’s neck. she connects her soft lips to every inch of her skin, expressing her way of appreciation towards the younger girl’s words. god, did she love her.

“az…” a kiss, “i..” another sloppy kiss, “fucking..” another, “love..” yet another, “you.”

azzi’s eyes widen slightly, surprise flooding her features. she bites her lips, trying to suppress a grin. “oh, stop it,” she giggles, clearly not taking paige’s words seriously. paige doesn’t love her like that— the way azzi loves her. she can’t, can she?

paige pulls back, a pang of hurt spreading through her chest. it’s no shocker azzi doesn’t say it back, let alone take her seriously. even though she means every last word.

the duo change out of their game gear and into cozier clothing. they settle into paige’s bed, propping themselves up with pillows. they decide on a movie— a romcom, how fitting— to watch before heading out. azzi, being the type of girl she is, quickly falls asleep against paige’s shoulder, not lasting five minutes once the movie began. paige takes the time to observe azzi’s natural beauty; her soft lips that she desperately misses, her curls pulled back into braids, her peaceful expression. she plops a long kiss to her forehead before returning her attention to the movie, letting the freshman get her much needed rest.

after the movie ends, paige picks up her phone checking the time— nearly 8:15 in the afternoon. she gently shakes azzi until her eyelids start to flutter open.

“time to get up,” paige whispers.

“why?” azzi mumbles, still half asleep. she rolls over, snuggling deeper in the blanket.

“we said we’d go to ted’s,” she says, “they’re probably already there.”

azzi groans, rubbing her sleepy eyes. reluctantly, she drags herself out of paige’s bed, walking straight to her closet. azzi borrows a white tank top from the older’s girl clothing, paired with black sweatpants she had previously changed into. paige keeps her outfit the same— a uconn hoodie with similar sweatpants. however, she makes sure to clip on the silver cross necklace azzi had gotten her for her 19th birthday, when she turned away.

they head out of the dorm, making their way towards the front doors. the night air cool against their skin, a mix of energy and thrill buzzing between them. paige can’t help but steal short glances at azzi, dragging her eyes over her outfit of choice that does her good in all the right areas.

walking into the bar, the pair scans the crowd in search of the familiar faces belonging to their teammates. the lively atmosphere hits them— a swirl of laughter, music and the clicking of glasses.

“paige! azzi!” nika’s voice cuts through the ongoing conversations around them, calling them over.

they make their way towards their table, eyeing a cluster of their teammates, drinks in hand and animatedly chatting. they greet their friends with warm smiles and playful banter as they settle in empty chairs, right next to each other. the table orders another round of shots; each player takes one, feeling the burn down their throat.

after a few minutes of easy conversation and more shots, azzi leans in closer to paige, her voice barely audible over the loud music. “wanna get another drink?”

“hell yeah,” paige nods. she places her hand on azzi’s lower back, guiding her through the dancing crowd.

“can i please have a dirty shirley temple?” paige politely asks the bartender, leaning against the counter slightly.

azzi does the same, but turns to face paige. “i’ll have the same.”

the bartender nods, throwing the towel over his shoulder and reaching for two clean glasses. paige catches azzi’s gaze, “what?”

azzi smirks, feeling a little tipsy by this point. “you’re really pretty, you know that?”

paige feels her cheeks heat at the compliment, both surprise and flattery washing over her. “you are, az. you’re the one turning heads tonight.”

azzi laughs softly, the sound warm and inviting. “not like i care,” she raises her eyebrows.

“why is that?” paige tilts her head.

azzi’s eyes rack over paige’s frame, taking in every inch of her, “just not interested in anyone.”

paige hums, trying to hide for disappointment. a minute later they gather their drinks, thanking the bartender. azzi leans in, her lips brushing paige’s ear, “unless you wanna change my mind?”

paige stills, her heart racing at the challenge in azzi’s voice. she grips the brunette’s free hand with her own, dragging her back to their table in the far corner. she positions herself against the wall, azzi right in front of her. she takes a long sip of her shirley, before setting it down on the table beside her.

paige searches azzi’s eyes as azzi follows her movements, taking a drink from her own. the blonde takes a breath, the air thick with anticipation and tension. she leans forward, her voice low, “maybe i will.”

azzi meets her gaze, a teasing smile playing at her lips. “and how would you do that?”

the words hang in the air, charged with possibility. paige remains quiet, eyes exploring azzi’s frame. her gaze roams over her chest, the slight cleavage showing and her tanned stomach.

“why so quiet, paige? did i—“

“stop talking,” paige states before closing the gap between them, connecting their lips in a deliberate, firm kiss. god, did she miss the feel of azzi’s lips on hers.

azzi wraps her arm around her waist, pulling the older girl closer. paige groans into her mouth— azzi responds almost instinctively, deepening the kiss and adding her tongue in the mix.

“god, az,” paige whimpers, pulling azzi impossibly closer. she feels the alcohol coursing through her veins, although this kiss— for her, atleast— has nothing to do with being a little drunk.

azzi hums against her lips, tugging her ponytail gently. she pulls back, disconnecting their lips, but still close enough so their foreheads are touching.

“hey, remember that one time you rated our kiss a six?” paige says, smiling.

azzi lets out an airy laugh, the corners of her lips rising, “yeah.”

“would you say this one was better?”

azzi grips the blonde’s arm, “maybe like an eight.”

paige’s lips gap, “oh, fuck you,” her voice full of sarcasm, pushing azzi’s face gently away.

azzi chuckles, removing her touch from the older girl. paige rolls her eyes but can’t suppress her nagging grin. they linger in the moment, the tension still crackling in the air. as if a switch flipped, the mood shifts.

“okay.. let’s not make this weird,” azzi says, stepping back and crossing her arms over her chest.

paige masks her disappointment with a nod. “right, we’re drunk— we’ll probably forget it tomorrow.”

azzi forces a smile, her cheeks still flushed from their kiss. they resume their casual banter, but an unspoken understanding lingers around them. the thrill of the moment dances around them, even as they act like nothing has changed.

azzi chats with nika, growing farther and farther from the blonde. but paige’s mind still remains with azzi as she watches her interact with others. she tries to fool herself by repeating over and over she’ll forget their kiss by tomorrow, but she knows she won’t ever forget— she can’t.

[zuppizup]

Rayllum, 10 babies and Xadian family planning

I’m trying to post the next chapter of Dark Alternative, but AO3 is very wonky, so you’re going to be subjected to my rambling thoughts on my new WIP for Work in Progress Wednesday.

So, over my vacation, I’ve been plagued by post-season 7 fanfic ideas. Short fics, obviously. No more than three chapters, as usual.

What’s got me intrigued right now, is how the continent of Xadia, or at least, a select group of people, will manage with living with the knowledge that Aaravos, in some form, is coming back in seven years. How would that affect politics and society, as well as the individual characters and the choices they make knowing that?

The regular folks would struggle to miss that whole eternal darkness and dead creatures thing that happened, but what do they know about exactly what went down?

And what do they know about what’s to come?

You know me, I’m a Rayllum person, so pretty much any fic of mine is a Rayllum fic, and this current idea is focused on how this particular threat affects the next stage of their lives.

Without a doubt, when we last saw Rayllum they were totally committed to each other and are fully ride or die… but how would that devotion relate to their future, in particular, the subject of children?

Now, I’m an angster in my deep dark heart, so while I’m sure many people could conceive of a fic where Rayllum are secure in their ability to defeat Aaravos come round two, that ain’t where my brain was ever going to go.

Rayllum are in love and clearly want a future together. Callum was openly planning a quaint little one in the Silvergrove before they were rudely interrupted by the whole end of the world dealio.

So, where does that leave them now (in my angsty reality anyway)?

In their youth, they both leaned into their more paranoid natures (Rayla leaving without Callum in TTM and Callum getting physical with Soren in season 4), and while they’ve both grown and matured since then, would such a threat as the world ending be enough to bring that paranoia right on back?

Which leaves me with my current fic planning conundrum.

Assuming Rayllum decided to forego the whole having kids thing until Aaravos is imprisoned again, how likely is it that they could plan when to have a family.

I’ve seen people say that the world of The Dragon Prince is in a medieval setting, and so people had children younger then, which, aside from not being the entire story, doesn’t feel like it really applies to a world with magic and dragons, a world that lacks the sexism and gender roles that are also associated with medieval times or other more grounded works set then.

Additionally, looking at canon, I think it could be reasonably argued that some form of birth control is readily available in the setting. In fact, I think it’s likely multiple forms of birth control exist in the world of The Dragon Prince.

From humans to elves, we don’t see large families normally associated with the inability to plan a family via the use of effective birth control. The “largest” family we see are the Sunfire monarchs, with three children. Viren and Lissa had two children only. Sarai may well have had more children had she lived, but Rayla’s parents spent multiple years at the Storm Spire and she remained an only child.

I can’t imagine there’s much in the way of entertainment at the Storm Spire either. Sure, they could abstain or get creative, but oof, hasn’t enough been asked of them?

Even looking at prior generations, we do not see large families. Given the closeness in ages of the siblings we know of, it also seems unlikely to me that children were lost in childbirth or to childhood illnesses.

To me, it seems far more likely that family planning is active in Xadia and would be a tool Callum and Rayla could exercise.

Clearly, no birth control is infallible (or I guess it can be, magic and all) and I assume Miyana’s twins were unplanned.

Personally, I head canon Rayla herself was an oopsie baby in order to further explain the complications of her parents being called away to join the Dragon Guard.

Where am I going with this? I don’t even know anymore.

I suppose, to me, it’s not a foregone conclusion that in seven years Rayllum would have a kid (or indeed multiple). The setting of the world doesn’t imply that it’s particularly difficult to prevent pregnancy. In fact, the small families imply to me that family planning is a cultural norm among elves and humans.

Faced with the imminent threat of Aaravos’ return, would Rayllum plan to start a family? Certainly, people put off having children for far lesser reasons.

We also don’t know how using dark magic, even in that limited capacity, has affected Callum and the potential for him to get possessed again. It was clearly enough to physically mark him, but does that go deeper?

Would imprisoning Aaravos once again result in an inevitable possession?

Not great when Dad gets taken over and abandons the family.

Or worse, Mum has to take him out.

Angsty though!

As usual, I’ll be doing my own thing in my fics, but I’m interested to see where Arc 3 goes with this (optimistically assuming we get it). There are a lot of factors at play to explain why we might see a lot of the characters in a state of stasis. Seven years isn’t that long when you’re facing the world ending, after all. Particularly when you’re likely to play a very active part in trying to stop that returning apocalypse.

So, which way to go? I see the angst potential in both.

On one hand, you’ve got the pain and desperation of protecting your kid from a returned Aaravos, or perhaps worse, a possessed Dad.

But on the other, you’ve got two people who likely want to take the next steps in their lives, but feel the pressure of a ticking bomb haunting them and potentially preventing them from moving forward.

Either way, bring on the pain.

[irrealisms]

Hey so I want to get into lifesteal. I don’t exactly feel like watching hundreds of hours of vods. I did also watch one of the three hour long summaries by one of the members but most of it went right over my head. At this point I’m mainly interested in watching pangi’s and clown’s pov. Could you catch me up with the lore and maybe recommend a few vods?

absolutely!!! the first thing i'll say is that lifesteal is sort of like hermitcraft or the life series (if you're familiar with those), in that it has multiple seasons, each of which is on a different server and comes with new teams/plotlines/builds/etc., although they do sometimes reference past seasons. so if you want to only watch some seasons and not others, that's an option! both pangi and clown joined in s2 and are still members today in s6; clown is imo most famous for his s3, which is where clownzy comes from.

(if you don't want to watch hundreds of hours of vods but don't mind watching like a hundred hours of edited videos i also have playlists of all the edited videos buuuuuut i assume that you do not want to do that either lol. i'll link the playlists of Just clown and Just pangi povs though bc those should b shorter!)

the good news is that clown doesn't really stream and does make edited videos, and pangi is also pretty good at making edited videos. the bad news is that pangi streams a lot. the other good news is that i love Talking About Lifesteal.

uhhhh first off. some edited-video playlists:

clownpierce s2 (11 videos, 2.5 hours)

pangi s2 (2 videos, 15 minutes)

clownpierce s3 (9 videos, 3.5 hours)

pangi s3 (5 videos, 45 minutes)

clownpierce s4 (3 videos, 1 hour)

pangi s4 (10 videos, 2 hours; has some videos not by pangi if they are relevant to pangi's story)

clownpierce s5 (7 videos, 3 hours)

pangi s5 (2 videos, 30 minutes)

[there are no clownpierce videos for s6]

pangi s6 (16 videos, 2.5 hours)

general overviews of the seasons and whether/how much i recommend them:

i quite like clownpierce's s2; it's kinda old and a bit messy, it's from when he and lifesteal really blew up as youtubers, and also from when he was cracked at crystal pvp. he's very involved in the ~main plot, between the M.O.B. (clown's team) and the Poggies (parrot's team). he gets some delightful monologues and fun moments. if you have derangements about Content and Narrative within mcyt the way i do i definitely recommend his s2. pangi ... only joins halfway through s2 and doesn't really do much lol

clownpierce's s3 is REALLY good. there is a reason that clownzy is the #1 lifesteal ship on ao3, and it's because of clown and branzy's s3. i personally prefer branzy pov of s3 tbh but clown pov is also quite good! evil clown runs casino, falls in love, does a lot of scamming and murder. very good imo. pangi's s3 is good but kind of forgettable imo, although it (especially the last video) is good as leadup for...

pangi's s4! once again i REALLY like pangi's s4. (not to brag but you can spot me in the twitch chat of one of his videos.) he gets very involved in the plot this season; he starts shit with the NPPP, clownpierce, and team awesome, in that order, and has a deeply messy relationship with princezam, including "princezam literally flying to the netherlands and using pangi's minecraft account to give pangi's hearts to his enemies", "princezam pretending to be on pangi's side when pangi declares himself king only to actually be double-agenting", and "pangi traps a suicidal princezam in bedrock". love those guys. and pangi's s2-3 (but ESPECIALLY the princezam empire) sets up their friendship a bit more if you end up interested in them! you can skip the valentines date & escape room if you are primarily watching for major plot events, they're very filler-y, but they're a fun time and they were pangi videos from s4 so

clown's s4 is. fine? it's got one video of "this event is also covered in the pangi playlist" (shades vs clown duel) and two videos that are fun for clown but pretty disconnected from The Rest Of The Server. that said if s3 got you invested in clownzy you should check out I Trapped Him In Minecraft's Safest Base. clown basically did not log on for most of s4 and it shows ToT

pangi's s5 is another. it's fine? it's really really short. it is literally two videos. one of my favorite s5 streams that never went anywhere or got made into a video is related to pangi but it, uh, never went anywhere or got made into a video lol. tl;dr: he and zam are teammates this season! for real this time and they aren't going to have a big dramatic breakup!!! this lasts...about half the season until they have a big dramatic breakup (not shown in the youtube videos, which are all set before that). he also got involved in some Dragon Egg Shenanigans and started some shit with subz early-season but nothing huge.

clown gets more involved again in s5! he's not quite as involved as he was in s2-3 but he is There for a lot of stuff: he makes the PMC with Minutetech, Leowook, and Sort Of Branzy, doesn't log on for a while, logs back on to help with the scavenger hunt during void arc (aka "do our scavenger hunt or else we turn all of spawn into void"), and then betrays the PMC for end-of-server. there's some good stuff in there imo.

pangi's s6 is ... mostly just Silly Bits rather than Getting Involved, both in videos and vods. that said it might be worth watching some of it as a realm viewer bc it's the origin of his current bits--eg the therapy thing is a lifesteal s6 original!

in terms of character stuff about the two of them:

with clown there are a couple things i want to talk about. the main thing everyone talks about is clownzy, and i'd also like to talk about the broader phenomenon that creates clownzy, which is that clown really loves having a Little Guy: someone who's kind of pathetic and bad at pvp, so that clown can Protect Them and be a little threatening to them and even more threatening to their enemies. the other thing i want to talk about is actually not clownzy-related? clown likes (and is quite good at!) playing evil menacing villains, but he's in many ways a believer in politeness and fair play; he's a very gracious loser, to the point where lifestealers have said before that they feel kinda bad when they win against him, and he tends to strongly favor fair fights over traps or exploits. which is interesting to me! uhhhh another thing that's interesting is that (as is the case with many/most lifestealers) his videos tend to editorialize; his s3 especially stands out to me for this, for a few moments but one that stands out to me is that when mr. cube successfully rigs the casino against him he just cuts this out of his video even though he's got the moments right before and right after it in his video.

with pangi something that sticks out to me is .... well first of all i could talk about his relationship with zam for aaaaaaages. there's a thing there of. he and zam are quite close ooc, and so zam tends to take him for granted as an ally, even when zam treats him quite poorly and doesn't prioritize him? this was most obvious in s4 but i would say even in s5 when they teamed up again uhhhhhh zam does very much (a) find another team that zam ends up much closer with (b) plan to spawnkill pangi. but pangi's still very much in a position where his strongest/closest relationship is usually zam. there's also a thing where he's currently known as a Silly Lighthearted Bits guy and not someone who gets seriously involved in the LoreTM and i think sometimes people forget that this wasn't always true? but even in s4 when he was much more involved in things there's some level of disconnect; in late s4 there was a lot of "major developments happen while pangi's asleep, the next day zam catches pangi up on everything that happened". and i would also argue that all of this is v related to pangi being european time zone and lifesteal being overwhelmingly american. it's harder for pangi to form strong bonds or get super involved in things when people are just... not online at the same time as him.

uhhhh also if u just want to jump in w s6 u can do that. pangi hasn't had any Big Lore this season you can just start watching him. go for it. clown doesn't really stream it bc he hates us but he hasn't done much in s6 so far so if he starts doing stuff, again, you won't be missing things, u can just jump in

i was going to talk more about the lore for each season beyond whether i recommend it, since you mostly wanted me to give summaries that catch you up, buuuuuut this post is already absurdly long. most of my favorite pangi vods either got made into videos or i mostly enjoy them for other characters (e.g. there are at least three pangi s4 vods i really like because zam is being incredibly suicidal in them lol) BUT. have the princezam-pangi divorce vod from s5 in which zam tries to spawnkill pangi bc zam needs hearts and pangi gets away and then they argue for like an hour. this is the aforementioned stream that never got made into a video. i know it is a zam pov stream but i really like it for pangi as well :3

if you prefer vods to edited videos and want me to recommend a few others that did make it to videos, or if you want a more in-depth summary of any of the seasons: just send another ask and i will happily yap more!!! this is kinda all over the place bc i'm sick rn but i will do my best. i am torn between "i hope this wasn't too long" and "i am worried it should have been significantly longer in order to actually answer your questions abt lore instead of just linking videos" lol but ! as i said feel free to just, send another ask, u have no idea how excited i was to get this ask, i love talking about lifesteal ^w^

[flightfoot]

hi there! i’m not entirely sure if you’re okay with people asking for fic recs, and if you’re not please feel free to ignore this!! but i really value your opinion on things and was wondering if you knew of any good fics of ml lovesquare domestic fluff lol. i would love to hear about what you personally enjoyed! :)

Oh yeah, sure! I don't know whether by "domestic fluff" you're talking about just fics that have Adrien and Marinette be married and aged-up, or whether you also just mean more generally Lovesquare fluff of them hanging out with each other. I'll see what I can do.

---

48 Hours To Make You Love Me by @mysticraven20

“When did you stop?” “Stop what, M’Lady?” “Stop loving me?” When two heroes miss the minibus for their winter get away with the gang they have no other choice but to make their way to the resort by themselves. After avoiding their feelings for years, a freak snow storm makes them reconsider more than just whether to carry on driving. Luckily, they find a quaint little bed and breakfast where suddenly they’re thrown into a situation where their feelings can no longer be held back; but, is it too late? The interference of an elderly couple after an eavesdropping accident helps both Adrien and Marinette come to terms with their feelings and their actions. Through movies, hot chocolates and snuggling to keep warm, Marinette wonders if it’s possible to make Adrien love her again, and more so can she do it by the time they need to leave their little sanctuary?

This just has a lot of adorable Adrienette shenanigans, with a fun time travel twist that had me inwardly squealing XD. If you want some Lovesquare fluff, this is a good one.

---

When Bunnyx Brings A Baby by DruWho

Marinette thought she was up to any challenge. She was Ladybug after all! But when Bunnyx arrives with a baby in her arms asking her to babysit, Marinette quickly learns that Akuma battles are easy compared to taking care of a baby. A baby that seems to know her and for some strange reason… Adrien?

An entry in the “Lovesquare has to babysit their future children” genre! This is just adorable.

---

Patrolling with a friend for Christmas by @seas-of-silver

Adrien just wanted to gift his Lady some time off and hang out more with Marinette during the festive season - it didn't exactly go to plan, but somehow ended up… better?

This was adorable! Chat Noir tries to give Ladybug a break by recruiting Multimouse to replace her on patrols for a bit, and Ladybug returns the favor by recruiting Aspik to replace Chat. Yep, it’s Snekmouse!

---

I know there's been pain this year (But it's time to let it go) by @ninadove

“What? Nooo! Adrien doesn’t hate Christmas.” “Are you absolutely certain? What was he like last year?” “Well, he —” Marinette furrowed her brow, scanning her own memories. Of course she was absolutely certain. At least, she thought she was. Okay — she could not ignore that Adrien had run away from home that night, wandering the snow-covered streets to escape the freezing cold of his own home. Nor could she brush away the disintegrated Morris column, cataclysmed for the crime of bearing his own face. Oh, and the shaky videos circulating on YouTube. That musical number was… Concerning, to say the least. Still, it was no smoking gun. Right? “Oh my god,” she squeaked, plopping down against the counter. “Adrien hates Christmas.”

I love Marinette and Felix doing their best to cheer Adrien up, it’s adorable. Especially Marinette’s attempt. It’s very Marinette, I laughed out loud XD. There’s a lot of senticousin bonding here, so if you like that, this is a good one to check out!

---

Lost Little Kitten by soliea0death

Monarch hasn't been seen for a while, but that doesn't mean that Ladybug and Chat Noir aren't still needed as the heroes of Paris. Also, the new holder of the rabbit miraculous may need some more practice when dealing with time travel. One-shot Ladynoir ;);)

This is adorable. Ladybug and Chat Noir find a toddler wandering around and try to find her parents, to no avail, so they decide to take care of her (well Ladybug said she was gonna leave her with Marinette, but you know what that really means). Of course Bunnix had to come to collect her since she was displaced from time, but neglected to say who her parents were…

Anyway this was adorable, and I loved the explanation for how, exactly, the little girl ended up in the wrong time period.

---

Miraculous Conception series by @ladynoirfanao3

First fic: The Power Of Creation

Everyone knows that Ladybug's cure fixes everything after the destruction wrought by Shadow Moth's akumatized villains. After an akuma with an unfortunate power leaves Ladybug and Adrien in an awkward position, Marinette has never been happier to simply forget. However, she soon discovers that her miraculous ladybugs have a limitation on their curing ability: a limitation that puts her in a situation she never expected to be in.

So basically, Ladybug and Adrien run into each other just as an akuma makes everyone in the vicinity extremely horny, and when they both start remembering things again, they’re in a pretty... compromising position. But it’s just an akuma so they put it out of their heads, until Marinette discovers she’s pregnant and has to decide what to do about it, whether to keep the pregnancy, tell Adrien she’s Ladybug and is having his baby, what to do with the earrings when she’s too pregnant to be Ladybug, etc.

I really enjoyed it! Just watching Ladybug and Adrien try and navigate the situation, especially with secret identities thrown into the mix.

The main fics in the series are basically the same story, it’s just that the first one is from Marinette’s perspective, while the second one is from Adrien’s. The Power of Creation is rated M while the Power of Destruction is rated E, but for both fics it’s just rated that for a single sex scene that occurs in the fic (with it being the same sex scene in both fics, just told from two different perspectives).

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Fate, Destiny... A Hamster by @mostmagical

After finally moving into his very first apartment per Ladybug’s suggestion, Adrien stumbles upon something no movie or TV show could have ever prepared him for: someone else's hamster. At least now there’s an excuse to talk to the new neighbor. (Adrinette Never Met AU)

Funnily enough, this is based on a true story. Specifically, the author’s own experience of having her hamster run out and be found by a neighbor.

Anyway, this is adorable! Marinette and Adrien become smitten with each other extremely quickly, with Marinette’s hamster keeping giving them reasons to talk. Very effective wing-hamster, that one XD.

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Villainous Matchmaking by @nedjsmlfavsmlfavs

When Paris’ favorite domestic terrorist realizes how Ladybug feels about his son, he comes up with his greatest plan yet: using Ladybug’s extremely obvious crush on Adrien Agreste to akumatize Chat Noir. A Ladrien/“platonic” Ladynoir fic

This is adorable and hilarious. Gabriel keeps on “accidentally” releasing things which makes it looks like Adrien and Ladybug are a couple in an effort to make Chat Noir jealous, while Adrien and Ladybug ae just over-the-moon about getting to spend time together and finding out that the other person loves them XD.

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Every Heartbeat by epcot97

Reeling from a brutally difficult day, Marinette finds her life becomes amazingly complicated after impulsively inviting Chat Noir to spend the evening with her. But when the suave feline begins to weave his way into her heart, she realizes rather quickly just how conflicted her feelings for her partner truly are. (part of MariChat May 2021)

Okay so I’m cheating on this one just a little. This story was originally uploaded in 2021, but was taken down and then reuploaded in 2023. I didn’t read it the first time around, and I really enjoyed it and this is my list, so screw it, I’m including it.

Really lovely Marichat fic here! Gabriel fires Marinette from her designer job for unfair reasons, so Chat goes to comfort her and help her set up her own fashion business, becoming closer and closer as they do so.

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Skinny Dipping in the Seine by sparksfly

When Marinette and Chat Noir cross paths one stormy night, an unexpected friendship blossoms, and between the two of them they’re both able to admit what they’ve been looking for the most — freedom. Vowing to tackle all of the things they’ve never tried before, they set out on a series of adventures to complete their bucket lists.

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From School Bells to Wedding Bells by @linnieluna

When the superhero duo takes on another exhausting fight against an akuma, Chat Noir does what he never hesitates to do and takes a hit for his partner. The problem being: neither of them knew what power the akuma possessed. That is… until he is transported into the future. More specifically, to his friend Marinette's wedding.

Ah I love time travel fics! Older!Marinette’s surprised, Younger!Adrien’s bewildered, and Older!Adrien is off knowing exactly what happened and giving his younger self some subtle heads-up.

It gives Adrien something to look forward to, to cling onto, through bad days in the future at least!

---

The Power of Love by @nedjsmlfavs

In which Ladybug announces that she’s pregnant via her long term boyfriend and Chat Noir is a supportive partner. After all, he can hardly be upset when he’s been dating his Princess for years! A different take on the show’s tagline (“The Power of Love Always so Strong”) written for Valentine’s day 2023.

This is just a sweet, fluffy fic about Ladybug and Chat Noir finding out they’re having a baby, revealing to each other, getting married, and becoming parents. Gabriel actually tries to do better here, as he does actually care about getting to know his grandchild, and realizes that he can’t undo this timeline without undoing his granddaughter’s existence as well.

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Until I Found You by @linnieluna

Working their way up to a settled adulthood, Marinette and Adrien, now 23, gain a reason to believe that they are expecting—way earlier than they ever planned. Still unwed, it evokes a revelation on Adrien’s behalf. Was it time to take the next step forward?

I loved the emotions here, how Adrien and Marinette reacted to the results of the pregnancy test, how complicated their feelings about it were - and how it prompted Adrien to take action. It’s a really sweet fic!

---

Valentine Surprise by choppa01

Adrien had the perfect plan for spending Valentine's Day with Marinette. Unfortunately Chat Noir has the worst luck when it comes to keeping to the plan. But it all works out in the end, right? Right?

This is adorable. Chat Noir keeps running into people who need help on Valentine's Day and sacrificing his own plans in order to help others. Luckily, all is not lost, even if everything he set up for his date is.

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The Course of True Love by @nedjsmlfavs

Dark Cupid haunts Marinette. Do the events of that fateful day mean that Adrien isn’t her True Love? With a little help from Chat Noir - who has absolutely no personal stakes in this matter - she’s sure to find out. She’ll also learn the unfortunate truth: the course of true love never did run smooth.

So this is adorable, there's some nice Ladrien dating in here! Though also some angst, Chat Blanc still takes place in this storyline, as does a Hawkmoth takedown, and all the angst and trauma that goes with those things. But with Marinette and Adrien together, the two of them can handle anything.

---

Perfectly Platonic (Unless...) by @frostedpuffs

After accidentally revealing their identities in less than ideal circumstances, Adrien and Marinette must navigate their newfound relationship as both partners and friends. Becoming best friends was a quick process, but when romantic feelings begin to bleed into what's supposed to be a platonic connection, their friendship starts to change in more ways than one. Surely it can't be that hard to hide their feelings from their best friend? (A post-reveal, pre-relationship fic full of romantic crushes, best friend shenanigans, and a whole lot of dumbassery.)

If you just want a straight-up romance slowburn with these two just somehow being convinced their relationship is platonic (or that the other person wants it to be platonic at least), you'll find little better to scratch that itch than "Perfectly Platonic (Unless...)". It's a little smutty and definitely earns its M rating because of that. If you want mutual pining, there's a ton of that here!

---

Season Of Giving by The_Rabbit42

As Christmas draws near, Adrien and Marinette want to find special presents to give their partner and... other partner. Combined with Adrien rediscovering what Christmas is without his parents, Marinette getting sick, and Alya and Adrien becoming closer friends, it's sure to be a memorable holiday.

I love this, it's a nice festive story, and I especially enjoyed Adrien and Alya getting to talk and bond and just... be friends with each other, rather than simply existing together in the same friend group! Oh, also, this takes place post-season 5, so Adrien's dealing with being an orphan now and all the complicated feelings that stirs up.

---

After The Bell Rings by fettuccine(LFA)

After a failed stint as a freelance designer, Marinette takes a job as a design teacher at a middle school. It's a lot more difficult than she thinks it'll be, especially with popular creative writing teacher Adrien Agreste residing right next door. It's not him that's the problem. He's one of the only things making teaching semi-tolerable. Afternoon venting sessions and cups of tea in the teacher's lounge quickly lead to becoming best friends. So, no. It's not him. It's the students relentlessly shipping them that's the issue.

You ever wanted a teacher AU for the Lovesquare? You got it! They're adorable, even their students can see they belong together XD

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Mamma Mia! by @ladynoirfanao3

When Marinette discovers she is pregnant, she is distressed to realize any of the three men she slept with in the recent past could be the father; Chat Noir, Ladybug’s partner and ex with whom she had gone through a tearful breakup - the mysterious Cat Walker, Ladybug’s rebound - or Adrien Agreste, Marinette’s current boyfriend. Bit of a twist on the base concept of Mamma Mia, where she doesn't realize all three potential fathers are, in fact, the same man.

So this is a fun little fic. I loved seeing Adrien and Marinette independently wrestle with the situation - Adrien, with maybe being the father of his former girlfriend's children (but maybe not), and Marinette, with needing to tell her former and current boyfriends that they might or might not be the father, and having to deal with a potential change in their relationship because of that.

Oh yeah, this fic is rated M, but the sexual content is relatively mild. The foreplay is detailed, but the actual sex is just implied.

---

Bend the World Around It by @kasienda

“Tell me it was real." She can’t look at him. She can barely stand the pain in his voice. She definitely can’t face it. “It wasn’t.” He shakes his head, and turns to her - his eyes swirling in their intensity. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. Tell me that you were there. We were there together, having the same dream.” She squeezes her eyes shut. She wants to lie to him. She needs to lie to him. But she can’t. Lying would be like it never happened. But it did happen. And if it’s all they get to have, she wants him to know it. “I think we were having the same dream,” she whispers, unable to meet his eyes.

So this is an adorable Jubilation aftermath fic, with Ladybug and Chat Noir both mourning the loss of what only they remember, of a dream that never was. And them deciding that screw it, it may not have been real to anyone else, but it was real to them. They remember those years together, and they want to live together, if only during the times when they can afford to be missing from home. They remember being happily married, and crave that life.

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Are You Kidding Me? by @11jj11

When Bunnyx appears, Marinette knows she has to be prepared for what may be her greatest challenge yet. Babysitting her future child wasn't exactly what she had in mind.

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Remember That Time When... by @mostlovedgirl-writes

Twenty-two-year-old Marinette Agreste was looking forward to the anniversary trip she would be taking with her husband Adrien that weekend. Those plans are derailed when she wakes up in her old bedroom… and she’s seventeen again.

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Pick-Up and Chase by SKayLanphear

After she accidentally trips into Adrien and apologizes about "falling for him," Marinette learns that he's no match for cheesy pick-up lines--whether they were unintended or not. And while she finds it flattering that he turns into a flustered mess with only a few words, Marinette comes to regret making him uncomfortable. That is, until she learns he's Chat Noir. At which point the phrase "just deserts" becomes a permanent fixture in her everyday plans. A story in which Adrien is flustered, Marinette is smooth as glass at dropping lines, and Chat Noir gets the romance he was always asking for--even if he doesn't quite know how to handle it.

[luvvyouforever]

saw your post about declan x reader x rupert and i can't stop thinking about them in their slutty little venturer tshirts ugh need to be sandwiched between them while they're bickering over who can make you feel better

ughhh the slutty venturer t-shirts! just for you anon <3

challengers - declan o'hara x reader x rupert campbell-black

synopsis: rupert believes he can make you feel better. declan disagrees and thinks he can. there's only one way to find out.

content: threesome (kinda?), afab reader, no m/m, rupert's got a thing for legs, no maud au so there's no infidelity, oral sex, handjob kinda, hickeys, praise, squirting

word count: 3k oops

author's note: this fic has been sitting in the drafts for a whileeeeeee. like before season 2 was even confirmed. enjoy! (ps i haven't watched challengers i just thought the title was fitting)

you think that maybe rupert and declan have forgotten about you sandwiched between them, but perhaps there were worse places to be than leaned against a doorframe, the heady scents of their cologne filling your nose.

"i just find it interesting that every time i come to look for our dear y/n, she's always right by your side, hmm?" rupert's posh accent echoed above you, his chest puffed.

"have you thought that she just prefers my company to yours, rupert?" declan's thick accent was so different to rupert's, but they mingled so well together. you briefly wondered how long you could still there still and quiet until they acknowledge your existence again.

"considering you're tipsy half of the day, i have reason to doubt that."

you would be standing there quietly for a long time.

it was painfully obvious to everyone, not just you, that rupert and declan harboured crushes for you. it had started when freddie managed to poach you from corinium to come work for venturer instead, and small gazes as you left turned into something you weren't even sure how to handle.

"you guys do know i'm standing here still...right?" you managed to slip out between the incessant firing off of insults.

their heads turned downwards, eyes meeting your own.

"of course, doll," declan said at the same time as rupert's, "could never forget you, sweetheart." they glared at each other, then returned to their attention to you.

it was a bit overwhelming, sure, but you held firm in your resolve to attempt to solve this issue. "i thought i could just let you both fight till you came up with a solution, but the plan has not worked evidently. and a girl can only take so much lustful staring and touches on the knee before she need something."

"i'm sorry if declan's made you uncomfortable, love," rupert said slyly, hand softly grazing your upper arm.

declan immediately lost the control he was exerting and faced rupert again with a loud scoff. "i'm making her uncomfortable? if anything, you are! who'd want a man that's slept with half the countryside giving her fuck-me-eyes?"

rupert couldn't help himself. "who'd want a man that hasn't slept with anyone in months giving her fuck-me-eyes?"

"oh, i'm sure i could make her feel much better than you ever could. just cause you're easy doesn't mean you're good."

with every word spat at each other, their shoulders squared and jaws clenched. if you didn't know any better, you'd keep watching the way their t-shirts flexed against their skin, swooning at the knowledge that it was you they were fighting over. but you had to do something.

it seemed crazy the second it popped into your brain. like something from one of those erotica books lizzie wrote. but the way rupert and declan were so naturally competitive, it might be the only way to solve this before they irreparably damaged the friendship they'd been building through venturer.

first you tried to clear your throat loudly which didn't work. they continued to mumble about their respective skills. then you tried saying their names. didn't work either. finally, with a huff of pure frustration, you grabbed each of them by the collars of their t-shirts and drug them further inside declan's home, effectively shutting the door behind you with your foot.

"jesus christ, you're like toddlers," you near-shouted. "you'd think a teacher told you that you have to share the toy the way you're arguing with each other. we have to solve this one way or another." you paused for a beat, letting the two men gather their composure. declan leaned against the kitchen counter, while rupert stood with his arms crossed. "i want you to listen to every word i have to say without speaking, okay? and when i am done, you are allowed to give me a response."

you waited for them to nod and once they did, you continued speaking.

"in full honesty, i can't choose between the two of you. you're both handsome and intelligent and i've enjoyed getting to know you. but i know you can't share. that would never work with the way you both square off like gorillas in a jungle," you said. your next words needed to be chose carefully. "however, i can't make a decision without test driving. so, we can settle this like adults in declan's bedroom, or i will walk out the door and forget that i ever found the two of you attractive in the first place."

true to their word, neither of them spoke until you gestured that you were done. declan was the first to speak up. "how long have you found me attractive, huh?"

"good lord," rupert whispered to himself, though both you and declan heard it clearly. "so when you mean settle this like adults..." he trailed off, posing a question for you to respond to.

"d'ya need her to spell it out for you?" declan asked, shoving himself off the kitchen counter. he sauntered towards you and his scent flooded your senses once again. his hand came to your lower back, dipping down just enough to graze your ass. "she wants us to prove which of us is better."

you let out a soft gasp, followed by a bite of your lip when his hand lifted then came back down on your ass, more harsh than a love tap, but clearly not as rough as he'd like to go.

declan chuckled. "think i'm already ahead of you."

"jesus, get in the bedroom already," rupert said, coming up behind you and replacing declan's hand with his own, pushing you towards the stairs.

the next few moments were a blur. before you knew it, your figure was posed on the middle of declan's bed, with declan and rupert waiting patiently at the foot.

"are there rules?" rupert asked.

you thought for a second. it was an impulsive plan, one you hadn't put much thought into. you shook your head. "nope. want you both to show me just how good you are since you're talking all that game."

declan and rupert looked at each other perhaps the most amiably the whole entire evening. while it was a competition, they seemed to have a silent agreement that your world would be forever changed after this.

declan moved first, his eyes already lowered and darkened with desire. having this view of you in his bed was driving him mad, pushing him to do that much better so he could always see you sprawled on the flannel sheets that smelled like him.

"can i take this off of you, love?" he asked quietly, fingers toying with the hem of your shirt. you met his dark brown eyes and nodded, biting your lip as his hands deftly removed the fabric. you could hear the hitch in both his and rupert's breathing.

suddenly, rupert's frame was on your other side, fingers barely touching the skin on your side. "you're so beautiful," he said. though declan made the initial move, rupert took it one step further and brought his head down to offer you a sweet kiss on the lips. declan could've growled, but he knew you wanted to end the fighting. he had to just find his own way to touch you.

as rupert continued to expertly move his lips against yours, declan's own mouth met your neck and upper chest. he left hot, open-mouthed kisses on your delicate skin and you whimpered into rupert's mouth.

declan continued his ministrations as rupert pulled away and tugged off his venturer t-shirt, revealing his toned, tan body underneath. he then slid his belt from around his waist and threw it down onto declan's carpet. he took a few seconds to figure out his next plan of action and when he saw just how enamoured you were with declan's kisses, he opted for the same strategy.

rupert leaned down and started trailing his lips along your stomach, up to the edge of your bra, around the seam, then back down again. he was careful not to invade declan's space while also losing himself in the way your noises reverberated in his ears.

declan, too, rose from kneeling and took off his own shirt. you managed to open your eyes and the sight before you could've sent you reeling immediately. rupert was toned and muscular while declan was broad and, for the lack of a better word, big. in that moment, you considered yourself the luckiest girl on the planet.

your hands flew to declan as he leant back down, fingers roaming the broad expanse of his chest. desperate to have him kiss you on the lips this time, you moved your hand to his chin and tugged him towards you. he picked up the message easily and moved his lips against yours eagerly.

so far, you distinguished that declan and rupert had two distinct styles. declan was desperate and eager and ready to take you as his own. his kisses were passionate and you could tell from his touches that he was exerting a lot of restraint. rupert, on the other hand, was more calculated. his kisses started delicate, like he was teasing you, drawing you in, making you crave more. it would be a harder decision than you thought.

once he was satisfied with the trail of kisses along your body, rupert ducked down, fingers teasing the band of your pants. you looked up at you, somehow meeting your eyes past declan's head, and asked a silent question. you nodded as best as you could, then turned back to declan. as rupert's hands tugged down your pants, revealing your bare legs, your fingers tangled in declan's curls.

you had become so lost in declan's overpowering kiss that you let out a sudden gasp when rupert's mouth met your thighs. you could feel his breath against your legs, hands squeezing your flesh. you realized his weakness then as he groaned with every inch his mouth met.

eventually, you pulled away from declan, desperate for breath. he looked at you with a powerful look, one that you could hardly tear away from. you did, though, and gestured to his pants. "don't leave me alone here," you whispered. he smirked and stood to undo his belt, then tug his pants off.

as if his arousal was not already evident, the bulge barely concealed by his boxers revealed it tenfold. your eyes roamed his body and with a smirk, your hand reached out to his core. at the sudden contact, he groaned, no, growled.

you let out your own noise of surprise at rupert's hands meeting your own middle. your eyes flew to his and he met them confidently with his own smirk.

"she's so wet for us," rupert said, drawing declan's attention towards your center. both of their eyes didn't leave your face as declan's hand reached out to feel for himself.

"absolutely soaking, doll," he added.

"please," you pleaded, though you weren't sure what you were asking for.

"what do you need, love?" rupert asked sweetly. his fingers replaced declan's and they teased past the hem of your panties.

"what would you like us to show you?" declan asked. it was evil, the way they seemed to suddenly team up with the purpose of torturing you. it was as if every ounce of their fighting left once your body was available to them.

"y-your mouth, please," you squeaked out, cheeks flushed both from embarrassment and pure heat. "you first," you added, gesturing to declan.

"don't mind if i do, pretty girl," he said, moving to situate himself between your legs. rupert went to move, but he couldn't help himself but watch as declan slowly removed your panties. "fucking gorgeous."

rupert moved to your side again, one of his arms propping up his body by yours, the other snaking around and entangling his fingers in your hair. he came in close and you could smell the spearmint on his breath from the gum he chewed. "i don't think i could ever tell you enough how beautiful you are," he whispered.

had it not been for declan's mouth being dangerously close to your pussy, you would've reeled at his romantic words. you hoped that your shining eyes would convey your appreciation enough. he seemed to have gotten the message and smiled as his hands moved to wrap around your back and undo your bra.

once you were fully bare before them, rupert offered the same vulnerability, moving upwards to take his pants and boxers down.

"fuck," you choked out, both at the sight before you and at declan's tongue licking a long stripe up your core.

rupert smiled and returned to your side again. "like what you see?" he asked, fingers curling under your chin. you nodded enthusiastically, as it became difficult to form words from declan's ministrations between your legs. you couldn't do much else but reach towards rupert's body, hands exploring the muscular build of his chest and shoulders and torso and everywhere. he offered the same, soft hands teasing up your sides and breasts.

declan's mouth was beginning to draw you close to the edge. he was close to making out with your pussy, and you were positive both he and you were soaked. despite the slight burn coming from his thick mustache, your back arched from the bed ever so slightly, offering rupert more surface to explore.

everything came crashing on you all at once, though, as declan's finger slowly entered you, curling up to the spot that made you shut your eyes so tight you saw swirls of color. to add to the torture, rupert's mouth had wrapped around your nipple, tongue teasing and slow.

"fuck!" you shouted. "s-so good. so good, declan." your praise egged him on further and he added a second finger. his tongue didn't let up until your thighs squeezed around his head and you came around his fingers with barely intelligible groans of his name.

reluctantly, he pulled away, leaving your hole clenching around nothing. you were correct about him being soaked. he was a vision of pure sin, nothing else. it had to have been one of the sexiest sights you'd ever see in your life.

"think you can do better than that?" declan asked.

rupert released his mouth with a pop and smirked. "of course i can." ever the gentleman, though, he looked at you first. "ready for me now, love?"

despite your better judgement telling you to breathe first, you nodded eagerly. they switched spots then, declan moving to your side. before he got comfortable, though, he stripped off his own boxers. you whimpered. how could you have possibly gotten this lucky?

rupert situated himself between your thighs and instead of diving in immediately like declan, he teased you with his fingers first. it was torturous, but so methodical, like he wanted to play you like an instrument. for a second, you watched him with lust blown eyes, before averting your attention to declan's hard cock just before you.

you felt greedy receiving all the pleasure from the two men. you looked at declan with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster and he chuckled lightly at your pleading. he inched closer, getting comfortable at your side.

"all yours, darling," he said quietly. you bit your lip and outstretched your hand. declan groaned as your skin met his and he was sure that he had never been so needy for someone before.

rupert's mouth finally fully latched on to your clit and you gasped instantly. your hand continued to stroke declan and he leant down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. his breath tickled your ear and his moans were like music. down below you, rupert's mouth worked expertly on your pussy, which was an entirely different sensation than declan's sloppy, but deliciously overwhelming mouth.

your thighs squeezed around his head, but it only made him that much more eager to please you. his tongue moved up and down, then teased your entrance. your stomach squeezed with the feeling of another orgasm coming on quickly.

"fuck, rupert. please keep going," you moaned out, arching your hips into his face further.

declan could feel himself getting closer too, but he didn't want to finish then and spend time gaining back his energy. he gained the strength to pull your hand away from him and offered a sweet kiss to your palm instead. he craned his neck down to place more kisses on your neck, and once he found a spot that seemed to draw an extra whimper from you, he bit down and sucked.

your moans were surely loud enough to hear across the countryside. it didn't matter though with the way declan and rupert were lavishing endless attention on you. it was the best you were sure you had ever felt. that knot in your stomach only grew tighter and you weren't going to last long.

rupert wasn't letting up, though. in fact, he copied declan's move and slipped two fingers in, curling them upwards over and over. with every pull, that knot tightened and tightened. if he didn't pull away, you were sure you'd pass out. he didn't though.

declan's mouth continued to leave hickeys down your neck and suddenly, waves of pleasure overtook every part of your senses. before you knew it, rupert's chest and torso were soaked.

"had to be such an overachiever and make her squirt?" declan asked, releasing from your neck with a harsh bite. you were breathing heavily, attempting to come down from the intense high you had been feeling. declan and rupert bickered quietly, before realizing that your head had lulled against the pillow.

"seems like i won that one, huh?" rupert asked, moving up the bed again to caress the hairs that had stuck along your forehead.

"oh, please," declan said. his large palm met your cheek and you looked at him with eyes that made him fall only deeper for you. "we haven't even fucked the pretty girl yet."

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every Day Until Season 5

Day 6: Parallels with Rovickie

Other than the obvious one--being that Vickie has a boyfriend and Robin is jealous/ put between them--there are actually way more parallels to Rockie than I originally thought, which is why I decided to make a whole post about them!

Again, I'm gonna be stating how intentional I think each parallel is. Even if it's not intentional, it's still a proof because it's the fact they are using the same tropes for two pairings shows that they are both supposed to be seen as romantic.

1. Being Between Them

Very very intentional. The framing is the exact same except Robin is not blurred while Will is blurred. AND the fact that it's a queer character between a straight relationship as well what the actuallllll freak. The difference is the fact that Wills blurred but Robin isn't. Robin is shown to be miserable in this scene, while Will is actually happy in this scene because he is seeing El again.

2. Basically the same conversation

I also think this is kind of intentional, it's tooooo similar not to kind of be inspired by Mike's speech. Obviously, Mike is more of a main character than Vickie so I think that they decided to make her do the same thing as him because the writers see this situation as similar. It's also interesting that she, in this conversation, is talking about how much she should have broken up with her boyfriend earlier. Maybe that gives us a little insight into what Mike is feeling too :)))

ALSO ALSO the bit at the end where Vickie goes "sorry I am rambling while there are people suffering" is literally THE SAME as what Mike says when he goes "it's so stupid given everything that's going on", basically showing they both don't view their relationships as important.

3. The Gay Food Jokes

The 'try before you deny' joke is already kindofsus, but it can easily be argued against as just a little throw away line that is just meant to be a lil bit of banter. Then you see the way that Vickie says "I've made a peanut butter on peanut butter monstrosity" while both queer women are talking to each other. You see the way this kind of sounds similar to Mike going "That's blasphemous, putting fruit on pizza" before the people around him go "Try before you deny" like HAJHDGAJHSGD..... So they have the potential to make queer jokes do they??? Ones that are kind of subtle enough that only queer people pick up on them?? Yessir

4. The Same Look

I don't know if this is totally intentional but it's so perfect <3 Just two gays giving a little smile before looking away quickly teehee giggling kicking my feet.

(im not even adding analysis at this point lmao)

5. 'Cool'.

(also couldnt get a caption for this one but u know what they're saying)

Oh my god I literally yelled when I came across this while watching the scene, not expecting anything else to come up ADGAHJSDG

This is intentional to me. I think the way that the camera is right on Robin's face, the way she says the words, she just seems so IN LOVE and you can definitely see the same (if not more) in love look on Byler's faces when they say the same words. If you can see Robin saying this to Vickie as romantic and as evidence for reciprocated love, then you should definitely see the same for when Mike and Will both say it to each other.

Now that we have gotten confirmation that Robin, Vickie, Will and Mike will all be in the same scenes during season 5, I am even more excited for more parallels between two different flavours of queer couple living their best lives <3 thankyew

GUYS IVE DONE SO MUCH BYLER ANALYSIS TODAY HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY BRAIN IS FULLLL EVERYONE CLAP ME ON THE BACK AHDGAHSJGDHA

[simplysinning]

Unexpectedly Tender

A night of pleasure where Astarion is the only focus for once.

Astarion X Reader (18+ themes) cw: Astarion with afab anatomy, Cazador mentions, sexual content MDNI, oral (astar!receiving), use of 'cunt', fingering, hungry yearning even though you’re already together, and slight religious imagery? (I want to worship him, respectfully.) No other description other than you being taller and a drow.

7.2k words

Drows aren't particularly known for being the nicest of races, especially those sworn to the spider goddess with an odd sense of humor, yet the vampire spawn can use himself to prove that people can change, if not for the better. Of course, that's to insinuate this drow in particular was never anything but agreeable since the moment they met each other, even after the rogue pointed a knife at you for some answers fresh from the naultaloid.

That's not to say astarion liked you from the start, no there was an underlying bitterness on the spawn's part from your weirdly infuriating need to play savior wherever you went. The needy didn't stay the needy for long, and something so simple as retrieving a stolen pouch turned into a full-on family rescue mission. The whole heroic, spring-into-action type was someone that tended to get on Astarion's nerves, though he used to see himself the type to once marry someone like that.

Well, when he was about…13.

Regardless, you can only imagine how stupid Astarion felt when he realized that he liked your inherently nice nature, a major contradictory personality to his, and eventually came to terms that those feelings were a given.

Naturally, there were some chaotic times courtesy of Astarion's occasional goading to make a decision for the group's entertainment betterment, but you always took the change of plans in stride. Never angry, perhaps disappointed (expectedly), but forever the friendly hunk of underdark you were.

So, Astarion had to catch his neck from whipping off its swivel the moment your voice dipped off into a low growl at the woman in front of them, your eyes narrowed in irritation.

It would have been easy for Astarion, with the woman's (slightly creepy) persistence even after his third refusal, to simply allow you to give the alright to bite her should you ask. After all, what was one little bite in comparison to a rare, powerful potion? It would have been fine.

…Right?

'Just a small moment of disgust to get myself through,' but, surprisingly, you just stopped the spawn's half step forward and snapped, "he said no."

The tick in your jaw, the way your voice held no room for the usual patience and kindness, and lastly, the way your eyes darted to Astarion's in a flash of concern. You spoke with the authority of someone seasoned, as if your little group of lost souls have always been together, every one of your words carrying a stern weight and finality.

"Where are you?" You murmur, your words gentle and cutting through his mind like a knife through butter. There’s a small, nearly chaste kiss to his bare shoulder, and it nearly startles him.

The hands which were once gripping the spawn's supple backside above the fabric of his pants are now resting against the small of his back, gentle and not pressing, just below his ritual scars.

Astarion, coming back to his mind with you in your shared inn room, relishes in how the arms encircling him hold kindly, unburdened by the tension of restraint should he not want to continue, and he eases a quiet sigh.

'You'll never be like the others…'

"I'm right here, my love," he responds, his voice light and airy, bare from the false seduction dripping from the tips of his fangs.

You plant a kiss to the other's neck, careful to avoid the jagged skin that had healed two centuries ago, and Astarion closes his eyes when he notices that too.

"Are you sure? Because we can stop. I'm fine with just talking, or something."

The spawn slides his hand up your back and it comes to a stop on the back of your head, his slender fingers toying with the shorter hairs. You pull your head back in response to look at the vampire, and Astarion uses the leverage to pull you down toward him. If the awkward angle for your taller frame is uncomfortable, you don't say and only allow Astarion to do as he pleases.

"Or," Astarion exhales, his red eyes darting to your lips, "something," and then he's pulling them to his. Your lips slot together, moving a little out of sync only because of the temporarily different level of desire.

Astarion has always been hungry and hasty when kissing, all tongue and teeth and starving of the safety and affection he so desperately craved for the last two hundred years, like it would be snatched away from him. And, with Cazador around the corner, it could all very well be. The mere idea of it, never being able to see you again, seeing your smile as you walk the familiar path to his tent in the morning to ask him how slept, is detrimental to Astarion's psyche that had only just begun to snap its scattered pieces back into place.

You like to take your time, give slow and tender pecks that gradually press firmer and open wider when you pick up on the vampire's need for more, but there's always a subtle hesitation; a looming question you're unable to truly verbalize.

'Is this really what you want?'

Astarion is aware of this, of your innate sense of overprotection for him, of his trauma from being an alluring plaything for Cazador. He would never forget the look on your face the moment he told you a fraction of the hell he had to endure, all flared nostrils and pupils constricted in anger, and he would never forget the way he felt a subtle throb in between his legs. That called a different problem into question, however.

There was a conversation you had before about Astarion's reluctance for sexual intimacy, and you made sure he knew that you understood and was indeed obeying Astarion's request of going as slow as he needed you to.

The spawn remembers how nervous he was when he told you that he didn't think he was ready to be intimate yet, bated breath between his teeth though the vampire had no need to breathe. Being used for his body for so many centuries essentially defiled Astarion's views on sex, and he severely hoped you would understand his hesitance.

He couldn't deny that everything stirred at certain things you did, the ways in which you looked at him, how quick you moved to protect him whether physically or other, but he (with your steady guidance) grew self-aware. Realizing that, after discovering his decimated self-respect and self-worth, he wasn't ready, and he had the option to say...no.

And he wanted you to know that he came to that conclusion, deciding it would only be fair since you bestowed him the grace for self-discovery.

"Even though I know things between us are different," Astarion provided a forced giggle, his lips wobbling in the corners, the facade beginning to melt away into something unfamiliarly vulnerable, "being with someone still feels…tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust and loathing. I don't know how else to be with someone. No matter how I'd like to." You hadn't said anything for a minute or so, and Astarion still mildly adherent to his ways of self-deprecation had assumed you began to doubt whether or not to continue pursuing...whatever you were moving towards, especially being so soon after your previous conversation of Astarion's 'affection' being self-serving and under a completely false pretense at first, but before he could voice, 'It's fine if you think twice about us', you spoke.

"Astarion," your cadence was deliberate and measured, choosing your words carefully, "I'm not going after you for sex, and if I gave you that impression, I'm sorry. I'm ready when you're ready, I mean it. We can be together without having sex at all, if that would make you happy."

Astarion breathed a laugh, astonished yet still a bit half-hearted. "Now, now," he chided playfully, his voice smooth, effortlessly persuasive, "that almost sounds like a challenge."

But he wanted to believe that. He did.

He does.

But, even Astarion has a breaking point.

It took a while, fuck, there was no doubt about it. Several nights of seduction falling away to mentally drifting off at the beginning and apologizing profusely afterwards when Astarion began to feel uncomfortable and backtracked, but those moments of retraction didn't matter. You never showed signs of annoyance or frustration, as if you knew that was his way of pacing himself-his starting and stopping-and it would ease the tension weighing the vampire's shoulders when he saw you were only ever concerned. Your face would always be calm, sometimes peaceful, but your hands would hover in the space between your bodies, indecisive and unsure if the man wanted your touch in those moments or not. At times he welcomed it, releasing a little sigh when your warm palms caressed his undead skin, and other times, he needed a bit of space. You never showed disapproval, if you harbored some, whenever he would push away and leave a gap between you. You only waited for him. You always moved to the rhythm he set; stopping when he told you to stop, going when he told you to go, and Astarion was sure if he asked you to give him your heart, you would carve it out with your bare hands and hold it out to him with a smile on your face. It would surely keep beating in his hands, the love you so clearly shelter for him taking root within your arteries and replacing your frivolous need for blood.

It was an odd thing, foreign, being in control of a situation after centuries of enslavement.

However, Astarion feels a shiver travel up his spine as he drinks in the groan you release into his mouth, not unwelcome.

Without breaking your kiss, the vampire walks forward, pushing you back with a hand on your chest, and you simply follow, allowing Astarion to push and push until your back collides with the cushions of the room's bed. The plain brown blankets ruffle softly, a pillow falls to the ground with a gentle thud, the mattress sinks underneath your weight as your elbows move behind you to prop your upper body, and then there's a moment of pause. Astarion's lips leave yours with a wet smack, a thin string of saliva curving in the very, very small space created by the separation, but Astarion watches you take one, two, two-and-a-half breaths before he reconnects them with a muffled moan. It's not necessary for him to breathe and he hasn't for the past two centuries, but he tries to be considerate of you.

You, content, take whatever the vampire gives you, filling and all-consuming and your lungs burning in your chest from the lack of oxygen, but you easily conclude that you would happily die here before moving away from him.

Your mind momentarily calls to the revive scroll resting in your pack, and there's a fleeting thought it might certainly come in handy tonight. Hands fumble for clothing, and when it all comes off, Astarion isn't sure where his body heat ends and where yours begin.

Everything is burning, throbbing, aching, and there's a steady pulse between the vampire's legs he can no longer ignore.

His head almost fights the motion to pull away, as if the mere notion is blasphemous, but nevertheless, Astarion pulls back and slowly opens his eyes. Your face beneath him is mildly obscured by a stray, silver curl, illuminated a pale yellow from the candlelight, but Astarion's vision clears the moment your hand delicately pins it behind his ear. Your fingers barely brush the elongated skin, but the vampire figures if his heart was still working, the action would have sent a considerable amount of blood to his cheeks.

"…You're so beautiful," your lips twitch upwards in the corners.

Astarion can't fight the urge to smile back, fangs and all, and his eyes, reminiscent of polished rubies and piercing, sparkle in adoration unbeknownst to him, darting back and forth from one of your eyes to the other. Though there's evident lust present, it becomes overshadowed by an unsure tenderness, your desires restrained in the taut of your neck, and the tips of your splayed fingers flex along the back of Astarion's knees. It's clear you're holding back, anxious to go any further despite Astarion's clear want, and the man knows that if he wanted to stop here even after going so far to be completely bare, you would let him and do so without complaint.

The vampire's thumb strokes your cheek absentmindedly, and your hands are on his chest, tenderly caressing the small indentations as if second nature.

"…So are you, darling,” the vampire kisses the tip of your nose.

The air is soft, your touches kind, and your breaths fan across the other's mouth acting as a heated, wine-scented aphrodisiac. But, as much as you soothe and woo him with cordial romanticism, you seriously need to get on with it.

So, leaning into the shell of your ear, Astarion gives you a nudge to do so. The pulsating is beginning to hurt at this point.

"Touch me," he sighs, and is able to feel the surprisingly violent shudder that racks through your body beneath him. "Please, my love," he adds. You hum. "…I am," you respond before pressing a wet, open-mouth kiss to the vampire's shoulder. "I will, fuck," you exhale, "I will."

The kisses start to travel the expanse of his skin, hot and occasionally pausing to suck and bite, up and down and wherever they can touch, trying to gauge his egregious zones, trying to see what's a yes or a no for him.

Pleasure blooms just below his stomach even though you had barely touched him yet, your fingers lightly tracing along the milky skin of his thighs spread across your lap. The pressure of your fingers gradually presses further but never restricting, never painful, only using Astarion's body as a grounding measure against your own raging urge to simply ravish the man on top of you.

'Not too fast,' you remind yourself, tilting your head backwards to reattach your lips to your lover's in a sloppy kiss Astarion happily accepts. 'Not too fast. Slow down, slow...'

You know Astarion can feel your arousal against the back of his thighs, but you stop yourself from grinding up into him, because this is all about him.

Astarion was sure he had never been this wet in his life, the nearly foreign sensation of tackiness between his thighs a bit of a sensational nightmare, and the need for release is essentially screeching in his brain, bouncing around his skull with unrestrained vigor, "touch me, touch me, fucking touch me!"

It's bordering on overwhelming and somehow feels under-stimulating at the same time. Foreplay was never a grace bestowed to Astarion while he entertained Cazador's newest sacrificial rat, them usually opting to put their own pleasure first above all else, so he wasn't entirely sure if the new experience is something he likes or hates. It feels like teasing, in a way, he supposes. Touching everywhere but where he so desperately needs, the pure torture of it all, yet it somehow makes everything better, more.

The buildup isn't bad, it's the waiting after that messes with his head.

You pull back, your half-lidded eyes staring up at Astarion, intense and almost predatory, and tug the spawn's hips forward an inch in a way that causes Astarion's heat to graze the warm skin of your lower stomach. The slight friction calls for a small gasp, a bout of pleasure flashing down the base of his spine, but things still.

"Can I...?" The question hangs off in the air, your hand, palm facing the ceiling, rests below Astarion's belly button and stops.

"Please," the spawn's eyebrows come together, now unafraid to display his frustration, and he begs, his voice tilting into a feral grumble. "Do something."

Astarion, even in the state he's in, doesn't miss the look that settles over your face the longer you stare up at him, your eyes narrow. It's shadowed, dark and hungry and wanting and in over two hundred years of being him, he finds himself unafraid to be at the receiving end of that familiar gaze. So many others sneered at him, licked their lips at the thought of mounting him as if he were nothing but this curly-haired elven beauty to be conquered, and he would let them, for Cazador. Some he would sleep with to possibly gain a sense of satisfaction, a small act of defiance to show that he could still enjoy sex on his own, but it usually ended up with this crushing ton of self-loathing on his sore back.

But, this time, it's different.

The look you're giving him sets him on fire, more scorching than the blistering flare of the goddamn sun, and his bottom lip slots between the front of his teeth in a last dash attempt to smother this pitiful thing of a choke gurgling atop the base of his tongue. He needs you; your touch, your fingers, your mouth, anything and everything he's been deprived of throughout all of this time. He's ready. Gods, he's ready.

And he commends you for your self-control, because Astarion is sure that he can't stop himself from having you now, not when you look at him like that-like you just want to fucking devour him down to the last strand of silver curl.

So, when your hand finally slips between his thighs and presses against his sweltering mound, your fingers gliding along his cunt with careful but firm precision, Astarion’s eyes nearly live up to his namesake. His back arches, his torso pressing into you so much your hand is almost squashed between the both of you, but you manage to keep the pace. There’s a silent determination ruminating from you, your motions; a promise to let him experience every gratification you have to offer and it’s clear that you’re not disappointing him. Your lover’s face falls slack, his mouth parting into a sharp ‘o’, and you resist the urge to lick at the tip of his fangs that peak under the edge of his kiss-bruised lips.

You concede, your eyes fervently follow a bead of sweat floating down the line of Astarion’s pallid neck, that no painting, nor sculpture, nor Gods can compare to your lover’s beauty. It could be a harrowing notion to others, some devout worshipers would probably sputter in indignation if you were to say that outloud, (Gale certainly would be up in arms to defend Mystra) but it remains an undeniable fact to you. His moans, uninhibited by rehearsed parade and uncomfortable deceit, spread across your face reminiscent of a sweetened vineyard swaying in the breeze that you can taste on your back molars. 

You decide, right here and now, that you worship only one man, and his name is brighter than any cosmic piece of heaven.

“I,” Astarion suddenly stutters, cutting through your glorifying thoughts, and you only now notice he’s begun to roll his hips against your hand, creating a quicker friction. “Oh, plea...” His plea dies.

“Tell me,” your head lolls to the side to catch Astarion’s eyes, but he’s too lost in chasing whatever he needs to feel, “tell me what you need so I can give it to you.” 

Unintentionally, your tone dips off as you get dragged further into the growing rigidity of your lover’s spine, the last part of your sentence dripping with desperate authority, and Astarion whines at the command in your voice that’s always so recognizable, but has him clenching around nothing in this context. This is better than he could have ever imagined, and his past sexual encounters, he gathers, don’t hold a fireball to you. There’s a volcanic simmer beneath his skin, a faint buzzing behind his eyes and the tips of his toes that leaves him both wanting to pull away and longing for more, and it's delicious.  

“What do you want, my love? You want me to go faster?”

You gauge his face, searching for any signs of discomfort or dissociation since you both hadn’t truly gotten this far without some form of regression, but you realize, with a swell of pride warming your chest, Astarion is completely enjoying himself. 

The vampire’s hips stall for a beat, the candlelight catching the jut of his hip, before he’s nodding, frantically, a few curls falling into his face from their usual sweep. They’re too pretty and frame his angular cheeks too well to brush away, so you leave them be, and instead choose to absorb this rare picture; an unpoised Astarion. 

Your wrist pangs, a cramp begins to form along your flexing tendons, but you’ll be damned if you don’t listen to his request and you speed up your fingers, the sound of sloshing wetness ringing beautifully in the middle of your ear like church bells.

You noticed when first getting to know the spawn that he carried this innate air of grace, from his years as an elven magistrate, you assumed, and even when he found himself flustered, there was always something graceful about it. So seeing him like this, keening for your touch and working himself along your fingers to clumsily chase a high he rarely got acquainted to, uncaring about how disheveled he looks…

“Yes,” he whines, “yes, I can,” he moans, “I can feel it..”

You let him do what he wants, what he needs, only keeping the pace of your fingers in their same, quick succession, lest Astarion say otherwise. The buildup is evident in the slow tremble of his thighs, in the hand he uses to instinctively reach out for you as he feels his orgasm steadily approaching, seeking a sense of ground amongst the unfamiliarity, and you promptly lean forward to allow it to snake around the line of your shoulders. Astarion’s head falls to your collarbone and his straight nose is tucking into the junction of skin beneath your earlobe, his other hand settling by his thigh and curling into a fist around the blanket.

Your eyes almost roll into your skull when his pants of ecstasy float into your ear; they’re so much closer, much more clear, and now you can hear a faint crackle, his voice rasping the longer he moans out into the dim room. 

“Gods, yes,” your lover whimpers, the sound going straight to your own arousal, “yes, yes!”

Astarion stills and it takes no magic tower mage to know the vampire’s orgasm crashed down unto him, if the sudden creamy texture pearling the tips of your fingers wasn’t indicative enough. His head tosses back, his back curving into a perfect concave ‘c’, and you lean forward to pepper the expanse of his neck with light pecks, your fingers slowing down to a lazy roll as an aid in helping the spawn on the come down. The sides of your thighs pick up the motion of curling toes and twitching kneecaps that are forced to keep themselves open on your naked hips, and a small smile stretches across your face.

Astarion’s chest is still, his vampiric attributes unable to provide him the need to take deep breaths, but his eyes are hazed, trained onto a piece of random ceiling tile. You sit against each other silently, holding him by the waist when his hips eventually stop twitching, and slowly pull your hand back, your wrist screaming in relief from being released of its awkward position. Your lover’s arm spasms, a false release of air hitching when you graze his sensitive clit.

“You okay?” You murmur, keeping your voice low to help Astarion pleasantly adjust. 

It seems to help, and your smile widens a bit when the man’s head lowers and his eyes meet yours, red irises little by little clearing from their orgasmic fog to focus on your face. It takes a minute, perhaps two-it could have been an hour for all he knows-but he eventually gets there, and his tongue darts from his mouth to salivate his lips before he simpers, knowing he probably looks extremely satisfied. You certainly notice it.

It’s an expression you’ve seldom seen on Astarion’s face save for when he finishes feeding from a particularly big bear, or you when you eventually gave him permission for your blood.

“I’m,” he pauses, “I’m wonderful, my love. That was…”

Your gaze falls to your hand, Astarion’s juices coating your fingers in a shine bordering hypnotic, and you nod. 

Astarion, now able to think in coherent lines of consciousness, is able to get a good look at you. He watches you, notices how your eyelids droop, your facial expression mirroring what he can only describe as melted adoration when your gaze languidly trails over his body before they flick up to his face. He’s seen that look so many times; admiration, but it’s never felt genuine before. There’s a warmth he receives from yours, one that washes over him and melts into his bones, forming his skin and shaping the very flutter of his lashes when you call him beautiful. The gentle touch on his waist pulls him back.

Your lips brush his, “my love,” and then they’re slotting back together. 

The kisses start lazy, relaxed and unhurried to simply have his mouth on yours, tongues dancing along each other in an easy rhythm even without music, but then Astarion feels your legs shift beneath him. He’s hiked further in your lap, but he simply lets it happen, assuming you need to adjust to get comfortable. Though, he comes to find that he’s sorely mistaken when you suddenly lean back, subsequently taking him with you. You both fall onto the bed, Astarion letting out an adorable, “umph.”

Neither one of you says anything, but you do lean forward to place a kiss to Astarion’s cheek, just below his faint beauty mark before you pepper his entire face. Your lips touch the bridge of his nose, his chin, above his smoothing eyebrows, essentially anywhere you could reach, and the domesticity of it leaves him speechless for once.

“My sweet,” you whisper, pausing in between every few pecks to speak, “can you do something for me?”

Astarion hums, his eyes closing when your lips find his neck, and you take that as a sign to continue.

"Can you get on top?" 

"I already am, my dear-"

"-I mean," you licks your lips, "on top…of my face."

"…Oh."

There's a high-pitched giggle that bubbles in the base Astarion’s  throat, involuntary but fleeting.

'Well,' Astarion thinks, his eyes widening, 'this is…also new.'

You, seeing how he pauses at the suggestion, move your finger in small circles on his hip in reassurance, and your eyes soften. "You don't have to, I just thought you might enjoy it."

"I," Astarion clicks his tongue, "I've just…never done that before."

A beat. "…No one has asked you to sit on their face before?" It's your turn to appear so incredulous, finding something like that so…so disrespectful. "Never?"

Astarion shakes his head, now beginning to shrink a little under your sudden bemused stare. He knows you aren’t mad at him, you’re never mad at him (which is why he tends to get away with minimal consequence), but he sees that your upset is genuine. And you are upset, because how can anyone deny this epitome of stunning, masculine monarchy, his ivory throne, adorned with anything less than the most lustrous jewels? What absolute madman, blind and deaf, surely, would give Astarion anything but which he truly deserves? Gold, silver, should fall between his slender fingers, molten and only his, the rarest silks and velvets hanging from his pallid limbs not unlike the knots lining a hangman tree; gorgeously morbid as he.

It makes you mad all over again, picturing those rabid animals all over Astarion, taking and mindlessly ravaging with no incentive to offer a modicum of benevolence. Hounds, the lot of them, soulless and only living to harshly breed the unwilling. How, your chest tightens as your anger makes way for a pang of sorrow, how much Astarion has suffered. You don’t want his torment to loom over him any longer, so you’ll just have to remind him; you are his, in his control. His to love, to break, to leave if he wishes it so. If he is to love you for the remainder of your long lifespans together, or if he is to simply use you to remember that he is more than the body that’s grown so foreign to him, so be it.

Your very soul clutches his, fist trembling, taut, and knuckles deathly white like a frightened babe clinging to their mother’s skirt; craving, clenching to prevent the scattered pieces of Astarion from slipping through your fingers. You’ll hold him forever, if he’ll have you. 

You will provide all you can, and accept all he’s willing to give in return, if anything. You can only hope that he receives you well and chooses you like you chose him.

Pushing those feelings down, you kiss your teeth before pulling the vampire's hips forward even more until he is basically sitting on your chest, the unexpected drag shooting a shudder of pleasure up his spine, and you smirk. Your strength often comes in handy at times. "We need to fix that. Now."

Astarion tries to hover at first, a bit too hesitant to allow his full weight to rest on your face even if his fear was a bit irrational; he’s seen you fight for Gods’ sake. And you aren’t having it. The grip on his hips grows unyielding as if they leave no room for further argument, and his puffy, flushed cunt is slowly lowering, taking its rightful place, against your open mouth. A stolen heir reunited with his true birthright, you surmise.

The pleasure that consumes you is almost too powerful, his taste flooding your senses and clouding your mind in an impenetrable smog of bliss, and you instinctively curse, your lips curling around the letters into his slick folds. Astarion releases a low whine, his head already falling towards the ceiling as if the fictional crown upon his head is too substantial, and he bucks his hips, relishing how your nose drags along his swelling bud. Your tongue explores at first, adagio to measure just where he might need you to be, but you find yourself indulging your thirst too quickly. It’s necessary, requisite, to feel his juices bead the tip of your tongue, his orgasm pooling down your throat essential for you to feel any sense of satisfaction for yourself, slurping and drinking and gulping like a man deprived for too long. Astarion’s body responds in kind; his hands reaching for you in the fray and tangling within your roots unceremoniously. It produces a moan from beneath him, the vibration against him causing a sound so ruined, it reminds you of a wounded sprite, but Astarion has never felt so safe. Even if your jaw practically aches as you attempt to inhale him (you’ll unhinge the damn thing if you have to), the man’s growing sounds spur you further, and Astarion briefly wonders if you’re truly trying to fucking eat him.

“Fuck,” he gasps, one of his hands releasing your hair to hold your forearm as it loops behind him to grip his waist.

Your hold is grounding, scalding, keeping him from getting too lost in himself, and he’s all the more thankful for it the moment your tongue slips further down his wetness to breach his hole, your nose nudging and grinding against his clit. He almost flinches away from the unexpectedness of it, but he gathers, that is what your arm around him is for.

“Fuck!”

Perhaps, Astarion’s eyes roll into his skull, this is the profound ascension Cazador is looking for; this feeling of your tongue splitting him open, lapping him along your tastebuds akin to a thirsting sinner kneeling in front of heaven’s locked gates. To him, this certainly feels no different than ascending to a higher power, and he swears he’s died-again-the moment your hand shifts to use the pad of your thumb to encircle his clit. His hips move on their own, burning from the strain but it feels so good, and rock back and forth, grinding.

You weren’t sure if you'd taken a single breath since he sat down, his thighs tightening on the sides of your face in a vice-like grip, non-verbally screeching at you to move ‘not a goddamn muscle’, not that it matters. Your view from between your lover’s legs, where you conclude your life was always meant to lead you, makes it easy to ignore the still of your chest, a dull scorch fixing around your stuttering heart as it struggles to handle the lack of oxygen. Astarion’s body glistens delectably, shiny from his sweat and arousal, and your eyes study the muscles in his stomach as they tense and twist and jump along with his keens and hisses of pleasure. Your lover’s movements titter the edge of desperate and feral, his hips rocketing along your face as if you were nothing more than an object to bring him to orgasm at this point.  ‘I’m not complaining,’ your eyes flutter closed. ‘Gods, I’m not.’

Astarion chases, following the catalytic pressure building in his stomach, tears forming behind his closed eyelids, and it goes up and up and up and-

His eyes fly open at a finger slipping past his entrance, nimble and thrusting and loudly coated in the slick of him. It’s deafening, how wet he is; it’s rich, nasty, and utterly debauched, but neither of you care. The air around you smells like sex and love and animalistic necessity, and the bed frame meets the wall in response to all of the movement.  “My darling,” Astarion cries, his voice wholly spent, raspy and sobbing. “My love, my sweet,” and he’s babbling. “Don’t stop, don’t-”

‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’

“Don’t-”

Astarion, with his vast vocabulary and overall knowledge from both his time as a spawn and original profession as a magistrate, finds himself unable to describe the sensations running through him. Everything is burning, his hips sting from their motions, his stomach feels tight, but there’s also something else; something deeper. It’s ardent, starting from the bottom of his feet and ending in his chest, and it makes him feel like something is going to happen, something powerful. It buzzes, pulsates, makes his body feel heavy, the pleasure coiling in the pit of his stomach like a spring ready to snap. It’s new and a bit scary, but he knows you’ll be here, knows you’ll protect him, so he lets himself fall.

Your lover goes rigid, silent, a moment passing where every muscle and flex of his limbs comes to a complete halt, before he’s moaning, drawn out and in higher pitch. Your eyebrows draw together in concentration, eyes crossing behind your lids as your own pleasure rains down on you, and the lower half of your face is drenched in your lover’s gushing climax. He’s squirting, and by the grace of the Gods is it succulent. It comes in waves, Astarion’s hips thrusting in time with each flood of his orgasm, and your mouth remains wide open to catch it all, guzzling, taking to him like a kitten to milk.

Astarion convulses atop of your face while you work him through, globs of tears sliding down his cheek, glowing under the slowly dying candlelight, and there’s a ringing in his elongated ears. He can feel his mouth moving, words rolling his tongue and testing syllables on his teeth, but his brain can’t quite register what he’s saying.  

You certainly don’t understand him.

It takes a while for him to settle, the swirls and drags of your tongue now pulling the spawn into painful territory, and when Astarion full-on dry sobs at the feeling of your mouth, you pull away from him.

Your inhales are hefty, gasping and panting beneath him to regulate the breathing you so kindly cut off for him, your heart working overtime to accommodate, and your eyes open. Astarion’s body rises and falls with your deep lungfuls of air, his head angled down toward you in the perfect picture of ecstasy; a transcendental creature of delight and satisfaction. His eyes are misty, his waterline flushed a pretty pink beneath a new surge of unshed tears, but there’s a watery smile hanging from his lips; dopey and pointed. For a while, you don’t move, only massaging Astarion’s waist to ease his occasional spasm, and he’s thankful for it. Astarion has never felt anything so intense, so vigorous and…good.

He didn’t understand you at first, couldn't deduce why on earth you wanted to get to know him beyond the scope of bodily exploration, but at least then you could grant him the protection he needed, however confusing on his part. His mind, still deep within Cazador’s deeply inflicted hell of torture and transactional sex, had made him approach you in the first place, recognizing you as the impromptu leader of your ragtag group of weirdos, with all of his true weaknesses hidden behind a steel wall of falsehoods perfected after two centuries.  

“It was natural. Instinctive.”

But, in this moment with you, as you sit up to carefully lay his body down beside you like he’ll splinter and burst, his arousal gleaming on the lower portion of your face, he infers that he, perhaps, wasn’t meant to understand you. He was only meant to feel, let you chip through his walls with your patience, let you blanket him with your understanding serenity, to separate him from Cazador’s self flagellating sack of exhausted bones, and merely be. 

Be with you.

“Are you alright, Astarion?” You hum, observing his face, watching him for any signs of being off in any way.

Finally, the heavy weight on his tongue lifts, and he releases a low scoff, free of malice, “Simply amazing.” 

His voice is on par with stone gravel, scratchy and sore, and it makes you reach across him, heedful of jostling him too much, to grab a cup of water off the nightstand. It’s lukewarm when you tilt it against Astarion’s lips, but it helps soothe him immensely, and he clears his throat. 

“Do you,” he begins, but there’s something nervous, timidly resigned, about his tone that you instantly pick up on, “do you…want me to-”

Your lips find his, and his question trails off into the roof of your mouth, Astarion moaning softly at the taste of himself on your tongue. His shoulders ease, unaware they drew forward in rigidity to begin with. The air around you starts to clear, calm affection radiating from your heated skin and seeping into Astarion’s dead heart, and he swears upon every God he had no luxury to believe that your love may have the power to revive it. 

“No,” your lips part with a wet, muted smack. “No, I don’t want you to.”

“But,” Astarion’s words stumble, finding it hard to gather himself when your lips find his jawline, “you didn’t get to-”

“I did,” you cut him off again, smooching the side of his neck and tucking a damp curl behind his ear, “because you did.” And it’s true, “You feeling good makes me feel good, my love. Don’t worry about me.”

The vampire makes a face.

How can Astarion not when you always put him first?

His safety, his hunger, and now his pleasure, you always make sure he’s attended to first, placing yourself on the backburner more often than not, and while it’s beyond sweet, he’s starting to feel a bit guilty; guilty that he’s not giving you more than you deserve. Admittedly, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, how to have a real relationship far beyond sexual exchange, and it shows. 

But, he’s learning, and you never rush him. 

Astarion holds one of your hands in his, fingers intertwining around the other’s like straw woven through a basket, a perfect interlace of devotion and comfort; destined.

“I want,” the man’s eyes find yours, his words catching the base of his throat at the warm sentiment on your face whenever you look at him, “you to be happy…with me, with us.” 

Your palm raises to cup his cheek, the vampire nuzzling into it almost instantly with a quiet sigh, and brings your forehead to press against his, the smile on your lips wobbling in affection. The man in front of you, scarlet eyes exhausted and abused but so in love and willing to trust you, allowing you to douse the flames of his own personal hell and pull him up and out means more to you than Astarion will ever understand. 

Or, Astarion’s lips curl into a sheepish grin, his eyes wrinkling in the corners, maybe he does understand you. In his own way.

He’ll never forget the moment he first felt the sun after escaping the naultaloid, the feeling forgotten after having spent so many decades in the dark, traversing the shadows and hugging close to walls like diseased vermin, and how warm it was, almost as if the beams burned brighter just for him to ease the undead chill rooted within his bones; a reunion gift.

He supposes that being with you feels the same way; the sun embracing his skin to drive away the cold, constant and unfaltering. Just…you, your love that leaves him comfortable and unsuspecting, and Astarion half expects to wake up; to find himself still stuck in Cazador’s dungeon so broken he resorted to hallucinations for some semblance of comfort. But the pair of eyes in front of him, twinkling in passion as they surveyed him, are too expressive to be an illusion. Everything feels too real, too raw, to be a dream.

“You have no idea how happy you make me, Astarion,” and your declaration is conclusive, spoken as if the only truth you know.  

For once, he completely believes you. 

His psych doesn’t wrestle with his irrational belief that you’re being untrue, that he isn’t enough for you, because you choose him. Even after he deceived you, even after all of the emotional back and forth because he is so fearful, so damaged, you still choose him despite his faults and imperfections. He sees you when he closes his eyes, you worry his days when you’re away from him, and sometimes he just wants to crack open his ribcage to make space for you. There’s no need for his heart; it doesn't fucking work, blood no longer flows through his veins yet it’s the very thing he depends on to satiate this damned bestial hunger, so it has no place inside of him where you should be.

But, you’re here. Holding him, loving him and offering your devotion as it thrums between your fingers, sculpting the shape of your lungs around the phonetics of his name like you need him to live, and it makes Astarion want to cry.

So, he does.

Your face doesn’t show panic, but you do bring him closer, cradling the back of his head as he snuggles into your neck and allows his tears to fall. His back is being rubbed in soothing circles, your touch gentle but solid, and Astarion thinks that right here and right now…

Everything will be okay.

[calliecopper]

Ian Gallagher Being His Own Person, and Why That's Controversial

A meta about Ian's story during his time away from Mickey, and the hate his character receives for it. Inspired by @dazzle02 :)

How many times have you heard somebody say that they skipped season 8 of Shameless because Mickey wasn't in it? How many times have you heard somebody say that season 7 is only good during Mickey's episodes, or that the story is boring without Mickey in it, or that Ian's S6-8 arc was boring without Mickey? How many times have you heard somebody proclaim that Ian wasn't a good partner to Mickey?

Mickey is undeniably THE fan favorite character of the show, and with that comes a tendency for fans to defend him tooth and nail, even when he is in the wrong, and refuse to see any other points of view. Characters who go against Mickey in any way receive a harsh amount of criticism that sometimes is not fully justified. This applies even to Mickey's main connection to the story: Ian.

During season 5 and onward, some fans hold Ian's actions against him very harshly when I feel he deserves a bit more empathy. Of these, there are three main things people criticize his character for during seasons 5, 6, and 7 that I feel are not given proper analysis and thought by fandom.

Disclaimer before we get in because people feel very passionately about these two: Every interpretation of a character is entirely unique to each individual viewer, and these are just my opinions. This is in no way an anti-Mickey post, so as you read, keep in mind that any criticism toward him is not meant to make him out to be a bad character. Don't bite me.

Season Five: The Breakup of All Time

I think a large part of why people get so upset with Ian for the breakup is because of the growth Mickey experienced in seasons 4-5 leading up to it.

Mickey in seasons 1-3 is in extreme denial of being gay, and when he grows feelings for Ian, he lashes out and treats Ian like shit. Seeing Mickey's slow growth starting in season 3 brought interest to his character, and in season 4 with his major growth during his coming out, he becomes very compelling to a viewer. After all the angst that it took to get Mickey to finally open up, there's a natural desire to see that positive growth and relationship development continue. When Ian throws a wrench in that by breaking up with Mickey in season 5, people get upset, and they're going to direct that toward Ian because he is the easiest to blame.

There's the sentiment of, "Mickey came out for Ian, took care of Ian, and supported Ian when he needed him most despite his faults. Why is Ian leaving Mickey in the dust when he now needs him most?"

This is honestly not an unreasonable thing to feel when looking at things from Mickey's perspective.

But, when you take a look at Ian's character, and you really think of his motivations in that moment, his decision to break up is actually very understandable. Ian didn't break up with Mickey because he thinks Mickey is a bad partner or because he doesn't love Mickey enough. He broke up with Mickey because he thought that's what was best FOR Mickey.

I think comparing the breakup to their fight over marriage in season 10 to be an effective way to understand Ian better.

In season 10:

"How do you know you love me? Huh? How do you really know? I'm bipolar, right? I don't know who I am from one day to the next, and I can't guarantee shit. So why do you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?"

- Ian to Mickey, S10E9

Compare this to this conversation during the breakup:

"You used to love me. Now you don't even know who I am. Shit, I don't know who I am half the time... You don't owe me anything."

"I love you."

"The Hell does that even mean?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12

I feel that Ian's mindset is pretty similar in these two moments. In season 5, he is still grappling with his diagnosis, and he has no frame of reference of how a healthy life with bipolar can look. Everybody has been comparing him to Monica, and he himself seems to oscillate between thinking he is like her and not like her, so in his mind, he has nothing to offer anymore.

Then, in season 10, in his mind he proved himself right. He tried to get his shit in order, lived happily and found peace with his diagnosis, and then he fucked it up. He had an episode, and he lost everything he fought so hard to have. He has practically ruined his life because he DID what he FEARED he would:

"I hate the meds. You gonna make me take 'em?"

"You get fucking nuts when you don't."

"Are you gonna want to be with me even if I don't?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12

That conversation isn't Ian saying he isn't going to take his meds, given how in season six, he IS taking his meds. I interpret his above statement to be a warning to Mickey. Because Monica has tried to get on her meds before, has tried to get better, and has failed many times. IAN has gone off his meds willingly twice now. This is him telling Mickey, straightforward, "I do not like the meds, and there will always be a risk of me deciding not to take them."

And in seasons 8-9, he does exactly that. He goes off his meds, and he destroys everything he built for himself. That's part of the reason why he hesitates to marry Mickey in season 10, and part of the reason he breaks up with Mickey in season 5.

Ian views himself and his disorder to be a burden on the people he loves. He believes that Mickey will be better off without him.

"I don't want you sitting around, worrying, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit."

- Ian to Mickey, S5E12

Because Mickey HAS been doing that. Ever since he was diagnosed, Mickey has been watching Ian like a hawk, acting like a nurse, which frustrates Ian.

"Fuckin' nurse now?"

[...]

"I'm sick of your whiny, pussy crap. I don't need a fucking caretaker, alright? I need the shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of Southside trash I fell for. Where is he? The fuck is he, Mickey?"

- Ian to Mickey, S5E10

But, of course, Mickey doesn't see it that way. To Mickey, Ian is anything but a burden he wants to unload.

"It means we take care of each other. [...] It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit."

- Mickey to Ian, S5E12.

Mickey would do anything for Ian. He confronted his worst fear by coming out, stayed with Ian even after the infidelity, defended Ian after he kidnapped his son, and tried his best to understand a mental illness he had no prior knowledge about. Yet, Ian still won't commit to him. After everything, he still isn't good enough.

"I'm not saying never!"

"No, you're just saying you don't love me enough now."

- Ian and Mickey, S10E9

And Ian, meanwhile, thinks that HE isn't good enough for MICKEY. He has been diagnosed with a lifelong condition, one that he has seen ruin lives firsthand, something that will be a part of him for the rest of his life, and he doesn't wanna tie Mickey down to that life.

It's all one massive miscommunication.

Finally, I think the part that is the most confusing to fans regarding Ian's mindset during the breakup stems from his moments with Monica in S5E11 and S5E12.

Specifically, the parallels between these two conversations.

"Ian, there's always gonna be people that are gonna try and fix us. And you can never make those people happy. Like it breaks their heart just to look at you."

"Yeah, um, even Mickey now."

"He's your boyfriend, right? [...] I'm sure he means well, but you need to be with people who accept you for who you are. And they're out there. You should never apologize for being you."

- Monica and Ian, S5E11.

Vs.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Too much! Too much is wrong with me. That's the problem, isn't it? Too much is wrong with me, and you can't do anything about that. You can't change it. You can't fix me, 'cause I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed, okay? I'm me!"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12.

Monica's interpretation of the relationship seems to paint Mickey in a negative light. "He means well, but he doesn't get it," or something along those lines. Based on her previous experiences with the diagnosis, she has come to the conclusion that people like Mickey or Fiona, who try to get them to take medication and are saddened by the diagnosis, are being controlling, and do not love them for who they really are. That's why she always went back to Frank; he actively tried to get her to NOT take her meds or get better, and did not encourage her when she DID try to get better. So, to her, being off her meds IS the TRUE version of herself, and the people who can not accept that do not accept her.

But I think, while Ian's lines parallel Monica's, that he does not think the same way that she does.

Toward the end of season 5, Ian seems to do a complete 180 from his previous statements on his similarities with Monica.

"You flushed your pills? You get thats a full-on Monica move, right?"

"I'm not Monica."

- Ian and Fiona, S5E8

Vs.

" [...] Cause they all say how alike we are."

"That's probably not a compliment."

"Uh... No, I think it is."

- Ian and Monica, S5E11

This happens in the wake of his arrest, after Ian's siblings talk about him to the military police. Many of their comments seem to hit Ian in a way that makes him feel misunderstood or like a burden.

Debbie: But he's been acting crazier for longer than that.

Lip: Yeah, at least this past year.

Officer: How would you characterize his behavior?

Debbie: Compared to how he used to be... He's different.

Lip: He'll go back and forth from, you know, being depressed, to, you know, incredibly wound up. I mean, he ran off with a baby for no reason.

Debbie: He almost hit me in the head with a baseball bat.

Fiona: Our mother was bipolar, so we know what it looks like. She put us through Hell, and- I'm not saying you put us through Hell, but when they're manic they can be destructive.

Officer: In your opinion, does he require medication?

Fiona: Yes.

Officer: Is he unable to care for himself?

Fiona: Sometimes, yes.

So, when Ian talks to Monica when they reconnect, Ian expresses loneliness and a feeling of isolation.

"I'm really glad you came, yknow? I just... I needed someone to talk to who... gets it."

- Ian to Monica, S5E11

When Monica tells Ian to not be ashamed and that she loves him for him, she is kind of acting like his Frank. The meds have been taking a toll, and recovery is so difficult that running with her and getting validation from the only other person who could "get it" is an easy choice to make. I think the combined factors of Mickey treating him so delicately, his siblings laying out his flaws so plainly, and his mother's open acceptance creates a feeling of bitterness or shame, and Ian is hoping to find comfort in his mother.

But it doesn't go the way he expects it to.

At the diner, he thinks that Monica is going to prostitute herself for money, and is relieved when she doesn't. It's likely he was thinking of his own stint at the Fairytale in this moment.

Then, he recalls a moment from his childhood that he does not look upon fondly, only for Monica to refer to it as "good times."

He meets Monica's partner and discovers he is an aggressive teenage meth dealer that she is helping to sell the meth.

I think Ian has a true moment of clarity during this. He had thought that he was vindicated, that everybody else was wrong, that they didn't understand, that Monica was right, and that he was perfectly fine just the way he was. But then he sees what Monica considers to be "a happy life."

"Ian, I'm finally happy. People like us, we can be happy. I love him, and that's the most important thing, to find somebody to love, right? Who loves you back for who you are. I want that for you. I love you. We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."

- Monica to Ian, S5E12.

Monica's perception of life is warped. What she considers a good life is living in a trailer selling meth. Good memories are traumatic memories for those around her. True love and support is an aggressive teenage dealer, or Frank Gallagher.

A simple drive to Ian was a horrifying kidnapping to Svetlana. Doing a porn that was no big deal to Ian was a betrayal of trust to Mickey. Joining Monica and ignoring the calls of his well-meaning but ignorant family to Ian was a painful and worrisome disappearance to them. Ian's perception HAS been warped, and he's crashing back to reality, realizing that he has run off with MONICA, realizing that he can't continue down the same path as her, and needs to go home.

He's come to accept that he is bipolar. He's internalized what his family has kept repeating, that he is just like Monica, and looking at her living like this, believing that she is living well, is terrifying to him.

So he goes home, believing that he is just like his mother, and he's doomed to be a piece of shit. He goes back, and he breaks up with Mickey. Because he doesn't think that people like him can be happy, and he doesn't think he'll be okay. And that isn't something that Mickey can change. Too much is wrong with him, and Mickey can't do anything about it.

Really, it's just a matter of Ian operating under the "if you love them, let them go" mindset, and Mickey interpreting it as a rejection. It's the two of them both believing they are not good enough for the other and internalizing it instead of properly communicating.

TL;DR: Ian's breakup with Mickey in S5E12 is not done in a healthy OR selfish mindset. To him, he will do nothing but drag Mickey down, and in his unmedicated and clearly altered state of mind, he thinks the best thing is to let him go.

Season Six: Dating Caleb and Other Blasphemy

The first time we see Mickey in season six, it's behind a pane of glass in an orange jumpsuit.

Mickey had tried to murder Sammi, Ian's half-sister, and had been sentenced to prison for 15 years. It's established that Ian has not been to visit Mickey much and is trying to move on past that time in his life. But, upon being bribed by Svetlana, Ian visits, and during this visit Mickey asks Ian a question:

"You gonna wait for me?" - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.

And when Ian shows hesitation:

"Fuckin' lie if you have to, man, eight years is a long time." - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.

So, Ian replies:

"Yeah. Yeah, Mick, I'll wait." - Ian to Mickey, S6E1.

Before even meeting Caleb, fans absolutely tear into Ian for his decision to not commit to Mickey in this moment. They call it selfish, or out of character, or unfair to ice Mickey out when he is going through this difficult time.

But, let's look at it from Ian's position.

Ian has dealt with abandonment issues his entire life, with both Monica and Frank being unstable and infrequent providers during his adolescence. Throughout his relationship with Mickey, they had been separated on three separate occasions, one of which was entirely voluntary on Mickey's part. Now, due to committing a major crime, Mickey has been sent away for up to fifteen years. They would both be in their thirties by the time Mickey would be released, or close to it if he got out early, and that's not even considering that he was actively taking part in jobs / activities that could extend his sentence, like stabbing people.

Ian has dealt with recurring disappointment and abandonment his entire life, and throughout their time together, Mickey hasn't really established himself as stable.

Now, before you bring out the pitchforks;

"But Mickey was there for Ian and supported him through seasons 4-5. He grew as a person and proved he IS reliable."

Yes, that's true. He did undergo massive development that allowed him to be a better partner and more reliable person to Ian. But, canonically that period of time only takes place over a few months.

Mickey, for the better part of 2-3 years, was NOT a good partner to Ian. Multiple years of an unsteady situationship is not so easily forgotten. Yes, Mickey 1000% had valid reasons for acting the way he did. It's made very clear in S3E6 and S4E11 why Mickey hides his sexuality and lashes out when forced to confront it. But that isn't an excuse. His reasons for acting in a negative way towards Ian the first three seasons is understandable, but he went about it in a bad way.

Not to mention that, despite his growth, Mickey has just been sent to PRISON. No matter how you spin it, his decision to go after Sammi was NOT justified and does not necessarily bring forth confidence in his reliability and stability.

It's not unreasonable for Ian to not want to wait for over a decade for a man who has not always been the best for him. It sucks as a viewer who is invested in them, but Ian was not in the wrong.

Beyond (justifiably) selfish reasons, Ian also already thought that he was bad for Mickey, was worried that he would ruin his life, and with Mickey's justification for his torture attempt being that he did it FOR Ian, that Sammi had it coming because of what she did TO Ian, Ian probably felt responsible for that as well. There was probably a level of guilt in Ian from the whole situation, both for Mickey being in prison and for leaving him there.

But from his point of view, it's better for everybody to try and move on.

What really bothers me about this criticism toward Ian is the sense that he OWED Mickey his time and loyalty. Because Mickey had given and sacrificed so much for Ian during seasons 4-5, it's like people think Ian is then obligated to return that for Mickey, no matter what Mickey did. It's a very transactional way to view the situation, and it just leaves me with an icky taste in my mouth. Nobody owes anybody anything in that situation. Ian does not owe Mickey companionship, and Mickey did not owe Ian support when he got put in prison in season 9. Returning to Ian was Mickey's decision to make, and not a decision Ian was obligated to make in season 6.

Now, onto the actual "dating other people" part of the conversation.

For months, Ian has done nothing but get his meds on track while working at Patsy's, then at the janitors job on Lip's campus. During this time, Ian expresses having a very low sense of self-worth.

"He as smart as you?"

"No."

"Yeah, he's smart."

"Lip is the genuis of the family."

"So that gives you an excuse for not finishing [high school]? You seem plenty smart, and Dav's uniform doesn't really suit you."

- Ian, Lip, and Professor Youens, S6E3

And:

"This is it for me, Lip. This job. This is where I land."

- Ian to Lip, S6E3

Which Lip comments on in a very concise way:

"Yknow, he thinks... Being bipolar means he's doomed to be a piece of shit like our mother."

- Lip about Ian, S6E3

Ian feels no sense of purpose during these months. He feels he has no worth and that he is doomed to work a dead-end job and have no happiness. He thinks he is just like Monica.

That only changes when he witnesses an accident on the highway, and he saves a woman's life by pulling her out of a burning car.

This leads us to Caleb.

Now I'll admit, this is where I take issue with the storytelling, because this would've been a PERFECT way to segue into Ian's EMT arc, but regardless of what I personally think would've been better, the way it plays out in canon does actually still make sense for Ian's character.

After saving the woman from the burning car, Ian collapses due to smoke inhalation and exhaustion. A firefighter on the scene provides Ian with oxygen, thus saving his life. Ian immediately fixates on this particular firefighter.

Now, Ian has a very complicated relationship with feeling his emotions post his diagnosis. In season five, when he is numbed by his meds, the only way for him to feel again is through pain, via self-harm or starting physical fights, and sex. In fact, sex plays a major part in many aspects of Ian's life.

From the age of fifteen, Ian had been consistently subject to sexual abuse. He's been used for his body by countless men throughout his teenage years and has been oftentimes reduced merely to his sexuality and what he can provide to his partner. Even Mickey, in season 2, tells Ian as such in a panicked rage.

"You think we're boyfriend and girlfriend here? You're nothing but a warm mouth to me."

- Mickey to Ian, S2E8.

(No, I'm not saying Mickey sexually abused Ian. But he did contribute to the way we see Ian default so heavily to objectifying and sexualizing himself.)

So, due to this recurring trauma, Ian has a tendency to default to sex as the primary way of getting satisfaction, be it emotional or physical.

So, when Ian gets a rush of adrenaline from the crash, after months of that numbness, he chases the emotions in the most effective way he knows how.

Ian goes to the firehouse with cookies to give as thanks to the firefighter who saved him, but with a clear ulterior motive of getting laid. When he finds out that the particular firefighter (who happens to be part of the "gay shift" which is an odd writing choice) he saw on the highway is married, Ian meets Caleb. In this scene, they speak all of one line to each other when Caleb invites Ian to a firehouse softball game. The next time we see them on screen together, Ian acts very flirtatious toward Caleb, which sets forth their relationship.

"You ever pitch?"

"... Usually, but I'm open depending on what you're into. Where we doing this?"

"Follow me."

[...]

"Wait, we're actually playing softball?"

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5

I think Ian receives hate for this simply because he's expressing interest in a guy that isn't Mickey. Fans get the impression that Ian is moving on too fast or that his interest in Caleb is sudden or rushed. However, I think the rushed nature actually works to show Ian's intentions. In this moment, Ian is not really looking for a full-on relationship. Given how little they interacted thus far, the fact that Caleb wasn't even who Ian was originally interested in, and how Ian's comments consistently err on the side of sexual, its safe to say Ian was just looking for a hookup. In fact, it's Caleb who pushes so hard FOR the relationship.

Mickey, in a deleted scene, hooks up with an inmate right after talking with Ian. If Ian's relationship with Caleb had only been a fling or hookup, I don't think Ian would've been as heavily criticized. As it is, fans get upset at this relationship because it IS a relationship. They go on dates, Ian starts staying with Caleb, and really they seem to be very domestic.

But I don't think Ian was as dedicated to the relationship with Caleb as fans make him out to be.

From the jump, Ian seems uncomfortable with the quick-moving pace of it. At first he only seems interested in sex with Caleb, but upon the negative reaction that provokes, Ian conceded to going on a date with Caleb (which is a bit of a slap in the face to Mickey fans after Gallavich's ruined date.)

"[...] I was hoping to get my hands on your hose."

"Is that what this is to you? A fuck?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing. Come on, let's get out of here."

"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."

"Fuck. Okay. Okay. Hey, I'm into you, alright? I thought you were into me."

"I am."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I don't stick my dick in just any guy."

"What do you want, then?"

"Seriously? Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Yeah."

"A date."

"With, like, flowers and chocolate and shit?"

"No, we could skip the flowers."

"Okay. You're on."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5

(Side note, pulling a "is that all this is to you" after two non-romantic interactions is not just quick in terms of hookup culture, which Ian is more attuned to, but is quick in any terms. More on that later.)

During this date, Ian is visibly very uncomfortable. Some would chalk this up to him having never been on a date before, and the writing even seems to imply that,

"Okay, look, I have no idea what I'm doing. My last boyfriend wasn't much of a talker, his idea of a conversation was to insult me a bunch and then punch me right before we banged."

- Ian to Caleb, S6E6

but that's actually not true, DESPITE the writers forgetting that.

"You know, Mickey and I never went out on dates. Ned never took me out, Kash and I fucked in the back of a convenience store, and I don't think jerking off strangers in a nightclub counts, so..."

- Ian to Lip, S6E6.

He actually HAD gone out on a "date" with Ned in season three, where he was visibly less uncomfortable than on his date with Caleb. He also went to many loft parties during his time dancing at the club, wherein he blended in very well and was able to sorta chameleon himself with the northside crowd. I think the show wants us to believe his discomfort is from him "never having been on a date before" or being unfamiliar with a "slower" pace, but I think his discomfort actually would stem from him just genuinely not being interested in Caleb in a romantic way, and thus feeling awkward on a date that's in a more romantic setting (compared to his one with Ned, which was undoubtedly more sexual.)

I also think his discomfort stems from being completely out of his element. Ian has taken a massive hit to his confidence since his diagnosis, so his Southside roots bring about a bit more hesitancy in him than it might have before, and he may be less confident in his ability to chameleon. That's why, during the date, Ian shows discomfort with Caleb when he shows more "class" than Ian.

"Usually, I get a bunch of apps to share. You good with that?"

"[Uncertain hum] ... Appetizers! Sure, yeah, big- big fan of apps."

[...]

"You seem like a very pensive kinda guy. You an only child?"

"Uh, no."

"Brothers and sisters?"

"A bunch, yeah."

"Older or younger?"

"Both."

"What about your parents? Both still alive?"

"... Yeah."

"... Fantastic. I'm learning so much."

[...]

"Where I'm from, people communicate with their fists."

"Where's that?"

"Southside."

"Mmm. Hands of steel. Okay, so you're a street rat. A brawler."

"Is that a problem?"

"Only if you make it one."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.

Then, beyond their first date, we have the actual relationship to dive into.

Throughout his scenes with Caleb, Ian seems to oscillate between neutrality, discomfort, or mild enjoyment in the situations he finds himself in.

There's this interaction, for example, where Ian lets Caleb take charge in defining their relationship:

"So what are we doing?"

"Whatever you want, I guess."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E7.

Or this moment:

"What are you smiling at?"

"I like having you over here. What are you smiling at?"

"I like having a purpose."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.

Or when Caleb invites Ian out with his friends, and we see Ian slip into his chameleon persona, mirroring the petty mannerisms of the most vocal participant of the conversation, as well as avoiding diving too much into his personal history.

"You haven't told me which one is your ex."

"Guess."

"Old guy, pink sweater."

"How'd you know?"

"Ooh, a redhead, Caleb? Does his carpet match his drapes?"

"You're a good sport."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.

[...]

"If we had known you were bringing a middle school student, Caleb, we wouldn't have come to a place that cards."

"Oh, no, it's cool, I don't drink. I hear it makes your skin old and leathery."

"That's-that's how we're playing this?"

"Hey, you threw down first."

"Where you from, kid?"

"Back of the Yards."

"Local boy. What's your story?"

"Story?"

"Who you are, what you do, how did you meet this chocolate bundt cake?"

"Met him at the firehouse."

- Ian and Gregory, S6E8

[...]

"We like this one, Caleb. Don't we, Gregory?"

"I mean, If young, beautiful, and kind of a smartass is something to like, sure, fine, I guess we do."

- Caleb's friends about Ian, S6E8.

OR, in a deleted scene where Caleb expresses frustration at Ian keeping the distance between him and Ian's family, as well as Ian's lack of communication, while Ian seems unbothered or even perplexed by Caleb's frustration.

"So, where'd you sleep last night?"

"Home. Got done at three, told you I'd be late."

"Yeah, like nighttime late, not next day late."

"Well, I didn't wanna wake you, and I had to go back there to grab some stuff: clothes, towels..."

"Where's there?"

"Home, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"Back of the Yards."

"Right. You did mention that once. I still don't know where it is or who I'd call if there was an emergency?"

"Uh... my brother, I guess? Or my sister."

"Brother or sister. Okay. I'll just track down Ian Gallagher's brother or sister on the internet."

"I'll... put their numbers in your phone."

"Great."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E11 deleted scene.

OR any of the follwing:

When they go to get Ian tested for STDs, he is visibly uncomfortable having Caleb in the room with him.

He is only comfortable revealing his bipolar disorder if it is done in exchange for another secret from Caleb.

He isn't very comfortable sharing his past, only references his previous relationship in a lighthearted manner, and he only reveals his sexual history upon feeling pressured to do so, which he purposefully presents in a callous way.

To me, the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship reads as Ian's desperation for validation through sex, which leads to him putting up with a relationship he isn't entirely comfortable in or commited to or ready for. To me, it seems like he's truly just looking for companionship in any way he can get it.

Out of everything, though, I think what really gets to fans most about this storyline is the constant comparison of Caleb to Mickey as a means of demonizing Mickey.

Throughout the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship, there is a constant comparison between the two relationships, seemingly with the intent of painting Mickey as a horrible partner.

When Ian tells Lip about his upcoming date with Caleb, he remarks that he never went on dates with Mickey, which comes off as an unnecessary jab.

During his date with Caleb, Ian talks about his lack of effective communication skills, which reflects negatively on Mickey, to the point Caleb brings forward the idea of domestic abuse.

During the wedding that Ian attends with Caleb, Ian mentions Mickey's marriage to Svetlana, and he uses a tone that comes off as belittling the situation and how difficult it was for Mickey.

There's this line, when Caleb asks Ian to kiss for the first time:

"Can I kiss you?"

"I thought kissing comes after you've had sex a bunch of times."

"Ian, kissing comes whenever you want it to. Even now."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.

Then, there's Mandy stating that Caleb was better than Mickey.

"A hot black fireman. Also an artist."

"Upgrade from my brother."

"I miss Mickey, but uh... This new guy's nice."

- Ian and Mandy, S6E9

These near constant comparisons to Mickey are frustrating to fans, because it can often feel like Ian, or even just the writers and the narrative, are trying to belittle Mickey's character and reduce him to a one-note toxic ex, which completely spits in the face of the development that he went through. THAT is what is most frustrating to fans.

Because it's true that Mickey was not always the best partner. In real life, Mickey would be a walking red flag, and Gallavich would be undeniably toxic. But that applies to EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in Shameless. That is the entire point of the show. None of them are particularly good people. They all do shitty things, but they all have compelling reasons for doing it. That's why we can look at these characters and feel connected to them instead of just absolutely hating them.

It's a really odd writing choice for a show that focuses on morally gray characters, or the idea that nobody in the show is really a good person, to decide to play moral high ground in this particular instance, and have Ian suddenly turn his nose up at Mickey's behaviors.

But is this really how Ian feels?

Because, as established, Ian is VERY good at playing chameleon. He is good at shaping himself into whatever a partner wants him to be. He mirrors his partners mannerisms, beliefs, and attitudes.

And Caleb, for all that the story wants to make us believe he's better than Mickey, is actually not the best partner either. Not just for cheating on Ian in season seven and then gaslighting Ian about it; he shows some toxic behaviors in season six as well, including being lowkey judgmental about Ian's Southside roots.

Take, for example, Caleb implying that the Southside is trash, but that he can see the beauty in Ian despite being from the Southside:

"That's my latest. I love to find the treasure inside the trash. Trying to find the secret life in things. What it wants to be instead of what it is."

"Is that what you're doing with me?"

"Good question. Can I kiss you?"

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6

(Which, funnily enough, this line from Caleb goes pretty against the sentiment that Monica had in season five, of Ian finding somebody who loves Ian for who he already is, as Mickey did.)

Or, for another example, Caleb judging Ian pretty heavily during the softball game for being "not grown-up." Simply because Ian expresses sexual interest in him above romantic.

"Cmon, let's get out of here."

"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5.

Which, as I pointed out before, is really strange behavior. Participating in hookup culture isn't something that Ian needs to be shamed over. There's a sentiment of "Hooking up is beneath me, it's immature," to Caleb's tone, which is unfair. Now, he has reasons for this, that being his experience with getting HIV from a hookup who lied to him, which draws a pretty interesting parallel to Ian.

"Don't worry, guy I did the scene with said he was clean."

"He didn't use a rubber? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E5.

Vs.

"Guy in college. He lied to me."

- Caleb to Ian, S6E8.

(Which I actually find to be a very interesting plot point and is actually a pretty good scene.)

So, while Caleb was not wrong to put forth a boundary by not hooking up, he was wrong for acting as if IAN was the problem in the situation. Not to mention, his behavior at the game is very strange when taken into account how little they've interacted thus far. He had understandable reasons for his negative reaction, but he went about it the wrong way. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Anyways, I could talk about the relationship between Ian and Caleb more, but that's not what the point of this is.

The point I'm trying to make is that Caleb, however covertly, expresses a negative or biased view toward the Southside lifestyle. And Ian, being the type to mimic his partners, follows along in that.

Ian already fears that he is going to be left. He is afraid that showing Caleb who he really is and not being the idealized version of himself will lead to Caleb breaking up with him.

"I'm enjoying it while it lasts."

"You think he'll dump you?"

"Well, I've told him I'm bipolar, and my family's screwed up, and he took it pretty well. But it's one thing to hear it and another to live it, so... We shall see."

- Ian and Mandy, S6E9

So, he chameleons. He makes himself the treasure in the trash. He distances himself from the image of a brooding, Southside street rat.

Because, after so long of constant pain and numbness during and post his diagnosis, Caleb is the first good thing he's found.

"I haven't been this happy in a long time."

- Ian to Caleb, S6E8.

And really, everything that I just talked about doesn't matter when you think about it that way.

No matter how dedicated or invested Ian was in his relationship with Caleb, it still provided him with companionship and validation, which as we know, is something that Ian has an unhealthy dependence on to find self-worth.

And I don't think Ian was wrong in searching for that connection simply because that connection wasn't with Mickey. He could've been well and truly in love with Caleb, and he wouldn't deserve some of the hate he receives for his canon actions.

It's easy to look at Ian's relationship with Caleb and get frustrated because of all the time that was put into Ian and Mickey's relationship. But beyond the instinctual negative feeling that comes with seeing Ian with anybody other than Mickey, his relationships outside of Mickey deserve to be analyzed and observed for what they actually do for HIS character, and not just immediately cast aside as unnecessary or ooc.

So, to summarize:

Firstly, Ian wasn't selfish for not waiting 15 years for somebody in prison. Whether he was serious about Caleb or not, Ian was under no obligation to dedicate himself to Mickey. Ian did not owe Mickey anything simply because Mickey was there for Ian when shit got tough. If they had been together, sure, Ian would've been a lot shittier for leaving Mickey alone. But as it was, they were broken up, and even if they hadn't been, Ian would've had every right to not want to continue seeing Mickey after his decision to harm Sammi, just as Lip was justified in not wanting to be with Mandy anymore after she ran over Karen.

Secondly, Ian dating Caleb wasn't bad for his character. In fact, I think their relationship in season six was actually a very interesting way to progress Ian's character and get more insight into his mind and how he operates.

Thirdly, Ian and Caleb's relationship deserves to be analyzed for what it is, rather than what it isn't. Just because Ian is not with Mickey doesn't mean that he doesn't undergo some huge development in this season, both in and outside his relationship with Caleb. Furthermore, Ian entering a new relationship gives us the opportunity to see more sides of his character, and as such the relationship should be analyzed as it's own separate entity, and not just as a hurdle in the way of Gallavich.

Fourth, Ian was not just waiting to cast Mickey aside to jump on the next dick possible. I've seen this criticism before, and when looking at his actual arc at the beginning of S6 and analyzing his general character, that's just simply not true. Entering a new relationship is not equal to immediately disregarding Mickey.

TL;DR: The hate Ian gets from this season mainly stems from "Ian date somebody aside from Mickey, bad Ian" without any further thought behind why he enters the relationship and what the relationship actually means to him. There is no separation in the minds of fans between Ian and Mickey, and therefore, Ian having experiences and an identity outside of Mickey is negatively perceived.

Season Seven: Putting His Own Wellbeing First

This one will be less long winded than the previous one, because I have less to say on it, honestly.

During the entirety of Ian's bipolar arc, it is pretty clearly shown that to maintain mental wellness, Ian needs stability.

When Mickey shows up and asks Ian to run away with him to Mexico, that's threatening to uproot every amount of stability Ian has managed to secure the past two seasons of the show.

I honestly don't see as much hate directed toward Ian for his decision to leave Mickey at the border as I see for his previous decisions. I'd say the main thing I actually see directed toward this season is just that Ian's story is boring without Mickey in it. Mostly because he enters another new relationship with Trevor after his relationship with Caleb, which really just follows the cyclical Shameless cycle of, "Don't know what to do with a character? Give them a new love interest!" But because I talked about the judgement for non-Gallavich Ian relationships above, I don't particularly feel like doing a deep dive into the Ian and Trevor relationship in this meta.

What I want to talk about relates to the Mickey Mexico storyline, though, and that's the hate other characters recieve for trying to dissuade Ian from going.

After finding out that Mickey escaped from prison, Fiona and Ian have the following conversation:

"What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep. You ever, uh, think about about what would've happened if you'd run off with Jimmy-Steve?"

"Lying sociopath Jimmy-Steve? My life would be a nonstop psycho-thriller. I definitely dodged a bullet with that one."

"What if nothing ever gives you that same thrill again? Still feel like you dodged a bullet?"

"I don't know. Probably. Where's this coming from?"

"Things have been weird between me and Trevor since Mickey got out."

"You mean since Mickey busted out of prison and has got half the Chicago Police Department circling the Southside looking for him."

"Can't get him out of my head. Just trying to stop myself from doing something I shouldn't."

"You turned your life around. Mickey would set a match to it. You've done really great without him, and I'm really fucking proud of you."

- Ian and Fiona, S7E10.

I've seen this conversation criticized many times because of how "unfairly" Mickey is treated in this scene. But I truly think that nothing said in this scene was wrong, and Fiona was 100% right.

In the past, Fiona has definitely shown a prejudice against the Milkovich family before. Specifically with Mandy, Fiona seems to look down upon her and disapproves of the relationship between her and Lip. This on its own is unfair treatment and is annoying to witness.

But in this particular case, absolutely nothing she is saying is wrong or biased simply because Mickey is a Milkovich.

People take the line, "Mickey would set a match to it," and compare it to his behavior in late Season 4 through season 5, where Mickey is taking care of Ian, and say that Fiona is being untruthful or hypocritical. If Mickey had never been sent to prison, or even if he had just been released legally, and Ian was simply thinking about cheating on Trevor and getting back with Mickey instead of running away with him, then the criticism toward Fiona would be more justified. But as it is, Mickey is a wanted fugitive, and Ian running away with him would make Ian a fugitive as well, and WOULD effectively set a match to the life Ian had spent the past two seasons working toward. He would be giving up a career he worked hard for and fought to have, he'd be living in stressful conditions on the run, he'd have no support system, and he would have less ease of access to his medication. Running with Mickey would have been the wrong decision for Ian's wellbeing, and honestly, Mickey should never have asked Ian to go with him.

I think that many people have rose colored glasses on when it comes to Gallavich, specifically with Mickey, and that makes it harder to view these moments unbiased. But, looking at it objectively, Mickey was so wrong for asking Ian to come with him to Mexico. He KNOWS that Ian needs stability with his bipolar diagnosis, and he KNOWS that this would be a stressful life he'd be forcing Ian into.

Simply put, he's acting selfishly in that moment. Having your own interests in mind is not always a bad thing, but in this specific case, Mickey would have thrown a huge wrench into Ian's life is Ian hadn't made decisions in HIS best interest.

Again, I have less to say on this as I did other subjects, because to me it feels much more cut and dry. Mickey was in the wrong here 100%, Fiona was not being wrongfully judgmental toward Mickey, and Ian was not in the wrong for not going with Mickey.

After so long of seeing them apart, it makes sense to want to see them together again. So when Ian, again, is the one making the decision to end their relationship, fans are going to lash out at him and those around him.

But it's important to put aside biases and allow your favorite character to be in the wrong occasionally. Mickey is not perfect, and criticism against him, both from characters in the show and fans, is not unfounded nor unjustified.

TL;DR: Mickey was wrong for asking Ian to uproot his life and run to Mexico, and calling that out isn't defamation of his character.

To End This Yap Session:

Ian is by no means a faultless character, and he is not exempt from criticism both inside and outside of his relationship with Mickey. However, I often feel that the criticism he faces is for the wrong reasons, and not much contemplation or exploration is done on him as much as it is for Mickey.

I love Mickey. He's an amazingly complex character, and his relationship with Ian is one of my favorite parts of the show. But in being a complex character, he is also an imperfect character.

I feel that many fans get very protective over their favorite characters, to the point that anything that goes against that character's interests is labeled as bad, and any criticism toward his character is disregarded immediately.

In this particular case of Gallavich, I feel that post season three, fans often see things from Mickey's point of view without looking at Ian's as much. This meta was simply to give my own thoughts on Ian's most "controversial" moments among fans. Obviously this is mostly condensed to season six and his relationship with Caleb, which I feel is the biggest example of jumping to conclusions and only seeing the surface level of his character.

However, I would like to acknowledge that Ian is also an insanely popular character in the Shameless fandom. While he is misunderstood in many instances, he is given much more sympathy and understanding than many other characters in the show, especially many of the female characters. This long-winded meta is only focused on the concerning tendency for fans to link Ian's identity to Mickey entirely without allowing him to be an individual, but a majority of the time he is still a beloved character who is treated favorably by fans. Compared to a character like Debbie, Ian sees much more support, and I feel that the energy I put toward this meta and trying to understand Ian should also be applied to (almost) EVERY character in the show.

Anyways feel free to leave thoughts.

[echoingbirdsofprey]

Back Forty View (On Our Piece Of Ground)

2 - First Sip Of A Cold Beer, When The Workin' Weeks Done

Pairings: Tyler Owens x OFC Georgia Tennley-Owens, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x OFC Samantha Kazansky

Rating: Explicit (MDNI!)

Warnings: none except Jake and Tyler's foul language hahaha

A/N: Jake and Georgia get to know each other and chat, and Tyler and Sam do the same. Just lots of fluff in this one after I horrified y'all with the last two chapters of the other part of the series! Comments, likes, reblogs are appreciated as always! Love writing for myself and y'all that are following!

Tags: @mrsevans90 @djs8891 @gpsmississippihippie @barnesboo1967 @dizzybee03

“Ahh fuck, T, I cant believe that chick rejected you too.” Jake said as he cracked open a cold beer. Kenny kept a fridge full in the barn and he only allowed the boys to drink at home, if they wanted. He felt like it made them more responsible when out with friends. And he was actually right about that because the boys did only drink at home. 

“I know, I’m the better lookin’ brother, too!” Tyler joked and Jake punched him in the shoulder. They were getting saddled up to go for a trail ride. 

“We’re the fuckin’ same, you asshole!” Jake yelled, as he tackled Tyler into the stall door next to him. The metallic clang of him hitting the door made both horses jump a little. 

“Hey, dipshit, don't spook my horse!” Tyler playfully pushed his brother back away from him and Jake caught himself on the opposite door. 

“Ah, whatever. A girl ain't gonna come between us, right?” Jake said and Tyler nodded. 

“The only girl would be our Ole Dixie girl, huh?!” Tyler exclaimed as the white dog with the speckled brown around her eye came bounding into the barn aisle, baying to announce her arrival. She knew the boys were headed out soon, and she loved running beside the horses on a long trail ride, catching all the scents and sights of wildlife that she could possibly bring home for a snack. Both boys knelt down to rub the dog's long back, then finished tacking their horses up. They put bridles on and then mounted up with their beers in hand. 

Heading out of the barn and out of the driveway, they turned right to go down the quiet country road that nary a car was in sight. Tyler's little chestnut horse strode along confidently, while Jake's painted gelding would startle every once in a while at something silly. Both boys just looped the reins and let the horses walk along, Dixie trotting in between them. The dog would veer off every so often, taken where her nose said to go, and then she’d come bouncing back from the complete opposite of where she left. 

��It's gettin’ chilly now. Best start bringin’ rifles out with us soon.” Tyler said, his head on a swivel constantly, staking out the next best place to put up a tree stand. Jake agreed silently, sipping on his beer and removing his feet from the stirrups, as they headed into the forest. There were very clearly defined trails, cut down by atv and dirt bike riders alike.

“I want duck again for Christmas. Think we can get some good ones?” Jake asked, as his horse stepped into an easy trot to catch up to Tyler's big stepping gelding. 

“Thought there was still duck in the freezer from last season.” Tyler said, leaning back in the saddle and finishing his beer. He crunched the can in his hand and then slid it into his sweatshirt pocket. He heard baying off in the distance and whistled. 

“Think momma used the last of it for that stew last week. I'll check.” Jake said, doing the same with his beer can. “If neither of us have a date to homecomin’, are we just ropin’ that night instead?” 

“Hell yeah. I ain't goin’ to that shit unless there's a lady on my arm. Unless you wanna be my date, Jakey?” Tyler joked and Jake smirked.

“Ah, I'd love to but then people would get jealous. It's already bad enough we win all the sortin’ and ropin’, if we won Homecomin’ King and Queen, well...dog incomin’.” Jake mused, just as Dixie popped out of the underbrush. She ran in between the two horses, neither of which flinched, having become accustomed to the dog's antics. 

“Dog nuke, hahaha!” Tyler yelled and made a ‘boom’ noise, which got Dixie all excited and running ahead of the horses then. 

“Dog nuke only if she kills us, Copper, and Paint. She's more like a fur missile. She don't know where she's headed though, only that she's goin’. Worst heat-seeker you’ve ever seen.” Jake’s laugh bellowed through the trees, his whole body shaking. Tyler could only shake his head as the trail opened up into a field.

“Best put’chur feet back in those stirrups.” Tyler yelled, as his horse picked up a trot. Dixie ran out in front, baying and barking as they picked up speed. Jake shoved his feet back in the stirrups and his horse took off across the field, straight into a gallop ahead of Tyler’s horse. Tyler chuckled and pushed Copper up into a gallop too. “You fuckin cheater!”

“If ya ain’t cheatin’, ya ain’t tryin’! Jake exclaimed, as they headed across the field at breakneck speed.

🌪️ 🛩️🛻⚓

Jake was excited for Christmas. It was the only time of year when everything seemed to stop. The last few years he'd been able to be home in Dardanelle and he'd been thankful for that. Everything at home had seemed empty though, as Kenny and Jeanie got older. They couldn't keep up with the needs of the farm so they has sold off a lot of the back forty. Jake had always figured Tyler might buy the house, but then he didn't. A more central place in tornado alley was better for him anyway. Jake on the other hand, had no intention of buying a house until now, but where he was stationed in Lemoore or Miramar most of the time, it would make more sense for him and Sam to settle out there, unless he requested a station somewhere else. He liked the idea of staying in the cottage for as long as possible, and if that meant taking over Javy's part of the rent, then he would.

Sam's Christmas presents to her mother and her siblings had arrived at home in Miramar, so she sent her mom a text letting her know whose were whose. She'd gotten some gift cards for Marks and Alex to some of their favorite stores, and she got her mother some baking supplies as she'd gotten very into making all sorts of cakes and pies while her father had been sick. 

It was Jake who she had trouble buying something for. He'd said she didn't need to get him anything, that being home and having the puppies was the best present, but Sam still wanted to get him something else. She'd settled on getting him a new pair of cowboy boots as the ones that he always wore were pretty beat to shit. She decided the best course of action was to ask Tyler if he would take her to a boot store, because she didn’t know the area. She thought of asking Georgia first, but then remembered how pregnant she was and figured Tyler wouldn’t let her out of his sight. 

She found him out in the garage, underneath Georgia’s truck. He’d obviously heard her footsteps, because he rolled himself out from under the truck and out popped the red cattle dog with him.

“Oh my god. He climbs under there with you? Is that safe?” Sam asked, and Tyler sat up and rubbed the pup’s head.

“Yeah, he’s fine. He’s extremely smart. The lift was bein’ wonky the other day and he wouldn’t come under with me. I fixed it and then he was all good. Did you uh, need somethin’?” He asked, standing and wiping his hands on a rag that he pulled from the hood of the truck. Sam examined him for a moment, seeing just how much he looked like Jake, but in the same vein, didn’t look like him. Tyler was all rough and tumble. Jake was clean cut. She preferred that, but she could see just how attractive Tyler was, especially to Georgia. They seemed like they were made for each other. 

“Um, yes. Sorry...I was wondering if you could bring me to a boot store? I’d like to get Jake’s Christmas present, and maybe a couple other things. I figured Georgia wasn’t driving much.” Sam asked and Tyler smiled.

“Well, she can drive, but conveniently I need to go pick up her present too and somethin’ for Jake, so I think this is a great idea. Then the two of them can spend some time gettin’ to know each other, and you and I can do the same.” Tyler said and Sam nodded. “Let me just finish up with her truck, it’ll only take a few minutes.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll go tell Jake and Georgia where we’re going.” Sam said as she headed out of the garage. She made her way back to the house, where Georgia had just walked back into the house. She held the door open for Sam. Jake was in the house, typing something on the laptop he’d been given for work. His lips turned up as Sam sat down next to him. 

“Hey, I’m going to go with Tyler to go get your Christmas present.” She said and Jake stopped typing and regarded her warmly with a soft smile.

“Are you now?” He asked, one of his hands reaching for her knee. “Is Georgia going?”

“No, he has to pick up her present, so she’s staying.Maybe the two of you can get to know each other a little better.” Sam pressed a quick kiss to his lips and then stood. She went into the kitchen where Georgia was leaning back against the kitchen counter. The look on her face said everything that Sam needed to know.

“You feeling okay?” She asked and Georgia nodded. 

“Yeah, Jaycen is just kicking an awful lot today. I don’t know whether to try to take the dogs for a walk or to go lay in bed.” She said and Sam stepped closer.

“Would you mind if I...” She began and Georgia smiled. 

“Well, you are goin’ to be his aunt, so, of course.” Georgia glanced down and Sam placed her hand just below Georgia’s belly button. She felt a little bump against her hand and her mouth dropped open in awe.

“Oh! He’s a strong little bugger.” Sam laughed. She let her hand fall away. 

“Yes. And he’s gonna be so spoiled and so loved when he gets here and I think he knows that. I just hope he doesn’t decide he wants to come too early.” Georgia mused and Sam smiled warmly just as footsteps padded into the kitchen.

“He’s got that Owens blood in him. He’s gonna give you a run for your money, I guarantee it. I been given’ my momma a hard time since I came outta her.” Jake said, making both of the ladies laugh. Jake smirked as he glanced at Sam. 

“So, I don’t want you to be offended, but I asked Tyler if he would take me into town to get Jake’s Christmas present. He said he has to pick yours up too. If that’s okay?” Sam said sheepishly. Jake raised a brow at her then, not quite understanding why she was acting the way she was with Georgia. It seemed as though she was not only afraid of offending or upsetting her, but it almost seemed like she was afraid of her. It would be something they would discuss later on. 

“Why would I be offended by that? I have to get Tyler’s present. I was going to have Boone and Kate come get me, but I should probably take Jake, huh?” Georgia asked and Sam smiled and nodded in agreement at that. 

“Well, I already have Sam’s present, but I could pick up a few more things to add to it.” Jake said as his hand met the small of Sam’s back. 

“Perfect. This worked out pretty good then. Maybe, Jake, you can supervise my walk with the dogs. Tyler doesn’t really want me going out alone. I wanted to try to ride Twist...” Georgia’s stream of thoughts were all over the place and she absolutely blamed it on her pregnant brain and body. The screen door creaked then, and there were booted footsteps with a slight limp. 

“Ain’t no way yur ridin’ unless I’m here.” Tyler’s voice boomed his entrance into the kitchen. Georgia smirked wide at him as he made his way over to kiss her. 

“Mmm, oil and diesel, such a wonderful cologne you’ve picked there.” She said as he pulled her close. He glanced down as he felt a strong bump at her stomach.

“Damn! He’s feisty today.” Tyler laughed and Georgia reached up to cup his cheeks.

“He knows who his daddy is.” She said, making Tyler wiggle his eyebrows. He kissed her hungrily again and then he stepped away, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. 

“Jake. I expect you to take very good care of my girl while I’m gone. Protect her like your own, you got that?” Tyler said, taking a long swig of the water. Jake chuckled and folded his arms across his chest, while leaning against the counter opposite of him.

“Same goes for you.” Jake said sternly and Tyler turned, grabbing Jake’s shoulders and shaking him. 

“Oww, you fucker. I might be healed but it still hurts, you cocksucker.” Jake said, grabbing his brother playfully, pulling him off balance. Tyler’s laugh, it was one that Georgia hadn’t heard in a very long time. It was a deep belly laugh that rumbled through him and shook his whole body. It made Georgia tear up a little to see him with his brother. She could see how close they were even though they’d be apart for so long.

“Fuck, I think we’re too old to rough house anymore, especially in front of our ladies.” Tyler said, smacking his brother gently on his upper back. Jake took a hold of one of Tyler’s biceps and squeezed and then patted him in the same spot on his back as he had done to Jake.

“You might be right about that.” Jake said. “Don’t worry, bruh, I’ll keep you lady safe. That’s my nephew in there too.” 

“You are right. We’ll take Grits with us. You know how he is. Sam, did you want to bring one of your dogs?” Tyler asked and Sam nodded.

“I think I should take Muster. She needs to get out and do things with other people. She’s so timid.” Sam explained and Jake shook his head in agreement.

“Yeah, can’t be like that if she’s a protection dog.” Jake said and Sam smiled. Sam called for the puppy, who didn’t look so much like a puppy anymore. She looked more like a mini version of an adult Malinois. She was pretty and dainty, with brilliant amber eyes and a white spot on her chest. She also had a little stripe of white under her jaw that had grown in recently. Rocco came trotting in as well and Sam kneeled down to rub his little head.

“Sorry Roc, you’re all socialized. Besides, I know how much you love spending time with Jake.” Sam said as the little red dog reached up and licked Sam’s chin with a small whine. Jake laughed when she stood, giving her a kiss on her cheek and then her lips.

“Have fun. Can’t wait to see what you’re gettin’ me.” Jake smirked, rubbing his hand across her lower back as she turned to follow Tyler, who was saying goodbye to Georgia in a similar fashion, but he placed his hand on her belly before he stepped away. As they got to the door, Grits was waiting, sitting patiently.

“Silly dog.” Tyler said, bending down to pat the puppy. “C’mon buddy.”

🌪️ 🛩️🛻⚓

“There’s so many to choose from.” Sam said, walking up and down the aisle at Cavender’s, a boot and workwear store in Stillwater. 

“Well, Jake likes Twisted X’s, and Ariat, so maybe that helps?” Tyler suggested, watching Sam as she picked up several pairs of boots and examined them carefully while he held both dog’s leashes. She glanced at him apologetically.

“Sorry. I just want it to be perfect.” She said and Tyler smiled warmly.

“Don’t be sorry. Whatever you get him, he’s gonna love. It’s not even about the thing either, it’s about the fact that he loves you a lot. I can tell.” Tyler said, running a hand over Grits’ back. Sam stopped for a moment, her hands on a pair of boots that were a simple brown color with a square toe, mid calf shaft, and a classic stitched pattern with green piping following the stitches.

“Think he’d like these?” She asked, while not thrilled with how plain they were, she needed to look past that, because they weren’t for her. They were for Jake. She knew that Jake did like simple clothing and casual style, nothing extravagant. He liked things that looked clean and well maintained. The simplicity of the boots made them exactly that.

“I do.” Tyler said. He stood as Sam grabbed the box for the boots and Tyler handed her Muster’s leash. The dog stuck to Sam’s side like glue as they continued through the store to the check out. Tyler hated putting a leash on Grits, knowing that the dog would stay with him just like Muster did with Sam, but he knew he should just in case Grits saw something he wanted to chase.

Sam paid and as they exited, Tyler took out his phone, and gave a quick call to the store where Georgia’s gift was. They hopped in the truck and headed that way.

“So, what did you get for Georgia?” Sam asked, placing Jake’s gift on the floor at her feet. Tyler’s smile widened and he glanced at Sam.

“You’ll see when we get there. You’ll appreciate it too, I think. Gee was sayin’ you had horses?” Tyler asked and Sam nodded.

“Yes, a long time ago. My dad bought me a hunter pony when I was a kid and then I showed in the bigger jumping classes until about half way through high school. We had a really beautiful horse and I miss him. I miss jumping a bit but having the dogs is a nice substitute. I’m really enjoying learning about all the protection sport stuff.” Sam explained and she glanced back at the little black dog who had curled up comfortably next to the red cattle dog. 

“It’s good to have somethin’ you enjoy outside of work and relationships. Y’know, havin’ somethin’ for yourself. Like I love weather...I love Gee, but I sure do love fixin’ a truck. It’s one’a my favorite things to do in the world, besides bein’ with Gee. I’m makin’ up for lost time there...” Tyler said and Sam tilted her head questioningly.

“What do you mean by that?” She asked.

“We’ve got a bit of a rocky past. There’s definitely fault on both of our parts.” Tyler said, his jaw working. Sam decided not to pry. She understood when someone didn’t feel like talking about something in their past, maybe more than anyone else. 

When they arrived at the tack and feed store, Tyler hopped out and before he closed the door he told her to stay. “I’ll only be a few minutes. Just picking up Gee’s present and my grain order so I’ll have to move the truck again anyway. No point in us all gettin’ out and back in.” 

Sam nodded and she decided to check her phone. She had a few texts that she’d left unanswered from the past couple of days. She’d told Nat and Maisy that she was trying to not be on her phone while they were down here and both girls understood that. They were busy with holiday things anyway. She also had a text from Rooster, which caught her off guard slightly.

Nat: hey, just wanted to wish you a merry christmas. Got something for you when you come back. Taking Bob home to meet mom and dad so this should be interesting. Never thought this was gonna go this way but I’m trying out what you said. Winging it a bit.

Maisy: merry christmas from Javy and I! Have fun down there and enjoy your time away. You and Jake need it!

Rooster: hey, just wanted to say merry christmas. Iris was really excited to meet you. I hope it was okay that I brought her along. I get it if you’re mad at me.

Sam sent a ‘merry christmas’ back to the girls and then she responded to Rooster, trying her best to not be harsh. She thought she succeeded.

Sam: Merry Christmas Bradley, hope you get to see Mav too. I think Iris is good for you. Hope you enjoy the holidays with her. I’m really happy for you.

If he could detach a little bit, maybe he could move on. Then Sam could move on. She needed the memory of that night to no longer be seared into her brain. 

Tyler surprised her when he got back in the truck. He placed four halters on the center console, all hand made, hand tooled, with beautifully etched nameplates on each one and a matching lead line. 

“Wow. These are super nice. I see you got one for Rascal too.” Sam said, picking up the halter that was meant for Tulsa. The three for Georgia’s horses were a dark brown leather, with pink leather piping. Rascal’s was brown with green leather piping. 

“Well, had to get my buddy a Christmas present too.” Tyler said with a smile as he pulled the truck to the loading dock. The employee chucked several bags of grain in the back and tapped on the back of the bed once he had finished. Tyler waved to him and drove off. 

🌪️ 🛩️🛻⚓

Georgia pulled on a jacket and Jake followed suit. It wasn’t too cold but with his injury, his bones ached with any type of chill in the air. He kind of hated that. They let the dogs file out of the farmhouse first, and Jake let Georgia go ahead of him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked next to her. The dogs bounded out in front, playing and romping as they headed through Twist and Wilene’s field. Tyler had recruited Dustin, Lennon, and Boone to help expand the pastures so that the horses would all have a little more room to roam around. Georgia was thankful for that, loving that Tyler had the animals best interest at heart. 

“Chilly. I’m not used to freezing temps anymore. I used to go home to Dardanelle every winter but that’s not enough to stay used to it.” Jake said, trying to make some sort of small talk. He wanted to talk to her about something else, but he was hoping maybe she’d bring it up.

“I’ve lived in Stillwater my whole life, except when I was rodeoing, but even then I could never get used to any one climate. The rodeos were all over the country.” Georgia said, glancing at Jake. There it was, and he was going to take his chance.

“Yeah...y’know I’m sure you and Tyler have talked about it but...” Jake’s brows furrowed and Georgia knew exactly what he was asking.

“Tyler and I have made our peace with each other...obviously.” She said, motioning to her belly. Jake chuckled and she spoke again. “He’s been wanting me to meet you for a while though.”

“Yeah same. Can I ask why you didn’t come back though? I’m sure you’ve told him but I’d like to hear it for myself. He hasn’t told me anything that you two have talked about yet so...” Jake asked and Georgia nodded.

“I had just lost my father not too long before I met Tyler. We spent six months straight together. We knew each other as much as we could. But I was terrified that after he got injured, knowing him, he’d try to ride again, and that he’d get hurt again and die. I couldn’t lose someone else. My father’s death was...”

“You don’t need to say anymore. I get it.” Jake said, stepping closer to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I’m just glad you two reconnected. Tyler talked about you then like you were his entire world. Now, jeez, you’re his entire universe. You mean so much to him. That’s kinda how I feel with Sam.”

“You and Sam are a really beautiful couple. I’m excited for the wedding. Tyler and I didn’t really have anything. He said he wants to have a party once Jaycen is born to celebrate him and our marriage. Tyler’s always so brash with his decision making.” Georgia laughed and Jake agreed.

“He’s always been like that. I am to a degree. It’s why I joined the Navy. We also make sure we get what we want. I knew Tyler would get this life that he’s livin’ with you. Wife, kids, house, farm. That was always his plan.”

“What was your plan?” Georgia asked, tripping slightly over a rock that she didn’t see. Jake caught her though, making good on his promise to watch her every move.

“I wanna be an Admiral and be the best pilot in the Navy, but now because of Samantha...I want some other things too. I want kids with her. I never thought I’d want to be responsible for small humans but...I dunno...she’s changed me...in a good way.” Jake explained and Georgia smiled up at him.They stopped, Georgia realizing they’d come to the end of Twist and Wilene’s pasture. They watched the dog’s bound through a patch of freshly fallen snow. Most of it had melted, but where there were dips or divots in the ground there was still some hanging on.

“Jake...Tyler and your momma told me you were one of the only reasons he was able to get through his rehab. I thought maybe you’d have some ill will toward me knowing that’d I’d left him, but you don’t seem to. I’m really glad you made sure he got better.” Georgia said and Jake pulled her in a little tighter.

“I don’t have any ill will toward you because I see how happy you make my brother. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for him. I’ve wished for him to have this life, just like he’s dreamed of it. And you’re back in it, helping to make it come true for him. That’s so much more important than being mad at you for somethin’ you did a long time ago. I know some people who can;t let go of their past and their regrets and their mistakes. I don’t wanna live like that. I don’t need that in my life. I want good shit from here on out. For all of us.” Jake explained and Georgia leaned into him as they turned to walk back toward the house. She was getting tired and Jake could tell by how heavily she was leaning on him. He would get her back home safely and get the fireplace lit so they could all warm up.

[astersofthesky]

VERY WELL SAID OP!!! Also to add, I've recently just finished rewatching season 1 and one thing that I also wanna add is that InHo is also greatly influenced by the games philosophy of "having equal chances for everyone."

(apologies for the badly cropped image!)

InHo, who was once an officer, was falsely accused of taking bribe from a criminal resulting to him entering the games in 2015 for his wife and unborn child. He saw the game as one last shot at life (a common feeling the players have when entering the game—even Gi Hun entered the game again for his mother).

In-Ho had seen the worst of the games and had also seen how people kill and deceive each other for money. And how the VIP's also sees the lowest of the low as some worthless betting horses to gamble for and get entertainment.

I just know he is disgusted by all these things, coming out as a player himself and as a former purveyor of justice.

So yeah OP, i agree that InHo never enjoyed watching or even handling the games. I bet he's just doing it cause he believes he's got nothing anymore. Or maybe the guilt is eating at him everytime he goes home to meet Jun-Ho and their mother so he stopped coming home altogether during 2020 (Ironically Gi-Hun's game).

I feel like it was guilt and fear of facing Jun-Ho and letting him know what evil things he did in the games is the reason why In-Ho came back and became the frontman. Or maybe he came back a regular pink guard and climbed his way up in the ranks (I wouldn't put it pass him) all because he thinks humanity is dead (his humanity is dead).

BUT IF THIS IS THE CASE, then the way he's obsessed with giving these "scums" the last "shot" at life clashes with his disgust in humanity right??

Comes in the hope, this secret hope he still cherishes inside his shredded yet fully locked heart that maybe humans aren't so far gone yet.

That maybe if we keep on giving equal chances to everyone, someone out there would show that the human heart is not only made to deceive and hurt and be evil.

Then come Gi Hun who was one step away from winning yet he came back to give up the game to save him and Sang Woo.

That caught his attention.

All his life he's known cruelty (even as an officer) to being the frontman and come this guy with all smiles and naivety and hope and kindness cause i juuust know In-Ho was intrigued when player 456 chose player 001 despite being an old man during the marbles game not even knowing what the game will be.

This man is full of love. And In-Ho knew it when Gi-Hun picked up Sabyeok's brother is okay and ensured that he and Sang-woo's mother are all financially and emotionally okay.

I bet In-Ho was feeling frustrated when Gi-Hun dialled their number and told he's gonna track him down not just because he'll be a threat but because he knows Gi-Hun is throwing out the chance to heal and be happy the way In-Ho was too cowardly to do to his brother and mother.

Gi-Hun will regret coming back the way In-Ho regretted saying yes to being the frontman.

Now, even joining the games, he got to know Gi-Hun more and not just from pictures and reports. But he gets to know him personally and In-Ho sees that as much as they're alike they're different.

They're different cause he thinks Gi-Hun is still naive for seeing the world in black and white but In-Ho sees the gray areas and some people does use the money for good.

They're alike cause this shows that deep down, In-Ho believes that greed for money is not the only thing keeping this people fighting and hoping the same way Gi-Hun believes that greed for money can be overcome by standing over on what's right and fighting for human lives and hoping in humanity's innate goodness.

Even Lee Byung-Hun said that unknowingly In-Ho might be rooting for Gi-Hun's belief to be right over his own.

Not because he's entirely wrong but Gi-Hun's belief leads to a hope he had lost when his wife and child died. When all he sees are cruelty atop cruelty (and even most of them because of his doing) and he's just numbed and he wants to care for Jun-Ho but can't and will never be able to come back.

And that's why In-Ho is a selfish coward 'cause he wants Gi-Hun to be right but he's scared that maybe, that the hope Gi-Hun brings, is only temporary.

That Gi-Hun will become like the people he despised the most.

That Gi-Hun will eventually become a monster like himself.

So he crushes everything that Gi-Hun cares about. He kills Jung-bae. He kills "Young-Il." He was already trying to nip the bud of hope in his chest cause he's scared to be proven wrong and be all broken all over again when he had already developed this numb, indifferent mask over the course of the years.

Cause if Gi-Hun gives up, then he can give up into the delusions of second chances as well.

If I say that I'm not used to people misinterpreting my favorite characters, I'd be lying. But the way they get so many things wrong about Inho's character is kinda pissing me off because you KNOW that most of them do it to cancel out the possibility of InHun being *something* more than what's shown so far. You don't ship them, that's fair, frankly I don't care. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion UNTIL your opinion is wrong.

Let's talk about a couple of things I've seen being talked about on tiktok (🙄)

“Inho joined the games because ilnam said that it'd basically be more fun to play than to watch so he followed his example." loud incorrect buzzer ! Inho has joined the games before, and not only that, he's also a previous winner, so therefore he's very much aware of what it's like to be a part of it, he's experienced them first hand, just like he's experienced the atrocities of it. they've changed him for the worst and possibly caused him a huge trauma —they're the reason he's lost faith in humanity after all— so, why would he crave to relive it just for the thrill of it? i, personally doubt he even enjoys watching the game.

“Inho didn't look at Gihun with love, he likes to watch him suffer” Short answer is no. He doesn't like to watch him suffer, neither he looked at him with love, not the pure kind of love at least. Two things can be true at once. Inho spent half the season staring at Gihun because everything about the man intrigued him; His determination, his stubbornness, his kindness, his hope, his heart that's full of love despite the pain he suffered, even the pain in his eyes every time someone got eliminated in front of him as if it was the first time it had happened, as if the cruelty of it all surprised him every damn time. How can someone, who's been through the same things Inho has been through, be the polar opposite of him?

now, the reason(s) that I think Inho actually joined the games for..

(yes I am an Inhun shipper, does that make my opinion a little biased? maybe. do i still believe I'm right? absofuckinglutely.)

Let me clarify this: Inho is NOT a good man, no matter the redemption arc he might get in s3, he'll continue to be a terrible person because nothing will ever erase the blood he's spilled and the evil men he's worked for. BUT at the same time, he's not ALL bad, not like the VIPS and ilnam. See, Inhun are the average "yin-yang" trope in fictional romance, (which I eat up every time and I find it very interesting when it's done the right way, don't get me wrong) Inho is bad but there's some goodness somewhere deep inside him. And the only person who's brought it to the surface is Gihun. Sure, he does think Gihun is naive, but he's also the only person who's actually challenged him, who's "forced" him to get his stupid head out of the dirt and look around him, even for a short while and Inho definitely liked what he saw. Honestly, it wasn't even that hard for Gihun to do so because the goodness in Inho wanted and waited for someone to pull him out of the dirt, he wished for someone, something to give him hope for humanity or.. anything. Anything that'll help him escape from his misery.

You can definitely argue that he joined the games to befriend Gihun, to gain his trust and stop his plans when the time comes, which is half true. But keep in mind that he needed to justify his choice to join the games. He's not a VIP nor the mastermind to simply get to do that without consequences. He's the frontman, the one who controls and manages everything. He's needed for the games to work and go by smoothly and successfully without unnecessary losses and problems. Gihun would only cause problems, Inho knew that very well and yet he chose to put him in it once again. He recklessly made that choice, risking pretty much everything because of his inner conflict. A part of him wanted Gihun to prove himself to him, that there's indeed good that'll save the world and the rest of him wanted to prove to Gihun that everything he so strongly believes in is merely a fantasy.

Joining the games and befriending Gihun was the only way for Inho to see the real him, without the heroic mask he puts on every time he faces the frontman. I think he believed that someone as extraordinary as Gihun will either break in front of him and he will end up disappointed by the human kind once again, or Gihun will change everything about the way he thinks for the better. But the problem is that Inho hopes for both of those things at the same time.

And that was Inho's arc in season 2. His inner conflict and how it will affect him, the game and Gihun later on.

[astralzeraphias]

“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”

“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”

[lemongogo]

they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think