#I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep now
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Like the majority of society I’m obsessed with Nimona
And I rewatched it a million times and one thing always sticks out to me
There are moments when Ambrosius is surrounded by light like a little protective bubble
That keeps him away from the man he loves more than anything
#nimona#nimona 2023#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister boldheart#ballister x ambrosius#goldenheart#he always looks so small in these scenes#like the light is going to swallow him whole#it almost looks like a little kid wearing his parents clothes#like he’ll never live up to the expectations society has placed on him#this man is so lonely for the whole movie#poor baby had to figure out everything by himself#he looks so tired in the second picture#the thing that kills me is in the last scene he tries to leave the bubble#but Bal shoved him back in#bubba looks ethereal throughout the whole movie#this movie man#it kills me slowly#I love it so much#I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep now#people from the rise fandom know I only post angst when I’m sleep deprived
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Jere and Bojan most likely are having their weekly calls in the evening when both them are free and can unwind. Maybe sometimes Jere and Bojan are their last conversation before they fall asleep 🌠
Yes 🥹 And do you know what happens when one of them falls asleep before the other? They always whisper the things they’re too afraid to say out loud when the other is awake to hear them.
I wish things were different. I wish we didn’t have this stupid fucking continent between us. I wish you were here in my arms. Did you know that sometimes I sleep in your shirt? You know which one. I wish I could stay there, always. I wish you could stay here, always. I wish I could call you mine. I wish I was brave enough to tell you, but it would hurt too much when I have to leave again. I love you. Mä rakastan sua. Ljubim te. Forever.
But what they don’t know is that often the other isn’t actually asleep, but he’s listening to every word, silent tears trailing down his cheeks, thinking
I wish that too. I want that too. I wish I was brave enough too, but it would hurt too much. I love you too. Mäkin rakastan sua. Tudi jaz te ljubim. Forever.
#pls don’t come at me if i messed up with that ”I love you too” in slovene i consulted google translate#i’m gonna go cry myself to sleep now#sad bojere bitches support group#bojere
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i will never be enough for anyone and that’s okay :)
#well that fucking hurt#i’m gonna go cry myself to sleep now#that was … the last thing i needed to hear#felt like it was the final blow#think i’m gonna kay em ess#not a single word of support from redacted
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i’ll be honest, i had my doubts about the casting of the rwrb movie.
but the way nicholas smiled at taylor in the poster made me realise that he is literally the most henry person that could have played the role
#and now if you’ll excuse me lads i’m going to cry myself to sleep 👍#henry is an entity in my mind and i was gonna be so critical of nicholas#i mean he could still be only half decent#but i have more hope now#and hope is all that matters#rwrb#red white and royal blue#red white and royal blue movie#rwrb movie#prince henry of wales#henry mountchristen windsor#alexander claremont diaz#alex claremont diaz#nicholas galitzine#taylor zakhar perez#casey mcquiston
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Jk would u give your life for oc? Just answer honestly ams frankly♥️
“i can’t do that to ____,” jungkook slowly utters after moments of contemplation. “that’s the worst thing i could possibly do for them. they already lost their family… they’re already in a degree of pain none of us could ever imagine. how…”
he takes a sharp inhale, trying to compose himself.
“how can i do that and leave them with pain too…? no matter what it takes, i will live my life with my ____ for a very long time.”
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and when Jake makes a post about MSG you will never hear from me again
#what if dusty was on the other side of the stage and caught a photo of the twin moment and that’s the photo Jake uses#(sorry Val)#k now I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep because I’m so proud of these boys
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kinda crazy but…
im gay for you
:o no way i’m also gay for u <3
#also i’m fucking exhausted it was a long ass day of robot#i broke down crying for no reason in the middle of my last tech interview for drama#because i was so fucking stressed abt hosting the robotics comp this weekend and waiting on college decisions#and also two of my friends were like in the hospital at the time#one bc they hadn’t eaten in like a week because of an ed and we’re doing really badly#and the other because they had to get stitches bc of sh#but i couldn’t really explain alllll of that to my drama teacher#anyway#i did hear back from one of the schools tho!!!!! and i got in!!!!!!#but they didn’t give me as much money as i would have needed to commit there#so like i probably won’t end up going even tho i really loved the school and it’s kinda my top choice#and also the accepted students days all conflict and i ended up signing up for one that would mean id miss the end of district champs#for robotics if we qualify#which my hopes are vaguely high this year#but now i’m gonna have to miss part of it if we do ://///#and the other more competitive one i’m waiting on hearing from some time this weekend i’ve been checking the portal like every twenty minute#it’s really bad#anyway i’m gonna go take a shower and then go to sleep before i drive myself to another breakdown#idk why the tags of this ask was my place to say all of this but it sure was
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Wow this sucks
#I’m literally gonna cry wtf#I’ve been trying to get back into writing so I was going through some old journals and reading the poems I wrote back in 2015#and I left my favorite pages sitting on top of my notebook on my bed and my family’s dog came in while I wasn’t looking and destroyed it all#like they’re completely gone#some of the few pieces of writing from my teenage years that I’m actually proud of and wanted to revisit and it’s completely destroyed#I’ve found 2 scraps and they’ve got about 4 words in total#this was multiple pages full of writing#this is so discouraging I don’t even want to write anything now#like I started taking an online poetry workshop last week trying to push myself out of my comfort zone and maybe possibly move in the#direction of trying to get some of my poems put out there#and I’ve been in a huge writing slump for the last like year#and I was hoping this might get me out of it but now I don’t have any motivation to do it#I just wanna cry#I can’t go back to being a teenager again I can’t rewrite the way I felt back then#and now it’s really gone forever#I’m so sick and im working 3 jobs and I just want to be creative again but I’m tired#and I’m about to get hit by this giant hurricane#I’m really overwhelmed I think this was just the straw that broke the camels back#brb gonna go cry myself to sleep over lost poetry#sorry this is me venting feel free to ignore this#vent post#will probably delete after I’ve gotten more than 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep
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I just watched Ultraman: Rising and omg I was sobbing half the movie. I have no words to convey how phenomenal this movie is. Just-
*SCREAMS INTO THE VOID*
#ultraman rising#clucking nonsense#like a chicken get it?#:D#I’m just gonna go cry myself to sleep now…
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goodnight my beautiful lil dork
#I am. very afraid for this week lmao 😭#my roommate is home and I have to drop the news on her that I’m moving out#which would be very normal and understandable under most circumstances#especially in this situation because she will soon be making $30 an hour and our rent is only $550 a month lmao so she can afford it easily#but …… she is so terrible to communicate with <3 and does not like spending money <3 so I’m afraid <3#I just have to keep reminding myself that it will be worth it#I’ll be happier#I’ll be working towards my goals#I HAVE goals for once in my life LMAO#it’s going to be okay I just have to get through the bad parts first 💕#on top of that I also dread work tomorrow lmao#BUT!!!!#I had THREE SEPARATE PEOPLE contact me for photography jobs today !!!!!#one of my aunts is having me photograph her crochet pieces so she can sell them online#another aunt (who owns a popular local hangout spot) is gonna have me photograph an event at the end of the month#and I got invited to photograph a CHRISTIAN MUSIC FESTIVAL ???#LIKE OKAYYYYYY#my emotions r everywhere#and now I want 2 cry over josh being the prettiest ever like omg#anywho I am exhausted !!! love y’all sleep well
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My sister’s graduation day 😤 let’s go 👏🏽
#gosh it’s gonna be a long day and I’m running on two hours of sleep again#i only get the chance to work at night because I don’t have ✨privacy✨#and I’ve been going to bed late and waking up even more tired than usual and my mom’s been scolding me for it#and now I’ve had to tell her what I’m doing and I feel like I just gave another piece of me away again#everything I am everything I do has to be for other people#im so tired when will I give my last piece away 🥹#this was to make ME proud of ME I was doing it for myself and now I feel like it’s for her#and then she’s going to tell my dad and now it’s for him too#also I can’t even cry about it because she HAS to know why I’m upset#she keeps glancing up at me and talking to me in bits#all I have left is my emotions 🥹#anyhow sorry to start the day off so gloomy and depressing I have literally nothing to be sad about I’m very privileged#sorry you guys see me being a baby constantly 🥺 I really do have a good life and shouldn’t be complaining#here’s to a better day for us all#melifails#now i feel like a jerk subjecting you all to this😭 sorry sorry let’s move on#im gonna be a busy bee hopefully I can squeeze in a time for a nap#😭 I don’t waaaaaannnnnaaa sit for hours in the California heat MAYBE with the sun hitting us in the face#our football field is NOT kind in this way#hopefully my sister gets the shady side but even then the sun will hit us in the face eventually just not as long#im !!! excited!!!! I bought ice cream for today 👏🏽 I originally bought choco chip and minto moose tracks?? my sister loves mint flavor#so I bought mint Oreos too so she can eat them with her ice cream 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽#i assume we’re getting take out of some sort so that; ice cream; and uuuuuuu I don’t remember anything else I bought; my best friend did#bring us snacks yesterday!!! pretzels and cookies!!! so that!!!#okay brain no work no more I gotta get dressed love you muah muah muah
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#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad#i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over#and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away#i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine#but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing#right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it#i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever#i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol#every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone#when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad#i never feel like too much good. only bad.#i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like#it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to#i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time#i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good#i don’t know why anyone keeps me around#sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person#the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :)#i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable#i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all#i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself#like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time#i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day#and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess#it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk#anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better#sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine
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Finals really do something to me, especially fall semester finals. I’m not actively suicidal but I’m feeling the strong desire to just never have existed at all. So no one would remember me, you know, just like. Blink off this plane and not have to deal with stress and chronic illness and pain and the three separate fucking times I’ve got PTSD.
#well. gonna sleep now#I haven’t been eating well and I think my body is going into hibernation now I went out for dinner for a diner burger#I can still feel my blood sugar recovering an hour later#but I’ve been sleeping 4am-1pm so g-d knows if I’ll fall asleep or not#tw suicide#suicidality mention#like. I’m fine I just hate this feeling of having some horrible thing going on emotionally but I can’t actually feel it cause I’m so#dissociated from stress#like I’ll cry for a second often but I can’t get myself to properly sob for five minutes and get it out of my system#it’s horrible.#but as soon as I get this one essay done I’ll be free to see my friends and my partner after christmas#so that’ll be lovely and healing#anne speaks
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I traded in a bunch of stuff at my local used media store and I lost the ticket with almost $200 worth of in store credit. I was gonna use that money to buy myself a used 3DS with for Christmas.
#just super shitty#that was gonna be my Christmas#my family’s going on vacation soon so yes christmas but it’s delayed a month#I was gonna play games this Christmas#I’m just gonna cry myself to sleep now
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Me realizing that when I’m doing it in the privacy of my own room with nobody around there’s no possible way I’m faking it or being over dramatic for attention.
#idk why but I have this irrational fear of ppl thinking im faking shit for attention#and it’s really not bad if I can power through it#it’s only recently that I’ve realized the fact that I force myself to power through it is why it’s that bad#like with shit with migraines saying actually yeah I’m dizzy rn and ily but if I hear ur voice I’m gonna cry oh I’m already crying#anyways current situation is I’m clumsy as hell tripped over a chord and landed directly on my palm which hurt my wrist#and imma big bitch y’all it was not light force…#oh actually my palm is stinging as I write this is this going to be an issue#it’s not a break or sprain or whatever but it hurts bad lol#mobility is not impeded in the slightest#anyways point is for a second I said ow out loud got irritated with myself bc they’re gonna think ur faking and realized the they#in question doesnt exist and it does actually hurt that bad#it’s ok tho sleep it off if it’s bad tomorrow it’s bad bad ig#but for now it’s just sheer ignorance 👎🏾
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