#they are actually have a queer platonic relationship

[autisticlee]

I hate when people tell me "friendships don't last/will change over time and fade away" and say I need to get used to/accept it. maybe that's easy for YOU. but most of these people also have committed partners that they expect to stick with for life. why can't I want that too? as an aroace person that needs to rely on platonic relationships to get the support and connection I need to thrive in life, and as an autistic and disabled person that needs consistency and routine and security and constant support to feel safe and comfortable to thrive in this society, telling me "people come and go/friendships aren't forever" REALLY HURTS. it feels awful. it makes me feel hopeless and even more alone. makes me feel like i'll always be drifting through life with no support and alone forever until I can't survive anymore because I *need* help and support and consistent companionship to live a healthy and stable life!

being aroace, I don't have the benefit of getting a partner to fill the gaps a lack of friendship leaves. I have no one to turn to when my friends disappear from my life or betray me. I have to rely on these unstable/inconsistent/short-lived relationships. it's not sustainable and makes my life extremely hard and scary and hopeless. so telling me it's "normal" and I should "get used to it" doesn't do anything for me when I need it to last for more reasons than everyone else uses friends for.

I know it's unfair/wrong to "trap" someone into a committed platonic relationship that makes them feel like i'm "trying to date them" (ive had this accusation thrown at me before, then the person ghosts me after) but I really do think I need a committed platonic relationship. one that lasts and one that's two way and secure and consistent. no one wants to offer that though. they save it for their romantic partners only. the sad reality is, romantic relationships are always going to be placed above, and even replace platonic ones. leaving me, an aroace who needs those discarded platonic bonds, out of luck and left out. forever alone, as the old tumblr meme once went (which i'm sure 99% of those people who used the meme are now i'm committed relationships and/or have at least dated a few times)

I know, i'll be told I need a "queer platonic relationship" but that's not as simple as going shopping and picking one out. I dont even know how you get one! that's as much of an enigma to me as dating and making friends! getting a platonic friend to commit to you're friendship for life and be your life partner and not drop you for no reason, as soon as they make a new best friend, or as soon as they start dating? sounds more impossible than simply making casual friends I can convince to play a video game with me once a month (im lucky if they give me time once a year.....or 3)

i've tried establishing with certain people I feel comfortable with and get along with well that I want and need this type of "qpr" but they either mistake it for asking them to date, are afraid of commitment and ghost me immediately, or slowly start to push me away and decide their new friends are better. so it's not something I can just "get" from any friendship i'm finding. i'm not even sure exactly what it would look like. the best I can use to describe it is the found/chosen family trope where a two or more people come together to form a family where they help and protect each other and live together for life. they don't date. they are more than friends. they are a family and need each other and rely on each other and it stays like that. but that often feels like it can only happen in fiction. real humans aren't like that.

however, i'm told by other chosen families/best friends/people in qpr that it is possible. so then comes the dreaded "one day" they all tell me about. (I don't want it one day I want it NOW. i'm living in the present not the future!) so I have a vague idea of what I want/need, but not what it actually looks like, how to find it, where to look, or how to cope without it. I need more than a couple friends I see and talk to once i'm a while. I need more than a group chat. I need more than someone I get coffee with every weekend. I need a roommate, a forever bond. someone I live with and have separate lives from, but also share our lives together at the same time. the perspn who supports me when i need it, the person I support at all times. but someone who doesn't expect romance and sex. someone who isn't looking for "something better" and using me as temporary filler until they get better friends or a partner. someone who doesn't give up and run away from commitment. someone who wants to stay in my life for the rest of life. someone who puts me first and is committed to me as I am to them.

a life partner, or small family group.

but so far I've just been stuck on my own and I dont have the patience or energy to keep waiting 30+ more years for this "one day" to come and I don't have any options to make it come faster....RIGHT NOW is more important and i'm struggling in the present.

sometimes being aroace really sucks....

[kale-0017]

Exactly!! 

it is, first of all, the canonically existing dynamic of Byler, which is so easy to love and understand as a coming of age teen romance, that makes them a genuinely likable ship we want to root for. If you made Byler a straight ship with their story intact, no one would be able to deny the chemistry or the incredible story-telling that defines their relationship. But it is in, some cases, 1) ingrained heteronormativity that makes their narrative development difficult to pick up on in the GA and, in other cases, 2) blatant homophobia towards it being a gay ship that makes them instead written off as delusional and less accepted. 

Meanwhile, let’s just say for a moment that we did make Mileven either gay or lesbian but keep their dynamic intact…this wouldn’t change the fact their arc, as it is written and depicted in the show, is ultimately set up to fail because of their quintessential romantic incompatibility as a result of their lack of healthy communication that gives many of their scenes and arguments an aftertaste of insincerity (and in some cases leaning towards toxicity, even if unintentional on the characters' behalf). So even if they do actually care for each other platonically (and they do), it is so difficult for any of that to come across while they are forcing themselves into a romantic context that is ultimately riddled with lies and disinterest in one another as individual human beings. 

(and then! let’s also just recognize that attempting to apply queerness to mileven isn’t even feasible without the need to plainly rewrite the entire dynamic because nothing in their relationship could have transpired the way it did if they were. so it really just doesn’t work as an argument in any scenario.)

"you would like mileven if it was gay"

but they're not. they didn't make them gay for a reason. their whole fucking couple dynamic is based on the fact that they are a straight couple.

if u guys dont get it youll never get it

[queerclownaf]

A tale of two hearts, an Ever After High Fanfic

   -Don't move- Briar cautioned- I dont want to paint your finger.

   Apple smiled politely, like she always does, but continued moving her head to the sides, so she could take a glance at the movie that Briar´s head was preventing her from seeing.

   -I said don't move!!- Briar raised her voice

   -Shhhh, Ashlynn is sleeping- laughed Apple.

   -So don't move-

   -Ok… I will try.

   With an angry, but jokingly glance, Briar continued painting her friends' nails. Her chosen color was a nude, a more pinkish nude than the once Apple was used to wearing. Briar had a considerable large collection of nail polish, going from vermillion to jade green to lemon yellow, however Apple chose that color, as she was only allowed to wear nude colors on makeup. On clothing she was allowed to wear more colors, specifically the ones of the White family, red and gold, that Apple wore proudly. She didn't see that family law as a prohibition, she understood it better as a way to show their status as the actual royalty of her family.

   She gazed at her friend, her head full of pink strikes, her fluor green nails, her mismatched pijama clothing, with a blue short and an old band t-shirt, so old the entire logo was gone. Then she scanned herself, her two piece champagne color long pijamas, her long and well maintained blond hair, she was exactly like a princess should be, she even took pride in it. She thought about all the lessons, how to be a perfect princess, how to sit, how to dress, how to think. Her mind rambled a while on those teachings, whose memories started when she was a toddler, being told how to play, how and when to talk. She focused on her friend again, in how you could always know what she was thinking, she could express how she felt. She then felt something on her chest, a pain she tends to feel when thinking about other people's behavior. For a long time, she understood that pain as being judgemental, as her being critical of her peers behavior, as something she should take note to not do it herself. But at that moment, relaxed and actually analyzing herself she realized that the pain was another thing. It was jealousy, she was jealous of Briar. She was so open, so chatty, so herself, and everybody loved her for that. She thought of Briar's favorite color, fuschia, something that everyone would know; she was always trying to introduce that color in her daily life. She then focused on her own favorite color, red, the color she took so much pride in, the color of her family, the color of her destiny, when she bites the red apple and gets in a coma, to be recued by her prince. The favorite color of her mother, and her grandma, and every Snow White ever born. She was not special, something that should make her feel connected to her destiny, but it only made her feel… artificial. Everything on her life was monitored, was created, she was her mothers little doll. With horror, she realized she didn't know herself, even though she tried to think about something that differentiated her from her mother and her understanding of the perfect daughter and future queen, she was blank. She was a stranger in her own mind. And then was Briar, she was allowed to find herself, to experiment with her presentation. She was allowed to be. 

   Her eyes alarmingly opened, as the realization settled on her mind, a single tear fell from her blue eyes. The pain of her chest, jealousy, was replaced by guilt, guilt she felt for feeling that of her best friend forever after. Tears continued to fall, she tried to stop them, looking to the ceiling, but it didn't work. She started crying. Briar, surprised by the sudden crying noise, looked up, but Apple´s eyes avoided hers. Briar grabbed her face, with quite more force than she would have liked, but that exactly made her friend look at her in the eyes. She saw desperation, pain and loneliness. She understood her perfectly. Briar smiled a little, physically closer than she never had ever been with anybody. Apple smiled at her back and Briar smiled even bigger, she was so beautiful. Without second thoughts, Apple shortened the distance, and pressed her lips toward Briars. Before she could realize she messed up, Briar started kissing her.It was a long and warm kiss, although pretty inexperienced, but it was the best one that Apple had ever had. Her first kiss was with Daring, it was short and it felt wrong, something was lacking. When the kiss ended, she obviously smiled politely (like she always does) and said that they should wait till they are married, and maybe, she thought, it would be enough there. This kiss, however, felt full, caring, loving, amazing. 

When they separated, both with full smiles on their faces, they hugged. Nothing mattered, because they had each other. They got into bed, grabbed each other's hands, and fell asleep. 

[beanghostprincess]

When I said Jotaro was the gayest Jojo, I lied. It's Josuke. At least Jotaro can be bi for plot purposes but I don't think Josuke could even kiss a girl without feeling something's awfully wrong.

[mintaikk]

Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)

[contagious-watermelon]

so have we advocated for QPRs being a known relationship option bc its important that people not be boxed in by preconceived labels and notions, or are we just trying to extend the pressure to get into a committed relationship to aromantic people after they try to escape the bounds of amatonormativity

[ratatoast]

my heart yearns for Alastor qpr fanfics...

if I were to potentially write one, perchance

do keep in mind tho that I've never written for hazbin before lol, not even a simple draft

however, as an aroace menace, I feel that it's my job to contribute at least this much haha

edit: it's up :] I made it my pinned post xoxo

[barebon35]

So I'm sure we've all seen those "gay people can never just say I love you they gotta pull this shit [insert any queerbaited scene]" and I realized that the reason gay people in media never say they're gay, beyond y'know not being allowed, is because they're showing without telling. All the scenes are of people silently professing their love and dedication to another through action or forgiveness or sentiment and it's. It's just. They do say it. We do say it. They don't have to say they love each other because it's already been said a hundred times over. "I forgive you" "I chose you" "I remembered" "I came" are all so much more profound to me than hearing someone verbally say they love you. Maybe I'm asexual. Maybe it's digiorno. Maybe it's because with all of these scenarios love is just a given. So it doesn't need to be said, because it's already known.

[velvet-games]

having big feelings about being aroace rn 🥺

[starswallowingsea]

Don’t just say someone doesn’t have reading comprehension or isn’t “media literate” just because you don’t agree with them lol. Enjoy your shitty gacha game that’ll never have characters get in fulfilling relationships because their target audience is fujos

I was going to take this in good faith until I saw you were sending everyone who reblogged Cryn's response to you asks that clearly show you aren't interested in an actual discussion. Go play D4DJ if you need characters kissing in a CG to prove that they're gay or something if that's what you deem a fulfilling relationship.

[dallonwrites]

okay actually looked at the lover boy wip intro again and this has me crazy because the grief in this was meant to all be about bobby but "remember that his favourite fruit was peaches and try not to cry over it" got me because felix's favourite fruit being peaches is like. a recent but definitive part of his character. and i can't remember if i just used peaches as a placeholder for bobby's favourite fruit (he does not give peach to me) and if i first wrote this before or after i decided peaches were felix's BUT now i'm like. what if this passage is him grieving bobby but it spirals around his grief for his relationship with felix??? find a lover the way you found felix and don't lose him this time but also find a lover because you're trying to find a connection as deep as the one you had with your best friend even though you know it can never be replicated. you can never find a lover that will love you like bobby (platonic, to be clear) loved you. find a lover in the fact you are alive even though it makes you nauseous because it just reminds you that your best friend isn't. how do you grieve someone who's still alive whilst simultaneously grieve someone who isnt? trying to grieve two people in two different ways and you feel guilty at the way they blend and blur because it feels like you lose your separate grips on both of them and you don't feel like you have space in you to accommodate all this ache. and like what if i edited all this to make that parallel more clear?? that his primary grief is bobby because he's the one who's dead but he's also grieving felix and probably doesn't even realise it?? and then the two become blurred?? and if he realised this he would actually feel fucking awful about it and like a bad friend?? haha just kidding unless??

[the-lesbian-orpheus]

I love and cherish by edits and stuff of my dramatic high fantasy guys, my minecraft guys, my silly little monsters, my dramatic sci-fi guys, my animated guys

But can we please also normalize making edits and stuff of like regular ass sitcom guys

Like where are the badass edits of Rosa Diaz, the crush edits of Tahani al Jamil, the ship edits of David and Patrick, the comfort edits of Chidi Anagonye

I say this as a person who lives in fantasy and whimsy content

I feel like we deserve both

(Ps I rambled a lot about this in the tags so maybe check them out :3 👀👀👀)

[nellasbookplanet]

I'm so sorry but I'm going to talk about supernatural in the year of our lord 2023, because I just finished good omens season 2 and the way these shows occupy a very similar space in fandom attitudes is driving me insane.

In so many ways, good omens feels like what supernatural could have been, had they actually committed and not flailed around with like 15 seasons of queerbaiting and the most unintentionally funny ending imaginable. You have the demons and the angels, armageddon, team free will vs god's master plan, years of pining and repression and no personal space and small declarations of love. But good omens does it with genuine vulnerability and comittment, not as bait or comic relief or last minute bury you gays. But, because it’s big and well-known and allows itself time and nuance to get where it’s going, so many people really treated it horribly before the drop of season 2 for not immediatelyand explicitly giving them what they wanted.

Like, after the end of season 1 you could really feel the way spn damaged viewers treated them as the same thing. It’s like people were so prepared to be tricked that they came in highly on guard and defensive. Thing is, this manifested as taking anything other than the most bland, on the nose and immediate gay rep as the creators queerbaiting and trying to worm their way out of committing to 'real' queer rep. Gaiman refuses to confirm your 'they are gay men' headcanons? Clearly him being a coward and not the characters, explicitly, being neither gay nor men. Characters have a very close relationship but no kiss? Clearly queerbaiting and not an affirmation of ace/aro relationships, queerplatonic relationships, or even plain old platonic relationships.

There is so much hurt from years of stereotypes and queerbaiting and bury your gays that any attempt to tell a complex queer story - one where relationships take time, or where they don’t always happen, or where horror or tragedy strikes, become nigh on impossible. It becomes hard to distinguish subtext used to be genuine and subtle and queer-friendly from subtext used to queerbait and make fun, and rather than making the effort to tell them apart and giving stories a chance (and taking the risk of getting hurt) all rep must be distilled into the epitome of 'gay' before it’s accepted as good, because that way you cannot be tricked. Hell, just the way it’s referred to as 'rep' rather than 'characters' is telling.

This is noticeable in the way spn fan spaces talk about Cas, too; he’s always 'the gay angel', never the bisexual angel (despite having had female love interests) or the asexual angel (despite being largely uninterested in sex) or the nonbinary angel (despite not being human and on occassion using female vessels as well as male). Does Meg Masters mean nothing to you. Just. Please allow stories their nuance and their time and their right to not always cater to your ship in the exact way you want (or at all) without declaring them bait. It makes you look very silly when you come crawling back the moment a kiss happens.

[a-wins-a-win]

unpopular opinion?? maybe?

Matt & Ivy have a really interesting dynamic!! both pre- and post-canon!! with or without romantic undertones!! either reciprocal or one-sided!!

and obviously it has to be handled with a particular level of care/respect BUT I think if we allowed them enough grace there is space to explore a really interesting possibility for that relationship.

[nitroish]

sorry if this is in bad taste but the wording of your last post makes it seem like someone thought u and quirkle were both link irl and were upset at the idea of two real life people dating which is hysterical to me

anon you quite literally hit the nail on the head. they saw me go by legend, saw me call quirks my partner, and called our Real Life Relationship ( that is ENTIRELY Platonic by the way !!!! ) linkcest. it blew my fucking mind.

its hysterical tho ur right. moving from the fact quirks and i arent even Dating nor are we romantic and therefor cant be considered linkcest by default, can you imagine their reaction to my two partners that i Do kiss gayly? my boyfriend and my partner that i Do kiss ??? woof . they called the wrong relationship i have linkcest if they want to be loud and weird about me being Gay and kissing someone behind a dennys

[alexcole1326]

when you get a platonic gf❤️❤️❤️ (qpr)