#these are what we call boundaries!
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fugidove-calls-andfriends · 2 months ago
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I’ve gotten them but there’s more in the tags that i said about this
(there’s some mild swears towards the end.)
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Hey guys, a bit of a more serious tone post here but
i need some of you guys that love this rp and have fun with sending anon asks to know, but i need EVERYONE to know to not send weird asks.
I have gotten a few weird ones that i havent felt comfortable with and im sure the others have too.
you have to understand that all of us have boundaries, some of us are also minors (under 18) and that this is a very weird thing to send people
some people need to learn the concept of a digital footprint.
i havent blocked anyone yet, but i will start to if this behaviour doesnt die down
thank you to everyone that is normal on anon, and thanks for taking the time to read this
- mod venus
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lovesodeepandwideandwell · 1 month ago
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ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)
so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.
anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)
If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.
To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.
The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.
I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.
so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you
#wow! that was crazy!!!! at least this is the neurotic overthinking website#so i hope you can not neurotically overthink what you did to make me unfollow you. and instead rest in our mutual finitude#the other day i had the experience of clarifying with a friend that i'm her best friend but she's not mine. in almost so many words.#(she asked who i'm closest to and i named a couple people here and away. then i asked her and she named a couple people and me)#she got teary but didn't have an anxiety meltdown which is huge progress for her! and we kind of acknowledged the difficulty and moved on#and kept hanging out and texting and loving each other#super weird experience but kind of like a lightning bolt of realizing things i've been intending for a while#we have to give each other the dignity of making choices even when the choices aren't each other. on a social level#we have a higher calling! all of us do! it sucks when the social stuff gets weird but we shouldn't let the weirdness distract from the call#and frankly once you start choosing the call over the world then the world's structures stop being at all compelling#for a neutral tool tumblr can be quite amazingly powerful for the Lord#but it is of the world and runs on some lies and i've hit a breaking point where i needed to confront those lies before i kept going#anyway. the point is. I LOVE YOU. and God has told me I have more urgent loves right now.#what an insane post to be making !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh wait edit to add! just to be clear i'm not trying to say don't message/reply/send stuff to me!#if i have to set a boundary i will but things are fine. just needing to reduce the dashboard noise#i highly recommend setting online boundaries btw. it's so much easier than stewing and stressing and wondering if blocking is justified#to just message someone and say ''hey you're doing nothing wrong but this way of interacting bugs me so please stop''#(which i've done only to followers never to people i follow. yet.)
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trans-leek-cookie · 18 days ago
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listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.
The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.
To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.
If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take
Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"
Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.
I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.
And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).
Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)
Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?
Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.
It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware
Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy
#Mouthwashing spoilers#Rape ment#Suicide ment#SA ment#Yeah. Pronouns were kicking m fucking ass in this post. Names also bc I once called curly jimmy#if I write to much my brain stops cooperating with words#Idk. The way she brings up the locks in my mind sounds a little less like#Singular Incident and more. The lack of locks is a Very Important Boundary That's Missing#That feels like it often leads to the erosion of other important boundaries especially when someone abusive#Is specifically pushing those boundaries. Idk again. My take on it#And while Anya says ''i told you'' a part of me thinks she told him like. Y'know vaguely about the situation but probably didn't#Characterize it as assault (bc even if he didn't believe her I don't think he would ask ''who'' if he remembered her telling him#That his friend assaulted her) and was maybe not interpreting it as assault herself bc she was trying to rationalize it#Bc she's in a very isolated situation for over a year in a place where Two Whole Rooms Have Locks.#Realizing she was in the cockpit (has a lock) when Curly is assuming she's suicidal (or at least going to hurt herself)#And then she's in the medbay (has a lock) when she actually. Y'know#Idk I'm fully up to debate this. If someone has good reasoning why curly is actually worse than I think he is I'm all for it#I'm just trying to like. In the context of my beliefs understand the actions he takes and how they fit in within the timeframe#But legit watching a chronological playthrough helps A LOT bc like. Game is super impactful nonlinear#But like. That's not how the characters experienced it and it really fucks with the timeline of events intuitively#Anyway again. If u hate curly that's entirely understandable I just want to try and organize my thoughts while keeping#The timeline and my view of events relatively straight. Feel like there's sometimes a lil too much focus on how the men failed Anya#When we should focus on what Anya's needs and wants are. Which ofc from our POV characters are Hard bc. It's curly and jimmy#But still it's worth trying to understand her better than they do#Game that makes you think so much your brain becomes mouthwash
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#just make your own things away from#-endos if you hate us so much#endos/proendos: if antis want their own stuff and spaces away from us then they should make those things#anti endos: *creating atlasduo and the syspunk tag*#endos/proendos: i cant believe theyre actually doing that! wow! lets raid the tag and insult them for doing what we wanted them to!#i know this is a stretch but i cant help but feel reminded of how people would tell me to do things and then get mad at me for following-#-their exact instructions and taking them seriously. because apparently i wasnt supposed to actually do that. except now im not the victim-#-of that. and now the people who are on my side are doing that. i hate it. i hate it so much. dont say ONLY TO INVADE AND MOCK THE THINGS#also: congrats!! you are proving all of them right when they say we dont respect boundaries and crosstag!! you're making it worse!!#i can kind of understand the tag aspect simply because theyre calling themselves “punk” when theyre so fond of the psychiatric field.#but its still a dick move. and its even worse to say that if antis want versions of sp and pk that arent proendo they should make their own#-bot and app only to mock them for doing exactly that. it just reminds me too much of past experiences. i hate people that do that.#i dont care if they hate me at this point im with the anti endos on this one. and frankly im very disappointed that im actually saying this#lol.exe#blackout poetry#pro endo#endo safe#endo friendly#anti rq#radqueers fuck off#this is a new level of syscourse im yelling at my own community now
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"Can I call you 'Drias?"
"Only one person ever called me that"
"Oh! Gotcha! Too personal. Boundaries, Marcy!"
My babygirl blaming herself and her difficulty reading social cues when she didn't do anything 😭 how was she supposed to know it was "too personal"?? She automatically assumes she did something wrong she assumes she messed up my BABY
#amphibia#my posts#also andrias that is one big fat LIE both Leif and Barrel called you 'Drias#this useless fucking idiot forgot he had a whole ass boyfriend back then 😭😭😭#also -> Marcy having trouble remembering she needs to respect people's boundaries to the point she has a little mantra#to remind herself of that. + the 'prom?' poster reading 'yes or YES' = Marcy crossing the boundaries of her friendship with anne and sasha#by fantazising about going to prom with them. something stereotypically romantic#this is what my friend claude (xx century french anthropologist claude lévi-straus father of functional-structuralism) would call#the ''exaggeration'' of a bond. in his analysis of the myth of Oedipus and in how he linked it to the myth of Antigone#Oedipus incestuous relationship with his mother is analogous to Antigone violating the city laws to illegally bury her dead brother#this is: the exaggeration of a familial bond beyond the reach of what is socially acceptable (yes it's far fetched yes i know yes#yes we talked about it in class)#this is opposed to Oedipus killing his father: the underestimation of familial bonds.#which is analogous to the war between atens and sparta: slaughter among brothers#in this case Marcy's continuous violation of her friends' boundaries betrays an exaggeration of their bond#as exemplified by her ''wanting to take them to prom'' in a ''dream'' (which would be very jungian of her)#don't take my word for this tho because i got a 2 on my last exam so clearly i need to read my lévi-strauss again
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lungfuls · 2 months ago
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Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff
#he's never rly said no he just used to be like 'well whaf if i want to nap' like in the early parenting days#which evolved into 'yeah i guess'-type responses#lately he's more like 'yeah!' like his tone is less. whatever it was before#same with any requests i make in general like if he'll put e down for bed and stuff#idk my weird episode epiphany thing i went through last week has me feeling much less patient and self-questioning#it's just a fact that constantly asking myself if i'm being considerate enough of others has done nothing for me#like it hasn't even improved my relationships.. i don't really have any lol#like i'm done biting my tongue bc idk if i've properly considered their perspective.. i end up blowing up at minor things as a result anyway#like it makes me a worse partner fr#i also really feel like i've been putting daggers thru my own spirit by doing this for so long#like i need to stop troubleshooting my existence like 'what if i conform this way' 'what if i conform that way'#here's what if: you will be profoundly unhappy and no one who you love will truly know you#this is such a tangent off what i started talking about but basically i'm done reflexively wondering#every time i feel wronged disrespected etc. if actually i'm the one in the wrong. it really is reflexive#the way m's mom responded to me setting a boundary was a wake up call like apparently she just read into what i was saying too much#so hypothetically it wasn't the boundary she was angry about but how she thought i set it#but like i don't have any time for you if my extremely sincere and straightforward communication isn't good enough for you#like i'm not going to be understanding of your inability to take me at face value we didn't both fuck up. You did#and that's how i'm going to act. like You fucked up. yk
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bugcpu · 10 months ago
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i think it's really funny how people just go on the internet and tell lies
#this post is about nightheart#i went into every book following river horrified that theyd ruin him#but man im just#not#seeing it#at all#nightheart is a misogynist? nope! thats the writers#nightheart doesnt respect sunbeam's boundaries? wrong! nightheart has done nothing but respect her boundaries#nightheart undermines frostpaw's problems by comparing them to his? wrong! hes empathizing with her#its to the point im wondering if im reading the same book as you all. how did you get this impression of this dude.#i think the last one in particular stems from nightheart's conflicts not being taken seriously. yes#its dumb#this was never a prior issue for any of firestar's kin#but it is happening#and that shit is so damaging let me tell you#and also#calling him a misogynist is just gross im gonna be so fr#the AUTHORS are misogynistic. we know this. this is not our first rodeo.#that fact just seems to be projected on to nightheart instead of pointing the finger at the erins#it is misogynistic that these characters are being conveyed the way they are. but the fact remains is that its whats on the page#and nightheart has every damn right to be upset about it#AORRY I AM LIKE. PASSIONATE. ABOUT THIS. i like nightheart a lot and see myself in him#i dont think its bad if people dislike him#but a lot of the reasons ive seen arent even valid reasons because they arent accurate representations of his character#tldr; stop blaming the authors' shitty writing decisions on nightheart pleaseee 😇#nightheart#warrior cats#i would not blame anyone if u said i aint rwading allat tbh this was not meant to get so out of hand
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coquelicoq · 6 months ago
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In talking about Chaucer (p. 74), I said that, in general, puns and verbal connections of sound were unimportant and not to be sought out; and now, you will say, I have been using them to explain cruces in Shakespeare. Alas, you have touched on a sore point; this is one of the less reputable aspects of our national poet. A quibble is to Shakespeare [Johnson could not but confess] what luminous vapours are to the traveller; he follows it at all adventures; it is sure to lead him out of his way and sure to engulf him in the mire. It has some malignant power over his mind.... A quibble was for him the fatal Cleopatra for whom he lost the world, and was content to lose it. Nor can I hold out against the Doctor, beyond saying that life ran very high in those days, and that he does not seem to have lost the world so completely after all. It shows lack of decision and will-power, a feminine pleasure in yielding to the mesmerism of language, in getting one's way, if at all, by deceit and flattery, for a poet to be so fearfully susceptible to puns. Many of us could wish the Bard had been more manly in his literary habits, and I am afraid the Sitwells are just as bad.
William Empson, 7 Types of Ambiguity, ch 2 pp 100-101
i'm sorry this is so fucking funny. that pathetic loser shakespeare who loved puns so much it cost him everything, except of course his status as the most famous, most read, most immortal english-language author of all time. but everything else, he lost and it's all because of how weak he was to resist a pun :/ pouring one out for my sad little girly man who could have had it all if only he was better at writing, the thing he is the most famous guy in the world for.
even empson, who disagrees with johnson that shakespeare "lost the world", is like, too bad our favorite poet is susceptible to the thing that made him famous :/ really tragic that the guy whose wordplay we've been talking about for 300 years likes wordplay :///
also i can't get over writing a book about the types of ambiguity and NOT INCLUDING PUNS?? sorry but puns are ambiguous! that's where their juice comes from! imagine liking ambiguity so much you write a book about it but never mention puns except to dunk on them. imagine being a POET and POETRY CRITIC who looks down on sound-based ambiguity! could not be me!!
#puns are a device just as much as any other kind of ambiguity! this value judgment is hilariously nonsensical to me#why are puns bad but other ambiguities aren't? you can't just call them feminine and expect me to be like oh okay in that case#next time my dad makes a pun i'm just going to sigh sadly about his lack of decision and willpower#what a feminine pleasure in yielding to the mesmerism of language i will say. not very manly of you dad :/#i'm annoyed too because one of the types of ambiguity he respects is when one word has multiple meanings possible#in the context of the text. but that is in a sense a kind of pun. he says puns are homophonic but guess what#when one word has multiple meanings another way of saying that is that those are different words that happen to be spelled the same#that is then homophonic ambiguity! aka a fucking pun!!!!#i'm not just quibbling over the exact definition of a pun. i'm saying the boundaries are THAT porous i don't see how you could possibly#like semantic ambiguity as long as the spelling is identical but suddenly think it's facile when the spelling/etymology is different#that's not at all based in rational thinking but he's over here like 'the mesmerism of language is for girls'#pot meet kettle much???#poetry#ambiguity#puns#shakespeare#my posts#there was one other thing i was gonna say what was it. OH YEAH. he also was saying a few pages back that spelling was completely#unstandardized in shakespeare's time...so then why does it matter???#okay and one more thing. he keeps trying to convince me that various verses are syntactically ambiguous if you ignore the punctuation#okay. if we're ignoring punctuation we must be hearing it orally. which means we also don't know what spelling was used!!!!#i think probably he would say he cares more about etymology than spelling. words with different meanings that are etymologically#related are allowed and manly but words with different meanings that came from different roots are a weakness to be avoided#like i'm sorry dude but that is so arbitrary. and you are just cutting yourself off from an immensely rich body of possible ambiguities#by disallowing that kind of wordplay. why would you want to do that????
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hella1975 · 1 year ago
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sometimes i think abt how the foxes still call andrew a monster even after everything with drake and his past gets revealed and i have to throw myself off a bridge a million times to cope w that. character moment that makes me want to be compressed like a wet paper bag. do any of them even THINK ABOUT IT does it even CHANGE ANYTHING FOR THEM
STOOOOOOOOP I CANT TAKE IT I CANNT I CANT I CANT
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padawansuggest · 11 months ago
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Annnnnnnyways. That comment had me so fucked up that I forgot to eat for over 8 hours and now I’m gonna throw up if I don’t cause I need to take my pills :/
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windcarvedlyre · 6 months ago
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Genshin (of course :P) What's the funniest or craziest AU idea you've ever come up with?, What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day?, and Has your favourite character/ship changed over time?
From this ask game!
12. What's the funniest or craziest AU idea you've ever come up with?
I'm not the sort of person who has a bajillion developed AUs, but I've had this really weird concept rotating in my brain recently where... you know how in the webtoon Venti was diffused into the ground while asleep? What if some dire circumstances and distance from Mondstadt forced him to do that with a person? And his powers leaked a bit, making them almost an anemo archon lite for a while?
Originally I was thinking of Jean being the other person but I realised Kaeya would be way more interesting. Temporary anemo archon substitute Kaeya carrying around the dormant soul of a god he still has very mixed feelings about, lmao.
13. What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day?
God, so many, and the main thing holding me back is drawing human faces is suffering (and in the case of anything romantic, lack of irl experience). I'm honestly tempted to do a challenge where I draw every genshin character until I git gud.
Maybe I'll have something to contribute to zhongven nation eventually. It needs more content so I feel like it's my duty.
23. Has your favourite character/ship changed over time?
I don't think so! In terms of preferences after the favourites, maybe I wouldn't be so terminally Mondstadt brained if Diluc hadn't carried me through so much?
Shipwise diluven was my second favourite but kaeven might be overtaking it- despite having like no content- because of the sheer potential it has to be interesting. I always end up obsessed with ships that feel like they should be a trainwreck but have some way the characters could be dragged, kicking and screaming, into realising they have a ton more in common than they thought.
Furiven's growing on me a lot as well; it has a lot of potential in terms of interesting parallels between the two.
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neverendingford · 1 month ago
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#tag talk#reasons I skedaddled from the relationship a a week after joining:#I only liked one out of two. I would have totally been friends with the one I liked. just not the other one. and you can't pick just one#the annoying one called sex “the horny” and I wanted to nope the hell out of there#I tried to build emotional distance by talking about how I was leaving at the end of the year and got told "#got told 'I'll still care about you even after you're gone' which like...#I react so so poorly to people who care so much they overstep my emotional boundaries#that's like. lowkey a trigger for me. I showed off my scars and they reacted with sympathy.#sympathy over my sick-ass scars that I'm proud of. I was like 'aren't these cool?' and they reacted with sympathy. no thanks#once again.. I like men. it was an experiment but I'm done. I wanted to see what it was like and I got my taste#they go on the list of people I've had sex with only once. because I usually do not go back for a second time with people#there was a chance I could have gotten one of them to play aoe with me that's the only potential benefit I could have gotten from them#otherwise nothing I wanted. they weren't good hiking pals. not good skating buddies. lame taste in movies.#the annoying one talked about wanting to be a sugar mommy which I should have seen as another un-vibe data point#cause I don't vibe with overly generous caring people either#tbh I'd rather be hated than simped over. I can't stand cloying overbearing kindness#people like that so often act as if their kindness entitles them to you and I just.. ugh. emotional blockages in place#it switched me back to L and now I'm he him pronouns again#and lowkey I think when we move I'm gonna cut our hair. I miss it short. we made a really cute guy.#being called miss and ma'am is fine and all but damn I miss being a cute boy#anyway. my life continues to be tumultuous and it's my own damn fault. I regret nothing but I will learn from this experience
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harryforguccy · 1 month ago
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idc what people say but I like Chappell Roan, I like her attitude and her approach to fame, if she doesnt like it or doesnt want to do it or be forced fed to say some things that other people with heavy media training have done then good for her like I love that she's like fuck that shit. If she doesnt want to mold herself to your idea of being famous or doesnt "deserve" fame then who cares but she is so refreshing.
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chaoticgouda · 2 years ago
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#nonbinary#(saved this bc the first tweet op posted felt mean and made me uncomfortable)#but I still wanted to vent about this because what is restraint and boundaries online amirite#so here we go again:#I feel uncomfortable being called my irl name everywhere except at work and I feel like that’s bc the worksona i crafted#is so irontight that I’m fine being a Lady there but it low-key rankles me anywhere else#idk if that’s a gender thing or just a case of apathy and extreme alienation from myself though#I’d rather die than ever talk to my co-workers about other pronouns or anything though bc the gossip would spread throughout work within-#the hour. and it’s not like people would be really awkward about it (I hope) because I think I’m generally liked by my coworkers. but I’d#hate to be pitied or misunderstood. and it’s not like i have dysphoria or anything so I don’t personally feel justified in calling myself#trans. I’m just alienated from womanhood. but that could also be because i don’t have an interest in most socially-expected ‘woman things’#and bc I’m not mentally well or het. and that inherently separates you from the expected Girl Experience.#this is really rambly and nonsensical okay I guess if I really thought about it I’d love to be called Krill by everyone because it has less#baggage and feels more like me. but i’m not necessarily upset at being called my RL name. I don’t have dysphoria I just have mild ick.#like I’d prefer being considered a They and not being expected to be any gender at all. but it doesn’t kill me inside y’know#it’s fine.#if you read through this weird personal ramble then thanks ig?
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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wellll everything could be worse.. at least we're not stranded in the arctic for years on end with lead poisoning and a Beast out to get us 😌
#watched another ep of the terror w my roomie.. qhat a stressful show lucky im too zonked so its going over my head#shes alrwady seen so shes trying not to spoil it for me its my first time 😭#i think she might be getting a cold too. so maybe we're both just coming down w smth and thats why we're so tired#not just med crash but the fog was sooo bad i keep not being able to finish sentences and slurring my speech#luckily shes familiar enough to get the gist of what imean when im so out of it anyway so its okkkk#but ahhh..if its bad again tomorrow ill probably still be able to get through movje night i can watch from bed#but might have to miss the gym :-((( we'll see how it goes maybe itll be okay#mayhe ill take 20/20 again on thurs just so i can go.. ah i dont know we'll see we'll see#whenever i hit this stage of tiredness or illness i always just wanna cuddle so bad too ahhhh#tryung to stay focused on qhat shes saying but she kept putti g her hands in her hair and i could smell her nice shampoo#like okayyyy when is itmy turn to stroke your hair im sitting so nicely here#ahhhh okay im crazy im going to sleep#i do need to be brave and ask if we can ljke hug more sometimes or something though ahh i miss being physically affectionate with anyone#and itskind of big for me like verbal affection js nice but im more of a physical person even if i dont allow myself to express it!!!!!#and i just dont want to cross boundaries or anything or get called needy again. but so what if i am needy nothing wrong eith that#anyway to bed before i start embarrassing mysrlf goodnight everyone i love u muah#.diaries
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trashpremiium · 1 year ago
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i wish i knew how to keep friends :( making friends is… hard, but doable. if i have a reason to be near someone and they’re amenable to my Autism Beam of infodumping, i can usually make them tolerate being around me for as long as that activity lasts.
but semesters end. mutual interests fade. activities wrap up. and then those people leave. not to say i’m not thankful for however long their friendship lasted, i just wish people were more likely to want to be friends because they liked me, not because i was a body near them to spend time with.
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