#IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW

[mimiiiiiiiiisstuff]

"Young and Beautiful"

Prologue

ya'll, I cannot sleep with my arm in this stupid cast, so i started rereading "the great Gatsby" (my comfort book) and i got this idea. i know, i know, i have 3 unfinished fics buttttttt i'm injured and this is my blog and i have free will so i'm writing this. This is yandere romantic batboys and bruce x reader. BUT set in the roaring 20's. Send in asks, requests, ideas, and just what you think about this! Likes, comments, reblogs and asks are encouraged and keep me going! Love yall <333. This is written in 1st person, reader is recalling events in her journal. This is a rough draft for the prologue! Sorry if it doesnt make sense, i'm high off pain meds writing this bc i'm BORED.

The first time I saw Jason Todd, he was nothing to me Just another boy in my father’s estate, covered in dirt, hands rough from labor, his bruised knuckles proof of a fight he hadn’t won. His blue eyes were sharp, full of something wild, something untamed, something that made you bristle, the kind of fire you knew to stay away from, even at 12 years old.

The first time I spoke to Jason Todd, two years after I saw him, I thought he was filth.

He was a boy covered in dirt, his hands stained with mud and the smell of horses, his knuckles raw from a fight he clearly hadn’t won. His face was sharp, bruised, skinny and too wild for someone who worked under my father’s name. He was nothing, just another street rat lucky enough to be given work in my father’s stables, another nameless stray that old Mr. Wilkes had dragged in from the gutters of Gotham. He smelled like sweat, hay, and something sharp, something angry.

I was fourteen years old and wore pearls around my throat, a silk dress with delicate lace at the sleeves. My father’s estate stretched over rolling green fields, our mansion standing tall like something out of a dream. My mother’s hands were soft, her perfume sweet, and I had never known hunger or want. My world was a world of glittering lights and expensive champagne, of high society and grand parties, of people who smiled with their teeth but whispered behind painted fans.

Jason Todd did not belong in my world.

Yet, somehow, he slipped in like a stain on silk.

We met on the back steps of the estate, where the stable boys cut through to the gardens. I was waiting for my automobile when he nearly ran into me, boots dragging dust over my polished shoes.

Jason Todd? He was filth beneath my shoes.

Or at least, that’s what I told myself.

Because the first time I met him, he nearly ran into me.

He didn’t bow like other servants did, he didn’t apologize profusely and beg for forgiveness.

He barely even looked at me before muttering, “Watch it,” like I was in his way.

I had never been spoken to like that in my life.

I hated him immediately.

I took a startled step back, wrinkling my nose at the smell of sweat, hay, and horse.

The nerve.

I straightened my back like Daddy told me to when I wanted to look serious and I tilted my chin up as I stared down at him. "Excuse me?"

Jason smirked, slow and lazy, eyes glinting with amusement. "Did I stutter?"

I had never wanted to slap someone so badly.

Instead, I remember turning and walked away, forgetting my plans of going into town, heels clicking sharply against the stone, vowing to never look at him again and to hate him forever, no matter how handsome he was,.

That vow didn’t last long, especially when he took off his shirt.

Jason was everywhere.

I saw him at the stables, his shirtless back slick with sweat, muscles shifting under tanned skin as he worked. I saw him sneaking apples from the kitchen, disappearing into the trees, laughter on his lips. I saw him in the streets, fists flying, always coming back with fresh bruises, always alive in a way no one else was.

And then, you heard about him.

"That stable boy got into another fight," the maids whispered. "Damn near killed the other boy, apparently the other kid got smart about his lady."

At the time, I thought the strange burning feeling in my gut was disgust at even hearing Jason's name. Now I know, what I felt was pure jealousy, not knowing the 'lady' Jason nearly killed a boy over was me.

"He’s trouble," my mother warned when I asked about him at dinner. "Keep away from him, sweetheart."

"He won’t last long here," my mother sighed. "That kind of boy never does, no matter how much of a soft spot your father has for him."

My father pitied Jason, told me I oughta be nicer to him like I am to the other workers (he would regret that statement soon.)

He had no one. No mother, no father, no family, nothing but the clothes on his back and determination. He had what my father called "the look of a man who'd rather die than fail" and my father respected that.

But Jason did last.

I hated him.

Hated the way he smirked at me from across the gardens, like he knew something I didn’t.

I hated the way he never bowed, never apologized, never treated me like the others did.

I hated that when I was alone, when my father’s friends spoke about marrying me off to the sons of their business partners, I thought of Jason Todd instead.

The first conversation I had with Jason Todd was after I had fought with my father.

It was about marriage. About duty. About a boy I didn’t love.

I ran into the garden dramatically ignoring my father's desperate calls, pearls at my throat, tears in my eyes.

And Jason was already there.

Sprawled under an oak tree, cigarette between his lips, watching me like he’d been waiting for this moment all his life.

"You rich girls cry over the dumbest shit," he muttered.

I whipped around. "What did you just say to me?" How dare he speak to me like I was any other girl, like this wasn't my home, like he didn't work for my father.

Jason pushed himself up, boots kicking up dirt as he smirked. "You ever go to bed hungry?"

My breath caught. He had a point, you were privileged.

"Ever steal to survive?" His voice was low, teasing, sharp. "Ever wake up in the morning and wonder if you’ll still have a roof over your head by sundown?"

I didn’t answer, for the first time in years I felt something close to shame.

Jason tilted his head, his eyes gleaming with resentment. "Didn’t think so, princess."

I hated him. He made me feel childish. He humbled me. He burst my perfect bubble.

And I loved him for it.

I loved him for making you feel something real.

And that was the beginning of everything.

I loved Jason Todd.

I loved him when he me you out of the house at midnight and made me ride my horse bareback through the fields.

I loved him when he knocked the rich boy who called me a tease's teeth out.

I loved him when he threw pebbles at my window on the third floor and scaled the walls to my balcony.

I loved him when he kissed me for the first time at 14 under the summer stars, hands gripping my waist, mouth desperate against mine.

"You’re my Jason, my Jaybird," I whispered against his lips. Corny, but nothing felt better to say, especially when I saw his face.

Jason smiled like I had given him the whole damn world.

And he? He was my whole world.

When Jason was seventeen and I was fifteen, he walked into my father’s grand house, dressed in his best suit, nervous but determined and proud, his hands clean for once, his boots polished.

He asked my father for my hand in marriage. He asked my father for my hand and I thought he would say yes. Daddy always thought he was a hard worker, called him a real good sport.

He stood before my father and said, “I love her, sir. I’ll make her happy. Give me a chance. I ain't got much now, but one day I will. I'll give her what she's got and more.”

My father just laughed.

“Boy,” he said, shaking his head, “she’s not meant for men like you.”

Jason left that night, whispering a promise against my skin.

"I’ll come back for you, I'll be great. Be a man like how your daddy wants, rich and proper, he'll have to say yes."

I waited, god knows I did.

I wrote letters to the last address he gave me every single day.

For five years. Till I turned twenty. I never looked at another man, I had my Jason.

I waited for him to reply, fought off suitors and pressure from my mother. I waited for a reply, that he was coming soon, that he missed me.

I waited.

And my Jaybird never came back.

My father loved me.

He regretted turning Jason away five years later, when I still refused to marry. He never forced me to marry, not even when the years passed and my suitors grew frustrated with my refusals.

He saw my misery, my longing and admitted, “I should’ve said yes. I should’ve let you have him.”

He thought my Jason was a passing infatuation, he wondered what people would say about his daughter marrying the stable boy.

He wished he saw my love for Jason sooner.

But love wasn’t enough to keep the debt collectors away.

I knew something was wrong when my father began to look stressed, when my parents began to argue, and when I heard my mother cry herself to sleep after selling her favorite pearls.

My father was going to loose everything all at once.

The steel business wasn't what it used to be.

And then suddenly, Bruce Wayne arrived like a knight in shining armor.

He was older than me, 18 years my senior. Refined, powerful, and dangerously charming.

And most importantly, rich. He was exactly what I needed to stop my family's fall from grace.

Bruce courted me like a gentleman.

He sent roses every morning, took me to the finest restaurants, whispered in my ear about a future where I would never want for anything again.

He was patient.

He never forced me to love him.

He only asked for one thing.

"Let me take care of you."

I kept Bruce waiting for three months. All I could do was think of Jason. I knew he was not returning, that he either was dead or found some other pretty girl to make promises to.

I told myself love was not enough to fill an empty stomach and keep my parents happy like they did for me.

I told myself that Jason Todd was not coming back to save me, yet each morning I woke up waiting for a letter or pebbles thrown at my window.

After four months of courting, I decided.

And at twenty, I became Mrs. Bruce Wayne.

Jason Todd never sent me a single letter, but I still dreamed of my Jaybird even as I looked at the massive ring on my finger.

OKKKKK SO WHAT YA'LL THINK??? CONTINUE OR DELETE??? FLOP OR BOP? SEND IN ASKS!!!! I MISS YALL! THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING ROMANCE W JASON AND BRUCE. I REALLY LIKE THIS AU!!!! WHAT DO YALL THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN? SORRU IF IT SUCKS OR DOESNT MAKE SENSE, I'M SO HIGH BRO.

BE NICE PLEASE, I'M IN PAIN! THIS IS NOT EDITED OR PROOF READ.

[tanasha-not-yet]

im silent

.

im not saying a word.

dala? komu dala ona nihuya ne davala. eto on dast

the suicide boy got unsuicided But it doesnt decrease the number of his problems

'he's Dagur ! since when anything he does make sense??'

as ready to go from 0 to 100 as always :)

OMG I THOUGHT HE WAS PRETENDING I FORGOT THESE TWO WERE UNDERCOVER

so so soooooooo miserable damn is this porn or wh

a man as miserable as hes threatening indeed is a treat

yippeee

YIPPEEE

oh no?? oh noo???? nooooo :((((

livebloggin into silence actually feels nice

'although.. hes the most handsome gronkle in the group i mean.. they might know hes missing-'

i love dagur

im physically shaking

'and not that gronkles arent the coolest most Awesome dragons ever but-'

i love dagur

go kitty go kitty go kitty go

'shall we go rescue our brother..?' - hiccup

'that feels so Good !!!! reminds me of my YOUTH' - dagur the ond 21 yo senior citizen

he is the way he is.

'ALRIGHT hiccup ! before you start yellin-' 'im not gonna yell :o' 'y youre not??'

CAN HE STOP TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF FOR A DAMN SECOND.

UPDATE NO HE CANT

gotta be some coping mechanism ??? no no not coping but definitely caused by all the guilt

all teen dagur ever does is trying to get the skrill and look as cool and tough as physically possible while being a twink

all adult dagur ever does is trying to kill himself or reunite with someone

alright 7:26 in the morning i gotta some sleeping to do

upd i failed

just wanted to say that i need to know shatter better i mean is he fine with all this risking-your-life-for-literally-anything thingie? sure dagur loves him but hes also still very much deranged

plus

i love how smooth his getting into dragon-hunter-fighting-jorney was. like first there was brotherhood example from riker, then near death experience and months of isolation - okay not too smooth - anyway next his suicide mission - andd next his dragon saving mission.

hes a human analog of a tv being hit so bad it doesn't work anymore and then hit again and it works perfectly. like how did trauma fix you

so rtte...............

[that-hippie-user]

Without hypnosis, how would you encourage someone to become a diaper-addicted bedwetter? What’s the best argument you could make to win them over?

i'd like to answer this in the form of a ramble. no hypnosis, no traps, no triggers. literally just a lesson from me to you. click below if you're curious.

some folks describe the world we're in as one that tries to fit you into a mold, to shape you a desired way.

but a mold is a very simple process, pour liquid substance into a vessel with the desired shape, let it solidify, and its done. taking an otherwise shapeless thing and giving it shape in a very easy way.

life is not a mold, but an extruder.

a length of meterial is sent down a tube, which itself gradually shifts from the original shape, to the desired one.

the process is gradual, the material shapes itself almost as if it were meant to, but it's being guided to that shape by the tunnel its in.

you werent given a role from the start and made to fit it, you were gradually acclimated to that role until it became normal.

its the small things. being corrected on how you sit, or how loud your voice is, or telling you to stop tapping your feet, or saying particular interests dont fit your role.

i used to naturally cross my legs, i had an interest in pink, i loved made for dvd cartoons like strawberry shortcake or tinker bell. turned out i was transgender, and the role of "boy" was one i was shaped to be through peer pressure.

now, what does this have to do with diapees?

put simply, you NEVER had a say in potty training.

kids often have no say in a lot of things, its taken for granted that a kid needs guidance if they're gonna be safe in this world. but potty training is a universal lesson.

how did YOU react at the time? to being told you have to "graduate" from diapers. were you agreeable? upset? did you try to rebel? it doesnt matter, all roads lead to you being potty trained.

its so deeply ingrained in our society its practically a core foundation. think about this for a moment, KINDNESS is not mandatory. sure, as a kid you're taught to share and care, but how many people do you know who carried that into adulthood? in fact, in a capitalist sense, kindness is a weakness to the goal of profit.

so, we live in a world where you CANNOT under ANY circumstance choose to be diapered, unless you "need" to, like, if there is no alternative. and yet you can live life as the biggest jerk in history and you're not even guaranteed a reprimand for it.

and yet... everyone ALSO agrees that being a kid is the best thing in the world, and you should enjoy it while you can because it wont last, you cant go back to that.

and that much IS true... but you CAN go back in some ways.

oh sure, you WILL grow up. lessons get learned, fears develop, motor function improves, your body gets taller and stronger, and your brain naturally develops as it goes, that much is ALL true...

but... you CAN still wear diapers... in fact, it almost seems like you're gently encouraged to? cuz like... every store with a pharmacy has a nearby section for adult diapers, they got ENTIRE ISLES of diapers. in every size you'd need.

because as much as society tries to tell us diapers are meant to be left behind, we cant deny that sometimes they are necessary, stores NEED these if they can have them.

and if thats the case... if systems are in place for people to wear diapers... what exactly is wrong with using them?

and furthermore, its probably the ONE holdover from childhood you can always go back to.

no matter how big you get, you cant change one universal fact. diapers exist, they have an intended function, and you CAN use them, if you are brave.

and if you do? you're being a TRUE rebel, moreso than most really. you're doing the ONE thing adults must NEVER do, the thing that potty training was MADE for.

if you wear and use diapees, you are choosing to reject an instinct of adulthood in favor of your own personal rebellious joy, and that is BADASS.

and why shouldnt you? if gender is a social construct, then so is growing up. you CAN redefine what it means to you. you can decide for yourself what it means.

and if you do... you ALSO have the option... to take it FURTHER.

because you know... training like that can be UNDONE too.

not fully, mind, your body now has the ability to know when it needs to go, that much stays.

buuuuut. your ability to hold it CAN be undone.

;3 and thats not even hypnosis, all you have to do is use your diapees! X3 im not joking, peeing yourself outside of a bathroom scenario gives your body and brain permission to do it elsewhere.

UwU and with time... it gets harder to hold it. ;3 how long does it take?

3 WEEKS

3 weeks of continued diaper use is all it takes to lose control.

but why? why lose control? what point is there is making you wet yourself? (or mess if thats your thing. X3 its certainly mine!)

because if using diapers is rebellion, then unpotty training is FREEDOM

its the ultimate middle finger to the training you were given, a sound rejection of the thing you were taught is most important.

and once you reject that... the skies the limit!

do you have any idea how much CONFIDENCE it takes to willingly make yourself a puddlepants?

if you're willing to do that, no force on this earth can stop you. gender? redefine it as you please. fashion? you wear diapers for underwear, wear whatever you want. hobbies? passions? do what you like! ;3 not like bathroom breaks can stop you anymore.

so go nuts! have fun! live life on YOUR terms.

diapers are fun, diapers are soothing, diapers are freeing, and diapers are YOURS to wear.

be free, be a mushtush!

[wackywatchdotcom]

absolutely adore how each of the characters is flawed in a way that makes sense for their personality and how theyre generally coping. like idk if i have it in me to make an entire post talking about each character in this context but like. its smth i think abt a lot and i think its a testament to the shows great writing

(long post that turned into rambling abt pomni for a little over 1000 words under the cut)

like take pomni for example. she is incredibly cowardly. while she CAN actually get through a lot of horrifying things which, in turn, is why she IS brave- a contradictory trait that i deeply enjoy bc having characters w seemingly contradictory traits makes them feel all the more human since people are hardly ever just one way or another- she will panic her way through a bad situation

she very obviously cares about people. that isnt something thats new, she didnt learn compassion in eps 2 or 3 or 4. not that shes the most comforting presence a person can have, but the way she talks to people is indicative of her having already been a person who cared about others- bad situations can often just bring out the worst in people

in the pilot, she doesnt trust literally anyone. she starts to be more compassionate towards the others eps 2 onward, but its very obvious in the pilot that shes scared as hell and that makes her not trust any of the people around her. i dont think she thinks theyre dangerous, its not that kinda distrust, but she doesnt know any of these people, and bc her priority of 'panic your way out of bad situations' means that shes not really gonna stop for people she doesnt trust at all. its cruel in a way. but it does make sense for her

and like the thing is im not really... one for trying to decide whether or not a character is 'good' or not. its kinda subjective and a pointless question to answer, and runs the risk of overly simplifying a them and their writing. add to that that i dont really like the idea that a character must experience Consequences for Every mistake in order to be a 'good' person. it feels weird. like ofc if a character whos a dick (ie jax) experiences consequences im not really all that concerned but deciding a character must be yelled at or something in order to be better just feels strange. i think its much more powerful that a character gradually grows out of WANTING to

which is why i think pomni feels so great- she is certainly flawed but atm im glad the show doesnt keep trying to emphasize that oh wow isnt it bad that she did that? instead, shes growing BC of more positive things. like finding solace in those around her. when characters are in a horrific situation thats going to make them act out, it makes more sense that personal growth doesnt come from punishing a character for responding poorly to the situation. from a writing perspective, this show instead rewards characters for choosing to be better

because narratively punishing pomni for acting selfishly when scared wouldnt make her trust those around her any more. it wouldnt fix the issue here

anyway thats its own spiel. but pomni is also, imo, more socially confident than i think people would assume. not that shes GOOD at socializing, thats a different topic. but with her general nervous demeanor i think its easy to assume that shes socially anxious, but she actually comes across like she doesnt really give a shit about social things. shes deeply blunt and tends to do what she wants in conversations. she doesnt try to be mean and doesnt WANT people to be upset, but shes very candid about her thoughts. its a very fun trait for a character to have, bc i dont think shed assume herself to be super incredible at socializing, but it doesnt seem to be smth she gets worried abt

i think socially most of her stress comes from trusting those around her. and she will make it very clear if she doesnt trust someone. because shes nervous and blunt and if she doesnt like you, you will know. either way, shes not shy. remember, this is a woman who crawled on the floor of a public setting knowing full well that gummigoo is a complex and lifelike ai, and when she got caught she was awkward for sure, but she didnt seem worried

and on another note? i think smth thats prob gonna come up more in the show, since it already has w gangle, is that the characters in the show already had personal problems. the shows official site synopsis implies this too. and while i could go all day about the implications of this for each of the characters im gonna keep it to pomni

imo, pomni absolutely already had something going on before the show. i mean, not that anyone upon being kidnapped and losing their body and general autonomy is going to respond well, but the way that pomnis stress presents honestly gives me the feeling that she is someone who already had some sort of anxiety disorder (or smth similar- im not an expert and theres frankly a lot of things her stress can look like). people react in different ways in a crisis, especially if theyve experienced similar emotions before. and with how quickly she defaults to dissociating before shes even been in the circus for an hour really makes it come across like she genuinely had some problems with stress before even coming here

and also the fact that shes not as anxious by day two. she seems majorly out of it, of course, and having experienced what is implied to have been an abnormally bad day even by circus standards on her very first day itd make sense to be exhausted, but she moves from 'so scared she cant think right' to 'dejected and exhausted' extremely quickly. being thrown off the truck seems to kick the panic back in but thats beside the point. she got past the initial fear in a relatively short amount of time for someone that seems SO easily panicked that it does make me feel like shes someone who is more 'used' to the feeling. it can make you adapt to bad situations faster. in a worse way (not that she HAS completely adapted i think thatd be incorrect but. you get the idea)

all that to say that it then makes even more sense for her to react kinda badly. i dont think anyone (no matter what they think- its easy to assume youd react well in a bad situation but when something actually happens, its very, very different) would handle the situation, but her tendency to be kinda selfish and rude to ppl she doesnt trust makes sense. it doesnt make her bad or smth it just... makes her feel more real

anyway this post is way longer than i intended. this is exactly why i wouldnt be able to do this with all the main characters rn HAHA cus if i tried to do this w the entire cast i think this would constitute an academic essay

[mintaikk]

Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)

[pigswithwings]

above all else a trans woman is a person. above all else a trans women is a woman who goes to the same grocery store as you and buys fruits in the same grocery cart as you and goes home and eats her dinner the same as you. above all else a trans woman is a woman who dresses like you do and talks the same way you do. above all else a trans woman is a woman who wants to be cared about the same way you want to be cared about and a trans woman is a woman who makes friends the same way you make friends. above all else you should care about trans women because they are people. treat her as such.

[mochasucculent]

Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in

[ruporas]

getting the attention of the humanoid typhoon

[nocek]

And this concludes the grand crossover event

(or does it?)

(it does but I was given a great idea for how to solve Gwen's problem :) )

the timeline of previous relevant comics:

[Jeff has a great fashion sense and Peter is the best hooker]

[Jeff is found and fucks are lost]

[bro landed up in the wrong universe and all he got out of it is a lousy bow]

[tar-thelien]

Look I´m a full believer that you should ship what you want and not harass others for their ships BUT

Lately on the Sauron/Mairon tag I´ve seen some people say he wouldn´t be interested in men!??!? Like I´m sorry to break it to you but he literally saw the most beautiful woman to ever exist and instead of thinking about his own desires he instantly thought "my boss would be so proud of me if I gave her to him."

WHAT´S NOT GAY ABOUT THAT CREATURE!?!??!?

Also on a smaller note the few posts that say Sauron could NEVER be gay are literally calling people weird for shipping him with men?? So, could we please just go back to shipping the mass murder with who we want to and stop bothering others with who they ship him with?? No?

So ship who you want and have fun, talk with those who ship the same and all that, but don´t go in and accuse others for having the wrong ship :)

EDIT: just to make sure everyone understands I DON´T IN ANY WAY SUPPORT PEOPLE WHO POLICE SHIPS OR SHAME PEOPLE FOR THEIR SHIP OR ACCUSING THEM OF NOT FOLLOWING CANON ETC ship who you want and don´t bother people who have another ship and try to "teach" them about your ship if they don´t ask for it.

[meamiki]

mira !!! :]

[ratatatastic]

maffhew who refuses to say runebergin torttu because he knows hes gonna butcher it so bad he might be kicked out of the country the second he tries and staunchly avoids that by going "the one dessert that barky is going to have to explain 😃"

sasha who gets faced with the most generic description of everything hes ever eaten in his life so far because of maffhew and going "???... oh you mean runebergin torttu!"

"he did good he liked the food and he likes the finland so far so its good" sasha says with so much pride now that all the anxiety has left his system that his husband teammate is enjoying his country and doesnt hate it

media availability | 10.29.24 (x)(x)

the smile of a man who knowlingly doomed his husband and said husband using all his brain power to context clues his way to whatever the fuck he just got asked that his brain is running hotter than a mid 2012 macbook air thats somehow still alive in the year of the lord 2024 but girl does she chug along shes louder than a fighter jet

[tubbytarchia]

@mcyt-yuri-week day 4 Grief!! Need Pearl to be held always and forever!! That's all

[uzumaki-is-empty-head]

Goldenlaurals enjoyers....... I come bearing gifts

[doodlesketchgirl]

binge-watched the webseries, had the urge to redraw this scene real quick

Reblogs >>>> likes

ref under the cut

[vanlegion]