#they all got their own things going on so please feel free to ask about them!
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Youâll Get Whatâs Coming.
POTENTIAL TLOU SPOILERS!!! This is just a lil blurb about your reaction to Joels death. With all the images coming out of Pedro in season twoâŚIâve been mentally preparing myself and this came to mind!
Joel Miller x Fem Reader
Word count: 553
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, Fem reader, major character death, murder, canon typical violence. Explicit language, let me know if I missed any!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
OkayâŚSo imagine you showed up with Ellie to witness Joelâs death. Youâre being held down by members of Abbyâs group. Thrashing around as hard as you can to get free in hopes of saving Joel.
âSTOP! PLEASE STOP! LET US GO!â You plead.
âYouâre gonna fucking die! Ellie screams.
âKill me instead! Let him go!â You offer.
Abby shakes her head, having already made her choice. When Owen barges in demanding they get out of there. He worried that the rest of Jackson is going to come searching for you guys and likely kill them. They arenât exactly wrong to worry.
âLet him go. Let him go!â Ellie begs.
--
âYouâre done.â Owen growls.
âYou want what I want, right?â Abby counters.
âEnd it. Now.â Owen concludes.
Everyone takes a tentative step away, Abby tightens her grip on the golf club, tears stream down your face as you prepare for the worst.
âJoel get upâŚJoel, fucking get up. Please stop! Please donât do thisâŚJoel, please get up!â
âJoel! Baby please you have to get up! Please let us go! Joel!â
With that Abby raises the golf club and brings it down. Successfully killing her target.
âNOOO!â Ellie cries.
âJOELLLL!â Youâre sobbing at this point. âYou fucking bitch! I will kill you!â
--
For reasons you will never understand, Abby let Tommy, Ellie, and you go that day. Since then, you have made it your lifeâs mission to track her down and kill her. Tommy was right there with you despite Mariaâs protests.
âI got some intelâŚwe might have Abbyâs location.â Tommy informed you.
âGood! When do we leave?â
âFirst thing.â He stated.
âAre you sure you want to do this? Ellie asks.
âIâm positive. She took everything from me, and I am going to make sure she getâs hers in the end.â You said with finality.
--
Tommyâs intel had proven right. You had managed to track Abby down. The two of you had discussed your plan which was to kill everyone who was involved that day and when you found her, Tommy knew to let you pull the trigger. Joel may have been his brother, but he was your everything and he could understand that feeling.
âReady?â Tommy asked.
âAs Iâll ever be.â
The two of you made your way through the compound theyâd taken over. Slowly but surely taking them out one-by-one. You were making your way down a long corridor when you heard voices, a man and a womanâŚyou assumed it had to be Abby and Owen. They sounded frantic, trying to plan their escape from your tirade.
Tommy kicked the door in and immediately fired a shot at Owen. He dropped to the floor; Tommy made his way over to him and you stepped in behind Tommy. He was quick to fire another shot to Owenâs head.
You held your gun up in front of you, pointing it directly at Abby.
âPlease! You have to understand! He killed my father. My only family!â Abby tried to gain sympathy.
âYour father was trying to kill an innocent child.â You spat.
âHe was trying to save us!â
âAnd Joel was trying to save Ellie. Her life isnât less significant than anyone elseâs.â You explained.
âPlease! He was my father!â Abby pleaded.
âAnd Joel was my husband.â You spoke, pulling the trigger.
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel the last of us#joel miller fanfic#joel miller tlou#joel x reader#joel x you#joel miller au#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x you#the last of us hbo#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fic#the last of us au#swept away fic#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#tlou fanfiction#fanfiction#joel miller one shot#pedro pascal fanfiction#the last of us#joelyyyy#tlou#joel tlou#joel x y/n#pedro pascal characters
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Seeing that other ask made me decide to actually ask this directly but like the other day /766229604596842496/ this got me wanting to write some fic; but Iâm really new to all this and donât know the social rules and expectations of if thatâs okay or only okay in certain methods or what have you? Like Iâd love to write and share it on ao3 as my first fic but I donât want to step wrongly about how to do it if you donât mind
Here are the important things when you're posting your first fic on AO3.
ONE: Make sure to select any of the four appropriate archive warnings for your fic.
These are:
"Author chose not to warn": This means "read at your own risk". Select this warning if you don't want to spoil your readers as to whether your fic has any content related to the other warnings in it.
"Graphic Violence": This means you want to warn readers that your fic has heavy or detailed descriptions of violence in it.
"Underage": This means that you want to warn readers that your fic contains descriptions of sex that involves characters who are underage.
"Major character death": This means that you want to warn readers that a major character in your story dies.
"No archive warnings apply: This means you want to let readers know that your fic does not contain major character death, underage sex, or graphic violence.
TWO: Give your fic a summary. It doesn't have to be long, sometimes the shorter the better! If you can't think of how to summarize your fic, you can just take a excerpt from the fic itself and put it there.
THREE: Tag the characters in your fic. Some people tag every character who appears in their fic no matter how minor, but this actually makes it more difficult for people to find fic about the characters they like. It's usually better only to tag the characters who are important in your fic.
FOUR: Tag the ships in your fic. Like with character tags its best to stick to only the major pairings that you're writing about, and not to list background ships. If you want to warn for background ships, its better to do that in an author's note.
FIVE: Additional tags. You don't have to go crazy here, fewer tags is often better. You want to tag the genre of your story (is it romance? adventure? fantasy? horror?) and tag a few tropes if there are major common tropes that pop up in your fic so people can find it by looking through those tags. People often also use additional tags to say what kind of ending the fic has, and what POV the fic is written from (first person, second person, third person.)
If your fic has a main character, consider adding the additional tag (character)-centric, or POV (character) as well to help people who are interested in that character find your work!
And that's all you really need to know!
Other than that, there are no rules to writing fic, and no hidden "social norms" of AO3.
There's no algorithm to game to get better stats, so just write your fic, tag it, and post it!
Then you can share it on tumblr!
If there were more specific questions that you had, or if I missed the nuance of or misunderstood your question, please, please feel free to send me a follow up message, but I hope I could help!
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Since you're an American, what are your thoughts on the comparisons of the Duchess and the Death Watch to the election? I read one of your stories and you compare them to alt-right politics in the U.S. Thx!
Heyoooooo, thanks for the ask! I'm going to go TL;DR, so please forgive me and feel free to wish you'd never asked. :)
So, I've never been a Trump voter. Never. It's been a major point of contention with close family and friends, and in the 8 years since his first campaign, it has been eye opening watching people blatantly fall for fascism in the guise of security and strength.
And so, during the pandemic, dealing with so much misinformation and seeing so many people subject others to danger to make a point about their "freedom," when I rewatched "The Clone Wars," the Mandalore storylines hit so much harder.
A lot of times, when people are hating on the Satine character and blaming her for Mandalore's fall, what I see is a lack of acknowledgement that Death Watch was so hell-bent on getting their way that they had to stage incidents to make her look weak and unfit as a ruler. They weren't starving. They weren't exiled from their system. They got a moon. They had political representation with a governor. They had resources. But instead of using everything at their disposal to do better and to evolve as a people, they used it to stage bombings, attacks, and incidents that only hurt their own people and undermined their own system.
But what Death Watch did so well was they spun a narrative that is so false that even FANS believe it.
Like, we're supposed to see that they're domestic terrorists.
But people are out here like, "Fuck Satine, she's the worst."
Oh, okay.
As an American, I've seen two viable, suitable female candidates who have lost to Donald Trump, a piece of shit grifter, a convicted felon, an impeached dirtbag of a human being, and BOTH of these women have lost.
The bar is so high for them, and it's so low for Trump.
And I see that with Satine Kryze and Pre Vizsla.
The damning theories about Satine committing genocide on her people and white-washing them of their history and culture are assumptions made from information given to us on the show by Almec, who turns out to be as corrupt as Pre Vizsla and Tal Merrik, and inferred from the animation choices made due to budget constraints; but those things are held over Satine's head and her reputation as though they are gospel. As though she herself confirmed them.
Meanwhile, Pre Vizsla is out here running an entire terrorist group that intends to destabilize Mandalore's peaceful government just to reassert themselves as strong warriors. He has shown us who he is. He shows us every time we see him on screen after his reveal as the leader of Death Watch. He commits himself to it. He has gaggles of lackeys behind him putting him up on a pedestal, enabling him.
But Satine's always the villain, and always to blame; nevermind the fact that she has proven herself to be a resilient leader who put her people above all else, including her own desires, and she fights to keep them out of the fray between the Republic and the Separatists. More than anything else, their stability and their independence is her top priority.
And I guess, for me, I see strength in Satine's diplomacy, strength in her kindness, strength in her restraint; so when I see people who only acknowledge strength in name calling, in divisiveness, in threats of violence, like Pre Vizsla and Death Watch, I'm instantly reminded of the crowd of American politics who believe that we must bully our way around the world.
The bar for women, especially women of color, is set so high that it's unattainable; but the bar for men is so low it's in hell.
And as an American who voted for Vice President Kamala Harris, and who was genuinely thrilled to imagine a Harris/Walz administration, I've found myself annoyed by the remarks about her that I've read. The claims that she's not tough. That she couldn't hold her own with a room of world leaders. Because I don't see that. And I'm heartbroken to see that the popular vote wanted brute force and displays of bully behavior instead of a steady, calm hand to bring us together as a nation.
Worst of all, I fear the very possible outcome that, much like Mandalore, Americans are sacrificing their liberties for what they believe is security (ie. the xenophobic hate and the border talking points, lower grocery prices, etc.), but like Ben Franklin said, they'll lose both and deserve neither.
And in Mandalore's case, the people were scammed into believing that Satine failed them, when really, the attack on Sundari was an inside job - and when the flames of fear were stoked, the people turned on Satine, on peace, for the safety they believed Death Watch was going to bring them.
And then their asses got glassed by the Empire.
I look at what's going on around me, and I'm disappointed because I'm a dumb optimistic bitch who believed Americans were better than this. And there's a lot of blame to go around, but the vibe is off and things do not feel right. My gut tells me that the game was rigged - that Madam VP Harris was meant to fail from the word go, because the right aligned themselves to win at all costs, even at the costs of their own nation.
But Jyn Erso said it best: Rebellions are built on hope.
So, hopefully we don't get glassed..?
Jesus, how do I even end this post?
I'm sorry. I know you're wishing you'd never asked. <3
#asks answered#satine kryze#duchess satine#pre vizsla#death watch#mandalore#u.s. politics#sorry i'm not good at talking about this stuff#i'm still emotional#and self-medicating with left over halloween candy
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Which kid is which?
The kids are listed in order in the tags of the original post, but I'll list them here for reference! All designs by @sylviesparks !
The Doodler (Lissie Monique)
The Ditz (Clement Susie)
The Daisy (Chris Anthom)
The Delinquent (Tina Outlie)
The Do-Gooder (Tray Ficker)
The Dolly (Barbie Lettie)
#Teacher's Pet (video game)#asks#The Doodler (Lissie Monique)#The Ditz (Clement Susie)#The Daisy (Chris Anthom)#The Delinquent (Tina Outlie)#The Do-Gooder (Tray Ficker)#The Dolly (Barbie Lettie)#they all got their own things going on so please feel free to ask about them!#these kids are unfortunately going through the horrors
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THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION TELLS CHUCK TINGLE TO STAY HOME BUT WE PROVE LOVE ANYWAY
just when you buckaroos thought 2024 would be a break from book drama, here comes chuck tingle in the mix. recently i was asked to be a featured speaker at the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION annual conference. a few days ago they rescinded my invitation. here is what happened.
(EDITED TO ADD THIS LINK. if you have a hard time reading this on way of tumblr you can also read for free on chucks patreon)
i would like to start off by saying it is not my intent to start a fight, and all those reading this should know that the actions of a few misguided folks do not speak for the whole TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION. i am sure there are many involved who will be very upset to learn what others at TLA have done in their name. there are many individuals here, so please do not paint them all as villains in your mind. besides, chuck loves the dang library everyone knows that.
the point of writing this is not to vilify. i am writing this is because MOMENTS OF DARKNESS are the best places to SHINE A LIGHT AND PROVE LOVE IS REAL. this is a perfect time for learning and growing and for us talk on some very important things that queer buckaroos and neurodivergent buckaroos face every day. this is an unfortunate moment that WE can turn around and use to prove love is real.
i am also writing this to understand some of my own personal feelings on the matter. for something that seems very simple on the surface, the trot is complex, and i am still working out my emotions on the whole dang thing. i am learning in this way.
PART ONE: BAG OF LOVE
a few months ago chuck was asked to be a featured speaker at the 2024 TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION ANNUAL CONFERENCE. i have been asked to do things like the before and it is ALWAYS a fun time to meet bookseller and librarian buds. trotting around face to face and talking about my story of conquering chronic pain and overcoming my mental hurdles is VERY IMPORTANT to me. i say YES to these things whenever i can. (here i am with authors at CALIFORNIA INDEPENDENT BOOKSELLERS ALLIANCE conference. they are a WONDERFUL group and they proved love with their OWN invitation to chuck. this was such a moving event with so many amazing authors and stories. got very teared up during this photo)
ANYWAY BUCKAROOS i get the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION invite and say 'YES BUD LETS TROT'. we are then confirmed.
months pass. a few weeks ago i get a call from my manager and agent and publisher saying âthe TLA have rescinded their invitation.â
turns out some things had been going on behind the scenes
at some point the TLA asked chucks INCREDIBLE HEROIC BAD ASS PUBLISHER if chuck would be okay with not wearing the mask, to which tor/nightfire/macmillan said âwhat the heck are you talking about of course chuck is going to wear his mask. this is how chuck presents himselfâ (NOT EXACT QUOTE)
as you all know, my pink bag way is a VERY IMPORTANT SPACE. as an autistic buckaroo it is a boundary that allows me to express myself freely and relieve my chronic pain from neurotypically masking all day. i have talked about this for years, and it is why i consider my private identity a SACRED THING. it is literally a health issue.
fortunately THE PINK BAG is never really a problem when making appearances. i have spent years going on television shows, doing interviews, speaking at other conferences and conventions, hosting book events on tour, and even MEETING WITH LAWYERS in my pink face covering. it is always respected and that is very validating to my way.
when arriving anywhere i always take precautions. i always warn buckaroos ahead of time that there is a masked man coming. i always have someone go in ahead of me JUST IN CASE. again, there has never been an issue. at a big conference where i am a special guest there is ESPECIALLY not an issue because my face and bio are printed IN THE DANG PROGRAM
SOME FUN TIMES AT BIG EVENTS BELOW:
CHUCK ON TV SHOW NAME OF 'AT MIDNIGHT' BACK BEFORE I WROTE LOVE IS REAL ON MY HEAD:
well, there has never been an issue.... UNTIL NOW.
PART TWO: RESCINDED
a few days ago TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION suddenly messaged my publishers and said that chuck tingle is no longer invited. my invitation was rescinded. the reason given was that people could possibly be uncomfortable with my mask
right out of the gate i would like to say this: it is absolutely the right of the texas library association to disinvite someone from their conference. it is their event, after all, and they can ban anyone they would like, for any reason.
of course, that doesnt mean other folks HEARING THIS NEWS wont have their own opinions the TLA choices. if the TLA disinvites someone, their reasoning for doing this can be discussed and analyzed. whether or not they follow their own guidelines can be questioned, and certainly their kindness and tact can be considered
there are a few BIG POINTS to make regarding this choice from the TLA
first and foremost, i just gotta say buckaroos, it is incredibly rude to invite someone to be a guest speaker at your event, have them confirm and mark off their calendar and turn down other offers, then rescind their invitation. this is maybe the simplest of the points, but it is an important one.
second, (DEEP BREATH HERE WE GO BUCKAROOS) i personally do not think of my autism as a disability very often, but i also KNOW that despite these feelings it ABSOLUTELY IS. autism is important to be listed as a recognized disability because of the help some autistic buckaroos need regarding government programs and things like that. ALSO just because my neurodivergence has helped me in some ways (hyperfocus and a unique artistic sensibility for example). i personally need to step back and remember my battle with stress and chronic pain from having to neurotypically mask all the time. for as much as i love being autistic it has made some things very difficult.
in other words, i am perfectly capable of speaking and interacting with folks without this pink bag on my head BUT WHEN I AM IN THE CHUCK TINGLE SPACE I REQUIRE IT. i can ONLY use this space while covering my face. is not a want. it is a need. holding this boundary is more important than i can ever say. i will not, and can not, let these spaces cross.
TLA not letting an autistic author wear the face cover theyve set up to express their neurodivergence in a safe, healthy way is--for lack of a better term--NOT A GOOD LOOK.
i cannot fathom them disinviting another author for using a disability aid. i cannot fathom them saying that a buckaroo who hears better with a hearing device cannot use it during their panel because it would make others 'uncomfortable'.
but here we are.
PART THREE: WHAT DOES A BUCKAROO GOTTA DO TO GET BANNED AROUND HERE?
this is the TLAs official stance on disability issues according to their website:
when poking around on the TLA website i noticed a few other things. i noticed a previous guest speaker wearing a niqab, and i was left wondering if the religious significance is what make that okay but chuck tingle banned. that made sense until i looked deeper and saw mascot buckaroos dressed up on the exhibition floor, and saw some kind of spiderbud in a costume contest. nobody around them seemed to be all that scared. their invitations REMAINED INTACT.
it should be mentioned here that AT ONE POINT during the discussions an email was sent from TLA saying chuck is allowed to come and wear his mask in the exhibition halls and smaller panels, just not at any of the big PAID PANELS i was once supposed to participate on. this was a confusing offer, but their explanation was that people who paid for something should have the option to not see chucks 'scary neurodivergence aid'. i tried to wrap my head around WHY they would make a distinction. maybe the exchange of money (rather than time) causes some kind of philosophical adjustment that i just cant grasp?
i wonder, would the author who wears a niqab ALSO be banned from the paid panels? i hope not
my answers trotted up short until i investigated deeper and found this quick moment from one of the TLA help videos. while some events DO require additional buckaroo cash, it actually appears that THE ENTIRE CONFERENCE IS TICKETED AND COSTS MONEY.
at this point i realized there is clearly no actual official policy about not covering your face (other than one from a few years ago saying that you HAVE to cover your face), and the addition of 'money' is a red herring. these excuses make no sense
PART FOUR: CLOSE THOSE GATES
it appears that my neurodivergence is 'scary' enough to get me uninvited, REGARDLESS what their disability and mask policies may say
BUT WHY? why is chucks preferred physical presentation valued SO little by the TLA that a THEORETICAL complaint is worth more? is my neurodivergent expression so awful? is my own safety as a queer activist such an afterthought?
is a pink bag with the words 'love is real' scrawled across the front REALLY going to frighten someone when the posters and pamphlets on the way into in panel would have a photo of my masked face saying THIS IS LITERALLY WHO IS ABOUT TO APPEAR BEFORE YOU.
if THAT accommodation is too much, would it really be so difficult to have someone trot out beforehand and make an announcement? to say 'there is someone on this upcoming panel who needs a mask to express this part of himself, if this makes you uncomfortable then this panel might not be for you'.
and really, i have to heckin ask, is this physical expression of my raw inner truth really so hideous and frightening that fear of making someone uncomfortable is a REAL problem?
(a terrifying display of autism. apparently)
i cannot imagine what kind of precautions they need to take before a stage play featuring costumes and masks.
you MIGHT think chucks queerness and left leaning politics could be the issue with this organization, but they have had drag queens as past speakers (also featuring some GLORIOUS makeup and hair that covers almost all of their faces. VERY CURIOUS). regardless, the TLA do not seem like a conservative bunch.
if you are bisexual or an autistic person who is good at 'passing' you probably already know where this is headed, your dang spiderbuckaroo senses are tingling at FULL ALERT. i will say i do not KNOW the real reason why i was uninvited, and i do not have enough information to make any concrete statement of the real answer. there is only evidence that masks have been fine at TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION events in the past, but not much else to go on.
so the FACTS part of our discussion ends there, but i think it opens us up to talk about some very important feelings that bisexual and autistic buckaroos know well.
THIS is where we take a unfortunate, hurtful moment and turn it into a discussion. this is where we prove love is real.
as someone who is constantly doubted and put through purity tests because of my unique way, we are pushing up against a subject i know well. thats right buckaroos: we are talking GATEKEEPING
AGAIN, i do not know if this is the answer, but someone in my position might be VERY STRONGLY INCLINED TO THINK that a few well-meaning left leaning buckaroos think i am a joke and that this is a character, and that there is something problematic about my work because i am not really a real person.
any upstanding left leaning organization would OF COURSE allow a mask for a neurodivergent buckaroo with an unusual visual presentation, an autistic buckaroo who conquered his chronic pain ONLY by creating this important space... but what about a FAKE autistic buckaroo?
any upstanding left leaning organization would OF COURSE allow a mask for a queer LGBTQ activist standing up for gay and trans rights against a torrent of scoundrels hunting for his legal identity. its a matter of safety... but what about a FAKE queer activist?
let me be very clear for the 100th time: i am a real person. this is not a joke. i am not playing a character. i am really autistic and bisexual. tinglers are sincere and they are not âso bad theyre goodâ. they are just good. camp damascus is not âmy first serious bookâ because my queer erotica is serious. my art is important and real.
when people tell me to unmask they often do not know WHY they want it, and of course one very good reason is innocent curiosity. but there are SOME cases where i start to get THAT feeling--that tingle all of us âpassingâ buckaroos get when we can sense the real intent behind the poking and prodding. that is the feeling of stumbling into a gatekeepers crosshairs.
if i was to take off my pink bag, what about my face would you analyze to tell if i was REALLY queer. my eye color? my ear shape? if you learned my legal name, would you see if it sounded autistic? is my voice neurodivergent enough?
or is all of that utterly absurd? i am curious what the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION thinks.
PART FIVE: GENDERED
this will be the shortest of parts, but it has to be said. i have a very complex relationship with gender, as written about at length here and here. i understand these things can be difficult to parse for some, but i ask that you trust me when i say that the ONLY reason i have been able to talk about my gender and sexuality and learn these things about myself is because of this pink bag. this outward appearance is a direct expression and reflection of my gender journey.
if the texas library association does not care about my appearance as an expression of my autism, then i cant imagine them giving a dang about it as an expression of my gender and queerness. that being said, it is personally very important to me and i think it should be mentioned
PART SIX: SO YOU WANT TO REMOVE AN AUTISTIC QUEER AUTHOR FROM YOUR EVENT BECAUSE PEOPLE MIGHT FIND THEIR DIFFERENCES SCARY
there is a question to be asked here: how could the TLA have done this correctly?
i have one very big piece of advice i would like to shout from the rooftops. please, for the love of sweet barbara, DO ENOUGH RESEARCH to know if this appearance will be a problem and, IF SO, dont extend an invitation in the first place. unique buckaroos with different presentations are constantly left in this place of limbo because we are bombarded with careless actions like those of the TLA. before you consider extending a branch to an artist who might need more accommodations than usual, think to yourself 'CAN WE MAKE THESE ACCOMMODATIONS?'
putting all of this on the shoulders of a single 'buckaroo with a difference' is exhausting. as the TLA has shown, we currently live on a timeline where a buckaroo like myself never really knows if an invite is SOLID without doing a deep dive history lesson on how often a group discriminates and against who.
i did not want to spend my whole family holiday worrying whether or not i should say something publicly or just lie down and shut my dang mouth. i had to consider HOW i should say it. i had to worry whether or not its worth standing up for myself in the face of the largest state library association in the country. i think buckaroos with differences are with me when i say: WE ARE SICK OF HAVING TO DO THIS WORK TO COVER FOR THE POOR BEHAVIOR OF LARGE ORGANIZATIONS WHO TREAT US BADLY
another option would just be to use kindness and common sense and happily accommodate artists with unique presentations to your conventions
PART SEVEN: LOVE IS STILL REAL
i would like to close by saying THANK YOU to my publisher nightfire and editor kelly for standing up for me. they immediately stood firm and had my back. they are the real dang deal. THANK YOU to my management and agent buds dongwon and gino for trotting along beside me. THANK YOU to the folks at the texas library association who initially invited chuck with goodness in their heart and then likely got bowled over by someone else, and maybe even got knocked to the side by a big closing gate.
i hope there are librarians in texas who are still interested in carrying BURY YOUR GAYS when it comes out (which is ironically about someone who creates a space through art to express their queerness where they cant otherwise). libraries prove love is real and what they do IS SO IMPORTANT. it was SO IMPORTANT TO ME as a young buckaroo and i cannot thank you enough. i am not sure if me writing all of this will hurt my sales in some way, but this opportunity to speak about the reality of disability awareness and queer gatekeeping is too important to stay silent. (if you have not already preordered BURY YOUR GAYS then give it a preorder to make up for some texas library losses i guess.)
which leads me to my final thank you. THANK YOU to the buckaroos reading this. yes YOU. i am in the position to stand up and speak my mind against scoundrel forces ONLY because i have the might of you buckaroos by my side. the buckaroo trot is ALL OF OUR TROT and we are ALL HERE TO PROVE LOVE. i cannot tell you how much i appreciate the way you have created a space for me to express these important parts of myself. you have seen this pink mask over my face and saying YES, I ACCEPT YOU, you have literally saved my life. for that i am so thankful.
if you are UPSET by what youve read here, then turn it into something positive. you can support autistic creators, or make a donation to the AUTISTIC SELF ADVOCACY NETWORK
and besides WHO IS REALLY MISSING OUT? this is what it looks like when you invite the worlds greatest author chuck tingle to your event and treat their identity as valid. WE HAVE A DANG GOOD TIME
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KEEP TROTTING INTO THE FUTURE. KEEP KICKING DOWN GATES WHEREVER THEY MAY BE. KEEP PROVING LOVE IS REAL AND PROVING IT TOGETHER. lets go buckaroos - chuck
UPDATE AN HOUR AFTER POSTING:
true buckaroo TJ KLUNE was set to be another author on panel chuck was removed from and has informed me he has now chosen to decline his invitation in support and solidarity with chuck. i am so deeply moved by this. thank you from bottom of heart buckaroo
to be very clear TJ has a huge platform and DOES NOT NEED TO DO THIS. these conferences are great for book sales and he is taking a hit out of pure solidarity. this is queer buckaroos standing up for eachother. i am floored by this kindness and love
please consider checking out his books if they are not already covering your dang bookshelf. chuck blurbed IN THE LIVES OF PUPPETS and i was blown away i heckin loved it
MOST RECENT UPDATE:
here is more
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Fake HC 10 dashboard mayhaps??
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âď¸ pearlescent-post Follow
Reminder to love yourself! Smell the trees! Everything will be okay in the end đ âď¸
âď¸ pearlescent-post Follow
nvm gem ran out of pickles im depressed again
đ gemstone Follow
I RESTOCKED THIS MORNING HOW HAVE YOU ALREADY SOLD ME OUT
âď¸ pearlescent-post Follow
1,930 notes
đŁ mending-book-fanatic Follow
day 126 without a mending book
27 notes
đ scars-axasqottles Follow
uM hey @.hpo-official could i ask why you havent' received my messages?/? Every calsl Ive made just puts me on holdd
âŹď¸ hpo-official-948204deactivated
Sorry about that, sir. Admin error. I'll speak to my manager.
đ scars-axasqottles Follow
...hELLO?
đ¸ joel-beans Follow
lmao they deactivated what a loser
đŁ mending-book-fanatic Follow
Remember there's a person behind every poor worker! I see you bullies in the notes
đ gemstone Follow
@/mending-book-fanatic is a hermit permit office spy confirmed??
2,441 notes
đ¸ joel-beans Follow
Guys everyone agrees that purpur is cheap and beautiful and godlike and everyone should go buy it right now this second *sweats*
đ˛ supreme-judge-bd Follow
I feel like I'm missing something...
đ¸ joel-beans Follow
SHE HAS EYES EVERYWHERE BDUBS
âď¸ pearlescent-post Follow
Joel!
đ¸ joel-beans Follow
If I donât respond within the hour assume she got me
133 notes
đŠ symmetrical-minister Follow
anyone know a good shop for ethically-sourced wood?? i normally shop at big wood but ive heard things about a mafia :/
đŞ big-salmon Follow
That is absolutely NOT true!! If anything you should be targeting the crypto scheme at Big Wood,,
âď¸ d0ctorm77 Follow
aaaand this is why you should never trust businessmen in red suits
đŞ big-salmon Follow
says the one compensating with a massive HOURGLASS of all things
��� puppet-master Follow
Actually @.big-salmon Xisuma_voyd made a really well-explained video here going into detail about all of the shady elements of Big Wood, it's worth a watch.
đ gemstone Follow
To answer the original question OP here are some safer (privately owned!) shops :)
Gem's Moss Shop (azaleas for sale which can be bonemealed)
Bdub's Bamboo Shop (bamboo wood is a good eco-friendly alternative to your typical spruce or oak)
The Purr-purr bus (if you're okay with having slightly more exotic trees, from the End)
Hope this helped! <3
âď¸ d0ctorm77 Follow
Why would you pay diamonds for less when you could just pay a few grains of sand for the best quality wood in the shopping district? You people confuse me
đ˛ supreme-judge-bd Follow
actually the Purr-purr bus isn't ethical at all!! ive heard they blackmail people into giving them sails!!!
đ gemstone Follow
*sales
đ˛ supreme-judge-bd Follow
SHUDDUP
âď¸ pearlescent-post Follow
:(
2,750 notes
đŁ mending-book-fanatic Follow
day 131 without a mending book
34 notes
đŁ mending-book-fanatic Follow
day 164 without a mending book
đ puppet-master Follow
Grian you know you can get free mending books at the cat cafe right
đŁ mending-book-fanatic Follow
it's not the same
đŁ mending-book-fanatic Follow
I need to be able to smell the breath of the sea between its sodden pages
đŁ mending-book-fanatic Follow
continue along the same path and you'll soon be facing villager unions
2,316 notes
đĽ tongo-tak Follow
Friendly reminder that not everyone wakes up at 2am, so please tag your Pearldle spoilers for at least a few hours!!
âď¸ pearlescent-post Follow
skill issue tbh
1,102 notes
đ¸đŞ death2diorite85 Follow
hallo how flirt with pretty girl time sensitive question
đş git-gorgeous Follow
sell them something
đĽ tongo-tak Follow
bribe diamonds
đ puppet-master Follow
kill them
đ¸đŞ death2diorite85 Follow
okay will do!!!!
đ¸đŞ death2diorite85 Follow
wait
2,989 notes
đ puppet-master Follow
Happy pride month to lgbtqia+ people of all ages, genders and sexualities, you're all so valid and so loved <3 đłď¸âđđłď¸ââ§ď¸ â¤đ§Ąđđđđ
đ gemstone Follow
<3
âď¸ d0ctorm77 Follow
I'm making a rainbow beacon for pride, come look for it! i'll be with it by my husband @ renthedog's hole all week
âď¸ d0ctorm77 Follow
*HOLE
âď¸ d0ctorm77 Follow
*HOME
âď¸ d0ctorm77 Follow
WAIT I ACCIDENTALLY TAGGED IT
đž renthedog Follow
um.
2,655 notes
đ¸ joel-beans Follow
etho is just kakashi on maple syrup send post
đ¸ joel-beans Follow
almost forgot to add important additional difference! etho is also obsessed with me
1,113 notes
#ravenrambles#hermitcraft#hermitblr#fake dashboard#tw unreality#unreality#dashboard simulator#fake posts
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becoming a better student âËâšâĄ
Prepare for your classes Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Wake up on time. We don't want to be stressed first thing in the morning, right?
Eat breakfast. So you will be able to better focus in class.
Assigned reading and homework. Make sure you are prepared for your classes!! :)
Review your notes. Going through some of your flashcards before class is really helpful.
Check your bag and charge your devices. Ensure you have everything you need: Books, homework, chargers, pens, water...
In Class Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Listen and pay attention. You can save yourself a lot of trouble by simply paying attention, trust me.
Take notes. My favourite note-taking method is the Cornell method; I can make a separate post on that!! <3
"Quick notes." If you struggle with note-taking, try taking quick and messy notes. You can clean them up once you get home!!
Engage. If you have any questions or don't understand something, make sure to ask!! Most teachers really appreciate students who speak up. :)
No distractions. Turn off your phone, no chatting, you'll be glad...
After class Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Finish your assignments as soon as you can. Go home, put on a cosy outfit, have a snack, and get working!! <3
Prepare flash cards. A great way of reviewing your notes, too... :)
Update your Study schedule. Write down any assignment and due dates, reading you must do, upcoming tests, etc...
Clean up your notes. Review them, highlight the important parts, and maybe even make them look cute!! :)
Don't avoid topics/Subjects you dislike. I know it is tempting, but you can't avoid them forever, so you might as well get them done
Structure and routine Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Goals and Priorities. Keep them realistic and manageable.
Time management. Having a set schedule makes studying less overwhelming; it takes some discipline but is so worth it!! <3
Develop a routine. Figure out what works best for you; I prefer studying in the morning or at night.
No "zero days". Even if you can only do a bit, do it!! NO. ZERO. DAYS.
Remember your goals. Dreams will keep you motivated; remind yourself of what you're working for!! <3
Self-care and balance Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Don't forget about your hobbies. You need to do things that make you happy, so make time for those things!!
Maintain a balanced diet. I know chocolates and junk are tempting, especially when you are busy studying all day, but you're not doing yourself any favours.
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. 8 Hours. Non-negotiable.
Exercise regularly. Even if it's just a walk, put on some headphones, listen to music, and give yourself a break. <3
Care for your social life. Reach out to your friends, make plans, and keep in touch; a good work-life balance is critical!!
Romanticising Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Study dates. Meet up with your friends at a cosy cafe, discuss your work, and have some fun!! Studying doesn't have to be all serious all the time ;)
Silly Pinterest boards. Visualising your goals will help you find motivation!!
Music to set the mood. I have a bunch of playlists on my Spotify that might help!! <3
Cosy sweater and candles. The cosy Rory Gilmore vibes haha...
Getting a coffee before class. A little treat before things get serious... Simple pleasures, you know? :)
Babes, The hiatus is OVER, and I'm finally back!! I got a lot of asks on studying, burnout, and school in general, so I thought, why not start off with a little student guide?? I Hope October has been kind to you, and school hasn't been too overwhelming (though I know it, unfortunately, has been for many of you), and I'm glad to finally be back!! <33
As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!!
âŠâ§â*:ăťlove ya シ:*ââ§âŠ
#malusokay#girl blogger#it girl#pink blog#dream girl#that girl#coquette#aesthetic#pink pilates princess#pinterest#just girly things#girlblogging#study blog#studyblr#study aesthetic#studyspo#rory gilmore#elle woods#study motivation#student life#study notes#aesthetic notes#light academia#soft academia#coquettecore#manifestation#loa blog#self improvement#spotify#dark academia
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HE DOESNâT WANT ME WHEN HEâS SOBER.
lando ending | logan ending
summary: landoâs your best friend but seems to like you when heâs drunk. but then again, he seems to like everyone when heâs drunk.
pairing: lando norris x gn!reader
wc: 1.5k
The music was too loud but Lando was so close that he didnât need to alter his volume - he was talking at the perfect volume that only you could hear him. Each sentence was getting lower, deeper and quieter, but your own mind made him louder, filling up every space in it with replays of him. He was engrossing. He was all you could think about.
He almost dropped the cup in his hand as he took the final step closer, not that the cup would've mattered to him, his only concern wouldâve been making sure you stay dry. Still, your throat turned dry at the little distance between you both; at the prospect of what was surely about to happen.
His free hand drifted to your jaw, holding it so delicately and manoeuvring your face gently to face up at him at the perfect angle for him to kiss you. When it was just right, and he could no longer remove his eyes from your lips, not even for a second, his hand moved to the back of your head, holding you in place.
He leaned down, oozing out confidence despite the absolute fear inside of him, and rested his forehead against yours. You had closed your eyes, expecting him to kiss you, but you opened them again when you realised he wasnât, pulling away only slightly due to the hand on your head preventing it further.
âLan,â you breathed, your tone showing everything that you werenât saying, âWhat are you waiting for?â
His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily like resisting kissing you was the hardest thing that heâd ever done in his life. âIâm just making sure you want this,â he paused, opening his eyes and flicking them between your eyes and your lips, âDo you want this?â
âYes,â you responded instantly, your desperation being evident from miles away. He held back a chuckle and instead revelled in the fact that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you. âPlease, Lan.â
âSo polite,â he whispered, his voice low and hoarse. He titled your head again, bringing you impossibly closer. You could feel his shirt against your chest and his breathing on your face - there was no going back and you both knew it.
He was going to kiss you, he was leaning down, too slowly for your liking but it was happening and so you werenât complaining. You felt a ghost touch against your lips - the slightest feeling - but it was there before being harshly ripped away in an instant.
âMate! Iâm going now, congrats on the podium,â Carlos said after walking up to Lando from behind, a hand on his back, the other one shaking his hand.
âCongrats on your win, more like it,â Lando replied, a half smile on his face, trying to be as genuine as possible and not show his annoyance that his moment was ruined.
Carlos looked towards you, about to share a goodbye with you, before noticing your dazed look and shifting between you and Lando as he noticed what was happening. âShit- sorry, man- carry on, Iâll see you later, yeah?â he said, not letting either of you reply before wandering off, towards the door.
You both stood there frozen for a while, not speaking or moving, just staring into each other's eyes, begging the other for an answer.
Quickly, Lando had given up and stood up straight, looking into his cup and swirling what was left around. âIâm getting another drink, do you want anything?â
âNo,â you said, barely audible and no longer looking at him or in his general direction. If you hadnât shook your head as you spoke, he wouldnât have known what you said and he really didnât want to get into an awkward cycle of asking you to repeat yourself a few times before he finally heard you.
âIâll find you,â was all he said as he left. You watched him as he cut through the crowds to the bar and ordered a drink and a shot, downing the shot the second that he got it.
He turned around and scanned the room, briefly meeting your eyes. You could tell he was debating whether to come back or not but you didnât know what he decided as he began to stand up, so you made the decision for him and walked away to the side of the club, hopefully weaving through the tides of people enough that it would take a while for him to find you.
You ended up in one of the back corners of the club, pushing yourself into the wall so that people could squeeze past you and so you could people watch better. You were busying yourself giving strangers names and storylines, trying to distract yourself from whatever just happened, or couldâve happened, when you almost threw yourself to the floor in shock from a sudden hand waving in front of your face.
âDonât jump - I was just trying to get your attention. I called your name a few times,â Alex said. You turned to look at him, slouching right next to you against the wall.
âSorry, loud music,â you replied. It wasnât a lie, the music was loud, but you could barely hear it over your thoughts whirring anyway. You watched Alex grimace and shake his head, somehow knowing it wasnât the music distracting you.
âI saw,â he hummed as you took in a sharp intake of breath.
âI donât-â
âYou kissed him, finally, then what happened? Why are you all alone?â he questioned, his eyes scanning the place for Lando, knowing heâs not usually the type to leave you alone in places like this. He could tell you were upset and confused, and he needed to get to the bottom of it in order to work out whether heâd need to drive his car into Landoâs during the next race or not.
âNo- he almost kissed me. Again. Carlos interrupted and he left. He left, Alex. Asked if I wanted a drink and left,â you spat, a mixture of uncertainty and anger clouding your voice. Why did he leave? He started it and left knowing exactly what was happening whilst leaving you with nothing - it was unfair.
Alex sighed. He wasnât happy with Lando but knew what he felt for you and ultimately wanted to give him the chance to tell you without any mistakes.
âMaybe talk to him about it. He might just be unsure of where youâd like it to go-â
âHe called the shots, Alex, he does it whenever heâs drunk, I donât think he gets to be the confused one,â you sighed, looking at your feet. Alex paused and tried to think of another way to give Lando another chance to tell you how he feels without ruining it.
âMaybe talk to him when heâs sober. Heâll-â
âHe doesnât want me when heâs sober,â you whispered but wanted to scream. It hurt you to say it but you felt like it was true. Alex felt his breath hitch and his heart ache to scream at you that Lando does want you.
âThatâs not right. Who wouldnât want you?â he could see how it was affecting you and wanted nothing more than to make you feel better, but his train of thought was abandoned when he saw your body recoil into the wall in disgust.
He followed your eyeline to find Lando towards the middle of the room, kissing some girl that you had never seen before. He was leaning into her as if heâd die if he let go, and his hand was on the same place on the back of her head as it was on yours.
âOh,â Alex said, not really knowing what else he could do. He was furious and wanted to mortify Lando in front of everyone in the room.
âYeah, oh,â you repeated sarcastically. Your knees felt weak and your eyes were on the brink of bursting - it was impossible to hide if you tried. âIâm going to go home,â was all you could get out, your voice choking on every word.
You tried to convince yourself that you werenât upset and rather you were disgusted but you couldnât after the image of Lando sucking some other girl's face was plastered in your mind and you shed tears the whole way home. Lando didnât know - in your mind he didnât even care but as you were crying to Alex and Lily in an uber, he was looking for you everywhere. But as it hit him, the guilt and weight of what heâd done, and the realisation that you mustâve seen, he prayed that youâd let him explain, like he did every time this happened, whilst you would tell yourself, again, that you meant it this time; that he was too late.
lando ending | logan ending
#lando norris x reader#lando norris fluff#lando norris smut#lando norris angst#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris x y/n#lando norris blurb#lando norris f1#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando x reader#lando imagine#f1 fluff#f1 smut#formula one#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#charles leclerc x reader#max verstappen x reader#oscar piastri x reader#carlos sainz x reader#f1 fic#f1 angst#f1 fanfic#forumla one#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#lando norris x gender neutral!reader
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shower talk.
deadpool (wade wilson) x f!reader
wc: 750 (drabble)
tags! established relationship, sexual & murder references (duh)
notes! wade brainrot is so bad idk, logan fic coming soon pls forgive me
wade often barges into the bathroom while youâre in the shower just to sit on the toilet seat and rant about the mission he just went on, or even to ask what takeout you want for dinner. couldnât it wait until you had clothes on? sure, but he wants to talk to you now.
unexpectedly, you decide to take a page out of his playbook.
youâve just walked in the door after your 9-5, throwing your keys and bag haphazardly across the room in frustration. you spy the familiar rumpled up red and black suit on the floor, wade was home. you had complained last week about deadpool tracking blood into the apartment after his âwork.â it seemed your boyfriend had listened and obliged. if it werenât for your bad day, the image of him cupping his crotch as he scrambled naked into the bathroom wouldâve made you smile.
you hear the water still running, but you finally understand how wade feels, this canât wait. you open the bathroom door and throw the toilet lid down, unsure if wade even heard you enter over the sound of his own voice belting hall and oatesâ greatest hits.
you sit down and let out an overdramatic sigh. your boyfriendâs voice quiets down halfway through âout of touchâ
âhoney bear? youâre home! these stab wounds will heal in about two minutes then you can join me. i know how you feel about seeing intestines, and i donât want to make you gagâŚwell scratch that i do sometimesââ
âi fucking hate men.â
you hear the sound of the shower curtain opening slightly, and wadeâs head peaks out, looking at you with wide eyes, âwoah language, babydoll! you know degradation turns me on.â his head tilts to the side, noticing the distress written on your face âbut i have a feeling this isnât about meâŚâ
you spare him a narrowed glance, then watch as his head disappears. the curtain closes and you hear the water hit skin again as he resumes his shower. heâs giving you time to speak. remarkable.
âyou remember that guy i told you about? the one that gave me major creep vibes? and was just an all around dick?â
you get a hum in response, and you canât see it, but you know wade is physically biting his tongue so he doesnât say anything. itâs endearing in a way.
you rub your face with your hands, the memory of what youâre about to say lights the fire of anger again, âwell. guess who got that promotion i was being eyed for? iâll give you a hint, itâs not someone with a vagina! and on top of that, i saw him try to look under my skirt as i was leaving! that fuck.â
you almost regretted telling him that last part, knowing where this was going. but your mind was clouded by frustration, and the water was already turned off. the rings screech against the metal shower rod as wade throws the curtain open, reaching over your head for a towel. âokay sweet thing. where does this cock suck and fuck live?â
your eyes catch a glimpse of red turning pink as it swirled into the tub drain. you shake your head, suddenly realizing the severity of what your mercenary boyfriend was implying. âno no babe please itâs not that serious! and you just got home. not to mention if people found out, youâd get in so much trouble all because of something silly that happened to me andââ
a long finger is placed over your lips. youâre eye level with wadeâs v line, partially covered by the towel now wrapped around his waist. you trail your eyes upward, locking them with the one who interrupted your rambling.
âshhh. nonsense kitten. now. youâre going to tell me this guyâs address, and iâm going to go out forâŚâ wade uses his free arm to look at a make believe watch, âhmm, about an hour. while iâm gone, youâre going to change out of this sexy pantsuit. then have a glass of wine, and touch yourself while you think of me fondly. iâll grab dinner on the way home. yes?â
when you nod with wide eyes in agreement, he removes his finger, bending down to meet your face, âatta girl.â he praises as his lips graze your own, kiss light as a feather. he clears his throat then, patting your cheek a few times as he stands up to walk out of the bathroom. whistling as if murder was all in a dayâs work (you suppose for him it is)
you sit there stunned, wondering if you just got your coworker murderedâŚ.and why you were so turned on.
#deadpool x you#marvel#marvel fic#deadpool and wolverine#marvel x reader#x reader#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson#deadpool fic#deadpool#wade wilson x you#deadpool smut#mcu x reader#mcu#mcu x you#deadpool x reader#deadpool fanfiction
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A New Place | part two
Azriel x Archeron!Reader
Summary: Months after a horrible birthday, youâre happy with new friends, but soon youâll find out that you have to face your family once again.
Word count: 1.9k
Warnings: Angst, Fluff
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Itâs been three months and they havenât come to see you. Not a single one of them. So either they donât care and havenât looked for you, or they just canât find you. However, thatâs a stupid thought because they could send Azriel, he is the spymaster after all.
You have to keep telling yourself you donât care because it's easier that way. Thinking about it for too long would cause you to spiral. One that youâre not sure you could get out of.
On the bright side of all of this, youâve made friends with your coworkers, and know a few regulars by name.
Benny has been the most helpful through it all. Was there even when you were being stubborn and trying to pull away completely. Trying to isolate yourself so nothing and no one can hurt you again.
The first week after you had moved into the apartment above the barâwhich isnât nearly as bad as it soundsâshe taught you how to pour drinks, what bottle is what on the shelf, how to clean glasses efficiently, but best of all, how to deal with all kinds of fae who decide to wander in. The worst of which were creepy males who couldnât take no for an answer.
Benny kept your mind busy, doing anything and everything she could, giving you advice despite not asking for it. One of the most freeing feelings was no guilt when you went shopping for the first time since being on your own, now you donât feel like you owe anyone when you spend a single dollar.
Your coworkers were the next best thing for getting your mind away from your family. Odessaâthe black-haired femaleâis probably your favourite person other than Benny. She looked quite intimidating at first but once you got to know her she was a sweetheartâkind and funny. Quick to make you feel at home. She is also a busybody, not that you complain.
Speaking of Odessa, sheâs standing in front of you, her hip leaning on the edge of the bar, animatedly moving her hands as she ranted about her latest experience with âirritating malesâ as she so kindly put it.
âGods, then he tried to buy me a drink even though I told him I wasnât interested again.â Exasperated, she finishes her story with a scoff and an eye-roll. You purse your lips and lift your guilty gaze to meet hers, the female tilts her head at your expression, and her mouth drops open, âWere you not listening to me?â she exclaims.
You place the glass that you were drying down on the bar top. A heavy breath leaving you and an apologetic look on your face, âI was Dessa, I promise. I just got in my head.â Mumbling the last part. A playful glare graces her features, and then a smile tugs at the corner of her lips, âYou're lucky youâre good at your job. Otherwise, I wouldnât be so nice.â A snort escapes you at that.
Just as you were about to retort, a hand harshly claps your shoulder, âShe is good at her job, but she wonât be if she keeps getting distracted by you. Now go on.â The deep voice shoos her away. Frowning in return, she grabs a tray of drinks and stalks off with a crude gesture thrown over her shoulder at him.
You turn to see scruffy brown hair and tanned skinâDominic. who is the biggest and most intimidating male youâve ever seen, also an older male, with faint lines on his scowling face. He still won't tell you how old he is. You'd have to guess he's older than the males in the inner circle.
He raises his eyebrows at you. Flushing slightly upon realising that he must have asked you a question, while you were lost in thought. Again.
A sharp exhale passes through his lips, waving a hand in exasperation, âCan you please go check on the boys in the back? They're taking far too long to just bring out a couple of crates of booze.â With a curt nod, you turn and head into the kitchen.
Scanning the room, you find the two males you were sent to find. Oberon and Tarian, chatting away while seated in the corner. You arch a brow at the sight, arms crossing over your chest. The huff you let out pulls their attention to you, a friendly smile from Tarian and a feline smirk from Oberon sent your way.
âDominic wants to know whatâs taking you so long to get the new crates of liquor.â Grimaces shift their expressions. They share a look before turning back to you. Oberon's cropped blonde hair falls across his forehead at the movement, blue eyes meeting your own. Lips pulled into his previous smirk. âWasn't Adem supposed to help?â
An incredulous look twists your features. âJust do it.â You grumble before turning to leave. ây/n.â Tarianâs raspy voice grabs your attention. Pale skin glimmering in the soft lights, âCover for us?â mousy-coloured curls bouncing slightly with a tilt of his head. Grey eyes glittered with mischief.
You scoff before you exit the kitchen. âNo. I got in trouble last time.â snickers are heard from behind you at that, though you do hear bottles clink together, indicating they had finally decided to do their job.
Blue hair flashes across your vision, Benny stepping into your path. âBreak time.â voice with a singsong tone. Just as you're about to argue that you had your last one not too long ago, she cuts in. âYour last break was about five hours ago.â her arms folded over her chest.
Eyes widening before giving her a small defeated nod, you follow her to the bar's entrance, passing Adem on the way. The red-haired male gives you a smile, which you return as you pass through the door.
â
The inner circle has been miserable, sulking over every word you had yelled at them. Truly realising their own mistakes soon after the door had slammed closed behind them. Not going to look for you, with the excuse of wanting to give you space. Three months of space isnât enough it seems.
Azriel immediately sent a few shadows after you to make sure youâd be okay. Well as okay as one could be after a horrific birthday. Those same shadows hadnât left your side since. You havenât noticed them yet, but it was only a matter of time before you did. Swirling dark tendrils arenât exactly the most discrete thing when one is walking in broad daylight.
He had felt horrible that he hadnât said anything when you looked at him that night. He just couldnât bring himself to say that he was the only one who didnât forget your day. Or the fact he had gotten you a present and hadnât given it to you. The day after you left, he had given the present to Benny to give to you, which she did, but fulfilled his wish to not say it was from him. Already Feeling bad enough for not giving you it himself.
Walking down the cobbled streets of Valaris was something he and his brothers had done for years, though since Rhys had been crowned high lord, it was rare for them to get that time. The three of them looking for a place to maybe have lunch, or just sit and have a nice chat. Any excuse to spend just a couple more hours together. Their mates had sent them off so they could have a âgirlsâ dayâ at home, which is most likely a cover to plan how to make it up to you.
A pointy elbow jabs Azriel in the ribs, pulling him out of his thoughts with a pained grunt. Glaring up at his brother, Cassian only replies with a snort. âWhat was that for?â Azriel grits out, hand rubbing his side.
âYouâre brooding. No brooding on boysâ day.â At his words, a chuckle escapes from Rhysand whoâs on Cassianâs otherside.
âI am not brooding.â Azriel grumbles. âFine then, moping.â Cassianâs words have that same teasing tone as when theyâre sparring, trying to rile him up as much as possible
Opening his mouth to growl out a retort, shining blue hair flashes from across the street at a Cafe, catching Cassâ attention. âBenny!â His booming voice yells towards her.
Head snapping in the direction that her name came from. a beaming smile stretching across her features seeing the three boys.
Before Rhys or Az can pull him back, Cassians already bounding over to her, pulling her into a hug before she could take a seat at her table. A laugh bubbles from her chest, hugging him back.
Joining them, Rhys grins at her, And Azriel gives her a nod of acknowledgement. âLong time no see. Howâve you boys been?â her smile still clear in her voice.
âWeâve been great, how about you? Are you having a late lunch all by yourself?â Rhysandâs voice has his usual charming lilt to it.
âIâve been good too. Not alone, my friend is in the bathroom.â Azrielâs attention is pulled towards the bathroom door as if he could tell who her friend was from where he is standing. âHaven't seen you all in nearly a century. Busy with mates now I assume.â more a question than a statement.
âYup,â Cassian enthusiastically pops the âpâ âyou need to meet them, youâll love them.â A loud, over exaggerated gasp gets pulled from him. âWe should all go to your bar for dinner and drinks.â Beaming, likes itâs his best idea heâs ever had.
Bennyâs own smile grows in response. âI'd love that. Iâll even reserve your old favourite table. Though I might have to pull two together considering how much your familyâs grown.
a bark of excited laughter is pulled from Cassian. Rhys pulls him away before he can distract her from her lunch any more than he already has. âSounds like a plan. Letâs leave you to it, and weâll see you in a couple days?â
âIâll save a couple tables for you.â She embraces each of them, before pulling away and waving them off, to finally sit down.
They depart with smiles and waves, then head off to find a place for them to have their lunch. Azriel canât help but look over his shoulder hoping to catch a glimpse of who sheâs with. Before they round a corner and are out of sight, he sees exactly who it is. You.
â
You exit the toilet and make your way over to the table Benny had chosen outside. The food and coffee you had picked now waiting for you.
As you pull your chair out, she turns her gaze back to you, a grin gracing her cerulean features. Deciding to ignore the mischievous undertones of that look, you pick up the pastry sitting in front of you and take a bite.
âWe're going to be busy in a couple of days. A couple tables have been booked.â She speaks as if itâs an afterthought.
Your brows pull together at her words. âSince when did we reserve tables?â you inquire, never having heard that was a possibility for the bar. âWe don't. Theyâre just special guests.â her voice light as she picks up her coffee, signalling that she wonât be answering any more questions.
Glancing in the direction that held her attention previously, you find nothing. whoever it was mustâve been important for Benny to change her usual routine with the bar. choosing not to dwell on it for too long, you turn back to the female in front of you, to enjoy your lunch.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
a/n: There might be some spelling mistakes. Iâm sorry for taking so long to post this, and i know this isnât exactly the part two you guys wanted, but the story needs to be built up just a little bit. I promise the next part wonât take as long, and there will absolutely be more interactions with the inner circle. Thank you for your patience, I have had low energy because Iâve been quite sick, and havenât been able to get this to a place where I want to post it. I hope you liked it anyway. <3
#azriel Ă reader#azriel x y/n#azriel x you#azriel x reader angst#azriel angst#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel acotar#acotar x reader#acotar#a new place#a new place series
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đĄđ¤đŤđ đĄđ¤đđ đđ¤đŹđŁ
Ἅᥠđ¨đŽđĽđŁđ¤đĽđ¨đđ¨: đđŁ đŹđđđđ⌠đŽđ¤đŞ đ¨đŁđđđ đ¤đŞđŠ đ¤đ đ¨đŞđ đŞđŁđđ¨ đđ¨đŠđđŠđ đđŁ đŠđđ đ˘đđđđĄđ đ¤đ đŠđđ đŁđđđđŠ.
ἍᥠđĽđđđ§đđŁđđ¨: đđđđđŁ đđ§đ! đ¨đŞđ đŞđŁđ đ đđđ˘đđĄđ!đ§đđđđđ§
ἍᥠđđŹ: đđŁđđ¨đŠ, đđ˘đĽđĄđđđ đđđđŠđ (đ đđŁđđ?), đŁđ¤đŠđđđŁđ đđĄđ¨đ đ§đđđĄđĄđŽ.
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đŹđđŁđŁđ đ¨đđ đ˘đ¤đ§đ? đđđ§đđ¨ đ˘đŽ đ˘đđ¨đŠđđ§đĄđđ¨đŠ
⌠. ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚâŚ . ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚâŚ . ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă
It was morning, as you were seated at a large gazebo with the very few concubines whom you had respect for. You drank the tea a maid had gotten for you, as you took small bites of pastry from the treat stand in the middle of the round table. The greenery of the courtyard made the day all the much better.
These concubines were also some of the few Sukuna had approved of you being around, so it felt nice to have some sense of normalcy. The girls all admired you, and the love their lord had for you. As the conversation went on, the talks ranged from talking about how great Lord Sukuna was, all the way to asking you personal questions. Until one of the younger concubines asked you a peculiar question.
"Have you ever tried sneaking out, Y/N?"
It rolled off her tongue out of sheer curiosity. "Yes, please tell us!", another one spoke up. The girls sitting around you looked ready for your answer. But you were dumbfounded at that thought. "No, I haven't." You answered, not wanting to even think about that. Sneaking out? Sure, you had your freedoms with Sukuna, but you never got to go out alone before. You wondered what it would be like, after all, and all the great things you could do. Shopping? Seeing your family on your own? Even for one night would really be something to wonder about.
"Really? Im suprised, considering how much Lord Sukuna dotes over you." An older one spoke, acting as more of a parental figure in the estate for you. "I guess... but I never really thought of that. And I don't really want to know what would happen if I were to ever do that." You spoke, searching for opinions from the other girls. "Maybe you should try! We can help you!" Another younger concubine spoke enthusiastically. "We can have a private girls trip!"
Private? Girls night? Those two things didn't sound appealing, especially to somebody in your position. Ever since Sukuna had taken a sudden liking to you, your world of privacy was thrown out the window. Everything seemed to involve him somehow, even when he was not present. A look of distain crosses your face, as you overthink everything.
"Please Y/N! We wont get caught I promise! How about tonight? We can all make preparations, while you just sit back and let us do the work!" And with that, everybody else seemed to agree. Besides, what complete harm could sneaking out for one night do?
⌠. ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚâŚ . ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚâŚ . ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă
It was the covet of night, as Sukuna had just fallen into deep sleep. His arms were securely wrapped around your body, as you layed on top of his. You blew onto his eyes, just to check to see if he was truly asleep. No reaction. You felt his chest rise and fall with each breath, indicating he had to ill feeling you would try to leave. When he was asleep, it was usually very difficult to escape his grasp. Even when you needed to use the restroom, he would refuse to let you go in most cases.
You ever so slightly slid off of his body, using your hands to try and pry yourself free. You had gotten his top set of hands off your back, but as you were about to fully escape, you heard a low voice.
"Where do you think you are going?" He asked you, only opening his lower set of eyes. You felt your whole body heat up in a nervous mess. "I-was just using the restroom." You say, as your voice starts to crack a bit. "... have one of your servants go with you, like always." He says, while squinting at you. "Don't make me wake up again, brat." And with that, he calls for a servant, thankfully being your close friend in the estate, Miko.
He watches as you move towards the bathroom, and now confirming you were indeed going to the bathroom, he falls back asleep before saying, "And be quick."
As he falls asleep, you and Miko head to pack your belongings into a large bag, making sure to pack all of your essentials. Tip-toeing towards the door, you watch Sukuna with every step, worrying he might wake up and surprise you out of nowhere. But your fears are overtaken with confidence, as you have now reached the sliding shoji doors that lead to the first part of the courtyard. You give Miko a glance, before slowly opening the door, making sure not to wake up Sukuna.
As you open the door, you see the moonlight shine upon the estate, and reflecting on the large fountain in the middle. You had never been out here on your own, really. It was refreshing to be here so late. You stood by the door for a good while, before Miko spoke up.
"Y/N, whats wrong?" She asked you, as she tugged on your hand to keep going forward. "Nothing- its just I have never been out at night alone." You say, as you look around at outside. It was beautiful outside. The air was chilly, but the wind kept at a steady pace, with your thin satin nightgown not helping the chilly air. The wind blew your hair slightly out of your face, letting you get a better view of the outside.
"But you aren't alone, you're with me! And plus, we still have to meet up with the rest of the ladies, so lets go!" Miko says, her head slightly tilted. "Yeah, your right." You say, as Miko leads the way.
⌠. ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚâŚ . ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚâŚ . ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă
You arrived near the front gate, but far enough to not be seen by the guards. The guards have been given strict orders to return you if you were ever to be caught sneaking out. And you knew this. You and the group of concubines sat near the bench, talking about your escape plan quietly. In the back, you can hear the crickets buzzing as the night goes on.
"Okay so, whats the plan?" You asked, causing all of the girls to look over at each other in disappointment. "So your telling me, you made me sneak out in the middle of the night, just for all of you to not know what to do?" You asked frantically, but still whispering. "Okay okay, calm down. We are not going to get caught, especially for how far we have gotten." The older one spoke up. "Exactly! We have gotten so far, we cant stop now." Miko spoke up, lightly rubbing your shoulder.
You start to overthink all of the possibilities in one moment. Will he yell at you? Kill you? No, he could never do that, but the thought of that makes your mind go fuzzy in a way you cannot explain.
"I don't know guys, we should just go back-" Your words are interrupted when you bump into a particularly large wall. Wall? No, this was Sukuna. You drop your bags, as all the respect in your body is put forward.
"Oh? What do we have here?" Sukuna says condescendingly. In an instant, everybody in his vicinity including you cowers to their feet to bow, leaving no room for questions. Behind Sukuna, who was towering over everybody menacingly, was Uraume, as well as a couple guards huddled behind Uraume. Sukuna proceeds to pick you up by the nightgown, as you dangle while looking into his eyes, causing you to shut your eyes out of pure fear.
"Im sorry 'Kuna, i'm so sorry-" "Sorry for? Its clearly not your fault, but these incompetent women you call your friends. Clearly I need to keep better watch." He says, then glaring down at the set of women before him. He scoffs at them, before he hoists you over his shoulder, holding you on there with one hand on your ass, and another wrapped securely around your back.
"Uraume, take care of these women, and make sure they stay clear of Y/N in the future." He says, before turning the other way, walking off with you back to bed. How did he know? You were sure to cover your tracks well. But this confirmed your suspicions, you really couldn't hide from Sukunas grasp. "Right away, my lord." Uraume replied, as they made a flick of the hands, signaling the guards to do their job.
As you are steered away from the scene, you get a good look of your group of friends being halled away by the guards. But Sukuna does not like ruining the image he had gone out of his way to make for you, so he covers your eyes with one of his free hands. You try to move his hands away from your eyes, but to no avail. "What are you doing with them? Where are you taking me?" You say, kicking your feet at his chest, but the mouth on his stomach catches your foot.
"Back to bed, where you belong. And then i'm going to teach you about the things that happen when you try to pull stunts like this."
What. What did he mean by that? "What made you think I would not find out about such trivial things? You are horrible at hiding things from your king, brat." He says, with a 'tsk'. "I said I was sorry, just please!" You said, a look of concern evident on your face. "Please don't hurt my friends!"
"Friends? There is no need for those anymore, now that I know their intentions, must have not been some very good 'friends' if they were planning on leading you away from me."
The walk back to your bedroom is quiet, mostly consisting of your heartbeat racing, the only thing keeping your mind steady are the steps of Sukunas strides. As he reaches the front steps, he places you down on the ground with care. His stature towers over yours, as he reaches out to place a hand on your chin, forcing you to look back up at him, the moonlight reflecting behind him.
"I do not know where you were planning on going, but you wont get very far without me, just so we're clear."
⌠. ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚâŚ . ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă . âŚâŚ . ăâş ă . ⌠. ăâş ă
#sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#heian sukuna#heian era sukuna#heian sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x Charlotte#heian#heian era#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x Charlotte#jjk smut#sukuna fluff
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Hi! I love your writing so much!! I'm currently loving your freelance inventor series! I don't see a lot of danny/bruce fics so it's always fun when you post one!! What danny thinks of the justice league, does he think they're just Bruce's extreme sports friends? Or his kids friends parents?
Danny first meets Bruce's extreme sports friends when Dick plans to introduce Wally-his first boyfriend- on a water skiing trip. It went a little hair-walled due to the misunderstanding.
He had been around the manor with some free time, so he asked Bruce if he could join once Dick brought up the trip and made a comment on how important things he needed to talk about.
Usually, Danny wouldn't have bothered, but because it was so long that thier friendship had started he felt like it was a good time to ask.
At first, both the Waynes appeared to be dancing around the subject that, for a second, Danny thought they didn't want him there. Not wanting to make them feel pressuredâand a little embarrassed he had assumed he could tag alongâhe backtracked quickly, making up an excuse about flying out to see Dani.
There was an awkward dinner that evening, so Danny left immediately. He had planned on staying the night at Wayne Manor, but he felt he had overstayed his welcome from his silly request. Instead, he rented a hotel room in the more dangerous parts of the city.
Danny had been on the hotel's phone line all night, attempting to find a plan to take him somewhere close to Dani. He could fly with his powers the rest of the way, but he needed to create some kind of paper trail.
While he listened to the hold music of the airline representative, he felt a wave of shame. At that point, Danny had only known Bruce and Dick for a year- but with various breaks in between visits- and had thought that made them closer. Who did he think he was?
Bruce wanted their relationship to stay as business associates who occasionally hung out but nothing as important as a vacation trip. Danny had just been the idiot who thought himself more important.
Well, he would not be making the same mistake. He would only come back if it involved his work and would find his own lodging from now on. The Waynes had likely not know how to say no to him.
Idiot, Danny thought, pacing in his room and wiping away tears. Idiot. Stupid. Moron. Of course, Bruce Wayne doesn't think of you as a friend! Get a clue!
"Thank you for waiting, Mr. Fenton. A first-class plane ticket to Calais, France, has been booked for you on Monday, July 7th. Would you like to make this a round trip?" the cheerful woman asks him, and he sniffs.
"No. It's a one-way. I won't be coming back here for a while." The words feel like knives in his chest
She doesn't notice as she chirps "Alright then, that has been done for you. Thank you for using Wayne Airlines!"
Ugh, he even used Bruce's planes by accident. At least this will be the last thing he annoys the man with. The following morning, bright and early Danny is out the door with his suit case. He makes it all the way to the lobby where he bumps into a fretting Dick and some red head kid.
"Danny!" Dick cries. He flings himself onto his waist, squeezing with all his might. Danny is flabbergasted. "Danny, I only wanted Bruce to go on the water ski trip because I wanted to tell him about my boyfriend! I haven't told him I was bisexual yet, I wanted to tell him on the trip, but I made him swear not to mention it to anyone else, but then you asked to go, and Bruce couldn't figure out a way to tell you no without revealing that I wanted to talk about something important-but then you got sad, and then Bruce got sad and I-"
"Babe." The redhead cuts in. "Breath"
"Danny, please don't be mad at Bruce because of me!" Dick cries, rubbing his face against Danny's stomach. "I promise we didn't want to exclude you!"
Danny's heart melts, both by how cute Dick is and the knowledge that Bruce was just a good dad and not any of his insecure-inspired conclusions. "Oh, Dick. I'm sorry you felt that. I promise I'm not mad, and I'm so proud of you. Thank you for sharing that part of yourself with me."
He leans down to hug the boy, grinning as the ten year old sighs. Then he directs a glare at the redhead. He looks about twelve and frankly, Dick is far too young for a boyfriend. "Who's this?"
"I'm Wally West-"
"I asked Dick"
"Oh."
Dick leans back. "This is Wally. He's my best friend and boyfriend! Wally, this is Danny- he's like my second dad."
"It's nice to meet you, sir!" The redhead gulps as Danny's eyes narrow.
"Pleasure." He says in a voice that means anything but. "Dick, sweetie, how did you get here? Does Bruce know where you are?"
"Wally and I...ugh took a cap." Dick everts his eyes. "Bruce was talking to his friends trying to convince them to go on the trip too. He wanted to prove you were his special friend to his regular friends."
A thrill ran through Danny. He was Bruce Wayne's best friend!? "You know I think I can take you kids back home myself. Maybe we can still make a water ski trip!"
Both boys blink owlishly. "Yeah...maybe. Let me just call Uncle Barry to make sure he's going, too."
Wally sprinted to the front desk to borrow their landline while Dick stayed behind, babbling to Danny about how he knew he was bi and how he met Wally. Mentally, Danny was drafting a lecture to give Bruce for allowing his boy to date a co-worker and friend's nephew, especially at this young age! He didn't let his thoughts appear on his face, only nodding and smiling between Dick's word vomits.
Meanwhile, on Wally's side, he uses the Justice League hotline to speak to his Uncle. His call was transferred to the meeting with all the original founders as he used the emergency code accesses Barry had taught him.
His call was placed on speaker for everyone to hear.
"Code Teal for B! Code Teal for B!" he hissed into the phone. The rest of the members sat up straighter and sent Batman looks of alarm. Code Teal was a spouse or lover who thought a hero was cheating on them because of the mission's old hours. We needed to come together to cover for them.
Batman was hiding his face in his hands. ".....Confirm Code Teal."
"Oh and before I forget Code Artificial red for Dick and me" Wally shouts, ignoring the imploding shouts from Batman or Uncle Barry.He hung up not wanting to explain that the boys had chosen to use Fake-out-make-out in order to convince Danny to stay.
He wouldn't mind dating Dick, but maybe later when they were both older. Not that Danny needed to know that.
#dcxdpdabbles#dcxdp crossover#Freelance Inventor#part 4#Set a year after Danny met Bruce and Dick#Six months after The Justice Leauge found out Batman was in love#Fake out make out for Wally/Dick#Danny thinking they best friends forever now. He made a braclet#In the 90s the phone was a hour long wait to book plane tickets
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fall into temptation | three
Jackson! Joel Miller x Preacherâs Daughter Reader
series masterlist
summary: Of all the women to catch Joel Millerâs attentionâit just had to be one of the goddamned preacherâs daughters.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. SLIGHT PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF READER, mentions of her hair which she can put up into braids as well as her style of clothing. despite the nickname Joel gives her, it does not speak to her body type or size. AGE GAP (reader is in her 20âs and Joel is 56). several mentions of religion and religious symbols, reader has a father and two sisters, all who come with names, reader gets put into a a very uncomfortable situation, insecurity, anxiety, Seth is an asshole, protective Joel, he threatens to break someoneâs jaw which is a warning in and of itself. SMUT. loss of virginity, reader is inexperienced but not totally clueless, oral (both m and f receiving), risky unprotected p in v sex (please wrap it up), lots of praise and pet names (baby, babygirl, honey, you know, the works), Joel gets a teensy bit rough, creampie, hint of aftercare, ends with a cliffhanger, but also not really if you think about it?
MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY, NO MENTION OF RACE OR BODY TYPE.
word count: 10k
a/n: it was not my intention to post this on jesus day, but here we are. this took forever and a day considering the second part was posted back in september, but i am so so proud of myself for finally completing a wip i could cry. i did a bulk of the editing while iâve been sick and in all honesty i probably should have asked someone to beta for me because i think i coughed out like 90% of my brain cells this week, but i think it turned out okay. ish.
Somehow, even over the volume of the live music, you could still hear their hushed, astonished whispers.
âAre you seeing what Iâm seeing?â
âIs that Joel Miller with Pastor Johnâs daughter?â
âWhatâs she doing holding his hand?â
âHeâs got to be at least twice her fucking ageââ
Throat bobbing anxiously, you glanced up at Joel.
His shoulders were squared back, his head held high.Â
Solid. Steady.
Joel couldnât seem to care less about the bewildered stares, the judgment that was being flung his way. Not once did he seem to waver. But you?
Oh, you were already starting to crumble underneath it all, on the verge of falling apart right before everyoneâs prying eyes. Shame sat heavily inside of your chest, the weight of the feeling suffocating you, making it harder and harder to breathe as it prevented air from reaching your lungs.
It had nothing to do with Joel. Of course it didnât. It had all to do with you and with who you were. Their beloved preacherâs sweet, innocent young daughter.Â
His youngest daughter.Â
Suddenly, the whispers were no longer whispers.
âOh God, sheâs not going home with him, is she?â
âThatâs not right! Someone should say something!â
âPastor John would never allow something like this.â
âPoor thingâs naiveâshe doesnât know any better.â
Hot, stubborn tears of frustration glazed over your eyes and threatened to spill. It was as if you were a child who didnât know any better, a gullible, clueless little girl with nothing in her brain who needed to be rescuedâsaved from the bad, bad man before he did bad, bad things to her.
Had it been anyone else, no one would have batted an eye. No one would have noticed, let alone cared. But it was you that Joel Miller was leaving the bar with in the middle of the night and it was you whose hand he had clasped in his own. That is what made it wrong. That is why it was a problem.
Everyoneâs concerns had nothing to do with him at all, they had everything to do with you. You, you, you. You were the sole reason why it was a problem, the reason why he was being perceived as the Devil himself, horns out as he dragged the poor little unsuspecting angel down to the fires of Hell.
âJoel?â Overwhelmed, you instinctively reached for his arm with your free hand. Cold and trembling, your little fingers curled tightly around his bicep, digging into the firm, bulging muscle through the thick corduroy fabric of his sleeve. You whispered his name again. âJoelââ
âSâalright, babygirl,â he reassured you quietly over his shoulder. He gave your hand a comforting squeeze. âSâalright. Just keep your eyes on me, sweetheart. Iâve got you. You just keep on lookinâ right at me, okay?â
Nodding, you inhaled deeply and focused on him. Only him. The broadness of his back and his shoulders. Tufts of hair that curled over the collar of his shirt. Only him. Heâs what mattered. Heâs all that mattered.
âAlmost there,â Joel murmured, squeezing your hand again as the door came into view. âBreathe, baby. Weâre almost there. Iâve got you. Youâre alright. Ainât gonna let anythinâ bad happen to you. Promise Iâve got you.â
It wasnât until his fingers wrapped around the old, brass handle that you finally exhaled the breath you had been holding out in utter relief, though it was very, very short lived. Just as Joel pulled the door open, you felt a hand wrap around your arm. Dry, slender fingers dug into the soft flesh above your elbow as an attempt, and a feeble one at that, was made to tear you out of Joelâs grasp.
The music stopped and the bar fell silent. Everything and everyone came to a sudden standstill, freezing mid dance, mid drink, mid bite, mid gossip.
Shocked, you glanced over your shoulder. âSeth?â you squeaked his name. âWhatâwhat are you doing?â
Seth didnât acknowledge you. His focus was on Joel.
âWhat the hell do you think youâre doing, Miller?â
Joelâs anger couldnât be seen, but it could be felt. So palpable you could have wrapped your fingers around it. It radiated off of him and loomed over the entire bar like an incoming storm cloud. Threatening. Dangerous.
âWhere are you taking her?â Seth demanded, his other hand curling around your wrist as he tried, but failed, to snatch you from Joelâs side once more. âLet the girl go! You let her go right now, you hear?â
Caught in between the two men, you nervously turned to look at Joel. Nostrils flared, jaw clenched, seething eyes that did the talking for him. His message was loud and oh so abundantly clear.
If Seth didn't take his hands off you, he wasnât going to have any hands.
Not after Joel Miller was through with him.
Blazing heat flooded your face. As if it couldnât possibly get any worse, everyone had now gathered around you to watch the tense encounter, eyes wide, brows raised and jaws practically on the weathered, hardwood floor.
Tommy Miller stood among the crowd, subtly shaking his head, his lips pressed together in a tight, thin line of disapproval as he glowered at his older brother. Would he be looking at Joel like that had it been Esther in your place? If she was the one he was taking home? Would any of this be happening if it was her instead of you?
âSeth.â Uttering his name, you shifted your attention back to him. You sounded calm and collected, despite feeling anything but. Joelâs hand in yours was the only thing keeping you steady and grounded. His touch was the only reason you hadnât yet spiraled into a state of panic. Clearing your throat lightly, you spoke again and tried your hardest not to waver. âPlease let go of me.â
Still fixed on Joel, he spat, âIâll be damned if I let him take you anywhere.â
âHeâs not taking me anywhere, Seth.â Without thinking, the words came tumbling out of your mouthâloud and clear for everyone in that room to hear. âHe isnât forcing me to go with him. Iâm making the choice to leave with him. Out of my own volition. Please let go of me.â
Finally, Seth looked at you. His old, worn features were twisted in disbelief. âWhat?â
You swallowed dryly. Part of you wanted you to shrink away, curl into yourself. Instead, you straightened your posture, forced yourself to stand a little bit taller. Willed yourself to have a backbone for once in your life.
âYou heard me,â you said, lifting your chin in defiance. Several onlookers gasped in surprise at your rebellion. Where had this insolence come from? âIâm choosing to leave with Joel. Now, please let go of my arm.â
Behind you, Joel stood silent and still.Â
Watching. Observing. Waiting.
He wanted nothing more than to intervene. Rip you out of Sethâs hands and shatter each and every last bone in all ten of his fingers for putting them on you. Had Joel not realized that this was probably the first time in your whole, entire life youâd mustered up the courage to use your voice, he would have easily given into the urge. He wanted to protect you. He needed so badly to protect you. Yet, he knew you werenât helpless or incapable of standing on your own two feet. He knew you deserved the chance to stand up and speak for yourself after a lifetime of being silenced, a lifetime of being forced to stay in your place, seen but never heard.
âSeth, let go of my arm,â you repeated. It was no longer a polite request. It was a demand.
He scoffed. âDo you honestly think Iâm going to let you leave with somebody like him? You think Iâm just going to stand back and let him take advantage of you?â
Oh, you hadnât liked that insinuation, not one bit.Â
It caused something inside of you to finally give way.
Snap.
The blood in your veins boiled, ran hot enough to make you feel like you were about to burn from the inside out. âJoel isnât taking advantage of me! It isnât like that,â you seethed, furiously. The quiet, well mannered, obedient good girl everyone in Jackson knew was gone. And she could stay gone. In your periphery, you could see Leah elbowing her way through the sea of people to the front of the crowd with an incredulous look plastered on her face. She stood there beside Tommy, who appeared to be just as incredibly bewildered by your outburst. âDonât treat me like Iâm some child who doesnât know any better! Iâm an adult and Iâm old enough to make my own choices, okay?â
For a moment, you had forgotten it was Seth standing there in front of you.
âIâm capable of making my own decisions! I donât need you to dictate my life. I donât need you to tell me what is and isnât good for meâcontrolling what I should and shouldnât believe in.â Your voice trembled as emotions youâd been suppressing for years bubbled their way up to the surface. Amidst the chaos, you could feel Joel squeeze your hand again, as if silently encouraging you not to lose your nerve. He was your anchor, the only person who could keep your world from capsizing. You knew he wouldnât let you drown. Not even God, who you had always been forced to believe was your pillar of strength, had ever made you feel this protected. Safe. âI donât need you to tell me how to live and much less when itâs the end of the world.â
It wasnât Seth you were addressing.
It was your father.
Your father, who controlled every last thing, from what you would eat to the way that you dressed and how you wore your hair.
Your father, who refused to let you have a mind of your own, who simply could not bear the mere thought of you thinking for yourself.
Your father, whose love felt like shackles, heavy, rusted metal restraints that had been digging into the flesh of your wrists for far, far too long.
âYou need to let me go now,â you said, swallowing back the lump in your throat. Once more, you caught Leah from the corner of your eye, your heart lurching in your chest when you noticed her desperately trying to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. She was the only person in the room who understood how you felt. Her rebelliousness only ever masked the pain of knowing her fatherâs love came with terms and conditionsâand the fear of knowing what would happen if those terms and conditions werenât met. For several weeks, youâd gotten a taste of what she went through everyday, how her fear of putting her foot down led her to run around in secret and live a double life. âJust let me go.â
Seth firmly shook his head. âNo! Iâm not letting you go anywhere with him. I donât know what the hell he did to you, but heâs clearly got you all fucking brainwashed.â
That was fucking enough. Joel stepped in, lowering his voice as he said, âYâknow, Iâve just âbout lost count of how many fuckinâ times sheâs asked you to let her go now and itâs really startinâ to piss me off.â Raising an eyebrow, he laid his offer out on the table. âHereâs the deal. You let go of her right now and I wonât shatter your fuckinâ jaw into pieces. That seem fair enough to you?â
âNo.â Seth gripped your arm even harder, prompting you to let out a little yelp as his nails dug painfully into your skin. Though itâd been accidental and he hadnât meant to hurt you, it didnât matter. Heâd just set off the ticking time bomb that was Joel Miller.
Furious, Joel snatched a fistful of his shirt with his free handâthe other still held yours. Gentle, despite being mere moments away from beating someone to within an inch of their life.
âJoel! Stop!â Tommyâs voice broke through the tension as he approached. His footsteps were slowâcareful and cautious, as if he was afraid to make any kind of sudden movement. âJoel. Hey. Câmon now, letâs not do this, alright? Ainât gotta handle things this way. We can talk it through. No need for anyone to wind up bleedinâ in the fuckinâ infirmary tonight, so just take a breath and let him go.â
Blatantly ignoring Tommyâs attempt to keep the peace, Joel tugged Seth forward, yanking him closer. âListen to me and listen to me good âcause I ainât gonna fuckinâ say it again. Youâd best take your fuckinâ hands off her right now unless you wanna spend the rest of the night sweepinâ up your teeth off the floor of your own fuckinâ bar,â he threatened, his tone enough to send a chill up anyoneâs spine, even your own.
âYou wouldnât dare, Miller.â Somehow, Seth managed to keep a straight face, but you could see it so clearly in his eyes and in the tremble of his lower lipâoh, he was terrified of Joel and rightly so. âNot in front of all these people. Not in front of your brother. That wouldnât be a smart move considering youâre already on thin fucking ice for what you did to that boyâs face, now would it?â
Joel tugged him closer. âTest me,â he hissed through gritted teeth. âGo on. Fuckinâ test me.â
His challenge was immediately met with a pathetic look of defeat. Seth dropped your arm and he was released.
âSâwhat I fuckinâ thought.â Without another word to the man, Joel whirled around and roughly pulled the door open, leading the way outside. As you both descended the buildingâs old, creaking wooden steps, you began to shiver and he suddenly remembered heâd left his jacket behind inside the bar. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders. âCâmere, my little dove,â he murmured as he tucked you against his side for warmth. âIâve got you.â
The first thing he did was light the fireplace.
âShould start warminâ you up, sweet girl,â heâd said to you over his shoulder. He tossed a log into the blaze as you sat perched on his couch rubbing your bare arms with your hands. âMâgonna go upstairs and find you a blanket, alright? You stay put.â
âOkay,â youâd mumbled, knowing there was no point in telling him not to fuss over you.
Even with the soft, fleece throw blanket he had draped around your shoulders and the warmth of the flames in front of you, you continued trembling. Subtle, but heâd noticed it, felt it when he had sat down beside you and pulled you close against his side. âOh baby, youâre still shakinâ?â That was when he realized you werenât cold. Frowning, Joel rose to his feet and disappeared down the hallway. He came back to the living room a minute later with a glass of water in his hand. With a small, labored grunt, he dropped to one knee in front of you and held it out. âHere.â
âNo, thank you.â You shook your head. âIâm not thirsty.â
âMaybe not, but Iâm kinda worried you could be in a bit of shock, right now,â he stated, the creases in between his brows deepening as he observed you for any other physical signs of distress. Carefully, Joel lifted the glass to your lips, gently coaxing you to take a drink. âCâmon, darlinâ. Think you can be a real good girl for me and at least take a couple sips? Hm?â
Sighing softly, you nodded and did as he asked of you, taking a small sip of water. It soothed your dry mouth and throat and you took another one. Maybe you were thirsty after all.
âLittle more, now. Little more. Thatâs it. Thatâs my good girl.â Once he was satisfied with how much youâd had to drink, Joel set the half empty glass down on the oak coffee table behind him. He turned back to you, placing his large hands on either side of your thighs below the hem of your dress. He started tracing soft, soothing circles into your skin with his thumbs. âMâreal proud of you for standinâ up for yourself back there, sweetheart. Took a whole lot of fuckinâ courage to do that, yâknow.â
You glanced down at your hands in your lap. âMhm.â
âBaby. Hey. Look at me.â One of his hands abandoned your leg and he reached up, delicately taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. He tilted your face upwards, his worried gaze meeting your own. âTalk to me. Mâright here.â
âThatâthat was a lot,â you admitted meekly, shoulders sagging as the adrenaline started wearing off and your body slowly came down from the peak hormone rush. âIt was a lot.â
Sighing, Joelâs hand fell away from your face. âYeah, I know it was a lot, babygirl. I know. Iâm sorry. I shouldnât haveââ
âNo.â You were quick to cut him off. âDonât be sorry.â
His chest heaved with another sigh, this one deeper, heavier, bearing the weight of his guilt. âWell I am,â he said. He planted his hands on either side of you on the couch and lightly shook his head. âDidnât even fuckinâ think twice when I pulled you outta that fuckinâ supply closet and took your hand in front of all those people. I was so fuckinâ hellbent on showinâ everybody you were mine that I didnât even stop and think âbout what all it would mean for you. It was selfish of me. Real fuckinâ selfish. And Iâm sorry, little dove.â
âDo you regret it?â you asked, quietly.
Joel chuckled in spite of himself. âMâpretty sure Iâm the one who should be askinâ you that question, darlinâ,â he remarked. âTell me. Do you regret it? Do you regret me pullinâ you outta that closet?â He momentarily paused. There was a stutter in his heartbeat when you dropped your gaze away from his, silence your only reply. âDo you regret me takinâ your hand in front of everyone?â
Of course not.
You wanted to be his and you wanted everyone to know it. There was no regret, none.Â
Still.Â
The consequences that you would undoubtedly have to face in the morning were overwhelming. Daunting.
Surely, by then, your father would know about you and Joel. When he came downstairs right after sunrise and he discovered you werenât in the kitchen helping Lydia prepare breakfast, he would question where you were and make some kind of remark about how you should not be sleeping in this late. He would tell her just how irresponsible it was for you to ignore your duties and obligations to him and the family. Sloth was one of the seven deadly sins, after all. He would make her trek upstairs and wake you, and when she did, your sister would find your bed empty.
Meanwhile, there would be a knock at the front door.
No stranger to having members of the congregation show up on his doorstep when they were in need, be it of prayer or comfort, your father would answer it only to find someone, not in need of solace, but who felt that it was their responsibility and moral obligation to inform him that they had seen his youngest daughter leaving The Tipsy Bison with Joel Miller in the middle of the night, hand in hand.
He wouldnât believe them.
âNow, that is simply not true,â he would say, offended that anybody would have the nerve to show up at his door and accuse you of something so vile. âThatâs not possible. I know my daughter and she would never do such a thing. It must have been someone else that you saw with him. Someone who looked like her, perhaps.â
Then, Lydia would descend the staircase and tell him you werenât in your bedroom. âShe must have gone up to the main street as soon as she woke up,â she would suggest with a shrug, not yet privy to the events that had taken place the night before at the party you and Leah had snuck off to. She never had to worry about you, the good one. âI did notice we were running pretty low on eggs. Sugar, too. She probably wanted to be the first in line at the pantry toâPapa? Whatâs the matter?â
The color would drain from your fatherâs face when the realization slowly sank in. No, you werenât out on the main street picking up eggs for breakfast and sugar for his tea. You were lying up in Joel Millerâs bedâdefiled, impure, and with the curse of Eve on your flesh. Even after dedicating his entire life to making sure you did not stray from the path of righteousness, he had failed. You had fallen into temptation.Â
There was a chance he would have mercy on you. All you had to do was beg and plead for his forgivenessâand more importantly, for the forgiveness of God. âVow to atone for your sins,â your father would say, his gaze fixed on the Holy Bible in his lap. He probably wouldnât be able to look at you, not after what you had done. âRepent. And swear to me, child, that you will never so much as glance in that manâs direction ever again.â
No. Thatâs not what you wanted.
You wanted Joel and the freedom to be with him.Â
But that freedom came with a high, high price.
You were willing to pay it, but youâd be lying if you said you were prepared to navigate the consequences. Then again, was there really any way for someone to prepare themselves to be shunned by their own father?
âI can take you home,â Joel offered quietly, the sound of his voice taking you out of the future and bringing you back into the present.
âWhat?â
âI can take you home,â he repeated himself. âI can take you home right now if thatâs what you want, sweet girl. Wonât give you any kinda grief âbout it.â
Confused, all you could do was stare at him.
âListen to me, baby. You mean a lot to me. More than I can even begin to explain,â Joel reassured you before any kind of doubt could find its way into your mind. âI want you to stay with me. Thereâs nothinâ on whatâs left of this fuckinâ earth I want more than for you to stay here with me. But what you want matters to me a hell of a lot more than what I want.â He reached up, lightly stroking your cheek with his thumb. âIf you decide you wanna go home and go back to your familyâback to your old manâthen thatâs where Iâll take you. Okay?â
Your father would give you an ultimatum. But Joel? He was giving you a choice. And heâd respect that choice.
âI wanna free you from your cage, my little dove. But I think we both know youâve gotta make the choice to fly outta there on your own.â He lightly swept his thumb over your quivering bottom lip, his eyes meeting yours as he whispered, âDoorâs wide open for you. What you do next is all up to you.â
âIâm afraid, Joel,â you confessed. A tear slipped from the corner of your eye and rolled its way down the side of your face. He was quick to wipe it away, along with the others that followed. âI do want out of my cage. I really, really do. But Iâm terrified. All I have ever known is my family and my faith. I have never been apart from my father and my sisters.â
His expression softened. âI know youâre scared. Canât promise you things will be easy, but there is one thing I can promise you.â
âWhatâs that?â you questioned, then waited with baited breath.
He gingerly cupped your cheek in his large palm. âIâve got you,â he swore to you, just like he had done so back at the bar. âIf you decide to stay, I promise Iâll take real, real good care of you, alright? For the rest of my life, Iâll take care of you. You wonât ever have to worry âbout a thing with me by your side. Swear it on my life.â
Warmth blossomed in your heartspace and finally, you stopped trembling. Lifting a hand, you curled your fingers around his wrist as your gaze fell to his mouth. âJoel?â
âWhat is it, darlinâ girl?â
âKiss me. Please.â
With a gentle nod, Joelâs other hand found your hip, the warmth of it seeping through the cotton fabric of your dress. Leaning in, he brushed his lips against yours. It was a chaste thing, soft and innocent until you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to you. âBabygirl,â he mumbled against your lips. He deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue through your parted lips and into your mouth. He tasted like bold bourbon and citrus beer. There was a faint hint of tobacco tooâyou recalled him admitting to you one night in the church house that while he wasnât all that much of a smoker, at least not like he used to be when living in the zones, he would occasionally partake in the habit if he happened to come across a pack of cigarettes while out on patrol, pairing the nicotine with a drink. He tasted delicious. He tasted delicious because he tasted like yours.
You sank back into the worn, supple brown leather of his couch, tugging him forward so he sank in with you. Over you. Releasing your near death grip on his collar, you managed to wedge your hands in between your bodies and began to claw furiously at the buttons of his shirt, your fingers shaking out of pure desperation to feel him. It wasnât until you were halfway down that he finally noticed what you were doing and leaned back, catching both of your wrists.
âBaby, wait,â he panted, shaking his head. âDonât think nowâs a good time for thatââ
âJoel, please,â you pleaded, the intense ache between your thighs almost too much for you to bear. âPlease. I want it. I want you.â
âSâbeen a rough night for you.â Joelâs voice was hoarseâstrained, like he was aching just as much, if not more. âYouâre real emotional right now. Vulnerable. Last thing I want is to take advantage of you at a time like this.â
You frowned. Had Sethâs words gotten into his head?
âYouâre not taking advantage of me.â
âDarlinâ I just donât think we shouldââ
âJoel, please,â you begged him again. âI was so good for you, was I not? Wasnât I patient, just like you asked me to be?â
His lips thinned into a tight line. He wouldnât be able to resist much longer. You, his beautiful little temptress of Eden.
âI waited for so long,â you reminded him. âIâve been so, so good for you. Please, just make me yours already. I donât want to think about anything else right now. I just want to be with you. Please, Joel. I need you so badly it hurts.â
Christ.
No man could stand it. No man could possibly have the strength to deny you.
With a look of utter defeat, he folded. Before he could say another word or make another move, your greedy mouth was on his, and you kissed him with fervor, with urgency, as you finished the task of unbuttoning his shirt. Pushing it off of his shoulders, the corduroy fabric fell into a crumpled heap behind him, nearly knocking the glass of water off the coffee table. You broke away from him and shamelessly marveled at his mouth watering formâyou admired the way miles of smooth, tanned skin stretched over his wide shoulders, broad chest and soft, soft belly. Arousal pooled between your legs and you reached out and raked your fingers down his chest, and over his stomach, going lower and lower, following the trail of coarse, dark hair that led you to his brown leather belt. You clumsily started fumbling with the brass buckle until he caught your hands once more.
âSlow down, my little dove,â he murmured. âNo need to rush this. Weâve got all night.â He stood up and held his hand out to you. Time blurred a bitâmaybe it was your nervousness mingled with the eager anticipation of what was to come, but there seemed to be a small gap in your memory, a blank space that spanned from the moment you rose off the couch until the moment you found yourself standing in his bedroom where you were about to answer to the call of the flesh.
Dropping your hand, Joel switched on the lamp on his bedside table and kicked off his boots before taking you into his arms. âCâmere, honey.â He nuzzled your cheek with the tip of his nose as he spoke, the scruff of his beard tickling your cheek. âCoupleâa rules, sweet girl. I do somethinâ that you donât like, you tell me. You want me to stop, you tell me to stoââ
Without waiting for him to finish his sentence, you slowly lowered yourself down onto the floor and knelt at his feet with purpose, as if kneeling before an altar, a sacred, holy space. Though you felt anxious, you were eager to worship. âI havenât forgotten about what I said earlier tonight,â you cooed, noticing the mild look of surprise on his face. âI said Iâd make it up to you and I intend on keeping my word.â
All the blood in his body rushed south to his cock and it strained painfully against the crotch of his jeans. âBaby, Iââ Again, he was cut off, only this time by the sound of his own groan when your hand brushed up the front of his thigh and over his growing bulge. He glanced down, his heart thrumming painfully hard against his sternum as he watched you reach for his belt buckle.
With all your might, you willed your hands so as not to tremble. It was self-explanatory, what you were about to do, but your total lack of experience sowed seeds of doubt into your mindâyou wanted to make him feel good, just like he had made you feel good outside of the church house during services. Just how you knew he would make you feel tonight.
Hand still over his buckle, you pressed the tenderest of kisses to his bulge through his jeans. Then, turning your head, you rested your cheek on one of his thick, blue denim clad thighs and peered up at him through your eyelashes with a small, nervous smile as you confessed what he already knew. âIâve never done this before.â
Oh, how sweet and endearing you were. Joel reached down and smoothed your hair back and away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. âSâalright, honey,â he crooned, grazing the silkiness of your cheek with his index finger. âIâll walk you through it. Teach you how to be a real good girl and suck my cock just the way I like it. That what you want, my little dove?â
His filth made your cunt clench hard around nothing.
Slowly lifting your head off of his thigh, you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and managed a clear, consenting nod as your hands fumbled with his buckle, the clinking sound of metal ringing loudly in your ears. You undid the button on his jeans and pulled down his zipper, your throat drying when you saw the outline of him, his size intimidating even behind the cotton fabric of his faded, black boxer briefs.
With a harsh swallow, you glanced up at him, silently asking him for his permission to continue.
Such a polite little thing, Joel thought to himself. âGo on, sweetheart,â he encouraged.
You tugged his jeans down to the middle of his thighs and hooked your index fingers underneath the elastic waistband of his boxer briefs, pulling them down and freeing his cock. There was a deep, swooping sensation in your belly as you watched it slap up against the lower part of his abdomen. After many nights of sitting in his lap, feeling him through his clothes, grinding your cunt down onto him, you thought youâd at the very least had an idea of what you would be in for, but oh, how wrong you had been. He was so much bigger than you could have imagined, and your stomach swooped again when you realized he was not going to fit. Anywhere.
Licking away the dryness of your lips, you take him in one of your hands, feeling the heaviness of his length in your palm. He was so long and so, so thick.
âOh fuck,â Joel hissed the curse through gritted teeth, his hips jerking forward involuntarily as your touch sent a charged jolt of electricity shooting up the length of his spine. He looked down at you, his pupils blown wide with arousal. Christ. You hadnât even done anything to him yet, but seeing you sitting so prettily at his feet was almost enough to make him come on the spot.
Delicately wrapping your hand around him, you found yourself almost in awe at the way your fingertips barely, just barely, touched. The sheer size of his cock dwarfed your hand, and made it seem so much smaller than it really was.
âYouâre so big,â you murmured, echoing your thoughts. You licked at your lips again, suddenly feeling ravenous, an appetite that had seemingly come out of nowhere making you salivate. The tip of him was flushed red, slit already glisteningâhow badly you wanted, needed a taste. Never, ever, did you think you would be down on your knees for anything but prayer, but there you were, starved and desperate to bite into the forbidden fruit.
âWhatâre you waitinâ for, darlinâ girl?â he croaked.
âPermission,â you replied, sweetly.
âGo right ahead, baby. Sâall yoursâIâm all yours.â
Yours.
Yours, yours, yours.
Finding your first push of courage, you leaned forward and so carefully swept your tongue along the tip of his length, collecting the slight saltiness leaking from the slit and getting your first delectable taste. With your hand still wrapped firmly around his base, you looked up, your eyes locked on Joelâs face as you flicked your tongue up against the rigid underside of his cock.
âFuckinâ Christ,â Joel groaned, all of the muscles in his stomach already pulling taut when he felt you dragging your tongue in a slow, purposeful lick along the length of him. âBabygirl.â
âIs that good?â you asked him, sounding hopeful. âAm I doing good?â
âDoinâ so, so fuckinâ good for me, sweetheart. Look so fuckinâ pretty down on your knees for me.â
Pleased, you wrapped your mouth around the head of his length, pressing forward and taking him in as far as you possibly couldâwhich, in all fairness, wasnât very far. At least not as far as you would have liked. Another groan tore itself from the depths of his chest as your plush, plump lips sealed around him, your tongue warm and wet on the underside of his cock. Moving both of your hands to rest on the sides of his thighs, you began to move your head back and forth, following what felt most natural to you. The nerves you initially felt slowly but surely dissipated, vanishing one by one with every curse, every tremble, every sharp breath.
Joel resisted the urge to buck his hips forward, fought the desire to feel himself at the back of your throat. He needed to be gentle, so careful with such an innocent, pliant thing who had much, much to learn. âSweet little fuckinâ mouth feels so good around my cock, baby, just like I fuckinâ knew it would. Yâthink it can take more of me, little dove? Hm?â
You hummed, the vibration intensifying his pleasure.
âYeah? Yâtrust me?â
Your reply came in the form of a muffled, âMhm.â
Joel reached down and cradled the back of your head in the palm of his hand. He carefully guided you further onto his throbbing length, slowly feeding you one inch at a time. Your fingers dug into the denim of his jeans. He was much more than a mouthful for you, and you could only take about half of him before he hit the back of your throat, prompting you to gag around him. Drool dribbled out from the corners of your mouth and down the sides your chin, dripping onto your lap.
âOh fuck, sweetheart. Yeah, thatâs it. Little more now, honey,â Joel encouraged. He bucked his hips forward, his head slipping further down your throat. Just when you felt like you were about to choke, he pulled out and you tried your hardest not to cough and sputter as you took in a much needed, precious breath of air. He gave you a few seconds or so to finish catching your breath as he shoved his jeans and boxer briefs further down his legs. He stepped out of the articles of clothing and kicked them somewhere off to the aside, standing before you completely bare. âOpen up.â
Your absolute devotion to him bred sweet submission, so as worried as you were that you wouldnât be able to handle it, you nodded obediently and very willingly did as you were told.Â
He guided himself right back into your waiting mouth, pressing deeply. You tried to relax your jaw, reminding yourself to breathe in and out through your nose. Tears streamed down the sides of your face as you did your best to forestall another gag. âLittle bit more,â he said, thrusting his hips in a slow, steady controlled rhythm. He advanced even further into your mouthâtrusting he wouldnât suffocate you, nor push you too far past your limits, you opened up wider. He moaned, âYeah, baby. Thatâs my good girl. Thatâs my good fuckinâ girl.â
With a bit of newfound confidence, you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him. You swiped your tongue along the thick, prominent vein on the underside of his cock, earning yourself more of his sweet, sweet praise.
âFuck, yeah, suck me off, sweetheart. This pretty little mouth was fuckinâ made for sin,â he breathed, guiding your head back and forth with a firm, but gentle hand.
You moaned, the noise muffled around his length. Slick soaked through your panties and coated the insides of your thighs. With another moan, you tightly squeezed your legs together, inwardly reminding yourself that patience was a virtue.
Noticing the way you had shifted, Joel moved his hand from the back of your head, lightly curling his fingers around your jaw. He pulled you off of his cock, a loud, lewd popping sound bouncing off the sage green walls of his bedroom. âCâmere, baby.â He grabbed your arms, effortlessly hoisting you up to your feet.
âWhatâs wrong?â you questioned him worriedly. âDid I do something wrong?â
Chuckling softly, he brushed a finger along the strap of your dress. You could do no wrong, his perfect, perfect girl. âOf course not, sweet girl. You did so fuckinâ good for me,â Joel reassured you, lightly tracing along your collarbone with his finger and making your flesh erupt in goosebumps. He leaned forward and feathered a kiss onto your lips, murmuring against them, âAre you wet, little dove?â
Before you could even process the query and generate some kind of coherent response, he dove his opposite hand between your thighs, cupping your warm heat in his palm. At this, your weak knees buckled, prompting you to reach out and grab onto his arms to hold steady and keep yourself from falling into a helpless heap on the floor.
âOh, honey. Youâre soaked. That what sucking my cock does to you?â he cooed. He peppered another kiss, this one onto the corner of your mouth. His voice lowered another octave. âPoor little thing. She needs me, donât she? Needs me to take care of her?â
You whimpered. âYes.â
âManners, babygirl,â he reminded you, skimming your cheek with his nose. âYes, what?â
âYes, please.â
Humming in approval, Joel withdrew his hand from in between your legs and guided you backwards towards his bed. âSit,â he commanded gently, bidding you to let go of him. âArms up.â
Reaching for the hem of your dress, he took great care in pulling it over your head, then discarded the vibrant yellow material over his shoulder, leaving you in nothing but your cowboy boots and thin, cotton white panties. Without a word, he knelt before you and pulled off one boot, and then the other, setting them both aside. He hooked two fingers underneath the elastic waistband of your underwear, coaxing you to lift your bottom off of the bed, just long enough for him to pull them down and slide them down your legs. He was so tender in the manner in which he undressed you.
âFuckinâ beautiful, beautiful girl,â Joel praised. His dark gaze dragged down the length of your body as you sat before him wearing nothing but the delicate, gold chain around your neck. The holy cross nestled between your supple breasts gleamed in the light of the lamp on the nightstand. He would leave it on until your decision was made, set in stone. âMy pretty little dove.â
âJoel.â You whimpered his name, hands curling around fistfuls of his dark blue sheets. You were drenched now, in dire need of some relief. If he didnât touch you where you needed him most, you would surely lose your mind.
Desperate, you leaned back slightly onto his bed and parted your knees, your folds glistening as you showed him just how badly you needed him.
Joel groaned, almost visibly salivating at the sight. The blazing heat in his eyes sent ripples of desire coursing through your body, straight to your throbbing core.
You opened wider. âPlease.â
âChrist, babygirl. Already soakinâ the sheets.â Sliding a finger up along the seam of your pussy, he grazed your clit, the touch light, but somehow still enough to make your hips arch off the mattress as white-hot pinpricks of pleasure danced their way up your spine. He lowered his head and leaned in, your sweet scent drawing him in like a moth to a flame. Just when you were about to start pleading him for more, he dipped his face into the apex of your thighs, his mouth finally, finally, meeting your wet heat.
âOh!â you gasped, your head falling back. âFuck!â
Against you, his lips curled upwards into a wicked grin. Heâd never heard you curse before, not until now.
Joel took his time devouring you, savoring the essence of your cunt with each broad stroke of his tongue. Sealing his lips around your clit, he flicked the swollen, sensitive bundle of nerves over and over again, eliciting from you some of the sweetest noises that he had ever heard in his entire life. In preparation for what you both knew was to come, he pushed one finger inside of you, the invasion causing you to fist his sheets even harder. He then slipped in a second finger, groaning in sheer, carnal bliss at how your walls squeezed them, at the mere thought of them squeezing his cock in the same manner. How was it that you felt so much tighter this time around?
âOh God.â
You shouldnât be saying His name. Not like this.
Not when something this sinful was being done to you.
Hungrily, Joel lapped at you, curling both of his fingers in an upwards motion to hit the perfect spot. He knew you were close, felt it in the way that you squirmed and writhed. Draping his arm across your hips, he pinned them down onto the bed, holding you still as he chased your high as if it were his own.
âJoel,â you chanted his name over and over again in a fevered prayer. Releasing the sheets, your hands found his hair, tangling themselves in his curls. Your head fell back, and you cursed at the ceiling of his bedroom. âFuck, fuck, fuck Joelââ
Pushing onto his mouth, you came, moaning his name so loudly you were certain the whole neighborhood was getting an earful.
Joel pulled back, his beard and mustache slicked with your spend. âSâright, honey,â he crooned, his digits still buried to the knuckle as he helped you to ride out your wave of ecstasy. Eventually, when he pulled them out, you tried closing your shaking legs. He tsked and shook his head, wrenching them open further. âNo, no, baby. Keep those pretty thighs open for me. Wanna see her.â He admired his work, his cock twitching at the sight of your pussy, swollen and shining, and ready to take him.
Like earlier, there was another brief skip in time.
Mind still in a haze, you hadnât even realized that heâd risen to his feet and guided you further up onto his bed, not until you were lying on your back with your head on his pillow and he was hovering over you, his hard length brushing against one of your messy, inner thighs when he settled himself between your legs.Â
Your heart began to pound in a mingle of both fear and excitement.
Joelâs eyes met yours. His pupils were blown so wide, there was not one, single trace of brown anywhere to be seen. âYâabsolutely sure about this, little dove?â
Your response came without hesitation. âYes. Iâm sure.â
He pressed a kiss to the underside of your jaw. Your submission was a gift, and he would cherish every last second of your surrender to him, savor it for as long as he possibly could. His lips, soft and warm, skimmed along the column of your throat, leaving a trail of fresh goosebumps in their wake.
If, by some chance, you decided that you wanted to go back to your father and to your faith, Joel didnât know how he would find it in himself to let you go, not after this. Of course, he would have to let go, though.
The last thing he wanted was to help free you from one cage just to stick you right back into another. While he was no stranger to loss, he had to admit to himself that to lose you would be a knife to whatever was left of his heart.
Shoving the thought out of his mind, he reached down and gripped the base of his cock, pumping it in his fist before running the leaking head along your puffy lips, coating himself in your wetness with the hope it would ease some of the pain you were bound to feel. âReady, babygirl?â he asked you, lightly teasing your entrance. âMight hurt a bit. Mâgonna go slow. Just need you to relax for me, alright?â
âOkay.â
âIâve got you,â he promised.
You nodded, saying softly, âI know.â
Though he knew he had all of your trust, Joel could still sense your anxiousness. He reached out for your hand, lacing your fingers together with his own as he gingerly pressed forward and eased himself into you, taking the very innocence you had been taught your entire life to preserve, one slow, careful inch at a time.
âOhâJoel!â You cried loudly at the initial stretch, your pretty face scrunching in discomfort. Tightly slamming your eyes shut, sparks flew behind your eyelids when he finally bottomed out. The burning sting in between your thighs was too overwhelming, almost impossible to cope with. He felt so enormous within you, you could have sworn he was in your belly. Another broken cry fell from your lips and he swallowed it with a comforting kiss.
âJesus Christ,â he hissed against your lips, a thin sheen of sweat coating his brow, neck, and chest. He wasnât sure where he found the strength, but he suppressed his urge to thrust. Instead, he dropped his face into the hollow of your neck and waited, giving you the chance to adjust to him. He mumbled against your skin. âDoinâ so good for me, sweet girl. Yâknow that? Youâre doinâ so fuckinâ good for me.â
Even in discomfort, you preened at his praise.
He squeezed your hand, and after a minute, he gave an experimental thrust of his hipsâand then another and another before he ceased his movement once again. He was so big and you were so deliciously full of him.
Eventually, the pain subsided, and you found yourself asking, no, begging for more. âMove.â Your other hand found itself cupping the side of his face, coaxing him to lift his head and allowing your gazes to meet. Your soft, plush thighs parted further to help accommodate the breadth of his hips. âPlease, Joel. I need you to moveâI need you to fuck me.â
Surely, you would be the death of him.
He drew his hips back with cautious, tender care, then advanced in the same manner to fill your precious cunt all over again. He did it over and over, your pleasured moans encouraging him to begin picking up the pace. He drove his cock in and out of your weeping pussy, the slapping of flesh against flesh, the lewd, wet squelch of you around him inspiring him to fuck you harder, faster. And the noises you were making?
There was something oh so beautiful about your cries, sweet raptures of submission as you laid there beneath him, all too graciously taking everything he had to give you like the good, good, good girl you were for him.
âFuckinâ hell, sweetheart,â Joel rasped. âLook at youâlook at the way you take my fuckinâ cock, honey.â
And you did.
Glancing down, your gaze fell between your bodies and you watched in awe, openly marveled at the way Joel slid in and out of your cunt, how he knocked hard so deeply inside of you, driving himself as far as he could possibly go.
âFuck Joel, Iâm gonnaââ You tried warning him as the pressure in your belly neared its peak, but you tumbled over the edge before you even had the chance to finish your sentence. Arching up off off the bed, you pressed your chest against his, your fingers squeezing his own so hard you feared you might break them.
âThatâs it babygirl, let go,â he grunted, speeding up his thrusts. âSqueeze my fuckinâ cockâjust like that. Good girl. My perfect, perfect girl.â
You didnât quite get the chance to let the praise sink in.
Joel pulled himself out of you, and with ease, he flipped you over onto your belly. His hands gripped your hips and pulled them up off the mattress, his fingers moving to firmly knead the fleshiest part of your ass. He leaned over you, the head of his cock nudging at your hole. âYâthink you can handle a little bit more, sweetheart?â he whispered the question into a tumble of messy hair, the delicate scent of the lavender shampoo you used to wash it filling his senses. âAnswer me, little dove.â
âYes,â you replied breathlessly with a nod. âI can.â
With a satisfied hum, Joel sank into you, this second stretch not quite as overwhelming at the first, but still intense. âRelax,â he murmured, hunching further over your quivering back. He pressed a kiss onto the top of your head and then leaned down to brace his hands on either side of you. âNeed you to be sweet for me just a bit longer, okay, baby?â
âGod,â you whimpered when the heaviness of his balls came to rest on your sensitive clit.
It was the second time youâd uttered His name.
Joel almost grinned at the irony. He found his rhythm, groaning in gut-deep satisfaction with each snap of his hipsâeach smooth stroke in and each smooth stroke out.
âOh fuck, sweet girl.â Heaven was indeed a real place, and Joel Miller was buried in it to the hilt, right at this very moment.
He was getting closer and closer.
Maybe it was your eagerness to help him reach his own release mingled with the pride you knew you would feel once you did that gave you a second wind, a fresh, new burst of energy. You planted your hands firmly on his pillow. Rolling your bottom lip between your teeth, you curved your spine and pushed back onto Joel with purpose, meeting his thrusts halfway as you rode his aching length to the satiation that waited for him at the end.
âThereâs my girl,â he rasped. âOh fuckinâ Christââ
No way he could live his life without you now.
He needed you.
He needed you so much more than you needed him.
Joel slipped an arm around your shoulders, across your chest.
âOh!â you gasped as he then yanked you back, pulling you flush against him. The rough crash of your back against his chest, combined with the angle in which he was fucking you knocked the wind out of your lungs.
His lips were at the shell of your ear. âStay,â he panted, his breath hot against your cheekbone. He wrapped his other hand lightly around your throat. Relentless, were his hips nowâhis movements had become frantic. Desperate. âStay with me, baby.â
Even as you fought to catch your breath in the position he had you in, you picked up on the fact that he wasnât asking you of it, nor was he demanding you of it.
He was begging you.
Him, the most feared man in this town. Begging you?
âJoel,â you choked.
âPlease, my little dove,â he pleaded, turning your head towards him. His mouth was then on the corner of your own, his beard roughly scratching the soft and delicate flesh of your cheek. âI need you, babygirl. Stay with me. Please, just fuckinâ stay with me.â
Your hands curled around his wrists. âYes, Iâll stay,â you moaned. âIâm yours, Joel. Iâm all yours. IâIâm not going anywhere. I promise. Iâll stay with you.â
A low, guttural sound rumbled through his chest. Joel firmly took hold of your cross, and without so much as a warning, he ripped the chain from around your neck and tossed it somewhere over his shoulder. He heard it land on the hardwood floor with the tiniest, faint clink the moment he spilled into you, ropes of warm release coating your fluttering walls. Curses and groans spilled from his lips and into your neck. Your cunt clutched at his pulsing cock, greedy for every last drop of his spend she could get. Â
Once you were filled, you both collapsed beside each other on the bed, heaving to catch a steady breath.
âYâokay, sweetheart?â Joel managed to ask, his chest still rising and falling rapidly.
Exhausted, all you could do was nod and utter, âMhm.â
He exhaled an amused huff through his nose. âCâmere.â He reached for you and pulled you against his side. He draped an arm around your shoulders, holding you as close to him as was possible. âYâdid so good, honey.â
Your mouth curled into a small, contented smile.
Several minutes had passed by, and despite telling him that you were too tired to even think about moving, Joel made you get up and use the bathroom, and while you did so, he ran a clean washcloth under warm water. âHere, darlinâ. Let me clean you up,â heâd said, his lips meeting your forehead in a loving token of affection before he sank down onto one knee and ran the damp cloth along the insides of your thighs. He took extreme care when he wiped at your swollen folds, knowing you were still sensitive to the touch. âThere we go. All done, now.â
Not long after, you were both back in his bed, wrapped up in his sheets.
Yawning, you nuzzled into bare his chest, your eyelids feeling heavier and heavier with each and every second that ticked by. Youâd started drifting off when you heard his voice.
âBaby?â
âHmm?â you answered sleepily, eyes still closed.
âDid you mean what you said?â
âMean what, Joel?â
There was a brief pause. âYâknow, when you said youâd stay with me.â
Snuggling closer to him, you mumbled, âMhm. Of course I did.â
âSânot gonna be easy,â Joel murmured into your hair.
âI know.â You yawned. âBut I have you.â
âYou do. Youâve got meâand Iâve got you, babygirl.â
âMm. I know that too, Joel.â
You felt him kiss the top of your head and then fell fast asleep in his arms.
The sun bloomed over the Grand Tetons.
Your father would wake soon, thatâs to say if he wasnât up already.
The nerves began to set in.
Joel must have sensed it. âBreathe, baby. Sâgonna be okay,â he soothed, squeezing your hand.
With one of his warmer, heavier jackets that normally didnât see the light of day until winter season draped around your shoulders, the two of you made your way down the road and towards your house. Or better said, towards your fatherâs house. Because after what you were about to do, that yellow and white cottage would no longer be a place you could call home.
He led you up to the porch. âYâsure you donât want me to go in there with you?â he asked, quietly.
You could have laughed. You almost did.
âDo you believe that to be a wise choice?â
âNo, I reckon it ainât the best idea,â Joel admitted with a sigh, raking his free hand through his unkempt, salt and pepper hair. He looked up at the house, then back at you. âLook, little dove. No matter what happens in there, just know that everythinâ will be alright. Mâgonna take care of you. For the rest of my life, Iâll take care of you. Iâll try my hardest to be everythinâ you need.â
âYou already are, Joel,â you said, your gaze earnest.
His chest swelled with warmth.
Truth be told, Joel didnât know how he had managed to defy the oddsâhow he, of all people, had managed to make his way into that sweet, innocent, beautiful little heart of yours, but somehow he did, and he would not take this responsibility lightly.
He brushed your lips with his and promised, âGonna be waitinâ right here, okay?â
âOkay.â Inhaling deeply, you willed yourself to let go of his hand and took a step back. You then started up the porch steps on wobbling legs. When you made it to the top, you glanced over your shoulder at Joel, who gave you a subtle nod of encouragement. Exhaling slowly, you reached for the knob with trembling fingers and turned it, opening the door. You stepped inside, your heart dropping into your stomach when you saw your father sitting there at the foot of the staircase, as if heâd been waiting for you. He had been waiting for you. Fully dressed, he sat on the second to last step with both hands folded on his bible in his lap, a rosary clutched between them. âPapa?â
He said nothing. Instead, he silently observed youâhis eyes glazed over the menâs jacket and the short dress you wore underneath it, the disheveled, loose hair and kiss swollen lips. Your holy cross nowhere to be seen.
âPapa.â You swallowed harshly and shifted your weight anxiously from the heel of one boot to the other. âWe, umâwe really need to have a talk.â
He peered around you, catching a brief glimpse of the man standing outside, waiting for you at the foot of the porch.
He cleared his throat, lightly. âYes, child. I suppose that we do.â
Nodding tightly, you turned around and slowly closed the door. Joelâs words rang in your mind over and over, giving you the push of strength you knew you would need.
Iâve got you.
divider credit goes to @saradika đ¤
#fic: fall into temptation#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x afab!reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel miller series#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller angst#the last of us fic#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#post outbreak joel
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nsft alphabet [dean winchester] ââ âŽâË
genre: smut, explicit â minors dni! a/n: writing headcanons was easier than a kinktober one shot, oops. enjoy, i'll try to follow up with a sam version soon. and possibly other characters? (i'm feeling like writing one for alec mcdowell tbh) feel free to request any in my inbox! credit & links: alphabet ââăâ
dividers ââăâ
request here taglist: comment a green heart đ to be added to the dean x reader taglist (please note: ageless blogs will only be tagged in fluff and angst posts) @winchester-whiskey @whormotional @spacecowgirl126
A = Aftercare (What theyâre like after sex)
It honestly depends on where you guys are, but generally speaking, he always makes sure youâre okay. If thereâs anything you need, heâll tend to it â which can range from a clean towel to a gentle forehead kiss. Even if youâre technically on the run or have somewhere urgent to be, he at least makes sure youâre both good to go.
Preferably he likes to take his time with you though. The aftermath of sex is one of the rarer opportunities for Dean to be openly sappy and vulnerable. Even with hookups, to some degree at least, the warmth of a loverâs arms is one of the places he can fully relax and he wants them to feel just as comfortable.
That said, he can be a little lazy. He makes sure the necessities of aftercare are fulfilled, always, but donât always expect a luxurious bubble bath and immediately changing the sheets. Oftentimes he just wants to collapse onto bed with you and catch his breath.
Heâs 50% giddy and proud smile â all cocky grins and smug bragging â and 50% sleepy. Your embrace is the closest he can get to experiencing heaven, heâs sure and getting to rest his head against your chest is the best feeling on earth. The sound of your steady heartbeat will definitely lull him to sleep and heâs insistent on cuddling the whole night through.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs)
He has a love-hate relationship with his face. People keep telling him heâs handsome and even call him a pretty boy and sometimes he canât see what they see. Most of the times his face card is a useful tool when it comes to investigation and working his charms. Other times he canât stand looking at his own reflection. But when you compliment him on his freckled nose, his green eyes and long lashes, he definitely takes pride in it.
This particularly applies to his lips. He knows you love how pink and plump they are. And how pretty you think that smile of his is. It gets him anywhere he wants. Plus, the things he can do to you with that mouth, speaking sweet nothings, kissing you all over⌠whatâs not to take pride in?
As for you, heâs a simple man, sometimes bordering on caveman â heâs obsessed with your butt and not shy to let you know. Whenever he gets the chance, his hand is somewhere on or close to your ass.
Your hands too though, not a chance he passes up on to hold it, and heâll be damned if he doesnât think about your hands on him 24/7. If you wear any rings or nail polish, he always notices.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically⌠Iâm a disgusting person)
Loves to ask âWhere do you want it, baby?â but his personal favorite is definitely in your mouth. Not even down your throat, he loves seeing you stick your tongue out for him, all coated in his cum, before you swallow.
Heâs tried tasting his own cum before out of curiosity and had conflicted feelings about it. Heâs even considered changing his diet afterwards, but (unsurprisingly) he got tired of eating so much fruit pretty quickly.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Not really a secret, since itâs literally canon and we all know he loves wearing lacy panties, but yeah. He definitely stole a pair of your underwear before and heâll deny having seen it anywhere if youâd ask.
Since he loves sexting, he definitely has a nude or two of you and after annoying Sam enough to show him how the stupid printer worked, he now keeps his favorite lewd picture of you in his wallet, because why not? Itâs especially useful when you two have to be separated because youâre working on different cases or something of the sort.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what theyâre doing?)
Dean has obviously fucked around a lot (literally), countless of hookups under his belt. He definitely knows what heâs doing and he can be very annoying about it when he boasts.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
You on top of him is his favorite sight. His hands get to grab everywhere and he loves that he can focus on watching his cock slide in and out of you as you ride him.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Sex, for Dean, is fun. Itâs a good time, where you get to enjoy each other and make each other feel amazing. If he canât get a giggle or a smile out of you, he thinks heâs not doing his job right.
However, there are definitely occasions that call for a more serious mood. Such as intimate moments after a rough day, where he and you just want to unwind and feel each other.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Short answer: He keeps his pubic hair trimmed, but not completely shaved.
Long answer: Thereâs other body hair he treats differently. Over the years heâs developed light chest hair, which he sometimes bothers to shave. He keeps his happy trail, as heâs never thought about it. His thighs are somewhat hairy. His body hair sometimes has a little hint of red color mixed into it.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspectâŚ)Â
Unfortunately thereâs little room for the real big romantic settings, such as rose petals and lit candles around the bedroom. With life on the road for the most part, you have to make do with what you have. He tries to make each time as special as possible though, itâs always passionate.
Deanâs a big softie once he lets his guard down, which you manage with ease. Very verbal, huge on saying sweet nothings. Lots of kisses. Definitely likes holding or touching you throughout it all. If possible, not a sheet of paper will fit between you two.
Eye contact is his strong suit. Doesnât matter what position youâre in or what youâre doing, he loves getting lost in your eyes. If you ever avert your gaze or close your eyes, he reminds you to keep them on him.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Dean, as a certified porn addict, beats his meat a lot. His libido is high and he canât always come crawling to you, so he relies on trusty lube and his hand more often than he likes to admit.
Definitely has a fantasy of you walking in on him and lending him a helping hand.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Roleplay! Just the thought of you in a sexy costume gets him hard. Youâd make him the happiest man alive if you greeted him in a nurse costume. Heâd also be into a police officer costume, handcuffs included. Itâs fun and it allows you two to play pretend for a bit.
Praise, both ways. Heâs always gushing about how good you are, how amazing you feel, how pretty you look while youâre fucking. In return, he loves getting praised by you. Nothing fuels him more than pleasing you and heâs so eager for those compliments.
Food play, to some degree. He loves seeing your pretty mouth stuffed, lips wrapped around a sweet treat in seductive fashion. Or when he gets to lick whipped cream from your skin? Again, playful and fun.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
His favorite location for sex remains a bed (bedroom, motel, heâs not too picky in that regard), because there he can take his time with you.
Of course making sweet love to you in the backseat of his car is always an option, too. The way the Impala's windows fog up is addictive for him.
That said, he wonât say no to other options. Not an inch of the bunker has not been defiled by the two of you. Shower, kitchen, the table in the main hall, the library, even Samâs room while he was out. You name it, heâs fucked you there at least once.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Dean Winchesterâs mind runs dirty at the smallest things. It doesnât take much to pop the idea into his head that he wants to bend you over the nearest furniture or pin you against the nearest wall to have his way with you.
When youâre in a grumpier mood â that might sound shitty, but hear me out: He loves your gruffier, feisty side, because it makes him wish he could make that tension in your shoulders melt under his touch. He wants to kiss that scowl away and make you see stars until you forget about why you were even mad in the first place. You are hot. You being angry is even hotter, and itâs like a challenge for him to do something about it. Plus, you could always take it out on him, dominate the shit out of him until youâre no longer pent up and frustrated.
What never fails to drive him absolutely crazy is you wearing his clothes. You in his shirt or jacket makes his heartbeat skyrocket and his dick rock hard. It awakens something primal and possessive within him.
N = NO (Something they wouldnât do, turn offs)
A hard no for him would be anything involving causing you (intense) pain. Iâd go as far and say heâd not even be into spanking, unless itâs like a playful slap on your ass. Heâs not even a fan of choking or biting you. He hates seeing you hurt and if things get too intense, itâll only trigger memories of him being forced to torture others in hell. There's already enough blood and guilt on his hands.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Hear me out when I say earlier seasons Dean goes weak in the knees when you suck him off. Nothing more of an ego boost than you drooling over his cock.
Later seasons Dean though? He likes to give head like a starved man. Getting you off is a huge turn on for him and admittedly, you riding his face is a high that he canât compare to anything else. Heâll use every part of his mouth, lips, tongue, teeth until your legs give out and he has to hold you against him.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
It depends on the mood. He can do both, but he prefers slow and sensual. Dean loves taking his sweet time with you, worshiping every inch of your body. He wants to cherish the moment and really commit every detail to memory.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Again, proper and passionate sex is his preferred way to go. But even then he has a high sex drive and more often than not, you donât have much time for anything but a quickie. Most of the time, actual proper sex is a luxury, so you make do with what you can.
If you two have to rush it, you might as well have fun with it: Itâs turned into a challenge of how quickly he can make you come undone on his cock versus how long itâll take for you to make him orgasm.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Leaning towards no. Referring back to the fact that he doesnât like hurting you, he also doesnât like putting you into danger. Safety comes first, otherwise itâs not enjoyable for him.
On the flipside, heâs experimental when it comes to new things. You wanna try out a new kink? Sure! He wonât say no to spicing up your sex life. Just nothing involving potential damage.
He definitely is risky when it comes to public spaces. Likes to steal touches, sometimes subtle, sometimes not so much. The thrill of potentially getting caught red handed with his fingers between your legs under the table? Fuck, yes.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they lastâŚ)
Heâs not done until you are.
Lasts an average time, but that doesnât mean he canât go for a round two. Or three. Or more, you get the idea. Unless the situation calls for anything out of the order, he makes sure to be gentleman enough to make you cum first.Â
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Handcuffs for him, or anything to tie him up with, you can get creative, so long as you tease him until heâs a whimpering mess unable to touch you.
Once you pulled out a butt plug and initially he thought it was for you, but, oh, was he wrong. Since then it has turned into a regular part of your bedtime activities.
Heâs not one to get jealous of a toy, so if you want to use anything to rile yourself up further, he sees it as an aid more than a competition. Plus, thereâs something insanely arousing about seeing you play with yourself, whether it is with the help of a toy or not.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
More than anything he enjoys being on the receiving end of teasing. You can make him beg so prettily.
However, thatâs during the sex itself. When it comes to working you up beforehand, heâs a master. Teasing touches, sultry words, dangerous spark in his eyes and a cheeky grin? Heâs bold and heâs not afraid to bite off more than he can chew.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
If you want him to be, he can be so damn vocal. Big on the whimpering department if you dominate him. And, again, just as enthusiastic regarding sweet praise and dirty talk.
Other than that, heâs usually all heavy panting and grunting. Not so much moaning and screaming, thatâs what he tries to make you do.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
He knows itâs clichĂŠ, but he likes to turn on the record player when he has sex. Playing some music during the hanky panky makes the whole experience even better. His playlist, of course, consists mostly of classic rock, but heâs genuinely picked the more romantic songs. Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, Fool in the Rain by Led Zeppelin, Love in an Elevator by Aerosmith⌠you get the idea. After an especially passionate night to a whole LP of Led Zeppelin, he couldnât help but flinch and turn bright red when the same songs started playing in his car the next day. Dean also made a mixtape just for the occasion as a gift for you.
X = X-Ray (Letâs see whatâs going on in those pants, picture or words)
A good six and a half inches, about seven when heâs hard, in size and definitely on the thicker side in girth.
Itâs smooth minus that one prominent vein on the underside.
Pink tip that turns even brighter when heâs aroused.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He broke the scale, Dean is one horny bastard.
Heâs either going to town on you, much to the dismay of anyone else in the bunker, or heâs pent up most of the time.
Z = ZZZ (⌠how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
After making sure youâre okay and putting in some effort to clean up (at least a little), heâs out like a light. Dean is a light sleeper, but the blissfully exhausted state he finds himself in after exerting himself makes him clock out. It takes everything from him to not just collapse on top of you and say hello to dreamland sometimes.
#supernatural headcanons#dean winchester headcanons#dean winchester x reader#dean x reader#dean winchester x you#dean x you#dean x y/n#dean winchester x y/n#supernatural x reader#supernatural x y/n#supernatural x you#spn x reader#spn x you#spn x y/n#spn headcanons#dean smut#spnhc#spnsmut#chevroletdean writes
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Hold You Tight: Part 10
Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 9 | Series Masterlist | Part 11
Chapter Summary: You're determined to have a good day today.
Chapter Word Count: Almost 4.4k
Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, tension, mild dirty talk, unease, possessiveness, inner turmoil, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight and thank you for your patience! Hope you lovelies continue to enjoy. Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . â¤ď¸ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
The next day you cautiously looked around your bedroom as you opened your eyes. You expected to find Bucky in bed beside you since you wouldnât have put it past him to sneak back into your place once you fell asleep. It was a relief to find yourself alone. It also surprised you that you slept so soundly, but the night before had mentally worn you out. Bucky and his crew were a lot to handle.
If you truly accepted that you were going to be Buckyâs girl, youâd have to get used to them.
âNo,â you whispered. You werenât going to accept it. Not today. Bucky may have taken a few hits at your inner armor, but youâd repair it. You couldnât give in. But last night, thinking of asking him for your own space at his place, he was luring you in his direction. You had to tread carefully and not lose your resolve.
You got out of bed and went to retrieve the necklace that Bucky gifted you on your first âdateâ. The diamonds sparkled and reflected the light as you admired them. Beautiful, lavish, something you could easily lose if you werenât careful. A gift for a pretty doll. Not for someone like you.
âJust buy me a collar and show the world that you own me,â you muttered.
Grabbing your phone, there were no new texts or calls from Bucky. You werenât sure if that was a good or bad thing, but youâd take it as a small win that he hadnât blown up your phone. Smiling to yourself, maybe you could have another small win today. An opportunity.
âHey! I know itâs short notice, but are you free Saturday? Maybe we can do a small girls' day outside of the city if you arenât busy with wedding prep.â You sent to Addison. âAnd I canât wait to hear about The Terrace.â
It didnât matter to you that Bucky had some sort of power in various parts of the city, more than you could possibly imagine. You were still your own woman and you wanted to spend time with your friends. After he had a hand in messing up your night with Addison, he owed you that. And the best part? If you went outside of the city, it meant you could have fun at a place he couldnât touch.
Right?
âThe Terrace was AMAZING! I canât wait to tell you all about it. And are we sharing a brain? I was just getting ready to text you! How about The Winery at Hunterâs Cove? Itâll be fun!â Addison sent back.
You frowned at your phone. The Winery at Hunterâs Cove was beautiful and the perfect place to relax with a drink and good company. Reading that shouldâve filled you with joy, but your shackles rose up. It didnât feel right. Did Bucky or Nick or someone have anything to do with that?
After a second, you laughed. Your nerves were continuing to get the better of you. It wasnât as if you could go the rest of your life with second guessing everything. It would drive you crazy.
âJust give me a time and place to meet and Iâll be there. Canât wait!â
A bright smile on your face, you got ready for the day with a spring in your step. A spark of optimism lit within you and you let it spread as you set out your work clothes. You even sang to yourself in the shower and drew a smiley face in the fogged up mirror before you dressed yourself. It was going to be a great day.
âIâm walking on sunshine. Whoa-oh,â you sang as you opened the front door.
âAnd donât it feel good,â you heard from the hallway.
âShit!â Your heart pounded as Bucky stood there with an amused smile on his face. How long was he waiting there? Did he know you were leaving right now? âBucky, what are you doing here?â
God forbid the man give you even half a day to breathe.
âI know I said Iâd try to meet you for lunch, but I couldnât wait. I thought itâd be nice to take you to work instead,â he said, his eyes still sparkling as he moved closer. An impeccable suit like always, but today he wore an aqua shirt. He was really leaning into the shirts that enhanced his eyes. âYouâre in a chipper mood. Thatâs nice to see.â
You were in a bit of a chipper mood until now. No, you wouldnât let him showing up put a damper on things. âJust determined to have a good day,â you explained, looking at his arm before you took it. âIâm actually glad youâre here,â you added. You did have to talk to him about Saturday and, well, whatever the future would bring.
âYeah? Iâm glad Iâm here, too.â His eyes lit up as he glanced at you. He looked over the moon and you had to sweep your gaze down to avoid his stare. âIs it bad if I admit I stayed up way too late staring at your photo?â He smiled, leaning in like he was telling you a secret.
If you had to guess, he likely jerked off to your picture. How long would that keep him satisfied? His control had to be diminishing. âA picture of me is hardly a reason to lose any sleep.â
âWorth every second of lost sleep. I definitely need more pictures.â Your stomach dropped when his smile widened. âYou know, the more I think about it, I kind of want to replace that painting in my office. Maybe it could be a photo of us or even just you? Or Steve could paint us! I know heâd love that.â
Guilt brewed within you since he sounded so enthusiastic and you would likely crush that mood, but you pushed that feeling aside. There was no reason for you to feel bad in the least. âSo, Iâm going out with my girlfriends on Saturday. Somewhere outside of the city,â you blurted out to change the subject, staring at the elevator door when the smile slipped off his face.
You were suddenly terrified of his reaction and you were about to step into a very small space with him. There would be no hiding. So much for treading carefully, but it was better in this case to just rip the bandaid off.
Buckyâs stare was almost impassive as you went into the elevator, which had your heart speeding up. âYouâre going outside of the city?â His voice was soft, but had an edge that threatened to cut through you like a knife. âWithout me?â
âItâs just a short girls trip. A bit of time with my friends. You understand, right?â Your voice cracked, your body tight with tension. âYou and I didnât have any plans, so maybe you can hang out with the guys.â
âI donât want to hang out with them. I see them all the time,â he said, bringing his lips to your ear with a shaky breath. âI want to be with you.â
The air thickened, the elevator feeling smaller than usual as you considered his words. He didnât sound upset that you wanted to go, but because you wanted to go without him. Sympathizing with his loneliness wouldnât help your case, not when he manipulated things in his favor.
âI know this may not be easy, but you need to accept that I have friends, Bucky. That I had a life before you⌠showed up. It wasnât much, but it was mine,â you said, not daring to turn your head and risk his lips touching yours. âItâs good for us to have things outside of each other. And may I remind you what you said on our first date? You said you wouldnât stop me from spending time with my friends or having hobbies.â
Bucky almost seemed to need you and no one had ever needed you before. But he couldnât completely depend on you for whatever it was he needed either. Relying on you too heavily wasnât healthy. It wouldnât just smother you, it would eventually destroy you both.
âI remember,â he said, his voice barely audible. âI just donât know if itâs safe for you to be so far away from me for the time being. I think Iâve said I donât even like you being in this building because my place is safer than yours. And if I havenât, Iâm telling you now.â
Worry crept into your face as you inched away a bit and faced him. âWhy wouldnât I be safe going out with my friends?â
His blue eyes narrowed, but there was no annoyance there. âKotyonok, you may be innocent in some ways, but you arenât naive or that forgetful. I told you last night that you need people looking out for you if youâre with me,â he said, your stomach sinking more. He was right. âAnd you must be aware that I have my hand in things outside of the club. Youâve seen some of the company I keep. Do you think everything we have was earned through honest, hard work?â
The men Bucky surrounded himself with lived in the gray. You couldnât ignore obvious signs, like how Marc reacted to hearing his name. Bucky even treated your courting that way, breaking in and intimidating you. âItâs none of my business,â you said. The more you knew, the harder it would be to get away. âI havenât even looked for anything about you online.â
âThe harsh reality is that itâs going to become your business, at least it will to a certain extent. I canât leave you in the dark, but I donât want you fully exposed.â He sighed, suddenly looking tired. If you didnât know any better, youâd say there was a hint of regret there. It disappeared quickly. âAs far as looking online, you probably wouldnât find much. We work hard to keep it that way. I donât even have social media. Though if I did, it might just be photos of you and the two of us together.â
âSo, you donât want me to go out of the city for my safety?â You asked, stepping off the elevator. You wanted to believe that was his twisted reason for having you move in so soon and not because he wanted you close for his own selfish desires. Wasnât it selfish though for dragging you into his world without so much as a warning or giving you a choice? âDo you really think people outside of your circle know weâre âtogetherâ yet? You said it yourself, you donât have social media and it isnât like Iâve been in your life for that long.â
âAs far as I know, no one is aware,â he said slowly. After what he did to John for merely insulting you, you prayed no one would be stupid enough to cross your path and try to cause you hurt or harm. âBut I donât know if I want to take the risk.â
âYou wouldnât be taking the risk. I would. And it isn't fair that youâd expect me to put my life on pause,â you argued, seeing Ray standing outside of the car. How the hell did they get a spot right in front of the building? âRay, would you kindly tell your boss that I should go out with my friends on Saturday? Please?â You cut him a pleading look, needing this.
Ray blinked twice. âIâd rather not get involved in that quarrel,â he said, looking at his boss. âBut perhaps if she really does want to go and youâre unable to accompany her, boss, someone could discreetly keep an eye on her.â
âYes! Thatâs a great idea. Thank you, Ray,â you smiled before Bucky could interject. You wouldnât normally agree to someone hovering nearby, but right now you could kiss Ray for the suggestion. âSee? I get time with my friends and you donât have to worry about my safety. Problem solved.â You even flashed him a soft smile for good measure.
You werenât sure if it was your smile, the stare from his bodyguard, or the combination that made Bucky nod, but your heart soared. âI guess Iâll have to see if someone is free.â He let out a humorless laugh and raked a hand through his hair as Ray looked at his feet. âUsing one of my men to sway me? Youâre playing dirty. Iâm impressed.â
âOr maybe Iâm just learning how to play your game,â you said, ducking into the car with Bucky right behind you. The happy feeling was back in full force. Had Bucky not agreed, you wouldâve been defiant and gone anyway. Who knew how that wouldâve gone? This was a better compromise. For now.
âRay really does have a soft spot for you,â Bucky said once the door was shut, taking your hand. âIt would worry me if he wasnât so loyal.â
âWorry about what exactly?â You asked.
âHim trying to get you away from me.â He smiled a bit, making you shift in your seat. Did he know you had tried to get Ray on your side? âBut he isnât a man to typically let his emotions drive him. Heâs loyal.â
âHe wonât try to get me away from you, Bucky. He knows youâre happier because Iâm in your life and wouldnât risk changing that,â you said, thinking back on your conversation with Ray. It wasnât like you wanted to assure Bucky that you two would be together, but you also didnât want his bodyguard on the manâs bad side indirectly because of you. Not when he watched out for you. âMaybe he isnât a man driven by emotions, but I think he does care about your emotions.â
âMaybe,â he smiled softly as he kissed your hand, making you gasp when he gently nipped one of your knuckles. âThereâs something else you want to say. I can feel it.â
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself. âIf I move in with you, I need my own space.â
He looked surprised. Not entirely, but there was still a flicker there. âSo, youâve accepted that youâre moving in with me. Iâm glad to hear that.â
âI said âifâ, Bucky.â You had to emphasize that. âIâm not saying itâs going to happen, but you do need to give me some leeway if it does.â
His tone was calm, dare you say serene, when he asked, âAnd what exactly would your own space entail?â
âAn area for me. Not for you, Ray, or anyone else. Just me,â you said. Nothing in your life felt sacred anymore. You needed your own sort of safe haven and a place to relax, even if it was in the prison he helped create. âThatâs important to me and I wonât budge on that.â
âOkay. A space just for you if thatâs what you want. I won't let anyone go in there,â he promised.
Your gaze was skeptical. Why was he being so agreeable? Well, agreeable to a point. âThat would be really nice,â you said, your eyes shifting from suspicion to gratitude.
âBut as far as sleeping arrangements, I want you in bed with me,â he said, his voice raspier as his gaze went to your legs. âItâs a shame you have to cover yourself up for work, but Iâm looking forward to helping you out of your clothes. I wonder if the smell of those petals seeps through the fabric. I canât wait to find out.â
âBucky,â you whispered, his gaze telling you to part your thighs. You didnât, even when he sighed.
âSorry. I shouldnât get us worked up and make you late for work,â he said, sounding anything but sorry before he reached for something beside him. At least he didn't push it further. âBefore I forget.â
âWhatâs this?â You asked as he handed you a book.
âThe one from the shop yesterday. You left it here last night.â
âOh.â You were so eager to get out of the car that you had left it behind. There was also a small stack of books on the other seat you hadnât noticed before. âAnd what are those?â
âI went back to the shop and got more from that same author,â he smiled, brushing his knuckles over your cheek. âYou seemed to like the book you were reading and I donât recall seeing any of those books at your place.â
The gesture took you by surprise. âHow? The shop opens later and was closed by the time you brought me back last night.â
âThey were kind enough to open a little earlier than usual for me,â he said.
You ran your hand over the spine and smiled before you could stop yourself. It was the kind of gift you wished for, books to line your shelf. âYou didn't have to do that,â you said when you caught him staring. âBut thank you.â
âYou have such a beautiful smile,â he whispered, brushing his hand over your cheek again before he took out his phone. âAnd you just inspired me.â
âHow did I do that?â You questioned, watching him quickly type a message. âAnd should I be scared?â
âI canât spoil the surprise,â he winked, typing a bit more. âBut I do have a plan and I think youâre going to like it.â
âWeâll see about that,â you said, your mind drifting to work. âIâm curious. You mentioned that the last flower your dad gave to your mom was a black dahlia. Was that her favorite flower?â
He paused before he put his phone away. âNo. She loved alstroemerias.â
âThe Peruvian Lily. Those are beautiful,â you smiled. His smile didnât reach his eyes. âThatâs one of the flowers I like to donate to the hospital because they have no fragrance, but still brighten up the room.â
âI know.â He swallowed, a shine in his eyes before he blinked a few times. âYellow ones.â
Your eyes snapped to his face. âI donate a lot of flowers. Itâs oddly specific that you know I donate yellow alstroemerias.â
âI told you I did my research on you,â he whispered.
âSo, what? You got⌠hospital footage or something of me?â You felt your blood boil. How many boundaries did he cross, rules did he break? âI saw the look you gave Thor. You didn't want him to mention that, did you?â
His gloved hand curled a bit. âHe was complimenting you, but I wasn't ready for that conversation. At least, not last night.â
âWhy not?â You asked. Why did it matter?
âBecause you already think Iâm crazy,â he said. You didnât deny that. âAnd what I tell you, you may either agree with me that fate brought you into my club and life or that I really am crazy.â
âI donât know what that means,â you said. The grave look in his blue eyes gave you pause. The fond gazes and even the heated, intense ones, you were almost used to them. Sadness? That was something else.
âYouâll find out soon enough.â He nodded toward the window. âYou should head into work.â
You didnât realize the car stopped. Work would be a good distraction anyway. âIâll get the books later.â
âAnd Iâll walk you to the door,â he offered.
Helping you out of the car like he did every other time, he guided you toward the flower shop with a possessive touch. âYou know, you havenât asked where Iâm going on Saturday.â
âIâm sure Iâll get it out of you, especially if one of my men needs to be nearby. Maybe I can buy you a new outfit to wear,â he said, tracing a finger along your neck. âOr maybe a collar to show off while you tell your friends all about me.â
âA collar.â Your body went rigid, remembering what you muttered in your bedroom. âWhy would youâŚâ
âMaybe Iâll see you at lunch? Iâd love to look around the shop.â He pressed a kiss to your forehead. âHave a good day and be good,â he added, opening the door and giving you a pat on your ass before you went inside.
You looked over your shoulder as he went back to the car. The first thing you were going to do when you got home was tear your place apart from hidden microphones or cameras. You shouldâve done that the second he broke into your place. You live and you learn.
âAnd who is that handsome young man?â Mrs. Crandle asked from behind the counter.
You smiled as you turned toward your boss and the owner of the shop, one of the kindest people you had ever met. It was a good sign that she didnât recognize Bucky. âSomeone who thinks heâs my boyfriend,â you teased a little. You couldnât burden her with the whole truth.
She raised an eyebrow. âOh?â She knew you hadnât dated in ages. âAnd what do you think?â
âI think heâs very determined to win me over,â you said, going to put your bag away.
âLet him!â She called after you.
âMaybe!â You called back.
As you went about your tasks, you pondered on what Bucky had to tell you and the anniversary Marc mentioned. It had to do with Buckyâs mom, it had to, but what did that have to do with you? Not every customer became registered in the system, but your team did a great job of keeping order history for deliveries, parties, and more. Nothing came up when you searched âBarnesâ.
You tapped your finger against the keyboard before you straightened up. Hospital donations likely wouldnât have a name saved since you werenât usually given the patient names. You did, however, keep track of the dates. If you knew the range to checkâŚ
âExcuse me?â A deep timbre pulled your attention away.
You glanced up to find one of your regular customers towering over the counter. Blue eyes crinkled behind his glasses when he smiled, his dark curls adding to his boyish charm. For such a large and imposing man, he kept his shoulders hunched and voice gentle. Like he was trying to make himself look friendlier. âClark, hi. Sorry about that,â you said, closing out your search screen. Mrs. Crandle was back in her office and you wouldnât make her help him. âHow are you today? A dozen red roses, right?â
Clark usually showed up once a month to get a dozen roses for his girlfriend. No more, no less. But the mention of his usual order made his smile disappear. âActually, I donât think Iâll be needing those today.â He took off his glasses to clean them when you set out the bouquet, though there wasnât a spec of dirt on the lenses. âI, um⌠Well, Iâm not in a relationship anymore. We broke up a couple of weeks ago.â
âOh. Iâm so sorry.â You felt terrible, especially since you werenât sure what to say. It wasnât your business regarding why things ended, but he always seemed so happy when he purchased the roses. âAre you okay?â
He put his glasses back on, his eyes holding a weight of sadness. âIâm sorry, too. And Iâm not sure if Iâm okay. Everything seemed fine and then it fell apart.â He sighed, looking around the shop. âIâm not even sure why I came here today.â
You felt for him. You really did. âWell, it couldâve been part of your monthly routine and you went on autopilot? Or you wanted to go somewhere familiar?â You suggested, looking around, too. âOr maybe you thought the bright atmosphere would help?â
He nodded after a moment. âIt could be any of those things.â Scratching the back of his neck, he sadly chuckled. âItâs just an empty feeling being alone again, you know?â
âI do know. Emptiness can weigh a lot and itâs very lonely to walk alone. But that walk, no matter how long or short, makes us stronger. It gives us a chance to grow until we find someone to walk with us again. And when that happens, things will look much brighter.â You said, your heart heavy as you selected a couple of roses from the bouquet. âIâm sorry. You didnât ask for my input and thatâs probably the last thing you want to hear.â
âNo, thatâs⌠Thank you. Youâve always been really kind. Insightful.â He glanced down as you put the roses in his hand, his large hand closing around the stems. âWhat are these for?â
âIâm happy to help,â you smiled. âTheyâre for you. No charge.â
He gazed at you before he placed them back in your hand. âYou take them.â
You werenât sure why the gesture made you feel uncomfortable, but it did. Maybe it was because he was fresh out of a relationship. âOh, no. I couldnât. Iâm surrounded by flowers,â you said, gesturing with your free hand. âYou keep them. Or you could always give them a neighbor or someone who needs cheering up.â
âYou sure you donât want them?â He asked when you passed them back again. You pulled your hand away quickly, refusing to let it linger. âYou really have been so kind to me whenever Iâve stopped in.â
âWell, youâre a great customer.â You also didnât want to have to explain to Bucky that a customer tried to give you flowers. âTake them. I insist.â
Flashing you a warm smile, he relented. âThanks,â he said, hesitating when he went to turn away. âMaybe Iâll see you around sometime?â
âIâm sure youâll see me at the shop,â you said carefully. Unease filled you, which didnât make sense. Clark was a regular customer who wanted nothing to do with you. But if he did have some sort of intention, you werenât about to lead him on. âI hope things look up.â
Clark hesitated again before he pushed his glasses up and headed out of the shop without another word. You swallowed, staring at the remaining roses as if they would tell you what to do next. For now, youâd have to brace yourself for Bucky stopping by for lunch. And maybe youâd ask him if there were any devices hidden around your place and save you the trouble of tearing the rooms apart.
Though you had a feeling you werenât going to like the answer.
Awful nice of Ray to suggest some leeway, wasn't it? Is Clark going to be a problem? What's Bucky going to think? Love and thanks for reading! â¤ď¸
Masterlist â Bucky Barnes Masterlist â Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes#club owner!bucky barnes#club owner!bucky barnes x reader#soft!dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes au#james buchanan barnes#sebastian stan#bucky fic#sebastian stan x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x female reader#the winter soldier#x reader#turn it up au#hold you tight#bucky fanfic
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Confession | Kinktober
Priest Geto Suguru x AFAB Reader
Warnings: religion, sacrilege, fucking a priest, blow jobs, finger fucking, explicit language, squirting, pet names, mild gaslighting
A/N: Day three is here! This one may be offensive to anyone who is religious so please proceed with caution.
WORD COUNT: 3.6K
âTell me, what have you come here for?â You squirmed a bit against the uncomfortable wooden chair. The box itself was pretty dim, only a small, uncovered lightbulb was illuminating the musty space. Through a mesh window on your left, the man spoke with a gentle tone. âIâve come to confess my sins to you, father.â You couldnât calm your racing heart, hands twisting tightly together as you mentally prepare yourself to receive his blessings. âIs that so? Please, my dear, tell me the things that haunt you.â Again, his tone was enough to make you shudder. Although it was gentle, it sparked something warm deep within your gut.Â
âYou see, father, Iâve been a terribly naughty girl.â You swallowed, eyes shutting slowly as you tried to focus on your own words. âGo on.â This time it was a little less gentle, a little more gruff. It made warmth flood your cheeks, your eyes blinking open in surprise. You knew what the priest looked like, having attended some of his masses before. You knew he was a devastatingly attractive man, one around your age, and one unfortunately sworn to celibacy. That, however, didnât make you want him any less. âFather Suguru, Iâve done things I shouldnât have⌠to myself.â You spoke in a low tone, listening to him hum softly before asking âLike what? What have you done to yourself?â he took the bait, your heart hammering in your chest.Â
âI've touched myself, for my own pleasure.â You held your breath, vaguely certain that Father Suguru did too. After a moment of your confession hanging in the air, he spoke up. âOh? How many times have you committed this sin?â his tone wasnât as gentle now, rather it held a level of strain to it. You could hear him shifting in his seat on the other side of the small confessional wall. âMany times, father. Iâve lost count⌠which is why Iâve come to you. I want to be cleansed of my filthy acts, only your generous mercy can free my tainted soul.â You stroked his ego with each word, a devious grin plastering to your lips as you heard him clear his throat.Â
âSweet girl, by his grace I can cleanse you. But for it to truly work, Iâm going to need you to be a little more specific. Tell me how you committed this act, recall one of the moments for me.â you could have choked on the little saliva that was in your mouth, heat pooling deep down as you recalled the last time you masturbated. âOh well, last night IâŚâ You stopped when you heard him inhale sharply, your teeth sinking into the side of your cheek before you asked âFather Suguru, are you alright?â You tried to sound innocent, praying your smirk wasnât evident in your tone. âI-Iâm alright, I was just taken by surprise. I didnât think youâd be so bold as to touch yourself the night before coming to see me. But by all meansâŚâ his tone was mildly condescending â... go on.âÂ
Your thighs pressed together, alleviating the mild ache just a bit. You hadnât even gotten into the details with him, yet you could feel your own arousal dampening your underwear. âWell, you see, I was laying in my bed all alone. I got bored, my mind wandered and I started to think about such sinful things, Father. They got the better of me and I found myself kicking off the sheets and using my hands to toy with my breasts.â You swallowed, one hand coming up to hold your breast as you spoke, as if needing a physical reminder for all the things you had done. âA-and that wasnât enough. I felt so achy down there that I couldnât help taking my panties off and spreading my legsâŚâ You stopped again, letting it hang in the air as you tried to compose yourself.Â
Beyond the confessional wall, Father Suguru was gritting his teeth, trying desperately to even his breathing as his cock started to strain against his pants. He wasnât supposed to know who was sitting beside him, but your voice was recognizable. What a sinful girl you were, always attending his masses in such short sundresses. Your smile was addicting, just like the way your hips swayed as you walked up to him to chat after the mass was done. The thoughts you made him think, the things you made him feel⌠you must have been a temptation sent by the devil. But god dammit, it turns out he was a weak, weak man. He couldnât resist the temptation of you for much longer he feared. Especially now. âAnd then what did you do?â he breathed out, quieter.Â
âFather, is this really necessary?â you feigned innocence again, all the while you were slowly parting your legs. âY-yes, go on. For your sins to be properly forgiven, you must tell me in detail.â You could hear his voice straining again, threatening to crack if you asked him something else. âAlright thenâŚâ you sighed, legs spreading enough for your hand to slip down and press on your aching cunt. You nearly whimpered, swallowing the noise by clearing your throat. âI used my hand to reach down there and play with myself.â You admitted with warm cheeks, the heat radiating from where your fingers were pressing was enough to make you squirm, the old wooden chair creaking as your hips swivelled. Father Suguru was losing the battle, hand shakily holding his fully erect length and squeezing it roughly in hopes of helping the ache.Â
âAnd?â he said again, as if working on autopilot. âI played with my pussy until I climaxed.â you stated boldly, using two fingers to press directly over your aching clit. You heard it loud and clear now, a deep rumbling groan from the priest beside you. âYou know, such a sinful act needs more of a demonstration.â he spoke with a surprisingly level tone, letting go of his aching bulge to stand. You, on the other hand, had frozen in your seat. âA-a demonstration? Father Suguru, I just bore my soul to you by explaining verbally.â But you heard him click his tongue, âNonsense girl, youâve yet to bare your soul to me in any capacity.â You pushed your dress down, hand resting on your lap instead of your cunt as you straightened, Through the mesh window, you could see he was standing. âAn intervention for a tainted soul like yours needs to happen face to face.âÂ
You couldnât help but gasp, watching through the window as he pushed the door to the confessional open and stepped out. A moment later you were standing, shamelessly pushing the door open to stand in front of the clearly worked up priest. âFather SuguruâŚâ you started innocently yet again, as if you werenât the direct cause of his raging erection. His jaw was clenched tight, his hair out of its uniform bun and instead styled in a half up half down look. It only made you want him more, especially with the way his tanned cheeks were flushed red. His pupils were swallowing the pretty brown of his eyes, his fingers were tugging at the tight collar of his black clergy top. Your eyes zeroed in on the bulge in his pants before trailing back up.Â
âYou need to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness.â You blinked, eyes roaming the empty pews of the cathedralâs main room. His voice was echoing, sending a shiver down your spine as stain glass windows looked back at you. âFather Suguru IâŚâ you swallowed, truly not anticipating the priest to go as far as he was. You hadnât gotten this far in your daydreams, because you always convinced yourself the holy man wouldnât give into temptation. Yet, you were taking a step forward, dropping to your knees before him on the cold marble floor. You felt like you should be ashamed of what you were about to do, not only in front of an altar, but with a priest⌠a man who swore his life to this work.Â
âDonât speak.â he commanded slowly, fixing you in place with a hard stare. Your lips closed again, any sort of reason leaving your mind as he started undoing his belt with one hand. The other came down to tuck some hair behind your ear, the motion far too gentle for the flames burning in his gaze. âBe a good girl for me, open your mouth and stick out your tongue.â You obeyed, Suguruâs eyes watched with dilated pupils as your pretty lips parted and your tongue appeared. He breathed out through his nose, leaning over you a little as his belt came undone. You flinched as he spit, saliva landing perfectly in your mouth. âSwallow it, sweet girl.â you did, eyes locking with his as you swallowed the contents in your mouth.
âYou must really want forgiveness.â He mused, quickly undoing the button and zipper of his black slacks. You nodded slowly, being mindful to remain quiet just as he had asked. âSurely, this is your ticket to salvation.â You held in a gasp as Suguru pulled out his cock. It was certainly bigger than you had anticipated, tanned and long with pretty veins running up the sides. âFather Suguru⌠pleaseâŚâ you rasped, mouth watering at the sight of his pretty cock. âAtta girl, beg for your forgiveness, you can speak now.â Your lips parted, eyes trained on the oozing tip as Suguru wrapped his hand around the middle of his shaft. He was taunting you with it, moving it side to side just to watch your eyes follow it wherever it went.
âF-father Suguru I⌠I want to be forgiven for my sins⌠I want you to cleanse my soul with your gracious hands⌠Father Suguru pleaseâŚâ you begged him, breathing turning laboured as you waited for him to stop the torture and give you what you wanted. Suguru held his breath for a moment, heart racing as each syllable fell from your lips. âPlease⌠god please.â you were breathless, eyes watering as you looked up at him. âYesâŚâ Suguru whispered, squeezing his length tightly before taking a half step forward. He was in mouthâs reach now, making your hips wiggle as your lips parted for him. âPleaseâŚâ you said again, shivering as his second whisper of yes reached your ears. You took initiative now that he gave you his permission.Â
You kept your hands folded nearly on your lap, only using your mouth to take him. With Suguruâs guidance, the weeping head of his cock was slipping between your lips. You inhaled through your nose, jaw struggling to open wide enough to accommodate him as you pushed your head further down his length. You were determined to take the priestâs entire cock, you wanted to hear his pretty moans bouncing off the walls of the cathedral. You locked eyes with him, swallowing around him just to see his eyes nearly roll back. You had to wonder if this was the first time he had ever gotten head, maybe this would be the first time he ever got to touch a woman. The idea of the priest above you being a virgin made your cunt clench around nothing.Â
Suguruâs lips were parted, letting go of his cock as you began to bob your head, hands obediently on your lap. âSuch a good girl⌠such a good girl⌠so so goodâŚâ be babbled softly, hands coming to cup your cheeks and guide you as his cock slipped in and out of the wet cavern of your mouth. You got off on his praise, fingers itching to sink between your thighs and toy with your clit just as you had described to father Suguru moments earlier. âSo good, youâre such a good girl for not touching yourself yet. Surely youâll be forgivenâŚâ he groaned, head tilting back as your nose brushed the dark mess of hair at the base of his cock before you pulled back again. Each pass over your tongue, each time your throat constricted around him, it was enough to send him into a blissful state of euphoria. It was enough to make him question his beliefs.Â
Your mouth was too preoccupied to ask, but you desperately wanted to touch his balls. They were sitting there, taunting you, growing shiny as your saliva cascaded down his shaft. You moved one hand, eyes still locked on his neck and chin since he was tilting his head back, to test the waters. Suguru didnât seem to notice as your fingers danced up his thigh, tongue still lavashing him as your head moved back and forth in a steady rhythm. You hesitated for only a moment before gingerly cupping him, watching as his head shot forward to look down at you with a shocked expression. They were warm and heavy with his cum, tightening as you massaged them between your fingers. âOh⌠good girlâŚâ he said again, voice a little more broken than before as he uttered the same praise for you.Â
The repetitiveness of it wasnât an issue for you, if anything it got you going more. Every time he uttered the phrase, you felt yourself grow wetter, you were certain your panties were absolutely destroyed at this point. âI-Iâm going to cum if you keep doing that⌠is that what you want, sweet girl?â he cooed, regaining a little composure as he spoke to you. You hummed, sending vibrations straight through him and eliciting a moan from his lips. âYou want my cum, donât you sweet girl. You want me to shoot my load right down your throat, right?â you hummed again, moaning around his twitching length as you squeezed his balls a little harder. Suguru cursed, the sound coming from the priest were enough to have your nipples bubbling, brushing uncomfortably against the material of your bra. âFuckâŚfuckâŚâ he panted, cheeks flushing a dark shade of pink as his fingers buried in your hair, no longer gentle as he rutted his hips into your mouth.Â
You gagged, fully unprepared for the priest to take over the way he had, the sound echoing and only fueling the fire in his gut. Tears welled in your eyes, spilling over and down your cheeks as you let him thrust into your mouth as he pleased, fingers fisting in your hair just as your free hand fisted in the material of your sundress. You inhaled through your nose, lightheaded as the priest abused your throat to his liking. âGonna⌠fuck gonna cum⌠oh yes, fuck⌠gonna cum down that pretty throat.â you whined, eyes nearly shutting before he commanded you to keep them open. âLook at me, the only way you can be forgiven is if you look at me, sweet-ah-girl.â He gritted his teeth, the pleasure ebbing up the back of his spine was going to make his knees week. Dutifully, you kept your eyes on him, watching his jaw go slack before he finally came.Â
You flinched, throat constricting at the extra intrusion but relaxing a moment later. You swallowed, mildly disappointed he had waited until he was nearly down your throat to cum. You didnât get to taste much, not until he drew his hips back and the salty taste dragged over your tongue. Suguru was panting, watching you reach up to rub your aching jaw as he tried to even his breathing. âYouâre on the road to forgiveness, sweet girl. But I donât quite think youâre there yet.â You looked at him with mild hurt, you had thought you had done so good. âBe a doll and strip for me⌠sit on the pew and demonstrate your sins from last night.â the priest was tucking his now softened cock away, trying to act as if he werenât flustered in the slightest. âFather SuguruâŚâ you spoke, voice slightly raspy from his use.Â
âYes? I believe I made myself clear.â he watched as you stood to your full height again, pulling your sundress off with no shame. You held his gaze as you pulled your ruined panties down, making sure he could see how destroyed they were before dropping them on the cold marble and walking down the few steps to the first row of pews. âI would much rather instruct you, I think it only makes sense for your pure hands to cleanse me of my sins in the deepest way.â You sat on the cold, polished wood, looking up at him where he stood on the elevated stage. He seemed to ponder your implications, huffing out a laugh before responding. âI guess that makes the most sense, youâre quite a smart, sweet girl.â You smiled at him, spreading your legs and moving to plant your feet on the pew. You were fully spread, the position mildly uncomfortable but you couldnât really think past that point as cool air met your slick, displayed cunt.Â
âFather Suguru, please⌠I want to be pure.â you coaxed him down, watching as he took shaky footsteps before dropping to his knees before you. âTell me, sweet girl. Tell me how you indulged yourself and tainted your soul⌠let me save you.â You shivered as his fingers trialed up the bare skin of your thighs, brown eyes observing your cunt dutifully. Your hands found their home pressed flat to either side of you, supporting you against the polished wood. âMy clit⌠I played with it until I left a wet mark on my sheets⌠I didnât let myself cum for a long whileâŚâ you breathed out, watching as he nodded, cheeks red and lips glossy as his tongue swiped across them. âI seeâŚâ he started, moving one calloused finger to swipe up your slick folds. â...like this? Gentle strokes and circles, right?â he used his thumb to press against your clit, rubbing it in circles until he felt you twitch. âY-yeahâŚâ you sighed, head falling back.Â
Suguru smirked, not moving any quicker. Your pretty sounds began to fill the empty cathedral, your arousal dripping down to the polished bench below you. He was careful with his movements, slowing until he was barely moving when he noticed you clenching around nothing, trying to draw your orgasm closer. âBe a good girl and let it happen⌠donât force your body to cum because you think Iâll leave you hanging, sweet girl.â you whined, releasing the breath you didnât know you were holding until he said that. You forced your head back down, face warm as you realized he was still intently staring at you. Granted you had done the same to him as you got him off. âTell me, is this how you were sinning last night?â Suguru waited until you were about to speak, using two fingers and slipping them straight into your slick core. âY-yeahâŚâÂ
Your body tensed again at the intrusion, moaning loudly as he massaged your walls. âI promise you, sweet girl, I will cleanse you.â he cooed, eyes focusing solely on you as he gauged your reactions. He would find that one particular spot, he was sure of it. âPlease Father Suguru⌠cleanse meâŚâ you cried out as he brushed it, a smirk curling the ends of his lips as he pressed his fingers into the front of your walls, thumb still sloppily rubbing your clit while his other hand squeezed your thigh. âS-SuâŚFather SuguruâŚâ you croaked, tears leaking down your cheeks as he abused that one spongy part of your cunt. You couldnât think straight, mind blanking completely as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you. âGo on, sweet girl, cum on my fingers.â He encouraged, voice so gentle you would have never guessed he was knuckle deep in your cunt.Â
Suguru could feel it of course, your walls fluttering and twitching around his fingers as more and more of your slick arousal slipped out of you and down to the pew. âIâm gonna cum⌠Fa-ahhâ you couldnât get the rest out, hip jerking as your orgasm hit you before you could truly prepare. You cried out, the noise bouncing off of the cathedral walls as the priest continued to finger your cunt and circle your clit with his thumb. âS-Stop oh fuck s-stopâŚâ you wheezed out, an unfamiliar feeling building in your gut as he continued to abuse that one spot with his fingers. âNo, this is what you need, sweet girl, let it happen.â he encouraged, lips parted as he watched where his fingers had disappeared inside of you very intently. Your eyes screwed shut, trying to fight off the feeling but it was useless, the priest was unrelenting in his movements.Â
Shockwaves of your orgasm turned into a full blown tsunami, your head falling back as a gush of fluid sprayed out of you and onto the bench and marble floor below. You cried out, his name mixed somewhere in the jumble of your babbling, utterly embarrassed. Finally, Father Suguru stopped, withdrawing from your body entirely and getting off his knees. âSweet girl, what a mess.â he scolded you, a devious grin on his face still as he looked your wrecked frame over. âYouâve been cleansed, pretty. But I would argue that we should double⌠or even triple check to make sure itâs really working.â Your body felt heavy, eyes lidded as you merely nodded, cunt still fluttering at the thought of getting more of the priest before you.Â
âIâll make sure you are pure, my sweet girl.â Â
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