#the victim as if that’s actually what happened

[hotchnerwrites]

Can I perhaps request Hotch with a BAU reader that is always kind and strong as in the team have never seen them act any different even when bad things happen to reader. One day, an UnSub breaks into their house, and reader ends up very injured and goes to the hospital. After that situation reader co.es right back to work acting as if it never happened and the team gets very concerned about reader but reader keeps telling them everything is fine until one day Hotch and reader are the only ones left at the office late at night and something happens that triggers reader making the think the UnSub that broke into their house is back to get them. Hotch comes out and sees reader having a major panick attack/flashback, but the moment the reader spots him, they try to act like they are not bothered. Hotch ses right through it and hugs reader and reader just breaks down in his arms

What Remains

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x BAU!reader

Word Count: 0.9k

Warnings: SFW, panic attack, home invasion, depiction of violence, flashbacks

A/N: Hi lovely, thanks for your request!! Just changed the beginning a tiny bit, I hope that's ok!!! I hope I described the panic attack with decent accuracy lol, idk if my own experience is similar to that of others. I really loved this idea. If you'd be ok with it, I would honestly love to make this request a full story, a lot longer with more development. Anyway, enjoy the read, and I really hope you like it!! Mwah mwah mwah <3

My requests are open. Send me stuff! :)

It happened fast. Much too fast.

One moment, you were arriving home after a late night, and the next, glass shattered, and your front door was thrown open before you could react. You had put up a struggle— shadows shifted in the dim light, your heartbeat pounded in your ears, and terror clouded your judgement. The training had kicked in eventually. You remembered to protect your abdomen and go for soft tissue.

But you weren’t invincible.

This one had the element of surprise on you. A sharp pain bloomed across your ribs as he threw you against the wall, air leaving your lungs in a strangled gasp. You didn’t back down— you clawed and scratched and screamed at everything around you. But nothing could stop the world from going black when he pistol-whipped you across the temple.

——

They were all there when you came to. Every member of the team. 

Morgan was draped across a chair, eyes filled with worry. JJ sat on your bed, fingers lightly grasped onto yours, with Emily right behind her. Garcia was next to Rossi, fidgeting with her glasses as if she’d rushed there in a panic. Even Reid was there, book in hand, though he wasn’t reading it. 

And, of course— Hotch. Removed and distant, watching from the door. But his eyes remained sharp as if tracking every micro-expression on your face, cataloguing every tiny shift in your posture and breathing.

You forced a smile, ignoring the pain lashing up your sides. “I’m fine,” you had said, voice scratchy from disuse.

The team exchanged glances. No one believed you.

“You went through a home invasion,” Rossi rumbled, “That’s not something you just brush off.”

You shrugged— wincing slightly— forcing out a chuckle. “I’m alive, aren't I?”

Hotch’s jaw tightened. “That’s not the point.”

“I’m really all right,” you repeated with some finality, shutting the conversation down. But you could feel Hotch’s gaze boring into you, even though the others reluctantly let it drop.

——

You returned to work too soon. The team knew it. You knew it.

But you had to. Because if you stayed at home, it meant thinking about what happened. It meant hearing the mirror fracturing, the door slamming, and the rasp of your voice as you screamed for your life. You couldn’t let the fear win. How many times had you said that exact thing to the family of a victim?

So you forced normalcy. Maybe if you said you were fine enough times, you’d actually start believing it. You smiled at Garcia’s ramblings, entertained Derek’s teasing and exchanged theories with Reid.

Eventually, the team forgot. They trusted you were better. You were starting to believe that, too.

But Hotch wasn’t fooled.

He watched you like a hawk, day in and day out. He noted how you avoided talking about the attack, the way you tensed when you heard the word ‘home’. He watched you as you acted the role of someone who had moved on.

He wasn’t buying it.

——

The panic attack hit when you least expected it.

Some stupid sound triggered it; you had no idea what. It could’ve been anything— a door creaking or a chair shifting. Whatever it was, you suddenly weren’t in the BAU anymore.

You were there again. 

The office disappeared. The air was thick, suffocating you as it forced itself down your throat. The walls of your apartment were closing in around you, and you could feel everything and nothing at all. 

Your breath hitched. Your vision tunnelled. Your fingers trembled violently as you gripped your chair to ground yourself. But your body betrayed you, kicking itself into high drive. Your ribs hurt again, the phantom pain searing across your skin like he’d thrown you into the wall all over again.

Then— “Hey.”

A voice. Familiar, dulcet and steady.

Aaron.

You flinched as he neared you, brain oscillating between past and present, fear and reality. But he stopped a few feet away, palms exposed towards you, body language careful and measured.

You suck in a breath, “I’m— I’m fine.”

His brows stitched together. “No, you are not.”

“Please, Hotch. I just— I just need a minute.”

He didn’t move. He just watched. Waiting, letting you decide.

The minute wasn’t nearly enough. In an effort to normalise your breathing, you’d begun hyperventilating. Your head was spinning. This wasn’t working. You weren’t okay, and Hotch knew it. Before you could wave him off, he closed the distance between you, carefully placing his palms on your shoulders. 

The warmth was grounding. Aaron was real. Aaron was solid. The phantom touches crawling across your skin were not.

“Look at me,” he murmured, voice soft but authority evident.

You did what he said. You had no energy to protest. And one look into his coffee-coloured eyes was all it took. The dam broke.

You gulped cool air in, breath catching on a sob you hadn’t meant to let out. But you persevered, taking one breath after another. Aaron didn’t say a word. He didn’t tell you to relax, to calm down, or force you to speak. He just held you, anchoring your consciousness to the present.

Minutes passed, maybe even hours.

When your heartbeat finally settled, Aaron spoke again. 

“You don’t have to keep pretending.”

Your fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt, crumpling it. “I can’t stop,” you whispered.

Aaron’s grip on you tightened, ever so slightly. “Then let me help you.”

For once you didn’t argue.

Thank you for reading!I appreciate any likes/comments/reblogs/follows. Constructive criticism is welcome. Do not plagiarise my content and/or post it anywhere without crediting me.

Dividers by @/cafekitsune

[hannibalbabygirlifier]

Mulling on. I do think people tend to characterize hannibal as low emotion but I’d argue it’s actually the polar opposite, I think he’s an extremely emotionally driven high sensitivity character. It’s just. Not always the emotional responses that are socially acceptable. I think he is also extremely good at repression, compartmentalization, and forms of disassociation that are the learned skills of someone with the emotional skin of a third degree burn victim.

That being said, I think one area of emotion he is almost completely numb that helps him operate the way he does, is he has almost no fear. In his own ways he does have empathy, regret, guilt, etc although not nearly as often as he should, but the part of his brain/emotions that feels fear is often completely non existent.

I think that’s very much an effect of extreme trauma. The worst happens, what is there left to fear? You’ve already seen hell and survived. You’re living on borrowed time and have defied death and god, you might as well do whatever you want. What could you possibly fear after that.

This makes an interesting contrast to will, who is introduced to us as being almost entirely fear. It is his number one driving force. It’s hard to narrow down the things Hannibal saw in him right away, but I do think that it’s interesting that a man who has conquered his fear through suffering and feels he is better for it meets a man who is driven by and in shackles of fear, and wonders if he is put through the worst so there is nothing left to fear, what beautiful thing will be there when the shackles are gone?

[morlock-holmes]

So, the reason you write the story this way, (And I wonder if I pointed this out at the time) is not necessarily that you're just naive.

Although frankly nothing but the best if you've lived life among civilized people and being subjected to utterly pointless violence from uncivilized thugs comes as a surprise to you.

But no, the reason you write the story this way is that there are fence sitters, so to speak:

People who are okay with police violence against "Lawless rioters destroying downtown and assaulting innocent victims" but aren't so sanguine about violence against "Peaceful reporters documenting the riots"

I reblogged this story about Jasmine Mooney, a Canadian who was detained for two weeks in truly appalling conditions, because... Well, nobody can really tell, because ICE is stupid, overworked, and allowed to be gratuitously cruel and wasteful for no reason.

People responded to that story by saying,

"Well, this doesn't happen to you if you just obey the law."

Read the story, at no point was Mooney accused of breaking a law.

"Well, this doesn't happen to you if you do what the authorities say and follow all the steps to get into the country the right way."

Mooney was fully cooperative with the process at all times and entirely willing to leave the country if her visa was denied.

In fact, she spent two weeks in prison trying to convince the US authorities to let her go back to Canada while they forced her to remain in the US.

Basically everybody who wants to defend that story has to ignore it and make up their own story about what happened, because

"People who willingly cooperate with the process to get a temporary work visa should be put in prison for weeks if the government says that they can continue to work for the American company but must do so from Canada" is just not something that most strong borders advocates will actually say.

So you get the people who deal with the cognitive dissonance by making things up, but you hope that you start to get reasonable but simply uninformed people, the kind of people who will say, "Well, I may be for strong borders but this is crazy."

Same with the police stuff: You are hoping to get the people who will say, "I'm okay with dispersing the riots, but the cops shouldn't assault journalists."

it continues to amaze me how often Americans have to literally get on their knees in front of police

[pokemon-radical-red]

I love posting about transandrophobia because someone will be like “I actually think you’re minimizing the victims of abuse by gaslighting by implying that people do this to trans men about their own oppression. Don’t water down these terms.”

At the same time, someone else will be commenting on my other post like “ACTUALLY! This has literally never happened. You’re making it up to sound oppressed. And if it did happen, then you obviously chose to misinterpret someone’s words. And if it was what they meant, then you probably did something to trigger it. I’d love the hear the other side of this story! Stop making stuff up to victimize yourself omggg.”

[writingdevil]

hiii! if you're still doing writing requests then may i ask for paracold? i loved the fic you did of them before and how you write the voices in general <3

(YES!! PARACOLD!! I love them, if you couldn't tell. I got straight up possessed the last time I wrote them and I'm actually really proud of how that one came out, so I hope this one will be just as good. Enjoy!)

Paranoid had hoped that once they had been allowed freedom and physical forms, that maybe his fears and anxiety would lessen. But of course, why would that ever be the case?

He thought that things would actually be better for him if he only had himself to worry about, but it became very clear very fast that his mind was a prison.

No matter how peaceful and safe their lives now were, Paranoid's mind just couldn't stop coming up with worst case scenarios, turning every little fear into a wriggling mass of terror within him.

Some instances, he could manage to get under control with a few minutes to himself-remind himself that he was safe, and if that terrible thing was true, then the best course of action was to distrust it, and keep himself and his flock safe.

A lot of his fears came from danger, and the fear of experiencing the trauma he had in the past again, but funnily enough, those were the fears that Paranoid had an easier time with controlling, because he's experienced that type of stress plenty of times now, so he knows how to deal with it.

But then Paranoid was surprised to find that there were other, more emotional fears, that he was now a victim of, ever since getting his own body.

He always cared and worried about his flock, but now he found himself thinking and reflecting on how the others saw him-quite a lot now.

Does Skeptic truly see him as crazy? Is he sometimes too harsh on Broken when he doesn't need to be? Is Hero sick of calming him down after all this time?

While these thoughts plagued him frequently, there was one that continued to torment him every second of the day.

Will Cold lose interest in him?

There was nobody more surprised than Paranoid when he found himself slowly being pulled into Cold's orbit, until the two of them formed an attraction that was both exhilarating and relaxing at the same time.

Cold offered him relief when things got too intense. He didn't immediately see his fears as crazy, instead calmly talking sense to him, helping him see his fears as less daunting than what Paranoid believed them to be.

Cold made Paranoid feel safe and stable when his mind tried to trick him otherwise-along with a million other things he could say about Cold.

But despite how his heart beat wildly for the other bird, the one thing that his mind kept getting fixated with, was the thought of Cold getting bored of him.

Everyone knows what Cold's deal was at this point, how he wanted to seek out the unknown and intriguing, and numb the mundane. Surprisingly, his search led him to Paranoid.

Cold insisted that everything about Paranoid interested him, from how he would conceptualise his fears, to their differing beliefs, and how Paranoid refused to leave Cold in his state of nothingness.

But would that interest fade away with time? What would happen when Cold discovered all he needed to about Paranoid?

Would he leave Paranoid?

That was the current fear that was always eating away at him in the back of his mind, that Cold would get rid of him one day, and all their time together would have been nothing more than measly fun for him.

Every time that they embraced, every kiss that they shared-Paranoid was constantly fearing that it would be the last one, and he would never get a chance to experience those soft moments again.

Paranoid knew it wasn't healthy. He definitely knew it wasn't fair to Cold, to be assuming these things about him, but once the thought entered his head, he couldn't get it out, to the point that it was beginning to taint the happy times he still got to share with Cold.

It got to the point that Paranoid had trouble sleeping-well, he always had trouble with that-but more so with Cold-like tonight, for example.

Currently, it was the middle of the night, and Paranoid's mind was tormenting him once again, and he just stared at a random spot on the wall, waiting pointlessly for sleep as his tired eyes burned.

He could feel Cold behind him, the soft rise and fall of his chest against Paranoid's back, one arm draped over his waist, and his cool breath hitting the back of his neck, sending pleasant shivers down his spine.

Usually being held like this made Paranoid feel safe, but then he started to try and memorise the way Cold's body felt against his own, and then that led to another spiral of painful anxiety.

Paranoid's body felt restless, with a need to toss and turn to try and escape these emotions. But every time he so much as nudged away or even twitched, Cold would just sigh deeply and pull Paranoid even closer against him.

Paranoid sighed in defeat, attempting to shove his face further into his pillow to try and escape his messy thoughts, when he suddenly felt Cold mumble into the back of his neck, "Why aren't you asleep?"

Paranoid froze, trying to ignore what the low, raspy tone of Cold's voice was doing to him, and attempted to act asleep, hoping Cold would believe him, but then he felt Cold shuffle behind him, moving his head to whisper into his ear, "I know you're awake. Your body is as stiff as a rock."

Paranoid sighed, shifting awkwardly in Cold's grip. "Sorry," he muttered, "can't sleep."

"Why? What's wrong now?"

Paranoid tried to hide his flinch at the question, gripping the sheets tight as he said, "Nothing's wrong. I just can't sleep."

Cold chuckled behind him, and Paranoid could feel Cold's gaze wandering all over him, as he replied in amusement, "You're a terrible liar."

Paranoid sighed again, more harshly this time, and twisted his body around so that he was staring up at the ceiling. He refused to look at Cold as he said, "It's the truth. I'm just struggling to fall asleep, but I'll be fine. You don't have to stay awake for me."

Even if he wasn't looking at Cold, he could definitely feel the eye roll of the other, and then Cold's arm squeezed him once as he said, "Hard to fall asleep when I can feel the panic coming from you."

Paranoid turned his head away, but then a wave of icy air hit him as Cold sighed-and then Cold suddenly twisted around and moved to sit up above him and lean over him, grabbing Paranoid by the jaw with one hand and the other holding onto his hip.

Cold gently turned his head to face him, and Paranoid gulped at the sight of Cold's piercing eyes in the dark.

Cold stared down at him in silence for a few seconds, before his eyes narrowed and he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I told you, nothing's wrong."

"It's never nothing with you. There's always a reason why you can't fall asleep, so tell me."

Paranoid gritted his teeth in frustration, but one tap of Cold's finger against his jaw made his muscles relax against his will. Paranoid hated how easy it was to relax around Cold.

They sat there in silence, and Paranoid hoped that he could just wait it out, that if he was stubborn long enough, Cold would lose interest and leave Paranoid to his insomnia-but he didn't.

Paranoid sighed in defeat, and he caught the subtle quirk of Cold's lips, but he ignored it, in favour of looking down at Cold's chest, and quietly said, "There's just something on my mind that I can't stop worrying about."

"I gathered that," Cold said, and Paranoid shot him an annoyed glare. "What's got you worked up this time?"

Paranoid fisted the sheets underneath him, and despite the weight on his chest, he knew that there was no way to avoid this.

He looked at anything that wasn't Cold's face as he hesitantly said, "I've been worrying about something-important, and it involves you, but I don't want you to take it the wrong way."

"I doubt I will." Cold's hold on his jaw loosened up, until he was just caressing it, and Paranoid's eyes fluttered shut at the touch, but before he could fully enjoy it-those thoughts came back.

Thoughts telling him that Cold was only doing this to get him to go asleep, that Paranoid was wasting Cold's time by acting like this, that tonight was when Cold realised that he was too much work to be considered interesting anymore, and end things.

"Hey."

Suddenly, Paranoid was thrown back into reality, and blinked up at Cold, who had leaned further down to him, and was also starting to run his hand up and down his side, comforting him.

"Get out of your head-it's a mess in there. Focus on me."

Paranoid did. He focused on the feel of Cold's soft touches, grounding him to this moment, and Cold even blew a puff of cold air to soothe him-and then Paranoid knew.

Paranoid knew he couldn't keep these thoughts in his head any longer.

"I've been thinking about you, about us, and our future."

Cold was patiently silent.

"I-I-guess I've just been worrying about what will happen in the future."

"What kind of things?" Cold asked, and Paranoid lowered his head in shame. "It's-It's really stupid and dumb-and I know that. But I can't stop thinking about it."

"What is it?"

"What if-" Paranoid paused, taking a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for disappointment, annoyance, or even hurt, from Cold. "What if you get bored of me?"

There. It was out.

The silence was unbearable, and Paranoid forced himself to look Cold in the eye, to try and figure out how he was feeling.

But Cold's face was just blank as he looked down at him, and Paranoid was beginning to think that this was the end-when Cold hummed thoughtfully, and said, "You're right. That is a very dumb thought."

Instead of getting annoyed, Paranoid jumped right to defending himself. "I'm sorry-I know it's wrong to think-I just-"

"You're worried about becoming boring around me?" Cold asked, and Paranoid tensed up at the question, but still nodded. He looked away as he said, "It's just-what if I become predictable and dull to you?" His nerves crept back up in that moment. "You wouldn't want to be with someone that doesn't make you feel anything, and the last thing I'd want to feel like you forcing yourself to do things with me-"

"I wouldn't see a point in pretending to like something with you," Cold calmly argued, and Paranoid still couldn't tell if he was offended or not. "We'd just be wasting each other's time."

A small bit of tension left Paranoid's body at Cold's words. He was right. Cold would never play along for the sake of another's feelings. He did what he believed needed to be done, sparing no one, not even Paranoid.

He found a comfort in that, that Cold would never let them play along in a relationship that was long past dead.

Cold stroked a thumb along Paranoid's jawline, and Paranoid tried not to lose focus in that moment. "So," Cold continued, "I think it's safe to say that I'm not forcing myself to be around you."

"But what if that still happens?" Paranoid nervously asked, trying to move his head away from Cold's grip, but to no avail. "Not the pretending, but the fact that one day you might seek something that I can't give you anymore."

Paranoid suddenly felt tears welling up in his eyes, and he tried to sharply turn his head away, but Cold quickly cupped Paranoid's cheek to keep them facing each other.

Paranoid unsuccessfully tried to bat Cold's hand away, and in a fit of frustration he snapped, "Stop that! You're not helping!"

Cold's eyes froze Paranoid to the spot as he countered with in a low voice, "Endlessly worrying about how our relationship could end also doesn't strike me as helpful."

They locked eyes for what felt like forever.

But Paranoid broke first.

All the fight left his body, and he slumped in Cold's hold, leaning further into his hand.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling utterly disgusted with himself. "I'm sorry for thinking those things about you. I'm awful."

"You're not awful," Cold softly argued, him being the one to avoid eye contact this time. "You're just scared, and you can't help that."

"Would it be so bad," Cold began tentatively, his hand on Paranoid's hip delicately brushing the feathers, "If I lost interest in you? Why does that scare you so much? If anything, I'll just be one less thing to worry about."

Paranoid's hand reached up to grab at the hand cupping his cheek, wrapping his fingers around Cold's chilly wrist. His gaze softened as he took in Cold's-mostly-blank face, but Paranoid could see the darkness clouding in his eyes, and he gave his wrist a small squeeze to get his attention.

Cold looked back at him, and Paranoid felt his face burn as he admitted, "It scares me because then that would mean everything we did didn't mean as much to you. It would make me feel-like you had taken a piece of me and thrown it away, and I wouldn't be able to get it back."

He didn't want that. He didn't want to go through that pain. He's seen the way Broken and Smitten can get, and he's scared of breaking like that.

Cold could have all of Paranoid's pieces, so long as he wishes to cherish them.

Cold's eyes widened slightly at that, and Paranoid wanted to keep apologising, for thinking the worst of Cold, for questioning his loyalty to Paranoid-but before he could, Cold hummed again, getting his attention.

"I mean that much to you?" he asked, and Paranoid couldn't tell if he was asking for clarification, or was genuinely surprised. Either way, Paranoid's heart began to race, and he found that words weren't coming to his head fast enough, so he just nodded.

Then Cold surprised Paranoid by laughing-letting soft, amused chuckles spill out of him, and Paranoid just stared, wide eyed up at his partner, having no idea if this reaction was good or bad.

Cold's eyes flashed with amusement, and he leaned down, close enough that Paranoid could trace the feathers on the other's face, sticking out and ruffled from his slumber, and Paranoid wanted nothing more than to just gently run his fingers through them and preen them back into place.

The intensity in Cold's lidded eyes made Paranoid's breath hitch, as Cold whispered into the darkness, "Well, unfortunately, I find myself captivated by you."

Paranoid's response was nothing more than a hushed breath, "Why?"

Cold trailed the hand that had been at his side, up to his chest, right where his pounding heart was. He shrugged and said, "I always feel like you have the most interesting and useful outlook. My mind keeps going back to you, because I know you'll give me what I want. You feel so much, so much so that you're even in charge of the automatic nervous system. Who wouldn't want to peer inside your mind?"

"But that's just curiosity," Paranoid argued, and he wasn't sure why he was arguing against Cold on their relationship. "Your curiosity will fade, and you'll know everything you need to know. There's only so much of me that can keep your attention."

Paranoid was just terrified of being abandoned, as if he was nothing more than a tool for someone to use, as if he didn't have his own feelings on the matter. Cold wasn't evil, Paranoid knew this, but Cold also never let himself get weighed down by things that he deemed useless.

Paranoid just didn't want to be one of those useless things.

Cold studied him for a few seconds, and then he asked him, "Can you remind me who asked who out?"

The question surprised Paranoid, but the answer still immediately came to his head. "You did."

Cold nodded, rubbing his thumb over his cheek softly. "That's right. I wouldn't get involved with something or someone if I didn't think I could commit to it."

Paranoid looked away, ashamed-but Cold wouldn't let him. He always made sure Paranoid's eyes were on him.

"I'm not mad at you for thinking like that. You've spiralled over less important things. Honestly, I'm surprised it took you this long to have worries about us."

That actually got a chuckle out of Paranoid, and the heaviness in his heart lessened, especially when he saw the upward quirk of Cold's mouth.

Cold continued to gently rub his cheek as he said, "Even if I learn every tick and tell of yours, every path you could go down, I'll always find myself gravitating towards you."

"You don't think you'll get bored and sick of me?" Paranoid asked, and Cold shook his head, moving his hand down from his cheek and back to his jaw.

"What if it's not boredom in the end but-satisfaction? Contentment?" Cold suggested and-oh, oh Paranoid hadn't thought of that.

Cold smirked as the realisation showed on Paranoid's face, and he leaned back a bit, with a satisfied glint in his eyes.

"I can see myself sticking with you until the end," Cold said, and Paranoid's body was beginning to relax again, and all the tension and anxiety that had gripped his mind was starting to leave him, and his arms found themselves wrapping around Cold's middle.

Paranoid gave the other a small smile and teased, "Till death do us part? How romantic of you."

But then Cold went, "Oh, no," chuckling in a sinister tone as he leaned up straight to fully loom over Paranoid, his grip on his jaw tightening like at the start of this confrontation.

His eyes were shining with a dark promise as he whispered, "Death won't keep you from me."

Paranoid's breath hitched-and then suddenly his feathers were fluffing up without his consent, and he realised in a moment of mortification that he was swooning over Cold's words.

Cold realised this too, as Paranoid heard his breath also hitch-and then the next thing Paranoid knew, Cold was swiftly leaning down to press their lips together.

Paranoid sighed into the kiss, finally feeling as if he had been released from a dark prison of his own making, and now he was free to love his partner again without any fear.

The kiss was soft and firm, filling Paranoid with a warmth that spread all across his body. It was a reassuring kiss-one that let him know that Cold was here and he wants to be.

Paranoid's eyes began to droop, and his movements started to slow, until Cold broke the kiss with a content sigh, leaning down to half lay on Paranoid, one arm wrapped across his chest firmly, and Cold tucked his face into the crook of Paranoid's neck, and he pressed a final kiss there, making Paranoid sigh in relief.

"Now," Cold mumbled, "go to sleep. It's far too late to be thinking about anything this deeply."

Paranoid chuckled, nuzzling his face against Cold's, feeling himself slip deeper and deeper into slumber.

"Okay," he mumbled, "sorry again."

"It's fine. Goodnight."

"G'night Cold," Paranoid whispered, struggling to stay awake at this point, and he was about to let sleep take over him when he whispered, "I love you."

Paranoid fell asleep, not aware of how Cold stiffened at his words, staring at Paranoid for a long, long time.

He was also still asleep when Cold decided to lean into his ear, and whisper three certain words back to him.

[firestorm09890]

figured out something I’ve been idly spinning on for a long time while assigning pokemon to the sinners, of all things

It’s about Meursault

I believe his Canto will be about dehumanization. Again. Even though we’ve already seen it multiple times and will probably see it even more. But hey, Limbus Company is a game about the experience of living in this bitch of a world despite it all and dehumanization is a struggle that comes in many forms.

It might be obvious that his canto would do that, considering the murder, but I actually think the discussion of how his victim, whoever it may have been (since The City seems to be over our version of racism and colonialism in favor of… other shit + Classism EX), was not treated as an equal class of citizen as Meursault (this is actually false. more on that next paragraph), will be secondary to Meursault’s own dehumanization.

In his source, he, a settler in French Algiers, kills an unnamed Arab. It is clear that any other white settler would have gotten away with it with a slap on the wrist- the court expected his trial to go quickly and for the main event of the day to be a different trial- but Meursault in particular is not afforded that privilege because the court believes him to be inhuman for- you guessed it- not crying at his mother's funeral. And also being an atheist and going out with his girlfriend the day after that funeral and asking for a cigarette when he wasn't supposed to and only a tiny bit the part where he shot the corpse 4 times, the point is it's over the stupid stuff not the stuff that matters

“[The prosecutor] said that he had peered into [my soul] and that he had found nothing, gentlemen of the jury. He said the truth was that I didn’t have a soul and that nothing human, not one of the moral principles that govern men’s hearts, was within my reach.”

In other words, this is a narrative about how quickly someone who you might think is part of the in-group can be cast out. He’s The Stranger, if you will.

N Corp is the Wing that values the concept of "humanity" perhaps the most in the entire City and I'm certain he has history with that view working to his detriment.

What's actually more important than what's happening within the story is "the cold, uncaring gaze of the anonymous masses"- the real world, that is- not that it's not all happening in-universe too.

I'm pretty sure jokes explicitly calling Meursault a robot have fallen to the wayside (though I don't exactly look for them so I'm not sure) in favor of the joke that Meursault can do literally anything if he is ordered to. He can become S Tier. He can manifest EGO. He could, I don't know, defeat Goku if Dante told him to. And so the tone changes, but... the sentiment doesn't. He's superhuman now, not subhuman, but he's still not a normal human.

The same goes for how the other sinners treat him. He's a wonderful source of information, almost like an encyclopedia. He can run fast with perfect breathing and he's strong and he can give massages. He is the perfect man- something I have seen said on a few of my Meursault posts. The easy solution to any physical problem.

Even his quirk of not being a good judge of when he should be taking action or telling people about things doesn't really matter anymore, since it has an easy "fix"- just telling him exactly what you want to be done. Goodness knows he's capable of it.

Even Vergilius seems to add to this view of him- Meursault gets one of the very few positive special voicelines from him in the announcer booth.

And the only announcer line of his to individual sinners that can't be read in a backhanded way.

He is less than human, or he is more than human. How does Meursault himself feel about any of this? Does he care? His input is valued more than before, which is great, but he still really just expresses observations and recites objective facts, not opinions and personal values.

...They don't actually like his personal values very much. Of the three occasions I can think of where he talks about what he thinks, Heathcliff in particular reacts negatively and loudly to all of them- the first is seen above, from Canto III; the third is in Canto VI, when Meursault had to go "hey I'm not finished talking yet", and though Heathcliff was Going Through It I think he also had it in his mind that he and Meursault do not tend to agree on courses of action; and the second is this one from Canto IV

(Heathcliff's words after Dante says they're going to help)

Keep an eye on this Meursault reaction. When Canto X comes out next year I'm sure we'll find out what those ellipses mean.

I believe that in his canto, the incredible, flawless image of him that the sinners have all built up in their minds will be torn down and they'll all have to contend with that. Heavy speculation, but maybe they'll even turn on him for a little bit, unable to cope with the shock that he's done something so terrible.

You know, how parasocial relationships and cancel culture works in real life.

As much as I like the idea of him having some connection to distortion (Carmen as the sun from the book is just too good), I think if he's anything but 100% human it cheapens his story. He's the perfect specimen by N Corp standards, and he's still not good enough, by metrics he could never hope to understand.

That is how I think The Stranger will be adapted.

[kalessinsdaughter]

Smugly reblogging that post about Syria slaughtering Alawites is so disgusting and dishonest but then again who would ever expect a zionist to tell the truth. Most of us are vocally outspoken against HTS (who have been openly supportive of Israel since their takeover of Syria), but the only reason you don’t know that is because you feel comfortable making up our beliefs in your head, because at the end of the day you’re a liar to your core and you know it

Alright, nonny. Let's unpack this.

You know who I've seen being outspoken against the massacre? Jews on Tumblr. Before the massacre, I also saw them vocally outspoken against HTS for being islamist and authoritarian, and worrying about what this might mean for Syrians in general, and women, LGBTQ people and ethnic and religious minorities in particular.

You know who I haven't seen being outspoken against the massacre? Pro-Palestinian Tumblr. I have only seen them trying to disprove that a massacre happened at all.

But I have to concede you this point:

Before the massacre, I actually did see a few (very few) of them being vocally outspoken against HTS. For allegedly being supported by/supportive of Israel (and the USA).

And I have to thank you for pointing out my (glaringly obvious) omission to ways pro-Palestinian Tumblr can comfortably reconcile the cognitive dissonance when islamist groups don't behave like perfect victims: associate them with Israel and blame the Jews.

I don't expect you to believe that this wasn't a deliberate lie by omission. But truly, it was pure forgetfulness. Because believe me, your argument only illustrates my point further, and I wish I had included it in my original comment.

Comment this ask is referring to:

[theflashjaygarrick]

Hate how one of the only analyses of Mia Dearden from a feminist perspective I can find (outside of awesome Tumblr meta) is one of those pop-'feminist' readings that some how ends up feeling more sexist then the actual source material.

Like in what world is Quiver arguing Mia is somehow responsible for being a human trafficking victim? Or that it's a 'scared straight' warning of what happens if you're not a 'good girl'? How is it not a story about recovering from abuse and reclaiming both your agency and your girlhood?

Why are you pulling the 'why didn't you leave' card on a teenage girl? Why are you ignoring her history of abuse and how that would impact the way she sees the world and interacts with older men? Or the way that Green Arrow was the first adult man in her life to say "you know, this isn't right. You're a child". The fact that she didn't know there was a safe place to go until he gives her the card to the youth centre (which is also not mentioned in the article btw). Also I know Madonna/Whore is a concept in feminist criticism but calling her a "literal and metaphorical whore" is far more disgusting and victim-blaming than the comic ever got.

Also sure she's reliant somewhat on Ollie (she's a kid, she shouldn't have to be fully self-reliant) but acting as if she's taught to be subservient to him is an odd take. She is consistently disagreeing and pushing boundaries. In fact her becoming Speedy is a situation where rejects his (and Roy and Dinah's) protective idea of what's best for her to become who she wants and needs to be. And does she get punished for exerting individual agency by the narrative? No. She becomes a superhero and a teen titan.

Also calling her having HIV her being punished by the narrative is also a strange reading when Winnick deliberately wrote her to show HIV doesn't mean your life is over or you're a bad person. Something which a lot of media still pushes.

You can obviously criticise the way Mia Dearden is written (particularly as an abuse and human trafficking survivor, something which I am not) but the way this went about that framed left me very annoyed.

[eurynam]

(typing it here bc apparently it was too much for the tags)

okay so our first ever fight that was like reaaally really bad was when we moved to a very very faraway land like away from the kingdom where he's lived his whole life bc. he's actually tried to commit treason but i begged the queen (his sister) to spare him bc well i mean, he did the crime but he lost his memories. so yeah i did just quite that, unsure if it was out of love bc honestly at that time i've no clue (and still do) what love actually looks like but at that moment i wanted to save him. to be with him. i guess that was enough of a reason for me to beg on my knees for a man i was serving while he was out there ruining himself to have the kinda love his love has been giving to another man (she was married)

honestly he was def really problematic but idk. they say love is blind and i guess you can call me like that woman who poured bleach all over her eyes because she thinks she did not deserve the blessing of sight. i guess in a way, we're the same. except for different reasons at all

so yeah. i promised the queen that if he ever comes back for whatever reasons she can have my throat (and technically his head too bc definitely the people would want him dead) so yeah we travelled to many places first before reaching the place where we lived before. it was just me and him and obviously he's asleep in the carriage and tbh idk when was he going to wake up and what am i even going to do when that happens but yeah i already did what i did so like what's the worse that could happen

then fast forward to 2-3 years later. we have a house on a top of a hill that's away from the neighborhood but not so far that id have to cross mountains or run for an hour to reach the capital. just enough distance from anyone bc i was scared someone might recognize him bc he's quite the eye candy — can confirm btw cuz i myself have been a victim to his face.

except one peaceful workday. i came home at sunset from farm work and doing laundry. also a little side note: i worked a lot of my shit to buy like a high quality bedding for him bc he's a royalty and i can tell even when he's unconscious that he's uncomfortable with like, thin (?) blanket and a hard (for him, i think) mattress. even though it was not quite like exactly the bed he used to sleep on before.

for the angst lovers: tell me about the first problem you encountered in your relationship with your f/o 🫵

[playerprincess]

What’s with MC‘s Curse ??

I don’t think I have seen anyone talk and theorize about MC‘s Curse/Powers (whatever you‘d like to call it), and wanted to share my thoughts on it with the limited knowledge that we have.

If you have your own theories please share them, I‘d love to hear what everyone else thinks!

(Disclaimer: English isn’t my first language and I have a hard time translating my thoughts, so I hope you can understand what I‘m getting at anyways 😭)

All we really know from the Demo is that our Curse "changes" the people that we touch. The only time we really saw the effects of our abilities is when we meet the traveler and he grabs our wrist.

The game only says it affects people when we touch them, but we didn’t really put our hands on the Traveler at all. They were touching our wrist. Does that mean our curse does not only activate when our hands are touched, but also our wrist? What area of our hands/arms is affected by this?

From what part of our hand does the curse activate and where would it be safe to touch us?

What I also find interesting is that our touch isn’t a direct death sentence. It’s not a lethal touch. The way MC describes it, it only "changes" people. But change how? Their faces contort into a wide grin and they attempt to kill us. So it’s not like we have a Shigaraki type ability (look up My Hero Academia for context). I‘m really curious in what way the MCs powers alter people‘s minds.

I also believe the choice of language regarding MC and their curse is very much intentional. (As in "curse" instead of "powers" or "abilities" and "changing people" instead of a "cursing them back" or anything along the lines of "hurting them")

I also find interesting that the people affected by our curse attempt to strangle us, wich apparently seems to have happened before from what MC describes. They’re driven to madness sure, but I just wonder by what. Does our curse perhaps cause hallucinations?

I‘m also reminded of a scene in the hunger games mockingjay part 1, after rescuing Peeta. While being tortured by the capitol, he was injected with a venom from a hallucination inducing animal (Tracker jacker) to initially manipulate his thoughts on Katniss. Because of this, he starts to associate her with terrible things like the bombing of district 12 and sees her as an actual threat to himself and others. After he’s rescued and meets Katniss again for the first time, he immediately tries to strangle her. Perhaps our abilities work similar to the tracker jacker venom, causing the "victim" to see us as a threat and trigger their fight or flight response, causing them to to defend themselves.

When we meet Vere, who is a Monster, he pulls us closer and says "Looks like we’re both…" wich also confused me. Perhaps MC isn’t as human as we might assume. But if we were, Mhin would obviously dislike us right? Maybe we’re just a rare case, a supernatural being that somehow goes undetected by the main cast. Or maybe they know and just don’t let it be known. Maybe we’re not quite monster but also not quite human (a secret third thing). It seems like there’s something he knows that we don’t, or perhaps that we’re actively trying to conceal.

In the unnamed MC origin, it is stated that initially MC‘s curse used to be celebrated as a touch of enlightenment. I just wonder how they came to that conclusion, judging by what happens when someone gets touched by MC. Why did the priests believe that turning mad to the point of trying to strangle their precious oracle was any sort of divine epiphany? I‘m just so curious about this specific origin. Additionally to this, the game states that we experience "unnatural premonitions" that rattle your body and soul". While we‘re able to cast spells in the Alchemist origin and can detect magic, these premonitions seem to be something different entirely. Is it part of the curse? Is that just something that happens when you grow up around priests? I don’t know, seems like some hidden ability.

I also wonder if the effects of the curse are just the result of MC not being able to control it. Maybe it’s not really a curse, but rather some sort of power that can be controlled if you practice? They never learned how to keep their powers at bay, so naturally they turn everyone they touch insane. I mean, after getting attacked everytime you touch someone who would come to the conclusion that their powers aren’t actually harmful?

We also don’t know if the state of madness can be reverted somehow. All we know is that the people MC touch go insane and immediately attempt to murder them. But what would happen if they were taken away from MC? Would they attempt to kill everyone else as well or is it just us? Are they still capable of acting "normal" once the trigger (MC) is removed?

Lastly… those edgy ass bandages…

Also MC is so goddamn edgy for using bandages, like come on man, you can’t tell me that that’s more comfortable than just wearing gloves. But to cut them some slack, gloves are a bit impractical and not as easy to find, so who am I to judge. And as I said before, we don’t know the specific area our curse is activated on. Maybe normal gloves don’t cover ourselves enough. With bandages, you can kind of pick how much of your skin you want to cover. Of course long gloves exist, but I think they’re a bit harder to find than regular ones. So maybe the bandages aren’t actually such a bad idea.

I think there‘s a lot of potential and I‘m really looking forward to the release of the game to find out!

I can’t wait any longer guys I‘m going insane

Let me know what you think

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

FOR THE GIVE ME A CHARACTER, CAN YOU DO TWO BIT

OFC I CAN HON!!! (ask game here!!)

Two Bit is unfortunately one of those characters I never talk about but I need you to know I have him vibratin at lightnin speeds in my brain. He's easy to misunderstand I fear. both in n out of canon which is kinda the tragedy of his character I s'ppose. he's a joke. a he's the comic relief. he knows he ain't worth nothin. his self esteem is the worst you've ever seen. he talks like he thinks he's hot shit. he drinks for courage n drinks for distance n drinks cause no one ever stops him. he thinks he's stupid. he goes to school cause that's where his friends are! n cause he don't think he could ever hold down a job. he's terrified a endin up like his dad. he wants to make his ma proud. he knows he can't. he falls victim to the same fallacy as soda. he looks fine. so no one ever asks him more.

my ships for two!! unfortunately I don't really go for any two bit ships!! I think him n marcia are cute but it don't really pique my interest enough to really explore (I'm so sorry to my marbit lovers!! I think they're sweet!! honest!!)

as far as non romantic relationships/ friendships I adore my GOD do NOT get me goin on Steve, Soda, Two trio. they are kinda. everythin to me. two's always dickin around the DX n buggin Steve n Soda when he skips! they get REAL into startin a band!! once a month two of em get overly involved on a prank on the other!! they are perhaps the most chaotic trio in tusla!! not an ounce a sense between them n the means to get into any typa trouble a person could possibly get into!! I could go on forever actually. they're so silly to me god I adore em.

my unpopular opinion about two! hmm I'm not sure!! I gotta think!! OH! well I dunno if this counts but I often feel like two as an individual character gets over looked way too often!! I see him talked about in the context of other characters real often but never much about just him. he's so much more then just a funny kid n I really wish people talked about him more!!

one thing I wish had happened I canon!! I wish real bad we had gotten to see more of two interact one on one with the other characters!! ESPECIALLY johnny!! I feel like there was so much complexity there with Johnny n Two's friendship (Two who was so used to people laughin at his jokes n never seein more n Johnny who could see right past that. Two who was clearly real protective over the kid n hated his mother for what she did to him. but calls her a 'damn drunk' n knows he really ain't that much different) That or more of his own grief after Johnny n Dallas! he lost two brothers. when does he get to grieve?

AOUGH!! TWO BIT MATHEWS MY BELOVED. I'm gonna cut it off there but know I could talk about him til the end a time.

[seilnakyle]

hi, i hope you're having a good day. sorry if you've answered this already, but since you're the expert around here🫶🏼, i wanted to ask if you had any panels of the moments talia was an asshole to dick or just her thoughts about him. people tend to be so "haha he hates her because he's jealous of her relationship with damian" but i think it's very reasonable and justified his dislike and distrust of her

Aww tysm for calling me the expert haha 🤓 🫶🏻 I always try my best to be accurate, and I’m definitely not trying to spread unnecessary hate to a female character, but I do side eye her stans who try to justify her treatment of Dick when he is a teen as being his fault. Characters are allowed to be flawed, and Talia is literally a cult victim. Her not being the most moral and empathetic person is not unreasonable.

just first thing first, Dick is most definitely not jealous of Talia’s relationship with Damian��if anything, it would be the other way around lol

Dc Festival of Heros: The Asian Superhero Celebration

Second, Damian was but a sparkle in Bruce Wayne’s eyes when the Talia beef started. And YES these following panels are all pre 9/11 pre Grant Morrison moments :)

SO! First interaction Dick had w the Al Ghuls is when they sent some of their goons to shoot and kidnap him near his college.

Batman (1940) #232

Ras goes to Bruce and says that Talia has conveniently also been kidnapped (this is a lie) presumably by the same people, so the two of them head off on a mountain adventure to rescue their kids together. But when they finally get to Robin, Bruce reveals that he’s been onto Ras since the beginning and isn’t falling for it

Then after Bruce and Dick fight some goons, Ras and Talia walk out revealing that this whole crazy quest was a ploy to…get Batman together with Talia? I guess.

This issue ends here and the “cliffhanger” is never followed up on. Though the Al Ghuls do later drug Bruce and force him to participate in a marriage ceremony with Talia that ends with Bruce deciding it’s not valid bc he didn’t actually consent, and then he punches her out. Keep in mind, this happens before Dick’s next meeting w the Al Ghuls. There is one story where Dick and Talia actually work together to save a young monarch from falling to his death (genuinely a good story for Talia, she displays actual unselfish empathy for people outside her own circle) but In that entire story I don’t think they speak to or acknowledge each other a single time, so I can’t really read into any of that for how they feel abt one another.

But okay, thats the setup for why Dick is immediately upset when she pops back up unannounced in Batman #330, but from the moment she gets back, it really seems like she just wants Dick out of the way.

Then in Batman #331, she shows up wanting to move in, Dick immediately hates this, and expects Bruce to take his side, when he doesn’t, Dick is very upset and leaves the manor literally as fast as he can. Talia however, is very pleased to see him go.

I often like to go back and look at old readers letters/editor comments for situations like this just to get some thoughts untouched by the hindsight. Unsurprisingly from what I could find, most seem to sympathize more with Robin here and were equally suspicious of Talia’s intentions.

Dick goes to Selina for help after being abandoned by Batman, and of course she’s down!

During their team up, they have this moment where they’re being tortured and Talia sees them, she has zero reaction to Batman’s son being hurt like this, and moves along like she didn’t see shit

Batman #334

And her character of course becomes a mess after Damian is introduced but suffice to say, yeah, they still hate each other

[verdantwyrm]

"Curly was capable of raping Anya" Insane take. While yes, technically anybody is capable of rape, but why do you want it to happen to Anya, again???? Going on about how you want to see her smile and be happy and then turning the only person she had a positive relationship with on that ship (Besides Daisuke) out to be some secret rapist that is, of virtue, being a rapist because he 'enabled' one.

I hate to break it to you guys but, bystanders and rape enablers are... not just as bad as the actual rapists who committed the crime. And you should be focusing all your energy on, and trying to equate all bystanders to be equal that of actual abusers puts alot of people at risk and perpetuates this idea that victims are always just as bad as their abusers because of how they enable it.

Have you ever seen someone get bullied at school or something and never stood in? Congratulations! You're a bystander now, and according to half the people on the internet, you are now just as bad, if not worse, than the bully who was doing the bullying.

This belief, this rhetoric and idea that you're constantly guilty of some horrendous crime because you happened to be an observer of something doesn't work. It doesn't. Because then you would be calling a stupid fucking amount of people abusive and somehow worse than their abuser(s)

If you look at this and go oh no that's horrible, why doesn't this to extend to fictional stories of exactly that happening? Curly was a bystander, but this doesn't make him guilty— neither is he innocent though.

None of you actually want to place yourself in Curly's shoes because then you would have to face the reality of what its like to freeze in a situation of confrontation and just how paralysing it is to be scared of your best friend.

[stnkiconverse]

hi hi!! may i request nina, kate, and/or jane mentoring a newbie creepypasta/proxy reader? all platonic but could be romantic if u want! i thought it would be fun :3

Nina, Kate and Jane mentoring Newbie!Proxy!Reader

Platonic AND Romantic versions :3

Nina

Platonic Mentorship

- Nina does not take you seriously at first. You’re a newbie, probably nervous, and she feeds off that 😭😭

- Expect her to mess with you constantly; hiding your weapons, pushing you into fights just to “see what happens,” and gaslighting you into thinking she’s helping.

“You’re scared? Pfft, no you’re not, you’re just excitement-starved. C’mon, let’s go break something!”

- Teaches you how to manipulate people. Not in a “here’s a lesson” way; she just does it in front of and to you and expects you to pick it up 😔

- The worst teacher but somehow effective. You’ll get stronger, faster, and meaner… but at what cost? 🤨

- If you impress her? She actually starts giving real advice. But only after tormenting you first.

“Okay, fine, you’re not totally hopeless. You should try aiming lower when you stab, it’s way harder to dodge.”

Romantic Mentorship

- The constant teasing gets worse. She loves making you flustered.

- “Ohh, do you get nervous when I get this close?” she says as she leans in too close just to watch you squirm 😭😭

- Gets possessive fast. She does not share well. If someone else tries even giving you advice? She makes their life hell 😭😭

- Will drag you into reckless situations on purpose. There’s nothing more thrilling than surviving together🤷

- If you get hurt? She flips out.

“WHO DID IT? I SWEAR I’M GONNA RIP THEIR FUCKING SPINE OUT.”

- The first time you manipulate someone, she literally swoons.

“Awww, my little monster is learning! :3”

Kate

Platonic Mentorship

- Expects you to learn by watching. She’s not big on instructions; she moves, you follow. If you can’t keep up? That’s your problem 🤷

- Strict but fair. If you ask stupid questions, she ignores them. If you ask smart ones, she actually answers :3

- Takes you on silent hunts—stalking victims, watching patterns, teaching you how to move unseen :33

“You breathe too loud. Fix it.”

- Pushes you past your limits. If you complain? She doesn’t care 😔

- Teaches you precision. She hates wasted movement, wasted words, wasted time. If you swing a knife without purpose, she makes you do it again.

Romantic Mentorship

- Denial, denial, denial. Kate does NOT acknowledge her feelings at first.

- If she notices that she started going easier on you? She forces herself to be harder on you instead 😭

- Acts indifferent, but watches your every move. She memorizes how you fight, how you think, your tells and weaknesses :33

- Gives you her hoodie (extremely rare) once and immediately regrets it 😭😭

“I didn’t do it because I like you. You were cold. That’s it. Shut up.”

- Snaps if someone else flirts with you. Doesn’t say anything—just steps in front of you, stares the other person down, and doesn’t move 😼

- If you get hurt? She patches you up silently, but gently. The only time she ever softens.

Jane

Platonic Mentorship

- The only one who actually teaches properly 😭😭

- Jane is patient, methodical, and expects you to take things seriously 🫡

- Drills you on stealth. If you make noise? She hears it. If you hesitate? She catches it 🤷

- Harsh but supportive. If you mess up, she makes you do it again. If you get frustrated? She talks you through it :33

- Gives real-life experience. Instead of just talking, she takes you on missions. She doesn’t interfere unless necessary, she wants to see if you can handle yourself :3

- If you earn her respect? She becomes incredibly protective 😋

Romantic Mentorship

- Human version of slow burn. Jane doesn’t fall fast. She watches you, evaluates you and waits until she’s sure you’re worth it 😭😭

- Actually enjoys teaching you. Watching you grow, get stronger, become confident, it makes her proud :’3

- Will 100% fight anyone who disrespects you, I don’t make the rules 🤷🤷

“They won’t do it again. Trust me.”

- Rare but intense soft moments. Late at night, after a mission, when it’s just the two of you… she lets her guard down.

“You did good today. I- I’m proud of you.”

- Once she lets herself love you, it’s over. She will burn the world down before she lets anything happen to you :33

I HOPE THESE WERE GOOD, SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SO LONG :(((((

[vonbabbitt]

Hello Von!

I have a chunky round soft tiger plush I named Sawa and for like a couple months my brain keeps saying 'Wow imagine an AU where Harada had taken a plush instead of an actual tiger' and while the funny option would be everything still happening pretty much the same, it's a real impressive sign of just how well you've written cause and effect into Tetro that everything would change.

Like, chapter 1 would be the same but since a plush wouldn't be able to attack anyone chapter 2 would be completely different. In canon DR games it feels like changing one case a lot of the time wouldn't really effect that much after it but with Tetro, with what Okazaki said about Harada's death during trial 3, she may have chosen a different victim instead of Kamimura or even held off longer since she was interested in Harada.

Which of course would change a LOT about chapter 4 as well.

I guess what I'm saying with this autism ramble (yes ken is my favourite how did you guess) is it's really cool how every decision in Tetro actually matters and actions have consequences and nobody gets forgotten by the cast. Sorry for the long message, you're awesome.

thank you! im glad you're enjoying it! the staff and i have actually talked a lot about how very minor changes would offset the entire story and what those timelines would look like

[cherrywaves333]

hi!! this is my first ever tumbr post, i'm super excited and super nervous for how it's gonna be received since i've been a fly on the wall in s o o o o many communities for years. i hope you enjoy!!

warnings/tags: abuse, drugs/alcohol, the normal cm stuff, hospitals, emetophobia at the end (very slight mentions of vomiting), reader is a stripper, use of y/n, slight age gap if you squint, black!reader, spencer is a bit of a perv if you squint.

“oh, fuck,” she thought as she looked at the team’s destination. 

she read the name over two or three times on the jet, Charlie’s Devils. it was the same unclever name of the same dingy strip joint she used to work at to pay her way through college and the academy. she bit her lip in silence as the team went over the case. she didn’t flip any further than the first page so as to not potentially see any of her old friends in a state she couldn’t unsee. 

Spencer was the first to notice her uncharacteristic silence. he was going to question her about it, but he didn’t want to mention her unease in front of everyone. he knew what it was like to be the youngest and newest on the team and he didn’t want to put her in a position where she felt she had to defend her spot on the team. but, he did observe her and the cogs turning in her brain as she stared at the picture of the epicenter of the murders. it looked as though she wasn’t breathing, she was so still. then, she spoke.

“okay, i feel like i’ve been here long enough that i can trust you all and i know i’ve proven myself more than capable and professional on this team,” she began to ramble before stopping herself to breathe, “i used to work here.” 

the team fell silent, especially Spencer who was now left in her old position. he stiffened up, his breath caught in his throat at the thought. he had tried his best not to imagine her in any light other than his best friend as he knew they could never happen. he knew he was too old for her. JJ was the first to crack a smile, followed by Emily who couldn’t help but laugh. 

“but you can’t walk in heels!” Emily laughed a little harder. 

“shut up! i so can!” y/n defended herself, ears hot with embarrassment but also relief. 

“no, you can’t. you look like a deer!” Morgan added on. 

Hotch observed y/n for a minute and her gaze shifted to his, causing her to shrink into her seat a little further. everyone fell quiet, both hoping that Hotch wasn’t mad at her and that they hadn’t embarrassed her. 

“do you want to sit this case out?” Hotch questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

“no! actually, i thought i could be more helpful,” she reasoned, hoping he wouldn’t take her off the case, “none of them know i joined the FBI except my cousin, i could be an informant, i could go undercover, wherever you need me.” 

“we’ll see how it goes when we touch down. for now, i want you as far away from the club as possible. stay in the police station. Prentiss, Morgan, go to the club and ask questions. Reid, L/N, stay at the precinct, go over the files and work on the profile. Rossi, go down to the morgue and see the MD. JJ will come with me to talk to the victims' families.” 

everyone closed their case files and waited on the flight to Los Angeles. y/n had moved over to the couch by herself and busied herself with music and a book, but she had been on the same page for the last 5 minutes. not that spencer was counting or anything. he moved to sit next to her to make sure she was alright with working this case. 

“you okay, y/n?” he asked, softly.

she didn’t answer for a moment before answering with a question of her own, “who were the victims?” 

as spencer went down the list of 5 victims from the same club, she didn’t recognize any of them, they were all new girls. she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. she felt guilty for the relief that she felt, but she needed to know that none of them were her girls in order to work the case. 

“i don’t know any of them,” she breathed out. 

he felt his heart throb with sympathy for her as she was willing to work her friends’ case earlier, knowing what she would have to see. she gave spencer a small smile before speaking again. 

“you don’t see me any different?” 

spencer furrowed his eyebrows, “of course not, being an exotic dancer isn’t anything to be ashamed of.” 

she laughed a little at the title, “this club is not nice enough for us to be called exotic dancers.” 

once they arrived at the precinct, spencer and y/n immediately got to work setting up the profile. she thought back to everything she knew about this club, overthinking and overanalyzing every aspect, every dynamic. 

“were these girls working the streets as well as the club?” she asked, looking at their outfits. 

“there’s nothing in their files, why do you ask?” spencer looked up in confusion.

“the girls who just work the club show up in warm ups, sweatsuits, pajamas, hair and makeup not done, and they leave that way. the girls who work the street get cute before coming,” she explained, pointing to each girl looking done up. 

“i’ll let everyone know we might be working with potential street workers,” spencer nodded at her observation.

she bit her finger as she stared at the board, unmoving as she analyzed every single detail. the method of murder on each victim was strangulation. each victim had alcohol and drugs in their system, namely MDMA and high levels of THC. most of the girls at the club partook in a party drug every once in a while, especially during an off day. y/n tried to stay away from harder drugs, sticking to weed during her college years and only dabbling outside of that for two years. each victim was in their early 20’s, but they were all different physiologically. none of them were the same race or body type. one girl was 5’8 while another was only 4’11. 

hours later, the team met up to discuss the details of the case. the killings were sporadic, there was no pattern to the space in between killings. the victims all worked in the same club, but other than that there were no obvious links. there was no DNA left at the crime scenes. Rossi had found that the bodies were scrubbed clean before they were dumped.

y/n couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, this whole case felt familiar to her. she kept shaking it off as being the club she used to work at and the feeling that this could’ve been her or her friends. she knew deep down that wasn’t it. 

“L/N, i want you to go down to the club tomorrow. dress casual, show face, let people know you’re back in town,” Hotch stated casually. 

all eyes fell on her and spencer was the first to speak, “are you sure that’s a good idea?” 

“i’ll do it,” she nodded at Hotch, “am i going undercover?” 

“if we don’t catch this guy by day after tomorrow, you’ll be going undercover that night,” Hotch confirmed. 

she nodded before excusing herself to get some water with spencer hot on her tail. 

“kid’s got it bad for her,” morgan nodded. 

“he’s just looking out for her,” JJ shot down the idea, “it’s sweet seeing spence stepping up.” 

“20 bucks says they start dating before the end of the month,” emily wagered after Hotch left the room.

“you’re on,” morgan took the deal. 

“100 bucks says they start dating before the end of the case,” rossi remarked before leaving the room as well. 

“you don’t have to go undercover if you don’t want to. none of us will think any less of you,” spencer started as soon as they were alone. 

“i can handle a sting, spencer,” she chuckled, a little sarcastically. 

“are you sure? you’ve been anxious all day,” he shot back.

“are you seriously profiling me?” she scoffed, “you know what, i think you do think less of me. i’m not a child, spencer, i can handle my job.” 

she stormed out of the office, pausing to ask Hotch if she was good to leave. she left the precinct to go get into character for her upcoming operation. 

the next day, she walked into the club, donning a new nail set and done up hair. her outfit was much less than anything she would ever wear to work, trading her usual blouse and jeans for a mini skirt and a cute top. as soon as she opened the doors, she was taken back 4 years to the last time she was here. 

“y/n? is that you, baby?” she heard a familiar voice call to her. 

“did ya miss me?” she let her personality shine through her voice with a huge smile on her face. 

Laticia wrapped her arms around the girl, squeezing her tightly and whispering, “i told that fine ass man yesterday that you needed to be here with us until they catch the bastard that’s killing my girls.” 

“let’s go to the back,” y/n nodded with a smile. 

“look who’s back!” Laticia announced to the girls, “just in time to get me in this corset. let’s go, show’s in 2 hours!” 

she got dragged to Laticia’s private room before any of the girls could even get up and swarm her. she took in the room that used to be theirs. the two vanity mirrors, one decorated and one abandoned with a lone vase of orchids atop it. the pink carpet with questionable crunchy parts. the posters on the walls. Laticia took her sweatshirt off and slipped on the corset. 

“lace me up while we talk,” she said, playing music over her speakers loudly so no one could hear them. 

“what’s new here?” y/n said in detective mode. 

“King’s running shit now,” she whispered, “he’s got almost every girl in his grip, time’s are real bad over here.” 

y/n fell quiet at the mention of her ex, “are you working for him? is sadie?”

“no, no. but, you have to stop him, y/n/n. i feel like he’s at the center of all this, i know it.” 

“i know, we can’t link him to anything, though, tish. there’s nothing i can do.” 

she got her laced in and Laticia wiped her face, letting y/n speak again, “i can convince my boss to let me go undercover and work here again.”

“king wants you back, he never let you breaking up with him and leaving the club go. he’s gonna come after you,” Laticia shook her head at the suggestion. 

“and my team will take him down, babe, i got this,” she hugged her cousin and walked out to be swarmed by the old girls welcoming her back. 

after a bit of convincing, she was allowed to get on the pole the next night. she sat in the dressing room, putting makeup on by herself. she had told the team it was best she showed up just as she would when she worked here before. 

“heard you were back,” a voice said from the doorway.

her blood ran cold as she looked up through the mirror, “what do you want, king?” 

“so it’s king now? what happened to auggie?” he questioned, condescendingly. 

“you choked me,” she stated, coldly, going back to her eyeliner. 

“you know i didn’t mean it, baby,” he dropped down to her side, “i missed you, you left in the middle of the night.” 

“you choked me,” she repeated, finishing her second wing. 

the two sat in silence for a beat before he grabbed her thigh and looked up at her, “smoke with me. just like old times.”

she tensed, knowing refusal would make her look suspicious but she couldn’t smoke because of her job. she looked at him, trying to look as sad as she could. his grip tightened the longer she hesitated. 

“i don’t smoke weed anymore,” she tried to shake him off. 

she sat and stared at him and he pulled something out of his pocket, “or do you think you need something stronger to take the edge off?” 

she shook her head and he nodded, “then smoke with me.” 

she sighed and gave in, feeling his grip getting tighter and tighter, “fine, but let go.” 

she didn’t have a wire, nobody was going to knock on her door. they had cameras set up all over the club and people undercover set up around the perimeter with Spencer, Morgan and Prentiss inside the club as patrons. there was nobody except one of the girls who could interrupt this interaction and keep it casual. 

he lit the end of the joint, releasing his grip on her. she relaxed ever so slightly being free from his grip, but still shaky about smoking. she inhaled the weed, body fully tensed as she thought about her career going down the drain. she felt herself getting higher the longer he kept her in the room, her tolerance dropping significantly in the 5 years since her last hit.

“let me put your glitter on you,” he whispered to her. 

she complied, trying to keep him happy and maintain the personality he knew of her, “don’t mess it up.” 

he pulled her robe off of her as soon as she stood up. the air was so thick she couldn’t breathe, she knew in her heart that he had killed those girls as soon as he spoke to her. he grabbed the glitter gel and rubbed it over every inch of exposed skin. she looked modest given the circumstances; cheeky high waisted champagne bottoms paired with a matching glittery bra with chains hanging off of the bottom. she donned rhinestone fishnets, a wine red garter, and high stilettos. she lost her balance when he gripped her hips to glitter up her stomach. 

“you’ve stayed in shape,” he flirted.

“wish i could say the same for you,” she shot down. 

he let the comment slide, finishing up her glitter and looking her over, “you walking around like this all night?” 

“the robe is a part of the set, don’t you remember, king?” she taunted him with his street name. 

she sauntered out of the room, head in a fog from the weed. she walked up to behind the main stage, waiting for Laticia, now candy, to finish her routine. she watched from the velvet curtain as her cousin picked up the money from the stage and strutted towards y/n. 

“you got this, cinny,” she smiled at the girl, squeezing her arm. 

Prentiss was sitting at the bar, sipping a rum n coke all coke. she watched the stage intently, using her peripherals to scout out potential criminals. 

“how yall doing tonight?” she heard the owner of the club announce over the microphone, much to the disdain of the patrons, “i know you came here to see these beautiful girls dance, but i want to welcome back a very special guest to our regs of years. our girl cinnamon will be taking the stage for the first time in 4 years.” 

y/n shook out all her nerves and told herself to remember her pole routine, trusting that she can work the stage just fine. she put on her stage face and sauntered on stage on beat as wine pon you started playing. she flipped her hair to the side as she got to the front of the stage, curled hair framing her face beautifully. 

i ain’t got my eyes on you

she bent over slowly before quickly squatting down, ass to the audience. Spencer stiffened in his seat.

ain't been hypnotized by you yet

she slowly stood up, pushing out her ass. spencer tried to picture the girl in the navy blue cardigan, speed running a puzzle with him on the jet. 

ain't in here tryna find my dude

he could see the body glitter on her chest as she rolled her body. 

i take it you just like the way i wine pon you

her hips whined their way down to the floor on beat. his hand gripped his glass tighter as his loose button down seemed to strangle him. 

she worked the stage, and spencer little to her knowledge. her mind was in such a fog, she knew she was working on muscle memory and personality alone. no logic to her movements, no calculation between her position and king. she felt all her training leave her brain, becoming a vessel to the mission, returning entirely to the club in that moment. she felt hunted. 

after some polework, she noticed king’s attention slip away from her onto a girl serving drinks and she was desperate to get it back. she climbed off the stage, sitting on his lap and lip syncing the lyrics to him, “be like a museum, got you lookin’ but you can’t touch.” 

she climbed off of him and dropped to her knees, maintaining eye contact with him. spencer’s eyes tracked her every move like a hawk, both in shock and intrigue at the provocative nature that she had hidden so well. he tried to figure out if any part of this was her or if it was all for the case. before she stood, she tossed her head back, making a pornographic face as she locked eyes with spencer across the club. she could see something in his gaze, a hunger she was unfamiliar with. 

she sauntered back to the stage from the club floor to finish her routine. from then on, she was juggling spencer and king’s attention, doing everything to keep the gaze on her. her every move was to make sure the light hit the detailing on her bra, the glitter on her skin was popping, that they could see her every curve. she made sure her lines were clean and that she was drawing them deeper and deeper into her. 

when her set was over, she returned to her dressing room. she had hoped deep down that spencer would come in to talk to her about the moment of eye contact they had shared. she hoped he would come in and tell her that she wasn’t delusional and that there was something there. but she knew they were working a case, she knew he wasn’t coming. 

her door opened and in came king, “why’d you leave the club again?” 

she turned around and giggled, “i had better opportunities.” 

he grabbed her hips, “like what?”

she giggled even more, leaning back against him, “college.”

“why don’t we get outta here and you can tell me all about it?” he leaned down to her face, pressing their noses together. 

she smiled, even though his grip was tightening and it was hurting her, “okay, king.” 

he draped his arm across her waist, keeping his hand on her hip. he guided her out of her dressing room after she slipped on her long robe and her sweats. she was tying it closed as she walked through the club, catching the attention of spencer and morgan. 

“i can’t change first, baby?” she asked, stumbling to keep up with him in her heels. 

“i like you like this,” he stated, not looking in her direction. 

“i look like a hooker,” she grumbled as she covered up.

he ignored her, squeezing her closer to him to keep her from wandering away. spencer had half the mind to start following them out because of his aggression toward his friend, but he waited for her signal. it also seemed like they were going out to his car, which was in his usual spot right next to the team’s stakeout van in the alley. 

the rest of the team waited in the van, watching as y/n stumbled to the car. they couldn’t tell if she was actually under the influence or if she was struggling to keep up with the man’s pace because of her shoes. they watched as she climbed into his tinted car and waited for any sign of a struggle or signal to move in. 

y/n anxiously shook her leg in the passenger’s seat, feeling any high she had going slipping away from her with the intensity of the situation. she was sitting in the car where dozens of women had likely been abused or killed, she couldn’t breathe. king climbed into the driver’s seat a second later and just watched the girl. 

“you good?” he questioned. 

she couldn’t get anything out, thinking about the last time she was in this car, “i’m fine.” 

“nah, you’re tense,” he tried, pushing her buttons.

she shook her head and tried her hardest to relax, but she was angry at him. she was mad for herself, she was mad for the other girls, she was boiling over with hatred. she couldn’t stand the idea of him thinking he had all this power over not just her but women in general. she was so wrapped in her hatred, she didn’t see it. 

“come on, baby,” he held a powdery tablet in the shape of a playboy bunny. 

“what?” she questioned, knocked out of her gaze. 

“it’s e, baby, you used to do it all the time, remember?” he held out the suspiciously printed drug.

she tried to shake her head, but realized he wasn’t asking her. the moment she got in the car, she was in his domain, under his influence, at his beck and call. she couldn’t say no. 

so, she took it. and the next 15 minutes were a blur. 

“get off me!” she screamed, kicking at him and the driver’s side window as he knocked her head back against the passenger’s door. 

he was trying to force her into the backseat as she kicked and screamed, clawing at his neck and face. she managed to flip them, so they were fighting in the driver’s seat and her butt slammed on the horn multiple times. the team took this as her signal and moved in as he threw her into the backseat. they fought as the window broke all over them and the door flung open. 

he was pulled off of her as she crawled out of the other door. spencer was waiting on her side of the car and she immediately backed into him. 

“i need to go get my stomach pumped,” she gasped, putting all her body weight against him as the adrenaline wore off and the exhaustion hit. 

~

spencer had waited in the emergency waiting area, his leg anxiously shaking as he waited for the girl to wake up. he thought over the situation and couldn’t believe she would be so careless with her life. what if he had laced the drugs? did she even know what she took? he couldn’t fathom how she ended up in that position and why he didn’t push back against her going undercover harder.

“she’s awake,” garcia informed the team as she waited in the room with her. 

spencer stood up first, “can i go see her?” 

the team decided to let spencer go up first while garcia let them know how she was doing. 

y/n looked over at the lanky man in her doorway and a smile graced her cracked, chapped lips. she looked almost gray, but spencer could see her heart was beating strong and her lungs were full of air on the monitor, giving him comfort. she was a little embarrassed, her teeth were covered in charcoal and she had very clearly just vomited. 

“hi,” her voice raspy from throwing up. 

“i’m so glad you’re okay,” he said awkwardly, not moving from his spot. 

“me too,” she giggled, trying to make a joke. she grabbed her water taking a sip, “i’m sorry i scared you.” 

“what were you thinking?” he sat down, next to her. 

“it was me or someone else, at least the team was there for me,” she shrugged.

“no, taking the drugs. you could’ve died, you don’t know what he put in that,” he pushed, starting to get annoyed by her lack of care. 

“i had to do something, spence. i wasn’t getting out of that car without taking something with him.” 

spencer twiddle his fingers before tossing his hands, obviously getting frustrated, “that’s not the point!” 

“why are you so upset?” she furrowed her eyebrows, expecting this from hotch but not spencer. 

“because i just realized i like you and then you almost die!” spencer snapped at the girl, word vomiting his thoughts. 

the room falls quiet, minus the beeping of the monitors connected to y/n. she looked at spencer with tight lips, deciding to lighten the mood once again. 

“can you say that again when i don’t have a black smile and bruises?”