#these houses are too damn close
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sweet neighborhood story
#art#artwork#my chemical romance#gerard way#frank iero#gee way#mcr#these houses are too damn close#I've listening to Pain Three Days Grace 2 days for a row
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i was thinking of treating myself to a lovely brunch this morning bc we have a string of rare 70+ degree days right now (for october) and i really should take advantage of the weather and the patios before they disappear but i caved to my baser instincts last night and got takeout instead. however that does mean i am currently baking two eggs on top of a garlic cheese bread covered in mashed potatoes bacon and broccoli. with the window open
#i should keep stuff for mimosas in the house#i was gonna go to that place that has the focaccia with guincale and egg and cheese again#do you guys remember. probably not. but i dream about that meal sometimes#remember that’s how i found out my old toaster was broken. bc i tried to recreate it and it would NOT cook my damn egg#anyway i should go there before they really close the patio#but not today.#chatpost#i’ll post pics when it’s done i’m gonna put some spinach on there too
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Okay but Doran is such a Tired Dad™ lol. His daughter is actively working against him, literally planning a coup in the adjacent kingdom they have been warring with till only a 100 years back. Not to mention his well-educated, politically savvy, kill machines of nieces who have always been too hot to handle are now are specifically hell bent on revenge lmao
#doran martell#arianne martell#asoiaf#the sand snakes#dorne#martell week got me thinking#he does hold his cards too close to his chest#but damn I understand why#and no matter how hard he tries#the rest are just so funnily inclined towards ruining his carefully planned yet delicate plans lol#and not even deliberately#it’s just a side effect lol#can’t get any funnier lol#the dornish plot#house martell
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Cats
What's not to love about these lovely creatures? Honestly, growing up I was always a dog person (even despite the fact that I was attacked by one when I was young). But then I realized I wouldn't be able to take care of a dog for, well, a buncha reasons, thought about how it would be to have a cat, and thought, yeah, it would be nice to have one. For so many reasons. The eternally lethargic me could never take care of a dog properly. A cat, though? I probably could.
#the void asks back#I physically still can't bring myself not to freeze up or get away when a dog is nearby#despite the fact that I still love them#my first thought when one is nearby is always “what if it decides to attack me?”#obviously the answer is that it won't but childhood trauma does shit to you lol#that's the first time I've ever called it trauma but now that I mention it it really is huh#still remember sobbing afterwards about the wounds on my back#shame I never got any scars#the least I could get for going through that#fun fact: The next house we moved to after that incident had a dog that was chained that I played with#one of my strongest memories with the dog was of accidentally hurting it because of how sad and guilty it made me#like damn I really liked that dog#despite the fact that I still couldn't get too close given the whole recently formed trauma thing#I do also remember getting chased by a crocodile with my aunt back in the same home the dog attack took place in#or was it an alligator#but honestly I have trouble believing that memory wasn't a dream#even though that's the only memory of that time I'm unsure is a dream or not#one day I should ask my aunt if it was a dream#also we were in the house's compound so we were able to run inside and be fine#but somehow I doubt that that really happened#oops there I go rambling in the tags again
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I have this feeling that I have unofficial beef with my neighbor...
#text#okay so if you wanna know:#this old lady above our apartment didn't like me even before I moved in#when she first met me we had some guys over who uninstalled and took away the old kitchen cause we were getting a new one#and she instantly tried to file some sort of complaint that it was apparently against the house rules to put spacious furniture into the#elevator without some sort of cover because the elevator could get scratches or something but get this#there was nothing in the house rules that said this. my dad even asked the ppl in charge of the house rules and they confirmed that#pretty weird isn't it? well haven't seen each other too often so I had the fortune of not having to put up with her... until 2 days ago#I just did my laundry and wanted to put it up on the communal drying rack in the basement#you also have to know that the neighbors to the right of us smoke weed. A LOT. I don't rly care you do you but they seem to smoke 24/7#So much their entire apartment reeks of weed and they actually open their apartment door for like 1 hour in the evening to air#and of course our entire floor smells. so I get into the elevator and wanted to press the button for the basement floor but I notice it#suddenly goes up. and I'm just like okay fine.... until I run into the weird old lady and we stare at each other awkwardly#and I'm like “well... you need to go up or down...?” and she's like “I need to go down but I don't wanna get into the elevator with you..”#(get ready for what she says next) “... because your laundry smells” and you should have seen my confusion. I was so damn close to saying#“you think I put WEED into my laundry?? are you sure???” but I didn't say anything and just went well okay then not ig#So I go to the basement and put up my laundry a little bewildered but still mostly amused go back up and sleep over it#Well today I returned from college and went down to collect the laundry when I found a little piece of paper hung right next to it that said#“when you leave the washroom turn of the lights” but I swear to god I put out the light I'm 100% sure. And like she also knew I was down#there cause I was in the elevator and like why would someone put in all this effort to print out a piece of paper instead of just turning#the lights off themselves??? Idk maybe I rly did leave the lights on and this is a weird paranoia I'm having#but I can't shake of the feeling that it was her and she's trying to beef with me rly hard. idk old ppl are so weird man...
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people who just.. have full conversations at concerts. why
#i talk#went to this free music festival event and yeah I Guess its free so you can do whatever but still i feel its kinda.. disrespectful?#im not even talking about small things like telling the ppl youre there with youre getting a drink or bathroom or out for a cigarette idk#or just quick comments about the music being good or whatever#these people were standing in the middle/front close to the stage and just yell-talking (bc yeah loud music) about like#their friends relationship dramas?? is there really no better time and place for that?? i wanna listen to the damn music#maybe im not seeing the other side but i really feel its kinda shitty both for the musician and the people around you who want to listen#first time going in for a more electronic thing so there was this guy doing really cool ambient house music at a smaller bar#and i was really feeling it like the music and beats and transitions scratched my brain perfectly and i took a short video too#was there for about an hour and people were just Constantly talking & i watched the video and genuinely the music is just in the background#several conversations about someones friend always getting into toxic relationships front and center#and it specifically was a concert not just bar with live background music - ppl are dancing and stuff - and the same happened before#at an outdoor stage too#i dont get it if you wanna talk go outside? then you wont have to yell either? listen to the music and if you dont want to then leave#so at least others can enjoy it#ok rant over whatever the music was amazing and im really annoyed at people
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oh god why do i do this to myself
#i'm watching a medical drama with a lot of close up shots of body parts and internal organs and shit#and i hate that but i cant stop fuckin watching#its just too good#damn you house md producers
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#peach prc#this song makes me ball my eyes out#like it hits too close to home#and i cant stop listening to it#like damn it sends me down such a spiral#it is not okay#and you've settled down and now its permanent#and now you dont call or miss me at all#;-;#how can a song describe my experiences so well#stays haunting the house with the angels we made 🎶#touchy subject#song#p#rambles ignore me#l#e#Spotify
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#my dream last night was so mean to me. not bc it sucked but bc it was Good n now i wake up n its not REAL??????#it was so realistic too JDJJDJDJSJS#this is mostly for my benefit to write it down like this but djjdjsjjzms#ppl were at my house. [redacted] included. and we didnt get to sit near each other n he was Upset LOL. so he makes a comment about me like#not wanting to be near him n i was like thats not true !!! so he fuckin... comes near me JDJJDNDNDND and im like oh this is too much n i#like. keep having to back away. bc im just so overwhelmed. not bc i dont wanna be near him#but just the Idea of it... NDJNZNZMZMZ n e way#and hes like SEE???? and im like no !!!! you dont get it !!!! n hes like i have to go n goes to leave. so i chase him outside n like#hes got a ride waiting for him and im like... [redacted]!!!!!!!! and he turns around n hes like. i really gotta go#n i was like but !!! its not true!!! i do wanna be near you. and his rides like... oh i can wait. so [redacted] like tries again n no ones#around so like JJZJZJJZJZZJZ AHHHHHHH i dont squirm away or anything. and hes like.... oh i cant even say it JDJZJSNZZ#hes... holding.... me HIDJEKEKSKSKSKSK and his face is really close n hes like. so this is okay?? and im just like ya.. and i think i say#that i like him??? and like idk JDJZJZJZJZJZ he says it back and THEN I WOKE UP RHRKXDOJJDJZJZM ITS SO MEANNNNN SO MEANNNNN#but actually reading it out. its not really that realistic IDK#im just.... damn. back to reality JDJZJSJSJJSJD#personal
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the rat is SICK? :( poor poor rat.....
stay snuggly and stay warm <3
Oh my goodness how are you this adorable T-T I don't even know what to say...
I want to glue this to my heart. May not help me get well sooner but it sure is making me so happy ๑ï
Thank you, truly.
I'll try my best to stay snuggly and warm, though I could never reach the comfort of your drawing. In the meantime, you stay cozy and safe too <3
#you didn't have to do thaaat you wonderful wonderful being#I'd really love to draw something too but you know... can't really do that right now >:(#gosh you had me happy stimming so hard... I dunno what I did to deserve to have met you; but I'm so glad. I'm so glad.#not just for getting to see your art or experiencing the sheer joy & honour of having some made just for me (unfathomable. I feel so lucky)#but because I get to experience what you're like as a person. and you're pretty damn amazing#I mean that with every bone in my body (does that even make any sense)#...I want to live this. I want to be the round rat in a cozy little home who's befriended a hand snail and an adorable werewolf#I can't but. this gets pretty damn close#(I really do look like my rat right now though dhsjsj) but the blanket. I want it in my house ;_; It's perfect; the lil bats & pumpkins...#“rat stuck in a bed” that's meee- hehe that made me grin#you included the plushy T-T and my cat!!! my darling boy!!! really captured his essence too (everything is better with a cat by your side)#but gosh... wolf and snail you coming in with the soup. that gets me. that gets me good.#the concerned lil “shhh” and the droopy ears I CAN'T. And I love getting to see the snail again. such a handsome hand#ya made the lights look extra grinny too... I love this. I love this so so much you don't even understand; I can't express it#this feels like finding something in one of my parents' old yellowed books; except the book can read my soul#you know what I mean? it reminds me of those illustrations#I love getting to see your handwriting. it feels so safe ...sick me is sentimental. not that I'm not usually that#my own printer is trash but I know someone who has access to a good one. they could do that for me tomorrow. I need this on my wall#...I really appreciate you#rätposting#ask by:#a-dauntless-daffodil#and of course#art by dauntless
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Whenever i am told thangs abt the leech i just go. What an embarrassing person gosh
#iykyk#god damn#The stupidest and most oblivious person ive ever came in relatively close contact with /gen. With several ppl who know them irl agreeing#i kind of feel bad they dont even realize this but not gonna bother myself with it its just me going damn#unfortunate#apparently they are under impression im a lurker. one of their MANY projections but possibly the funniest/most pathetic one#i literally did not see their blog/crs blog since waaay back when we were still getting along#i have 0 reason to go in their spaces#last ive heard they were obsessively going thru tags on my posts day in and out#at work out of work#that makes ONE lurker in all this haha even crink knew to stop at some point LMAO#literally all i know is from ppl telling me soz m8#osmosis#just. the fact they believe ppl care enough to lurk on them is really funny in a sad way#ive been told they are paranoid abt one of their followers or something?#theyre nobody i know but stay paranoid ig#the assumption ppl would care enough#i was chortling while having old pellets read out for me#i would have to be insane to care abt what someone like that says#by which i mean an undiagnosed unmanaged shut in#quote /the universe hates them/#definitely nothing to do with them being a mess#fitting that they have an alter ego/sona that is just their bad traits concentrated#like yeah. why are we even upset LMAO#projection town on their end allllllll the way it just screams /unwell and out of the loop/#they dont know... ajajaj...#night was not happy abt that post no surprise there#YES they are enabling infidelity yes they are inserting themself. was supposed to stay in the house a few months and now. poor night jfc#nine months to go is too long#im so glad she told them
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i mean i get why it sucks but i've been having an existential crisis that keeps me up at night for most of my life too and i'm not producing people expressly to abuse them and use them as tools about it. Astrals are just on something else i guess
i'd say it's a question of scale in general, as in an existential crisis coming so deeply from a whole different life in your head would fuck someone up much more. but anyway i keep saying Lucilius' way to treat other is bad, in those same posts in fact, just that his issues with depersonalization/derealization are also extremely compelling and actually make me feel bad for him. Those two feelings can coexist, and i don't mean that you have to be nicer to him or anything. i'm just saying he's still an interesting character.
#like idk as someone who suffered from both scenario ie: abuse from family and lover#and this feeling of twisting yourself to try to overcompensate on the neglect you've been through#AND as someone who genuinely feels like i'm walking my life as dissociated from reality#and have to constantly remind myself to remain close to earth while being scared when the apathy knocks in#especially after too-realistic dreams that can really make it seem like something is deeply wrong with me and i shouldn't be here#i have actually deep feelings for both situation#yeah Lucilius's way to treat others is wrong. i've never denied it or implied that because he was a sad meow meow it was forgiveable#all i've been saying is that damn actually this feeling of complete disconnect resonate with me to the point of shattering my glass house#and while compassion and empathy are stuff i deeply deeply prioritize in my life#i have those episodes of pure apathy especially after a disconnection like that#that genuinely scare me and that i have to work twice harder to feel myself back into controlling my thoughts#and therefore am deeply scared of the flipside of not managing to fight it#which actually make me much more empathic to characters who can't. actually.#like i have this thing where i see characters who struggles with similar issues than me and make all the wrong choices#because i pity them like i'd pity myself in the mirror on a bad day#like i'm sorry i don't want to be tmi or justify myself in such a way but i've tried just being more general#and if we're going to put personal experience into all of this i have all day#i have a trauma for all of the stuff i have lighthearted but strong opinions about#i insult Lucilius every other day i feel like it's a bit sad that the day i say i do actually like how interesting his drama is#that i have to argue for the reasons why those issues - while not erasing his flaws - are worth being emotional about#and i'm not asking you to feel this way and you should stick to how you feel bc your personal experience is what should shape your feelings#but you also need to accept that i have my own as well#ichareply#anonymous#ichafantalks gbf
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#tag talk#I am so fucking stressed right now I feel like I'm unraveling I'm hopping and stimming around the house#my brother gave me a big hug and told me it would all be okay and I feel better but still not great#two days left before we move and we're still settling apartment details.#the previous property we settled on ended up ditching us for someone else so it fucked up our plans#I'm actively avoiding making suicide jokes because I'm past the safe edge where I can do that. we're too close to play there.#I feel the tension in my chest so fucking tightly. I spent this morning lying in bed just working on breathing exercises.#I should do more right now actually. should do them regularly for the next few weeks tbh. a matter of survival#I wanna cut but I realize that's a risky thing to do right now while I'm out of control so that's out.#I will just get a little high and keep taking my allergy meds cause I'm sneezy as hell right now.#and keep packing and deciding what I'm keeping and what I'm tossing.#old projects I don't want to fit in my sewing box. chunks of wood I never got around to carving doodles on.#I'll accumulate more stuff after we move. I need to make space right now.#but not get too overzealous with it. don't throw out important stuff.#anyway. I'm surviving.#remember when I used to get philosophical about how my queue would outlive me?#at least I'm not actively suicidal like that anymore.#I will survive to keep adding shit to that damn queue. it shall not die.#I'm more committed to my tumblr queue than I am to most of my irl relationships.#I remember years ago when it went empty one time I was devastated.#anyway. I'm so struggling to keep my self control right now. I'm just. like I said.. unraveling.#I'll make it though. no more grippy socks for me.
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I had a dream where there was a murder mystery and some of the suspects were Obama, the couple from Ruthless People, Scott Bakula [like, present day, not QL era], three people from my middle school, and like half my immediate family, and upon getting an ending I didn't like [Scott was the killer] I woke up, remembered 90% of the dream including a final chase sequence, decided that ending SUCKED and I didn't wanna be awake yet, fell RIGHT back asleep, and returned right back to my fuckin dream and got a different ending that I now cannot remember [it wasn't any of the people I listed, but I also can't really remember who it was? It was a guy, and he was affluent, but I dont remember rip]
You WISH you were me
#i once had the same story 8 nights in a row. where id go to bed and pick up where i left off#imagine youre standing on the side of the road in a parking lot by ur old middleschool#and its nighttime and ur waiting for a couple from a movie you saw [apparently your friends]#to come pick up something they left in your car#and youre getting a bit nervous cause its nighttime and even tho ur in a safe area. thats scary#suddenly theres a man approaching and you get very anxious#holding your pepper spray in ur pocket#until he gets close enough and you realize its 70 yo st louis actor Scott Bakula#and hes looking for his dog. which was actually my dog in the dream but. ig my brain couldnt be fucked to make up a dog on its own#and since hes from st. louis originally you in your dream do not kick up a fuss because of course hes here. you do not even get starstruck#you treat him like any dude and start helping him look for his lost dog#cause his neck of the woods is like 10 minutes away. he doesnt know the area well. but YOU do#you guys get tired and you tell him that road is stacked like cordwood anyway and the traffic would be too slow to hit the dog#and you take a break at the local ice cream parlor thats been in this spot since before you could walk#and you see former president of the united states Barack Obama eating an ice cream cone. in full suit. with no one around him.#and instead of going “oh shit its obama” you think “hes out of town and has no one to sit with him#i should go sit with him. come along scott“ and so you sit with him after getting your cones#before you know it all three of you are looking for scotts damn fool dog which. again. is actually YOUR dog that he has ownership of instea#you find the fucker by the vape shop being played with by the employees and invite the merry band back to your house since its only#a short walk away. you text the Ruthless People couple to come to your house instead of that parking lot#and so on. man. what.#my house also wasnt my house. it was way bigger and had more rooms#someone got murdered. mystery began. i was the prime suspect and was gonna be thrown in jail Ace Attorney style#if i didnt come up with a different suspect in time#and i couldnt so i kicked out the screen of the window they were holding me in and ran out#and while running i put together that scott did it#and probably influenced by that stupid “im a runner” photo. who else but scott comes running after me#and he may be 70 but hes still 6 foot nothing and i have no strength and i still managed to throw the bastard down#which is around when i woke up. and i decided that sucked. and went back to bed#picked back up with me being convinced by scott that it WASNT him
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duuude. power of sleep.
#logbook#woke up and ive realized i slept thru my loud ass roommates and the very creaky house for hours.#combo of cold tea and ibuprofen maybe? damn i was zonked out. needed that shit.#also slept really well overnight too#nowhere close to feeling gr8 but. at least no fevers and less coughing and drainage.#and i am determined to at least wash my bedding today. one goal. doable.
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fireworks are only pretty and lovely when theyre far enough away that i cant hear them at 100% volume but close enough that i can still see them
#racing!#if i can hear them from Inside My House theyre TOO DAMN CLOSE#if i can hear them from inside my vehicle as im driving somewhere theyre TOO CLOSE#one asshole aimed a firework at my back tire as i was driving past. piece of shit
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