#they are both idiots your Honor
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lydiablackblade · 5 months ago
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Crowley sacrificed his precious baby Bentley without thinking because he had to save Aziraphale
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Aziraphale sacrificed his precious baby bookshop without thinking because he had to save Crowley
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Tell me they are not in love if you dare. TELL ME.
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ogdegenerate · 5 months ago
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Bowser has shit pick up lines.
This is not me saying that Bowser has no rizz, infact he’s very handsome in koopa standards and can be very swave when he wants to be. The thing is that his confidence and presentation is the only thing making up his charisma.
I shit you not, bowser will say the most corniest, cringiest, and downright left field shit to you and grin as if he was a poetic genius.
Peach tries not to laugh out of sheer awkwardness because bowser WILL take it as a successful flirt. The only people who have the balls to point out the koopa king’s lack of game is Mario, Daisy, Kamek, and the older koopalings. (Wendy is very mean about it). Everyone else is either too afraid to tell it to the king’s face or is actually caught up in Bowser’s hype.
Now LUIGI is the only of very few people to actually get verbally seduced by bowser. Luigi doesn’t really have any standards of pick up lines, pretty much because he barely gets complemented and even gets flirted on even less. He also find the goofiness very charming. The first time Bowser flirted with Luigi, he got really flustered, and the koopa kings ego grew three times as big to the dismay of everyone.
Luigi: “Mario, He’s not-a THAT bad!”
Mario: “Mio fratello, the princess with her explosive speech is better with her words!”
Now you think that since bowser can dish it out as much as he can take, and you’d pretty much be right. As royalty, people do sing his praises and talk about how hot he is. But you had to see the flabbergasted face of King Bowser once Luigi muster up the courage to flirt back. It was like if a cave man discovered FIRE. Bowser’s entire face was redder than his hair and eyes. Reptile brain full on blue screened. He was hooked.
And no, luigi isn’t this secret love master, he (and mario) just has that autistic rizz. And bowser not having his feelings reciprocated to someone he was romantically interested for most of his life played a big part in that.
At this point it’s a game of quick draw, whoever flirts first makes the other a red puddle of giggles with a belly full of butterflies.
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daydreamerwonderkid · 8 months ago
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Yeah, I'm still thinking about these two :3
Obligatory click for better quality
You do NOT have permission to repost my art.
Meme reference under cut
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amielot · 3 months ago
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Touch starved round 2
Dream: Who kicked that? Not me.
Bonus:
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goodomensao3tagoftheday · 4 months ago
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natalievoncatte · 28 days ago
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Lena didn’t mean to overhear. She was at the bar to grab a drink, and was taking it when she noticed Kara and Alex conspiring intently together. It was a private moment, a sister moment, so she shouldn’t have listened, and yet she did anyway.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I don’t want to ruin your wedding.”
“You’re not, kiddo. This isn’t the wedding, this is just a little night out. I’ll be happy if we get through the ceremony without a bridge collapse or an alien invasion or whatever.”
Everyone was having a good time. Kelly was with James, who’d come in from out of town for the ceremony tomorrow. Nia leaned back to Brainy as she made a giggling attempt to hit the dart board. The other guests were milling about, mingling and chatting and getting tipsy.
Lena felt more than a little maudlin, because Kara was hanging with Alex and that left Lena alone in the crowd.
“I’m so happy for you,” Kara was saying, “I just hope I get it myself some day.”
“You’ll find someone, Kara. You’re a beautiful, amazing person- not Supergirl, you.”
Lena pretended not to notice them, nursing her scotch. (A double, neat)
“That’s just it,” Kara choked out. “There is someone, Alex. There already is. She just won’t ever want me like I want her.”
Lena looked up in absolute shock and at the absolutely, perfectly wrong time. Alex’s eyes met hers, her expression as shocked as Lena’s was.
Rushing away from the bar, Lena headed for the pinball machines, not looking back. She downed the rest of her scotch in a coal-hot rush and it only added to the churning in her belly. She swallowed hard and her throat was instantly dry, and she cursed the afterburn of the liquor.
“You heard her.”
Lena wheeled. Alex was standing behind her, a beer in either hand. She handed one to Lena.
“You know what they say about liquor after beer,” said Lena.
“Lena, we both have advanced degrees and we both know that’s bullshit.”
That was good, because Lena downed half the brew in one long pull.
“Jesus,” said Alex. “I was trying to get you to slow down.”
“Yeah, well,” said Lena. “I’m Irish.”
Alex snorted. “You’re deflecting. You heard what she said.”
“Maybe.”
Alex rolled her eyes. “I’ve been through five fucking years of this and I’ve had enough, Lena.”
“Enough of what?”
“Kara’s wrong about your feelings.”
Lena blinked, took another pull. “How do you know she means me?”
Alex looked at her flatly.
“How do I know it’s you? Because she always rescues you. She’s always defended you. She gave you chance after chance and never gave up even when you were at your worst. Kara would die for you. A fifth dimensional imp offered to grant her wish and she didn’t wish for her planet or her parents or to have our dad back. She wished for you. For a second chance.”
“Fifth dimensional what?”
“She reversed time for you, Lena.”
Lena gaped at her.
“What do you mean? She did what?”
“She made me swear never to tell. There was a time when she was too slow, when she was already in the middle of a disaster when you got shot. She’s the only one who remembers that timeline because she fixed it. She flew at superluminal speed and went backwards in time so she could be in two places at once. Apparently a Kryptonian can do that, but she swears it can only be done the one time.”
Lena’s beer was sloshing in the bottle from the shaking of her hands.
“For God’s sake, Lena. I know you’re in love with her. You two had a bad breakup without even dating first. You spent a billion dollars to hang out with her at work. You filled her office with flowers. You let her in, you let her bring you into our family, and you forgave her for doing something really fucked up and you forgave me for pushing her to do it.”
Alex clapped a hand on her shoulder.
“Lena, sack up and go get your girl. She’s at the bar crying into a Shirley Temple because I cut her off. She’s waiting for you.”
Lena stared at her.
“Alex, I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. Go. Get. Her.”
Lena looked at her beer, downed the last of it, and gave Alex a curt nod, marching past her.
Kara was sitting at the bar. She was dressed in skinny jeans and a loose N’Sync t-shirt and leather sandals. She was among friends here and had removed her glasses, her hair in a sloppy ponytail. She looked like she’d rather sulk at home than party.
Lena hopped on the stool next to her.
“Hey.”
“Hi, Lee. Having fun?”
“Not really,” said Lena. She waved the bartender away as he approached to offer her another drink. “I’m kind of down honestly.”
“Weddings always depress me,” said Lena. “Watching other people get all the happiness I’ll never have, basking in their joy for a while. It’s like sitting by the fire in someone else’s house, but eventually you have to go home to your own and it’s empty.”
Kara’s eyes glittered with tears. “Yeah. It does feel like that, doesn’t it?”
Lena rested her hand on Kara’s wrist.
“May I have this dance?”
Kara looked up sharply.
“This isn’t really a dancing kind of place.”
Lena snorted. “I’m a billionaire. I can do what I want.”
She slipped off her stool and offered Kara a hand.
Kelly and Alex had reunited. They were talking animatedly, and Alex pointed at Lena. Suddenly she rushed over to the jukebox as Lena took Kara’s hand and led her to an open space.
The music changes to Wonderful Tonight. Eric Clapton.
Lena was going to kill Alex.
“Huh,” said Kara.
It seemed natural that Kara would lead, being taller and more graceful by far, but Lena put a hand on her hip and rested the other on her shoulder, wondering if Kara could feel her pounding pulse through her palms.
It started with them like middle schoolers, half a foot awkwardly apart, movements jerky, but it quickly changed. Lena didn’t know who bridged that gap first but soon they were pressed body to body, Kara tilted forward to rest her forehead against Lena’s.
Lena went from chastely pressing a guiding hand to Kara’s flank to an arm looped lazily around her hips, hand resting gently against her ass. Her other hand moved from Kara’s shoulder to her neck, thumb grazing Kara’s jawline.
Kara, hesitantly, reciprocated, less dancing with Lena and more swaying with her in a meandering hug. They were so close that Lena’s head swam.
“Do you remember when you first got back from the Phantom Zone?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget,” said Kara. “When I came back and I saw you standing there, I could barely take it. You looked like an angel.”
Lena nodded gently, nudging closer to Kara until she could feel the presence of the other woman’s lips without touching.
“You looked like you wanted to kiss me.”
Kara’s entire body went briefly rigid, then relaxed.
“You could have,” Lena whispered. “You could have and I’d have kissed you back. I swear I can think of a dozen times when you were about to kiss me and I wanted it right then, I wanted it so bad.”
Kara choked back a small sob. “I remember the first time I thought about it. It was when Morgan Edge was framing you and you were so upset, you were crying. You were so sad and beautiful and soft and I wanted to kiss you right then. I wanted to make you feel better any way I could.”
“That would have been a great time.”
Kara laughed. “That would have been a good time. Maybe the best time.”
“The second best time is now.”
Lena looked up. They were holding each other now and Lena knew there were eyes on them, that their friends were watching.
Kara didn’t seem to notice or care. There was a fresh sparkle in her eyes, wide and nervous, her lips trembling in a half smile. She didn’t seem to know what to make of what Lena said, perhaps questioning if she’d heard right.
Poor Kara, her Kara, would find any excuse to steal the happiness from her own hands, to martyr herself, to seek penance for a crime that she never committed. Lena knew her guilt, felt in sing in her own soul like a kind of magnetic resonance.
Lena Luthor did not believe in silly things like soulmates or fate or destined lovers.
But she believed in Kara Danvers, and Kara Danvers kissed her. Lena barely registered it at first, so gentle was the brushing of Kara’s soft lips against her own. She gave Kara no chance to retreat into embarrassment or confusion, kissing her back so intensely that there could be no mistaking the intent. When she did, it was like seeing the stars for the first time, and a pleasant warmth pooled low in the cradle of her hips.
Kissing Kara felt like coming home.
They were staring at each other. Lena drank the sight of Kara staring at her, shocked expression full of an elation, a pure excited joy that magnified her stunning beauty a thousandfold until Lena thought she might die of pure love for this woman that she held in her arms. She went in for another kiss and this time, neither hesitated.
Alex’s voice cut through it all. “Hey, you two. Get a room.”
She was by the jukebox, grinning ear to ear despite Kelly’s scowl. Before either of them could react, Alex dropped a coin in the jukebox and played… the fucking Macarena.
“I don’t know whether to murder her or send her a gift basket,” Lena snapped.
Kara curled a finger around Lena’s chin and their eyes locked.
“Maybe we should get a room,” Kara whispered.
Lena swallowed hard.
“What are we waiting for?”
Kara took her hand, and stuck out her tongue at her sister as they left the bar.
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sasunarualways · 7 months ago
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jedi-starbird · 8 months ago
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No one ever tells Obi-Wan that he is his Master's padawan.
Of course, for most people who had known Qui-Gon Jinn, telling someone else they resembled the the man would in fact be a thinly veiled insult. But still, Obi-Wan feels the absence of comparisons almost as strongly as he feels the absence of his Master.
There is no one for Obi-Wan to push against now, no strong presence at his side, ready to grab him by scruff and pull him back from another reckless stunt. It's an odd feeling. He has been set loose against his wishes. There is no one to his left and Anakin at his heels, but Anakin had needed, still needs, a strong, gentle figure for his prickly but sensitive heart. For even their worst bickering could not hold a candle to the scathing remarks he and Qui-Gon had shot at each other and Obi-Wan knows he cannot push and needle Anakin in the same way.
When Qui-Gon had been alive they had been an amusing, mirrored pair, the maverick and his rule-following padawan. Opposites clashing against each other, yet working together to complete the most difficult missions. Few saw that Qui-Gon's impertinence had indeed rubbed off on his padawan, cultivated from that small, angry initiate, because the only way to rebel against the rule-breaker had been to parrot the Council fastidiously. No one would ever get to see that again. Obi-Wan is one half of a mirrored pair trying to complete a routine on his own. What once was an impish, teasing compliance is now a betrayal of all his Master's values.
"How could Qui-Gon raise such a model Jedi?" He hears them say, "It's admirable that Master Kenobi was appointed to the Council despite his Master's maverick ways."
Padawan Kenobi would have yelled and kicked and screamed. Master Kenobi is serene. It should feel like an achievement. It feels like a disappointment.
Sometimes, Obi-Wan looks at the shape of the man he has moulded himself into, and aches to be his Master's padawan.
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softiedingo · 2 months ago
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whenever Charles is asked to choose a side:
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solarmorrigan · 1 year ago
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“Get your ass off my counter.”
“Nah.”
Steve huffs. “I literally just wiped that down. Now you’ve got whatever the hell you’ve been sitting in all over it.”
“What the hell do you think I’ve been sitting in?” Eddie asks, one brow raised.
“I don’t know, that’s the problem,” Steve grumbles. “Why do you even need to be up there?”
“I like feeling taller,” Eddie says, sitting up straight to emphasize the few inches of height that sitting on the kitchen island has given him over Steve. “I am king of all I survey.”
Steve rolls his eyes, turning away to finish wiping down the rest of the counters. “King of the assholes, maybe.”
“Aw, baby, you’re giving me your old title?” Eddie asks, voice gone saccharine sweet.
“Oh, fuck off.” Steve turns and whips his sponge at Eddie, who fends it off with his hands, laughing.
“Look, I just think there are much more interesting things you could be doing than cleaning the kitchen,” Eddie says, and Steve can feel his eyes burning on him as he bends to pick up the sponge.
“Oh, yeah?” Steve asks drily. “Enlighten me. What could I be doing that’s oh-so-interesting?”
“I mean,” Eddie leans back on his hands, giving Steve his best roguish grin (he actually calls it that; he uses it when he’s acting out what he thinks of as particularly dashing characters while DMing), “I’ve been told that I’m pretty interesting.”
“That’s one word for it,” Steve says.
Eddie shrugs. “Just giving you the facts, sweetheart.”
“Uh huh. So the interesting thing you think I should be doing is you?” Steve drawls.
“That was the implication, yes.” Eddie nods, smirking down at Steve.
Steve can’t quite help the smile he answers with; sue him, Eddie’s cute when he’s being obvious. “Alright, sure.”
Eddie blinks at him. “Wait, really?”
“Did you want me to say no?” Steve asks, crossing back over to the kitchen island.
“No, no! I just figured I’d have to drop at least one more terrible innuendo before you gave in,” Eddie says.
“Maybe I’m just feeling easy tonight,” Steve says, stepping right up to the island so that he’s standing between Eddie’s legs.
“Yeah?” Eddie asks, looking down at him from his perch.
“Mm.”
Steve reaches up and cups one hand around the back of Eddie’s neck before lifting up onto his toes to close the distance between them, meeting Eddie’s lips in a kiss that he immediately opens up to, making it deep and slick.
He drops back onto his heels when his calves start to burn, and Eddie tries to follow his mouth with a little whine. Steve smiles.
“We can go upstairs and do whatever you want,” he murmurs, looking up at Eddie through his lashes, “just as soon as you clean the counter for me.”
Eddie’s brows furrow, his mind jerked suddenly from the hazy space Steve’s kiss had put it in, all the more startled when Steve shoves the sponge into his hands.
“You can’t be serious,” he says flatly.
Leaning up against the opposite counter, Steve crosses his arms over his chest and says nothing, watching expectantly.
“You are serious,” Eddie concludes.
“The faster you get your ass print off my counter, the faster we can go upstairs,” Steve says.
Eddie slides off the counter with the world’s most petulant sigh and reaches for the cleaner when Steve holds the bottle out to him.
“…show you an ass print,” he’s grumbling as he wipes the kitchen island down again.
“Sounds hot. Save it for the bedroom, babe,” Steve says, laughing when it’s Eddie who turns to throw the sponge at him this time.
[Prompt: Standing on your tip toes to reach your partner's lips]
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corpusdiem-seizethedead · 3 months ago
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Angel: Husk let me fell asleep with my head in his lap and kissed my cheek when I woke up. He's so cute. I wish he liked me.
Cherri: *looks into the camera like she's on The Office*
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mellidee · 1 year ago
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Meet Noirah (she/her), my half-wood elf, selunite cleric of light :)
Acolyte and kinda Sage (can't be both sadly, playing Acolyte), she traveled around spreading the word of Selune and helping people before a worm rudely got in her eye.
She and Wyll love seeing each other smile 💕
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plus-pirate · 4 months ago
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Alastor & Lucifer + Pushing Each Other Away
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jheselbraum · 1 year ago
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"Zelda loves Link and is stressing about it because surely Link, hero of Hyrule, her favored knight, appointed for her protection, and her closest companion and confidante, doesn't actually harbor romantic feelings for her. Meanwhile, Link is running around in the background devoting 110% of his being to her and would do anything for her and has actually already confessed, like, five times Zelda just didn't pick up on it because she was overthinking it" and "Link loves Zelda and is stressing about it because surely Zelda, Sage of Time, princess of Hyrule, who must marry royal blood, who lives with Link in his fucking house, who has 10,000 years worth of faith and trust in him, who even as a dragon after she lost her self protected Link, his closest companion and confidante, doesn't actually harbor romantic feelings for him. Meanwhile, Zelda is running around in the background toppling the monarchy and reforging the societal fabric of Hyrule so they can be together. She's also confessed like, five times but Link hasn't picked up on it because he's overthinking it" are two concepts that can coexist
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cannibalhellhound · 5 months ago
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More of @screaming-universe dragon au because cat sized dragon Eddie means everything to me
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accio-sriracha · 1 year ago
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That's the thing about love isn't it? It isn't always supposed to work. This bright, wide eyed Gryffindor and this broken, stiff postured Slytherin. They were never meant to be.
Love was supposed to be easy.
But it wasn't easy.
For Potter, it was a deep ache in his chest as they passed in the hall. It was a hope he had to remind himself to forget every morning when he woke up.
It was searching the map for that name, his name.
This love was forbidden. It was one he knew his friends would disapprove of.
But he couldn't help it.
He loved this boy with all his soul.
This boy who had no choice. This boy who learned to trust in all the wrong people, to feel in all the wrong ways.
He loved those cold, silver eyes, loved the feeling that shot through him when they connected with his own.
He loved that he could list everything about him, and that his eyes were the only hint at an emotion behind his mask of indifference.
He loved that when they bickered there was always a slight tilt to his lips, like they were taunting each other, like the other felt this strange feeling too.
Quidditch was a nightmare. Watching the other's perfect poise, his eyes darting around the stadium for the snitch.
It was a miracle he'd kept his focus at all during the matches against Slytherin.
Potter loved him in a way that consumed him.
He was entirely obsessed and, honestly, couldn't bring himself to care.
It was hopeless, maybe even a little reckless.
But you don't chose who you fall for.
And, since he was being honest, he would chose him again and again every chance he was given.
~~~♤~~~
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