#they believe that the fight is not over. that as long as theres hope someone will continue to believe in freedom
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byfulcrums · 1 year ago
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"You think you can take whatever you want. Things you didn’t make, didn’t earn, things you don’t understand." The story of an indigenous boy fighting against a colonizer to get his home back. A teenager telling the man who is destroying his world that because it is so much more complex and important than what he sees, he will never get to have it.
Ezra's story is about connection, with all living beings: loth cats and wolves, purrgils, people, etc. And it ends with nature reclaiming what has always been its from the machine that is the Empire. It ends with the people getting their home back from the people who occupied it
And here's the thing: Ezra doesn't know a galaxy without the influence of the Empire. The history of the Old Republic, the tales of the Jedi, they're all fairytales to him. Yet he still fights for it; he fights for something he hasn't yet seen, fights for what's right, for his people and his family. He fights for freedom even if he doesn't know what it feels like
And it's this determination, this endless hope, that drives others to do the same as him. He, with only his words, is able to make things different. It challenges the whole "I'm just one person, I won't change anything" belief. Because Ezra is just one person, and one person can't do much on their own; the war is lost if it's only you fighting it
But Ezra frees Lothal. Ezra banishes Thrawn. Ezra inspires others to fight back. Ezra's sacrifice was not meaningless, and it will always be remembered. He will always be remembered
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thecartoonrambler · 11 months ago
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Why Wander is such an important character
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Very long post below!
Ill be rambling about Wander over Yonder, specifically, WANDER!!
The show in itself is already amazing, the episodes are short and fun, each character is oozing with personality and fun interactions and there are always ways in which it is all connected. Further on the animation of the show and overall look is absolutely adorable!
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For me personally, Wander is simply such an important character and not for few reasons.
I love that Wander's silly happy go lucky personality is so addictive. He's a happy person, who gets happy by helping others in need, even to points where he gets himself in trouble (every episode LOL) But regardless i think they are such an important character traits to have (Happiness, altruism, Optimism).
In today's depressing and violent world, where everyone just fights with each other, a character like Wander can be a sense of hope or inspiration!
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Of course, many main characters have these traits as well, but i think a key difference between Wander and many other optimist protagonists lies in their EXPERIENCE IN LIFE!
These other protags are innocent, naive optimists, because they haven't experienced "the real world" yet. And while it makes sense to have characters like these (as an allegory to growing up), they get really tiring and repetitive really quickly. They also commonly showcase optimism and naivety to go hand in hand. And its why a lot if people commonly believe that "realsim" is inherently "pessimistic" (it isn't btw. Theres good and bad in life, denying theres good, is denying reality)
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Its extremely refreshing to have a main character like Wander, actually be hinted at being millennias old, repeatedly converting villains to good throughout the eons, out of a sense of duty (and perhaps also Pacifist revenge for his childhood, where its hinted that his entire planet was destroyed and he was the only survivor.)
not only is this also something that one learns, the more one watches (keeping the viewer intrigued) but the fact that so much about Wander's life and past is a mystery is what makes him a fascinating character. At first glance hes just some helpful guy, and the more you learn about him, the more you more you think "who is this guy?" Not in a negative way, but in a complete curiosity. Is it possible he's as old as the universe himself? If so does he know it? Who is he? What actually happened in his past? How did he live before his hat? Was there a time he wasn't as helpful? What caused him to change? Who is he? But at the same time, the viewer doesn't NEED to know. Theres no stress to, no hurry to uncover a mystery. Its like "mystery but it's actually completely low-key". I like that. (Im the kind to get into conspiracy theories or get crazy over plot holes, so the show managing this is insane)
Traits like these, especially in contrast to their personality being so so happy, child-like, goofy, charitable, it makes for an extremely interesting and fascinating character, that one doesn't commonly see in media! Which is really awesome! Someone that's seen so much horrors, lived through civil wars, yet tries to help a skeleton get together with a butch lesbian??
Its awesome!
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Other that just that alone, he's helped me out personally! He in many ways reminds me of myself as a kid, i too was altruistic, always trying to help, struggled to say no, was positive and happy go-lucky and adventurous (well, as all kids i suppose), recently rediscovering the show made me realise how much i missed those personality traits in myself. That i had hidden them away, due to people making fun of me of being "too naive" and "too childish". Eventually Making me not talk to people really, and develop really bad self esteem. Rediscovering this show, and specifically how these "childish" traits can be seen in a very positive charming light, helped me realise that being scared of "coming off wierd", "coming off as toxic positivity" will always be worse than not being positive.... At all.
Ive heard from other people too that this show has helped them through tough times, and allowed them to reconnect with more positive thought patterns. Which is why i think characters like Wander are insanely important for media!!
Too much is too depressing all the time! We can create media (ESPECIALLY ADULT MEDIA) that isnt depressed. Positivity and happiness are not a crime! And im so glad a character like Wander exists to exhibit that!
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superiorsturgeon · 2 years ago
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Rookie-Angel!Pyrrha: wow. Theres so much to being a guardian angel.
Angel: yup. Dont worry, you have the heart and spirit. You'll get there in no time.
RA!Pyrrha: Thank- hey, what's that commotion?
Angel: oh, that? Well, some Valkyrie and Angels are having a free for all to see who gets to collect the soul of the Rusted Knight. He's apparenly about to fall off a tree mid-battle soon.
RA!Pyrrha: oh ny! The Rusted Knight is real? That's Grand! I remember my mother reading me that story.... w-wait. He didnt die when he drank the poison? A-and he's about to d-die? And they're all....
Angel: Fighting over his soul, yeah. The Valkyrie claim their "little sis" on Remnant called dibs already, but we Angels know the Knight, his family has fought our fight for generations and he's even fought at the side of the God of Light's champion.
RA!Pyrrha: ooo-oh, wow! The truth is stranger than any legend. Still, i hope someone who will be kind to him wins..... dying in the line of duty still hurts.....
Angel: oh, they'll be 'kind' alright. This group is mostly just thirsty thots looking to score with a new arrival. Bah, i say we should just send a reaper spirit for this Arc dude, plenty of time to make a pass on him later.
RA!Pyrrha: *twitch* what.
Angel: oh yeah, that wasn't in the legend, right? His real name is Jaune Arc or something. I read the file; some time travel bullshit and a stable time loop happened. It's kinda-
RA!Pyrrha: It's a free for all, correct? (Hard eyes)
Angel: uh
RA!Pyrrha: And the heavenly blacksmith is over there, right?!? (Flexing muscles, swords rattling in the distance)
Angel: uhhhhhhhhh
RA!Pyrrha: And im ALLOWED TO GUIDE SOULS AS WELL, CORRECT? (Wings extend, a circle of floating swords forming a halo)
Angel: y-es? (Sweating)
Angel-Of-War!Pyrrha: (sweetly) oh good!
(Her eyes narrow)
AoW!Pyrrha: word of advice. Don't get in my way-HEY, I HAVE A PRIOR CLAIM, THOTS. BACK OFF!!!!!!
Angel: *gulps*
Jaune: *blinking, lying on the ground where he fell* Oooohhhhhh…I don’t think my aura will save me this time…
????: It’s okay…I’ve got you…
Jaune: *blinks and squints* P…Pyrrha…? Is that you…?
Pyrrha: *cradling Jaune in her lap and tenting her red-feathered wings over him* Hello again, Jaune! You had quite a nasty fall!
Jaune: *looks around and sees piles of beaten/bruised angels and loose feathers everywhere* Wha…what happened…? Am I dead?
Pyrrha: *brushes Jaune’s long hair back* It was close, but I saved you just in time!
Jaune: What happened to all the other angels?
Pyrrha: Oh, well…it turns out sometimes there’s…competition…when it comes to being a guardian angel! 😡
Pyrrha: Luckily I was able to convince everyone else that I was the one for you! ☺️
Jaune: *looks back up into Pyrrha’s eyes and reaches up to touch her cheek* I can’t believe I get to see you again…! 🥹
Jaune: I like your horns and black wings!
Pyrrha: …my what…?
Pyrrha: *looks at her wings which have turned black* 😧
Pyrrha: *feels for her halo and finds two curving horns* 😨
Pyrrha: …Uh-oh…!
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miya-rin · 2 years ago
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"i can't believe you got in a fight.”
“he hit me first, you just expect me to stand there and take that?"
a small chuckle leaves his mouth at your choice of words, standing between your parted legs osamu has been patching you up after a ‘small mishap’ with one of your classmates.
"obviously not, its just…" his voice trails off as he rummages around in the first aid kit until he finds an alcohol wipe, gently tearing it open before swiping it across your cheek, you wince in discomfort and he gives you an apologetic look. "sorry — its just, you're not really the type to hit someone, like i know you can defend yourself but cmon, you knocked him out."
"deserved."
"you really are something else." he laughs as he starts to dig around to find something else to slather over your face.
"thankyou."
"not a compliment."
“i'm gonna take it as one."
"i knew you would."
"yeah yeah whatever, you would have done the same.”
“oh yeah totally.” he picks up a tube of antibacterial cream and gently starts to apply it to the cut on your cheek, making sure to be extra careful as to not put too much.
“thankyou by the way.” he tilts his head up to look you in the eye for a split second before focusing back on the cream in his hand.
"hm?"
"for cleaning me up and that, thankyou."
"yeah well you probably wouldn't have, the blood would just be dried up all over your hands and face.”
"oh shut up," you let out a light laugh and by god you sound amazing "i'm not that bad."
"sure, whatever you say.”
the room elopes in silence — comfortable silence, the kind where you're not too worried if someone speaks or not, and yet you do.
"say, how long have you been dying your hair?"
"oh, i'm not sure, wh-" his words are cut short as he feels your hands snake up his undercut and into the dyed strands atop his head. shit he thinks, he so badly wants to look up at you, but he knows that if he does he won't be able to look away.
"it's really soft, what conditioner do you use? it must be good for it to not be completely dead."
"yeah." he stutters slightly, but just enough that you might not have been able to hear it. god he hopes you didn't hear it.
he still doesn't answer your question, staying quiet for a good minute or so before you decide to take action. gently tugging at his hair, an indication for him to look at you, he puts down whatever he was fiddling with and his eyes meet yours. they're a lot wider than normal, he almost looks scared, but from the dusting of pink spread across his cheeks you can tell it's something different. hes nervous.
“osamu, did you hear me?” the way you’re lightly scratching at his scalp turns him to putty in your hands. “i asked you a question.”
“uhm..i started dying it when i was like 13? so about 5 years now. and whatever conditioner my ma brings home.” you hum in approval as you continue to mess around with his hair.
“you know…i should probably finish bandaging you up.” he makes a start at grabbing some plasters to put over your bruised and bloody knuckles, avoiding eye contact even harder than before.
“wow, you wanna get rid of me that quickly? youre cold osamu.”
thats gets him to look at you.
“i never said that.”
“dont act dumb now, i heard you loud and clear.”
“youre putting words in my mouth.”
“oh so you’re accusing me now? this isnt the osamu i know and love.” as soon as that last word falls from your lips osamu burns a crimson red from his face to his neck and probably lower, choking on his spit and trying to catch his breath. if only you had your phone on you.
“you what?” he can finally speak by the looks of it.
“i love you. dont act like you didnt know.”
“yn, tell me youre joking.”
“are you rejecting me right now? thats a mean way to do it dont you think?”
“are you kidding me? ive had a crush on you since we were 15.”
“i know, why dont you do something about it?” you say with a sly smirk. he still looks on edge at the whole interaction, but theres no time like the present.
he lifts up his large and calloused hands to grab both sides of your face before bringing you into a sweet but passionate kiss, it doesnt last long as you are both conscious of the fact that anyone could walk into the schools medical room, but it is just enough to leave you both satisfied after years of pining. pulling away you are met with that boyish smile you fell in love with all those years ago.
“now that i think about it, im kinda glad you got into that fight…”
“so am i.”
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mamadarama · 9 months ago
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Off topic from previous ask but you ever look at how ridiculour Madara's stats are? You telling me this guy is born and he's just physically gifted strong? Tall? Buff? Okay whatever... Next you know he can play multiple instruments and it's the least you expect of him. Him playing a cello??? Violin??? Okay he can't get any more ridiculous right— he's fluent in multiple languages, English only being one of them. You're telling me this guy likely knows my mother tongue because our language is just somewhat up there in the list of languages japanese people learn. You're telling me he'll take me anywhere and boom he goes "yeah I speak the local language I can read this Chinese menu for you. Italian? Piece of cake. Norwegian? Ahh a little hard but (speaks fluently)". And then you learn about his multiple seacraft and aircraft licenses like my man can drive a MILITARY HELICOPTER?.??????? A BOAT???? YOU'RE 20 WHEN DID YOU HAVE THE TIME TO DO THIS???? (Then again I haven't been able to access his older stories so there might be a mention where he was just taught to as a kid of the Yakuza whatever. And you remember this man, out of all things, is an IDOL. He's a solo one too and a fairly decent one at that, enough to hate being compared to because he's skilled. HOW DOES HE HAVE THE TIME FOR THIS. YOU'RE NOT EVEN 20. Okay he might be barely 20 now BUT STILL.??? HE'S RIDICULOUS. DONT GET ME STARTED ON BEING A SUCCESSOR OF ONE OF THE 5 ECCENTRICS REI MOTHERFUCKING SAKUMA... He's... An explosive...
- Madara yume anon 🍀
OK SO HERES THE THING WITH THAT. obviously hes a swiss army knife of a man, jack of all trades, etc that much is clear. but its fully his choice to be this way. some stuff is coincidental of course, like his body type is just like that (although he does still work out) and some of his skills he learned as a necessity of being kanatas caretaker/bodyguard (martial arts probably, smuggling magazines for kanata to read), and traveling alone as much as he does, being fluent in multiple languages is not optional. but then theres stuff like operating heavy machinery.... and fighting with weapons... and basically everything else. why would he need any of that? well thing is, he hates himself. his self worth is entirely reliant on his ability to be useful to other people .
when you have a long term relationship with someone, especially if it spans a part of both your childhoods, you grow into each other like a skin graft. if one person is cut away from the other because theyre unable to be there for some reason, the place they occupied will eventually heal over.... and when they come back, there will no longer be a place for them. theyre replaced by new skin, or something like that. like, when madara was exiled and forced away from kanata, he eventually met chiaki, who filled every role madara used to fill (including the one in his family— i believe chiaki and madaras mother are on good terms but dont quote me on that i dont remember where i got it from) and when he managed to get back to japan, he was superfluous, which is a fate worse than death to him. so he learns how to do anything and everything, hoping that at some point one of his skills will be useful to someone and hell have a reason to live again.
tldr; madara knows how to do so much on purpose because the more things he can do, the more opportunities there are for being able to help people. and the more obscure skills he knows, the more irreplaceable he becomes, safeguarding him from becoming unneeded in his friends lives despite his constant absence .
as for the successor thing we still dont really know what rei means by that, cuz according to ritsu madara has been coming over their house for "successor business" for years, even before the war (i think) so it very well could have absolutely nothing to do with idol stuff . maybe its just an excuse to have crazy gay sex idk lol
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mao-likes-2-draw · 3 days ago
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keep having visions of a young morgan fey in maybe this time from cabaret. im sorry its just…little lyrical analysis nobody gaf about below the cut.
“maybe this time, i’ll be lucky, maybe this time he’ll stay” its ironic for morgan. you could imagine this song with her before her wedding ceremony with pearl’s father or with dahlia/iris’ father. he did NOT stay!
”not a loser anymore, like the last time and the time before…” i think morgan has been losing all her life, mainly to misty. if this is to be set before the wedding with pearl’s father, than she has already lost one man and two daughters. the last time and the time before refers to the fact that she has lost countless times, and has experienced failed love before.
however, dahlia/iris’ father was her first love and if it was to be set in the scene before their marriage, morgan would be more hopeful and excited that this marriage could bring new things for her. she’s finally getting a one-up over misty.
while pearl’s father fits with the narrative that sally/morgan has been rejected countless times before and has had trouble with relationships in the past, the marriage with the hawthorne’s father represents the more optimistic, hopeful part of the song. she has been cheated out of success her whole life, so it has to happen someday.
“everybody loves a winner, so nobody loved me” this again reinforces the idea that morgan/sally is a loser. shes not particularly gifted or kind, theres nothing special about her. misty is the “winner” who morgan has a seething jealousy for. despite being the older sister, morgan struggles to be seen by her family and has to fight for their love. misty doesn’t have to, because she’s spiritually powerful and has won the birthright.
“lady peaceful, lady happy! thats what i long to be.” morgan isn’t peaceful or happy, she’s bitter and spiteful and conniving. however, she used to have hope of being Lady Peaceful and Lady Happy. AKA, someone the village could look up to, someone people could respect. she so desperately craves approval and power. she wants to be a lady, a queen.
“all the odds are, they’re in my favor. something’s bound to begin!” this is a sad line because this song is so deeply hopeful for something audiences know will not happen. in cabaret, the nazis rise to power and cliff leaves and sally turns to ignorance. in ace attorney, morgan grows to be a terrible sister and mother because of her insignificance and bad, competitive upbringing. something good has just got to happen someday, and sally/morgan fulheartedly believes that. only, we know that it won’t—it never will.
i don’t want to go into the whole “maybe this time i’ll win!” line because i feel like i would just be repeating myself.
yeah i dont know., maybe this time is such a sad, beautiful, hopeful song. and i think about morgan as a young adult/teen/child all the time because she must’ve been so different. she expected herself to be loved by her family for being the firstborn daughter, but ultimately never received the attention she wanted. …
no one cares about morgan because she’s terrible BUT I DONT CARE SHES VERY SPECIAL TO ME….its all about generational trauma guys trust
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moodymisty · 1 year ago
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Hi! Anon that wrote the huge ask about the yandere Night Lord (and implied yandere Salamander) scenario (the one with the in between pink coloured words), Ive been having thoughts about it again. And you know, the whole Knight fighting a Dragon dynamic becomes really funny when you think about how narrative-wise, all space marines are dragons.
A space marines, just like dragons. Are big huge monstercreatures who (in most cases) randomly arrive into a settlement of innocent people and wreak havoc all over the place (destroying cities, killing innocents, probably stealing some stuff if its a xenos settlement, and so on and so forth). They’re powerful, clever, and very hard to kill. You must kill them nonetheless. But the only difference between them and dragons is that space marines are, theoretically, on your side. They’re humanised enough for you to overlook the atrocities they commit. They’re doing this because it will help out humanity in the long term, they’re doing this because their primarch said so, they’re doing this because they think its right. But in the end it all boils down to how they have no other option, or a better way of phrasing it: its all that they can do. They’re made to kill. They’ve been irreparably transformed into something horrible and theres no going back from that, and its not like they had any choice in the matter either. You could even say that this mirrors the trope of someone’s greed and ego being the cause of a dragon to appear in a story (that someone in question being The Emperor)
So i find it kind of funny that in this scenario the Salamander sees himself as a knight. Like babe! You’re no different from any other space marine!! The fact that his legion interacts with people more doesn’t change who he is. He has just convinced himself that what he is, is noble. Like he’s some sort of symbol of hope and strength instead of being a walking talking murder weapon. He’s a dragon thats been brought up to think his scales are chainmail and that his claws are swords, that he’s totally not like his traitorous cousins, that he’s humanity’s loyal house dog instead of a fire breathing beast chained to a leash.
Yes he is fighting to save you, yes he loves you more than words could ever express. But to an outsiders perspective this isn’t a brave hero battling a monster to save his beloved, its two serpents fighting over the most sparkling jewel in a treasure hoard
I vehemently adore all of this. Particularly the part about how they think of themselves; As from their view of the story, they're the hero, but another might view them as the villain. Forgive my unfiltered, unrevised ramblings.
It reminds me of a moment from (I believe it was Unremembered Empire? forgive me if I'm wrong) where the Night Lords are waging war on Macragge and the civilians are seeing other Astartes besides the Ultramarines in action for the first time and realizing that, holy shit, these guys are actually horrifying. And looking at their 'protectors' in a whole new light. The Ultramarines proclaim they're different because they choose to be, but we've seen before that even the friendliest of space marines can change their tune when they feel it appropriate.
But back on topic. Salamanders.
Something relevant would be that even their beloved might possibly view them as that brave hero, at first. But as time goes on, they might see cracks in that visage and realize that the man guarding them is more beast than man, holding back a near animalistic desire for carnage. We know that even the most loving of Salamander is more than capable of being an emotionless killer when he desires it. Hell, you could even say it's a core part of them; It's not like you can muzzle a dragon. You can at best point them in the direction you want them to go.
Your Salamander might spare you some of the goriest of details, or the darkest parts of him, but you can see the tail wrapped around you, and how you're kept so close not only because of your safety, but also because he sees you as his. You're the treasure he's found, you're the jewel that rests on top of a pile of gold, and you're not going anywhere. He always looks at you(his treasure) fondly, but there's a possessiveness in his eyes that only gets worse over time.
Other Salamanders are seen as threats and thieves if they get too close. He's the hero of this story, duty bound to protect you even if he has to get his hands bloody. It's all for a purpose, therefor he's leagues different than the Night Lords that act as his chapter's opposite.
If you ever have to do your job or duty, and interact with other Salamanders or other members of humanity he's always right there; Guarding his treasure. And while he might technically be on a leash, it's extremely taught.
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altocat · 1 year ago
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you keep antagonizing an entire group of people and when they react to your drama you pretend theres one GeNeSiS HaTeR who sends you messages. you know so well who they are and blocked them. you blocked them what, 4, 5 times already, even if you can only block a person once. but you keep insisting you know. so just say it! instead of saying you know who this person is because you analyzed their writing and went all Sherlock Holmes on them. i'm sure the GeNeSiS HaTeR is in your head and there are just random folks who are sending you messages once you start the drama, but that doesn't fit your narrative of you fighting the bad guy. if you really know who this one person is - tell everyone. i think you're going to block the imaginary enemy for the 6th time and keep saying you know everything. prove me wrong
Genesis Hater is now BIGGER MAD. And once again, you're still hiding on Anon.
There's a reason why I won't say who it is. And this might actually surprise you. I don't want a witch hunt. I don't want people actively coming down on someone else over something as inconsequential as petty fandom drama. I believe in the best in people and while I think you're being completely ridiculous pretending to be multiple people or making wild claims about a random character that are completely unsubstantiated, I don't want hoards of people actively coming down on you when they know who you are. I don't think you deserve that. I don't think anyone deserves that. I wish you could give me the same courtesy, but here we are. Perhaps one day you will surprise me.
Honestly, I prefer diplomacy. I continue to entertain this because it is 1.) Very cathartic in bolstering my love for this character and 2.) I live in the vague hope of you perhaps one day growing up and/or moving on. Why you've selected me specifically to produce this conflict at hand, I have no idea. I was happily living in my fantasy world of stupid anime men long before this shitstorm showed up. If by "antagonizing" you mean "existing" then yep. I sure was. Just remember YOU came to ME. You're the one flinging mud. You're the one who used colorful descriptions of "dick eating". And you're the one who keeps trying to pretend that you're multiple people when...you're just one person. Other Genesis haters have been way more respectful and mature about this than you could ever hope to be.
But don't worry. Despite everything, I still believe in you. And I'll continue believing in you regardless of whatever conflict you continue to brew. And that, I think, is a hopeful goal to strive for in the midst of this incredibly huge waste of both of our time. But by all means, do continue.
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justabitscrewy · 1 year ago
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Just want to say I adore your OC Izen! I don't know his whole story but the snippets I've seen are tantalizing and I really enjoy him. Also his design is so cool like, I'm a tiny bit afraid of spiders but he is adorable and epic and utterly amazing.
Thank you for sharing him and your art!
THANK YOU SO MUCH. i know i should've just answered this ask when i received it, but i was so excited at your words that i spent like,,, two weeks drafting a primer? just so that way you'd have more context?? Theres a LOT of lore that provides the foundation for Izen's backstory, so writing a primer of any kind was DIFFICULT. I've parsed it down substantially. The vibes are there, and i think it all tracks, but I haven't broken down any specific timeline or events, because a) it would be way too long, and b) some of those events haven't come up at the table yet.
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Summary:
Izen fled the Monks of Mercy after becoming a drider, and found sanctuary with a formless voice that lives deep in the underdark, a voice lingering on the boundary between life and death. This voice would become Izen's undead patron and friend, and provided Izen with magic and means of defending himself. The patron is missing pieces of himself (ancient relics that were scattered to the surface) and Izen has made it his mission to leave the underdark in order to find his friend's missing pieces.
On the surface, Izen first met Phaela -- who would quickly become the greatest friend he ever had. She would offer him safety and transportation (in the form of her truck) and more importantly, a kind hand and an eagerness to show him how beautiful and wonderful the world can be.
Now, Izen and Phaela are traveling with three more people -- and the more people Izen meets the safer he feels. The world is a kinder place, and these people are good. He believes in them, he trusts them, and he wants to help them.
Breakdown of Themes and Lore are under the readmore!
THE THEMES BABY:
Pre-Campaign:
Izen sees his drider transformation as a victory over death — society told him that he was cursed, condemned, and in need of redemption. He refused to internalize the guilt and blame and fought tooth and nail to separate himself from anyone who would manipulate him.
Izen is driven by equal parts hope and fear. Fear of death, fear of captivity, fear of pain — but an unwavering hope and raw belief that life has to be good, that freedom is obtainable, that there must be a kinder and softer place for him out there somewhere.
Now:
Izen is trying so hard to embrace the second chance at life and freedom that the surface has provided him. He has a best friend in Phaela, someone who has proven to him that he was right all along. He was right to never give up, never give in, that the world could be better and kinder than what he was raised in.
Izen is absolutely enthralled by what he finds on the surface. The moon, the stars, the changing of seasons. And he’s torn between being fully enamored with the people he meets while still harboring a paranoia at being found out and returned to the drow. But every person he’s met, from Phaela, to the party, to strangers along the way, has only reaffirmed that the cruelty he experienced in his past was the outlier.
He loves bright colors, clashing patterns, soft blankets, scented soaps, and beautiful candles. Simple and beautiful things that brings such small but profound comfort and vibrancy
AAAAHHHHH Lore Notes:
Enlightenment: The Drow are a culture that lives in division. There are the days of Enlightenment — the days of now, where they have agriculture, cities, infrastructure, mining, industry — and the days of Descent — the days of a previous age, where they were nothing more than primitive warriors who had to fight to survive in a savage time, barely more enlightened than the monsters and beasts they fought against.
Death: The Drow believe that the moment of death is the most important time in a drow’s life. Death is when they return to Lolth, death is when Lolth sees how far the drow have come. For every drow returned to Lolth, her judgement of their entire progress shifts. This is why the Drow believe that it is imperative for each individual to die with pride and dignity — to never fear death and always welcome its embrace. Only animals fears death, and the Drow are not animals. And the individual will be held against the whole.
Drider: The Drow believe the drider transformation is a divine punishment from Lolth. And given that Lolth has not spoken to the drow in generations, it’s the only form of contact she has with them in this age. The Drow believe that the Drider are a lingering scar of the Descent — a time when they had to become monsters themselves in order to survive. When Lolth turns a beautiful drow into a hideous drider, she’s revoking their progress — reminding them that they haven’t grown at all. It’s a warning that they are still no better than their primitive ancestors that crawled in the dirt of the under dark. And worse of all — given that ever drider transformation is given to a drow near death — its a rejection. Lolth only wants to receive the brave and the enlightened. For Lolth to seeing a dying Drow and instead of ending their misery and welcoming them into her embrace — she prolongs their life by twisting them into a monster that isn’t even a drow anymore. It’s a rejection. A guilty verdict. That drow was so fallen that she spit them out and left them to be an example and warning so that others might learn from their mistakes. This is what they believe.
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skaardd · 2 years ago
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I am sorry and I feel very bad
I am sorry. I know that there were good times and fun had together. I know that I was not perfect. But I can't convince myself that we were meant to be together based on everything that has happened. I have a hard time seeing how that was love. I don't think it is love for those things to happen to me. I don't think its love to lie to someone time and time again and see how much pain you're putting them through and still be okay with lying. We all make mistakes, but to me that is a mistake that should never happen. I would never have done that to you. It is really upsetting that you were able to lie to my face and put me through mass amounts of pain, just because you wanted to. And you saw the effects it was having on me - me not sleeping, eating, crying 24/7/wanting to die. All because I might've spoke about commitment. That is insane to me.
I would never put someone through that if I really loved or cared about them. I am sorry this time was different. I am sorry that this time I am not there for you to help you when you're upset. I would love to be able to comfort you, I really hate to contribute to your unhappiness in anyway. It pains me to not be there to make everything better like I have always tried to in the past. I know everything may have came as surprise. But believe me, I tried over and over again. Theres just some things you don't do in a relationship if you really love the person. We all make mistakes, I get that. But I can't understand making up an elaborate lie/scheme to someone that was never true.
I want to be with one person for forever. I want full intimacy, full love, full everything. I don't want to hide anything, I don't want to keep anything. I want to spend the rest of my days with my one true love/person. I want to invest my time in doing activities with someone knowing that in a couple of years we're going to be getting married/having children. I need to be able to plan my life out to some degree. It's anxiety inducing to have 0 plan as to what is going to happen.
I understand that some people have commitment issue. And that some people are afraid of the future. Some people want to focus on having "fun" now. I get that. I don't understand, if you really love the person you're with, that youre not able to commit to a forever with them. I dont get not being upfront and honest with someone. I don't get the point of being together if youre not planing on being with that person for forever. I don't get telling someone one week - I want be with you forever, to the next week, out of nowhere, being extremely cold - I don't want anything to do with you.
SO, yeah. I do think about things sometimes. The good times, the trips, the animals, the laughs, the fish, the walks, etc. I tend to only focus on the good in people, but it gets me in trouble. But then I have to look at the reality. The reality is very upsetting, and sad. It is sad how you can be with someone for 3+ years and still not know who they are. It is sad that this person couldn't even be a decent friend (if not romantic).
I am sorry that I am not going to be there for you this time. Meaning, I am not going to be coming back or putting up with your inconsistencies. I really, really, feel bad and like I have lost the fight in the relationship. I was always fighting for us. It felt one sided. I need to put myself first, and look at the reality that I have been blind to for so long. I am sorry that I couldn't make things work out between us. I am.
I have nothing against you. With all of your bad, and wrong doings, I still focus on the good. You're very fun, and have the ability to take care of people, and be selfless. For me, things didn't work out. I know that someone else will find you and be able to love you in the ways that you deserve. In the ways that I could not understand you, they will. I hope that you see this in them and that you never let them go. I hope that you don't take them for granted.
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akarii-memes · 2 years ago
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Mutual Meme
1. the cool mutual how they ever decided to follow u and why they still do is a mystery to u. sometimes you post such incredible bullshit ur surprised they signed up for this. u get incredibly happy seein them on ur activity page. you cant believe it. bless this mutual
2. the drama mutual type A if theres ever discourse on ur dash or drama of any sort, this is the one u turn to. they have everything about everyone on their blog and if you ever wanna lurk this is who u go to. honestly, where would you be without them.
3. drama mutual type B if theres ever discourse on ur dash or drama of any sort, this might be the one behind it. they vague, they namedrop, they start drama and ur intimidated by them but u still stick around, probably because theyre also really cool. u just hope they wont vague u.
4. the pda mutual says “ i love you guys “a lot and a ray of absolute sunshine on ur dash? their posts are just uplifting and make this hellsite a lot more bearable. theyve probably sent u a really sweet message once too, and u could probably message them about anything. an angel.
5. the silent one they almost never make text posts, they never post selfies and only answer the occasional ask. just a constant stream of aesthetic. maybe u think theyre neat but ur too scared to actually IM them. regardless u hope they have a good day.
6. the kpop mutual ah, yes. that one you followed for god knows what and now they post only kpop. u dont even know what their url was before this or who they are. you probably dont even know about anything about kpop aside from those big selfies they post from twitter everyday.
7. the funnyman mutual u see their posts from time to time on ur dash and feel happy knowing ur mutuals makin it. makes a lot of sans jokes too. and piss and vore too maybe. closely tied with the cool mutual at times
8. the old mutual uv followed them for so long u dont even know what they first posted, but theyre here now and u feel like friends seeing how long its been. u reply to each others posts and occasionally send asks. might be the kpop mutual at times
9. The Flirting Mutual Are u dating this Mutual? Who know? You live 3000 miles apart but you call each other the most annoying pet names and occasionally drop into their inbox to leave sweet nothings as a Joke (??? But is it really a Joke???)
10. Same Neurodivergemce Mutual Both ur heads r both fucked in about the same way, creating an everlasting bond and sharing of coping mechanisms
11. Big Name Fan Mutual They got noticed by the official Tumblr for your favorite show but you knew them when they had 7 followers and a goat. Until they started getting hate for their Opinions you didn’t even realized they had 5K followers.
12. Discourse Mutual Integrates a healthy amount of political news and opinions into ur dash, u know how the rising popularity of quinoa is affecting the working poor in Uruguay because of them.
13. Mystery Mutual A specific kind of old mutual. They changed their icon and url, but you recognise their mode of typing and their tagging system. You can’t place why you know them or when you followed them or even why you still follow them, but they’re here and you feel compelled to leave them on your dash for old times sake.
14. Fan Wank mutual Hates the same parts of a show that u do. Sends you seven different links to the same post so that you can bitch about the tags on all of them. You would both fight someone to the death over your opinion of season 4
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ase-trollplays · 2 years ago
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A Stern Talking To
It's been about two nights since the incident at the coffee shop, and you haven't really put much thought into the aftermath of what you did. You probably broke the law assaulting a seadweller since they're supposed to be royalty, and you're the bottom of the barrel on the spectrum. However, that's not a concern right now. You're not going back to that cafe, and you're definitely not going to see him again, so why dwell on it?
You're on your bed with a bag of hivemaid jerky listening to troll Pandora Radio as you log into trollian. It's been a month since you heard from Darius, and you're hoping he's online so you can message him for the millionth time. He probably won't answer, but you still want to try. After all, he hasn't blocked you yet, so there's still hope.
However, tonight he's not online, much to your disappointment. With a sigh, you prepare to log out when something catches your eye. You see Thiomi sign into trollian, and before you even get the chance to blink, a message window opens with her contacting you.
--chronicallyMousey [CM] began trolling sandstormHuntress [SH]-- CM: ...corali primer... )//:<
Uh oh. She used your full name and sent an angry face. Fucking hell, what's she mad at you for now?
SH: What's the problem? CM: ...do you realize youre all over troll tiktok right now assaulting a highblood doctor at the coffee shop???...
... Wait what.
SH: What do you mean I'm all over troll tiktok? CM: ...i mean youre *all over troll tiktok!*... ...s-someone was filming you and posted it online... and now its going viral!... ...i doubt theres a s-single troll anywhere who hasnt at least heard of it... let alone seen it... SH: Sonuva bitch. SH: I didn't know someone was recording that.
That's a bold faced lie. If anything, knowing you were being filmed encouraged you. It reminded you of the kind of attention you get in the ring, which has been dwindling since you've been complete ass in your matches lately. Except that time you were going to win, and you did.
However, that's not something you can tell Thiomi. She'd lose her mind, and she's upset enough with you as is. You wanted to take it even further than that single punch, but it's looking like restraining yourself was the better option.
CM: ... i cant believe you... ...what even led up to that?... ...thats one of the calmest places you can go... ...how on alternia did you wind up s-starting a fight??... SH: It ain't really a fight when the other person's spent after a single punch. CM: ...thats not helping your case... corali... SH: He provoked me. You know I don't cotton to highbloods. I told him not to sit with me, and he decided to anyways. I warned him. chronicallyMousey holds her head in her hands and sighs in frustration and disbelief CM: ...i know you dont like highbloods... but you couldnt have just ignored him??... ...its just a s-seat... ...was he taunting you about your caste or s-something?... ...or actively threatening you?...
Thinking back on it, he never threatened you or even called you a single name. He was really fucking annoyed and mad at you, but technically you showed aggression first.
You're quiet for what's probably way too long because you know Thiomi's not going to like the answer. Not that you have to even give her one. Your silence is answer enough.
CM: ...do you even realize how much trouble youre in?... ...and im not talking about with me... either... ...what if he has quadrants that decide to come after you?... ...what if he has legislacerators convict you?!... ...you could die or have your life ruined because you lost your temper!...
You're tempted to correct her about losing your temper. If you had truly lost it, you would have given him that gut punch or gored him with the retractable blade in your hand. No, what you did was wriggler mode.
However, you're not a complete idiot, so you keep that to yourself.
SH: If he's got angry quads, I say let them come. I'm more than equipped to handle any fight. As for the legis, I'll figure something out. CM: ...you dont know that!... CM: ...they could be a hitman... or a s-sniper... or s-something!... ...s-someone you cant beat by punching and s-stabbing... CM: ...and if legislacerators get involved... youre not going to win the case... ...not when theres viral video evidence against you... CM: ...and thats not even considering darius...
That gives you pause.
SH: What's Darius got to do with this? CM: ...you know hes definitely s-seen that video by now... right?... CM: ...how is he s-supposed to believe youre trying to change and be better when *thats* circulating?... CM: ...the whole reason youre trying to quit is to earn back his trust and faith in you... ...well... this might have just blown it all away...
... Shit. FUCK. You didn't even consider that. You don't have a rebuttal. She's got you dead to rights. The whole reason you agreed to get sober is for Darius's sake. You want him to trust you again. You want him to love you again. You want him to forgive you.
You may have just destroyed any progress you made. Sure, he never answers your calls or replies to your messages, but he hasn't blocked you. That means he's at least listening when you try to contact him. You've been giving him updates on how your sobriety is going and the progress you're making in addition to apologizing and begging him to talk to you.
What if he was starting to come around, and then he sees you...
The message notification beep from your husktop snaps you out of your thoughts.
CM: ...im s-sorry im being s-so hard on you... but you have to do better... ...you have to be better than this... CM: ...i just want to help you do whats best for you... ...believe me... i want darius to let you back into his life as much as you do... and i want to s-see you be healthier... SH: Yeh, yeh, I know. I'm sorry. CM: ...im not the one who needs an apology...
Oh no. You have a bad feeling about what she's going to say next.
CM: ...i need you to make a promise to me that if you ever s-see that doctor again... youll apologize to him...
God dammit, you were right.
SH: So, what. You want me to tell him how sorry I am, how he didn't deserve that, and beg him to forgive me? chronicallyMousey sighs. CM: ...you don't have to s-say anything you dont want to... ...you dont even have to mean it... ...just tell him that youre s-sorry... ...thats all i want from you... CM: ...can you promise me youll do that?... SH: Ugh SH: Yeah, sure, I guess. CM: ...i want you to promise me... SH: I promise if I ever see him again, I'll apologize. CM: ...thank you... (//:3 SH: So, are we done here. I got a lot to think about now. CM: ...okay... CM: ...have a good night... --chronicallyMousey [CM] gave up trolling sandstormHuntress [SH]--
You heave a big sigh and fall backwards onto your bed as you close your husktop. Thiomi's right about Darius probably seeing that video by now. Should you message him explaining yourself?
...
...
...
Yeah, but not right now. Right now, you just want to eat jerky and think about what you've done.
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ask-the-shorty-squad · 9 days ago
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It.. Can be... But. Theres the fact that this isnt her first crime. She did take over a city... This has many different outcomes.. And.. I dont see any being good.
*Fuyuhiko stood up, he was about to say something but Takaaki interrupted.*
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Look, I get it. She's your daughter you dont want anything bad to happen to her. I'd feel the exact same if it were my son in her shoes... But I need you to think logically, not emotionally. What she did was a crime. Justifiable, yes.. But seeing as she's commited a crime which was far worse than alot of crimes, do you actually think anyone will believe it was 'justified'?
*Just as Fuyu was about to retort. He sat back down. He knew Takaaki was right.. But there had to be something they could do.*
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Look, I-I'll do whatever I can to make her punishment as small as possible.. But just understand that something like this isnt gonna be easy..
"L-let me speak to them..."
Eh?
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Y-you.. Heard me..! I s-said.. Let me speak to them..!
*Toko stumbles into the room, holding onto the doorframe as if it was her life support.*
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T-Toko!! You need to be laying down!!
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Sh-shut it..! Idiot! I-I know that..! But...
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F-Fuyuhiko!! Teruteru!! Let me speak to them..! I'll guarantee she wont face a-any jail time..! Not a month, week, o-or even a day..!
*???*
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I.. I know we've never exactly gotten along... But.. You have to trust me... Th-this is the only way.. I know the higher ups... No matter the reason... For Kyosuke.. The only part of the killing game he ever agreed with was.. 'Murder is murder, it's an unforgivable sin which you can never be forgiven for.'
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B-but.. I know what to do... S-so... Let me talk to him...
*A heavy silence falls over the room. Fuyuhiko stands from is chair. He eyes wide, processing her words and his breathing shaking as he slowly approaches Toko before coming to an abrupt halt. Slowly, his lips part, but no words come out at first, just a trembling breath. Then, the weight of everything crashes down on him. His voice breaks as he tries to speak. He falls to the floor, gripping his own arm as if trying to hold himself together. His chest painfully tightens as he can no longer stop the sudden tears pouring. He gives up trying to fight it back and a choked sob escapes him.*
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Fuyuhiko: Please… Please Toko. Do whatever the hell you have to do! Just make sure she’s okay! Make sure she's safe! I don’t care what it takes!!
*Tears spill down his face as his cries echo in the room. His tough and hardened exterior which he held so dauntlessly was crumbling on site. He slowly attempts to lift himself back up, only successful once he grabs hold of the hospital bed to use as support.
Once he's finally on his feet again, the first thing his eye falls on is his daughter, who now wears an expression of pure shock after just witnessing her dad fall to the ground in tears. Tears continue to pour as he suddenly rushes over to her side, embracing her tightly. It isn't long before the very sight of Fuyuhiko's breakdown and sudden embrace causes Teruteru to cry as well and quickly rush to Monaca's other side to hug her as well.
In the very moment, as Monaca sat completely still out of shock, all she could hear were her fathers desperate cries. Seeing the tears they shed, seeing their expressions of pure desperate hope, hope that whatever consequence that she would face would be as light as possible, it was enough for Monaca's face to form and match their anguished expressions. The tears followed suit.
For a good long while, they stood there in the hospital. Crying at the idea of the worst happening to Monaca. Holding her out of fear of someone or something that could take her away from them. They would not let her go. They couldn't. They loved her far too much to let her go. She was their daughter. They were her dear fathers. You don't give up on your kid for protecting themselves and their loved ones. It's not right.*
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ariswolfram · 6 months ago
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History Long Past...
"Yonox! Yonox!" Nosinx runs into the living room of their house, excitedly holding up a DVD of the newest Avengers movie, "I GOT THE MOVIE!"
"Woa- you did? Where?" Yonox sits up on the couch and looks at it tiredly.
"From some beautiful place called Errth or Terra or something!"
"Go ahead and put it in then-!"
Nosinx, almost expecting that answer, goes to the DVD player and puts the disk in, powering on the television in preparation. As he does so, the front door opens up, and someone enters the house.
"Oh! Truth is here! TRUUTHHH! GET THE POPCORN READY!!"
"OKAY!" Truth replies from the entry way as he walks toward their room.
Nosinx sits on the couch next to Yonox as Truth walks into the room.
Yonox looks up at him with a smile, then siezes up.
"Whats up?" Nosinx looks as well, seeing the massive armored body of Null standing in their doorway instead.
"HAHAHA! THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES RIGHT NOW IS PRICELESS!"
"w... what-"
"But i heard... Truth-"
"Awww, you actually believed my act? Why isnt that adorable!" He walks forward, the sounds of his heavy feet shaking the floor as he walks, "Glad to know it was believable. Maybe i can get rid of some of the others that were getting in my way now hm?"
"P-please- go away-" Nosinx hugs Yonox in fear.
Null stops in front of their faces and leans in, glancing outside a nearby window to view the setting sun, "I mean... i can go away. But i want to have my fun with at least one of you first. Plus, dying together gives you closure... and we cant have that now can we?"
Null grabs the scruff of Nosinx's neck and begins to drag him.
Nosinx cries out in a panic, "No, NO! NO!! NO!"
Null cackles madly as Nosinx continues his pleas of help. Yonox being unable to move as thanks to one of his spells, "PLEASE- I DONT WANT TO DIE- NOSINX-"
The sun erupts and expands rapidly with loud and powerful energies, ripping the skies open and clouding the horizon in a pure black shroud, outlined in white.
The deep bass filled sound of annihilation rapidly approaching, outlining their fear.
Null opens a portal to the Void and pulls Nosinx through it, "YONOX NOOOO- PLEAS-" His sentence is cut short as the portal closes behind him.
The black horizon continues its ever-fast advance, as the skies burn and the rubble rises.
Yonox cannot do anything but sit in his seat, paralyzed with fear and sorrow.
"I... couldn't save you... Im sorry... i..."
He turns his gaze to the window just as the sphere passes the barriers of his house and encompass him.
He speaks, for not even he can hear his voice anymore.
The sphere shrinks, its walls pushing Yonox deeper into its center.
The house rips to shreds and crumbles apart, the air compresses and him curls into a ball.
The sphere shrinks until it reaches its smallest in near-instant timing.
Though as he is a god, the instant lasts for ages...
The sphere compresses his form, he tries to fight its grasp but cannot do anything but sit and wait as everything he was soon decays.
He tries to come up with excuses, calling it a dream; a nightmare.
He tries to beg Truth for help, he tries to break his way out...
But its become too much...
His body shrinks under the impossible forces...
And then... He is lost.
I know this ones a bit cheesy, its an old excerpt from a story i did a while ago.
The gods present in it are Nosinx, god of Light. And Yonox, god of Darkness. I made them both moths cause it is funny. The god of sun is a moth, lol.
But yea, hope you enjoyed it, especially given the fact its fairly old. I try to not change my old works too much, simply cause i like to see how i have advanced over the years. Though i will need to change it a lot when i get to actually publishing it, as otherwise its just... cringy...
I mean, theres a part in the first arc where the main characters are literally handed a magic item for no reason, just because the guy was dying-
But yea. This indeed happened
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garpond · 1 year ago
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i wish i wanted something like i wish i cared ..................................i wish anything at all made me truly happy. i wish it bothered me that ive been refusing to live my life for so long. i just pretend that its not happening and my main objective is to figure out how to make my brain stop cannibalizing itself worrying about things that have nothing to do with the here-and-now of my day to day reality. i want to be genuinely excited for something besides the prospect of sleeping a little longer than usual. i wish i didnt think it was stupid to hope things will be nice later. i wish making myself think about how i could expand my world and meet people and try new things and attempt to live my life in a way that will make me happy didnt feel like pushing a boulder uphill. and like ill slip and get crushed by it as soon as one little thing goes wrong. like. how do you convince yourself not only that you are capable of being happy but that you deserve to fight against the confines of your life to make yourself get there. how do you fight a battle you dont believe in. sometimes i wish something terrible would happen that would shock me into being grateful im alive. and make me want to live my life to the fullest. right now im just living year 22 of "this is as good as it ever gets". just enjoy the peace you have and figure out how to survive the next thing that hurts you really deeply in the same exact way it has over and over and over and over and over and over and over so much that it feels so stupid and banal and you can barely believe it matters even though casually telling people experiences from your life makes them uncomfortable and trip over themselves to apologize to you for having to go through it. none of it means anything but its all anything ever means to me and everything is built around it but also theres a million or more other people in the world just like me so im not remarkable or special but also i dont know anyone else who is maladjusted in quite the exact same way as me. i dont know. what am i. why am i here. does it matter, does it not matter. is it dumb to worry about it as much as i do. it might not be a lot but its also too much to tell anyone. i cant tell if its a lot or a little because its all i am. and that brings me back to the problem of how i feel like its all ill ever be. i wasnt programmed to want i was programmed to take a look at what i feel is possible and pick the thing that seems like it'd cause the least fuss for the people i dont want to upset. but now im floundering because they change their mind about what they want every single day and my future just feels like im watching someone scribble lines in the sand that the tide keeps washing out. who knows where ill be in a year. where does it all crumble in on itself? when does it all hit me and leave me with nothing and force me to live my empty life with nobody because theres nothing inside myself. anyway
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realizes im just wrong ontologically in my very being forever now and do not have the capability of being made right but who cares cause its not like im dying or anything
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pacifymebby · 2 years ago
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Can I request the peaky blinders with a s/o who was previously in a relationship and there ex popping back up to start back over with them💜
Aw thank you for this message lovely!! Its so nice to know people like my stuff, especially since im quite new to writing peaky boys stuff. So its good to know people are enjoying it haha.
Hope you like these love, some of them are a bit long because i guess i got carried away haha
Tommy
🌿He can tell there's something different about you, something dangerous, a different kind of higher class, the second he sees you..
🌿And when he learns who you are - a mafia princess - his mind is set.
🌿He has to have you... Not just once, but for keeps.
🌿It wouldn't just be startegically a perfect move, ot would also bolster his ego. This is a man who wants the whole world and to wed mafia royalty... That would be a pretty big chunk of the world.
🌿But it would be scandalous in many ways... Hes a politician, a sitting MP... And its no secret the corruption, violence and murderous tendencies of your infamous family. There would be no feigning innocence anymore.
🌿If he's going to be with you he'll have to do it with his whole chest, openly admit to his own corruption and wrong doing, he'd have to be the bad guy in the open...
🌿 And he'd have to play his cards right, he couldn't be playing games with you... He's fairly certain playing games will end with one of your bullets in his brain.
🌿 You're already used to the finer things in life so his wining and dining and usual tactics won't work on you. "Is all this supposed to impress me Mr Shelby?"
🌿Your family probably have tigers roaming the villa grounds you grew up in. You probably grew up alongside wild animals...
🌿 And youre supposed to be impressed by a country estate and race horses...
🌿 Actually the things that really attract you to tommy are these:
🌿🌿He's troubled, he fought in a war, one which your family watched and ignored... You secretly don't believe that the men in your family, know what its really like to be a man, fighting to protect the family... Though they tell you that's what they're doing all the time.
🌿🌿His roots, theres somrthing mysterious about it, the fact that he talks to his horses, the fact you've heard theres a gypsy curse on his head. It's more interesting to you than anything you've heard back in New York
🌿🌿 The fact that there was a time in his life when he had nothing, he actually clawed his way out of poverty...you were born into your riches, you've never really had to work for anything in your life, so youre in awe of the things hes won for himself.
🌿🌿 You also love the way he takes whatever he wants from the world, just snatches it up regardless of whether he deserves it or not. Youre hoping thats what he'll do to you. Steal you away from your family. Claim you as his own.
🌿But you wont admit any of these things to him, you play the princess personality up for all its worth because you like the idea of being the one thing tommy shelby can't have
🌿Tommys brothers think hes daft for even trying... They've seen you, heard rumours about you, they think hes way out of his depth... But tommy is determined
🌿 And one day when you finally give into the charm youd been resisting, you become the most feared couple... The mafia are secretly scared of your gypsy husband, they dont trust that he wont put a curse on them... And tommys family are terrified of you, the unpredictable, spoilt princess who will not hesitate to shoot someone dead just for looking at her funny.
🌿He can't tame you though and it concerns him, you probably make more trouble than its worth... You don't have the manners of the english and you refuse to learn them. Not even Tommy can teach you.
🌿 Calls you princess to patronise you, enjoys talking down to you and trying to put you in your place even if it hardly ever works. Showers you with gifts, and when he realises how drawn to his gypsy roots you are, he starts showering you with gypsy gifts, little trinkets hes carved for you himself, jewels with fine tales behind them, mysterious histories which capture your imagination.
🌿He likes to take you out on horseback to the middle of nowhere, lie down with you under the shade of a tree or on the bank if a river and tell you as many stories as he can, either from his childhood or gypsy tales you tell little children. Its his only way of getting you to calm down or behave yourself, of getting you to stop putting on that "fearless and fearsome mafia wife" personality.
Alfie
🐻Can't imagine you'd get on very well at first... If he realised his attraction to you he'd be angry with himself for thinking that way about a "wop"
🐻 He'd definitely try to ignore it... Which would be difficult because every time you were in a room with him you'd be little miss provocative, trying to get under his skin.
🐻 Youre not sure if thats because youre so used to all men falling at your feet that youre actively pissed off that this man wont... Or if its because you can see that he is attracted to you, but isnt acting on it (which would piss you off even more than the former) OR (and this is unlikely right, you would never!) perhaps you find him attractive. This slightly mad, older man who behaves as close to any mafia man youve ever met only rougher, not so well groomed. Hes a little gruff, theres something a little dirty about him...
🐻 Also youre a mafia woman... Youve been spoilt rotten your whole life by your father and brothers but youve never really felt the love of any of them... Youve only ever been treated like a possession by them... Which is a sure fire recipe for DaddyIssues™️
🐻 This gruff and slightly insane older man then, might be the only person who could ever be everything you ever needed...
🐻 But that discovery probably pisses you off even more, so its likely that in the moment went you realise what you really want from him, you raise your gun to his head, make him look down the end of it.
🐻 He's probably the only one of the peaky men who isn't actually scared of you, not because he doesnt think youre unpredictable and dangerous, but because hes not scared of death, hes looked it in the eyes one too many times to be scared of a "little girl" with a gun.
🐻 "Alright alright so youve got yourself a gun and youre not afraid to use it... You've come in here... To my humble bakery what i built up from absolutely fuck all... And you're waving that thing in my face like its fuckin christmas day and you just plucked it out of Santas fuckin sack..." "Did you get it for Christmas y/n? Did santa make it for you in the North fucken Pole?"
🐻 "You can pretend to be a mad old man all you like Mr Solomons but I'm not scared of old men..."
🐻 "Ohh well, thats alright then, thats good very good actually, cause see somet you might not know about me right? Im not afraid of little girls... Yeah?"
🐻 The remark would shock you a little, not much but enough to make you hesitate, and in that second of hesitation he could disarm you. Not that you'll ever make the same mistake again.
🐻 But this time he disarms you and pushes you back down onto his desk, takes your chin between his thumb and index finger so that you have to look him in the eyes. He can see how angry you are but he isnt deterred because he has control now and he knows he won't get that opportunity again for awhile...
🐻 "Looks like your daddy didn't teach you how to properly handle your weapons... Wouldnt make that mistake me... No, i, would, not." "And anyway, right... Somethin else i wanna know yeah... What kind of father yeah, what kind of fuckin father sends his little girl to the arse end of Camden Town to deal with his fuckin problems?" "You want my advice little girl, if i were you I'd stay right here, with thid here mad old man... Cause i reckon he would know how to take care of you properly..."
🐻 So you have a choice, give into the feelings and desires which have been plaguing you since you first met him, or spit in his face and tell him you'd rather die... And this is a man who just might offer you deal or death, thats how much he's his heart and mind set on you.
🐻 "Oh and Tommy, Tommy my old friend mate, did i tell you,just a little warning yeah, and i know you wouldnt ever think about crossing your dear old friend right but... If that thought ever does come flittering and fluttering into your whimsical gypsy boy brain... Just remember, ive got Mafia connections these days right... So i wouldnt if i were you... "
Arthur
🍂 Shits himself when he sees you pull a gun on a man in one of the Shelby bars in London.
🍂 Arthurs been sent to keep control of them and here you are, a fucking woman... With your gun raised to the eyes of one of his patrons.
🍂 When he steps in "alright alright is someone gonna tell me what the fuck is going on here?" and you answer him cold and simple "This english pig called me a very unpleasant slur and that... Mr Shelby, i won't tolerate..."
🍂 You shoot the man in the head right there in front of everyone. Screaming errupts and chaos and panic set in but you just stand there, strong arm still outstretched. Finger still on the trigger.
🍂 Arthur just gapes at you in shock, hes never seen a woman shoot someone, the fact that youre so glamourous looking too... From afar hed have mistaken you for one of the toffee nosed london elites who usually come to dance and drink in his bars because theyve heard they are dangerous and riddled with gangsters.
🍂 But now it seems, he recognises that accent of yours, turns out youre the gangster.
🍂 "Sorry about the mess Mr Shelby," you give him a quick smile and knock the body on the floor with your foot and turn to leave.
🍂 "Well, hang on a minute love hang on a minute you can't just..." "let me stop you there Mr Shelby..." hes not heard that slanted italian american accent on a woman before but he likes it, "i ain't your love... And i can actually... The evidence is soaking blood into your beautifully varnished floor..."
🍂 He gets into a lot of trouble with Tommy for letting you slip off unpunished, for letting the whole thing happen in the first place...but arthur doesnt see how he could have done anything different.
🍂"You weren't fuckin there Tommy, you didnt fuckin see her..."
🍂 He spends a lot of time tormented with daydreams of you, wants to see you again because hes got it bad for you... Even has a particularly steamy dream about fucking you whilst you hold your gun to his head.
🍂 So when you come back to his bar not a week later with a little white flag you made yourself, hes stunned and speechless and he doesnt know what to say. You say youve come to offer him a peace offering, just between you and him.
Its a little white flag and a little vile of white powder which is his on the condition that he shares it with you.
🍂 So you end up getting high together and fucking, and recreating that hot and heavy dream of his.
John
🌼 Deeply suspicious of you, doesn't trust the italians. You aren't pleasant to eachother to begin with at all.
🌼 You refuse to call eachother by name, hes a "pikey" you're a "wop" and thats that. You resent eachother.
🌼 Which is a shame because Tommy only introduced you before the wedding as an act of mercy to his little brother...
🌼 When you walk down the aisle dressed in white, veil covering your scowl John feels his heart freeze.
🌼 Of course he can't be too unhappy, you are fucking stunning... Your olive skin, your long dark hair, theres something almost virgin Mary about you, especially when youre all in white and pure...
🌼 And you would be lying if you tried to pretend you didnt find the gypsy boy to be good looking. His freckles are cute. He's strong, bulkier than any of those italian boys that have been sucking up to your father hoping for your hand all these years. John looks like a man who might be able to handle you
🌼 But hes still a pikey and youre still a wop and you refuse to say a word to him the whole day of your wedding. You fucking hate your father and you fucking hate tommy shelby
🌼 And in the end thats what draws you and John together. Mutual resentment for the men who forced you together.
🌼 Consumating the marriage is intense... When youre alone together youre both pretty much pretending you don't want it, spitting insults at eachother, hate in your eyes as he backs you up against the wall and you tell him youd sooner die than let a fucking pikey get his hands on you.
🌼 Pisses him off "That can be arranged love don't you fuckin worry," the two of you reaching for your guns at the same time. Challenging eachother, neither one of you backing down, eyes locked, fingers on triggers.
🌼Until something overwhelms you both at once and you can't resist anymore. When you come together its violent and explosive. John enjoys the thought hes tarnishing you, taking your purity, vandalising your virginal self... And you enjoy being fucked against the wall, your hands squeezing his throat, choking him.
🌼 After this the dust begins to settle on your hatred for one another... Youre more united against Tommy and your father than you are against eachother. But you like to keep up the pretence. Its like a fun game you have, pretending to hate eachother then having intense the most intense sex when youre alone. Youre always trying to push the boundaries, testing eachother.
🌼 You still affectionately refer to eachother by your respective slurs but see if anyone else ever tried it... If anyone ever called you a wop, john would put a bullet in them quicker than lightnight, and if anyone ever insulted him for his blood, youd be the one firing your gun.
🌼 John enjoys the way people fear you, he likes having a dangerous wife by his side.
🌼 You like having a dangerous man by your side, one who isn't so sleezy and american and preocupied with their looks... You think hes a real man.
Bonnie
🍀 Poor sweet innocent boy has no idea who you are when he first meets you... And thats partly your fault because you do lie to him.
🍀Youre actually sick of people being so scared of you, you dont think they are really scared of you, you think they are scared of your father... Which isnt fair... Its making it impossible to find a man and pretty soon youre certain your fathers going to arrange your marriage to some sleeze in another mafia family for the good of the lineage anyway
🍀 When you meet Bonnie Gold after one of his fights which Ada Shelby snuck you into, he has no idea about your family, but you know everything about his... And you see one thing in him...
🍀 Escape. You don't want to be a mafia princess anymore. Like Ada you want to shed your family name and be your own person.
🍀 So when you're introduced after the fight you beg him to take you away, to help you dissappear. And him being naive and you being very fucking pretty, he's more than happy to oblige.
🍀 After his fight the two of you disappear together for several weeks, hes no idea of the trouble hes getting himself into, and youre naively trying to pretend this can last forever
🍀You love the nomadic life style, the not knowing where you'll be tomorrow or a week from now, the knowing that nobody can find you, that no one you meet knows a single thing about you. And you like the simplicity too...
🍀Bonnie can tell that youre hiding something from him but he isnt sure what and he trusts that youll tell him eventually... For you to be friends with Ada Shelby, for you to have been so desperate to get away from London... He knows that you have a darkness inside you... But like i said he trusts you... And he's seen a soft and innocent side to you.
🍀Over the weeks you spend travelling together you grow closer and closer. At night you sleep under the stars, wrapped up together in his big coat with a blanket over you both. In the morning you awake with the birds and he teaches you to hunt and to cook wild rabbit. You fall for eachother slowly. When you share your first kiss you feel guilty, you almost cry and he can tell youre upset.
🍀 "Don't be sad little dove, i know you're keeping secrets, i don't mind... You can tell me all your secrets when you're ready,"
🍀 When you return he takes you to meet his father, to tell him you want to be married, that youre in love which makes Aberama laugh. He thinks it hilarious because he can tell that his son still has no idea who you are.
🍀"Well miss youve certainly caused a lot of trouble without trying haven't you..." it turns out your father didnt take kindly to your disappearence.. The italians have been threatening the whole country trying to find you...
🍀 Bonnie is surprised, but quietly pleased... Not just with himself for having a mafia princess fall in love with him, but also because hes in awe of your defiance, this trick youve played on everyone including him... He thought you were sweet and innocent but here you are, a mafia princess whos brought the whole underground crime scene in britain to a grinding halt.
🍀 "Do you hate me Bon? I lied to you... Could get you fuckin killed? I understand if you never want to..." "Don't finish that sentence little dove," him hushing you, hand holding your cheek, thumb to your lips, "Don't need to finish that sentence," kissing you softly is the only answer you need.
🍀The first time he sees you pull a gun on anyone the man in question is your own father. Hes come to bring you home but you wont go... Bonnie is there as a peaky boy, standing with Michael and Isaiah watching and keeping his mouth shut. He knows hes dead if anyone clocks who he is. Your father threatens to kill every gypsy boy he meets until he finds the one whose stolen you... But you stand your ground.
🍀 "i wont lose my daughter to a fucking pikey..." "Then tell people I'm dead," you turn the gun on yourself your eyes locked with your father, your burning with defiance, a truly formidable lass, "I'd sooner blow my own brains out than continue to call you my fucking father..."
🍀 And its the fact he cant tell if youre bluffing that makes him back down. He gives in but tells you that theres no backing out, he'll tell the whole world youre dead, but you are dead, to him, theres no coming back. But you don't back down.
🍀"Your girls a fuckin terror Bonnie lad, hope youre going to tame her," Isaiah laughing eith Michael after the whole affair. "I fucken won't," Bonnies pretty much stubborn about that, he loves your defiance and hes proud cause he knows Isaiah and Michael are secretly terrified of you. Women who don't fear death are the most formidable creatures.
🍀 "You're incredible dove, that was incredible..." "but... You promise me now, you'll never point one of these things at that pretty little head of yours ever again..."
Isaiah
🐀Definitely bitten off more than he can chew. He's in love with you before he even realises whats happened to him.
🐀Doesn't know what to do with himself because for all his arrogance and confidence, he knows a girl of mafia blood is so far out of his league.
🐀Youre in London because your father has business with Tommy Shelby, and your father refuses to travel to the shithole which is Birmigham
🐀You came along for the legal drinking, the shopping and to see what all the fuss about "English" men was...
🐀And you don't think much of any of them at first... Most have them are a little ugly, badly dressed, dirty, with funny accents... And Isaiah has a funny accent but, he's good looking, and he has the cocky nature of any american boy youve ever met.
🐀He gets tasked with chaperoning you much to your delight... Less to your delight you know that one of your fathers men is trailing you too, just to make sure nothing bad happens, that this Peaky Boy doesnt try anything funny with you.
🐀You find it all bitterly amusing, youre a woman, not a mouse. If this Peaky Boy wants to try anything funny with you, just let him try, its you who will see to it he doesn't get very far...
🐀Although the idea of getting up to no good with an english gangster, one your father hates... Well its appealing to say the least. You're a bit of a brat, used to getting your own way, used to doing as you please and facing little consequences later...
🐀So you suggest to your new peaky boy that you both lose your dads man, you ask him to take you through the back streets until your fathers men can't find you... And isaiah knows he shouldnt but hes sensed the mood youre in and he cant pass up the opportunity to go too far with you. He wants to get into trouble with you... He has a feeling that Mafia girls fuck harder, more dangerously.
🐀"You wanna get into trouble Peaky Boy? My father will kill you for this? Aren't you scared?" "Not fuckin scared of anyone me sweetheart," "Fine, do your worst Peaky Boy..."
🐀It doesnt last too long because you don't have much time but its hot and heavy and rough... And its the best you've ever had, maybe thats just the adrenaline of knowing youre up to know good, the adrenaline of risking someone elses life for your own pleasure...
🐀And you do get caught, you suppose if you were being honest with yourself then you'd always known you would be.
🐀You get caught with Isaiahs cock still inside you, he's fucking you against the wall and youre not even being that quiet about it... your fathers man goes to shoot at Isaiah but you get there first, your shot killing your fathers man in a second...
🐀Isaiah is stunned, almost drops you but he doesnt want to dissapoint you so he tightens his grip, hes scared too, youre in so much fucking trouble and if anyone finds out what just happened Tommy will kill him before your father does...
🐀"Don't go soft on me Peaky Boy I'm only just getting started..." you practically growl, grinding your hips into his, and Isaiah isnt about to let you go, so he channels is fear and his amazement into fucking you twice as hard, growling to you about how much trouble youre going to get him into.
🐀But obviously its fucking worth it.
🐀You make him take you shopping afterwards and you return to your father with so many pretty dresses and shoes. A new red lipstick too.
🐀He obviously wants to know what happened, why his man hasn't returned with you and you speak before Isaiah can...
🐀"oh did you have someone following me daddy? We didn't notice anyone? Did you Isaiah?" the boy cant believe what hes hearing right now, youre asking him to lie not just to your father, but his own boss too... Still he does, after that day hes sure hed do anything you asked him to.
🐀You also make up a little story of your own, about how you were threatened by a man, someone tried to disresepct your dignity, you tell him Isaiah took his eyes for the insult and your father is quite satisfied that Tommys boy can keep you safe... So next time you want to go out, your father makes the condition that Isaiah has to go with you.
🐀Which you're quite happy with.
🐀"Youre gonna be the death of me love,"
🐀 So much of the time youre the one causing problems, getting yourself into scraps, because youre used to being a mafia princess, no one back home would dare say a word to you but over here so many of the men don't understand who you are... You wont stand for their shit
🐀So Isaiah does end up taking peoples eyes for you... Most of the time however its you that does the killing. Youre a real violent little brat it doesnt take much for you to decide to pull that trigger...
🐀Isaiah hasnt told any of his mates about what the two of you get up to when you get eachother alone... Its difficult for him to keep this to himself, usually he'd be bragging to high heaven about laying a woman like you... But he's keeping quiet because he knows it'll be you who kills him if he speaks.
Michael
☘️Meets you in America when hes been sent away by tommy... Hes harbouring that bitterness towards his cousin when he finds himself in dealings with the mafia on his brothers behalf.
☘️His life in America is good... He might not be there of his own free will, he might not be allowed to come back, but hes making it work, hes a feared gangster, a powerful and dangerous man
☘️And hes starting to get ideas above his station... Hes met you several times, youre always in his speakeasies drinking, getting snowed up and demanding Shelby gin on the house, your name affords you everything you want after all
☘️And he thinks you're another one of those pretty, espensive things he'd like to add to his collection.
☘️Youd be a real status changer for him, he could use you to win his feud with Tommy, finally be more powerful than his cousin...
☘️ And you're attracted to the brooding English man who runs this part of the city... He does dealings with your father so you know hes a real player in this game, hes dangerous too... And perhaps the only man arrogant enough not to fear the barrel of your fathers gun.
☘️Youve been going to Michaels bars and acting out, getting too drunk and causing fights because you want to get his attention. Its a childish way to attract a man but you know men like Michael Gray, you know that what they want is a possession, something they can tame, put in its place. Teach to be obedient. They like the challenge and secretly they like it when a woman threatens their ego and misbehaves.
☘️And you're right, youve read him like a book... He approaches you one evening at the bar and well, hes stern, hes aggressive, hes almost... Almost fucking rude to you...
☘️ "Miss y/l/n I'd like a word..." "Take your pick Mr Gray, how about two, fuck... Off..." "Don't test me love... You're going to come back to my office with me now, youre going to come quietly and then we're going to talk... And we can talk nicely or you can keep up with whatever this childish little act is alright? But you're going to come with me and we're going to have a little chat alright about the kind of behaviour which is and isnt acceptable in my establishment... "
☘️"Who the fuck do you think you are Mr Gray... Do you have any idea who i am?" "I know youre a little mafia brat with no manners... Anything else?"
☘️ Drags you by the wrist into his office where he practically pushes you down into a chair.
☘️ Stands before you and actually lectures you about your behaviour... About how he isnt going to stand for it anymore...
☘️" So whatre you going to do about it Mr Gray?" youre so cheeky, a real brat, but youre being provocative too... You know what you want from him and as you speak you open your legs just enough to catch his attention.
☘️ "So youre a whore as well as a brat are you?" this actually shocks you, you flush a little but youre idignant and you hold your ground. "Is that what you'd like me to be Mr Gray?"
☘️ He's going to teach you to behave, one way or another... And the only way he manages to is by fucking you into submission... Thats the only way he can get you to behave yourself for him, the only way he can make you beg his forgiveness...
☘️ Outside of the bedroom though youre still a spoilt brat and he doesnt help the fact, he buys you gifts, courts you properly, makes all the right moves on both you and your father
☘️Until eventually your father is convincrd that marrying you off to Michael Gray is the best business move he could possibly make.
☘️ So youre handed over to him on a silver fucking platter and though you pretend to remain defiant "Dont think this means I'm going to behabe myself Mr Gray..." secretly youre thrilled, this is exactly what you wanted.
☘️You want him to take you back to england with him, you want to meet the infamous Tommy Shelby... And when he finally takes you "home" dont be surprised hes showing you off like a pretty piece of jewellery...
☘️And should he really be surprised when Tommy catches your eye, when you realise that there are men more rich, more powerful and more dangerous than Michael Gray for you to persue.
☘️Threatens you, "you fuckin touch my cousin you little brat, I'll kill you..." but this jealousy, this new passion in him turns you on and so you find yourself caught trying to balance two men. Youre being selfish, youre taking everything you want, no matter who gets hurt.
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