#Pyrrha had one job

[superiorsturgeon]

Rookie-Angel!Pyrrha: wow. Theres so much to being a guardian angel.

Angel: yup. Dont worry, you have the heart and spirit. You'll get there in no time.

RA!Pyrrha: Thank- hey, what's that commotion?

Angel: oh, that? Well, some Valkyrie and Angels are having a free for all to see who gets to collect the soul of the Rusted Knight. He's apparenly about to fall off a tree mid-battle soon.

RA!Pyrrha: oh ny! The Rusted Knight is real? That's Grand! I remember my mother reading me that story.... w-wait. He didnt die when he drank the poison? A-and he's about to d-die? And they're all....

Angel: Fighting over his soul, yeah. The Valkyrie claim their "little sis" on Remnant called dibs already, but we Angels know the Knight, his family has fought our fight for generations and he's even fought at the side of the God of Light's champion.

RA!Pyrrha: ooo-oh, wow! The truth is stranger than any legend. Still, i hope someone who will be kind to him wins..... dying in the line of duty still hurts.....

Angel: oh, they'll be 'kind' alright. This group is mostly just thirsty thots looking to score with a new arrival. Bah, i say we should just send a reaper spirit for this Arc dude, plenty of time to make a pass on him later.

RA!Pyrrha: *twitch* what.

Angel: oh yeah, that wasn't in the legend, right? His real name is Jaune Arc or something. I read the file; some time travel bullshit and a stable time loop happened. It's kinda-

RA!Pyrrha: It's a free for all, correct? (Hard eyes)

Angel: uh

RA!Pyrrha: And the heavenly blacksmith is over there, right?!? (Flexing muscles, swords rattling in the distance)

Angel: uhhhhhhhhh

RA!Pyrrha: And im ALLOWED TO GUIDE SOULS AS WELL, CORRECT? (Wings extend, a circle of floating swords forming a halo)

Angel: y-es? (Sweating)

Angel-Of-War!Pyrrha: (sweetly) oh good!

(Her eyes narrow)

AoW!Pyrrha: word of advice. Don't get in my way-HEY, I HAVE A PRIOR CLAIM, THOTS. BACK OFF!!!!!!

Angel: *gulps*

Jaune: *blinking, lying on the ground where he fell* Oooohhhhhh…I don’t think my aura will save me this time…

????: It’s okay…I’ve got you…

Jaune: *blinks and squints* P…Pyrrha…? Is that you…?

Pyrrha: *cradling Jaune in her lap and tenting her red-feathered wings over him* Hello again, Jaune! You had quite a nasty fall!

Jaune: *looks around and sees piles of beaten/bruised angels and loose feathers everywhere* Wha…what happened…? Am I dead?

Pyrrha: *brushes Jaune’s long hair back* It was close, but I saved you just in time!

Jaune: What happened to all the other angels?

Pyrrha: Oh, well…it turns out sometimes there’s…competition…when it comes to being a guardian angel! 😡

Pyrrha: Luckily I was able to convince everyone else that I was the one for you! ☺️

Jaune: *looks back up into Pyrrha’s eyes and reaches up to touch her cheek* I can’t believe I get to see you again…! 🥹

Jaune: I like your horns and black wings!

Pyrrha: …my what…?

Pyrrha: *looks at her wings which have turned black* 😧

Pyrrha: *feels for her halo and finds two curving horns* 😨

Pyrrha: …Uh-oh…!

[gideonisms]

we don't think enough about the fact that pyrrha dve had to get up every day and go to her construction job. She was mourning the last polycule while starting the next one (btw everyone in both polycules was doomed to die including pyrrha herself) but she literally still had to get up and go to her shifts... she was on that minimum wage grind the whole time... however much credit we give her we don't give her enough

[n1ghtwr1ter]

At the end of my latest TLT reread and it’s been physically painful attempting to read the last 40+ pages of Nona. Like, the short shrift that Gideon/Kiriona gets given by the people in the story…the theoretical good guys who honestly only see her as a thing, as a means to an end with an inconvenient dead soul attached to it… It makes me want to rip my own heart out of my chest.

Nobody has cared about Gideon her whole life. Most people, in fact, if they remembered about her at all, went out of their way to tell her how much they wished she didn’t exist. In the final chapters of Gideon, she finally gets the thing she’s been desperate for her whole life: somebody telling her that they need her, they care that she exists, and they badly want her to go on doing it. This allows her to make peace with the prospect that at the ripe old age of 18, she needs to die so that that person can go on living and living and living, using the castrated remnants of her soul as fuel to do so. Not a great way to go, but at least Gideon would get to be useful to somebody, would get to be remembered for something.

And then she wakes up in the wrong body, and finds out that her sacrifice - her attempt to be useful in the most selfless way possible, in that her self will no longer exist - has been rejected. And not only that, but the person she tried to give herself to - the one who was supposed to care about her - went to extreme lengths to make completely sure that she no longer remembered about Gideon.

She literally cut Gideon out of her brain.

And now, drifting along in the worst sort of half life where she’s inhabiting her body but it’s no longer really hers, in very obvious fashion - there’s holes in it, her heart is missing, and it’s got her shitty father’s handprints all over it (not even touching how much of a violation that is), indelibly - she finally meets back up with the small group of people who could theoretically be relied upon to be glad to see her again.

But then the one who was supposed to care about her most tries to kiss her (massively OOC for Harrow), and turns out to not even be there - it’s some weird baby inhabiting her body, and doing a really shit job of it too. The rest of them won’t stop talking about how they need her to break into the Tomb - as if she was just another key, same as the ones they worked together to acquire in Canaan House, just bigger and more inconvenient - and/or how they both fucked and killed her mom, who also (surprise, surprise) wished that Gideon had never existed, but saw her as a thing that needed to be done for the good of the mission.

Ultimately, they all make it abundantly clear - Palamedes, Camilla, Pyrrha, and especially Nona, all these people who are supposed to be kind and good and right - that they would prefer she wasn’t there. That it just be her body, with no Gideon attached - at least not Gideon the way she is now, broken and rejected and miserable. They would all far have preferred that she not have her own inconvenient thoughts and feelings and desires and impulses - that she just be inanimate and let the important people, the grown ups, get things done.

They wish she didn’t exist. Same as everybody else in her life, save one, and now she’s left wondering whether Harrow really meant it at all. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have left Gideon to Kiriona’s fate.

And honestly? Really, truly? I know everybody in the fandom loves Pal and Cam and Nona and Pyrrha, but in the end I couldn’t give less of a shit about them. They are fucking side characters, and as intriguing as Nona has been from a worldbuilding standpoint, I ultimately resent having been forced to read 400+ pages of filler bullshit about fucking side characters. I am a butch, and I’m here for my sarcastic, loving, angry, vulnerable, forgiving, and yes, inconvenient sword butch. I’m here for Gideon. But Gideon has been fridged for the last two books of the series in which she is supposed to be a, if not the, main character.

And it feels like almost nobody else in the fandom feels the same way, which, fine. I’m used to that. I’m also used to being told I’m projecting; and I’m used to being told that I’m inconvenient too, in my thoughts and my opinions and the mere fact of my existence. I spent the first eighteen years of my life being told I was inconvenient. Yet another point of overidentification with Gideon.

But in case anybody still thinks that Nona proves that Gideon was an asshole all along, think about all of the above. Think about how it would make you feel to come back from not just death but from the erasure of your existence, something you chose in order to save the life of someone you loved, and be told that you’re inconvenient. Think about how you’d feel if you’d been told all your life that it would be better for everyone if you didn’t exist. And then tell me that Kiriona isn’t in the right and that I should give a rat’s ass what happens to literally anybody else.

It’s Kiriona Hours up in this House, butches. We’ve spent long enough caring about people who would prefer we weren’t around. For once in our entire lives we were told we were important; we were told we mattered; we were told we were the main character. We were going to, if not get the girl and save the world, at least get to do something real, something important, something like being the hero.

But that’s over now; we’re back to being wrong and bad and inconvenient thanks to the simple fact of our existence. So it’s time to embrace it. Let’s be a little shit. Let’s be kind of a dick. Let’s have our own agenda, let’s play our cards close to our heartless chest, let’s allow our circle of empathy to contract to ourselves and maybe one more person. That’s where I’m at right now. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

[howlingday]

Ruby: ...

Ruby: ...

Ruby: ...

Jaune: Ruby, we've been walking for five hours-

Ruby: I KNOW WE'VE BEEN WALKING FOR FIVE HOURS!

Yang: Damn, Ruby! Harness your inner Weiss and chill!

Jaune: Yeah, Ruby! You've been walking just as long as we have, so don't go snapping at us!

Ruby: Well, I'M sorry, Jaune, but it's bad enough that Zwei took my spot in the front, but I'm still on edge after reliving that HORRIBLE NIGHT AT BEACON!

Jaune: Oh, right, the horrible night you had where PYRRHA DIED!

Yang: HOOOLY FUCK! WHAT DID I MISS?!

Ruby: Hey, Pyrrha died in front of me, Jaune. You don't get to play that card.

Yang: SERIOUSLY, WHAT IN THE FUCK?!

Ruby: Cinder. Dark hair. Fire powers. Killed Pyrrha. Taking her mom's body to the promised land.

Yang: ...Oh my god, why am I following you guys?

Zwei: Actually, you're following me. I can smell Seen-der and that Say-lem body. She's in desperate need of multiple bath times... They're about an hour ahead~!

Ruby: YOU SAID THAT THREE HOURS AGO!

Zwei: I meant dog hours.

Penny: It's fine, guys! Besides, time is weird. Like, how can a quarter be past seven?

Jaune: Oh my god, there is something wrong with you...

Ruby: Jaune! There is nothing wrong with Penny!

Jaune: Except denial! Because little miss perfect here doesn't believe she's OBVIOUSLY A MAIDEN!

Penny: (Gasps) YOU THINK I'M PERFECT~?!

Jaune: Oh my fucking god...

Zwei: We're here!

Ruby: Thaaank you~!

Zwei: We just have to cross THESE RUINS...

Ruby: ...Well, that doesn't sound so bad-

Penny: What's your name~?

Jaune: NOT NOW!

Ruby: Don't worry, guys~! I've got this~!

Jaune: Ruby, you don't got this.

Ruby: HUNTRESS... BLADE!

Penny: Good job~! That's why you're my number one huntress~!

Ruby: Well, at ease, ma'am~.

Jaune: STOP FLIRTING!

Penny: Uh-oh~! Looks like somebody's arms are broken~!

Jaune: LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE SHOULD HEAL MEEE!

Penny: OUT OF AURA~.

Nuckelavee: (Groans)

Penny: Oh, Ruby! We should retreat!

Ruby: What, like a coward? BECAUSE A HUNTRESS NEVER RUNS FROM A FIGHT! Right, Jaune?! ...Jaune?

[linkman447]

Jaune Arc The Crossing Gaurd

Jaune: well come along kids lets have a safe and fun day.

Kids: yes Mr. Jaune.

after the kids cross one of their mothers comes over.

mom: so Jaune you still with that red headed slut woman.

Jaune: you mean my wife, yes.

mom: aw darn it.

back a home.

Jauen: you know pyrrha i didnt like this job at first but its been great.

Pyrrha pregnant: oh thats lovely jaune.

Jaune: ya the kids are nice and their mothers are real friendly.

Pyrrha visibly annoyed: oh really now.

Jaune: ya one of them jokingly asked if i was still with you, i think she was just concerned about the baby.

Pyrrha warping all the silverware in the kitchen: o-oh t-thats most likely the case dear (now i know i got pregnancy brain but i cant kill civilians).

Jaune: ya but when i was walking the kids home she was really insistent that i come inside for a drink, but i had my thermos you lovingly prepared for me this morning.

Pyrrha smiles kissing her husband: (shes so dead).

[sofipitch]

One thing that was really fun about Nona was it's commitment to unreliable narration as seen through a child. Nona is perceptive and clues in on a lot more than others want her to know, yet there are hints of shit going on that Nona doesn't really get. Like some of it becomes plot relevant so you do get answers but I'm talking about the stuff we don't get to see again, like what all Camilla and Palamedes' night missions entailed. If they are trying to save necromancers, did they? And where would they put the escapees? I still wonder why Pyrrha had the job she did and if that was also something important. The fact that Pyrrha was maybe fucking Cam and Pal off screen. Same with a lot of details about New Rho, why was the building Nona lived in so bad, why shouldn't you leave the house without a jacket and mask, etc etc. New Rho itself is a bleak wasteland where you can't buy a lot of food but who cares bc Nona doesn't like most food anyways. I'm OBSESSED with the way we find out BOE is burning necromancers alive is through children who are attending public executions, debating if they helped kill someone the same way you might debate if someone actually did a cartwheel. These are all things Nona takes for granted, as long as her loved ones are safe, they don't register as noteworthy, that's just how things are, right? I have so many questions but Nona can answer none of them but she can tell me if Noodle was a good boy today

[novankenn]

He's a ... THE Super-Model!?!

Pyrrha and Weiss were sitting cat-walk side both looking rather bored as female and male models strutted about before them showing off the most recent "advances" in couture fashion, amid the barrage of camera flashes and polite clapping.

Pyrrha: (whispering) Remind me why we're here?

Weiss: (whispering) Our publicists decided we needed to be seen, so they chose this gala.

Pyrrha: (whispering) This is BORING. I would have preferred stayed in the dorms with Jaune...

Weiss: (whispering) Why didn't you? It's not like you HAD to be here.

Pyrrha: He had another "job" and I didn't feel like sitting around alone.

Weiss: Well thank you for being here. It's always more enjoyable to be at these types of events with a friend.

The room grew quiet, as the MC, dressed in a very fashionable black suit and tie stepped out onto the runway.

MC: Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for attending, and as a thank you we have arranged for a special showing of a single piece from the Adel Sensual Business Collection!

CLAPPING

Weiss: Adel? You don't think...

Pyrrha: Who else could it be?

A few moments later Coco Adel the second year huntress-in-training and Beacon's resident fashionista stepped onto the runway, with a mic in hand. Stepping off to the left side on a raised platform making the cat-walk completely unobscructed.

Coco: So... Adel Fashions has a SPECIAL treat to close out this little semi-private showing. Showing off our selection of our "Sensual Seduction Office Line"... the Enigma...

Coco: The one and only JA!!!

WILD CLAPPING and SHOUTS OF EXCITEMENT!!!

As the music continued to play, out from behind the curtain stepped a figure that was WELL KNOWN to Pyrrha and Weiss...

Pyrrha / Weiss: JAUNE!!!!

Jaune strode down the catwalk with perfect poise. HIs outfit definitely bordered upon the feminine side. Dressed in a purple-black Blazer over top of an off-white-cream blouse with such a deep plunging neckline that it showed off his navel, which was tucked in to a pair of curve clinging purple-black business casual pants, cynched about his waist with a pair of entwined off-white-cream belts. the whole ensemble ended with a pair of gleaming black heelless ballerina boots.

Weiss: How??? He trips over his own feet in sneakers!!!

Pyrrha: ...

Jaune's features where flawlessly accentuated with make-up, and his normally wild blond mop was heavily gelled and slicked backwards. Pyrrha 's heart slammed with in her chest and unable to resist, she rose from her chair...

Weiss: PYRRHA!!! NO!!!

Weiss in desperate act to prevent the Four Time Mistralian Champion from causing a scene, grabbed her by the pony tail and yanked her backwards...

Pyrrha: But... but...

Weiss: I get it! I do! I want to do it as well...

Pyrrha glared at Weiss.

Weiss: ... BUT we are NOT Blake and Deery!!!

Jaune continued his confident and inspiring stroll along the catwalk with effortless ease and perfect poise.

Weiss: (whimpering) I wish you'd be open to share...

Pyrrha: (hissing) You had your chance...

(Master Episode List)

[ryuto12]

Sometimes I think it’s like a good thing Summer and Raven weren’t around to teach Ruby and Yang cause they were both already pretty cracked by the age of 17 and 15

Like we’ve never seen Summer fight and until last year didn’t even know her weapon and all we’ve seen from Tai was some sparring with his kid but like

We’ve seen Qrow fight quite a bit, and we’ve seen in a whole total of TWO fights how broken Raven’s abilities are

Like we just gotta assume Tai scales relative to Qrow and Raven and make the decent assumption Summer was relative as well if not better than the other three cause she had chosen one silver eyed plot armor and shit

Like Ruby at fifteen was out here competing with kids leagues ahead of her, like Blake the only one with real experience, Weiss the expert on Dust trained by an Atlesian Specialist and Pyrrha who was just a bad bitch consistently

And Yang at seventeen had not only proven capable of at least pretending to box Neo, fighting solo in the tournament, and fucking up some of the best Atlesian tech

Like if Summer and Raven were around than Yang and Ruby would’ve been beating ass daily they would’ve had Salem packed up in a day Pyrrha would not have been the talk of the school

Like two years from that point after gaining some real experience and basically learning on the job they’ll kick the Ace-Ops asses who are supposed to be the best of the best but imagine if Summer and Raven had also been teaching them

Summer apparently died or got fucked or whatever fighting Salem enough so that Salem remembers her ass to the extent of ominously mentioning her and Yang like ten years later will titty punch Salem that shit is already a familial skill imagine if the moms never pulled their covert mission

[palaceofpassion]

Household Arc.

The team dynamic was tense at the start. Are things better now? Are there any recreational activities the team likes to do together? Any activities they like to do with just Jaune?

"Uh, define better?" Jaune chuckled quietly to himself, a rag wrapped around his head while dressed in rather tight fit clothing. His hands held tightly around the broom he was currently using to sweep. "Well... everyone's getting a long better. Pyrrha doesn't seem to hate me? I think..." He wasn't sure, she was really hesitant to talk to him at first, but then things kind of evened out.

"Surprisingly, Weiss and I have been getting along better." Honestly, that had been the hardest part of everything, or at least what he thought would be. She'd warmed up to him pretty easily after he'd made tea for her a few times, and he'd just, well listened to her. It probably helped that he wasn't falling heads over heels for her, that would have definitely given her a horrible impression. After all, just be himself, as his mom always said. He could imagine, if he was a student instead, that he would have made an idiot of himself, but since it was a job he had to take it more seriously.

"May's coming around, she's more willing to talk now. And as for Jess? Uhm... yeah, I think things are getting better. For her though... I don't know if that's the right way of putting it. She has a hard time with others in general. May doesn't like crowds, and chooses to be quiet, but Jess, there is something there. And I'm not willing to pry into it." He shook his head.

"More importantly, Pyrrha's hit it off with Valkyrie. The boisterous girl couldn't just leave her alone, and since Ren and I always talk, she was bound to head over here one day." He laughed a little bit, before putting the broom away and dumping the excess dust in the trashcan.

[rachetmath]

Jaune: *pacing back and forth*

Writer: *scared* Um.

Jaune: Let me ask you something. Do you get off on me suffering?

Writer: What? No. No. No, we don’t.

Jaune: Really? S-so—so w-w-why have me kill Penny? Like I really could have saved her. I really could have healed her. Like what are we doing? But no, I listened to a girl who had a human body for the first time and was having a dying experience which she probably wasn’t thinking straight.

Writer: …. ….

Jaune: Then I don’t even mention her and Ruby was going through it, acting like she killed her.

Writer: I mean she technically did kill her.

Jaune: Why didn’t you let Ruby do it then? Why did I have to go through all that crap?

Writer: Jaune your a knight.

Jaune: I also had a rabbit hoody. Plus didn’t Ruby pick a knight piece? She is TECHNICALLY a knight. You all could have had me as the late bunny.

Writer: How does that fit into your character?

Jaune: Hm. Beacon wasn’t I late to save Pyrrha? Mistral, wasn’t I think irrationally to where Weiss almost died. Argus, I was close to getting my friends killed because I was lack of leadership skills.

Writer: …. ….

Jaune: The heir always arrives late because he neglects his responsibility and doesn’t do his job. Haven’t I been neglecting some of my duties to almost where no one has complete faith in me?

Writer: …. …

Jaune: Plus, again, Ruby has silver eyes. She could have been training with those and her scythe skills. You can also determine what age you want her to be.

Writer: Okay Jaune chill. We just thought it was best for your character.

Jaune: So having me go back in time. I was stuck in the Ever After for years and couldn’t find a home until RWBY was there. Letting me get poisoned by Alyx. And getting no kind of skill set was good. Isn’t my character all about growth and change? So why does it feel like I haven’t changed? I’m back to square one again.

Writer: Yeah…

Jaune: y'all come on. First, you had Tyrian having some interest in me which might as well be a prison joke right now. Then you had Vine say something about extending my aura which is irrelevant considering y'all wanted Ren to have attention. Y'all had Harriet grieving over Clover which I could have been related to her on, you know, because I lost Pyrrha. And I let Emerald join my team because Oscar says so. There was a lot of shit I could have done. But no, killing Penny was important.

Writer: …

Jaune: Ya’ll had Ruby and Salem in the same kingdom, Salem drops the Summer bomb, and instead of having Ruby figure that shit out by seeing her you had her sidelined.

Writer: She was protecting Nora and Penny.

Jaune: She could have left and gone help in the war. Silver-eyed warrior timing and left Weiss in charge. Don't give me that shit.

Writer: Okay but -

Jaune: Back to what's important, why was James her highest priority over Salem? I mean at least he was protecting his citizens. Salem was trying to kill everybody. How was she not Ruby's target? Why didn't you leave James to me? That would have hyped up Penny’s death way better if you wanted me to kill her!

Writer: You wouldn't stand a chance against James?

Jaune: I almost outsmarted the Atlas military with my plan.

Writer: James is stronger and smarter than you. You are no fighter

Jaune: Exactly fighting for me is the last resort. I am a strategist! Not an all-out fighter! My job is to adapt to situations and operate within the chaos!

Writer: … I mean-

Jaune: I also have emotional intelligence. And I’m not stupid. Are you telling me I wouldn't see through or question some of James’s actions if given a chance?

Writer: Well Ruby was trapped in an electric barrier.

Jaune: Gravity shield. So Nora didn't need to be absent in the fight.

Writer: Shit.

Jaune: Let's go to the Ever After.

Writer: Come on man. If it wasn't for you team RWBY wouldn't have made it out. Also, you were going through the worst.

Jaune: F team Rwby.

Writer: What could you have done better than Ruby?

Jaune: The same shit but better. I would have traded my armor for Yang’s arm. My sword for an audience with the Red King. Pyrrha scarf for the antidote. All are a part of my identity. Not to mention while having my friend's gun on me which she rejected after keeping it safe and not destroying it.

Writer: …

Jaune: Alyx’s dagger, I could have used it by probably seeing her memories and figuring out what happened to her and how to get home. And, mainly, as a means of self-defense.

Writer: But Yang, Blake, and Weiss-

Jaune: Speaking of them why did they prioritize me over Ruby? And why did Ruby need help from a god when her issues were minor compared to mine? I mean even if she spent years alone, talking with her team would have been enough for her. And probably for the best considering Ruby is her team's sister, friend, and leader.

Writer: … …

Jaune: Like seriously, I was messed up mentally. Penny whose death I might as well be keeping a secret, from everybody. I mean if you killed one of your allies to save the world, wouldn’t you feel morally messed up? Meanwhile, my team was nowhere on site. I don't know Weiss, Blake, and Yang like that, so opening up to either of them would have been a challenge. Especially Ruby. Not to forget but my friends were in a whole different kingdom by themselves and I don't know what happened to them. They could've been dead for all I knew. So my worries would have been expeditiously high!

Writer: Oh God.

Jaune: And since we are on Penny, what happened to her body?!

Writer: … … We don't need to discuss that.

Jaune: Funny, because of the way the Jabberwocky was looking at Ruby I can make a guess what happened to her.

Writer: Please don't.

Jaune: Then we have the Cat, my enemy and opposite to my personality., He manipulates my friends and controls them like puppets. Neo would have had a field day with me too. After all, Pyrrha died because I couldn't stop her. Penny died because I had zero options to save her. Ozpin died because I failed to do my job. Ironwood died because of me and Ruby. And Harriet told me about Clover so I know he’s dead.

Writer: …

Jaune: And after all that bullshit you just gave us nothing. No new looks. Now new weapons I could have used. We might as well have been through a filler arc. Oh, and you know what, you could have finally given me a backstory. Something that finally ties my character together.

Writer: *tears falling* Jaune, please.

Jaune: *weapon drawn* You f*** with me for the last time. Now. DIE!

Chopper, Steven, and Orihime: No!

Orihime: Shoten kessun I reject.

Writer: *protected*

Chopper: *Goes Arm point and restrains Jaune*

Steven: *Traps them both in a bubble*

Windy: Jaune please calm down.

Jaune: Nah I'm killing them. They got me f*** up.

Steven: We’re really going to need therapy for you buddy.

Jaune: I don't need therapy, I want them dead.

Sakura: Chopper.

Chopper: Come, buddy. They are not worth it.

Jaune: Let me at least punch them.*screams in rage*

Sakura: *stares at the new staff*

Viz media writer: …

Sakura: Look just go easy on him. Please? Just let him be useful in other areas. Don't give him more trauma.

Viz media writer: You must know how he feels.

Sakura: Yes. Yes, I do.

Steven: And so do I.

[elfieafterdark]

Pyrrha Dve hasn't ever been a perfect woman, let alone a perfect person. Her mid-twenties weren't exactly spent at her best.

She had a few nasty habits, and a decent enough job to fuel them. Smoking, womanizing, and of course, drinking.

That last one was how she ended up at this hospital, sitting there all uncomfortably in the middle of the night. Fidgeting with her big hands, unable to fully sit still but lacking anything actionable to do.

She had, remarkably, fallen asleep at some point. The nurses kept telling her she could go home, they'd handle it, and she just kept staying.

What was she supposed to do? Leave the kid? Not an option.

It's gotta be morning by now. Caught in this in between place, with all the beeping and the noise. She can't even remember finding the kid, not really.

She just remembered showing up at the hospital with the kid.

She couldn't take it anymore, she finally flagged down a nurse, and asked, "how's the kid doing?" The nurse, who had started her shift at some point recently, judging by the significantly reduced bags under her eyes, was infinitely patient.

Once she knew what Pyrrha was talking about, she happily led her to the infant. Same as before, same as when she found her... Just, more tubes. Tubes and wires connected to the little baby.

"She's a little trooper. Aren't you sweetie?" The nurse asks, and the little baby coos. Pyrrha stared at the infant, at her dark skin, at her little tuft of red hair, at her golden eyes.

"What's with all the hardware?"

"Heart and oxygen monitors," explains the nurse, letting the baby grab one of her fingers as she talks, "We've also got her on TPN, that's total parent nutrition by the way." She added before Pyrrha could ask, "Just making sure that she's okay. God damn though, I can't believe someone would leave her in a box on the side of the road."

"Is that what happened?"

"That's what you told us, yes." The nurse confirmed. The baby gurgled, looking around at this strange world and clearly finding her tiny self utterly perplexed by it.

"Jesus." Pyrrha said. The baby looked her way, then smiled and reached, though she lacked the fine motor skills to properly do so.

Pyrrha offered a finger, and the baby grabbed one. Something happened then, to Pyrrha Dve, something involving her heart, and that heart collapsing in on itself.

"What..." Her words were thick and slow to roll off the tongue, "What happens now?" The nurse grabs a clipboard and starts writing.

"Well, now CPS gets involved. They try and find her parents, though something tells me they won't succeed there."

"bahhh." The baby added, rather unhelpfully for poor Pyrrha's heart.

"And when they can't find her birth parents, she's going to go into foster care." The nurse continued. Pyrrha straightened her posture at that.

"And, if I wanted... I mean, is me... an option?" As if expecting it, the nurse brandished a piece of paper with a phone number and some basic instructions written on it.

"Give them a call, they can get you all the literature. You'll have to be evaluated of course, but, I think she likes you."

Pyrrha looked back at the baby, the baby whose birth parents abandoned her. Left her to literally die. Pyrrha's never been so glad that Mercy convinced her to walk home rather than take a cab, by way of stealing the cab with Augustine and driving off without her.

"Hey kiddo." Pyrrha tried, and found it not unpleasant to say. "Uh, you got a good grip."

"Ahhh." Said the baby.

"Yeah," Pyrrha said, trying not to choke on how fucking precious this little life is, and how close it was to being snuffed out. "Me too."

Pyrrha Dve was going to make some changes, she decided it then and there. She was going to make some calls, she was going to get her act together.

She was gonna be a mom, the best mom she could be. And it all started by nearly tripping over a cardboard box on the side of the highway.

[superiorsturgeon]

Dragon!Pyrrha: Guardian

Knight!Jaune: *skipping through a field of flowers* 🥰

Dragon!Pyrrha: *holding knight’s hand and skipping along* 🥰

Knight!Jaune: *pauses* 🫤

Dragon!Pyrrha: What’s wrong, beloved?

Knight!Jaune: I just feel as if I’m forgetting something important…😕

Dragon!Pyrrha: …that’s odd, I was thinking the same thing! 🤔

Back at Dragon!Pyrrha’s former lair…

Princess!Weiss: Hello? Brave knight? Dragon kidnapper? Is anyone there?

Next: Renora

[kazzettes]

Ladybug Week 2023 Day 1, Oct. 23rd: College AU

With a Freezerburn guest appearance.

This one's for all my fellow Ladybug fans. (All, like, 2 of them).

When I sat down to draw this my brain went on a tangent and created its own full-on fanfiction, lol.

Basically, Ruby is this super talented freshman in the engineering department who's been gaining the attention of all the professors since she enrolled. She singlehandedly became the lead of the Science and Technology committee, which both she and her buddy Penny attend.

Yang is on a sport scholarship and is part of the Volleyball team together with Blake. She and her buddy Pyrrha are the aces of the team. She's very talented at the sport despite not seeming to have any aspirations to pursue it as a career…? Like Ruby she's also enrolled in engineering.

Blake is the Visa student- her parents saved money their entire lives to send her to a good university in a first world country. She joined the volleyball team with the goal to save money with a scholarship, but ended up enjoying being part of the team. She's chronically broke and isn't legally allowed to work due to her Visa status, but her buddy Sun hooks her up with some shady jobs that she takes from time to time to earn some cash. She met Ruby through Yang, who started inviting her out for lunch to discuss their shared favorite books series. Blake only agreed at first for the free food but eventually ended up enjoying and seeking out Ruby's company.

Weiss is this turbo-preppy model student and the president of the Student Organization's Committees. She had some friction with Ruby at first due to their clashing personalities but they eventually grew to respect each other. She met Yang through Ruby and was immediately smitten. She's suspicious of Blake and thinks she and her buddy Sun are bad influences on Ruby.

[howlingday]

Babysitting Duty

Jaune: That's Uncle Waylon. He was always really nice to me.

Pyrrha: He looks... nice.

Jaune: Not really. His condition makes him less and less human by the day. Then again, it could be how he's treated in Gotham that makes him this way.

Pyrrha: Oh, and, um, what about him?

Jaune: That's Uncle Penguin. Mom said he wasn't allowed to babysit anymore after last time.

Pyrrha: What happened last time?

Jaune: The newspapers said it was a hostage situation and a lot of police officers died.

Pyrrha: That's horrible!

Jaune: Yeah, it was.

Pyrrha: And who's this?

Jaune: That's-

Ren: Uh, what are you two looking at?

Jaune: It's an old scrapbook my mom made of all my babysitters.

Ren: It looks more like an archive of wanted posters.

Jaune: ...Huh, that would explain the stamp inside the binder that says, "Property of the Gotham City Police Department".

--------------------------------------------------

Harley: Well, if Alfred is gonna be out, why not get a babysitter? We both know you can afford it.

Bruce: It's not that simple. Hiring a teenager for a one-night job at Wayne Manor is more suspicious than I'd like.

Harley: Well, if you really feel that way, I can always call up somebody for an old favor. You think Zsaszy would charge extra after an hour?

Bruce: ...

Harley: Yeah, you're right. He'd probably tally up more trouble than he's worth.

Bruce: That's not funny.

Harley: Oh, like you've ever had a sense of humor.

Harley: But you're right. Zsasz isn't going anywhere near my little Jauney.

[moistmailman]

Role Swap AU

*Team PRAN (Pyrrha Ren Arc Nora (pronounced as Persian)) is visiting the arc residents during break*

Jaune: Okay, before we meet anyone in my family, just a fair warning. My mother can be……scary, so I’ve been told at least.

Pyrrha: Describe scary.

Jaune: Imagine a grizzly bear with the sentience of a battle tactician and the demeanor of a serial killer.

Pyrrha:……that’s a colorful way to describe your mother.

Jaune: Those are my father’s words.

Pyrrha:….that’s a colorful way to describe your wife.

Jaune: Just don’t let her intimidate you is all. She’ll soften up to you after a while.

Nora: How long is a while?

Jaune: Well, my father told me she first hugged me when I was around 3 so…..

Everyone:……..

Pyrrha: I-is it too late to go back to beacon?

Jaune: Yes. Look, she’s not that bad. I’m pretty sure everyone overexaggerates when they describe her. So let’s calm down.

Pyrrha: O-okay then. If you say so.

*Jaune knocks on the door*

Jaune: Oh, also try not to show weakness in front of her.

Pyrrha: What?!

Jaune: She has a keen sense of sensing weakness in people. Like a 6th sense.

Pyrrha: B-But I have a keen ability look feeble and pathetic though! She’ll single me out immediately! It’ll be like grade school again with Becky!

Jaune: Nonesense, you’ll be fine. Just calm down and relax.

Pyrrha: B-but-

*the door abruptly opens revealing a tall muscular woman that towers over Pyrrha*

Pyrrha: *audibly gulps*

Jaune’s Mother, nodding: Jaune.

Jaune, nodding back: Mother.

Jaune’s mother: Didn’t have any trouble getting here, did you?

Jaune: Nope. It was a breeze.

Jaune’s mother: *grunts*

Everyone:……

Jaune’s mother: So…..which one of you is my son’s partner in Beacon?

Everyone:……..

Jaune, awkwardly coughing: Uh…mother, this is my partner, Pyrr- Pyrrha? *Jaune turns to his right to see his partner’s absent* Pyrrha, where she go?

Ren: She’s kinda koala hugging your back and trying to hide from *looks at Mrs. Arc*….no one in particular.

Jaune, gently scooting Pyrrha towards his mother: T-this is my partner, mother.

Pyrrha, sweating nervously: H-h-hello, Mrs, Arc. I-it’s uhm….it’s nice to meet you.

Jaune’s Mother: *staring intently at Pyrrha*

Pyrrha, awkwardly: M-my name’s Pyrrha…but you already knew that since Jaune just told you it. *awkwardly chuckles*

Jaune’s mother: *still staring*

Pyrrha:……m-my last name is Nikos, by the way. I don’t think Jaune told you- *looks at Jaune* You didnt t-tell her my last name, right? Uhm, just my first name? Or did you tell her my last name too? Am I making a fool of myself ? I-I’ll just be quiet now…..

Jaune’s mother: *stares*

Pyrrha: *sweating nervously*

Jaune’s mother:…..so Jaune, how’s is this……Pyrrha of yours as a leader?

Jaune, smiling: She’s great. An amazing leader. Ozpin even say she’s naturally born to lead.

Jaune’s mother: Really, that’s a lot of praises then. I’m sure Ozpin must’ve had great reasons to choose her as a leader over an Arc then.

*the atmosphere turns abruptly violent*

Jaune, awkwardly: I-I-I’m uhm…I’m sure he did. W-wouldn’t be the headmaster of Beacon Academy if he wasn’t good at his job, right?

Jaune’s mother:….right. So, Pyrrhan-

Pyrrha: I-it’s uhm Pyrrha.

Jaune’s mother: If you and your team have been in the forest for 2 weeks, and everyone is running on 4 hours of sleep, and not having a meal in 16 hours while one of your teammates is incapacitated from an injury as you’re surrounded by Grimm, what will be your first action as a leader to get your team to safety?

Pyrrha, head spinning: Uh……c-could you maybe repeat that?

Jaune’s mom: No.

Pyrrha, awkwardly swallowing: Uh….well, I would need to know what kinda Grimm we’re dealing with firstly.

Jaune’s Mom: Oh?

Pyrrha: Y-yeah, cause different kinds grimms would need different plans on defeating them. I would also need to know who was injured and how. J-just to know who I have to fight at the moment and how severe the injury is.

Jaune’s mom:…….interesting answer.

Pyrrha: I-I answered?

Jaune’s mom: *walks into the house* You guys can come in now.

Pyrrha: D-did….did I do good?

Jaune: She’s…..reluctantly okay with your answer. Glad we managed to meet her during one of your good moods.

Pyrrha: T-this is a good mood for her?!

Jaune: Is it not obviously?

Ren: I thought she was going to turn Pyr-Pyr into a shish kebab at first. From her gaze alone honestly.

Jaune: Well she didn’t though. So this is good news. Let’s meet everyone else in the house then, okay?

*the team walks into the Arc house to be met with a tall blond man with a beard*

Jaune, nodding: Father.

Jaune’s father: Jaune. So, which one of these lucky ladies fell for your arc charm already?

Jaune, blushing madly: WILL YOU QUIT IT ALREADY?!

Jaune’s father: You’re the second eldest in the house! Saphron already gave me a grandson! When will it be your turn!? I have so much extra money to spend on grand babies!

Jaune, blushing even harder: OH MY GODS! SHUT UP ALREADY!

Pyrrha, whispering to Nora: What’s happening?

Nora: I’m not too sure but I think this is a normal occurrence for this house hold. So nothing to worry about.

Pyrrha, nodding: Oh, okay…..exactly why does he think Jaune would go for a girl like me though? Is he trying to make me feel better for the way his wife treated me?

Jaune, in mid rant: EVERYTIME I EVEN LOOK IN THE DIRECTION OF A GIRL YOURE ALWAYS THERE PLAYING MATCHMAKER FOR ME! I CANT STAND IT!

Jaune’s father: Well I’m sorry for trying to help! You should be thanking me honestly! Ungrateful!

Jaune: *groans in anger before continuing ranting*

Nora:……you know what, let’s have this conversation another time maybe. Maybe once you’ll less dense.

Pyrrha: What’s that supposed to mean?

Nora: I’ll answer that question too in the conversation we’ll have in the future when you’re less dense.

Pyrrha: O-okay.