#they WISH they could have what my OCs do
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all those Dads who adopt the FL guys always look like they’re somewhere in their twenties. What do you mean your son is already thirteen. You look 28 at most.
#no more teen moms who got taken advantage of#where are my teen dad protag fathers#letters webcomic adventures#rn I’m reading#why do you love me when I refuse your request#anyway the bio dad and the adopted one should fuck#they WISH they could have what my OCs do
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practicing urm.. shape language or something with one of my many current obsessions. everyone should go check out @clangenrising pretty please
i took quite a few design liberties in attempts to translate into my artstyle whoops
#warrior cats#warrior cats art#my art#wc art#wc oc#warriors oc#risingclan#risingclan fan art#what is the fanart tag here. do we have one#scorchplume#mystique#razor#ghost#wish i could have done more art this break but alas.#i am sick
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sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#not really for the attention thing but more for .. work being recognized?#im not sure#to feel more like people actually stop and look at sth instead of skipping over it?#maybe its jsut an internet phenomena(?)#like the way everything is just consumed within seconds and never lasts long and if you miss the trend you are irrelevant#the sort of weird pressure to have to subvert expectations or be exceptionally exceptional just to be recognized ?#(which i know isnt always a good thing lol)#also this isnt a complaint per se more like a thought#like i sometimes wish i was into the popular characters instead of the niche ones etc#that kind of thing#also like i wish i could make art that really speaks to people .. like those that are just so .. interesting and strange and poetic#bc (while i know fanart and silly oc projects arent worhtless) those feel more worthwhile? more worth really being called art?#for soemthing to be truly art it should be either exceptionally skilled or profound like the greatest poets?#im just doing whatever my brain allows me to do- which i know is fine#but i also dont think its inherently wrong to wish for being more than that sometimes#(... maybe its mostly just loneliness without knowing how to find friends)#(especially where i am and especially as i just want a friend to live with - not a partner... i dont want to be this alone forever ...)#(actually ....... what if all my art self consciousness comes from wanting to feel less lonely .. oh dear- no time to unpack that omg)
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POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw gore#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#jrwi gabriel#jrwi gabriel montez#LOOK FAMILIAR?hahahahahDONT WORRY#IM REUPLOADING THIS HERE BC i fixed up the drawing a lil. and also i wanted to add main tags#U WONT SEE ANY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THISSUN N THE POST ON MY SIDEBLOG.i changed the image there too.HA!!!!!!!#ANYWAY.i rambled plenty about pain and gabe on my sideblog.SO LETS TALK ABT THE ART SHALL WE.ihad i very hard time getting the colors down#would u believe i nearly left this uncolored??FUCKED UP!! it was only a sketchhow did it end up like this. it was only a sketch...#BUT IM RLY GLAD I WENT W COLORING IT.this time i actually used the airbrush n pencil tools BUT i also have a handy dandy brush i made#its just the mspaint air brush tool. fucking LOVE THAT THING. but now its in fire alpaca and it can be slightly transparent.IT LOOKS SOGOOD#perfect for splatters and grime.i love you mspaint i love youuu.im also so happy w the blood here.i think i reached a shift last year#back when i made that genloss fanart something abt the way i draw blood finally CLICKED and im like OH. the inside must always be darker.#like i KNEW that already but it was like my hand itself finally had it click.i wonder what i will learn next?I LIKE THE ORGANS HERE TOO#not as veiny or thready as i usually draw em. but i think thats fine. not as WET as id like em to be but thats also fine.#i got the point across. the point ofc being WOW THIS IS GRUESOME AND PAINFUL AND TERRIBLE#I LOVE HIS EXPRESSION.i love pain and thinking abt pain. you lose yourself to it after enough time passes of just being in an ocean o agony#at one point its just too tiresome to scream or writhe. theres a point when the body accepts it.sometimes.atleast.#OHHH GABRIEL AS A CHARACTER DELIGHTS ME SO MUCH.he is a dog to me.a thing to serve others.I WISH I KNEW MORE#WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT BOY?? SURE POWER AND SECURITY AND SAFETY ARE NICE.BUT DID YOU HAVE DREAMS? WANTS? PASSIONS?#WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THAT TIGER TATTOO ON YOUR ARM?WHAT DO THE DOGTAGS SAY BOY?I WISH I COULD HAVE TEA W U#OHHH TO SIT DOWN WITH A CHARACTER AND JUST SPEAK TO THEM. AND YET. AND YET IN THE END ITS ALL TRAGEDY AND COMEDY#TRAGEDY AND COMEDY THAT IS SO SO PAINFULLY UNBALANCED. SIGH.#WHATEVER CMERE BOY YOURE BECOMING AN OC OF MINE NOW UR GONNA BE IN SPACE AND UR NAME IS GONNA BE VINEGAR#UR STILL GONNA BE SHIP OF THESEUSED THOUGH. OOOHHH GABRIEEELLL GABRIEL MONTEEEZZZ#HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE BUILT INTO YOU.HOW MANY DID YOU LOVE AND CHERISH.HOW MANY TATTOOS DO U RECOGNIZE ON UR NEW ARMS#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? ON THE NIGHT U WERE SIRED?WERE YOU EXCITED? DID YOU SEE YOUR BOSS' FACE?WHAT WAS THIS PROMOTION LIKE?
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Guys that go bump in the night
(minorly inspired by @karniss-bg3 's response to this ask)
#bg3#astarion#rhylolin/lobo (oc)#kar'niss#drider#baldurs gate 3#driftoodles#alternative titles thst were suggested have been: the monster mash; two charlatan party crashers and their plus one#a drider a lycanthrope and a vampire walk into a bar#etc etc etc i could keep going#i imagine this would be a post bg3 plot thing . dunno what trouble theyre getting into but#whatever theyre up to someones probably gonna have to bail them out. my moneys on gale#with how ive been sketching kar'niss ive been drawing him more emaciated during bg3 bc i noticed his abdomen wrinkles at the bottom which#is a trait of dehydration in arachnids. hes probs not eating very well in moonrise lmao. but i imagine lobo heres been taking p good care#of him. also i think karniss still isnt used to being complimented so every time anyone says he looks nice he throws a fit about it#arachnophobia#but yeah so i try to draw him with rounder n softer features if im drawing him doing smthn post bg3#anywayyys i have a big day tomorrow i wish i had more energy to put smthn neater out but. for now. woe drider#i actually planned on replying to the og ask with more refined doodles but i may do thst later shdkdnkd
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compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......
chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon
#granted theres a glaring issue in one of them#i am not pointing it out lest you end up noticing it when you wouldnt normally~#my art#art q#digital painting#oc#mew#pokemon#purrloin#also i put in my request for availability change#apparently they can reject it...#i just cited second job as reason as to why i need mondays off now#my manager is gonna be super pissed tho cuz they always get mad at everyone who changes their availability#but like i mentally cant keep up with the randomised schedule#esp when i could find out the day before my day off that its my only day i can do comms#i dont have enough time to work my schedule for that w chores and having to go buy food or cat food etc etc#it will come into effect start of next month if they accept it#if they dont then ill just keep resubmitting until they write me upfor it lol idk#i was even nice and specifically asked other higher up staff what the best day to ask off was so it didnt hurt them too bad#but i ranted in stream the other day how like im not responsible for if the store gets fucked just cuz i took one day off my schedule yanno#its not my job to keep that from happening#also im part time and if i was full time id still have 2 guaranteed days off so like ??? idk#scared abt getting the cold shoulder and whatnot the next few weeks from the manager tho#also i stayed up till 4am by accident#and got up at 8am anyways#wish my ass luck
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Dangerously close to plotting a real Skyrim/Lord of the Rings crossover for after Keeping Count because my secret desire for Leara/Glorfindel has reared its head again
Shhh Don't question it.
#look look now i must explain#the explanation is that leara simply works well with literally every male character I like at least for the most part#anyway#it'd be funny#i wish i could write a leara/astarion fic but i do NOT understand d&d at all alas#I understand lotr/silm on a crazy level so i guess sunshine hero elf it is#this is fine actually#actually what i really need to do is edit and finish my funny Skyrim/hobbit crack fic but that's a ten year old project#no really#I do NOT KNOW i am just having thoughts and i'm sharing them on my blog because it's mine and I can#also i was in the glorfindel/ofc tag on ao3 like five minutes ago and it looks empty and sad#so Leara can fix it#one day there will be more leara ships than there are for hermione granger jk maybe#i should make a list#I am talking out of my hair it is unlikely that i'll ever do anything the fact that keeping count even exists is a bloody miracle#mod post#oc: leara roseblade
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CURSES! I am having a vague character idea coming together within my mind, yet no place for it to exist within.
#It is nearly impossible for me to have stand alone OCs that I actually care about and can share with people as I wish to do#Character idea in my head could be really funny but that requires other characters to bounce off of.#And if there's other characters then why? Who are they? Why are they here? What are they doing? What is the conflicts-#-I do not need to be starting on a completely new different thing like that.#funny talking tag
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I need to sleep for 70 hours and then maybe I'll feel not evil again
#Robin processes emotions on main#mghmfph#THE BRAIN GUCK#holy spirit fix me. holy spirit. holy spirit save me#the stupid brain guck man..... I need to move out I need to sleep more I need to. need to be braver#I need to write this new story idea I need to. bury myself in zombie au#my brain's coming up with new ocs and even as I'm doing it I'm going wow these are the ocs of a stressed-out teenager#I'm not a teenager but living with my parents again is making me feel like one I NEED TO MOVE OUT#ANYWAY#everything will be fine I'm just venting#I'm just particularly frustrated with myself today and talking myself through it. I hate feeling selfish. ugh.#I wish I had money for therapy :[#I want to do therapy again. but it's just me my comfort media and the holy spirit against the world right now#also in addition to feeling selfish I'm feeling super isolated#I HAVE NO COMMUNITY no irl community anyway#and living with my parents... makes it. genuinely super hard to try to make community. ugh. again: wish I could move out and get therapy#figure out what I'm DOING figure out people to do it WITH#yeuch that was a lot of gross emotions and thoughts sorry#love you. have a glass of water or something. that's what I'm going to do now#oh also I'm stressed out Today bc parents are having friends over and I don't feel up to it. but I like them. but I just want to sleep#SIGH#okay I'm done for real now
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👍
#i went to sleep at 3am and its 6am now bc i criedmyself to sleep 👍👍#sorry to ventdump my annoying insecurities again#i cant bring myself to do something i really want anymore#been having these thoughts since last year but this year its a lot more apparent#ideas are not scarce but the motivation/time to execute them are#i wish i could take an indefinite break on taking commissions bc by the time im finished with all of them im too burnt out/1#to draw for my blog and by the time it passes my motivation for these ideas also vanishes/2#I cant actually stop now bc im still an unpaid internee working for experience+portfolio so I need the money#I feel like shit whenever i can't get art done at the appropriate timing (ex: thematic holiday/character bday/event etc)#everything passes too fast and its already too late and the hype dies#its so hard to stay relevant and charismatic enough#Looking back I can't say im 100% satisfied with ANY art i posted this year#“was it worthy? is it still relevant? did I waste my time doing this?”#im too overly emotional over this (unfortunately) popular fictional lion beastman#“I want to yume/draw him more often/talk more about him!”#why? hes already popular enough. He has louder and more popular users who do that for him. nobody would care if it's you.#you'd get a swarm of hate. nobody would send you nice asks about it.#you don't get nearly half of the asks you used to receive back then. people just aren't interested in you anymore.#maybe you should delete your blog and start drawing trendy doodles of whatever is being hyped up at the moment.#.#if I can't execute original ideas what's the point of it?#I hate HATE having to do trendy art of whatever unfunny meme is being hyped up at the moment#but sometimes its necessary for the algorithm to boost you and to get some actual crumbs of engagement and new followers#what else can I do? being interesting on your own or having an interesting oc is no easy feat. I envy those who manage.
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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Inktober 12/2024 “Wish”
I reeeeally struggle with this prompt until I remembered another story (that has an au within it) I made. I always get unreasonably upset seeing aus where dark shadow simply doesn’t exist even when tokoyami is the focus. Taking dark shadow out of Tokoyami’s existence would completely change his upbringing and likewise his character, he wouldn’t even be tokoyami without knowing dark shadow. (You can compare it to bakugo being taken out of Midoriya’s story, but even worse). So this is sort of a vent story where I make tokoyami suffer and also see how his personality would differ.
Tw for suicidal ideation and other bad shit. This is not a nice story. It is slightly self indulgent and vent too so maybe my feeling are skewed about what is most likely to happen idk
This story is based off that episode in adventure time with prismo and the farm world. Our story starts with a girl (13yrs old) who has the power to grant wishes, reality bending wishes. Her quirk is so powerful a lot of people want to get their hands on her but she always manages to get away by making their wishes backfire on them. She is wanted by the hero’s to “keep her safe” so when Tsukuyomi (16-19yrs old) finds her and somehow manages to catch her gaseous form she offers him a wish for her freedom. There are the usual rules about wishing that you cannot kill, ask for love, excetra. She is based on a djinn or genie so the wisher gets 3 wishes (I guess she’s kinda based off Alluka from hunterxhunter). Tokoyami is smart enough to know that’s a bad idea, nor does he even have anything he wants to wish for. Dark shadow on the other hand…is more easily swayed. Their wish is such:
“I wish I never existed, and fumikage had a normal quirk that was easy to control.”
…
Yeash, self esteem issues much.
When shadow makes their wish they are sent to a sort of limbo or liminal space that is a large white void. The girl also joins them there and together they watch Dark Shadows alternate reality play out.
It becomes increasingly obvious that dark shadow’s intention to create a better life for fumikage is not working out the way they wanted. They thought he would have more friends without a scary shadow demon for a quirk but instead tokoyami is more reclusive and timid than ever. Tokoyami was always bullied for his interest in the darkness and when they were little dark shadow learned to defend him from those bullies. Without dark shadow he simply does not fight back because he wants to avoid getting in trouble. Which leads to the bullying getting worse and still being treated like a freak. For what little friends tokoyami had made, they were usually the result of dark shadows more outgoing personality. So they arnt around either. The obvious issue is without dark shadow tokoyami is alone and suffering.
Otherwise Tokoyami’s home life isn’t much better. His mother is too overbearing and putting stress on him to be perfect. He doesn’t have ds to help mitigate that stress through venting, reassurance, or even trying to tell her off. Even when dark shadow was sure his relationship with his father would be better, tokoyami has pulled away from him and become bitter since he won’t help with the struggles against his mother.
Eventually in middle school the bullying escalates to extreme assault that leave tokoyami in the hospital a few times. No one does anything to help, he is (once again) in this alone. Tokoyami eventually snaps, but instead of becoming violent…he tries to end his own life.
He survives but is put under suicide watch. Everyone finally seems to notice the decline of his mental state so he drops out of school and moves in with his aunt. She is the one who inherited Tokoyami’s grandfather’s homestead. So now he lives in the country more isolated than ever, at least his aunt seems to care for him well. He can’t help but wish there had been more to his life though…
This is about caught up to Tokoyami’s current age. so now dark shadow has been shown the error of their judgement. To top it all off the djinn girl shows how even though dark shadow was never able to directly hurt anyone in this timeline there were people who they never saved as well. From all the way back to shadow protecting other kids from bullies to people they saved in their hero career, more people ended up hurt by their absence. They are a blessing to this world, and don’t you forget it.
Dark Shadow tries to revoke their wish, which is perfectly successful in sending them back to their own timeline. They return to the exact moment they made their wish but unfortunately tokoyami still heard what they said and is very upset and panicked. They both end up crying a looooooot.
As for djinn girl she actually learned a lot about family who loves and supports you. She has a younger brother who has been searching for her but she had been avoiding him to keep him safe. Tokoyami lets her go and she goes home, the hero’s keep an eye on her from afar. They know they’re no match for her power.
But before she leaves Dark Shadow uses their third wish to get a sandwich :)
As for the fate of the alternate timeline, well…only time will tell ;) ;)
Was that too cheesy?? Sorry
#spoiler tags at the bottom!————>>>#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#tokoyami fumikage#dark shadow#bnha oc#inktober#inktober 2024#there could be a much longer and convoluted plot if you’re only allowed 1 wish instead of 3 but I haven’t worked it out yet#there are other ways this other Tokoyami’s story could have ended#including one similar to toga where snaps and kills his bullies#he ends up on the farm on probation#or in a reform school where he gets involved with bad people and becomes a villain because he finally feels like he belongs#of course that is basically togas story so that’s why I didn’t want to go with that ending#I do have some ideas for what happens next in the AU but once again nothing concrete
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thinking about my gw2 fellas because i can’t play right now. thinking about all of them and shaking them around in my head and thinking about how i havent rped them in months and they’re starving and wasting away. sorry varus eros sobb agar keer plato and the sylvari i impulsively made one day. scratches head. kind of want to yap here but also in tags because i think tumblr works that way. people yap in the tags right
#i dont care im yapping in my tags#just noticed that like 90% of my creatures have 4 letter names#can you tell i like short names#what does this say about me i wonder#anyways#thinking about how i dont really have a commander oc#like yes i do the stories and stuff but none of my freaks is the commander#which isn’t a bad thinf i think#or a good thing#just a thing#i think the clooosest fella i have to being the commander is varus#why? i don’t know.#i think maybe because he’s who i started really playing gw2 with#went through all the stories with him#except for jw now. doing that with eros#sorry varus#i miss peitha#i miss varus and peitha#varitha my beloved#i wish i could talk about varus more without showing all my cards#i love all my creatures#thinking about them#i have so much to yap about but ill stop here i suppose#ok bye#mulchspeak
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well babes
Majexatli playthrough 1 is finished. Only took 239.8 hours.
For Majexatli. They ended with Wyll as the Blade of Avernus, and Majexatli and him went with Karlach to Avernus so she can live and won't be alone. Hell better get ready for this polycule.
#eldritch it speaks#salam plays bg3#oc: majexatli#bg3 spoilers#im so happy i saved every possible tiefling refugee hell yeah#i do wish like. idk i knew what my other companions were doing.#obviously we did have to go to hell asap so its not like we could party#but even like a title card of what everyones doing would have been nice
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ant mill wip #1536 so i can talk in the tags
#without context this is just some guy I KNOW but i promise it's scout. maybe not THE scout but A scout.#my scout. not an oc scout but the scout from my little story#one of many scouts i guess#i am not sure if this will ever see the light of day because it's so removed from being like. canon/fanon recognisable#BUT. but. i am actually trying to do perspective#i wish i could transfer my brain into a 100k novel so u could understand the context but.#just know i am thinking powerthoughts. if you could see it u would think it was so cool#smoking out the bay windows... top floor of a three decker... the only sibling at the new place... BLARGHHH#sorry#youll have to excuse me#ok .#might uhhhh might.#if this disappears it's bc i got lucid#ant mill is the weird placeholder name i am using to refer to this au! the more you know#need to digitise some of the engies in my planner.... hes my favourite hoohooheehee#i have the opposite of same face syndrome bc i have no concept of consistency.#also depends what tools im using! painting is very different from lineart#NOTE TO SELF : face dip cheekbone forward
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i started this year off wanting to change myself in a way that would hurt me but now i realize that was a shitty thing to do. but i want to do it. again.
#random thoughts#self-destructive tendencies for the win!! on and off since 2022!!#i've been trying to convince myself i am diseased when really i am not. there is nothing wrong with me.#because it is not severe. i have not been close to death. it's fine. in fact i often do the opposite of what i want#and fail myself every single day. but i want to make myself ill on purpose because without illness what am i.#saying there is nothing wrong with you because there is nothing wrong with you does not mean there is nothing wrong with you.#there is something very wrong with me. but i always want to fix it. but i don't. so i fix it. but it's not fixing.#it's making me better and worse.#might as well project some of this onto my favorite oc clemens because. he's just like me now. languages boy. with a strange childhood#my parents weren't surgeons. my parents got divorced like kristian's. but we haven't moved to a new country because of it yet.#i say yet because it will happen. but this is unrelated to my previous complications.#I WANT TO GET BETTER.#but i really. really don't. because if i do then nobody will believe me.#i wish i could just tell someone. but then they will think i am lying to them.#for now i shall sit in my bed and stare at the ceiling#and stare at the forever closed window and close my eyes as well#and when i open them it will be 12 days later and i will be purified#i love you marina abramović
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