#they are all very 90s but im not really taken in by many of the 2020s assessments

[fideidefenswhore]

“Jane was a willing tool whose personality it is more than kind to describe as ‘pliable.’” - Eric Ives

“Her conduct, first as a royal lady-in-waiting and later as a queen, indicates that she was more of a steel magnolia - a fragrant, seemingly fragile, ultra feminine exterior concealing a tensile core.” - Leslie Carroll

“Any woman setting out on the course Jane Seymour would follow over the next few months would have had to be possessed of both strength and resolution, as well as driving ambition and a flexible conscience." - Alison Weir

“Not much is known about Jane’s character, ['the mild and pliable’ Jane]. Most likely her meekness was exaggerated in the official documents in order to draw a strong distinction between this gentlewoman-queen and the other one, but certainly she was compliant enough to do just as she was told by her brother and his wife [...]” - Nicola Shulman 

‘[This] characterization of ambition without flex of conscience [...] how far from the truth was that interpretation when one considers her double image and moral callousness?” - Pamela M. Gross

‘Jane Seymour was (apparently) more pliable than her mistress. Carew [and others] facilitated the courtship of Jane by offering lodgings [...]” - Tracy Borman

[ahmadshamia]

My life and my family's life is in your hands

Hi everyone hop this find you very well and you all read my sade story

I am ahmad 22 years old im a palestinian student in 4th level of dentistry college , i was fully of Passion and love my life and dreaming benig an excellent dentist in this life

After the war has started Our beautiful home has been destroyed, we have been displaced from our country, and all our lifelines have been taken away from us.

My family now live in the badest conditions that no one could imagine and no one could live 🥺

They are now living in tents without any necessities of life in a very polluted environment full of diseases. 🤕😷

My father, Jamal Hussein Shamia, He is a criminal lawyer

He is currently in Gaza , He is suffering of many diseases hypertension and diabetic mellitus and Muscle spasms and always got shocked and coma

He is disabled man and need Personal health care🥺

Unfortunately, my father was injured in the war and suffered a very serious injury, which was a blood clot in the hip joint area, which caused him many infections and the infection spread in the area.

My family are burning from the high heat of the sun and there is nothing to protect them from that, there is no drinkable water and they have no food to eat

I created my link to get fund to evacuate my family from war zone and to have better life

Time is runing out and My campaign is going very badly 🥹

I’m really lost hope that this campaign will save my family , because invasion of Rafah is approaching 💔

Please do your best 🙏🙏

Please donate to reach our target as soon as possible

🔀 1100 SEK = 100 $

Every single dollar $ gonna have difference

I hope my family to evacuate #Gaza soon. 🙏

My account vetted by

@gazavetters no#82

I would like to inform you that my account is vetted from @sylvianritual by publish in this post that im close to @dodoomar12345who is vetted from @90-ghost here

@pcktknife @palestinegenocide @plomegranate @punkitt-is-here @northgazaupdates2 @el-shab-hussein @nabulsi @sar-soor @sayruq @helpingg @horrorhorizon @heydreamchild @terezbian @tamamita @everydaylouie @palipunk @queerstudiesnatural @onedollopofsourcream @relelvance @itslucyhenley @jackrackhams @just-browsing1222 @junosaccount @what-even-is-thiss @wildandmoody @walaaibrahim @arabian-batboy @soon-palestine @gazafunds

[mackmp3]

mack-anthology-of-noise -> mack-anthology-mp3 -> mackmp3

hello i'm mack :]

welcome to my blog it is terrible!

here i post about. things. that appear in my mind. and exit it in tumblr form. mostly music and art related! (hopefully)

i am a lesbian (possibly aspec not sure), she/her/his (they is okay if you forget) (i like mostly she/her with a little bit of he - like she/her first if that makes sense). i am also butch! boydyke or something idkkkk but also not quite. boy in a girl way. or something <3

i am a teenager still! so please don't be weird yknow. i'm from aotearoa new zealand and am pākehā (white)

i am a musician! i play bass, guitar and sing in descending order of proficiency hehe. i can also do harmonica, thank you folk music phase, and i'll attempt piano. i write songs too! all audio recordings are under #musicking , hopefully they are cool :)

i also draw and paint! at the moment A Lot of it is of doctor who characters, so check out my other blog for that (linked further down), but all of other stuff is tagged under #my art ! i have actually improved quite a bit recently i think which is nice

i'm not really comfortable with dms but if you'd like to say hi or talk about / rec some music or just tell me something, please send an ask! I would love to hear from you! (if you've sent me a dm pls don't stress about it, i'd just rather not talk privately, thank you for your consideration)

it would be great if i wasn't followed by people over 30, for my own comfort - this is at my discretion, lots of you are chill. i intend no offense if i block you <3 also like. please no bigots not that any would listen to that. thanks.

my music i am normal about

pj harvey // radiohead // patti smith // joan baez // bob dylan <- my top five ever. i think. maybe. subject to change.

post punk // industrial // 90s indie // shoegaze // 60s & 70s folk & folk rock // garage rock // psychedelica // goth // dunedin sound // new wave // no wave // electronic

currently listening to more goth music & the i saw the tv glow soundtrack

pleaseeeeee talk to me about music i can and will make you a playlist on any vibe if you would like <3

media yippee

doctor who has taken over my mind! if you want to see generally mildly unhinged thoughts about the show & random bits of the eu & 1271927 art reblogs i will direct you to @butchtwelfthdoctor which is 98% doctor who atm hehe. i put my fanart there too.

you can look at my letterboxd if you so desire but i will admit i don't watch nearly as many films as i would like. my last.fm also but it doesnt pick up when im listening to the stuff ive got downloaded so. not particularly accurate. also here's my neocities (very much a work in progress)

the starless sea (favouritest book ever) // we have always lived in the castle // this is how you lose the time war // salt lick //m train (any of patti smith's books honestly) // bob dylan's chronicles // vampire science

the sideblog is @mackerel-like-the-fish for stuff that's not as on theme - if we're mutuals feel free to follow that! i mean anyone can follow it if you like but don't expect quality content lol

[fellowshipofthenoodles]

So I don't really know what to do, one of my cresties has decided to not use his hides or the plants he usually uses (he squishes himself behind them while he's sticking to the wall) and he's instead opted to just stick to a small empty piece of glass wall and at first I didn't worry because he would stick his tail to the glass but today his tail was hanging like he had FTS, I've been trying to cluter his tank more ever since he started sleeping there but he doesn't seem to care, he'll just squeeze himself back into the same spot, I've been wanted to get one of those 3d printed hides but I don't really know what size I should get, I'll attach two pictures

I just don't know why he specifically likes that spot (also sorry they're blurry, I have really shakey hands) he also frequently uses the plants in the back to hide but he's stopped for some reason. (Also his tail is no longer down because I used a branch above him to pin his tail to the wall, not like it's pined pined but it's just laying against the glass now) also I know the bottom is a bit open, I just re-organized it and I've been second guessing it but if you have any ideas please let me know, thank you.

Sorry for the second ask but I actually got a creative urge and I put in an extra vine, along withe the light vine, and then I put in another big plant, I just tried to clutter it as much as I could in hopes he sleeps somewhere else, and i know its not the best, I have the worst time trying to find stuff, im probably going to put some real sticks in there at some point, I just have a hard time figuring out the type of tree

-

Sorry for a 4th ask but I had gotten a picture of his pelvic region and I was wondering if it was normal, I had panicked because it was so rare for his tail to fall like that, especially at a 90° angle when it usually fell at a 48° angle. Again sorry for so many asks

Hello! So sorry for how long this has taken @crestiegeckos - lots of irl stuff going on for us as well as asks being weird sometimes.

So it’s possible that it’s FTS if he doesn’t often go on horizontal surfaces or doesn’t have enough horizontal surfaces to be on where he feels safe/comfortable - this is why things like branches and bridges are so important for cresties (and other arboreal geckos). For branches you just need something like cork bark or you can use I think Java wood, bog wood or mopani - any wood that isn’t toxic and can withstand high humidity.

However some geckos don’t enjoy horizontal surfaces even with access to them. Some just end up with FTS because they prefer to be on the glass like that - we’ve seen it occasionally in groups on Facebook.

Saying all this though, sometimes gecko tails can and do go at a weird angle with without FTS. We can regularly see various geckos we own with their tails at weird angles, it doesn’t mean FTS it just means they can move their tails and they aren’t always straight out or curled around them.

But I do also have to say that it could be any number of things and we aren’t qualified to say whether or not it is FTS, something else or nothing. If you see it repeatedly or are worried then I recommend a vet visit. Also try not to disturb your gecko too often with enclosure changes, that can cause a lot of stress to keep adding or moving things around and will make it very hard to settle - try to leave it at least a few weeks between each change so he can adjust to what you’ve done already and try not to make changes while they’re in the enclosure.

I hope this helps.

[cathalbravecog]

(random ramble at it again)

ugh i need to feed into like my literal fav aesthetic ever but i like to think of suitopia as basically one big country (but it seems to be almost like an endless city if that makes sense?) with different districts and one of them would be a lot like the cyber world from dr chapter 2 (my other world development autism fixation sorry) all more modern and glowy with billboards and advertisements everywhere. like there's a lot of more old school cogs but more modern ones like pace would be, for example. this district being based more on how advertising really is nowadays in big cities rather than "boring business guys"

yknow more on the BRIGHT GLOWY ADVERTISING YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ANYWHERE BUY OUR THINGS BUY OUR THINGS BUY OUR THINGSSSSSSS type deal. id say its on the sellbot side however in how i see things the cog departments are mostly a cogs inc thing. id have to explain my hcs more further and actually develop this part a bit more but.

yall seeing my vision right

(also where my next planned cog oc is . i have been working on him for months and by for months i worked on em for a few days then picked up other things to do. but theyre very 90s web and vaporwave based. bit similar vibes to graham but taken to the extreme with a less canon design as its an oc without canon limits. an area like this that im describing would fit them so well)

plus it ties into my idea that suitopia isnt as bleak as cogs inc is - its mostly just... how robert has it in his ways. he's not the best boss and prefers older ways and being very strict.

like most stuff in suitopia is, well.. a lot like our world. still capitalism hell! but not as hellishly strict as robert makes it out to be with RAA NO BREAK LOVE UR BOSS!!!! (nobody follows that ever) (so its a bit more chill anyway) (but what i mean the cogs inc living environment is different from the rest of the cog places. there could be more than suitopia but again thats why i imagine it more as a country thats all in one place with individual cogs going out sometimes obviously but thats their main hub. while toons have many places around and toontown is one of em does that make sense)

ANYWAYS thats my excuse for if i ever draw shit in cool areas i wanna draw but with tewtow characters lolol

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey! its it ok if i just speak here a bit? feel free to delete if not

i’m a syskid but i feel like i don’t really relate to most things for littles, as i’m very independent and generally a bit older than most stuff is aimed at (i’m between 11-13). i have all of the body’s memories, even if i can’t think about certain things, so i can come off even older to outsiders combined with our autism and general not remembering being that age

our system struggled a lot with being taken seriously when we were my age, so i dont really front much or interact with little-focused spaces mainly because they feel demeaning to all of us. luckily irl i mainly just look like we’re being Extra Autistic. mainly i struggle with both wanting to be treated like the age i actually am while still being independent. i want to be able to do colouring pages and make potions and speak like i want to and still have people respect my ability to think for myself. looking at content aimed at a general little audience feels like all the worst parts of being a kid, and i know that most of it is made for younger kids by systems with littles, but it still annoys me that there isn’t really a “mainstream” tag or term for people like me that isn’t 90% sanrio aesthetic binkies and advice posts covered in clip-art which always have “get an adult to help” with basic tasks. I just want a well-known term that doesn’t make people immediately think im a toddler that needs hand-holding through everything, or that i’m faking because i sound “too old” to be a sys-kid.

at least i have my family and partner system, who are very good about supervising without telling me what to do, sorry if this made no sense

- Mae (no pronouns / name-as-pronouns), with help from mom

Hi, Mae! We have a syskid in our system who’s 11, and your experience really resonates with them! It was also really felt by our host, who is 14 (and cofronting right now). It’s true there aren’t many spaces for systeens, systweens, or middles that we know of, and that really is a tragedy. You mentioned you wish there was a well-known term for littles like you, and any of those words (systeens, systweens, or middles) may apply!

There really should be more representation for older syskids out there… If any of our followers run or maintain a space for systeens/systweens/middles on Tumblr, please feel free to reach out. We would love to put together a blog like this, but that may be a bit much for us to take on (what with our like 12 other sideblogs and all!).

Best of luck to you though, Mae! You seem like a bright kid, and we’re sorry you’ve been struggling to be taken seriously! You’re always welcome to vent or ramble to us here, and we’ll do our best to listen and provide support. Take care, and have a great day!!

🌸 Margo and 💫 Parker

[pommunist]

i hope i dont sound like i am immediately picking apart what you said because i basically agree with 99% of it i just wanted to add a couple of thoughts i had (this got so much longer than i intended i am so sorry)

I don’t like how he said to be mindful about the intentions of people who raised the question, because a lot of them had genuine concern about it being a possibility and this could have been a very serious and dangerous thing if it had been true.

i fully agree with what you said here - however i feel like the death threats/harassment he was getting kinda justifies what he was saying to an extent. in his position, i doubt he is looking at each and every account to figure out whether the individual was coming from a place of concern or was adding onto the harassment. i don't think outright dismissing things like this is a good idea so to speak, but to me it does make sense, from his pov, to tell people to be mindful. many of those people were coming from a place of concern, but i can see how some of it could have came off as less than such in addition to the threats he was getting even though they were mostly separate situations. if this hadn't been the case it would have rubbed me more in the wrong way, but i can understand why he would say it in this scenario even if its like :/.

however this is something i would encourage of everyone - he is not wrong to basically be saying check the source of where you are getting your information from. i would say 90% of the people talking about it were acting in good faith, but that is not always the case, and people acting in bad faith can still have good points that should be taken seriously. it is just something that i think everyone should take note of - in any situation everyone is going to have bias and if you're going to take someones words as fact you should recognize that. that goes for quackity's words too. he is obviously biased in one way in this situation which doesnt mean he is lying in every word he says, but take that into account when looking at what he says. same goes for the admins who speak out you know?

And great that he’s saying that there has been some restructuring made within the team, and hopefully these changes will only leave the studios with competent people who are good intentioned towards everyone involved. I won’t like though, I fail to see how asking for everyone’s feedback and taking it into account to make these changes wasn’t an option. Also the fact that this restructuring ended up causing them to massively letting go of all the twitter teams as well as some other admins is still an issue.

this is a double edged sword imo - im gonna take it in two parts. he says that the restructuring is good and full of people who are good intentioned, but there really is no way to know that? i am under the assumption that he thought the first set of people were good and they weren't, and im not saying we can't trust these people/his judgement, but there truly is no way to know until things progress. id like to trust that the new management is good, but im wary just because of everything and it is hard to put trust into the new managment without seeing anything come out of it. i know these things take time, but its hard to blindly trust that these guys are good when there is nothing to prove it.

on the twitter admins/other admins, as much as i do not agree with it, it does make sense. it sucks and i hate that it happened, but it was pretty clear that financially keeping the same amount of admins on the team wasn't going to work. removing the twitter admins seems like a logical choice (i loved what they did. i wish they weren't removed. but in the grand scheme of things it does make sense to let them go first because even if it sucks the life and some of the fun out of it, their jobs were not essential to keeping the server running) but the way it was gone about was so... not it. the way they were all informed of how they were fired was just not good. point blank not good. i dont know if there was a way to keep them on while being able to pay them, im inclined to believe at the moment he probably wasn't lying and there wasn't, but it doesnt change the fact that that situation was not handled well. they could have let them go with more communication to the situation. thats what bothers me the most.

Meanwhile people will discuss these topics that are so far removed from the main issue and focus less on what the admins went through.

THIS!!! i do understand why people have brought talks about lore and stuff into this conversation - it highlights what the admins went through using tangible examples lol, but part of me wishes they hadn't because exactly as you said. people focus on these issues and not the other ones! it happened at the start of this too, where people focus on the lore/story related problems (which isn't a wrong thing to point out) but in doing so kinda push away the other issues even if that isnt the intent. sharing these stories was not to complain about pushing x creators lore to the front and holding y creator's back but to highlight some of the conditions and i wish that didn't get misconstrued as much as i feel like it has.

Hey anon ! sorry if i took so long to answer but I’ve wanted to take the time to answer everyone of your point !

-I can also see where he was coming from, and I also don’t doubt that there were bad intentioned people in the lot (thinking of a particular group of people, i think you can guess who 🟩). It’s just that it paints people who have genuine criticism/concern as just being haters, and it’s not the first time he used the "things said by people with bad intentions" point so I’m kinda over it

-YES to everything you said about researching information !!!! Jumping to conclusions or blindly believing any piece of info you see is literally doing for harm than good for anyone involved, always always try to find sources source, fact check and look from an unbiased POV the things you see. Will never forget when the union released their first statement and I saw people either saying that they were a fake account trying to smear the reputation project or that quackity was going to jail, I was like « oh my, we are cooked » 😭

-Also agree with your next point, but as you said we don’t know who these people are (and I don’t necessarily think we should know btw), so we can only hope that they will be competent and caring people who will run the studio in accordance with the law and with better work ethics.

-On the twitter admins getting fired well first we can agree that the way it was done is fucked up. And I understand the difficulty of the financial aspect (to an extent, don’t ask me details about finance, idk shit about money numbers lmao), but it’s giving « Your work was very needed and appreciated while it was free, but now that we may have to pay you we can actually do without it, bye guys ». Especially ehhhh about it since multiple Twitter admins have expressed that getting paid wasn’t an issue, the working conditions were. Though to be fair idk exactly how volunteer work is regulated in every country the admins were from so this may have played a part in their firing.

-And finally yes, the distracting from what matters. Like fans can discuss whatever they want obviously, my argument is more about Q here, like dude are you really sure the main point of contention here is to debate whether or not you were overly interfering in other ccs lore ??? Don’t get me wrong, great that you’re saying it wasn’t the case but the main point of everything was missed by a mile.

Also don’t worry your ask didnt came across as you picking apart what I had said but even if it was, as long as you’re not rude i dont mind people coming to my askbox like « tumblr user pommunist you are wrong about everything and let me tell you why »

[theygotlost]

im actually really fascinated by video game advertising the 90s and 2000s. @vgprintads is such an awesome archive for getting a glimpse into that stuff.

nowadays video footage of gameplay or cutscenes is taken for granted in advertising but that wasn't the case when a lot of gaming journalism was still being distributed in print.

print video game ads hardly ever relied on still screenshots of the game either. for one it can be pretty hard to communicate an interactive audiovisual experience with just a still image, but I also think it's because the graphics sucked and they knew it. high quality graphics didn't really seem to be a big selling point like they are now (which is one reason game footage is so important in modern advertising), and they wouldn't have been very "high quality" anyway.

so instead, advertisements were less about the game itself and a lot more about how playing the game will make you FEEL. they were selling an experience, not a product (which is like, rule 1 of advertising).

which is not to say that all this is inherently "better", the gaming industry was and still is rife with misogyny. they leaned hard into the 18-24 white male demo. ive seen so many old game ads to the effect of "if you play our awesome video game HOT BABES IN YOUR AREA WITH HUUUUUUGE BOOBS WILL WANNA SEX YOU" etc.

ive done zero actual research on this or anything. its just something i like to fixate on for no reason

[frostbite-the-bat]

what do you do in petz + how the fuck is spam tong in petz

ok, so! petz, or in this case, PF Magic Petz specifically, is an old, OLD pet simulator game from the 90s! it's made to run on doo-doo potato computers, and uses it's own wacky technonogy called, and bear with me, "ballz", to render the pet models.

there's other games by pf magic, but we'll focus on petz. before they became stinky ubisoft petz. (ubisoft bought petz) nono ignore that. this is PURE FUCKIN' MAGIC PETZ! (thats what pf stands for)

you adopt a dog or a cat... and you take care of it! and unlike most modern pet sims - your pet truly has a personality of its own. for the game's age it's actually surprisingly complex, and the community is finding new things each year! i believe just last year (or two years ago??) we found out petz have FAVORITE COLORS.

each pet is unique in their own way!! signature animations, favorite foods, what relationships they have with other petz, how you've trained them... one pet may love being fed cheese, while the other may not.

of course there's also personalities for each breed, as each breed has it's own personality. i can't explain this one well, so give this a read!

i used to play petz a lot more back then, nowadays i just check in on it sometimes, but the genuine connection you may get to feel towards your silly guys is real.

fun fact i only adopt cats. i dont do my breeding from scratch but the guys i adopt from other people or PUGS (petz universal game site) (i hope i got that right) i dont like the sounds dogs make. i still need to finish graphics for all my cats. heres some of them. i love them.

what really makes this game is the community! it's a small, but surprisingly lively and friendly community! many of these people may even be twice your age, enjoying this silly pet game online with everyone, it's wonderful! the game is very moddable, and people make their own breeds, toys, areas... anything you think of, it can be put in this game with enough time and creativity!

some people make realistic, breeds, and some people make Silly Guys! like me for example! i'm really into fan-made media petz! it's how i got into the game, after all! i've made some hexied (modded petz) of my own!

ralsei is my best example. gif taken from my site

also, most people around the petz community have their own websites! for their downloads, shows, or to show off their petz!! what you can do is endless. i made my site because of that, though it's in constant disrepair and i SWEAR one day i will move to neocities.

and yes!! shows!! people do shows!! you can pose and take pictures of your petz and it'S actually a very pixel precise thing, trying to get your pet to do a show pose! people do these shows on forums and even give each other little graphic trinkets like badges!!

speaking of graphics... STAMPS!! petz fans love stamps!! i collect some, too, but my collection isnt as impressive as some other people.

people even have stamps for their own sites, that's where these come from!!

already creeping to petz spamton, dont worry!

but about petz hexing, i wanna give a shout out to the skinstealer system at the bad_death site. i admire their work so much. check it out!!! i reblog their things sometimes. (well..on my petz blog but i'll start doing so here, too)

ANYWAYS. PETZ SPAMTON. WHAT IN TOON IS THAT.

Well. you prolly werent there for it but petz spamton took some places of the internet by storm and OH BOY WAS IT BOTH REALLY COOL BUT ALSO VERY TIRING SOMETIME. im not the creator, i do not take credit, however i am partially responsible as that entity was created on my server. (after my friends talked about the reanimated joshua and the promised land video from saberspark - its a big collab and we talked about the people who worked on it. one of them was Moonkitti who has a petz profile picture. i then left the convo but my friend who i wont name so they feel comfy <3 remembered petz and had the wonderful idea of Modding Spamton Into It.)

i was graced with being able to see THE BEASTS PREMIERE. AND LATE AT NIGHT, WATCHING A DISCORD CALL OF THIS THING BEING BORN, SCREEN RECORDING IT ON MY PHONE.... LATER USING THE FOOTAGE TO MAKE This Infamous Video.

petz spamton doesnt look like this anymore its had many updates. (you can see the history on my spamtons as id update a new one and keep it with certain updates!! for example otterpop doesnt have colored paw pads, but mango does.) but this is the original. i had an og adopted as well but i lost it </3 BACK UP YOUR FILES BACK UP YOUR FILES BACK UP YOUR FILES BACK UP YOUR FILES. I MISS YOU CHEESE-TON.

and WELL.. PEOPLE LIKED THIS MOD...! much much fanart... and even some drama uh oh please people dont sexualize feral animals. thanks. go to hell and die. it was both very fun but as you can imagine it got overwhelming especially for my friend so i am keeping them anonymous!! they do have a sideblog for petz just named "petzspamton" if you want to see The Og.

it got many people into petz!! it was wonderful to see people discover this old game. hell! even i got into it this way! though as trends are, they usually go away eventually. i stay however because im ill. hashtag number one spamton pet breeder. dont take it the wrong way. i like spamton mixies.

oh yeah! the breeding in this game! SURPRISINGLY VERY COMPLEX. WONT BE GETTING INTO IT. but! two petz can have a baby! including modded petz! it can create Monstrosities. but some are niceys! i like both the cursed ones because funny but also getting some niceys to keep :) i have many mixed spamtons!!

for example iceshock (white) and creature! (grey)

the possibilities truly are endless !!

but yeah. the hype died down but its always funny meeting people, talking about interests, we get to deltarune. I mention petz, then they say oh yeah petz spamton i know that AND THEN THEY REALIZE WHO I AM "YOU MADE THAT SPAMTON VIDEO" BRUH IT HAS 4K VIEWS ONLY LIKE HOW DO YOU FIND THIS SHIT . THIS HAPPENED ONCE OVER SOMEONE I MET ON A FUCKING CLUB PENGUIN PRIVATE SERVER. i do not like micro fame but oh my god this shit is always so fucking insane and funny to me i love it i love being a fucking cryptid. BUT ANYWAYS

things layed dormant. petz spamton server dead as hell. my own server #living tho #gaming #swag #iamruinbornaftonialwayscomeback.

and then... THEN... SPAMTON SWEEPSTAKES OCCURS. AND THERES A PETZ MENTION THERE. DID WE CAUSE THAT? OR IS IT TOBY JUST LIKING OLD GAMES AS HE DOES.

WELL READ MORE HERE BECAUSE I TALKED ABOUT THIS ON MY WEBBED SITE !

BUT YES. SPAMTON IS IN PETZ NOW. IM PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE. ITS PROBABLY BEEN REFERENCED BY TOBY FOX??? IF YES THEN I HAVE 2 NICKELS FOR HAVING A THING IM RESPONSIBLE/PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR BEING NOTICED BY THE CREATORS. NOT A LOT BUT WEIRD IT HAPPENED TWICE.

PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY SPAMTONS. I LOVE THEM.

but man if i may get goopy orizfhhguguughh ill be fr height of petz spamton hype got Tiring .im sosososos glad the server we had for it was tiny as hell and secret because MAN. URUGHH

[silverskye13]

you are the reason I like cowboys, I now listen to country music on the daily and it has taken over my life so I thank you for this. I grew up in a household that literally fucking hated country music(like it wasn't allowed in the house hate) so this is kind of like a awakening for me so ye :]

Welcome to the cowboy fields! Please receive your standard issue six-shooter, hunting knife and cowboy hat. Make sure all horses are picketed with access to their necessities.

You hit like, a major nerve about country music. Probably because it's 1am. And I just ran down the longest rabbit trail of nostalgia. So even though you didn't ask: here's a LOT of country music recs under the cut.

As someone who was raised on super patriotic post 9/11 pop-country music and then spent most of their adult life running away from it, I'm really envious you get access to it now that it's diversifying itself again! If you want some older (90s) recs, Shania Twain, LeeAnn Rimes and Keith Urban used to be favorites of mine. Rascal Flatts was the only "boy band" I ever obsessed over, and their cover of "Life is a Highway" is always a banger.

Keith Urban's "Somebody Like You" and "Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me" still make me think of sunny days gunning it down the highway on the way to visit family in North Carolina. "Would You Go With Me" by Josh Turner is a love song I'm still hoping I find a love worthy of. It's also really hard to go wrong with Carrie Underwood. "Before He Cheats," is terrifying, amazing, powerful. "Blowing Smoke" by Kacey Musgrave is A Vibe. Miranda Lambert makes me think of my sister. She captures the same powerful-woman-murders-her-husband vibes as early Carrie Underwood, and "Mama's Broken Heart" was a favorite Im-having-a-mental-breakdown song for a lot of the girls in our high school. Reba McEntire's "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" is epic and unforgettable. "Suds in the Bucket" by Sara Evans is also very very good.

I'd also like to honorable mention: "Rain is a Good Thing" by Luke Bryan because I'm from semi-rural Indiana where we grow... A lot of corn. You understand a song about corn and whiskey would make every Indiana resident unironically turnt as hell. "I Loved Her First" by Heartland was played at every country wedding for a solid 5 years after it was released. "Going Through Hell (Before the Devil Even Knows You're There)" by Rodney Atkins was very inspirational the first 50 times I heard it on the radio. "Alright" by Darius Rucker blew me out of the water, because when I heard it first we used to watch the country music videos channel every day before school, and it was the first time I'd ever seen a black man singing country music and I cannot tell you how cool I thought he was.

I don't listen to much modern country music [does "Call Me By Your Name" count??]. After the early 2000s super-patriot-party-womanizer flavor of country took over, a lot of what I listen to instead is what's currently called "Folk", "Folk Rock" and "New Age Rock". Kinda captures what that sound and atmosphere of music used to be like before it got pop-ified. The Crane Wives, The Wailin' Jennies, Lord Huron, Colter Wall, and Barns Courtney are the closest I get to "Country music" these days.

If social justice is a thing you admire I Highly Highly recommend The Chicks. They pioneered the idea of disassociating country music from its southern pride/racist roots [and demonstrated it by dropping their very popular brand name, The Dixie Chicks]. They also pushed back against the uber-patriotism movement in the country music genre after 9/11, for which they were dropped from many, many venues and brand deals. They basically disappeared from the media overnight, because they took a stand against what they deemed to be an unjust upcoming war, and continue to work for social justice currently [you might've heard their song March March making rounds during the 2020 BLM movement. If you haven't, go listen to it, it's a bop.]

I hope you have fun exploring the genre! There's so much nostalgia for me there, and while there's definitely some controversy in it, there's also so many good people working to turn the genre back to something admirable again [imo]. :3

[warriorsparked]

Get To Know The Mun

------The Basics!

Name: Owl (or Sam).

Pronouns: He/Him

Zodiac Sign: Libra (Scorpio cusp)

Single/Taken: Married

------Three Facts!

1- I grew up on horror movies and metal musik. Although my library is also full of different genres, metal music and synthwave (tho I'm fussy) are my favourites. 80's music is still some of the best music to this date imo. Watching slashers and thrillers are sort of comfort films to me, in a sense, which might seem odd to some people. But growing up in the 90's as a kid that liked these things, I was very outcasted. Writing Megatron and getting inside his head was a big outlet for me, and he's definitely a comfort character because of all the stuff he's endured. The post-war series I began writing started over 10 years ago. Back then, it was a personal journey for me just as much as it was for him. And now, over 10 years later, I'm rewriting the whole series (or... most of it lol), and looking back has been another wonderful journey, and also the reason I got back into the TF community!

2- I work in healthcare. I've worked in hospitals, clinics and Drs offices. I take legitimately any sample that can be produced by the human body from any part of the human body--yep... I mean any part (swabs, bloods, urines, faeces, histo, semen--ANYTHING), I also do heart checks and BP's, and covid, which let me tell you... working in healthcare during a pandemic is likely one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm still burnt out and many of us are, so please give your healthcare workers some slack. <3 I've almost finished my studies for training and assessing, so I'm hoping to become a mentor or a teacher/trainer in my field :)

3- I was diagnosed late in life with Autism (severe Aspergers). Although I'd already diagnosed myself (lol, I'm obsessed with psychology and had also diagnosed my sister with BPD when I was like 16 which turned out to be legit), having that professional diagnosis meant a lot for me when it came to understanding myself and my behaviours, especially in my adolescence. It can mean at times that I am very overwhelmed and SLOW here (I'm also still studying, working, learning German and piano, plus I have other hobbies and blogs). Please don't take it personally if I don't always reply in IMs, especially due to time zones, but sometimes I'm just legitimately exhausted mentally and physically. My work is extremely demanding and busy and renders me fatigued. I also have other health stuff going on which renders me tired on a daily basis (:

------Experience!

Platforms Used: DeviantART, hotmail, MSN, RP forums, Skype, Tumblr. I've been around a long time lol.

Plotting / Winging It / Memes: All of the above tbh. I think that memes are a really good way to break the ice, but I definitely love plots as well, and getting to have long term RP partners <3 Srsly, if we're long term, I will likely gush with you about potential ships and stuff lol.

------Muse Preference!

Gender: I've Rped all, but I definitely feel more comfortable with male muses. I relate better with them.

Multi or Single: I've got both, and it entirely depends on how active the muse is. I definitely think single muses are easier to handle, but I've also got muses that had been neglected because signing in onto different profiles was a pain in the arse lol, and their activity was so low I felt like there was barely a point in having their whole blog to themselves, so I moved them all to a multi, and it's been a lot easier for me to manage. But then there's some muses that are just so loud that they gotta be on single ones lol.

Least Favourite Faceclaim(s): Most Game of Thrones actors are very over used, especially in some of the fandoms I'm in.

------Fluff / Angst / Smut!

Fluff: I adore fluff. But with Megatron, it's got to be a long standing relationship. He's not known for breaking down his walls and being comfortable exposing himself. It's going to take a lot of time and patience.

Angst: Look, I am a SUCKER for angst okay. Megatron is OOZING it anyway lol. But yes, angst!

Smut: I've been writing smut for over a decade, I'm very comfortable with it, and I love writing it. But I'm also PICKY with it, because the muses need to have chemistry, and if there's none, then it's not going to happen. Megatron is likely to sleep with MANY people, but there's also gotta be chemistry between the mods as well, because this is something that I do take pretty seriously when involving someone else. Just because I'm hella ace doesn't mean the muse is lol, and if there's chemistry, then heck yeah. I'm pretty open minded.

Tagged: @blackwldcw ( thank you dear! ) Tagging: If you're not done it yet, then YOU!

[dragodina]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

Unfortunately, I honestly can't answer anything productive, joyful and positive right now because nothing really makes me happy at the moment.

I can't even list listening to my favourite music and band because right now that is just part of the misery.

So I'll have to pass once and come back to it another time when this mood of mine hopefully changes again.

And I know it's totally silly, not adult-like at all and totally unnecessary, because the reason for it is not really a problem. Not like the many real ones we and people have in this world and in this society right now.

But if you have found such a small safe space for yourself, which you are looking foreard to for months and that lets you forget your worries for 90 minutes at least every few months and its been taken away from you out of the blue without any justifiable explanation and with a really brazen justification, maybe you are allowed to be pissy.

I don't know how long this will last, start of fall and winter are not helping much really, but I'm afraid it's ging to stay like that for quite a while.

Especially when that one particular Sunday happens next year, it's probably going to be really bad again and it's all going to start all over again.

Thank you for reaching out @except4bunnies , for the interest and asking and I'm very sorry if this post disappoints and I'm being a stinker at the moment 😔.

Lots of love ❤️.

---

Leider kann ich ehrlicherweise gerade nichts produktives, freudiges und positives darauf antworten, weil mich momentan nichts wirklich glücklich macht.

Ich kann nicht einmal meine Lieblingsmusik und -band aufzählen, denn das ist im Moment nur ein Teil des Elends.

Ich muss also einmal passen und ein anderes Mal darauf zurückkommen, wenn sich das wieder ändert.

Und ich weiß, es ist total albern, überhaupt nicht erwachsen und völlig unnötig, denn der Grund dafür ist nicht wirklich ein Problem. Nicht wie die vielen wirklichen, die wir und die Menschen in dieser Welt und in dieser Gesellschaft gerade haben.

Aber wenn du dann so einen kleinen safe space für dich gefunden hast, der dich zumindest alle paar Monate für 90 Minuten mal die Sorgen vergessen lassen hat und dir das aus heiteren Himmel ohne berechtigte Erklärung und mit einer wirklich dreisten Begründung genommen worden, darf man vielleicht auch einfach mal pissig sein.

Keine Ahnung wie lange das anhalten wird, ich befürchte aber, noch eine ganze Weile.

Und wenn dann dieser eine bestimmte Sonntag nächstes Jahr passieren wird, wird es vermutlich nochmal richtig schlimm und alles wieder von vorne beginnen.

Danke fürs Nachfragen, fürs taggen @except4bunnies und es tut mir sehr leid, wenn die Antwort enttäuscht und ich hier zur Zeit den Stinkstiefel rauslasse.

Ganz viel Liebe geht raus ❤️!

[puppiekit]

You know what seeing my tumblr homies talk about their ocs has really motivated me to do the same. So im going to ramble about the cast of my comic LOL

Firstly, on to the worldbuilding...

The world of my comic takes place in the far future, long after global warming has taken its course and messed up a good chunk of modern society. All of the rich have long fled to Mars, out of attempt to escape the consequences of destroying their home planet.

A few centuries later, however, they realize their attempts at survival are futile and attempt to return back, much to the anger of those who were left behind, and managed to rebuild all on their own. To say the least, their conflict quickly became violent.

To reflect the hard societal reset that happened on Earth, a lot of the setting and technology present is 70s / 80s / 90s inspired, with a fancier polish to reflect their place hundreds of years in the future, of course.

Inspiration...

Now, the world of my comic is inspired by many things!!! To help you gather an idea of what I have in mind, i'll list them here:

Now on to my silly skrunkly characters!!!

This is Laika, weird cat-dog thing, local societal menace, and genuine war criminal. Hes in his 30s, a short king (only around 5'3), and has all the pent up rage and anger to show for it.

In spite of his sad emo childhood backstory, I have crafted him specifically to be the most insufferable (in the most lovable way) character to ever exist on planet earth. Hes cruel, selfish, aggressive, short-tempered, and prone to violence (derives pleasure from the harm and vulnerability of others, really). He has 0 self awareness and loves to play the victim in every given scenario.

To put it in simple terms, he never mentally developed beyond his traumatized childhood self. Hes under a constant state of survival and self-preservation.

Now in his adult years, he works for the government to develop nuclear weapons. Despite his shitty attitude, he is incredibly smart, especially in regards to science / physics. Still, however, I think it is a rather dumb move on the governments part to hand a ticking time-bomb like him literal nukes. Might just be me, though!

These are Laikas coworkers. They do not have any individual references just yet, so sadly I must rant about them together based off of this puny sketch!

Goose:

Albino raccoon , he/they , Lead Engineer for the Government war effort. Also... Laikas ex! Awkward! This fool is 6ft+ and a walking brick wall of flesh and muscle, but lacks the self awareness necessary to come off as anything beyond mildly intimidating. He comes from a long line of Aviators, Engineers, and Pilots, birthing his life-long fixation on the subject.

Goose is air-headed, and endearing to those who only know him by passing. But in reality hes equally as insufferable as Laika. He's selfish, egotistical, and has a multitude of narcissistic tenancies. He will find any reason at all to passively-aggressively drag others down in meaningless, petty ways, just to make him feel better about himself. His tendency to place himself on a pedestal is almost entirely fueled by insecurities he refuses to acknowledge, which directly bounces off of Laikas hate-fueled enjoyment of picking at others.

He and Laika were childhood best-friends, High-School sweethearts, and lifelong partners... Before they both reunited after Laikas time on the battlefield, however, and realized they had both grown into something they can no longer tolerate. And yet their burning hatred has circled back around into some weird, toxic form of passionate love... Still hooking up and all over eachother, same as before!

Paradox:

Weird coyote thing, they/them, late 30s / early 40s ... Develops chemical weapons for the Government. VERY passionate about their work. Super into conspiracies. This scrawny canine is simply unhinged, to be totally honest. They couldn't be bothered to open up about their family or past, leaving their peers to wonder how exactly they became the way they did.

All that is known is that Paradox's chemical burns... Are most certainly caused from some past self experimentation. (They 100% DIY'd their own top surgery btw. They are indeed that genre of Transgender Scientist). Like the rest of the cast, Paradox is an ass, in one way or another. They lack total care of empathy for others. They have, and will, throw a baby in an incinerator for science.

Paradox lives in the basement of their workplace, pretty much, spending the good majority of their days working away at new weapons, committing unethical science experiments on Prisoners of War, or trying to frantically piece together proof that the moon landing was fake. (yes, even despite the fact that their entire War effort... IS IN SPACE). They are simultaneously stupid and genius, which is why I adore them.

Juno:

Borzoi / Afghan-Hound , she/her , 50s. A lot of people who see this woman call her... a MILF. And perhaps she is. But she is a very EVIL one. Your time with her will not be enjoyable brother. Besides, shes married, unfortunately for her husband. Juno develops Biological weapons for the Government. She was once a Biology teacher for a local Middle School, but lost her job after fighting a student.

Juno is ... A Karen. Mean, selfish, overtly-controlling, and will never pass up an opportunity to complain or jab at those she views beneath her (which is everybody ever, to be honest). If you ever see somebody yelling at a minimum wage worker for something stupid, that is her. If you've ever had to deal with a nosy, bitchy coworker, that is her.

Juno is very spiritual (the embodiment of those christian girls on Instagram who spew out bigotry with sweet bible quotes in her bio), she very much believes in the whole 'this crystal will ward off evil energy' thing. Shes also a vegan, and views feral animals as above society as a whole. She views her fellow man as pests, leeches on the Earth, who are cruel to the innocent animals that inhabit it.

She derives pleasure from using her live for biology as a means for harming/killing her fellow man, and usually in the most unethical ways possible. She has planted Termites in the homes of many of her enemies.

To make a long story short... This entire comic is about assholes living the most painful inconvenienced lives ever possible. It is hilarious. You should ask me about them btw pspspsps come here pspsps

[sevensforasecret]

thank you for tagging me @schnaf <3

What colour are your eyes? bluey greyish

What instantly tells you if a person is good? hmm this isn't really something i have an answer to in words, i'm a very go with your gut kind of person so i'd say it's just a feeling really

Do you have a recurring dream? i've had a few in the past but none happening at the moment, the most memorable being one where me and a group of friends were pirates but got shipwrecked on an island with a man eating pig?? don't ask bc i do not have answers..

What is the most interesting class you have taken? i've definitely had classes that have made me super engaged but nothing has really stuck enough to remeber now

How often do you find yourself day dreaming? i don't really daydream? i wouldn't say i'm a particularly visual person, as in i don't see pictures in my head, so in order to daydream i'd have to like.. tell myself the story in my head? if that makes sense, it's a very active participation thing for me

Name/Nickname: don't really have one, i'm morgan or 雨晴 to my chinese friends

Zodiac: capricorn

Height: 5' 7 ish

Nationality: british

Favourite colour: dark green

Favourite season: autumn

Favourite animals: don't have one really

Favourite fictional characters: wangxian own my whole heart at the moment, but like gods i have so many that have stuck with me from other books i've read since i was like 12

Tea, coffee or hot chocolate?: tea like 90% of the time, i can't drink coffee it makes me siiick

Average hours of sleep?: 7-8

Cat or dog person: i'm alergic to both</3

Number of blankets slept with: 1-3 depends how cold it is

Places ancestors are from: the uk i guess?? actually i remeber hearing that someone might have been spanish in my grandads family??

Dream trip: hmm probably going somewhere with ppl i love but i don't really have anything specific, it's more about the company than the place for me

Blog established: this one was valentines day 2019 lmao

Random fact about yourself: i have double jointed knees.. or maybe hips? im not sure but i used to find extreme joy in sitting on the floor in a way that made it look like i'd broken my legs and making everyone be like O.o

Three ships: wangxian, i only really do one at a time??

Last song: 预兆 by silent speech

Last movie: triangle of sadness (would reccomend!)

Currently reading: 魔道祖师 mdzs chinese edition

Currently watching: 陪你到世界之巅/gank your heart

Currently craving: some company, i've been alone in the house for a week bc all my housemates except one have gone home for their holiday, and the other one spends all her time fucking he boyfriend (wish i was exaggerating, would rather not hear it tbh)

tagging anyone who'd like to share! feel free to tag me i love being nosey ^-^

[conceptkin]

# trauma dream

had a weird and kinda fucked up dream about my grandma who was my most significant/active/longstanding abuser in childhood.

the dream felt so… distilled?… distinctly symbolic; simplified as much as possible, seemingly without losing (almost any of) the essence.

my brain fog has been getting better since i started taking L-theanine, and apparently we (the system) are taking the opportunity to unpack the complex effects that being left in the "care" of someone clearly two-faced and cruel had on me as a child. my dreams have always been affected by those experiences (90-99% of them are about / involve an element of being hunted / on the run), tho usually its just left unclear why im running or what from.

but this time, my brain produced something akin to a slice-of-life psychological horror game, with an antagonist that acts differently based on whether you've got eyes on her. and like, at first i didnt really pay much mind to her presence, tho i took it into account, since im used to that element of threat in dreams and thats not the focus most of the time. but this time it somehow became the explicit focus. maybe because it was also explicitly her.

it worked on video game logic - if you fuck up, you can start again. (i did experience the relevant traumas in very similar ways many times, often trying different tactics, so this kinda makes sense.)

the game mechanics were as follows:

1. grandma will scout for weaknesses at all times and think of fucked up little schemes whenever her brain is not occupied with planning and doing chores.

2. sometimes she will (seemingly) randomly take destructive actions when not being observed.

3. she has an invisible annoyance→aggro meter that, once filled, drives her to be destructive in plain sight. i could easily contribute to filling this meter, and it couldn't be unfilled without her making some kind of attack on something. her destructive acts are often nonphysical.

4. she is bigger and stronger than me and will restrain or lock me in a room if she gets to me. (irl this didnt happen all too often, i usually got away, because-)

5. im faster than her.

6. other people will not interfere in the game. (tbf technically i could've maybe walked off and changed the entire context, but it would've been a different dream then. maybe next time tho.)

7. the smallest, softest, most gentle and defenseless dog is somewhere, roaming the property. grandma finds it very annoying and is likely to kill it. (not a real thing that happened at all, tho we did have a dog and she wasnt a fan, i dont remember irl physical violence in that direction. tho this is emotionally reminiscent of an incident where she immolated a toy of mine. waking assessment indicates that the dream dog (which was also much smaller and a different color from the actual irl dogs i remember, it was tiiiny & so fragile) represents my naive assumptions that my family is normal and is there to keep me safe. we will learn that it was all really about this dog.)

she would only aggro like 10% of the time, usually with a tiny bit of warning too, so i wasnt exactly Comfortable going up to her or entering the house, but it wasn't unthinkable.

i would idly talk to her abt stuff, like, i think there was smth abt watering the garden, and also, strangely, i saw she had cast a spell on her bed linens/duvet, so that they were just floating, suspended in space, to air them out? and i saw this and i said "oh id just been wondering if magic was offline or it was just me", which???… as if magic was supplied similarly to wifi or phone service or something?

its weird, but the way i felt abt it closely paralleled irl feelings ive had abt skills i failed to attain due to neglect. because like, in-dream, i had to be so vigilant, constantly on guard, that i couldn't have taken the time to practice my magic, i just accepted the loss. at least for the duration of this godforsaken “game”. the whole thing was clearly out of my control.

i remember feeling the same hopelessness/helplessness irl about being left alone for long periods of time, being abandoned by adults who were supposed to watch me, dismissing my attempts to build connection / show affection, etc. they were emotionally, intellectually, and often even physically unreachable at times when it was crucial for me.

in the dream, there was smth i felt here abt being glad that she did have access to magic, so that maybe i could still learn those skills from her, or at least exploit her access. (in waking life im aware that she unfortunately does actually lack a significant amount of critical thinking, social and self-regulation skills to this day, and never had much of anything wholesome to teach me. it was all drenched in trauma the whole time, bc she obviously had a bad time growing up too. she grew up with 6(?) siblings and no electricity. and im pretty sure shes autistic too.)

anyway, so i remember the dog being around in the first loops. but i noticed some weird shit going on with the dog, like i couldnt discern the pattern of where to find it, and i started to worry about it, bc like despite the video-game-like format, this whole thing was also semi-real, so i was like “i wonder if this actual dog is safe” lol. (and its kinda fucked up that its a dog. that says something about my relationship to my own innocence, if thats what it represents, because i am not a dog person at all. i perceive them as helpless and possessing of many traits that displease me, such as noisiness, stinkiness, clumsiness, drooliness, and of course, the sin of being uncritically and unconditionally adored by innumerable people despite all of these flaws. its mostly the noisiness tho lol, im very sensitive to noise.)

so im trying to survive / not lose the game by getting caught/restrained, but im also kinda looking for this dog.

the last scene i remember before waking up was finding the dog in a small room, but getting cornered by grandma… and for some reason (i guess i was looking for a way out, like a window or smth) i turned my back for a moment before i thought to close the door between me and her, but then… the fucking dog was gone? and im pretty sure she just like, poofed it. made it disappear without a trace, a sanitized children's game/cartoon style death. (kinda ironic.)

some part of me considered if the dog couldve escaped. its so small, and i didnt think it was her main target, but after some analysis, ive concluded that it was. (this is backed by some things i learned about her mindset as an adult.) so she either killed it, my innocence, or otherwise made it disappear / be uncontactable to me, and left me alone, because that was the goal. to make me cynical and paranoid and reclusive, hypervigilant and aggressive and impatient. just like her! she did this on purpose.

realising this was what woke me up.

concepts illustrated (to me, not necessarily communicated in what i described but just trust me bro) by this dream that i learned in childhood & more clearly now recognize to have formed the bedrock of my worldview:

1. i alone am responsible for my safety and wellbeing, nobody else can or will protect me. (made pretty good progress on this overall, but i def still have issues asking for help etc.)

2. everyone is untrustworthy in some significant way – liable to catastrophically fail/betray me at unexpected times in various creative ways and with little warning. (classic.)

3. justice is unattainable. (i hate this one the most. this is the one that locked me in for way too long & i still haven't fully escaped it. tbf, this is afaict a widespread belief around here.)

4. despite all of the above, i still need to make the best of these opportunities to interface with people, because otherwise i will die. (this one makes me want to give my child self a hug forever. what a nightmare environment; except yeah, actually the case in real life. well, they probably wouldn't have let me die, but in my head, the other option was to like, escape to the woods and just live alone in the wild. or i guess maybe i couldve been institutionalised also, if i really refused to cooperate, but i didnt know abt that back then. either way, i didnt have any options much better than to just try to adapt to being mistreated.)

my mom had to work and she didnt always have a choice about leaving me in the "care" of my grandma. she looked for other opportunities when she could; she made a decent effort to be kind to me, even if she didnt always succeed.

she grew up with an even worse version of what i experienced, after all. that's her mom. her dad is an alcoholic, the mellow and permissive kind, thus neglectful. this pair has always been verbally aggro at each other literally almost all of the time whenever ive seen them interact (and i lived w them between ages 2-11.). they still live together, so its been >50 years of that. its sad, they are probably autistic and certainly grew up neglected af too. & not to get political but i just cant help it: im convinced a lottt of these issues stem from cultural trauma. and ive never heard anyone talk abt the effects our history has had on our culturally-inherited mindset!!! its terrifying.

in conclusion: fuck that shit. im so glad im not talking to gma anymore. staying in touch w her was an incredible injustice i was doing upon myself for years. i tried talking to her abt those events a couple of times and she could barely admit any fault at all. i think being free of her irl is a significant part of why i could even face the things this dream brought up. im proud of myself for how far ive come. yay for me and fuck colonialism.

[scarletfire03]

hello I'm intrigued to hear your takes on shitty games!! There is some *extremely* interesting garbage out there

My take on shitty games: there are no shitty games

I love games that most people would call bad or shitty they are previous to me

I hear a game has horrible reviews and im like "sounds like a good experience" and im almost always right about that when i actually play it

People dunk on e.t? Time to play it! Wow would you look at that it is a really fun little game with an intense gameplay loop that is only dragged down by bad controls and nowadays the lack of the instruction manual. I actually played it on an atari 2600+ and my partner and i spent the entire evening playing the game trying to beat it because it actually got us hooked on wanting to win and it was SO satisfying to beat for us both

People hate on the cdi nintendo games? Fuck man they actually look really fun gameplay wise and if i could play them in any way possible i would totally do that (i have no cdi 😔 and emulation is completely unplayable due to crashing consistently when booting up any game) also the cutscenes are NOT garbage i will fight you they are very nicely made and feel very much like an old 80s and 90s cartoon and link in the zelda cdi games is not off model or weird he canonically looked like that at the time

Sonic 06 is a glitchy mess that is awful? I had a genuinely hard time coming across a lot of the glitches. It was actually a very fun game and glitchy =/= bad, guys. Can we finally stop rating a game by how many bugs it has? We also dont rate pokemon pokemon games by their bugs

Rip offs and bootlegs? Hell yeah they are silly i love em! I need more actually lets start making em again! instead of making fan games i think that would be better for everyone if we all just started making knock offs again with our own original ideas instead of making a game that will 100% get taken down by the dumb corporations

The only things i would actually consider truly bad and shit are games that are just no content and pay to win to an absurd degree like mobile trash. That and games that are just made to be cashgrabs that basically have no content. They dont deserve the title "shitty games" tho and should instead just be called garbage or trash instead

I think that if a game is rated badly it is worth giving it a shot. In many cases they are more fun than some of the high rated games of today. Beware that they tend to have frustrating aspects tho (that is usually why they are called bad). My advice for dealing with frustrating parts of games is to calm yourself down and be patient with the game and to listen to what the game wants you to do and do it exactly ad the game tells you.