#because of anxiety… yikes. you really chose to attack for nothing

[padawansuggest]

Annnnnnnyways. That comment had me so fucked up that I forgot to eat for over 8 hours and now I’m gonna throw up if I don’t cause I need to take my pills :/

[1stunseeliefaelass]

Darksiders Arthurian Tales Revisited

Chapter 28: Round About the Cauldron Go

Aleyn looks at her a bit confused but says, "Let's...go with both."

"Ok. Being a lesbian, well for me at least, has had its ups and downs. On the one hand I still have to deal with morons who don't take no for answer, just gotta deal with it on both ends. On the other, the REALLY good ones can be very sweet. Course I've only ever had one time flings...that is before I met Zira. Granted we're still in the 'fling' phase of things...but there's definitely been more than one. She's a bit...extreme minded on some things but..damn is she amazing."

"How does she treat you, emotionally?"

"Well she is a Drow so, part of her culture is to be demeaning sometimes. If not all the time. However she's always quick to apologize for a mishap on her part from what I've noticed. She also makes sure that I get space and I give her some when needed too. Usually it's because her family is being asinine about things, but that's neither here nor there." C points out to him.

Aleyn cocks his head, "Hmm...interesting. Be mindful though, I've found most Drow to be very untrustworthy. Given that their culture was also built on lies and deceit towards each other and their neighboring races."

"So I've heard. I appreciate the concern, but I can take care of myself and I've been around the block a few times. Hell I've seen what it looks like when guys abuse girls. Can't imagine it's too different when a woman does so."

"There's more to abuse than just.... than just beating someone to the dirt you know. I certainly do, but that's not a story I'm comfortable telling." Aleyn expresses to her.

"Wait a minute what?" C asks him.

"Like I said, I'm not comfortable talking about it girl." Aleyn informs her.

Death then comes on by, having found Strife and War, "Ah Aleyn, still here I see. And...C what are you doing over here?"

"Oh Morgen asked me to see how he was doing. And to be sure he ate something at least."

"Ah ok then...well make sure everyone else is fed too."

"Already ahead of you on that curveball."

"Oh uh...my bad." Death says a bit unsure of what else to do now.

"If you need to talk to him privately just say so. No big deal to me." C points out.

"Ah right, yeah. That would indeed be the case C."

"Okie dokie, see ya guys later." C responds heading off.

Once she's out of earshot, Aleyn tells Death, "Perhaps you should keep a close eye on her. She mentioned a 'lover' who...concerns me a bit. Based on how C describes her."

"Hmm, I'll ask you about that later. Right now I have to ask you about some more important matters. Such as Morgen's current ailment, which I figured you may have something for."

"Hmm, an ailment you say? I'm going to have to check on her. Just to figure out what sort of ailment it is." Aleyn informs him.

"Sure, but I'll describe it on the way."

Death proceeds to do so as they walk on back to Morgen's room. Aleyn gains a truly surprised look before muttering, "That's not supposed to happen."

Death glances at him, "Pardon?"

"That shouldn't have happened, not with my blends. I'm always thorough with them."

"So this WAS from your tea?"

"Please don't go accusing me of anything yet. I meant no harm, I've taken it myself many times and had no issues. It's only ever helped me and a certain 'patient' of mine. Surely you will not disparage my name so easily over one incident?"

"Hmph, and has anyone else drank any of this tea?"

"Yes, others have indeed tried this same blend and got more positive results. Rarely did anyone suffer illness, even then it was barely troubling. Just minor at best. If you wish you can try it yourself." Aleyn affirms to him.

Death thinks on it and states, "Sure I'll try it, but I'm getting others in on it too."

From there he gathers Vortigern, Strife, Fury, and War all to test this out as Aleyn prepares more of the tea. This time using a teapot for the occasion. He gets them each a cup and plenty of cream alongside it, "You'll need it. As the tea by itself is among the most bitter in existence."

Death starts it off, trying without cream first. Naturally he gets more of a kick than expected, like getting something slammed into his gut. After that he retries it with the cream added in. Death's surprised by the decent enough taste after that, though he does prefer his own homemade blends. Strife, having learned VERY well from Death's mistake, chose to add a fairly heavy amount of cream into his cup. If anything the cream made it look more like a latte than anything else. It certainly tasted like one too, just with a bitter note to it. The smell however was by far the most annoying part for him. Strife never did like strong smelling tea, and was thankful Death remembered this much everytime he shared a cup with him. Fury however chose to ignore the mistake and ended up coughing badly for it. The bitterness was just that bad on her throat, and so she refused to try it further. War only added a bit of cream as Death did and tried it with some confusion. He wasn't too fond of the smell, which gave him a headache. But the bitterness, despite the cream, was by far the worst part for him personally. He wasn't sure how Aleyn could take this like it was nothing. Vortigern ultimately followed instructions straight off the bat and actually enjoyed it. He found the bitterness had a cooling effect on his own throat and the scent while strong was still oddly decent to him. Almost nostalgic in a way, but he couldn't see how.

Aleyn then asks each of them a bit nervously, "So...how was it?"

"Decent, although I think my teas are better suited to me than this." Death points out.

"This was AWFUL." Fury stated with a disgusted tone.

"That smell really took me out of it, but the taste wasn't THAT bad per say." Strife replies.

"Wasn't that bad? The smell may have given me a headache but the bitterness was way too much." War adamantly tells them.

"I guess you younger three don't normally drink tea then. As this really wasn't bad for me at all. On the contrary, I found it rather pleasant and...oddly nostalgic." Vortigern says.

Aleyn nods at him, "Ah. Glad that you somewhat liked the tea sir. As for the rest of you, I did warn you the cream was necessary."

They each all make various excuses before being surprised by Morgen walking into the room. She's rather sluggish in her movement, which leads Death to rush to her side.

"You shouldn't be up right now, go rest."

"Death I'm fine. Just a bit slow is all." Morgen assures him.

Death puts his hand to her head again, her temperature is lower now. But not enough to give him peace of mind yet. Certainly not enough to justify letting Morgen up and about. "You still have recovering to do. Now please, get back to bed."

"I swear to you I am fine."

"Get yourself back to bed before I start carrying you back. Who even let you out?" Death inquires of her.

"Nergal did, as I looked well enough in his eyes."

"He and I shall have words then. You on the other hand will be back in bed, one way or the other. Now up you go then." Death tells Morgen before scooping her up.

She sighs to herself but puts up with it, knowing he's just worried for her. Nergal however, does indeed have his own words for Death, "And just where are you going with her?"

"To bed, she needs to rest."

"She's doing well, can you not see?"

"I don't trust it." Death adamantly states.

"Of course you don't."

"Her fever, while lower, is still too high for me to trust her moving about by herself." Death tells him.

"How about this then? You stay by her side today so that she WON'T be alone. Sound like a fair trade?"

"And if she faints or gets worse?"

"Then I was clearly wrong and you'll get the satisfaction of being right, maybe." Nergal points out.

Death sighs heavily but finally puts Morgen down. She is a bit woozy at first but with Death's help she's able to steady herself. Aleyn then comes over, his walking cane giving him away. Aspen does so as well not too long after.

"Well then, now that I'm rested, how is everyone?" She asks warmly.

"Ah Aspen, uhm everyone's well. Aside from Morgen obviously." Death tells her chuckling.

"So I heard from Nergal. Now let's see what I can....." Aspen begins to say before glancing at Aleyn. In a split moment she goes from warm to cold, "YOU..."

Aleyn realizes he may be screwed but tries to play it safe, "Uhm Aspen I know our history is 'complicated' but I'm truly sorry about what happened with.."

"DO NOT EVEN SAY HER NAME!" Aspen suddenly shouts at him, her body forming wooden spikes and thorns.

Nergal however pays them no heed as his hand touches her shoulder, "Aspen, whatever happened between you two can wait. For now, my sister requires your aid."

Aspen quickly looks back at him, "WHATEVER SHE HAS HE PROBABLY CAUSED!"

"Aspen calm down, we already knew that much and he regrets it. He's even trying to help fix his mistake. Seriously I've not seen you go from calm to angry in such a short time." Death points out cautiously.

Aspen then turns to him, "KEEP YOUR SARCASM TO YOURSELF DEATH!"

"I wasn't being sarcastic! I was being serious Aspen, yikes." Death expresses in concern as he backs away with Morgen.

Nergal then pulls her into his arms, "Aspen, calm yourself. We can talk later about this. But for now please calm down. Before you explode completely and take the building with you."

Aleyn is slowly walking off in pure anxiety, "I should go...I'll be by later I just...need to get away..."

Death recognizes what's happening and quickly ensures Aspen can't watch him leave by sending a mental message to Nergal, "Aleyn's close to having a panic attack so he's leaving. Don't let Aspen notice this."

"I'll try my best." Nergal states with gritted teeth as the thorns and needles are now starting to be an issue.

With that he brings Aspen inside Morgen's room, with Death and Morgen following after them. Death shuts the door once everyone is in and hopes Aleyn will be alright. Although he does wonder if it has something to do with the Dryad from the night before. Aleyn meanwhile tries to get his heartrate down whilst his Father contacts him.

"Aleyn, you need to come home. Your heartrate is at an all time high. You're clearly not safe there."

"I have to remain...I just need help...calming down...hopefully...she comes again...I should be more hidden this time..." Aleyn says between each frantic breath.

"Aleyn...how many times must I tell you? That girl shouldn't mean a damn thing to you. She nearly got you killed. I doubt she could help you in ANY WAY."

"Enough...I'm calling her here...with or without your consent..."

"Don't try my patience boy."

Aleyn however finally shouts, "SAY ONE MORE WORD AGAINST HER! ONE MORE DAMN YOU!"

Then as he collapses to his knees, his vision growing fuzzy as his lungs grow tight, his Father tries a new approach. A far gentler one, "Aleyn, please remain calm. Take slow and deep breaths. I'll be there soon enough."

"No...no that won't...be necessary."

Death however rushes outside to see what Aleyn is shouting about. Only to find him on the verge of passing out, "Oh shit. Aleyn!"

Death tries to help him up, only for Aleyn to wince badly. As his hand is on his chest, "Don't...I'll be fine...I just...need to take care of something."

"Right." Death says with suspicion before trying to keep an eye on Aleyn. Once he's calm enough, he slowly gets up and moves away from Death.

Aleyn makes it to his room and locks the door behind him once inside. Death however isn't keen on this and tries finding another way to watch him. Finding Fuzzball coming over, he tells him, "Be as stealthy as possible. I know you don't know Aleyn that well yet, but you can try and meet him later. Understand?"

Fuzzball makes a calm yip of sorts before saluting Death and going into a castle vent. From there he moves along, trying not to alert Aleyn. He waits inside a pipe with a small opening and watches as Aleyn works on himself. Death meanwhile decides to head off and get a glass of water for Aleyn. That way he won't come off as the spy he's being right now. Through Fuzzball, Death sees Aleyn remove his clothing. But stopping at his underwear, sparing Death and Fuzzball the sight of a certain part. Fuzzball can only see above the waist to begin with, but it's still enough for Death to get an idea of what's happening. He notices Aleyn beginning to remove various bandages on his body before being shocked to hell and back. As underneath the bandages, lie several severe burns and lesions galore. Each looking more painful than last. Fuzzball has to hold back the urge to jump out of his hiding spot. As he remembers how painful those things are from watching Death treat himself in the past with similar injuries. He always let Fuzzball lick what he could since he knew the rodent only meant well. That and it was always helpful to have the mini, fluffy healer around. Death makes a mental note to comfort Fuzzball later so that he won't feel bad. Aleyn then grabs new bandages, and after cleaning himself with a wet rag, he begins to spread a strange paste around his body. His burns occasionally still smoke as well, as if he's continually being burned by something unseen. Aleyns keeps spreading the paste whilst prepping the bandages. He also searches through his medical bag for something. When he pulls it out, Fuzzball cringes at the scary looking jet injector. He then, much to poor Fuzzball's discomfort, injects himself six times. Once in both arms, once in both legs, one into his chest, the final into his neck. Six vials for six areas of the body. Death feels he's seen enough and tells Fuzzball to carefully vacate after discontinuing the spell he was using to see Aleyn. Aleyn then rebandages himself and gets his clothing back on. Fuzzball however goes around the room carefully in the meantime before finally running through pipes along the walls. To make it seem like something is chasing him through the vents. Even making distressed sounds on purpose to hide why he was really there. Aleyn is confused at the sudden fuss and finally hears Fuzzball fall down one pipe before hitting a bend near the floor. He hadn't meant to do that, and naturally was both surprised and unhappy at hurting himself. At least it was working to his advantage.

Aleyn looks around and grabs his cane before going to the pipe Fuzzball fell down. He opens it up and asks into it, "Uhm hello in there?"

Slowly Fuzzball makes his way out with a very much real limp. Naturally Aleyn feels a bit bad for him, and being reminded of his love, scooped him up. Gently he works to clean the soot off of the rodent and furiously rubs the spot on Fuzzball's head before realizing it's just brown fur.

Fuzzball just gives him an annoyed merph in response to that.

"Sorry little friend. Didn't realize you had a spot. Now let's see what happened to your leg."

He immediately flips Fuzzball upside down without warning, much to his worry. Fuzzball naturally starts freaking out, as he's never liked being upside down. Aleyn however just keeps trying to calm him down before being spooked at a sudden knocking. Which came from a now very concerned Death.

"Is everything alright in there?"

"Yes, a limt came down from one of my pipes. Accidentally injured himself. Just a moment." Aleyn informs him before unlocking the door.

Fuzzball is naturally shaking after the being upside down thing and makes a little distressed whimper towards Death. Death of course scoops him right up and checks him over. "Damn it Fuzzball, what did you do to yourself this time?"

"He injured his leg, I can help him out if you wish."

"Well I'm not a veterinarian so...I guess I'll trust you on this." Death says to him.

"Don't worry, I've had a few of these little balls of fluff as patients before. I'm sure he won't be much different. Although is that his real name?" Aleyn inquires.

"Yes it is. I know it's not creative but he wanted to keep it so it stuck." Death points out to him before gently scritching Fuzzball's head just on his spot. Which got him stamping his foot that wasn't injured luckily.

"Never would've expected a man like yourself to have such a tiny creature as a companion. Especially one that doesn't have much fighting capability." Aleyn muses.

"Very few people do, and I use that to my advantage whenever he is with me. He can deliver messages for me, serve as a decent distraction, and even heal me should I have need of it. I even figured out he can shoot rock bits from his mouth at the speed of the average bullet."

Aleyn's eyes widen briefly, "Interesting, anyway I'll fix his foot."

"Alrighty."

With that Aleyn gets a makeshift splint on the little guy and makes sure to give a few scritches to Fuzzball himself. Since the little tyke was able to be a little braver with Death around. "There, does that feel better then?"

Fuzzball gives a little bark in response as Death scoops him up carefully, "I'm guessing I should keep him on a cushion for now?"

"It'll definitely help."

"I'll do so then, thank you Aleyn. Sorry about Aspen, I honestly have no idea which of her branches went up her ass but oh well." Death casually states before walking off, then once he's out of earshot his whispers to Fuzzball, "Next time, please just do what you're told."

Aleyn eventually leaves his room, having gotten a little satisfaction from helping Fuzzball. From there he goes off to see how Morgen is doing, whilst hoping Aspen is calm enough to at least not want to yell at him. Luckily she's not in the room, only Death is as he places Fuzzball on the softest cushion in the room. One that Morgen pointed out to him, and of course she feels bad that Fuzzball got hurt. Even if the big fluffy baby got himself hurt. Aleyn naturally starts with her temperature, which has become annoying to her by now.

"Sorry Morgen, but I need to be sure."

"I know Aleyn, I know. Are you alright yourself though? I know how your anxiety can be at times." Morgen gently questions him.

"Oh I'll be fine Morgen, no need to worry for me. Although, it might help to know your symptoms."

"This morning I couldn't deal with brightness, although...I admittedly haven't tested if I can yet." Morgen explains embarrassed.

"No need for embarrassment, we'll just check now." Aleyn says before moving the blinds open a slight bit.

He winces alongside with Morgen, not being comfortable with bright lights normally. Eventually his eyes do adjust and he notices Morgen is handling it fairly well. She's just squinting slightly now. Naturally he asks her, "Just how bad was it this morning?"

"I couldn't see anything but white. Just white. It was honestly a bit frightening." Morgen admits as Death pulls up a chair close to her.

"So that's what it was? The harshness was just amped up for you?"

"Yes Death, you could say that. It was painful as well, as if my eyes were truly burning. Luckily they aren't like that so much now. But I don't think they're quite ready yet, still have a slight sting to them."

Death pulls her closer to him and shields her eyes as Aleyn closes the blinds back. Once that's done, Death sees her eyes still have a faint glow. He lets Aleyn see for himself, "This mean anything to you by chance? I've never seen this before."

"It has some baring. Morgen, I'm..going to have to do more tests involving you. And I'll have to ask more questions."

"In other words, a full on examination?" Morgen asks.

"Yes. Are you comfortable with that? As a doctor I must always ask this."

"So long as Death is nearby, yes."

"Fine by me, his help may be needed anyway. We'll see." Aleyn informs her before beginning things, whilst hoping Aspen doesn't show up during it.

He draws a bit of her blood for a sample, along with saliva, skin, hair, and then begins for 'intimate' and 'private' samples.

"Ok I'll need a sample from your....vagina..." Aleyn informs her as he turns bright red.

"Uhm....well...ok..." Morgen says shyly.

Aleyn then opens her legs slowly before quickly telling Death, "You're likely the person she's the most intimate with, if you'd be so kind..."

"I don't know what I'm doing. You're the doctor you do it." Death immediately tells him.

"I've heard you've done some field work."

"Yeah, as a Battle Medic. On battlefields, for soldiers. Most of which were men. I usually had someone else take over for women as I didn't trust myself with that due to a lack of knowledge." Death tells him highly embarrassed.

"Ugh fine. Sorry about this." Aleyn says before slowly inserting his hand into her. Death makes sure her legs don't close up and choke Aleyn as he's doing this. Although he's just embarrassed as Aleyn is, and it only gets worse as Aleyn realizes something. That Morgen had sex recently, and it resulted in semen residue being all around her interior, "So....how much did you...place in her?"

Death groans before holding back a shout as best he can, "I don't fucking know ok?! Why would I...even think about that during the moment...why would ANYONE think to remember that?"

Aleyn sighs, "Cause now we're going to have to 'clean her out' to get a clear sample."

Death gets a wild look in his eyes and is made all the more uncomfortable, "Oh Creator help me."

"Relax, please...you're not helping to keep me calm by freaking out."

"Why don't both of you just calm down already? Honestly is it really that uncomfortable? If so, just fetch Aspen or Mina."

"No!" Aleyn shouts to her.

"And no to Mina either, she'll skin me alive." Death tells her.

Eventually the two work together to get her cleared out, and her Dream Entity side kicks in and 'helps things along'. Both men are left throughly freaked out and finally Death calls up Nergal, "Please help us out here. We don't know what we're doing."

He shows up in a flash, or rather a portal, and has no reaction at all. That is to Morgen anyway. If anything, he laughs at Death and Aleyn being extremely embarrassed. "Seriously, I don't know what seems to be the problem."

"Uhhhhhh Morgen just...emptied herself of...my semen residue that was in her..." Death expresses in the most embarrassed tone he's ever had.

"Oh is that all? Well what if I told you that for our kind, that's normal?"

Death and Aleyn both appear to have a synchronized aneurysm before they both ask him, "HUH?!"

"I'm being honest, it is indeed a thing that happens for female Dream Entities." Nergal states frankly.

"Care to explain what else happens with a female Dream Entity?!" Death yells at him.

"Well for both sexes, Dream Entities are able to well...express a level of control over their genitals essentially. Normally on how it both looks or acts. Females' parts typically change how they feel whilst males' parts change their shape. But only to some degree." Death has a sudden realization, particularly regarding his origins and has to sit down. Fuzzball naturally makes a worried whimper before trying to head over to him. Course Morgen just uses her magic to put him and the cushion on Death's lap. Death doesn't seem to notice and Nergal actually looks concerned, "Uhm...I think I may have broken him. Oops."

Morgen would ask more about herself, but is more worried about Death, "Is he...alright?"

Nergal checks him over briefly in his mind, and finds Death having a mini freakout in there. "Seriously?"

"I just found out...that the idea for my dick...came from your race! Aaaaaaaaaah!"

"I don't know how, but the possibility is still there." Is all Nergal can really say.

"That doesn't help with anything gaaaaaah!" Death shouts with an undistinguishable emotion.

Nergal facepalms before vacating and telling Morgen, "He'll be like that for a while. He's currently contemplating his existence."

Morgen sighs before asking nervously, "Uhm...is there anything else you might be able to tell me? Anything I should know?"

Aleyn groans as Nergal explains further, "Yes. Uhm for your side of things you're able to control most of what goes on in there, during intercourse. Such as tightening, wetness, inner movement, and also able to somewhat form additives like tendrils or sharp spikes. If you're up for it and if it's within reason so to speak."

"Very well then......uhhhh...I think that'll be all for now on that....uhm....oh dear..." Morgen says in her own deep embarrassment as Death slowly starts coming down from his existential crisis.

Aleyn finally realizes a certain term he's missed through his embarrassment, "Wait...Dream Entity. Explain?"

Death does so as best as he can, hoping Aleyn will get it without too much trouble. Aleyn ultimately does, with some minor confusion to boot. However he figures that perhaps this all explains why Morgen's body seems to be reacting the way that it is. Luckily the sample he gets from Morgen's vagina is untainted this time, so he's finally able to remove his hands from inside her. From there he places his samples away in his medical bag for private study. After that he left them to continue his work to help Morgen. Death remained however, intent on ensuring her comfort. Gently, he lifts Morgen up and holds her close. Morgen in turn rests her head against his chest whilst Nergal leaves some of the dream fruit nearby for her. Death eventually begins to massage Morgen as well, as the whole process was likely painful. Morgen practically melts at his touch as she enjoys herself thoroughly. She soon falls asleep and Death is finally content to place her back down. From there he chooses to lay beside her, but upon grasping her hand, he hears Crom speak up.

"Yeah, real sweet isn't it? The feeling of love? Or could it be perhaps, that your instincts are just kicking in?"

"Enough."

"Merely just pointing out a possibility."

Death growls quietly, "What possibility?"

"Simple, that you're just reacting to your 'baser instincts', your most basic desires."

"I'll not hear another word of this." Death says to him.

"And the seeds of doubt, are thus sewn."

"I can just as easily reap them, now shut up!" Death shouts out loud.

Morgen stirs a bit, but doesn't wake up. Instead she rolls over to wrap her arms around him. This snaps Death out of it and calms him enough to settle back down. He does his best to keep the doubts at the back of his mind at bay. Hoping that for once, Crom will be wrong about him. A quiet voice in his head only affirms this notion to Crom.

"You're wrong about him."

"He knows I'm not, at least not entirely so." Then at realizing what going on, "How is it you've gotten in here? He's still awake?"

The voice gives no answer, it only continues to defend Death, "You know nothing of his heart or soul."

"Oh believe me girl, I do. So does he, despite what you think." Crom replies slyly before cocking his head in an all too familiar way, "I'll have to bare your trick in mind for later."

It's then that Death finally hears the voice properly and realizes it's Morgen's, "Leave him alone. He has nothing you want."

"Not true, even now he lives on in the exact shell I've been waiting on. But that's not a conversation for now, especially with him listening in. Which is again quite interesting, given what you've so graciously shown me. However I'd rather not be pestered by someone who's only just now is starting to put on the 'big girl britches', as it were."

With that Morgen snaps awake, having been shunted out by Crom. Death of course looks her over, "Are you alright? What were you thinking? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine, believe me. I merely wished to ease your mind. I wasn't expecting Crom to be the cause of your discontent."

Death only sighs, "He's often bothersome, but he's only one of many things that bring me...discomfort..if anything."

"I see. Well perhaps you should relax for now? The day has been stressful for you I'm sure. And something tells me Crom is picking up on it."

"Mayhaps. Lunch is probably ready by now, so I'll go check with Mina on that. Make sure she brings you something." Death informs her whilst getting up.

"Ah of course, be easy on yourself today though. Please."

"Don't worry, I'll be mindful. For your sake at least."

Death then made his way out of the room. He finds Mina easily enough as she's making her way to the kitchen.

"Ah Mina, might you bring Morgen her lunch today? She's resting in bed as..."

"I'm aware of it, Vortigern told me. No need to worry Horseman. Off you go."

He leaves her be as requested and goes to head outside. Figuring maybe some training may get his mind off things. He found Sygr and Bardak working together to train Arn yet again. He did his best to follow both teachers. Listening to Bardak's advice to keep his inner beast calm whilst also trying to absorb Sygr's battle strategies that can avoid savagery but also channel it. Death chose to watch them for a time. Being curious about it as the group continued to train. Bardak soon noticed him however and flagged him over,

"Hey Death, get yourself over here will ya?"

"I'm fine just watching Bardak, I know precious little compared to you two." Death expresses to him.

"That's a fat load of shit right there. Ya know lunar magic right? Maybe ya got some opinions to share?" Bardak insists.

"A lunar mage? Huh, who'd have thought? A Necromancer using magic known to be used by healers." Sygr says.

"There's more to it than just healing magic. Lunar magic has many aspects to it, some simple, some complex. Depends on what you're looking for or need." Death tells him.

"Really? Prove it."

"Well then, observe." Death says before casually causing the axes currently in Sygr's hands to slip from his grasp.

As they float in midair, Sygr is agape. And Arn quickly exclaims, "How did you do that!?"

"Simple, Magnemancy. In other words, magic over magnetic fields." Death tells the youngster.

"What else can you do?" Arn asks amazed.

"Well I can actually calm down a feral werewolf, or one that's just having a moment of lunacy. So long as I have sufficient distance and time that is."

Arn actually hops upwards, "Awesome!....well if you're into magic anyway."

Death only chuckled, "Right. Although speaking of the moon, you've been tracking it right Bardak? You know when the full moon is?"

"The last time you asked me this, it was four days ago." Bardak states.

Death counts on his fingers for a moment before freezing, "Shit, we've only got three days! AND THAT'S A MAYBE!"

"You're not only one worried, I hate full moons." Arn tells him.

"Both of you take it easy, we'll manage. We have all day to prepare you Arn. Just stay calm, you'll be fine." Sygr promises him.

Arn can only nod as the elder wolf pats his back. Death meanwhile feels something bite his neck, it stings something fierce as well. "Argh Ah.....ssssss....what the hell?"

"Now that I have your attention, I need to return soon. Preferably within a day, as Morgen's condition worries me too much." Barrcus informs him through one of his spiders.

"Next time, just say something. That REALLY fucking stings." Death replies in annoyance.

Arn, Sygr, and Bardak all look up in time to see the spider wave at them, "Greetings everyone."

"Ok then that's a little creepy." Bardak immediately says backing away slowly.

"Uhhhh...why is the spider talking?" Arn asks nervously.

"Brave warriors, the both of you." Sygr says shaking his head.

"Hey! I know when to fear the small! And that my friend, is CREEPY!" Bardak affirms to him.

"I am Barrcus. Morgen's adoptive Father and 'bodyguard' as it were. I'm currently stuck within the arena and have only recently been able to find time to myself. Figured I'd use my current time now to plan ahead with you all. As you'll all be perfect for it. Two fresh former gladiators, one who has espionage experience within one according to stories, and a werebear Orc who is known for battle prowess."

"Get to the point Barrcus, you likely have little time." Death informs him.

"Indeed I do. So I shall be brief. You'll need to free me from the arena, preferably tonight if possible. I'll leave you to come up with a plan for that much." Barrcus tells them.

"Well there's a problem with that....ya see Barrcus...full moon's in three days. We kinda gotta make sure this here boy is prepared for it." Bardak points out.

"Yeah, so tonight isn't going to happen spider. Give us until after full moon to handle this." Sygr suggests.

"I cannot wait that long. My own power has slowly been draining. I could probably last a few more days with proper nutrition. But without it I will not last much longer. That and my worries for Morgen only make it harder for me to concentrate on 'recharging' myself." Barrcus informs them a bit frantically.

"I'll ask Mina if she can make a care package for you. From there one of us can deliver it to you. If you have a crystal still, we can send it that way." Death says.

"Unfortunately, I do not."

"Then I'll ask Morgen to try delivering it through your dreams tonight. I'm sure she'd happily do so, just need to be sure she's well enough tonight."

"If she is still ill, do not let her enter my dreams. I won't have her pushing herself during recovery. Honestly though I've no idea what she sees in that youth. He even worries me sometimes, given what I've sensed from him." Barrcus states.

"You mean Aleyn?" Death inquires.

"Oh yer talking about the string bean? The pale guy with the cane?" Bardak asks.

"Yes him." Death replies.

"Dunno why he could be creepy to anyone. He doesn't look so tough." Arn points out arrogantly.

"Don't be brash boy. Even the leanest of men can be extremely dangerous individuals. They always have ways to destroy you." Sygr warns him.

"Heheheheheheheh...words to live by Jotun. Words to live by indeed." Barrcus states in agreement.

Death then heads off to return to Morgen. Finding her is actually extremely easy given that Mina is trying to coax her outside. Morgen's ultimately a bit unsure but Death finally steps between them, "What's going on now?"

"I thought she might enjoy some fresh air. That it'd get her feelin well faster." Mina points out.

"Be gentle with her Mina, don't force it. Her eyes may still be recovering themselves. Let me be sure about it first." Death tells her before checking Morgen again. He sees the glow is extremely faint, fainter than earlier in fact. But he's still not convinced entirely and asks Mina, "Is there any parasols in there? Perhaps some shade would be best for her."

"Horseman, it's early winter. She'll not burn to death ya know." Mina protests.

"I know I know, but just trust me on this Mina. Please?"

Morgen sighs and finally steps out into the light to prove the point Death's trying to make. Of course she still squints a bit to Mina's confusion. "There....proof enough?"

"Uhm...Morgen..dearie..what's goin' on?" Mina inquires nervously.

"I'm recovering from illness Mina....I need shade for now. If I must be outside...please fetch me a parasol."

Mina finally grabs one from inside for her, and rushes to hand it over. Morgen has a bit of trouble opening it with her limited eye sight, but Death goes and aids her with that. Once it's open, the shade definitely helps Morgen out. Death then gently leads her out into the light while she's under the parasol. From there he asks her, "So, do you think you could send a care package to Barrcus through your dreams tonight? Provided you're well enough of course."

"I may be able to. Is he in need of extra help?"

Death only nods, "He'll need proper nutrition to keep up his strength for at least a few more days. Three to be exact."

"Why must he wait longer?"

"Arn's beginning to lose it, as the full moon will be upon us soon. For his sake we have to hold off. But Barrcus needs the help." Death tells her.

Morgen sighs and replies, "Well, Mina would know what he requires. But I can try and work on strengthening myself for tonight to be safe."

"Understood. Do you need any assistance with that?"

"I shouldn't, but should I have the need I'll inform you." Morgen explains.

"Very well."

Death then walked back inside to see about getting peace and quiet as Mina and Morgen have words with each other on the matter ahead. Once he returned to his room, Death began to set up some incense and a chalk circle. In a few key spots on the circle he placed a few black candles. As he began to meditate within the circle, he could hear something tapping his window. Before long, he could smell the culprits too. Death did his best to ignore it though. While Crom couldn't touch or harm him in this moment, he knew the mostly dead deity still had ways to get to him. Eventually he finally reached some semblance of serenity as the incense finally drowned the scent of the Styxian Roses. Crom meanwhile had finally gone quiet, allowing Death his moment of calm. Course after some time, Death finally exited the circle. As he began cleaning up and putting things away, Crom spoke up.

"Why do you keep doing this? Aside from the peace and quiet."

"It shuts you up for a while...usually. Why so talkative this soon after?" Death questions him.

"Just..felt like it. Although you might want to deal with those for a moment."

Death glanced at the mirror in the room to see his reflection pointing towards a window. Looking outside he found the roses he'd smelled during his meditation. "And I am to believe you didn't just force the roses up here why?"

"They are attracted to the dead Horseman, we both are very much a part of that. In one way or the other."

Death shook his head before using only a small bit of Crom's power to force the rose vines away from him. Afterwards he sat at a desk before looking through his inventory crystal. Eventually he found a small box with Orcish symbols on it. He hadn't opened it in so long, and Crom was instantly interested in it.

"Not getting any ideas are we?"

Death didn't answer straight away, instead he opened the box. Inside it was the broken pieces of a charm. He picked up one of the shards as Crom watched him keenly. As Death kept glancing at the shard, Crom finally released two shadow hands from inside the mirror. One gently wrapped around Death's shoulder, the other his neck. An obvious threat as far as Death could tell.

[hvlfwygod]

shiver | griffin, ben, gabriele, len, patrick

summary: it’s an unusually cold night in New Athens trigger warning: anxiety/panic attack mention, blood

The temperature had dropped lower than expected, and Griffin wished he’d brought his sweatshirt. His exposed arms were covered in goosebumps, and the slight breeze that rustled grass and leaves compelled him to cross them, trying to coax warmth back in.

“Are you cold?” Len asked from their spot beside him and snugly wrapped in a cardigan.

Griffin eyed the clothing enviously. “I just don’t want to make another shirt. I have so many.” His words seemed to carry a flair, like he was bragging. Maybe he wouldn’t have cared another night (it was true he hadn’t paid for an outfit in five years, and that, to him, was noteworthy) but it felt like a particularly cruel jab now, with Len this glum.

If the comment bothered them, though, they didn’t show it. “We can go back now if you want, I feel like I’m just complaining in circles.”

“You’re allowed to complain in circles, though,” Griffin replied with a tiny shrug. Another breeze cut through the uselessly thin t-shirt he was wearing; he valiantly ignored it. “Would you let me complain in circles?”

Len shrugged in return. “Yeah. I know. It’s just frustrating. I know that people have had, like, years and years to train but I feel like I should be picking up on something by now.”

Griffin couldn’t understand why this mattered so much, but he supposed he had a failsafe if he couldn’t hold his own in battle, so he kept this opinion to himself. “I think we all suck at first.” He winced. “Not that you suck. Sorry. Just that...”

“No, I get it. I’m much better at learning like, languages and memorizing words. I need more time.” Len said. “Stage combat was always my weak spot,” they added, chuckling in a resigned way that made Griffin think he was doing a poor job at comforting them.

He shivered again. “Yeah. But I don’t believe that you’re doing as bad as you think you are.”

Len smiled a little. “You’re so cold, dude, let’s go back.”

“I’m fine!”

“You’re literally shaking. It’s late anyway.”

“I don’t care. Here,” Griffin pointed to the spot of orange glowing up ahead. “Lets go sit by the fire. I promise I won’t freeze to death.”

“Okaaaaaaay,” Len said, but the were clearly cheered that Griffin didn’t want to end their night just yet.

When they asked if he was willing to take a midnight stroll through camp, he’d been surprised. He never thought he’d be one of the people they’d turn to when they were feeling down. Maybe everyone else was already asleep, sure, but he chose to believe Len picked him specifically.

Already at the campfire sat a pale, skinny man, staring blankly into the crackling flames. Len, upon seeing him, became serious all over again, as quiet and stiff as when they first started walking. Griffin, upon seeing him, jolted; he had been trying to find a funny video he saw hours earlier and hadn’t looked up from his phone until they were in the circle of benches.

The man’s eyes lifted from the fire and he frowned at their collective expressions. He looked familiar, but Griffin couldn’t recall a name. “Sorry, did I scare you?”

“No,” Len answered, at the same time that Griffin said “do you work at the cafe?”

He looked between the two of them for a moment, then nodded. “I do, yeah. I can get out of here if you guys want to be alone.”

Len sat down at the closest seat to them, which happened to be the furthest from the man. Griffin frowned. “I mean... If you want. You live in... town?”

Another small nod. “Yeah. I just liked to um... come here, sometimes.” Another quick glance to Len, and Griffin followed suit. They looked supremely uncomfortable. “But it’s late,” he continued, “so...” He unfolded himself and got to his feet— Griffin wasn’t sure why, but he was expecting someone shorter to emerge from sitting.

"See you around,” Griffin offered by way of goodbye. The man just nodded for a third time, and walked off. Once he was gone, Griffin sat down, exhaling loudly. “That was weird. Do you know him?”

“Not really,” Len said. Already, tension was melting off their shoulders. “My siblings have pointed him out to me, though. They don’t like him. I’m not sure why but from how they talk it’s not good.”

“Yikes.” Griffin stared into the nighttime as if he could still see the man’s retreat. “I bet you could take him, though.”

Len snorted. “You think so?” They smiled at Griffin and he felt himself relaxing again, too. He put a palm flat against Len’s back, between their shoulder blades and moved his hand in little circles, trying to comfort them like his dad might have. The heat from the fire spread over them both.

“Forget him. And forget all that stuff about combat. Tell me about your... hm, your favorite playwright. Living playwright.”

Len scooted a little closer to him, their smile spreading. “Just one?”

                                                 —————

He barely remembered the walk through town, through the woods, through camp, ending at the fire. Which was concerning.

Everything beforehand was still clear, at least, though it got fuzzy around the time he’d been lacing up his shoes. He’d had, gods, a lot of whiskey, repeatedly refilling the glass before reaching the bottom so he never finished his first cup. A simple enough explanation for the gaps in his memory, but no less concerning. Ben never drank that much anymore.

His entire torso was a hopelessly tangled knot of nerves. A rumbling panic followed him like a shadow no matter where he stepped. It loomed on the horizon, pleasantly and casually informing him that he couldn’t outpace it forever. I know, Ben grumbled to— he needed to stop personifying his anxiety, he was talking to himself.

He wondered if Jacob would still be awake when he got back, still sitting in the same place he’d been when Ben announced that he was taking his walk. He wondered if, when he came back inside, Jacob would sense the drifting, uncertain manner of speech, the slight quiver in Ben’s limbs, that always preceded panic attacks. He wondered if Jacob would feel vindicated, then immediately scolded himself for the uncharitable thought.

A whisper of noise caught Ben’s attention (and brought his heart straight up into his throat) but when he swung his gaze around he saw nothing but grass swaying in the breeze. He shivered. “Gods,” he said to no one. “Fuck. Calm down, Bentley.” 

Ben hated to admit it, but he knew Jacob was probably right to essentially bully him into therapy. He hated it. He hated every single morning his roommate cheerily asked if he’d made that appointment yet— which was every morning, and had been for weeks. He hated that it was starting to wear him down.

Damn him, Ben thought bitterly. He regretted explaining a single thing about his childhood, now that it led to this. Jacob had the common decency to not treat him like a porcelain doll— Ben might have moved out if that was the case— but this wasn’t much better.

The worst part was that he couldn’t even tell on Jacob because everyone would agree with him. No, the worst part was that he agreed with Jacob.

But what was he going to tell a therapist? I know exactly what the problem is, the ghost of the person I killed follows me around and I’m starting to lose it.

Alternatively: I’m hallucinating everything, so on top of being a murderer, I’ve already lost it.

He shivered again, and picked up his pace. The trees started to clear, giving way to the edge of New Athens.

Ben could very nearly hear the voices of several friends tell him there was plenty more reasons to go, but he shoved them away. He didn’t want to think about it, because then he would start to think about letting them down. It felt different this time. But everything led back to Colin and it would never stop. His life preceding that afternoon and all the years after circled back to him, over and over. How could he explain why he couldn’t make this useless appointment to Jacob without Colin bubbling up through the floorboards?

A familiar, sharp guilt sprang out from the tangle of nerves. His heart felt impossibly heavy as it thudded too fast in his chest. He felt alone and exposed under the dark sky, no more trees left to conceal him.

Stark, irrational fear greeted him along with the bare sidewalks. He saw people in the distance like hazy, dreamt-up visions, streetlights dangling in the darkness, surreal and unreachable. Please don’t happen right now.

He’d had way too much whiskey. And he was sure, he was certain, he wouldn’t make it home before a revenant found him, dragged him back to shadow. Please, please don’t happen right now.

Shaking, Ben hurried home.

                                                —————

It was uncanny. Gabriele exited the bar— feeling a sudden need for chilly, fresh air— just as a person passed the building. They were rushing, and clearly nervous. It felt like a cue. For a fleeting, disorienting moment, he thought he was seeing a ghost. But... no, this person was far too alive, and Gabriele was almost embarrassed to have made the mistake. Their hands were hidden in their pockets, face tucked down, moving just shy of a jog. It seemed that whoever they were, they were hoping to pass by unseen.

Shame, then, that the sight compelled Gabriele so urgently to follow. His goddess was watching, arched over him, staring down with the endless voids of her eyes. It might be nothing but curiosity on Nut’s part, or a simple observation she wanted him to see. He waited for the figure to get further down the street before he started to walk behind them.

She was saying something, but he didn’t quiet catch it. The ancient tongue did not click in his brain, not when he was so focused on keeping the stranger in sight and looking as cool as ever while doing it. The breeze bustled him along, unseasonably chilly.

His cue quickly seemed to change. Maybe she’d lost interest, or maybe this stranger was just meant to be the first step of many. He could sense his goddess like she was walking with him, a scatter of footfalls echoing in his mind.

Sure enough, the stranger turned left, and Gabriele felt a tug on his elbow, guiding him to the right. He obliged, leaving the stranger behind. Whatever they were running from, he wished them well.

What followed was a half-empty street. Gabriele frowned as he slowed his gait. Many of the homes had lights shining, still; when he passed beneath a window, he heard a quiet croon of music. This street was populated. But the feeling that came to him was incomplete. No, monco— only the Italian served. Incompiuta, maybe, or... interrupted, sospeso.

Gabriele stopped moving altogether. His goddess was whispering again and he strained to hear it. It sounded like her voice was falling directly from the sky, pattering off the sidewalk like large drops of rain. More of the same: guasto, frammentare, jagged and bloody stitches.

Worry moved him now more than curiosity. He found a bench and sat, tucking his legs underneath him. The wood was cool, and he shivered. Taking a deep breath, Gabriele looked up to the sky. Show me. She did. 

Gabriele watched the stars until they came down to him. Endless eyes gave him sight, and he stood, walked, until he reached the banks of a river he did not know. She knew it well, though, and urged him to step in.

Gabriele made it as far as his knees before he heard the chatter. A current begged him to swim home, no... away from home. The water gathered around him, soaking his clothes through.

He was shivering, back on the shore, and something was bleeding. He couldn’t sense what, but he was afraid to move lest he come undone. Something was probing in the back of his mind, hand grasping at air. He felt his coming up to meet it, fingertips just, just missing. His goddess found his palm, placed something soft there. The softness went over his head, cocooned him, and he curled up on his bed. But he knew whatever waited on the other side of the veil could rip him back into inky nothingness at any moment.

The bed became earth, became a lake of scarlet spilling from a body that was and was not his, became an airless void that looked to him like the sky empty of its stars, became a name, a name, a hand grasping through the dirt, through the water. Bones and flesh rebelling against the call, unfolding and unfolding and unfolding. A bird fluttered its wings impossibly, and his heart moved in time. 

Gabriele found himself again, folded over, his hands pressed to his stomach. He trembled, cold. “Co... Cosa dovrei fare?” he asked aloud because he didn’t trust himself to form the thought coherently.

The taste of the river coated his tongue. He felt himself on a boat, rowing. He saw the stitches, bursting and wrong, all wrong, and him, picking them apart.

To this day, Gabriele did not completely comprehend the messages his goddess sent. But he understood a warning when he saw one. He understood a mission when he heard one. “Ho capito, dea. Grazie.”

                                                 —————

They wound up moving to the porch of the Dionysus cabin and Griffin finally stopped acting tough and made himself a new shirt. It looked like the flannel that someone had been wearing in a video Griffin showed Len earlier.

“That’s so cool,” they sighed, pinching the fabric. “I’ll never get used to the fact you can just, do that.”

He shrugged, but Len could see the little smile even in the dark. “Thanks.”

Music was playing from Len’s headphones, which was split between the two of them. Conversation came in small bursts at this point, Ricky Montgomery filling the comfortable silences in between. Griffin was leaning into his hands, eyes closed. Len by contrast was still replaying the frustrating afternoon they’d had. Archery practice had gone... fine. Jesse had even complimented their form, but to Len the words had felt empty. A consolation, something nice to say because everything else was critical.

Their hands still hurt, the memory of cramps in their fingers from hours before. Sighing, they cracked their knuckles.

“Hey.” Griffin’s pointer finger pressed into Len’s shoulder. “Are you on a hamster wheel in your brain right now?”

Len scoffed, their eyes weirdly stinging. They begged themself not to cry right now and their tear ducts blessedly listened. “Yes.”

“I promise you’re making it a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

“I knoooow,” they groaned, putting their head in their hands. “I know, I know. I just... I dunno. I feel like I’m running out of time.” It was Griffin’s turn to scoff, but before he could argue them, Len continued. “Not like, in life. I just... I wanna go to college sooner rather than later. And I’m, I guess, afraid to go back out there and not be ready to hold my own.”

Griffin’s mouth pushed to one side while he thought about this. “Well... You did it before, right?”

“Not really,” Len mumbled. “I never really had a problem until I did, you know? And then I came right here. I was being stalked by this really creepy monster. And I didn’t even get rid of it! Oh, shoot,” they lowered their voice, “we have to be quiet because my sister is asleep. Anyway, I was pretty much useless. Do you know Brett?”

“No.”

“He’s cute. Um... I mean.” Len blushed. “He’s a child of Nike. He’s from Georgia, too. He like, by pure luck, was in town when this was happening. He saw what was going on and rescued me.”

“What? That’s so cool! Sorry.” Griffin nearly whispered. “That’s so cool.”

“Yeah...” Len sighed again. “He was sooo good. He made it look super easy. I just, I feel like I haven’t retained anything since getting here. If I walked out of here tomorrow I’d be a sitting duck.”

“I can teach you a few things if you want,” a voice behind them said.

Headphones flew as Len whipped around and Griffin jumped nearly out of his skin. Patrick waved from his spot in the doorway to Len’s cabin. His shirt was on backwards, and he was lighting a cigarette.

Len was not one to harbor negative emotions about other people. They forgave their middle school bully the first day of freshman year, and couldn’t even bring themself to hate the seniors who ruined the set pieces for 42nd Street. Patrick was no different: Len did not dislike him, but they definitely didn’t trust him. And seeing him here at this time of night felt wrong.

“Um...” they started. Griffin’s hands were fumbling to pause the music. “That’s okay. I’m already getting lessons from Jesse.” They realized belatedly that Patrick was related to Jesse, which— wow, that made no sense.

There was no sound save for the sizzle of Patrick pulling on his cigarette. He breathed out the smoke slowly, his eyes sharp with annoyance at Len’s response. The image made him look like a poor imitation of a very annoyed dragon, Len thought to themself.

“I’m not an archer,” he replied eventually.

“So...”

He took another drag before continuing. “So, pick something else you want to know. There’s more to life than whatever Jesse’s showing you. And if you’re not retaining it, maybe he’s a bad teacher. I could give you the basics for a spear, easy.”

They tried their best to stay stoic, but now Len was annoyed, too. “No thanks. If I want to learn that I already have Tai to show me.” 

Patrick’s face morphed instantly into a scowl. Len felt a terrible satisfaction. Was this petty on their part? Yes. They’d never even discussed training with Tai, but Len wanted Patrick to go and thought this was the best way to make him leave.

He didn’t. Patrick just rolled his eyes and kept smoking. “I see he’s gotten to you, too.”

Griffin crossed his arms over his chest. “Hey man, can you leave us alone?”

Patrick held up the cigarette. “The lady of the house says I have to smoke outside. If you have a problem, take it up with her.”

For some reason, knowing that their sister was up way later than she said she’d be, all over this guy, made Len actually angry. They weren’t sure what to do with their hands, so they copied Griffin, crossing their arms and glaring at the man. He stared back at them, and they huffed. “Why do you even smoke at all?”

Len felt a little invisible line keep their gazes locked on each other, like they were staring down a tunnel and Patrick was at the end of it. They didn’t look away.

Patrick paused. Len expected a comeback, or at least another eye roll, but instead the man leaned closer, frowning as if he hadn’t heard them. “What?”

Len’s nostrils flared. They hadn’t broken eye contact yet, an impressive feat for the child of Dionysus. “Do you think you look cool? Because you don’t. Those things just make you die faster.”

Patrick still looked lost. “Um... What are you saying?” He angled his head toward Griffin but still didn’t move his eyes away. “Did any of that make sense to you?”

Len flushed. How could someone be this condescending? It would never make any sense to them. “Don’t answer him, Griffin.” (Griffin, good boy, didn’t answer Patrick.) “Just forget it, don’t make my sister stay up late, she has work tomorrow.” They turned back around before he could respond, picking up their phone and pretending to search for something.

“What the fu... Oh my god. Whatever.” There was some mumbling behind Len’s back, the scrape of Patrick stomping out his cigarette, and eventually the click of the door as he went back inside.

After a moment of silence, Griffin snorted. “Dude,” he said, breaking down into laughter. “What the hell is going on? Why do we keep running into weirdos tonight?”

Len released a breath and let the anger go, then shook their head. “I have no idea.” The spell of a bad mood broke, and they started giggling, too. “Maybe we should call it a night before we catch a third strange and unusual demigod.”

That only made Griffin laugh harder. He put a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. “Gods. Yeah, yeah, I should sleep.” He wiped a tear from his face, then slid out of his flannel. “Here, you earned this.”

“Griff—”

“I mean it. I have way too many clothes.”

“You’re gonna be cold!”

“I’m literally two minutes from my cabin. Take it. The longer you take the longer I’m exposed to the elements”

Len felt like they might cry again. “Ugh, fine, gimme.” They snatched it from his hand. “Go home.”

Griffin stood up. “I had a very nice night, Len. Um, thanks. And I hope I helped?”

“You did,” they assured him, standing as well. They were kind of glad that they’d decided, on a whim, to text him first.

“Cool.” They both paused, then went in for a hug at the same time. “I’ll see you at Gender Bender Club.”

Len laughed. “Yes. Can’t wait.”

They stayed out for a while longer after Griffin left, their headphones back in, clutching his gift to their chest. Again, they couldn’t quiet their mind. But instead of the afternoon replaying, now it was the look of utter confusion on Patrick’s face. The way he’d stared back at them for so long, like he’d been stuck in place.

(Had he blinked? Had they? A small shiver travelled up their spine.)

Len shook their head. They weren’t putting energy into worrying about him. As the song faded out, Len stood up and turned to go inside. It really had gotten cold tonight, which was good news for them. They were going to throw open all their windows to let the chilly air inside, and sleep in Griffin’s flannel.

[dimsumdamsel]

92 truths that you dont really need to know about me but im gonna tell you anyway ! !

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

tagged by: @slavshiro ohoo THANK YOU ILY

LAST… [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my mom just called me to tell me to turn the stove on [3] text message: the love of my life, sonia!!! [4] song you listened to:  말이야 (I Mean That) by CLC!!! quality song  [5] time you cried:  dec 8 when i thought i only got 10/60 on my calc final cause i had an anxiety attack in the middle of it and called my cousin on her birthday and cried to her about being worthless and how my parents deserve a better daughter, one more like my successful brother :^) i havent cried since then because im even more dead than ive ever been :^)

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: nope, i dont want to relive any of my past relationships; i mean it ended for a reason so? but maybe for a future relationship if it comes to it?? theres still an extremely low chance of it happening though lol  [7] been cheated on: not that i know of but probably not [8] kissed someone and regretted it: ksjngkejrnkgne yeah, elementary school with isaiah mike lmao what a mistake  [9] lost someone special: mmmm not recently  [10] been depressed: i’m honestly not sure– like its not bad enough to where i would need medicine but i do feel down, empty, and find it hard to be happy a lot?? its mostly cause of school but baHhhhahaH yikes dog pictures never fail to cheer me up though [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: im a good girl, i dont plan on drinking until im legally allowed to lmao even than, i probably would still be reluctant 

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] orange (orange clothes are ugly though) [13] cream / white !  [14] dark blues ! 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: sweats honestly no, i havent made any new friends for a couple years now? i mean i met people form key club but i dont talk to them often  [16] fallen out of love: i guess  [17] laughed until you cried: i think so  [18] found out someone was talking about you: yO SO MY FRIEND TOLD ME TODAY THAT SOMEONE I DATED KEEPS TELLING MY OTHER FRIEND THAT HE MISSED ME AND honestly get over me please, like its been like what nine months now and youre not going to get anywhere with mulling in the past? dont bother other people about this because they dont want to hear it.  [19] met someone who changed you: NOT IN THE PAST YEAR KFKNDFKE [20] found out who your true friends are: i never have fake friends? like even if they wanted to gain something from me there would be nothing to get lmao [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: nAH

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: probably a little more than three fourths [23] do you have any pets: i have a six inch fish, my dad has a six inch fish, and my mom has two smaller three inch fish (the ones my dad and i own are at least five years old now and the ones my mom has are less than a year old) [24] do you want to change your name: nope, my parents chose it for me and i want to honor that, plus i dont think any other names would suit me  [25] what did you do for your last birthday: i went out to eat kbbq with sonia and then stayed home for the rest of the day !!!!! thank you sonia ohoo i would’ve just spent it doing nothing wihtout you kjngkjer [26] what time did you wake up: 6:30 am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: dinking around on my phone probably [28] name something you cannot wait for: short term: the week to end, long term: owning a dog  [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: 3 minutes ago  [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i was more confidant about myself and my ability to do things  [31] what are you listening to right now: good luck by aoa [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: i know a tommy??  [33] something that is getting on your nerves: :3 [34] most visited website: “tinklr dot hell” [35] elementary: i miss my elementary school friends : ( [36] high school: fuck the counselors  [37] college: high school + more crying honestly, i like it though, i feel more free (at least in the running start program lmao) im waiting to see if UW seattle and bothell want me next year though and i really want to die at the though of them not accepting me cause i’ll just be an even bigger disappointment to my family lol  [38] hair color: dark brown but a chestnut-ish color in the sun (i really want to dye my hair so its that chestnut color all the time though) [39] long or short hair: i like short hair but i currently have long hair thats three or four inches under my armpits, i plan on cutting it soon though [40] do you have a crush on someone: no serious ones, just the “wow he smiled at me “ and “gOd he held the door for me i am Snatched” kind of little crushes [41] what do you like about yourself?: i like that i was able to make good friends [42] piercings: ears [43] blood type: B+ i think– not completely sure if im + or - but i know its B for sure [44] nickname: none, just pet names from sonia and jiejie by gil ohoo [45] relationship status: single and not really looking for anything, i just want a dog [46] zodiac sign: sagittarius [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: i surprisingly have a lot of favorite american shows like bones, psych, monk, criminal minds, leverage, saving hope, pushing daisies, ghost whisperer, basically all shows on ion tv minus law&order, then theres gravity falls and bobs burger, and then a bunch of animes and dramas [49] tattoos: none but ive always wanted one either on my wrist or inner arm ! [50] right or left handed: right handed

FIRST… [51] surgery: never  [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: lisa! we’ve literally known each other since we were born and shes always going to be my favorite cousin and one of my best friends [54] sport: track  [55] vacation: dont remember very well?? i saw some vcr tapes of us going to disney in 2001 though [56] pair of trainers: ive never had any trainers, just running shoes?? i had small red sandals that squeaked whenever i walked when i was a kid though 

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: water (ive been drinking so much water lately but i’m always thirsty so i lowkey think theres something wrong with me) [59] i’m about to: knock out  [60] listening to:  情歌王 by leo ku (its like a compilation of classic love songs thats 13 minutes long but i could sing the entire thing karaoke style easily)  [61] waiting for: death  [62] want: to not disappoint my parents, my friends, or myself anymore  [63] get married: eventually i guess  [64] career: student, scribe/visual interpreter/reader/proctor for my college’s DSS 

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs !  [66] lips or eyes: eyes ! ! which is funny cause making eye contact with people makes me Uncomfortable  [67] shorter or taller: taller please, im tired of being the taller friend and i want to feel small for once  [68] older or younger: older, i’ve had enough with younger guys lmao  [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic but spontaneous is good too  [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms i guess  [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive?? [72] hook up or relationship: relationship wtf i dont even get how hook ups work alright  [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant lmao 

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? no what the heck [75] drank hard liquor? nope  [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? lost contacts (which sucks cause i wear hard contacts since they cant make soft ones with my prescription and only replace them once a year, thankfully i can use the ones from previous years) but never glasses  [77] turned someone down: no  [78] sex on first date? yikes no  [79] broken someone’s heart? ya but it was for the best [80] had your own heart broken? ya but i was never that sad about it [81] been arrested? no oml i sweat every time i see cop cars [82] cried when someone died? no one close to me has died so far, but i def cried at the ladies’ code car accident  [83] fallen for a friend: nope 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? i want to  [85] miracles? yes but i have yet to witness any [86] love at first sight? mmmm to a certain extent– i think its mostly based on looks but when you get to know them that when the real love happens [87] santa claus? used to exist probably  [88] kiss on the first date? depends  [89] angels? yeah, why not 

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: sonia del casal : ) [91] eye colour: dark brown [92] favourite movie: listen ive watched your name (kimi no na wa) a grand total of sixteen (16) times and i could still watch it another ten times (i love to suffer)

tagging @sweet-hunny, @hideous-kojimmies , @panda-p-king, @puervy , @otonai , @izumiiz , @hxanns , anyone cause yikes i dont know very many people