#they are actually have a queer platonic relationship

[velvetvexations]

so the transfeminized subject is just a faggot? is there a difference between the experience of a gay man and a transfem?

That's a very good question, anon!

The TL;DR is that yes, there are differences between the experiences of trans women and cisgay men. However, there's much, much more overlap than some trans women are willing to admit for the sake of the idea that transfeminine oppression is based on being accurately percieved as women by transphobes.

Gay men went through much of the same experiences and still do, albiet to a lesser degree now that gay rights have come so far and cishet society has finally started to recognize that gay men and trans women are not the same thing. It hasn't always been that way, though, and homophobia and transmisogyny have a close relationship.

Even things like futanari are, yes, transphobic, and transmisogynistic, but also rooted in the fact that people who consume that kinna content think everyone with a penis is a man and therefore they need to come up with an imaginary concept that gets around that - it is equally the fear of being homosexual as much if not even more than it is a desire to erase trans women, who before the 2010s were largely considered essentially synonymous with gay men by cis people, who were not really actively thinking about trans women as a concept when they displaced their desires to suck cock onto subjects they considered appropriate.

This kinna not-even-remembering-you-exist form of transphobia is very well-known to transmascs but I feel like hyper-visibility of trans women in the modern era has made some completely lose the plot and come to the conclusion that all oppression revolves entirely around an active hatred of some Platonic form of trans woman that objectively exists on some plane of existence.

It's certainly what it seems like when they insist that TERFs hate us only because they just naturally absorbed all the hate for trans women in the media back in like, the 80s, I guess. Bossom Buddies was basically The Elder Protocols of Zion for trans women, if you think about it.

Orrrrr...maybe TERFs have genuine beliefs, regardless of how immoral and illogical? I've seen people who call themselves transfeminists say "TERFs didn't start hating trans women by hating men" and like, yes, they did, you fucking idiot! That doesn't mean trans women are men, it just means TERFs are incorrectly percieving us! Why is it so difficult to say TERFs are wrong? Why do you need TERFs to be secretly coming to the right conclusions and just lying about it?

And don't tell me "well this one time a TERF praised her husband." TERFs are also hypocrites and especially the straight ones, I cannot believe people are so unwilling to get that either. Well, I promise you, if you can stop crowing about transmisogynistic transmasc lesbians and admit to yourself it's mostly the cis lesbians that don't like us, you'll find that the gay TERFs tend to have purer ideology in that regard.

I'm kinna getting off on a tangent here, because the ask was about gay men, and I'm also not saying "androphobia," as applied to men who are every kinna privileged that a man can be, exists as an axis of oppression. But the way trans women are oppressed is actually pretty consistant with the belief that those oppressers wrongly see trans women as men, whether that be as nebulously queer faggots or, in the case of TERFs, who are a very unique case due to being an oppressed group displacing their fears onto an even more oppressed group, cis men.

So, transmisogyny as a distinct thing from other forms of oppression exists, and has always existed, but that was never dependent on actually understanding the people that were being stepped on. "Queer" is my favorite term for using as an umbrella label precisely because it was appried so broadly. People did not, in the past, take out a card to refresh themselves on which queers they hated in which order. A queer was a queer and a queer AMAB was a faggot, or what annoying people call "the transfeminized subject."

Now it's different. Now, finally, since gay marriage was legalized and queer culture has become mainstream and everyone knows our own words we use for ourselves and how we compare to one another, cis gay people have some grace granted to them by people who choose to hate trans people more. But that wasn't the case before, and considering trans women and gay men the same concept before meant they previously recieved the exact same treatment.

Gay rights and acceptance of cis gay people are further ahead than it is for trans people, and while there were still differences in some of the details in the past, it's in the present that you can especially see a gap in treatment between cisgay men and trans people AMAB. Even today, however, it's ridiculous to act like the privilage cisgays have is somehow universal, when acceptance of gay people is still highly conditional, limited, and depending on the time and place. Homophobia can still, to this day, manifest in ways that some trans women claim only happens to trans women, such as predatorjacketing.

And oh, man, speaking of different times and places, someone please ask the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia his opinion. Would you feel 'treated like a woman' if they executed you for identifying as one rather than for being a cis man who has sex with other men? Because they kill people for both.

Iran is, weirdly enough, a T without the LGB country,* and I'd love to see someone try to explain that with the "trans women are taxonomically women because they're treated worse than all men" framework.

I'm sure that despite my disclaimer at the top, you'll take all this to mean that I'm saying cisgay men and trans women aren't treated differently. Again, though: I'm saying there's a lot of overlap, especially up until the mid-2010s, which is still fairly recent. This useful for examining the origin of transmisogynistic belief systems. If you just accept that you're a girl because you know you are and are at peace with it being an internal thing, the existence of the iconically predatorjacketing Boys Beware (1961) is not a crushing blow to your sense of womanhood.

*with too many asterisks to fit into one asterisk, but the point stands that they allow transitioning while homosexuality still carries the death penalty

[somekindabard]

Shauna being bi is so important to me. Jackie being a comphet lesbian is so important to me.

All of these characters are so well written and the sheer brutality of trauma and how it shapes a person are displayed so powerfully. Some of the girls have trauma before the crash and you can see how it affects them. Then you can see how they are pre-crash trauma vs during vs after and how they evolve. It's just so real and raw. The writers delve into the complexities of girlhood to womanhood with so much trauma mixed in and the actors skill takes it to a deeper level.

They also showcase relationships in general so well. Familial, romantic, platonic, etc. So it makes sense for them to showcase the complexities of being gay, especially in the 90's. I was a bit disappointed with season 1 at first because so many people online were so annoyed by those of us that thought Jackie and Shauna had feelings for each other. It felt like I was queer baited again. I knew the show had representation so the most obvious pairing never happening with no chance of happening and with no confirmation of the feelings kinda hit a nerve. I didn't know the writers or much about the show yet so why would I trust them? As a queer person, I've definitely been burned before by "representation".

But Gooood the way that Shauna and Jackie look at each other. The way Jackie speaks about Jeff, about her going to college and needing to lose her virginity first and how they weren't gonna stay together, how he said he loves her and she didn't say it back but maybe she "should have". It's just so comphet and so familiar to me. And it's the best portrayal of it I've seen. And yes of course it doesn't have to be blatantly stated for it to be real, but without the confirmation I was so frustrated. People who don't get it, who haven't lived it, who probably don't even know what "comphet" means saying we're reaching and that "not everything has to be gay" really did get to me. It shouldn't have, but it did. Because yeah, we're seeing more and more gay characters in media, but they usually follow specific tropes. God forbid there's more than two queer experiences in media. God forbid we showcase how complex it is to discover yourself.

It's so frustrating when people who dated men before coming out are called liars or people don't recognize how being raised in a heteronormative society can make it really difficult to recognize your queerness. And then throw in bisexuality and that can add a whole different type of confusion. Enter shauna. It was just so so perfectly done. It felt so familiar. Finally! There's an out queer couple and then there's these two who aren't necessarily "fighting their queerness" or trying to pray it away, they just don't fully understand or recognize it yet. It was set up so beautifully. And then Jackie died and nothing was confirmed. And I was really sad, but I kept watching because the show is so good and tried to ignore the people who don't get it. But it just felt so special I was sad it went unacknowledged.

But as I've watched more and more, omg. The writers have greatly earned my trust. And I actually love how it played out. I love that we didn't get the confirmation or a love confession or anything while Jackie was alive. Because so many queer people don't ever get that and it hurts. So many queer people die before finding ir understanding themselves. So many queer people never accept themselves. It makes Jackie's death even more tragic. And then Shauna actually confirming her bisexuality adds so many layers to it. SHE'LL NEVER KNOW IF JACKIE FELT THE SAME. Even if ghost jackie confirms it, she'll never actually know. God thats so tragic. And I don't feel its "bury your gays" tropey because its just too real and I can't explain it but the way the went about it was just right. I hope she'll explore that grief later on. I feel like that could be really powerful, but so far the writers are better at this than me lol so we'll see where it goes.

No, we don't have explicit confirmation that Jackie is a lesbian dealing with comphet, but lesbians who have dealt with comphet interpret her that way. We see ourselves represented and it's so special and important to us. And her best friend that we thought could be bi? She is. For sure. And her life continued on long enough that that was confirmed. But Jackie's wasn't. Ouch ouch ouch. There's sooooo many ways that not confirming Jackie's queerness could have gone wrong. Again, bury your gays, queer baiting, all of the tropes. But somehow it doesn't feel like that. I trust the way this story is written and I trust the direction it's going. I don't know if I conveyed what I wanted to here or what else to say I just. Ahhhh I have big feelings about the representation in this show and those feelings are no longer frustrated. There's grief and desperation and sadness, but in a way that feels very healing. And then there's JOY somehow. Lots of JOY IDK I JUST LOVE THIS SHOW THX FOR READING THIS FAR

[queerclownaf]

A tale of two hearts, an Ever After High Fanfic

   -Don't move- Briar cautioned- I dont want to paint your finger.

   Apple smiled politely, like she always does, but continued moving her head to the sides, so she could take a glance at the movie that Briar´s head was preventing her from seeing.

   -I said don't move!!- Briar raised her voice

   -Shhhh, Ashlynn is sleeping- laughed Apple.

   -So don't move-

   -Ok… I will try.

   With an angry, but jokingly glance, Briar continued painting her friends' nails. Her chosen color was a nude, a more pinkish nude than the once Apple was used to wearing. Briar had a considerable large collection of nail polish, going from vermillion to jade green to lemon yellow, however Apple chose that color, as she was only allowed to wear nude colors on makeup. On clothing she was allowed to wear more colors, specifically the ones of the White family, red and gold, that Apple wore proudly. She didn't see that family law as a prohibition, she understood it better as a way to show their status as the actual royalty of her family.

   She gazed at her friend, her head full of pink strikes, her fluor green nails, her mismatched pijama clothing, with a blue short and an old band t-shirt, so old the entire logo was gone. Then she scanned herself, her two piece champagne color long pijamas, her long and well maintained blond hair, she was exactly like a princess should be, she even took pride in it. She thought about all the lessons, how to be a perfect princess, how to sit, how to dress, how to think. Her mind rambled a while on those teachings, whose memories started when she was a toddler, being told how to play, how and when to talk. She focused on her friend again, in how you could always know what she was thinking, she could express how she felt. She then felt something on her chest, a pain she tends to feel when thinking about other people's behavior. For a long time, she understood that pain as being judgemental, as her being critical of her peers behavior, as something she should take note to not do it herself. But at that moment, relaxed and actually analyzing herself she realized that the pain was another thing. It was jealousy, she was jealous of Briar. She was so open, so chatty, so herself, and everybody loved her for that. She thought of Briar's favorite color, fuschia, something that everyone would know; she was always trying to introduce that color in her daily life. She then focused on her own favorite color, red, the color she took so much pride in, the color of her family, the color of her destiny, when she bites the red apple and gets in a coma, to be recued by her prince. The favorite color of her mother, and her grandma, and every Snow White ever born. She was not special, something that should make her feel connected to her destiny, but it only made her feel… artificial. Everything on her life was monitored, was created, she was her mothers little doll. With horror, she realized she didn't know herself, even though she tried to think about something that differentiated her from her mother and her understanding of the perfect daughter and future queen, she was blank. She was a stranger in her own mind. And then was Briar, she was allowed to find herself, to experiment with her presentation. She was allowed to be. 

   Her eyes alarmingly opened, as the realization settled on her mind, a single tear fell from her blue eyes. The pain of her chest, jealousy, was replaced by guilt, guilt she felt for feeling that of her best friend forever after. Tears continued to fall, she tried to stop them, looking to the ceiling, but it didn't work. She started crying. Briar, surprised by the sudden crying noise, looked up, but Apple´s eyes avoided hers. Briar grabbed her face, with quite more force than she would have liked, but that exactly made her friend look at her in the eyes. She saw desperation, pain and loneliness. She understood her perfectly. Briar smiled a little, physically closer than she never had ever been with anybody. Apple smiled at her back and Briar smiled even bigger, she was so beautiful. Without second thoughts, Apple shortened the distance, and pressed her lips toward Briars. Before she could realize she messed up, Briar started kissing her.It was a long and warm kiss, although pretty inexperienced, but it was the best one that Apple had ever had. Her first kiss was with Daring, it was short and it felt wrong, something was lacking. When the kiss ended, she obviously smiled politely (like she always does) and said that they should wait till they are married, and maybe, she thought, it would be enough there. This kiss, however, felt full, caring, loving, amazing. 

When they separated, both with full smiles on their faces, they hugged. Nothing mattered, because they had each other. They got into bed, grabbed each other's hands, and fell asleep. 

[beanghostprincess]

When I said Jotaro was the gayest Jojo, I lied. It's Josuke. At least Jotaro can be bi for plot purposes but I don't think Josuke could even kiss a girl without feeling something's awfully wrong.

[mintaikk]

Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)

[inclined--plane]

so have we advocated for QPRs being a known relationship option bc its important that people not be boxed in by preconceived labels and notions, or are we just trying to extend the pressure to get into a committed relationship to aromantic people after they try to escape the bounds of amatonormativity

[ratatoast]

my heart yearns for Alastor qpr fanfics...

if I were to potentially write one, perchance

do keep in mind tho that I've never written for hazbin before lol, not even a simple draft

however, as an aroace menace, I feel that it's my job to contribute at least this much haha

edit: it's up :] I made it my pinned post xoxo

[barebon35]

So I'm sure we've all seen those "gay people can never just say I love you they gotta pull this shit [insert any queerbaited scene]" and I realized that the reason gay people in media never say they're gay, beyond y'know not being allowed, is because they're showing without telling. All the scenes are of people silently professing their love and dedication to another through action or forgiveness or sentiment and it's. It's just. They do say it. We do say it. They don't have to say they love each other because it's already been said a hundred times over. "I forgive you" "I chose you" "I remembered" "I came" are all so much more profound to me than hearing someone verbally say they love you. Maybe I'm asexual. Maybe it's digiorno. Maybe it's because with all of these scenarios love is just a given. So it doesn't need to be said, because it's already known.

[velvet-games]

having big feelings about being aroace rn 🥺

[rancidiva]

no. they are not "like siblings". they are literally just good friends. not every platonic relationship needs to be tied or related to familial bonds.

[starswallowingsea]

Don’t just say someone doesn’t have reading comprehension or isn’t “media literate” just because you don’t agree with them lol. Enjoy your shitty gacha game that’ll never have characters get in fulfilling relationships because their target audience is fujos

I was going to take this in good faith until I saw you were sending everyone who reblogged Cryn's response to you asks that clearly show you aren't interested in an actual discussion. Go play D4DJ if you need characters kissing in a CG to prove that they're gay or something if that's what you deem a fulfilling relationship.

[ame-to-ame]

Oh on last rb's note my friend actually read love bullet per my recommendation hehe and she likes it and it makes me so so happy hehe

[antlerkitty]

Sexuality/attraction ramble (started off basic but ended up spewing thoughts):

Honestly feel very insecure about being lesbian sometimes. As masc-presenting person who uses primarily he/him pronouns in real life, and has no she/her or they/them (besides exception of a He/They pronoun pin I have on my backpack because it makes me feel like have control over it when people call me they)... just don't feel lesbian enough. At same time, feel like may be gaybian (gay and lesbian) but just not willing to be in situation where I am not seen as a boy or as a he/him butch creature.

I think medical transition will help with figuring these things out. Am not sure. At same time, with how autism works, have complicated feelings about things like family. Because have complicated definition of family due to not understanding the boundaries between relationships.

Honestly just very confusing. Think ideal situation in most ideal world ever would be to have small commune of people in the forest (all very similar ages besides maybe caregivers) and we're all in a queerplatonic relationship with each other and all like family. But maybe that is weird. Because for me, it's like queerplatonic + familial is base love state. Hard for me to get out of it. If I care about you, I either see you as family, or I see you in queerplatonic way (platonic with added glitter depending on who you are to me). Main exception to this is partner, but even then tend to default to romantic-leaning queerplatonic.

[the-lesbian-orpheus]

I love and cherish by edits and stuff of my dramatic high fantasy guys, my minecraft guys, my silly little monsters, my dramatic sci-fi guys, my animated guys

But can we please also normalize making edits and stuff of like regular ass sitcom guys

Like where are the badass edits of Rosa Diaz, the crush edits of Tahani al Jamil, the ship edits of David and Patrick, the comfort edits of Chidi Anagonye, the fun yet sweet edits of the Derry Girls in their chaos?

I say this as a person who lives in fantasy and whimsy content

I feel like we deserve both

(Ps I rambled a lot about this in the tags so maybe check them out :3 👀👀👀)

[dallonwrites]

okay actually looked at the lover boy wip intro again and this has me crazy because the grief in this was meant to all be about bobby but "remember that his favourite fruit was peaches and try not to cry over it" got me because felix's favourite fruit being peaches is like. a recent but definitive part of his character. and i can't remember if i just used peaches as a placeholder for bobby's favourite fruit (he does not give peach to me) and if i first wrote this before or after i decided peaches were felix's BUT now i'm like. what if this passage is him grieving bobby but it spirals around his grief for his relationship with felix??? find a lover the way you found felix and don't lose him this time but also find a lover because you're trying to find a connection as deep as the one you had with your best friend even though you know it can never be replicated. you can never find a lover that will love you like bobby (platonic, to be clear) loved you. find a lover in the fact you are alive even though it makes you nauseous because it just reminds you that your best friend isn't. how do you grieve someone who's still alive whilst simultaneously grieve someone who isnt? trying to grieve two people in two different ways and you feel guilty at the way they blend and blur because it feels like you lose your separate grips on both of them and you don't feel like you have space in you to accommodate all this ache. and like what if i edited all this to make that parallel more clear?? that his primary grief is bobby because he's the one who's dead but he's also grieving felix and probably doesn't even realise it?? and then the two become blurred?? and if he realised this he would actually feel fucking awful about it and like a bad friend?? haha just kidding unless??

[nellasbookplanet]

I'm so sorry but I'm going to talk about supernatural in the year of our lord 2023, because I just finished good omens season 2 and the way these shows occupy a very similar space in fandom attitudes is driving me insane.

In so many ways, good omens feels like what supernatural could have been, had they actually committed and not flailed around with like 15 seasons of queerbaiting and the most unintentionally funny ending imaginable. You have the demons and the angels, armageddon, team free will vs god's master plan, years of pining and repression and no personal space and small declarations of love. But good omens does it with genuine vulnerability and comittment, not as bait or comic relief or last minute bury you gays. But, because it’s big and well-known and allows itself time and nuance to get where it’s going, so many people really treated it horribly before the drop of season 2 for not immediatelyand explicitly giving them what they wanted.

Like, after the end of season 1 you could really feel the way spn damaged viewers treated them as the same thing. It’s like people were so prepared to be tricked that they came in highly on guard and defensive. Thing is, this manifested as taking anything other than the most bland, on the nose and immediate gay rep as the creators queerbaiting and trying to worm their way out of committing to 'real' queer rep. Gaiman refuses to confirm your 'they are gay men' headcanons? Clearly him being a coward and not the characters, explicitly, being neither gay nor men. Characters have a very close relationship but no kiss? Clearly queerbaiting and not an affirmation of ace/aro relationships, queerplatonic relationships, or even plain old platonic relationships.

There is so much hurt from years of stereotypes and queerbaiting and bury your gays that any attempt to tell a complex queer story - one where relationships take time, or where they don’t always happen, or where horror or tragedy strikes, become nigh on impossible. It becomes hard to distinguish subtext used to be genuine and subtle and queer-friendly from subtext used to queerbait and make fun, and rather than making the effort to tell them apart and giving stories a chance (and taking the risk of getting hurt) all rep must be distilled into the epitome of 'gay' before it’s accepted as good, because that way you cannot be tricked. Hell, just the way it’s referred to as 'rep' rather than 'characters' is telling.

This is noticeable in the way spn fan spaces talk about Cas, too; he’s always 'the gay angel', never the bisexual angel (despite having had female love interests) or the asexual angel (despite being largely uninterested in sex) or the nonbinary angel (despite not being human and on occassion using female vessels as well as male). Does Meg Masters mean nothing to you. Just. Please allow stories their nuance and their time and their right to not always cater to your ship in the exact way you want (or at all) without declaring them bait. It makes you look very silly when you come crawling back the moment a kiss happens.