#these could make me almost cry lol
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Auston & Mitch meeting the Little Hustlers Lemonade Stand kids | 01.13.24
#toronto maple leafs#auston matthews#mitch marner#1634#fans#kids#hockeyedit#egifs#2324#anyway. good vibes ONLY this brings me so much joy.. theyre so soft and sweet......#i love. auston. saying he wants a hug too. so unnecessary but cutesy like. they do everything jointly.#knows mitch is a cuddler..... doesnt want him to feel left out theirjkews#god#these could make me almost cry lol#theyre SO cute. mitch is so personable with kids#calling practice praccy... he sends mefjkdjlsf#auston just slightly awkward but. smiley n happy to meet htem too
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viktor x librarian!reader (headcanons + tiny scenarios)
summary: how you've meet each other, when you feel in love and your first exchange of "i love you"s.
content warning: just tooth rotting fluff and cuteness between those two. :D
author notes: i know that sooo many people writed this same idea but i can't help it, it's just so cute and so good to write!! when i was writing, the words came almost instantly and gods, i love to write fluff so much!! oh, and today, when i was re-reading this with my friend i was thinking the whole time "damn i love him" ((and i was awoken until 3am yesterday trying to finish this one but i feel sleep and couldn't end it, but i finished it this morning and now, at night time, im posting in here! anyways, hope you guys like it. :)
» the moment the doors hang open, you turn to see who it is, and as you do so, the whole world stops.
» the prettiest man you've ever seen in your life just came into the library you work in. literally, the prettiest man.
» the way his fluffy hair falls around his face and his curious eyes keep looking at everything, scanning all corners of the room, every little thing he can, shining whenever he sees something he likes.
» and his boyish little smile, barely showing his teeth, that he was giving while talking to a furry someone just by his side.
“oh hi, dear friend!” waving, heimerdinger spoke, walking with tiny, fast steps in your direction, pausing when he was close to you. meanwhile the boy beside him was walking a little slower, his cane thudding softly against the floor.
he stopped near the yordle and looked at your face, giving a polite smile, offering to you his non-occupied hand, and you shaked it, giving him a smile of yours. “i’m viktor, heimerdinger's assistant. he said you could help me with some resources i might need, and i would very much appreciate any help your books could provide.”
“i hope you don't mind him coming here to do some researches, friend. he may come here often!” the yordle laughed, looking between the two of you and then walking away.
“ehhh.. so, do you have any books about-”
» basically, this is how you and viktor knew each other, through a friend in common. and, from this day on, he came to the library more and more often.
» at first, he just showed up, asked for a book you could provide and got out of the establishment. then, he tried to strike up a small talk with you whenever he was waiting for you to look up said books. now, he just straight up rants about any experiment he may be doing at the time.
» and if you're genuinely interested in his rant, he could go for hours just explaining every little detail to you, and he would love every second of it.
» because now he is a regular, you just analyze what he is up to in the most recent days and choose some books that might be useful to him, putting them in the drawer, below the reception desk. and when this happened for the first time he was almost flustered, because you cared enough to look up, sort and search for things that he didn't even asked for.
when you heard the door swing open, you looked at it's direction, smiling as you realized who it was. “hey, viktor! welcome again!” it was the third time this week he got to the library, looking for the same type of books, so you just worked a bit ahead this time. “i don't know if it is exactly what you need but i think that you could use these ones, they have some information you might like.”
“but i still didn't ask for anything..?” he stared at you with a puzzled face, trying to understand why you were giving him those.
“i just think it goes along with your research. also, i wanted to help.” you shrugged, smiling brightly at him.
and maybe this was when he thought for the first time “damn.. i might be in love.”
» after this, he always tried to stay closer to you, to say things you might like, to show you that he cared for you just as much as you cared for him.
» he even brought coffee (he got sweet milk for himself) and pastries for you both to share one day. and this was for sure one of the best excuses to transform a boring afternoon with no clients, into a lazy reading session, this, of course, until a client came and ruined the cutesy atmosphere between the two of you.
» of course he thought about asking you out before, but it was hard. he wasn't used to the feeling of love, of liking someone so deeply like this. so what could he do besides admire you everyday he was in your library? look at you with pure adoration, chuckle lightly whenever you said something that wasn't even that funny, and after it all just show you the most beautiful, bright and in love smile.
» he didn't like to belittle himself, but he really think you would be better with someone that wasn't him. you were so different, yet so alike him, it almost felt like it was meant to be.
» then, in one of his “oh, i will stay here for 15 more minutes and then i'll go home” times (that never lasted 15 minutes, to be honest), it was almost closing time, all of your coworkers were in their homes, no more clients in, simply, not a soul in there. only you both.
» you kept looking in his direction from afar, thinking to yourself how could you get someone so intelligent, so brilliant, so beautiful, so... him. you knew what you wanted, but again, it was hard. and, if saying your feelings out loud was way too scary, writing it all down seemed easier. so, you picked up a pen and a paper, writing in it everything that was inside your chest, your heart. you poured all your feelings into every word that you scribbled down.
» until you heard him packing up his stuff. you started to panic, and now there was only two options, leave the paper as it was and try to act neutral, or try to hide it and look even more nervous? well, there's no time to think! he was already in front of you while your head was spiraling nonstop.
“hey... you are fine? you look stressed.” he examined your face, tilting his head to the side, admiring every little feature of yours. your pretty eyes, your nose, your kissable lips...
“yes! i'm completely fine, no need to worry!” you put your hands on top of the little confession, smiling anxiously, hoping that he don't notice the sweet words you wrote down just for him.
“oh, what did you got there?” he looked at the paper, then at you, and back to paper. on a common day you would like to have his focus only on you, but it was making you even more nervous now, your stomach was turning itself, your hands were cold and trembling. and when he noticed it, he took your hand in his, and you could feel that he was shaking too. “hey... look,” he took a deep breath, almost like he didn't want to continue, like he was still choosing the right words to say. “i understand that some things we just want to keep them personal, only for ourselves. so, ehh, you don't have to show me what you wrote.”, he said with a nervous smile displayed on his lips, while caressing your knuckles with an almost feather-like touch, too afraid to ruin the moment and lose you right now.
and you didn't want to lose him too. even with your brain telling you that you shouldn't tell him, your heart knew you needed to say it, breaking itself or not. so it was now or never. “well... recently i've been thinking about our friendship, about what it could possibly be, about you.” you averted your gaze to the ground, wishing that you came up with fancier words and a better way to confess to him before it all, but you couldn't turn back now. “honestly i can't stop thinking about you, it's like you consumed every logical thought in my brain, everything that wasn't... you.” finally you looked at his eyes, just to see he already looking at you, eyes finally shining for you, because of you. “i love you, viktor. with everything in me, i really love you.” it seemed so right to say these three little words to him, to let him know how you felt since the first time you've seen him.
“and i love you too.” he came closer to you, still with his hand on yours, but now holding it gently, intertwining your fingers together, pressing quickly his lips in yours, smiling in pure awe, completely lovestruck after it. “i love you more than anything, my little star.”
#—swe writes#arcane#viktor arcane#lol#league of legends x reader#lol x reader#viktor x reader#machine herald#i was almost crying out of love when me and my friend were proofreading this#and if you think my friend likes lol or arcane. no they dont!#they just bear with me and my fixation of the month#i love my friend so much fr fr#anyways i just love vik soooo much#i wish i could kiss him passionately while holding his hands yk?#i want to smooch his face with little kisses too#like arrrrgh the way i want him is just so aaaaaaaaa ((hope you understand what im trying to say :)#viktor nation come on come on#i've cooked some content for us#if riot dont give us crumbs from him#then we make it ourselves
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They’re both so cute, what’s up with that (Patreon)
#Doodles#Adventure Time#Simon Petrikov#Betty Grof#Does an almost-married couple need their ship tag? This is canon (loosely) but I mean#Petrigrof#Anyway I love them <3#They're so flippin' cute together ugh they're in the Love Is Real sector of my mind next to Morticia and Gomez Addams#They make me cry they are in love I love them! That's the formula lol#Also them being starcrossed probably adds to it lol I am also a sucker for Love That Cannot Be (for whatever reason)#They're a bunch of goods! And they're fun to draw! What more could I ask for#Anyway lol onto what I actually drew of them <3#I am so in love with AI!Simon letting off love hearts in reaction to AI!Betty inside the crown it's literally so cute#I love when they're so full of ♥ for each other it's so cute ;;#They're both tiny as well but just the way Betty manhandles him haha#Especially when she hops through the portal and just moved him all over the place in relation to the flying carpet#Honestly that whole sequence is so good - Death rolling up and Simon refusing him despite being so ready I ;;;; He has so much faith in her!#They're so cool#I'm also pretty sure I also doodled that before seeing Episode 8 of F&C of the two twirling around where Betty ends up on the lower stair#They give twirly vibes! Pick each other up! Especially Betty tho haha#The only way he can be taller than her: She picks him up lol#Kiss attack because he's cute and he enjoy it <3#And then more very aggressive compliments lol#Who can blame her for getting cute aggression looking at that guy#He'll hug her in revenge later don't worry about it lol
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He found out he’s not the highest rated anymore….isn’t taking it too well <<
#wallowing in that feeling of missing out or not being good enough for others standards (or even your own tbh) :))#no but actually I hope no one takes this post the wrong way#it was actually very therapeutic to draw this?#I know some people don’t like seeing their comfort character in distress but for me it’s almost reassuring#knowing that even this silly guy has hard days. Makes them feel human and sympathetic?#like they understand hardships and still persist despite it all#I hope no one takes offense :( don’t worry he’ll be feeling better about it soon enough 💜#but I also have no issues with this art being taken humorous#(because he do be ugly crying like a desperate teenager that got rejected)#reminds me of the ‘no your cringe��� meme someone else drew Mr. Puzzles too lol#so you can interpret this art as serious or silly I don’t care either way honestly#My inspiration here is that after he was defeated he kinda spent a couple days upset about it#started to cut apart star shaped fairy lights in frustration and cut out paper to resemble stars he wished he could have#just kinda going berserk in outrage obsessing over star shaped objects to fill that void#hence why it looks like there’s arts & crafts and Star glitter everywhere on the floor lol#but like I said you can make up your own story and narrative for it <3#hplonesome art#mr puzzles fanart#cw crying#tw crying#mr puzzles crying#crying mr puzzles#smg4 mr puzzles fanart
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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got on the phone and like 30 seconds in was like where are you and i was like huh? and he was like why arent you here :( and at the end of the call he said "i miss being able to grab ya" and idk it was very moving to me. moving is not the right word but i no longer have sufficient hermeneutical vocabulary for this
#like speaking as someone who feels inherently disgusting and unloveable. and then i almost started to cry but let’s not talk about it#thanking god for being merciful and making me not start my period this morning so i could talk to him bc i. needed to#sadly i know tumblr anon(s) were right but oh my god lol
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why brain whyyyy
i just want to read a book why must it make me paranoid?? I want to Sleep 😭
#this is about The Book of Bill#No Spoilers#typing out loud#Paranoid From Book Edition#but ya know it's meant to be kinda scary. a bit horrifying. Fills you with some dread#and i pointedly ignored that! i laughed at things and went “you cant do that! this is a fictional book”#now its almost 5am and my Bill plush I got hanging up is Taunting Me#i have a nightlight (im a wimp) but the plush is obscured so its all shadowy#and i see it! without glasses! and Get the Jeebies!#ive had to grab my flashlight and stare at it. or turn on my lamp and stare at it.#or make a tumblr post and occasionally look up to stare at it#damn you Alex for letting me get my paranoid hands on this book (/pos)#fr I think im going to have to take plush Bill down so i can attempt to sleep again#it's that or wait for the sun! yay all nighters! hhhhhhhhhh#i didn't get to read all the book yesterday. reading physical books make me sleepy after a while sob#but man! its a trip. a journey. who knows what's on the next page! not me!#i also blame gus. not like gus gus (rip my man) but his unfortunate.. situation#its also rattling around my spooked brain and not helping <3#wait his name is gus right?? im so tired ugh#ah whatever you either get it or you dont lol#i could play mc.. but.. eepy#but also. no big light = no good#and i cant guarantee relocating the plush will solve my problem#gaaah why am i like thissss. i think of plenty scary things!! why must the well dressed triangle be my downfall#crying on the floor#“i think of plenty scary things” bruh i cant sleep without a nightlight what am i on about lmao#maybe that's the point. im a wimp <3 so many things are scary to me. huh#Anyway!#Read the book. Or Don't#I am! Will! Have?
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i have been trying to fall asleep for almost an entire gayass hour
#my parents closed and locked their door tonight so our dog is whining and crying outside of it to be let in to sleep#and my room is right next to it#so shes like right outside my door whimpering and pawing at the floor and whining#and its making me feel really really really bad#i tried knocking on their door but they didnt answer :( i think my dad is asleep and my moms showering though#i wont be able to fall asleep until our poor dog stops. so#i tried inviting her onto my bed but its too small for her and my sisters cat is here#reminds me of thjs time when i was rly little and i would go n sleep in my parents bed all the time when i couldnt sleep#in yhe middle of the night#but they were kinda sick of it so this one time they locked their door but i was too young to like#understand the concept that other doors besides like our front door could be locked#so i like. sat their for like half an hour trying to open this locked door...like this tiny si#-x year old child in the middle of the night tryina open this locked door & sniffling & crying. lmao#whjch might b why our dog crying n sniffling outside their door bothers me so much lol#anyway it is almost twelve in the fucking moening and i tried to go to sleep around 10:30. im so tiredd.....
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im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg
#i wasted the whole fucking weekend because i *had to* come visit her and once i visited i *had to* hang out with my fucking grandfather#watching him cry about grandma and bitch about modern times and the waiter not doing his job because the café was full to bursting#and it took longer than usual to get our coffees so ofc he had to loudly insult him in third person. oh and then he had to bitch about#gay people and women who dont want children too because of he did. and i sat there and listened to it because i HAD TO#wasted four fucking hours. and then i HAD TO go to the theatre with my mom because she got us tickets because she wanted this#to be a nice day for me but i dont have fucking time to have nice days rn but in order for HER to have a nice day i need to at least pretend#i am having one. so i wasted another almost two hours on that play#which was some modern uselessly loud to the point of being physically painful bullshit bad enough that we left mid-show#and then i had to go meet with her friends so lost another two hours and by the time i got home to write that bullshit thesis it was 11pm#and i barely got anything done till 1 am because i went through another stupid little mental breakdown and then it was almost 6 am#and i had to stop because i had a train at 8 and i already only slept like 3 hours that day#and then i got home yesterday totally fucking exhausted and i started reading stuff for the thesis but i was falling asleep so i laid down#'for 10 minutes' and i woke up today at 6. not having written a word lol#and now i could just say fuck it and defend it in september and it would make my life so much easier. but my voice teacher wants me#to get accepted for the masters degree even if im already planning to get the deans leave for the first semester so like. god.#i cant do this lol#i know i should have started earlier but i was kinda busy losing my fucking mind and lying in bed staring at the ceiling for hours#and contemplating dropping out completely lol god i hate my life so much it's unreal
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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i'll probably be skipping stream today & tomorrow on account of my personal challenge to finish JE before you (<- absolutely not going to happen)
but while i'm here SHUT UP your headcanon is not icky :) though i can't really talk since i don't bring my own up very often either, and i honestly haven't even put that much thought into the logistics around it. anyway trans masato 🤝 trans wagi as personal coping mechanisms
DAWG you gotta finish it... idk how long youve had it but prob longer than me cmon now gamer i know you can do it ✊
trans masato is just funny because Like Everything I Do it just started as me joking about scenes from the game and then the ending happened and i was like Oh Lol It's Not A Joke Anymore I Think
I DONT USUALLY SUBSCRIBE TO TRANS HCS EITHER THAT WHY IT ICKY TO MEAJLWKJL but thank you. i promise to only mention it once every five months
#snap chats#to put it bluntly i Do Not like acknowledge. That aspect of my life. if me never even saying terms outright is to go off of LMAO#i cry thinking about it- like right now LMAO I ALMOST DID I HATE IT i dont like using hate but... thats one of five things i hate for sure#My Issues Aside Tho ive already talked about 'my logistics' with trans masato but ill say them again cause its funny#1.) The Injection Scene like it's for his. Adrenaline or whatever but the first thing i said when i saw it was an injection joke#because literally how could i not LIKE LMAO THEY SERVED IT ON A PLATTER#and then there's the whole Change His Entire Identity After Running To A New Country#i always joke about wanting to do that so that's strike two buster#and then to top it off when he comes back he looks like every transman ever before the effects of T start taking effect#which is a hilariously ironic statement to make considering The Before And After but lol strike three bozo#AND THEN STRIKE FOUR WAS HIS WHOLE 'i changed my name and body' BIT LIKE DAWG YOURE ALREADY OUT#IK ITS IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED UP 'FOR POWER' BUUUUT TOP TEN 'HE JUST LIKE ME FR' MOMENTS LMAOOO#there's also his voice- both in jp and eng- just having a sort of Texture(TM) to it#in jp it's sort of high and nasally while in eng there's a sort of gravel to it that's so 🏳️⚧️?????? to me. im sorry.#do you see. that's why it's so funny. its so painfully funny#the funniest jokes are the ones with Some Weird truth behind them by the most delusional bitches ever <- me#ANYWAYS. i promise not to mention it much If Ever only when something really funny happens to me that reminds me of it#and i dont have a sneaky way to allude to it in a comic or a fic#end of the month is always hell for me cause on the one side Yay Money but on the other hand its like I Have To Work For It FUCK#so i can only draw on the weekend#im having a month-long sale for december tho...... so if we never see me again thats why#EW I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE TO DRAW FOR A SECRET SANTA THING TONIGHT NOOOOOO#and i wanted to finish up that fic... cause im literally three lines away from finishing it...#christ i need to learn to juggle better. for now im eating this onigiri that i was too busy to eat#anyway no one look at me im soryr for sharing my cringe </3 i prommy it wont happen so bluntly again
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Today I
- went to the y and got the membership thing sorted out so I’m the only person listed on my membership (the old lady was there again and she was still mean and I tried to be really serious that it was a matter of my safety and she raised her voice and got angry and said I wasn’t making things easy and I accidentally started tearing up and told her that they abused me and I can’t be connected to them and then I think she felt bad and just did the damn thing by making me a separate account and then gave me a discount so that was nice)
- worked out at the Y
- went to the store and bought groceries
- cleaned the litter box
-weed-eated (?) the yard
And now I’m going to make a nice fancy dinner for myself as a treat and maybe watch something cute 🥰
#I kind of killed it today I’m proud of myself to be honest#if anyone has cute tv or movie recommendations feel free to send them my way#I got the good pasta and my favorite cheese I’m going to make cacio e pepe yummy yummy#but also literally if she was able to do it after I was almost crying she would have been able to do it yesterday when I requested to have#my own separate account like we didn’t have to go through this lady you’re the one making it difficult#but it was nice of her to give me a discount she told me to lie about my income so I could get it lol
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Shit man couldn't handle walking into my grandma's house and seeing her empty closet and not having her to go and hug as soon as she saw me.
#luly talks#i really thought i was gonna be able to make it I wasn't#thru the walls its almost like i can still hear her talking from the living room#never i missed to hear her complain and speak so loudly i got sensory overload lmao#how i wish i could. nah. i am glad for all the opportunities i had to sit to the point of wanting to rip off my head just to be with her#I'm fine. its gonna be fine#its almost cinematic the way i walked in started looking around inside the closet to the sides and i just wasn't able to hold back#and as soon as my dad heard me sighing a bit too loud (granted i probably was pouting + red too) he started to cry too and signed for my#uncle to leave lol
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"Just another nobody pretending to be a somebody." "You're the best somebody I've ever met."
🎥: @bikinibottomdayz
#almost famous musical#daniel sovich#penny lane#william miller#ugh they have such great chemistry#the way they play their characters is just so soft#like i said in another post they truly feel like two kids just trying to make their way through the world of rock and roll#so many little moments between them i wish i could fit into one post#i find it so sweet that she was his first penny lane for his william debut show#they seem to have quite a few pictures together outside the theatre and seem pretty close#lol the way he comments 'girlie' on her posts#the way his hands wrap around hers when she hands him his notepad in the second gif#him crying into her hair in the river scene never fails to make me sob harder if i wasn't already sobbing#their hug in the last gif??? i know solea and casey hug too but this hug hits differently because it gets tighter#i kind of wanna make a gifset of the small moments i appreciate in some of their scenes#alisa melendez#her letting him try her glasses on and him taking the coat she left behind after real world? ugh!!!#alísa melendez#i promise i always put her name first i just edit the post on my phone so i can put use the accent with the 'i'#i lipread sometimes and she asks him if he wants to try her glasses and he says 'yeah!' and once they're on she says 'perfect'
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who needs surgeons when you can just reread the book that defined your adolescence and get your heart ripped out for free
#i didn't get through a whole chapter before i started crying#this is about the dusk gate chronicles which nobody on the face of the planet has ever heard of lol#it's just. these books meant EVERYTHING to me#i've never connected so deeply with any other protagonist. like there are others i LIKE more but this is different#quinn (the protag) just feels... idk like the same as me. almost every decision she makes is the one i would make and our flaws are the same#the love interest reminded me so much of the real boy i was in love with too and that kills me now#the core philosophy of the book literally held our stupid dysfunctional relationship together a couple times#but even now that i'm out and regret ever knowing him the philosophy still means so much to me just in a different way#the rose garden i was trying so hard to cultivate and grow and protect turned out to be nothing but thorns#and the dandelions i used to root out are the happiness i needed all along. yes they're easier but it's easy now because it's right and good#and now it hurts bc these books brought me so much joy but now its stained with associations to someone who hurt me carelessly#in a character that made me want to fall in love#for fucks sake he has the same NAME even. Will this and Will that i can't take it!!!#god. maybe i could find a way to read kindle books in my browser so i can use a deadname replacer on him lol#rename him something that won't break my heart every damn time i read it#anyway. sorry for this i am very sad#dani.txt
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someone on my feed has been talking about kuukou’s unwillingness?? i suppose is the word, to be in the spotlight, especially in regards to this fpmtr➕ chapter
like kuukou functions as if this isn’t his story, he’s not the protagonist of it; moving behind the scenes to ensure jyushi gets his chance to shine on stage and affirm himself, pushing hitoya out of the way to take an attack because he probably could sense hitoya needed to be on that stage facing jakurai, following ichiro’s lead and helping when he asks and it’s interesting to see it reinforced so often
#this is vee speaking#shout out to the bat stans on my feed crying and professing their love for kuukou lmao btch me too holy shit#the brain is making this akin to ‘the buddha guides us all’ that was brought up the other day#and the person on my feed had brought up kuukou’s a hero on the fringes of the story almost like the gojos or all mights in shounen stories#the person who moves stories forward but the outcome is largely based on the protagonist#(lol i’m filling in blanks on what this person I THINK was trying to say lol so if that doesn’t quite make sense my bad 🙇♀️)#the op went on cry that kuukou can be a protagonist too and man i feel that lol#like kuukou is a support character but now i wanna know how much of that is self imposed or instinctual lol#if it’s self imposed why???? because he knows he’s not ready for something???? did someone make him think that way????#but on that vein kuukou’s silently working towards his end goal so i think we just aren’t privy to his story yet#(hence why bb vs bat should happen lol what better way to put kuukou in the spotlight than making him go up against the poster boy lol)#and speaking of hella awesome banquet the martyrdom imagery that had been put on him also came into play with this chapter#the mv is a chock full of mixed catholic buddhism aesthetics#but you could piece together sacrifices made for the betterment of humanity from both religions and it’s been placed primarily on kuukou#pretty neat stuff and still kinda concerned if it’ll go any further than just this chapter lol#c: kuukou👑
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