#these series of questions were especially enjoyable

[rhyrhy]

Tryouts! Series

𖤐 Synopsis: Abby Anderson, known for her carefree reputation, finds herself drawn to a no-nonsense cheerleader. What starts as harmless flirting takes a sharp left into chaos, featuring bruised egos, unresolved baggage, As tensions rise, the real question remains—can the two of you move past first impressions?

[Content Warnings:] MDNI, angst, modern AU, sexual tension, fuckboy quarterback Abby x mean cheerleader reader, angst/smut, gays who can’t communicate. Intoxication, Cringe.

࿔ A/N: back from vacation with a little something Based on this drabble. I know this trope has been run into the ground, but let’s be real—the gay version of everything is always better

࿔ Wc: 7k and counting | moodboards

-Chapter Index-

Prologue: (below) “how to ruin a party in 30 seconds or less”

Chapter 1: “denial is a team sport”

Chapter 2: cold shoulders

3 in progress

How to Ruin a Party in 30 Seconds or Less

“Fuckboy, player, heartbreaker.”

She’d heard it all—each insult more cliché than the last.

Abby never set out to be any of those things. It just kind of… happened. She came out later than most, stumbling through her sexuality, unsure how to carry it at first. It felt heavier than the 203 pounds she could deadlift. In high school, dating was a formality—one guy, no real connection.

It wasn’t until college that it clicked: she’d never felt right with them because she wasn’t meant to. Most labels felt strange, even suffocating. “Lesbian” felt too big, too official, so she avoided saying it aloud for as long as possible—unsure if it would even roll off her tongue correctly.

Then came her first real relationship. It ended before it even began. She wasn’t ready, fumbling through the emotional part, ghosting before things got too serious. After that, she stuck to what she did best: keeping things light. Hookups were easier than messy emotions. They didn’t ask for much, and she didn’t have to give anything away. Eventually, the reputation followed. At first, she snapped back at teammates’ jokes, but in time she learned to laugh it off. Honestly? It wasn’t entirely wrong.

Now, she wore what she used to fear as a second skin. Attending her dream school, she earned pats on the back from a team she’d only ever dreamed of joining. Sweat beaded on her forehead after every game—a reminder of how far she’d come. This was her paradise.

But deep down, Abby knew she was just dodging the real issue. She wasn’t afraid of commitment; she was afraid of feeling something for someone and not knowing what to do with it. And so, she remained safely in her own world.

But you? You didn’t get it. How could this possibly be enjoyable?

Sitting in the middle of a frat party, you longed to go home, wash your makeup off, and collapse onto your sheets. You hated events like these—especially when sober. The booming bass, the humid, sticky air, the blinding lights, and worse—the clumsy chaos of students. You never understood why you let your friends drag you here. But as part of the cheer team, skipping meant endless group-chat nagging—and you never were in the mood for that.

Throwing a ball around or getting tackled by girls twice your size wasn’t your thing. But ponytails, the rustle of pompoms, and the feeling of wind with every toe touch—that was your world.

Your best friend and team captain, Dina, who had held your hand through every drill, every first shave in middle school, and your recent breakup, was nowhere to be seen.

After settling in the living room, you figured a joint would help you zone out until Dina—and the rest of your ride—showed up. At some point, you found yourself face-to-face with the campus’ one and only Abby Anderson.

She’d been throwing looks all night, a silent challenge that told you everything: Abby was a well-known player, and the rumors weren’t flattering. Kissing and quitting? Not your scene. You’d crossed paths before—mostly during warm-ups on the field—but tonight, she slunk onto the couch beside you and started a conversation as if it were casual banter. Of course, it was calculated—but you indulged her, if only a little.

You were not interested.

Not after Valeria Martinez paraded you around as her girl, making sure everyone knew you weren’t the only one. Learning it all from some stupid “expose” page run by an idiot with too much time—it had been a sapphic nightmare. You’d poured your heart into routines and performances, trying to block out the frown that threatened to appear every time you entered the locker room. You’d held back soft sobs over a girl who played you like a fiddle—a bench-warming football player.

So no. You were absolutely not interested in going through that again.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

Yet, unknowingly, you were judging Abby—a 6’0-something force of nature—entirely by her cover. If you’d looked closer—if you’d seen beyond the cool exterior—you’d know that Abby had her own routine. The gym, practice, study, sleep… it kept her sane. It gave her focus. And it worked… until you.

Until freshman move-in day, when she first saw you and dismissed you as just another pretty face. But then she found herself lingering on your social media, scrolling a little too long, just… staring at certain pictures. When she saw her teammates following you after the breakup with Martinez, her upper lip twitched in unknowing irritation.

She avoided you after that—pretended you didn’t exist—because it was easier than facing how you made her heart hammer against her ribs. The way she wanted you, even if you didn’t notice. But last night, she told herself, fuck it. If you weren’t going to make a move, she would.

A few jokes, a couple of lingering glances, and then—her fingers found their way under your chin, tilting your face toward hers. Your breath hitched. Her grip was firm, yet gentle enough for you to pull away if you dared. Almost as if she was testing you.

So close—just inches away. The heat radiating off her body, the defined collarbones peeking through the neckline of her jersey. Her gaze roamed over your features, as if she were committing them to memory, and when her blue eyes locked onto yours, you couldn’t look away.

The music pulsed around you, shifting, The slower beat stretched the moment, making it feel eternal. You didn’t move—why would you? She was convinced you’d fold like every other girl who caved under her size 10 cleats. But you weren’t going to. You couldn’t.

You were almost certain that if she closed the gap, you’d kiss her back. And that? That would be a problem. Because if she did, you’d pull her closer until the only thing you could smell was her.

Instead, you rolled your eyes and leaned back, your hair spraying across the sofa as you broke the moment.

“You’re such a pain in the ass,” Abby chuckled, her ego slightly bruised as her hand dropped from your chin. She punctuated it with a dramatic lip smack.

“Because I don’t want to fuck you?” you said, taking a slow drag from your joint. “Or because I’m not entertaining you?”

“Shit, both.” She shrugged, mentally slapping herself. She knew she’d come on too strong, and now she worried you might not even be into her type. So she doubled down.

“Especially the first one,” she added, dragging her eyes down your outfit before flicking them back up.

“Gross,” you scoffed, dismissing her further.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Abby huffed, tossing her head back against the couch. A beat of silence passed before she turned to you again.

“What’s your deal, anyway? You a prude? Because I know you aren’t straight.”

“What if I’m just not interested?” you shot back.

Her lips twitched, and she tilted her head as she studied you. “You aren’t?” Her voice was laced with challenge, and something in that tone made your heart thud. You hesitated—silence stretching uncomfortably as your uniform suddenly felt too tight.

Abby hummed and turned her head to the front. “Sure you aren’t,” she murmured, half-expecting you to correct her, half-expecting you to confirm her suspicion. When nothing came, she pressed on.

“So,” she said, her tone infuriatingly calm, “what’s your major? Or are you just here to shake your little pom-poms?”

You furrowed your brows at her comment before realizing you were still in uniform. A laugh burst out as you replied with your major. “And I won’t be shaking anything, thank you.” You added, taking another slow drag.

That got her attention. She tilted her head back for a once-over, arching an eyebrow. Testing your major like it was a word on her tongue, she paused and studied your face. “Nerdy,” she said with a shrug.

“Oh, I’m sorry—would you rather me throw a ball around all day?” you huffed, rolling your eyes.

“Aww, you jealous, sweetheart?” Abby smirked, shifting closer on the couch until she almost faced you head-on, her body angling provocatively.

You shook your head in amusement. “Aww Fuck no, I’m not,” you mocked in a sing-song tone. “Cute thought, though.”

It was Abby’s turn to roll her eyes, yet her smirk never faltered. “You’re a real smartass, you know that?” She leaned back, draping an arm casually over the back of the couch, fingertips grazing your shoulder.

“And you can’t take a hint,” you shot back, eyeing her outfit as you took another drag.

“And you’re full of yourself,” she retorted, eyes flicking to your hand as you passed her the joint. Their brief contact sent an involuntary shiver up your spine.

“Got your attention, though—so that says more about you than me,” you shrugged back.

Abby hummed in acknowledgment, taking a hit as smoke curled from her mouth. Her knee pressed against your thigh as she handed the joint back.

“But if you’re gonna check me out, at least be subtle about it,” she teased, her voice gravelly from the smoke.

“You wanted me to see you so bad, so I’m doing that. You complaining now?” you scoffed.

Abby exhaled sharply, a quiet laugh escaping her. “Holy hell, you’re annoying,” she said, though her gaze lingered on your face and lips.

“Yeah?” You returned, a slow smile spreading. “Good. Maybe you’ll run a play and leave.”

She glanced over at you, then back again. “You wish.” Abby flashed another grin.

The eye-fucking, the lingering tension, the still-aching wound from a previous heartbreak—it all painted her as a bad decision. You knew it, could feel it in the way your chest tightened, so you broke eye contact, pulling back just slightly.

“Why am I entertaining you right now?”

She followed your movement, not letting you retreat fully.“Because you like me,” she quipped, her hand still under your shirt, tracing lazy circles against your skin. “Because I’m entertaining, and I’m the best thing happening at this lame-ass party right now.”

You huffed a laugh. “Like you?” You arched a brow. “You think me letting you be handsy is a sign I’m falling for you?”

Abby chuckled, shrugging as if the thought had only just crossed her mind.

“Maybe, maybe not,” she mused, her fingers creeping higher, spreading over the bare skin of your hip. “But you’re still here, letting me touch on you… so something’s happening.”

You glanced down at her hand, then back up at her face, leaning against the couch.

“Mmn, I guess.”

A slow smirk tugged at her lips, but you rolled your eyes before it could fully settle.

“But I’d be an idiot to let it go further,” you said, it was something close to warning. “I know exactly how you get down.”

Abby’s grin only widened at that. No denial, no weak attempt to prove you wrong. Just that same wicked amusement as her fingers kept tracing idle patterns over your skin.

“Well, you’ve got me all figured out then, don’t you?” she teased, pressing her knee more firmly against your thigh.

“But I bet…” she started, voice dropping an octave, “if I really wanted a taste, you’d still let me have one.”

narrowing your eyes at her. You scoffed, looking away. “Oh please, I’m not that desperate, Anderson.”

She smirked, catching the way your eyes darted from hers, how the color bloomed across your cheeks despite your words.

“Also Betting you’re real easy under all this, huh?”

Your expression dropped instantly. “Excuse me?” Abby barely had time to react before you shoved her hand away.“God, you’re such an asshole.”

Pushing up from the couch, you adjusted your outfit and grabbed your cup, not sparing her another glance as you walked off. Pushing through bodies, The heat that burning under your skin wasn’t temptation anymore—it was irritation.

Abby watched you go, She hadn’t expected you to up and leave like that. A beat passed, her fingers flexing in her lap before she exhaled, dropping the joint into the ashtray.

Then, with a quiet sigh, she got up. Willing her mouth to say the correct words this go around.

It didn’t take long to find you. The kitchen was quieter than the rest of the house, save for the low hum of conversation from people passing through. You stood by the counter, fingers wrapped around your drink, but you hadn’t taken a sip.

Abby hesitated for the first time that night, her usual bravado dimming at the edges. Still, she approached, the smirk from before vanished, replaced with something else—something that almost looked like regret.

“Hey,” she said softly, her tone much gentle. “You alright? I didn’t mean to—”

“Save it, Anderson.” You huffed, waving a dismissive hand, trying to shake off the heat still simmering from her last comment.

Abby exhaled, rubbing a hand over her jaw. “Look, I was just messing around. You know that, right?”

You scoffed, finally looking at her. “Oh, so it’s just a joke when you’re the one running your mouth?”

Her brows raised slightly, sensing the shift. “Come on, don’t be like that.”

“You and your teammates? All the same. It’s fucking embarrassing.” You spat the words like they tasted bad in your mouth.

Abby’s expression darkened. “And what the hell does that mean?”

“It means what I said.” Your low, red-rimmed eyes met hers, colder than before. “You. Williams. Stevens. Martinez. And every other meathead who likes to parade around campus like they own it. Simple-minded—”

“Hold up.” She stepped into the small space. “You don’t know me, so don’t you dare lump me in with the rest of them.”

She scoffed, her next words hitting hard. “And you call me simple-minded? Look at you—walking around with your prissy attitude, acting like you’re better than everyone just because Martinez screwed you over.”

Your fingers tightened around your drink but Abby didn’t stop there. “It’s not my fault you dated the biggest red flag on campus. Maybe you like getting played.”

The second it left her mouth, regret twisted in her gut. Your eyes widened—briefly, but enough for her to see the impact. The sharp inhale, the tension in your jaw, the way your grip tightened. Abby braced herself, half-expecting a slap, but instead, you exhaled sharply, nostrils flaring, a cruel dig following.

“Wow. Funny coming from the girl who just figured out she likes pussy last year and acts like she invented the game.”

So lost in the heat of the argument, neither of you noticed the necks turning, the whispers starting to spread.

“Yeah. Congrats. You finally stopped fumbling your way through your sexuality just to become a fuckboy in a passed-around jersey, cycling through girls because you’re too scared to actually feel something.”

Abby’s eyes narrowed, her jaw clenching. “You think that’s funny?” she shot back. “You’re one to talk. You’re over here holding a grudge like it’s a fucking trophy. Maybe I’ve figured things out better than you, huh? At least I didn’t let one bad breakup ruin my life.”

She opened her mouth to backtrack, to fix what she just broke, but the look in your eyes told her it was already too late.

The murmur of your voice was beginning to cut through the music, unmistakable. Dina peeled herself away from the lanky body pressed against hers, tucked away in an empty bedroom upstairs.

She knew if you found out she was tangled up with Ellie—again—you’d launch into the “you deserve better” speech. She could already see the way you’d cross your arms, the unimpressed face. Tonight she just wanted to be selfish. Indulge. Regret it later.

“Shit,” she muttered under her breath, sitting up.

The Auburn haired girl, lazily draped over her, raised an eyebrow. “Relax, it’s probably nothing.” Her voice was almost a wine from the loss of contact.

Dina, on the other hand, was already untangling herself, listening harder. “It doesn’t sound like nothing,” she shot back, reaching for her phone off the nightstand.

Ellie finally shifted, more alert now. “Wait—hold on, is that __?”

Dina’s stomach dropped at the sound of your name.

Her feet moved faster than lightning, her mind racing through every possible scenario as she shoved open the door. She just prayed you weren’t in another physical fight. The last one had been bad enough—some girl “coming to you as a woman” when in reality, it was just another cruel reminder that everyone knew about your ex’s infidelity before you did.

“Dina—seriously?” Ellie groaned, pulling her flannel back on and jogging after her.

“Don’t stand so close to me.” Dina shot her a look over her shoulder.

Ellie snorted. “That’s what you’re worried about right now?”

Dina didn’t have time for this. The music was getting louder, the voices sharper. The second she hit the top of the stairs, she spotted the crowd forming in the kitchen. Dina let go of Ellie’s hand without thinking, her pulse spiking.

“What the hell?”

She caught sight of you just as the sea of bodies parted. Her jet-black ponytail whipped over her shoulder, posture wound tight. Across from you stood Abby Anderson—just as tense, just as ready.

Dina’s stomach twisted.

“Oh, shit—” someone in the crowd muttered.

“Damn, they’re really about to throw down in the kitchen?”

“Nah, she brought up Martinez—this is getting personal.”

“She just called her a passed-around jersey? That’s crazy.”

The whispers started almost immediately, people soaking up the drama like it was the halftime show of a championship game.You barely spared them a glance. Instead, your eyes locked onto Dina—and Ellie, standing just behind her, arms crossed.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Ellie muttered making a beeline toward Abby.

Dina, however, reached you first. “Hey—what the hell happened?” she asked, searching your face for answers.

Ellie scoffed, flipping off the nearest group of nosy onlookers. “Mind your business.”

You didn’t answer Dina right away. Instead, you shoved past the crowd, heat radiating off you in waves. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

The words tasted bitter on your tongue as you pulled out a compact mirror. Your reflection wasn’t great—mascara smudged beneath your eyes, making you look like a pissed-off raccoon.

“Can we go now?” you asked, not really asking.

Dina hesitated. “Yeah—uh—” She glanced over at Ellie and Abby, then back at you. “No—yeah, let’s go.”

She draped an arm over your shoulders, steering you away from the wreckage. As the three of you pushed through the crowded halls, a familiar laugh caught your ears, making your throat run dry.

You didn’t turn around. You couldn’t. You just wanted to be home, in bed, buried under your sheets until the semester ended.

The second you slid into the passenger seat of Dina’s car, she hesitated again.

“…You sure you’re—”

“Dee. I’m fine. Okay?” you sighed, sinking deeper into the seat. “Just—just take us home.”

Dina exhaled, giving a small nod. She turned up the radio, filling the silence with static as she pulled out of the makeshift parking lot.

Meanwhile..

Abby was still standing in the kitchen, arms crossed, jaw clenched. She refused to leave. If she walked out now, everyone would think she got chewed out by some hothead random.

“Abby, you good?” Ellie’s voice cut in, bringing Abby back to reality.

Steven’s, another teammate, leaned against the counter beside her. “That was… something,” tilting her beer. “Not even five minutes into the party and you’re already beefing with someone?”

Abby leaned back against the fridge, exhaustion creeping in. “She started it,” she muttered, running a hand down her face.

“Yeah, well, she’s been snappy ever since—” Steven’s gaze flickered toward the other side of the room.

Abby followed the line of sight. There she was. Martinez. Already wrapped up with another girl like she didn’t even care.

Ellie exhaled through her nose. “Yeah. Dina told me.”

Abby looked over at her. “Told you what? That you and her are back on?”

Ellie rolled her eyes, shifting her weight. “This is not about me.”

Stevens chuckled. “Well, the night’s still young. You should both just forget about the whole thing. No big deal.”

It should’ve been that easy. But weren’t first impressions everything?

Because in Abby’s mind, she had just made one hell of a first one.

Even now, as Abby retold the story, a stress ball bounced between her hands. Across the room, Nora caught it, her head full of curls bobbing as she processed the information.

“Wait, go back—you said what?”

Abby groaned. “I know, okay? Look, I was high, and I just…”

“Was being a dick,” Nora finished.

“Yeah.”

Nora sighed, barely hiding her amusement behind her hand. “Abs, you are genuinely an idiot.”

Abby threw the stress ball across the couch. “Whoa. Last time I come to you for advice.” She slumped further into the cushions, staring at the ceiling. What a mess.

“Well, I won’t disagree—first impression? F-minus, for sure.”

Abby groaned again. But then, Nora shrugged, something more thoughtful crossing her face.

“Maybe second chances can outweigh the first ones.”

Abby scoffed. “Tell that to her.”

And even as she said it, she felt the weight of last night pressing down on her all over again.

This was gonna be a long semester.

Next chapter >

[bellaxgiornata]

Not Like Before Chapter Five

Pairing: Jax Teller x fem!Reader Word Count: 4.3k [Series Masterlist] [Jax Fic Masterlist]

Warnings/tags: 18+; nurse!Reader, canon-divergence (no Abel or Thomas), fluff, angst, friends to lovers, eventual smut, girl dad Jax

a/n: All I'm going to say is...I hope you like this update. Feedback is always appreciated, and dividers are by the lovely @secretlysamcro.

series tag list: @kmc1989 @secretlysamcro @chloe-skywalker @cindsvibes @aussiefangirl95 @sjester42-blog @danzer8705 @uknowmesstuff @mmarysha @shiggynuggiez @stevie75 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @kaydallas21  @orymgraves @unholycheesesnack @livewaspsblog @leather-n-velvet @staley83 @moongirlgodness @shelbyteller @li22ie2017 @ivegotparticulartaste @kjmonster111 @anonymouse1807 @the-jer-bear @rosey1981 @fallout-girl219 @arthurstinmug @simonsbluee

Absently chewing your thumbnail with both of your elbows resting along the surface of the small cement table you were seated at, you leaned over the book laying open in front of you. Completely absorbed in the story, the noise of the cars in the hospital parking lot and the few people chatting at nearby tables drifted right past you, your mind not even registering the usual late afternoon background noise. 

During your meal breaks at St. Thomas, you often found yourself sitting outside at the hospital’s small outdoor cafeteria enjoying a reprieve from the commotion and chaos inside. Most of the time you sat here eating with a book open beside you, attempting to mentally escape from the stress of your work day, which was what you'd been trying to do now. Especially after how your morning had started–you'd dealt with a new patient that hadn’t been particularly friendly. The swastika tattooed on his chest didn’t help your opinion of him, either. He’d had you longing for patients like Chibs, a man who looked dangerous but was actually enjoyable company, as opposed to the rude, racist prick completely lying about the knife wound he'd sustained to his forearm.

Turning the page of your book, still entirely engrossed in the story, your eyes ran over the lines of text as you continued to chew your nail. Considering most of the time you spent your days reading picture books to Emilia, you didn't often have time to read something like this that actually held your interest. The books you usually spent your time reading were always about princesses, or controlling your emotions, or those absolutely mind-numbing books on motorcycle and car parts that Em always picked out from the library back in Fresno and asked you to read. Those books always left you so damn confused since you didn’t understand a single thing about motorcycles or cars. But right now on your lunch break from work, you were reading something you’d actually gotten to choose for yourself. 

And you planned to enjoy your free time–until it was unexpectedly interrupted.

“Thought I saw you out here, darlin’.”

The sudden deep voice coming from beside your table instantly pulled you straight out of the story. Your head darted up from the book in front of you, a surprised gasp slipping out between  your lips. But your surprise only grew when your eyes landed on Jax. He was lowering himself down onto the seat on the other side of the table, a confident grin spread over his face as if he thought he somehow belonged in that empty seat across from you. 

Brows drawing tight together in confusion along your forehead, you glanced around the outside cafeteria, scanning the area and nearby tables. You expected to see the usual entourage of leather-clad Sons that he generally traveled with, but there weren’t any present. Completely caught off guard, your attention shifted back to Jax as he crossed his arms over his chest, still grinning at you.

“What’re you reading?” he asked, gesturing his chin towards the open book on the table. “Romance bullshit?”

With a slight shake of your head at the question, you took a second to recover from your shock. Jax unexpectedly dropping in for a visit during your lunch break had not been on your list of things you’d anticipated happening today. And that confident grin on his face as stared across the table at you only had you feeling even more thrown off. 

“Uh, no,” you answered, steadily recovering from the surprise of him settling down at your table. “Not romance bullshit.”

He hummed in response, the noise vibrating in the back of his throat one of obvious disbelief. You grabbed the slip of paper you often used as a bookmark from off the table beside you, placing it inside of the book. Slowly closing it, you caught the way Jax leaned over just a bit, scanning the title and the picture on the cover of it curiously. That little grin slipped off of his lips before his blonde brows furrowed together. He glanced up at you a moment later, a ringed finger pointing down at the book as he held your gaze.

“Gonna be honest, that looks dark as shit, sweetheart,” he stated.

Biting your lip, you fought down the laugh at the look on his face and the tone of his voice. He really had been expecting you to be sitting out here reading some girly romance novel, as if he assumed that's all women read.

“I told you,” you said, setting your book off to the side to focus on him. “I wasn’t reading romance bullshit. It’s a psychological thriller.”

Jax pulled a face at your explanation, his head tilting to the side. “Why the fuck would you wanna read that?” 

“Because it’s interesting and I like the suspense,” you replied simply, a small smile slipping onto your lips. “Sometimes it’s fun to get a little scared.”

From across the table, one of his brows slowly rose up onto his forehead as the corner of his lips curled up into a smirk. A flash of want hit you hard and fast at the way he began eyeing you. There was no mistaking the obvious look of interest in his gaze, the one which had you remembering how good he had sounded every time he'd came inside of you that night five years ago, that deep voice of his groaning filth into your bedroom.

Except you could not have that with him. You shouldn't have even been thinking about that. He was Emilia’s father and that was what you needed to focus on, not how skilled his mouth had been and how pleasantly sore and satisfied his cock had you aching all the next day after he'd relentlessly buried it inside of you over and over.

But then you realized something as you sat there across from him, that cocky little smirk still on his face like he was remembering that same night right now, too. You had him here alone with you right now. No Sons, no Emilia. While you only had a few minutes left of your break, you had a feeling now might be the best and only time for you to finally tell Jax what you’d been needing to tell him for this past week–the news that had been steadily eating away at you for not having shared it since you’d found him again. Another opportunity to talk to him hadn’t presented itself in that time since you’d first run into him here, and you didn’t know when another would again. This quite possibly was the best moment to break the news–even if you’d have preferred a more private setting.

But that realization had your stomach knotting up instantly. Because how were you supposed to bring this up with him? How were you supposed to direct the conversation towards telling him that he had a daughter? You had no idea how to navigate this at all despite how much you’d been trying to prepare for it for days now. You desperately wished you could run back into the hospital and get back to work instead of facing this situation head on. But you had to tell him.

“So you just…saw me out here and thought you’d come say hi, is that it?” you asked.

Almost immediately you internally cringed at the question. Couldn’t you have found a smoother way to ask why he’d come to chat with you? You were definitely out of practice with talking to guys after having been a single mother for so long. But Jax didn’t seem bothered by the question, his expression briefly changing to something that felt a little less like he was mentally undressing you now. At least that marginally eased your nerves for what you needed to discuss with him, it would be easier to look him in the eye if he wasn't giving you that look anymore.

“Yeah,” he answered slowly. “Had some club shit to deal with out here. Saw you sitting outside by yourself and figured I’d come check in with you. See how you’re settling into Charming. You doin’ alright here?”

“Oh,” you said, taken by surprise once again. Had he really come over here to see how you were adjusting to the small town? “I, uh, yeah. It's been good here, I guess. A lot smaller than where I was before, but the hospital is a lot less stressful than my previous one, so there’s that.”

Jax nodded, his expression hard to read as he remained sitting there with his arms crossed over his chest. Tongue nervously darting out between your lips, you sat across from him trying to figure out how to just get everything off of your chest and out in the open between you both. But that slow smirk drawing up one corner of his lips again and that cocky confidence he had about himself suddenly threw you once more.

“I’ll be honest, darlin’,” Jax began, that devilishly handsome smirk still on his lips. “I didn’t really come here to just ask that. I actually came over here to get your number.”

Well, that was going to make this awkward.

“You…did?” you asked hesitantly. 

“Was hoping maybe we could get together sometime,” he continued with a slight shrug. “You know, talk when you’re not stuck at work for once. Maybe I could take you out or somethin’?”

Sitting there dumbfounded, your mouth partially sat agape at the suggestion. He’d come over here to get your number and apparently ask you on a date–something you assumed he didn't generally do judging by the faint tinge of uncertainty in the way he was silently watching you. Yet you were sitting here wondering how to tell him that he’d knocked you up five years ago and that he had a four year old daughter running around Charming.  

This was certainly about to get uncomfortable.

“You seem surprised, sweetheart,” Jax said slowly, studying your expression. “That not something you'd be interested in? I remember you said you weren't seeing anyone the other day. That not entirely true?”

Mouth opening and closing, you were trying to figure out how the hell to proceed from here. With all the mental preparation for this conversation you’d been doing for days, you had not anticipated this to happen. If you didn't have Emilia, your curiosity to get to know him better would've immediately had you telling him yes before giving him your number. But you did have Emilia to consider, and he probably wouldn't want you like that when he realized you came with an entire family and were not just some girl to have fun with like he had done five years ago. You figured he wouldn't be thinking about dates in a minute.

“I'm not with anyone, no,” you told him, shifting in your seat awkwardly. “I just…”

“You just what?” he pressed, a frustrated edge slipping into his words. Uncrossing his arms, Jax leaned forward and rested his elbows on the little cement table, his eyes narrowing at you. “I don't meet your standards or somethin’? Cause of the club?”

“What?” you asked. 

Where had that come from? And why did he sound genuinely upset about your hesitation?

He frowned back at you, all traces of the playful and cocky demeanor gone. Something like hurt flickered behind his blue eyes and you felt guilt creeping into you. He needed to understand that's not what you were saying at all, but he was continuing before you could even figure out how to respond.

“No, I get it,” he continued, his frustration rising as bitterness coated his tongue. “You come move out to Charming and hear about my club, probably listen to all the bullshit people say around town about it and me, yeah? Now you think I'm not good enough for anythin’ else. Just that one night, huh?” He nodded his head slowly, his eyes still narrowed back at you with that hurt hiding behind the frustration in his eyes. “Thought you were better than that. I thought–”

“I have a daughter,” you blurted.

It took him a second to process what you'd said when you’d abruptly cut him off. Jax sat there across from you at the table with his lips still partially parted from how you'd interrupted him. The frustration on his face very slowly morphed into confusion instead as he sat there staring at you, the sound of the birds outside and a few cars pulling into the parking lot filling the sudden silence. It felt like minutes had passed before he closed his mouth, a frown pulling at his lips now.

The longer he sat there staring at you, the louder the sound of your own racing heart grew in your ears. You definitely had not prepared yourself enough for this conversation, but it was too late to back out now. You’d already blurted it out, all you could do now was push forward and tell him the full truth.

“You what?” he finally asked. His head tilted to the side as if that would help him to somehow understand better what you’d just blurted out. “You got a kid?”

This wasn't how you wanted to bring the news up with him in all the times you’d been preparing this little speech. You’d wanted to lead him into it gently, not slam him over the head with it. But you had never expected Jax to ask you on a date, and you certainly hadn't expected his hurt reaction to you not immediately and eagerly agreeing to go on one with him. You were feeling a little thrown off yourself.

“I have a daughter,” you repeated carefully, one hand grabbing your pen from where it sat on the table beside the book you’d been reading. Nervously, you began to fidget with it, twisting it in your fingers as you forced yourself to continue to get the next words out. “That night five years ago, we uh…we didn't use anything, if you remember. Because I was on birth control.”

Pausing, you saw the way his frown had only deepened at the mention of that night right after mentioning that you have a daughter. From the look on his face and the way his hands had shifted to grip the edge of the table, you had a feeling he knew where this conversation might be heading now. 

“Thing is…I had been under a lot of stress back then,” you began awkwardly, continuing to explain as the words just poured out of you. “From my new job at the hospital, the one I’d mentioned to you back then. They had me working all kinds of weird hours and long shifts. Which was why I'd gone out that night and been drinking and…spent the rest of it with you.” Clearing your throat, you tried to ignore the nerves coursing through your veins, your fingers still twisting the pen around them. “I'd been drinking that night and forgot that I had been pretty damn off schedule on taking my pills for a few weeks before that night. So I…”

With the way he was staring at you across the table, looking at you like he was hanging on every damn word coming out of your mouth as if they were about to break him, you found yourself struggling to continue. You remembered that exact feeling all those years ago sitting alone on your bathroom floor surrounded by positive pregnancy tests. Except you'd had five years to accept the news now, to build a life around the child you hadn't planned but had become your everything. Jax was only just now about to learn about her. 

“I got pregnant,” you finished softly. “That night.”

A muscle feathered in his cheek a few times at your words before he grew completely still across from you. Over the past few days, you'd imagined multiple scenarios about how to break the news to him and how he might react to it. But even imagining all the different possibilities hadn't prepared you for how to respond to them in real life, especially not with that blank look on his face as he just stared at you.

“I…wanted to tell you back then,” you carefully confessed, not sure if he wanted you to keep speaking or to be quiet and let him process what you'd just dropped on him. But when he didn't stop you, you continued. “I didn't have a number for you, though. Or a name. Or a town, or any way to contact you. I couldn't exactly remember the name of your club because, well, I'd been drinking and it wasn't exactly my focus that night.”

His hands tightened on the table, the tendons visible in his forearms at his grip. Despite how dry your mouth felt, you kept on talking, everything just falling out of you after years of holding it back.

“I uh, I considered all my options back then,” you told him. “But I decided to keep the pregnancy in the end. Figured I'd make it work somehow–which I have. She's a little over four years old now.”

Jax still hadn't said a word, his silence only adding to your increasing anxiety. And the less he said, the more you did.

“I didn't move here on purpose or anything,” you added awkwardly, twirling the pen a little faster between your fingers. “I had no idea you lived in Charming. Seeing you the other day was as much of a shock to me as it was to you. I honestly never thought I would find you again to be able to tell you any of this. And I didn't exactly know how to tell you, either. Which is why it took me a few days. I mean I–I didn’t know if you’d even want to know, but I felt like I couldn’t just not tell you.”

Jax swallowed hard, his throat visibly bobbing. His eyes very gradually closed shut, his jaw clenching as he processed what you’d just dropped on him. Biting down hard on your bottom lip, you forced yourself to stop spewing more words at him. It was obvious that he was quickly becoming overwhelmed. 

Another long, drawn out silence heavily fell between you both. You sat there chewing your bottom lip and trying to keep quiet before a sharp exhale finally escaped Jax, his nostrils flaring. He swallowed hard again before he opened his eyes, focusing back on you. Teeth still clamped down on your lip, you waited for him to finally say something–anything.

“You're saying the kid is mine?” he asked. 

“She's your daughter,” you assured him with a nod. “Yes. There's literally no one else that could've been her father, I hadn't been with anyone else during that time besides you. And I think I’d made it pretty clear that night that I didn’t do one night things back then.” A small, nervous smile pulled at your lips before you continued. “But I'm open to a paternity test if that's…something you'd want. I get it, a woman showing up five years later claiming a kid is yours…it seems like bullshit.”

Jax leaned forward, his hands releasing the table from his grip before his elbows rested on top of it again. One of his hands scrubbed down his face as his focus shifted to the patio beneath the table like he couldn’t look at you. You knew you'd need to get back into St. Thomas and finish your shift soon, but you couldn't just abruptly get up and walk away right after telling him all of this.

“I don't know what the hell I want,” he muttered. “Didn't exactly expect all this when I came over here.”

“I figured as much,” you agreed softly. “I wish there’d have been a better way to break the news, but I didn’t want to keep this from you. She’s yours, too. I figured you deserve to know she exists.”

Jax cursed quietly under his breath before he buried his face in both of his hands. His fingers tugged at the roots of his hair, the blonde strands quickly becoming mussed under his agitation, some pieces steadily falling out of place. Half of you felt tempted to get up and walk over to him, wanting to wrap him in a hug and offer him the comfort you sincerely wished someone had given you that day you’d pissed on all of those pregnancy tests because you knew what he was feeling–like he'd lost his footing now that you had just flipped his world upside down. But you knew better than to get up and touch him.

“For the record,” you began cautiously as his face remained buried in his hands, “I’m not looking for anything from you. I’ve spent all this time raising her on my own, we’re doing just fine. I didn’t tell you this because I expected child support or something.”

Gradually, he raised his head from his palms. He stared back at you through narrowed eyes, as if he wasn’t sure whether he believed you or not.

“I’m completely serious,” you told him. “I just thought that…maybe you might want to know her. When you’re ready. Or…if you’re ever ready. That’s all.”

“Darlin’,” he began, voice tight, “I don’t even know how the fuck I feel right now hearing this.”

“Believe me, I get it,” you replied, offering him another small smile. 

Finally ceasing your fidgeting with the pen in your hands, you looked down at it. Chewing the inside of your cheek, you sat in thought for a moment as Jax remained quiet on the opposite side of the table, probably still trying to come to terms with what you’d told him.

“How about this,” you offered, looking back up at him. “I’ll give you my number before I head back into work. You can take whatever time you need to think about what you might want to do, but you can reach out to me whenever.” You shrugged sheepishly, that small smile still on your lips. “If you want to meet up and talk more about everything, then you have a way to reach out. And if you don’t, well…”

Your voice trailed off as what you didn’t say was left hanging in the air. If you never heard from him, then clearly he wasn’t interested in being in Emilia’s life. It meant he wouldn’t want to know his own daughter. Which would greatly disappoint you, but you also couldn’t entirely fault him for that. You didn’t really know the guy, and he didn’t look too thrilled at the fact that he’d just learned he was a father.

“Yeah,” he agreed with a single nod. “Yeah, alright. I think that’s–that’s good.”

There it was, that awkwardness you knew would ruin the moment after he’d sat down and tried to ask you on a date. Any and all interest in you like that had completely vanished from him now. Trying to ignore the way that made you feel, you searched around on the table for something to write your number on as you clicked open the pen in your hand. 

After nervously fumbling around the table for a bit, Jax’s forearm slid into your view and you stopped. Eyes sliding back up to meet his, you saw him gesture his head towards his arm.

“Left my phone on my bike,” he explained. “Just write it on my arm. It’s fine.”

Your gaze dropped back down to his bare forearm–the one without his tattoo. Hesitating for a beat, you just stared at the muscle and skin beneath the light blonde hairs. That arm had once been wrapped around you, holding you so gently to himself in your bed a long time ago. Now it probably never would again.

“Yeah, alright,” you replied.

Leaning a little forward along the table, you grabbed onto his wrist with your free hand and focused solely on what you were doing. Writing carefully and clearly, you jotted your cell phone number in black ink across the inside of his forearm–small enough to not be too noticeable, but large enough for him to read. Once you were finished, you quickly released his wrist and sat back in your seat, clicking your pen back off. 

Jax stared at the numbers you’d written on his skin, his face completely void of emotion. Still feeling your heart pounding in your throat, you began to gather up your things from the table, figuring he looked like he wanted to be left to his thoughts. 

“I hate to do this, but I need to get back to my shift,” you told him, standing up from the table.

He nodded quietly, his eyes still downcast and focused on his arm. Standing beside the table for a moment, you cradled your book to your chest with one arm while your other hand began nervously fidgeting with your pen again. 

“Well, uh, you have my number, so…maybe I’ll hear from you.”

“Yeah,” Jax replied, gaze still averted.

Aware this wasn’t going anywhere else, your shoulders dropped before you turned and headed across the small outdoor dining area back towards the hospital. A strange, uneasy feeling settled in your chest at how closed off he’d become while he’d sat there after you’d mentioned your daughter, not entirely sure what to make of his reaction. But you’d done everything you could on your part. He knew about her now. The rest was completely up to him.

[bettystonewell]

TO YOU I BELONG: CHAPTER 3

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Summary: Dean isn't looking for a mate, and the last place he expects to meet his soulmate is while on a case. Fate ain't real. He still has free will, and saving you is just another part of the job. Except, monsters aren't the only things you need saving from... 18+ only MDNI

Chapter Word Count: 5k words

Chapter Warnings: canon typical violence, language, referenced physical abuse, referenced sexual assault, injuries to reader

A/N: The first two chapters I uploaded were partially rewritten from the original version I have elsewhere, but it’s not feasible for me to keep doing that, especially if I’m ever going to write new stuff; so from now on I’ll be uploading this story as is. Chapters 3 to 14 predate both, Another Notch On His Belt and Snickerdoodles & Special Sauce While I’d do some things differently, they’re all part of the journey. Enjoy! ✌️❤️

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

“Dick?” Sam gave a half-assed chuckle.

Dean’s eyes lit up mischievously. “Her mate.”

Oh, the mother fucking irony. He wasn’t just a dick, his name was Dick. Or Richard, to be more concise. Dean had passed over that insignificant detail and Ritchie, as you’d called him, to go with what he found to be the most fitting of the three.

While Ritchie suggested a plain loser, Richard sounded like a pompous jackass, which Dean figured didn’t fall far from the tree. But Dick? Dick narrated a scumbag he could work with.

He remembered Dick Roman and his crass grin all too well, and with his face in mind, Dean had run through all the satisfying things he wanted to do to your mate since the moment he’d found you in the park. Whatever manifested, or not, was for later Dean’s enjoyment, but everything his genius had concocted so far suited Dick to a tee.

Sammy, however, saw the bigger picture.

A tsk left his mouth. Followed by an eye roll and the shaking of his mop-hair through a downward glance. It was a wonder he could do both at the same time. “Don’t you think you should be worrying about her, not her ex?”

Dean’s head flicked over his shoulder to the door on the other side of the car park, where he presumed you were still fast asleep. The heel of his left boot even shifted backwards a fraction. All he had to do was fling his other leg towards the room, and your scent and stimulating curves would soon surround him again.

Was it possible for a heart to skip a beat? Because that action, with that very organ popping out of someone like Scooby Doo’s chest, sure described the way Dean felt at the mention of Dick’s finality in your life.

“I’m really getting soft,” he muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Dean ran his fingers through his hair. “She’s still sleeping. With any luck, I’ll be back before she wakes up.”

“Dean.”

“Don’t Dean me.”

Sam could argue, meddle, and question all he wanted. Dean wouldn’t sway from his plans, no matter how stupid his method was. “I ain’t letting him get away with it.”

“I’m not saying you should. Just take a minute to calm down and focus on her, not him.”

“What part of he raped her, don’t you understand?” He sighed and drew his thumb and forefinger across his eyes. His voice, while not the loudest he’d ever produced, had been enough to make even Dean anxious.

He cared little about anyone else in the vicinity, but as with every other motel they frequented, the walls were paper thin, and the door you were behind was a mere thirty yards away. Yes. His guilt fueled conscience had him going stir crazy.

Him needing to be long gone before you woke up wasn’t for your benefit. It was for his own sanity. Sam’s too.

“I understand you want revenge. But she still went back to him yesterday.”

“Because I let—”

“You didn’t do anything!” Sam snapped, then shook his head. “They’re bonded. Chances are she loves him. That won’t change overnight.”

“I know that.” Of course he did. Dean wasn’t that unattuned with the world around him, as people always suggested. He got social cues and had feelings like any other guy. He simply chose not to wear his deepest ones on his sleeve out of survival.

Everyone else could still suck it. Sam could too.

“So why are you so set on doing this right now? Do you really wanna risk pushing her away by beating up the alpha she cares about?”

“It ain’t about him or me.”

“Yeah.” Sam scoffed. “Like I said, revenge.”

“No. Alright? Just, no.” Dean’s arm swooped through the air, as if shoving Sam’s statement off an imaginary table.

This wasn’t about Dean seeking retribution, although he’d never deny there wasn’t a small piece of him that found the concept enticing.

Okay, a large slice.

He had to find some fun in his shitty existence, especially after being careful for so long.

Ever since Sam had lost Jess, they both had been. Aware there were plenty of other fuckers out there besides the likes of yellow eyes. Crowley, for starters, even Cas and the other angels, Roman, the Steins, Chuck. And not wanting to risk history repeating itself, they turned to suppressants.

Though it took a single instance of him going feral and a stern warning from Bobby and his own shotgun pointed at his extremities, for Dean to see sense and allow his rut to occur once a year.

“One cycle with one of them fake dolls ain’t gonna kill ya, idjit,” he had said. And while that was a fond memory of Dean’s now, it had scared the crap out of him.

So, “If I let him walk, she’s a target. With my claim or not,” he said.

Sam should’ve known that, but his eyes grew wide and a grin made them lift even higher. “Are you going to?”

“I just met her!” And that was still the scariest thing in all this.

He and you were soulmates. Fated to be. Chosen for each other by who even knew? Someone who didn’t know you and expected you both to do what? Commit to each other at the drop of a hat?

Dean couldn’t bring himself to think, let alone say the L word. He’d avoided it on purpose when Sam had mentioned you loving Dick, and that was plain dumb. It was four fucking letters. He wasn’t a child, though he had done some crazy, adultly stigmatised shit on your behalf.

Taking you back to the motel as he had and cleaning your wounds. Sleeping close by and letting you take his jacket to nest with. Ordinarily, these things were tame, but law enforcement would say otherwise if Dick decided to press charges against him even before he did what he planned to do.

It was way too much, not because of the illicit nature, but because it was too soon. Too easy to fall. Too easy to be trapped into something more, and yet, he’d been thriving on every second of it so far.

As usual, Sam knew it, too.

“You’re thinking about it,” he said. “You should ask her to come with us.”

But he didn’t respond with how Sam wanted him to. “Keep an eye on her, would ya?” He patted him on the shoulder, once to steady himself, the second to reassure. “Call me if anything happens.” And with that, he strode ‘round to Baby’s driver’s side and got in. It was now or never.

When he reached your street, Dean parked Baby around the corner. Close enough for a quick exit, but further away from your building to avoid arousing suspicions. Not that there was anyone around to question him or his motives.

Just as it had been during the night, the neighbourhood was quiet and restful. Still early enough on a Sunday for most people to be in bed.

Not him, of course. But regular people. Civilians.

Someone like you, included in his picture of suburbia and the apple pie life he’d always admired from a safe distance. It was a shame that the bubble had burst when he found you in the park.

It looked different in the daylight hours as he moved towards the entrance. All that he’d witnessed tainted the luscious leaves, turning the hues dim. It didn’t help that the clouds overhead were already bleak with grey.

They made the white rendered walls of your apartment block appear worse than his original critique of the place. Even though this was your home, it was a home you shared with Dick. A place Dean would find no comfort in.

He entered the building and made quick work of the steps, bounding up them two at a time, guided by his nose. And the letterbox he’d read at the bottom that had your surname on it.

As he honed in on your front door, his ears perked for any movement besides his own, but all was clear, and he was able to thump on the wood without interruption.

Once.

Twice.

But by the third time, his patience had worn thin, and he resorted to his usual methods.

He wrapped his fingers around the ivory grip of his 1911 and drew it out of his waistband, cocking it in readiness. The cool metal, the perfect fit as always, satisfied his hand and the hunter within.

Was the gun overkill? Eh. That was up to interpretation. Just as he still knew little about you, he knew less about Dick, besides the name and what he had done. The weapon was a precaution. A scare tactic at best.

And with that in mind, the sole of his boot raised and collided with the door of the small apartment, sounding a loud crunch as the wood gave way. It made his bow leg twang from the force, but damn, was the rush of adrenaline worth it.

Fuck! He was pumped.

Ready for a fight or a match of words, though the former was far more enticing. Revenge would be sweet, no matter what Sam said. Which was such a shame because his grand entrance hadn’t paid off.

Dick was nowhere in sight, and Dean begrudgingly returned his firearm to its usual resting place. The fucker must’ve been out looking for you.

As Dean stepped over the threshold and past the now broken door, your familiar scent hit his nostrils. That, and the musk he’d caught in your hair. It was the smell you’d find labelled pine or forest in a gas station’s air freshener selection. Pungent, overpowering and something he’d never allow Baby to be exposed to, let alone his own skin, anymore.

Of course, anything that belonged to Dick was repulsive. The recliner Dean stared at had to be his. What with the high back, built-in cup holders that were the perfect size for a cold one or a Dean-sized arm holding a scotch, and a remote in the other hand.

The chair would be awesome in the bunker. Maybe he could… no. No, no. He’d get himself a new one. Along with the flat screen, comfortable-looking three-seater sofa, and the fluffy blanket that had to be yours.

His feet carried him over to the item and brought it to his nose. It was yours alright. The touch of cinnamon he’d savoured during the night had soaked into the colourful fibres and worn thread, and he could just picture you curled under it, cosy and warm. You would look even better with the one he’d buy you, on his bed, nesting, with his pup safe inside your belly.

God, he was being delusional. Conceited too. You nesting on his bed? His pup? The second you discovered the true extent of his meaningless existence, you would change whatever mind you had about him. As you should.

This window into your personality he wandered through reminded him of what he knew, though, and your world was far different from his. Soulmate or no, it would be selfish of him to ask you to give this lifestyle up to be in his where monsters and gore were a constant.

As for pups. Little versions of him mixed with you? The idea took over his body with warm fuzzies, but it was a pipe dream fueled by his instinct to mate and breed.

He knew that.

‘What the hell, man? You don’t even want a family.’ Not like that, anyway.

Fuck no. He’d already dipped his toe in that pool and found it too cold. Being a dad wasn’t for him. Not with the target on his back. And this infinite loop of yearning, then backtracking? It certainly wasn’t, either.

Was this what they meant by a mid-life crisis?

Or maybe it was Dick’s pheromones making him go awol? With notes that belonged in a can of axe body spray Dean had used as a teen before he presented.

His snort was comical.

At least he could put whatever this was to good use. That and the rest of his self worth and a smidgen of hate. They were the perfect recipe for a strong uppercut and Dean was lucky Dick didn’t keep him waiting long.

The unmistakable jangle of keys looking for their lock was the first thing that alerted Dean to his presence.

“Who’re you?” was the second.

Dean spun around on his heels, oozing confidence with his cocksure grin. He didn’t feel the slightest bit intimidated as Dick puffed his chest out. Nor when his gaze travelled the length of his body, top to toe. And rather than answering the other alpha before him, he thought it best to show him how badly he’d fucked up.

Dean’s language was action, after all, and he was finally about to have some fun.

His right hand moved to hover behind his back as the other’s fingers locked around the edging of his shirt collar, pulling it down in slow motion for added effect. He was an expert in gaining attention, even if it was purposeful to piss someone off.

The haughty laugh Dick produced was better than any reaction he could’ve hoped for, and it urged him on.

“Somethin’ funny?” Dean said.

“Guess I was looking in the wrong places. She swore you didn’t want her.” Dick stepped forward, slinking further into the room, unaware of what Dean could achieve.

Mistake number one.

On the outside, Dean was relaxed, too. Both arms returned to his side, keeping his distance with his front positioned towards the other alpha.

Inside, Dick’s every movement was under his scrutiny. He wanted him to fuck up. To say or do something stupid. That way, Dean had probable cause. It would make whatever he ended up dishing out sit better on his conscience if he heard Dick admit it himself.

So Dean poked the bear. Outright asking him, “Did she say that while you were raping her?”

“I marked her as mine.”

Those words were Dick’s second mistake. He’d just given Dean the chopping block.

“And I suppose she didn’t ask you to stop when you hit her, huh? When you tried to scratch my initials out of her skin?” Dean’s voice remained void of all emotion, even as the anger bubbled in his gut. If he held a mirror to his soul, Dick’s face would have been its reflection.

“The little slut is obviously yours now. What do you want?”

Other than using your name, there was nothing Dick could’ve called you that wouldn’t have resulted in him handing over the axe and a third strike.

“I came here to give you a taste of your own medicine. But I don’t swing that way,” Dean said as he withdrew his gun and held it in the air. “Then I thought I’d use this.”

Dick’s whole body flinched. A Mexican wave of nerves twitching all over if you had watched closely, as Dean, of course, had. “You’re fucking crazy!”

Dean was still casual, his smirk devilish. “Oh buddy, you’ve got no idea. If we’d have met last night, well, let’s just say you wouldn’t be here.”

It was all talk. Dean would never go that extreme, not now that he’d had some time to think. He’d meant that bit about being calm. But he loved watching Dick squirm.

His face was hilarious. Dick’s not Dean’s. Dean looked down for business, whereas Dick may as well have been down on his knees. “You want me to apologise? Never see her again? Done. She’s all yours.”

“You think I was waiting for your permission or something? Nah. But I’d appreciate it if you come at me first.”

“Why?” Dick scowled.

“So I can claim self defence.”

To Dean’s exhilarated surprise, his jaunts worked and Dick lunged forward, colliding his fist into his cheek. The muscle below throbbed, and the broken skin stung, but the blood that swirled through his mouth was worth it.

Dick was too dumb to realise Dean was playing with him.

He took blow after blow, waiting for the moment Dick wore himself down to absolute exhaustion.

A punch to the gut. Another to his ribs. With each new strike, more of Dean’s stock appeared on the other alpha’s knuckles. If it weren’t for the colour, he may have confused the patterns and added chunky bits with strawberry jelly, seeds and all, smeared over his pasty white skin.

“Is this what you did to her?” Dean taunted. As much as the truth would anger him, he wanted to know. The more he heard, the easier beating Dick to a pulp would be.

But Dick was too busy concentrating on his workout. Huffing and puffing, with zero energy to answer, or blow the house down.

“That all you got?” Dean made him work a little harder. He’d started dodging, adding some defensive blocks amongst the steps he took backwards. His goal, further from the door, knowing full well that by bringing Dick into a different room, there would be no chance of any witnesses.

It proved more difficult, what with his centre of gravity slightly off because of the punch he’d allowed Dick to land on his right ear. But now in the kitchen, with counters he could lean and bounce off of, Dean decided it was time. His defence turned into offence, and in a matter of seconds, his fist had shaped its way into Dick’s face twice, the butt of his gun another, satisfying every part of his being.

Dean delivered more, all to the fleshiest parts of Dick. His stomach, his thighs, colliding with both boots, and his namesake, which met Dean’s very forceful left knee.

Both men winced. Both groaned, too. Only Dick was in pain, Dean out of mock sympathy.

His hand grabbed the back of Dick’s shirt next, lifting his body upright to send him flying, much like his front door. He landed head first into the lower cabinet with a thump and a flop onto the floor, where he received more of Dean’s wrath.

Looming over your mate, he used his boot to roll him to the side, further toeing his chin to make sure he had the bloodied face’s attention. “Being someone’s bitch ain’t so fun, huh, Dick?”

“Who wants breakfast?” Dean did his best to act casual and ignore the two pairs of eyes that followed him as he walked back into the room. His body ached all over.

He’d been gone a little under three hours now, but he knew that wasn’t what either of you had an issue with.

His brother’s gaze forever judged, while yours appeared concerned, possibly frightened, and neither surprised him, having received similar stares from strangers the entire way back to the motel. A swollen face and bloody knuckles just did that to people, and Dean accepted it.

“What happened?” Sam asked from behind his laptop. Though it should’ve been obvious “I thought—“

“Nothin’.” Dean wasn’t gonna talk about his confrontation with Dick. Not anytime soon, least of all when you were in the room. He needed to gauge your feelings on the matter first, then he’d play into them.

Would you be upset he’d beaten the guy into a pulp or were you concerned with his injuries at all? Because while the latter sure sounded appealing, it wouldn’t help his latest penchant towards you.

He moved to the table and unburdened his hands of everything he carried, starting one by one with the two trays of drinks he’d been balancing. “We got, ah, black, milk, mocha, red-eye, iced, breakfast tea? With, huh, milk? Hot chocolate, and,” he lifted a steaming cup to his chin and inspected the scrawl written on the lid, “the lady said this had Thai in it? I dunno. It’s popular with the locals.”

Impressed, Sam stood up and reached over to pick out a coffee Dean had labelled, only to be smacked away by an overtly aggressive hand.

“Ladies first.” Dean shot you a glance.

You were sitting on the bed he’d left you sleeping on, but had since been remade. As had his Sam’s, with his jacket folded at the end. “I also bought some sandwiches, donuts. Pie.” Both brows raised on that last part, and his grin, although stained with blood, was rather proud.

He had no idea what you liked, but he was confident you would find something to your tastes among this lot. He may have been intent on pushing you away, but he could still protect and act chivalrous towards his soulmate.

If you decided you wanted nothing, it wouldn’t go to waste because he was salivating over the aroma alone since he’d picked it all out. He could always have another coffee, too.

While he didn’t hesitate to pull up a chair and slump into it, he did second guess himself when he addressed you. “C’mon Omega. You must be hungry.”

The term slipped off his tongue with ease, and one thing he was suddenly certain about was his sack being empty. He’d dropped his balls somewhere between dealing with Dick and now, and this uncertainty and stilted behaviour needed to stop.

Even after seeing your apartment, being surrounded by your things and having his inadequacies resurface again. He wasn’t what you needed in your life, and he had to remind himself of that, though it drove him crazy.

This constant mystification around you would surely end with your reflection in Baby’s rearview once more, wouldn’t it?

Yes. It had to because he was Dean frigging Winchester. Never confused by anyone, male or female.

But you and your hesitant steps, observing him as you made your way to join them, were an enigma. Beautiful even with your still stiff gait and bruising on your face and neck that had darkened again. The two of you could almost be a matching pair. Dick sure favoured a hook.

“What’ll you have?” he asked as you sat down, eyes focused in and around his.

The plastic against your pelvis must’ve been uncomfortable. Dean paid particular attention to the way your expression tightened, then relaxed as your body did.

“Coffee? Tea?” He ignored his anguish, pointing to each cup as he listed them, waiting for your response, then passing you your selection when you did.

Your grip was gentle. Your bites and movements were just as soft as how you held your drink when you ate, and through Dean’s constant glimpsing, he found himself less and less interested in his own food.

“You sleep alright?” he said, and your lip twitched into a soft smile when you nodded. Your continued stare had him pulling at his collar.

Sam watched the entire exchange with interest. Here was Dean, someone so hellbent on never entering another relationship after whatever it was he’d had with Lisa and Ben, now infatuated with you. Sure you were soulmates, but it was simple and refreshing.

He saw the way Dean grappled with his instincts, trying to pretend you were no one special, even though all these sweet gestures showed otherwise. The food, the coffee, the bag he’d packed with as many things of yours as he could after leaving your apartment.

You may not have realised what the duffle below your feet was just yet, but Sam sure did. The scent of your belongings oozed off of it, blending with his brother’s own.

Cinnamon, apple, a touch of vanilla, and other spices that collected under those which Dean surrounded himself with. It fit that his palate, in its purest form, would work so well with that of his soulmates.

Almost the same as Sam and Jess’ own mix…

Sam understood Dean’s reluctance, not just with you, but with everyone. He appreciated that his own misery had shielded Dean from heartbreak so far. He wished the transformation he saw in his brother would open himself up more to find what he had lost.

Until then, though, Dean was going to receive a world of shit when they were alone again. Sam owed him for the morning’s wake up call. No doubt for other instances he still didn’t know about, too.

The clothes Dean had picked for you from your wardrobe before leaving the apartment, while fitting as they should, left him disappointed. As crazy as he knew the notion was, he enjoyed seeing you wearing his things, even though temporarily. There was something about the way his shirt flowed over your breasts and hips.

It had engulfed your figure. How it hung below your rear, revealing your thighs when you stretched, and the edging of what he presumed to be a cute pair of lacy panties hugging the curve of that sweet ass he’d pictured as he took care of himself.

Yup. He was going to hell. Again.

He’d been over this and it couldn’t happen.

‘She was just fucking assaulted, man,’ his brain rerouted. ‘Not even a day ago. She doesn’t need this shit from anyone, least of all her soulmate. Or her alpha.’

There it was, that primal side of him coming out. It had been there at your apartment too, but it, like the more sane part of him, was more interested in screwing with Dick at the time.

Now that it was all over, he needed to do his utmost best to reel it in. There was still one last thing that had to be addressed, and neither lusting nor pussyfooting around was going to get it done.

He had to cut ties with you. He had to. His life wasn’t for you, not after seeing the life you could have, with or without Dick. So as he helped you clean up from breakfast, sorting out scraps from leftovers and recycling from trash, he decided there was no time like the present. The sooner the better.

Dammit. He had to do this, now, and he listened to make sure the shower was still on and Sam, in it. Then, running his fingers over his hair, flinging each bristle forward, he cleared his throat.

“So, now that our case is over, me and Sammy will head home to Kansas.” He was smooth. In control, and confident in his delivery. It showed a little too well.

“Right,” you whispered. Your head, delaying by a second, gave a quick shake.

Was that pulling your teeth over your lip nerves? Disappointment?

Scrap that part about confidence. There was that powerful beat in his heart again. The one that felt like it had escaped his chest, pumping back and forth for the world to see.

“I ah. The good news is he won’t bother you anymore.”

Your body froze on the spot. “You—”

There was no need for you to say anything further because he could tell by your horrified expression alone you thought the worst.

“No. No, no. I mean, he looks worse than I do.” He chuckled awkwardly. “But I didn’t murder the guy. As much as I wanted to.”

He shouldn’t have said that.

“I might’ve hustled him a little first, but he’s gonna recover. Just like you will.” He paused and raised himself, pulling his muscles taut. He’d forgotten all about the medicated cream he’d bought you.

His hands touched his hips, then his thighs, searching his pockets, though he didn’t know why. The tube, still in its box, wouldn’t fit anywhere on his person.

He scanned the table and the ground below it before reaching down to pick up the small paper bag. “I got ya this at the pharmacy near the diner. They said it’d help with the infection. Might have to borrow some myself before we leave.” He grinned.

But you didn’t return it. Your brow furrowed as he stepped closer to hand it to you, fingers playing with the package the second they touched. “What’re you trying to say, Dean?” you said, and damn. Using his name stung.

You really were intuitive. He should’ve bargained for it. And what choice did he have but to rip the bandaid off? “Look. What I said about wanting you was true. But my life is dangerous, and I can’t bring anyone into it. Especially you.”

Though his words were every bit rejecting, the way your chest rose below the outline of his chin and your lashes batting against your cheek had him taken, and his concentration proved difficult to maintain.

There was a touch of spice in the air that hadn’t been there before. Something familiar, yet he couldn’t quite put his finger on where it came from. It was addicting, and while he knew it was wrong to let it engulf his senses, he didn’t stop himself.

“So,” he shuddered, using the slight tremor as a final plight to clear his head, “if there’s some place you can go, family or friends, I’m happy to take you there. Anywhere at all. I think it’s best you do that, and you know, forget about Ritchie, and—“

“And you.” Your lips were so plump and enticing. His eyes could only focus’s on their shine, moving under the light as you spoke.

“Yeah,” he whispered, his stomach pulling a one-eighty.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Nope. But what could he do? Your safety was far more important than his need to have you around. His life wasn’t for you. Hell, it wasn’t a life for anyone, and when he stuttered and your mouth pursed in an understanding smile, he was further reminded that what he was doing was right.

“It’s okay. I understand,” you said as your hand came up to touch his and your face lifted to graze a simple peck on the other.

The softness he felt against his skin covered his body in a blanket of goosebumps, igniting a fire within that made his blood thrum, and his ears pop and pulse along with his gut, churning once again. And before you could retract, before you could step away or even turn, his arm had wrapped around your waist, tight, and he commandeered a kiss of his own.

Was he stupid? Damn straight he was, but the genius that lay dormant would pull him through. His inner alpha would always be there to protect his omega. He just needed to figure out how.

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

How awesome was that gif at the top? Gave me goosebumps when I was going back and forth, formatting.

I wish I could say that’s the last we’ll see of Dick, but unfortunately, memories live on, and we’ll delve into them more in the future. Did Dean beat him up enough, though? I’ve killed some characters off in the past, not going to lie, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it with him.

We have a cyclone causing trouble here - yay - and my kids are already driving me insane. If you don’t hear from me, it’s because I’ve either lost power/internet, or I’m huddled in the foetal position of my living room, with my wine stash, gone… That’s far more likely. Enjoy your weekend wherever you are in the world!

Chapter 4: Familiarising - 14/03

Dean rolled off to the side, bringing you with him to rest your head against his chest instead. He pulled the covers with you to drape them across your shoulder. Close and cosy, but away from his clear arousal, choosing it best to leave the pressure in his pants over putting it on you.

“I, ah, just need a sec,” he breathed through the grin plastered over his face.

If only you’d give him one.

Your hand patted his sternum, but your leg wrapped over his, bringing your knee close to his semi.

“Not that I’m complaining, sweetheart, but you’re making it hard for me here.”

“Pun intended?” You asked, earning yourself a light smack on your rear.

@globetrotter28 @ambiguous-avery @arcannaa @jollyhunter @zepskies

@reluctanthalfwayoptimism @supernotnatural2005 @jackles010378 @kaz-2y5-spn @applelovesposts

@jaydensluv @foxyjwls007 @deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373 @waynes-multiverse

@kazchester-fanfiction @maddie0101 @ladykitana90 @luvr4miya @amyjam78

@stoneyggirl2 @winchesterwild78 @missywinchester15 @deansbbyx @kr804573

@lyarr24 @salemslostwitch @mostlymarvelgirl @ladysparkles78 @multiversefanfics

@31miw-inkpsycho @yoursrosie @Theantisoci-alone @roseamie13

@montlynamechange @deansimpalababy @justherefortheficandsmut @emma1998sblog @livingdeadblondequeen

@spn-fanfic-reblog-writes @losers-clvb @looneyoompa @linkilocks11 @nellybellyy

@smut02

If you'd like to be tagged in this or any of my other works, please let me know, or you can add yourself HERE

[ikeuluvr]

KISS ME THRU THE PHONE || Nishimura Riki

synopsis - surviving months on end without you while he’s touring is the equivalent of torture for bf!ni-ki, but thankfully facetime exists…

idol!ni-ki x reader / established relationship - fluff + teeny bit of angst / warnings: none! / word count: ~1k

part of ikeuluvr’s song series ᵔᴗᵔ — works inspired by songs! requests are open for other songs + anything else you would like to see from me <3

Ni-ki loves the rush of performing more than anything in the world. Standing on stage in dozens of different countries—looking out at the faces of his fans while some of them cheer, some laugh, dance, or even cry. The sound of everyone screaming his name makes him feel like the luckiest man alive. He dreads leaving the stage each night; watching the lights of the crowd slowly disappear as the screens close in front of him, giving him one less thing to look forward to. However, the one thing he knows he can always count on is speaking to you at the end of the night.

As much as Ni-ki adores touring, a small glint of guilt always resides in his heart each time he has to leave you for months at a time. Each goodbye is never easier as you go from having him sitting in front of you to propping up your phone screen at the table with him on a call. The time difference was nothing enjoyable either, the both of you waking up at the crack of dawn or going to sleep obnoxiously late depending on where Ni-ki is to make sure you have a chance to speak to each other that day.

As tonight marks week five out of six of being apart, Ni-ki feels especially restless wishing nothing more than for you to be in his arms as he sleeps his exhaustion off tonight. Once he’s driven back to the hotel, he doesn’t waste any time to say good night to his members before trudging to his room and throwing himself onto the bed. He pulls out his phone and speeds to click your contact to start a FaceTime call. Letting out a sigh, he stares at his tired face on his screen until it’s replaced with yours.

“Hi beautiful,” he hums, a smile plastering on his face as all of the energy he lost suddenly rushes back into his body, “I miss you.”

“Hi Riks, I miss you so much too!” you respond excitedly as you get comfortable on your couch, the sunlight peeking through your curtains while the moonlight peeks through Ni-ki’s, “How was the show tonight? I saw clips on social media, you guys were on fire.”

Ni-ki lets out an endeared chuckle at how adorable you are—the way you always keep track of every performance makes his heart flutter, “It was really really good! I love the Chicago crowd, they’re amazing. They were so loud tonight I could barely hear myself sing even with my monitors in.”

You flash a smile, listening intently as he speaks, his eyes sparkling with each word, “Aww I’m glad, it’s what you guys deserve,” you say, “I wish I could’ve been there. It looked so fun.”

“Yeah… me too,” Ni-ki answered, his tone dropping softly as the pain of missing you starts to hit again, “I keep wanting to look for you in the crowd until I remember you’re not here.”

A frown takes over your face as Ni-ki’s voice gets solemn, your heart slowly breaking at the way his face immediately drops, “Honey… only one more week, right? Only one more week and then we can spend every night cuddling in bed again while I kiss you all over your pretty face,” I grin, trying to cheer him up a little bit.

Ni-ki lets out a laugh as a pink blush covers his cheeks, “I’ll be counting down the week by the minute, don’t worry,” he hums before pausing, a smirk drawn on his face, “Do you think you could drop of of university to start touring with me?”

“Well! No…” you laugh, “Probably not the best idea sweetie, but good question.”

“I’m kidding, I wouldn’t let you do that even if you wanted to,” Ni-ki smiles, “But I really do wish you could be here with me every night. I love my job, but I love you so much more and I just-” he lets out a defeated sigh, “I wish I could bring you along and triple the joy I feel on tour by having you in the crowd each night.” His face falls again, a mix of irritation and heartache quickly filling his voice.

You tilt your head with a pout as Ni-ki’s eyes leave the screen to look somewhere else, the pained look on his face killing you inside, “I know Riki… I wish more than anything I could be with you too. In the future when things are a little different, we’ll travel the world together, hm? I’ll make you my cute little tour guide in every country,” you snicker with a smile, trying to bring him out of his melancholic state.

He lets out a snort at your response, playfully rolling his eyes, “Okay babe, I promise to be your cute and very handsome tour guide in the future,” Ni-ki retorts, letting out a long breath, “Hey love, can you give me a kiss?”

You quirk an eyebrow at his request thinking the jet lag may be getting to him at an exponential level and pause for a second to think of how to respond, “Ummm… I would love to baby, but there’s kind of an obstacle in the way if you haven’t noticed.”

“No, no I know, I’m not stupid I promise,” he chuckles, “But I miss you, I miss you, I really wanna kiss you…”

“And how are you expecting me to do this, Riks?”

“Baby, kiss me thru the phone,” Ni-ki says in a shy whisper, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips making you smile and flush a rosy pink, “Come on… I know you want to.”

“You’re so ridiculous, you know that?” you laugh, absolutely smitten with your boyfriend on the other end of the line, “But fine… I’ll kiss you thru the phone babe.”

Ni-ki lets out a giggle as he cheeses a boxy smile, quickly bringing the phone closer to his face and planting a kiss to his phone camera just as excitedly as if it were your actual lips he was kissing. You do the same with a lovesick grin painted on your face, pulling away a few seconds later to see the same adoring smile on Ni-ki’s lips, “We get to do that but for real in 7 days you know…” you remind him with a playful smile.

“Can’t wait baby… see you then.”

masterlist

[bagelsenjoyer14]

The Nice and Accurate Script Book: Episode 3, "Hard Times"

Hey everyone I'm back with my commentary on the third episode, meaning we are already half way through! This episode is my favorite Good Omens episode, and I was so excited to read it I actually finished it yesterday but I worked a 9 hour shift and haven't been able to sit down and type until today!

If you haven't already, you can find my commentary on the first and second episodes here:

First, "In The Beginning"

Second, "The Book"

Now that we're all caught up, lets begin!!

Have I mentioned yet that I love Crowley's humor, I coud just read his lines over and over again all day. Also I lowkey love the idea of Crowley actually meeting Jesus (Could potentially be a funny or devestating fanfic idea, depending...)

I looove when Good Omens makes historical references SO MUCH, especially when it alludes to the idea of Aziraphale accidentally causing something bad. If you don't know very much about Ancient Rome, Emporer Caligula was known for his extreme cruelty and alleged insanity, so it's a pretty easy job for Crowley. Nero was also another Roman emporer and he was known for his love of music and art as well as his tyrannical rule. Nero's obsession with performing was part of his percieved unfitness to rule. There's even a legend that he "fiddled while Rome burned." So as a result of Aziraphale getting him interested in music, he unknowingly made Nero much worse.

I mentioned in my last post how it's constantly insinuated that Crowley is at least punished by Hell pretty severly but it tends to somehow simultaneously be forgotten by the show and fans as a very big reason for Crowley acting and living his life the way he does. It's even mentioned again in this episode when Crowley saves Aziraphale in France:

I would be so interested in hearing what other people have to say about Hell's treatment of Crowley and how it affects not only the plot of the story, but also Crowley and Aziraphales relationship. (I might even post my take on it at some point if people are interested)

I love Aziraphale and his constant struggle with the language of love French

I just love Aziraphale he's so silly

Okay this actually killed me a litte. A lot of people speculate Crowley's thoughts and feelings on era when they didn't speak to eachother, but people rarley talk about how confusing it must have been to Aziraphale. Like ahhhhh imagine just trying to protect you're only friend and then you don't speak for 100 years :((

Just wanted to leave this extra 1967 scene for all the 60's Crowley enjoyers like myself. I really really wanted to see a revisit to this decade because it's honestly so iconic so it was really nice to stumble upon this in the script. I also just love Shadwell and Crowley interacting it's always hilarious to me.

OH MY GOD?? I honeslty wish I knew about this when I made my post about this scene (if you want you can check that out here because this not only proves my point of Aziraphale finally beginning to understand and question his beliefs because of Crowley and how terrified he is of it.

WE WERE ROBBEDDD!!!!

I plan on reading episode 4 right after posting this (the books is laying right next to me as we speak) but I work another long shift tomorrow so don't expect an update until later tomorrow night. Thank you so much to everyone who's been supporting this little series I've had so much fun reading your responses and learning new things about the script/series!

See you all tomorrow <3

[hot-on-my-watch]

An "Always the Grown-Up" Rant

I know that a lot of fans are angry at Moffat and Gatiss for a lot of things, and most of all for Season Four.

I personally am mad at them for a few things. Mostly things that I can easily let slide given the immense enjoyment I've had and continue to have from their BBC Sherlock series.

But THIS FUCKING LINE!!!

A woman's wedding ring is dirty even though the rest of her appearance is carefully curated? I'll handwave it and maybe google when we started using soap.

Man wears same large thick coat outdoors in all seasons? Fine. It's England. And I have an old (autistic) friend who actually does this.

John's eyebrow says that he hasn't rung his sister, and Mary's a bread baking disillusioned Guardian reader with a secret tattoo? Hahaha why not?

Sherlock has to use his incredible mind over matter to restart his heart but also "it was surgery"? Bit much, but I'll overlook it. For you.

Evil genius simultaneously hacks every screen in the country? Eh, ok.

Secret island prison? Sure. Let Sherlock live his pirate fantasy. Let John point his gun at someone. Let Moriarty play Queen while dramatically disembarking from a helicopter.

Predicting multiple terror attacks at lightspeed from Twitter? Well, we've come this far.

I do not watch Sherlock for 'slice of life' realism and dear lord I hope no one else does. I do not WANT realism. I want to forget that I am vast majority bedbound and that people are out there having coffee and going for a pint and working at normal jobs with payslips and lanyards and spreadsheets. And generally speaking, BBC Sherlock has helped a lot with that!

But WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK were they THINKING WITH THIS LINE???

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

Sherlock is barely a fucking grown-up on his own, but I'd allow it. Especially after the "baby" jokes John, Lestrade and he himself have previously made at his expense.

But COMPARED TO MYCROFT?!?!

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. LADS?????

WERE YOU HIGH? WERE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MINDS? WHAT THE FUCK???!!!

See, after I first heard this, I quickly recon headcanon-(is this a thing? Is there a name for this soecific thing?) -ed it into Mrs Holmes the mad genius being completely out of touch with the social reality of her children- especially as she's been so harsh to Mycroft in this scene and not massively had to look after adult Sherlock herself. Because, y'know, Mycroft was doing it!

Then I complained about it on Reddit.

To my HORROR, another user told me that Steven Moffat had said in an interview that it was meant to be taken as true. But y'know, we're all just randoms on the internet and people get things wrong.

Then another user told me they theorised that Eurus had reprogrammed her parents to favour Sherlock, which is an interesting theory.

But clearly in the script, everyone... including Sherlock and Mycroft... just quietly agrees.

What....

What is the reasoning for this?

I know some will say "mate, welcome to all of season four" or even "three and four" or all of it.

I know some people consider Mycroft a bully, but I really don't. Certainly not after the scene on the plane and the 'Redbeard' reveal.

I'm open to persuasion though. If anyone has any thoughts on this, feel free to share! I might well not agree, but I won't attack you either.

Or the writers. But again, if I ever end up trapped with them in a lift or some such... I WILL have questions!

/rant.

[madhels-enby-boyfriend]

Play stupid games

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanne x reader (company, f!Bobbie)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, use of strong language, smut, a bit of awkwardness.. that’s it I think?

Tags: smut, angst and fluff, J riding r thigh, fingering (r receiving), switch!Joanne, switch!reader, hickeys, love confessions, domestic fluff, cuddling

Notes: I have to start out by thanking @imorynn once again for beta reading this, listening to my rants about this chapter, and for giving me life with her live comments 🙂‍↕️ thank you so much, my friend, I appreciate you very much 🫂🫶🏻

Secondly, I still am not the greatest smut writer, so I hope it is still an enjoyable read. I also want to take a second to thank everyone who has taken their time to read this series and an extra thanks to the people that have left comments, they truly always make my day 🫶🏻🥰

Now on to the fic!

Words: ~6.8K

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 5: Change the prophecy

You anxiously waited in front of Joanne’s door, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. Today had been incredibly strange and had left you feeling so many emotions that you could barely keep up. Especially your phone call with Joanne.. you still didn’t really understand what had happened. You had gone from relieved and hopeful when you had seen her name flash across your screen, to confused when she hadn’t said a word, to angry and heartbroken when she refused to answer a simple question, making you fear that you already knew the answer and it wasn’t the one you had hoped it would be, and then back to worried and confused at Joanne’s strange behaviour.

And now you were standing in front of her door, your mind coming up with every worst case scenario, telling you she definitely regretted last night and had asked you to come over so she could tell you that it all had been one big mistake and that she hoped you both could forget it. Before you could continue to spiral the door opened and your eyes landed on Joanne’s form, she looked like she was even more anxious than you.. if that was even possible.

She stepped aside to let you in without saying a word, the tension in the air was palpable and you feared it would crush you under its weight if either of you didn’t speak up soon. The feelings whirling inside you made it difficult for you to stay grounded and in the present. You walked inside and automatically made your way over to your usual spot on the couch.

Your anxiety only grew worse as the silence continued to put its unbearable weight on your chest, there was so much you wanted to say, to ask, but you couldn’t bring yourself to, not before you heard what Joanne had to say. You could already guess it was nothing positive… she rarely was this serious and by the way she had acted during your phone call you knew something was wrong. The anger, sadness and hurt you had felt earlier were still very much present but they were currently overtaken by worry.

Joanne finally spoke up, her voice cutting through your thoughts, her eyes flitting from the floor to the wall and behind you to the door, looking anywhere but at you. She sounded scared and small, like she was standing face to face with a large predator. A frown made its way to your face as your worry grew and you fought the urge to reach out to her, to hold her hand in your own. No matter how much she had hurt you, seeing her like this made you want to do whatever you could to comfort her.

“I shouldn’t have left.. this morning… I..I just..”

A groan fell from her lips, you could tell she was starting to get frustrated.. with what or whom you weren’t entirely sure. You could hear the genuine regret in her voice, though that did little to calm your nerves. You began to wonder whether she regretted leaving or the fact that she had woken up in your bed in the first place.

“I thought it would be for the better… then I wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of my own actions..”

Your heart sank as you heard her speak those words, tears filling your eyes but you refused to shed them. Had she really regretted last night that much? Had she hated yesterday so much that she couldn’t bear to face reality.. couldn’t bear to face you the next morning? You wanted to speak, to ask her, but you couldn’t get anything past the lump in your throat so you just let her continue. You watched her as her hands nervously fiddled with the hem of her skirt, while you fought the tears that threatened to spill.

“I realise now that it was unfair to you… and that it left us both with more questions than answers.. so.. I.. I want to rectify that and explain myself.”

Joanne’s voice shook as she talked, she was rambling, like this was a speech she had learned by heart and needed to get out now, before she forgot the words.. or lost the courage to say them. Your frown deepened as you studied her features, trying to find any clue as to what she was about to say next, so you could prepare yourself, your heart, for the inevitable devastating blow that was about to follow.

“Yesterday was…”

‘A mistake, wrong, a one time thing’ your mind unhelpfully finished Joanne’s sentence for her. You bit your lip harshly to try and stop yourself from crying, while you tried your best to focus on Joanne’s words. You looked at the floor, you couldn’t bear to look at her while she would undoubtedly crush all your hopes and dreams.

“perfect.. and then this morning I woke up and all I could think about was how I would inevitably ruin it… like I always do.”

You looked up, shock clearly written all over your features. For the first time since you had arrived Joanne’s eyes met your own. The intensity of the emotions whirling behind those beautiful brown eyes knocked the wind out of you. Never before had she let her eyes display her emotions so openly. You could see hurt, regret, fear and anxiety swirl behind those eyes.. and there was something else, something fighting to make itself known but still being pushed down by the woman in front of you.

“So I left… fled before I could hurt you... before you could regret everything…I’m sorry but I just couldn’t risk tainting you with my baggage.”

She stopped for a moment, she seemed to be mulling something over, uncertainty now joining the many other emotions you could see behind those eyes. Your own emotions became more turbulent, part of you was worried, she had just apologised for the second time in the span of an hour… you had never seen this side of Joanne before, so scared, so small.. you barely even recognized her. You took Joanne’s hand in your own, giving it a gentle squeeze, hoping to be able to give her some sort of comfort.

It looked like she wanted to say something else, but she stopped herself and was now looking at you expectantly. And suddenly it hit you that it was your turn to speak.. you weren’t sure what to say.. you were still trying to make sense of everything Joanne had said.

You weren’t quite sure how you felt.. you had your own internal war waging. Part of you understood, you knew Joanne… or well you had thought you did… you had been aware of her more self conscious side.. but you had no idea it plagued her this badly. Had she really thought this lowly of herself all along? Was she truly convinced that she could only ever ruin you? Your heart broke for her and you wished she could see herself through your eyes. Then she would see the caring, funny and beautiful woman you saw when she allowed you to peer through the cracks in her walls. But part of you was still hurt, wanted more answers, needed to know what this meant for you two in the future. Her words still didn’t make complete sense to you.

You had so much to say, so much to ask, but you couldn’t find the words, nothing felt right. You wanted to soothe the ache she was so clearly feeling but didn’t know how.. Joanne had been right.. this was complicated. You were about to start speaking, unsure of what to say but no longer able to bear this silence, but before your first word could make it past your lips, Joanne began to speak again, seemingly surprising herself.

“Do you regret it.. spending the night with me?”

She blurted the question out, her voice wavering near the end of her sentence. It took you by surprise, you hadn’t expected her to speak again, and you definitely hadn’t expected this question. You could see even more fear and worry fill her captivating eyes, drowning out most other emotions, except for the one that she had been repressing this entire time.. the one you couldn’t put a name on.

“No. Not even a little.”

Your voice came out steadier and stronger than you felt, but you wanted to make sure that she believed you when you told her. You would do it all over again, even if you knew that she would leave the next morning. You had never felt as whole as you did when Joanne had been in your arms, and you would give anything to feel that whole again.. even if it would be ripped away again the next morning.

Joanne seemed to be searching your eyes for something else, something more… or maybe she was just trying to check if you were speaking the truth.. you didn’t dare say anything with certainty anymore. You followed up your statement with a question of your own.

“Do you?”

Your voice was void of any of the strength it held previously. You weren’t sure what you would do if she said she regretted it.. could you even remain friends after that? Your heart was racing inside your chest as you awaited her answer.

“No. I only regret not staying.”

You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, feeling relief wash over you, though confusion soon followed. You were unsure of what her earlier words had meant… you had thought she was telling you that she regretted the evening and couldn’t bear to face the consequences of the night you had spent together. You studied Joanne’s features and tried to make sense of the situation but failed completely.

Joanne’s lower lip wobbled a little and you could see the frustration grow on her features as her brow furrowed. She took a deep breath, her voice a little steadier as she asked the next question, although her eyes betrayed the growing terror inside her.

“Was it just a way to blow off some steam for you?”

You were a little shocked by the question, you thought you had been quite obvious last night… but then again you also thought that Joanne had basically admitted to liking you back last night, only for her to disappear the next day so.. maybe you should stop making assumptions.

Your heart hammered inside your chest as your rational side told you to lie, told you to take the safe path.. that way if Joanne wanted it to be a one night stand, you could go back to being friends and nothing had to change. But you couldn’t lie to her, not when it came to something as important as this.. not when you could potentially hurt the woman in front of you, when she had been brave enough to ask the questions that you hadn’t been able to voice.

“No, no of course not! I.. had wanted to do that for a long time and then when you were so clearly jealous I…well.. I assumed we felt the same.. and I thought I had been quite obvious last night when we… that it was more than just lust and desire. I-”

You stopped yourself from rambling on and let go of Joanne’s hand. You began fidgeting with your fingers, looking down at your hands, unable to continue looking at the woman in front of you. You had just basically handed her your heart on a silver platter. Sure you were being vague, but even with these simple sentences you had given her the power to smash your already battered heart into a million bits and pieces. Your anxiety spiked so much that you felt nauseous, and your head was reeling with all the possible ways this could go horribly wrong.

The silence dragged on for what felt like an eternity, your mind convinced you that this silence wasn’t a good sign. You were about to tell Joanne to just forget everything you said when she finally spoke up. Her voice was hurried, like she was trying to get the words out before she could change her mind.

“I love you... I’m in love with you.. and it scares me. But we can never happen, because once you get to really know me, you will end up hating me and I will lose you completely and I can’t.. I can’t lose you.”

You looked up at her after the first three words and saw the conflicting emotions in her eyes. The sadness, the hurt, the fear and then the feeling you hadn’t been able to figure out… love… it was so obvious now.. how had you not realised it sooner? The happiness you felt at her confession, at knowing she felt the same way, was quickly erased when she continued. You could hear the terror in her voice, the pain behind her words and it ached.. ached to see her so fearful, so sure that nothing good could ever come from loving or being loved by her.

You watched as a tear made its way past her defenses, so you gently cupped her cheek and wiped it away with your thumb as you looked at her with nothing but love, understanding and care in your eyes. Your own pain was forgotten, the only thing that mattered now was to somehow make the woman in front of you understand that even if her hands disintegrated your heart by simply touching it, you would still gladly hand it over, it was already hers anyway.

Joanne leaned into your touch and looked up at you with unshed tears in her eyes and you could tell she was fighting to not raise up her walls once again, to defend her heart and never let anyone in, ever again.

When you spoke, your voice was soft yet steady, you made sure to look into her eyes so she could see the care and love you felt for her clearly displayed in your own.

“You could never lose me, I have been yours for longer than I care to admit and nothing you do could change that. No matter what happens after today, no matter what we decide to do, my heart will remain here with you, in its rightful place, your beautiful hands.”

You took her hands in your own once again and lifted them up to your mouth, gently kissing them both as you looked into her eyes before continuing.

“What you choose to do with it is up to you, it’s yours now. Whether you tear it up to pieces or treat it as a precious artifact, it doesn’t matter. I know you, I have seen the real Joanne, and it’s that Joanne that I have fallen madly and irrevocably in love with.”

Earlier your fear may have made you doubt whether you knew her at all, but knowing what you did now, after having been allowed to look past her defenses and into her heart, you were more certain than ever that you knew her, that you had gotten to see the real woman behind the façade that she had created to protect herself.

Joanne stared up at you, the whirlwind behind her eyes intensified, your words of devotion stirring something deep within her. Terror and love seemed to be battling one another as she tried to find the words to respond to you.

You waited patiently, despite your words and the steadiness of your voice, you weren’t as calm as you seemed. Your heart was hammering inside your chest, it had taken all of your strength and courage to speak so openly about your feelings, and that courage and strength were now being tested as silence had once again filled the air.

“If you’re willing to risk your heart.. then.. then so am I.”

Your heart skipped a beat as her words reached your ears, you could barely believe this was actually happening, this definitely wasn’t how you expected this to go, but you weren’t complaining. You couldn’t stop the smile that made its way to your face as you watched the corners of Joanne’s mouth twitch into a small and timid smile of her own.

As you looked into her eyes you could see the war she had been fighting earlier still seemed to be waging beneath the surface. Though it was clear that one side was winning, luckily for you it was the side you were rooting for.

“So what do we do now? … You’d think I’d be better at this after three marriages..”

The laugh that followed was filled with both joy and anxiety. You knew what she was doing, trying to diffuse the situation with a joke, trying to hide how terrified she really was, but you saw right through it, you didn’t even need to peer through the cracks in her walls anymore, because her walls had come down, and you could see her clear as day now.

“Now you let me take you out on a proper date.”

You sounded confident and determined, and although you might still feel a little nervous, those nerves were overshadowed by the happiness and disbelief you were currently feeling. Although those in turn couldn’t compare to the intensity of the love you currently felt for Joanne.

“I’m free tomorrow.”

You didn’t miss the mischievous glint in her eyes as she spoke. You raised your eyebrow questioningly, you had expected her to demand you take her on a date right this second.. keeping yesterday’s impatience and the clear eagerness in her voice in mind. But before you could question her on it, she continued.

“Today we’re spending the rest of the day in here. I have some making up to do.”

You laughed, completely shocked at how she had suddenly turned into her bossy self again. Normally you would have rolled your eyes at her demands and teased her a little before giving in, but right now you were just too happy to see Joanne regain some of her confidence, without her putting her walls back up.

“And what kind of making up did you have in mind, exactly, darling?”

You asked as innocently as you could, while you felt your heart slowly starting to repair itself… no.. no it wasn’t healing itself… it was being healed by the woman in front of you. She looked at you with such adoration in her eyes, even when that mischievous glint shone in those brown hues, that looking into them felt like she was applying a soothing balm on your aching wound. There was a healing property in the way her lips twitched into a playful smirk as she thought of all the lude ways she could respond. And the trust she displayed in you, by letting her feelings be so clearly seen, by not immediately putting her walls back up, by letting you, and only you, see this side of her, bandaged your heart up with such care and love that you might just forget it had been hurt in the first place.

Joanne straddled your lap, her skirt hiking up just a little to make the movement possible, and threw her arms around your neck.

“I have an idea or two in mind… but why don’t you tell me how you would like me to.. make amends.”

You rested your hands on her hips and found that they fit perfectly like two puzzle pieces finally connecting, like your bodies had been molded for one another. Your eyes traveled back up to her own and chuckled lowly when you saw desire take over those captivating brown eyes. Leave it to Joanne to somehow turn this situation into something filthy.

“You could start by kissing me. I missed having your lips on mine.”

You didn’t miss the little smile gracing Joanne’s face before she captured your lips with her own. You had expected her to kiss you like she had last night, hungry, full of need and desire, her lust barely concealed. So when she kissed you and poured all of her feelings into it, when the kiss was soft, loving and tender, you had been surprised to say the least. Sure there was want and need there.. but it was like those feelings no longer mattered, they didn’t have the upper hand. She wasn’t kissing you to get you into bed, she was kissing you to express her love and care for you.

You kissed her back with that same intensity, pouring every single thing you felt for her into the kiss, your thumbs softly caressing her clothed hips, as if you needed something to ground yourself, to remind you that this was real, that she really was here, you could feel her, right here in your hands.

When Joanne pulled back, in need of air, she rested her forehead against yours, her nose lightly nuzzling yours as she tried to catch her breath. Her hand came up to ever so gently wipe away a tear that had made its way down your cheek. You hadn’t even been aware of its journey till the back of Joanne’s fingers carefully brushed it away. She ever so gently pressed a kiss to your cheek, as if to soothe the spot where your tear had just fallen.

“Oh baby…”

Her voice was soft, warm and full of concern, a frown made its way to her face, and she was about to continue talking when you interrupted her.

“A happy tear, my love, I never thought I’d get to experience this.”

You sent her a reassuring smile and a chuckle while you softly squeezed her hips to emphasise your words. Joanne searched your eyes, you assumed she was looking to see if you were telling the truth, when she seemed to be pleased with the answer you had given her, her eyes drifted to your neck, the marks she had left the night before clearly visible. Her fingers slowly and carefully began to trace them, as if she was entranced by them.

“You really did a number on me.”

You said teasingly, a triumphant smile appearing on your lips when the slightest hint of a blush appeared on Joanne’s cheeks. Her eyes met yours again as she raised her eyebrow questioningly, before playfully responding.

“You’re one to talk. Have you seen the battlefield you left behind?”

Now it was your turn to blush, which had Joanne looking entirely too pleased with herself. You rolled your eyes while trying your best to make the blush disappear.

You were about to answer when a stomach growl interrupted you. The playfulness that hung in the air slowly dissipated and concern laced itself within your features.

“Have you eaten anything today?”

Your voice filled with care and a tinge of worry as you asked the question, you didn’t need a response to know the answer, the guilty look on her face betrayed her. You looked at your phone to check the time, 5 pm, you looked back up at her disapprovingly before speaking again, not waiting for an answer.

“Let me see if you have anything in that kitchen of yours.”

You lightly patted her hips, as a sign for her to get off, so you could search her fridge and pantries in the hopes of finding anything edible. As Joanne climbed off of your lap and back onto the couch, your own stomach grumbled… maybe you had been a little bit of a hypocrite. Joanne crossed her arms and tilted her head, matching the look you had given her earlier. You shot her a sheepish grin before getting up and walking to the kitchen, starting your quest for food.

You had to admit you already missed having Joanne in your lap, you liked having her that close, her scent invading your senses, feeling her weight on you, having her ass and tits both in groping distance. You quickly tried to rid yourself of that last thought as you opened Joanne’s pantries.

You grabbed all the ingredients you’d need for a decent pasta sauce and began working on making dinner. This definitely wasn’t the first time you’d cooked for Joanne at her place, but it was the first time you’d cook for her as her.. well what were you? You sure as hell were much more than just friends now… problems for another time, you decided as you continued working on the food.

You suddenly felt two arms wrap around your waist, followed by gentle kisses being placed on the side of your neck. You instinctively leaned into her touch before turning your head a little. You chuckled as you saw Joanne stand on her tippy toes to be able to reach your neck better.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur of domestic bliss. After a while Joanne had moved from hugging you from behind, to sitting on the kitchen counter, stealing kisses whenever she could. She had demanded to taste the sauce and had playfully given you directions on how to make it better.

During dinner the air had been filled with light banter and teasing remarks. Joanne’s foot had made its way up your calf more than once, but whenever she drew a reaction from you she stopped and with every frustrated huff you let out, her smirk grew. Once you had both finished eating, her hand reached out over the table for yours and you intertwined your fingers with hers. Her thumb softly stroked the back of your hand as you talked for.. well you weren’t sure for how long… it had felt like time stood still in that moment, the only thing that mattered was Joanne and you in this very moment.

After cleaning up the kitchen together, you went back to Joanne’s comfortable couch and turned on the television. Joanne clearly wanted to be close to you, but still was too proud to actually admit it, so she had sat down next to you without cuddling up to you. You internally rolled your eyes and pulled her into your side. Her fake protest soon faltered as her head found its way to your shoulder while she curled up into your side, tugging her legs beneath her while wrapping her arms around you.

It didn’t take long before Joanne had apparently decided that you were far more interesting than whatever show she had put on. She began by placing soft and innocent kisses on the marks on your neck that she had left yesterday, those kisses were soon replaced by more hungry ones as she sought out places she had previously left unmarked and began to add new hickeys to the already large collection. As you were about to complain about her being a tease, she turned off the tv and muttered against your neck.

“I still have some making up to do.”

You chuckled lowly as you pulled her back into your lap, her teasing had left you impatient and ready to tear off her clothes. You somehow managed to control yourself and with a raspy voice whispered in her ear.

“I’m going to make you earn it, darling.”

You placed a kiss behind her ear, drawing a soft moan from Joanne, while you hiked her skirt up over her ass before you roughly squeezed it. You pulled back a little and watched as her eyes filled with lust. You kissed her hungrily and passionately, a contrast to the kiss from earlier.

She didn’t waste a second and kissed you back with the same amount of need and want as you had displayed. With the way she was positioned in your lap, you could feel the effect your words and the kiss had had on her, which caused you to smirk against her mouth.

You gently bit her bottom lip, which caused her to gasp out a moan and whine against your mouth, which made it easier for your tongue to push past her lips. Your tongue explored her mouth and teased her tongue until there was no air left in your lungs. You pulled back reluctantly and rested your forehead against hers before rasping out.

“If I knew this is how today was going to turn out I would have brought my strap, I bet you would look so pretty riding it.”

The thought seemed to appeal to Joanne because you could feel the way her pussy throbbed at the thought. She bit her lip and her pupils dilated and you had to admit you enjoyed seeing the bossy woman turn into a needy mess, just at the thought of riding your strap.

“For now my thigh will have to do.”

Joanne didn’t need any other directions as she placed one knee in between your legs and the other on the left side of your leg, positioning her center right on your thigh. You made her lift her hips a little so you could hike your own dress up to your hips, wanting to feel the woman on top of you grind herself against your bare skin. You pushed her back down on your thigh again and gasped a little when you felt just how soaked she was, which caused Joanne’s cheeks to be painted in the faintest shade of red.

You pushed her skirt up over her hips so she could move easier, before getting rid of her shirt and bra, your hands quickly replacing the fabric. You began to massage her voluptuous breasts before crashing your lips against Joanne’s once again.

When she didn’t continue to grind against your thigh, your hands moved to her hips, pushing her down harder against your thigh, before slowly beginning to move them for her, hoping she would get the message. Joanne seemed to understand because seconds later she began to ride your thigh on her own accord.

Your hands moved to her ass, giving it a harder squeeze, which caused her to groan against your mouth before pulling back in need of air. You massaged her ass roughly while your mouth found its way to her boobs, hungrily sucking, biting and licking any skin it could reach.

The sounds that spilled out of Joanne’s mouth as her head fell back and the way her underwear grew more and more soaked by the second, only fuelled your actions, making sure to give both boobs the same amount of attention while your nails dug into the ample flesh of her ass. Joanne arched her back and pushed her breasts harder against your mouth as her breathing became ragged and her movements became more erratic. Her hands had landed on your shoulders, holding them tightly as if she were trying to ground herself by holding on to you.

Your hands moved to her hips and you began to guide her hips, helping her to keep a steady rhythm. You flexed your thigh while reluctantly pulling your mouth away from her boobs.

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart. You look absolutely divine like this.”

You whispered as you looked up at her. You meant every word, she looked absolutely stunning. Her skin was gleaming from sweating and had gained a few new marks, her brows were knitted together, her chest heaved up and down as her breathing became shallow, and her mouth hung open as she let every filthy sound escape from between her lips.

“Are you going to ruin those panties for me, hmmm? Are you going to cum just from riding my thigh?”

Your words came out hurried as you were making a mess of your own underwear, as you watched Joanne try and fail to come up with a witty response, instead losing herself in chasing her own high. You had half the mind to tease her for it, but you were too lost in watching her hump your thigh while you guided her hips.

You watched as she toppled over the edge, moaning your name while her nails dug into your shoulders almost painfully. Her rhythm slowed and you helped her ride through her orgasm as you whispered praises in her ear before she collapsed into you. You gently stroked her back and placed a gentle kiss on her temple.

When her breathing evened out you carefully picked her up, which caused her to yelp and you to chuckle, and carried her to her bedroom. You gently placed her on the bed as she murmured something about being able to walk, before you crawled on top of her.

“After that little performance, you deserve to lay back and relax.”

You smirked as you got rid of her skirt while placing butterfly kisses all over her naked front and belly. After discarding her skirt, you planned to get rid of the panties she had ruined earlier, but were interrupted when Joanne spoke up.

“No, wait…”

You stopped immediately, concern visible in your eyes as you searched her desire filled ones for any sign of discomfort.

“I want to make you feel good.. show me how.”

There was a touch of vulnerability in the way she commanded you, something softer in the way she asked, it was subtle, but it was there. She looked up at you with her pleading eyes, her hands softly tugging at your dress. How could you deny her anything when she looked up at you with those big brown eyes?

“Yes ma’am.”

You answered teasingly before you let her take off your dress and watched as her eyes roamed your body. Her hands made light work of your bra and tossed it across the room, you got up and sent your panties flying after it, before crawling back on top of her. Joanne’s hands landed on your hips and before you even properly realized what she was doing, she had switched your positions. You were now laid on your back, looking up at the woman who mere seconds ago was laying beneath you. She was acting more confident than she actually felt though, you could tell by the look in her eyes and the slight hesitancy when she reached out to touch your chest. You were quick to reassure her.

“I’ll tell you what feels good, honey, just think of what you like when you touch yourself and we’ll start from there.”

You rasped out as you gently took her wrists in your hands and guided her hands to your chest. Your encouragement seemed to give her more confidence as she slowly massaged your boobs, her thumbs teasingly caressing your nipples. You let out a soft moan and were about to encourage her when she surged forward to capture your lips with hers. Her thumbs began to circle your nipples, which caused you to push your chest against her hands and to moan against her mouth.

Her mouth travelled to your sternum, the kisses she left on her way there were soft at first but quickly turned into sucking at biting at the skin as she reached her destination. Clearly she had decided it was her turn to leave some marks. You moaned out her name along with some praises as one of your hands tangled in her hair. Once your nipples hardened she flicked them with her thumb, causing you to whine.

After watching Joanne fuck herself on your thigh, you were already soaked, and you really needed Joanne to take care of the mess she had created.. and was currently creating. So with the hand that was still holding her wrist, you slowly guided her hand down to where you needed her most, which caused Joanne to pause her assault on your chest. You gave her time enough to protest and closely watched her reaction as you guided her hand.

She seemed eager but nervous so you voiced how you were feeling, hoping to help her get out of her own head a little.

“I need you, baby, I’m soaked. You’ve made quite the mess. Do you wanna feel?”

You paused your descent on top of your mound and watched as her pupils dilated with desire. She hoarsely managed to mumble a “yes” while her hand began to move of her own accord. Her gaze remained trained on you while she carefully slid two of her fingers between your folds, a gasp falling from her mouth when she felt just how wet you were for her.

“All for you.”

You moaned out as her fingers slowly and carefully made their way up and down your slit. You pulled her in for a kiss, your tongue sliding over her bottom lip as you moaned against her mouth. Those moans turned into whines when Joanne’s fingers found your clit. Her free hand continued its work on your boob, massaging it a little rougher and pinching your nipple every once in a while.

She pulled back from the kiss and tentatively circled your clit, you could feel her eyes on you, watching any reaction closely, looking for reassurance. You let out every filthy sound that bubbled its way to the surface, which made Joanne more sure in her movements. She applied a little more pressure to your clit and rubbed tighter circles as she picked up speed.

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart.”

You managed to get out in between moans, praises falling freely from your lips. Your hands settled in the sheets beneath you as you felt your walls flutter around nothing. You desperately needed her fingers inside you, you had waited for this moment for a long while and your patience was running thin.

“I need you inside me.”

You breathed out, the need clear in your words as you looked up at those hungry eyes. Joanne didn’t need to be told twice and slowly pushed her two fingers inside you, which caused you to moan Joanne’s name. You growled a curse when she began moving her fingers in and out of you, slowly and tentatively at first, but your whines spurred her on and soon she started picking up her pace and moving her fingers with more certainty.

“Fuck! Just like that, Joanne….”

You gasped when she found the perfect rhythm, you moved your hips to try and meet it. You could feel your thighs begin to shake as your orgasm neared. You incoherently mumbled something about being close as you grasped the sheets beneath you tightly.

“Cum for me, baby.”

She whispered into your ears, her voice low and sultry, though barely hiding the desire to watch you come undone by her own hands. That little sentence in combination with Joanne continuing her efforts and beginning to circle your clit with her thumb, was all it took to send you over the edge. You came all over her fingers, gasping her name as you threw your head back in pleasure.

You came back down to earth, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath, letting go of the sheets and whining when Joanne gently pulled her fingers out, looking mighty proud of herself. She wrapped her lips around her fingers and licked and sucked them clean, moaning at your taste, while never looking away from you. You let out something between a moan and a groan as you watched her, this woman was going to drive you insane.

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

You chuckled breathlessly as you watched Joanne get rid of her ruined underwear before laying down next to you and pulling you closer to her.

“You’re so dramatic.”

She teased, playfully rolling her eyes. You watched as the last bit of tension finally left her body as your head found its place on her chest. You listened to her heartbeat as she played with your hair, placing soft and loving kisses on the skin you could reach.

You could feel yourself growing sleepy when the negative thoughts began to swarm your mind, the fear of her once again disappearing before you woke, settled into your chest. So you broke the comfortable silence, the confidence you had previously displayed now completely gone and replaced by uncertainty and anxiety.

“Please don’t leave.”

You knew you were at her place and that the fear wasn’t logical, but you couldn’t help the terror that had settled deep within you. You felt her movements still for a moment, which caused you to worry that you may have ruined the moment completely. But before you could spiral you felt Joanne place the softest kiss on the top of your head before speaking in a soft voice.

“I’ll be right here in the morning.”

Her voice was steady and reassuring and clearly conveyed the seriousness and honesty of her message. So you decided to trust her and let sleep wash over you while you listened to Joanne’s heartbeat.

The next morning when you awoke, you felt the heat of Joanne’s body beneath you and could hear her soft snores above you. You couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across your lips as you opened your eyes, looked up and saw an adorable, sleeping Joanne, snoring softly.

[spiegelgestalt]

The Residence is very enjoyable, very kind, very sincere and a deeply conservative show

Let me preface this with something: The residence isn't right wing. It doesn't hate LGBTQ+ or black people. Its not needlessly cruel or aggressive. The residence is conservative in the true sense of the word: to conserve, keep and respect what is already there and what came before. And because it's a very sincere and good show it actually gave me the answer to a question which i had for a very long time: Why oh why do people always conflate leftist politics and right wing politic. It doesnt make sense. But i have an answer now. Leftists and Maga people agree on one thing: things have to change. they can't stay the way they are. And in that they are a threat to a true conservative. BTW i will spoil the culprit under the cut:

To understand my points we must acknowledge the huge extremely unsubtle theme inside “the Residence”: The White house is the USA; the workers inside the white house are the people of the country and the ones who are leading the white house staff are representations of the leaders of the country. Harry Hollinger, the president and his husband have an interesting role because they aren’t directly responsible for the white house and are strangely removed from this theme. Harry has at least a bit to do with it and Mr. Morgan is a stand in for the undecided liberal – but the president himself is a non-character. At most he’s like the white house a stand in for the country itself. Around those characters the series a) pulls its punches and b) the theme of the series breaks down a bit.

I will exclude the detective, and the people in the congress hearing from this analysis as they are clearly meant as observers/stand in for the audience.

A.B Wynter is a man who’s being hated for the sins and decisions Lilly Schumacher did. He’s well meaning and kind black man while not being particularly warm. A lonely person who tries his best to protect the White House as it once was. Everyone blames him for everything even though he’s good at his job. While the real culprit runs free.

Lilly Schumacher is pretty easy to hate. She is a flighty Las Vegas gal, who steals from people, who makes really distasteful interior design decisions especially around hotels. She’s bad at what she does and blames everyone else for it. She doesn’t care about the feelings of other people. She’s rich. She hides behind other people and depends on the fact that she will never take the blame. She becomes extremely vicious if there’s a real danger that she will be held actually responsible. And even in the end it’s kinda hidden that she’s the murderer. The world moves to protect her. She’s basically a metaphor for the rich elite, “who’s ruining the country.”TM

And I think the show pulled it’s punches a bit by making Lilly Schumacher the villain and not the president or his husband.

Because  I don’t know if you noticed: this series was really unsubtle how blame and responsibility was given down through the ranks. Its said explicitly: you can’t be betrayed by someone who was never on your side. AB Wynter never passed the blame down. He took responsibility and that’s why the blame stayed with him. He was supposed to protect the house and its people. Which were a very diverse cast of worker (Melting pot…; from the fuck up on the third floor, to the gardener, to the kitchen chef). And while the people who did the work and kept things running are pretty diverse the people who run the government are all white men. And I originally thought that Lilly was like AP Wynter a person between a rock and a hard place. The she was just expressing the wishes the president and his husband had and was in the end another person who got blamed but passed the blame around. But the show didn’t do this. It removed the blame from all the disasters in the white house from the president and his staff, and they removed it from AP Wynter and put it all on Lilly Schumacher as a representation of the rich bitch who didn’t deserve to be where she was and who hated America and American democracy and was to blame for all the ills in the white house. And this is easy to believe because we all know at least one person who is like her.

Lilly is also pretty Trump coded with her outrageous promises, incompetence and general disregard for America and American democracy. Theres even a speech about her in the end. But if you play the blame game isn’t it particular that the white woman who works is the one who gets blamed while the white man who actually has all the power gets a pass?

But I find something else interesting about Lilly: What defines her villainy – what shows her disregard for the White House and for America: She changes things. And she’s the only person in the series who at the end of the day is characterized by her willingness to radically change things even if it means destroying something, going against tradition or hurting someones feelings.  Because it’s not completely true that she just destroys stuff. She replaces it. With modern interior, with a different way to celebrate Christmas, with particular food/cooking choices, conscious gardening – Lilly Schumacher primary characteristic is that she plans to destroy the white house and remake it in her image. The only other character who changed something was Jasmine the new house usher and even she had to defend herself for redesigning a space were she would work in. The series is deeply resentful of the people who change traditions. It’s all about the lack of respect for the old ways. And Lilly Schumacher is a symbol of that.

And here I am back at my first statement: if the evil is the change itself and not what kind of change you are going to bring than everyone who criticizes the old ways must seem the same to you. The radical left and the radical right agree on one thing IMO: a willingness to destroy the old to build something new. Things can’t stay the way they are. They have to change. That’s why they are both hated by the true conservatives: because the true conservative says: things are fine the way they are. Can’t you see the sacrifices people have to make to keep things running. Can’t you see the beauty in traditions and in the stuff that’s been build. (Can’t you see the ginger bread house?) Why are you disrespecting a system that’s meant to keep everyone save. And while the right is willing to lie and pretend that they just want to put things back to the ways they were and undo all the evil changes the left made  – they are as willing to change shit as the left. And once a true conservative notices that, they are the same to him. Because the evil isn’t the stuff that supposed to be achieved. The evil is in the change itself.

And one last thought: at least the AfD in Germany manages to promise both at the same time and that’s the reason why they are so successful. They say: things have to change that’s correct. But we are not doing something new. We change them back to the way thing were before the crazy people with their climate and their gender and their strangeness took over. You don’t have to change. We are just gonna remove the bad people and everything will be alright. And that’s far more attractive than: The way we ran things was bad. Our wealth is build on inequality and injustice. We all have to change – yes you too!

[cyberdull]

NANA (live action) review pt. 1

Years ago, I watched the anime NANA, and it instantly became one of my all-time favorites. The series stood out for its incredibly well-written, relatable characters, capturing the struggles and dreams of young adults like myself. Beyond that, the characters' alternative fashion and cool, edgy style really resonated with me. And the music? Absolutely perfect. It tied everything together so beautifully.

After discovering there was a live-action adaptation, I avoided watching it for a long time. I assumed it wouldn’t meet my expectations. How could a movie capture the depth and nuance of the anime, especially with its limited runtime? But last week, curiosity finally got the better of me, and I decided to give it a shot.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as I feared. While it didn’t quite reach the level of the anime, it had its own charm. I did find some of the casting choices questionable, and overall, the pacing made it feel a bit bland and boring at times. Still, the essence of NANA, its vibes and core themes, shone through. Nana and Hachi were portrayed well, which helped preserve the emotional heart of the story.

One standout was Anna Tsuchiya’s voice. She delivered an incredible performance, as expected. Despite its flaws, the movie was bearable and enjoyable enough for a fan like me.

I’d rate it a solid 3/5

[berrytheicecream]

the voice acting in the alternates series like. actually fire. Especially Travis’s VA (Pat) like oh my gosh I was not expecting all that emotion from this series specifically. this mini-series in general is pretty good, I had a lot of fun watching it.

I wouldn’t consider it a masterpiece or anything, nor is it jess’s best work (I mean, the whole concept of alternates, the main element of the mini series, wasn’t even an original idea) but it’s still a really enjoyable watch if you’re an older fan and want to go back to the channel’s old style of storytelling. If you haven’t already, I would give this series a try, especially since it’s so short. So I wanna yap about it because it’s all I’ve been thinking abt lately

(spoilers after this)

I especially enjoyed Travis & Aphmau’s friendship here, I wasn’t expecting it to last all the way until the end, especially since Travis hadn’t been a main character in Aph’s channel for a while, but they worked together rlly well. And the end was actually pretty bittersweet (until the cliffhanger thing, we don’t talk abt that though my god let them have a day of peace) since they got to talk about their perspective on what had just happened and they’re clearly helping each other heal from all the loss. I think it was done really well.

Also near the end, the unpredictability was actually kinda impressive. Like the first few episodes I could predict what would happen pretty easily, like the plot twists weren’t all that surprising. But like around episode 3 like I had NO idea what would happen and was constantly questioning myself and honestly that’s very enjoyable.

There was even a moment in episode 5 with the cutscenes—aka where Travis was attacking the Pierce spider—that subverted the expectations that the viewer had. Every cutscene animated in that style up until that point had either been a death or some character getting injured, so I was so upset because I thought Travis would die. And he didn’t. That was SUCH a good twist from the norm and actually caught me offguard.

Also this unpredictability not only applies with the story, but also the deaths. I genuinely didn’t feel as if any of them had plot armor by the third episode, I was terrified that they would die. Like especially since the “minor” characters were literally outliving the main ones, aka the ones we see almost every day in aphmau’s channel. What do you mean IVY survived longer than ZANE, I didn’t expect them to do that and honestly. I loved it.

And my god the travelyn in this series was peak (idk if that’s the right spelling for the ship name I haven’t been in this fandom for years guys forgive me) this series has legitimately made me enjoy travelyn more. Since I’m only reentering the fandom, I remember as a kid I didn’t care as much about it, but here it’s kind of a main focus here and it was really good. They genuinely cared SO much about each other and were so devastated by the possibility of the other being hurt or dead—especially Travis.

Small thing too but the story itself feels simple but not clear enough to really satisfy the viewer—which I think is fine! It left me wondering what everything even meant by the end of it. In a way, it felt like we have every piece of the puzzle, but just don’t know how to rearrange it correctly quite yet. Theorists, do your thing lmao.

ALSO ALSO a smaller detail but I actually really enjoy the set pieces, too. I’m not sure who designed the mobs/monsters but there’s a lot of care put into them, especially the weird alternate aphmau final boss design in ep 5 like oh my god. And the buildings were made really well too, my favorites are the subway and the house beside the cornfield. The environments are pretty simple but look nice, and because of their simplicity, the alternate designs stick out a lot, which is good!

That’s basically all I can say abt this series—REALLY good. It’s nice to see Aphmau going back to her roleplays that aren’t just entirely “kid friendly,” and “scenarios.” What I mean is that I enjoy this more coherent, thought out stories instead of just “I turn into ____ for 24 hours in Minecraft” every different video. Like the story itself doesn’t need to be super dark or anything, I like the lighthearted stuff with these characters too. In fact, the alternates series was surprisingly darker and more horror filled than I had ever expected. But I wan to actively have to focus on what I’m watching to understand it. With a lot of the channel’s recent content, you can turn your brain off because there’s no real story. Even in the more lighthearted seasons of Mystreet, I still found myself actually paying attention because I was interested in the characters and their interactions and growth. The new scenario-based content had none of that. But for Alternates, like the old shows which came before it, you actually have to pay attention.

So basically, we need to make Alternates more known in the fandom I believe. I would love to read a fic or two about this mini-series. It’s kind of a hopeful gift for the older fans while we wait for season 7 of Mystreet, a way for jess to remind us that she definitely does still know how to write an interesting story. I don’t know how I’d feel about alternates continuing due to the cliffhanger (especially bc Travis would probably die considering he has one leg) but I am hoping the channel keeps going on this same road of reintroducing interesting and well written stories.

that’s it, just needed a mini yap session lawl

[blueteller]

Hi, dear cool person! Do you happen to know if all magic circles in lcf are drawn on the ground or if some types can be done in the air? Do they need a physical surface for them to work? I got a little confused by that and couldn't find an explanation yet (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

Hello, "dear cool person"! 😊 I admit, no one ever brought up that kind of question to me, and I think it's worth investigating!

First of all, to make things clear: TCF/LCF uses what we call "Soft Magic System". In other word, the rules concerning magic are vague, without much elaboration from the narrative – which I have to add, does NOT equal poor world-building.

People often toss around Fullmetal Alchemist as an example of good world-building (which everybody who knows me is probably aware, is one of my favorite series of all time), without understanding that FMA uses "Hard Magic System" as it plays a vital role in the story. How alchemy works is very important to the plot and its themes. While my inner nerd absolutely loves it, I must remind myself that it's not a required element for a story to be well crafted. There are many series which go into great detail about their magic systems, but that doesn't actually guarantee it will be successful in making the story enjoyable.

"Soft" or "Hard" magical world-building, what actually matters is how it's used.

So, in TCF we are dealing with "Soft Magic System", because how magic works is never actually important to the story itself; what the characters are doing matters far more than what exact tools and powers they're using. The "what" of their capabilities is always more emphasized over the "how".

Obviously, we know some of what magic can do, as we get many example throughout the series. We also know that there are multiple other powers in that world aside from mana-based magic. For example, regular magic can be used to create fire, cast illusions, teleport, levitate objects, and even for telepathic communication. Dead mana magic can be also used in similar ways, like casting illusions or creating light. There are also powers of Nature, Beast People abilities, Earth Abilities, Divine Powers, and quite a few of others.

But the question is about arrays specifically. Let's try to find a couple of examples to work with.

We know that circles CAN be drawn, at the very least. The earliest instance of an array being used was way back during the Plaza Terror Incident, when blood-crazy mage Redika tore up a teleportation scroll to escape the plaza. So we see that certain spells can be pre-made and are one-use only, which makes sense. Not everyone seems capable of teleportation, especially long-distance. Remember, Dragons are super rare and the fact that Cale has basically unlimited access to instant teleportation through Raon is basically cheating lol. I assume it's both difficult and expensive to create even a single scroll like that. It requires lots of effort and preparation, not to mention it's set for a given location – the word "coordinates" is often dropped throughout the story.

We also know that circles can be created through magic in an instance, as that's basically what Raon and Eruhaben do every time they teleport. But once again, they're Dragons, so I assume you have to be Arch Mage level to do that type of stuff without literally drawing the array. Definitely not something Redika was capable of. I also suspect Rosalyn could do that, but that's because she's a rare talent of her own – not to mention how Eruhaben taught her on top of it.

I struggle to find any example of array-based magic that ISN'T about teleportation, however. Perhaps all arrays ARE meant exclusively for transportation in TCF? Feel free to correct me if you find any evidence to the contrary. Another example that comes to my mind is when they were teleporting the Castle of Light, later re-named Black Castle, into the Forest of Darkness. We know it required a huge amount of power, which was why Eruhaben asked Cale for magic stones. We didn't actually SEE them cast the array, however, so we don't know if they literally needed to draw one around the castle, or if they used their Dragon powers again to simply make it with magic.

There are several conclusions I draw from all of this.

First, most if not all examples of array-based magic in TCF are teleportation-related. So either all arrays are about teleportation, or teleportation is a very complex brand of magic (which would make sense) and arrays are exactly for that type complex magic, so they could be also used for other things.

Second, it seems that drawing arrays is a "human method", but it is unnecessary for Dragons, as they can use magical shortcuts. So naturally, I don't think they need a solid surface to work with when they're casting spells.

Third, arrays can be either instantly used and created – if you're powerful enough that is – or they can be pre-made and "loaded", then used for emergencies via deliberate disruption. I also assume you don't need to be a mage to use a teleportation scroll, if it already contains all the magic needed.

And that's basically all I have to say about magic circles in TCF! I hope this was helpful 💖

[msnanu]

Libertine 09 | JJK

Libertines put value on physical pleasures, meaning those experienced through the senses.

❧ Series Masterlist ❧

⏤summary ❧ He has a reputation for being the most promiscuous man on campus, and you, well, you are basically him in women’s pants. It will be the very first time that Jungkook is faced with someone who is gonna make him question his feelings and actions.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ f*boy jungkook x f*girl female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, smut, angst, slow burn, teasing and lots of sexual tension.

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language, NSFW🔞

❧ banner by: @dojakoo ❧

Suddenly you felt shy and flustered under his gaze, his deep voice, that low tone always made you feel things. Your heart hammered in your chest as you watched Jungkook leaning closer and closer to your face. The only thing in your mind right now is how stupidly handsome he is. How perfect that scar in his left cheek looks on him and how you could get lost in that galaxy he seems to own in his eyes.

Anyone that would pass by your side would definitely sense the lust, the yearning and the tension between the two of you. It was as if there was some kind of invisible string always pulling you closer to each other.

“That depends. If I let you in, would you fuck me properly?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up, taken aback. He should be used to your sincerity by now, but you still somehow manage to surprise him every single time. He ruffled his hair, heat rising up his neck and down his sweatpants. A dark look in his eyes that had lust written all over them.

“Haven’t I fucked you properly, Y/N? As I recall you were chanting my name over and over, both times.” He said as he ran his thumb over your lips.

You gasped and tried to maintain your composure. “You did. But you can do a lot better than that Jungkook. Don’t you think?”

Incredulous and thinking he hadn’t heard right; his eyes went wide again. You were challenging him. The wheels in his head seemed to have suddenly start to turn as he assimilated your words.

In a whisper-soft voice he continued “You really seem to enjoy provoking me.” Jungkook gave you his smuggest smile, which hit you square in the belly, sending butterflies fluttering in your lower regions and shooting tingly feelings straight between your legs.

Oh, you really want for him to fuck you so bad.

“I really do,” You stated, thrusting out your chin boldly, a tiny smile playing around your lips.

Your heart’s drum rolled a nervous beat, you felt your pulse quicken and that overwhelming brutal tingling returned with force.

Jungkook appeared to have noticed. He noticed all day how affected you were by his touch or even his words and it made every part of your constant teasing even more enjoyable. He watched you, his gaze sweeping up along your throat, lingering on your lips for an endless second, before he licked his own, tucking the bottom one, issuing a soft growl. He gave you another hungry smile that reached his eyes.

“Well, you might not be able to walk afterwards but with you I’m always down for it, baby.” Then he winked at you.

Rolling your eyes at him and laughing at his cockiness, you turned around and finally opened the door to your apartment leading your way in.

Jungkook was pleasantly surprised at the tidiness of the space. He recalled that once you’ve said that you had a roommate and living with someone else can be a little bit messy sometimes, especially when you are going through college, and you don’t have that much time to clean up. You seemed to have a large space in your two-bedroom apartment, not as big as his own but it had a nice homey vibe.

“Seems like your roommate isn’t here. Much better, we can be as loud as we want” Jungkook began as he inspected your living room.

You met his eyes, he had that look, that lust in his eyes, you could sense how much he wanted to have you right now and there, and you could also feel heat rising to your cheeks now.

“Y-yeah,” you stammered suddenly nervous again.

What the hell is he doing with you? Since when do you get nervous? Stop stammering!

Jungkook was enjoying seeing how flustered you were. What a show.

“Awww, look at you being so cute, blushing.” He stepped closer, reached out to tuck a lock behind you ear.

He then started caressing your face. You didn’t even flinch, but he could see you gulp as you said almost in a whisper, “I’m not blushing.”

Always so stubborn.

“Yes, you are, Y/N.”

He couldn’t keep up with his dominant act for too long because fucking hell, those eyes of yours made him weak. His fingers stroked the sensitive skin just below your ear lobe, where your pulse point throbbed, and you closed your eyes involuntarily. You were truly beautiful.

Your skin flawless, soft and warm, your lips perfectly shaped. Your hair amazing as always, tumbling down your back. Jungkook felt like he was the luckiest man alive at that moment.

Today you’d decided not to wear any make up. Jungkook had no idea he’d find the lack of it so attractive. It made him want to touch every inch of you, feel all of your bareness beneath his fingertips. He felt his cock stir and grow hard and fast; you were making him lose all control of himself without even touching him.

Your eyes fluttered open when you felt his thumb slightly stroking the very edge of your bottom lip, the skin so sensitive there it sent shivers down your spine. Your eyes were locked.

He reached out and with both hands simultaneously touched the soft skin of your shoulders, drank you in, slid his hands over the thin straps that held up your top, his fingers gently moving along your collarbones to meet at the notch. His eyes were feasting on you, every inch he inspected.

His gaze locked on your lips that had slightly parted, clearly begging to be kissed. Holy shit, Jungkook thought. This was a whole other level of exciting. His cock twitched. He swallowed hard once again. What had he gotten himself into? His heart hammered in his chest; his dick was throbbing in his sweatpants imploring him for release. His mind was completely blown as if it were his first time fucking you.

Slowly, trying to hide the trembling of his fingers, he began moving down to your breasts. He wanted to see them again so badly that he wanted to tear off that damn top. Easy, Jungkook, he warned himself.

His hands cupped your firm roundness. A small whimper slipped your lips, then you moaned as he pinched your nipples, hard and pointy, wanting to be freed and played with. He rolled them between his fingers through the fabric, sucked in a breath and groaned.

As your eyes met again, your head was spinning. You couldn’t wait for this hunk of a man to fuck your brains out. Tall and lean, though muscular, and strong. Those lips… they were really doing things with your mind. His bottom lip, plump and so very kissable. You could hardly contain yourself. Your heart hammered in your throat. Sparring was over.

Desperately you surged towards him, throwing your arms around his neck, pushing your hands into his hair, pulling him into you. Jungkook groaned and received you gladly, his hands moving immediately down your back grabbing onto your perfectly round butt, pushing you into him, while the other hand securely held your neck as your lips clashed and your tongues found each other, moans rising and falling.

That damn top needed to go too. He needed to see again and again what had felt so good. He slid his hands up your waist and ribcage and under that flimsy little crop top, pulled it off you, your hair releasing more of that intoxicating scent he’d noticed since he met you for the first time.

You smelled of sun kissed lavender with underlying hints of lemon, so exotic and like nothing he was used to. He needed more of this. He couldn’t believe how fucking needy he was for you. For your scent, for your lips, for your pure skin.

Breathing hard Jungkook tenderly dropped his forehead to yours, watching how your chest rose and fell, your perfect boobs finally his to take in. His pulse racing uncontrollably, his hands quivering once again as he reached to touch and massage those firm round, luscious breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers. You mewled and panted harder again, bringing your lips to his.

You were riling him up like no one before. You tasted so good, and those tiny noises you made as he roamed with his tongue all over your mouth were driving him fucking nuts. He never ever wanted to let go. Your sneaky hand moved to cup his erection, which had been so deliciously bulging and the ridge clearly visible in his sweats.

“Fuck,” he breathed as your lips pushed and pulled, your tongues playing and teasing. “Yeah, keep doing that, baby. Make it thick and hard…” He kept kissing you, moaning in between as you continued to rub his cock that was begging for release.

You smiled into his lips. “I wanna suck you off so bad.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah… You’ve got a nice big cock, Jungkook” You whispered, rubbing him harder, pecking kisses on his lips and Jungkook groaned. “I’ve been thinking about sucking you off all day long.”

“I can see that…” Jungkook panted, pushing his hand down your back into your small clothes once more, squeezing your butt. “You like a nice big cock like mine to fill you up?”

“I-I do” you whimpered.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“What else do you want, baby? Tell me”

You wrapped your arms around his neck again, pushing yourself into him, feeling his rock-hard erection pressing into your belly.

“I want your tongue all over my cunt…” You said between lusty kisses. “I’m interested in that, too.”

“Are you now?” Jungkook smiled, returning your kiss eagerly. “You want my tongue to lick you?”

“Yes…Fuck” You moaned. “Yes, I do.”

“Lick you until you cum on my tongue?”

Your breath hitched. “Yes, please”

“Good. I’ll make sure that you cum on my tongue today, baby.”

At this point you couldn’t stop kissing each other until you pulled back a little and caught his gaze; your lips were moist, dark pink, slightly parted and swollen from his delicious abuse, you gently bit your bottom lip, gave him a mischievous grin while you took off his shirt, ranking your hands all over his abs and then winked at him while you slowly slid down his body. You squadded down to his cock’s level, looked up seductively and wet your lips.

Jungkook sucked in a breath and an “Oh shit!” escaped him.

With a deep moan you slowly pulled down his sweatpants and whispered a satisfying “Fuck yes”

Stunned by your eagerness, by your obvious hunger and thirst for him, his hands flew up to the back of your head. He looked down and watched in amazement, as you took him into your hands and stroked his shaft with a tight grip; sizing him up, circling your thumb over and around the sensitive skin of his beautiful head, then smacked your lips and greedily licked the drop of precum off the tip and then finally, after what seemed an eternity of torture to Jungkook, put him in your mouth.

The moist heat surrounding his dick made his breath catch and he grunted as his hands pushed into your hair as you took him deep, nearly to the root but not completely because he was too deliciously big, you went back and forth, licking, sucking, feeding off him. Satiating your hunger for that perfect cock. He tightly gripped your hair as you moved, while his hips went along fluidly with your rhythm, savoring the tightness of your throat.

Jungkook's moans rose making you more wet by the minute, he sounded hot as fuck. He threw his head back and closed his eyes for a second. He could hardly believe what was happening to him. Fucking hell, you were sucking him off like no one else had ever done it, and what a damn joy it was to watch you while doing it too. Holy shit!

His hands holding your hair in a ponytail, his hips thrusting in sync with you, your hand grabbing his thigh so tightly, the other between his legs on his tight ass, pushing him more of him into your mouth even though you couldn’t fit anymore of his cock. You were a moaning mess with his cock filling your mouth, and the vibrations of your moans were making him stupid. He was close to cum already.

Fuck! No. No… he couldn’t allow you to do that. Not today at least. Though he wanted to. Fuck, how he wanted you to. Take his cum in your beautiful mouth, swallow it. Swallow all of his creamy seed as it would squirt down your throat, drink him up… he groaned.

Reluctantly and with the greatest of efforts, costing him all his will power, he slowed his thrusts. “Baby” he soothed, “Y/N…” and eased out of your glorious mouth.

What a fucking shame, he thought, as he stepped back trying to catch his breath. Such a fucking shame.

But you’d asked to be fucked properly. By him. Pride swelling in his chest once more as he pulled you up and into a sloppy kiss, tasting himself on you and relishing it.

Yes, he was going to give you what you’d asked for. He was a man of his word after all. Not that he’d promised anything… But he was eager as if it was his first time with you, as if it he was going to learn what your clit tasted like, what your pussy felt like.

You quickly pushed your shorts and underwear down and kicked them away. Jungkook’s sanity went out of the window as you, shamelessly naked in front of him, breathed and almost sounding like a plea finally said, “Fuck me, Jungkook.”

You turned back walking towards your bedroom as Jungkook followed you behind and planted kisses all over your shoulder and neck.

As you approached your bed you made him look at your eyes while saying “I need you… to fuck me, now.”

Well, fuck, Jungkook thought. That’d also never happened before with other girls. You literally ordered him. And he fucking loved it! Sure, he enjoyed sex with the others, they got him off well enough. But this here was an altogether different experience.

The others never voiced their needs or wants. They let him take what he needed and allocated what he thought they’d like. It never felt equal. Satisfying, yes. Equal, no. And you being so bossy was making his cock twitch.

“Yes, ma’am!” Jungkook did a mock salute and you both started giggling like idiots.

You swiftly closed the distance between you two and push him into your bed while he also pulled you on top of him. You shrieked but quickly recovered, pushing up onto your hands, straddling him.

“Wait! Condom?”

Jungkook hadn’t even realized that he was about to fuck you raw until you voiced it out.

“Fuck. I didn’t bring any here with me.”

He saw you hesitate for a second before you spoke again.

“Well, I'm on the pills and I'm clean. Are you?”

“Yeah, I'm clean too.”

“Okay, then fuck me already.”

Jungkook had never seen anything more beautiful than this gorgeous bundle of enthusiasm, confidence and lust sitting on top of him, now lifting your bum to reposition yourself. Your hair brushing your nipples, perfect little rose-colored buds they were, standing stiffly to attention; your lips slightly parted with small noises issuing. He could feel your heat and wetness on his lower belly.

You were so wet for him, so ready to take what you asked for. It made his heart hammer even harder in anticipation thinking that he was gonna finally fuck you raw and he felt his cock twitch as you shifted backwards, looked down and reached between your legs to guide him in.

Jungkook watched with growing need, needing to shove himself deep into your slick warmth, his patience dwindling, his breaths growing ragged.

“Put it in,” he huffed and shimmied towards your opening.

A fit of giggles came out of your menacing mouth. You were such a tease.

“You want this, don’t you Jungkook?” You freaking smiled, then touched his tip with your wetness and shrieked in surprise as Jungkook immediately thrust his hips up.

“Fucking yes!” Jungkook snarled, his hands grabbing your hips pushing you into him and you throwing your head back taking his rams willingly, needily, your boobs bouncing as he kept pounding upwards into you.

Moaning loudly, you let him take the lead, rigidly kneeling above him to take his assault on your sex, soaking up the pleasure he was giving you like water on hot desert rocks. You loved that feeling of his cock sliding in and out of you, couldn’t get enough of him hitting you so perfectly, finding that spot that would grant you that much needed climax.

You could feel it build up, needing to chase that tingly feeling deep inside. You lowered yourself down onto him, feeling him deep within you and began moving your hips frantically, back and forth, pushing your clit into his lubricious groin, rubbing yourself against him with such need, that it only took you a few seconds to be so close you thought you were about to burst. Your breaths grew ragged and high-pitched as you chased to catch your release.

Jungkook could feel your muscles tense, clenching around him, “Come on baby, cum for me,” he panted. “Cum on my dick”

His hands on your hips, he helped slide you against him, watching your sex move against his, urging you on, then your breath caught, your lean body shuddering, falling apart in his hands, whimpering and slowing your moves, pushing hard onto him, trying desperately to prolong the exquisite feeling between your legs.

“Good girl, Y/N,” Jungkook whispered as his hands moved behind you, held your bum and quickly flipped you onto your back.

You again screamed in surprise, but happily received this new position, his hands all over you now, his lips kissing every inch of your bare skin, ravenously moaning, whispering tiny curses, biting, nibbling, pinching your nipples and massaging your breast until you writhed underneath him, then finding his way up to your earlobe, breathing “There’s more where that came from.”

“Yes, please, yes. Keep fucking me,” you wailed and tilted your hips up, trying to find his cock once more.

“Fuck. I love how you’re always so wet for me, Y/N” he groaned, reached for himself between your legs, slid the bulging head carefully up and down your juicy dripping pussy, then eased in and let you have it. He rose to his knees, his hand around the base of your throat, his thrusts hard and fast, panting, sweat dripping on his tight abs.

Your heart hammered a most delicious beat, loving every second of it. This was exactly what you had asked for, what you had wanted, needed. Jungkook seemed to know all your spots and tended to them expertly.

Here now, in this moment with him, you didn’t even care that your walls were thin as hell and your neighbors might hear you, as a matter of fact, you relished in it.

Jungkook felt your tightness close in on him, he wouldn’t last much longer. Your pussy being so seductively sweet and juicy, your vigor so alluring, threatening to take him sooner than he liked. He wanted this to last for so much longer. Especially now that you were pulling him down to him, your lips finding his again, pushing and pulling, breathing life into him.

Then suddenly you gasped, your legs spreading even further for him, pushing yourself against him, he knew you were going to cum again.

His heart skipped a beat, this was his chance. He had wanted you to cum on his tongue, he had promised you that. So, he slowed, pulled out, leaving you exasperated “No! Don’t stop!!”

But he got to his knees in front of your bed, pulled you to the edge, buried his face in your pussy and you shrieked once again in surprise.

“Oh fuck!” you moaned, and your hands grabbed his hair, pushing him into you as he lapped your mingled moisture on your folds, pushed his tongue into the hot opening of your pussy, then circled your clit, lapped at it like a cat greedy for the last drop of milk.

“Yes, Jungkook! Oh, fuck yes!!!” You shrieked as your shoulder lifted off the mattress, your abs crunching, pushing his face hard into you.

“Jungkook!!” you panted as you shattered beneath his tongue, throbbing, climaxing hard and your legs quivering; Jungkook’s heart gave a fantastic start at you calling out his name so very loudly for everyone to hear. He could cum just by hearing you moaning his name.

As soon as you relaxed your grip on his hair, he flipped you over once more, forcefully pushed your legs apart with his knees, then grabbed your wrists and brought them together behind your back, restraining you.

Holding your wrists with one hand, while the other held a firm grip on your shoulder, Jungkook fucked you hard and within a few thrusts, he felt his own release edging closer. While you cried and moaned with pleasure, Jungkook’s insights turned to fire, pooling at the base of his cock, bubbling underneath the surface to be soon released.

Growing pressure built in his groin, he would burst. Tightness grabbed his hips as he thrusted, sliding in and out, you compressing around him so deliciously, hot and slick. He groaned, the pressure consuming his crotch as he grounded into you deep, so very deep, your mewls music to his ears.

It was building again, you could feel the flame of desire in your belly creeping up your spin, lighting your skin on fire as it went, stealing the breath from your lungs. His cockhead was battering against your g-spot, causing the corners of your vision to go white. Jungkook had been close to cum for a while now, but he needed to make you come undone in a particular manner before he could truly be satisfied with himself.

No man had ever fucked you like this before. The pleasure you were feeling was extreme.

It felt like a star exploding inside you when it started. There was a warmth deep in your bones, spreading out through every vein of your body and fluttering up through your skin. Your cunt spasmed around him, gripping him so tight his hips slowed so that he could savor every ridge of your cunt and commit it to memory.

He gave you two more solid strokes to your sweet spot before stilling completely, he lifted his hips as he settled himself in you, knocking his cock head into your g-spot and keeping it there. With that you were crying out as you begin to gush around his cock, squirting all over it. Slick spurted forth and coated the hairs growing at the base of his cock, mixing with the sweat already dripping down his body.

Seeing you squirting all over his cock was the final straw that broke the camel’s back.

Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut. He tightened his grip on your wrists and shoulder to keep you from moving away, so he could push all of himself into you, every last inch buried deep in your glorious pussy. He felt his cock grow to its ultimate size and with one more thrust he exploded into you with raging force; he leaned forward, growling with every squirt, pushed into you tightly, held on for dear life, every muscle tense, his teeth biting down on the perfectly sweet and salty skin of your shoulder blade.

He shuddered and as the last wave of orgasmic rivulets ebbed away, Jungkook loosened his hold of your wrists. You moved your arms to the front to push yourself up on them and looked over your shoulder to watch him. Spent, he relaxed his bite on you, his forehead still between your shoulder blades, kissing your moist skin as he tried to slow his breathing.

“Fuck. That was so...” You managed to say, fluffing your hair a moment later, as he pulled out.

You couldn’t even finish your phrase, but Jungkook knew exactly what you were thinking. Amazing.

“Yeah, I know, it really was.” He said trying to catch some air.

Both of your thighs were trembling, finally giving in to fatigue as you collapsed into one another. Once you did, Jungkook didn’t waste any time kissing your lips once again, as if his life depended on it.

He was fucking enchanted with you. Every time you had sex, every time you talked, every time he saw you, he’d end up with overwhelming feelings that flooded his mind, confusing him more and more. He blew away those thoughts this time, trying to enjoy the moment, trying to enjoy having you in his arms.

Limbs entwined; you laid there for a while. A whine leaked out when your lips finally parted making him smile, but you were grateful to be able to breathe more freely. Jungkook kept pressing kisses along the curve of your neck in between breathes.

It would be best to stretch out your muscles after such strenuous activities, but you’re not ready to move just yet.

“We should take a shower.”

“Mmhmm”

The mumbling coming out of Jungkook who had his face against the crook of your neck made you giggle. “Are you falling sleep, Jungkook?”

“Just a little nap, please.”

“Okay, a few minutes of nap and we’ll shower afterwards.”

Truth to be told, you wanted to take a nap too. You were almost certain that your legs didn’t work anymore, and your eyes were begging to have some rest. It didn’t take more than a minute before you both were peacefully asleep.

A few minutes turned into hours of sleeping holding each other. You were the first one to open your eyes and you couldn’t help to smile seeing Jungkook by your side with his arm around your waist, holding you as if you were going to escape or something. He had the cutest pout in his mouth as he slept safe and sound. That really made you want to kiss the fuck out of him.

Wait. Since when you think Jungkook is cute? - you thought before Jungkook’s low voice woke you up of your overthinking trance.

“Are you one of those creepy people that like to watch others sleep?”

You giggled.

“No, it’s just that you looked too innocent and peaceful. Nothing like the real Jungkook”

“Screw you” he said laughing as he rubbed his eyes and stretched himself in bed.

“Well, already did that earlier.”

“Oh yes I did, and we can repeat that now that I’m fully recharged.” He smiled as he started kissing your neck slowly. It was incredible how a few kisses were enough to start a fire between your legs. He was addictive.

“J-Jungkook.” You pleaded with a shaky voice, and you don’t know where you got the strength, but you stopped him as he whined like a baby. “C-come on, we should take a shower and I should change these sheets too. We’re both sticky.”

“Okay, but I don’t have any clothes to wear.” He said as he sat against your bed frame. “Oh! Unless you want me to be naked, I don’t mind.” He joked and winked at you.

Rolling your eyes at him and trying to avoid taking one minimal look at his sculpted body, -because you knew you were going to lose it - you stated, “I might actually have something in my closet for you to wear.”

“Don’t tell me it’s one of your ex’s clothes.”

Scrunching your nose as if he’d said the most disgusting thing in the world. “God, no. It’s my best friends clothes, he stayed here a few weeks last summer because he was renovating his apartment and left some clothes behind. I always forget to give it back to him.”

“Best friend, huh?” He lifted your face, making you look him straight to those beautiful doe eyes. God, how difficult it was to be around him. He was making you feel things in your tummy and a little more south too.

You tried to maintain your composure without showing any reaction as you explained how you met Hobi.

“Yes, Hobi and I…we met through Jihyo, they share the same classes and we’ve been buddies for years.”

“And have you ever two….?” Jungkook asked, seeing you smiling.

Is he jealous of Hobi? He cannot be real. This was beyond funny for you.

“Had sex? No, never. He is like a brother to me; we don’t see each other that way.”

He must be blind- or gay-, Jungkook thought. Is not possible to be around you and not seeing you in that way. You’re mesmerizing. He didn’t know why but he felt relief when you said that you didn’t sleep with your best friend.

“Good.”

“Good?” That took a proper laugh of you. “Okay mister, enough with the interrogation, I really need to clean myself.”

He groaned as he watched you getting up while putting a silk robe you had on the side of your bed and went straight to your bathroom.

You’d turned on the shower as he followed you in, and let the hot water run over your bodies for a few minutes as both of you cleaned up each other.

Being right next to Jungkook when he is all wet, naked and cleaning himself is not good for your health. You were already losing it when you were in bed earlier, you wanted to kiss him and ride him until you couldn’t move anymore.

You definitely didn’t have any more strength to hold on when you finished cleaning your body and shoved Jungkook against the shower wall as he gave you a smirk and stepped in, letting him encircle you with his arms, feeling his hands drop to your butt.

You moaned as he squeezed, going a bit rough, but as close as you were, you could feel his dick squashed in between you two, twitching against your lower belly.

You were insatiable, you couldn’t get enough of him, and the good thing was that he felt exactly the same about you.

Jungkook kissed you, pressing his mouth against yours, slipping his tongue into your mouth, where it danced with yours, and his hands continued to massage your ass. Then you pulled away.

You grinned and dropped to your knees, and you wrapped both of your hands around his cock in front of you. Jungkook moaned loudly, closing his eyes and leaning back, when he felt your hands disappear, and then a warm, wet sensation as you slid his cock into your mouth.

You took as much as you could into your mouth, letting your tongue roll around it, before you started to bob your head back and forward. Jungkook let his hands entwine through your hair as you sucked hard.

He felt your hands come back up, one reaching around to grab his ass, while the other massaged his balls. Jungkook looked down and saw your eyes staring up at his face as you let his dick go with a loud pop.

You smirked up at him and gave the tip of his dick a little kiss before standing up.

This must be heaven, he thought.

"My turn," you said in a sultry voice, putting your hands on Jungkook's shoulders and swapping places with him so that you could be now the one leaning against the wall.

Jungkook smirked and kissed your mouth again, pushing you harder against the wall. He then let one of his hands slide slowly down your body until reaching your pussy. You shuddered and spread your legs as Jungkook's fingers rubbed against you, alternating between the clit and teasing at the entrance.

Just as his middle finger slipped inside, his tongue also pressed into your mouth. Your tongues fought each other, until Jungkook surprised you by putting in another finger.

You gasped into his mouth, and he pulled away with a smirk. Your hands, which had been against the wall, came down to Jungkook's hair, and pushed him down. Jungkook laughed a bit and let you push him to your boobs.

He kissed in between them first, going down the middle, before slowly moving kisses towards a side. He kissed slowly and circled the stiff nipple that you had tried to push his head towards, but the teasing, and the hand between your legs, meant that you didn't put too much effort into it.

Jungkook's head then pulled away, and you growled at him, before he went for the other side, going straight for the nipple. You gasped again as Jungkook sucked hard, letting it slide from his mouth, before rolling his tongue around it. He bit gently, just grazing his teeth against it, making you squirm a bit more.

He let your breasts go, and started to trail kisses even further downward, down your chest, then dropping to his knees, and across your belly, before arriving at your folds. You spread your legs a bit more for him and looked down to watch his tongue press against your clit.

You closed your eyes at the pleasure, leaning back as he had done, and let him kiss and suck at your clit.

“Fuck. You’re so so good.”

“Yeah, baby? Show me how good, be a good girl and cum all over my tongue.”

Fucking hell. He was going to kill you and your pussy with his dirty talk.

Jungkook pulled his fingers out of your pussy and let his tongue push inside you. It didn't go in much, but you did feel the pressure, and squeezed his hair.

Jungkook continued to lick, and you felt yourself going closer and closer to your orgasm. Then he sucked at your clit, and thrusted three fingers inside you, curling them upwards, and you lost it. He took out of you the most pornographic moan, your fingers pulled at his hair, and your thighs almost clamped together as you let your body win.

When it died down, you let your thighs unclench, and Jungkook pulled his fingers and tongue away. He stood up and kissed you slowly.

“It drives me insane how good you taste, Y/N.”

You looked at him in awe and grabbed his face kissing him harder, letting him feel what you wanted. You pulled your mouth away, kissing along his jaw, until you got to his ear.

"Fuck me," you whispered. Jungkook grinned, and you felt the shower water start pressing against your ass, letting you lean back a little more, and spread your legs much wider. Jungkook grabbed his dick and rubbed the tip of it against your folds for a second before pushing it in. You both sighed in pleasure as his entire length filled you up.

He went slowly at first, letting your body adjust, but quickly began speeding up. You wrapped your legs and arms around him, pulling him deeper, and hoisting yourself up. Jungkook grunted and pressed your back against the wall as he fucked you. You let out moans and gasps and started to use your own body strength to go harder.

It didn't take long before you started to feel Jungkook's thrusts becoming more and more erratic. You moaned extra loud at the thought of being filled by his seeds again, and pulled your body harder against Jungkook's, pulling him in deeper.

You heard him gasp, and then felt his cum explode in you, felt the heat as Jungkook filled you up. He shuddered, and you let your legs drop. Jungkook's dick slipped out of you, and, with a quick kiss on his lips, you dropped down and once more returned your mouth to his cock taking him by surprise. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

You sucked and licked him up until his cock was clean extending even more his orgasm as you felt his cock twitching in your mouth, and he kept mumbling curses and gasping for air. When you finished you stood up again, showing him your tongue, proof that you swallowed it all.

You smirked seeing his big Bambi eyes widened in surprise and spoke "You know, it really drives me crazy how good you taste too.”

Jungkook was amazed, you were perfect, you were gorgeous. And you were there with him. "God. You’re so fucking hot, Y/N.”

You grinned throwing your arms around his neck as Jungkook's hands went around your ass and he smiled you back. "And who knew you could be so sexy while soaking wet, Jeon Jungkook.”

“No offense but don’t you have anything less colorful?” Jungkook said sitting on your bed wearing nothing, but a towel wrapped around his hips while observing the yellowish shirt that you pulled out from your closet. You had already changed into new fresh clothes.

“Um. No, sorry, Hobi really loves bright colors. He didn’t leave anything black or white here.” Clearly hinting at the colors that Jungkook usually likes to wear.

“It suits you though.” You say as you see Jungkook hesitating.

“You think?”

“I mean, with that face and that body you might as well use a clown’s outfit and you’ll still be the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.” You said without a filter.

He tilted his head, surprised to hear something like that coming from you as he smiled widely. “And here I was, thinking you were incapable of giving someone a compliment.”

“That's because you have a prejudiced mind.” You bit your lip laughing. “I can give a compliment anytime I want, sweetie. I just thoroughly choose who deserves to hear it.”

“So, that means you think I deserve to hear it?” He finally put the shirt on and came closer to where you were standing next to your closet with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Well, you’ve been a good boy today. You gave me a fair number of orgasms. I think this time you really deserve it.”

“I can give you more of those today.” He said as he put his arms around your waist and caressed your face. You automatically closed your eyes enjoying his touch.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Jeon Jungkook.”

As you opened your eyes again, you saw something in his eyes. Something that made your heart skip a beat. He was looking at you with such intensity, with a longing that even seemed like love. You felt nervous at the thought of it and quickly tried to brush away whatever you were feeling.

“W-we should eat something. I’m starving”

Not saying anything else, you freed yourself from his hold and turned to your kitchen to see if there was something left in your pantry that you could use to cook something for you both.

You heard Jungkook steps behind you. As you were looking something to cook, he sat in a stool next to your kitchen island.

“So, when is your roommate coming?” He asked with curiosity. Hours had passed by, and you were still all alone. Not that he didn’t enjoy it, not at all. In any case, it was better, you could enjoy yourselves without thinking about someone else being there.

“Oh yeah, about that, I'm living on my own now. My roommate moved out this past weekend.”

“Really? Did something happen between you two?”

“No, not at all. She was cool, but she already spent most of her time with her boyfriend and barely stayed here so she decided to move to his apartment. It made a lot more sense” You explained as you grabbed a box of Italian pasta from the pantry. “You like pasta? I can make some for us.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Later he slurped two plates of pasta as you watched him fondly and giggled, whoever heard the sounds coming out of him right now would think anything but he’s eating. “You always moan when you eat?”

“When it tastes this good, yes.” He simply said shrugging.

Afterwards he fought with you over who was going to wash the dishes – he wanted to do it, but you were refusing – PS: he won.

“You’re really good cooking” said Jungkook as he finished cleaning the dirty dishes.

You scoffed. “Why the tone of surprise? Didn’t think I was able to cook?”

Jungkook laughed along with you. He couldn’t stop thinking how much he was enjoying being here with you. Today he felt like this was the genuine Y/N. The one that just your close ones would be able to enjoy. A nice, beautiful and cool girl that could have the most enjoyable conversations.

You continued to talk for a while and then ended up watching TV in your sofa, both sprawled, your head laying in his chest as his arms surrounded your body. He couldn’t remember the last time he had spent this much time with the same girl and smiling at the same time. Maybe this never had happened him before.

Jungkook was slowly realizing that his dad was probably going to be waiting for him at his place, at least for a few more hours, just as he had said before when you left the restaurant with him. He really didn’t want to deal with his father again today.

After having such an amazing time with you, it didn’t feel right to go back to his home and listen the same old preach about being more serious with college, that his father was paying for. Jungkook wasn’t even studying something that he had choose to.

You lifted your head sensing that something was bothering him. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just that my father must be waiting for me at my place at least until night, and I really don’t want to deal with him today.”

You don’t blame him honestly; you wouldn’t want to go back to your home and deal with someone like his father either.

“Then don’t. You don’t have to deal with him today if you don’t feel like doing it.”

Seeing Jungkook’s face was enough to know that he was still overthinking about his father and how suffocating it was to even have a conversation with him.

“Let’s go.” You said as you got up and grabbed his hand.

That phrase of yours made him stop overthinking instantly as he furrowed his eyebrows. “Where?”

“To my spot.”

“I didn’t even know this place existed.” Jungkook said as he enjoyed the most beautiful view of the city. “I mean, I came to Namsan Tower a few times before, but I never knew about this garden right next to it.”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I always come here when I need time to sort my thoughts. It’s always so quiet and you still have amazing views.” You said with a smile plastered on your face. You loved this place. Whenever you had too much in your mind, it will always bring peace to you.

A few seconds of silence followed your words. Both of you sitting on a rock, surrounded by the botanical garden watching the amazing lights of Seoul that brighten up the sky when you suddenly decided to break the silence.

“I’m sorry that I lied to you.” His eyebrows furrowing when you looked at him, he clearly didn’t know what you were talking about. And he was even more surprised that you were apologizing to him. “About my dad.” You sucked in breath and took a second before saying “I lied to your dad too, you know.”

Okay, now he was lost. You didn’t say to him that your dad was dead, but you did tell it to his father. What were you lying about then?

“My father is alive.” His eyes widened but not fully understanding where the hell are you going with this. You understood his confusion, so you continued to explain yourself.

“He left my mom when he found out she was pregnant with me. They were really young; they were dating while still in college. He said he didn’t want a child at that moment. My father’s family is a very wealthy family and being part of the high society, they had huge expectations for him. His son had to finish his studies, get married and then have children. It couldn’t be any other way; it would be a disgrace for them if it did.”

Jungkook was soon regretting the way he felt when he heard that your dad was dead, and that you choose not to tell him. He didn't think that the background story could be this deep.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He didn’t know what else to say. What do you say in this type of situations? You finally were opening up to him, and he had no words.

“Don’t be. It’s better off this way honestly.”

“Do you actually know who your dad is?”

“I do; yes.” You nodded as you kept your eyes in the sky above you. “My mom was always straight forward with me about it. She told me the truth about my dad when I was a kid, she never lied about who he was and what happened. But his family made her suffer a lot, they even offered her money to make sure she wouldn't contact them again. Of course, she didn’t accept it. Mom always told me that if I wanted to know anything about my dad, that I should just ask her. She made it very clear that she didn’t want for me to try to reconnect with him or his family.”

“But you did try.”

You nodded again. “Yes, years ago, right before moving to Seoul. I had the stupid hope that maybe after all these years my father would somehow regret his decisions back then.”

“What happened then?”

“I showed up at his office, said my name to his secretary, I knew he was gonna know who I was. He is the CEO of a big publicity company back home, it’s my grandfather’s company.”

Jungkook nodded as he listened attentively.

“He told me that if I ever showed up my face again there, he would find the way to sue me and my mom for harassment and make sure to take everything away from us. That he made very clear to my mother that he didn’t want anything to do with us.” You took a breath and almost chocked with your next words. “A-and that he even told her that he wanted her to abort. That last part was the only thing that my mom never told me. That's when I completely understood why she didn't want me to contact my father, she was just protecting me.”

And Jungkook thought his father was the worst. What a turn of events.

“That’s so fucked up, Y/N. How could someone be like that with his own daughter? What an asshole.”

You huffed. “Well, he doesn’t consider me as his daughter. Funny thing tho, when I went to see him, I saw a portrait on his desk of his real ‘family’. His wife and two kids. He has a daughter and a son.”

Jungkook felt so bad for you. How could it be possible for someone to reject his own blood? And just to maintain a certain social status. So fucked up.

“Listen, I’m not used to tell anyone about this because it’s just so fucking pathetic and embarrassing. Only Jihyo, Joy and Hobi and well, now you, know about it.” You said looking at him. The sadness in your eyes made Jungkook feel a lump in his throat.

“That’s why I lied to you and your dad. Every time someone asks me directly about my father, it’s always easier to say that he is dead. Which he is, at least for me. So, I’m sorry for lying to you about it.”

At this point, he just wanted to hug you and not letting you go. He now understood why you had always that defensive attitude. Not only your dad abandoned you and your mom, but he’d also threaten to sue you if you ever reached out to him again. The pain you must’ve felt was unimaginable.

He wrapped his arms around your shoulders pulling you closer to him as he planted a kiss in your forehead. “You don’t have to be sorry, it’s okay. And you shouldn’t be the one to feel embarrassed. The only one who’s pathetic and embarrassing is your father.”

 “You’re right about that.” You said as you were resting your head in his shoulders with a little smile on your lips.

“Hey” He said softly as he looked at you. You turned your head up to look at him too. “If you ever need someone to talk, you know you can count on me Y/N.”

Your heart was pounding so hard. Your hand reached out to his face, caressing it with so much tenderness “I know. Same goes to you.”

He smiled at you and grabbed you by the chin connecting his lips against yours. He had never felt this close to anyone, ever.

Jungkook never was one to believe in silly things like karma. "What goes around comes around." Or destiny. If things like that were real, the world wouldn't be such a terrible place where bastard CEOs made billions and destroyed those beneath them then got to lounge by pools with billions of dollars.

He'd adopted a mindset of "don't hate the player, hate the game." He was never deliberately an asshole. Not once did he ever sweet talk a girl promising her a relationship and eternal love only to dump her as soon as he got laid.

Granted, some people may call him an asshole for getting women into bed then never talking to them again. But really, that wasn't his problem. If the girls wanted to get their feelings hurt over some dick, that was on them.

He didn't really believe in love.

At least, he hadn't before.

It was weird. Usually, he was ready to move on to the next woman as soon as he'd gotten laid, but Jungkook just wanted to see you again. Fuck you again. Pull you close underneath the sheets and enjoy the warmth that you radiated. Have you kiss his cheeks, his lips, his temples, his body.

He was so bad at feelings. Was it fear or was it pride? Was he ashamed of the fact he was scared of the new feelings he was experiencing? Either way, he didn’t know how to handle it. He didn’t want to admit that there was more to it than just the best fuck of his life.

Jungkook had been avoiding you for quite a while now; well, you hadn’t talk since he left you in your apartment that night after going to Namsan Tower. That was only two days ago, and he knew you were swamped with college stuff so maybe you didn’t even realize about his sudden lack of communication.

He wasn’t sure exactly why he was avoiding you; it wasn’t like you had done anything wrong, it was as if something was mentally blocking him after getting so close to you, it was too close for him. He wanted to go over to you and talk to you, tell you why he had been avoiding you but he couldn’t.

He spent these last few nights thinking and thinking before shutting off. He is not someone that could make people stay. Numerous girls had explicitly said that. The notion of ever finding love with his kind of personality? The possibility is probably zero.

It wasn’t complete rocket science that he held you in high remark, he admired you sure but love? He wasn’t fully sure; he was in denial. But how does someone even know they love someone? 

Maybe he was spending too much time with you. Since you’ve started sleeping together, he unconsciously stopped sleeping with other girls. Maybe that was the issue, he needed to sleep with someone else and maybe all those intrusive thoughts would disappear.

Jungkook being Jungkook decided to deal with it the best way he knew how. He didn’t want to be an asshole, but he was about to be one.

It was easier to fuck another girl than deal with his feelings about you. So, he grabbed his phone and called the first one of the many girls that had sent him a message to hook up in these past few days.

Something felt wrong, but he did it anyways.

He needed to take you out of his mind for a while. Or at least he had to confirm if maybe these new feelings he was developing were just a product of you two spending too much time together.

What a fucking day. Your Philosophy essay didn’t go as expected. You had worked so hard and yet you failed.

"I'd like to talk to you after class, Ms.Y/L/N" Professor Baekhyun said to you as he slid your essay onto the table in front of you, you gulped seeing the big red F in the corner, the third one that month. All semester you've been failing his class getting more depressed with every sad glance he threw your way; every paper had that big red F in the corner, and you had just given up before he approached you.

You couldn’t even understand what was wrong with your essays at this point. You started to think the professor had some kind of grudge against you. Even if he didn’t have any reason to in the first place.

After class, you headed to his office steeling yourself for whatever he might say to you knowing it would be anything but good news. You stepped into the room seeing your professor sitting behind his desk, he gestured for you to sit in the seat in front of him.

"I'm guessing you know why you're here." You nodded gripping the hem of your skirt and looking down. You heard your professor sigh as he typed something on his computer.

"Well, the problem we have here is that you currently have a D- in my class and you need at least a D+ to pass, but I have some extra credit you could do for me." You looked up with hope in your eyes only to see your professor gazing at you with a dark look in his eyes.

He stood behind his desk making his way over to you, stranding behind you he ran his hand over the back of your chair before spinning you around to face him.

"Would you like to do the extra credit?" He lifted your head up making you look him in the eyes. Far from freezing in your spot, you got up instantly and you made your way to the door ready to run if it was necessary.

“What the hell are you implying, Professor? This is inappropriate.”

Sadly, you had heard stories about this professor. Everyone over the campus knew he had a reputation of being a disgusting libidinous man, but for you it was just that, stories. At least until today.

He also was the son of the dean which made it almost impossible that any accusations towards him were taking seriously. You’d tried to ignore the times you caught him staring at your cleavage or the times he’d got too close of your ear to talk to you over something related to the class.

Hearing the tone that you used to respond, the professor clearly understood he wasn’t going to get anything from you. His demeanor changed within a second and he furrowed his eyebrows, acting as if he didn’t understand what all the fuss was.

“I wasn’t implying anything Ms.Y/L/N. I suggest you calm yourself or I’m afraid you won’t have any chance to pass this class.”

You motherfucking pervert, you thought. You took a deep breath, just because you knew you had to do everything in your power to pass this class and never again deal with this pervert.

“Could you please tell me what I have to do to earn the extra credits?”

“Of course, you will have to redo the last three essays that you failed. By next week.”

What a pain in the ass. But anything is better than getting stuck in his class once again.

“Will do. Thank you, Professor.” You said swallowing your pride as you opened the door and left, almost wanting to barf at the falseness of his smile. It was disgusting.

By the time you were arriving to your building entrance, you were already with a unsufferable headache, and you were blinking away some tears. You had such a shitty day; you couldn’t believe the nerves on that pervert, and you were angry thinking that he has done this to other girls too.  

You needed to relax, or else you were going to explode. Your mind went to straight Jungkook and his words the last time you saw each other.

“If you ever need someone to talk, you know you can count on me Y/N.”

Well, maybe you could hang out with him. You haven’t been able to have fun for the last two days since you were studying and working on your essays so hard. And it didn’t even pay off. You grabbed your phone as you sat in a bench outside your building and looked for Jungkook’s contact.

As you waited for him to pick up, you dried the tears on your face with the back of your hand, you didn’t want anyone to see you crying.

You were about to hang up when he finally picked up the call. He sounded a little bit out of air. “H-hey, Y/N. What’s up?”

“Hey, by any chance are you at your place?”

“U-uh, no. I-I’m on the campus.” More exactly, on the backseat of his car. With a girl on top of him that he doesn’t remember her name, sucking his neck, drawing hickeys all over it but he wasn’t going to tell you that. “Why? Are you okay?”

No.

“Yeah, I just- Um, I thought maybe we could hang out, but maybe I’ll better go to Jihyo’s.”

You did not sound okay. Not at all. He could sense something was troubling you.

The girl moaned loudly as she rubbed herself on Jungkook’s groin. Hopefully you didn’t hear that.

Your eyes widened as you heard what you were pretty sure it was a moaning from a girl. You felt like an idiot. You instantly regretted calling him.

“Where are you now?” Asked immediately Jungkook, putting his hand on the girl’s mouth to shut her up.

He didn’t even get a response from you, you just hung up the call. Whatever or whoever he was doing, you didn’t want to hear anything more.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This hadn’t been a good idea, thought Jungkook. It didn’t feel good either. He stopped the girl’s hands that were roaming all over his body.

“I have to go.”

The girl looked at him puzzled. “What?” She tried to rub herself again on Jungkook and kiss him, but he stopped her immediately. She tilted her head saying “Don’t you want me to suck you off? Come on, you’ll enjoy it.”

“No thank you, now please get the fuck out of my car.” He said roughly, he knew it was the only way to get this girl out of his car.

“You are such a dick.”

“Yeah, I know that.” He mumbled as the girl left and he got to the front seat of his car. He just wanted to go and look for you.

You were staring at the floor, spacing out since you hung up the call with Jungkook. No more tears streaming down your face, but the headache was growing stronger. You just wanted for this day to be over.

“Y/N?” You suddenly heard a male voice near you. You lifted your head to see who the person was talking to you.

You knew this guy. Wait, no! You slept with this guy. And of course, you forgot his name.

“Mingyu, remember?”

Ohhh! That guy!

“Yes, Mingyu! Right.” He smiled at you, and you smiled back, not as widely as him but you did smile. Gosh, you forgot he was this handsome. “Sorry, I’m not the best when it comes to remembering names.”

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t mean to intrude but are you okay?”

“Actually no. I have a massive headache that I think it might turn into a migraine any time soon. College is draining my brain.” You said with a light chuckle as he nodded and chuckled too, you not wanting to go any further with details. “What were you doing here anyways?”

“I was on my way to the coffee store; I just finished a study session with a friend of mine that lives in that grey building over there.” He said pointing at the building right next to yours.

You think you remember something that he said the night you slept together, about him knowing this area because of one of his friends. Or maybe you’re just imagining things.

You nodded and stayed in silence while rubbing your temples, the headache was slowly increasing.

“Listen, I have some Advil here if you want. I always have some with me, every time I finish with exams, I end up with huge headaches from the stress.”

“That sounds so relatable.” You say as you chuckled again. “Um, yeah, if you don’t mind, I’ll go with you to the coffee store and buy something for myself, I really don’t like to take those kinds of pills without a drink.”

“Sure.” He said as you both started walking towards the coffee store, it was a few meters away from your building.

“What do you wanna have? My treat.” Said Mingyu as he looked at you.

“Oh, no, no, I’ll pay for myself.” You refused profusely.

You really didn’t want him to pay your drink. He might get the wrong idea. Or he might end up asking you out on a date. Oh, the headache is not even letting you think straight.

“It’s not a big deal, it’s just a drink, Y/N.”

Okay. He’s just being friendly. Okay.

You nodded. “An iced americano, please.”

“Sit here” He said pointing at the bench outside the store. “You should take some fresh air. I’ll order and bring it to you.”

This is so weird. This guy was being incredibly gentle with you, especially having in consideration that you had made a false promise of calling him back that morning after you slept together. You almost felt guilty of accepting his treat. Clearly you didn’t deserve it.

You were feeling your head was about to explode, so you got up and walked to the restroom inside the coffee store to wash your face with cold water, in the hopes of feeling a little bit better.

On the way there, you saw that Mingyu was already finishing paying for your drinks so you told him to put the Advil inside your drink so it would be diluted by the time you got back from the restroom.

Ever since you were young, you hated to swallow big pills because you always got this awful feeling like they got stuck in your throat, so you’d always put them inside a drink to make it easier for you to take it.

Jungkook had arrived at your place right before you got up from the bench and watched all the sequence of you talking with Mingyu and then going to the coffee store with him.

Who the fuck is that guy? Was all he could think of. Jealousy invading every inch of his body.

He saw as you entered the coffee store, said something to this guy who seemed to be in the counter ordering – whoever he is – and then walking towards the restroom.

The guy sat in a bench outside, opened one of the lids of the drinks he was holding and dropped a pill inside of it that he had taken from his backpack.

Jungkook’s brain started to make connections. Could that be a roofie? What if the guy wanted to drug you and take advantage of you? No, it can’t be. Maybe it’s just his drink.

As soon as he saw you approaching this guy again and that he was holding for you the drink where he dropped the pill, Jungkook got out from his car. You had started to walk away with the guy towards your building entrance and you were about to have a sip of the drink in your hand when all the sudden Jungkook appeared out of nowhere, hitting your plastic cup and spilling all its contents on the floor.

Mingyu observed dumbfounded the scene unraveling in front of him.

“What the actual fuck, Jungkook?”

“I saw him putting something in your drink.” Jungkook sounded so proud of himself as if he had just saved you from a pack of lions trying to eat you.

“Yes, because I asked him to do it.”

Huh? You asked him to put a pill in your drink?

“What?” Said Jungkook almost in a whisper.

You huffed and then gave Mingyu the most apologetic look, who clearly had a question mark all over his face, “Thanks for the Advil and the drink, Mingyu. I owe you one.”

Luckily, Mingyu got the memo pretty quickly and as he took one last look between the two of you, he said “No worries. See you, Y/N.”

As soon as you saw Mingyu was already a considerable distance away and you had enough privacy to talk, you gave Jungkook an stern look as you crossed your arms in your chest. “Were you just following me?”

“No, I was-” He cut himself, frustration growing inside of him. “You didn’t sound okay when you called me, so I came to look for you.”

“Well, I’m okay as you can see, you can go back to whatever you were doing, I’m sure you were busy.”

Jungkook ignored completely the way you implied you had listened the sounds over the phone coming from the girl he was about to screw.

“Are you screwing that guy too?” 

You cackled. “Are you fucking serious right now, Jeon?”

Jeon, not Jungkook but Jeon. You were mad. And him, being petty as fuck, instead of letting the water calm, he kept pushing it.

“Is that a yes?”

“What’s it to you?”

“I’m just asking because instead of thanking me for taking care of you, you thanked him while acting like a bitch towards me.”

“Excuse me? Thanking you? I don’t need for you to take care of me, I already told you this before. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.” You said angrily.

The audacity of this man. Not even half an hour ago, you heard a girl moaning while you were talking on the phone with him, not only that but he also has his neck full of hickeys that you know they weren’t there last time you saw him, and he has the nerve to ask if you’re screwing Mingyu or not. You couldn’t take anymore the hypocrisy of his words. He was free to do whatever the fuck he wanted but so were you, so why was he interrogating you?

The next few words came out of you with too much anger. “You’re not my boyfriend Jungkook. So, stop acting like you are.”

Okay that sounded so much better in your mind. You didn’t want to sound that rough.

You saw him gasp at your words. He was about to say something but stopped himself, closed his eyes for a second and then looked at you again without any emotion on his face “Yeah, you’re right, I’m not your boyfriend.”

You didn’t mean to hurt him with your words. He was just concerned about you, and you snapped at him. But the fact that he was the one doing a scene after what you heard over the phone, was exasperating you.

You weren’t made of stone and even though you didn’t make any jealousy scene, you did feel a pang in your chest when you heard that girl over the phone. You hated that you were feeling all these kinds of things that you never felt with your other hook-ups.

You hated that this happened two days after you finally decided to open up with him. You didn’t want to, but you felt betrayed. You knew you had no right. But he was pushing your buttons, acting as if he was the one jealous when you did nothing with Mingyu. You were already too mad about what happened with your professor earlier and now this. You couldn’t take it anymore.

“Ugh, Jungkook… It wasn’t my int-” He cut you off roughly.

“Fuck off, Y/N. I don’t need this kind of bullshit; you are just a good fuck. I shouldn’t be wasting my time with you.”

Eyes widened as you saw him leave, astounded because he never treated you like this before. It crossed your mind for a split second to stop him, but the moans started replaying in your head non-stop as your headache turned finally into a migraine, it was even hard to keep your eyes opened. You just turned around towards your apartment and huffed. “Asshole.”

Prev | Next

⏤ author's note❧ Well, this chapter took longer that I thought! 😅 But as I said before, I want to give you my best, guys. This chapter is by far my favorite one yet of the series, hope that it is for you too 💜. Please, let me know what you think! Don't hesitate on leaving your feedback, reblog, send asks, whatever you'd like. 🥰

⏤ tag list❧ @chimsworldsstuff @ahgasegotarmy116 @whoa-jo @aloverga @coralmusicblaze @ericawantstoescape

[aihoshiino]

Hi, anon from the Ai and Hikaru break up ask again! I agree with everything you say and already had such an idea in mind, so I think the fault is at my side and I'm not formulating my question correctly, my apologies. I hope I'm not pestering you, but this is something that I would like to have an answer to and you still seem like the best source. So, I understand that Ai had knowledge of Hikaru's situation, but why say it out loud and not stay quiet? She hid her pregnancy from almost everyone, so why not him? From what the manga portrays, I think she cares at least a little bit about him, so why not lie? Is there a reason she didn't lie when Hikaru asked why she wanted to break up? Or why did she not avoid mentioning her pregnancy or his situation? As I think that would be more in line with Ruby's portrayal of her in chapter 146 where she said that lies would not work on Hikaru and also her general avoidance of answering certain questions. Why not break up with him without mentioning her pregnancy or Taiki or anything from that sort, as that would automatically hurt him? I think you esthablised that deliberately hurting him was not her intention and I agree, so why not avoid answering him honestly? Does this have something to do with what Akane said in chapter 28, with "secretive but had a desire for exposure"? Or is it something else I'm missing? Or are there no answers from canon? Or am I overseeing something simple? Or am I just not getting it?

There's no need to apologize, anon!! Honestly what am I here for if not to post at length about Hoshino Ai lol

and tbh, more seriously. I really don't blame anyone for being confused about the HikaAi stuff because as compelled as I am by the broad strokes of what's suggested in the text, it is ultimately a direly underwritten relationship especially in comparison for how loadbearing it is for the series. One of the things I was most excited about in the Movie Arc were those scraps of info about how things went between them - I think it did a really good job of making me believe these two characters fell in love and made me want to root for them even knowing how it all ended, which ofc makes the tragedy of it all that much more effective. The fact that the story chooses to undermine itself by definitively stating in no uncertain terms that all these sweet and enjoyable scenes that properly sell the HikaAi romance are completely made up fiction by someone who had never met either of them is… not the most baffling decision Aka makes in the Movie Arc but it sure as hell is up there.

This isn't helped by the fact that both within the fiction of 15 Year Lie and in the tiny scattering of real flashbacks to that relationship, Ai's perspective is almost entirely absent. While we do get that little snippet from the DVD, that was primarily about Ai's feelings in the wake of the breakup, reflecting on the relationship in hindsight and not really about how it felt for her in the moment or how much pressure there was on her to be Kamiki's one and only sole pillar of happiness. There's a really interesting little tidbit in Kamiki's telling of events where Ai is smiling brightly when he's looking right at her but the panels in which his attention is away from her face, she looks troubled - but without any extrapolation as to Ai's perspective or a look into how she experienced the relationship, Kamiki's perspective and what ultimately turns out to be an uncharitable characterization of Ai in relation to it is the final word that is only partially refuted by the reveal of the DVD's message.

And like, that lack of Ai's perspective is interesting in its own way, at least for how it ties into what the Movie Arc tries to touch on where no matter how hard everyone here tries to portray 'the real Ai', they have to make peace with the fact that they don't know if what they're showing to the public is truth because Ai herself is not here to make herself understood. But it doesn't really feel intentional. One of the biggest problems with 15 Year Lie as an object in the narrative is that it's a story about Ai's life that completely fails to be about her story or to engage with any of the themes present in her wider arc and this failure to consider her perspective on her most narratively weighty relationship aside from the twins speaks to that lack of consideration.

Actually, now I'm saying all this - I kind of wonder if some of the really bonkers uncharitable takes about Ai in the fandom following that reveal are because she isn't given the chance to tell her side of the story. I mentioned this in an earlier post but there were a lot of people (not so much on onkblr but defo in other parts of the fandom) who turned on Ai pretty extremely when we actually saw how the HikaAi breakup went - basically just a load of the victim-blaming misogyny and "why did this fictional character not do the emotionless logical course of action that i, the detached reader, would have logically taken? is she an evil, lying whore?" you can expect whenever a fictional teenage girl makes a social blunder. And while I don't think it would have entirely shut down that sort of backlash because this fandom is just kind is weirdly misogynistic in general sometimes, I do wonder if the story properly exploring Ai's experience of the relationship and letting her give voice more extensively to her own misgiving about the direction it took would have mitigated that sort of response.

UM. SEVEN HUNDRED WORDS AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED PROPERLY ADDRESSING YOUR QUESTION YET. GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE POSTS, HUH!!!!

Anyway to uh. finally wind my way back to a response to your actual question, I think the most straightforward way to answer this is that Ai did not lie to Hikaru about her pregnancy because she did not want to lie.

edit from future Claire: 'at length' rly wasn't a joke............. this ended up being basically an analysis of Ai's relationship to dishonesty and authenticity and the ways her relationships with people in general are affected by it, on top of the hikaai analysis

Generally speaking, one of the most important things to key into when analyzing Ai as a character is that Ai doesn't lie even half as much as you might otherwise think and the reasons that she lies are ultimately much more important than the end point of this behaviour. Ai's core motivation is, under everything else, to connect with other people and to love and be loved in an honest and authentic way. But as both an abuse victim and someone commodified into a role like an idol, she holds the belief that her true, unvarnished self is unworthy of giving and receiving love and that she must lie just to be treated with like… basic kindness on a day to day basis.

But at the end of the day, Ai's 'lie' is really just the maintaining of her public persona and a fervent protection of the boundary between her public and true selves, to the point of essentially committing to a narrative that her 'true self' does not exist. Anything that would shatter the illusion that "Ai of B-Komachi", the flawless and invincible genius idol, is her whole true self with absolutely nothing else going on in her life that could spoil the image is not just omitted but actively obfuscated, to the point that even her surname is not public knowledge. In addition, a lot of the mythology surrounding 'Ai of B-Komachi' as this unassailable, inhuman force of star power, whose every single word and breath was precision point calculated to never let any of her true feelings show is a narrative that other people made up and projected onto Ai, especially in the wake of her death. 45510 and POV B are both really great examples of how this happened within Ai's personal relationships and how each narrator's respective self-awareness of that fact impacted the way they interacted with her and how it affects their ability to engage with Ai's true self - Kyun doesn't just accept her but seems to prefer her to the inhumanly polished idol whereas Nino is so repulsed by even the slightest hint of her vulnerability that she has to permanently erase it to make sure nobody ever stumbles across it again.

An important thing to note, however, is that 'Ai Hoshino' and 'Ai of B-Komachi' are not really entirely distinct nor is the 'real Ai' really all that meaningfully different from her public persona, at least to the extent that you can consider them separate from each other. This is something Rie Takahashi (and implicitly through her, Aka Akasaka) mentions as being key in her First Report interview - that 'Ai of B-Komachi' isn't a distinct, separate self as much as she is just a different facet of Ai's authentic self that she shows depending on the situation, just as all people do.

A lot of this is also further complicated by the fact that Ai isn't just performing a public persona, she's also masking - Ai is canonically neurodivergent, with the terminology used specifically referring to developmental disorders such as autism which seems to be how Akasaka intends her to be read. The conclusion of her chapter in Spica - itself at least partially about the difficulty of navigating neurotypical society as a neurodivergent person - is about Ai learning to mask and her recognizing that while it requires some effort, performing this version of herself allows her to navigate, socially speaking, without facing anywhere near as much hostility. This speaks to what's at the core of the 'Ai of B-Komachi' performance - all Ai is really doing is performing the most socially acceptable version of herself in the hopes that other people will respond by being kind to her.

But that isn't really something Ai wants. This is where Akane's observation of Ai's 'secrecy with a desire for exposure' comes from - or, to phrase it another way, Ai's warring terror of and desire for understanding and vulnerability. Ai believes (and quite frankly, has been taught) that people will react to her unvarnished self with revulsion, rejection and sometimes even violence. This is why the 'Ai of B-Komachi' mask is necessary. But the kindness and warmth she receives as a result is not only conditional on her continuing to play that role but it's emotionally unfulfilling for her because it's plastic and shallow. It's reliant on Ai endlessly contorting herself into the shapes other people want her to make without ever being recognized as a fellow human being. This is why, as she expresses in 45510, that she wants there to be people who actually will recognize her as she is, a flawed, impure and cowardly person, and to understand and accept her all the same. We can see this in multiple times across the text, where Ai is surprisingly quick to open up and start spilling her guts out to people who seem as if they have the potential to accept her - or at least who treat her kindly enough to give her hope. She's simply that lonely and that desperate to connect with other people.

In that sense, Ai's desire to sincerely say "I love you" and know she's speaking the truth can be understood as a microcosm of her more broad wish to be able to express herself sincerely and authentically and be understood by the people around her. It is a wish, specifically, to be able to speak of her deepest and most intimate feelings, to know that she is saying them sincerely and with truth and for the person she is expressing these feelings to to accept her, even if they can't fully understand her. She wants to 'unmask' in a very real way - trusting someone enough to, as Ai herself puts it, let them see the dirty, ugly parts of herself that she otherwise has to hide for her own safety with the knowledge that they will not reject her.

So because of… ^ ALL THAT ^, when Ai is relatively secure in her relationship with someone, she's actually surprisingly frank with them. Her relationship with Miyako in ep/vol1 is a good example of this - they aren't necessarily close but Miyako is someone who is both in on the secret of Ai's motherhood and somebody who already knows how the sausage gets made in terms of the 'illusion' of Ai's public persona. As such, Ai doesn't necessarily have anything to lose by opening up to Miyako and while there's still plenty of times that she conceals the proper depths of her thoughts and feelings, she also clearly feels comfortable enough just straightforwardly expressing dismay and frustration and her insecurities to Miyako and asking her advice. Or even purposely getting on Miyako's nerves purely for the purposes of being a little gremlin, just like she does with Ichigo.

So to sum all this up, Ai is already characterized as someone who very much wants to be authentic in her relationships with other people, is dishonest not out of a desire to straightforwardly deceive others but because she has been taught that she will face active rejection and hostility if she doesn't put on a mask and who demonstrates the willingness and ability to unmask and be pretty straightforwardly honest in the context of relationships where she feels any sense of security or warmth. Put all that together and you can already see the seeds of why Ai would have not wanted to lie to Hikaru.

What further complicates this, though, is that this was not just any old relationship that Ai felt secure in but one in which disclosure and honesty were - at least hypothetically - the foundation on which it stood. When describing their relationship in 153, Hikaru says of it that "Ai accepted me and loved me" and that "We were the same. We understood each other." and frames 'supporting each other' as one of the cores of their togetherness. As established, 'understanding' and 'love' for Ai are being able to unmask and be honest, to stop telling lies and cease putting on a performance and Ai didn't stop wanting to do any of that even once they broke up.

Because even once they were no longer together, I do get the impression that Ai wanted him to be in the twins' lives. She was the one who reached out to him to come meet them in The Doomed Phonecall but it's also worth considering that Ai is the only person who could have given Hikaru the address for the hospital and her due date - and with the way Hikaru talks about that night, I think it's implicit that she contacted him and invited him to the birth. And as Ai herself says in the DVD, she wanted to have a family with him and for them to properly carry each others' burdens. Their relationship didn't end out of a lack of love, but because Ai recognized that she simply did not have the capacity to be the mom to a baby and - lbr - mom to her boyfriend, too.

Also something I think shouldn't go unsaid - if some of Ai's decisions regarding her pregnancy seem illogical and erratic, they almost certainly were! She was a teenage girl suddenly and unexpectedly pregnant which would be bad enough without her also being in a social role that requires her to perform virginal purity day in, day out. She was almost certainly not making clearminded or logical decisions because she was simply emotionally not capable of doing so in the situation she was in.

[milkamel]

Mel you threw me down this hole you get to give me the things i request….. now i request some fanfics you personally think were the best damn things you have ever read of shadowvanilla….

Please and thank you 🥹

-lore anon

Hehehe come on I didn't throw you I just.. gently nudged you forward it's not my faulttt!! Anyway the ficsss.. hm. A good question. I'm very picky when it comes to fanfiction, especially the way characters are depicted. I can't read too OOC stuff unless it's a crackfic then it can get a pass. My personal nitpick 💔

BEFORE I START IF SOMEONE HAS SOME GOOD SHADOWVANILLA FIC RECS I DIDN'T MENTION.. GIVE ME PLEASE,,-

I think the classic of shadowvanilla genre is "Jambound". The most popular one but a very high quality, loved reading it. Characters feel accurate to canon and just- that's exactly how I imagine a good sdvn redemption AU. Jamma aka the writer of Jambound also wrote another fic recently called "Dollfaced" and it's more on the psychological horror side, but I recommend this one too!!

Oh and one of the first sdvn fics I read was "The Light Continues" series it's been written before episodes 7-8 but from what I remember they were enjoyable. I feel like I should mention it even if I read it quite some time ago. But it's not sweet but an unhealthy depiction of the ship lol (if anyone knows fics similar to this one please share,, as much as I love fluffy sdvn I want to read some more toxicity and unhinged Smilk hehe)

Another sweet one is "A Guide to Making Friends". It's very cute and silly and made me giggle a lot. PV mistakes a courting book for a friendship one. A lot of misunderstandings coming from both PV and Smilk, strongly recommend!!

I think I should also mention Truthlessage fics (aka the swap versions from the costume stories) too since I love them a lot- "What the Bluebird Carries" is a great fic about their relationship very close to how I see them too so it was a delight to read <3

Another fun one is "Two Truths and Two Lies" essentially Smilk and Sage swap universes ngl like these kinds of concepts so I was sold immediately. Didn't disappoint at all. If you'd like a silly crackfic I also recommend "Stream: START" long story short Smilk becomes a streamer and PV follows after. Loved it, funny af.

Honorable mentions, some of these fics I didn't personally read but my friend talks about them so much I believe I should mention them: "Code of Honesty", "Golden Cage", "Beyond the Farm Gates." I trust my friend's judgment 🙏

Anyway these are the most memorable ones for me personally. I have my own fic but since I have no idea if I continue writing it I won't mention it lol

[brienneoftarth1989]

Under Her Desk NSFW

Larissa Weems x fem reader

Summary: It’s been a long day at work and you just needed to let off some steam. You head to Larissa’s office to go have some wine like you normally do. However, no one knows your supposed to be there. Larissa shoved you under her desk when someone comes in to have a chat with her. What a silly idea that was

Warnings: fingering, pinning, teasing, cunnilingus, sensual, humiliation, dirty talk, shifted cock, aftercare, smut

Requests open

———————————

The end of the school day was always your favourite especially on a friday night because that is when you get to see Larissa. After a long working day you would normally head back to your room which was on site. From there you would normally do some writing which always helps you relax. You enjoyed writing fanfics about your favourite actress.

After about an hour you would normally then spend another hour just listening to music while you get ready for the evening. You recently created a Spotify playlist called the Era’s Tour. You have added the whole setlist from the Taylor Swift Era’s tour including all the surprise songs she has performed so far.

After then spending an hour listening to music and sorting yourself out for bed you would then go have dinner before spending the rest of the evening watching your favourite movies and series. The series you were watching at the moment was a series called Chucky which is about a serial killer who transferred his soul into a doll. It was a good series which you recommend.

However things changed for you one day after you had finished a one to one meeting with Larissa. She asked you if you had any plans for the rest of the evening, to which you told her that you were just going to go to your room and chill like you normally do after work. Of course Larissa didn’t like the sound of such a boring evening so she invited you to her office for a glass of wine later that evening.

From that moment every Friday evening you would make your way to Larissa’s office for a glass of wine and a good old chat about the week the both of you have had. It was quite enjoyable and as time went on so did the types of activities the two of you shared. It started out with the two of you just chatting and drinking but you started to develop feelings for the tall beauty.

So one night you decided to see how far things would go and you told her that you liked her more than just a friend. That night you ended up sleeping together and now the two of you have been together for just over 8 months. It still didn’t feel real that you were dating such an amazing person.

However the two of you did decide that you would keep your relationship a secret for a little while. You didn’t want your colleagues thinking you were getting special treatment from the boss and even after the 8 months of being together the two of you still meet up every Friday for a glass of wine and to chat about the week the two of you have had.

So you were currently packing up your classroom so you could then head down to Larissa’s office. When you arrived outside of the large oak doors you knocked your secret knock before waiting for Larissa to invite you in. You never wanted to just barge in because sometimes her meetings run late and you would never want to interrupt them.

Plus at least if you knocked if she was in a meeting the person wouldn’t start questioning you about why you just invited yourself in. Not even five seconds later you hear Larissa call for you to come in. You opened the door to see just Larissa sitting at her desk with two glasses of wine already poured for the both of you.

You walked over to Larissa helping yourself to one of the glasses before taking a sip. You definitely did enjoy Larissa’s choices in red wines. “Hey babe, how have you been today?” you asked her as you perched yourself on her desk. “It’s been alright darling, just writing up the report from the incident that happened on outreach day. I know it has something to do with Wednesday but I just can’t seem to prove that she had something to do with it” she sighed before taking a sip of her wine.

“I swear that a child always seems to be up to something and is always the centre of attention when it comes to these types of incidents. I’m sure she will cock up one day so you are actually able to prove that you were right” you chuckled slightly trying to get her to crack a smile which you managed to achieve.

Larissa and Wednesday seem to have a love-hate relationship at the moment. Larissa deeply cares for Wednesday but Wednesday seems to be trying her hardest to get to her last nerve. Larissa doesn’t want to have to be so harsh on any of her students but if they keep pushing her to her wits end then there will be consequences.

“Enough about me, how has your day been?” she asked you while closing her laptop to give you all her attention. “It was alright. Just been teaching and marking papers so nothing too ex…”

BANG, BANG, BANG

You turned to look at the door before looking back to Larissa. “Are you expecting anyone?” you whispered to Larissa. “No I am not” she whispered to you. “Who is it?” Larissa then called out. “It’s Marilyn, would I be able to have a quick word if you're not busy” Marilyn shouted from the otherside of the door.

“Quick get under my desk I can’t have Marilyn know you're in here, she will get suspicious” she whispered before shoving you under her desk. She then handed your glass of wine to you so Marilyn didn’t question why she had two glasses of wine when she was the only one in the room. “Come in” Larissa then shouted to Marilyn.

This was humiliating! Why did you have to hide under the desk? It was at times like this you wished everyone knew that the two of you were dating but you knew better to rush things. Therefore you sat patiently under her desk sipping on your drink and eavesdropping on the conversation.

“So I have some concerns about Wednesday,” you heard Marilyn say to Larissa. Of course this conversation would be about Wednesday and you already knew that Larissa wasn’t in the best mood at the moment due to her. You also knew that Larissa most probably doesn’t even want to hear her name so you decided to cheer her up the only way you could at the moment.

You placed your hand on her bare calf and started to gently stroke up her leg. You were quite surprised she had foregone her stockings which she normally wore. At least this will make things a little easier. As you let your hands wander up her legs you started to leave small little kisses along the inside of her legs.

You heard her gasp slightly which she then covered up with a cough. “Are you alright Larissa?” you heard Marilyn ask. “Umm yeah, I’m fine, just had a little tickle in my throat which I needed to clear” Larissa responded. All you could do was smirk at her lie. As your hands travelled further Larissa slowly spread her legs which gave you access to everything.

You continued to press feather-like kisses up the inside of her legs before finally reaching her core. You knew she was turned on from this as there was a damp patch on her panties. You continued to leave sweet kisses over the top of her panties. You knew this was going to drive her wild and all she would be thinking is when will Marilyn leave?

You carefully moved Larissa’s underwear so they were now out of your way before latching onto her clit which you sucked on and traced with perfect little patterns that you knew Larissa enjoyed. You knew this would drive her wild and it won’t be long before she can no longer keep her cries and whimpers in.

“So what are we going to do about Wednesday Larissa?” Marilyn asked her. Larissa was trying her best to hold in her cries and moans. What a stupid idea to hide you under her own desk. “Umm.urr.. I’m not too sure at this moment in time. I..I need to have a word with We..Wednesday before I take any further action” Larissa managed to get out.

“Are you feeling ok?” Marilyn asked, concerned that her boss wasn’t able to compose a simple sentence without stuttering. “Ohh..I’m fine I’m just not feeling that great. I think maybe I need to go for a lay down” Larissa managed to say quite confidently. “Ok no worries Larissa, I hope you feel better soon” Marilyn said before leaving the room.

Larissa was quick to grab your head with her hand and push you further into her cunt forcing you to eat her out. You would die happy from suffocation. “Fuck y/n, yes right there, please put your fingers in me” Larissa finally moaned out. How could you deny her such things? You trailed your hand up her leg before lining two fingers up with the entrance of her pussy.

You slowly pushed your fingers in which slipped in with ease. “Fuck baby, you’re soaked” you moaned into her pussy. “Yes, all for you baby. Now fuck me like a slut” she moaned. Fuck she really knew how to turn you on as well. You slowly started to move your fingers inside of her before picking up the pace ever so quickly.

As you pounded her with your fingers you sucked harder on her clit. “Fuck y/n, I’m going to cum!” she moaned out. “Yes baby! Cum for me! I want to be drunk off your cum” you moaned. That was all it took before you felt Larissa’s walls clench around your fingers before she cried out from pleasure. “Yes baby, don’t stop, don’t stop!” you moaned as she came all over your fingers.

You let Larissa ride out her orgasm before slowly pulling your cum covered fingers from out of her. You put them straight in your mouth, sucking them clean. “You are in trouble” Larissa said while standing up allowing you to crawl out from under the desk. “What? Why? I just made you cum and somehow I’m in trouble” you laughed ever so slightly.

“Because my dear you did not have permission to touch me plus what if Marilyn had caught you” she smirked. “Well I would put on a show for her. I’m sure she would have loved to have stuck around to see who you belong to” you moaned as you pinned Larissa to the nearby wall.

“Ah I don’t think so! You’re done being in charge. Now it’s my turn to have my way with you” Larissa moaned into your ear before flipping you both around so you were now the one with your back flat against the wall. “Why don’t we take this to the bedroom” you whispered as you watched Larissa strip down in front of you.

“Oh what a brilliant idea” Larissa purred once she had removed all her clothing. She then grabbed your hand leading you to the shared bedroom. She immediately pushed you onto the bed before stripping you of all your clothing.

You felt yourself shiver as the cool air hit your body. “Aww is someone cold?” Larissa teased. “Don’t worry my sweet girl. I will have you sweating in no time” she whispered once again into your ear before starting to leave a trail of kisses from your neck down your body.

You squirmed under her touch. You knew where you wanted her but you knew deep down that Larissa was going to take her sweet time getting there and that was just what she did. Larissa slowly kissed down your neck before paying attention to your breasts.

She immediately latched onto one of your nipples while her hand pinched the other. You arch your back out of pain and pleasure. She knew just how to turn you on. “Fuck Larissa! Harder baby! Treat me like the slut I am” you moaned. “Oh don’t worry baby, I will make sure you are fucked like the slut you are” she moaned against your skin.

She continued to torture your nipples before slowly starting to make her way further down your body where you were desperate for her touch. She finally reached your throbbing core to which she left a small kiss on your clit. You threw your head back in pleasure. “Please baby” you moaned.

Larissa ran her finger up and down your slit brushing against your clit every so often “Oh, you want me to pleasure you? Well all you have to do is ask baby” she smirked. You knew she was up to something. “Please Larissa! Please fuck me” you moaned as the teasing intensivied.

“Ah ah, that is no way to ask me to please you. Now what do you say?” she smirked as she looked up at you as she continued to run her finger through your folds. You had a thought as to what the right answer would be and then it came to you. “Please mommy, please fuck me. I’m desperate and I need your touch” you moaned as you tried to buck your hips into her hand.

“That’s better baby girl” she moaned as she pushed one of her fingers in you as she latched onto your clit immediately. She knew just the way you liked it. She continued to add more fingers before she eventually had four fingers deep inside you as she continued to torture your clit with her tongue.

“Fuck Larissa I’m close! Please can I cum?” you practically screamed. “Yes baby! Cum over these fingers! I want to taste every drop of cum that comes out of you” she moaned as she kept up with her pace which only brought you closer and closer. “Fuck baby I’m cumming!” you screamed as you felt your walls clench around her fingers as you rode out your orgasm.

Larissa helped you ride off your orgasm as she lapped up all your juices. Once she knew that you had come down from your high she slowly pulled her fingers out of you which she put straight into her mouth. “Mmm you taste amazing darling” she moaned as she sucked her fingers clean.

Larissa stood up and you couldn’t help but stare at her growing member. “Uhh babe?” you question. Had Larissa forgot to tell you something? You could have sworn you were eating her pussy out about half an hour ago.

“What’s the matter darling” she asked you, getting slightly concerned herself. “Babe you have a penis!” you told her not sure how to react. Larissa looked down at herself before quickly trying to cover herself up.

She sat down next to you clearly embarrassed about what had just happened. “I’m sorry babe. I should have told you. I’m a shapeshifter and sometimes when I’m really horny I lose control of my ability and this is normally the result. Let me go and sort this out as it’s harder for me to shift back when I’m this hard” she said smiling softly before standing up.

You grabbed her hand before pulling her back towards you. “I have a better idea” you smirked before getting down on your knees. You grabbed her cock before slowly wrapping your mouth around the tip. Larissa gasped at the sudden action before letting out a moan as you swirl your tongue around the tip of her cock.

You coated her in your saliva before taking her out of your mouth. “I want you inside me” you moaned as you stood up. Larissa pushed you back onto the bed before lining herself up with your entrance. She slowly pushed herself inside of you, which you both let out a deep moan. Larissa allowed you to adjust to her size before she started to move inside you.

It didn’t take long until she found that perfect pace that was bringing you both closer and closer to the edge. “Fuck Rissa I’m going to cum again! I want you to cum inside me” you moaned as you wrapped your arms and legs around the tall beauty. That was all it took before you were both sent over the edge. You came first which caused Larissa to follow straight after.

You felt as her cum fill you up and it felt amazing as she continued to fuck it deeper inside of you. She finally came to a stop before pulling out of you. She watched as the cum oozed out of you. All you could do was lay there in post orgasmic bliss. Larissa was quick to stand up and head to the bathroom.

You ever so slightly sat up and watched as she walked back with a warm cloth. She had already shifted back. Just shows how desperate she was to cum. Larissa came over to clean you both up before she snuggled up next to you in bed. “Get some rest darling! I think I might have just fucked you dumb” she laughed.

All you could do was mumble a response as she wasn’t wrong. “Goodnight my sweet darling girl. Sweet dreams, I love you” she smiled as she laid down next to you. “I love you too” you managed to mumble out before sleep finally overtook your body.

[kaythefloppa]

Moose Nibbles - Thoughts [Spoilers]

The last episode in this week's batch of new episodes. Here are my thoughts: Spoilers ahead!

More ammo for my analysis of the canon timeline: The opening sequence of this episode takes place in Grizzly Gulch, the central location of Activate Kid Power, suggesting this episode takes place after that special. No reason why I'd mention it, just had to.

Ok I'll admit, this was a funny joke. Much like the salamander episode, this ep. is way funnier than it has any right to be.

Obligatory "why the fuck did it take them 14 years to make a moose episode?" aside... this is the first time we've seen a moose calf in the series and oh my god it's so fucking cute!!!

When they announced at the live show that they were doing a moose episode, I was really hoping that this episode would be a prequel to Little Howler, showing how the brothers got the moose disc. While I'm not disappointed that it didn't happen, and whilst this episode does more than enough to make up for that, still.

Also here is the show agreeing with me as to how absurd it is that we're almost 8 seasons in and we're only JUST NOW getting a moose adventure.

A few things to note

I am SO GLAD that we were wrong and that this wasn't a musical number. Idc how good the song from the previous S7 episodes were, those mfs cannot sing 😭

This entire file name is titled "acid," which I think is a good enough descriptor for this entire sequence. I feel like it would be even WORSE on acid.

This is a joke in the episode that DOESN'T land and that's purely because of the punchline; secondhand embarassment is not enough to detail how cringe it is. They were doing so well beforehand too, like what gives 😭

After 3 seasons and 8 years, the Moose Suit is back!

I know I glaze S7's animation a lot, but I want to do it here because goddamn did the animators have so much fun with this scene and the facial expression. This is the type of shit I'd expect in a Spongebob episode, not Wild Kratts, but it's so fucking funny regardless! I know people think that the new seasons can get too 'kid-oriented' sometimes and part of me agrees but scenes like this make me happy regardless because I know that 8 year old me would've rolled on the floor at this. I'm laughing at this as an adult!

Also, what probably helps this scene is the color direction: There are three shades of green in this scene. The dark green that's in 75% of the background, the spring green in 35% of the background alongside Chris's bullfrog power suit (that matches the green hues of a frog) AND the light greens of the antlers juxtaposed to the other shades and thus the easiest to see! This helps the joke because you're obviously going to be attracted to so much green complimenting each other but also you're immediately going to point out the one thing that's NOT supposed to be there and laugh at it because of how easy it is to spot.

Yeah, two paragraphs glazing analyzing this one scene because the f*cking sight gag was green!

The first time we ALSO see a female moose in the series! I love this episode.

Had a conversation with my friends involving this, and of course I'm enough of a nitpicky bastard to ask this ultimately meaningless and fruitless question - what exact effect does the CPS have on the user's digestive tract? I assume that if an animal's abilities/biological life-hacks include specialized digestive tract (i.e. like a lemur, panda, or gazelle) it changes the user's tract to match the animal's, especially since we've seen this be the case before (i.e. the T-Devil and Gazelle Suits, both of which have been used by Chris).

All I'm saying is, compared to the sh*t that Chris has eaten in the CPS, (moldy pizza and grass that has probably been stepped/shat on), twigs are probably the best meal he'd take lmao.

Hell yeah babeeey we got the Oak Tree Power Suit callback!

Admittedly not as funny as the Bullfrog-Moose joke earlier, but still incredibly enjoyable of a sight gag. They didn't even try to hide the blatant callback and that just made it even more chuckle-worthy.

Does that fucking look like a horse to you Jimmy??

Also another episode where Jimmy plays a key role in saving the day. I feel like this is building up to an episode that will finally answer the question of "Does Jimmy need a Creature Power Suit" and with how they've been developing his character this season, I'd be good with either a "yes" or "no." Just something I'd like to mention.

CHICKADEE AVIVA!!!!!

I'm with Martin here. I feel like the proper method of preventing such crazy malfunctions from even being a problem in the first place would be THAT F*CKING RING CHIP THAT WAS CREATED A DECADE AGO TO HANDLE THIS EXACT CONTINGENCY AND I WILL KEEP BRINGING UP UNTIL SHE F*CKING COMPLETES IT.... or... someting like that.

Again, somehow this joke manages to keep being funny even after they overdo it. Well played, writers, well played.

But also, what is the species of the snake that touched Martin in this scene? What kind of snake suit was he malfunctioned into? The fandom wiki says it's a garter snake but the suit resembles the Rattlesnake Suit from Season 2 and even had the insignia, so I assumed that this was actually a King Snake Suit since most king snakes mimic rattlesnakes. But we've seen two species of king snakes in WK (the prairie king snake from Season 3 and the Eastern Kingsnake from the flash games), neither of which resemble the snake in the episode? Can any snake experts help me out? Because I'm gonna be mad if it turns out that yet ANOTHER episode in this batch was aired out of order.

CONCLUSION:

Pros:

The animation. Most of the jokes land here simply because the detailed and fluid animation compliments the comedy.

The fact that we got a moose episode at all.

The callback malfunctions. I don't exactly know, nor can I confirm how much online activity in the fandom chatboards managed to reach the radar of the Wild Kratts staff (logically it can't be much since the Internet's a vocal minority and all that but given the two year long dry season before S7, it can't be none at all, but I digress) but it definitely feels like the malfunctions in this episode were subtly written for older fans who were around during Seasons 1-2, since many of the suits we haven't seen since around that time. The self-aware humor surrounding the oak tree suit callback is more than enough of an indictator. But whether it was intentional or not, it's still a silly fun stirng of callbacks to episodes we know and love, and that is what I can appreciate it for.

Cons:

The Disney-acid sequence in this episode: Mainly the punchline that kneecapped any comedic potential it had and just came off as cringe. Skip. Skip Skip.

I'm gonna be honest, there are not that many pros or cons I can enlist about this episode beyond overanalysis and nitpicking. The entire premise of this episode down to its execution is simplistic, which isn't a bad thing. It was still enjoyable, it's still something that I can find myself rewatching on end. It's still something that I can point out personal cons vs. pros with (the acid sequence vs. the malfunctions) but divorced from all of that, it's a simple middle of the road episode at its core. Again, it's probably just filtration bias after being hung up from Monday's high-stake special, but I'm gonna say it's above average at best.

Ranked: 6.9/10