#they WISH they could have what my OCs do
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all those Dads who adopt the FL guys always look like they’re somewhere in their twenties. What do you mean your son is already thirteen. You look 28 at most.
#no more teen moms who got taken advantage of#where are my teen dad protag fathers#letters webcomic adventures#rn I’m reading#why do you love me when I refuse your request#anyway the bio dad and the adopted one should fuck#they WISH they could have what my OCs do
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practicing urm.. shape language or something with one of my many current obsessions. everyone should go check out @clangenrising pretty please
i took quite a few design liberties in attempts to translate into my artstyle whoops
#warrior cats#warrior cats art#my art#wc art#wc oc#warriors oc#risingclan#risingclan fan art#what is the fanart tag here. do we have one#scorchplume#mystique#razor#ghost#wish i could have done more art this break but alas.#i am sick
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sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#not really for the attention thing but more for .. work being recognized?#im not sure#to feel more like people actually stop and look at sth instead of skipping over it?#maybe its jsut an internet phenomena(?)#like the way everything is just consumed within seconds and never lasts long and if you miss the trend you are irrelevant#the sort of weird pressure to have to subvert expectations or be exceptionally exceptional just to be recognized ?#(which i know isnt always a good thing lol)#also this isnt a complaint per se more like a thought#like i sometimes wish i was into the popular characters instead of the niche ones etc#that kind of thing#also like i wish i could make art that really speaks to people .. like those that are just so .. interesting and strange and poetic#bc (while i know fanart and silly oc projects arent worhtless) those feel more worthwhile? more worth really being called art?#for soemthing to be truly art it should be either exceptionally skilled or profound like the greatest poets?#im just doing whatever my brain allows me to do- which i know is fine#but i also dont think its inherently wrong to wish for being more than that sometimes#(... maybe its mostly just loneliness without knowing how to find friends)#(especially where i am and especially as i just want a friend to live with - not a partner... i dont want to be this alone forever ...)#(actually ....... what if all my art self consciousness comes from wanting to feel less lonely .. oh dear- no time to unpack that omg)
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POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw gore#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#jrwi gabriel#jrwi gabriel montez#LOOK FAMILIAR?hahahahahDONT WORRY#IM REUPLOADING THIS HERE BC i fixed up the drawing a lil. and also i wanted to add main tags#U WONT SEE ANY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THISSUN N THE POST ON MY SIDEBLOG.i changed the image there too.HA!!!!!!!#ANYWAY.i rambled plenty about pain and gabe on my sideblog.SO LETS TALK ABT THE ART SHALL WE.ihad i very hard time getting the colors down#would u believe i nearly left this uncolored??FUCKED UP!! it was only a sketchhow did it end up like this. it was only a sketch...#BUT IM RLY GLAD I WENT W COLORING IT.this time i actually used the airbrush n pencil tools BUT i also have a handy dandy brush i made#its just the mspaint air brush tool. fucking LOVE THAT THING. but now its in fire alpaca and it can be slightly transparent.IT LOOKS SOGOOD#perfect for splatters and grime.i love you mspaint i love youuu.im also so happy w the blood here.i think i reached a shift last year#back when i made that genloss fanart something abt the way i draw blood finally CLICKED and im like OH. the inside must always be darker.#like i KNEW that already but it was like my hand itself finally had it click.i wonder what i will learn next?I LIKE THE ORGANS HERE TOO#not as veiny or thready as i usually draw em. but i think thats fine. not as WET as id like em to be but thats also fine.#i got the point across. the point ofc being WOW THIS IS GRUESOME AND PAINFUL AND TERRIBLE#I LOVE HIS EXPRESSION.i love pain and thinking abt pain. you lose yourself to it after enough time passes of just being in an ocean o agony#at one point its just too tiresome to scream or writhe. theres a point when the body accepts it.sometimes.atleast.#OHHH GABRIEL AS A CHARACTER DELIGHTS ME SO MUCH.he is a dog to me.a thing to serve others.I WISH I KNEW MORE#WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT BOY?? SURE POWER AND SECURITY AND SAFETY ARE NICE.BUT DID YOU HAVE DREAMS? WANTS? PASSIONS?#WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THAT TIGER TATTOO ON YOUR ARM?WHAT DO THE DOGTAGS SAY BOY?I WISH I COULD HAVE TEA W U#OHHH TO SIT DOWN WITH A CHARACTER AND JUST SPEAK TO THEM. AND YET. AND YET IN THE END ITS ALL TRAGEDY AND COMEDY#TRAGEDY AND COMEDY THAT IS SO SO PAINFULLY UNBALANCED. SIGH.#WHATEVER CMERE BOY YOURE BECOMING AN OC OF MINE NOW UR GONNA BE IN SPACE AND UR NAME IS GONNA BE VINEGAR#UR STILL GONNA BE SHIP OF THESEUSED THOUGH. OOOHHH GABRIEEELLL GABRIEL MONTEEEZZZ#HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE BUILT INTO YOU.HOW MANY DID YOU LOVE AND CHERISH.HOW MANY TATTOOS DO U RECOGNIZE ON UR NEW ARMS#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? ON THE NIGHT U WERE SIRED?WERE YOU EXCITED? DID YOU SEE YOUR BOSS' FACE?WHAT WAS THIS PROMOTION LIKE?
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spider girl / jellyfish girl
#>see random post that gives me multi-limb oc worms >elise makes those tge posts >black out for five hours and now we are here#I THINK why i prefer jellyfish over spider is the floaty no brain aspect#spider supposes a premediated hunting instinct that simply isnt there#THE FREAK IN ME HOWEVR. entirely blacks out at the idea of what she could do given a few more arms#there is a more unsavory version of this that i wld not be able to post to tumblr no matter the cws. u can imagine <3#sketchies#i rly rly wanted to put her in the jellyfish dress thats in my tags but i simply did not have the stamina for it sorry#all i wish for 2025 is to get better and faster at art i cannot keep spending a whole day on barely put together concept draws aughh
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Dangerously close to plotting a real Skyrim/Lord of the Rings crossover for after Keeping Count because my secret desire for Leara/Glorfindel has reared its head again
Shhh Don't question it.
#look look now i must explain#the explanation is that leara simply works well with literally every male character I like at least for the most part#anyway#it'd be funny#i wish i could write a leara/astarion fic but i do NOT understand d&d at all alas#I understand lotr/silm on a crazy level so i guess sunshine hero elf it is#this is fine actually#actually what i really need to do is edit and finish my funny Skyrim/hobbit crack fic but that's a ten year old project#no really#I do NOT KNOW i am just having thoughts and i'm sharing them on my blog because it's mine and I can#also i was in the glorfindel/ofc tag on ao3 like five minutes ago and it looks empty and sad#so Leara can fix it#one day there will be more leara ships than there are for hermione granger jk maybe#i should make a list#I am talking out of my hair it is unlikely that i'll ever do anything the fact that keeping count even exists is a bloody miracle#mod post#oc: leara roseblade
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Comms for Those in the Realm of Discord 💚
#my art#commission#object oc#Back with another lovely set of commissions!!#I'm incredibly proud of these two OMGA#These two comms in particular play into two I love doing in my MS paint works:#Adding lots of fun miscellaneous details for the first and each panel adding onto a narrative in the second#The first piece help me find out what exactly I need to *learn* about it graffiti is truly capture it's carefree nature#I have tons to learn but looking at references studying certain styles of letter was just SO much!!#That and I got a bit carried away given how much I could really fit into the canvas without making up the overall compostion hehe#I added a few OSC jokes here and there so I hope you have fun if you spot them!!#As for the second; Star truly gives me a lot to work with when its comes to Star's OCs#There's so much fun narrative bits and details I can weave into a piece if I truly wanted to and I do my best express that as I go along#That and Star's designs are just so fun!! Hehe#Also - Can't say I promise anything - but I'd love to get around to having public comms this month!!#So if you wish keep your eyes peeled in case I finally gain that confidence :}
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biggest downside of not having many experiences or meeting many people is not having anything to feed into the art machine
#i think this is what i really mean when i say i dont have the artist's mind#i like drawing and am learning to enjoy how i draw#but beneath the lines i dont really know how to make anything meaningful#i wish i could experience the brain of another artist for this reason like#i didnt do much as a kid didnt watch or play many things didnt meet many people i read quite#a bit but nothing really stuck never learned much in school bc id always just draw#is this why i have nothing even now at 26 living almost the same life?#i cant cobble together a story or background for my characters i cant make stuff that Means anything#i always talk also about how i fear finding a partner bc my stuff is just 99% self indulgent sanity keeping work#idk what id make without the lonely#i dont even know what to make With the lonely but its all thats here#<- this part is only barely related but theres a connection there ykwim#talkys#ive never felt anything good or bad in either direction...not much to draw from ...#i know i dont NEED my ocs to have roles in a novel but it just gets embarrassing at some point#ppl take interest in talon and i cant put together anything interesting there's nothing in my brain#i cant connect threads i cant think outside of the box#alas! alas#i think its just always going to be one of those immutable things 😞 too late to rewire rhe brain#especially since the monotony and captivity is ongoing.#goodnite ^_^
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CURSES! I am having a vague character idea coming together within my mind, yet no place for it to exist within.
#It is nearly impossible for me to have stand alone OCs that I actually care about and can share with people as I wish to do#Character idea in my head could be really funny but that requires other characters to bounce off of.#And if there's other characters then why? Who are they? Why are they here? What are they doing? What is the conflicts-#-I do not need to be starting on a completely new different thing like that.#funny talking tag
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Lorah: Lilac Knight's Love
Artist: @littledashdraws
Wanted to share this commission by Dash, who so lovingly illustrated my vision for Gunter's first wife!! Although Lorah's lived in my head since 2017, this is the first time I've had her drawn. Because I'm so thrilled over this art, I put together a little introduction for her!! you can read more about her below~
Residence: Duet Mountains Occupation: Farmer •❀• Bedside Nurse •❀• Homemaker Birthday: July 11 Gender: Female Relatives: Gunter (Husband) Katerina (Daughter)* Personality: Shy •❀• Bubbly •❀• Optimistic Hobbies: Crafting •❀• Gardening •❀• Baking Age: 21 (when she first meets Gunter) •❀• 36 (at death)
A Nohrian commoner whose known the kingdom's southern mountain range and neighbouring valleys her entire life, Lorah was a recognizable resident of her town even though she kept to herself. Learning the basics of herbal remedies from a young age, she would split her time between tending to the fields and easing the woes of the sick. In adulthood, she would chance upon meeting a Nohrian Great Knight during her town's annual spring festival. The couple's engagement, after seven years of courting, had become one of the most highly anticipated moments amongst the townsfolk.
*NOT the Nohrian Queen. I named their kid before I realized what Xander's mom's name was and by that point I was already ATTACHED (tell me Caterpillar is not the cutest nickname). So now the reason they share a name is lore relevant (which is a part of this fic!).
divider by saradika
#fire emblem fates#feif#fe14#gunter#yeah sure this can go in his tag#fire emblem oc#paranoid over tagging her as an oc cuz. she does exist in canon. but also. canon gave us nothing!#i'd like to consider it free real estate for oc development purposes#also cuz if intsys ever does decide to publish details about gunter's family i would say:#what do you mean. i've been letting his family live rent free in my head for almost a decade.#ANYWAYS YES SHE'S A RED HEAD. who do you think i am. /of course/ im gonna make her a red head.#things about me: gunter i am also attracted to your wife. therefore: she is a red head. case closed.#HER LITTLE COWLICK I LOVE IT SO MUUUUUUUCH#also dash gave me the behind the scenes info that she and Leigh have the same eye colour AHA#sorry gunter you are bound by a cosmic fate to fall in love with a certain eye colour#this will come up in a future fic. im sure. the freckled shoulders are already going to >:3c#oh yes if anyone else is curious. i did in fact sit down and map out a timeline to get her age how i wanted it.#by my calculations gunter would have been ~28. they have approx. 15 years together before everything falls apart#their long courtship is important to me okay#anyways to end this off. MISS LORAH I LOVE YOUUUUU beautiful woman who has been baking in my head for over 7 years.#I am taking good care of your husband don't you worry!! the old man is getting all the love he needs#god I wish she could have seen him as an old man. GOD. I work so hard cuz I'm loving him for her and me!!!!!!#gunter (fates)#lorah (oc)#fef#gunter's family
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I need to sleep for 70 hours and then maybe I'll feel not evil again
#Robin processes emotions on main#mghmfph#THE BRAIN GUCK#holy spirit fix me. holy spirit. holy spirit save me#the stupid brain guck man..... I need to move out I need to sleep more I need to. need to be braver#I need to write this new story idea I need to. bury myself in zombie au#my brain's coming up with new ocs and even as I'm doing it I'm going wow these are the ocs of a stressed-out teenager#I'm not a teenager but living with my parents again is making me feel like one I NEED TO MOVE OUT#ANYWAY#everything will be fine I'm just venting#I'm just particularly frustrated with myself today and talking myself through it. I hate feeling selfish. ugh.#I wish I had money for therapy :[#I want to do therapy again. but it's just me my comfort media and the holy spirit against the world right now#also in addition to feeling selfish I'm feeling super isolated#I HAVE NO COMMUNITY no irl community anyway#and living with my parents... makes it. genuinely super hard to try to make community. ugh. again: wish I could move out and get therapy#figure out what I'm DOING figure out people to do it WITH#yeuch that was a lot of gross emotions and thoughts sorry#love you. have a glass of water or something. that's what I'm going to do now#oh also I'm stressed out Today bc parents are having friends over and I don't feel up to it. but I like them. but I just want to sleep#SIGH#okay I'm done for real now
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👍
#i went to sleep at 3am and its 6am now bc i criedmyself to sleep 👍👍#sorry to ventdump my annoying insecurities again#i cant bring myself to do something i really want anymore#been having these thoughts since last year but this year its a lot more apparent#ideas are not scarce but the motivation/time to execute them are#i wish i could take an indefinite break on taking commissions bc by the time im finished with all of them im too burnt out/1#to draw for my blog and by the time it passes my motivation for these ideas also vanishes/2#I cant actually stop now bc im still an unpaid internee working for experience+portfolio so I need the money#I feel like shit whenever i can't get art done at the appropriate timing (ex: thematic holiday/character bday/event etc)#everything passes too fast and its already too late and the hype dies#its so hard to stay relevant and charismatic enough#Looking back I can't say im 100% satisfied with ANY art i posted this year#“was it worthy? is it still relevant? did I waste my time doing this?”#im too overly emotional over this (unfortunately) popular fictional lion beastman#“I want to yume/draw him more often/talk more about him!”#why? hes already popular enough. He has louder and more popular users who do that for him. nobody would care if it's you.#you'd get a swarm of hate. nobody would send you nice asks about it.#you don't get nearly half of the asks you used to receive back then. people just aren't interested in you anymore.#maybe you should delete your blog and start drawing trendy doodles of whatever is being hyped up at the moment.#.#if I can't execute original ideas what's the point of it?#I hate HATE having to do trendy art of whatever unfunny meme is being hyped up at the moment#but sometimes its necessary for the algorithm to boost you and to get some actual crumbs of engagement and new followers#what else can I do? being interesting on your own or having an interesting oc is no easy feat. I envy those who manage.
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that one post the other day asked about Lavellan's family members and reminded me that I had concepts of rewriting the 'Protect Clan Lavellan' war table missions as an actual playable quest, especially one in my world where my companion OC Enasel'an Lavellan is involved
Anyway i've since written 6 pages of notes on how the quest would work and how Enasel'an specifically as a companion ties into it
#went through and wrote down all the info we have from the war table mission descriptions about what actually happens in Wycome#now does all of it actually make sense? eh#more so than some parts of DA less so than others lol#BUT the point is that it actually translates to a playable quest. remarkably well imo#so now I have basically a whole quest#plus notes on my OC and how they fit in#and I think I might need to work on companion banters and such for this quest#now i will say i do not have the FAINTEST idea how mods work but i do wish I could just import my brain matter into this game lol#bc now i wanna do this lmao#this is all also background information for the mavren lavellan retellilng i'm doing (bc it's my canon and I make the rules now)#that I'm writing instead of. actually writing said mavren lavellan retelling#oops lol#anyway if you've made it this far in the tags hello go drink water and also send me a message if you want to read about it LOL#if i can get this into an actual shareable format i might just. share it#but for now it's bullet points (paragraphs long bullet points but I digress) in a google doc lol#dragon age inquisition#protect clan lavellan#enasel'an lavellan#my post
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thinking about my gw2 fellas because i can’t play right now. thinking about all of them and shaking them around in my head and thinking about how i havent rped them in months and they’re starving and wasting away. sorry varus eros sobb agar keer plato and the sylvari i impulsively made one day. scratches head. kind of want to yap here but also in tags because i think tumblr works that way. people yap in the tags right
#i dont care im yapping in my tags#just noticed that like 90% of my creatures have 4 letter names#can you tell i like short names#what does this say about me i wonder#anyways#thinking about how i dont really have a commander oc#like yes i do the stories and stuff but none of my freaks is the commander#which isn’t a bad thinf i think#or a good thing#just a thing#i think the clooosest fella i have to being the commander is varus#why? i don’t know.#i think maybe because he’s who i started really playing gw2 with#went through all the stories with him#except for jw now. doing that with eros#sorry varus#i miss peitha#i miss varus and peitha#varitha my beloved#i wish i could talk about varus more without showing all my cards#i love all my creatures#thinking about them#i have so much to yap about but ill stop here i suppose#ok bye#mulchspeak
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well babes
Majexatli playthrough 1 is finished. Only took 239.8 hours.
For Majexatli. They ended with Wyll as the Blade of Avernus, and Majexatli and him went with Karlach to Avernus so she can live and won't be alone. Hell better get ready for this polycule.
#eldritch it speaks#salam plays bg3#oc: majexatli#bg3 spoilers#im so happy i saved every possible tiefling refugee hell yeah#i do wish like. idk i knew what my other companions were doing.#obviously we did have to go to hell asap so its not like we could party#but even like a title card of what everyones doing would have been nice
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ant mill wip #1536 so i can talk in the tags
#without context this is just some guy I KNOW but i promise it's scout. maybe not THE scout but A scout.#my scout. not an oc scout but the scout from my little story#one of many scouts i guess#i am not sure if this will ever see the light of day because it's so removed from being like. canon/fanon recognisable#BUT. but. i am actually trying to do perspective#i wish i could transfer my brain into a 100k novel so u could understand the context but.#just know i am thinking powerthoughts. if you could see it u would think it was so cool#smoking out the bay windows... top floor of a three decker... the only sibling at the new place... BLARGHHH#sorry#youll have to excuse me#ok .#might uhhhh might.#if this disappears it's bc i got lucid#ant mill is the weird placeholder name i am using to refer to this au! the more you know#need to digitise some of the engies in my planner.... hes my favourite hoohooheehee#i have the opposite of same face syndrome bc i have no concept of consistency.#also depends what tools im using! painting is very different from lineart#NOTE TO SELF : face dip cheekbone forward
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