linkman447

[linkman447]

Mama arc: soooooo

Jaune: yes mother you will have more grandchildren

Mama Arc: YESSSSS, but you *points to Raven branwen* you abandon this one I will gut you

Raven: *gulp* y-yes m-mother

Papa Arc: good move

[linkman447]

Ruby: 😢😢😢😢 y-your welcome *runs away crying*

Jaune: was she crying

Yang: I think she’s just sad. I mean we’re getting married she may feel I won’t be there for her as much, and you’re her best friend it’s got to be awkward.

Jaune: well after the honeymoon we’ll make it up to her.

Yang: and maybe make her aunt Ruby

Jaune: you’ve been talking with my mom haven’t you

Yang: can you blame me she scares the crap out of me

Jaune: yeah

wrong love

Basically jaune is sad that he is single, but someone give him signals but he misinterpet them and falls in lvoe with another person

jaune arc: youre right im sure ill find love, gtg

jaune leaves the person (who secretly loves them) behind

jaune find another person to love much to the dismay of the admirer

jaune arc: thanks agin for giving me the confidence to find the one

how would your otp react, either the admirer or lover will do

[linkman447]

Yang: well…

Pyrrha: no

Yang: but I need a fish

Pyrrha: your not taking my husband for you girlfriend

Jaune: is she nice 😊

Pyrrha: jaune she’s trying to feed you to her

Jaune: so she’s not so nice

Mermaid Arkos AU

Yang: I’m telling you, Pyr, fishing is tons of fun! Fresh air…a nice breeze coming off the water… 🎣

Pyrrha: Yang, I agreed to do something outside of the gym, but only because you wouldn’t stop badgering me to come out. Let’s just do the thing and get it over with.

Pyrrha: …and besides, I know you only suddenly became interested in fishing because your new girlfriend likes seafood. 🙄

Yang: *handing Pyrrha a fishing rod* For someone so sweet, you can be a real wet blanket sometimes, you know that? 😑

Pyrrha: *slumps onto a vacant end of the pier and casts her line* Ugh…this is so dumb…I’d better not fall behind on my conditioning because I’m out here watching a seagull eat a stolen taco…

Pyrrha: *feels a tug on the line* Hm…?

Pyrrha: *starts cranking*

Pyrrha: *struggling* What is this…? It feels huge! 😖

Pyrrha: *pulls back harder* 😫

????: *splashing* OW, OW, OW!!!!!

Pyrrha: 😧

Mer!Jaune: *tangled up in Pyrrha’s fishing line* …uh…hello…? 😅

———————————————————

Pyrrha: *relaxing on a beach chair by the water’s edge* …and THAT is the story of how we met…! 😌

Mer!Jaune: *lounging in the water* Turns out I’m a big fan of those “leg�� things! 🥰

Yang: I’m glad you’re getting out of the gym and meeting people, but the fact remains that I still don’t have any fish to serve my girlfriend! 😫

[linkman447]

Blake: do you wanna find out if i taste like cake *smacks her thicc ass*

Jaune: intriguing!!!

Ruby: hey

Weiss: or would you like to see if I taste like ice cream

Jaune: bye Ruby I must conduct my experiments *gets pulled into a bedroom by the monochromatic duo*

Ruby: F$&@

Jaune: ... If I licked Yang ... Would she be Spicy?

Ruby: I'm sorry, What?

Jaune: If I, Jaune Arc, Licked you Half-Sister, Yang Xiao Long, would she taste Spicy?

Ruby: ...

Yang: I mean ... *Dropping her shorts* If you wanna find out?

[linkman447]

Jaune: ahhhhh huff hufff damn it yang you got to let me breath

Yang:…

Jaune: what?

Yang: (looking over jaunes shoulder)

Jaune: (turns around to see a red faced Weiss) uhhh hi

Weiss: you filthy pervert yang

Yang: what why I’m I the lever jaune was the one eating me

Weiss: we both know he wouldn’t do this of his own volition

Jaune: hey I can be bold

Weiss/yang: shut up jaune

Jaune:(shot up) yes ma’am

Weiss/yang: ….

Jaune: what?

Weiss/yang: (looking at his crotch)

Jaune: (looks down) I’m sorry

Weiss: flip you for it

Yang: your on

Jaune: (watching them flip a coin) what are you two talking about

The coin lands on its side

Yang: holy crap

Weiss: well you know what this means

Yang: we share

Weiss: (nods)

Yang: nice

Hot Tub

Weiss: Why are you naked in my hot Tub?

Yang: Why are you staring at my tits?

Weiss: Because you're naked in my hot tub!

[linkman447]

Yang: as you should vb, but do you have one now?

Jaune:…

Yang: drop them pants mama need to check

Jaune: *thinking* quick Jaune, think of something romantic to say!

Jaune: You're the reason I wake up with a boner every morning.

Jaune: *Thinking* Why the fuck did I say that!?

(Imagine your Jaune OTP)

[linkman447]

Jaune: KaioKen

Jaune: fully amps himself

Yang: Kai o what?

Later

Yang: *In wheelchair* worth it

Yang: DESTRUCTO DISC!

Yang: *Throws a fucking 45 lb cast iron plate*

Later that day

Jaune: *Wearing bandages around his head* And that's why I'm not going to the gym with Yang anymore.

[linkman447]

Jaune: b-but

Ruby: it’s ok boyfriend

Suddenly a hand grabs her head

???: he’s my husband

Ruby: he’s your what

She is then lifted up by said hand and thrown halfway across vale

Pyrrha: and I thought moving to vale would keep these harlots away from my husband

Ruby: *standing above Jaune* Do you have a girlfriend?

Jaune: *scaroused* N-no

Ruby: *smiling* You have one now

[linkman447]

Married Life (Willow)

Jaune arc wondered through the halls of his new residence

Jaune: damn I’m lost again, I swear I need a map

Kline: master Arc do you require assistance

Jaune: ahhh Kline don’t sneak up on me

Kline: my apologies young master

Jaune: Kline please call me Jaune or if you must Mr. Arc

Kline: very well Mr. Jaune 😏

Jaune: you are the goofiest butler’s I’ve ever met

Kline: the only one you’ve ever met

Jaune: na my uncle Alex has one he’s super serous

Kline: by the by Mr. Jaune the mistress seeks your company

Jaune: yes I was looking for her too

Kline: fallow me please

Later in willow and jaunes bed chambers

Jaune: Willow my love I’ve come

Willow behind a wardrobe screen: I’ll be out in a moment my darling but I must admit I have bad news

Jaune: what’s wrong

Willow: well it’s about your teammates and friends

Jaune: yeah they were supposed to be here today right

Willow: there’s the bad news my love

Flashback

Weiss: mother how could you

Winter: I agree mother the knight of beacon was mine

Weiss: I think you mean mine sister

Winter: a child like you who rejected him time after time has no place courting and romancing a man such as him

Pyrrha: you are both wrong jaune arc and his future children are mine

Ruby: hey I wanna be with jaune

Blake: I want him to clap my bellabooty

Everyone: ….

Yang: calm down kitten we were supposed to be a united front all team RWBY

Willow: well sorry to burst your bubble but my jaune and I are in an exclusive relationship, plus Whitley adores his new stepfather

Whitley: he list me read comics and watch cartoons, and he plans on taking me to the comic convention in vale next month

Winter: he’s ours

Rwbyp: yeah get her

Willow: oh juniper

Whitley: grandma, grandpa

Crash

The wall crumbled revealing two tall and imposing blonds

Juniper: who is stopping my baby boy from giving me more grand children

Nicolas: Whitley is something wrong

Willow/whitley: they are

Winter/weiss: we are your grandchildren too

Juniper: you (point to weiss) broke my baby’s heart. And you (points to winter) left my new daughter in law and grandbaby with that jackass (Jacques)

Everyone: damn

Flashback ends

Willow: they will be a bit delayed so we will see them when we go to your parents tomorrow.

Jaune: aww well that’s too bad

Willow walking out from the screen in the sexiest outfit: don’t worry dear husband I’ll take your mind off of that

Jaune: time to fulfill my duties as a loving husband

[linkman447]

Ren: jaune as your friend and sworn brother, I mean this with utmost sincerity. You my friend are an idiot.

Jaune: wha-

Ren: that right there was an in to arguably the hottest girl in our year

Nora: he’s right fearless leader

Jaune: … what should I do

Nora: go right up to her, back her up to a wall, slam your hand against the wall next to her head…

Jaune: and?

Nora: (picking up a manga) I don’t know the volume ends right at that part

Ren:(shaking his head) kiss her

Nora: renny spoilers

Jaune: I’ma go do that

Later

Jaune comes back to the dorms limping

Nora: how did it go

Jaune: I can’t feel my lower half

Ren: did she punch-

Jaune: and I have a girlfriend

Ren: oh congratulations jaune

Nora: isn’t that great pyr-pyr

Pyrrha:( agitated beyond belief) y-yes it is a-quite g-grand (stands up abruptly) now if you’ll excuse me I need to have a word with a fellow student

Jaune: well that’s odd, but anyway I think if yang is like this now I’ll have more kids than my parents by the time I’m 30

Nora: then keep up the good work jaune-jaune give aunt Nora those nieces and nephews 

Ren: How was training with Yang?

Jaune: I left

Ren: Why?

Jaune: Because shit got weird!

Ren: ...

Jaune: Okay.. I had her cornered, we were fighting, it was an normal altercation

Ren: ?

Jaune: And then my hand ended up around her throat, and she looks me dead in my pupils, into my soul and says harder

Ren: ...what?

Jaune: And I'm-I'm looking at her like, excuse me?

[linkman447]

Pyrrha: Ruby come on we’re gonna be late.

Velvet: yeah today we got a special guest

Ruby: oh I’m on my way, by the way who is it

Blake: it one of jaune’s older sisters and her wife

Yang: Blake you too.

Blake: eh at first I didn’t get what the point of this club was but now ☺️ I love the fraternity and I have to admit after all the training Pyrrha’s put him through mmmmm

Yang: oh come on he can’t be-

Blake: (holding her scroll featuring shirtless photos of jaune) oh really

Yang: oh mama likes

Weiss: hey you lazy bums hurry up Ms. Goodwitch is waiting on us

Rbypv: coming

Yang: wait goodwitch?

Pyrrha: we needed a teacher for our club to be official, did you know she knew jaune as a kid

Yang: I’ll go but there better be snacks

Rwbpv: let’s gooooooo

JLA

Yang: Do you want to get some extra training in with me after class?

Ruby: Sorry, I have a JLA meeting today.

Yang: ...You're in the Justice League?

Ruby: No, we aren't allowed to talk about them anymore... It's the Jaune Lover's Association.

[linkman447]

Yang: hey babe

Jaune: what

Yang: 😡

Jaune: surely you can’t be serious

Yang: I am serious, and don’t call me surely

Jaune: …

Yang 👉😁👉

Jaune: go to our room

Yang: awww

9y old!Kid: Hey dad, I got a pun for you!

Jaune: Oh, what is it?

Kid: It's like a joke, but with word-play!

Jaune: 😐

Kid: 😀

Jaune: Go to your room...

[linkman447]

I need it

Jaune working out being subtly eyed by team RWBY along with Pyrrha, Glynda and velvet

Jaune: uhhh (pulls up tight gray gym shirt to wipe face) I’m sweating like a pig

RWBYPGV: we don’t need it

Jaune: uhg this shirts to tight (removes shirt)

RWBYPGV: (starting to get minor nosebleeds) we don’t need it

Jaune: well I better stretch before my next set (begins to stretch and flex his muscles)

RWBYPGV: (almost about to brake) we really don’t need it

Jaune: woo that was a good workout now to take a shower oops (pants catch on the bench and tear revealing him in his underwear) oh fudge

RWBYPGV: ………….. (sound of glass shattering) WE NEED IT

Jaune: oh hi every- woh what hey…. I know this look ren inform my mother she was right about girls in huntsman academies

Ren seeing his brother getting dragged into the gym showers: I will my friend

Nora: ohhhhh renny

Ren: right after I run for my life (he makes a brake for it)

Nora: oh silly renny…. NOBODY. ESCAPES. NORA

[linkman447]

Salem: pick up pick up pick up

Ozpin: this is ozpin

Salem: ozma I need to talk

Ozpin:…. Holy crap I never-

Salem: ok cut the crap I need help

Ozpin: and in your immortal wisdom you thought you’d seek my counsel

Salem: one of your students told me he loved me

Ozpin:… ok that… I didn’t expect that… who?

Salem: jaune arc

Ozpin: oh great I’ll tell juniper

Salem: oh gods I knew dealing with that woman would bite me in the ass

Ozpin: oh you already know your future mother in law

Salem: it was a moment of weakness and I was very drunk

Ozpin: well I wish you the best but remember arcs are really good at making children

Salem: oh fuck.

Ozpin: and you know what juniper will do if you brake his heart (click)

Salem: gods damn it… well better get ready for the infinite number of babies

Let me create some Drama

Jaune: I love you!

(Your ship): Oh... wow! Uh... Thank you....?

[linkman447]

Tai: yes we did it

Qrow: yep 99% of my problems with women is because I had sex with them and the other 1% is my semblance

Ozpin: yet another young huntsman falls to our shared fate

Ren: I had sex with Nora and it didn’t immediately solve all my problems. Wtfuck. You all lied to me.

Jaune: He fell for it. Got another one boys.

[linkman447]

Yang: I’m not the one who yells “load the chamber” during sex.

Ruby: *Helping Yang move* Where do you want me to put this box full of lotion and handcuffs?

Yang: Oh just put it in the dun- basement. Put it in the basement.

[linkman447]

Willow: she’s not but *pulls out 7 swans vodka* I am😉

Weiss: Can I help you?

Jaune: Are you vodka?