#they are not owning up to their nerdiness

[phantomsies]

𝖓𝖊𝖝𝖙 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖙 • 𝖆.𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖑𝖊𝖗𝖙

your biggest fan soons becomes your biggest obsession….

black onlyfans creator!reader (fem descriptions), nerdy!armin, public sex/public masturbation, squirting, mentions of toys, exhibitionism, throatfucking, cumshot

📝: I wanted to go a completely different direction with this but a) it’s no longer kinktober and it would’ve much better suited that and b) nerd!armin just scratches an itch in my brain I can’t quite put my finger on. So enjoy! 🫶🏾 (also, I AM SO SORRY THIS SHIT IS SO LONG 😭😭 I don’t intend on headcanons being this length but I can’t shut the fuck up.)

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nerd!armin had been a dutiful subscriber of (y/n) (l/n)’s or as the world knew you, (performer name) for quite some time. He’d faithfully watched your content, never missing an upload to your sites and shamelessly scrolling your Twitter.

nerd!armin preferred your videos over others because they were so unique. Always willing to push the envelope by shooting in unconventional spaces; your car, public bathrooms and even dressing rooms..a polar opposite to his shy, bashful nature. In a way, he was jealous but also aroused..

from your long acrylics, fluffy lashes, colorful hair that changed from video to video and of course, the beautiful, dark brown complexion that radiated underneath the sun or ring lights, nerd!armin was obsessed.

nerd!armin would lie in bed after a long study session, classes or even a hard day at work..mindlessly stroking his cock in one hand as he held his phone in the other, eyes glued to the screen whilst you performed those lewd acts.

shoving those dildos in and out of your tight cunt, those pretty pink walls and plump brown lips sucking on that silicone toy..stretching yourself open all for his pleasure. A jeweled butt plug shoved into your ass and cream oozing down onto that gorgeous skin and the leather of your seats as you worked yourself into countless orgasms..mewling and begging for the would be viewer to keep fucking you..

“Fuck, I’m about to come, daddy..you’re gonna make me squirt.” Crying out as nerd!armin jerked himself even faster..subconsciously responding back without a single other person being in the room. ”Squirt for me, baby. Come..” Whimpering before exploding with a load of his own..

despite only being an intern, nerd!armin was well off from his freelancing tech work and although it didn’t leave him much room for socializing, he would tip you amicably on all the new content, as well as leave kind, respectful, encouraging words. It wasn’t something you saw often in this field.

it also didn’t take nerd!armin long to realize that you never featured a partner in any of your content like some girls eventually did. Only the various assortment of toys gifted to you by supporters. Which only further fed his delusions when you made a mess and glared into the camera, batting those doe brown eyes before saying “..look at what you made me do..that big dick feels so good..”

nerd!armin, who had only been with one woman sexually in his entire life and didn’t date often, could only dream of being with a girl like you.

so it came as no surprise when you announced that you would be opening a contest to film with one of your subscribers for the first time, nerd!armin leaped at the chance! The thought of getting to fuck the woman he’d hopelessly fawned over excited him.

nerd!armin nearly fainted when he got a DM on OnlyFans one day to see that he had won, asking when he’d like to arrange the meetup.

nerd!armin was understandably nervous on the day you two came face to face..but felt as ease when you continuously reassured him and even made sure that both of you had been tested, as well as protection.

“You’re so cute..it’s nice to finally meet you. Thank you for supporting me..” your gentle voice sent a shockwave of butterflies soaring through nerd!armin’s stomach as you wrapped him in a tight hug…and of course, a tightening in his pants upon laying eyes on his favorite creator. But that was merely the beginning.

nerd!armin found himself blushing when you slowly traced circles all over his skin, examining the single tattoo on his forearm and complimenting the smell of his cologne as the two of you sat alone in the bedroom of the designated filming space of your spacious home. Impressed by the bookshelves full of old literature he passed on the way in.

“Mmmm..you’re nervous, aren’t you?” “…I guess you could say that.” “Well don’t be, I’m going to make sure we have a good time, I promise..”

nerd!armin had no idea just how true you were to your word when less than ten minutes after the camera came on, you were on your knees, tongue extended and a wide smile on your face as he towered over you.

nerd!armin could hardly contain himself when eventually, those glossy brims were now encompassed around his cock. Slurping noises emanating around the room, along with his adorable cries…sloppy drool and gag spit spilling from that wet mouth and onto the pulsating head, shaft and those swollen balls. Disregarding the fact that your pretty face had become a disheveled mess.

“Oh my God…that feels so good, beautiful. Your mouth feels fucking amazing..” “You wanna come for me, baby?” “..yes! Drain me, please..” pathetically pleading whilst relentlessly fucking your throat.

nerd!armin unabashedly spent days, practicing his stroke on a translucent flesh light, feeding it deep thrusts and stuffing it with an ungodly amount of cum, examining your videos like study material..in hopes of gaining some stamina against you.

but nothing could prepare nerd!armin for the sheer sensation that being inside of you brought upon him.. however, he wasn’t the only one caught off guard..especially when he’d gently tug your head down and force you to watch as he glided into that narrow hole.. a move he’d learn from his tapes.

“It’s so big..damn..” “I told you..” giggling to yourselves as your gazes met and he’d begin to move.

nerd!armin almost felt compelled to believe that you were faking your moans like other pornstars so often did…but that misconception was cleared up when your eyes began to trail back, legs began to tremble and a slight bulge formed at the very bottom of your stomach.

“Yes, you stretching the fuck out of this pussy, baby..right there!..” “Am-am I doing a good job?” “You fucking me so good, please don’t stop.”

nerd!armin nearly lost all composure when you all but pushed him away, only to shower him in a stream of your juices. Only increasing as he tapped that swollen tip against your quivering folds.

nerd!armin didn’t last more than five minutes after that powerful climax and began dry heaving as his own neared. Ushering you back to your knees to paint those pretty features and tits with his load.

nerd!armin was convinced that once the cameras shut off, you’d put him out for nutting too quickly. Surely a woman of your caliber would never deal with that again. But yet again, he was proven wrong when you smiled up at him, flicking your tongue across your lips before posing a question. “So..where should we should film next time? We gotta do this more often..”

nerd!armin had found himself the newest and sole object of (creator’s name) affection!

[shizucheese]

So about that Dropout Tweet...

There's a common trend in influencer/ content creator apologies, where the person doing the apology will say they are sorry for the harm that they did, claim they are taking ownership of it and using the whole situation to become a better person, etc. etc. Usually in a way that makes it sound suspiciously like it was written by ChatGPT.

And then they'll go on to say something along the lines of "But we've been getting a lot of death threats guys, and that's bad!" As if the fact that they're getting death threats somehow absolves them of at least some of the guilt of whatever it is that made the apology necessary in the first place. As if it means they're the real victims here.

Apparently Dropout decided to just skip the "ChatGPT apology" part and jump straight to the "We're getting physcal and legal threats" part. Followed up with them once again saying they support Palestiniens and ending it with "We reject antisemitism, Islamophobia, and all forms of bigotry, and welcome all to our platform who treat others with respect, empathy, and human dignity."

And they did it on Twitter, and only Twitter. You know, the website that's notoriously overrun by Nazis. Nothing on Tumblr or Instagram, where the original statement that sparked all of this (which has since been taken down) were posted.

@dropoutdottv, @samreich, this is not listening to the Jewish members of your community who are speaking out about antisemitism. This is reinforcing the antisemitism that those Jewish members of the community are speaking out about. Because what this Tweet does is paint everyone who spoke out against the antisemitism in your original post with the same brush as the people who were sending you threats.

Which, let me be clear, they should not have been doing and I wholeheartedly condemn.

But the actions of the people sending you threats of violence and threats of legal action do not invalidate the things being said by the people who haven't threatened you with anything worse than a boycott. I have literally seen people say "the fact that they got threats just proves they were right." Is that the outcome you were trying to achieve with this?

People who did bad things get death threats all the time; refer back to the beginning of this post. Does that make their critics wrong then, too? Or is it only now, when the accusation being made is that a nerdy comedy network beloved by people on the left did an antisemitism?

I honestly can't tell if you have no publicist helping you out with one, a bad publicist that needs to give you your money back, or an evil genius publicist that knew that if you made a post like this one, it would distract from the fact that you're being accused of antisemitism, maybe even act as a dog whistle to to paint anyone who accuses you of being antisemitic of being "Zionists" (meant in the derogatory way, where people claim they're only talking about people who uncritically support the Israeli government and their actions in Gaza, but then in practice will use it against anyone who believes Israel has the right to exist, including those who want a two state solution, whose hearts break for the people in Palestine, and call Netanyahu a fascist and probably want him gone more than even the people calling them "zionists" do). Maybe even make up for all of the subscriptions you're losing over this and even gain a few by catering to the antisemitic leftist crowd.

Is that really the kind of culture you want to cultivate? If not, then do better. Acknowledge the Jewish voices that are speaking out. Listen to them. And do it in a way that doesn't bring up any other marginalized group. Because like...fuck, man, I reject Islamophobia, and all forms of bigotry too. And I'm sorry you guys are receiving threats; that truly does suck and I hope everyone that works for you guys are staying safe.

But you're specifically being accused of antisemitism. Can you really not reject it all on its own without including other forms of bigotry in the same statement?

And do it on a platform that *isn't* run by an infamous antisemitic, and overrun by more antisemitics? (You can turn off comments and reblogs on Tumblr and comments on instagram, in the same way you disabled replies on your Tweet, you know.)

Here, I'll even write the statement for you: "Earlier this week, we made a statement regarding accusations that Dropout was platforming zionists. At the time, we made a statement focusing on our support of the Palestinian people. We stand by this statement. However, we have received feedback from several members of our community that some of the things that we said were inappropriate insensitive to the Jewish people. "Zionist" and "Zionism" mean different things to different people, ranging from "people who support the Israeli government's actions in Gaza" to "people who believe that Israel has a right to exist and the Jewish people have the right to self-determination." We had meant it in the context of the former definition, but we understand that many Jewish people identify with the later, including many people who are disgusted by the Israeli government's actions in Gaza, and we should have been more sensitive to this fact. Additionally, we would like to reiterate that, to our knowledge, nobody who has appeared on Dropout has openly stated support for the Israelie's actions in Gaza, and several of those accused have voiced their support for a free Palestine. We would like to take this moment to remind everyone that just because a person is Jewish, and may have ties to Israel, does not inherently mean they condone the actions of the Israeli government in Gaza, and to suggest otherwise is antisemitic. We at Dropout reject all forms of antisemitism and are committed to providing a safe space to everyone regardless of religion or ethnic background. We apologize if we made the Jewish members of our community feel like that was not the case."

See how easy that was? I feel something like this is the bear minimum, and if you had said the things in the last three paragraphs from the start, you could have avoided having to say everything in the first two paragraphs and the apology at the end.

That's...pretty much everything I have to say on the matter. To anyone reading this: Do not use other Jewish people to silence Jewish voices.

Do not use people of other marginalized groups to silence Jewish voices.

Just...maybe just listen to what we have to say without twisting our words and putting words in our mouths? Maybe?

Thanks for reading.

I'm so tired.

[papercorgiworld]

Gryffindor Fever

Mattheo Riddle x Gryffindor!reader

Brought to you by this request. While the Slytherins usually bully you, everything drastically changes when you go missing and Mattheo finds out he might have, what Pansy calls: Gryffindor fever.

Happy readings lovely readers! 💛

“Wooh, your test went about as well as the last gryffindor quidditch game.” Mattheo laughed and half of the class chimed as you looked horrified at your test. Snape shushed the class only to hack into your emotional state himself. 

And if that had been it for today, you wouldn’t have complained but leave it to the slytherin douchebags to make your day worse. A smug looking Draco pushes everyone to the side to catch up with you, his cold eyes snaring at you, followed by his gang. “Being stupid can’t be helped. It comes with gryffindor colours, but dressing like you fell into your grandma’s laundry basket is your choice.” Theo snickers as he pulls your home knit scarf. You loosen your scarf and before you fully register what you're saying you’ve already snapped back at the tall slytherin. “Says the guy who doesn’t know how to use a comb.” You snap, darting mean eyes at his bird’s nest of a hairdo. Mattheo has to press his lips together, hiding his amusement at your feistiness, as Theo takes a big step towards you, only to be held back by Enzo. “Dumbledore is around the corner, think about the house cup, mate.” Enzo ushers in a loud whisper, making Theo turn around but not before his dead eyes curse you to the beyond. 

You give them a nasty look, before turning around a corner. “Nice one. Those guys need to be put in their place more often. Otherwise they’ll think they own hongwarts.” George says, but his voice echoes in the back of your head as you feel yourself get lightheaded. Suddenly you feel arms wrap around you and after a few deep breaths you manage to look up and meet Fred’s eyes. You regain strength and lift your hand to rest on your forehead. “I got dizzy for a moment.” You analyse out loud in a soft whisper. “Yeah, we noticed.” Fred voices his concern as he helps you sit down against a cold wall. George immediately conjures a cup of water for you, which you take with a soft smile. “I got way too worked up over my test and Snape’s lecture and those- those idiots.” The twins look at you with sympathy and to each other with a glitter in their eyes, for sure they would play a fantastic trick on those Slytherins for you getting so stressed. 

It was Hermoine’s advice that convinced you to ignore and avoid everyone and everything silver and green coloured. “Just study and find peace in the books.” She had told you over dinner that same day. You following her advice hadn’t gone unnoticed as Slytherins started to miss their favourite gryffindor to make a fool of. Harry was a sensitive issue after he and Draco had almost kissed him when drunk at a Hufflepuff party. Hermione was old news. And Ron was just too easy of a target. You were perfect, but as of the last few days: unfindable, since you hit in a corner of the library only nerdy ravenclaws and Hermione knew about. And apparently also Fred and George. 

“You gotta eat!” George exclaimed, losing his patience with you. “No. I got to study.” You mumble not looking up from your book. “Failing one test will not kill you, starvation will.” Fred added as he tried to reach for your book. You quickly pull your book closer. “I already failed a test, if I fail another Snape will kill me.” “Your brain needs food.” Fred says with a voice low and serious. “Later…” You say, your eyes meeting his for only a second. The twins sigh, but leave for the great hall in defeat. “Unbelievable, that one.” You hear George whisper, making you look at them walking away. I really should eat… after this chapter I should definitely eat something.

You did not eat after that chapter, in fact you studied late. Robbing yourself of sleep and draining yourself completely.

“Do you think (y/n) is alright?” Mattheo blurs out as he stares at the fire, standing still with his hands in his pockets. Pansy looks up from the novel she was reading, carefully studying Mattheo through her lashes before scanning the empty common room. It’s only when Mattheo turns to look at her that she puts her book away. “Do I look like the Gryffindor whisperer to you? No clue what that girl thinks. At this point I don’t even know what you’re thinking… What’s she to you?” Mattheo shrugs. “Just haven’t seen her in a while.” Pansy fakes a pout. “You must have the same thing as Draco…” Mattheo frowns, but Pansy’s quick to explain herself as she gets up and whispers in Mattheo’s ear: “Gryffindor fever.” 

Mattheo gives Pansy a look of disgust but quickly finds that he has no counterargument, because he really was worried about you. Pansy cheekily tilts her head to the side as she watches Mattheo struggle. Just as Mattheo has gathered enough words for a sentence the door to the common room is blown open and Mattheo is slung against a wall, making Pansy shriek and duck behind a couch. “Where is she, you snake?” George yells as both twins point their wands at Mattheo who is picking himself up off the ground. “What?!”

***

With panic in their eyes Fred, George and Mattheo flew over hogwarts’ grounds, quickly Mattheo grew impatient and started to explore the edge of the dark forest. You had been last seen by a hufflepuff who thought you were looking for potion ingredients, depending on what you were looking for you would have probably gone into the forest. Mattheo felt his heart racing, what if something bad had happened to you. He suddenly realised how silly he had been pretending he didn’t care about anyone, leave alone annoying Gryffindors. His grip on his broom tightened as it dawned on him that he only wanted people to think he didn’t care about you and that seemed so silly now. 

From a distance your body looks lifeless and Mattheo’s heart stopped beating for what felt like minutes until he wrapped you in his arms. A soft sound escapes your lips and a most gentle kiss on your head assures you that you’ll be alright. “Let’s get you back to the castle and all warmed up.” You were still pretty out of it but you could’ve sworn that sounded like Mattheo Riddle, but like the soft gentle version… Clearly you were not well yet, because that would be impossible. Instinctively you grab onto his warm clothes and snuggle in. Your whole body was drained of energy but you knew you were safe.

George opened the door to the Gryffindor common room and Fred held the door open while George threw everyone off the couch. Every Gryffindor in the room stood gawking as Mattheo carried you inside carefully. As Mattheo ever so gently lay you down on the couch, he heard Ron whisper: “Now I’ve seen everything.” Making the slytherin roll his eyes as he could already imagine the red head’s dumb face. Fred leans over you, softly whispering your name. George pushes both Mattheo and Fred away so he can lay a blanket over you and Fred tucks you in a little more as your eyes flutter open. Every student in the room has now surrounded the couch you’re laying on. “What happened?” Hermione asks, eyes darting between the twins. “Think she passed out.” George answers and Fred nods. “Yeah.” You whisper and you open your eyes fully to see everyone hang over the couch staring at you. “I probably shouldn’t have eaten and slept a bit more instead of just studying for Snape’s stupid test.”  

Mattheo just keeps his distance, feeling guilty for everytime he mistreated you. Not saying a word since he feels unworthy. Slowly he makes his way to the door as he hears you explain what happened. “Hey, is it possible I heard Riddle’s voice when I was in the forest?” You suddenly ask, making Mattheo hold his breath as the room falls silent. “Yeah…” George says as he moves away, so you see a soft looking Mattheo staring back at you. Mattheo swallows hard, gathering courage to say what he really wishes to say. “Take care of yourself.” There’s a sincerity in his voice, but the way he raises his hand to awkwardly wave you goodbye makes the whole ordeal just bizarre. Ron just stares at Mattheo with wide eyes as he leaves. “If I didn’t know any better I would think he genuinely cares for you, (y/n).” Yeah, if I didn’t know any better… I would think the same.

***

Mattheo had been on your mind ever since he left so awkwardly that night. You would often catch yourself trying to remember the warmth of that forehead kiss, his smell when you held onto him and his gentle words. It seemed so surreal. You shake your head trying to focus on the test in front of you, but again your thoughts drift to how ever since you passed out, not a single person has bothered you. Your eyes wander over to Mattheo obviously trying to see what Theo is writing on his test. In order to get yourself to focus, you promise yourself that you’ll confront Mattheo after Snape’s class. 

You patiently wait outside the classroom while Mattheo and Enzo try to suck up to Snape, since they had a bad feeling about the test. When both guys enter the hallway you immediately step in front of them. “Mattheo, can we talk?” Your voice came out softer than you expected. Enzo licked his lips, but Mattheo made sure nothing cheeky was said and sent Enzo away with one curt nod. “How did your test go?” Mattheo asks, to your surprise he sounded like any other student. There was no mocking tone and mean eyes staring you down. “It went pretty good, I guess… but you never know with Snape. He’s not really fond of Gryffindors.” Mattheo smiles. “You don’t say. Hadn’t noticed.” You chuckle and his eyes linger on your lips, adoring your soft laugh. 

“How are you?” He quickly picks up the conversation, worried his staring would weird you out. “I’m good. I’ve been eating properly and Ginny’s been making sure I go to bed on time, Fred and George’s orders.” A soft huff escapes Mattheo’s lips and you couldn’t quite figure out what it meant. “They’re good friends, those Weasley’s. You’re lucky you have them watching over you.” You couldn’t help but smile at him with loving eyes. There was something so adorable about Mattheo, you couldn’t have believed it if he wasn’t standing right in front of you. “Thank you.” You whisper, making Mattheo’s eyes shoot up to lock onto yours. “I’m lucky to have you as well.” You move to stand on your tippy toes and give a feather light kiss on his cheeks, turning the cold Slytherin into a blushing love struck puppy.  

Mattheo felt himself heat up and just stood there nailed to the floor as you walked away. And he could help but think back to Pansy’s words: This must be Gryffindor fever. 

Word count: 1803

[cradlequill-stories]

D&D Concept: Potty Training Stat

For those nerdy AB/DLs out there, imagine playing a D&D campaign where all the characters have a set score that indicates their level of Potty Training. It could essentially be its own skill, just like Animal Handling, Investigation, or Persuasion, meaning some characters could choose to be proficient in it, but would lose out on a proficiency in something else if they chose to go down that route. And this skill would most likely be affected by either the character's Wisdom or Constitution.

Now imagine that each time a character took a hit or got scared, the DM had them make a Potty Training check. There would be a set Potty Training DC for each character, reflecting their level of being potty trained. Let's say it starts at 5 for most characters, meaning there's only a very small chance of them having an accident each time they get hit. Nothing to worry about, right?

Except that over time, they're bound to eventually fail the check and have an accident. And once they've had one accident, suddenly it's just a bit easier to have another. For each accident they have, that Potty Training DC goes up by 1. Each accident leads to an increased risk of having another one. The accidents compound, until the character is known for being a bit accident-prone.

Once their Potty Training DC reaches 10, the DM could start having the character roll a Potty Training check during each long rest, indicating whether or not they wet the bed. And of course, if they wake up with wet sheets, the DC goes up once more. If their DC reaches 15, any proficiency they had in Potty Training is removed, since clearly they aren't proficient in keeping their pants dry.

Over time, they have more and more accidents until their DC is just too high to ever reasonably hit, and they're wetting themselves constantly. The other characters in the party would surely suggest to them that they find some way of containing these accidents. After all, it's much to embarrassing to be associated with the adventurer who pees their pants on every quest. So they'd all have to go to the nearest general store and ask the clerk there to fashion some larger cloth diapers for them.

And maybe those cloth diapers would be an item that gives the wearer disadvantage on all Potty Training checks, but advantage on Constitution or Wisdom saving throws, since they don't have to worry about keeping their pants dry anymore and can use that mental energy to focus on combat instead of their mind wandering in the midst of battle.

Though, now that I think about it, the diapers would have to give disadvantage on Stealth, Deception, and Intimidation checks too, since that adorable crinkle and the extra padding would be a dead giveaway, and who would be intimidated by an adventurer that can't even graduate to big kid undies?

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

While Marcy miraculously staying in LA after the events of Amphibia """misses the point""" and """ruins the story""", my most self indulgent side NEEDS to see these three together in Highschool. I need Sasha being a bit of a mean girl especially to people who look at her girls weird. Yes she HAS spread people's secrets yes she HAS destroyed the self-esteem of countless boys yes she HAS gotten half the cheerleading squad kicked out while jumping through all the moral loopholes imaginable to be juuust on the side of chaotic good and not chaotic neutral. All because they said something mean about the time Marcy freaked out like a baby over a blackout, or because they mocked the food Anne brought from home. Need Anne being surprisingly popular, a big sports girly, seeing her two girls cheering for her during her games - one of them as an actual cheerleader, the other with big signs and maybe a trumpet or something. Need Marcy with her weak nerdy legs (and lingering nerve damage oops) asking Sasha for piggyback rides on the way home, discussing anime and FPS videogames with her while Anne carries her backpack, phone in her free hand, waiting for those two to be distracted so she can snap a picture.

I want them to be so uncommonly affectionate with each other in school, that everyone finds them kinda weird but their families have given very explicit Do Not Separate orders so the teachers let them be. They've been through a lot. Doesn't stop the cheerleading squad laughing at Sasha and questioning how come she'd rather hang out with her two kindergarden friends - one being cringe and nerdy and the other being dumber than a bag of rocks - instead of dating any of the cute boys that always ask her out, or how come she always cancels plans on them as soon as one of her girls calls. Sasha will make sure to teach them not to question her in the future.

The teachers quickly realize Marcy's potential but also notice she only hangs out with two girls who are pretty lazy and are barely passing their classes, and they wonder if they're using her to get good grades. Those two do seem to fit the stereotype of the jock and the mean girl taking a nerd under their wing to make them do their homework. Marcy does help them study, but she doesn't lose sleep over it - she knows they're smart and they'll figure it out, she's just there for a little encouragement. They just haven't seen the care and concern with which they hold her when her chest starts burning all of a sudden, how they race after her to the bathroom whenever she's feeling unwell, how protectively they cuddle her at sleepovers.

Anne has her own group of jock friends separate from Marcy and Sasha, and they get along fine, but they're beginning to think it's odd that she turns down every boy that asks her out, while lighting up like a flower in the sun whenever she gets a call from one of her girls. They ask her about it at one point, and all she says is "I don't really think I want a boyfriend. These two already take enough of my time", with a fond smile and a tender tone of voice that might make you think there's more to it if you had any idea of the concept of consensual non-monogamy, or lesbians. But you're a teenage boy so what you think is more along the lines of "wow they seem like very good friends".

[bluesest]

A Football prank

Today is the big day, the big game that will decide the future of several young athletes will be about to start, the field full of fans from different schools will see which team will be the one to take the victory. However, the poor decisions of four athletes will be an obstacle to the big trophy.

Mikey was a nerdy young student, he was always the best in the classes with the best grades which made him an easy target for the bullies on duty:

Kenny: A rather gentle black boy, he doesn't like problems off the field, however, thanks to his friends he gradually took on a bully role. Moderately muscular and the shortest of the four friends.

Devin: The most muscular of all, he is relaxed and likes to annoy those he calls "nerds", he is passionate about everything that is sporty and especially uniforms that make him highlight certain parts of his body to try to be more attractive.

Tyler: The most attractive of the whole team, tall, blond and with blue eyes who causes several girls to go after him, even if he doesn't pay attention to him. He has an organized personality and likes to play pranks on his friends.

Jake: The most masculine of them all, he has a small beard and a seductive and dominant look, he is competitive and his favorite hobby is annoying nerds or his own brother.

This group of athlete friends never miss any training and much less the sporting events organized by their school, always giving their all on the field, however, that is not the only thing they do.

Mikey was his favorite nerd, where he meets that group who laugh out loud while making cruel jokes on him, where he often ends up penniless and on the verge of a mental breakdown, but this time he won't allow them not to get any punishment for what they've done to him and other students.

Using his intelligence and his contact which is his best friend who is also on the football team, he put together a rather cruel but fair plan.

On the day of the grand finale between two rival schools, Mikey will put an extra-strong, fast-acting laxative in his bullies' energy drinks, while his best friend will deliver those drinks to them so that there is no suspicion on their part, a perfect plan.

Finally the big day arrived and the plan went perfectly, the four drinks were loaded with laxative which its flavor would be camouflaged by the sweetness of the liquid. The boy offered the drinks to the group: "You are our hope, here are 4 drinks for 4 stars", and without thinking twice they took the whole content in one gulp, the group had the same opinion: "delicious"

And in the blink of an eye they were already on the field with the eyes of everyone around them. The first minutes were of pure calm if we talk about their stomachs since the rival school team were difficult opponents to beat, several with great musculature, speed and endurance, the united strength of the team was required to be able to beat them and take the victory, but their union would not last long.

Thanks to the frenetic nature of the sport, the boys' stomachs began to tremble, a chilling sensation filled their bodies that were already beginning to sweat.

Kenny:

As he was chasing the ball he began to feel a persistent and uncomfortable gurgling, each step he took bounced his stomach and intestines causing the effect to start much faster than expected.

*GRRRRRRRRRRR*

"Ugh, I feel really bad"

Another gurgling caused him to slow down as he grabbed his sore stomach which begged for mercy and a moment out of physical activity.

*GRRRRRR* *GRRRRRRRR*

"Fuck, my... Stomach... oh no..."

*PPPPFFFFFFTTTTTTT*

A loud fart came out of his butt frantically making his buttocks collide that by then remained tight not only because of the stress of the match, but also because of the sensation he felt inside him, a liquid made its way through his stomach wanting to reach his large intestine as quickly as possible.

*PFFTFTFTFTFTFT* *PRRRRR*

"I don't think I can hold on a little longer..."

*GRRRRRRRR* *PRRRRRRRRRRRR*

"I just have to wait for the first half to end, that's all..."

*GRRRRRRR*

"Nope, I definitely can't!"

He decided to stop following the ball to turn around and head towards the public bathrooms of the field, however, before he even reached the halfway point, an opponent pushed him with all his strength, he had unintentionally entered his territory, the rival was almost twice as heavy as Kenny which caused him to fall to the ground and almost lose consciousness.

*SQHHSQHSQHQSSQSQSQ*

A terrible sensation made him regain consciousness, the squeeze of buttocks was interrupted by that thrust and made him lose control of his intestines letting a small fraction of the diarrhea escape to crash into his pants.

His skin changed tone to a pale one, his eyes turned white while the smell flooded his nose, however, he had not lost hope as it was not so much diarrhea and at least he had released some pressure.

Before heading back to the bathroom he saw how his other friends were going in different directions, Kenny didn't know why, but he wasn't interested when he has his own problems to solve.

Despite the shouts of his coach, he ignored it and finally reached the public bathroom in the middle of the game.

"I don't have time to wait for the break in the first half"

It was rare to see star players leave the field even though the game was still on, so several people set their sights on the 4 friends, although some were out of sight.

Kenny finally arrived at the public toilet which was actually a portable toilet, he tried to open the door, but it was locked, plus a disgusting smell came out of there, what was missing, is occupied.

Kenny began to knock frantically on the door, but a thick voice caused him to freeze in the moment: "Hey! Your little boy stops knocking on the door" was the voice of the director, "I'm done and I'm cleaning myself, but if you want to come in when I leave I'll tell you that I've eaten hot wings so it will be your responsibility"

In desperation, Kenny began to jump frantically using one hand to hold his stomach and the other to cover his anus and try to keep nothing from coming out of there, but his efforts were in vain.

Just as the director opened the door, a thunderous noise was present.

*PFPPFTPPTFTTFFTPFPPFTTFF*

His body could not take it anymore and decided to evacuate everything inside.

*SQHSQHQHHSHSHSHQHSQSQS* *PPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRR* *TRRRRRRRRR* *SHQHSHSQHSHSQHSHSQHSQHSQ* *GRRRRRRR*

When he looked up, he saw the director with a stunned look and then changed to a mocking smile: "Ha! Wow but if you're Kevin, a lot of students spoke very badly about you, but I think they omitted the smell part."

Kevin pulled the director aside and locked himself in the smelly bathroom and sat down in the sweaty, hot seat.

*TRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTR* *KSQKQSKSKQ* *PFFFFTFTFTFTFTF* *SQHQSHSQHHSSHHQSQHSQQQS*

"Incredible, and I thought that when I drink beer and eat wings I destroyed the toilets, I can't believe that one of the stars of the team has shit on his pants, I will leave you alone"

*HQSHQSHSHQSHQHSHQS* *SHSHSHHSSHHSHSHSHS* *PFTFTFTFTFTFTFF* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PLOP*

Finally there was a moment of calm for Kenny, he saw with sadness his white pants full of brown shit, he looked up with still sweat and thought "I hope my friends are winning..." 

Devin:

Of all his team he was the most brusque to play so the effects didn't take long... *GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

His pace began to slow down while his stomach only accelerated its movement while several farts came out of him.

*PFFFTTT* *PFFFTTTT* *PPFFTT*

His farts were submachine gun type, in other words, small but quite loud, each fart combo increased the weight Devin felt in his stomach until that weight went to his rectum where he hated to feel a thick diarrhea that could barely allow the fart to escape to relieve the pressure.

"It can't be! Why now?"

He stopped for a moment in the middle of the court, held his stomach, lifted his butt in the air and let out a big, powerful fart.

*PPPPPFFFFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT*

"Hahaha, that was a tremendous one..."

*GRRRRRRR* *PPPPFFFFTTTTT*

"But releasing it didn't make me feel better... I don't think I can wait for the first half to end..."

*PPPFFFFFTTTTTTTT*

"I need to find a bathroom soon..."

He turned his gaze to the only portable toilet on the field, but unfortunately he saw how a tall man in a suit entered, leaving him with no options.

"Fuck! I think I'll keep farting a couple more to relax my stomach."

*PFFFTTTT* *PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *PFFFTT* *SQQSHH*

"Oh no... that was a wet one... I definitely won't be able to go on like this."

With regret in his heart and year he decided to leave the game aside despite the shout of the other members of the team, before leaving the place he turned his gaze back and saw how his other friends were heading to different places.

He ran as fast as his current condition allowed, every step he took he could feel how little by little liquid tried to escape from his ass, he was near the school until a violent gurgling stopped him followed by several farts one after another.

*PPPFFTTFTF* *PPFTFTFTF* *PFPTPPPTTP* *PFPPTPFFPTP* *PPPPFFTFTFTFTF*

"I can't take it anymore!"

He went to some bushes that were near him, took off his tight pants and his helmet to bend more comfortably preventing his butt from rustling the leaves of that bush.

*PPPPPFPFFPFPFTFTFTFTFTFTTFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT*

A gigantic fart came out of his bare butt first, announcing something impressive.

*QRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQR*

A gigantic trunk made its way through the rectum out of Devin's tired anus as he began to sweat.

"Ufff Ufff Ufff"

*QRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQR* *SPLASH*

He finally came out, it looked about the size of a human arm, that took some of Devin's gut pain away and he thought he just had to evacuate that big trunk, but he was wrong.

*GRRRRRRRRR*

"Oh no again"

*PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* *SQHHSHQSHSHQQSHSHQSQHQSQHQS* *TRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTR* *SHQHSQHSQHQHSQSQQSQQSQ* 

A torrent of liquid diarrhea came out of his body, apparently that solid poop served as a cork to stop the diarrhea that was generated in his stomach, perhaps that was the reason why he could fart without worrying so much.

*PPFTFTFTFTFT* *SHQHSQHSHSQHSQHQSS* *PFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT* *PPPPRRRRRRRRRR* *TTTTSSSSSSSSSSSS*

The second round was even more violent than the previous one as the shit that fell to the ground began to splash and reach longer distances, staining Devin's favorite shoes a bit.

*QSHSHHSHSHSQHSQHSQHSQHSQSQSQSQSQ *TRTRTRTRTRTRTR* *PFTTFTFTFTFTFF* *GRRRRRRRR*

With another diarrheal explosion and the exit of another small log, Devin's intestines managed to calm down enough to regain his composure.

"Phew, I think it was enough for now... Fuck! I've completely forgotten that I don't have toilet paper!"

He began to despair and frantically looked around not only to look for something to clean himself with but also someone who had witnessed what happened, in the end he had some luck to remember that he had just defecated in a bush full of leaves.

With his bare and sweaty hands he began to remove some leaves and began to rub them against his disastrous butt, he gently tapped while the stress was leaving.

After 5 minutes, he finally got up, he had used several leaves that were left on the ground trying to cover the diarrhea and that trunk to hide what had happened there, but that was not the end of Devin's problems as he began to feel a slight tingle.

"I think having gone through so much stress made my hands go a little numby and the... butt?"

Under his gaze and saw his red hands, the slight tingling changed to an annoying and irritating itch that unfortunately not only affected his hands, but also his already battered butt.

He began to scratch frantically only causing a worse reaction, the turn to that bush to realize that he had just cleaned his butt with poison ivy.

As he jumped in pain as he felt irritation about to invade his balls, he wondered, "Where have my friends gone?"

Tyler:

He stood on the sidelines of the team and waited for a chance to take the ball and as he was about to touch it a big blast of air came out of his butt.

*PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF*

He immediately knew that it was no ordinary fart, he felt that a couple of drops came out of his butt and it was not exactly sweat.

He froze for a moment while the rival team regained possession of the ball, and suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder that brought him out of the trance:

I read: "Hey! You have missed that golden opportunity to take advantage of them"

It was Leo, a moderately muscular man and the newest member of the team who also showed a great talent for football, even if he lacks practice. Leo noticed the sweat on Tyler's forehead as he kept a blank stare and asked:

Leo: "Are you okay?"

Tyler reacted immediately and tried to pretend he didn't feel sick by giving a big, somewhat forced smile while saying "Don't worry."

Leo wanted to continue talking to him, but Tyler decided to leave to follow the ball again, he could not disappoint the team or his friends, he also has a new concern thanks to Leo who always proved to be insistent on helping others, almost as a talent he can know when a person is bad both physically and mentally, in addition, it seems that Leo cared more about Tyler than all the other members of the team. 

10 minutes of a great marathon passed behind the ball, but little by little his stomach became heavier causing him to lose speed and little by little he was left behind, the stomach pain was so much that for every 5 steps a fart escaped more and more violent and wet.

*PPPFTFTFTFT* *PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *PPFFTFT*

"Damn! There is still a long way to go before the end of the first half"

*GGGRRRRRRRR* *PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT*

"Maybe I can ask the coach for a rest and be able to go to the portable stadium toilet...*GRRRRR* but it would be very embarrassing because I know that the diarrhea I'm going to have will not be normal and you can hear it for miles"

*PPPFFFFFTTTTTTT*

"But I really need to sit on the porcelain right now..."

He stopped running and stayed in the middle of the court holding his stomach ache.

*PPFTFTTFTFTF* *PPPFTFTTF* *PPFPFFTFTFTFTTF* *PPPFTFTTFTFTFT*

Meanwhile Leo continued to give his all in the game, although he could not get Tyler out of his head, when he lost sight of the ball he turned his gaze to Tyler who was lying standing with his eyes up.

Tyler realized that Leo was watching him and ran again to avoid suspicion... A terrible mistake.

*PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *SQQSHH*

His stomach was losing the battle, it stopped abruptly as another flurry of wet farts came out of him.

*PPFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *PPFTFTFTFT* *PPPFTFTFTFTFT* *PPFTFTFT*

Tyler definitely lost control of the situation, he started frantically looking everywhere to look for the portable toilet on the court, but he just saw how the door closed abruptly, he had no choice but to try to get to the school bathrooms, something impossible at that time.

As he ran off the field, he saw his group of friends separate and walk away from the field, but he didn't think it was important.

Leo saw the scene from afar, saw how 4 of the team's sports stars were urgently leaving the place and decided to follow Tyler to see if he was okay.

Tyler, already halfway away from the big show, was frantically looking for a shortcut to the bathroom or in the worst case a large bush to hide his butt and his diarrhea, but before deciding his fate, a scream caught his attention.

"TYLER!"

It was Leo's voice who was running after him.

Leo: "What happened to you? Because you decided to flee the party"

Tyler: "I wasn't running away, I was just going to do something I forgot..."

Leo: "So why didn't you wait for the first half to end instead of abandoning the team?"

Tyler: "I don't..."

*PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF*

A loud fart was present, Leo was stunned while Tyler was totally blushing with embarrassment.

*PPFTFTFTF* *PPFTFTFT* *PPPPFFFTTT*

Tyler quickly took off his pants and grabbed his helmet to use as a makeshift toilet, he might as well shit on the floor, but he didn't want Leo to see his naked ass and penis while he was flushing a large fountain of natural chocolate, plus there was no bush nearby to cover it.

*QSHHQSHSQHSQHSQHQHSHSHSQSQS* *PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTFT* *PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

As expected, the first shock was violent, Tyler tried not to moan, but it was impossible.

*PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTTF* *TRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTR* *GHRGHRGHRHR* *PSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

Leo saw the scene not with disgust, in fact, it was the best thing that had happened to him in his life, he was gay in the closet and his crush was Tyler but he could not confess it for fear of rejection, but finally he could observe his large naked body although it was not the best of situations.

*SQHSQHHQSHQHSQHSQHSHQSHQS* *PSSSSSSSSSSSS* *PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR* *SQSHHHHHHH* *PFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *SHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

Tyler finally looked back at Leo, while he tried to hide his erection.

I read: "I'm so sorry! I didn't know you needed to go to the bathroom!"

Tyler: "You look more blushing than me, this is so embarrassing ugh" *PFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFF*

Leo: "Do you need help?"

Tyler: "What do you think? *SHQHSHQSHQHSQHSQHS* I'm naked outdoors while my ass discharges all the food of an entire year..." *SHQSHSHQHSHQHSHQHSQHSQHSQHSQ* *PPPRRRRRRRRRRR* *SHHSHQHSHQHSQHSHQHSHQSSQSQSQ*

Leo took off his shirt and covered Tyler's body while he couldn't help but laugh to stop feeling embarrassed.

Tyler: "Come to think of it, you and I don't know each other very well, how about we get out of these someday?"

Leo: "Like a date?"

Tyler: "If you look at it like that, hahaha *SQHSHHQSHQHSHQSHSQHSQHS* by the way, could you get toilet paper? I heard that a lot of poison ivy grows in these places..."

I read: "Sure! And by the way... Your friends also fled the party, what do you think happened to them?"

Tyler: "No idea" *PPPFFFTTT*

Jake:

He demonstrated his dominance in the sport every minute of the game and had kept the ball for quite some time while strategizing to score points.

But his movements began to lose power and his brain had a hard time even formulating a thought other than his butt in the toilet.

*GRRRRRRRRRRR*

"Damn! Maybe it was this morning's coffee? But that only makes me fart..."

*PPFTFTFTFTFTFTTF*

"Well, that was one, but... the farts in the café are not wet and neither are they..."

*GRRRRRRR*

"It makes me want to go to the bathroom"

Jake kept trying to focus on the match, but his ass couldn't handle that much pressure and he needed to release it urgently, so while he ran his butt focused on loosening his buttocks a little and giving way to the foul smell.

*PPFTFTF* *PPPFTFTFTFT* *PPFFFFTT* *PRRRRRR*

With each passing minute, his farts became more violent and wet, so much so that even his underpants began to get damp not only with sweat.

"There is still a long way to go before the end of the first half..."

*GGGGRRRRRRR*

"Fuck this, if I don't get to a bathroom soon, my pants will go from white to brown."

He went to the only portable toilet in the place, however, he saw an adult in a suit enter, Jake yelled to stop, but his pleas were not heard.

"Shit! Now what do I do? I think I will be able to resist a little longer to get to the school bathrooms, but... they are really disgusting"

*GGRRRRRRRRRR*

"It's true! My house is close to here, if I run I will be able to use my bathroom and avoid going through embarrassing moments"

Without thinking twice, Jake decided to leave the game and his friends, but first he looked back to see how they were doing and apparently they were all heading to different places.

His diet was quite rough, he often went through whole days of constipation, so his stomach was strong enough to withstand the large amount of fluids in his rectum until he reached his house.

As he ran, his buttocks lost more of the pressure they were exerting on the anus, so several wet farts escaped.

*PPFTFTFTTFTF* *PFTFTTF* *PRRRRR*

But the effort and his wet underpants were worth it when he got home, he went in and went up to the second floor and tried to open the door of the only bathroom in the house, but it was locked.

*TOCK* *TOCK*

"Is there anyone here?"

Behind the door was his younger brother Jhon combing his hair, when he heard his brother's voice he was surprised because he had an extremely important game which had not ended. 

Jake: "Open the door for me please! It's urgent!"

Jhon: "Aren't you supposed to be in a game or something?"

Jake: "I know! But I had to abandon it because something I ate fell very badly on my stomach, I'm about to on myself!"

Jhon was about to open the door, but he remembered that this morning he played a practical joke on him at breakfast, when he asked Jake for the sugar he gave him the salt, something that ruined his breakfast, plus it always bothers him.

Jhon: "Well, go to some bush or something, I'm busy here"

Jake: "Open the damn door! Or I'll right here and make you clean it up!"

Jhon: "You wouldn't dare, and even if you forced me I wouldn't do it, besides our parents getting very angry"

Jake: "Please! I feel like it's already coming out!" 

*PPFTFTFT* *PPFTFTFTFTFTFT* *PPFTFTFTFT* *PPFFFFTTTTT* 

Jhon: "HAHAHAHA"

Jake: "Listen to that!"

Jake started jumping while both of his hands were covering his anus to prevent a terrible accident from happening, and out of desperation he began to try to knock down the door with his elbow, like the police shows he has always liked.

Jhon was nervous, he knew his brother and his determination very well and he was afraid that he would break the door and his parents would scold both of them if that happened, so he decided to make one last joke and waited for Jake to get the urge to knock on the door again, when that happened, Jhon opened the door causing Jake to fall to the bathroom floor.

*PPPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *SQSHH*

Jake: "!"

Jhon: "All yours bro"

Jhon left the bathroom without closing the door to annoy Jake even more, meanwhile Jake didn't care at all and began to undress and after a long day sit on the precious toilet.

*QRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQR* *PLOP*

The first round was a gigantic log due to his constipation, but that was only the beginning.

*SHQHSQHSHHQSHSHQSHQSSQSSQ* *PPFTTFTFTFTTF* *TRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTRTR* *SQHHSQHSHQSHQHSQHSHSQHQ* *PPPFFFTTTTTPPPPPPFFFFFTTTT*

Several farts followed by wet shit came out of him, his anus finally exploded which became quite obvious to Jhon who was on the first floor of the house who sneered: "In the end you made a great note on the toilet and not in the game!"

Jake: "Shut up!"

*PPFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *SHSHQHQSHQHSQHQHSQSQS* *PPPSSSSSS* *PPFTFTFTFTFF* *TRTRTRTRTRTR* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PFFTTT* *SQSHHHHHHHHHH*

More runny diarrhea came out of him, even with the door open the bathroom couldn't shake the nauseating smell that Jake emanated.

*PSSSSSSSSSS* *PFTFTFTF* *PSSSSSSSS* *TRTRTRTRTRTTRT* *PPSSSSSSSSS* *QHSHQSHQSHQHSQHSQHSQHSQSQSS* *PPSSSSSSSS* *PFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTF*

Another round caused his stomach to shrink to try and get everything out of his system.

*PLOP* *PLOP* *PLOP*

More small logs came out of his anus, apparently it was not a good idea to eat so much protein for the game.

*QHHSHQSHSQHSHQSHQSHSHQSHQSHQS* *PFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *TRTRTRTR* *QSHQHSHQSHQSHQHSQHSQHSQHSQ* *PPFTFTFTFTFTF*

Jake: "Wait a minute... the match! *PFTFTF* completely forgot, and also... where were my friends going?"

After 20 minutes, Jake was returning to the game, in the distance he saw the coach quite angry yelling at Tyler and Leo, Jake tried to return home to avoid the coach yelling at him, but it was too late, he had already noticed Jake's presence.

After 10 minutes of screaming and being ejected from the game, the three teammates found themselves talking about what happened and Jake questioned Tyler about why he fled the game, he did not give him an answer and asked the same to Jake who did not answer either, now the only unknown in all this was to know where Kenny and Devin went.

PS: The following story will be the winner of the votes: "A Roman Public Toilet"

[polaris-likethestar]

how to get your man back: a step-by-step guide by raven - chapter one

hiii so i wrote another story, its a raven x hank fake dating high school au where popular cheerleader raven uses nerdy teen hank to get her boyfriend erik back after he dumps her (raven/hank and charles/erik endgame).

side note this was supposed to be a crack fic but then i took it a bit too seriously so now raven's annoying but in a weird way, sorry about that:) enjoy !!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Its not everyday that your your angsty, bad boy, literal walking-talking-breathing-version-of-a-love-interest-in-a-romance-novel boyfriend of two months, two weeks and four days breaks up with you over phone call. Like, he didn’t even have the audacity to tell you in person?? Okay, so his parents are like super European (he just moved from Germany) and maybe that means that their too strict to let him go visit his girlfriend past nine pm but still. They would have had to understand this was an urgent matter. Your heart was on the line!

Now, naturally you’d be upset and have your brother drive to the nearest whole foods to get your favorite cotton candy ice cream. But, what’s different about you and other people your age who happen to get broken up with over a phone call is that you are not just going to sit there and let your ex have the last laugh. No. Not happening. You are going to come up with a master plan, something no one would have ever assumed you were capable of doing. You’re going to make him so jealous, so furious with….furiousty that he wants you back. But here’s the thing: you’re not going to take him back. Not at first anyway. Give it time. Let the anger really seep through.

This is currently Raven’s plan. And now, you may be wondering, how exactly is she going to execute this plan? Simple. She’s going to find a new man, pay him an absurd amount of money to agree to be her fake boyfriend and take it from there.

And Raven already knows exactly who she wants this new “boyfriend” to be. Enter Hank Mccoy, the smartest kid in the school.

Now, Raven realizes how cliché this is. The popular cheerleader (her) and the nerd (him). They would never actually date on their own, only if there’s some sort of scheme involved. But that’s what’s so smart about it: no one is going to even suspect that she might be up to something. It’s too obvious. And it’s not like she was going to fall in love with Hank by the end…right? Right. Obviously.

So, when her brother returns with the ice cream, 32 minutes later (which, how bad is traffic at this late on a Wednesday night? They live in Westchester, not Los Angeles) she tells him the plan. “Charles, this is so smart, I’m going to have him back in no time.” He sat down next to her on her pink fuzzy rug. “Well, Raven, that’s lovely, but do we know why exactly he broke up with you in the first place?”

Huh. Raven hadn’t asked. Maybe she should have. “Well, I can’t call him now.” She shrugged. “It’s fine, whatever the reason is, he’ll forget about it.” Charles just nodded. Okay, so maybe his intellectual self thought that Raven was being a little bit delusional, but he’ll get it eventually. He has to. It wasn’t so long ago that he was stalking some guy he just met, taking the bus in the opposite direction just to follow him. Then one day he just stopped. Raven never actually found out why. But she wasn’t going to end up like her brother, she wasn’t going to just stop. He was probably just scared. But not Raven. She was going to get exactly what she wanted.

“Okay, well, how do you plan on getting Hank to agree with this?” Charles asked. “Well, aren’t you both on the mathletes? You know him.” Raven said. “He knows who I am. Tell him I want to talk to him. I mean, he’s like, scared of me. He literally wrote my whole essay for finals last year because I asked him to- and don’t look at me like that, Charles, I wasn’t trying to repeat 10th grade again.”

Charles just sighed. “Well, I suppose I could ask him to meet you during lunch time tomorrow. But be sensible about this, Raven, this could end up going really wrong.” Raven just shook her head. “Yeah, but it could end up going really right. Like, me and Erik could get married and have like, really pretty babies. Can you imagine? Oh my god, that’ll be such a fun wedding! I can’t wait! And of course you’re going to be invited. You and Emma and Angel and Moira and Jean and I guess Scott although between you and me, I really hope she dumps him by then, oh and Peter too, and Kurt and if this goes well, maybe even Hank as a thank you. You know what- I’m going to invite the whole school! We could even get a popcorn machine, like, everyone loves popcorn, right? Oh, it’ll be a blast, can you see the vision?”

Raven rambled on and on until Charles was getting visibly annoyed, and she did feel bad, so she let him sleep. But she plugged in her headphones, put her playlist on shuffle, and stayed up dreaming about how life would be like when she got her man back.

The next day, Charles kept his word and talked to Hank. She knew this because he was following her around like a lost puppy. It was kind of amusing at first, but then it just became kind of annoying so she eventually addressed him. “Hi, my brother sent you, right?” she asked. “Uh, yeah.” Hank responded. “I’m kind of confused as to why though?”

Raven smiled. “Alright. So, what I’m going to do is every Friday, starting tomorrow, for the next five weeks I’m going to venmo you $250 and we are going to pretend we are in a relationship and let the whole school believe that and then when it’s time, you dump me. Sound good?”

“Uh, what?” Hank asked. Raven just rolled her eyes; it was literally simple instructions. He’s supposed to be, like, super smart. Probably even more than her brother. “I’m going to pay you and you’re going to fake date me and then we will stage a very public break up where you leave me. Okay?” She tried looking as intimidating as possible, hoping that if the offer of money wasn’t enough, maybe she could scare him into agreeing.

“Um, aren’t you going out with Erik still?” “That’s not important, Hank, what’s important is that I really need this, okay. And I mean, like, it’s not like you have a girlfriend or anything.” Suddenly, Raven’s eyes widened. She never even thought about it. Maybe he did have a girlfriend. That would be awkward. “Wait, you don’t have like, a girlfriend or anything? Right?”

“Uh, no, but why are you doing this? Like, there’s got to be a reason.” Ugh. Why did he have to be so curious? I guess that’s how smart people are or whatever. “Okay, fine. So, like, you can’t tell anyone and I’m serious, no one? But like, Erik kind of dumped and we are supposed to make him jealous. Got it?”

“No, I don’t got it.” He spoke. Now he was getting kind of angry. Not like angry-angry but as angry as a miniature kitty cat could get, the cute kind. Not that he’s cute. The cat is.  Just the cat. “Okay, well.” Raven tried to reason with him. “Uh, how about $300 per week then?” “$350.” He responded. Now, typically, this would be fine, the Xaviers are loaded, but she was curious how hard he was going to fight back.

“$320.” She offered. “No.” He responded. “It’s $350 or nothing.” Raven just scoffed. “Um, okay, why are acting so entitled? Like, I don’t have to pay you at all. It’ll be inconvenient for me if you don’t agree, sure, but it’s not, like, the end of the world. I could find someone else, Hank. You aren’t special. Just because you’re super smart doesn’t mean anything to me, it never did. So, take it or leave it, your choice.” Sure, it was mean, maybe a little bit extra, but Raven never said she was a nice person. She hoped that her little speech would get him to agree, but it didn’t. He went silent. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe it wasn’t worth all this trouble. So, just as she was about to walk away, Hank spoke up.

“You’re right. You don’t need me. Not me in particular, anyways. I’m sure you could easily find some other lonely, geeky, easy-to-bully teenage boy in our school to go along with your little plot. I mean, that’s what you were going for, right? You said it yourself, I’m super smart. So, I have a reputation, obviously. And yeah, it’s the not the best one, but it’s there. You have one too. The popular cheerleader. Can get anyone she wants. Every guy wrapped around her finger. That’s the stereotype, and so far, you’ve been fitting it. So of course, you want a boyfriend and of course you know once it gets out that you’ve been dumped, you’re going to look bad. And this, here, it kind of looks like a charity case, doesn’t it? You know that. And the whole public break up thing makes people feel bad for you, like you trusted me and I betrayed you, and you’ll go running back into his arms. Like you’re the victim. And I’m the bad guy. I’m not stupid, Raven, I see right through you. You know, I’m not even sure if you like him. I wouldn’t put it past you to just date him for the attention, because I know there are people who genuinely want him, and I can tell that you are not one of them. But fine, I will go along with your little scheme, and fine, I will go along with whatever it is you tell me to do but the least you can do is give me the $350 and let me salvage a little bit of respect.”

Okay. So now he’s like, way past kitty cat angry.

“Okay. Fine. Uh, $350 it is.” Raven wasn’t shaken up. She wasn’t hurt. Obviously not. “Okay, um, I’ll text you, okay? My brother will give me your number.” There was an awkward silence, and Hank was getting fidgety. The only positive thing about this besides that Hank agreed is that he visibly wasn’t all that comfortable with lashing out on her.

“Yeah, sure. Bye.” He said, turning on his heel, walking away.

Well, she did it. Part one of the plan is completed. She’s going to have her boyfriend back in no time and that wedding is going to happen. And oh, she can’t wait.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[minionsuncle]

Nothing I could get my rocks off to

Anyway kind of ironic that it’s called downtime when it’s always the most stressful part of the season

[ricky-mortis]

I love playing dress up with the blorbo

[willczek-art]

NPMD Tarot - The Hierophant

Others from the series: The Devil, The Lovers, The Star, Strength, The World

Symbolism + some WIP/alternatives are under the cut C:

My intuition put Grace as the High Priestess, but from what I've read it's more about spirituality and intuition, while the Hierophant is all about strong traditional beliefs and ruling/leading, so it fits her way better! :D

Left side/Beginning has the dance cancellation sign, since that was her mission and Max was her first victim, while on the right/Ending is Jason and the Black Book, her mission and source of power has changed.

Halo= superiority, holy mission, Red as a sign of danger/death to come (which is why the light it's only on the boys)

She's sitting on what's supposed to be the bleachers C:

Doodles:

[fencecollapsed]

I feel so defensive when I see people talk smack about Dirty Girl, it's legitimately one of my favorite songs in the entire series, get behind me Dirty Girl I'll protect you-

[thewhizzyhead]

So like one common theme when discussing bullying is the tendency for bullies to project their insecurities on their victims right? like them taking their own shit out on the people they bully?

so i know that may not be exaaaactly the case with Max Jagerman in Nerdy Prudes Must Die like the dude even in the afterlife just really fuckin likes terrorising the shit out of people due to his god complex BUUUUT what I found very interesting was when in the Nerdy Prudes Must Die sequence, he was telling Richie to repeat after him: "Who will pray for me when my body's gone or until another Richie comes along?" And mind you, this song comes directly after another musical sequence about all the teens in that high school being so fucking happy that Max was gone. And like, well yea you can't blame the kids for being happy that Top Terrorizer #1 is gone and that they don't have to abide by his social strata anymore - but then again, having nobody pray or give a fuck about Max after him being mysteriously missing for 2 weeks is,,kinda fucked up for Max no matter the kind of person he is. So, to see someone he victimised get the attention and appreciation I would assume Max would've wanted from his team especially after being missing for so long - it really does seem to me that he was projecting onto Richie when he was about to kill him and making him feel how little he will matter to other people when he dies - like what he could've felt after literally everyone considered the high school "objectively better" now that Max was gone.

Which makes things a whole lot more interesting when Max snaps out of his WHO WILL PRAY FOR YOU solo when Richie belts out I'M NOT A LOSER - henceforth defying the idea of worthlessness Max was projecting onto Richie. So damn.

[unvexes]

SHAKER CHARM (and sticker pack) INTEREST CHECK

i’ve had this idea floating around in my head for a bit so i wanted to see how interested people are with actually purchasing a physical version of the charm or stickers!

(please note that 1: the charm design is not final, but the final version will be similar in concept, and 2: filling out the form does not bind you to buying it, it’s just a way for me to gage interest!)

[abadarkade]

No one's talking about the gut wrenching emotion of "I used to dance... I used to dance" and I won't stand for it

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Ted: [about Peter] I’ve done the best I could to raise you! Have I been perfect? No. Ted: Do I know anything about children? No! Ted: Should I have picked up a book on parenting? Probably! Peter: Ted: Where was I going with this? I had a point.

[lesbitching]

it’s nowhere near the worst interpretation and i do understand how it could be assumed or even be compelling if you’re very interested in the lords in black but one of my biggest pet peeves is the interpretation that the lords in black are manipulating grace and deliberately driving her to where she ends up the entire play. such a big part of what makes grace work is her role as the driving force in the play, an active agent who’s actions directly lead to all the calamity and tragedy that occurs later through sheer religious guilt, desperation and neuroticism. taking even some of that autonomy away from her makes her significantly less compelling.