#these will always kill me
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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one of the hottest things ever is forced orgasms. someone fighting their body for me. getting them really really close and telling them not to cum and they're like straining and clenching their muslces trying to hold it back, even though they know i'm not gonna stop in time and their orgasm is inevitable. but they'll try anyway because they want to be good for me so bad. "stopstopstop, please, i'm gonna cum" awww you can't hold it for me? just a little longer? i know you can do it baby. i know you wanna cum so bad and it feels so good and you just wanna give into the feeling, but hold it. you know i'll ruin it if you don't.
#people saying stop is such a fucking button for me#as always consensually obvs#like we have a safeword they can say at any time#but instead they're saying stop bc it feels so good#also “stop! please!” while being tickled#hhhhhh it kills me#nb nsft#wlw nsft#sapphic nsft#femdxm#d0m/sub#soft d0m#edging nsft#ruined 0rgasm#0rgasm control#0rgasm denial#forced 0rgasm
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Like the majority of society I’m obsessed with Nimona
And I rewatched it a million times and one thing always sticks out to me
There are moments when Ambrosius is surrounded by light like a little protective bubble
That keeps him away from the man he loves more than anything
#nimona#nimona 2023#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister boldheart#ballister x ambrosius#goldenheart#he always looks so small in these scenes#like the light is going to swallow him whole#it almost looks like a little kid wearing his parents clothes#like he’ll never live up to the expectations society has placed on him#this man is so lonely for the whole movie#poor baby had to figure out everything by himself#he looks so tired in the second picture#the thing that kills me is in the last scene he tries to leave the bubble#but Bal shoved him back in#bubba looks ethereal throughout the whole movie#this movie man#it kills me slowly#I love it so much#I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep now#people from the rise fandom know I only post angst when I’m sleep deprived
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i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
#literally please be so so so fucking niceys to her i am so nervous about this for no reason#it's literally fine it's gonna be perfectly functional. I Am Going To Lose My Mind#i can always make another post if it gets fucked up somehow... i can always make another post...#anyway. hi. this is aromanticism. i made her for class. and then revised her for class. and now she's like my child#losing my miiiiiiiind#poetry#kind of like a uquiz too. to be honest haha#except i can make you read more somehow (long questions instead of long answers)#it's a little choose your own adventure......#poem#poems#poets on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetsandwriters#poems about aromanticism#aromantic#aro poet#aro poetry#aro#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#aspec#itch.io#GOD OKAY I'M JUST POSTING IT.#other writing#trying to get this to show up in my other writing tag is going to kill me...
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"aphobia doesn't exist"
bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it
#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area#so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying#even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations#now things are more calmed but damn#mind your own bussiness#i believe she knows more about herself than you#sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind#insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about”#or because they “just have to wait for the right person”#or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something”#i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself#and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one#aromantic#arospec#asexual#aroace#acespec
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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insane to hear those stories like "a homeless man asked me for money and i bought him some bread instead and he threw it in the trash" like wow.... all this could have been avoided if you treated him like a human being and asked "i can't give you money, is it okay if i buy you food instead?" and he would have said "no" and you could have walked away without wasting money or food, instead of assuming you knew what's best for him. it's not that fucking hard.
#so many of those stories and they always kill me#like OK so you just assumed he wanted to eat 5 db üres zsömle magában?????? cmon man.#LITERALLY. USE YOUR WORDS. NOT THAT HARD.#sorry saw a reddit thread#🌌
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The fact that everyone who ever came across Gollum, good or evil with no exceptions, spared his life despite everything about him, proves that no one is immune to little gremlins with big eyes and a tragic backstory
#gollum#lotr#lord of the rings#seriously how did he always not die#people will be like 'yeah i didn't kill him because-' excuses excuses excuses. u just like gremlin poor little meow meows#1k#im glad everyone is agreeing with me
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恵 ; "blessing"
12/22: consider this piece my love letter to a character who has become so near and dear to me and who has inspired so much of my artistic growth this past year <3 happy birthday megumi, your name becomes you ⊹ ࣪ ˖
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#when i tell u i worked on this piece for 7 days for 12hrs/day i am not exaggerating#i wanted to pull out all the stops i wanted this to be a full showcase of my skills#i was worried abt the angle bc birdseye/lookdown angles r always tricky and looking at it a month later i think i wld change some stuff but#overall i'm just so satisfied the background the flowers the colours#which btw the flowers KILLED me the rosary KILLED me his entire hand and sleeve area had me like why did i do this#but it was worth it it's all for him everything is for him id do ANYTHINg fr him do u understand me do. do you. do u understaND#if all i can offer him in tribute is art then u best bet i'm not gna cut corners#if that means hand rendering each individual turquoise vein and jade bead and paper fold then that's what i'll do#hbd again megumi u truly have become my muse <3
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Thanks Zote, I would have never known!
Bug Fact: The Land Lobster is thought to be the world’s rarest insect. Plentiful before the introduction of rats to Lord Howe Island, they were thought to be extinct for 80 years. In 2001, less than 30 individuals were found. Breeding programs are under way! Photos Below
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Volume 2 Masterpost
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They're a type of Stick Bug! This bug's story is so bombastic and wild I wanted to link a bigger article here for those who are interested.
#This one page took me forever to make. There's more than 15 buggies in that crowd! Plus I had to figure out the ground layout#I wanted to show how at ease the bugs from Vol 1 are with Dewi compared to the new ones. Quirrel is waving hi <3#Plus I needed to show just how much more crowed Dirtmouth is! (Elderbug is a little miffed by this)#Ghost gives a THUMBS UP to being King :)#Hornet is always 2 seconds away from killing Zote at any time#Dewi's Adventures in Hollow Knight#Dewi's Adventures in Hollow Knight V2#hollow knight humans#hornet hollow knight#ghost hollow knight#my art#dewi#comic#hollow knight au#Lilybug Comics#art#Hollow Knight#hollow knight fanart#hk fanart#hollow knight comic#hollow knight art#hk art#hk au#hk sly#hollow knight sly
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the fox god.
a comic about a trickster.
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creative notes:
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all my other comics
store
#cw: emotional abuse#cw: gaslighting#cw: animal death#charity - a god whose name was only ever meant to be ironic#i love playing with the concept of religion like this#im not religious at all but i did go to a christian school for twelve years#and i remember learning about the story of abraham. who long story short gets told by god to kill his son to prove his love for god.#and at the veeeery last minute god goes sike! this was a test to see if you'd do it! here's a lamb to slaughter instead#but the whole concept of that exchange in and of itself is so#anyway#one thing i meant to include in the creative notes but i ran out of room for is that charity never calls cunning by his name.#it's just “fox”. which was a small touch to indicate that he never acknowledged cunning's identity outside of being something exploitable.#but for all charity's hidden disdain for cunning#he still stole all his strengths and coveted them. he became known as the fox god.#so maybe some part of cunning survived. despite everything.#“give me your heart.”#“my god. it had always been yours.”#comic art#hearteaters#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics#one more comic to go until im finished with this collection!!
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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LET YOUR DAD DIE: IT'S FINE IT'S FINE IT'S WHAT HE DID TO HIS DAD.
Lestat + Claudia: Patricide & The Cycles of Violence - INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022) - Catherine Lacy, "Cut" (2019) / Anne Rice, "The Vampire Lestat" (1985) / Anne Rice, "Interview with the Vampire" (1976)
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#the vampire chronicles#lestat de lioncourt#claudia iwtv#claudia eparvier#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia de lioncourt#web weaving#i know there are 14929825 lestat/claudia comparative posts but i needed this one. for me.#does this make any sense outside of my head#like it's the cycles of violence and abuse and control (obviously)#but also lestat fantasizing/dreaming about killing his dad but not being able to in the end#she did something he always wanted to but never could and he respected her for it. he didn't have it in him but she DID#the lesdaughter of it all#also can we talk about how they both made louis finish the job agahajaj#evil of my evil
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out of context f1
#spa fans I will always be in awe of you#this looks like a painting it’s fkn killing me#f1#belgian gp 2024
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ur art is sooo pretty to look at :3 could i mayhaps request a desert of the duo,,, if ud like to,,,
Idk what scars thinking about here but it doesn't seem very funtimeswithscar 😔
And thank youuu, finally got an excuse to draw desert duo hehe
#first time drawing them!! the ogs fr#also hc ive decided from drawing this is whenever gruan is sleeping one eye is always a little open still#procreate was making me want to kill a person though bc the colour profile was nothing like how i drew it no matter the settings#so sorry if the colouring is a bit eh i tried my best to fix it#grian#goodtimeswithscar#desert duo#third life#trafficblr#just noticed grian typo . rite of passage idc#the crumb req-oning
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Nah man this 8ft black and white thing wandered onto my lawn AGAIN this is the third time I’m calling his husband to come pick them up!!!
(dsmp posting in 2024?? When the last thing I’ve drawn digitally of them was in April 2022???? Wiiiilllddd. What am I even doing.)
#mcyt#mcyt fanart#mcytblr#dsmp#dsmp fanart#dsmp art#dsmpblr#dream smp#dsmp ranboo#cranboo#c!ranboo#ranboo beloved#dsmp tubbo#ctubbo#c!tubbo#tubbo underscore#beeduo#cbeeduo#c!beeduo#dsmp michael#michael beloved#michael underscore beloved#i don’t even care whether this gets popular i had a joyride drawing this actually#cranboo you will always be the main character to me#i’m sorry for suddenly jumping from one cringy interest to another like this on y’all#(i’m currently mildly beefing wit ninjago but i’ll be back)#don’t talk abt That guy on this post btw i will kill you
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