#genuinely so indicative of how much they trust each other….

[astralzeraphias]

“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”

“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”

[paragonrobits]

some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:

Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.

The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.

There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.

Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).

Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.

On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.

Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."

[luvergirl777]

unpopular take

ghost isn’t aggressive or overly dominant in any sense. in almost all of his voice lines, he’s calm and collected or simply quiet, especially in his banter and life lessons with soap during the gameplay. he doesn’t like being smacked around in bed, nor does he like smacking around others he loves. he’s had too much trauma from being smacked around, neglected, degraded, assaulted, everything that comes from torture and war that he physically can’t bring himself to do it in relationships.

he’s surprisingly gentle, something that you didn’t really expect going from his outward appearances. in the beginning all of his touches are soft and easy, as much as he can be, like a ghost grazing your skin. he never pushes your limits, respects the boundaries you set up when it comes to what you will and won’t do because he knows what it’s like for those to be crossed without his consent. (the comics are brutal to read, his story is fucked.) it takes him awhile to open up enough to actually get in bed with you, even just cuddling and holding one another.

he’s sensitive when it comes to his feelings regarding you, he’s lost everything he’s loved before so it’s a new experience for him. he worries a lot that he’ll lose you too somehow. he knows he’s not good with words or showing his care most of the time outwardly, something he’s picked up over his time serving. so he tries extra hard with the more subtle indicators, picking up small gifts that remind him of you, when you finally get to spend time together he offers his undivided attention, placing his hand over ledges he knows you bump into often, going out of his way to leave you a coffee when he has to go, etc.

when you finally trust each other enough to actually sleep with one another, he’s so careful. he’s afraid to hurt you, to scare you away, to accidentally push past your limits. he doesn’t like being rough with you, he doesn’t think you deserve that sort of treatment, doesn’t want to feel like he’s working again. he likes slow and close, the stark contrast of genuine intimacy he’s unused to being welcomed with open arms. missionary where he’s leaning close over you, bodies flushed, eye contact, noses brushing against each other, telling you how good you are for him, how much he really loves you. after the deed is done, he’s just as careful. doesn’t want you or him to feel used in any way, talking, holding one another close, kissing your forehead, cheeks, nose, carefully cleaning you up, etc. he’s gentle to you, for you.

[cosmicanakin]

Hi, can you do an imagine about pranking vinnie, and telling him to try not to annoy you today, please

pranks ⎯⎯ V HACKER.

YAP SESH! thank you for requesting nonnie baby! i'm sorry if it wasn't exactly how you wanted it but i hope you enjoy <3

⎯⎯ you prank your boyfriend by telling him not to annoy you & it backfires, which wasn't what you expected.

WARNING(S) angst | pranks | F!READER | emotional distress | crying. ୨ৎ MATURE CONTENT!

୨ৎ VINNIE'S LIBRARY.

you wake up feeling mischievous, plotting a prank to play on your unsuspecting boyfriend vinnie. thinking up the perfect plan to really mess with him, you can't help the smirk forming as he slowly stirs awake.

leaning over, you whisper in his ear "good morning baby." however, your usually sweet tone holds an underlying edge of irritation that has vinnie blinking in confusion. before he can say anything, you continue in a clipped manner.

"i'm already annoyed so don't bother me at all for the rest of the day, okay? i mean it." his eyebrows furrow, clearly taken aback by your sharp words. searching your face for any sign that it's a joke, hurt washes over him as you give no indication you don't seriously want space.

"okay..." he says hesitantly, hurt flickering in his eyes as he climbs out of bed. part of you feels guilty seeing how your prank is already affecting him, but you're determined to commit fully to the bit. hopefully he'll catch on soon that you're messing with him.

throughout the morning, vinnie keeps his distance as asked, seeming uneasy and unsure what to do to not annoy you further. any attempts at jokes or affection are met with exaggerated irritation, cementing in his mind that you genuinely need space from him.

it grows harder to maintain your façade as his usual cheerfulness fades into guarded silence. by midday, remorse is gnawing a hole in your gut seeing how dejected vinnie appears. when he recoils from your touch with worried eyes, you can no longer take it.

"vinnie, i need to tell you something," you start, grabbing his arm as he tries to walk away. he pauses but doesn't turn, shoulders hunched in defeatedly. "this was all just a stupid prank baby, i don't actually want space from you."

whirling around, hurt and anger flash across his features. "a prank? i thought you were seriously pissed off at me! you had me questioning everything all day," he shouts, hurt turning to rage the longer he processes how badly you messed with him.

"i'm sorry, it was just a joke. i didn't mean to actually upset you,” you scramble to apologize but he brushes past, heading for the door. "where are you going?" panic surges through you, worrying you may have broken the fragile trust between you.

"i just need to be alone for a while, i can't even look at you right now," he spits venomously before slamming the front door behind him. collapsing to the floor, you pull your knees up to your chest as quiet sobs escape your lips.

hours pass with no word from vinnie, your texts and calls going unanswered in a painful silence. night falls heavily, adding to your despair wondering if you pushed him too far this time. just as you're about to give up hope, the door creaks open slowly.

lifting your head, you see vinnie standing uncertainly in the doorway, eyes puffy and red-rimmed from his own tears. without a word, he crosses over and falls into your waiting embrace, holding on for dear life. neither of you speak for a long while, simply taking comfort in being close again.

finally, vinnie pulls back enough to look at you with watery eyes. "i'm still so fucking mad at you but i love you too much to walk away. just promise me no more stupid pranks, okay?" he pleads brokenly.

"i promise, i'm so sorry, baby. can you ever forgive me?" you ask, cupping his face gently. he nods, pressing a lingering kiss to your lips in acceptance of your apology. holding each other tightly, you both silently vow to communicate better to avoid such hurt in the future.

[sillybruja]

Synastry Observations: Frenemy/"enemy" edition part 1

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional astrologer, this purely my observation based on repetitive patterns I notice within the signs, placements, houses etc. Take what I say with a grain of salt and understand not every astrology observation will resonate.

↳Heavy 8th House Synastry and/or negatively aspected 2H synastry↴

This one is a doosey. Personally, I never had 8H synastry with anyone that I have ever considered a friend, but I have seen this play out with other friendships. This synastry can suggest an imbalance of give and take, as well as a friendship that can be "obsessive". Feelings of jealousy, envy, and even resentment build over time. I've seen this also manifest as jealousy over the person's other friends, family, and sometimes even romantic partners. Very karmic & a difficult bond to break, but it could also be very emotionally harmful. It also highly depends on the emotional state of the people involved, especially the emotional state of the house person as they seem to be the most "reactive" in this situation.

↳Sun/Moon/Mercury/Venus in 12H↴

These placements can definitely indicate secrecy created in a friendship dynamic. Either the friendship itself is kept secret, or one/both parties feel suspicious of the other, no matter how much time has passed or trust has been earned. Another heavily karmic synastry aspect to have. Usually the planet person is more aware of the pain each other causes, but the house person also feels the intensity. A lot can be ruined due to misunderstandings with this placement, but in the same regard -- this placement does also indicate two people who are magnetically connected, but eventually have their perception of each other morphed over time into something more negative. Truth be told, both parties see each other in a more "tainted" and deluded way as time goes on because both parties are secretive about their suspicions. Suspicion left undiscussed only has room to grow. Not always the case, but when this manifests in an "ex-friendship" or in a synastry chart of frenemies, its easier to see the ways either one or both have deceived each other in a connection. I've also noticed specifically with Moon/Mercury (sometimes venus) in 12H synastry shows how one person "prys" in the other's life. For example, having Mercury in 12H synastry could mean that one person oversteps and over-inquires about the other. Maybe this person listens to, inspires, encourages, or spreads misinformation about the other. Or, this person generally feels "superior" in the themes of mercury like communication, travel, intelligence, logic, etc. It also gives "pick me" vibes, or like those female friends you have that enjoy laughing at you or embarrassing you around others for validation. Icky.

↳Chiron conjunct personal planets and/or the nodes↴

These aspects are the definition of fated to me. When this is present in the chart of two frenemies, I know these two really hurt each other in various ways. When its chiron conjunct sun/moon for instance, I see a lot of damage to the ego, and self-confidence when dealing with each other. One person feels massively insecure in the presence of the other, and in enemy cases, its almost as if one person (usually chiron person) clings onto sun person even if chiron person harbors hate, bitterness, or resentment towards the sun person. Chiron conjunct personal planets can bring a lot of instability on so many levels -- on a soul level, physical / material level, emotional level, 3D, 5D etc etc. These connections are usually very painful because at one point in time, these two individuals could have been very close or trusted each other, and things took a left turn when both began to trigger each other. I've also seen this in complicated friendships where the two are not exactly true friends, or honest/genuine friends to each other, but there's a weird sense of loyalty toward one another. Maybe you two are in secret competition, and you feel the other person does not like you. Typically you would end communication with someone like this, but with this person, you find excuses for them and reasons to remain in their energy. kinda odd tbh. Chiron conjunct the nodes says all the same but speaks more so to the soul missions of the individuals. This could mean you both agreed to be here to have problems and to learn lessons together lol. But with chiron conjunct NN/SN, the connection will feel very electric but will most likely fizzle out over time.

↳Busy 3H synastry / lilth 3H / Chiron 3H / Pluto 3H / Neptune 3H↴

Ugh, the gossip. The lies. The bullying. the fakeness. This synastry is like toxic sibling rivalry except they're supposed to your friend. When you have this synastry with a frenemy, you will experience a lot of bs from them and vice versa. These placements also suggest heavy gossip about each other and usually what's being talked about involves the rough stuff. I am talking, the stuff you told this person with confidence that they'd never tell a soul. These people can hit below the belt when they're scorned. I've seen these enemies being very direct towards each other as well, so not only is there open gossip involved, this person will also own up to it! They're the type to be like "yeah b!tcH! I said that. Do you want me to repeat myself??" very confrontational, which could also lead to yelling matches or serious mutual moments of rage. Lilith in 3H is roughest when it comes to exposing the other person's darkness when scorned. When you have this aspect with someone, you should probably be cautious of what you tell them because you might think they forgot, but really, they just stored it in the back of their mind to use for later. Pluto 3H will force one or both people to evolve in terms of how they communicate -- harsh lessons about communication, connection, community, and even relationships with others come from this aspect. Chiron in 3H (and even Neptune 3H) will really put you through the ringer. You will have to go through hardships that can constantly trigger your communication and intelligence wound with this person. One last thing I have noticed is that these people were (or still are to a weird degree) typically close to the point where their families are very intertwined with one another. This can manifest as one or both of them getting each other's families (specifically cousins and siblings) involved with their drama, or "picking sides".

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

✨️1K Followers Celebration Day 7: Stray Kids bias wrecker - Jisung✨️

The Heat

AN: We have reached the end of my milestone celebration! Thank you to all of you, new and old, for your support. You have no idea how much it all means to me <3 Time to end this celebration off with my other other arch nemesis lol.

Synopsis: When your roommate brings home a bag of strange cookies, you two don't think much of it. Assuming whoever sold them to him was lying about them containing an aphrodisiac. You both quickly come to realise that you were very, very incorrect.

Heads up: Han Jisung x Fem! Reader, Roommates AU, dub-con elements (because Reader and Jisung are under the influence of an aphrodisiac, but they do genuinely want each other), mentions of masturbation, dirty talk, nipple play (f. receiving), unprotected piv sex, Reader cries a little, Jisung cums pretty quickly, mentions of multiple orgasms, unrealistic sex (Jisung cums more than once and remains hard), hypersensitivity, some usage of a petname for Reader and a barely there praise kink (f. receiving).

Word count: 3658

I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

"You'll never guess what I found!" Your roommate yells, all but slamming the front door open in his excitement.

"Hello to you too, Jisung," you respond dryly but, your curiosity is piqued. Angling yourself to get a better view of the brown paper bag in his grasp from your position on the couch.

"Sorry, hi. I'm just really hyped," he responds sheepishly, plopping down beside you, "but look!"

You're not sure what you were expecting, but a bag filled with cookies certainly wasn't it. "Uh, they look good?" You offer, not really understanding what makes these cookies in particular so special. The little pink hearts on them are very cute, you'll give them that much.

"No, no listen. These aren't just any old cookies. Minho and I stumbled across this kind of weird looking bakery, and the lady who runs it said these cookies are mixed with some really potent aphrodisiacs,"

Yeah, this is not how you anticipated your Saturday to unfold at all.

"So... you bought them from an apparently really shady bakery and just trusted what that lady said?"

Your words take a few seconds to register in his mind. Big eyes blinking at you owlishly. If he hadn't just admitted to something so stupid, you'd reach over to squish his cheeks because of how endearing he looks right now.

"Well, when you put it like that..."

It takes a great deal of effort on your part not to drag your hand down your face.

"Minho should really stop enabling all of your impulsive purchases and ideas,"

"To be fair, he was the one who dragged me into the bakery. I just happened to stumble across these," he says, motioning to the bag now staring at the two of you on your coffee table.

"My point still stands. Why did you buy so many anyway? Why not just get a few if you just wanted to test them out?"

"They were running a special," he mutters.

"I didn't realise you were this naive. I have some magic beans to sell you if you're interested," you tease, grinning as the tips of his ears redden.

"Ha ha ha. Very funny. They weren't that pricey anyway so, luckily I didn't spend much," he reaches for the bag, fishing out a cookie.

"Woah hey, what're you doing?"

"Eating the cookies I bought? Like you said, I'm sure they're a scam, so I might as well eat them since I spent money on them," he responds with a shrug. Your anxiety building watching him take his first bite.

"Oh, they're pretty good, actually. Want one?" He asks, turning his big brown eyes onto you. Now, how are you supposed to say no when he looks at you with those eyes?

"If these are poisoned or something, I swear I'm going to haunt you," you respond, and your roommate takes that as a green light.

"We'll both be ghosts then. I don't think ghosts can haunt each other," he says with a laugh, the brushes of his fingers against yours feeling like electricity as he hands you a cookie.

You choose to essentially shove the cookie in your mouth to avoid dealing with that particular can of worms. Jisung was right. They are delicious. Flavours of strawberry with faint hints of chocolate caressing your taste buds. Maybe they were worth turning into a ghost for if the worst comes to pass, you think.

"See? They're good, right?"

"Yeah, I can't even lie. That's one of the best cookies I've ever had. If we survive this, you should show this oddball bakery to me,"

"Oh," and you immediately regret admitting to him that you actually liked it, "how the tables have turned. What was that you were saying earlier about reckless purchases?"

Rolling your eyes, you stand up in order to get ready for bed. Jisung's smugness more than enough motivation to finally get your ass off the couch.

"Goodnight Jisung," you say, waving him off.

"Goodnight," you don't even need to turn around to see the smirk stretched across his face. You can hear it clear as day.

Everything feels like it's on fire when you wake up the following morning.

You're absolutely drenched in sweat and your throat is beyond dry. Perhaps the oddest realisation of all is that you're wet. As in, obscenely so. Your thighs are smeared in it and you're almost certain it's leaked all the way onto your bedsheets.

What the hell?

It takes you some very long minutes to blink your bleary eyes open. Your muddled mind working a mile a minute to try and make sense of all of this. Last night hadn't been that hot so, there should be no reason why you're this sweaty. Plus, from what you can remember at the very least, you hadn't touched yourself before turning in for the night. So why in the world are you this wet? And more than that, why does it hurt so much more than usual?

'What is going on?' Is that question that echoes through your skull as you join the world of the conscious. You're due for a shower and a change of sheets, you think. You feel pretty disgusting at the moment, and a shower might just be what you need to help calm you down. An ice cold one.

On perhaps the strangest morning you've experienced to date, you don't expect to bump into a shirtless Jisung with a towel wrapped around his slim waist.

You've seen your roommate without a shirt more times than you can count at this point. However, it's never made you feel like this before.

The throbbing gets worse. So, so much worse. Warmth flooding your face when you feel yourself gush onto the fresh pair of sleeping shorts you'd just changed into. Jisung is an attractive man. A very, very attractive man. You've had no qualms with admitting that in the most private parts of your mind and on nights when images of him between your thighs are the only thoughts that can push you off of the proverbial edge.

But it's never been like this.

"Morning," he says gruffly. God, that just made it worse. If you weren't too lost in your own spiral, you'd notice his blown out pupils and the glassy quality to his eyes. How they shamelessly rake over your body. How he has to adjust his hold on his towel so you don't notice how hard he is. How hard he's been for what feels like hours now.

"Morning," you squeak back in response once your higher order functions return to you. Practically slamming the bathroom door in his face and, sagging against it once you're alone.

What is wrong with you?

Taking a shower was minimally successful. At least you're no longer drenched in various body fluids, but you still feel as though there's molten lava coursing through your veins. Everything is just so hot.

Touching yourself while you were in there didn't help either. If anything, it only added fuel to the inferno that seems hell bent on swallowing you whole from the inside out. Maybe you're just in desperate need of a good fuck. It has been longer than you care to admit since you last slept with someone. That Changbin guy was nice and ridiculously attractive. Perhaps you should give him a call.

You're disrupted from your thoughts when you hear a tentative knock at your bedroom door. Jisung. Oh no, you're not sure if you can handle looking at him right now, let alone being in the same room with him. Your mind has been replaying the encounter from this morning over and over again. Even that hadn't helped you cum in a satisfactory way. Which is insane because thinking about him works 11 times out of 10. You must really need to be fucked.

However, you're not a child. You're not going to avoid your roommate and your friend just because you're a little (okay, maybe it's more than a little) more sexually frustrated than usual. You're more mature than that.

"Come in," you say, cringing at the hoarseness in your voice.

To your relief (and mild disappointment), Jisung has a shirt on. Though, the way the tank top leaves his broad shoulders and biceps completely uncovered isn't helping the to soothe the squirming of your insides.

Jisung looks exactly how you feel: like a total wreck. His hair is in dissary and sticking to his damp forehead and his cheeks are flushed with an appealing dust of pink. You wonder if this is what he'd look like underneath you.

"What's up?" You croak, looking at your bedroom door as though it's the most interesting object you've ever seen. He may have a shirt on, but you're not sure you can handle looking at him for too long right now. For both of your sakes.

"Does it feel hot as fuck for you today too? I don't know what's been going on, but I already took two showers today, and I still feel like I might pass out from heat stroke," he says, making himself comfortable on your bed. While not out of the oddinary, having him so close to you is sending your barely coherent mind into panic. The desire to straddle his incredibly welcoming looking lap clawing at your insides.

"Yeah, it does feel a lot hotter than usual today. Maybe there's a ventilation issue or something in our place? Because I checked the weather and it the temperature for the day is on the cooler side, funnily enough," you respond, wiping some excess sweat off of your forehead. So, you're not the only one who seems to feel...off, weird even today. Whatever is happening appears to be affecting Jisung too.

"Really? That's so weird. I thought maybe there was a heat wave or something. I don't know how much more of this I can take," he sighs, throwing himself down. The bottom of his tank top exposing a sliver of his toned abdomen. Fuck.

Before your mind can assault you with fantasies of covering his abs in your wetness, that's when it hits you. Those damn cookies. They have to be the reason you're like this and that you suspect Jisung is experiencing something very similar.

"Jisung, I think I know why we're feeling so hot right now," you rush out, fingers absentmindedly toying with your blanket.

"Really? Well, I'm all ears," he responds, turning to give you all of his attention.

Fuck, how did you not realise it sooner? Jisung's eyes are almost black with how dilated his pupils are. Desire flashing like a neon sign on his face.

You really can't afford to soak through another pair of shorts right now. Focus.

"I think the cookies - I think the cookies weren't a scam," you mutter, hugging your legs to your chest. Your face is so warm that you're surprised the heat from it isn't radiating off of you.

He just keeps looking at you. You know the moment your words sink in because his face quickly shifts from a pretty, pink flush to an almost scarlet red. His mouth opening and closing as he grapples with what to even say to you.

"What? What makes you think that?" It's his turn to squeak and avoid your gaze. Seemingly fascinated with your ceiling.

"What else could it be? We both had them yesterday, and now we're sweating buckets and -" You cut yourself off. Jisung doesn't need to know you've been wet all day. You should probably keep that part to yourself.

However, the universe is determined to make you suffer, "And what?" He asks, meeting your eyes briefly before turning away. His teeth toying with his bottom lip.

"It-It's fine. Don't worry about it, but, um just trust me. I really think those cookies are the reason we're like this," You stutter out, studiously ignoring the lecherous thoughts creeping back into your mind.

Jisung doesn't say anything at first. Just laying there before sitting up once more, his hand ruffling his hair, "I wasn't kidding when I said I don't know much of this I can take. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

That you can relate to. Intimately.

"The solution is pretty obvious," you joke in an attempt to lighten the thick tension in the air. It almost makes it difficult to even breathe properly.

Your words have the opposite effect, however. Startled, fiery brown eyes meeting your own. Jisung looks like he's seriously considering it, and you're not sure whether your stomach knots itself in hope or anxiety.

"Jisung, I was-"

"Do you want to?"

Now it's your turn to stare at him in stunned silence. Probably looking like an absolute buffoon gaping at him. Is he joking? Is this his way of getting back at you?

"Wha-What?" Comes your brilliant response.

"Do you want to?" He repeats, both looking and sounding deathly serious.

"You don't have to do this, you know. If you don't want to. We can j-"

"I want to," he interrupts again, his cheeks darkening, but he doesn't falter in his words.

Your very hot, very kind, very funny roommate is offering himself on a silver platter. Even if you weren't so wet you could die, you'd be an idiot to say no.

"Okay," you whisper, meeting his eyes head on. Your heart thundering against your chest as you watch him shift closer to you. Barely any space left between the two of you. You're not sure who moves first, and it ultimately doesn't matter because after months of fantasising about it, Jisung's mouth is finally on yours.

Maybe it's the cookies, but your first kiss isn't gentle or slow or sweet. It's fierce and messy and desperate from the very beginning. Your hands not sure where they want to settle themselves. Alternating between pulling on his hair, pulling the most delicious whimpers from him or steadying yourself on his muscular shoulders while you two fall deeper into each other.

The gasp that leaves your mouth when Jisung nestles himself between your thighs is loud and throaty. He's hard. So hard and so hot that you can feel the heat radiating from him even through your respective clothing. Jisung wastes no time in covering your throat and jaw in sloppy, uncoordinated kisses while he shallowly grinds his erection against you. Greedily searching for any semblance of relief he can possibly find.

"Ji-Jisung," you moan, arching into his touch when one of his hands gives your breast an experimental squeeze. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he groans against your neck between licks and nips, thumbing at your already hard nipple through your shirt.

"Re-Really?" You manage to ask through the fog. "Really," he responds, impatiently shoving your shirt up and taking one of your nipples into his mouth. To say you were unprepared for the sensation of being enveloped in his wet, warm mouth would be putting it lightly. You're so much more sensitive than usual. It might be the cookies, or it might just be Jisung. Probably a dangerous mixture of the two.

You've never cum just from having your breasts played with but, there's a first time for everything if the increasing wetness staining your shorts and inner thighs is any indication. Jisung, for his part, is content to spend hours with your tits in his face and in his mouth. Licking, sucking and fondling to his heart's content while he desperately humps your thigh. The dream, really.

He's about to whine when you tug him off of you, but he's shut up by your tongue being shoved down his throat. Your hands frantically pushing his tank top up and off of him until his bare torso is free for you to explore. Smiling into him when he whimpers at the way your nails rake across his skin. A pitchy 'fuck' greeting your ears when you accidentally brush one of his nipples. Oh. Interesting.

Kissing and touching him is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, Jisung is fantastic with his mouth, and his firm chest is incredibly fun to explore. Figuring out which places garner you groans or whimpers or whines. Which ones make him grind into harder. Which leads to the other hand. You're so soaked and painfully empty, and kissing him isn't helping to soothe any of those flames.

"Jisung," you mutter against his mouth, your hands ghosting over the waistband of his sweats. Delighting in the way he shudders above you and his abdominal muscles jump under your barely there touches.

"Ye-Yeah?"

"I want you to fuck me, please," you whine into his ear, lightly biting down on his lobe, "it hurts."

Jisung exhales a very long sigh against your throat, "You're going to kill me."

A breathless laugh bubbles out of you when he pulls away to shove his sweats down. Any trace of humour vanishes quickly when his cock smacks against his toned stomach. He's so hard that it looks painful, flushed an angry shade of red, and glistening with pre-cum. You can't help but stare. Your walls clamping down harshly around nothing.

"I thought you wanted to get fucked?" He asks with an arrogant grin on his stupidly handsome face.

"Shut up," you respond, lifting your hips and letting your shorts join the heap of clothing on your bedroom floor. It's your turn to feel a little smug when Jisung's eyes zero in on your pussy. You don't think you've ever been this wet in your entire life, and you're too far gone to have any semblance of self-consciousness or embarrassment.

Jisung returns to his position between your thighs before you can fire out any quips, his cock nudging your entrance causing your head to spin and a soft moan to slip from you. "Stop teasing," you whine, wrapping your legs around his waist and clinging to his broad back.

"So-Sorry," is all the warning you receive before he very gradually starts sinking into you. god, it's never felt like this. Ever. With anyone else. Tears accumulate in your eyes, and a few roll down your face with every inch he pushes into you.

"Are you okay?" He asks lowly, kissing your cheek repeatedly and halting his movements.

"Yeah. Yes, Ji, I'm fine. Please don't stop," you practically moan, clawing into his back when he mumbles a curse and continues.

You can barely think, let alone breathe when he's fully sheathed inside of you. His cock pulsing inside of you violently and Jisung quivering above you, hushed moans of your name and whimpers being pressed into your shoulder. A whine hitting your ears when you squirm a little and tighten your hold around his waist.

"Wait, fuck. Wait, don't move," he moans, his hands grounding himself with his hold on your pillowy thighs. You struggle to comprehend his words. Everything is so muddled and overwhelming, and he just feels so fucking good, and he hasn't even moved yet.

At first, you assume Jisung's increase in sounds of pleasure and throbbing inside of you is just because he's as overwhelmed as you are. Every single nerve feeling like it's engulfed in flames. However, when his strained apologies register, you realise he came. Hot spurts of his cum flooding your eager pussy and open-mouthed kisses being pressed into your shoulder between apologies.

"Ji-Jisung,"

"I'm fuck I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to. It just happened. Fuck you must think I'm so pathetic-"

"Jisung, stop. It-It's okay. That was really hot actually," you mutter, and you mean it. If anything, you're flattered that you managed to make him cum so fast.

"What? Really?" He asks, blinking down at him. His pretty eyes beyond fucked out and sweat dotting his face. God, he's so pretty. Your pussy clenching involuntarily.

"Yea- Wait, are you still hard?" You ask, only realising now that he's still nestled deeply inside of you despite the cum that's gradually starting to dribble out of you.

He looks as shocked as you. Seemingly not realising that his own cock hadn't softened in the slightest. "Holy shit," he breathes, thrusting into you experimentally, drawing a whimper and your nails biting into his back in reaction.

"Remind me to go back to that bakery," he utters into your throat. Giving you little time to adjust before picking up his pace considerably. Between your wetness and his cum, he fucks into you easily. Your combined noises of pleasure echoing throughout your bedroom while you two lose yourselves in one another.

You've been teetering on the edge for what feels like ages. All it takes is for Jisung to find your sweet spot for your eyes to roll into the back of your head and your back to arch into him. Your lovely, lovely roommate fucking you through it all and exploiting your newly discovered weakness.

"That's it, baby," he groans into your ear, his hands holding you firmly in place and making you take each and every thrust he gives you, "You're taking me so well. You're doing so good."

Those words are going to be replaying in your mind for the rest of your life.

Your mind is utterly blank as the most intense orgasm you've ever experienced wreaks your body. Your thighs shaking violently, and your hands holding onto Jisung for dear life while you tighten around him. Fuck. Fuck. You're so full, and it's so much, but not enough at the same time.

"More, please. Jisung, please. I want more," you cry out, not caring in the slightest about the pathetic, desperate edge to your voice. All you're capable of thinking about is cumming on his cock over and over again and, him filling you with his cum until it's still leaking out of you days later.

"I've got you, baby," he whispers, the pet name he's grown a fondness for causing butterflies to arise in your stomach.

"We're far from being finished."

[saerins]

⋆୨ chapter four ୧˚ behind a box of reasons why

⋆୨ if not for you (masterlist) ⋆୨ previous: chapter three - for a while, you were all mine <> next: chapter five - if not for this love of mine ୧˚

⋆୨ synopsis ୧˚ neither of you want this. both you and sae reluctantly agree to this marriage, although sae’s dissatisfaction far outweighs your own. with hidden agendas and old flames, will this ever work out between the two of you, or will your forced spark be doomed to fail?

ೀ series: sae x f!reader | wc 7.3k | ೀ content warnings: fluff/angst, modern au, arranged marriage, rich!sae and rich!reader, jealousy/paranoia, third parties, abuse/gaslighting, some blood, trauma sharing | notes: sorry if there’s any mistakes !! rushed this out and had no time to proof >_< but heh i tried to keep angst minimal so enjoy <3

Tumultuous is a fair word to describe your honeymoon. Between being over the moon when Sae finally started acting like an actual husband to you and being down in the dumps when you realise that he’s still in contact with the ex-girlfriend that he had apparently promised to wait forever for, you’re still a little conflicted.

Still, you’re easy to appease, given how easily you believed him when he promised you he’d stay. You chalk it up to you being efficient—you’re not about to let your overactive imagination ruin your days. You’re just going to trust Sae, even with that little seed of doubt already planted in your mind.

There’s a part of you that believes he wouldn’t bother promising anything he didn’t mean; although you should know he could, given the day of your wedding, both of you lying through your teeths about loving each other. You’d like to believe that the present is different somehow.

It proves hard to do though, given how you’re achingly suspicious every single time a routine changes.

Like this morning, when Sae tells you he’s taken the day off and tells you it’s for no particular reason when you asked him about it. That paranoid voice in your head keeps wondering if he’s just using that time to meet with Mirin.

The chat messages you saw from her that day is an indication that they’re still on friendly terms, if anything. And somehow, it’s enough to make your stomach churn.

“Hey Y/N, you okay?”

Your coworker and best friend at work, Sumi, asks as she swivels her chair around to look at you, the concern lining her brows.

“Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” you tell her, trying to brush it off as you offer the widest smile you can manage.

Sumi sighs, the scepticism clear on her face. “You’re always bottling things up to yourself,” she chides, with a hint of motherly affection your own lacks. “If you need to rant just remember I’ll listen to you anytime, okay?”

Days like this, you’re thankful for nice people like her who treat you normally despite knowing you’re the owner’s daughter. Even working in a subsidiary they own, it’s hard to escape the greedy ones who try to get close for perks.

“Thanks, Sumi,” you tell her, a genuine smile on your face this time. “Maybe I’ll take you up on it one day.”

You’re usually grounded, and you don’t usually allow stray thoughts to influence your mood or decisions. But somehow, it’s difficult when it comes to Sae, and you have to wonder whether it’s because this is the first time you think you’re in love with someone.

How would you know what it is, anyway? How should you know if it’s what you’re feeling? You’d thought Reo was someone you loved, but that felt entirely different. It was always comfortable, like a safe space that you’d rather keep stagnant than to try rocking the boat.

You think about it the entire trip home. Back home, where you’re wondering if Sae’s there, or whether he’s out with—god, you don’t even want to think her name.

When you open the door, you don’t see anyone there, and you feel a sinking in your chest. You’d been hoping that he’d be there and you can keep from overthinking, but maybe that’s asking too much. And just when you’re ready to give up and pour yourself a bath and hope to fall asleep while having one, you hear someone clearing their throat as you retreat down the corridor to your room.

Spinning around, you see your husband there, hair a mess and face stoic as usual, looking like how you first left him in the morning. You blink once, twice, wondering if you’re dreaming. Sae doesn’t usually like to stay cooped up in his room, which was why you’d thought he wasn’t home in the first place, but it looks like you thought wrong. (Yay!)

Sae’s about to speak when you cut him off.

“Oh! Right, dinner—let me put my stuff down and I’ll cook something up!” You’re already bounding down towards your room as Sae tries to call out your name, unfortunately falling on deaf ears.

But he doesn’t have to wait much to get a reaction out of you, your mind twirling a thousand possibilities in your head as to why the fuck your stuff are gone from your room.

Sae thinks it’s absolutely comical how the first things he hears out of your mouth are: “Sae, are you kicking me out? Where’d you send my stuff?”

Because in every single universe, that would be your first thought.

He doesn’t say a thing, only offering you a roll of his eyes and a sigh as he gestures with his hands for you to walk the other way. 

So you do—slowly. You walk towards him, furrowed brows and eyes searching his expression for answers which, unfortunately, do not give anything away because he’s annoying like that.

Fifteen agonising seconds (for Sae) later, you open his bedroom door to find your “missing” items.

The books you’re reading are on one side of the nightstand, your clothes that you’d haphazardly collected on a pile on your chair are in a similar arrangement on the other side of the room where the study desk stands, and even your beloved Santa doll is situated on one side of the king-sized bed, sitting atop the pillow.

Turning around to face Sae again, you suddenly feel the guilt wash over you. While you were thinking that he’d go out and meet his old flame, he probably spent the whole time carefully moving everything over.

To his bedroom.

It takes you a while to really connect the dots.

Sae, on the other hand, is too impatient to wait for you to speak, your mouth slightly open and looking like a total idiot. For once, the expression you see on his face isn’t completely stoic. There’s a lilt in his eyes, and a hint of a smirk tugging on his lips.

“Okay, you figure out where the fuck your room is, and I’ll sit here and wait for you,” he tells you, the playful sarcasm dripping from his lips, his inviting subtle chuckle sounding like the signal of forever.

He sits down on the couch, idly flipping through the channels while you enter the bedroom further and take your time looking around. And by that, you mean to make sure you’re not dreaming.

You slap your face a couple times, you open the cupboard to ascertain your clothes are there, you peek into the bathroom to find that Sae is unexpectedly kind of corny because you find matching his and hers sets of toiletries.

A few minutes later, you find yourself at the doorway, Sae looking at you expectantly, brows raised. “Yes, wife?”

Now he thinks you’re kind of pathetic because he can see your face light up from just a little call of your title. But Sae thinks he might like that look on you. Maybe a little too much than he’s comfortable with.

Your excited grin dissolves into a sheepish one. “That sounds kinda corny.”

Sae shrugs, getting up off the couch, “guess that’s the last time I’ll call you that then—” But he doesn’t get to finish his sentence because you slap your hand across his mouth, and Sae can almost laugh at how different you are from the first time he saw you. Still as pretty, just a little less reserved, a little more happy.

“I take that back,” you tell him, giggling and skipping away to the kitchen, not giving him any time for a rebuttal. “What do you feel like tonight? Fish?”

He follows you, looking over your shoulder as you get the food ready. “Anything, as long as you’re cooking,” Sae says, as if it’s normal that he says shit like that and it takes everything in you not to make too big a deal out of anything he says. “Oh, I’m going out drinking with the guys later by the way, so you can get to bed first.”

Yeah, as if you can get to bed when you’re that happy and excited. Later that night you just end up tossing and turning in bed, grinning yourself silly. And who can blame you? It’s the first proper time that Sae is solidifying that he’s had a change of heart. Even if it’s in spite of all your uncertainties. To which Reo had told you to try talking to him and asking him about it because he’s your husband and you really shouldn’t have to be afraid of talking about the difficult stuff when you have to be with him forever.

Reo’s right, you know that. But you’ll hold off on it. Only because you don’t want to possibly ruin this right after it barely started. It’s foolish, but you really don’t want to go back to square one.

Even if it’s the right thing to do.

That night, Sae gets home only after three, to which he finds you peacefully sleeping on your side of the bed, phone still with its screen lit up. You must’ve been scrolling through it before you passed out.

If he was sober, maybe he would’ve allowed himself to think that this gesture of his was just a whim, that it was a moment of weakness. That you don’t really mean all that much to him. After all, how could you, when he just met you not long ago?

But he finds himself treading carefully, and he finds himself moving quietly, all in the name of not disturbing your sleep. And maybe he can’t convince himself you don’t mean that much to him anymore.

While he gently settles himself on the other side of the bed, your phone buzzes and Sae looks over, your text chat with Reo left open on your screen. The slept already? weak. message he just sent you would’ve been left at that by Sae, except he sees one message at the top, a night, stupid. call me if you need anything. 

And so maybe he feels more for you than he thinks. Because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that message especially because Reo’s your best friend but Sae’s stupid in relationships and he scrolls a little bit upwards and sees the previous message from Reo.

maybe i should marry you instead, sae who 😇

It’s irrational how much it can bother him. Even if it’s dated over a month ago.

When you wake up the next morning, you find yourself pressed up against Sae, his head atop of yours, his arms wrapped around your waist. His breathing’s slow and steady and he’s definitely not up for work, it looks like. And neither are you, because this moment feels precious and you’re not sure what spurred that on, to hug you to sleep out of nowhere, maybe it’s the alcohol, but whatever it is, you’re thankful for it.

At times like this, you’re grateful for the fact that your parents own the company. They’ll be fine if their daughter ditches a day of work. Especially since this was what they wanted from the start—for the marriage to work.

ok, i’ll pick you up later. see you, stupid.

“Someone’s in a good mood.”

Frantically, you try to suppress your grin and lock your phone screen, but it doesn’t escape her—your reason for being happy.

“Meeting your husband for dinner tonight?” Sumi asks, looking like she’s been bored out of her mind for the past half hour anyway.

Deciding it’s pointless to act coy, you nod. “Managed to convince him to cook with me so we’re just gonna stop by the market later.”

“Wow, look at you guys,” she cajoles, nudging you playfully on the elbow. “You know, the first few weeks of your marriage you looked absolutely miserable, I was beginning to wonder if he was abusing you or something.”

You laugh awkwardly, because you can’t blame her for that. For the first few weeks you’d been spacing out at work, going home looking so downtrodden, and then going back to work looking like a zombie. It’s not that much of a stretch for Sumi to think so.

“If he ever treats you like shit, you tell me, okay?” Sumi tells you, looking as fierce as she can muster. Which is funny because she’s a small petite-sized girl, not any older than you and has such pretty brown doe eyes that it’s almost more adorable than angry. “I’ll beat the shit out of him.”

Later on, when Sae waits for you in his car at the lobby, Sumi follows you, curious to see what your husband even looks like because she wasn’t invited to your wedding despite your adamant requests to your parents to include her. Lucky for you, she’s understanding enough.

“Hey, from here your husband looks kinda handsome,” she whispers to you, trying to make out what he really looks like from behind the tinted windows, but it’s hard to see especially when Sae has his shades on. Still, Sumi tries to wear her cynical face, “but a husband who doesn’t even open the door for his wife? What a—”

As if sensing her cynicism, Sae hops out of his car at that moment, black Burberry wool coat shielding him from the cold. He looks straight out of a magazine that you can’t even blame Sumi for gaping as he walks over.

“Hey, ready to go?” He asks you, ignoring Sumi at the side who’s completely gone mute.

“Yeah let’s go,” you tell him, internally laughing at how meek Sumi turns, reminding yourself to make fun of her tomorrow for it until your mind goes completely blank as Sae plants a kiss on your cheek.

You’ve been able to process when his affections go on in private, or around strangers who barely pay any attention, but when he kisses you in front of your friend, you’re half-embarrassed and half-flattered.

Sae puts his hand on the small of your back, starting to guide you to the passenger seat before he turns back to look at Sumi. “Do you need a ride too?”

Sumi hurriedly waves both her hands, shaking her head. “No no, it’s fine I wouldn’t want to interrupt your date,” she tells him, and you snicker. She’s being a whole lot more polite than you’re used to her being but you suppose it’s not weird for people to be intimidated by Sae.

He nods curtly in acknowledgement before he goes around to the driver’s seat, Sumi mouthing a ��have fun’ as she winks at you.

That’s exactly what you plan to do—you and Sae being at the grocery store together makes you feel like everyday life with Sae, even if it’s doing something simple like this, it really won’t be so bad. His initial cold shoulder and semi-hostile nature has completely gone, and he’s been initiating a lot of things too that you wouldn’t feel right doubting him too much over whatever you might’ve seen back in Korea. Or maybe it’s just your aversion to confrontation that’s speaking.

Either way, you decide to shove it to the back of your mind for the future you to deal with.

A flick to your forehead brings you back to Sae, his deadpan face unamused as he finishes the self-checkout.

“What’re you daydreaming about?”

With a cheeky grin, you shake your head. “Nothingggg.”

Sae clicks his tongue, brushing his card against the reader and doesn’t even wait for the receipt before he’s pushing the trolley full of dinner out to the car. “Mm, must be about me then.”

You feel the heat creep up to your cheeks, pouting as he raises a brow at you, taunting you to deny him. But you don’t, because you’re honest to a fault and Sae knows that.

He suppresses a grin, looking smug as he loads the food onto the trunk, earning a smack on his arms from you.

The ride back to the apartment is so different from the first that you can barely believe it. Sae’s cursing out everyone he had to deal with at work today and you know he’s only doing it because he’s comfortable with you now and it warms your heart. Compared to the first time where he barely spoke to you or even deigned to look at you, you’re impossibly happy right now, your playlist blasting over the speakers while Sae entertains your questions about his day.

“If you hate it so much, why’d you agree to take over the business then?” You ask, though quietly, because you’re not sure if it’s too sensitive of a question.

Sae goes silent for a second, like he’s considering whether he wants to tell you. “There was something else I wanted to do.”

He’s not really answering you, but he’s trying to give you something, and that’s all you really need.

“What was it?”

By instinct, he drives slower whenever he’s thinking. His hand on the joystick tenses up a little, gripping it slightly tighter before he ultimately releases it and shakes his head. He looks in your direction before looking back to the road ahead.

“I’ll tell you next time, okay?”

If he isn’t ready to share, then you’re not willing to press him either.

“Okay.”

By the time you reach home, the atmosphere between you and Sae has dissolved to normal, and you’re all for a wonderful date night in, happily thinking how you should torture Sae by giving him some insanely difficult tasks just to see how he would handle it—until you realise the world loves giving you bad surprises.

The moment you open the front door, your laughter dissipates, replaced by a perplexed smile as you notice the two guests sitting in the living room.

“Darling, there you are!”

Your mother bursts forward to hug you while your father remains expressionless, standing in the bright living room, black suit a stark contrast against the white walls.

Behind you, Sae sticks close, whispering an are you okay? in your ear, waiting for your nod before he relegates to the kitchen to put down the groceries.

“Oh, I hope you don’t mind, we had a copy of the key since we were helping to furnish the place for you both and we just missed our baby so much that we wanted to drop by,” your mother announces, and you already want to gag from the amount of bullshit you hear.

This is definitely not normal parenting.

“Would you like some tea?”

From the kitchen, you can already hear Sae brewing something. You want to help him, but your mind goes numb, drawing a blank. It’s never good news whenever you see your parents. Their care has always been a ruse for some other agenda, and you don’t know if you want to know what they’re really here for.

Questions fill your mind. Questions like why must they come at such a time? or why are they here at all? and then comes the feeling of impending doom all because that since you’ve been young, you’d only ever been taught that your parents’ will are absolute and that you’d rather die than have to disobey and suffer the consequences.

But a warm hand on yours begs to differ. Before then, you didn’t even realise you were trembling.

“You sure you’re okay?” Sae’s right there, beside you, already made sure your parents are distracted by the tea. Calloused fingers intertwined with yours, a gentle squeeze—one, two, three times—to get you to calm down.

“Yeah, I’m fine, really.”

“Sure you don’t wanna just tell ‘em to go?”

“I can’t.”

Two simple words and Sae doesn’t ask any more. There’s a certain kind of comfort to know that he’s here with you, that he’s someone like you, that he knows what you’re going through and out of everyone, he would understand. Two older siblings who unfortunately have to obey their parents’ every wish for probably different reasons and yet suffer in the same way anyway.

“Let’s go,” he tells you, gently dragging you by the pinky. “I’ll take your side whatever it is, so don’t worry so much. We’ll get them out of here in no time.”

Sae makes it sound so easy he makes you nearly believe it. But you of all people know your parents are anything but easy.

About five minutes into small talk (and by that you mean that they’re skirting around, asking about all the pictures hung up in the house, asking why you two still looked kind of awkward when your pictures show otherwise, and last but not least a very awkward question your mum threw about asking for a grandson to which Sae had choked on his tea), your father wastes no more time trying to get to the point.

“So, Sae, how’s our daughter treating you?”

Caught off guard by the question, Sae clears his throat, picking his words wisely. “She’s perfect, sir. Why do you ask?”

Internally, you’re grateful he’s being more polite than he usually cares to be. Can he feel you stressing out beside him?

“Nothing, just curious.” Your father throws you a dirty stare before focusing his attention back on Sae. “So nothing’s been off, then? Everything’s all good?”

Sae’s just as confused as you are, but he keeps his cool, nodding. “Everything’s great. We were actually having a date night in before, well, we saw the both of you here.”

Your father doesn’t say anything much after that. Your mother does most of the talking, but you know this is all just part of their plan. That’s what they always do. Your father is the one who’s straight to business, doesn’t waste his time or energy speaking in some roundabout manner. But he’s not a businessman for nothing—you can’t get anywhere without establishing a connection, and that’s always where your mother comes in. She’s always charming to people who aren’t aware of the inner workings in your family. That’s why you’re immune to it. And after hearing so many negative things surrounding your parents, it looks like Sae is as well.

The next ten, twenty minutes are carried by your mother, talking about anything and everything in the world. Sae talks more so you don’t have to.

“It’s fine, you can pick that up, we’ll have some alone time with our daughter,” your father says after noticing that Sae’s phone has been vibrating for a while now. There’s a pattern—his phone vibrates, Sae silences it, it starts vibrating again. Like the caller either has some emergency or they know nothing about personal space.

Sae’s about to reject again when you put your hand over his, squeezing it in the same way he did. “It’s fine, just go.” And come back soon because I don’t want to be left alone with them for too long—you try to telepathically implant that thought in his head, anxiety gripping tightly onto you.

It’s not like he wants to leave you defenceless, either. He of all people know what toxic parents are like and yours are class A vultures. But he’ll get this call out of the way and then switch his phone off and help you get out of whatever this is.

But then he sees the caller ID and he stills for a minute before picking it up. “Mirin?”

Over the phone, he can hear her muffled voice, saying his name and then a string of words he can’t understand.

“Hey slow down, what’s wrong?”

Mirin’s just sniffling now, and maybe it’s because of all the years of friendship and relationship they had that she can still tug on Sae’s heartstring.

“Remember that you said you’d be there for me if I needed you?” She asks, half sobbing in between. Sae doesn’t know what to answer her, so he keeps quiet. “I really really need you right now.”

Sae hesitates a little. “How bad is it? Can it wait because—”

Mirin’s sobbing gets even louder. “No, please, I just… I really need you here, Sae.”

Maybe it’s because he rarely ever heard her cry like this. Or maybe it’s because of how it’s different when there’s someone crying and begging for him that the words just slip out of his mouth before he realises it.

“Okay, okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Wait for me, yeah?”

Out in the dining room, you’re drumming your fingers nervously on your thighs, shrinking under the heat of your father’s gaze.

“So, have you been behaving, Y/N?” It’s your father speaking, and he’s as relentless as ever. The moment Sae is out of earshot, he’s back to his authoritative tone, the one that he used to ring terror on you and your little sister as children. The one he still uses to this day to assert his authority over you. To remind you that you’re being seen as his properties, that you’re just a cog in the machine that runs for him.

Even if you’re not sure what he’s referring to, you nod anyway. You haven’t done anything wrong.

Somehow, you feel like nothing you do can appease him, because the next moment, he’s heaving a deep sigh, getting up and sitting himself in Sae’s seat, flipping his iPad open and scrolling through something on the screen.

What he shows you next makes your heart sink to your ass.

It’s a picture of when you met Reo last, before you went to Korea, when you were confiding in him about Mirin. There’s nothing wrong with meeting him, you know that. In fact, your parents keep a good relationship with his for a reason. They just never pushed you to marry Reo because there are bigger fish; namely, the Itoshis. But what’s wrong with it is the angle from which it was taken; it’s from behind Reo, and the way he’s leaning forward and your eyes happen to be closed, it looks like you’re kissing him.

You can tell your father a thousand times that that’s not what’s going on and that the angle is misleading, but you know that’s not what he’s nitpicking about. It’s about how you carry yourself, you can recall from those lessons he tried to instil in you as a child. It’s about not giving anyone else anything to say anything about.

“We were just having—”

“I don’t care, Y/N,” your father sighs, rubbing his temples, entirely frustrated for god knows what reason. “I don’t care if you want to be a fucking tramp and fool around with someone else when you’re already married. But if you do so, you better make fucking sure no one sees you.”

There must be an art to how he can say words so cruel, filled with toxin and yet his face remains so straight. There must also be an art on how to not give two fucks because your mother’s in her original seat, sipping on her tea as though this is a normal evening as any.

“Dad, I’m not doing anything wrong with—”

“Do you know how hard it was for us to convince the Itoshis that you’d make an excellent wife?” He cuts you off once again, spitting words that could break your bones. “And here you are, flaunting around town with that Mikage boy.”

Is it bad to say you’ve lost all will to fight when you realise your parents don’t care one bit if you’re in the right or wrong? You want to ask how they managed to get such a picture too, but you doubt they’d entertain anything from you right now.

“You know, we thought you were finally useful after all this time,” your father ponders out loud, eyes fixed on the marble tabletop instead of at his own daughter. “But here you go again, making a mess of everything.”

You’re about to speak, but this time it’s your mother that cuts you off.

“Honey, I don’t think you realise the gravity of the situation,” she says, her voice silky smooth and calm even though what she’s saying is quite the opposite. “This marriage marked a wonderful partnership with the Itoshi company, the merger is almost finished and we don’t want you to ruin it all by wasting your time with some second-rate boy.”

That must be the first time you feel the anger bubbling up and threatening to burst where all other times you’d feel scared. To call Reo second-rate is uncalled for, and your fist clenches, ready to argue, when you hear your father chuckling beside you.

“Looks like this girl can’t control her temper either,” he says, as though you aren’t even here. “That Mikage boy aside, looks like our poor girl here can’t even control her finances.”

“What?”

By now you’re more than just a little confused. You’re used to them having a say in everything when you still lived with them. But now that you’ve already moved out, you’re already used to the freedom that came with not having to worry about them criticising your every move. Turns out, that was premature. Even after moving out, they still make sure to keep track of every single thing.

“Tell me why there’s barely any money left in your account,” your father demands, tone lacking any sort of sympathy and choosing to go full on accusatory. “Did you just go insane and spend it all? Did we bring you up to be a spoiled brat, is that it?”

There’s a dagger to your heart with every single syllable. Finally coming to terms with the fact that your parents never loved you nor cared about your wellbeing hits harder than you expected. They didn’t miss their daughter nor did they care about her happiness in the marriage. It was only ever about them them them.

“I didn’t—”

“Honestly, after all this time you still haven’t learned to control yourself. First it’s with Mikage and now it’s with money—”

“I’m afraid that was my doing, actually.” Sae cuts your father off, stepping in for you, reappearing at the kitchen doorway. His teal eyes are cold, staring straight at your father. “I told her to move it to a joint account since we’ll be sharing finances.”

Your father narrows his gaze, shifting his attention to your husband, your hands shaking under the table. Why does it feel like some bad confrontation is going to happen? One thing’s for sure: your father doesn’t like that rebellious tone of his.

“And what makes you think you qualify for that? What if you try to swindle my dearest daughter out of all her money? As her father I’m sure you can understand why I have my concerns.”

For the most part, it looks like Sae is unfazed, and why wouldn’t he be? From what you gather, it doesn’t look like he’s had such an easy childhood either.

“Then as her father, I’m pretty sure you’d want the best for your daughter, right?” Sae asks, more taunting than anything. “She’s chosen to put her trust in me, so I’m handling it. She doesn’t have to worry. Sounds like a good deal, no?”

Sensing the defiance oozing out of Sae, your father goes back to his favourite target: you.

“Is that right? You trust your husband over your father’s words now?”

The threat in his eyes is real. They’re daring you to go against him, like they just know you’re way too scared to. But then you catch the pair of eyes behind him—the teal ones that look at you gentler than they’ve ever been—and suddenly, it doesn’t seem so scary.

A single nod of affirmation from Sae is enough to give you that pump of courage that you need.

“I trust Sae a hundred percent,” is all you say, deciding that’s enough to get your point across.

But maybe you’d been obedient a little too long, and you’d been spared from how harsh your father could be for too many seasons that you didn’t see it coming. You’d forgotten how cruel he can be, both mentally and physically.

With his hand raised, you watch it go up the same angle like it always did back then, and you’re reminded now of just how much force is behind one of his slaps. You remember the way your little sister cried as she hugged her teddy bear, watching you take the blame for her mistakes and bearing the brunt of your father’s anger. Your eyes squeeze shut, the fear taking over. 

You wait for it to land, but it doesn’t. 

When your eyes open, Sae’s there, his hand around your father’s wrist, a vein appearing on his forehead as he stares him down. 

“You may be her father, but I’ll have to tell you this: don’t you dare hit my wife.” Sae’s more menacing than you thought he could be. His knuckles are white, your father feeling the force before yanking his own hand away.

As always, he’ll look at you with all the hatred he can muster, unwilling to back down. “You ungrateful little bitch—” His words still hurt, but you catch sight of the pot of tea he’s thrusting towards you and you squeal, instinctively cowering backwards. Either way, either the scalding hot tea or the porcelain with which it’s made is going to hit you.

But once again, you’re proven right to trust Sae, because he’s in front of you in a heartbeat, shielding your body from any harm, letting the pot hit the floor, breaking into countless little pieces, some tea splattering onto your arm and you can’t even imagine how badly Sae got hit.

Still, he doesn’t wince even a little bit. He’s still staring at your father, but with his back facing you, you can’t really see him.

“Mr L/N, this is the last time I’m going to tell you nicely. If you dare to hurt Y/N again, I’ll personally stop the dealings myself.”

Your father bursts out laughing at Sae’s declaration, as if he doesn’t believe that Sae has that sort of authority. In all honesty, you’re not sure if he has. But you appreciate the thought. You’re still a little shaken up, eyeing all the little sharp pieces of glass all around the floor.

“Honey.” Your mother’s voice is soft but firm, and she’s only glaring at your father. It’s a look that tells him he needs to back off. It’s a warning, only because she’s his only anchor. She doesn’t care about any of this that’s going on, only at the fact that offending Sae might put their relationship with the Itoshis at risk.

Clicking his tongue, your father rolls his eyes and gets up and you can’t even wish for him to accidentally step on a piece of glass because he’s wearing his shoes in the house. Always prepared.

“Suit yourself,” is his last parting words before he strolls out of the apartment, banging the door shut behind him and leaving you two to the mess.

The first thing you do after they leave is get up and make sure Sae’s okay—although you’re quick to realise he’s not, because his pants are soaked with the tea and there are cuts on his feet and ankles, none too deep but they are still the result of your father’s temper and you feel only guilt. He got into this shit because he was trying to defend you.

But you find out that you’re always underestimating Sae when you feel his strong grip around your arm, preventing you from moving even more.

“Hey, careful, you’ll get hurt,” he tells you, harshly but only because he cares.

You manage a weak smile, “says the one who’s already hurt.”

Sae chuckles, ruffling your hair. “It’s fine, just some small cuts. But you really weren’t lying about your parents. Real piece of work.”

Fifteen minutes later, the two of you are sitting on the couch, Sae letting you tend to his wounds. You have the first aid kit out, and the mess in the dining room is long gone, both you and Sae’s date night ruined because of it.

“Sorry about him. He’s… always been like that.”

There’s a sombre mood in the air, but Sae sighs and flicks you on the forehead. “It’s not your fault, don’t apologise.”

You smile at him, a quiet understanding falling into place. You don’t need to explain your father’s temper and Sae doesn’t need your apologies.

“For what it’s worth, thank you.”

Sae nods, though he feels there’s nothing to thank him for. It may have taken him a while, but he’s figuring this out slowly. If anything, he’s sorry it’s taking him so long. It’s just that since the longest time, there was only one person he’d thought of marrying and now… there’s you.

Your hand reaches out to his feet, dabbing alcohol lightly on the cuts, and Sae doesn’t even flinch. You slowly reach the cuts on his ankle until you freeze.

“It won’t hurt so don’t worry,” Sae tells you, as if you’re the one that needs consoling.

You furrow your brows, unsure, though you heed his words and dab on it lightly. There’s a big scar lining his ankles, and now that he’s changed out into his shorts, you see a similar one lining his knees. All on the right side.

“You can ask if you want to.”

Trust it to Sae to figure out what’s going on in your head.

“How did you get it?”

Sae smiles, but it’s filled with more melancholy than mirth. His eyes seem like they’re gazing into thin air. “Your father seems to use his own physicality when he’s unhappy with something,” Sae ponders, eyes focusing back on your face. “Mine tends to leave me alone. Until I leave him with no other choice but to hire other people to do the hurting.”

You listen to him as you tend to all the cuts, trying to be gentler with the red on his skin, burned slightly from the tea.

“I told you I wanted to do something else right?”

You nod.

“I was dead set on a soccer career instead of taking over the business.”

“You mean, like Rin is now?”

Sae nods. “Yep. Exactly like Rin. Taught that little guy everything he knew.” He chuckles a little, and you can see how fond he is of his little brother, even if he doesn’t express it all that much. “But once they found out both of us wanted nothing to do with their business, that’s when things got ugly. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say they have a certain vision that they wanted me to uphold, and this—” he gestures to the scars on his leg—“was a warning of what would happen to Rin if I refused.”

As an older sibling yourself, you guess you can understand why Sae quit. But going so far as to hurt your own children like that—both your father and his seem to be assholes in their own rights.

“Can you still play at all?” You ask, out of genuine curiosity.

Sae sighs, pondering. “Yeah, but I get tackled once and that’s probably it for me,” he says, trying to lighten the mood with a laugh. “Why? Wanna watch me play that bad?”

You grin. “Depends, is my dear husband gonna let me?”

Sae’s brows raise in surprise. “Oh, someone’s getting comfortable,” he points out, and you can’t stop grinning, earning a shake of his head. “Maybe next time, stupid. We still got dinner.”

“Okay since you’re hurt, I’m gonna cook, okay?”

“I got a few cuts, I’m not a cripple.”

“La la la can’t hear you,” you hum, winking at him before skipping over to the kitchen, intent on saving date night by at least cooking a decent dinner. 

Back at the couch, Sae suppresses a smile as he looks at you, and he wonders what is it about you that he can’t shake off, that he can’t help but let in. He tilts his head in wonder; maybe it’s your adamant nature. In how you’re always nice no matter how much of an asshole he is.

After seeing what your father is like, he feels the guilt building up from the back of his head. If that’s what you had to endure everyday as a child, he doesn’t find your demeanour now to be all that weird.

Before he can even think of anything else, he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket.

Fuck, it’s Mirin. It’s Mirin who he’d promised to go find because whatever it is she’s going through, it sounds like a lot and she’s sobbing her guts out, apparently. And now he doesn’t know what the fuck to do.

“Do you want spicy or garlicky?”

It’s something so small, so tiny—just your voice from the kitchen, the clanging of pans as you hurry to cook a dish for him, and the fact that he knows you’d let him go if he told you he has somewhere to be.

Just like that, the answer isn’t so complicated anymore.

He rejects the call and opens up her message thread, typing in a won’t make it tonight, sorry before he switches off his phone.

“Mmm, garlicky,” he says the moment he reaches you, standing behind you as he watches you mix the sauce together.

You bring a spoonful up to your lips, tasting it. “Think it needs some salt, what about you?” You ask, offering him the small concoction in your saucer pan.

But Sae doesn’t take it, instead he leans forward and presses his lips against yours, his tongue savouring every single inch of you he can taste, his hand on your waist, pulling you close.

When he pulls away, you can’t help but stare at him blankly, in a daze because is this really happening? Sae can tell what’s going on in your head, but he throws you a bone by not teasing you about it.

“I think it’s perfect.”

By the next time you see Sumi in the office, she can sense the radiant glow from your face, hurriedly rushing over to your desk.

“Wow, I take it date night went well?”

You nod, not being able to contain your surprise. “Very well.”

Sumi asks for the details, and you divulge, since at this point, Sumi’s the one you trust the most. Even if she’s a little loud most of the time, you’re sure that you can call her a good friend.

“I’m so jealous, your marriage sounds like a dream,” she gushes while the two of you are having lunch.

You hesitate a little, the mention of it makes you think back to the Mirin issue. So far, you haven’t seen anything else that are any red flags, so at least that’s a step in the right direction… right?

“Uh oh, I know that look, tell me!”

So you give her the bare minimum, about how Sae had an ex-girlfriend who he seemingly can’t get over, about her calling him during the honeymoon and your little stalking spree. Sumi immediately does the same, typing in her phone before scrolling through her posts, unimpressed.

“She looks like she’s trouble,” Sumi remarks offhandedly, thumb pressing on the story that she apparently just uploaded five minutes ago and you completely freeze up. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

Her story seems completely innocent until you realise you can tell exactly where she is: in your own house, at your own kitchen, taking a picture where Sae’s hand is barely visible, no doubt in a bid to make it seem mysterious.

“She’s in my fucking house.”

taglist: @kimvmarvel @mxplesyrvp @yuzurins @futuristicxie @kiopanxp @k0z3me @y-sabell-a @sae1toshilover @xoxojisu @karmatiz @sagejin @minnieminnie00-got7 @hearts4heidi @shiinobu-x @n1uh @prepchuu @leeyzhuo @shidouryusm @tsukishiro-yue2402 @kaiserkisser @pookiebearcave @dcvilxswish @saeskiss @whtflrr @arminseas @raphsimp @saharei @danibxe @lectris00 @comet-kun @ishitam67 @gskill @sweet2wthsblog @astruoise @scaraslover @beaniedoodz @bersuadikotatua @idk-bro-gay @etoiile @sanzu-sanzu-sanzu @yourstrulyharu **bolded: means i can’t tag you guys because of your settings >_<

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

‘I had to make him do it… ‘

Is he? Is Stede fragile?

Ed’s still massively hurt and annoyed with Stede here. It’s prior to them ‘talking it through’. To me it indicates also that Ed is still on a journey away from the values of toxic masculinity towards a different kind of male behaviour exemplified by Stede. Ed still feels a man’s vulnerabilities are his death sentence - both Izzy’s threats, and Ed letting his emotional guard down with Stede proved that, he thinks.

Ed tried the ‘soft approach’ and it didn’t work out, so he’s still not quite ready to commit to that mindset again at the start of 204. He has his walls back up, which Stede will knock down mostly with unconditional love and emotional intelligence soon enough.

One thing I love is how Ed begins to change the way he interacts and flirts with Stede in season two, possibly without being fully conscious of it.

The first season, Ed resorts to traditional masculine behaviour with an obvious outcome and endgame. ‘Stab me’ - either Ed survives or he doesn’t, and he gets a covert cuddle out of it without appearing weak. Then we have Ed trying to engage Stede with the games of Jack: let’s chuck coconuts at each other’s heads, make marine animals fight. It’s all about who’s physically the strongest, wiliest or deadliest. Stede demonstrates time and again he is uncomfortable and turned off by this style of ‘play’. And he certainly fails to read it as flirting or bonding.

What’s lovely about season two is how Ed starts to mirror some of Stede’s softer behaviours. Consider the couch scene even - Ed is so open with his emotions, processing and moving through them quickly. It’s a lot to do with Stede’s awareness and empathy, but Ed has to be receptive for it to work. Compare to how closed off Ed is at the start of 107 when he can’t give a true explanation as to why he feels the need to move on, and remains confused and grumpy for much of the treasure hunt episode because he can’t process his emotions until Lucius intervenes.

Then we get the softer flirting which harks back to Stede’s season one behaviour: YWFTW.2, conversation, breakfast as love language and care, going on a date (Stede’s treasure hunt becomes Ed’s crab shack).

Plus the checking on Stede after Ned Low. There’s no ulterior motive; Ed is genuinely concerned about Stede and ignores Izzy’s advice that a man should process his trauma alone. Ironically, the care Ed shows, and the empathy he demonstrates in sharing again his own deep trauma in order to help shoulder the burden, triggers Stede’s feelings so strongly it may as well have been flirting.

Ed, whether consciously of not, realises a more healthy way to a heart is through words, understanding, and affinity (not through ones stomach or chest).

I don’t think Ed really believes Stede is fragile in a weak sense. If he reflected, Ed would hopefully mean the term to be synonymous with ‘soft’, ‘tender’, ‘kind’, ‘nonviolent’, even. After all, Stede much prefers the talk-it-through approach to fighting; that’s one of his superpowers, but he certainly has tenacity. Ed’s ‘Stede’s already got this’ during the torture scene shows the extent to which Ed recognises Stede’s way works, and the full trust he puts in him to save them.

Who is perhaps fragile or brittle are those exposed to performing traditional masculinity for prolonged periods. And if anything, it’s Ed who is made fragile by having to live the lie of it for twenty years, hiding his softness. Ed doesn’t need to be fixed though; he needs space to mend in his own way on his own terms.

[darcytaylor]

Let's talk about this dating experts thoughts on Nicola and Luke.

This was such an enjoyable watch, especially because much of what the dating expert mentioned aligns with what I’ve been saying. When watching Nicola and Luke in interviews, I never assumed they were together but always recognized the close bond they share.

I've received quite a few comments and asks from people who felt disappointed, believing the promo tour was misleading or that their interviews seemed insincere because they aren’t together, or because Luke might be in a relationship with someone else. But I stand by the belief that they have a genuine connection. Their close bond is understandable - working on intimate scenes together would naturally bring people closer. I don't think they blurred the lines; what we see is simply how people act when they feel comfortable and safe with each other.

I’ve also mentioned before that it wouldn’t be surprising if they were to become a couple. Just as the coach pointed out, the intimacy required for on-screen relationships can easily blur the lines between reality and acting. I’ve also noted in this blog that this is why workplace relationships and hookups are so common.

The dating expert accurately highlighted how their friendship and rapport, built over time, have created a strong sense of comfort and intimacy. This closeness is evident in their frequent touching and the ease of their conversations.

One thing I hope Luke takes away from this entire promo experience is the value of building a friendship before entering into a romantic relationship, rather than relying on a “love at first sight” scenario. Building a foundation of trust and understanding can lead to deeper emotional connections and long-term compatibility.

I love how the dating expert really captured who Nicola and Luke are as individuals (at least, in my opinion). Nicola is graceful, charming, and expressive, with a confidence and warmth that allows her to balance professionalism with genuine friendliness, contributing to her strong on and off-screen relationships. Luke, on the other hand, comes across as calm, grounded, and receptive - qualities that complement Nicola’s personality well. I’ve mentioned before that they clearly work well together as a team and as coworkers, which could also indicate compatibility in a relationship.

I hope he does a part two!

[nonnieapple]

Hi hello! Could I request some poly dating headcanons for Bryon and Lorson with a gn reader please?

⛈️⚡️Bryon x g/n!Reader x Lorsan Headcanons⚡️⛈️

• (Bryon x g/n!Reader x Lorsan Headcanons)

• r a t i n g: t e e n & u p • 1 4 2 0 w o r d s

• p o s t e d: 27.10.2024 🌧️ navigation

n o t e: comin' right up! i miss them so... but i heard lorsan will be playable soon.

Bryon & Lorsan 

• I headcanon Bryon as on the aroace spectrum. He doesn't feel romantic or sexual attraction very strongly.

• But he feels platonic love VERY strongly, he would kill for Elona.

• Getting into a relationship with Lorsan is easier (no offense) because he's more naive and eager. It would probably happen during your journey together, and he'd own up to it sooner or later because he can't keep his mouth shut, and his body language is very easy to read. 

• His ears began to droop around you (which meant that he was paying less attention to his surroundings- he was relaxed), and he would constantly fix his hair near you (when he thought you weren't looking. But you totally saw it). 

• He's not very subtle when speaking, either, I mean his flattery was tooth-rootingly sweet. 

• When confronted about it he denied it for a second but immediately switched up and admitted it when you fell silent. 

• He chose to go with you on your travels because he knows you yourself travel like a dandelion seed carried by the wind. 

• Bryon is, in many ways, the opposite of Lorsan. They are both skilled windwhisperers and wilders... and that's where the similarities end. 

• Bryon was cordial with you like he is with most, and you kinda fell for him upon first sight, because LOOK AT THAT MAN???

• You thought you had NO chance.

• It didn't help that, with that mask, he was hard to read. The more time you spent with him the more you could read the inflections of his voice, and that gave you a good indicator of what he felt.

• After he hid behind you when some lady tried flirting with him you realized that he isn't mysterious... he's just genuinely shy and reserved. That softened you to him and you felt less pathetic in his presence. 

• He wouldn't even realize he caught feelings until you're about to leave, and he's screaming on the inside, thinking how much he'll actually miss you now. 

• He's pretty committed to staying in the forest... dragging him out wouldn't be easy. He might visit from time to time and send you messages. Sometimes he sends so many of them you can't keep up. 

• But I don't think he could permanently leave the Dark Forest.

• Coordinating a poly relationship was not easy at first. 

• You had to explain the concept (they were only vaguely familiar with it) and it took a while to do so. 

• (Also, you had to get Elona's blessing first.)

• Lorsan kind of took it at face value and trusted you, while Bryon asked a TON of questions, which you indulged in, of course. The two balance each other well and answer for different needs of yours. Lorsan is more physical, close, and affectionate, while Bryon is wise, gives you space, independent. One comforts you physically and the other emotionally and intellectually. 

• You feel secure with both of them. Both have your back, and you have theirs.

• No one you know minds the arrangement. Lyca and Eironn are surprised you managed to make Bryon show vulnerability for once. 

• Lorsan is not surprised that you fell for Bryon and his mysterious ways. He says it's "typical". Ouch.

• Bryon is surprised that you like Lorsan, he says he's too chaotic compared to you and he has no idea how you manage him. You have no idea either. 

• Valen incessantly teases Lorsan, so when you see Valen Lorsan is ready to book it. 

• Bryon is so pretty... he gets hit on pretty often and always hides behind you like that'll help. Your usual tactic is to say that he's your boyfriend (true) BUT if they hit on Lorsan you have to choose between explaining your relationship or just letting Lorsan bask in attention (he doesn't always like it). 

• You're constantly aware of being noisy around them. You usually go do noisy things in other rooms or outside to not bother them. 

• They'll hear someone whistling in the distance and tell you how annoying it is when you hear quite literally nothing besides a breeze and their voices. Even if your hearing is good, theirs is on another level.

• You get to learn a lot about windwhisperers. You know more than the scholars in all of Esperia.

• Lorsan is more capable than he looks- if you get lost he's the one who leads the way or sets up shelter. At home, he's pretty productive around the house. 

• Bryon can go pretty long being silent. When you're together you can go almost a whole day without speaking... and then you talk for hours at night. 

• Very loyal. The type of person to do anything for you if you so much as bruise your leg- he's weak in that regard. 

• Bryon rarely takes off the mask. When you saw him without it for the first time, you freaked the hell out, because that thing had become a part of his face to you. Man, put your face back on!!!

• He's still gorgeous (obviously). He has cool yellow eyes and they're pretty imposing. You can't get used to him being without a mask. 

• Lorsan hasn't seen him without the mask since he was young. He only did because he walked in on Bryon and you sitting there. To Bryon, it would've been less shameful if he walked in on you bangi-

• Sometimes when Lorsan's happy he jumps up a little. 

• With his ears he's like a cat, one second he wants you to be all over him, and the next he's swatting your hand away. 

• When you're back home after being gone for a while, he'll circle you and chat away, not giving you a second to interrupt, probably bragging about something and telling you what he heard that day. 

• Lorsan will headbutt you for pets or just for a bit of attention. If you're focused on something he'll even nip you, which hurts. 

• He's kind of a brat... 

• HATES it when you poke his peets. Will leave if you try to do that. 

• Bryon barely touches you, and always asks before, except for when you wake up and find yourself pinned under his leg and arm, holding you like you're about to escape. 

• His ears are soft as silk. You try to keep your hands to yourself, but, come on, look at those things.

• Bryon doesn't get jealous much at all, and when he does he manages. Lorsan isn't that collected. 

• Lorsan steals your food. Constantly. 

• On the flip side, you don't see Bryon eat. 

• Communication goes well between you three. Until it doesn't if one of you gets into their own heads. All of you are very skilled and successful, and that can often lead to feelings of inferiority and insecurity. Rarely, but often enough for your friends to know how to respond already. 

• "They're at it again..." Valen will say, ready to talk you out of thinking you're worthless by screaming "YOU ARE *THE* MERLIN!" at you. 

• Works like a charm.

• Lorsan and Bryon get along.... ugh, it's bearable. Bryon is always subtly and not so subtly trolling Lorsan, who isn't as graceful with his words-

• Until he needs to apologize to you or anyone. He puts those hidden poet skills to use. 

        • If he's away, he might choose to send a letter instead. You keep all of them in a dedicated box, and you write down some of Bryon's messages. 

• Lyca is your sister-in-law now!!! Yippie!

• Each time she sees you she asks if Lorsan's been behaving well (NO, HE HAS NOT-)

• Bryon has to wear shoes when in Holistone and such, and he isn't a fan. "It's a dual leather prison," he once said, solemnly. 

• When Elona perches on you it's like being chosen by the gods themselves

• You've been adopted by Grannn Dahnie & Arden. You will get pestered and you better take it well OR ELSE.

• They tell you embarrassing things about your partners, with Lorsan getting flustered while Bryon is silently mortified. He says nothing and you can tell he's dying inside. Rest in peace.

• People in the Dark Forest start seeing you as a local since you visit so often. 

[molinaskies]

Sonic and the Mirror of Trauma: Scrapnik Island

Scrapnik Island is by far the most intriguing and impressive IDW Sonic miniseries so far. Daniel Barnes wrote an excellent story about recovering from trauma, struggling to escape your past, and facing the setbacks that come with both of those, and Nathalie Fourdraine and Jack Lawrence produced some beautiful art.

On its surface, the story has the potential to be a cheeky, cliché one-off akin to a spooky Halloween story (that started in December… hehe). But, when you look deeper at the plot and some of the tropes, and once you remember that it takes place between issue 56 (which I’ve crucially discussed at length) and issue 57, it suddenly becomes so much more important.

Mecha Sonic is a version of Sonic who has been forced to address the pain of his life and dabble with the consequences, and he represents the moment that Sonic has to face his own trauma—and that scares him.

Scrapnik Island sets off with the Scrapniks pursuing Sonic to help him, but Sonic, of course, has missed the memo. Mecha Sonic is hottest on Sonic’s trail, which stands out to me as not only is Sonic visibly afraid of Mecha (both from his sudden presence and from his memories of their last encounter), but he’s actively running away from his trauma, his past, his fear.

Even after Sonic’s been set straight on the Scrapniks’ deal, he’s still put off by Mecha Sonic’s silent demeanour and their history. So, Sonic treats him coldly, and this animosity triggers something deep within Mecha that he fights to starve off.

There is lots of visual storytelling to indicate that Sonic and Mecha Sonic are meant to be literary foils, but below is my favourite example. A flashback of a decommissioned Mecha Sonic fades into a present shot of Sonic “taking it easy,” but more so getting fed up with his situation.

Sonic is also particularly distrustful (and afraid) of Mecha Sonic, compared to the other Scrapniks. However, as time runs on, Sonic comes to an initial understanding of Mecha’s changed ways and wants to make peace. However, right after this, Mecha Knuckles attacks, Mecha Sonic defends and, in a way, sacrifices himself for Sonic, and things fall apart from here.

After Mecha Sonic is triggered during his battle with Mecca Knuckles (after a forceful encounter with Mecha Sonic’s past that sends him down a path of relapse), Mecha Sonic loses his ability to starve off Eggman’s primary programming. He turns on Sonic once again, but instead of serving Eggman, he strives to serve himself. While Mecha is falling victim to his traumatic past and coping mechanisms, the unfortunate thing about this is how it all reads to Sonic: another betrayal of his trust. It all calls back to Mr. Tinker, Metal Sonic, and Surge.

Mecha Sonic’s plan is to swap bodies with Sonic so that Mecha can use Sonic’s speed to escape the island, but the Scrapniks attack before the transfer can complete. This leaves Mecha and Sonic in an in-between state where they hear each other thoughts and feel each other’s feelings.

Even though Sonic states that the anger and sadness in his head is not his own, he’s still clearly shown to be feeling those feelings. They don’t originate from him, but their presence mingles with his own emotions to produce something darker and more irritated. Their presence also acts as a gateway of sorts, where the latent anger and sadness that Sonic can’t suppress makes it harder for him to put away his own feelings. Couple that with his physical pain from his sprained ankle (on the same leg he busted up a few issues prior), and soon, Sonic snaps for the first time in the entire IDW comic’s run.

I love whenever Sonic’s anger is allowed to shine because he is never enraged for petty reasons. Sonic has an attitude that often leads him to cranky comments, but Sonic is genuinely angry here because it hurts him to see someone speak so lowly of themselves, to have been hurt by the world so poorly. Mecha Sonic is also yet another person who has been created by Eggman’s terror specific to oppose Sonic. It’s another example of Surge’s “I will kill you or die trying” with the added complexity of Mecha’s attempt at redemption being corrupted by the trauma of Eggman’s influence. This puts pressure on Sonic because these impositions put Mecha, Surge, Kit, and others like them in direct opposition to Sonic for reasons entirely of no fault of his own—and that angers him. All Sonic strives to do with his life and his gift is help people, and to have so many people come out of the woodworks to say that the only thing he can do to help them is to kill himself is absolutely devastating to him. Not only because he believes in the direct opposite—that the only person who can give one purpose is oneself—but because it threatens to strip his own purpose away from him whenever these notions are unearthed.

Sonic isn’t angry at Mecha, personally. He’s angry at the system created to hurt them both.

The most important thing to remember is that, unless I fully missed something*, that strange mind-link thing between Sonic and Mecha Sonic is never undone. After Sonic cries Mecha Sonic’s tears, the story cuts to Tails officially deprogramming Mecha Sonic and Mecha Knuckles from Eggman’s directives, but it’s never explicitly stated that Mecha Sonic’s and Sonic’s mental link was reversed.

It can be reasonably assumed that it occurs off-screen (off-page? Outside of what is shown to the reader) because that would make general sense, but then again, so did the reprogramming, and that was explicitly mentioned. Further, it’s a general rule in writing for media that if you want something to be known about your story, it needs to be shown to the audience if not alluded to or directly referred to having happened. So, this is either an oversight, or it’s entirely intentional.

* The only way I can imagine this being accounted for is that the machine that linked Sonic and Mecha’s brains, the Egg Noggin, is (obviously) an Eggman device. Thus, whenever Tails removed Eggman’s programming from Mecha Sonic and Mecha Knuckles, perhaps it also restored Sonic’s brain to normal. This, however, feels like a bit of a stretch because we never see or hear of Sonic needing or receiving any treatment, but I am willing to consider it to be a viable reason. Either way, I think the point I’m about to make still stands as either a physical change or an emotional change in Sonic’s character.

This experience, this sharing of minds in such an intimate way where they can both so clearly hear each other’s hearts, taught them something. I read this as some sort of floodgates being opened, where while Mecha Sonic can more easily feel compassion and listen to the good in his core, Sonic now more clearly feels his anger and has a harder time suppressing his emotions. Whether there is lasting physical damage left in Sonic or he’s simply reeling from the depth of his emotions felt in this adventure, there’s been a clear impact.

Even if Sonic isn’t fully delving into things just yet, he’s taken a lesson away from all of this.

(From the IDW Endless Summer One-Shot, set between issue 64 and issue 65 and after the 900th adventure one-shot)

If nothing else, Sonic clearly understands trauma better now. Sonic is absolutely traumatized by his experiences with Eggman and other high-stakes adventures, but again, due to his tendency to push away his darker emotions, he hasn’t processed much of this. Sonic puts all his sadness and rage and fear and confusion into box after box after box before shoving everything onto a big, cluttered shelf, never to be seen again… until now. With such a clear look into the mind of someone actively reeling through trauma, a trauma so like his own, that shelf has collapsed, and now everything is spilling onto the floor before Sonic, quick as can be, can stop it.

Sonic is finally starting to understand the bigger picture, but I don’t think he’s fully on the path of self-awareness. I think there’s more boiling under the surface, more than even he realizes. And if Sonic keeps taking these micro-risks (instead of his usual Hail-Marys) that are fueled by his anger, like storming the Eggperial City too soon, then something will have to give.

Scrapnik Island is incredibly important to the IDW storyline because it showcases not only Sonic learning the depths of his pain and the pain of others but also yet another nail in Eggman’s coffin.

[suhnandmoon]

chapter twenty three: serious route

please read the chapter 23 nav before you read!!!

disclaimer: don't perceive this. i don't really like to make written chapters but i thought i'd pay tribute to my og queen (2021 starlight) and try to redeem her. i'd rather you read route 2

warnings: kidnapping, forced unconsciousness

you woke up in a daze. it was unlike the last time you woke up in a foreign setting– mark’s guest room at 3am was starting to sound a lot more pleasant than you remembered– but this time you were slumped over, seated on a tree stump in the middle of the forest. the sky was pitch black with only a small fire and a few flashlights illuminating the area.

across the bonfire, you saw three figures talking lowly. you were paralyzed, recognizing one of the people to be eric. 

mind racing, you tried to think of the best possible escape route but upon shifting slightly, the pressure on your ankles indicated that your feet were bound together with rope.

“how long is she out for?” one of the voices asked, causing you to freeze. feigning unconsciousness was probably the best way to keep attention off of you, though you weren’t sure if you could keep the act up due to your full body shaking in fear.

“how the hell would i know. i just found out last week that i could even make people fall asleep.” a slightly deeper voice replied.

“well, let’s just hope she doesn’t wake up. makes things easier for us in negotiation.” you recognized the last voice to be eric, though it wasn’t surprising to you that he brought you there.

“shit- i think she’s awake. i hear her heart rate getting faster.” the first vampire commented. your stomach dropped immediately.

“you can hear fucking heartbeats?” eric asked incredulously, earning a punch on the shoulder from the other vampire.

“we all can if you focus, idiot.”

as they began bickering, you prayed they somehow forgot about you. eyes still closed, you hadn’t realized you shut them tighter as the first boy approached you.

“yn?” he said softly, catching you off guard. there was no malice in his tone. it was a completely different attitude than what you were expecting, especially after the run-in with sunwoo.

you opened an eye slightly to see your captor. he looked to be about your age as well. though knowing he was a vampire, that didn’t do much to help you. his friendly smile and round glasses caused him to look more unassuming than you thought he would, but you kept your guard up.

he let out a genuine chuckle at your attempt to crack your eye open without making it obvious you were awake.

“i know you’re awake.” he took a step closer, instinctively causing you to lean back, though you noticed he kept a respectful distance, “i’m sorry about all this. i’m changmin.”

“i know this looks bad but i promise we’re not gonna hurt you, we just need to,,” changmin paused to chose his words carefully. “use you as leverage for lack of a better explanation.”

you battled with the instinct lingering in your mind to trust him, “why kidnap me again? sunwoo already tried and it didn’t work.”

“because sunwoo’s a dumbass who hasn’t practiced self restraint a single day in his life-” the boy previously bickering with eric yelled from behind changmin.

“juyeon, shut the hell up, would you?” changmin tossed his complaint over his shoulder before turning back to you, “we’re doing what sunwoo should have done. he shouldn’t have taken it as far as he did. but as of right, we believe this is the only way for us to negotiate.”

“you’re a vampire now so i would hope you understand where we’re coming from,” eric’s tone was not as friendly as changmin, yet still sincere, “this deal we have with them- it’s a restriction that doesn’t do us any favor. we’re just trying to get them to let up on how much blood we can take from humans each month. its ridiculous.”

“this animal shit- it’s so fucking stupid. we’re vampires. they can take their moral high ground, but they can’t deny what we actually need.” juyeon added on.

“isn’t the agreement in place mainly so we don’t get found out?” you wish your voice came out stronger than it actually sounded, the slight shake in your voice giving you away.

“so? who cares. anyone who finds us out won’t know for much longer.” eric shrugged casually, sending a chill down your spine. for a moment, hearing them converse and bicker gave them a sense of humanity though they were your captors, but eric’s indifference toward the weight of a human life reminded you just how different you truly were. 

“anyways. yn, your friends are going to be showing up soon,” changmin changed the subject and redirected his focus back on you, “we might make threats toward you, just know we’re not actually going to hurt you. we just need to scare them. no promises about not harming the guys though.”

“now why would you tell her that? she’s gonna tell them she’s okay.” eric retaliated. 

if the adrenaline in your system wasn’t so high, you would’ve found the nerve to actually be annoyed at their constant back and forth. but you didn’t have that much time to think about it before juyeon was muttering some insult at eric and walking over to you.

with one wave over your head, you were back out of it, slumping back down.

_______

it wasn’t long after your short moment of consciousness that the boys had found the location sent to them by juyeon. jeno was the only one to have stayed behind, keeping an eye out for chaeryoung as a precaution.

when they arrived to the scene, they were met with the looming figures of eric, changmin, and juyeon standing over the bonfire. eric held your slumped body close, making it clear that they had the advantage

seeing you like this for the second time caused renjun to step out, calling your name. mark had to reach out his arm to stop him from escalating anything too quickly, as eric made a show of tightening his hold upon renjun’s approach. this was sick.

they slowly approached them, closing the distance so they could talk.

“you brought us here to make compromises.” mark called out, keeping his tone neutral. “where’s your leader then?”

juyeon scoffed, glaring at the six. “this isn’t a compromise. we want this whole thing dropped.” he corrected.

“sangyeon’s the only one of you who can make that call.” the edge on mark’s voice was intimidating, but it didn’t phase the opposing team.

“i think you’re forgetting who we have here.” eric spoke up to defend his friend with a laugh, but it only caused donghyuck to scoff at the act.

“i think you’re forgetting you’re outnumbered, dumbass.” donghyuck mocked, causing eric to step forward in retaliation, briefly forgetting about his grasp on you. 

renjun and jisung quickly took that opportunity catch him off guard. with his grip on you loosened, renjun pulled you away while jisung distracted eric. this action erupted a fight out of the rest of the boys; mark, hyuck, and jaemin moving to keep juyeon and changmin away from you.

it was less of a fight, more of a tussle, when renjun extracted you from the scene. it luckily couldn’t escalate into anything serious when a deep shout could be heard several feet away from the area.

the sound of the voice immediately sent the three boys into a halt, as if they had just been commanded to freeze.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing?” the words grew distinguishable as the owner of the voice emerged from the trees. it was none other than lee sangyeon himself, as mark was smart enough to shoot him the location his own boys had sent them.

eric, juyeon, and changmin all looked at each other, expecting someone to speak up. their previously serious demeanor had a complete 180. they all looked like children caught red-handed.

“helping you?” juyeon was the first to break their silence, “sangyeon, you’ve been working yourself to death these last few months. the least we could do was resolve this issue for you.”

the firm look in sangyeon’s eyes almost dissipated at the sentiment, but he stood his ground with crossed arms.

“and how exactly would kidnapping their friend resolve any kinds of issues with them?” he almost laughed at the stupidity of it all.

“we were never gonna hurt her! we just needed to negotiate-” changmin defended their plan, earning a gasp from jaemin, “anyways, we wanted to alleviate your stress with the negotiation so taking care of it ourselves was our best option” 

their leader sighed. his lips parted, attempting to string together what he wanted to say before finally speaking up, “that's not why i’ve been busy.”

“its not? why do you get so touchy everytime its brought up?” eric pushed back.

“we’re moving. i’ve been trying to find a city without a large vampire presence so we don’t butt heads like this.” he referenced the silent group of boys just observing the dispute; unnecessarily pulled into this shit. “that’s why i’ve been stressed. no other reason.”

he turned to all of you. “i’m sorry about them. you can have my word this time that this will never happen again. i should’ve kept them in the loop.”

sangyeon nodded and guided the boys out of the forest, leaving the rest of you slightly baffled and annoyed in his wake, though you, of course, were still yet to wake up.

“well that was pointless.” chenle barked out a frustrated laugh, almost amused at how unnecessary that all was.

“and they never even apologized.” hyuck rolled his eyes, beginning their own trek out of the forest. “here in the middle of nowhere for nothing. fucking idiots.”

“at least yn’s safe.” mark tried to sympathize to avoid escalating their emotions, “let’s just get the hell out of here.

“don’t have to tell me twice,” hyuck called out, already a few feet ahead of everyone else.

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#25: A Few More Days (S7E12)

Say Yes is just rich with Richonne goodness at every turn, beginning early with the opening moments of the ep as well as in their final moments in the ep, which are tied here on my list. Both scenes highlight how much Rick and Michonne value the days they have with each other. And to kick off this love letter episode, I love that we get a moment of Rick and Michonne proving yet again that them + vehicles = gold...

So after a perfect and steamy montage establishing they’ve been having the time of their lives on this run and a sweet conversation about why they’re smiling, we see them in the van eating saviors' pretzels. And I’ve always loved the inclusion of pretzels in this scene for the symbolism in contrast to Dwight and Sherry. It’s a subtle way to indicate that Rick and Michonne are the couple who are going to stay together through thick and thin. 

I like Michonne saying they have "good taste in pretzels" like it’s the singular good quality about the Saviors lol. And then I love Rick saying "and batteries" as one of the first ways slick Rick will indicate he wants to stay out longer. And I get his logic - with the walkie working they can stay aware of what’s going on back home while still enjoying this wonderful honeymoon. I was fully on board with Rick’s thinking lol.

Watching it back, I love the ever-so-subtle groan Rick gives when Michonne says they’re gonna need to get back. He is not ready to leave this blissful state he’s in with her and I’m beyond here for it.

Also, I swear if watching all these Richonne scenes back was a try-not-to-smile challenge I would lose horrendously. I can’t not smile. It’s just all so precious every time they’re together, and this is genuinely me during the entirety of their every scene lol...

And then I just adore the way Michonne notices Rick’s quiet reaction and says his name. She knows her husband, y’all. She knows his silence means he doesn’t want to go home yet.

Rick says “a day and a half more, today and tomorrow.” And truly so much of what I love about this scene and Say Yes in general is that it’s one of the very rare moments where Rick gets to voice something he really wants personally. This isn’t about wanting to keep finding guns. He’s having the time of his life with the love of his life, and he wants to enjoy this as long as he can. 

Michonne says they can come back again because, trust, she wants this alone time with Rick too, she just wants to eliminate the Negan threat so their next trip doesn’t have that cloud over it.

I love the way Rick says “just a little more” and looks over at her with his subtle eyebrow raised. He’s the most refreshed he’s looked all season and so happy and in love, and it’s great to see. 

Michonne reassuringly says, “We’re okay. We don’t have to find them right now,” and I like how this is where Rick just outright confirms that extending this run is not about finding guns. It’s about what he will later reveal to be what he wants most - “the two of us” - cuz then he lightheartedly responds “yeah I know” lol.

(Side note: I'm just thinking about how before this love letter 7.12 ep there was the iconic 3.12 Clear ep. And 3.12 also began with the two in the car - however back then Michonne was driving in silence and Rick was thinking they’ll part ways after the Governor fight. How far we’ve come with them that now in 7.12 Rick and Michonne are in this car fully in love on a honeymoon run and wanting all the time in the world with each other. 🥰🙌🏾)

Rick says, “Just a little more okay?” while just eating some pretzels all content. And the delivery of the 'okay?' at the end is so freaking cute.  😋 Andy is so good at playing all shades of Rick, especially a Rick in love. 

And then there’s this little silent moment where Rick looks down and then looks over at her with a look that says he knows Michonne wants this time too and that they want to be out here for more than just business reasons.

I love that Rick is always so good at making sure he gives the two of them time together to just put plans and agendas aside and enjoy being with each other. This is different than s1 Rick who was always on the go. He knows how valuable what he has with Michonne is and he cherishes every moment he has with her. Man of the year every year, ijs.

And then Danai “Always Perfectly Delivers The Line, Even If It's Just One Word” Gurira says "okay" in a way that just communicates so much. The way Michonne looks at him with so much care in this moment before softly saying okay. She knows that while Rick is seeming casual rn, this is also something he really wants and even needs more than he’s letting on, which he’ll reveal when he shares how much has been weighing on him later in the ep. And I think in this moment she knows she really needs this time with the love of her life too. 

Also it���s sweet how all Rick had to say was just “a little more, okay?” and Michonne was in full agreement. They both can so effortlessly get the other on board with them. 😋 So she says this heartfelt okay and then Rick is just in his glowy happy era responding with such a pleased “okay” while looking at her so clearly in love.

The way they look at each other and smile with a little laugh upon agreeing to keep this honeymoon going is just perfection. 😍 I love that they both know they are going to stay out here not just as leaders and fighters but as lovers too, as they happily agree to bask in their Richonne bubble a bit longer.

This joy and alone time is what they deserve, and I love how this scene sets the tone for the rest of their honeymoon ep. It let you know that Rick and Michonne's love and desire for each other was going to be central, and I'm forever here for it.

And then I gotta attach another “few more days” moment at the end of the ep to this ranking because it really does connect. 👌🏽

It’s at the end of Say Yes when Michonne approaches Rick after his irritating encounter with Jadis. Rick and Michonne both really do look so visibly rejuvenated from their honeymoon run. I was looking at both of them in this scene like...

And I love that seeing her man is upset, Michonne knows just how to uplift him.

The scene starts with Rick clearly frustrated after Jadis changed the deal and tried to demand the cat sculpture back. When that trash lady told Rick she wanted the cat back I was like...

Because see Rick is in the business of gifting Michonne, so Jadis and the junkyard had another thing coming if they thought he was giving his wife's cat sculpture back lol. He even retools the deal to let Jadis know she tried it, and then he has this lone moment looking annoyed just before Michonne approaches. And just the way she looks at him when she slowly enters the scene is already so sweet. 🥹

I love how she says, "You get a few more days before what happens next." Which as we know from their previous heart-to-heart means before the fight. 

Let me tell you, this is a husband and wife. Like officially-married-after-that-7.12-proposal husband and wife. You just feel the spouse vibes radiating off them in this scene, and I’m here for it. 

I love that when Michonne lovingly says this, it’s her knowing how much a 'few more days' is something Rick really wanted/still wants and something she now deeply understands the value of too. And sis always be knowing the perfect thing to say cuz Rick's mood is instantly boosted as he turns to face her, elated at the idea of a few more days spent like how they just spent it. 😊

And part of what was so special about Rick wanting to extend their trip throughout this ep is that it was truly just the two of them on that honeymoon run - it wasn't like real-world honeymoons where you're at least around other hotel guests or beachgoers or whatever - but Rick was like, 'even when you’re the literal only person I’m around for days, I still want more of that.' #DirectQuoteFromHisMind 🥰

It’s cute how Rick perks up as he asks, “A few more days?” I love how Michonne can always improve his mood and capture his full attention. I also love how close they’re standing to each other in this scene and the lighting — you know we love a well-lit Richonne scene. It’s great. 👏🏽

And that Richonne bubble has a strong magnetic field because it seems they just can’t help but be as close as possible when talking to each other here. Truly, at this moment, they feel like it's just the two of them around - but nope, they out here giving big 😍-energy publicly on some strangers' turf. I love it. 🙌🏾

Michonne has such a beautiful glow when she calmly and confidently assures Rick, “that’s right, we’ll find more, we’ll figure it out soon…in a few more days.” 🗣 She's a wife. And scenes like this show that loud and clear.

Also, what Rick and Michonne mean to each other is always so gorgeously depicted, even in just a look. my goodness. #blessed.

As a moot beautifully stated, Rick drinks her in whenever she's in front of him, and he does so here as he nods and takes her hand. I love that she can so instantly improve his mood and how we just watched them spend all this alone time together all episode, only for them to end the ep excited about the prospect of more time together.

And then the scene ends with them walking away hand in hand because one thing Richonne always finna do is hold hands, and I'm here for it. 🤗

This was a beautiful way to open and close the Richonne love letter ep. And so these two connected moments - starting with Rick wanting a few more days and ending with the two of them also really grateful for a few more days - were wonderful and had to get some recognition on this list. 😌

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

What does Zuko do for Mai? She clearly puts a lot of effort into the relationship but he doesn't.

He had a lot of growing up to do before he could be in a relationship with ANY girl. Mai came through for him but he never did for her. It makes sense that he originally didn't have a love interest.

...You come into MY HOUSE to talk shit about MY BOY? And about MY SHIP? Anon, grab a sword, we're gonna fight!

Okay now, jokes aside, while Zuko has some maturing to do, so does Mai. And they'd still make mistakes even if their family lives hadn't deeply traumatized them because they're teenagers. Lots of the mistakes they've made (jealousy, poor communication, one accidentally being too aloof, etc) are stuff perfectly healthy and mature adults still make because surprise surprise, figuring out how to make things work with someone is hard, and considering their traumas and the situation they were in, they could have done A LOT worse.

Nothing either of them has done crosses the line into "Behavior that indicates this person should not be in a romantic relationship with ANYONE, at least for now." It's typical relationship stuff that either results on a permanent break-up or a temporary falling out that pushes both to get their shit together and be better for each other.

Not to mention, the root of all of Zuko's issues was the fact that he was abuse victim who was struggling to cope with his abuser being not only his own father but the absolute monarch of their nation. He got used to not being able to trust that someone's affection for him was genuine, to fear that it could suddenly be stolen away.

That he couldn't rely on anyone else because THE person that was supposed to take care of him betrayed him in such a cruel way and got away with it. That feeling entitled to things and then using whatever means to obtain it was the ONLY way to not be neglected, ignored and taken advantage of.

His abuser is gone now, but no matter how much therapy (or at least the ATLA equivalent of it) he gets, Zuko will only learn how to have healthy relationship through practical means because it's REALLY easy to be a good partner in THEORY, but things always get messy when you're dealing with the real thing.

Reality is very different from hypothetical scenarios in which you're dealing with the idea of a partner that never misunderstands you, never says things in a way that didn't realize weren't clear enough for you, never loses their temper, never takes things to heart, never fucks up, never needs a bit of space when you fuck up, never is as in the dark as you are about how to handle an unexpected issue, never gets too needy, never gets too distant - never acts like a human being.

Zuko still makes mistakes when it comes to his uncle and his friends, but no one says "That means Zuko should not have a father figure nor friends" because we saw that being alone Gives Him Very Bad Ideas. Why should romance be any different? A relative or a friend can hurt you just as much as a romantic partner can, and be just as hurt by stuff you do. It makes no sense to act like a flawed person is allowed to want a family and friends, but not a committed relationship.

As to what Mai gets out of this:

1 - Zuko loves her for who she is and canonically likes it when she expresses herself, even when what she is expressing is "Zuko, I'm done with your bullshit". For someone who has been neglected and taught over and over that her opinions don't matter, that means a lot.

2 - When Zuko changed sides, he didn't try to guilt her into leaving with him, and didn't hold it against her when it looked like she was gonna remain loyal to Azula. Compare that to her parents not giving a shit that she didn't want to move to Omashu, or to her knowing there was a possibility of her getting killed by Azula if she displeased her, and tell me in which relationship Mai feels she has the most agency.

Zuko is not a perfect boyfriend, but the simple fact that Mai isn't even slightly afraid to talk back to him when he goes too far speaks volumes on who she feels safer with and trusts to never try to coerce her into staying if she ever decides to leave.

3 - Mai and Zuko enjoy each other's company, are attracted to each other and he is as openly affectionate with her as she is with him. Even the sea-shell she didn't like and the ice-cream he accidentally dropped on her lap were just him trying to spoil her a bit - and he managed to do it in a way she'd appreciate in Nightmares and Daydreams.

He can be a jerk sometimes due to his anger issues (something he canonically was working on and wanted to move past), but he could also be a genuinely caring boyfriend.

4 - Zuko was also neglected and made to feel worthless for most of his life. They can relate to each other.

5 - Three years into his banishment, after no seeing her for a long time and unsure if he'd ever even hear from her again, he still thought of how Azula pulled a prank on them because of Mai's crush on him.

He constantly sought her out for comfort when he was back in the Fire Nation, even when she didn't really know how to handle that yet. Out of all the things he had left behind when he joined the Gaang, she was the one he openly said he'd miss. He was overjoyed when they were reunited in the finale.

Even his not at all healthy levels of jealousy are extra proof that he isn't just putting up with her like her family, he cares about her and actively WANTS her in his life, to the point of being scared that someone could "steal" her from him - and again, Mai feels more than comfortable enough to call him out when he goes too far, so it never crosses the line into "He means well, so lets excuse the bad behavior."

Mai feels wanted, safe and understood. Girl could do a lot worse.

[secretress]

Who is your future best friend? + Animal representation

YouTube | Masterlist

Tips | Paid Readings

Not a tarot card reading, only based on my intuition.

Credit

Pile 1:

Golden retriever

This person embodies a golden retriever. They are a cheerful type of person, expect them to always be smiling. Not this type, “fake smiles.” This is sincere. I don’t see anything about them having a potential crush on you either, and they may be apart of the LGBQT+ community. They are harsh with people who are racist, against the community, prejudice, etc. You should expect them to fight for their rights, and I’m seeing “modern family” pop up in my head, so spirits tells me, this is their favorite show. They favor Mitchell, Jay and Phil..? (I have only seen one episode, but anyways these are their favorite).

Moving on, one thing I recommend to watch out for, is, they sometimes can be aggressive with you if you don’t agree with their decisions because they’re stubborn. Not aggressive as in hurting you, it’s.. passive aggressive. Sometimes snarky comments when agitated or mad. They will always feel calm when they hear a favorite song, have their favorite dessert or something small they enjoy. It is the little things that count for this person.

As for you, I don’t see much aggression when speaking to you, so it would seem that you calm this person down. I am getting that you are this person’s favorite. I am seeing them smiling a lot when you answer the text or when you initiate a call with them. Think of it like when your favorite ship sails, and you have this giggly or giddy type of feeling. I also see them being genuinely happy for you when you have an accomplishment done. There is just something so beautiful about this person. You can think of them as a shining star. You see stars at night when you need them the most, that is what the person will be for you.

This person will make you truly happy. They are like a happy pill. I hear that some of you are dealing with depression and anxiety. Sometimes you question whether or not you will find a friend who won’t treat you as something that you’re not. This person will treat you like you’re an angel. This person is going to light up your world so badly that when you think about this person and what they have done for you, you may cry about it. You’re definitely going to be very grateful for them and this will amplify so much beauty into your world.

Pile 2:

A raven

Your future, best friend shares many characteristics of a raven. Not only are they the silent and calm type, They are also a strong type. I am seeing a beautiful adult raven flying in a slight clouded sky, its wings fluttering out and it’s not alone. There is a crow with them. The crow is the indication of you. I am sensing that you both will be together always. Do you know how birds flock together to migrate? That is what you and your future friend will be like.

You both will be each other’s companion, hardship and all. This person is very loyal to their friendships. I feel as they are more loyal to friendships than relationships. I am honestly picking up that they put their friendship over the relationships. Honestly, I don’t think that’s a good mentality, but my intuition says they have a good reason for it. “I have been hurt so many times for being a hopeless romantic, I tried to hard and never go there same energy. Please don’t define me as a player, I swear to you I am not, I just.. I just have friends who cherished me so much during it that now.. I’m beyond scared to be in a relationship and will always put my friendship first.”

My intuition tells me that they have struggled a lot mentally and physically and with this circumstance, they sort of developed having a raven as their protected animal spirit. Spirit tells me if you see a raven constantly then it is the sign for you that they are coming. I’m getting a cheerful feeling thinking about them, so there isn’t much to say. However, as mentioned, they do struggle with trust so please be gentle with your companion and show love and gratitude to them as they truly deserve it.

Pile 3:

Sloth

If you have seen the anime “komi can’t communicate” think of Kaede Otori. In a way, they have slight similarities. I would say this person does communicate slow, as in they are the type to listen then communicate. They think about it and when they do speak, it usually means much more. I believe the way they emphasize it, is what does it. Anyways, you will enjoy the conversations you have because they’re truthful and cannot lie well. You can pick it up hence a bad liar. A lot of deep conversations.

You will know who they are when you meet. Your intuition will go chaotic about it. Even if you don’t follow your intuition, you will know. I am seeing this scenery where it’s a bar, slightly darken, but the light bulbs are only noticeable on your future best friend. They’re talking to someone but that person is darken out within the booth. This is what I’m getting at, you will just know. “Who talks to someone they don’t know off with a deep conversation and pulls it off?”

I cannot read much on this person, they’re a mystery. My mind is blank, completely blank. So I’d say they may also be perceptive of their surrounding and intelligent as well. I believe people always assume they have no intelligence, nothing around that sort because they way they communicate is one you don’t dare to find in this generation. Similar to a warrior princess. You also may blush when you first meet them. They have a soft tone and intellect like no other.

Now why sloth? My intuition tells me the reason for this is, “though sloths are known to be lazy and slow, that merely isn’t true. Think of the story with the hare and turtle. The turtle wins at the end, yes? The turtle is slow, I agree, but in this world patience is your best friend. This person is beyond patience and grateful thus creating a beautiful world for them. Your future best friend will teach you how to be patience and control your anger issues. Do you honestly think you can push this person away and get mad? No. They have seen this—this person is the reason why in the future, you learn to be better, to trust and know that someone gives a damn about you without you questioning it like always.”

[earthshine-moon]

Why I love AMC’s Lt Graham Gore: an essay

Full essay under the cut but here’s the intro to (hopefully) get you interested

In my humble (and completely non-obsessed 😉) opinion, AMC’s Lieutenant Graham Gore is one of the best cold boys. He is not only kind and considerate, but well-respected and liked among the other men (especially Goodsir and while that is reason enough, I wrote this anyway bc why not?). In this essay, I will exhibit why Lt Gore deserves all the love and appreciation that is possible to receive from a single fandom.

A list of special mentions are at the end of this post as well if you’re interested 💙

This is long so buckle up and hold on to your Welsh wigs, we’re going for a ride.

The first scene where we witness Gore’s personality is the boat hauling scene in episode 2. When the scene begins, it’s clear that Mr Goodsir has been talking for a little while and at first, it seems as though none of the party are really listening to him until he speaks directly to Gore. As soon as Goodsir says his name, the Lieutenant looks up at him and responds immediately despite how much effort and concentration he is clearly putting in to hauling the boat. Gore’s instant and genuine reply of “I do not, Mr Goodsir” implies that he has been listening (maybe not intently, he’s not superhuman) and knows exactly who Goodsir is talking about. On top of that, the tone of his answer gives the impression that he wasn’t giving it for the purpose of not having to converse further with Goodsir, but rather that he honestly couldn’t remember the Inuk man’s name, which shows his kindness.

Just a few seconds later in that scene, Gore stops the men as soon as Goodsir offers to take over from one of them in hauling the boat. This second immediate action indicates that he doesn’t mind taking the time to swap Hartnell with Goodsir and instruct him on how to pull the weight. (He could just be thankful for the excuse to take a little break and I love that too, so I’m cool with it being a bit of both). The fact that he has no problem with taking this time just adds to the kindness that we have already seen from him.

This leads me onto his instructions to Goodsir. He explains the technique clearly and calmly, which shows exactly how considerate and attentive he is because he gives Goodsir all the advice he needs to keep in step with the others (“watch Morfin here in front, and me with the corner of your eye”). Gore’s tone is warm and friendly throughout with a touch of reassurance seeping in as he says “you’ll take to it, I know you will”, which conveys his trust and belief in Goodsir’s ability to haul. While he’s talking, Gore’s whole body is turned towards Goodsir and he gives him a couple of little shoulder pats. (Tartnell and Peglar also give him a shoulder pat each but that’s different. I mention that again later).

(Just a little side note that has nothing to do with this but there’s a little detail in one of his lines in this scene that I love. He tells Hartnell to let Goodsir “spell [him]”. We don’t use this phrase in the UK and as far as I can tell, it’s North American. I just think it’s a lovely nod to the fact that he comes from a line of Naval officers (one of which might have picked up the phrase). Anyway, back to me rambling about how wonderful this guy is).

And now, my current favourite thing to talk about and watch: the cairn scene. Gore’s second line in this scene (“does this place make you uneasy, doctor?”) is said almost like a joke but he doesn’t walk away like you’d expect him to if it was meant in that way. Instead, he stays where he is and turns towards Goodsir as if he is waiting for an answer. At first I thought he might have stayed to hand Goodsir his ice pick (or whatever it’s called. I can’t find them anywhere) but it looks like he doesn’t go to pass it to him until he actually does. And, in case you need any more evidence, if you look closely when it cuts to the wider shot, the end of the handle is visible by the side of his leg and there’s a 2 second long pause before Goodsir speaks where he could have tried to hand the ice pick over or at least lifted it up, but he didn’t.

Gore’s response to Goodsir explaining why he shouldn’t call him Doctor is to say “that’s a doctor in my book” which signifies that he respects the work Goodsir has put in to his career so much more than most other characters (minus Dr. McDonald, of course). This response clearly shows he doesn’t believe that Goodsir is any less worthy of the title just because he hasn’t got the same training as the other ships’ doctors. Just to add to that, by giving him the title of doctor, it raises Goodsir to a higher level; one, in the eyes of other people, more deserving of respect than his actual station.

Sticking with the cairn scene (last one, I promise), Gore says “thank you” twice; one to Goodsir and the other to Des Voeux. Both are said in response to very small gestures but actually sound so genuine like they had done something more significant for him than taking his ice pick or handing him the folder-type thing (if anyone knows what this is, please let me know). As far as I can remember, there aren’t many thank yous thrown around in the show, especially not any as genuine as these.

I’ve been watching his 7 minutes of screen time so much recently and on about the 10th time, I noticed that he’s quite gentle when he touches other people. He gives friendly little pats on the shoulder or arm to Goodsir three times and to Des Voeux and Morfin once each but none of them are the sharp, quick ones you see from other characters (like Tartnell and Peglar earlier in ep2). I saw someone say on here that a lot of the cold boys subvert the stereotypes of traditional masculinity and I think this is a subtle but really sweet example of that.

And finally, on to how respected and liked he is. We only ever hear Sir John call him Graham, which is interesting because in Victorian England, Christian names weren’t something to be used lightly as they symbolised close friendship or intimacy. Crozier saying “amongst everything else, I know you mourn a friend” to Sir John after Gore’s death reinforces that. All of this is then furthered by how much Sir John clearly grieves Gore’s death along with the implied grieving of the other Erebus officers. It’s such a credit to his character to see (however brief) the pain and loss his death created among the men.

Sorry to end this on a sad note but here have a cookie 🍪 for making it to the end

And now for some special mentions (including some things about the real Lt Gore)

• the little pompom on his hat

• him helping Morfin up onto the ice ridge

• him shouting with the other men when they find the shore

• “I pray it’s English tea merchants coming from Kenton that look upon that message next”

• asking Goodsir if he’s seen something when he sees he’s looking away from the cairn (idk I just think it’s kinda sweet)

• his smile (that’s it)

And for the real Lt Gore:

• he was an accomplished artist

• Fitzjames described him as having “the sweetest of tempers”

• a gun exploded in his hand when he was shooting cockatoos in Australia for food. Ended up laid flat and all he could do was quietly say “killed the bird” (his hand was fine btw. Only a small injury)

• He was promoted to Captain in absentia by the Admiralty (before the official proclamation of the deaths of Franklin’s men)