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byulsgrease · 3 years ago

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if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

#did not know how to end oops #mamamoo x reader #hwasa x reader #mamamoo hwasa #ahn hyejin #hwasa fanfic #hwasa imagines #hwasa #mamamoo fic #mamamoo imagines #mamamoo scenarios #girl group fanfic #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #kpop #kpop fic #gg fic #gg fanfic #requested

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heyitsani · 4 years ago

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Feel the Adrenaline Moving

Keep on Truckin’ AU Part 1

Word Count: 2494

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: Robincest (obviously even if they’re not siblings in this au), mentions of gunshot wound, mentions of past child abuse by a bad parent

Pairing: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd

Summary: Food Truck Owner!Jason and Police Officer!Dick have spent the last couple of months flirting with each other the few times a week Dick orders food from Jason's food truck. When they finally decide to go on a date and Dick stands him up, Jason is left wondering if he had been wrong about the other man all along.

Notes: This idea stemmed from the idea of a no capes AU where Jason owns a food truck with Artemis and Dick is a GPD officer who is obsessed with his food. Dick and Tim were both adopted by Bruce and Damian is still his son through Talia, a failed relationship years prior where she never told him she was pregnant. I have not introduced the other members of the batfam (though Babs is an exception because she’s mentioned as an ex and still friend in the current installment I’m working on), but have their introductions to the story already planned out.

Jason is softer in this AU because while he has some childhood trauma, it’s not nearly as bad as his canonical trauma. So I’ve been exploring the side of him that could have been, if you get what I mean.

Also, if you do not like the pairing then just move along. Or block me. I can and will block any rude or hateful comments. I have both traditional and nontraditional siblings and don’t need to hear about how I don’t support adoptive families. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. Just because I write murder doesn’t mean I support murder. Capisce? Good.

You can also read this on AO3 here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is stupid. How do we even know this is the right truck?”

“Don’t play stupid, Harper. He was extremely specific. Egg rolls made with things like bacon mac or Reubens. Hot guy, dark hair, white streak in front, and arms to die for. This is obviously him.”

Jason raised an eyebrow at the two arguing redheads, curious why they were looking for him and his truck. Thankfully, the rush had passed and now it would just be the stragglers until they closed up shop for the day.

The pair turned to face the order window to find Jason there, arms folded on the counter and an amused smirk on his face.

“Jason?”

“So it would appear. That was an oddly specific description. Can I help you guys?” He watched the pair exchange a look before the more rugged looking of the two stepped forward.

“We’re here because of Dick.” And of all the scenarios running through his head, Dick had not been involved in any of them.

“I see,” Jason said sharply, smirk fading to a scowl. “He has made his point perfectly clear without sending his harem of redheads to clarify.”

“What point?”

“Harem of redheads?” But Jason just raised an eyebrow.

“Ah fuck, Wally. Dick was right.” The man looked to Wally and then back to Jason. “Look, I’m Roy Harper and this is Wally West. Dickie is our best friend and whatever point you think he’s making, he’s not. Trust me.”

“He’s in the hospital. Got shot in the chest on the job two weeks ago and just regained consciousness yesterday,” Wally relayed, and Jason had to grip the counter to keep upright.

“He…Is he going to be okay?” And wow did he feel like an ass.

“Yeah. Doctors said maybe two more days before he can go home. It was bad there for a while but they kept him in the medically induced coma so he could heal without his usual bullshit of getting up too early. But look,” Roy crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes at Jason, “You need to come to Gotham General. Once he was fully awake, he started freaking out about you. Something about a date, missed calls and texts, and you hating him.”

“Jesus, Roy. Dickie said to just tell him what happened. Not to guilt the guy into a visit.” Wally smacked Roy’s upper arm with the back of his hand. “Though, yeah,” he turned back to Jason, “Dick would probably weep tears of joy if you showed up. He was pretty wrecked.”

Jason wasn’t quite sure what to say, still working the fact that Dick had been shot and hadn’t just ditched him. He had spent the last two weeks wondering what it was he had done. He had gone over that last in-person interaction and the text message thread, wracking his brain for any kind of hint. And the first week had tried to text and call but had been met with silence. So, the past week he had convinced himself that Dick had just been fucking with him all along and never meant any of it. Now he was hearing the other man had nearly died and Jason had been the ass who had thought the man was just ghosting him.

“Did we break him?”

“Shut it, West. Look man, he’s in room 212 at GG. Give us a last name to go with Jason and we’ll put you on the visitor’s list.”

“Visitor’s list?”

“Comes with being Bruce Wayne’s son.” Jason gave Wally a weird look.

“His last name is Grayson…?”

“Yeah, but Bruce adopted him. Took him in after-“ Roy covered Wally’s mouth with his hand and glared at the other man.

“Shut the fuck up, West,” Roy growled and hell if that didn’t just pique Jason’s interest. “Now give us an order of whatever is Dickhead’s favorite so we can get a smile on his pathetic face.” Jason stood frozen for a moment before waving away Roy’s credit card and hanging the closed sign. He quickly whipped up an order of the bacon mac ‘n cheese rolls and an order of churros before bagging it all up.

“My last name is Todd. Get me on the list,” Jason said as he stepped out of the truck and handed the bag of food over. “I gotta clean this shit up because hazard and all that, but I’ll come by after I’m done.”

“Good,” was all Roy said as he grabbed the bag and turned to leave.

“Nice to meet you man! See you around, hopefully,” Wally called out as Roy grabbed his arm and dragged him away.

Jason wasn’t sure what he had been expecting once he finally got to Dick’s room at the hospital, but a fancy and very private suite was not it. And even less than that, a fifteen or sixteen-year-old kid fussing over Dick while Dick just smiled at the kid fondly.

“Dames, stop,” Dick laughed softly, reaching out to stop the kid from messing with the pillows again. “I’m good. Just go meet Jon already.”

“Tt,” the kid responded before turning to grab his bag from the chair next to Dick’s bag. When he tensed all over, Jason knew he had been spotted. “Who the hell are you? This is supposed to be a private room, not some free for all.” Wow.

“Jason,” Dick’s surprised voice cut in. Jason looked from the kid to Dick and practically melted at the look on his face. Surprised, yes, but the warmth was there and god if Jason didn’t want to just cross the room and press his lips to the other mans.

“Dick, I’m so glad you’re okay.” He took two steps into the room before the kid was standing in front of him, almost the same height as him but much leaner compared to Jason’s bulk. Raising a brow, Jason stared the kid down and waited.

“Dami, stop. This is Jason, my friend who owns the food truck.” The kid didn’t move or acknowledge Dick’s words. “Damian, knock it off.” Authority slipped into Dick’s tone and Jason wanted to smirk in victory when Damian tensed but backed off. “Jon is waiting,” Dick reminded him gently and with a grunt and one last glare sent to Jason, Damian was storming out of the room.

“Fun kid,” Jason commented, looking back toward the door before closing the rest of the space between him and Dick’s bedside. “Jesus, Dick. I almost dropped when Roy and Wally told me what happened. I’m so fucking glad you’re okay.”

“They didn’t guilt you into coming here, did they? They can be a bit much at the same time when you don’t know them.” Shaking his head, Jason tugged the chair closer to the bed and sat down. Without allowing himself to overthink it, he grabbed Dick’s hand in his and held it with both of his. The smile he got in return was well worth it.

“Nah, they just told me what happened. Said you’d like it if I stopped by and asked for my last name.” Dick nodded and sunk a little deeper into the pillows piled up behind him. “So, Damian is your…?”

“Oh. Brother. I know those idiots let slip that Bruce Wayne is my adoptive father, but Damian is Bruce’s only actual blood son. Tim and I were both adopted after our parents died.” Jason wanted to know more about that, but the look on Dick’s face told him he wasn’t quite ready to let him in on that darkness.

“He’s a very intense kid. How old is he?”

“Sixteen going on sixty,” Dick laughed. “He’s a good kid, despite the glare and protectiveness. He didn’t have the easiest beginning. B didn’t even know about him until he was eight. Lesson learned: protection is never a guarantee.” Jason laughed at that and shook his head.

“So, his mom was not a good parent?”

“The only person worse than her was her father.” Dick’s face turned from amused to angry faster than Jason realized he could and he was surprised at the fire there. “When LA Social Services called and told Bruce about Damian, he was…it was bad.” Jason squeezed Dick’s hand and the other man gave him a thankful smile. “Tim and I came from homes that knew love. Damian, I don’t think he had ever known love of any kind until he came to Gotham.”

“Poor kid.” Dick nodded sadly. “But he seemed pretty fond of you in the few seconds before he noticed me.”

“Yeah,” Dick agreed, and the smile was back on his face. “Bruce is a great man and a good father, but he’s not the most emotionally available man. He struggled with Damian when he came to live with him. Tim was a teenager already and I had moved out on my own, so B was pretty much on his own. But then he called me one night and begged me to help because he didn’t know if he was just screwing up Damian more than he already was.”

Well, fuck. How shitty was it that a man could tell he was not the best option for his own child’s mental and emotional health but that his older son was? Jason couldn’t imagine feeling so poorly about himself and that said something because he didn’t like himself most days.

“I moved back home and took a sabbatical from work in order to help. It was hard and there were plenty of times I would shut myself in my room and ask what the hell I was trying to accomplish, but Damian eventually improved.” Letting out a sigh, Dick looked down at Jason with a hint of sadness. “I think sometimes B wishes he hadn’t called me in. He and Dami…they’re not close. They respect each other, and B loves him like he loves Tim and me, but when Dami does something to be proud of it’s me who he comes to.”

“He views you as a father more than his actual father.” Dick hummed and looked over toward the window, avoiding commenting on it. “Is that a point of contention between you and Bruce?”

“Not really, at least not that he allows it to be. But like I said, he’s not good with the emotions. Its just, sometimes I can see regret so plainly written on his face when I’m talking to Dami. It’s hard to miss sometimes.”

“And that makes you feel guilty.” A statement, not a question.

“Yeah…” Dick’s voice is quiet, but Jason knows him well enough now to hear the regret.

“Have you talked to Damian about it before?” Dick shook his head and looked back to Jason with a curious look. “I was just wondering what he thought of it all.”

Jason can tell Dick is mulling over the idea of asking Damian about the fact that he viewed Dick as his dad and not Bruce, but he can also see the moment when Dick rejects the idea for now. Not that Jason blames him. The kid had been intense, and he had come across as smart, so part of him probably knew. If it had been Jason in Damian’s place, he probably would have some resentment toward his actual father for basically pawning him off to his brother when it got to be too much.

“This was so not the conversation I thought we would have when I came,” Jason offered as an out of the current topic. He could see the appreciation in Dick’s smile and the slight shift of his shoulders as he relaxed.

“What did you expect?”

“Profuse apologies because your redheads had made it seem like you were pretty worried that I hated you.” Dick laughed hard, holding his middle where Jason assumed were some of the wounds that had caused this whole mess.

“They made it clear that you weren’t mad. I figured I could save the apologies for when I wasn’t laid up in the hospital.”

“Fair enough. Though,” Jason leaned forward and looked at Dick closely, “you don’t owe me any apologies. This situation isn’t anywhere near being your fault.”

“Still upset I missed our date. I had the whole thing planned.”

“Well, you can go through with that plan when you are back to full mobility. Until then, I’d be happy to accommodate to your situation.” Dick’s smile was practically blinding, and Jason squeezed his hand. The intense desire to kiss the other man hit him suddenly but not too surprisingly. “I’d really like to kiss you right now.” The words came out before he could stop them.

“I’d really like you to kiss me,” Dick responded, smile growing even brighter. And Jason wished he could figure out how he managed to be so beautiful. But he would have to try and figure that out later. For now, he just focused on releasing Dick’s hand and pressing a palm to his cheek as he leaned forward and pressed their mouths together.

And god if it didn’t feel like coming home after being gone for years.

Dick’s lips were slightly chapped from the dry, hospital air and his breath was a little stale but the whole thing was so utterly perfect that Jason could feel his chest tighten with the emotion. Keeping in mind his still healing chest, Jason ended the kiss sooner than he would have liked. Pulling back, he pressed one quick kiss to the corner of Dick’s mouth before pulling back even further to look at the other man. What he found made him want to ignore the chest wound Dick had and just dive right back in.

Dark lashes fluttering against golden cheek bones and lips parted just slightly. He hoped he never forgot this image.

“I can’t wait until this heart rate monitor won’t alert everyone to just how much you affect me,” Dick muttered, opening his eyes to reveal sapphire rings around black pupils blown wide with lust.

“Just focus on healing that chest wound. Then I’ll happily let you figure out just how much of me you can and can’t handle.”

“Deal,” Dick whispered, pushing up to press their mouths together one last time before falling back into the pillows again.

Jason chuckled and ran his fingers along Dick’s cheek bone before dropping back down into the chair he had previously been sitting in and letting his hands fall into his lap.

“So, Wally and Roy aren’t my only redhead friends and the fact that you called just the two of them a harem was so accurate I thought I had pulled my stitches from laughing so hard when they told me.” Jason looked at him for a moment before laughing loudly and shaking his head.

“Well then the name is definitely sticking around.”

“I’ll be sure to warn the others.”

And Jason couldn’t help but chuckle as he reached for Dick’s hand again.

#dick grayson #jason todd #jaydick #fanfic #ao3 #nightwing #red hood #roy harper #wally west #dick's harem of redheads #au: keep on truckin'#food truck owner jason todd #officer grayson #damian wayne #dick is damian's real dad #don't @ me #batman au #batfam

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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House of Mouse Review: Not So Goofy or The Ungoofy Is Upon Us!

Welcome back to the RIDE OF THE THREE CABLLEROS. And i’m hitting the ground running to continue the trek after some lessened activity over the holiday weekend. Especially with Christmas season already there.. and.. things to take care of.

Your time will come, you blighted hell of an episode. But no today we’re talking about something actually good! It’s Not So Goofy! It’s back on in to the house of mouse as this was only one year after the previous episode. We’re on to season 2 though frankly i’d have to re-watch more of the show to spot a difference. The show really didn’t change all that much between seasons. The only difference i’ve heard of is Pete is ENTIRELY absent this season, so my long spiel on him being on the show continues to be worthless and I continue to not regret it. But since I covered most of the stuff I knew about the series and how much I liked it last time we can dive straight into the episode> And this one was a treat for me as Goofy was my faviorite watching this show back in the day and is tied with donald now as my faviorite of the classic characters.. not that it’s hard competition but still I love both. Goofy is kind, clumsy, and a loving father, he’s who we are and who we want to be all in one. As with last time, which you can find on the disney tab on my blog, i’ll be reviewing the host segment seperate from the short’s for coherency’s sake. So with that in mind...

NOT SO GOOFY: Hot Goofy on Beast Action We open with Mickey intorducing the show and everyone chanting house of mouse, house of mouse, which makes me want a version of the show that’s a disney fight club, with over the top smash bros or scott pilgrim style battles. God that’s a project I never completed.. reviewing that series... maybe some day i’ll just start from scratch and do that.. HINT. Point is instead of Disney Fight Club, we get goofy breaking a bunch of shit, because this episode he’s extra clumsy. Though thanks tot his I am reminded the HOM’s jaintoral staff is the brooms from fantasia, which is a nice touch and we get a nice bit of Minnie sending all of them after Goofy keeps breaking stuff. So despite Mickey being the one interrupted constantly, everyone else is hte one to point it out, Minnie politley everyone else just sorta barging in. I was going to give out about them giving out when none of them were effected but.. really bad wait service really dose impact them all: Donald is co owner so if goofy injures someone he has to help pay the setlement, Minnie runs the staff and has had to have her brooms work double to clean up, Hoarace has to clean up structural damage, Daisy is guest services so she has to hear about it, Clarabelle only heard a rumor and Gus is chef so he has to remake the food. So i’m sympathetic to all of them.. except Gus. Gus your only gimmicks are your lazy, you eat things, and in animations case you only communicate by honking obnoxiously. You don’t get to insult a comedic genuis for doing his bit.

But Goofy overhears this and is upset, saying they want him to be the oppsitie of goofy, ungoofy. I mean technically your right, but an ungoofy would be something more like this.

“I WAIT INSIDE YOUR HOUSE UNTIL THE CRESENT DAWN THEN ONE BY ONE YOU’LL ALL BE GONE. “

See nothing like goofy. But no ungoofy in this episode’s case is just goofy acting refined and posh. And to help with that after the first cartoon, aka half the episode as i’m now realizing is standard, is...

I will never get tired of doing that. Rob Paulsen is back as Jose, and does a MUCH BETTER job this time. Though really that’s also because he has more to actually work with this time, so he can actually play the character. Him being a white guy playing a Brazilian is still unfortunate, still not his fault, and was covered more last time. We’ll get into how Jose helps goofy after the cut.

So Jose helps goofy try to ungoofy himself.. which as established isn’t how that works but hey. So we get a funny montage of Goofy learning the ropes of being significant, getting a turkey on his head, and backslapping jose so hard he flies into the next room and goofy wonders where he is. I don’t have much to add, it’s just funny. It’s why reviewing comedy is hard. Besides being subjective sometimes that’s the most you can say.

So it works, and Goofy helps everyone in a dignified manner.. and this is where the plot starts to slip up slightly, as for starters Goofy’s apperance is the same, he’s just closing his eyes a lot. He’s also not really doing anything wrong... the closest he gets is massaging bugs out of the beasts hair when he has an itch.

And that’s because he didn’t ask if they have an open marraige.. I mean they probably do, Belle’s open minded and beast has needs, but still, he should’ve asked. Otherwise it’s going great. As for where it goes wrong.. it’s because he dosen’t really DO anything bad. He isn’t an uptight jerkass about it or anything, he isn’t mean or tyranical to the customers or dosen’t transition to that he’s just.. not himself. Which isn’t good, btu the most he does in that regard is just not give the goofy laugh. Mickey and Minnie just suddenly kind of decided “Whelp this is bad let’s fix that”. And Disney would do this better, one of the Mickey Mouse shorts had Minnie, swooning over a sophisicated gentelman type on tv, give Mickey finishing lessons which turned him into a snobbish monster who broke up with her for daring to serve Bologna and not having a waiter. That WORKED.. and not just because we got Donald and Goofy kidnapping Mickey. But because we were shown there was nothing wrong with him in the first place, and there was something bad with the change.

Here Goofy’s just.. compitent at his job. he’s not cruel to say max or clarabelle, he’s just refined. He should be himself, i’m entirely on board with that, but he’s not shown being worse off. I’m not saying he should stay posh, just give him a clear reason why his life is worse off this way is all. It’s basic storytelling. But since Jose can’t just.. undo his training because he dosen’t know how they bring in Panchito! And we get another delightful song as Panchito tries to give a good lesson on being yourself with the help of his fellow cabs by explaning his long ass middle name... with Rob Paulsen’s voice. Yeah while Rob dosen’t play Panchito outside of song, he does end up voicing him for the number, likely because of his signature rapid fire delivery in music, but still does a GREAT job at that too. Serously I wasn’t just trying to placate people calling him a legend last time, he REALLY is fantastic, he was just given nothing to work with and here the diffrence shows as the song is really catchy, really beautifully animated and really fun and really plays to Rob’s strengths. Again casting a white man as a Latino is .. pretty sketchy, but it’s not Rob’s fault and i’m sure if Carlos was even offered the song, or even if he wansn’t, Rob apologized for it and made sure it was okay> Wether it actually was I don’t know but I can’t genuinely see Rob Paulson as the kind of guy to be racisit or steal rolls or any of that stuff. It’s likely they just knew he could sing fast and wanted to do that and dind’t think through implications.

The song dosen’t quite work so they play a short, and when that fails Mickey closes the show sincerly thanking everyone and apologizing to Goofy. Goofy is restored.. horay? What do you think ungoofy?

“SOON THE APOTHEOSIS WILL BE APON THEE AND ALL WILL BE GOOF. ALL WILL BE GOOF. “ Oh you always say that Final Thoughts on Not So Goofy Wraparound: Not terrible, but it’s really thin plot wise. but joke and song wise it’s REALLY good, so overall i’d say i’ts just okay> Not a great or memorable plot, or an original one really, btu the use of the cabs is FAR better this time around, the song is really damn good, and there are some good jokes, so overall it works. Like the last one the wraparound is nothing specail, but it’s still deeply entertaining. Speaking of entertaining, let’s talk shorts.

Roller Coaster Painters: It’s one of those old “Mickey, Donald and Goofy” have a buisness deals, where all are hired to paint a rollercoaster with the person who does the most getting a free pass for life and Donald naturally being the only one who cares. A paint war insues between Donald and Mickey... mostly because Donald wants the prize real bad and Mickey wants to “give him a run for his money” instead of just helping him because he’s a dick I guess? I dunno, but it escalates to them paiting each other and, in my favorite part, Donald stealing shit from the park to create a paint arsenal for himself, forging the prize to get his revenge. Fun paint base fighting ensues, and Goofy inevitably wins and rips the thing. SImple, but really charming with really fluid and wonderful animation helping accenutate the hyjinks. Really good slaptstick stuff and a VAST improvment over the last episode’s longer short.

Goofy’s Extreme Sports Wakeboarding: Just a fun, silly skit of Goofy wakeboarding, my faviorite bit being him doing the tantrum, which his him doing a child’s tantrum in mid-air. What was your faviorite bit UnGoofy?

“BEHOLD MY SEED, THE SEED OF YOUR DOOM, THE SEED OF ALL WORLDS AND THE SEED OF ALL BLOOMS!”

Awwwwww.... he has a kid now.

How to Wash Dishes: Another How to Bit. Not as strong as the last one but still fun and throughly relatable as Goofy’s a dishwasher, which having been one twice now, I can relate to his surly disposition at the narrator guy talking it up. The Narrator then.. has goofy run up credit card debt because he’s a terrible person, hijinks ensue, and Goofy ends up.. washing dishes. Overall a fun short, and again relatable as Washing Dishes is not great. Not quite as good as the other two, but still enjoyable because well. it’s goofy after all.

OveralL Thoughts: This was more like it. While the plot of the main segment was kind of thin and nonsensical in places... it worked because this is more of a comedy show and the wraparounds are more focused on jokes and crossover gags than a real plot, and worked SLIGHTLY better. The shorts were also really great, making this a hell of a lot more fun to watch. Highly recommend it to any cabs or house of mouse fan or if your intrested in house of mouse, this is a good one to try out. If you liked this review, reblog it, like it, comment etc etc, and if you have an episode of house of mouse, another disney show, or just another show in general you’d like me to cover you can comission episodes by sending me a direct message on here or an ask to get my discord to hash things out there. Right now comissions are ONLY 3 bucks through monday, so get em now while their hot! And until next time there’s always another rainbow. NEXT TIME: It’s Don Rosa again! Horary!.

#house of mouse #goofy goof #jose carioca #panchito pistoles #the three caballeros #mickey mouse #minnie mouse #donald duck #clarabelle cow #gus goose #not so goofy #reviews #comission

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xsecretblastsx · 4 years ago

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2x03 - The Dark Night

I'm actually surprised this recap came out faster than I thought it would, that's rare but I'm glad, also this episode is a fun one, or rather that's how I remember it.

Anyway, as usual recap under the cut:

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

I know AC is a thing but it's kind of weird to have GG voice over be like: the last days of summer and the heat... and then there's this shot of Chuck drinking scotch in pajamas that look more suited for fall/winter

So I guess we're still on the Dan and Serena can't keep their hands of each other train.

Poor Blair, the Lord ain't into that, gotta love her for mentioning that Atonement scene in the library... she could totally rock that green dress.

Blair a delicate little flower, please. I do like how it's a constant the various fact that all her boyfriends never really got her, and have this fake image of her.

Jenny starring in her own version of the Devil wears prada, slaving it all around NYC

The Nate and the Duchess scene are giving me the creeps.

Compared to her season 1 looks, I'm kind of liking Vanessa's outfits so far.

No one likes to hear the hard truths of life, but Blair's words to Serena about her relationship with Dan were really spot on.

Fun fact about myself: purple is my favorite color. I guess that's why like Chuck's robe even if it makes him look like this weird junior version of Hugh Hefner.

This is the first time we see the minis!!! I loved everytime they popped up like mini cosplayers.

That outfit of Blair is one of my all time faves. Particularly the colors of the skirt

Oh Nate, even if he knows Blair's motives are never pure, he stills accepts her invitation. Go figures.

This has got to be Chuck and Serena's most funny conversation ever. Both of their expressions during the whole thing are hilarious.

"I don't have a romantic body in my body. Least of all that one" Honestly who came up with these lines 😂😂

Looking back there were many sings of how obsessed Dan was with public opinion and his weird behaviors' for example take this throwaway line from Rufus: he still reading those Dan and Serena should they or not threads. Like what?

Dan: turns out I'm an ass but a passionate minority thinks I'm just and idiot. Yep pretty much the public opinion nowadays too.

This is so one of my fave chair lines! "The thing that always fascinated me about you: the cool exterior, the fire below" 😉

The whole scene honestly, from the way her eyes roll back to his smug smile at the end 🔥🔥🔥

Considering what happens in the second half of this season is kind of interesting to note that so far every single interaction between Blair are Nate is really passive aggressive.

Gotta give it to Vanessa even though she's freaked out after finding out Nate is sleeping with Catherine, she stills gives him a chance to explain

That scene between Catherine and Blair was actually good, because they both are right, Catherine can't stop Nate from doing what he wants, and there are things that Blair can't give up on, even if she thinks so.

Is there an emergency box for Serena Van der Woodsen? Well she lives there douche. But even if there was, what's the problem with that?

The whole Jenny & Eleanor storyline makes me feel lowkey sad for Blair, like this epiaode shouldn't Eleanor be at that party? It was parents/students thing, but Eleanor is at her atelier accepting from Jenny the kind of honest commentary she would never take from Blair

It's almost depressing to see Blair throwing herself at that Marcus guy

Chuck's "fake" accent, except it wasn't 🤭

And finally!!! All that pent up sexual frustration had to went somewhere

I'm living of Serena having moments like this one: "Fine, you know what? Life is not fair because it doesn't fit with the way you, Dan Humphrey, think it should be. But why are you always right?" Because this is it, the real crux of it, and why they keep having the same fight

Im so done with the Marcus storyline, because yes she wants his tittle, but she ain't also wrong because he kept treating her in a way that was so meh. Poor Chuck, though, but then again he kind of puts himself into this situations by ignoring his feelings at first and then they explode in his face anyway

I felt for Vanessa the whole episode, not used to that.

This Dan and Serena break up is so frustrating to watch because basically they're ending because Dan just won't meet her halfway. She's not asking him to give up all his ideals, only that he don't judge her for who she is.

I feel like Vanessa was more understanding to Nate's situation than Dan could have ever been with Serena.

For an episode that started quite sunny and happy it sure had a sad ending. Almost everyone ends up feeling pretty miserable.

This episode was one I remember mostly for that Chuck and Blair scene at that party were he's trying to seduce her, also the whole blockade thing was hilarious, this time around however while I still love those Chuck and Blair bits, I did find myself getting more invested in Nate and Vanessa and even more surprisingly on the argument between Dan and Serena, their break up scene really frustrated me.

Let's go first with the Nate, Catherine and Vanessa storyline. This is such a messed up plot, then again most of Nate’s plot that involved his family had a tendency to be that way. I may not like the details sometimes but what I do like about is how these kind of plots really showed the amount of pressure Nate’s family put on him. At this point in the show Nate’s only seventeen and yet he has to find a way to keep his mom’s head above water, so he falls prey to this woman who is just awful. Is no wonder he wanted to be with Vanessa again because she’s literally a breeze of fresh air, so far removed from his messed up world which is exactly what he needs, and yet is inevitable that she gets caught up in all the scheming and nastiness in the end. She lies to him in order to help him which is sad because help him still leaves him as prey to this woman, but that’s what I really like about this plot, Vanessa’s willingness to be there for Nate and also how understanding she was of the situation.

Vanessa, same as Dan, tends to be judgmental of others and comes from a background that has a more black and white view of morality, she was also raised by a family who despises everything the UES side represents. So imagine what it must have been for her to find out that Nate is sleeping with an older woman for money, that goes against her morals and her beliefs, she’s disgusted by the situation, and yet when Nates begs her to let him explain, she does and she ends up while not exactly approving of the situation, he understands why he’s doing it, and she tells hims that this can only bad for him and that whe should stop it, becaause he’s better than this, and she says it mainly because she in fact is concerned about him and see the best in him. This is why I like her relationship with Nate, because I feel they gave each other some needed perspective, through him she learns that not everything is black and why and that’s there a reason of why people does certain things, and through Vanessa Nate’s gets in touch with a much saner world were he can be himself.

On the other hand, we have Dan and Serena, who for the last two episodes have been avoiding the fact that they have issues and they must be faced if they want to move forward, and it’s pretty easy to see why they were putting it off, because the moment they do it obvios that they can’t really solve them. The source of the conflict is the same as always, they keep having the same fight, except to me there’s a difference this time around, at Bart’s brunch and at the wedding Dan’s issues with Serena’s world were also framed with the fact that he discovered something about Serena he feels he can’t deal with, it annoy me both occasions at the Brunch because they had barely met and he was mad because she wasn’t the girl he thought almost as if she had deceive him, and it was like dude you guys met like yesterday, chill. At the wedding he had more of a right to be mad, because she had lied to him a lot, so one could understand his resentment with the UES in the sense that it had shaped Serena to be the kind of person that acts wildly and lies and whatever else he wanted to claimed. This time however he gets mad because the elevator situation serve as reminder of how she’s “more important” than him because she’s part of the 1%. They start arguing literally because they won’t help him as quickly as if she was her. Is it unfair? Yeah, but If we’re goint go be objective about it the mere existence of a 1% priviledge class is unfair to the the other 99%. But that’s life, and the majority of us have to deal with that, and that doesn’t mean we can be assholes to people that have been nice to us.

When he meets Serena he already knows she’s an UES princess, so if he really has a “eat the rich” mentality, why did he got involved with her? And is not like Serena was condecending or mean to him because he wasn’t rich as her, and yet he acts as if he had dated S2 Blair who was an elitist bitch to him every single time they interacted. He may also be not extremely rich as Serena, but he wasn’t poor at all. Correct me if I’m wrong but the kind of loft he lives in, at Dumbo ain’t cheap. So the way Dan acts if he had dated said a girl from a lower income background she had the right to be a total bitch to him, because he was more priviliged? Serena herself says it the best: "Fine, you know what? Life is not fair because it doesn't fit with the way you, Dan Humphrey, think it should be. But why are you always right?” and this is prove that theirs is not a relationship problem, is exclusively a Dan problem. Serena says to him she can’t change who she is, and is not like she’s saying I won’t change the way I act, is not related to that, because their “problem” literally refers to who she is: her last name, the family she was born to. To that Dan says, I can’t change who I am either, and that's the thing Dan! hers is a matter of being, his is a matter of thinking, and she can’t change her family, but you can change the way you think, and it’s not even a drastic change, he doesn’t have to change his ideals, rather just be understanding and accept her for who she is. If one thinks about i Vanessa did a better job with Nate on that topic this episode than Dan ever did, so it can be done, it can be resolved, he just refuses to do it Serena doest thing through the series that definately add to their problems, their parents situation doesn’t help either, but this episode really shows that the root of their issues is Dan.

Finally, there’s Chuck and Blair, who keep having the most amazing chemistry ever, and the sexual tension in their scenes is off the charts. This episode really relays on the fact of the amount of desire they feel for each other, which seems super fitting at this point in the series because while it’s clear they have deep feelings for each other, desire was what first brought them together, yet they both believe this episode that desire isn’t as exclusive as feelings, it’s easier to feel desire and so they think they can easily find it in other people, but what they discover this episode is that sadly that wasn’t the case. In Blair’s case it has to do in part with the fact that Marcus doesn’t really sees her that way, which makes me sad because here she is again dating a guy who refuses to be passionate about her, but even if he did, she’s forcing the passion, is not really there and can she honestly live like that? Like something is missing? Sadly, no. Oh she’s going to try, not only this season in fact, but is never going to fully substitute the one she has with Chuck.

Chuck faces the same issue, in quite a very literal way, which is hilarious. Chuck Bass playboy extraordinarie is suffering from a “blockage”, a very PG-13 way of saying that he can’t get it up, which is obviously a big tragedy for a guy like him, that amuses Serena to no end even if she can’t quite believe it. Anyway, this is the way that Chuck learns that feelings can win over desire, and that ther is more to sex than just a momentary physical pleasure, which is something he really need it to learn. As long as he can frame what he feels for Blair as mere desire, nothing beyond really good chemistry, is easier for him to see his pursuing of her as only a matter of seduction, easier to ingore that it hurts that she’s with someone else, and his regret over the fact that this whole situation was his own doing, at the end he finally admits to himself that is more than seduction, which is why I believe all his plots from here on are more based on getting her to go to him, not because she desires him, but because she needs him. But that’s for the next episode.

Random bits I’ve noticed:

Because later on this show got to the point of being like Chuck had no culture whatsover, and as such Blair couldn’t possibly have any intellectual talk with him, I would like to point out that he mentions madame butterfly as a reference to the Japanesse flight attendant, which means he knows the opera. And I can totally picture him, listening to opera from time to time just because, he’s dramatic and larger than life sometimes. It fits him.

He also mentions Little Lord Fauntleroy which is a children book, and I like to believe he at least got one decent nanny while growing up and that she gave it to him.

Finally a pic of the minis, because I love them

#gossip girl #gossip girl recap #gossip girl rewatch #2x03 #the dark night

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zackhq-blog · 5 years ago

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well hello !! you just saw me yesterday, but this time i’m coming at you with my second muse !! now look - i told myself i wasn’t going to have two, but he came to my mind after creating chunja and i loved them both too much to choose !! so without further ado, i present to you my complete opposite actual baby zachary “zack” choi !! he’s in kdi & has way too much going on. but anyways you can click here for his profile, and under the cut is some info on him, i tried to make his shorter, i swear !! and i forgot to say on her’s, but like this if you’re interested in some plotting !! i can’t wait to interact with you all.~

his full name is zachary taeho choi, taeho being his korean/middle name ! but he hates zachary because it’s so formal and he definitely is not - so zack is both his stage name and preferred name since practically...always !!

so !! his story actually begins in la, california. his parents split shortly after he was born so while he sees his dad from time to time, his mom has been the main one supporting him both financially & emotionally, so she’s really his only active parental figure ??

this is a big reason why he’s so maternal and emotionally transparent ?? the toxic masculinity just didn’t pass over to him bc his mom always taught him how to be in tune with his emotions, embrace them, and just to care for everyone freely !! which is a big reason why he’s so affectionate now.

he’s a second gen korean american and was raised by a pretty american mom !! his parents never learned korean and therefore didn’t teach him, which is why he struggled so much to adjust when he got here !

also the only child, so if you wonder why he’s always so eager around the kdi boys and referring to them as his brothers - there you go !! he always wanted siblings !!

totally irrelevant fact but he was such a skater boi back in la and will kill for a chance to show some of his tricks nowadays !! he’s just like....begging someone to ask him to skate lmao !! but since he doesn’t really have the chance now he just rolls around in his hoverboard because he is a legitimate child !

but look - this boy has aaaalways loved to rap and sing. way before so!ar, kdi, any of it ! his mom loves music too, and he grew up surrounded by it in la, so quickly grew attached to it ! also loves attention, which just meant he was a little performing machine wherever he meant !! i’m saying dancing down the grocery aisles at five years old to grocery store music type of extra everyone

but his interest for kpop didn’t really peak until later on ! he tried out for a middle through high performing arts school when he got to the 6th grade ! fun fact he performed look at me now and they thought he was a joke rip...but what got him in was singing stereo hearts !! don’t you love the early 2010s everyone

anyways he got in for singing !! and there was just like ... a wave of kpop stans wanting to be like idols there !! at first he was really put off & a little weirded out because he’d never been into it but !!

for a showcase these girls performed a kpop song ( the boys if you were curious sksk ) and baam !! he went down this endless kpop rabbit hole which hasn’t ended to this day.

so he basically his love for kpop transferred into his love for korean culture ! he wanted to know more about his origins, so got into the language, history & all that. so around this time was when he contemplated traveling to the country ! but never expected to move there, or anything.

it was only right before christmas of his junior year did things start to change !! news about online video auditions for so!ar spread in his school like a w i l d f i r e. but zack really knew he wasn’t that good of a singer in comparison to his other classmates, and didn’t expect anything out of it !! but he did feel a lot more comfortable in his rap skills, so took a risk and rapped as his primary skill !

so you could imagine this boy was...confused af when he got called back !! he hadn’t even told his mom about it, or really anyone so that they wouldn’t get their hopes up. he hadn’t expected for it to go anywhere and now that it had...he didn’t really know what to do !

but when he eventually got around to telling is mom ?? she was soso excited !! she was basically .... a failed musician as a teen sksks, so she was happy to see her son have a real shot at fame. so zack was kind of like - wait slow down what’s going on ?? but she was like book the flight to korea !! right now !!

initially, the plan was for him to go for his in-person audition then spend the rest of winter break in korea with his mom, but that didn’t really work because he was chosen & given the shot to train as long as he could start right away ! he ... hadn’t expected to make it that far at all and was really at a loss of what to do since he had a whole life in la !

but after talking to his mom for a bit, she basically told him the story of how she missed out on opportunities & felt unfulfilled, so at a point he was kind of just like fine !! let’s do it !! and started the move there.

everything was fine at first - he got enrolled in a korean school, he was having fun working toward his dream, and his mom was staying nearby in an air bnb, but the move was temporary, and after a month she had to return to the states. that was when things got really hard, and really real for zack. he was only 15 at the time, barely knew any of the language, and his only family were aunts and uncles he’d barely met. it was a really rough patch in his move & probably when he was visibly the saddest !!

def considered moving back many times at this point to just feel happy again, since he had such an attachment to his old life !! but the friends he’d made made things a lot easier !

at first when he was placed in kdi he didn’t know what to expect - they had this delinquent type image to them, and zack being the babiest person ever didn’t know if he could fit it !!

and at first, he was really awkward, trying to work as well in the rougher concepts as he did the cute ones. but nowadays he’s gotten a lot better and his rap skills have helped a lot with him gaining duality, something he’s now known for !!

now for some tidbits on him !!

he’s got two fan nicknames - the meme king, which he technically gave himself on a vlive because this toddler will not stop referencing memes & vines !! and the last is zenergy, because he’s always at two extremes - either passed out sleep on the couch, or up and bouncing off the walls !! there’s no in between !!

suuuper affectionate !! sometimes it can come off as overbearing but i swear he means well. he just got a lot of love during his childhood and feels like he should pass it on !! like if someone’s teasing and is like “awww you love me !!” he’s like “yeah of course ??” also means he depends on people a lot for attention & overall validation ! just.... a whole softie when it comes to that okay

also i must mention he willingly ships himself with everyone ??

but on the other hand, a very closeted very shy/panicked bi !! like if he thinks a guy’s being serious and flirting with him ? he will freeze ! he’s just not used to the idea & just really is figuring his feelings out. but he stays having unexpected crushes because he’s a lovebug so oh well ! this is something he’ll probably struggle with for a bit, but that’s what development’s for, folks !

a whole ass momma’s boy ! he loves her with his whole heart, especially since she sees how hard she worked to support the two of them ! he has a rough time being away from her, but you can catch him facetiming her everyday !!

also v chivalrous ?? his mom would beat his ass if he didn’t use manners so you can catch him opening doors, pulling chairs back for people, all that ! a lot of people seem to think that’s all fanservice but no...he literally Cannot not do it !!

oh and his duality is a little shocking ?? but like i said before, it’s been something he’s had to work on. he struggled a lot at first especially since his korean pronunciation wasn’t up there, so it was hard for him not to be so focused on that ! but now that he’s more confident in his skills it’s easier to play up their concepts for cameras, so he can definitely switch it up for cameras nowadays ! but...turn them off and he’s a baby lamb all over again everyone

he can be very lazy ! has all the ambition but none of the energy. if he doesn’t want to do something, he can put up a whole fit about it, so kdi members beware !! just put him in his place, he’ll get over it sksksk

relating to that, he respects his kdi hyungs a lot !! you have to remember he was a true baby when he came to korea to train, so he depended on them & other trainees a lot. he hasn’t forgot that and nowadays would do anything for them ! therefore takes their opinions very seriously and is just...a baby around them !

but @ the future kdi maknae: he may swear he’s baby, but he also swears you’re his child !!

a major kpop stan nowadays !! like past him wouldn’t believe it ?? a huge gg stan especially, and he’s learning all the new dances everyday !!

still in the honeymoon phase lowkey...? like he can’t even believe he’s famous !! it still comes as a shock for him, and therefore he reacts to nearly all “omg you’re so famous i love you !!” fans with a “thanks ig?? i’m literally just zack but ok”

he does want to explore other entertainment fields eventually, especially variety & music production !!

also remember how i said he loves vines ?? yeah my ask message on the main wasn’t for nothing ! he reenacts the zack stop vine nearly everyday folks

alright this is long let’s move to wanted connections ! i think that’s all anyways ?? if not i’ll add more later ! but for now, let’s go !!

wanted connections

best friends !! please give zack someone stupid to act out with ok

someone who helped him adjust to korea when he first got here & took him under their wing !! maybe they’ve developed a sibling type relationship ?

a grumpy muse who he’s always trying to cheer up & make happy !

maybe another foreign muse to share his stuggles with ?? i don’t know if there are other la muses but if so childhood friends are an option !

he would 100% goof off with all the staff so whenever they get some staff he’d love to get kdi into some mess with them !

the one person who he just really doesn’t like ??

cute little crushes !!

language exchange buddies ?? it doesn’t have to be just korean !

someone he really looks up to & adores !!

a partner in crime - they’re always sneaking out the dorm, going thrill seeking and just having fun together !

frenemies !!

i’ll add more as i think of it !

#hqidolintro #( zack + intro. )#it's late so i'll rb this tomm. but i'm probably going to fall asleep soon !!

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broken-clover · 6 years ago

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Dust Strikers Story Mode 1/4

I haven’t seen too many resources available when it comes to Guilty Gear: Dust Strikers, a DS-only sidegame released in 2006. While I will agree that the gameplay and story did leave a bit to be desired, I still get a decent bit of fun out of it as the only GG game I own that I can play at college. I wound up going through all 20 story modes for the purpose of jotting down all the game dialogue, in case anybody needed it for reference for whatever reason and didn’t have a copy of the game. I’m gonna upload this in chunks for the sake of space.

Part 1 (Sol, Ky, May, Millia, Axl), Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Dialogue for some scenes is repeated. I tried my best to keep this more or less lifted right from the game, though I did make a few edits just for grammar’s sake because this game isn’t very well edited. I did not try to change any conversations just for the sake of it.

Sol:...Whew... Jam: How rude. What's your problem? Faust: Is there something wrong? Sol: A doctor and a chef? This is a big joke. Quit following me wherever I go. Go back to your real jobs, man! Faust: This is what it takes to master the tricks of the trade. It's necessary to learn to see things from the patient's perspective. Jame: The art of cooking is also a quest. You're not gonna find anything new just by sitting around. Venom: Then I should get to know a wider variety of opponents. Let's roll! Sol: Move it. Just go to bed!

Bridget: Whoah, everybody looks tough Chipp: Hey! what's a kid doing here? Eddie: A child. Attractive in terms of her youthfulness but too immature to become my host Bridget: You're not taking me seriously? Then let me show you my moves Sol:...back off. Don't be wasting my time Eddie: Interesting. I shall keep a record of the battle results for future reference Bridget: Don't be surprised! Here I come! Sol: What am I, a babysitter? I can't deal with this...

Slayer: This is quite an unusual combination Sol: I'm starting to get tired of your face Testament: Different being. What do you want? Slayer: Nope. Nothing in particular. Just happened to pass by. Testament: Then please go away Dizzy: Oh, you're Mr. Slayer, aren't you? Please excuse Testament's words. He doesn't mean any harm. Slayer: I'm not bothered by it. Don't worry. But this is quite interesting. Sol: So what the hell is your point? Slayer: Those who have veered off the path. I guess the same must be said of me. Testament: What are you insinuating? You better have a good explanation Slayer: My apologies if I offended you. I'm just genuinely interested in your powers Sol: You using us to kill your boredom? I think it's time you hung em up.

Anji: Finally found you. Sol:...It's you again. Anji: Let me ask you straight out. Do you have any idea where 'he' is? Sol: So what if I know? Anji: Can you tell me where he is? Of course I'm willing to work for it. You and I have a bout, and if I win, you tell me. Sounds fair? Baiken: Wait! Let me in on the festivities Sol: Sorry, not interested. You guys enjoy each other's company Anji: Even Justice feared my powers...Still not interested? Sol:...! Baiken: Shut your trap! You're starting to get on my nerves. I'll kick all of your butts right now! Axl: Whoa!...Damn it...is this a bad time? Baiken: Eavesdropping, are we? I'm not impressed! Axl: I just wanted to ask chief something Sol: And even you. Why does everyone want to stick their noses in other people's business! Axl: No worries, chief! Just a quick bout, no hard feelings! Sol: I'm not responsible for what happens.

I-no: You're late. You shouldn't make ladies wait like that. Sol: shut up. What are you wandering around for? Johnny: Hey, what a coincidence. Didn't expect to run into you here....guess yu're busy with a woman Sol: You stay out of it I-no: Ooh, another cute guy Ky: All of you! Freeze right there! I-no: and now a cute boy, too. Ky: Sol..! And Johnny the pirate, and you're..! I-no: I'd stay out of it if I were you. Why don't you just go home to mommy? Sol: That's enough chit chatting. Let's let the fists do the talking! Ky: ...Sol! I-no: The violent guy as always. Sure, why not...I'll cut you all up into pieces! Ky: I guess there's no alternative. Holy Knight combat was initially meant for handling multiple enemies. I'll show you what it's all about!

Sol: Finally we meet... Gig: Grrr... Sol: I'm here to figure you out. Gig: Grrrgh! Sol:...Too late, I guess. Then die.

Gig: Grr...grr... Sol: Don't bother. It's over Gig: Grr.... Sol:...I'll make sure we get even for your sake. I guarantee you we'll find the dirt bag...

Jam: Ayah! Who's this cute guy? Ky: You must be...that chef, Ms. Jam Kuradoberi. Jam: That's right! You remembered me! I'm so happy! Ky: I'm glad to see you're doing well. May: Wahts...oops! Oh no! Ky: You must be May, the pirate May: Are you going after Johnny? You'll have to get by me first. Ky: Please, put your guard down. I'm not after pirates right now. Testament: So you're out bounty-hunting then. Probably after me then, aren't you? Jam: Ooh, you're quite the hottie too. Wanna work at my restaurant? Testament: Stop talking nonsense... May: It's two hot guys...but Johnny's way hotter than both of you!

Zappa: Hey! Miss! Millia:...Yes? Zappa: If it's possible, can you be my wi... Millia:... Zappa: Actually, never mind... Axl: Dude, let me show you how it's done. Hey, you in the beautiful blond hair! Let me buy you a cup of coffee so I can see which glows brighter, your hair or your eyes. Millia:...Um, I'm in a hurry. Ky: You're Millia, the former assassin. If you're not with the guild anymore, leave the rest to the police force. No need to put yourself in danger. Millia: I'll take care of him. It's none of your business. Ky: But no, we have to... Zappa: What's all this talk about? Even the police are here. Maybe I should get outta...NO!...Happiness. Hatred! Hatred! Millia: Why don't I ever have luck with men?

Faust: Traveling lady with the scent of blood. Where are you headed? Baiken: Get lost, you lame doc. It's none of your business. I can kill whoever I want. Chipp: Woman enduring countless bloodshed. So you're that Japanese beauty? Ky: There's nothing but anger inside you. As a protector of public safety, I can't let such hateful words pass Baiken: Kid, if you don't wanna get hurt, you should just keep your mouth shut Ky: I have confidence in my sword. Not exactly my favorite option, but in this case I have no choice Faust: What you need is some time off in total peaceful serenity. As a physician, it is my obligation to make sure that you are cured.

Anji: You must be Ky Kiske, former leader of the Sacred Order of Holy Knights Ky: Yes, that would be me. And who are you? Anji: Last name is Mito, first name is Anji. I'm just a journeyman Ky: So what can I help you with? Anji: I'd like to challenge you to a match. I wanted to see firsthand the skills of a top-class warrior like yourself. Ky: I can tell from your presence that you're not an ordinary foe. Asian martial arts? Interesting. I accept your challenge. Slayer: In that case, count me in too. Fighting for the sake of fighting. To me fighting is life's best form of entertainment. Don't you think? Potemkin: I myself haven’t had any worthy opponents recently. Sure, I'll take you on. Ky: This is getting interesting. It's been a while for me too. Bring it on!

I-no: You're late. You shouldn't make ladies wait like that. Sol: shut up. What are you wandering around for? Johnny: Hey, what a coincidence. Didn't expect to run into you here....guess you're busy with a woman. Sol: You stay out of it. I-no: Ooh, another cute guy. Ky: All of you! Freeze right there! I-no: and now a cute boy, too. Ky: Sol..! And Johnny the pirate, and you're..! I-no: I'd stay out of it if I were you. Why don't you just go home to mommy? Sol: That's enough chit chatting. Let's let the fists do the talking! Ky: ...Sol! I-no: The violent guy as always. Sure, why not...I'll cut you all up into pieces! Ky: I guess there's no alternative. Holy Knight combat was initially meant for handling multiple enemies. I'll show you what it's all about!

Ky: What overpowering energy! Gig: Grr... Ky: You telling me this used to be a man? Gig: Grrrgh! Ky: Damn! I have no other choice...

Gig: Grr...grr... Ky: Barely managed to hang on... Gig: Ghhh... Ky: It looks like his losing control of reason has maximized his powers to infinite levels... Gig: Grr.... Ky: ...Pease, rest in peace I-no: Good job for a young boy like you. Ky:! I-no: I can probably kill you easily now...but that wouldn't be fun. So I'll let you go. Ky: You tell the man who created Gears, that he will pay for his crimes! I-no: You don't stand a chance! Why don't you look at yourself in the mirror before you speak? But I'll let him know anyway. Seeya! Ky: ...hate to admit it, but I'm not strong enough yet...but I will eventually rise over the true Gear powers.

May

May: I've got the chills. Faust: Perhaps you have a cold. Here, let me take a look. May: Don't come near me! Faust: What's the problem? May: These vibes...I'm positive! You're...you're bald, aren't you! Venom: You must be Faust, the Dark Doctor. Or should I call you doctor- Faust: Stop it. I don't use that name anymore. Venom:...Excuse me for being disrespectful. Doctor, I'd like you to accompany me. Faust: I'm sorry, my job is to save lives. I don't know if I can be of much help to you and your comrades. May: Look at all that hair...I guess it's not as bad as being bald...doesn't it get in the way? Venom: Let's put your limitations into perspective, then. You'll realize there are only so many lives you can save! May: Who, me? Zappa: KILL! KILL! Let me kill! May: What's with all these weirdos? I'm fighting for real, then!

Chipp: Please, I'm begging you! Baiken: Geez, what is your problem? Chipp: Make me Japanese! Even samurai give mercy, don't they? Baiken: No samurai here. Not a chance, buddy. Be a big boy and get over it, willya? Anji: Hey, what are you doing here? Chipp: You'll do! Please, tell me how to become Japanese! Anji: There's no way in hell, man. Be content being the 'president' Chipp: NO! I wanna become the president, become a Japanese, surpass master's ninjutsu abilities and take revenge! May: You guys arguing over something? Chipp: Damn...what are you doing here? Anji: Yup. A 'Japanese' May: Japa...what? Why're you crying sir? Something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Chipp: I will reach the top! You watch me, master! May: Wow, you scared me! You know I'm tough when I'm mad!

Jam: Ayah! Who's this cute guy? Ky: You must be...that chef, Ms. Jam Kuradoberi. Jam: That's right! You remembered me! I'm so happy! Ky: I'm glad to see you're doing well. May: Whats...oops! Oh no! Ky: You must be May, the pirate May: Are you going after Johnny? You'll have to get by me first. Ky: Please, put your guard down. I'm not after pirates right now. Testament: So you're out bounty-hunting then. Probably after me then, aren't you? Jam: Ooh, you're quite the hottie too. Wanna work at my restaurant? Testament: Stop talking nonsense... May: It's two hot guys...but Johnny's way hotter than both of you!

May: Wow! Look how big you are! Potemkin: And so are you. May: Hey! That's not very nice! Potemkin: No, I just thought you grew a little compared to the last time I saw you May: Well thanks fr the compliment. Think I'm good enough for Johnny now? Eddie: Having a host in her growth spurt...might not be a bad idea. Johnny: Out of the way, May! Potemkin: Humph! May:...Thanks Johnny: Thanks. I owe you one. Eddie: How dare you... May: Now it's my turn! I'll prove it to you that a girl in love is unbeatable!

Millia: Long time no see...Honey, you look very different. Dizzy: It's all thanks to May, and all of my great friends. May: Hee hee. Stop, you're embarrassing me Dizzy...everyone loves you only because you're a good person, that's all. Bridget: Yes, I think so too. To think that there used to be a bounty on her is weird when you think about it now. Millia: Treasure that happiness you have. And don't turn out like me. May: Why don't you join Jellyfish too? I'm sure Johnny will welcome you. Not to mention you're beautiful. I'm a bit jealous...don'f forget though, Johnny is mine! Millia:...thanks. But I think I'll take a pass. I have some unfinished business. Plus...actually, never mind. I think I better go now. Okay, let me through.

May: Phew. Finally here. Gig: Grr.... May: Wow!...No worries. I'm not freaked out. Johnny always tells me I should lend a helping hand to those in need. Come with me, my friend. Gig: Grrrgh! May: What! Whoa!

Gig: Grr...grr... May:...Why? I didn't want to do this to you. Gig: Grr... May: I'm so sorry...

Dizzy: May! May: Dizzy...I couldn't do it...Couldn't help him like Johnny would. I just wish we could've been friends. Dizzy:...I think you did the right thing... May: Whatdya mean? Dizzy: Look at that peaceful face. Thanks to you, he's finally free from long suffering. May:... Dizzy: Let's go back. Everyone's waiting. May:...uh, all right (...rest in peace, my friend...and good night)

Millia

I-no: What do we have here, the desperate bachelorettes council? Baiken: What kind of greeting is that? That's not a very nice thing to say Jam: That's right! You're rude! And what about you? I-no: Oh dear, don't be so uptight. It's just a joke, honey. Or were you offended 'cause I was right on the mark? Millia: You're a joke. Why don't you get outta here. I-no: Oh no. I'm scared. I guess this is how women become as they get older. Baiken: You crazy! I'll cut you up into pieces! Jam: I'm not showing you any mercy either! Millia: If you're not gonna get outta here, we'll have to get rid of you. It's as simple as that. I-no: You're such sweethearts. Very well, I make you cry lots. We'll find out how loud you can cry.

Testament:...Long time no see. Millia: That's a first. You coming up to me to say hi. Things have changed, haven't they? Testament: You're still caught up in the past and changing the thorny path. Millia:...it's none of your business. Move out of the way, will you? Testament: I don't have a problem, but... Millia:... Testament: You seem hesitant. With such mixed feelings, it may cost you your life. Millia:!!! I must have lost my edge, to be getting advice from you. Potemkin: What he's saying is on the money. Those with swaying motivation never fight to their full potential. Please excuse my eavesdropping. Anji: Just happened to pass by. Millia: Then I guess I'll have to eliminate all doubts before I get to him. I'll need your cooperation for that.

Millia: So...we meet again...Zato. Eddie: So you still haven't gotten over him? Millia: Shut up, you damn beast...I'm talking to him, not you! Eddie: What do you want to talk to ME about? Millia: I'm taking you down. I'm sick and tired of looking at your pathetic, bony remains. Venom: Not so fast...! Master Zato is regarded as the crown-jewel of the guild. You'll have to hand him over to me...! Slayer: I've told you the Guild is no more. No raison d'etre and no purpose. Continued existence will only bring further regret and despair. Venom: Oldtimers can keep their mouth shut. The guild no longer belongs to you. Millia: It has nothing to do with me anymore, I don't care what happens to it. I just want to take care of this guy with my very own hands. Eddie: Do you think it will be that easy? What do "I" think?"...Not so easy, "I" say. Venom: I sense you...Master Zato. I am going to free you, Master, from the evil spell of death! Eddie: Ha ha...this is great! Lowly humans who cannot accept death. That's the right evil spirit to have! Slayer: I'm the one who started all of this. I must atone for my past deeds. Fine, let us put an end to it all.

Millia: You look very much like him. Gig: Grr... Millia:You resemble him...and you resemble me. Gig: Grrrgh! Millia:...All right. I'll let you rest.

Gig: Grr...grr... Millia:...good night. It's all over now. For you, and for me. Gig: Grr... Millia:...may your soul rest in peace

Millia: (Have I been watching my own future? Is this what you wanted to tell me? Zato...)

Axl

Axl: Hey, what's that you're holding? I didn't know you had those toys, even in this day and age. Bridget: This is not a toy! It's a tool of my trade! Axl: Ouch! I'm sorry! What have we here? Playing pool at a place like this? Venom: How dare you insult my combat style. I say you deserve a beating. Axl: Hang on a sec! Something wrong with this era. Every toy's being used as a weapon. So what do people actually play with? Johnny: The best for of entertainment, I'd say is the thrill and romance of playing with fireworks at night. I'm pretty sure that's the consensus. Axl: You know what you're talking about! I'm actually great with fire myself...here we go!

Chipp: Hey! I have a question. Axl: Hi there, you look very hot. I-no: You talking about me? Axl: Of course! Who else would it be? Great body, silky smooth hair, you're electrifying! I-no: You're very good with words. Let me ask you then. Who's hotter? That woman or me? Chipp: Hey, listen up! Millia:...don't bother me. Chipp: !...you used to be in the guild! Millia: Yes, but that was a long while ago. Now I'm in the same boat as you. Axl: Ah man, this is a tough one. They're both really hot. Chipp: I'm taking down the guild! You women stay out of it! Millia: That I cannot do. Just like you, I can't pull out. Axl: This is a tough decision... Millia: And...quit staring at me with that perverted look on your face! Axl: Oops, I think I got her mad at me.

Potemkin: You youngster there. I see you have some talent. How about testing some of that talent on my fists? Axl: Man, you've got a nice build. But what do you have to gain? Plus, are you sure you can handle me? Potemkin: I wouldn't underestimate me. My drive for freedom locked inside my heart is my greatest weapon. Axl: Cool. I love peace and freedom too. But you might get out of breath when you're so stiff all the time. Ky: So you're fighting in the name of peace and freedom. Perhaps I might come up with answers for myself too. Excuse me, I'd like in as well. Jam: Just drive won't take you anywhere. There's no victory for those who can't face reality. I'll prove it to you right now!

Faust: This is an interesting symptom. I see, it's a cause and effect cycle. Axl: You, I never asked you to check up on me! Even though it's true that I've been through a lot, I've never had any doubts about my body. Faust: Oh, is that right? If there aren't any cures, that may very well be the best treatment. Axl: I'm more concerned about your body. Looks a little mysterious. Faust: Not to worry. It's all functional Slayer: Irregulars with an added spice that changes the world of men. Axl: You talking about us? Slayer: It's because of people like you that makes humans interesting. Even though you're blessed with great powers, it's normal to you. Very typical of how humans behave. Axl: It'll stress you out if you think so deeply. Zappa: Hahahahaha! Slayer: Look. Yet another fellow favored by the goddess of fortune. Axl: I do like women but I'm not sure about the goddess. Slayer: It must be the uncertainty factor that led you into running into me Axl: C'mon, let's just have fun...I thought this was supposed to be a party!

Axl: Huh? You can still speak? Gig: Grr... Axl: Man, what am I gonna do? Gig: Grrgh! Axl: Sorry dude, it's not my time yet.

Gig: Grr....grr... Axl: Phew! Hey, man. Haven't you had enough? Gig: Grr... Axl: I think that should be enough....what? This sensation!!! That Man: It is not yet the time for you to find out the truth. When the time comes you will find out. Whether you like it or not! Axl: Who are you? That Man: We shall part for a short time. Time traveler. Axl:...Ahhhgh!

Axl: What period is this? Looks like a messy period in time. Oh well, things will work out. Since getting rattled isn't my style!

#guilty gear #Guilty Gear Dust Strikers #resources #dialogue #sol badguy #ky kiske #guilty gear may #millia rage #Axl Low

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tobythewise · 7 years ago

Note

(N)oob

Thanks for the prompt @emani-writes!!

Warnings for ‘gamer talk’, past knowledge of League of Legands that might not match how the game is played now, and some vulgar language at the end!

If anyone is interested in giving me some prompts for upcoming letters I need one word prompts starting with the letter O and then any letter after P! I also take any other types of prompts that anyone feels like reading! :)

Dean logged into his steam account. Gaming was one of hisguilty pleasures, something to help let off some stress and he genuinelyenjoyed it. It was fun taking on noobs and completely kicking their asses. Dean’sonly wish is that his boyfriend was online too. He looked at his list offriends and found the little icon next to Cas’s name showing he was offline.

Well, he had a few other buddies online to play with. Heinvited Jo, Charlie, Sam and Ash to play a game of League of Legends. Deanloved it when he could make a team up with people he knew. It always made thegame more enjoyable and more cohesive.

The five of them got into the lobby and queed up a gamebefore jumping on skype so they could talk.

“What’s up bitches?” Charlie yelled when everyone wasconnected. “You guys ready to kick some ass?”

There were a murmur of agreement from the group before thecharacter selection screen popped up.

“Alright, who wants to play where?” Dean asked. He’s notpicky so he’ll take whatever’s left over.

“Jungle!” Sam calls as he selects Volibear.

“I’ll take Mid,” Jo says as she picks Master Yi.

Ash decides on Rammus and takes mid.

“Well, that leaves us with the bottom, Dean.”

“Good thing Cas isn’t here to agree,” Sam adds with a laugh.

“Shut it, Sammy! I thought you said not to talk about my sexlife while you’re in the call?”

“Well yeah, cause you two usually get really gross!”

Jo pips in, “It’s because they’re in loooove.”

His friends are assholes… “I’ll take Ash if you wanna takeSoraka, Charlie,”

“Deal.”

Once in the game, they play like they normally would. Deanworks on farming minions and Charlie is there for support. They’re able to takea few shots at their first tower before matters start to get interesting.

A play on the other team, someone named BlueEyedAngel keepsjabbing at Dean. They’re playing Teemo which is, in Dean’s opinion, thetrolliest champion ever. Teemo keeps going invisible and waiting until Dean istoo far away from Charlie to get help. He attacks when Dean isn’t expecting itand causes First Blood.

Dean can deal with not being the best at this game. He candeal with getting tricked and killed. What he can’t deal with is goddamnkeyboard warriors.

BlueEyedAngel: GGWP,if that’s how your Ash plays then this game is in the bag

Like seriously? It was one death. Charlie was able toprotect our tower until I respawned. It’s not the end of the game yet, asshole.But Dean doesn’t voice any of those things. He’s a mature player after all.

BlueEyedAngel: Holy shit!Your Ash sucks so bad!

“Just ignore him, Dean. It’s probably some twelve year oldtrying to be cool,” Charlie reasons.

MulletDude: Bro! Areyou like twelve or something?

Oh good, there goes Ash trying to start shit too.

BlueEyedAngel: Aww,it’s so sweet that the noob needs his teammates to fight his battles for him.

Dean would usually start to get annoyed at this point but he’stoo focused on trying to take out this tower to care. Almost… Just a few morehits… and WHAT THE FUCK!!! He’s frozen!!! And here comes Teemo to poison Deanwith a dart. And now he’s dead again.

BlueEyedAngel: Gotchaagain, noob. GG! Might as well just give up. It’s all going down from here.

CrazyKnifeGirl: STFUand play the game!

BlueEyedAngel: I’mthe one kicking ass here. Tell Ash to learn to play the game! You shouldprobably just report for intentional feeding at this point.

Dean’s officially starting to get riled up. There’s no needto be such an asshole.

BlueEyedAngel: Ashsucks so bad they probably spend their weekend sucking dick.

“Holy crap this dude is a dick,” Charlie mutters.

TheMoose: Nah, heactually spends his weekend taking it up the ass.

“Sam!” Everyone yells in unison. Sam’s reply is to laughnonstop for an entire minute.

BlueEyedAngel: Wellif he’s anything like how he plays this game it must be half assed and sloppy.

Dean sighs. So much for a nice relaxing game of LOL.

GreenHunter67: Dude,what’s your problem? Are you a sad twelve year old whose mommy doesn’t love youenough?

BlueEyedAngel: Nah.My mommy gave me plenty of hugs growing up. I just like trolling you. You getflustered so easily.

GreenHunter67: Wellstop being such a keyboard warrior and try just playing the game.

BlueEyedAngel: I’mfinding making you upset is far more entertaining. Tell me, is your mom hot?

Dean rolls his eyes. Of course we’re going to get into momjokes…

TheMoose: Don’t talkabout my mom like that! She’s a really nice lady!

GreenHunter67: Wellthis has been a lovely chat but I’m going to mute my chat and play now…

And that’s exactly what Dean does. Too bad he’s already toofar behind on towers and minions to actually try and help his team at all. Thatdamn Teemo is too tricky and too skilled to trying and do anything. They end uplosing. By a lot.

In the postgame chatroom, BlueEyedAngel is still spoutingout taunts and insults. It’s starting to make Dean’s blood boil. He cracks his knucklesand places them on his keyboard.

GreenHunter67: Dude,first of all fuck off! No one likes a keyboard warrior. It’s immature anddisrespectful. All we wanted to do was play a game of LOL and here you arebeing an absolute asshole. Second, grow up! You’re acting like you’re apre-teen sitting in their mom’s basement waiting for her to call him up fordinner and picking at his acne filled face! And last, try getting a life. Maybeif you actually had friends you wouldn’t feel the need to sit online and trytrolling just to have some fun!!!! If you keep being and ass we’re gonna reportyou and block you.

Dean was breathing hard by the time he got all of that out.His eyes were blazing and his chest was tight with anticipation for a reaction.Then his steam pinged his attention.

New friend request: BlueEyedAngel

He accepted and a new message popped up on his personalsteam account.

BlueEyedAngel: Fuck!Seeing you get all bent out of shape like that got me so hard, Dean. I bet you’rebreathing so hard and your cheeks are flushed. God! I want to see you so bad!!Please come over right the fuck now so I can fuck you and make up for being adick. Sam thought it would be a fun prank but now all I wanna do is get poundedinto my mattress as you take out all your frustrations out on my ass!

BlueEyedAngel: Deanplease. I’m so hard for you right now!

BlueEyedAngel: Dean?Don’t disconnect! Please! I need you so bad!

BlueEyedAngel: If youdon’t message me back I’m gonna start without you and there’s no guarantee Ican wait until you’re here!

All these messages were left unread because Dean had alreadythrown his headphones down on the computer so he could hurry over to his stupidboyfriend’s house. And yes, Dean definitely took out his frustrations on Cas’sass.

#destiel #deancas #Destiel fanfic #gamer au #league of legends #abc prompt #emani-writes #tobywrites #ask box

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surveys-at-your-service · 7 years ago

Text

Survey #98

“white trash, get down on your knees.”

have you ever lied to a person of authority? what did you say? i mean, i've lied to my parents. and i don't know, multiple things that don't immediately come to my head. are your eyebrows darker than your hair? yeah. what do you prefer, lasagna or spaghetti and meatballs? spaghetti w/ meatballs. i don't like lasagna because of the cheese. are all your pets micro chipped? no, but they have tags. would you ever cope in a jail? NO. i would be depressed out of my SENSES. have you ever seen an alligator in person? in zoos as well as the wild. when hurricane floyd like ruined everything, the zoo flooded and was essentially destroyed. apparently, an alligator got out, because i saw one in the ditch once shortly after the hurricane. that zoo was never rebuilt. do you live across from a corn field? no, but i once lived across from a tobacco field. welcome to nc. how long have you been tattooed? if you’re not, do you want to get tattooed? i got my first for my 18th birthday, so a few years. are you a liberal? not mostly, but i have some liberal traits, ex. i support gay marriage. were you fearless or a coward in the face of the child hunter in "chitty chitty bang bang?" i'm pretty sure he scared me. i don't remember much about the movie. did you ever hit anything while learning to drive? i literally almost immediately hit a curb lol. jeff foxworthy, bill engvall, ron white, or larry the cable guy? i enjoy them all, but jeff's gotta top the list. have you or a pet ever gotten a tapeworm? no. i would rather die than get one. i am deathly afraid of internal parasites. do you know any furries? yes. i once lived with two of 'em. do you ever worry about your future? (i.e.: college, marriage, kids, etc) yes. more than anything, i worry about what my job situation is going to be like. do you snore? steal the covers? roll around in your sleep? I STEAL THE FUCK OUT OF COVERS is the lion the best character in "the wizard of oz?" i actually like the scarecrow. would you immediately look for someone right after you broke up with your bf/gf? no. it just doesn't seem... right. if you became a doctor, would you help your patients kill themselves? no. just. no. do you tell your best friend EVERYTHING? no. do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? only sara and connie. have you ever tried to learn another language? how did it go? i took four years of german, and i got to the point where i was pretty fluent. it's atrophied all to hell though. have you ever shared a house with a significant other? an apartment, yes. do you have a crush on anyone? tell me about them. i'm dating whom i have a crush on. have you ever had something signed by someone famous? what and who? no. i think. does your father have any facial hair? he has a van dyke beard/mustache. have you ever felt like you were making a mistake when dating someone? oh boy, have i. did you continue the relationship or end it when you realized? ended it. do you think you look similar to your siblings? we have some similarities. ex., we all have the same shade of brown hair naturally. have you ever played cards against humanity? did you like it? oh my actual god, one time when i was at colleen's, we did as a family. we all had a couple drinks, so it was funnier than it should've been. closest i have EVER been to peeing myself. however, it's not as funny with subsequent plays, because you know what cards to expect. do you know anyone who’s lived through a natural disaster? yeah, me and many family members and friends. hurricanes are a common occurrence in nc. how many brothers/sisters do you have? two immediate sisters, one half-brother, three half-sisters. are you lactose intolerant? no. would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? dude i am the weirdest mix of both lol. how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. they are wonderful ways of expression. i just find some piercings aesthetically pleasing on certain people, while tattoos are how you can easily paint the picture of your life on yourself. list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. i've only been to one, and that was alice cooper. it was very fun, despite thunderstorming the whole time. have you ever been on drugs for anxiety, depression, mental illness? i have been since the 6th grade and i still am. do you like green apples? only if they're crisp. have you ever had a guinea pig for a pet? yes. squeak, harry potter, snickers, and one other whose name i've forgotten... do you shop at hot topic? yes. have you ever studied any new age or occult religions such as wicca? no, but they intrigue me, especially wicca. would you rather be a boy or girl? a girl. do you prefer to be around introverted or extroverted people? introverted. not trying to generalize here, but i find they tend to be more insightful. what do you think makes you a good girlfriend or boyfriend? i'm devoted and loyal as fuck, very loving, and will emotionally support a partner through thick and thin. what do you think makes you a bad girlfriend or boyfriend? one, my anxiety and insecurity. i've also never encountered this situation before, but i honestly feel that i'd get pretty jealous if he ever hung out with another girl platonically, because i'm immensely paranoid. like do not get me wrong, i wouldn't prevent him from doing it, i'd just be very worried. an issue i'm sure a lot of people would have with me is the fact i'm a pretty big prude. has anyone written a song or a piece of poetry about you? yeah. but i can virtually guarantee he used it on other girls. how many drinks does it take for you to become drunk? i wouldn't know, considering i've never been drunk. i was relatively tipsy after four bottles of very mild alcohol, though. do you admire brutal honesty? sometimes. other times it is completely unnecessary. what is your party trick? hiding out in the background somewhere, playing with your pet. <-- THIS haha <<< SAME if you had a mental disorder, what would it be? i'm diagnosed with chronic depression, general anxiety & social anxiety, ptsd (which i think i'm recovered from), and i've heard both bipolar ii and borderline personality disorder. do you think the "paranormal activity" movies were scary? no. i actually liked them. do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? i'm honestly very passive, so aggressive. the last time you drank with someone else or more than one person who was in the worst shape? chelsea always is. she takes two bottles of light alcohol and she's vomiting lol. what would you say is the worst part of high school, period? you're going through it in arguably the biggest time of your life. you are constantly changing and developing and going through so much mentally. you're still figuring out who you want to be. not to mention, you're expected to make huge decisions, all the while still having to ask to go to the bathroom. you have so much responsibility just all of the sudden while your brain is morphing a lot. are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? no. too much responsibility. not to mention they try to get into everything; you can't turn away for two seconds. what is the worst name a friend has ever called you? do you remember? probably just "bitch" or something along the line. no friend has ever called me one to my face, but i can literally guarantee some have. ACTUALLY. to my face, i was called a martyr by my ex's friend after the break-up. and i'm certain he didn't mean it as in "you'd die for your beliefs," he meant it as in "hey you pretend it's the apocalypse to get sympathy." which is entirely fucking untrue about me. that honestly hurt a lot and it still sticks with me. it honestly made me more uncomfortable to express my feelings. do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? i can't stand colleen's mom because she's a grade-a bitch, and her dad makes me uncomfortable, but he's not creepy. what is your least favorite word? i literally abhor the word "cunt." hurts to even type. what turns you on? various, pretty normal stuff. what turns you off? the usual stuff - bad hygiene, bad manners, etc <–Yep. <<<< I agree. <<<<< same. have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? i've had one since the 6th grade. have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? not a legitimate crush, no. who is your celebrity crush? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) who is your most loyal friend? i honestly feel like connie. we've literally never fought, and she's always been there.

why are you happy, if you even are?

because i've come so far in my recovery that i have no excuse to complain.

is there a secret you’ve never told your parents?

yes.

what do you think of when you hear the name mark?

lol you know exactly who i think of.

kristin?

no one.

zoe?

only the best character from "ssx tricky"

jamie?

no one.

adam?

alex shepherd's dad from "silent hill: homecoming"

carmen?

the best dancer that was ever at the dance studio i used to go to

do you like fluffy yogurts?

NO. i CANNOT do the texture.

don’t you hate that you have to watch the baby being born in health class?

i actually never did. but i physically wouldn't have been able to. i would've 100% shielded my eyes.

what’s the earliest memory you have?

walking out into the living room with my stuffed baby bunny and seeing ashley play "medievil" (i'm pretty sure that's how they spelled it). we all used to love that game. we only had the demo disc, though.

do you ever say “fail” when people mess up?

no, but i usually say "gg" lol

how important is it for a significant other to be good with kids?

not all that important considering i don't want any, but simultaneously, i certainly wouldn't tolerate them being mean to kids.

what was the last thing that hurt your feelings? was it warranted or do you think you just took it too personally?

i'd rather just not talk about it, but yeah, it was warranted.

what is your dad’s name?

kenneth, but everyone calls him ken.

does your mother have a sister? if so, what's her name?

... wait,

does

she? i don't think so, actually... maybe...

is your favorite color the same as when you were a kid?

not exactly; my first favorite color was just normal red, now it's maroon.

who last grabbed your ass?

chelsea lol

have you ever been called a slut/whore?

no, because i am literally the direct opposite. well correction, chelsea, colleen, and alex have playfully, but none of them have ever meant it. we all call each other shit names lol. all in love<3

who is your favorite foreign singer/musician?

rammstein. they have amazing music and their lyrics are usually pretty cool.

do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (ie abortion being wrong/right, meat-eating being wrong/right)?

no. i enjoy people having different opinions. grow the fuck up and let people think differently.

do you edit any of your pictures? in what ways?

yes. i tend to do general things, like color correction and basic enhancement. sometimes i do more, particularly if it's legitimate photography of mine, in which case i tend to either bump up or desaturate the colors.

who do you know personally that has a nice singing voice?

colleen

what months were you and your siblings born in?

as far as immediate siblings, april and june, and i was born in february.

do you prefer prince or michael jackson?

jackson. i was never into prince.

do you like spring rolls?

yeah. ruby tuesday's has the best.

when was the last time you painted something?

it's been about a year.

name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting.

if they're old enough, i love to teach them how to play games from my childhood. if not, idk. i just in general don't like watching kids.

what kind of things do you post on tumblr?

rhett&link + markiplier stuff, mostly. but i also reblog some funny stuff, plus meerkat pictures.

what band would you stand in line for 24 hours to see?

none.

name the three biggest things that make up you.

passion, anxiety, dank memage. *finger guns*

what song is your ‘anthem’?

the song "that's what you get" by paramore reminds me most of myself, particularly the line "i drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating."

which movie villain do you find the most terrifying?

hmmm. a number. i find christabella laroache from the "silent hill" moving frightening (no, i'm not being biased) because she's like the queen example that religion can drive people insane. the joker is also horrifying for the simple fact he's legitimately insane.

do you think frogs/toads look disgusting?

no, they're cute.

what happens when you strongly disagree with someone?

if i voice my opinion, i get very scared that they'll get angry with me. if i don't, nothing. i just accept their opinion.

have you ever been tested for drugs?

yes, while i was at the er for suicide attempts/being suicidal.

do you own any fish? if so, are the docile or aggressive?

no.

if your lover cheated on you and profusely apologized, would you accept them back into your life?

nope.

are you allergic to any insect bites?

no.

who is your favorite golden girl?

rose!!! (:

what is your favorite commercial of the moment?

it is legitimately always going to be the sexy mr. clean commercial lmao

do you have any famous relatives?

not relatives, but ancestors. we're related to queen victoria and william clark.

favorite album?

"black rain" by ozzy osbourne. i literally love every song on the album and it was my first voyage into heavy metal.

if your son said he was gay, how would you react?

i would be really really proud of him for trusting me with such a thing!!

would you date someone who played video games all weekend long?

so long he does his responsibilities, sure. let him do what he enjoys.

what are your top three video games of all time?

"silent hill 2," "amnesia: a machine for pigs," and then probably "silent hill 3."

what's your favorite care bear?

i remember i liked the one with a rainbow on its stomach.

state 8 facts about your body.

i'm 5'5''. just gonna say i'm bigger than i'm supposed to be. i have five piercings. my hair is naturally brown, but dyed red. my eyes are blue. the nail on both of my rings fingers is slightly deformed (my sisters' are, too). i have incredibly tiny toes. i wear glasses.

what was your kinkiest wet dream?

not a kinky person over here.

what song, no matter where you are or what you are doing, immediately takes you back to high school?

"all signs point to lauderdale" by a day to remember, DEFINITELY.

do you think you could join the army?

no way. i couldn't anyway because i'm mentally ill/have a suicidal history.

would you date someone who has cheated in their previous relationships?

nope.

do you have soft hands? do you like holding hands?

just about everyone who's ever touched my hands tells me they're soft. and yeah, so long they're not sweaty.

do you think having a sleepover with a guy is theoretically acceptable?

to me, it really depends on where you're sleeping.

have you ever failed a class?

only in college.

have you ever cried over a breakup?

only for over a year.

are you planning on dying your hair any time soon?

hopefully.

do you feel as though you're good at understanding/communicating with animals?

people have called me dr. doolittle since i was a very young kid for a reason lol

where would you like to spend your honeymoon?

i actually don't have big plans. i'd just love to spend a little while in the mountains of nc.

what's one thing you collected as a child:

stickers. my dresser at the time was legitimately covered.

what fictional animal do you wish was real?

oh my GOD, the fey dragons from wow. they are fucking adorable and so pure.

have you ever been told you’ve punched someone in your sleep?

lol yeah. sorry, jason.

have you ever written a song or poem for someone special?

a few poems, yeah.

what is your favorite vampire book/movie/show?

i remember i loved the book "bite me"

do you actually know anyone who is homophobic?

yes.

did you ever read "the giver"? see the movie?

i read the book and loved it.

what was your first impression of your best friend?

i don't have a *best* friend, but i'll answer for the two closest to me. one, i don't really remember because we were super super young. the other, oh my god it was obvious we hated each other.

what is your profile pic a picture of?

i'mma just answer for like... all of them lol. main tumblr & youtube: link neal (but i'mma change yt to mark when i'm not being lazy); facebook&this blog: me; deviantart: an oc; km rp: mark fischbach; aaand i'm sure i'm forgetting some

have you ever been dumped really harshly?

very. he dumped me over facebook messenger like a coward, considering we'd been dating for 3 1/2 years.

has a tree ever fallen down on your house?

yes, during a hurricane. i was totally knocked out asleep so i didn't even hear it land directly above my head lol. then at our second house, a tree fell on our fuel tank, literally landing directly beside the cap, sooo we're lucky as fuck it didn't blow up.

would you ever get your hips pierced?

no. dermals sound really painful.

what if someone asked you to be in a relationship with them?

i'm in a relationship right now and am happy that way.

what will your next piercing be?

my nose.

what do you regret doing at FAR too young?

i'd rather just not talk about it.

marvel or dc?

dc, maybe.

what are you most proud of?

how far i've come

what is your favorite otp?

that actually exists, mark&amy. hypothetically, rhett&link

who is your favorite disney villain?

scar, maybe? OH. maleficent, actually.

did you ever watch "phil of the future"?

not really. i was never a big fan.

are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy?

sexual activities, sure. sex itself, i wouldn't know.

how old were you when you first became sexually active?

again, mind you, i'm a virgin, but if you're talking about doing anything sexual, probably 16. maaaybe 17, but i'm pretty sure 16.

would you rather have a pet crocodile or a pet octopus?

i legitimately wanted a caiman for a while because apparently that's legal lol

where is the last place you’d want to be on halloween night?

not sure

describe your favorite comedy movie?

my favorite's "white chicks" omg

what, in your opinion, is the most disgusting part of the human body?

i've stated before i have some asexual traits, and part of that is found in the fact i find both genitalia legitimately disgusting.

what feelings come over you when you know you’re falling in love?

i smile a lot and get very shy around the person. looots of butterflies.

do you believe in ghosts, spirits, demons?

yes to all.

would you consider yourself creative and how wide would you say your imagination can stretch?

i honestly believe i'm creative as fuck. it goes pretty damn far.

if you could go into any video game world, what would it be and why?

"world of warcraft." because. like. just take me to azeroth, pls. god i am such a nerd.

hamburger or hot dog?

cheeseburgers, usually.

what's something nerdy about you?

i am legitimately made of nerdy shit

would you cheat on your significant other if it meant sleeping with your celebrity crush?

no, actually. probably surprising considered how obsessed i am with him lol

how old do you want to live to?

maybe like 75? 80? i don't want to get to the point of being old where i'm like pissing myself and need help with literally everything. that would be legitimate torture to me.

are you comfortable with your height?

sure.

have you ever slept on a couch with someone else, with whom?

yeah, jason.

do you think the legal drinking age should be changed?

not entirely. i do, however, believe 18-year-olds should be allowed to drink only if accompanied by an adult.

have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?

i have hit rock bottom before.

have you ever been bitten by a snake?

no.

do you like train’s music?

i was a big fan way before they become mainstream thanks to mom.

how’s your relationship between you and your grandparents?

dad's mom is dead, mom's dad is dead, i don't even remember the last time i talked to my dad's dad (but he's suuuuper nice and supportive), and i'm pretty damn sure mom's mom doesn't like me. she's bitched me out before and has said some very rude things to me. i'm not particularly fond of her either, but i try.

has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you?

never had sex, but as for the only person i've ever been sex

ual

with, yes.

are both of your blood parents still in your life?

my parents are divorced so i don't really see my dad, but he's still a part of my life.

do you like your best friend’s boy/girlfriend?

colleen's husband is awesome and is quite a bit like myself, but sara's not in a relationship.

have your parents met the person you’re currently interested in?

yeah.

when you’re interested in someone, do you let them know?

no.

have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity?

ha ha omg yeah

what are your parents’ middle names?

marie & john

in your opinion, which is more attractive: nice biceps or washboard abs?

biceps. really obnoxious abs aren't that appealing to me.

have you ever been hypnotized?

no. i don't believe in that jazz.

do you have any lockets with pictures inside?

no.

what would you consider to be the worst television channel out there?

mtv

do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? why?

no.

do you think age matters in friendship?

no. i have a friend who's 30.

how old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?

i don't want kids. i'm fine with my nieces and nephews.

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

heather (silent hill), tyler is legitimately me (markiplier crew), chase (rhett&link crew)

what’s a popular movie you’ve never seen?

the entirety of "harry potter." and "lord of the rings."

has anyone ever gotten in your face completely bitching you out?

my grandma, yes.

does it annoy you when people use too many emoticons when they’re typing?

it can.

would you ever consider yourself over dramatic?

i can be, honestly.

would you consider yourself more indie or mainstream?

indie. essentially nothing about me is mainstream.

do you ever use cheats when you play video games?

no.

has anyone, besides yourself, considered you as a failure?

most likely.

did you go to pre-k?

yeah.

have you ever stolen a friend's boyfriend?

not intentionally. then there's the fact we never actually dated.

do you regret it?

i regret ever being flirty with him, yes.

are you sorry?

it's only like my biggest regret, so.

who was your first celebrity crush?

probably jesse mccartney lol

would you smoke if it meant getting $30, or do you smoke anyways?

no.

what school teams or clubs are/were you a part of?

art honors society, honors society.

do you enjoy going through old pictures?

sometimes. other times, the nostalgia is too much.

is there a band you like with amazing music but a bad vocalist?

i honestly find dave mustaine of megadeth to be an awful singer, but somehow, i feel it adds to his charm??

do you tend to get clingy in relationships?

really, it depends on my mood and how comfortable i am with you. i legitimately demand space early in a relationship, and i romantically bond with people very slowly. once i actually feel attached to you, i can be sometimes. other times, i still need space.

have you ever dated outside of your race?

for less than a day, so you couldn't really call it "dating." he was hispanic.

when was the last time you received a massage?

never had one professionally, but jason and i would give each other a massage if we legitimately felt like we needed one.

would you rather have curvy legs or skinny legs?

not like really big, but curvy.

what do you usually put in your omelets?

cheese and ham. man... now i really want an omelet lol

do you like kiwis?

YAAAAAS

do you want any piercings?

my nose will be next, then more in my ears. i also would like a belly button ring one day, but i'd only get it once i'm much smaller. absolutely no offense intended, but i don't think they look good on bigger people like me.

have you ever flipped off your mother or father?

no, but i said "fuck you" to my mother only a few months ago. that went over well.

have you ever bowled a strike?

probably.

which is worse: stale chips or flat soda?

stale chips. flat soda doesn't bother me too much.

have you ever questioned your sexuality?

not seriously. when i had ocd, added onto my anxiety, i got into this totally random repetitive thought cycle that i secretly bisexual. i am in no way bisexual, but it was a random question and then my mind obsessed over the possibility i was lying to myself.

what did you usually pack for lunch at school?

sandwiches.

favorite nonliving musician?

probably freddie mercury. wonderfully talented man.

biggest learning experience of your life?

holly hill

what’s your opinion on religion in schools?

i believe all of the more common religions should be electives. i know that's a bit unfair, but if we're being realistic, there's too many religions to fit and get instructors for all of them.

how do you decide whether to accept or not accept a friend request?

i have to know the person and like them to accept them.

do you have an unspeakable past regret?

unspeakable, no.

do you litter?

absolutely not.

do you feed your pets gourmet pet food?

no.

were you miserable in middle school?

i wouldn't say "miserable," but it was definitely the worst school years. it's when my anxiety and depression started, so.

how many people do you know who identify as transgender?

one that i'm certain of. i have another friend that went through a transgender phase.

what is your preferred painkiller?

advil

what color was your senior prom dress?

black

do you support transgenders being able to use the opposite restroom?

i promise, you don't want my opinion.

do you support the raising of the minimum wage?

yes. you can't live off of $7.25.

are you courageous?

not really, if i'm being honest.

could you ever forgive your best friend for sleeping with your boyfriend?

nope.

do you live with your biological parents?

with my mom, yes.

do you have a snapchat?

no.

who is your hero?

mark <3

are you allergic to bees?

i wouldn't know. never been stung.

have you ever had stitches?

yes, in my chin.

did you graduate high school a virgin?

yeah.

would you ever date out of your own race?

yes.

can you describe your father in one word?

forgiving<3

what’s your favorite movie trilogy?

"shiloh," maybe

do you play any games on facebook?

no.

do you have a dog?

we have three.

do you have a step-parent?

yes, but i don't call her "mom" or anything.

do you like grasshoppers?

they actually kinda scare me, especially big ones lol

do you like laffy taffy?

yeah!

at concerts, do you buy merch?

only been to one, but i did. i'd like to think i always would.

what color is your underwear?

i don't wear underwear unless entirely necessary. increases your chances of a yeast infection and they're just uncomfortable.

what’s an interesting fact about the state in which you were born?

it has an abandoned wizard of oz-themed park.

outside of school, have you ever used a thesaurus?

yes. i use it occasionally for writing.

do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings?

my mom has her ears pierced.

would you ever stalk a celebrity?

no. i have respect.

do your parents use social media? if so, which ones?

mom has facebook.

do you believe that there’s good in everybody?

nope.

person you used to have feelings for shows up at your house, you say:

"get the fuck away from my house" or something like that.

were your parents married when you were born?

yes.

have you ever thought about having sex?

yeah?

are you available?

no.

do you live in a big house?

no.

have you ever flown in a plane?

twice, but the first i don't remember.

do you like mangoes?

i've actually never had a real mango, but i think i'd like them. i love mango juice.

do you think you’re always right?

absolutely not. it's a ridiculous thing to think.

what’s your favorite season?

autumn.

best disney song?

dude let's be real, "be prepared" from tlk was fire

what’s the worst veggie?

BEANS.

do you like the color yellow?

nooo. it's one of my least favorites.

do you have any old calendars in your room?

i have two meerkat calendars from years ago that are part of my collection.

is it important to you to make a good impression on a bf/gf’s parents?

of course.

are you one of the people who think obama will be assassinated?

well, he obviously wasn't. if anyone's going to get assassinated, it'll be trump.

are you more sympathetic towards animals or humans?

animals, because they have no voice and are never truly do things out of ill intent.

when did your parents stop enforcing curfew?

i never really had a curfew.

how long does it take you in the shower?

not even 15 minutes. i've never understood how people can take such long showers. do your shit and get out.

ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing? what about a lip piercing? nose piercing?

lip piercings, yes.

ever made out in a pool?

maybe, but i don't think so.

are you a virgin?

depends on how you define "virgin." but by my definition, yes.

be honest. have you had any dirty thoughts today?

well now that you mention it.

have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise?

no.

do you have trouble reading small fonts?

not usually. depends on what the font is.

are there any old [as in, no longer on television, not necessarily old in terms of years] television shows that you could happily sit through and re-watch the entire series?

"that '70s show"

of all the decisions you have thus far made in your life, which was the best and which was the worst?

best: going to holly hill. worst: letting jason be my everything.

if you were presented with a bowl of fruit with apples, oranges, bananas, and grapes in it - which fruit would you pick to eat?

grapes.

do you have any gay friends?

yes, and i love them.

are you gay yourself?

no, but i don't discriminate against those who are.

how many brothers do you have?

one half-brother.

do you like mexican food?

noooo.

what’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)?

colleen: miracle, maxwell, maze. i couldn't even try to name all of sara's lol

do you need to shave?

no.

do you see yourself married in the next five years?

nope.

are you responsible?

if i'm being honest, no.

ever had a pregnancy scare?

no. well, because i have anxiety, i was once scared while i was with jason because i missed my period, despite the fact we never had actual sex. safe to say, i wasn't pregnant. it was my anxiety getting to me.

do you partake in gaming?

if i can, i do. however, my consoles are broken and the psu or graphics card on my gaming laptop is fried, so i haven't in like... six, seven months. it's been torture lol

who has your heart?

two internet celebrities that don't know i exist lmao

do you have an ex who still talks to you? do they want to be with you again?

no. tyler tried to, but he finally got that i wanted nothing to do with him.

ever get mad at something that happened years ago?

yep.

don’t you hate when people assume you’re jealous of somebody just because you dislike them?

y e s

do your legs get really itchy after shaving them?

YES. it's why i have a scar on my shin because i scratched the fuck out of it.

who was the last person you went out to eat with?

dad, his wife, sisters, and my sister's in-laws.

honestly, if you wanted to get laid right now, could you?

probably not. i wouldn't want to anyway, since i'm like 95% sure i want to save 'til marriage.

have you ever kissed someone with a tattoo?

regrettably.

ever had a guy best friend?

yes.

how is your last ex doing?

i don't know and i don't care.

ever given your ALL to someone?

yes, and it was the wrong fucking choice.

how do you know the majority of the people you know?

school, the internet

have you ever had pink eye?

no, but my sister has.

do you really care how many friends you or anyone else has on myspace/facebook?

nope.

how many band shirts do you own? which?

including those that don't fit anymore but i have saved, two for ozzy osbourne, two for metallica, otep, disturbed, asking alexandria, hollywood undead, iwrestledabearonce (which i no longer like), marilyn manson, two for alice cooper, and i am 100% positive i've had more. i've had a loooot.

is nutella amazing?

yaaaas queen

have you ever had anything pierced that you don’t have now?

yes. right side of my nose, left anti-tragus, right tragus, left cartilage. they all closed while i was in the hospital.

would you consider yourself “tough”?

emotionally.

do you have any twins/multiples in your family? are they identical or fraternal?

i don't think so?

who is the youngest person in your family that you know of?

my nephew, i think.

is your mom a good mom?

she tries her best and does so much for me.

who was your first friend?

brianna. we drifted apart in middle school.

would you consider yourself a shy person?

waaaay too shy.

are you on good terms with your last ex?

no.

would you rather be a toaster, or a calculator?

... lol wut

do you like beards, and if so, what is the ideal beard length?

no opinion.

did/do you play with barbies?

i did only when nicole wanted to.

what holidays do you decorate for?

halloween, christmas.

have you ever been high?

no. it just doesn't interest me. i don't like my mind being foggy. it's partially why i've never even been drunk.

do you believe in homosexuality?

yes?? it obviously exists, and there's nothing wrong with it??

do you believe in jesus?

yes. it's a historical fact that he existed, it's just a matter of if you believe in the stories of what he did or not.

who was the last person you kissed?

my boyfriend.

do you play minecraft?

i never have and i'm not interested in it.

do you like mozzarella sticks?

noooo. the only cheese i like is american.

do you listen to nickelback?

i have no shame in admitting that i like some of their songs.

do you watch pewdiepie?

i've been a fan since 2013, or maybe 2012. he's a funny guy. he's got a lot of drama around him, but i sincerely think he's entertaining. i've enjoyed watching him develop as a person and comedian.

do you like the water?

no. i literally never drink it unless i'm dehydrated.

do you like eating zebra cakes?

sure. been a long, long time since i've had one, though.

are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others?

write, draw.

have you ever felt as though you were unrecognizable to yourself?

yep.

when was the last time you took a taxi somewhere?

never.

what was the most embarrassing thing you’ve had to buy?

nothing really embarrassing.

have you ever mistaken a person’s gender?

yeah.

did you stay calm during the whole swine flu scare?

yes. i have the immune system of a god.

without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes?

yes. my old english teacher literally stopped class once just to point out to the whole class that i had super long eyelashes lol. i loved her.

is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger?

yeah. tends to be rammstein or metallica.

do any of your close friends have children?

no.

were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?

no.

when was the last time you were at the hospital, and why?

in february for a suicide attempt.

"the breakfast club," yay or nay?

i couldn't get into it.

have you ever had a piercing get infected?

yes. second piercing in my right ear lobe.

do you get embarrassed easily?

just about everything embarrasses me, so.

is anybody in your family a carpenter?

no, but my dad was.

would you date someone 8 years older than you?

yeah, but that's like my limit. i'd have to

really

like someone who was nine years older, but i'm cool with eight.

would you rather date someone older than you or younger?

older. at my current age, i wouldn't date someone younger than me.

have you ever dated someone you met online?

no.

what’s something you have a very strong opinion about?

abortion, more than anything. i'm getting more heavily adamant about gay rights.

what gets you emotional?

recalling past struggles and people, seeing others suffer, people doing good in the world, etc.

do you often try to find common ground when in a political debate?

ugh. i just don't like political debates.

do you come across as cold and aloof at times?

i'm sure.

do you think the last person you kissed is a player?

no.

if an ex said they hated you, you say?

good for you.

could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life?

no.

are you happy with yourself?

in certain aspects.

would you change yourself for the person you love?

to some degree. it depends.

has a guy ever seriously punched you more than once?

no one's ever punched me, thankfully.

do you think you were ever in love?

i can say without the slightest doubt in my mind that i was.

have you ever dated your friend’s ex?

no.

have you done bad things with your parents nearby?

define "bad things."

have you started a horrible rumor about somebody?

no, i'm not that low.

why do you believe/not believe in god?

because it just seems most logical to me. it just seems... highly, highly unlikely that the fucking stars aligned so perfectly as to make this all possible. but i perfectly respect people that think the opposite, so long they don't stomp on religion.

do you have any recurring dreams? what are they?

no.

what is your favorite baked good?

muffins, maybe.

do you have an addiction to anything?

i have an addictive personality, so, a number of things. nothing unhealthy, though.

during thunderstorms, how does your pet react?

teddy and bentley don't care, cali gets so terrified that she quakes and hides behind the couch.

are you addicted to any energy drinks?

no. energy drinks taste like poison to me.

do you like croutons in your salad?

noooo

when did you meet the last male you texted?

when i was born. he's my dad.

have you ever talked to a boyfriend about a previous ex-boyfriend?

yes. i was having a ptsd breakdown and needed to know if i could confide in him about some things.

can two living souls become one?

no.

has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language?

no, but someone probably should lol. i recently realized that i say "fuck" waaay too much. jason's family defiled me. they swear like sailors and like everyone i know noticed my profanity got worse after dating jason for a while because i was with his family a lot and it rubbed off.

why aren’t you in love with your ex anymore?

because you don't love the person that almost caused you to kill yourself.

if your best friend “came out”, how would you feel?

colleen: i would go into legitimate shock since she's for traditional marriage and whatnot. sara: she's demisexual, so.

ever kissed someone you weren’t in a relationship with?

no.

have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper?

ew, no.

what was the last song you listened to?

"cake and sodomy" by marilyn manson

have you ever been on a ferris wheel that had swinging cages/gondolas? were you in the swinging cage/gondola or too chicken to go on it?

yeah. it was at a little festival so it was sketchy as fuck too lol. i went with jason, who's afraid of heights, so that was interesting.

do you want a small or big wedding?

small.

are your parents going to buy you a car?

probably not. i don't drive, anyway.

who’s your favorite rapper? and your favorite song by this rapper?

the only rapper i genuinely like is eminem, and i really like "space bound"

how about your favorite band? and your favorite song by this band?

oh brother... ozzy osbourne: "trap door," metallica: "whiskey in the jar," otep: uhhh "special pets" or "apex predator," a day to remember: "i'm made of wax, larry, what are you made of?," marilyn manson: "heart-shaped glasses," rammstein: "nebel" or "donaukinder," cradle of filth: probably their cover of "mr. crowley," korn: "here to stay"

do you hate your last name? do you want to get married so you can change it?

i don't like my last name, but i don't want to get married just so it'll change.

who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? why did you break up?

if you're talking about the first guy who ever had the title of "boyfriend," aaron. we were in the 7th grade and i just didn't like him like that.

do you drink coffee?

no, it's bitter as fuck and just overall gross.

what outfit makes you feel the most attractive?

you assume any outfit makes me attractive.

what do you think of people who always wear make-up?

whatever.

has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you?

i think so.

are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not?

no, i'm straight.

have you ever wanted to vlog?

no. too awkward for that shit.

who was the last person you held hands with?

ugh.

have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly?

what the fuck, no.

have you ever seen a live bat?

yeah. they're so cute.

would you ever let your child drop out of high school?

depends on the reason.

do you pronounce “aunt” like “want” or “ant”?

"ant"

would you ever let a girl/boy put you through hell and back?

never again.

have you watched porn alone before?

i don't watch porn to begin with.

what do you think about weed?

i think it smells fucking awful more than anything.

recommend a book:

i recommend "johnny got his gun" by dalton trumbo more than any book on the face of the planet. the writing style is very unique and a bit hard to understand sometimes, but the meaning behind it. it increased my pacifism by a mile.

do you like to cook? or do you always prefer take out?

i can't cook. i literally burned a hot dog to where it split in half in the microwave.

are pets allowed to be on the furniture in your house?

yes. they live here.

declawing cats: for or against?

against

what theory (serious or not) has always intrigued you?

if the moon landing was fake or not. i believe it was real, but there is some seriously compelling evidence that it was a studio trick. i'd highly recommend reading about it.

do you consider yourself a perfectionist?

about some things.

#survey #quiz #questions #asks #answered

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nora-reads-homestuck · 8 years ago

Text

Nora Reads HS Part 67

Pages 6094-6153

Heya, guys. I’m working on some hectic personal projects at the moment that are eating up a lot of my free time, but I’m on a staycation today and have decided to devote it to Homestuck! So, last time we got a closer look at young Mom, a.k.a. LittleLonde, and learned that Bro’s auto responder isn’t just a glorified answering machine, but a shades-dwelling AI with a level of intelligence seemingly on par with a human’s. We were also treated to the hilarious revelation that LittleLonde’s chat style is more like Dave’s than Rose’s, and Bro’s (or at least the responder’s) style is more like Rose’s than Dave’s. Will the two of them share other similarities with their opposing ectobiological offspring? Will Bro like knitting, in addition to making weird robots, and LittleLonde enjoy laying down some choice rhymes? And what on earth is the Condesce up to?

Let’s find out!

*click*

Jake: Exit.

...Aaaaaand it’s another character select screen! And I still can’t click on LittleLonde or Bro, rrghh. I guess I’ll click on Jane first, as much as I want to know more about Jake’s merciless stalkerbot.

But if you've been her already, there's really no point to this thing anymore. Time to move on.

...Oh. Wow dang, I’m dumb. OK THEN, MOVING ON.

Michael Cera??? Is this because of that poster in John’s house that kind of looked like... Hussie, you beautiful motherfucker. On the other side of the hall, we’ve got a Bing Crosby instead of a harlequin. So this is what the Crockbert decor looks like without the influence of Gamzee’s chucklevoodoos.

You are suddenly Jane again. Or, you suddenly keep being Jane. Who can say for sure???

Maybe next time I’ll be paying enough attention that I don’t keep cycling back through the same character select pages. :|a

Hopefully your dad is still out back washing the car. Ideally this is one of his legendary infinite car washes. What can you say? Dad fancies his automotive ablutions.

Both Dad’s and adult!Dave’s water bills must be outrageous. Luckily they’ve probably got assloads of money to cover it.

...Wait a sec, since Jane’s dad is alive, why isn’t HE the heir to Crockercorp?? Unless it can only pass down to females, who have to take up the mantle of Betty Crocker?

You slip the HALLWAY CERA a furtive wink for good luck.

Ahahaha.

Just one of your dad's bland HALLWAY DOUCHEBAGS.

FUCK I JUST SPIT WATER EVERYWHERE

Another example of his cornball dad tastes, which make you roll your eyes and shrug. Still, it's preferable to how it used to be. Years ago he would work really hard to mimic your interests throughout the household. Gaudy paintings of sitcom legends covering the walls, hideous detective figurines littered everywhere. You think it's better that he embrace his own interests rather than try to pander to yours.

Huh, that’s interesting. Could it also have been the case with Rose’s mom that she was trying to connect with her through sharing the same interests? Or is this simply meant to tell us that Dad is so much of a non-person that he automatically reflects the interests of whatever kid he’s got under his roof?

It felt a bit forced, and your early teen years were filled with daily rounds of familial STRIFE. Not so much anymore. Now whenever there is a father-daughter disagreement, you settle things in an adult fashion by being honest about your feelings and talking it through,

Ah, good! Hopefully this means LittleLonde and Bro will have less enmity toward their guardians than Rose and Dave.

and also by sneaking around the house in silly disguises.

Pfffff.

Jane: Take a peek into living room.

JOOOHN, NOOOOOOOOOO, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIIIIIIIIE???

Ahem. Who’s that douchebag in the pork pie hat on the left? Fred Astaire maybe?

There's a familiar face. A friendly face. Old poppop Crocker, smiling from beyond. Your dad sure misses him. He doesn't like to talk about the day he died. Some incident involving a tall bookshelf, a ladder, and a mysterious young woman in a suspicious looking hat. You have often fantasized about putting on your dirty old fedora and your Frenchest looking mustache to go tracking down this felonious broad and bring her to justice. But your dad always says best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Oh jeez. What will she do when she realizes the felonious broad is none other than herself?? >:O

There's some other plucky looking tool there next to him. Dunno who that guy is.

Yeah, I can’t really tell.

I WARNED YOU ABOUT ASTAIRES, BRO.

You were afraid this might be the case. Your dad has blocked the front door with the REFRIGERATOR. Looks like he's taking the grounding seriously this time.

Holy shit, Dad, overboard much. How the heck is LittleLonde supposed to put the cruxtruder there if the fridge is in the way??

You aren't about to go smashing glass and making a ruckus though. You'll need a solution involving more stealth. You guess you have a plan in mind as a last resort, but you'd rather it not come to that.

> Jane: Consult with poppop.

...Um??? What is an urn of ashes supposed to do, other than get toppled at the most hilarious and inopportune moment?

OH GOD OH NO, OH NOOOOOOOOOOO. So apparently Dad’s taken a page out of Jade/Grandpa’s book and had John stuffed. What do you want to bet he stipulated in his will that if he were preserved, his descendants had to do hilarious things with the corpse?

...Also, if he died the same fiery, explosive death Nanna did, how is there enough left of him to stuff?

It practically went without saying your dad keeps poppop stuffed and mounted in front of the fireplace, as is the family tradition. Poppop grew up with his legendary humorist grandfather stuffed in front of the fireplace, and so did his grandfather. This was stipulated firmly in the will, at the end of a long list of joke stipulations. (Dad knew this was a real stipulation though.)

Ahahaha, almost right on the money. So John lived with a stuffed Colonel Sassacre, but who did Colonel Sassacre have stuffed in front of his fireplace?

You always did find it a little macabre though, trying to watch tv and eat dinner on the couch with a dead old man standing about five feet away. You'd honestly prefer he not be kept here in the living room. Sometimes you tell dad you really want poppop in the attic. He says the mere fact you call it that tells him you're not ready.

The mere fact that she calls what what? That she calls the attic an attic? What else is she supposed to call it; the super-hive storage compartment??

What's that, poppop? It seems he's concerned that you may not be properly equipped. You prove to him that you indeed had no intention of leaving the house without your trusty joke book.

Oh wow. So if I’ve got the timeline right (and I’m not overly sure that I do), the Sassacre’s John is holding is the same one that actually went through the game with him, and not just the one that got sent down on the meteor with him. The meteor Sassacre’s was much cleaner and wasn’t yet covered in oil.

Hah, fun call back!

YES, I am going out with this book! No, I will not go get an unabridged copy! No, I will not take yours! I can hardly even lift it! Oh, that is so preposterous. Do you even hear what you're saying? I will be fine! This is a perfectly funny book and it contains many incredibly funny jokes! Oh, will you just stop it. I am going now. Good day!!! >:B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a passive-aggressive smiley to top it off. >:B

OH DEAR GOD.

You just remembered something your alien friend said about the big old book downstairs, and trusting words written by your own hand.

My god, that thing looks like shit. How many trips has the poor book taken by now? How is it not falling apart??

Uh, whoops. Sorry, poppop.

Yeah, “”whoops””.

> Jane: Retrieve arm.

This may be the very first time this command was actually 100% literal, and it’s beautiful.

Looks like it got used to wipe an ogre’s ass.

Is your friend suggesting that you were the one who wrote this inscription? You find that idea a bit hard to swallow. Still, your friends are always babbling about time travel...

Friends, plural? Just how much do Bro and LittleLonde know about the game??

You always thought this inscription was written to your poppop by his nanna, who was your great great grandmother, founder of the corporation you'll inherit in a few years.

Hah, that’s a laugh.

In any case, this message to poppop from his sweet old nanna is the best evidence you have to dispute all this evil batterwitch nonsense. She clearly cared for her grandson very much, and would never start a company responsible for the things it's accused of, let alone be alive today to perpetrate them. But then, what if she wasn't the one who wrote it? This thought makes you very nervous.

What if, indeed? Oh lawd, is she going to have one of those heroic BSOD moments John is prone to at the slightest revelation?

You suddenly remember your dream. What did it mean? You should talk to Jake about all this.

YES. YES, GOOD. *rubs hands together furiously*

Oh god, they’re both gonna get brainjacked, aren’t they.

GG: J, how goes the bunnyquest?

No need to be coy, Harley Quinn, we already know his name!

GG: What is it that has you hamstrung? Did you ever track down the slippery Mr. Strider?

And now I’m picturing young Bro slathered in Crisco. Great.

GT: Not exactly. GT: His stupid doppelglasses have set me on a wild goose chase to go pry his dumb robots chest open and swipe its uranium. GG: Sounds dangerous! GT: No shit. GT: I think id rather deal with the monsters.

With... the... what now?? I don’t remember the island having anything living on it besides Jade and Bec. ...We haven’t seen Bec, I presume, because he’s not the First Guardian anymore. So who raised him after Jade died??

GG: Why is it that our two best friends in the world always seem to place themselves at the source of all our problems, while simultaneously presenting their only solutions?

The M.O. of many a movie villain, just waiting in the wings with their million-dollar wonder drug or superhero-killing ammunition. Hmmm...

GG: I'm debating whether or not to enlist his help in the matter of my current imprisonment. But I'd rather keep it as a plan of last resort. GT: Dont do it jane its a trap!!!

Two questions here: how is Bro going to help, and how/why would it be a trap?

GG: Right. Well, not to keep you too long, since we both still have our missions ahead of us, but I wanted to tell you about that dream I had. GT: Oh yeah! GT: I was curious about that. Tell me everything and make it snappy!

I guess the ‘shitknickers’ is implied. Is she going to start her story with “It seems”?

GG: Ok, but, I should say that the nature of the dream was a bit worrisome. GG: And I'm concerned it may have implications for the game we're about to play. GG: So it's probably best that I tell you about it before you leave.

Oh jeez. What exactly did she see?

D’aww, how cute! I love the Prospit dreamers’ dresses.

GG: I woke up on the planet which we have been told about by our mutual acquaintance. GG: The one covered in golden cities. Prospit, remember? GT: Oh. Wouldnt it be prospits moon? GG: Yes, you're right. It was the moon, actually. I could see the planet on the dark horizon.

Wow, not only do LittleLonde, Bro, and mystery!troll know more than they should, but even Jane and Jake are familiar with the game’s constructs.

GG: Are you sure you haven't woken up there before? GT: Haha i WISH. GT: I have received reports from jade about this as well. She liked to talk about her dreams on prospits moon a lot. GG: I see. The impression I have developed is that this is supposed to be a real place, and all who dream there have shared experiences. GG: Did Jade ever mention seeing us there? GT: No but why would she? This was long before we were born! She was dreaming there like a hundred years ago or something.

Are you sure?

GASP! Those Prospitians are all naked!! Is that what they look like before prototyping occurs?

GG: I explored the moon, and began to notice people gathering in the streets. GG: But they weren't human. They were funny looking, perfectly white creatures. GT: Yeah those are prospitians. GT: They have these hard carapace shells and also have something to do with chess i think?

Well at least we don’t have to endure everything getting explained in excruciating detail all over again.

...WAIT DON’T FUCKING TELL ME MYSTERY!TROLL IS GOING TO GIVE ANOTHER SPIEL ON TROLL ROMANCE.

GG: Well, I don't know if they had much to do with chess here. GG: The more closely I observed, the more they appeared somewhat despondent. GT: Like... GT: Sad? GG: Yes. GG: I determined they were in mourning, actually.

Oh, shit. There’s only three people I can think of that they might have been mourning, and none of them is a good person to have die before the game even fucking starts.

GT: Hey. GT: Jane you said i was in this dream. Where do i come in? GG: Shoosh! I'm getting there.

OH FUCK.

Ah okay, so they are wearing clothes, just boring monochromatic ones.

GG: More and more Prospitians were filing out of the buildings every moment. GG: They all began to form a single, major procession. GG: When I got closer, I could see that some were in tears. GG: I realized this was a funeral.

If it’s not for the White King or Queen, then...

GG: I heard whispers, but couldn't make out what they were saying, so I got closer. GG: They were all saying the same thing, over and over.

All work and no play makes... Jack... an omnipotent god dog?

GG: "The Page is dead." GG: "Our hope is lost."

OH NOOOOOOO! How the heck is he ever going to go god tier?? :’(

GT: The page? GT: Whos that?

It’s you, Jake. :’( :’( :’(

GG: Jake. GG: The Page was you.

A beautiful image, and somber words, made only slightly more humorous by the fact that they echo Toby Fox’s illicit masterpiece.

GT: Oh. GT: Drat.

About as expressive as Dave’s ‘welp’.

GT: Are you sure?

Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

GG: Yes, I saw your body lying in a sort of coffin, on a bed of flowers. You were dead as a doornail.

If he were actually named Jake (Jacob) Harley, that would have been quite clever. Ah well, near miss.

GG: Everyone was so distraught! GG: Including me. :(

Awww. Either they’re totally destined for each other, or... well, we’ll see. I ship it, I guess.

GG: I hope I'm not too late to "warn" you, though to be frank I don't have the foggiest clue what it is I'm warning you about. GG: "Dear Jake, oh please do try not to... have already... died in my dream? Likely while you were sleeping, perhaps peacefully?"

Yeah, you’re a little late on that one. Unless we missed something about this all being in one of Skaia’s dream clouds... in which case it would inevitably happen anyway. Gosh, this is bad!! We know there’s an alternate way to get to the god tiers in the form of the quest slabs at the center of Prospit/Derse, but the few times we saw that in action, it was the players’ dream selves that died on them.

...Come to think of it, why not use the quest slab for a funeral bier instead of the coffin? It might have made for a far more interesting and, uh, lively funeral.

GT: And um same goes for you about being careful what with these various rogues accosting you with foul play lately and whatnot...

Rogue... player class? Eh, could be reaching.

GG: Now let's get this silly old adventure off to the races before the coat of dust it's growing gets any thicker.

Coat of dust? A coat antithetical to Lord English’s technicolor dreamcoat?

> Jake: Get silly old adventure off to the races.

And it looks like we’re Jake again!

He’s wearing cleats? How fucking dorky. Now PLEASE don’t fake us out the second he steps outside, unless it’s to show us LittleLonde or Bro. I could live with that.

Ok, something REALLY weird is going on here, and I don’t just mean the pumpkins. That doesn’t look like Jade’s house as I’m used to seeing it. It looks like... the arm that connects the bedroom to the main body of the house broke off? What’s the deal??

SHIT, I was right. And not only are there a metric fuckton of pumpkin vines, but also... a whole forest? I don’t remember seeing a single tree on Jade’s island. So things post-Scratch are different, in ways that aren’t yet quite clear. What was the catalyst for change?

Although these pumpkin vines are amazingly prolific, every morning when you leave your bedroom, you'd swear half the pumpkins vanished over night. It's probably just the FAUNA eating them. Not that it matters, because they keep growing right back.

Are these ‘fauna’ the monsters he was talking about with Jane? Did Jade have a whole safari imported or something?

It wasn't always overgrown like this. When you first discovered the TRANSMATERIALIZER, you started messing around with it haphazardly. You kept appearifying pumpkins from somewhere.

OH MY FUCKING GOD IT WAS JAKE ALL ALONG. And Jade never knew, did she?? That’s fucking priceless.

It was just pumpkin after pumpkin, until one time a copy of the bunny you inherited from grandma showed up, much less old and tattered of course.

Aha, so that’s how their communication started! And presumably also how he had two versions of the bunny, one to give to John, and the other to send to Jane. One question down, 99 million to go.

You brought all the surplus pumpkins home and left them lying about. Then the seeds sprouted and started growing out of control. You guess that's what happens when you introduce nonindigenous FLORA into the wilderness.

Ok but pumpkins don’t grow on trees, so that still doesn’t explain the forWHOA WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT IN THE BACKGROUND??

“”FAUNA””?????

KARKAT’S LUSUS???????

HOW THE FUCK

DID THAT EVEN GET THERE, I DON’T KNOW

> Jake: Be completely oblivious to thing in background.

Hah, that almost sounds like a user submitted request.

You successfully fail to notice it.

Pfffahahaha.

Wait notice what? You don't even know what we're talking about here. But it doesn't matter for now because suddenly a wild chum assails you with banter!!!

Woo, more LittleLonde!! Yes, yes, I am ok with this.

Oh my god, it IS Karkat’s lusus, except horrifyingly even bigger. And it looks like it’s got it out for Jake...

TG: holy shit jaaaje TG: lol *k

Jaje. Yes. Totally should have been his name.

GT: Howdy! GT: What is all this commotion about? TG: nothin TG: just your basic run o the mill holy shit TG: and also TG: hi

OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE’S ADORABLE. I haven’t even known her that long, but she’s quickly rocketing up my favorites list. I’ll have to do a recap of the list when I’m done with this Act Act.

TG: also TG: want 2 know TG: what do you want for ur wigglin day

Awww, that’s cute too. Did she pick up that term from mystery!troll?

GT: Im not really abreast of the raddest jargon that the cool kids toss about these days. GT: Maybe because i live alone on an island? I dont know but in any case are you referring to my upcoming birthday? TG: ys GT: I see. Very thoughtful of you to consider so early! GT: I dont wager i could advise with much specificity but i can all but assure you i will find any gesture of yours to be totally capital! TG: eeaauuuuurghh you are so fuckin adorable

NO U.

GT: Um... *wrings at kerchief with perspiring mitts* TG: YOINK nabs kerfief an stops RPing for rest of chat

Ahahaha, shut the fuck down.

TG: i wouldnt get the chance TG: unless we play this game like a bunch ofsuckers obviously

*[S] Cascade flashbacks*

TG: if you want 2 know what i think.......... GT: Yes? TG: do ya? GT: I do want to know what you think! GT: I always want to know. Because you are always smart and sassy.

Truth.

TG: i really dont think we should GT: Should what now? TG: play the game GT: Why not? TG: the barnoness wants us to TG: * baroness TG: i dont know why TG: everything i know about it says it should be a good game and real important and itll let us all get togehter and do somethin great and be besf friends for maybe eternity? TG: but she took all that and twisted it somehow

On the one hand, I know that they really do have to play for the story to go anywhere, but on the other, if the drunken Cassandra gets a bad feeling about it, you know shit’s gonna go wrong.

TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen TG: * horbible TG: * whore bible TG: ^ bullseye

PLEASE CAN I JUST MARRY HER???

GT: Well... GT: Whore bibles notwithstanding i have it on terrific authority that playing this game will be incredibly important! GT: So perhaps youre right maybe we are part of her evil plan? But does that also necessarily rule out that good will come of it? TG: i guess not TG: i just have a bad feelin

...Aaaand she said the words, so it’s pretty much guaranteed. But Jake’s not wrong, in any case; some good will come out of it by the end. I hope.

TG: maybay im just like this nutty ass bitsh twirling yarn from a shitwizards nappy brown beard but i cant bring myself to trust a cake sellin genocidal alien overlard sea queen TG: * overl... TG: n/m that santence chx out GT: Agreed. :D

ALRIGHT, that’s it, I’m setting a date. You’re all invited to our wedding this upcoming 4/13.

TG: so what is the itinerary again GT: Intinerwhosit? TG: regarding the game TG: whosplaying in what order etc GT: Oh. Is there such an itinerary? TG: yeah i think so i think its going like TG: i start with jane and bring her in the session TG: then ds brings me in and you bring him in and them jane does you and closes the loop

That makes sense, although if we go the way of the pre-Scratch session, “”DS”” will be serving more than one player. Ugh, ENOUGH with this initial shit, JUST GIVE ME THE D!!!

...Ahem.

GT: Where are you getting this intel? Did you guys make a plan or something? TG: nah dont wory about it

From mystery!troll, I guess. Though for all her talk of causal spoilers, she sure has imparted just about everything ‘nonessential’ down to the finest detail.

GT: Ooh, these illicit hacked warez which i heartell were recently jimmied piping hot off the interclouds? TG: ahahah i love that you were barely even joking with that statement bup yeah basically GT: The silicon pickpocket strikes again!!! Whom is the wiser? Nobody. TG: ffffffffff <3

FUCK I love these kids. Almost makes it acceptable that I’m probably not going to see the original human kids for a while yet.

TG: k ill send it but GT: Yeah? TG: jake GT: What? TG: jjjjjaaake GT: !!!!!? TG: youre wearin one of ur dumb computers now arent you GT: Uh... TG: you are all thinktyping at me right now while wearing something rudiculous TG: * RUDEdiculous (hi five 2 self) GT: Hogswallop! Why would you even think that? GT: Thats so stupid.

Eeeeee, call back! Also, is it totally pathetic of me that I fucking teared up laughing rereading John and Rose’s banter? I LOVE ALL THESE KIDS SO MUCH.

W’uh oh. I’d bet that’s not just a friendly tap on the shoulder inbound.

TG: im not letting either of you run this file on your shitty brainwashy propaganda helmets or anything else u got to wear to run TG: tis my one condition

YES, AND A GOOD AND REASONABLE ONE, TOO. Listen to the drunk, Jake!!

GT: Then you have decided to play in spite of your reservations? TG: i dunno i guess GT: Bravo! TG: dont all bravo @ me man youre just bravoing a big ass shrug TG: i mean maybe TG: i have every reason to want to play it TG: im actually dying to play it ok

Well fuck, I hope that’s not foreshadowing. Of course, the chances of that being true are like, infinitesimal.

TG: ahh CHRIST waht a geneltman TG: *fixfix

Huh, this must be awful to read for dyslexics.

TG: but thats the thing with you TG: you belvieve in people and also the things they tell you TG: jane never believed my crap TG: never any of my warnings about the baroness TG: didnt believe any of the stuff about my mom TG: and so on and so on and soon

Makes sense, since he’s a Page of Hope!

TG: til after awhile i just stopped even trying to convince her hard or bring up any crazy shit TG: because u know doing a lot of songs and dances to convince somebody who thinks youre jush shitting them all the time kind of wears on a friendship TG: and who even needs that

Awww, that’s actually super sad. I know how frustrating it is when you need somebody to believe you, and they don’t, or they refuse. It’s pretty terrible.

TG: but you believe in stuff TG: probbly because the more crazy fake shit you believe in the more open the world gets and the more chance there is for adventures being real right GT: Right o! If a man believes hard enough in imaginary things then i dare say that makes them slightly less fake!

The power of a Page of Hope, I presume? I wonder if we’ll see this in action! It could have some great applications in-game.

TG: its one of those things jane likes about u so much GT: It is? TG: which TG: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr im not supposed to talk about 2 u evr so nm GT: Talk about what? TG: nope GT: You mean how um... GT: Well a way in which i suppose... TG: no nope GT: Jane is prone to looking upon me with what i fathom to be more than just friendly affection?

OH NOOOOOO. Cat’s out of the bag, I guess! How will he react? Did he already have an inkling, or is this a surprise? And does he like Jane baaaaack?

TG: nope nope nope nope nope nope TG: hey look who didnt say nothin about that why it is this silly fuckin drunk girl over here

YOU’RE NOT HELPING YOUR CASE, LITTLELONDE.

GT: Its a tricky issue. And you know i adore jane and please dont think i havent given some thought to... GT: Well that angle on our relationship i guess.

Oh jeez, I’m sensing a ‘but’.

GT: Oh. Yeah i can see the dilemma this causes for your friendship with her. GT: Ill drop it. TG: whew TG: ok ont this topic TG: i am now an forever TG: miss zupperlips TG: * zupperlups TG: * ziperlups TG: sjkhfskjf TG: * MISS ZUIPPERPIPS TG: fuck TG: k this is me 4 futref TG: ZIIIIIIIP TG: ^+++++++^

I, NORA, DO THEE WED, ET CETERA ET CETERA

...Shit I don’t even know her name.

GT: Haha oh my. GT: Nothing is escaping that lovely ladys whistlemaker! Its shut tight as a drum!! TG: mmmmrrmmmnnmmm GT: Whoa wait i hope that didnt sound dirty...

Well it didn’t until you said something, JAKE.

GT: If in the future i would like to bring up certain topics completely unsolicited by one who may be sworn to secrecy on those very matters... GT: And im in need of i guess neutral and totally non compromising advice from a friend do you think that miss zuipperpips might unseal those scandalous metal choppers for a bit? GT: Fuck that also sounded kinda dirty!!! God dammit. TG: rm TG: unzip yeah of course TG: im totals your bee eff effsy jake TG: i am like TG: AT PEACE with that reality fromerly known as a raw fuckin deal for what avenues it closes betewen u and i that bein your bffsy has got to mean but yeah

GT: Wait what? TG: i am just chill as fuck about being a pale friend to all varieties of cute and eligible as hell peeps TG: do you see my shoulder and how it says hey friend plz deposit tears here? TG: that is a LEGIT invite and is like sincere as fuckin BANANAS

Ok so I’m laughing at this, but at the same time, that’s another troll concept she has no business knowing about. Damn, I wonder how the story would have gone if the original four kids had been as friendly with the trolls as these kids are. Would have saved a ton of time, I bet.

GT: Oh. Im sure it is but i dunno how much crying im going to be doing... GT: Probably none i think.

Pfffahaha.

TG: up to his neck in TG: all the wopes TG: * woes GT: Nah its cool. TG: speaking of which TG: i heard hes making u track down his roboself TG: to kill it or something for uranimum

So... she used ‘speaking of which’ to bridge a conversation about people liking Jake to talking about Bro without even mentioning him by name. I guess that means everybody really DOES want the English booty.

GT: Sigh... TG: and TG: the AR disabled the novice setting??? GT: Yes. TG: hahahahahahhahahahshshshjsjsj TG: *hahaha TG: u r so fucked

I know it’s getting redundant, but AHAHA I LOVE HER.

GT: I was actually just getting all of my final affairs in order when you messaged me. GT: I was to bequeath to you all my WAB posters. TG: wab wut GT: Weekend at bernies dammit!!!!!! TG: oh fuck yeay TG: im always in need of something to put under my cats shit box

HEEEEEEEEE.

TG: ok tell you what TG: as an early wigglin day thing u know what ill do GT: I still dont really get the wiggling thing but no what? TG: ill enable the brobots novice setting again for you GT: Wow... GT: Thanks i think???

How the heck is she going to do that? Convince the auto responder? Or is she really as technically inclined as she jokes about being?

Look, LOOK, IT’S EVEN GRUMBLING IN KARKAT GRAY.

It is time to get DEAD SERIOUS about hunting down a robot that looks exactly like your best friend, destroy it with your guns somehow, and steal its uranimum.

Well, it’s a little disturbing when you put it like that. Somehow I didn’t realize that the robot actually really looks like Bro...?

You totally forgot about the FRIGHTENING FAUNA on this island, and its regrettable REALNESS ATTRIBUTE.

OH M YGOD, HIS FUCKING BEDSHEETS. I HAD THE CLUE RIGHT THERE AND I MISSED IT.

> Jake: Turn around.

I smell another psyche or a character select screen...

WHOA OR NOT. WOW THAT THING IS HUGE.

> [S??????] ==>

Hmm, that’s new. *click*

...Eh? It’s just a static gif page. Is this a call back to Karkat not having an actual strife flash?

You leap into the tropical island fray in an attempt to violently pacify the gigantic Earth crabdad.

CRABDAD. CANON. And it’s not even that far out of the realm of reason for a non-troll to call it that, like how weirdo Yankees call crawfish ‘crawdads’. Also, that’s NOT the correct method for shoosh-papping, Jake.

What is he even doing here? The question doesn't even occur to you. The island has been crawling with these things for as long as you can remember.

HMMM. So... LittleLonde is spouting troll slang, and Jake’s island has Alternian lususes (lusii?) all over it. HIC is pretty much fucking guaranteed to be Earth’s new First Guardian.

You glance at the crudely rendered battle, direct your browser to the HOMESTUCK BANDCAMP PAGE, and browse for suitable battle music. Oh god, there are so many songs. Which one would be a good fit for this duel? Wait, yes, there's one. That's perfect. You hit play, close your eyes, and become lost in visions of gnashing crustacean carapace, smoking M9 casings, and Jake doing that thing where he flies through the air shooting two guns at once. Yes, so awesome.

Ahahaha, totally a call back. I’m not clicking that link, though, because it looks like it goes to the Bandcamp’s main page.

You do the thing where you fly through the air shooting two guns at once. That thing isn't even that big of a deal for you. You do that thing practically every day on hellmurder island. Your furious salvo of deadly bullets scares the FRIGHTENING FAUNA off into the jungle, REALNESS ATTRIBUTE and all.

That, or it’s just running away from an even bigger monster, like in that stupid fucking scene from Episode I.

...OR IT’S RUNNING AWAY FROM TINKERBULL. :D :D :D

Another triumph for adventure. Time to blow the smoke off your berettas and saunter off into the... whoa not so fast! Behind you, Jake!!!

What’s it gonna do, make him sneeze with its tinkerdust??

AH HA. GOT YOU YOU SON OF A, SHIT, WAIT.

WHAT????

NO, OH NOOOO, GOD WHY WOULD YOU EVEN... FUCK!!!

D: D: D:

This is almost as bad as the FIRST time Tinkerbull got killed.

Oh nooo. It was only one of those sweet little fairy bulls. You just murdered him inappropriately with your multi-bullet device. You love those little fairy bulls. You feel just awful.

Well at least he’s appropriately upset about it. And it seems there’s more than one Tinkerbull-like lusus on the island?

OH SHIT BROBOT. Yeah, it’s stalking the shit out of him, isn’t it.

So we’ve got a silhouette, which, unsurprisingly, looks just like the halfway point between baby Bro and adult Bro. HOW IS THAT HAIR EVEN POSSIBLE.

So like... I’m looking at this and trying to figure out the geometry of how dat coif would actually work in 3d, and... yeah. I got nothin’.

> Jane: Implement plan of last resort.

A wild Jane appears! Maybe she’s got her own brobot or something that’s going to help her escape?

You have waited around long enough. Dad's legendary car wash won't last forever, and the day isn't getting any younger. You pack up poppop's book and bust out your trusty HOMING DEVICE.

Homing device for...?

Here goes nothing.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?????

WAIT, OH GOD, WHAT’S HAPPENING.

ILHGHKSDJKGHSKDHSKDD

*hurk*

IT’S NOT A SMUBBIT. IT’S A FUCKING SHITKICKING BITCH ASS BROBOT BUNNY. HE BUILT HER A BROBOT BUNNY.

...I debated ‘bronny’, but that’s too close to the Subculture Which Shall Not Be Named.

Anyway, it’s as cute as it is horrifying and I kind of love it. I mean, look at its eensy little sword!! Also, interesting that the blue of it and the brobot’s hat logo is a perfect inverse of Bro’s orange.

God he is such a little troublemaker. Hopefully he will mind his manners today.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, her face. <3 <3 <3

WHOA WHAT THE SHIT, Jake’s whole house is destroyed!! How did this happen???

Not only is the island forested now, but the volcano on Jade’s island that was dormant is now active, and there’s a fucking PYRALSPITE flying overhead. Also a whale lusus like the one Eridan killed, and... fucking... Those are a bunch of Aurthours, aren’t they.

I just... I don’t even.

Jake: Behold zoological splendor.

JESUS UDDERFUCKING CHRIST. Fuck, I’m having Humanimals flashbacks.

Looks like the centaur herd is out in full force today. You have to be careful about walking under them. There are extreme hazards involved, such as the threat of falling manure, or milk.

UGH UGH UGH, I just had one of those really unpleasant full body shivers.

HOLY SHIT. It just occurred to me that the frog temple has EIGHT PILLARS. Did it always? Did I just miss it way back in the day? If so, shame on me.

There are the ruins you'll be making your way toward once you've got the uranium.

Aha, so the transmaterializer is inside the temple!

Still need to locate that enigmatic brobot. He's out there, somewhere. Just watching. You can feel it. Can't let your guard down for a second, or you'll get served like a dude on butler island.

...Considering it’s populated by a herd of Aurthours, it basically IS butler island.

Aaaaah, it’s a whole flock of Tinkerbulls!

Uh oh. Something's coming up.

Wait, if the whale lusus is in the sky, then what’s this?

OH FUCK, IT’S GAMZEE’S CAPRICORN SEAGOAT.

AND IT IS NOT HAPPY.

Unfortunately, that’s where I’ve got to leave it for tonight! Not as long a post as I’d have liked it to be, but I ought to have time to finish up the stretch before my next audio reaction very soon. Looks like we’re switching back over to Jane next, which is fine, because as much as I want to see how this fight plays out, I’m curious as SHIT about the robunny.

Until next time! ^0^

#NRHS #Nora reads Homestuck #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #Part 67 #Act 6 #A6A1

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