#sometimes they stay. it’s not often but it happens

[great-now-im-confused]

Look shit is going to get bad. It's always going to get bad. But with that it means it'll get better too. What's good and bad is different for everyone. Many things that are bad for you know might stay that way. But many of them will also progress and change and actually get better. Beyond that thought, if you stay and you fight, you will get better. Maybe it is your family that'll always be crazy, maybe the political world will be beyond bleak for the foreseeable future, but if you stay you'll be able to see the things that will improve and will be good. I know so many of us have so much on our plates right now and the results of yesterday and dreadful. But please stay. I promise it'll be worth it.

Sure everything you hope for might not happen but you'll never get to know the things that WILL if you stay. I know the point of this post is mostly to address the dread many of us feel after the election. And I fully get it trust me I do. But as someone who has made that choice before and I am so grateful it didn't work for me to be able to still be here I want to share a few things.

"it gets better" is both right and wrong in my opinion. Yes sometimes the things that have you down so bad that you walk that path can absolutely get better. Sometimes they don't though and while that sucks it's okay. Because as I said before, YOU get better. (Not to run into "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" stuff because I get it, why do we have to be strong) You grow, you learn, you change. And with that growth and change your state of mind often changes too. Admittedly my life isn't too different from when I reached that point, but it's also so much better in so many ways. I'll use my family for an example. My family is so chaotic it's overwhelming and that hasn't changed, what has changed though is my ability to cope with it. I am still the one everyone runs to to fix problems. I still try to fix those problems more than I probably should, but I have started to learn to say no and to put up boundaries with them. So while yes it hasn't changed for the most part the growth I've had within myself has allowed me some space from all the chaos and it's truly helped me.

Then there's things like medication and therapy that's has helped immensely along the way. And I fully understand that not everyone has the same access to things I have been lucky enough to have along the way as the journey is different for everyone. And especially given the outcome of yesterday those things may become even harder to obtain for others. But I will say I also thought a lot of those things were out of my reach and I started asking the right questions and made it a little father (again this won't be true for everyone but hopefully will be able to at least a few)

I reached a standstill with progressing in my career because I didn't know what to do next. One day I got super lucky and met a new person who gave me so much guidance (more than I think they know) and it reignited my passion for my goals (again I know I am super lucky to find myself in that situation). My point with that is we have to be able to reach each other because you never know who you can help (with something that may be simple to you) and who can help you. You don't get to experience that if you're gone.

I'm not trying to get into my whole story or journey but I'm trying to share enough that it makes sense and is understood when I say I know what it feels like to be that low and I know what it feels like to overcome it. So please trust me on that.

I know things are scary right now. So much is uncertain and on the line. But you won't fix it by overly stressing about it and you won't fix anything is you don't stay. Times are going to get challenging and it's going to get hard and rough, but we will always be able to do something about it, especially together. So I can't help you if I leave and you can't help me if you go.

So take some time to process you frustration, your grief, and your fears. Then when you're ready take a deep breath and be prepared. Be prepared to take action. Figure out what is most important to you that you fear will change with the coming times. It could be your number 1 thing it could be a top 3-10 depending on what you have the energy for. And. Then start to learn. What can you do to help, what can you do to make a change, how can you make a difference. Then make a plan. When we all taken action things will start to be okay again.

But we can't inform each other if we're not here. We can't help if we're not here. Like OP said times have been bad before throughout history and humans have survived and we'll survive this. If you need a reminder and it won't mess you up too much look into the things people have preserved through (try not to focus too much on those tragically lost to those times because that won't help in this situation)

I know this is long and has gone all over the place but I needed to get this out because it's just part of everything swirling in my mind lately. So, sorry is it's a little hard to understand my points, if you'd like to reach out to discuss any of it with me if gladly try to be more clear on some of it I just was trying to not fully take over OP's post with my response (which I know I more than likely have by now, SORRY OP) this post just resonated with me and everything started flowing. So please just stay even if it means me typing all of this out was worth it and because you are worth it and we will work together to make it better

I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.

[sturnioz]

since shy!reader & nick have hung, has confident!reader met nick? are they friends too? does she, shy!reader and nick hang? whatta bout the readers & the brothers having a day out tgt?

swear every time i get into some sort of writing i’m thinking about “okay… and their daily life? i need it 👹”

note. using shy!readers nickname ‘bun’ and using confident!readers nickname ‘kitty’ for this to make it more easier for me to talk abt !! (i call confident!reader kitty cos of her constant sharp nails and her attitude lmao)

kitty and nick hang out a lot. and i mean a lot. they’re best friends !! they met pretty early in kitty’s relationship with matt and just became close instantly like they’re so similar with their attitudes and their caring towards people who matter to them — so they immediately just clicked.

it took bun quite some time to hang out with both kitty and nick cos she was a little nervous, but they have hung out together a few times !! not a lot unfortunately as bun tends to stay busy with her studies but more often than not, nick spams the groupchat that the trio are in for them to meet up like he wants to see her AT LEAST once a week. (ends up being more than that cos he is persistent and kitty even spams sometimes)

with group outings with everyone (all brothers), it doesn’t happen that much. there’s been a few moments where chris and matt have met up with the trio for some dinner or something, but truthfully chris doesn’t show up a lot cos he’s busy doing his dealing and/or he just doesn’t want to go. matt, however, shows up not only cos he does wanna hang but cos he always ends up being their driver LMAO

[theoi-crow]

Remember your gods...

In tarot the major arcana often represents something you can't control while the minor arcana represents something you can. With the devastating results of this election, treat it as a major arcana moment because while you can't control the outcome of this election, you still have all the minor arcana cards at your disposal and can petition the gods who can sometimes manipulate the major arcana cards to favor us as well.

I don't know why this happened and I won't pretend to know but I do know this, your gods are with you and will help you get through this.

For now take care of your mental and physical health, focus on the things you can control and take breaks from social media often because the news outlets are betting on you doom scrolling because they get money from your engagement and fear mongering gets that engagement. Also fear makes us irrational and makes it easy for someone to convince us to give them the key to our home so long as they promise they can protect us because fear makes people more vulnerable to scammers. We become unstable and can easily fall prey to those who will pretend to sell us safety and comfort in exchange for control.

Try to stay safe, stay sane and remember that your gods are with you and will protect you no matter how rough it gets.

You are divinely protected.

[en-ternity]

welcome to en-ternity’s LIBRARY! for now i am posting it just as a matter of organization. all the stories listed here are yet to be (re)posted ♡

REBLOGS, LIKES, COMMENTS, or any type of interaction are (going to be) more than welcome! ♡ just please be aware that i write SFW and NSFW stories. it’s correctly labeled and the respective warnings are going to be on the main post, therefore i am not responsible for your media consumption

HEARTS IN THE WIND

Heeseung never had believed in love — or at least, not in the real thing — not the capable of awakening his soul and bringing peace to his mind kind of love. It was something to other people, in other places, but not to a street racer like him in the small county of Hongcheon. Yet, in the summer of his twenty-four, you came into his life, and from the moment he saw you, he knew he was a goner

╰ strangers to lovers, street racing & summer romance｜coming soon

NIGHTS LIKE THIS

When you messaged Heeseung telling him you had a bad day, you hadn’t expected him to do anything about it. The sad emoji he sent you as a reply being his only resort. It was the end of the semester, after all, both of your desks were cluttered with papers for the upcoming exams. And to add to the situation, he had taken his car to the garage this afternoon, something about the brake pad being worn out and making the idea of him driving to your place in the middle of the night impossible. But then, he was there

╰ established relationship｜coming soon

THIS IS HOW YOU FIND FOREVER

Heeseung wasn’t the type of boyfriend to buy you expensive bouquets or take you to fancy restaurants. No. He was the type of boyfriend to pick flowers on the sidewalk for you and order food past midnight. He laid blankets on the hardwood floor of your living room and made picnics on it. And then, when the bowls were empty and the wine sank in, he was the type of boyfriend to ask you to dance with him. Barefoot and clumsy, Heeseung loved to dance with you

╰ established relationship｜coming soon

HEAVEN KNOWS

Aside from Jongseong’s whispered jokes of desiring to eat you alive, your boyfriend never had been anything but gentle with you in bed. Kind hands and soft touches, always patient, and always putting you first. Not that it was bad — no, he was the best you ever had. But it had been inevitable for you to not grow curious about what he meant by his eccentric statement. So you asked

╰ established relationship｜coming soon

MEET ME AT OUR SPOT

The luxurious hotel of Shinhwa had only one rule for their employees: do not get involved with the guests — and in special with their daughters. Jake always had been pretty good at following it throughout all those summers of being the hotel’s lifeguard — well, until you came

╰ forbidden love & summer romance｜coming soon

STRINGS OF FATE — mini-series

The blood feud between the southern kingdom and the northern kingdom was a tale so old. It had worn thin by the amount of times it had been rolled and twisted by foreign tongues. The original words now nothing but a memory of a tale too often told, but you knew you were supposed to hate Jaeyun just as he was supposed to hate you

╰ royalty & soulmate｜coming soon

THE POTTERY SHOP AT THE END OF THE WORLD

Falling in love with your older brother’s best friend certainly wasn’t one of your summer resolutions. Actually, meeting him wasn’t even part of your plans. But one day, you happened to have no other option than to appear unannounced at his little pottery shop in Seogwipo, a stray kitten in a pet carrier and asking for a place to stay, and well — you couldn’t help but do

╰ older brother’s best friend & summer romance｜coming soon

UNTIL THE SUN NO LONGER SHINES (BABY, I’M YOURS)

It’s not that Jake disliked the nights of sex — he just tended to like the mornings after a little bit more

╰ established relationship｜coming soon

WRITTEN IN THE STARS

During the course of your relationship with Sunghoon, you had found a dozen ways to wake him up. Sometimes it was sweet, a poke at his cheeks; a brush of lips against the skin of his neck. Sometimes it was a little dirtier — teaser, devious hands landing where they shouldn’t and making his body tingle throughout the whole day just by the bare memory. Yet, even with the vast amount of alternatives, your favorite one was this — the tip of your finger wandering through his moles, tracing the cluster of stars that belonged solely to him

╰ established relationship｜coming soon

THANK YOU FOR PASSING BY!

[certifiedsexed]

I don't know if this is gross or common knowledge but, why does my underwear get yellow stains over time? I've noticed that it doesn't always happen with every one (maybe because of different materials??) and that it used to happen a lot more when I was younger (I think it doesn't happen that often now but still). Could it be because of the urine or discharge?? They also usually stay even after washing them 😓

Not gross and also, not common knowledge depending on your living situation! No worries, I love answering questions, Anon.

There are several reasons possible for yellow stains in underwear. The most common is vaginal discharge, which can permanently stain fabric, especially overtime.

Depending on the color of your underwear, sometimes the PH of your vaginal discharge isn't perfectly ideal and that can cause a yellow-ish color. [Especially with yeast infections, I believe.]

Even just vaginal discharge mixing with sweat can cause yellow stains.

Another common reason is just sweat! Sweat can also stain underwear, specifically yellow, especially overtime! It could be urine as well, though that's usually more noticable (as in, urine gets very uncomfortable fast usually and has a very specific scent)

It's not at all uncommon, if you're wondering. Yellow stains on underwear happen! And they can be hard to get out. [Depending on the color, bleaching or using stain remover can help though!]

If you don't want yellow stains at all, you could try pantyliners and see how those work! They're made for things like this. But it's also okay to have some underwear with stains, it happens and its more common than you'd think.

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[grave-queen-jakrabitt]

An in depth guide for how to get into professional wrestling (as a fan)

As a long time fan of wrestling I’ve tried to get a few people into wrestling and have found a few problems people usually have with getting into it. I’ll be breaking those down along with terms newbies might need for interacting with the fandom, it can be really intimidating to ask questions if you feel like you should know things by default so I made this

The WWE and AEW aren’t everything: there are so many companies 324 smaller North American and even some Asian companies formed independent wrestling television. You can watch more wrestling than you know what to do with. If you can’t pay the 10$ a month (absolutely no judgement like be hard) the internet is a treasure trove of free wrestling even without the ole yo ho ho. But this leads to another problem

“How will I know what I like?”: You won’t unless you’re gateway was catching wrestling while channel surfing and thinking it looked cool. Try everything once but don’t expect to like everything. Find a few indie matches before looking for anything specific so you can find a little bit of everything, you might like the showmanship, the technical details, weapon based violence, it may change with your mood but if you’re making an effort to get into it you’ll find something just take your time

“Some companies have so much history it’s overwhelming”: unless you are a devoted little lunatic don’t try to watch everything from the start, I did that with progress wrestling and I would watch 10 or so hours of wrestling, I’m still 32 shows behind and they run monthly. Almost any show from any company is a good start but I’d say allow yourself to go back like 3 shows max unless you’re already aware of where you want to start

“Things in wrestling don’t make sense”: that is true but an important thing to understand is wrestling has its own internal logic like any show really, these can vary from company to company but it’s like inertia. You start at “okay so this is happening because it’s wrestling” and you get to a point where you’re choice to suspend disbelief carries itself to “fuck it this might as well happen this is wrestling” that being said

It’s entirely valid to not enjoy something a company does and please don’t just accept something or feel like you have to wait it out. Take a break, keep an eye on it try something new but don’t feel like you have to stay glued to a bed of sand paper. You will not enjoy everything done by a company

Bring a friend and be a friend: having a friend to watch with and help you learn is always good but don’t feel like you have to share their opinion about a person or decision, any good friend will be respectful of that.

rules

A normal wrestling match is usually won by one of 4 ways. pinning your opponent to the mat with their shoulders down for 3 seconds, submission, disqualification or knockout

Other small rules: being outside the ring means any potential victory (often aside from a ko for safety) are invalid, if a limb makes contact with the ring rope during a pinfall submission or hold it’s considered out of bounds and must be broken, if you are outside the ring there is usually a 10 count sometimes 20 if you don’t come back to the ring you get disqualified, ignoring a rope break or using an illegal move like small joint manipulation has a 5 count, don’t hit the ref, fishhook anything, bite, or hit balls. No disqualification matches exist

A tag team match: in its most basic has 2 or more teams of an equal amount, only one member of each team is allowed in the ring at once and the others have to wait on the apron, the other partner can come in when they make contact with their partner in the referees vision. A 5 count is issued for double teaming moves. Sometimes it’s everyone at once in the ring, this is a tornado tag match

Steel cage: they put a cage around the ring and you win by either normal means or depending on the match escaping the cage

lucha de apuestas: if you make any friends with any interest in lucha libre you’ll often hear this term it just means a wager match basically the competitors each put something on the line, their right to mask, their hair, a title, or their career.

Terms

Face/technico: the term used for a good guy, technico is usually reserved for Mexican lucha libre

Heel/rudo: bad guy

Over: if someone is over or getting over they’re ve a fan favorite or in the process of getting there

Heat: negative crowd response

Booking: how the show is being written and how people are being used in that process

Cultural differences in wrestling

You’d be able to find any kind of wrestling in most places if you look hard enough but it’s really interesting how different wrestling styles evolved

America: we have historically had a lot of carnival wrestling. How do you con a bunch of small towns out of money with wrestling? Fix them to be more interesting while still having enough skill to put the everyday challenges away without any suspicion. This became the rough and tumble 70s southern brawl style but until the 90s it really just boiled down to “be able to fuck people up so you don’t have to”

Japan: this is a tricky situation because there are really 3 main styles of Japanese pro wrestling. Strong style focuses on a lot of striking a resilience along with strong fundamental holds, kings road style was also very resilience based but had a more defined match structure and had a focus on throws like suplex’s and head drops. Most modern Japanese wrestling is a kind of blend of those, then you’ve got the younger brother and hardest for me to talk about bati bati. I’m admittedly not that well versed in its history but from my understanding it’s like if MMA and pro wrestling had a baby that didn’t suck. There are better resources than me to learn from.

Mexico: the origin of the highly acrobatic lucha libre actually has to do with a lot of old Mexican rings being modified boxing ring, the gymnastics of lucha are in service of minimizing bad landings. But there are 2 other important aspects to lucha, Your mask/pride and your family. In lucha your mask is your identity and your legacy, it’s essentially sacred. Losing it is often how careers end, if you’re not a mask wearing wrestler pride is the substitute. But the pride of your family is just as important as often times it’s a multi generational commitment.

Europe/the UK: I’m not slapping these together out of disrespect they’re just extremely similar historically. For a while British wrestling greatly resembled its American counterpart but too many bad actors ruined it for everyone and pro wrestling was briefly banned until being revived with a unified and more strict ruleset with world of sport in the 70s that 80s, taking more after catch as catch can. Where as it’s European brother found it’s stride in long grueling tournaments as a test of skill, a tradition still carried on mostly in Germany with WXWs 16 karat tournament, progress’s super strong style 16, and even the wwe uk title tournament

[therealcocoshady]

So I was thinking if you’re taking requests maybe a Em x reader where she’s plus size, they’ve been friends for a while and someone makes a comment making fun of her weight or how Em would never be with someone like her & reader overhears Em’s confession/response? In need for a happy ending type of fic.

Kinktober - Day 20 - Size Difference

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

A/N : thank you for your request ! I think it fights right with the Kinktober Day 20 prompt, which is « Size Difference ». I hope you enjoy it 💕.

CW : Size difference - Plus sized reader - Fluff

The dining room was warm and buzzing with laughter and chatter as the evening settled into its comfortable rhythm. Marshall sat beside you, leaning back with that familiar, laid-back posture, fingers idly tapping the edge of his glass as he listened to some story being told across the table. You felt a flicker of contentment just sitting beside him, enjoying the moment. You loved a good dinner party : great food and good company. It was even better when Marshall was around : his humor and playful remarks were always the cherry on the cake. The two of you had been friends for years, your bond built on banter and that magnetic, unspoken understanding. There was a spark, sure, but you had always kind of danced around it, knowing it was always there, like a half-breath between you. It was playful and fun but, at the end of the day, he was him and you were, well, you. And even though you sometimes thought of how great it might be if the friendship turned into something more, you were simply grateful to be in his presence.

At one point during the dinner, you excused yourself to step outside, needing a breath of fresh air and maybe just a moment alone. As you headed for the balcony, you didn’t realize that your absence would become the focal point of a conversation you’d never intended to overhear. Marshall was taking a sip of his drink when he heard one of his friends, that you had not crossed paths with too often, chuckle, glancing toward the door you had just passed through.

“So, uh, what’s the deal between you and Y/N?” the guy asked, with that tone that conveyed his thought on your friendship, probably deeming unlikely. After all, most people wouldn’t expect one of the most successful rappers to be such good friends with a female, much less one that did not look like a Victoria’s Secret model. Marshall’s brow furrowed at the question. “We’ve been friends for a while. Why?” The guy shrugged, giving a half-smile. “Nothing, man. I’m just surprised. Thought you’d go for, you know…” He motioned vaguely with his hand. “Someone more your…size.”

Marshall’s eyes narrowed, but the guy kept going, oblivious. “Look, she's nice, sure, but I mean— she might get the wrong idea and think there’s something there. And, well, she’s not exactly…. In your league, you know what I’m saying?” A heaviness dropped in your chest. You didn’t mean to overhear a conversation you were obviously not privy to. You could feel your eyes starting to burn. How humiliating. You’d left your seat for a minute and people were making fun of you. Right when you thought you were having a great time. You stayed on the balcony, looking away, pretending not to hear anything, hoping the conversation would end soon, so that you could go back to your seat and pretend that nothing happened. You didn’t see Marshall glance toward the balcony door. “Yeah,” Marshall said, his tone cold, “you’re right.”

You could feel your heart drop. Of course you knew that Marshall was out of your league. Anyone could see that. And you knew he knew it too. But to hear him acknowledge it, as simple as that, it still hurt. You would have hoped he’d at least defend you and say what a great friend you were. You could feel a lump form in your throat, before he continued. “She’s way out of my league.” Marshall’s voice softened as he glanced back toward the balcony door. “She’s the kind of woman who’s smart and hilarious, who’s real and doesn’t fake a damn thing. She’s gorgeous and incredible and—well, you wouldn’t get it. Someone like her?” He paused, letting the words sink in. “She’d never go for someone like me.”

The guy stammered, clearly at a loss for words. “But I mean, what is it that you actually see in her?” Marshall shook his head, a glint of disbelief in his eyes as he looked his friend square in the face. “What do I see in her?” He gave a small laugh. “Everything. I mean, have you seen her?”

You thought you were about to cry from the humiliation, but then you heard Marshall’s voice, steady and honest, filling in every corner of doubt she’d ever had. By the time he finished, your cheeks felt hot. There was a moment of silence and you decided to come back. You took a deep breath, calming your nerves, and approached the table, quietly slipping back into your seat beside him. Marshall glanced over, flashing her that signature, knowing smile, like you were his favorite person to see across the room. The conversation switched to another topic, moving on to some workplace gossip.

Without a word, you reached under the table and found his hand. His fingers stilled for a beat, then curled around yours, his thumb tracing a gentle pattern on your skin, like he’d been waiting for this moment as much as you had. He looked over, and your eyes met, a silent understanding passing between you, deeper than words. “Out of your league, huh?” You whispered, your voice a mixture of teasing and something softer, more serious. He squeezed your hand gently, his demeanor oddly calm though you could see a flicker of anticipation in his eyes. “Way, way out of my league,” he murmured, a slow, genuine smile spreading across his face.

You both focused on the table conversation, but neither of you could actually keep your attention from straying to the connection between your hands, fingers gently toying and tracing each other. Every once in a while, Marshall’s thumb would brush across your knuckles, a delicate and unhurried stroke that sent little shivers up your arm. You bit your lip, suppressing a smile, feeling your cheeks warm under the subtle, unspoken affection radiating from him. At one point, he leaned back casually, still holding your hand beneath the table, and threw in one of his usual sarcastic comments at something one of your friends said. But as he spoke, he lightly drew circles against your palm, his fingers grazing yours with a mix of playfulness and tenderness. It felt like a secret only the two of you shared, a silent language spoken in touch instead of words. You risked a glance at him, your eyes catching his for the briefest moment. He was mid-sentence, but when he saw you look, he shot you a crooked smile, raising one eyebrow in that mischievous way of his. He gave your hand another gentle squeeze, like he was saying, ‘I’ve got you.’

Your friends seemed oblivious, absorbed in their own conversations, while you and Marshall seemed to exist in your own bubble, a world of hidden smiles and quiet gestures. With each minute that passed, your confidence in this unspoken connection grew, and your touches became bolder. His hand slipped down to your wrist, feeling the steady rhythm of your pulse, while you traced your fingertips along the callouses on his, each touch a little thrill that left you wanting more. By dessert, you were leaning in just a little closer, your shoulder brushing his as you exchanged quick, playful whispers and comments about the evening’s conversations. The closeness of him, the warmth of his hand in yours, all made your heart pound in a way that was intoxicating.

Finally, as the evening wound down, people beginning to gather coats and say goodbyes, Marshall gave your hand one last squeeze, holding your gaze in a look that spoke volumes. As you stepped into the elevator, the doors sliding shut, the quiet tension that had been building all night seemed to close in around you. The moment you were alone, it was as though the air became charged, the silence between the two of you suddenly thick with every unspoken word and lingering look you’d shared at the dinner table.

You leaned back against the wall of the elevator, your breath catching as Marshall took a step closer. His gaze roamed over you, clearly taking in the way your dress hugged your curves, accentuating every line, every dip. He looked at you like he couldn’t tear his eyes away if he tried, and your pulse quickened, your body responding to the heat in his stare. He raised a hand, his fingers brushing along your cheek, trailing down to your jaw, gentle but deliberate. His voice was a low, warm rumble, barely above a whisper. “You’re so damn gorgeous, you know that?” You felt your cheeks flush, your lips parting, but before you could say anything, his mouth was on your, soft but insistent. The kiss was slow at first, like he was savoring every second, his hand slipping around to the back of your neck, holding you close as he deepened the kiss.

Your hands found their way to his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his hoodie as you pulled him closer, letting yourself get lost in the feeling of his mouth against yours, the warmth of his body pressing into you. She could taste the faint hint of Diet Coke on his lips, feel the steady beat of his heart against your fingertips, and it made your head spin. Marshall’s hands slid down, resting on your hips, pulling you against him, his touch possessive yet tender. His lips moved to your jaw, then to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses that made you melt against him, your breath coming quicker with each soft, lingering touch. “You have no idea…” he murmured against your skin, his voice thick with desire. “No idea how beautiful you are.”

His hand traced down your side, following the curve of your waist, fingers exploring every dip and line as though committing you to memory. You arched into him, your own hands roaming up to his shoulders, feeling the strength in him, the tension just beneath the surface. When he looked at you again, his eyes were filled with an intensity that made your knees weak. He brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb grazing your cheek as he leaned in once more, capturing your mouth in another kiss that was deeper, needier. The world outside the elevator ceased to exist; there was only the warmth of his touch, the soft hum of the elevator, and the way he made you feel, like you were the only woman in the world.

[lemon-berri]

Okay but... I'm convinced that Gojo is the best cuddler ever.

Not only is he incredibly tall, but he also has big arms perfect for getting snug in. You can imagine he's the type that's naturally warm too.

It would take him quite a little while to get comfortable with physical touch. The man keeps his infinity up constantly after all. He's not used to feeling safe, or comfortable in the way he is with you.

But when he let's his guard down, he quickly becomes a cuddle fiend. Best believe the moment that man gets home he's scooping you up in his arms. Holding you melts the stress of the day away. And you can always tell he's had a bad meeting with the higher ups when he holds you extra tight.

Gojo is usually the big spoon, he likes to feel like he's protecting you. He often nuzzles his nose in your hair, and murmurs sweet compliments against you, telling you how much he loves you, how much you mean to him. You've heard it all a thousand times, because he makes sure you know how loved you are. And yet, your heart still races every time.

Of course, there are also times where he's the small spoon. Usually this is prompted by you asking to be the big spoon. How could he ever say no to his perfect lover? You wrap around him like a backpack- or a koala, resting your forehead between his shoulder blades. He falls asleep in record time. Lulled by your velvet voice and warm compliments.

Sometimes, you lay on top of him, resting on his chest, while he holds you like a pillow. Gojos grip is firm in his sleep, it's like he's afraid to let you go. And when you shift around he murmurs in displeasure. He needs you there, needs to know you're not going anywhere. You're the best thing to ever happen to him, so he's diligent even in his sleep, making sure you stay.

And don't get me started on soft morning Gojo. All half lidded eyes and a sleepy smile, his hair is like a mess of cotton. His morning voice is super gravely, which elicits sweet giggles from your pretty lips. He might pretend and keep the voice for just a little longer than he needs to, all to see your smile.

Good luck getting up on time.

Divider by @aquazero

Not proofread if you point out my spelling errors I will cry.

Thank you for reading 🩵 Ily all ☆

[scrapingby]

Something about Rhun makes people just want to tell them things and it absolutely started in their childhood. All of their brothers used to go to them, if they needed someone that would just listen. Most of the time it was just being able to say something out loud, to not be alone with their thoughts. And with the experiments and the general pains of growing up that would happen a lot.

And that would be fine. Rhun has always been responsible, always worried about the beings close to them. But it wasn't fine, because for all that Rhun listened to every single complaint of their brothers, their brothers didn't listen to them. Not when they tried to tell them about how their day had been going (because no one wants to listen about what chores the nuns had Rhun do). Not even when they requested advice, because Rhun would take too long to answer. And especially not when Rhun tried to talk about their own feelings, their own worries.

Because for Rhun talking was hard. It's hard to always follow two group discussions at once: the one in the real world and the one in your head. It's humiliating to give an answer to a question that wasn't spoken or add something when the conversation has already moved onto something else.

It's also hard to talk while being so deeply aware of every tooth in your mouth brushing against the flesh of your cheeks and your tongue when you form words. And it's deeply uncomfortable to be told by your brothery that the over exaggerated way you move your face while talking looks ugly.

Sometimes Rhun stayed silent for so long that they feared they would forget how to speak (and that with their voice removed, their brothers would soon move on from them) so they forced themselves to not think, just press some words out. That's how they started to be what could be considered "snarky". Trying to keep on top of the conversation by thinking fast.

With the nuns, talking wasn't an option at all. And from all of the siblings I believe Rhun was the one deemed the most "well-behaved" or "responsible" so if the nuns needed an extra set of hands for something delicate or just someone to help with anything at all, they would take Rhun (I also feel like Rhun is someone that needs to do something all the time, because the alternative is being alone with their thoughts. So they were always grateful to get chores and even offered to do them for the brothers). And inevitably they would either start talking at Rhun (bc they wouldn't want a real answer from them anyways) or among each other and Rhun would just have to be there and listen. Often times it would be about personal problems of the nuns but mostly it was about the brothers. About the experiments and how good or how bad they performed. What punishments should be used for whom (for that one, they always wanted Rhun to answer) and shouldn't Rhun be grateful that they were being allowed so much freedom with how freaky they were?

So no. Talking isn't Rhuns strong suit. And they don't like thinking about how it makes them feel that everyone feels comfortable to dump their trauma on them but that no one, not even their brothers, bother to listen to their thoughts. So they work. And they try not to feel too bitter about always being used but never wanted. So yeah. They get snarky when people just start talking to them. They know how it will go. But they always, always listen. Because they know how it feels when no one listens to you.

----

Seriously, Klaus went out of this way to try to smooth things over with both words and actions with Zeke (DVD) and Fips (carrots). But with Rhun? All he did was say that what Rhun had been saying since forever was right and that they should have listened. My heart is breaking all over again.

Thanks at @jobroedchen-blog for your addition to last post. That's what kickstarted this train of thought that I had been trying to ignore until now

[evilmskitty]

Jurassic World Chaos Theory and communication

Season 2 spoilers, be warned: long post ahead~

(Now that I’ve simmered down from my high horse, and can look back at the opinions from fresh out of the oven)

Communication is a big theme throughout season 2 (and 1 really), often highlighting major points in certain episodes.

Miscommunication and lack of communication, were often intertwined with different characters. Just to be clear, I am not a big fan of the miscommunication trope because it gets me pissed off. Mostly because it can be very realistic, which hits close to home sometimes. Brooklyn’s character and story line are majorly in this trope.

Brooklyn spends time working on shady shit to get a story and put an end to the shady shit. In doing so, we see her neglect maintaining her friendships/relationship because she’s using it to cope. Then said shady shit comes back to wreck her life up, which she knows can harm her friends. Brooklyn does try to include Darius in last minute but then it gets skewed after the awkward confession. She gets attacked, not expecting to be alone, in a trap set for her. She entertains the idea of staying dead when it’s presented to her. Vetoes it. Andddd then is shown that it’s still very dangerous for her to return and tell her friends. So back to staying dead, because it’s safer for everyone.

Brooklyn continues to be radio silent and in doing so misses a lot of what happens in season 1. I don’t think she knows the group was hunted down or why they were all in Africa other than tracking the Broker there. What she knows is glimpsed from the news, the Broker, and Ben. Her conversation with Ben does irritate me, however it shows how difficult both their situations are. Brooklyn is trying to keep them safe and Ben is trying to find proof she is alive/what happened/what they’re dealing with, neither are in a good spot to really reach out and actually break down what’s happening.

Ben is left to either keep his promise not to say anything or tell the group. We watch it cause him such a visceral reaction he has a panic attack. Once he calms down, he thinks it over. Ben makes the decision to tell the group, and is immediately thwarted for plot reasons the rest of the episode and those following. Which causes more doubt and the desperate scramble for more proof. It builds up and he reaches out to the most levelheaded person he trusts to talk him through it. Yaz. Once again is thwarted by plot and because the doubt is eating at him but so is the guilt. Yet that scene also shows the build of up different communication issues.

We’re seeing Kenji having self sacrificing tendencies (borderline suicidal which is another topic altogether) to avoid feeling the heavy burden of emotions, worrying the group. Darius is wandering off to hyperfixate on dinosaurs to avoid having to discuss his feelings (as one does) or make sure Zayna is okay (if I see anyone shipping them I will cringe into dust). Sammy is also mostly making sure Zayna’s okay but is actually dealing with her emotions (improving from season 1) along with Yaz.

Darius is tasked with talking to Kenji, who Yaz has tried to get through to, both of them getting nothing but the mask he puts up. It isn’t until Ben is stuck in the position of telling them about Brooklyn or keeping quiet does anyone get through to Kenji. Also due to Darius wanting to avoid talking about his emotions again. Ben gets through to Kenji, but Kenji doesn’t get to what’s eating at Ben.

All of these come together during the last 3 episodes. Brooklyn who is unaware that the phone was eaten by a hippo, thinks Ben went out of his way to find her there. Ben who is overly baffled that his friend is here in person and not dead doesn’t really know what to say, much less willing to argue anything. Kenji who is an outsider watching the exchange, festering emotions explode. The rest of the group watch in horror as their supposedly dead friend works with the Broker. When they all meet back up, Ben is confronted with trying to explain his side and there’s a lot being thrown at him. Darius takes lead because he knows this won’t help anyone (in the moment) and they need to get out of the facility. But also because he’s still reeling from everything as well. (Someone pointed out he’s due for his breakdown next season which is very likely that boy is going through it).

In the end, the very thing Brooklyn had gone quiet for, didn’t really matter. The group was still targeted even after her death. They still ended up in Africa at the research facility. Still experienced danger and possible death many times. But she doesn’t know the whole scale and is desperate to keep them safe. So she continues to shut them out, continuing to get as much evidence as she can without involving them just she doesn’t know which is less she’ll have to lie and so they don’t know so they won’t be in harm’s way.

(There’s also my whole thoughts on the confession scene which is another unreliable narrator/miscommunication trope. Darius acts as if he made a huge confession to Brooklyn, likely due to the guilt of not being there during the attack, when in reality it wasn’t. Brooklyn fresh off a break up with their mutual friend catches the slip of tongue to mean exactly what it actually means for Darius. Love, in love, and she reacts to it. Which fair, but it shows how both sides dealt with it. Brooklyn brushes it off, Darius can’t stop feeling ashamed for it.)

(The recent posts I made were hot flash opinionated and fresh from watching the show in full bc I’m a certified slacker and knew I would hyper-fixate if I watched it when I had shit to do)

[yourlokalescholar]

Found this in my notes from months ago. Copy-pasting it here because it’s still funny to me

One of those “modern ancient gods” stories where everyone has forgotten what Loki’s the god of and they refuse to fucking tell anyone.

Hermes: “urgh yeah, I’ve had to give up a bunch of my domains to other gods since I ‘have too many’. Glad I’m still the trickster god tho” / MC: “what about Loki?? I just met them, I know they’re real too.” / Hermes: “oh yeah ofc. They’re not a trickster god lmao.”

Loki: “why does everyone think I hate humans?? I love you guys!” / Athena: “aha! So you’re… some kind of patron god of humanity? Of civilisation?” / Loki: “no lol that’s Heimdall. Good guess though <3” / Athena, vibrating with rage: “how the fuck did you say that out loud.”

MC: “so you’re supposed to know everything, right?” / Toth: “I do, yes.” / MC: “so you know Loki’s domain?!” / Toth: “…theoretically.”

It’s unclear which pantheons are real. Gods occasionally mention other gods outside of their pantheons, but it’s always like Loki or Hermes or some other untrustworthy god so it’s never clear if they’re taking the piss or not.

Hermes: “yeah, so Mercury was telling me the other day–“ / MC: “I thought you and Mercury were the same god??” / Hermes: “no? He’s Roman, keep up.” / MC: “but… almost all of the Roman gods are the same as Greek gods! There’s so much overlap there! How does that work?! Are there two Apollos!?” / Hermes: “wouldn’t you like to know”

Several different versions of almost every god exist simultaneously and paradoxically, because they pretty much become new characters every time their legends are told. Sometimes—but not always—differentiated by different spellings (eg. Dionysus and Dionisos)

Jesus is mentioned often (usually by Loki) but never appears. It is again unclear whether or not he exists

Actually I’ve decided Loki and Hermes are the most prominent gods in this story and it is a comedy

Dionysus and Thor are drinking buddies

I don’t know who the MC is. Presumably they’re saving the world. I don’t know why Hermes and Loki are the only ones helping

Actually wait. Idea: the gods are imprisoned somehow by someone and various versions of Hermes and Loki are the only guys slippery slimy enough to escape

Most of the Lokis ARE imprisoned as they are canonically, but since every version from every myth (presumably—again, none of them are quite sure which versions from which pantheons exist) exists simultaneously, this Loki happens to not be imprisoned yet. They insist they’ve actually just escaped, and it’s unclear if this is true or not

Actually no, Loki SPECIFICALLY is the main god, and Hermes is known to have also escaped and just shows up every so often. He doesn’t like to stay still. Sometimes it’s very clearly a different Hermes, but apart from his appearance he is always exactly the same. Sometimes it’s the one-day-old baby that stole Apollo’s cattle

So, the extent of the worldbuilding so far is: all versions of every god from every pantheon presumably exist, but it’s impossible to tell WHICH ones specifically, or how they’re created, or how far this extends (eg. The modernish satan Loki interpretation exists despite not being from the original Norse myths). The gods are all imprisoned by someone, but Loki and Hermes and probably other gods escape, but one Loki specifically ends up in the MC’s house. The main reason they’re helping is because without Idun’s apples they’re mortal

[radical-revolution]

In Love With The World

My training had introduced me to the spacious awareness of my natural mind. We compare this awareness to open skies and oceans—references meant to invoke immeasurable vastness, even though awareness is more immeasurable than skies and oceans combined.

Once we learn to recognize the ever-present quality of awareness, to let go of the conditioned and contingent mind and recognize that we are this spacious awareness, then our thoughts and emotions manifest as waves or clouds inseparable from awareness.

With recognition, we no longer get carried away by the stories that keep our minds spinning in repetitive cycles, or jumping around like a crazy monkey.

If we keep our minds entangled with these stories, then it’s hard to recognize awareness. As we all know, the weather systems within awareness often become quite stormy. But the more familiar we are with awareness as an innate quality of mind, the less effect the weather has on us.

Waves arise, and clouds move by; when we are not stuck inside them, they lose their impact. Our sensitivity deepens, and we learn to trust the knowingness of the aware mind. I had known waves of hurricane strength in my life — but not for a very long time; and now, on the jam-packed train, I was not quite sure if my constricted breaths came from the pressure on my face or the fear in my heart.

After a few minutes, the strong energy of fear began to subside. My breathing slowed. At the same time, spacious awareness presented itself — as if to meet the wave. Sometimes this happens. It’s as if the force of the turbulence itself allows awareness to be recognized more easily than at other times, and big emotion leads to big skylike mind.

I was no longer swept away by the wave, and no longer felt like I was drowning. What I had to do was: Let it be. There was no point in trying to run away. The wave was there. Though I would have preferred to be somewhere else, I could now just acknowledge that, and stay with the situation — the spacious awareness and the unpleasant sensation.

When we stay with a reality vaster than the skies, the destructive impact of our wild and disturbed reactions automatically diminishes. But clouds — or waves — don’t disappear; they dissolve and rise again.

With each stop of the train, people pushed their way off, and more people boarded. I inched farther forward until I was able to take a spot on the floor and sat cross-legged with my pack in my lap, another entirely new experience.

Within Tibetan culture, reincarnated adepts like myself take higher seats than others, and it’s taboo for tulkus to sit on the floor. Seeing me like this would have distressed Tibetan people.

But no one here cared about me or my status, and anyway, to stick with my intentions I would have to shed a lot of social customs.

I was not habituated to first class, but I was keenly aware of my discomfort with this utterly new environment. The walls and benches were a kind of putrid green, and in the dingy light everything looked like it was growing mold.

I arranged this, I reminded myself, to travel with people who are deemed unimportant in the world and who are not valued by society. So who is experiencing such discomfort: The esteemed Rinpoche? The privileged abbot? The fixed mind holding these revered titles in place?

My eyes were not in neutral gear. They were not just seeing, not just resting on objects. Instead, figures around me were becoming alien creatures, others, those over there. Their dirty clothes obscured my heart. I was faulting their cracked bare feet, yet soon my own would look just as filthy.

Their body odor was repellent, even though the humidity and the heat and the absence of air-conditioning must have left my body smelling just as bad, for the shirt under my robe was glued to my torso with sweat.

Once again, my body was in one place, my mind in another. One was wrapped in a monk’s persona, but my experiences were shaped by judgments of the most ordinary kind. It was like a waking dream. This dream had the strangeness of an environment that is familiar but somehow different. Or maybe it was me who was different. I felt out of place. I was out of place in this new world. It was almost as if I had walked into someone else’s dream — and the dream did not want me in it, as much as I did not want to be in the dream.

But here I was. It was my dream, after all, and it was the dream I had chosen. I don’t have to like this dream. Just let it be. Don’t get stuck in it. Let it take care of itself.

I didn’t feel any connection with these people. Despite years of practices that activate spontaneous compassion, I had to reach back in memory for basic reminders: Everyone wants happiness; no one wants suffering. These people too have known joy and distress, just like me. They too have lost loved ones. They too have known fear and kindness. They too will die, just as I will. For a few minutes, I repeated these reminders with genuine sincerity; then aversion again resurfaced.

Until this night, I had imagined my retreat landscape in terms of caves and pristine mountain lakes and village lanes. A friend who rode the lowest-class trains had described the rides as very pleasant: The benches are hard, and sometimes the cars are crowded, but the windows stay open and fresh air comes in and you can buy tea at every stop. That sounded fine to me. I had never imagined anything like this.

For the next few hours I became both teacher and student, reviewing lessons as if I were back in monastery kindergarten.

Where did this aversion come from? How did it arise? Did it come from my mind, my body, or the outside world? My breathing was more shallow than usual. I intentionally slowed and deepened my breath. But my mind continued to question and comment, making judgments about every little detail.

Noticing this, I understood that I had to turn my attention to the judging mind itself. Are my reactions true? Are my assumptions correct? Where did they come from? I was asking myself questions that my tutor had asked me at the beginning of my first three-year retreat.

~ Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, In Love with the World

***

[trashpremiium]

i wish i knew how to keep friends :( making friends is… hard, but doable. if i have a reason to be near someone and they’re amenable to my Autism Beam of infodumping, i can usually make them tolerate being around me for as long as that activity lasts.

but semesters end. mutual interests fade. activities wrap up. and then those people leave. not to say i’m not thankful for however long their friendship lasted, i just wish people were more likely to want to be friends because they liked me, not because i was a body near them to spend time with.

[footnoteinhistory]

[amygdalae]

had a dream last night i was lost wandering the streets of a big city at night and i was cold so i walked into the nearest open store and it was a sex shop but half of the store had several displays of just leather jackets and pants. i wanted it to be real so bad

[antianakin]

I'm gonna toss your tags on here, too, since I'm kind-of responding to that, as well.

The amount of times I started an AU and it went WILDLY in a different direction than I thought are too numerous to count. Half the time I start an AU it's out of some level of bitterness or spite towards something I didn't like and then I spend a lot of time on those questions that are like "Wait would this character ACTUALLY do that? Is that ACTUALLY how they'd likely react?" and of course the most frustrating "Is that actually how I WANT them to react?"

My Caretaker Luke AU was supposed to basically be a very bitter answer to the question of what would happen if Vader actually survived ROTJ, and then ultimately it became an exploration of what might actually help Anakin HEAL in that situation, what would it take to truly help someone like him genuinely come back from that darkness he'd stewed in for almost three decades (because no matter what kind of sacrifices he made, there's NO WAY he'd be completely snapped back to being a good person if he survived, that bitch is STRUGGLING). I made an Obitine AU that looked at how miserable Obi-Wan would've been if he'd actually stayed with Satine and married her when he was in his teens and that ALSO ended up with an exploration of how to save Anakin (though for different reasons this time). Sometimes these fuckers have a mind of their own and the more I take myself down that rabbit hole the further from my original concept I seem to get. It's not always a bad thing, often it's still really fun, but it's such a weird experience to look back at all this work you've done and not quite understand how you even GOT here when this isn't where you thought you were going when you started.

I made a point in the last AU I came up with to just... ignore some of those questions to focus on what I WANTED to happen (in this case, I was ignoring how Padme realized Anakin wasn't good for her and how she managed to actually escape him and that relationship and what path Anakin went down afterwards as a result because I just wanted to focus on Padme's NEW relationship and how that helped HER heal). Why did things happen? Because I wanted them to, next question.

And while I'm not a writer really by any means, it seems like a lot of writing is just... finding a balance between following that rabbit hole and seeing where it leads, and knowing when to say "This thing happens because I want it to in order for the next thing to happen." Not everything NEEDS an explanation, but it can help YOU to flesh out the culture and its intricacies and where certain traditions and feelings came from in order to lend a feeling of authenticity to the story even if you never actually explain any of it in the final draft. Even if you don't end up using any of the purity culture stuff you put in your last reblog, hopefully it was still helpful to think about how you might answer some of those questions and work through what parts are important to keep and which parts you think ultimately don't work.

I found your thoughts on how the clones might end up feeling about the idea that their "species" as such might eventually disappear really interesting! I also personally tend to think of them as their own "species" in a lot of ways, but that's usually for my own internal purposes rather than a way to consider how the CLONES think of themselves. I often have only really considered how the clones differentiate themselves in terms of their lived experiences and not necessarily in terms of their physical differences. They're obviously visibly human and would pass as human to most people and I imagine there's probably plenty of clones who would prefer to simply be considered a slightly augmented human rather than considered a whole separate species, while other clones would prefer the opposite.

I really respect your willingness to consider how the clones might end up with problematic values as a result of their experiences, to give them qualities you would personally consider unlikable. I'm not quite as good at that, so I really admire the way you work through some of that, even if you ultimately decide you don't like it and don't want to use it in your worldbuilding.

I've decided that Rex is the one who paints Kanan's eye mask with his bird of prey design.

Kanan's feeling pretty low still just after Malachor, he's still distancing himself from everybody, and Rex decides to go try to talk to him at one point and the first thing he comes up with to say is to point out that his new mask is pretty plain. It's awkward, he regrets it immediately, but then Kanan says that it gets the job done and Rex is abruptly reminded of himself so so long ago back at the beginning of the war.

He sits Kanan down and tells him a story about how, at the beginning of the war, only a few of the clones had paint on their armor, to designate things like rank and battalion in order to make it easier for officers to find them in the middle of a busy battlefield. The paint was practical and it was limited to a very select few. But the Jedi almost immediately started trying to encourage the clones to utilize the paint less sparingly, suggesting that maybe everybody could wear at least a LITTLE paint and use more individualized designs so that it was still easy to tell the commanders and captains apart from the others when needed.

Some of the clones had taken to it with gusto, but others had been more hesitant, and Rex remembers having been one of them. He remembers telling Obi-Wan that there was no real REASON to paint everyone's armor and especially not to come up with personal designs. The armor was practical and it served its purpose with or without the paint and special designs. But the Jedi had insisted on at least TRYING to come up with his own design and if he didn't like it, he could always take it off, so Rex had given in and chosen something to paint on the armor. And, somehow, it felt a little lighter the next time he put it on. It didn't erase the horrors of war or the pain of loss or anything like that, but it helped.

He tells Kanan that the mask right now is just a reminder of the pain of the injury and whatever other feelings he's still got all caught up in the Malachor mission (guilt over what happened with Ezra, grief over Ahsoka's loss). But if he puts his own design on it, it might turn the mask into something other than a constant reminder of something bad. Instead, it's a reminder of who he is, the combination of the person he once was and who he's become. He is more than just his injury or this mission and he can use the mask to declare that if he wants to.

Kanan says he never realized Rex and the other clones had cared so deeply about their armor and Rex says that the armor itself was meaningless. It's better than what's being handed out to stormtroopers, but not but a LOT. It was the design on it that had meant something and, more than that, it was what the design REPRESENTED: having a choice about how you were perceived by others.

Kanan asks why Rex had chosen his particular designs, the bird of prey eyes on his helmet in particular. Rex explains that he chose it because he liked birds and thought it looked cool, but he's kept the helmet for as long as he has because it's come to mean something ELSE now. It's not just a cool-looking design, it's a reminder of a better time in his life. It's a reminder of when he'd been a part of something greater than himself, with the other clones and the Jedi. It's a reminder of a time when he'd had hope that he and his people could one day come out the other side of this war towards a brighter future.

Kanan looks at the mask he'd grabbed from storage somewhere or something just to keep light from hurting his eyes as they recovered and to cover up the injury from other people's stares (even if he couldn't see them staring), then hands it to Rex and asks if Rex minds sharing that symbol because he'd like a reminder of that, too. Rex remembers the 332nd and their helmets that they'd painted to look like their chosen Jedi, almost blindly giving away their individuality in favor of that loyalty that had been stripped from them anyway. And then he looks at Kanan, choosing to make himself look LIKE REX, someone who had shared his face with millions once, because he wants to honor both the connections he'd lost as well as this new connection the two of them have built together now. And Rex says he'd be happy to share.