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sequinsmile-x · 9 months ago

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Achene

It felt almost cruel that the world carried on, as if hers hadn’t shifted with the loss of a baby she never got to meet.

Emily and Aaron try to move forward together.

-x-

Hi friends,

My insomnia is back in full swing, which means the hurt/comfort is also back in full swing.

Couldn't say where the idea for this one came from, but it wouldn't leave me alone and writing it kept me from accidentally napping on the couch after work and making my sleep pattern even worse.

As always, please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 2.8k

Warning: Miscarriage

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

When he wakes up alone, he knows where he’ll find her.

It was a pattern they’d fallen into over the last couple of weeks. Usually, he’d be the one who woke up first, Emily’s face still pressed into his chest, a tiny patch of drool on his shirt underneath her open mouth. He’d always wake her gently, running his hand up and down her back in a way he had done on their first night together, a habit that had carried them through from boyfriend and girlfriend, to fiances to now husband and wife. He liked it, enjoyed the predictability of how much she hated the mornings and waking up, the way she’d grumble as she slowly opened her eyes, never quite able to fight a smile as their eyes met.

The last two weeks had been different. She’d woken up before him every morning, the sheets on her side already cool to the touch. It made him worry she was barely sleeping, if she was sleeping at all, and it only added to the concern already pooling deep in his gut, seeds that had been planted days ago blooming and taking up all the space in his chest. He blows out a steady breath and stands up, rolling his neck as he steps towards the ensuite, the light streaming out from under the door confirming what he already knew.

He doesn’t say anything as he steps into the room. He leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms over his chest, giving his wife the lead in how they move forward. It was a grim pattern they’d fallen into, one he didn’t know how to get out of, and it broke his heart.

“It’s already fading,” she says, the only indication she’d noticed him walking into the room. She turns to look at him, a positive pregnancy test in her hand, a tight forced smile on her face, “I have to tilt it in a certain way to see the result now,” she clenches her teeth and sighs, shaking her head at herself as she places the test back in the draw she had taken to keeping it in, “Soon there won’t be anything…”

She trails off, but he already knows what she’s going to say, and he steps forward, his hands on her hips as he tugs her into a hug. She wraps her arms around him tightly, her hands in fists in the back of his shirt as she buries her face in his neck, anchoring herself to him as if he was the only thing keeping her upright.

They’d been trying. Meticulously planning to have a baby that they’d both wanted for a long time. There was a box of ovulation tests in the cabinet that Emily started her days with to keep track, and a thermometer in her nightstand that she used to track her basal body temperature. It was something they’d wanted desperately, and when after a few months they got a positive result from a pregnancy test Emily had taken because she felt a little off they were overjoyed. Aaron had run into the bathroom the moment he heard her crying through the door, ready to comfort her but she’d beamed at him, the very same test he’d just found her holding clutched in her hand.

Their joy was short-lived.

The scan Emily had excitedly scheduled that morning, the only one they ended up having for that pregnancy revealed two things. Emily had been a week further along than she’d calculated, closer to 9 weeks than the 8 she’d estimated, and there was no heartbeat. The air had been sucked out of the room when the doctor told them, Emily’s hand slack in his as she nodded along when she was given instructions on what came next. It was a conversation she’d had once before in wildly different circumstances when she was a child herself.

When they made it home from the hospital she’d finally broken down, cried the tears she refused to shed in front of anyone other than him. She’d deleted the app on her phone that was tracking her cycles, the one she’d only just switched to ‘pregnant’ mode, and tearfully told him the fruit for 9 weeks, a gimmick they’d both unexpectedly loved, would have been a strawberry.

The pregnancy test was the only evidence they had that the baby had existed, and watching it slowly fade was devastating, another type of loss he hadn’t anticipated.

“We should get ready for work,” she mutters against him, not loosening her grip, and he sighs, taking a moment to press a kiss to the top of her head before he pulls back, his hands on her lower back as he smiles encouragingly at her.

She hadn’t been back to work since the miscarriage, but today was supposed to be her first day back. None of the team knew what had happened, something Emily had been insistent on, and they thought she’d been sick with the flu. The lie had worked, and it also gave them a good reason why Aaron wasn’t currently going away on cases. Whilst the reason their friends had for her absence wasn’t true, his desire not to leave her alone was.

“You don’t have to go back today if you don’t feel ready for it,” he says, reaching up to tuck some of her hair behind her ear, “The boss has a bit of a thing for you so I think you’d get away with more time off.”

She chuckles sadly and turns her head to kiss his palm, pressing her grateful love into his skin, “I do have to go back,” she says softly, reaching for his hand and linking their fingers together, “I can’t just keep sitting here thinking about everything that could have been,” she shrugs half-heartedly, “Plus, I’m not sure how much longer the others will buy the flu excuse.”

He nods and runs his hand up and down her back, “If you want to come home at any time-”

“I just have to tell you,” she says, leaning forward to stamp her lips against his, “Thank you. For being…well you I guess.”

He pulls her into a hug and kisses the side of her head, “You never have to thank me for loving you, sweetheart.”

___

She feels tired in just about every possible way.

She’d been back at work for a couple of weeks and it felt like she’d never been away at all. The team didn’t ask many questions beyond asking if she was okay on her first day back. Life carried on much like it always had for her and Aaron. They went away on cases, they spent their weekends with Jack, they loved each other. But there were moments when she felt stuck, when the grief would be overwhelming and make her breath catch in her chest.

It felt almost cruel that the world carried on, as if hers hadn’t shifted with the loss of a baby she never got to meet. She knew they’d try again, the doctor's soft assurances that they could at her recent appointment ringing around her head, but it didn’t help. Especially since she knew if she was still pregnant they’d be getting ready to share the news with their friends, their chosen family, and the thought of it made her ache.

She sighs as she settles into the couch, relieved to be home after a long couple of days away. She hears Aaron’s familiar footsteps on the hardwood floor and she smiles as she looks at him, gratefully accepting the glass of red wine that he hands to her.

“Thanks, honey,” she says softly, shifting so she’s facing him when he joins her on the couch, “It’s nice to be home.”

He hums as he sips his wine, “You’re telling me. That mattress in that motel did a real number on my neck,” he complains. She places her wine down and puts her hand on the back of his neck, pressing her thumb and forefinger into his skin, massaging the area she knew he carried the most tension, “God that feels good.”

She chuckles and leans in to kiss his cheek, “When we’re in bed I’ll massage your back if you want.”

“I’d love that,” he says as he turns his head to capture her lips in a kiss and smiles into it. He’s glad to see her more like herself, the sadness that had permeated everything in recent weeks still there, but not as overwhelming as it had been. He’d missed her smile, missed the sound of her laugh, and more than anything he wanted to protect her from being hurt anymore. It’s why he suddenly feels nervous, worried that what he’d been planning for a few weeks might set her back. He decides to go ahead anyway and he blows out a slow breath before he reaches into the pocket of his suit jacket, “I got you something.”

She smiles curiously at him and tilts her head as he pulls a square box out of his pocket. Her curiosity suddenly turns to panic as she furrows her brows and tries to think of what the date is, if she’d somehow forgotten something important as she waded through her grief.

“It’s not our anniversary is it?”

He chuckles and shakes his head, reaching out and pressing the box into her hand, “No, Em. It’s not. This is just…” he doesn’t know how to say it, how to put it into words, so he clears his throat, “I think you’ll understand when you open it.”

She hums, “Oh, that’s mysterious…”

She drifts off as she opens the box, her words caught in her chest along with her breath, making her feel like she could burst with emotions she can’t name. In the box is a necklace, a delicate silver chain with a tiny pendant on it, the detail of which, the seeds and the ridges, were only visible up close

It was a strawberry.

She huffs out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob and she covers her mouth with the hand not clasping the jewellery box. She can’t do anything other than stare at the necklace, at the pendant she knows Aaron would have painstakingly chosen because of a comment she’d made the day they found out about the miscarriage.

“I ordered it a few weeks ago,” he says, clearing his throat again, hating that he can’t read her expression, that he can’t tell what she’s thinking, “It took a little while because it was custom made. Dave gave me the name of a guy.” He adds, his smile fading as his wife still doesn’t react. Dave had made a joke, one Aaron knows he wouldn’t have made if he knew the circumstances, about Aaron enjoying the finer things in life now he had married into money. “I thought it would be good for you to have something-”

“To remember the baby by,” she says, finally finding her voice and looking up at him, tearing her gaze away from the necklace. Her chest feels hollowed out, like all the love she has for him is forcing its way up her throat, “Aaron…”

He only feels more worried when she trails off again, her eyes shining as she trails her finger over the small pendant, and he swallows thickly, “I’m sorry if this was a bad idea, I just wanted to do something to help-”

This time she cuts him off by kissing him, her lips stamped against his as she grabs his chin, holding him in place as she rests her forehead against his, the jewellery box pressed between them.

“No, it’s perfect,” she pulls back and looks at him, chuckling wryly as tears fall onto her cheeks, “You’re perfect.”

He smiles and wipes her tears away, his touch soft against her skin, “You want me to help you put it on?”

She nods and passes him the box, watching intently as he carefully picks the necklace up and undoes the clasp. She turns and pulls her hair to the side and she breathes shakily as he puts the necklace around her neck, his touch gentle as he does the clasp up and adjusts the chain. She touches the strawberry pendant, holding it between her thumb and forefinger and she sighs, closing her eyes as Aaron tugs her back into his embrace until her back meets his chest. He wraps his arms tightly around her and kisses her cheek, and she rests her hands over his.

“I love you,” she says, grateful when he ignores the shake of her voice, “So fucking much.”

He kisses her temple and pulls her impossibly closer, “I love you too.”

___

One Year Later

Emily hums contentedly as she rocks back and forth in the armchair, the nameless melody turning into a yawn as she looks at the time.

3.20 am

She tilts her head down to look at the three-week-old lying on her chest, his eyes wide open as he refused to fall asleep. She chuckles to herself and kisses the top of her son’s head, taking a moment to breathe him in.

“You really do get your hate of sleep from your Daddy, sweet boy,” she says softly, kissing his head again.

“I don’t hate sleep,” Aaron says, smiling when she turns to see him standing in the nursery doorway, “I just get up early.”

She rolls her eyes at him, “Sounds like the same thing to me,” she says as he walks across the room and joins them, perching on the arm of the armchair, “Did we wake you up?”

“No,” he assures her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and smiling at the sight of his youngest fighting sleep in her embrace, “I woke up and you weren’t there so I came to see how you were doing.”

“We’re okay,” she says, turning her attention back to the baby, “We’re okay, huh? We’re just trying to get back to sleep after a diaper change and a 3 am snack.”

Aaron watches contentedly as Emily runs her hand up and down the infant's back, lulling him to sleep against her. He wishes he could go back and tell his wife that they’d make it to this, that the clouds had parted and they’d found happiness after the storm.

“He gets the need for a 3 am snack from you,” he says and she playfully narrows her eyes at him before she looks back down at her son.

She strokes her fingers over his cheek, smiling as he twitches, the corner of his mouth turning up into something that resembles a smile. His eyes finally drift shut, his fight against sleep a battle he had lost, and he relaxes against her. The only thing that hadn’t relaxed was his fist, tight even in his sleep around the chain of her necklace, his little fingers next to the strawberry pendant that symbolised the loss they’d had before him. It was a complicated kind of grief, one she thinks she’ll never get used to. The acknowledgement that if she hadn’t lost that baby she wouldn’t have her son was hard to accept, a bittersweet taste left on her tongue whenever she thought about it.

“You want me to take him?” Aaron asks quietly, drawing her from her thoughts, and she smiles and nods, taking a second to kiss her son’s forehead.

“Mommy loves you, sweet boy,” she says, kissing him again, “I’ll see you in a little while.”

She watches as Aaron carefully lifts the baby and carries him back towards their bedroom. She follows them, her fingers automatically reaching for her necklace, something she now wore at all times. She rubs the pendant back and forth between her finger and thumb, a movement she had found comfort in ever since Aaron had first put the necklace around her neck, and she smiles as Aaron gently lowers the baby into the bassinet, simultaneously treating the newborn like he was something precious and a bomb that could go off at any moment. He turns to smile at her once he’s done, his smile curious as he catches her staring at him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she says, letting go of the pendant and letting it fall back into place against her skin. She walks across the room and climbs into bed, her exhaustion returning in full force as soon as she’s under the comforter, “I just love you, thats all.”

He smiles and gets into bed with her, tugging her against him as they settle down, both facing the direction of the bassinet where their son was sleeping, “I love you too.”

They fall asleep in tandem, and when they are woken up just an hour later by the baby crying, they are still tangled up around each other, not sure where the other ended and where they began.

-x-

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talesofesther · 3 years ago

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Only yours to see

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: Natasha is not used to being cared for, you show her it's okay to be vulnerable.

A/N: This started out as only a little thing about a funny line I saw on a post, but it took a monstrous turn as I was writing (as most of my stories do) and now we have this... That I have no idea what is, enjoy I guess. Do send me Nat requests I'm out of ideas :P.

Masterlist

"You're gonna bleed out, and it's not gonna be for lack of warning." Your voice rang through the unusually quiet Avengers jet, save for the low rumble of the engine and the occasional pacing of Steve. "Stop being so stubborn." You wave around the rubbing alcohol, gauze, line, and needle that were grasped in your hands, trying to get your point through to one annoying redhead.

"I'm not being stubborn if I say that I'm just fine." Natasha argued back, one hand holding her bleeding side. The cut wasn't dangerously deep, but it was bleeding a lot and needed stitches. She was sitting down looking up at you with a small frown on her eyebrows, signaling that she wasn't going to back down.

Letting out a breath, you broke eye contact with her and looked to the side, meeting Steve's eyes, he gave you a sympathetic smile. It was a simple assignment, but Natasha ended up getting a little hurt, protecting you, of all things.

'Excuse me if I wanna protect you too.' You thought to yourself.

With your gaze softening the slightest bit, you met her eyes again. You saw uncertainty in them, maybe a bit of vulnerability as well which was unusual, but she was always hard to read so you could be wrong. You crouched down to be at her level and noticed her muscles get tense. "If not me, at least let the doctors at the Compound take a look at it."

In the blink of an eye, Nat's hard gaze was back, like she was shielding herself from something. "No."

You dropped your head into your hands. "Dammit Nat, stop acting so tough, I can see you're in pain." The frustration could be heard in your voice as you looked back at her. And apparently, your words came out pretty harsh for her.

"I'm sorry, is this our stab wound? Stay out of it." She practically growled at you, averting her gaze towards the control room, the hand clutching her side tightened its grip.

You could see her uneasy breathing, the way her jaw was painfully clenched and her eyes were shining with wetness. But you had a limit too. "You are insufferable." You tossed the little bundle of gauze into her lap. "Sorry if I care about you." You got up and stomped away towards the other end of the jet.

You didn't see that Nat's eyes locked back into you and followed your every move, with a tint of regret and longing painting her features.

_____

The steady stream of the shower did wonders to your sore muscles, you let the water fall on your face and wash away the remaining tension.

After the much-needed shower, you put on a long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of shorts, exiting the bathroom, you walked back into your room still drying your hair. You were so concentrated on what you were doing that your soul almost left your body when your eyes suddenly landed on Natasha sitting on your bed.

"What the hell." You mumbled to yourself, putting a hand over your heart.

After the first scare of her unexpected presence, your gaze lingered on her. She was wearing a blue hoodie and sweatpants, you always thought she looked the most adorable when dressed in casual clothes, the urge to envelop her in a hug was always there. Her hair was a little bit damp as well, and her features were soft, innocent even, a huge contrast to how she was an hour ago. Her eyes looked at you expectantly, that vulnerable gaze seemed to be back. In her hands, she was fidgeting with a little wrap of bandage.

Natasha averted her eyes and gave you a tight smile, this nervousness whenever she was close to you was still a foreign feeling to her, scary most of the time. She never knew exactly how to act or what to say, it started a while ago and it's been getting worse, she was afraid of being too open and vulnerable, but she dreaded the feeling of losing you. She was yet to admit to herself what this twirl of emotions really was.

"I was wondering if you could help me with the bandage." Her voice was timid, but she felt bad for how she reacted to your first attempt at help.

You raised an eyebrow at her words but decided to not say anything about it. The bandage was probably the last thing she would need help with, but nonetheless, you threw your towel over a chair and sat beside her.

She lifted the base of her hoodie for you to see the wound, already stitched and clean. Shooting a glance up at her in confirmation first, you touched her skin and dressed the wound carefully. Natasha could be stubborn sometimes but she still held your heart, and no matter what, you always cared for her with all the love you had to give.

Natasha shivered when your fingers made contact with the skin of her stomach, your tender touches never failed to make a shiver run down her spine. She knew for a fact that her cheeks were a slightly darker shade of pink now.

You didn't say anything when you finished, just met her gaze and brought your hand up to put a strand of hair behind her ear. Allowing your fingertips to linger a little longer on her soft red locks.

It never failed to warm her heart. Natasha sighed softly and closed her eyes, leaning her cheek against your palm. An apology.

"Come on, let's make some coffee." Your voice was gentle and quiet as you got up from the bed and headed towards the kitchen.

Natasha followed after, she always would. The domesticity of it warmed her chest, it was something you had given to her, a small routine of certainty that made her be able to feel like a person once again. Sometimes you would cook together, watch a movie, sort out your book collection, or you would just bring her along to do trivial things. She thought that maybe that was the reason she felt the way she did, you made her enjoy the simplicity of living again.

She sat on top of one of the counters and watched you organize things in silence, only breaking the peace when the coffee started to brew. "I didn't mean to be rude." She couldn't meet your eyes if she wanted to get her words out. "I'm just not used to people wanting to care for me."

And that was okay. Yeah, she could get on your nerves sometimes, but that's the thing about Natasha, she's lovable in that way. When you started to become closer, it didn't take you long to figure that things would move at a different pace with her. But it was unfair, how she didn't know what love felt like, not really. How she was afraid of letting herself be cared for. How she took a while to understand you wanted her around simply because you wanted her, no favors, no obligations, no double meanings, just her.

You made your way towards her, standing in between her legs and placing your hands loosely around her waist. "But I do, a lot." You smiled at her, and you could feel the light touch of her fingers on your upper arm, pulling you close. "So, will you let me... Take care of you?"

The first answer came in the form of Natasha wrapping her arms around your shoulders and burying her head in the crook of your neck. This side of her, the human and vulnerable, the side that longed to be loved and had spent way too much time feeling abandoned, it was only yours to see. The real Natasha, she was yours.

Your arms closed around her waist tightly, mindful of her wound.

But you were also hers, the way you worried about her, the way she invaded all your dreams. The way that a smile subconsciously came to your face whenever your eyes met. The way her presence alone was enough to brighten your days. It all made you hers.

And even if none of you acknowledged it in words yet, the fact was there. It could be felt in every touch, in every brush of fingers, or stolen kisses before midnight.

Natasha pulled back only to rest her forehead against yours, she relented. "Please."

—⧗—

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated. <3

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #marveledit #natasha romanoff #mcu #marvel #black widow x reader #black widow imagine #fluff #angst #imagine #fanfic #natasharomanoffedit #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fanfic #my story

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tteokdoroki · 4 years ago

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an ode to winter | dabi.

♡ pairing: dabi/touya todoroki x fem!reader.

♡ word count: 14.1K

♡ rating: mature, 18+, mdni.

♡ genre: manga war arc!au, single-parent!au, unplanned pregnancy!au, angst, fluff, smut.

♡ summary: touya todoroki had broken a lot of things, your heart, promises, your window a few times, but you swore he'd never leave your child feeling that way. but when he wants back into your life, will he take no for an answer? And do you even want to say it?

♡ warning(s): please read ! heavy smut, ( literally 5k of it ), MANGA SPOILERS IN THE EXTENDED ENDING, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of semi-toxic!relationships, struggling with parenting, blackmail ??, unprotected sex ( wrap it before you tap it, losers ), handjobs, oral sex ( female receiving ), fingering ( female receiving ), choking, branding, squirting, spit!kink, needy touya lol <3

♡ author’s note(s): OK so this started out as a fic for my bestie @ozzy-bozzy but then turned into this long ass vent fic bc i do be struggling!! i’ve barely written for touya so apologies if his character is off. special thanks to @bakugous-trauma for beta reading n @doinmybesthere for the summary and beta reading and thanks for 4.7K MWAH <3

♡ masterlist | requests

the snow had fallen heavy that day, its flakes dancing along the window panes while you’d brought her into the world. you hated the cold, the way it nipped at your nose and stung at your cheeks, how it could freeze over a heart so badly that it would take years to thaw it out. you’d complained about the ice sheets that frosted your windows to the doctors, the ones on the roads too, but they’d simply wrote it off as your anxieties related to bringing kori home for the first time in such weather.

funnily enough, your daughter much resembled the cold in many ways. you’d named her ‘kori’; meaning ice, since her hair was white as the crisp blanket of winter outside and her eyes a piercing shade of aqua marine, that for a while, had no meaning written behind them except for a cool curiosity that you knew didn’t come from your side of the family. she wasn’t warm either, the first time you held her, her flesh against yours was almost a painful spark of frostbite— you expected that it was related to the lineage she came from too.

you thought that you’d resent kori when she was born; for the struggles that her new life had brought to you. you’d given birth alone and afraid, having lost friends and contact with your family due to keeping your pregnancy a secret. if they had known who caused you to end up in this situation in the first place, you were sure you’d have lost them all anyways. you hadn’t a chance to attend maternity classes due to the hours you worked in order to ensure yourself and your child’s financial security. although, prior to her arrival, dabi had told you that if you chose to give your daughter the todoroki name; you both would be looked after when the right time came.

and like a fool in love, you’d believed him, avoiding the apologetic gazes of the doctors and midwives who’d delivered your baby as you filled out her paperwork and birth certificate. one nurse even asked you if you wanted to contact endeavour for support, and you couldn’t blame her— the rumours of your child potentially being that of natsuo todoroki’s had spread fast through the hospital and it was a given, figuring his bad boy college reputation. natsuo and his ventures into the college life were no stranger to the media, so it didn’t surprise you nor the doctors to believe that this wasn’t the first time a girl had given birth alone to a todoroki child. you suspected that if there were any, enji todoroki would have paid them off.

so you let them believe what ever false truth that might have plagued the hospital walls about yourself and your daughter— not having the heart to tell them that you’d probably receive a much larger sum of money to keep hush about the child that you mothered and the child who’s father belonged to endeavour’s deceased, eldest son.

so you realised, thumb held by the chubby hand of your sweet infant girl; that you couldn’t hate her for the mistakes you’d made and the mess you’d become tangled up in— you could only promise to do your best in raising her despite the odds and difficult circumstances, you could give her the life and childhood that her father never had but most certainly deserved.

“miss yn...”

your midwife; himari enters the room, calling for you— tearing your gaze away from the hypnotising sea-foam eyes belonging to your daughter, the way she looked at you only reminding you of dabi. you’d told him once that his eyes always took you to the mediterranean sea, to which he’d laughed and mentioned you’d never seen it before. when the pair of you realised that this was true, the boy with the black hair and intoxicating stare made an oath to you, that he would take you there someday so you could bask in the warm sun and dip your toes into the clear oceans. you only hoped that this oath still remained true.

“miss yn...” himari tries again, this time stepping further into your hospital room. your thoughts had carried you so far away that you hadn’t realised how close she’d gotten as she lingered by your cot. her hands lay flat against her pale blue uniform, nails you note—neatly trimmed— and a smile that would have made you feel comfortable had you not known she’d volunteered to care for you because she too believed she’d be paid off by endeavour. you almost felt bad that she thought the silly lie was true and that she had a shot at a big time bonus but it was funny to think that no one would believe her when she eventually took to the news to claim that she cared for the next heir of the todoroki empire. “it’s says here, that kori is scheduled for feeding— i was wondering if you wanted to continue breast feeding or try pumping a bottle or two today?”

chewing on the inside of your cheek, you hum with hesitance. feeding kori was something you’d never discussed with dabi, some of the nurses had assured you that it was possible for you to do both— so that you could grow closer to your daughter and form a tight bond whilst also giving the opportunity to others to feed her when need be. there weren’t many others, but you figured that dabi might want to give bottle feeding a whirl when he finally returned from the league business. the business that had made him miss his little girl’s birth.

kori gargles from hunger in your arms, drawing your attention back to her tiny form. a stray strand of hair curls against her forehead from underneath her blankets and swaddling— the end you notice has a slight tint of red to it. the icy shell around your heart thaws. glancing back up to himari; you grin with a decision in mind. “i’d like to try breast feeding again, we can use the pump tomorrow.” you say, voice quiet.

“do you need any help getting her to latch?” your midwife asks, aiding you into a comfortable position to feed kori.

“no,” you smile after getting settled, pushing down your gown to expose your breast to your little girl. “i’ve got her, i can take care of her.”

you say the words more so to yourself than to himari, a hidden reassurance that you’re more than capable of raising your daughter on your own.

for now at least.

that winter, dabi never came home.

the snow melts, the flowers bloom and the seasons change. your daughter grows with the swift transition of the weathers too, her hair is a little longer now but the small curl of red against her forehead remains hidden and the same. her eyes open wider, still that deep shade of ocean blue, she can sit up on her own, throws toys out of her crib and her favourite movies are bambi and bambi two. they’re the only things that she watches, which you hate, because they remind you of her. an innocent child who loses one parent and is left in the care of the emotionally closed off other.

you hadn’t realised how much you would need dabi, but still he is nowhere to be seen.

raising kori on your own proves a challenge, especially now that she’s a little bigger— it was easy after she was born; she was quiet and only made a fuss when she was hungry or needed to be changed. went down easy too, that was until her wails reared their ugly head as soon as the colder parts of winter hit. no matter what you did, the girl would cry for hours on end until her face would hurt from how scrunched it was and her fingers would turn red from the grip she had on your hands.

since her birth, you and kori had to move three times due to the noise complaints about her consistent crying throughout the day, evening and night. by the time february rolled around, you’d ended up in an apartment not so far from dabi’s old neighbourhood— it was a shitty area with high crime rates and an eerie feel to it that made you clutch your purse tighter when you walked home from the late night shifts— you had never had any intentions to raise kori in a dump like this, you wanted a better life for her than what dabi had, but your shabby two bedroom apartment in the dark side of town would be enough for now.

the rent was cheap since your current boss at the local grocers market was close friends with the building manager, but your boss was also a sleaze who thought offering you an extra 10% off of your weekly shop and an expired coupon for the coffee joint down the street would be enough to get into your pants. he was just another thing on your list that you hated about the world, about the current life you lead but you needed to keep him close to keep your rent low and a roof over your head.

besides, it had been a few days since you last saw him at work— the asshole was probably taking a few days to himself while you and your colleagues practically ran the store.

you can’t leave kori with a sitter; they never worked with her. your daughter was far too temperamental for the average person and would spend one night with her before taking their pay and quitting. the only person able to handle your beloved little girl was the old lady who lived two floors above yours, mrs. yamamoto. she was a sweet woman, widowed by fifteen years and had taken a liking to kori that one time you’d helped with her groceries when she couldn’t make it out in the february winter after your little girl was born.

it seemed kori liked mrs yamamoto as well, she was only ever quiet in the woman’s presence and you put it down to how high she had the heat up in her apartment. one time, it was up so high the power in the building went out for an entire night— which was hell for you since kori wouldn’t stop bawling. however; you appreciated the help, you’re sure that without the help of the elder woman you would have been far under the surface— drowning in regret.

but sometimes, it’s easy for the darker emotions to slip through the cracks— take a choke hold over your sanity. there would be nights where guilt would consume you and tears would flow heavily down your cheeks while your daughter slept. it was hard being alone, no one to confide in about the troubles of parenting or to reassure you that you were doing a good job at taking care of your child.

it didn’t help that winter was coming up again, kori’s first birthday fast approaching. the sudden milestone only made you wish that dabi was around more — it hurt you to know that there was possibility he’d run out on you and his responsibilities as a father but part of you believed that your lover was better. the eldest todoroki son appeared way too excited throughout your pregnancy to leave you with nothing.

despite not being able to make it to appointments due to his criminal nature, dabi had somehow manged to find the money to get you a 4D ultra sound of your baby, telling you a few odd jobs here and there allowed him to scrape the cash together. you never asked what it was that he did, afraid of what you might find in the eyes of the man that you loved so much.

why did you allow yourself to love a man who wouldn’t have given you the time of day if he hadn’t broken into your home? his seafoam eyes a glowing shade as he threatened your life through shards of broken glass and then wails of cop sirens outside. were you just as broken as he? had you not realised it yet? you could blame this whole mess on the fact that he kept coming back, but you always let him back in. dabi was a broken man who only knew blood and grit and grime and you were the girl with a chance to lead a normal life— yet you poured all of your heart and all of your soul into loving him because you were so sure that you could fix him.

and every single time you’d convinced him, convinced yourself that what you had could be normal and domestic— dabi would slip between your sheets, pinning you to your bed with your name heavy on your lips and the emotion of love painted into the turquoise flecks in his eyes. they burned with passion while his heated cock sunk between your plush thighs and welcomed him into your warmth. the moans you’d share while your skin slapped together, creating a bubble of safety where you were the only two people on the world.

dabi made promises against your swollen lips as his fingers swirled hidden messages of desire into your slick, puffy clit. he couldn’t give you the ring, the wedding or the house with the white picket fence and dog barking at the post man in the front yard— but he could give you every part of him from the good to the bad, the beautiful to the ugly and he would seal that promise with a throaty groan of ‘you are mine and i am yours...’ into your ear as you came together.

but it seemed that like all things, dabi’s promises were broken like shattered glass— never meant to be kept or eternalised. the shards cut your delicate fingers, the pain numbed as you were left to pick up the pieces and be strong for the small life you were now responsible for.

you were careful to not let the door fly in and hit the wall opposite as you unlocked it, stumbling into your two bedroom with kori’s chubby legs locked around your hips and bag full of groceries in your other hand. “look princess,” you coo down at your daughter sweetly, watching as she drools all over your staff lanyard from work. “we’re home!” bending down, you dropped the produce off by the door before heading off to your living room area, propping kori in front of her toy mat.

smiling down at her, you brush the pure white hair that curls over her cobalt eyes and kiss her freckled cheeks— heart swooning at the way kori giggles in your arms. she’d been on her best behaviour the entire week, keeping out of trouble with the staff at her daycare and mrs yamamoto in the place upstairs, so it was only right that you treat her.

“you hungry babygirl? want mommy to make your favourite, hm?” kori is barely old enough to talk aside from a few babbles and repeats of mama but that doesn’t stop you from asking.

“mmmamamamaa!!”

you press another kiss to her baby fat cheeks before heading to the kitchen to prepare her favourite dinner— spaghetti. ever since kori started eating her solids, she hadn’t been a picky eater and you noticed that her appetite much resembled dabi’s, who couldn’t afford to be fussy about any of the meals you’d made for him before he disappeared.

making the sauce is easy, a dish you’d prepared from when you were a child and used to cook with your parents— you retrieve the ingredients from the groceries and pull out the stuff you’ll need to cook them. you mince the vegetables easily like you’d been taught as your mind gets away from you.

you wish that dabi was here to enjoy the domesticity of your current life— maybe him being around would lift the dark cloud over your life. sometimes it hurt to know that he would be missing out on moments like this and you could imagine him sitting by the couch while kori played with her toys and you cooked for them both. in this world, he’d laugh at her fascination with colder toys and magnets— make a joke about how much your little girl resembles him and kiss your cheek when you served them both up their favourite meals.

tears pool in your eyes at the thought of your wish never being granted and that’s all it takes for you to slip and cut your finger while chopping up the garlic. “fuck!” you boss, dropping the knife and squeezing your hand around the wounded digit. you know that the clattering of the knife has scared kori, and from the way she looks at you, you can already tell that she’s seen you injure yourself. “god, fuck...that hurt.”

there’s a pause in time, while you rinse your cut under the tap, cold water soothing the sting before kori starts to wail like her life depends on it. in a rush, you grab a tea towel in hopes that it’ll stop the bleeding and head straight for your baby, hoping that you’ll be able to soothe her. by the time you reach kori, her eyes are red with tears and snot dribbles from her nose down to her chin while she babbles loosely all the new words she’s learned— in a whiny tone.

“baby, don’t cry mommy’s got you,” you murmur to her, reaching out to the little girl with open arms. your heart breaks at the way her bottom lip wobbles in a watery pout. kori crawls into your arms, white mop of soft baby hair buried into the junction between your shoulder and your neck— her tiny body shakes with awful heaves and cries while her tears dampen the old hoodie of her father’s that you wear, effectively ruining the fabric. “come on honey, it’s okay! momma didn’t mean to scare you...”

she snivels in your arms, quiet for only a second while you walk around the apartment bouncing her. walking kori up and down seems to soothe her for the most part, a trick that worked when she was first born and had her horrible crying fits. “good girl, mama’s got you...” you continue to soothe her, brushing a finger under her white lashes to remove her tears. all is well for a second and it seems her tantrum has calmed, until she grabs onto your wounded finger and makes you curse in pain again.

“shit!”

“m-momma-!” kori whimpers, face creasing in pain as her cheeks start to heat up again. you fear that if you don’t do something soon she’ll bust a lung from crying.

you shake your head in an attempt to calm her down, baby sobs striking right through your body and resume bouncing her, hoping that it’ll work. “shhh kori, honey, it’s okay— mommy’s okay and so are you...” in the process of comforting her, you somehow trip over the discarded knife, sending it flying into the cabinets across from the island and making another loud noise that further spooks kori.

at this she screams bloody murder, the sound of her little chest heaving giving you a splitting headache. you were tired, tired of your daughter’s crying , working long hours with no help and raising a child all on your own. you were tired of the pain spreading through your head and your body and your heart. you needed an out or break at the very least.

you should feel guilty for what you’re about to do, heading for the nursery with a heaving baby in your grip. you can’t think of anything better to do than put kori down for a nap and hope that her crying tires her out— you do your best to pry the little girl from clinging onto your clothes and tuck her into her crib as she sniffles, quickly backing out of her room before she can call for you and make you feel even worse than you already do.

you close the door quietly behind you, somewhat sliding down it while your own sobs take over your body— shaking you violently as you hug your knees to your chest. you don’t know how long you sit there, biting your lips and holding onto in your whimpers while tears stream down the apples of your cheeks, but eventually

you find yourself drifting off with dreams of your happy family.

you jump awake a few hours later, surrounded by a thick darkness from the sky outside. the hum of the city streets helps to bring you back down to earth as you rub the sleep from your puffy eyes and blink away the exhaustion. you don’t quite remember when you’d fallen into a slumber but you figure that kori must have eventually, judging by the quietness that surrounds your apartment.

the blanket of the night allows your guilt to burn brightly in your chest— you shouldn’t have left her alone. scrambling to your feet, you stumble over to the kitchen counter and grab your phone to read the time. 11:06pm. it’s just about time that you check on your daughter, but with two steps of heading to the nursery and you’re met with foreign sound that doesn’t quite fit in with the usual creaks and squeaks of your apparent.

happy gurgles belonging to your baby creep out from underneath her bedroom door, low humming or singing to accompany her sweet sound. humming that you don’t recognise. with a pang of fear to your heart, you reach for the knife on your kitchen floor as a weapon of defence— this would go down nicely with the police. a single mother on self defence...yeah, that could work out.

the knife shakes in your hand as you approach kori’s nursery, barely steady even when you push open the door.

“...touya?”

nothing could prepare you for what you’d see after walking into that room but when your eyes fall witness to your love standing in the centre of the room with a little tuft of white hair cradled to his bare chest. the air around you tingles with warmth as if dabi has heated the place up with his quirk and your little girl curls into him as if she’s known him all her life. but she hadn’t, he hadn’t.

all at once, your heart heals just as it breaks— it’s been so long since you’ve seen the villain that you can’t help but notice all the changes in him, the way his eyes droop a little more with exhaustion and his hair dusted with a the slightest bit of white. he was noticeably thinner too, maybe from being away from a warm bed and good food for too long...so a half of you was relieved that he was home, the other— hurt and betrayed.

“hey beautiful,” dabi’s timbre voice fills your entire being, stimulating your senses into a dull tingle. his lips a drawn into soft smirk as he rocks kori back and forth, your ��baby’s eyes flutter with the gentle indication of sleep. “how’ya been?”

if you weren’t frozen in shock, you would have given the villain a piece of your mind. how dare he...after all this time apart from you, from his daughter...ask how you were doing? your eyes flutter to the open window behind the oldest todoroki son, as if you need to look away from him to convince yourself he’s real and he won’t disappear when you look back.

proven right by meeting the cool, chartreuse sea of his eyes— your throat runs dry as all you’d ever dreamed of saying in this moment, flees from your mind. “what are you doing here?” you say, trying to sound firm even though your voice falls through.

touya stays quiet, twirling a long finger through the small curls on his—your daughter’s head. “i was in the neighbourhood.” he mumbles, gaze tearing away from you to focus on the content infant he has in his arms.

you should feel angry, you should be screaming and kicking at dabi— forcing him out of your home with your child safe in your own arms but your body doesn’t will you to. hurt seeps through your veins at the casual aura in his tone. of course dabi would treat the situation as if it never existed and that he’d been with you the whole time. the pain of seeing him with her as if he’d been in kori’s life from the very start wraps around your heart in a poisonous grip and squeezes hard until you’re choking back a sob, letting it sit in the base of your throat.

you refuse to break in front of him.

“you need to go. you need to put her down and you need to leave.” you attempt to assert yourself in a harsh bark, almost making dabi jump. he’d never seen you like this before, but then again he hadn’t seen you in a year. he could only imagine what motherhood had done to you, especially facing it on your own. touya hesitates, kori shifting in his soft grip— one he didn’t even know that he had as a villain but you steady yourself and repeat your words. “touya, i said you need to leave.”

“why? so you can fall asleep and leave her crying on her own again?” the villain spits out, harsher than he intended. he watches your face fall and your body curl in on itself and he feels bad. dabi had promised you a lot of things since realising he loved you, and not hurting you like his father hurt his mother was one that he’d just broken. relenting, the dark haired villain eases kori from his pec and tucks her into her crib.

there’s a beat of silence and then. “i’m sorry.”

“you should be.”

“yn,” he sighs, running a hand through the light roots of his hair as he leans over his child’s crib. the young father tilts his head, scanning kori’s face while he identifies every characteristic she has from the family he’d done his best to free himself of. “i’m sorry, it’s just— just that she was cold and crying, so i took off my shirt and held her and she warmed up and—“ dabi pauses his quiet rambling, finally looking up from the slumbering baby tucked away into powder blue silk and locks eyes with you. “and she probably has my mom’s shitty quirk. and i can’t get over how much she looks like them, how big she’s gotten.”

touya finds his shirt after admitting that, throwing on the thin white material before closing the window he came through. he moves with the swiftness that comes with his job, and it’s almost peaceful to watch. you stay plastered by the door, torn between falling right into the palm of his hand and demanding the answers that you and your daughter deserve.

it makes you feel a little sick when he gazes down at kori with pride, it makes you queasy at how easy she was to handle to him. touya todoroki doesn’t know half of what it was to raise his child...but did that make you a bad mother? was there something he shared with kori that you didn’t? dabi hadn’t known what it was to love someone other than himself until he’d met you, but you’d spent your entire life around family and friends who took care of you and made you feel cherished every day. you had all of that before you had dabi, and you’d given it all up for him.

shouldn’t you be the one to easily put your daughter down for a nap? to soothe her tears? and for him to come so briskly into your lives and take care of it all when he doesn’t even know what you’d been through, hurts most of all.

“you don’t even know her,” you start, tremble to your bottom lip as the sob in your throat builds up and threatens to burst. “you never saw her after she was born, never cut the cord, never knew her weight. you don’t know how tiny she was when she came into the world, you don’t know because you didn’t come!” with each word, stray tears manage to escape from your tired eyes, but you’re too fixated on dabi to bother to wipe them. it hurts to cry, it stings even as they stream down the apples of youth cheeks but you don’t move.

“yn, sweetness, i—“

“i know how much she weighed when she was born, four pounds and thirteen ounces. she was so tiny i was scared that she would break—“ you’re gasping now, almost choking yourself out on the pain that burns brightly in your lungs and claws its way up your throat. “i know her favourite foods, what fabrics irritate her skin, her favourite stuffed toys, how she likes to be swaddled in her blankets at night or that her curls make her face itch but they’re practically untameable.”

you start to heave, losing breath with every word and dabi does nothing but watch, keeping an eye on kori to make sure she stays sleeping as he steps towards you. “i know that i love her more than i’ve loved anything in my entire life, despite how much i suffered alone bringing her into this world. and i know that i named her kori after the ice that frosted the windows of my hospital room while i waited for... you.”

touya remains emotionless while you descend into madness, letting you cry it out. “i’ve been watching...”

you want to scream, beat his chest and blame him for how insane you’ve become. “watching isn’t enough touya, she needed you. i-i needed you.” you whimper, falling limp against the door frame as your hands move threateningly towards your hair as if you’re going to rip it out from the root. “...you couldn’t come and visit? not once i-in the eleven months that she’s been alive? not once while she’s been breaking me down and giving—“

“giving you a hard time? i tried, i took care of you from afar...i’m the one who made your boss disappear. the one who put his hands on you.” dabi sneers towards the end of his once gentle words, standing a breaths width away from you. you hate that you crave the same touch from him as he gave to kori, but you’re still so mad at him.

eventually, it all becomes too much and you succumb to the tears that wrack your exhausted body. you sway with each choked wail that tumbles from between your chapped lips and dabi surges forward to catch you after kicking the knife from earlier away, letting you sink into the warmth of his embrace. he feels like home, smells like safety and not a word is uttered as he brings you to the floor and cradles you like he did with his daughter.

dabi doesn’t need to say sorry when he shows you through how close he holds you to his heart.

when you finally calm down, dabi lifts you bridal style to your bathroom and draws you a bath with the salts and lavender extract from the cupboard above the sink. neither of you speak except for when he softly offers to help you undress— to which you decline— and when he tells you he’s going to fix something to eat.

you knew damn well that the villain could not cook, he hadn’t been when he was little since endeavour took away the entirety of his childhood and you’d only taught him the basics when he was still on the run and stopped by your place from time to time. his favourite thing back then had been to watch you cook to the weird music you kept playing, hips swaying to the beat and a sparkle in your eyes— but you didn’t do that anymore, he could tell those days were long gone.

dabi orders in takeout in the end and you have half a mind to curse him out for using your money— but the day’s events have exhausted you beyond your wits end, so you eat with him in silence atop your double bed after dressing in an old shirt of his. “stay the night.” is what you tell him, scared that he’ll leave. he puts his cigarette out on your balcony. the doors usually stayed locked so kori couldn’t crawl out on her own but you opened it for him since dabi liked to smoke and you hated the ash.

he promised to quit back then, and he hadn’t now.

“i’ll stay.” dabi says, throwing the butt over the ledge and stripping his clothes as he follows you to bed. he decides not to mention he wanted to stay anyway. you peel back the covers enough for him to slip in behind you, heated arms wrapping around your waist and settling on your tummy, where he rubs small patterns into your skin. the villain’s chest is overwhelmingly warm against your back— reminding you of the days where you would spoon and he’d wait with baited breath for kori to kick.

both of you lay together, wide awake in the dark for goodness knows how long. touya’s breath balmy against the nape of your neck and if you focused hard enough, you could feel his eyelashes fluttering against your skin. he pretends to sleep, refusing to acknowledge that his proximity to you affects him in the worst of ways— evident in how his prominent hard on presses against the swell of your ass.

rolling over, your heart skips a beat at the way your love’s eyes still manage to glow brightly in the dark— ignited by the flames of his quirk and emotions of angst from the past.

they flicker as he looks to you, pale skin illuminated by the silver moon slipping in from your balconies, scars as enticing as ever. tentatively, you reach a hand out to cup his face, not kidding the apprehension that paint his matured features even as you run your fingers down the scars on his jaw. “been a while since we’ve been like this,” is all you can muster up, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek while your free hand snakes between your bodies in an attempt to pleasure the man.

fear strikes you right in the chest, leaving you panting as dabi flips you onto your back quickly, pinning your wrists against the bed. “don’t,” he growls, almost feral in tone and in his eyes. “don’t do something you might regret in the morning.”

you lay still, staring at the man above you in an attempt to read him. doing so had always been hard, but tonight you can see every detail of his life and every part of him. the fear of being his father and disappointing another group of people, a broken man torn between the people he loved and the life he led— you could finally see him. you wondered if it hurt him to be away from you and his child, if he ever thought of you.

you take a deep breath, fabric of the sheets fuzzy in your ears as you shake your head up at him. “i could never regret being with you,” you sigh, dabi’s gaze lowering. “i just need you...”

your proclamation is all the permission dabi needs before he ascends on your neck, almost whimpering at the taste of your skin against his tongue. you know that he’s avoiding your lips, scared that things may not feel the same if he kisses you there— as if your love might have fizzled out from the months that you’ve been apart. the villain’s mouth is hot against your skin, sharp teeth sinking into the column of your throat— it’s not hard for him to find the spots that make your back arch and body tingle, the dark haired man would be embarrassed to admit that he had your body mapped out in his brain. you were all that he thought about in the months between then and now.

you miss his lips, but you fear that if you push your love to far he’ll clam up and withdraw from you completely. you can’t lose him while you have him now. in the meantime, your bodies press against one another hotly, burning while dabi paints shades of blue and purple deeper than his eyes against your flesh before lapping at each love bite with an odd tenderness people wouldn’t think he possessed at first glance. as he works, touya loses grip on your wrists, allowing them free roam across the expanse of his back.

your nails leave light tracks across his back, trailing up from his muscled back to the nape of his neck— curling in the white roots of his hair in an attempt to tug him up to your lips. “baby,” the old pet name tumbles from between them before you can catch yourself, laboured from where you’re short of breath. “please kiss me, please..”

with newly mussed hair, dabi is still for a moment before leaving one last mark at where your jaw meets your neck— wet tongue lolling over the fresh bruise while his large palm move back to cup your head. a thumb belonging to a scared hand runs over your bottom lip, pulling the plump flesh down while he watches your face for a reaction. “are you sure that’s what you want, beautiful?” the villain chuckles into the dark of the night, pink muscle running over his own lips to wet them in anticipation. “you want your man to kiss you?”

your senses go into overdrive, desperate for any kind of contact from the man above you— he feels so close and yet, a million miles away, even with his body making its way between your thighs and your chests pressing together eagerly.

“touya—“ you breathe, barely able to finish your sentence before the man himself delves deep into your mouth. his lips move with hesitance at first, sucking on yours slightly and parting for air more often than he should but you grip him by the whites of his hair firmly and tug him further into the kiss. your tongue dances along the seam of his lips, prying them open as you seek permission for entrance— dabi groans lowly as you tug on his roots and force your way into his mouth, tasting him as if it were your last time.

you swallow each of his moans that mingle softly with your own, while your tongues dance together messily— the kiss were and sloppy as if the two of you were out of practice. your worries fly out of the window from there, it’s good to know that neither of you had been with others during your time apart instead you feel like a teenager making out with their highschool crush for the very first time. dabi’s hips rut into the plush bed beneath you both and you can tell that even the slightest touches are riling him up beyond belief— it’d been almost a year since he’d felt you against him in any way and it didn’t help that you were so ready to accept him.

that you still wanted him.

whimpering at the thought, the villain pauses against your lips to catch his breath— panting softly. you can feel him pulling away, questioning if he deserves to be with you after everything he’d put you through. so, cupping dabi’s jaw, you let your free hand slip between your heated bodies and glide your fingertips along the waist band of his sweats.

“yn, i ain’t so sure about this,” dabi sighs, body twitching at the proximity of your hands to his hardness, his eyelids flutter shut and lock away his beautiful blue eyes— holding fear, insecurity and desire. “what if ya’still regret this later on?”

smiling up at him, you thumb at his cheek and work your hand deeper into his pants, past his underwear. “you’ve been away too long baby, i would regret not being with you more,” you coo up at him just as you grasp at his hardened length, watching as dabi shudders in your grip. his cock leaks hotly against your soft palm from going untouched for so long, your fingers explore him— tracing down the thick veins on the underside of his length. “let me make you feel good tonight.”

“fuck, sweetness. talk pretty with that filthy fuckin’ mouth of yours.” touya breathes heavily against your mouth, both of yours falling open in hot moans. cheekily, you run a thumb over his tip, circling the slit at the top. dabi collapses on top of you, burying his mop of salt and pepper hair into your neck as he drives his hips into your hand at his own leisurely pace. “y’better live up to those words—shit, don’t go letting me down, princess.” jade orbs finally open, heavy with lust and desire as the air around you tingles with a newfound desire to make each other feel good, settling on the planes of your marked and scratched skin.

your grip around dabi tightens while he fucks into your closed fist, wet sounds filling the room from where he leaks at his bright red tip— almost hot as his hands that dance up your sides and tenderly touch at your hips. so unsure, yet so needy. clear, thick precum guides the movement of your hand as it slides up and down your lover’s girth— he’s much bigger than you remember, swollen with an impending orgasm and dabi stutters when you reach further down his boxers to grip at weighty balls full of his seed, just about ready to burst.

he howls from deep within his chest, the noise only muffled from the drool that glides across his tongue before the villain’s wandering and scarred palms stop at your rib cage, settling just under your breasts. you don’t bother to stop pleasuring him even as his quirk ignites, blue flames burning right through your night shirt to expose your skin to the cool night air. without even a second thought, dabi’s mouth ascends on your tits, taking one into the hot cavern while his free hand seers marks over the other.

the thought have being branded by your man makes your hips jump and your hand squeeze his cock in your grip— a reminder of what’s to come later on. his strawberry tongue rolls across your hardened nipple and you yelp in surprise with the sudden feeling of cool metal across the exposed flesh. “y-you have your tongue pierced?” you squeal as dabi repeats his actions, loving the way you arch your back into his mouth and your heart rate speeds up.

“never know when a bit of metal’s gonna come in handy, sugar tits.”

you barely have time to formulate a response before your boyfriend’s mouth is back on you, biting and sucking and marking your raw flesh like a man starved of his last meal— you don’t let up either, quickly pumping his cock as he continues to leak, painting your hand with teases of his incoming release. you’re sure that his sweatpants and the sheets below you will be stained with his arousal from how much precum oozes from his dick, slicking up your hands and creating the perfect flashlight but you don’t dare to think of anything else but the way dabi’s face twists with pleasure as he desperately thrusts himself into the softness of your palm.

his cheeks flush red, globs of drool connecting the roof of his mouth to his tongue while his eyes grow fuzzy at each step he takes closer to orgasm, the very drool from his mouth covers each of your breasts as dabi switches between them— creating a layer of wet against your supple skin that shines under the moon. you flick your wrist around him, faster, harder— giving the villain everything you’ve got to make him feel good.

“shit pretty girl, y’gonna make me...cum,” touya shakes in your grip, eyes crossing and tongue becoming lazy against your marked up chest. his salvia pools against your skin while he pants and fucks your wet hand as if it were your pretty little cunt clamping down on him. “fuck, fuck, fuck. don’t you fuckin’ stop, don’t you dare fuckin’ stop...”

he barks out the demands, but there’s a neediness to his tone and whine to his voice that makes you grin with pride, even if you’re barely there from having your nipples stimulated beyond belief. “cum for me touya, please, wanna feel you come undone for me.” you beg him, ever so slightly and it’s just enough to push the villain over the edge, sending him into an earth shattering orgasm. you don’t dare to stop as you jerk him off, guiding down from his high as his cock twitches from release and paints your knuckles with the thick white of his seed. he mewls contendly into your breasts, slowing his hips while the world of colours dance behind his cerulean eyes.

“here with me yet?” you murmur to him, grasping his wild locks to tilt his head up towards your face— dabi looks so blissed out but the smirk on his raw and bitten lips tells you the night is far from over.

pressing a searing kiss to your sternum, your boyfriend’s pierced tongue makes yet another appearance as he trails the muscle down your soft tummy— biting your navel as he goes. “never left gorgeous, but don’t you fucking dare think for a second that this is over, y’got that?” he sits up quickly, grabbing hold of your doughy thighs and using them to pull you down the bed. the pads of his fingers start to burn marks into your skin, dancing along your legs and stopping just above the waistband of your underwear. “gotta stretch this cunt open before i give you my cock, remind you of who the fuck you belong to.”

spreading your thighs nice and wide, you release a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding as dabi’s hands finally come into contact with your slit, prodding at your slick folds from over your panties. lowering his face between your open legs, your boyfriend hums in satisfaction as he peels your sticky panties away from your pussy. “why, babydoll, you’re so fucking wet down here. this can’t all be for me, can it?” touya teases you, hot breath fanning against your unused sex while his fingers play with the string of your slick that coats them. “y’must’ve missed your man badly for your lil cunt to look this fucked up, s’pecially when i haven’t even touched’ya yet.”

you shiver and nod weakly, willing to say or do anything to feel more of your boyfriend against you. “s’all for you dabi, o-only you could get me this wet, n-no one else could take your place...” you mewl, hips bucking into the air while the man himself watches you grow needier and needier, hormones expelled into the air. dabi grins, leaning into your core once more to press his nose into your wetness, sniffing your spiked panties like the dirty man he is— only to then lay his pierced tongue flat against your folds, tracing your hole with the muscle while his nose bumps at your clothed clit.

“saved this all for me, huh? you’re so loyal, sweetness. waiting for me all this time…” he kitten licks at your cunt until you’re writhing amongst the already solid sheets, forcing his spit into your hole from over the thin fabric of your panties, creating a more prominent outline of your puffy lower lips as your thighs quieter around his head. they threaten to close as he works on you through your underwear— teasing and prodding at your sex to see if you respond the same way to his touches as you used to.

you force your shaking through his black and white locks, grabbing hold of his roots in an attempt to pull dabi back to your heat when he lifts his head from between your thighs— pushing your lips into a pout. “no, no no, baby, please— need you to eat my cunt, want your mouth on me, please!” you cry out, but you’re quickly pacified by his scarred hand which cups your pussy— seat of his hand grinding into your clit.

“god, if i had known you were still this eager to fuck me i woulda come home a long time ago, babydoll.” he chuckles, licking up your inner thigh and biting down on the plush flesh. “need’ta get rid of these though, they’re getting in my way.” the villain gestures to your panties, making you watch as his quirk burns it’s way through the silky material until it’s nothing but ash against your sheets. you gasp as soon as your cute little pussy is exposed to the cool air, missing the warmth of touya’s pink tongue against it. “better.” he sneers, eyes bright and glowing in the dark with a new sense of feral desire.

thick digits press into your tight hole at the same time touya takes to sucking on your swollen clit, forcing their way up your velvet walls in search for your pleasure spot. dabi chuckles against your sticky folds as you begin to whine, hips rolling up into your lover’s face while his tongue draws rough patterns onto your bud. you’ve missed him, missed this. the nights where the villain dabi would sneak into your home, becoming your touya todoroki between the four walls that you shared— where you would spend nights seeing stars by his hand or his cock and he would make you his over and over again. the memories have you clamping down on his digits like there’s no tomorrow, greedily sucking them in as he strokes at the walls of your sex and makes your whole body shake.

touya works hard at pleasuring you, apologising for his absence through slurping the juices from your folds only for you to gush and paint his scarred chin with more of your nectar. the way you taste makes him dizzy, he could spend the rest of his life between your thighs and never miss the outside world like he did before tonight. he wants to be good for you, make you feel good too and it’s not enough to feel the ecstasy roll off of your heavenly body in waves— he wants all of you, mind, body and soul to belong to him.

you can barely breathe, leaking with every swipe of his tongue against you and every twist of his fingers inside of you. you can feel everything at once, the euphoria crackling across your brain, high on the way touya makes you feel. “god, t-touya, don’ stop...feel so fucking good…” you heave in a drawn out moan, barely able to tell what’s up and what’s down as the villain pulls his fingers from your slick hole and replaces them with his tongue ( only after they’ve pushed down on your g-spot over and over again ).

“you’re not the one giving orders, sweet stuff, oh no.” dabi reminds you sloppily, looking like a child with no table manners as your nectar smears across his face. for his own satisfaction, he delivers a harsh smack to your pussy, watching as your entire body jolts and jumps up the bed. “your cunt is mine and i’ll do what i want with it, show you how much i missed it.”

his possessive words almost set you off, the knot in your stomach growing tighter with every pinch of your nub and every swirl on his tongue inside your walls, committing every ridge to memory. your body burns and you’re not sure if it’s from dabi pressing against you so hotly or because of the desire that fuels the fire inside you.

“yours, yours, yours!” you chant like a mantra, high pitched and whiny— your voice mixing with the crude sounds of your own pathetic cunt, that grows louder when dabi spits on your clit to add to your wetness. he lets it drip between your folds, fingers to busy with stimulating you to catch it before it slides between your lower cheeks, opting to use his tongue on you instead.

“ya’like that don’t you? missed your whinin’ pretty girl, fuck, even missed making you a fucking mess.” you keen into his touch, babbling incoherent praises to the man between your legs as he spreads you wider by the ass with one hand and forces his fingers back into your cunt with the other. his fingers curl into a come hither motion, repeatedly pressing down on your spongy spot as he sloppily makes out with your puffy nub— taking only one, two, three strokes to make your eyes roll into the back of your skull and your orgasm to wash over you.

your body convulses, shaking as you’re hit hard by your release— juices gushing all over your lover’s face even as he refuses to let up. “t-touya no...no no...can-can’t,” you whinge, tears clumping in your lashes. dabi spreads your lips again, using three digits instead of two to continue stimulating your clit until another release builds up inside your lower belly— clear liquid gushing out of your abused pussy and staining the sheets below.

he hums proudly, pressing a lasting kiss to your fluttering hole before reaching up to your lips to do the same, barely allowing you the time to catch your breath— chest heaving while you come down from your high. “so pretty when you squirt for me like that, sweetness,” dabi moans into your mouth, allowing you to taste yourself on him. but as soon as he comes, he’s gone— rolling you onto your stomach and lifting your hips so your ass sits in the air for him. “gonna take my cock now, kay?”

“kay,” you mumble into the sheets, brain too fuzzy to resist as the villain manhandles you the way he wants.

after shoving down his sweatpants, the eldest todoroki grips the peachy soft flesh of your ass— smacking it a few times with his heat activated palms to watch the flesh jiggle and his handprint sink into the skin. you lean back, watching over your shoulder as his cock stands at full attention, hard from seeing you come undone on his fingers and tongue. it burns bright red at the tip, another fat glob of precum making it shine and making you dribble with anticipation. “y’such a fuckin’ slut, my beautiful slut… hungry for my cock even after i’ve wrecked your lil pussy so bad,” dabi says with a cocky lilt to his voice, the very tone making your hole clench around nothing. he taps his sticky cockhead against your slit, running it up and down your cunt three or four times— groaning as it slides between your cheeks. the sensation causes your back to arch as you wail, fingers gripping the bed covers so tight that you almost cause them to tear. “don’t you worry baby, ‘m gonna make up for lost time, you don’t have to miss me anymore.”

there’s a double meaning to his words that you don’t ask him to elaborate on, too caught up in the way he teases your hole as he dips his length in— only to pull it right back out. “don’t tease, need you badly,” you plead, earning yourself another harsh spank to your raw ass cheeks.

“shut the fuck up and let me fuck you,” the words are harsh against his tongue, but dabi utters them softly as he relents to his wishes. his cerulean gaze flutters down to where your bodies begin to join, his large hand gripping his length before he starts to push into your dribbling entrance. “god, you’re s’fuckin’ tight, you might as well be a virgin.” pussy spasming at his words, you leak against touya’s cock, creating a lewd squelching sound as he pushes more of himself into you. the weight of dabi’s thick girth causes painful, yet delicious burn which he eases by rubbing soothing circles into your clit once more. “been s’long, i outta fuck you open again, huh?”

“uhuh, take me again touya. make me yours, all over again.” you slur over the spit drowning your tongue, eyes fluttering shut when the villain’s hips surge forward his dick brushes against your cervix. his rough, calloused palm grabs your neck from behind, forcing you down into the sheets while he bottoms out inside of you and pushes the last of his cock past your entrance. the two of you groan in unison, touya sitting heavy inside of your walls before you muster up the energy to say. “move.”

he doesn’t need to be told twice, whilst dabi was enjoying the feeling of being engulfed by your soft, warm insides— cock twitching in relief from time to time— he finds it within him to pull back from your selfish cunt to thrust into you with all his might. the force pulls a broken squeal from between your bitten and bruised lips, your hips pushing back against dabi to keep him inside of you. the pair of you move in sync, bodies dancing in a sensual grind between lovers that moulds your cunt into the shape of your boyfriend once more. “oh fuck yeah baby, oooh, missed your cunny s’bad…” dabi yowls loudly, listening for the squashy sounds of your sexes moving against one another. “christ, you like when i talk about your pathetic little pussy like this?”

you bite down on your lower lip, embarrassed by your own bleats of pleasure when he degrades you like this. annoyed by your lack of answer, touya grabs onto your hips and pulls you off of his cock, only to slam them back into you seconds later. his pace is unforgiving and relentless from there, forcing your body up the bed with every thrust into your core. “yes! like it, love it, missed your cock so bad touya!” you cry, holding onto the sheets for dear life as his dick drags along your pleasure spots and his hands burn marks into your ass and hips.

weakly, you attempt to match his thrusts. circling the meat of your ass back onto dabi and squeezing around the head of his girth every time it plunges into your sopping pussy. your arousals mix as he pounds away at your hole, a thick string hanging between your bodies and dribbling down your inner thighs, tainting innocent skin. the wet noise reverberates across the room, creating a passionate symphony with dabi’s deep, pitiful moans.

even though it had been a while since the two of you had been intimate like this, dabi still knew all the ways to get your body going. he took you from behind but still let his marred hands wonder and explore the planes of your skin, pinching here and there, marking your body as his to use and his alone. there’s love hidden beneath his rough touches, little signs that he missed having you so close to him— having you split open on his cock while you dripped on his pelvis and ruined your bedsheets, was his own way of unleashing his pent up emotions of love, anger and despair onto you and you wanted it. you wanted his good and his bad while he fucked you like his life depended on it, balls deep inside the pussy of the woman he loved was where he was most vulnerable with you.

“s-shit, sweetness, you’re such a pretty mess, so fucked up on my cock, can feel you clamping around me like my greedy bitch should.” you’re stuffed so full, clenching every time touya drives his cock deeper into your gummy cunt, head prodding at the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of you. he’s losing his mind at how you choke out his iron hot girth, clear liquid seeping down your thighs at every thrust. “you’re my beautiful brain dead baby, letting me fuck you like this, yeah? missed you baby, missed this,” despite his words, touya is no better than you, mind hazy with thoughts of you creaming around him because of how good he’s made you feel. him, and no one else. you saved yourself for him after all these months, the least he could do was bring you to cloud nine.

he does so by angling his thrusts up to meet your pleasure spot every time, howling your name in the way he knows you like just to feel your hot cunny spew more of your juices out against his tummy. “missed you, thought about this for months,” you lament, elbows that kept you up finally giving out as your body tiredly collapses into the sheets— dabi’s balls still clapping against your ass. he follows you down into bed covers, chest pressing hotly against your back as the jackhammers into you from behind. “thought about your fat cock in my tight pussy, t-touched myself to you...made being alone worth it, made waiting for you to come home worth it. ‘cause i get to see your beautiful face when you fuck me…” you barely register what you’re saying, babbling incorrectly while the temperature of your body rises with your level of arousal.

behind you, touya’s cheeks burn with a new feeling. deep down, all he wanted was to be validated as a lover to you, he’d always been deemed as the bad guy incapable of feeling anything for anyone other than himself. but you, you had proved him wrong so many times and he still found your words hard to believe. yet, it felt good to know how much you loved him. snaking a hand down to your face, the villain squishes your cheeks together and brings you up to his own face despite the arch to your back— he keeps up his sinful pace, your lower cheeks bouncing with every push and pull of his length while he drips a globule of his saliva into your pouting mouth. “shut up,” he grunts harshly, although love is written across his cobalt eyes.

you smile up at him dopily, keeping eye contact with him as you swallow gratefully. “anything for you,” his hands slip from your squashed cheeks to your throat, cupping it as he holds you against him. more arousal pools in your lower stomach, turned on by the thrill of him being able to end your life right then and there, all it would take would be one flame but you know more than anything that dabi loves you and would never hurt you. “i love you, touya todoroki. i a-always will.”

your admission makes dabi’s heart stop in his chest, heated pants tickling your ear as he continues to take you and claim your body as his. with newfound vigor, he links his free hand with yours that lays against the bed and rams his cock into your core as hard and as fast as he can, determined to make you cum. “i—oh fuck, i love you too, sweetness…” the arsonist can feel the way your cunt flutters around his girth at his confession, tears building up in your eyes once more. god, you were so pretty like this, arched for him perfectly in the moon, stars illuminating every curve and dip on your body— showing off the stretch marks from where you’d carried his child. everything about you turned him on in the best possible ways and everything about you that turned him on, also turned out to be everything he loved about you.

your stupid big heart, your stupid big eyes when you say that you love him, your stupid smile when he used to kiss you and hold you and even now when he fucked you. touya todoroki was in love and in the worst possible way but he couldn’t say he regretted a single moment of it, not when you stayed true to him after all these months of being apart. you raised his child and you loved him all the same and a part of him is grateful that you never turned your back on him like everyone else he’s ever loved.

so the least he could do is make love to you, push his creamy cock into the depth of your core while kissing down your spine to watch you shudder oh so cutely. it’s messy and sloppy and the pair of you should feel nasty for the stench of sex in the air, lingering against your skin. but you don’t, how could you? not when love and adoration tingles in the air as well, it’s messy because of the unadulterated emotions you feel for one another— deep in vulnerability is where dabi grinds his cock slowly into you, hitting all the right places that make you scream his name into the night. makes him mumble incoherent praises against your bruised neck and squished cheeks as he lewdly licks a stripe up the column of your neck to behind your ear.

you gush around him and he grunts with ecstasy into your ear, tightening that knot in your stomach as you both step closer to your highs. “you like the way i fill this cunt up, huh? yeah? when i hold you like this, when i fuck you like this?” dabi mutters to you lewdly, holding onto his sanity by a thin thread as his own release sneaks up on him. “tell me you like it...fuck sweetness, please.”

“i love the way you fuck me touya, fuck! only you can make me feel this good,” you moan to appease him, bouncing back against his cock while his hips begin to stutter and your eyes begin to cross. it’s true, you love belonging to him, being able to bring him such pleasure and you know he feels the same way. the villain prods at your g-spot over and over again, stealing your breath away as he pulls you up and into your chest, changing the angle of his hips to bring you to the last hurdle. “baby—ohmygod—-touya! ‘m sososo close, don’t stop...don’t stop, gonna cum, give it to me, give it to me please!” you chant, eyes fluttering shut as you lean your head back against his shoulder and search for his hand, voice rising with every octave as you get closer and closer.

“fucking cum for me sweet girl, shit, cum all over this fucking cock.” dabi manages through gritted teeth, grasping your hand while the pace of his thrusts grow inconsistent.

that’s all that you need to hear before the damn breaks and arousal floods through your entire body courses through your veins. white dances behind your eyes in flashes as your release flushes out of your pussy and drips between touya’s balls, coating them in a layer your honeyed slick. you slump against your boyfriend, not able to mutter a word as you convulse in a silent scream and squeeze both his hand and cock alike.

gently, he pushes you down to the bed and pulls his cock from your intoxicating heat— his free hand clasps around his cock, palming himself towards a swift release. “yeah, oh fuck yeah, fuckin’ love you baby,” he cums on your back and your ass, thick, potent and milky seed landing on your flushed skin before he collapses beside you and exhaustion settles in his bones.

you black out for a few minutes after, fingers still intertwined but dabi manages to slip out long enough to retrieve a washcloth that's damp and warm to clean you both up with. you wake up just as he crawls back into bed with you, kissing your hairline while he makes himself comfortable. “almost thought i’d killed you for a second,” the villain jokes, slinging a loose arm over your bare waist and pulling you to lay on his chest.

“you couldn’t, even if you tried.” you counter sleepily, drawing star shapes on your boyfriend’s naked stomach. a comfortable silence sweeps over the room, despite the thoughts that linger on your mind. looking up at dabi, you notice him drifting off but still can’t help the words that slip from your lips. “why didn’t you ever come back?”

you feel dabi’s chest rise and fall with a deep sigh, fingers coming up to scratch at your scalp— something that used to help you to sleep when you were together before. “i was figuring out a way to get out of the league, to be with you and kori.” he says after some time, catching your eye as you give him a confused look. “shigaraki doesn’t know about her, i never told him. but i knew from the moment we found out about her, i didn’t want her to be a part of the life i’m involved in and knowing how the league works, they’d find a way to make use of her.”

you stay quiet, not knowing what to do with the new information and dabi’s reasoning for staying away for so long. on one hand you were grateful to him for keeping your daughter quiet and safe but part of you still wished he’d given you a sign to let you know it’d all be okay. grabbing your chin, he forces you to look up at him—passionate flames burning in his eyes. “i need you to trust me on this one sweetness, i promise nothin’ will happen to you nor kori. so long as i’m around.”

“pinky promise?” you ask him sweetly, feeling the truth to his words.

you hold up your pinky to the villain’s face, smiling through exhaustion as he rolls his eyes down at you. “pinky promise, babydoll. now get some shut eye, kay?” touya links your pinky with his, scoffing when you make him kiss them.

“g’night, touya.”

“sleep well, babydoll.”

the bed is cold when you wake up the next morning.

the panic sets in quickly, speeding up with the chirping of birds from your balcony outside. you shouldn’t be tearing up over the childishness of a pinky promise. he always made you promises but never actually kept the and as quickly as dabi had waltzed back into your life, he had left you alone and in the cold once more.

gathering yourself together, you stumble out of your bed— avoiding any mirrors that may show the cascade of marks dabi had left against your skin from the previous night. you feel embarrassed and ashamed that you let him back into your life so easily, especially now that you had kori to think about. tears start to well in your tired and puffy eyes as you head to the kitchen, thinking that a mug of coffee will calm you down before you prep your daughter for the day.

but as you wander out of your room, the familiar sound of your baby girl’s laugher drifts through the air— seemingly coming from the kitchen. the sweet melody calls out to you and suddenly your casual stride to the kitchen becomes a brisk walk so you can reach her faster. “kori? baby? did you climb out of your crib again—?” you call out to her, stopping in your tracks when you round the corner.

dabi stands in the middle of your kitchen, still shirtless, with kori balanced on his hip— in one hand he holds a small blue flame, which you’re sure he believes is safe enough for kori to play with while the other steadies your baby girl while she claps and squeals. a first. you’re not too sure when the last time you’d seen her happy was, but you figure her father’s presence had something to do with it.

“i was going to make you breakfast, but the little shit woke up and i didn’t have enough free hands to make you a grilled cheese.” touya smirks over at you, diminishing his flame to grasp kori’s hand and use it to wave at you. she squeals happily, curls bouncing and eyes lighting up in a similar way to her father’s. your heart melts at the sight of them being together, seeing the mannerisms that they share and how joyous they seem. they both grinned the same way, shared the little twitch in their noses and even their sneezes. kori todoroki was an exact replica of touya todoroki, right down to the tiny red curl she had lost in her white locks.

“you know, i thought you’d left,” you make your way across to the island where dabi sets his daughter down and check her temperature— just in case her sudden change in mood is down to any sickness. “the bed was cold when i woke up.”

“didn’t i make you a promise last night, sweetness? i’m not going anywhere,” the arsonist reminds you, wrapping his arms around you from behind while you wipe at kori’s pudgy baby cheeks and give her the once over again. “if you’re checking the kid’s temperature, she's usually pretty cold because of my mom’s quirk. something ice related will be coming through, but she must’ve inherited your strong constitution. guess she has a normal body temp when i’m around ‘cause it balances her out.” while dabi explains the inner workings of kori’s incoming quirk, she claps and babbles excitedly from her place on the island— making a game out of throwing her toys off of it. all of dabi’s logic makes sense and you seem a little more relieved knowing how to take care of her from here.

picking her up, along with her stray toys, you set your baby down by her playmat again and switch on some baby-safe cartoons while you fix yourself and dabi some coffee, kissing all over kori’s face beforehand. he had whined when you pulled away the first time to give your daughter some attention, it was almost comical how the big bad villain had pouted then. “i wonder if there’s anything of mine she inherited or if it’s all you and todoroki genetics.”

“well, her pretty smile certainly didn’t come from me, babydoll.” dabi muses with a light chuckle, arms trapping you against his chest once more as you continue to make you both some much needed caffeine. the coffee machine whirrs as you sway together in the early morning sunshine, warmth from the sun brushing against your skin and touya’s hair tickling your neck before he presses kisses over your fading love bites while kori’s annoying shows play in the background. everything feels complete and at peace. you feel like a real family. “i could get used to this, this life with you.”

you spin in dabi’s arms, cupping his cheeks and taking in his face for the millionth time in the last twelve hours. “then stay, or at least visit some more now that you’re back. you may not feel it, but kori and i need you. everything has always been better when you’ve been around touya… and i mean that. stay.” you stare at him with pleading eyes, standing on your tiptoes to stare him down and communicate just how much you needed him here with you both.

and for once in his life, touya todoroki feels the most loved he’s ever really felt. here in this shitty two bedroom apartment with his angelic little girl and his beautiful girlfriend during the winter season— touya knows this is right where he needs to be. “i’ll stay, for as long as you’ll fuckin’ have me.”

“forever, then?” you ask, eyes lowering to your boyfriend’s lips.

“forever it is, babydoll.” the villain nods, following your gaze before leaning down to capture your lips with a promise written into your sweet kiss.

extended ending

you thought that the best kind of weather was when the sun peeked out from behind the clouds but the air around you was still as cold as a december’s day. the breeze is enough to make your nose run just a little, but occasionally the warmth of the sun’s rays radiates across your skin like a warm blanket, balancing it out.

it was the kind of weather where people didn’t know how to dress, some wore mismatched shorts and jerseys whilst others were decked out in scarves up to their cheeks and sandals where their toes flopped out. it was the kind of weather that reminded you of dabi and kori, they were your warmth and your cold, they balanced each other out and made your family whole.

kori sits on your right hip as you push the car door closed and wave goodbye to an accomplice of your boyfriend’s— your driver for the evening. your little girl’s curls are combed back into two even pigtails, dark blue bows in each one while the red lock of her hair ( now, much longer ) curls against her forehead stubbornly. she looks so pretty, all fancied up a dress that dabi had chosen for her on this particular occasion, the lace irritated her only slightly but the decapitated endeavour plushie her father had gifted her served nicely as a distraction.

you bounce her once, cooing down at your baby before you look to the hospital in front of you— a look of determination in your eye. ever since the night touya had visited you and swore to stay, he’d kept his word to the best of his abilities. being a villain was still a major factor in your relationship, he came when he could stayed if his job permitted it— taking care of your daughter when your shifts were long and even going as far as to learn his and kori’s favourite recipes to cook on the nights where you couldn’t or you didn’t fancy take out.

in the last few weeks his visits had become slightly more scarce with shigaraki becoming more and more demanding, but touya’s plan to leave the league was slowly coming to fruition along with endeavour and the hero society which had both carved a life of struggle for the three of you.

your boyfriend being busy had given you more time to reconnect with the friends you had lost over the last year, meeting up with those from college, mina and tsuyu ( who’d simply thought you’d gone off the radar ) for kori’s first birthday. they absolutely loved her and your sweet girl loved all the attention she was getting. you even had the chance to reunite with your parents, who were more remorseful that you felt you couldn’t come to them for help than the fact that you’d gotten pregnant during college.

of course, they all asked who the father was and you simply told them that he had died ( which was half true ), using the excuse that you were embarrassed to be widowed and with a child at your young age.

shaking your head, you enter the hospital and recite the words that touya had made you practice the night before. you were here by endeavours orders and needed to see mrs.todoroki. your lover had used some sort of hack to put you on the list of visitors for his mother but one look at kori was all the guards and staff needed to let you through. a few nights prior to today, dabi had asked you to do one thing for him before it all went down, kissing your knuckles over some sushi take out.

so despite your nerves, you would go through with this for him, especially if it meant your family could be together. some guards escort yourself and kori to rei todoroki’s room, leaving you with a curt nod and slightly more polite wave to your daughter. the room itself is slightly bleak, a chair and some blue cushioned sofas positioned in an L-shape parallel to the blanketed bed. there’s a tv in the top left corner which and a set of draws underneath where a clear vase sits— containing blooming blue flowers.

rei looks up when you enter, grey eyes flashing with confusion despite the blank look on her face as kori babbles happily in your arms. “who are you?” she whispers, hands retreating from her flowers and folding neatly in her lap.

“oh! i’m yn, your son’s fiancé and this,” you beam kindly, further entering the room and being sure to lock the doors behind you. you nod your head down to your daughter who waves around her endeavour plushy— paying no mind to the situation unfolding. “this is our daughter, your granddaughter...kori todoroki! she’s just turned one and daddy thought it was about time she met you, isn’t that right pretty girl?”

“dada!!!”

rei blinks and you smile again. “she’s a daddy’s girl,” you explain and lift your hand to snow the small sapphire engagement ring on your ring finger. touya had proposed last night as well, certain your plan would work out. “and quite frankly, so am i! how can i not be when your son treats me so well.”

nodding slowly, the wife of endeavour looks down at her hands which you note, nervously fiddle with a stray petal. “so, natsu and you—?” you can see her trying to work it out, curiosity written across her features. you could see why the woman might think kori was natuso’s child— they looked a lot like each other just by first glance but rei was missing an important feature. the colour of kori’s eyes.

“oh no, your other son. the eldest one.” you correct her with a sinister shake of your head. swiftly crossing the room to set your daughter down in rei’s lap. you watch with an evil air of satisfaction as rei todoroki freezes with fear, as the mistakes her family paid out to touya suddenly come to the forefront of her mind. she wobbles with kori still in her grip and you shoot her a dark glare— reaching over to fix her flowers in their vase. “touya picked these out, always said that you loved them. such a pretty shade of blue, no wonder why they’re your favourites, right?”

“please leave.” she looks up at you pleadingly, shaking like a leaf in the breeze outside. oh how you wish your fiancé was here to see this but he had more important things to do.

rolling your eyes, you grab the remote to switch on the tv— pinching kori’s nose affectionately to make her laugh again. “come sit with me rei, let’s watch some tv to help you calm down.”

the woman nods weakly, barely moving an inch as you take a seat beside her with a smile. you skip channels a few times, pride swelling up in your chest when you finally land on the right one, touya’s broadcast flashing across the screen. he sits leisurely in a chair, shirtless with all of his beautiful scars on display— a painful reminder of his childhood and what he’d become. “i, touya todoroki, was born as the eldest son of endeavour. today i’ve killed over 30 innocent people until now, some to protect my family. my daughter, who i have not been able to see due to my father. i would like to let everyone know why i’d end up committing such a hideous act.” he speaks such calmness and clarity, and you can’t help but feel emotional at how he stands in front of the world.

kori grins, leaping up at the sight of her father on the screen and claps her hands. “dada!! dada!! lookie s’daddy!!” she squeals while rei struggles to breathe, panic set in her eyes.

you put a hand on the woman’s shoulder, offering her a sweet grin in an attempt to calm her before the oncoming storm. “keep watching, mrs.todoroki, touya said we’d be one big, happy family after this.” the words are sugar coated and sickly sweet, carrying the dark meaning across to your fiancé’s mother.

looking away, your heart swells while touya tears down the hero society and spills the truth for all of japan to see. you were grateful to the man he’d become— loyal to you, to your daughter and the dreams that you had. the satisfaction of seeing the real villains of the world fall was much greater than any hush money enji todoroki could ever offer.

fin.

— TAGLIST:

@husband-to-tomura-shigaraki @grace-todoroki @toshiuwu @whet-ones-write

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miintsprigz · 3 years ago

Text

Bullet Through The Heart

(Nick Valentine x Sole!Reader)

Hey, decided to try my hand at a Valentine x Reader ship fic because I’m hyperfixating on him and he doesn’t have a lot of fics. Feel free to tell me how I did and let me know if there’s anything you’d wanna see.

SFW

TW: gun violence, blood, discussion of death.

The silence of the desert greeted you as you woke up. Sun warmed your face from a nearby window.

How’d I get here again?

You and Valentine had stumbled upon another abandoned complex, and from what you could see of it walking along the balcony with him, the place seemed teeming with equipment, still in great shape, not a soul in sight. Nick pointed out that you were running low on supplies, and seemed confident that it would be an easy refill. You’d worked with him nearly a year, so you trusted him. The two of you dropped down and started gathering the stuff, all while messing around as you two often did.

And then a loud bang interrupted you. Immediately, a burning pain throbbed in your side. You’d been trapped…and shot. The pain blinded you.

His arm wrapped around your back and clutched you under your arms. You insisted you could walk. Another bullet struck your leg, as if they heard you. You gritted your teeth and whimpered in pain, only spared from sinking to the ground by Nick scooping you up.

If any bullets hit him, he made no indication. Nick had always joked he wasn’t built for speed, but apparently he could manage.

In no time, found yourself laid out across a table in an abandoned building.

Your vision got blurrier by the moment.

“We gotta get that lead outta you. This isn’t gonna be fun…I don’t think I have any more stimpacks.”

“Nick, I can-“

“Nope, you’re in no condition to play doctor.”

“But-“

“Here. Hold tight as you want.”

He offered you his good hand and quickly fished around in a kit, cutting away the fabric from the area around the injury.

Thankfully they didn’t go that deep.

You couldn’t help but scream, it hurt so much. Nick’s thumb stroked the back of your hand as he worked, and you noticed how hard his jaw was set. He grimaced, almost looking on the verge of tears…if synths could cry.

He got one out, then went for the other.

Trying your best to stay quiet, you practically clung to his arm, crying in pain.

“Nick, this…this really hurts…”

“I know, doll…I know.”

That was what he always called you, but right now it sounded different. You started to notice you couldn’t keep track of what he was doing anymore. It was taking every ounce of strength you had to stay awake.

The detective, keen-eyed as ever, noticed this. He managed to take out the second bullet, then looked at you, before the pain robbed you of your sight again.

“Kid? You okay?”

“I’m…”

You hated how your hearing always cut out last. All you heard before blacking out was:

“Kid?…Kid!!! Say something…please…!!!”

Then, nothing.

You now found yourself on a bed, instead of the table you’d been frantically thrown onto.

You still felt weak, and the wounds in your side and leg still throbbed as soon as you even thought about sitting up, but you were alive and awake. Valentine’s coat had been thrown over you, and you quickly noticed half a dozen bullet holes fraying the fabric.

The soft crackle of burning paper caught your attention nearby. He was on the other side of the room finishing a cigarette, a few faint wisps of smoke seeping through the holes in his face. You heard him take a deep, slow breath…sounded really tired.

You tried to stand up, and he heard you.

“Sorry, Nick; I—“

Anything you had planned to say vanished from your mind. Nick had run over and wrapped his arms around you, holding you up.

“Nick?”

“Oh thank God. Don’t you scare me like that, kid.”

“Wha—I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gone down there.”

“No no, that was my bright idea, you got nothin’ to apologize for.”

His head sort of rested over your shoulder, strangely heavy.

“…you okay, partner?”

“Yeah…I’m alright, Nick.”

“I said I thought we could handle it.…must be going dull.“

“You couldn’t have known. And hey, you think I haven’t been shot before? I could take—“

“You coulda died!”

“I hate to break it to ya, but that happens a lot arou—“

“It was bad enough with Jenny—“

You felt the color drain from your face. No wonder he had gotten so upset just now.

“…oh…oh, Nick…”

It took a moment for Nick’s brain to catch up with his mouth, but once it did, he sighed shakily, sitting down on the bed next to you with his head in his hands.

You took a seat beside him, looking right at him. The implications of that statement weren’t lost on you.

“Nick…what—“

“…guess I’ve grown a little too fond of you, doll.”

You both knew your banter verged heavily on flirting, but that was all you’d thought it was to him. For you, well, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t wish it was real, but…he’d told you about Jenny.

You’d figured if he ever healed from that, and coincidentally happened to take an interest in you…well, you could bide your time. But you never thought it would actually happen.

You sat in the silence for a moment. He looked up at you. You’d never seen him look so…sad.

“I know…you’re human, I’m not. They say this stuff’s just like gravity sometimes…and lemme tell you, you’ve got some gravity.”

“I could say the same…”

“No kidding?”

“Nope.”

Nick laughed, and the sound was worn down and weathered. You somehow weren’t scared to come out with it, perhaps you were too tired for anxiety.

“It’s a shame you had to get shot for me to spit it out.”

“I’ll walk it off. I mean, remember that time a few months ago, we thought I was gonna walk with a limp forever?”

“Heh, yeah. Sorry for my outburst. It’s just that…seeing you, with those bullets in ya…I just thought, ‘I can’t lose this one.‘“

He laughed again, but you could see through it as a last-ditch effort to keep it casual. His voice faintly shook.

“I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone again, with the memories of Jenny. You broke through all of that…but every time you get hurt, I remember…I’m inorganic. You’re not.”

You couldn’t stand hearing this. Within a moment, you’d pulled him close, nearly knocking both of you backwards onto the bed. With your head against his chest, you could feel a tinny sort of buzzing in the metal—he really was upset. You’d had a feeling for awhile that he’d kept something under wraps, but you never would have guessed this.

“You think I don’t know that? I wouldn’t travel with you if I didn’t think it was worth it. I could get by with plenty of people, but I wanna do it with you. You’re kinder than almost any flesh-and-blood people I’ve met. I…I love you, Nick.”

He went eerily still when you said that.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. However long I’m around, I don’t wanna go anywhere if it isn’t with my Valentine by my side.”

Nick had gone dead silent.

“…you okay?”

“Just fine.”

His voice was oddly weak.

As you pulled back to look up at him, you caught a glimpse of something leaking from one eye. With the deeply touched look on his face, it really did look as though he was crying.

“Nick, you’re leaking!”

“…whoops. This doesn’t happen often. I don’t have tear ducts, but sometimes this happens instead.”

He chuckled and quickly wiped that away.

“Don’t wanna start cryin’ on ya.”

You teased him, trying not to get worked up yourself.

“Going soft now?”

“Maybe…hey, did ya really mean that, just now?”

“Wouldn’t have said it otherwise.”

Nick drew you in again, quickly giving you a peck on the forehead. It tickled a bit, and you laughed softly. Despite his best efforts, the “tears” from his eyes kept falling.

“Wow.”

“Hey, don’t cry, Val.”

“Could ya say it again?”

You looked up at him, smiling, your own throat tight.

“I love you, Nick.”

“I never thought I’d hear those words again…or say ‘em myself and mean it. But I really do love you too, doll.”

You leaned up to peck him on the cheek, which was met with loud whirring from his internal mechanisms again, leaving both of you trying not to crack up.

“Hey, Nick? Could we just…stay here for a bit?”

“Sure, sure. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to my old self in a minute.”

“Oh, I don’t mind that. Just as long as it’s cuz you’re happy.”

“I am. More than I have been in a while. And whaddaya know? Things just started looking up.”

The two of you leaned back on the bed and just held each other close. He felt cold to the touch, but to finally be able to be close to him and just…be. That was worth the two bullets it took to get you here.

#nick valentine #nick valentine x reader #fallout #fallout 4 #canon x reader #nick valentine x sole survivor #ship fanfic #mint writes

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clubatsumu · 3 years ago

Note

i got my heart broken lately and ive been thinking about how the word /heartbreak/ does the experience no justice. no justice at all. it’s like this all encompassing form of a constant ache

For Ushijima Wakatoshi, loneliness manifests itself in physical ailments.

He is weaving bereavement into his daily routine; it comes in the most unobtrusive amount, barely trickling water off the bathroom faucet. The way he packs his lunch is a mournful affair, clinically detached in its efficiency. The way he clutches his chopsticks and measures his rice leaves no room for extra movement. Too big hands and too small things, wrapped in a sorrow that hangs over his form.

Sprinkled in between: A headache. A strain of a jaw clenched too tight. Pressure at the back of his neck.

Still not enough to cause alarm. Still — as it always is — unobtrusive.

It says, tap, tap, tap, before washing away down the drain.

You dream about knee protectors and rug burns, the stinging ache of a volleyball being slapped by the middle of the palm, stadium lights, meals spent alone, a television program playing in another room, Iwaizumi Hajime – you don’t know who he is, only his name and the unmistakable red circle of the flag on his chest – talking about meal plans. In the middle of it all: the empty swell of chest with something missing, aching and tugging and consuming a person whole, but still so very contained to one corner it suffocates itself, folding in like a collapsing star.

The dream stretches, warps, making a minute and an hour indistinguishable from each other.

Sometime later – or maybe in no time at all – when the pain becomes too deep, a sob rips from your chest, waking you up.

How very typical, you scoff, waking up and feeling one the verge of tears, here amidst the sprawling vineyards of a secluded Italian village where the vision of Wakatoshi is haunting you and your mind is plaguing you with fictionalized versions of his pain being written a world away.

How very typical that Toshi is still this way, you think even though it can’t be true — he can’t be hurting more than you are. Your hair is a tangled nest, and on your neck is a sheen of sweat. Your ear hurts from where it folded in your sleep, soldiering the strait between your pillow and your head. Wakatoshi, you know, is too single-minded to care.

Ushijima becomes reticent after he has won the biggest achievement of his career. He is hailed as Japan’s canon after he finishes his first Olympic games, but what he is is a scared man barely halfway through twenty.

The psychiatrist says there is nothing wrong with him. It’s a diagnosis consisting of scattered symptoms that are incohesive. He admits to having trouble sleeping, so he gets a prescription for sleeping pills. He admits to feeling an ache in his chest sometimes, nothing big, just a slight squeeze every once in a while. The results of the echocardiogram come back normal. There are too many voices. Dominant among them is his mother’s, next is his grandmother’s, then -- there among the sea of drifting sirens in a pitch black lake -- is his own.

When all roads are blocked, and there is no diagnosis to come to, the doctor finally recommends he see a therapist and gives him the address on a slip of torn paper.

“Something…” he starts, knowing he has not the affinity with words everyone wants him to have, knowing he cannot say what he means, knowing he never has. “Something is wrong. Missing.”

The doctor gives him a look of sympathy. It’s the first sign of emotion in the hour he’s been sitting in her office, and it is revealing that she thinks of him as some sort of broken object. “Hmm,” she hums in agreement – she can hardly do anything else, he thinks – eyes flitting to the pad of paper. “You already know what it is. Or have an idea.”

It’s not a question.

If someone asked Wakatoshi about the duality of the human condition, he’d tell them that it’s true — that there indeed exists a better half. It’s true because he is like that: he is himself, and you are yourself, and there is a cleaved ether on his left side matching the one on your right. With you leaving, all he has is the company of the more unfortunate piece.

Wakatoshi takes a beat to answer, words clotting in their pathway.

There is a wedding band hidden in the third drawer of his desk, untouched and as good as new, worn for less than a year before it was stashed away. Much like your marriage, it is put aside — not necessarily discarded, no, simply… put on hold.

Ushijima likes to think it’s put on hold. He doesn’t know what you think of it; if you still wear yours or if you already threw it away. It’s easy enough to divorce, he knows all too well. It’s easy enough to find someone better. It’s easy enough — moving forward, moving on, forgetting. Moving is easy, motion is inevitable.

What’s hard is staying at an impasse, waiting for something to happen when nothing will. Water cannot be still: the human condition cannot remain unmoving. What’s hard is this. The ring, sitting untouched, unworn. The marriage ripped at the seams with only a few choice threads keeping two fabrics from completely tearing. What’s hard is maintaining equilibrium while the world is falling apart.

He’ll find out soon — your opinion on the ring — whether he wants to or not. He slips the band in his gym bag before he leaves the house that morning, then slips it into his finger after conditioning that afternoon.

It fits.

Much like you did, some lifetime ago. When you were sixteen on a schoolyard, eighteen on the cool stain of the bleachers, twenty in the corner of a living room party. Twenty-one in the departure lounge.

“Leaving early?” Hoshiumi asks, towel on his shoulder and about to head to the showers. “The managers said they’re taking us out to dinner.”

“Hmm.” He packs his bag, mind listless, not really on anything he can see. “I need to fetch someone at the airport.”

Hoshiumi is well-meaning, but he is as abrasive as an untrained dog without a leash. “Who’s it? Anyone I know?”

“No.” Wakatoshi swallows, pries the word from the roof of his mouth and the bottom of his chest, wondering all the while if it’s still true. “It’s my wife.”

You arrive in Sendai with a single suitcase, large to an obscene degree, its handle outstretched and your hand guiding it as it’s dragged through the airport upright.

The white-gold metal band makes a sound as your fingers shift to grip the handle.

tbc

#ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ill ride the coattail of this prompt n just state that this story is currently a 9k draft in my docs #the feeling is shit isnt it #just all around #fic: lighthouse

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kywaslost · 4 years ago

Text

Comforting Student Reader ft. Aizawa and Present Mic

Warnings: crying, bad times, death, mourning

Requests are open!!

Although no one knows it, he always keeps an eye on his students. He can almost always tell when someone is upset.

He noticed how your actions changed. You were always quiet and reserved, daydreaming from time to time. You would always turn your work in, getting mostly A’s with a few B’s. So when you started failing the class with F’s and D’s, Aizawa knew something was wrong. He also noticed how everyday you would space out even more than you did before. He noticed the way you acted, slow and solum. He saw how sleep deprived you were. You had missing assignments and late work, unfinished tests and work.

Aizawa confronted you one day after class.

“L/N, stay after class please.” You nodded, taking in a shaky sigh. This day cannot get any worse, you thought. The bell rang and you packed up, walking slowly to Mr. Aizawa.

“Yes, sir?” you asked quietly, giving a fake smile. He sat on his desk, looking over you. Your uniform looked as if you had just thrown it on. Aizawa brought his eyes up to yours. He could see how dull the had become.

“L/N, what is going on?” Aizawa asked. You gave him a confused look.

“What are you talking about?” you questioned, although you knew exactly what he meant. Aizawa gave you a soft look.

“I think you know exactly what I mean,” he started.

You looked around nervously, avoiding his gaze. “I, I… I don’t know what you mean.” Aizawa stared at you for a moment, analyzing your body composition.

“Your grades have dropped drastically, you’ve started falling asleep in class,” he listed off. You looked away, ashamed. “Y/N,” he said, resting a hand on your shoulder. You looked up, surprised by both his hand and the use of your first name. “What’s going on?”

Tears welled up in your eyes. “Can you close the door?” you asked quietly. Aizawa’s face softened.

“Of course.” He closed the door and came back to you. He pulled two chairs to face each other and he sat down in one. When he saw that you hadn’t moved he motioned for you to sit and you did as asked. The two of you sat in silence for a while before you bury your face in your hands.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, silent tears falling down your face.

“It’s ok,” Aizawa said softly. “Take your time.”

Silence.

You lifted your head and Aizawa’s heart broke slightly. Although he would never admit it, Aizawa would die for his students and seeing them cry made him feel bad. He saw the tear tracks on your face and leaned forward.

“Y/N,” he said quietly. You looked at him. “You know you can trust me, right?” You nodded, sitting up.

“Yeah,” you answered and wiped the tears from your face. Once you compose yourself you decided to speak. “I’ve just been having a really hard time lately. I’m sorry,” you apologized again, tearing up.

“It’s alright,” Aizawa assured. “Can you tell me why?” You nodded.

“It’s just…” you took a deep breath, “My dad… he, he’s a pro hero and a villain hurt him pretty bad. He’s, he’s my only family left and the doctors said that they’ve done all they could.

Aizawa’s eyes softened as he stood, pulling you up with him. He pulled you into a hug, holding you tight. This caused you to burst into tears. Aizawa pulled you closer as you sobbed, clutching his shirt in fists. He used on hand to hold your head against him and his other to rub up and down your back in hopes to help calm you down.

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed.

“Shh, it’s alright,” Aizawa soothed, resting his chin on your head. He stayed with you until you had calmed down. When you finally pulled away you discovered how tired you really were. Aizawa saw it as well; the way you swayed slightly on your feet, the way your head bobbed down and how it took a lot of energy for you to keep your eyes open.

“Are you tired?” he asked with a small smile. You shook your head.

“No,” you slurred, rubbing your eyes and fixing your posture. Picking up your bag, you got ready to leave. “I need to get to my next class. I’m already late.” As you started to walk towards the door Aizawa caught your shoulder. You turned to face him and saw the look in his eyes.

“Yes you are, I can tell,” he said, stopping you. “I can tell you haven’t been sleeping for several days.” He smiled, “you’re beginning to look like me.” You smiled slightly as well. “Come with me.” You followed him to a room connected to the classroom, his office. You looked around to see a cot against one of the walls.

“Rest here,” Aizawa instructed. You cocked your head.

“What about class?” you asked.

“Who do you have?”

“Mr. Hizashi,” you answered, yawning.

“Alright,” Aizawa smiled. “I will let him know that you are with me. Now, rest. You really need it.” He ruffled your hair as you nodded. He turned to leave the room before you stopped him.

“Mr. Aizawa?” you spoke. He turned towards you and smiled softly.

“Yes?”

“Thank you,” you said, smiling slightly as well. “For everything.”

“You’re welcome,” he responded. “But, hey, don’t tell anyone about this. I can’t go around with people thinking I’m soft.” You giggled.

“Ok.” You laid down on the cot, suddenly feeling extremely tired. Aizawa watched you fall asleep and smiled, knowing that you’d be ok in the long run.

Since Hizashi has such an outgoing personality, he always tries to make sure his class is awake and happy. He tries to make school exciting for his students and fellow coworkers. He always enjoyed how you smiled and laughed at his jokes. He even enjoyed when you would sing along quietly to the ear-blasting music he played sometimes during class.

What happened that day was hard on the both of you. On your way to school a villian decided to attack in your area. Because you live on the outside of the city, the big heros were not around. You watched helplessly as the villian with a fire quirk snatched your brother, taking him. You screamed running forward. Pro heroes fought against the villain as you ran forward to fight back.

“L/N!” Present Mic yelled but that did nothing to stop you. “Stop!”

You continued moving forward as Hizashi grabbed you by the waist and pulled back.

“No!” you sobbed, suddenly aware of what was going on. Hizashi’s grip tightened as he pulled you away from the scene.

“Shh,” he shushed, trying to calm you down. He dragged you into an alleyway. You continued to scream and cry, fighting against Present Mic.

“(Brother’s name)!” you shrieked. You tried to use your water quirk to escape but red eyes stopped you.

“Y/N,” Aizawa called, running up to the two of you. He kneeled down in front of you. “You need to calm down. You’ll hurt Mic if you keep it up. Calm down, ok?”

Something in his voice calmed you and you quit struggling. He smiled softly and patted your head, blinking. He stood and ran off. “Stay with her Hizashi. We’ll be ok.”

You fell limp and both you and Hizashi fell to the ground. You grabbed his arms and sobbed harder with each scream you heard.

“Shh,” Mic soothed again. He pulled a pair of headphones from his bag and plugged them into his phone. Pulling up Youtube Music, he typed in (favorite artist) and placed the headphones over your head. Hizashi picked a playlist, rocking the two of you back and forth. After several songs you finally calmed down, breathing heavily.

“You are alright,” Present Mic whispered, very unlike him. “Would you like to go home?” He realized you couldn’t hear him.

“How is she?” Aizawa asked, running back over to the two. He saw Hizashi’s headphones around your head.

“Much calmer,” Present Mic answered. “But I don’t think taking her home would be the best option.” Aizawa nodded.

“She certainly is not in the right state of mind to go to class.”

“I can keep her in my classroom,” Hizashi offered. Aizawa nodded. “That way she isn’t alone or have to go to class.” He picked you up and you didn’t bat an eye. You lay limp and silent the whole way to UA. When the three of you arrived to Mic’s class, Aizawa and Hizashi noticed that your eyes were closed.

“F/N?” Aizawa said, tapping your foot. Your eyes snapped open and you shot forward. Hizashi nearly dropped you as you landed on your feet.

“Wow, it’s alright hot shot,” Hizashi said as he placed his hand on your back. You pulled the headphones down to hang around your neck, looking up to your two teachers.

“You’re going to stay with Present Mic today, alright?” Aizawa explained.

“What about class?” you whispered.

“Y/N,” Hizashi started, catching your attention. “We just think it’ll be better if you stay with me.” You thought about it for a moment before nodding. Aizawa left for his class. Your puffy red eyes met Mic’s and he smiled softly.

“You can sit over there,” he said, motioning to a desk in the front row. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to you. “Just relax, ok?” You took his phone and nodded, heading to the desk and laying your head down.

Hizashi kept an eye on you for the rest of the day. He even stayed quiet during his classes just in case you had fallen asleep. When someone tried to bother you, he’d get defensive and tell them to leave you be. He even brought you lunch, figuring you wouldn’t eat unless he sat down with you and ate. He kept a good eye on you for several months and talked with you to make sure you were ok. Let’s just say that you appreciate what your teacher has done for you.

#bnha #bnha fluff #bnha comfort #bnha hurt/comfort #bnha x you #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #aizawa fluff #bnha aizawa #shouta aizawa #aizawa #present mic

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dumdumsun · 2 years ago

Text

Break and Mend

A/N: Enjoy!

Warnings: No Doc, sedation, implications of abuse and racism (Billy towards Lucas), mentions of violence and death

Word Count: 4771

—————————————

Chapter Eleven: The Spy

There was silence. A deep, patient, unfazing, unknowing silence. Then, tires screeching, the opening and closing of vehicle doors, and Will Byers’s blood-curdling screams of agony.

“Get him out! Go! Go!”

“God! Hold on, sweetie!”

The screams soon turned into sobs as Will was being wheeled down the hallways of Hawkins Lab, Joyce running right beside him with Bob and Mike keeping up behind. Will clutched onto his arms and his eyes shut tight as he screamed into the ventilator mask.

“I’m right here. Just hold on.” Joyce tried to calmly reassure her son. Even when he had been brought into a room and transferred onto a bed, she was still calling out to him in her own sobs, Bob holding her back from lunging herself at him. The doctors moved in front of her to check on Will.

“Vitals?”

“Heart rate 220. Temperature’s 106.”

Amongst all the hands on the boy, one pair belonged to a nurse who leaned close to the boy to speak to him. “Will, where does it hurt?”

“All over.” He loudly groaned as another nurse used a pair of scissors to cut him free of his pajama shirt. By this point, Will had lost color in his skin with dark bags under his eyes.

“She says he feels like he’s burning,” Dr Owens told the nurses. “Check for burns.”

The shirt was ripped off of the boy to reveal his sweating, paled skin. His screams rose in volume and pitch and he writhed in the bed as the nurse checked his skin. There were no burn marks anywhere. “I don’t see anything. Where does it hurt the most, Will?”

“Everywhere!” He screeched, slamming his head back onto the pillow below him. “Everywhere!”

Joyce could do nothing but cry in Bob’s arms as a needle was injected into Will’s skin to sedate him.

-------------------------------------------------

Steve and Dustin hadn’t spoken a word to each for the past couple of minutes. They let the sound of Queen fill the car as they stared forward at the road. Steve had just received a quick rundown of Dustin’s latest situation with his pet, Dart. The Harrington boy was still trying his best to wrap his head around it all, but it seemed to still be too much. “Wait a sec. How big?”

Dustin used his thumb and index finger to indicate Dart’s initial size. “First it was like that,” Then he stretched his hands out wide. “Now, he’s like this.”

“I swear to god, man, it’s just some little lizard, okay?”

“It’s not a lizard.”

“How do you know?”

“How do I know if it’s not a lizard?”

“How do you know it’s not just a lizard?!”

“Because its face opened up and he ate my cat!”

Steve had been through enough a year ago for that statement to be anything but unordinary. It was fairly easy for him to believe Dustin, which was why he gave a shrug and a nod as he pulled into the Henderson driveway. The two got out and rounded the car to meet at the trunk. Opening his trunk, Steve’s eyes immediately fell on a wooden baseball bat spiked with nails hammered into it. The bat was originally Nancy’s, but Jonathan upgraded it in order to defend them against the Demogorgon.

Steve, who had been going to the Byers to speak with Jonathan, proved himself worthy of the weapon when effectively using it against the monster. He had kept it ever since, either as a token or just a weapon to have, he wasn’t sure why. He just knew it was right for him to have it.

Tossing his keys to Dustin, he reached it and picked up the bat, testing the weight of it in his hand before shutting his truck. He let Dustin lead him into the backyard and to his cellar that had been chained up at the handles. Steve slowly approached with Dustin now behind him as he flashed a light onto the door.

“I don’t hear shit.”

“He’s in there.”

Steve glanced at him before turning back to the cellar. He gave it a couple whacks with his bat to check if anything within the cellar would react. Annoyed, but mostly frightened, he sighed and turned back to Dustin, shining the light in his face. “Alright, listen, kid. I swear, if this is some sort of Halloween prank, you’re dead.”

“It’s not.” Dustin tried to look at Steve through the light in his face.

“Alright?”

“It’s not a prank. Get it out of my face.”

“You got a key for this thing?”

After Dustin had retrieved a key for the chains, Steve hauled the doors open, Dustin shining his light down the stairway leading further into the cellar. “Let me see that.” Steve took the flashlight from him and moved it around in search of Dart.

“He must be further down there,” Dustin slowly spoke out of nerves. “I’ll stay up here in case he tries to escape.”

Steve turned his head to look up at the boy in disbelief before sighing and turning forward again. Flashlight in one hand and spiked bat in the other, Steve slowly descended the stairs, Dustin cautiously watching from his spot a few steps away from the doors. When Steve had gone down far enough that he couldn’t see him, Dustin relied only on the sounds occurring. He heard the light click on, but nothing else. “Steve?” He called out, but received no answer, causing his nerves to worsen. “Steve, what’s going on down there?”

Suddenly, a light shone on him, the boy flinching in fear. Down below was Steve, staring up at him in urgency. “Get down here.”

Swallowing his heart back into his chest, Dustin made his way down the steps. At the bottom, Steve stood there with his bat in hand. Hanging off the bat was another one of Dart’s slimy molds, but this time, it was much, much bigger.

“Oh, shit.”

Steve then shone the flashlight to the wall across the room to show his other revelation.

“Oh, shit!”

The two walked over to it and crouched down in front of the massive hole in the wall, no doubt created by Dart. “No way,” Dustin whispered, his eyes following Steve’s light that revealed just a hint of how deep the hole was. “No way.”

-------------------------------------------------

“That thing, it… it did something to him.” Joyce explained to the many doctors surrounding the table they all sat at. She sat at the head of the table with Dr Owens sitting the closest to her. Out of all the doctors, he had been the only one looking at her with any shred of sympathy. Every other lab coat-adorned personnel looked at her in complete disinterest.

“Okay,” Dr Owens nodded. “And these now-memories, as you call them, how long has he been experiencing them?”

“I told you, since Thursday. Since I found him in the field.”

“And why wasn’t he brought in?” Another doctor asked, Joyce turning to him with her eyes wide and mouth agape.

“I have been bringing him in, and what have you done? Nothing. Nothing!”

Dr Owens raised his brows. “These are new symptoms, Joyce.”

“No. No, he has been telling you over and over that something’s wrong, and you said it was all in his head. You said, ‘Be patient’. Those were your words!”

“I understand that you’re upset, okay? I get it. I would be, too, if I were in your shoes. But we are all in the same boat here, and I just need you to try-”

“What, stay calm? Trust you? No, I want him transferred to a real hospital.”

“Well, you know that’s not possible.”

A different doctor spoke up, “He really will get the best treatment here, Mrs Byers.”

Then another added, “The very best.”

Joyce could’ve laughed at the utter nonsense she was hearing from these people, and her face expressed just as much. She shook her head at them and scoffed. “A-An- And what are you treating him for, exactly?”

None of them answered, prompting her to stand. “Can anyone tell me what’s wrong with him? Can a single person in this room tell me what’s wrong with my boy?!”

Everyone avoided her gaze, whether that be staring down at the table or exchanging looks with one another. None of them could answer her because none of them had a single idea. And this only angered Joyce even further, her hands slamming down on the table.

“What is wrong with my boy?!”

-------------------------------------------------

Within the Sinclair household, Erica laid on her bed holding one of her Barbie dolls in one hand and her older brother’s He-Man action figure in the other. She squeezed their plastic faces against each other while making kissing noises. “Oh, He-Man, thank you for saving my life. What strong muscles you have.”

Lucas barged into her room, not looking very happy at the sight of his sister playing with his toy. “I knew it.” He marched up to her and snatched it from her grasp.

“Hey! They’re in love!”

“No, actually, they’re not. They don’t even exist on the same planet.”

She raised a brow. “Aren’t you too old to be playing with toys?”

Lucas rolled his eyes before shaking his head. “That… That’s not the point. The point is to stay out of my room.” He seemed to have been repeating something he had told her many times before. With a sigh, he exited her room.

“Then tell your little nerdy friend to shut his mouth!” She called after him. A few seconds later, Lucas walked backwards until he was in her doorway again.

“What are you talking about?”

“‘Code red, Lucas. Code red. Code red’.”

His face dropped at the realization that Dustin might have been trying to get ahold of him for some dire reason.

“Bunch of nerds.” Erica reached behind her to grab another toy to take He-Man’s place. Shuddering, Lucas rushed to his room. He stopped in his own doorway to see his walkie laying on his bed.

“No, no, no, no, no, no.” He mumbled and hurriedly ran to his bed, picking up the walkie. His heart sank when he saw it was turned off, meaning this whole time, Dustin could have been trying to communicate with him without Lucas being able to hear. Turning the dials, he sat on his bed and held the walkie up to his mouth. “Dustin! This is Lucas. Do you copy? Dustin?”

“Well, well, well, look who it is.”

“Sorry, man. My stupid sister turned it off.”

“Well, when you were having sister problems, Dart grew again, he escaped, and I’m pretty sure he’s a baby Demogorgon.”

Lucas furrowed his brows and widened his eyes. “Wait. What?”

“I’ll explain later. Just meet me and Steve at the old junkyard.”

“Steve?” He rapidly blinked, mind racing at how the unlikely duo came to be.

“And bring your binoculars and wrist rocket.”

“Steve Harrington?”

“Alright, let’s go.” Steve’s voice could be heard in the background before Dustin replied to his friend.

“Just be there, stat. Over and out.”

-------------------------------------------------

Dr Owens walked into the room Hopper was being kept in. Said man was sitting on the edge of a bench, in a hospital gown. Neatly folded beside him were a pair of blue scrubs, a blanket and a pair of white shoes. Between his feet was a bucket that he was currently vomiting into.

Since Hopper had been in the Upside Down for an extensive amount of time, he was exposed to a very toxic atmosphere. In order to rid him of all the toxins, he was stripped of his clothes, hosed down, and then placed in quarantine with close eyes on him.

The same would have to be done with Joyce and Bob, as well. Though, they wouldn’t have to go into quarantine since they hadn’t been in the area as long as Hopper had.

“Alright, cowboy, good news,” Owens announced, walking further into the room to stand at his side. “We’re giving you the green light. How you feeling?”

Through his exhaustion and irritation, Hopper managed to turn to Owens and give him a big, obviously fake grin. “Never better.”

“Alright, well, got a present for ya.”

Another doctor appeared at his side holding a folded hazmat suit in his hands. Hopper took one look at the suit before turning away to rub at his nose. “The hell is that?”

“Uh, something you should see.”

Once he was changed, Hopper was led down several hallways and through several rooms until he entered a contained and observed area. He immediately recognized it once he saw the white particles swimming through the air. Owens and another doctor were standing on a metal platform of an elevator-like space. “Watch your step.” Owens warned. Hopper let out a sigh before stepping onto the platform, careful of the shaft for the elevator.

The three held onto the bars on the side as the elevator lowered deeply underground. Hopper wasn’t sure exactly what he was supposed to be looking at until the light above them turned on in an orange hue. Hopper couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

The gate that he had seen a year ago, the one he and Joyce had gone through to get Will, had grown tremendously. The thick substance that broke the connection between two worlds was transparent enough that red-orange light of the Upside Down could be seen through it. Hopper realized this was why the elevator shaft was at least dozens of feet underground. The gate had an entire year to grow without any disturbance forceful enough to stop it.

“All living organisms develop defense mechanisms against attack,” Owens informed. “They adapt. They find some way to survive.”

The elevator had reached the ground and the three stepped off. People in hazmat suits and stands that held lights littered the decayed area. “Oh, my god.”

Before Hopper were tunnels. Tunnels and tunnels and tunnels. They couldn’t have been made by humans, they were far too big, far too perfect in their structure. It was the work of an unearthly creature.

“It’s pretty impressive, isn’t it?” Dr Owens joined his side. “It’s been spreading, growing beneath us like some cancer.”

“Why aren’t you burning it?” Hopper watched as hazmat-suited people walked through the tunnels for examination.

“There’s a complication.”

Just above them, Will laid asleep in his bed, the heart monitor steadily beeping beside him. On the other side of him was Mike. The boy was reclined back in a chair, a blanket wrapped around his sleeping figure. Off to the side were Joyce and Bob. The two had been hosed down and changed into scrubs some time ago. They were now wrapped up in their own blankets and sipping coffee as Joyce finished explaining to Bob about what happened a year ago.

“They made me sign, like, a thousand documents. I mean… we… we- we all had to. We had to. I mean, I lost track at a certain point. They’re gonna make you do the same. I’m sure.”

Bob snapped his eyes away from Will, who he had been worriedly staring at, and to Joyce with a gentle look. “Yeah. Well, hey, whatever.” He gave a very small hint of a smile. Joyce stared at him, waiting for him to give a bigger reaction than that. “What kind of documents?”

“Uh, confidentiality, and there were these official forms saying, like, nothing ever happened, which is why…”

“Will got lost in the woods.” Bob looked back over at the boy, his heart reaching for him even more at the horrible circumstances he and his family were continuously put into.

“Yeah…”

“Man,” He shook his head and turned back to Joyce. “I always thought stuff like this happened in movies and comic books. Certainly not in Hawkins and certainly not to someone like you.”

“Or you.”

He smiled a bit wider this time. “Yeah… Bob Newby, superhero.” The two shared a chuckle before Joyce noticed that Bob’s fingers were shaking a bit as they held his coffee mug.

“You cold?”

“Uh, just jitters, I guess. Hey, don’t you start worrying about me.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? I’m fine. I’m fine,” He reassured, happy when she gave him a smile. “It’s not like you didn’t warn me. ‘This is not a normal family’. Isn’t that what you said?”

Joyce nodded, recalling the conversation they had Halloween night once they were alone. “Yeah.”

Bob chuckled. “You weren’t kidding… It kinda makes my idea of moving to Maine sound a little less crazy, right?”

“Oh, it… it’s not crazy at all.”

There was a moment of silence with the two of them warmly smiling at each other before a soft voice sounded.

“Mom?”

Gasping, they turned their heads to see Will awake. “Hey.” Joyce smiled as they set their mugs down. Bob quickly made his way out of the room and called out for a doctor as Joyce stood at her son’s side. “Sweetie, how you feeling? You okay?”

Bob entered the room just as Mike woke up from the commotion. “Okay, they’re on their way.” He stood next to Joyce and gave Will a smile. “Hey.”

Will, whose eyes seemed to have darkened since he woke up, stared at Bob with a dead look. “Who is that?”

“What?” Joyce tried a smile.

“It’s me, big guy. It’s Bob.” He reached a hand out, but Will immediately took his away, eyes widened just the slightest bit in alarm.

“Are you a… doctor?”

“No. No, it’s just me. Just… Just Bob.”

Will’s dead eyes stayed on his mother, who worriedly glanced at Bob, then Mike, then back to her son.

-------------------------------------------------

At the Hargrove-Mayfield home, rock music blasted from the living room where a dirty blonde-haired young man does barbell sets, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. At the sound of the doorbell, a sudden anger and irritation began swelling in his veins, so instead of counting in his head, he counted out loud. If Max didn’t get the door soon, Billy Hargrove would make sure she knew to get it next time.

Within her bedroom, Max was patching up her skateboard with duct tape, ignoring the sound of the doorbell. Though, it was a bit hard to hear it with her step-brother’s music sounding throughout the entire house. Still, she decided to ignore the second time it rang.

And the third.

And the fourth.

“Max, are you getting that or what?!”

“Okay!” She barked right back at him. With a huff, she threw down her skateboard and stood from her bed. When the doorbell rang a fifth time, Billy’s patience sounded as if it were hanging by a thread.

“Swear to god, Max!”

Max glared at Billy when she entered the living room, swerving out of the way of the barbell he was still lifting. She sped her way to the front door and flung it open, her eyes widening at the sight of Lucas. One of the last times she’d seen the boy, Billy had threatened her not to go near him, that she needed to avoid “people like him”. She had a pretty good feeling what he meant by that. And while she didn’t agree with him, that didn’t mean that she wasn’t scared for Lucas. Billy was dangerous and only a few feet away from him.

Making sure Billy didn’t see her, Max quickly stepped outside and closed the door behind her. “What are you doing here?”

“I have proof.”

“What?”

“Proof that what I told you was real. But we have to hurry.”

Max shook her head at him. Just the day before, he had lured her into the back room of the arcade. Despite her protests, she still sat down with him and listened to him explain all of the events that happened a year ago. With Will, with El, the Demogorgon. He even revealed Doc’s secret. She had shut him down, believing that it was a tall tale. But now, she was starting to think that his insistence was genuine.

“What kind of proof?”

From inside the house, Billy set the barbell back in place on the bench and sat up, taking his cigarette out of his mouth. Max had been outside too long for his liking, his twisted mind assuming the worst of her intentions. He slowly walked to the door and before he could open it, Max hurriedly walked in. She shut the door and turned around to face Billy, her eyes avoiding him immediately. Billy placed his hand against the wall, his arm blocking her way past him.

“Who were you talking to?”

There was a very long, very suspicious pause of Max trying to come up with a lie, which answered Billy already.

“Mormons.”

He blew out a cloud of smoke with a very small smile of amusement. “Mormons?”

“Talkative ones.”

She moved past him and quickly went to her room. Outside of her window was Lucas on his bike, somewhat patiently waiting for her. Seeing her open her window, he motioned her urgently. “Come on, hop on.”

Max climbed out and landed on the platform just below her, using that to push off and land on the ground. She climbed onto the back, sitting on the seat he left completely open for her. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she leaned around to get a better look at him.

“This better be good, stalker.”

And with that, Lucas took off towards the front of her house, narrowingly missing the prying eyes of Billy Hargrove.

-------------------------------------------------

Even through the blinding light shining in his eyes, Will’s stare still bore into Dr Owens. The man turned off his small flashlight and placed it into the pocket of his coat. Will was now surrounded by his mother, Mike, Bob, Hopper and a few other doctors.

“Do you know your name?” Owens asked.

“Will.”

“Your full name.”

He swallowed. “William Byers.”

Owens shifted in his seat. “Do you know… Do you know who I am?”

Will’s eyes close for a very brief moment as he tries to remember. “A doctor.”

He slowly nodded, the question not entirely answered at all. “Have we met before?”

“I don’t remember.”

Dr Owens hummed. “You don’t remember me? Okay. How about, uh… How about this guy here?” He pointed across the room to Mike. Will’s eyes slowly moved over to the boy who gave him a tiny wave and a smile just as small. “Know who that is?”

The amount of time Will took to stare at Mike, to think, was already alarming, but they all still decided to wait it out.

“It’s alright. Take your time.”

“That… my friend.” Another pause. “Mike.”

A proud and relieved smile snuck onto the Wheeler boy’s face as Hopper spoke up with the same expression on his face. “What about me, kid? You remember me?”

Will turned to him and shook his head, wiping that smile right off the Chief’s face.

“They tell me you helped save me last night. You remember that?”

Another head shake.

“Do you remember anything about last night?” Dr Owens got the boy’s attention. “About what happened?”

Will swallowed once again. “I remember they hurt me.” He scowled at the memory, his mother not even being able to look at him at the thought of what he went through.

“You mean the doctors?” Owens continued.

“No. The soldiers.”

“The soldiers hurt you?”

His eyes darkened. “They shouldn’t have done that. “It upset him. Just like the girl did.”

Dr Owens frowned in confusion. “What girl?”

“Mike brought her. She upset him, so I tried to get rid of her.”

At this, Mike immediately straightened, turning his attention to Joyce. Her mouth opened and closed out of shock. The reasoning behind his sister’s sudden disappearance was becoming clearer and clearer. Will claiming to his trying to get rid of her sent him into an internal panic, but he remembered that Doc had left a note. Meaning she was still out there somewhere.

Dr Owens sat up straighter. “This girl… was it the one who went missing last year?”

Will widened his eyes suddenly. “No. The one who was supposed to protect.”

“Protect? Protect who?”

“Him.”

Owens retrieved a photo taken of Will’s drawing of the shadow monster and showed it to him. “You say, ‘Upset him’. Is that him?”

Will nodded.

“And the girl was supposed to protect him?”

“She was supposed to protect us all. We’re helping her and she’s supposed to help us.”

Heart racing, Mike stared at Will with wide eyes. Doc had mentioned that Will now saw her as some kind of threat, which worried him even more of what he had attempted to do to her. The situation was spiraling in terms of this unknown girl to the doctors. Since they had little to no evidence on who this girl could be, Dr Owens decided to focus on what they had at the moment. “Okay. Okay, I wanna try something. It’s gonna seem a little odd at first, but I think it’s really gonna help us understand what’s going on. Is that okay?”

Will tried to ignore the boiling anger he felt at the man touching his shoulder, but he still nodded in answer. “Okay.”

Within a few minutes, two of the doctors had exited and one returned, wheeling in a cart that has a sort of glass container, the top of it opened. Inside of it was one of the vine creatures, but this one was smaller, like it had been cut from its source.

“Now, Will, I want you to just let us know if you feel anything. Okay?” Owens asked, receiving a nod in answer. When the other doctor had been given the okay, he turned on the blowtorch. Just the sight of the flame had Will shifting in the bed. The torch was lowered into the container, closer to the creature. “Do you feel anything?”

“A-A little sting.”

“It stings? Where?”

The creature screeched the closer the flame got. At the same time, Will jolted forward, clutching the front of his gown in pain. “My chest.” He choked out. Just beside them, the heart monitor started to kick up. Joyce sweetly whispered to him as she rubbed his leg, Dr Owens giving the boy a gentle pat on the shoulder.

The other doctor looked at the boy before lowering the torch further, eliciting a groan from Will.

“How about now?”

“It… It burns.” The creature screeched louder as Will cried out. “It burns!”

“Where?”

“Everywhere!”

Despite his cries, the doctor moved the torch lower and lower, the creature in the glass desperately trying to move away. Dr Owens was showing no signs of stopping his assistant. Seeing this, Joyce began to panic. “That’s enough. That’s enough!”

The flame was significantly close now and Will let out a scream.

“Stop!” Hopper shouted, quickly rushing to Will’s side. “You heard her! That’s enough! That’s it! We’re done!”

The doctor quickly moved the torch away and turned it off. For a second, the only sound in the room was the slowing beep of the heart monitor and the decrescendo of Will’s heavy breathing. Once his heart rate was back to normal, Dr Owens had taken Hopper and Joyce into the hallway to discuss his conclusion.

“Our best guess right now is it’s some kind of virus which is causing this neurological disorder. Now, when… when a typical virus attaches itself to its host…”

Dart attaching himself with Will a year ago.

“...it duplicates, right? It spreads, essentially hijacking the host. A virus is alive. It has an intelligence.”

The shadow monster in Will’s episodes.

“That’s not… That’s not unusual,” Dr Owens takes a second to pause and think over his words. “What is so unusual here, this virus… the infected hosts seem to be communicating.”

Will’s seizure-like convulsion as soon as the vines were burned below.

“It has some sort of a hive intelligence, and it’s connecting all the hosts.

The monster, Dart, the vine, Will.

“The good news is a virus can be cured. We… We’re gonna continue to run tests. We’re gonna see what we find.”

Joyce, who had been sick to her stomach in terror at all of this information, tried her best not to break into sobs as she found the courage to speak up. “What happens when he can’t remember anything? W-When there’s nothing else there?”

Dr Owens stared down at the floor in shame, once again not having an answer for her. She took in a shuddering breath as she stepped forward.

“What happens when my boy is gone?”

—————————————

Taglist: @yurtletheturtlehenderson @crybabyalexxx @sapphicsyn @shydestinymoonalexa @nailbatbitch @that-one-multifandom-chick @ariyabella @lonelywitchv2 @bilesxbilinskixlahey @frogserotonin @mymomsdisappointment @hewwofriends @billieissad @get0ut0fmyr00m @daylightsana @kaz3yo @satsuri3su @sassygentlemenjellyfish @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived @unordinary-simp @raquel12 @roman0ffsheart @jjjennyxii

#stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #st #st fic #st x reader #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #will byers #eleven #jane ives #max mayfield #will byers x reader #lost and found #break and mend

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sugamamacustard · 4 years ago

Text

Let Me Help You (Part. 2)

Pairing: Alpha! Toru Oikawa x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Issei Matsukawa x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Takahiro Hanamaki x Omega! Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, Hurt/comfort.

Request: Oh boy, here we go!

Anon: hi!! can we get more of the omega depression drabbles/one shots? i would really like to see mattsun’s version and other characters you can think of!! the more angsty the better ;)p.s. luv your writing <3 also stay healthy, safe, and drink water !!

Anon: Can you make part 2 of let me help you please. if not it’s fine with Mattsun and Makki

Anon: Could you do part 2 for the let me help you with makki and mattsun please if not that’s fine this is also my first time requesting something so i’m kinda nervous💕

(Don’t be nervous at all, you did amazing!)

Anon: Mamas, can I order a continuation of let me help you?? Please?? I need some fluff after that hurt 💕💕💕🥺🥺🥺

(Mamas anon! :DDD)

Anon: omg i love the omega depression!! please continue with the rest of the third years or a pt 2 with oikawa’s !! i love your writing!!

@bohica160: Could we possibly get a part 2 with Oikawa please? 👉 👈 🥺

And I think that was all? You guys just really wanted this, and who am I to deny you?

Summary: Because of unseen circumstances, you drop, and you drop hard. How does your alpha help you/redeem himself?

Author’s Note: I kinda wanna post some self-indulgent OC stuff on here, but idk. It’s kinda crack-y and stupid. Also, we love to see a healthy relationship. Like Hanamaki’s and Matsukawa’s are so soft. Also, also, please note Hanamaki’s is heavily based off of my own experience with depression and the events after with my best friend, whom I will love and cherish forever.

Requests: Open!

Part 1: Here!

➵ You drop was actually out of anyone’s control.

➵ Omega drops rely heavily on hormone balances, much like depression, and it seemed like this month just wasn’t your month.

➵It was hard to exactly pin point when it got bad, or when you started experiencing symptoms, as they were slow and not necessarily noticeable.

➵A missed lunch here, a small scent shift there.

➵Small things that neither you nor Takahiro would notice.

➵It was much like a rollercoaster, inching higher and higher until the drop would come.

➵ Honestly, both of you thought you were fine, and since you were around both of your mutual friends (The Seijoh Team) enough no one could really point it out.

➵ It truly was a bad situation all around.

➵ You only really began noticing after a few days of ignoring lunch in a row.

➵ It hit you when you were sitting in the library, stomach clutching with hunger as you scanned through a textbook.

➵ You attempted to get up and go find Takahiro to go get something to eat, but you just...didn’t.

➵ You couldn’t find the energy to stand, much less walk, and just stayed seated

➵ You just couldn’t move.

➵Like a million bags of sand were tied to your hips weighing you to the chair.

➵ You swallowed tightly, rolling your shoulders before stuffing your text book into your bag, trying to breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.

➵Deep breaths. Thats what you needed to focus on right now.

➵ But then you couldn’t. You were hyperventilating, and white-knuckling the edge of the table as your vision turned blurry and watery.

➵ The cramping from your hunger combined with the sudden rush of emotions made you want to vomit.

➵ Before you could, you slung your backpack over your shoulder, bolting out of the library.

___

Laughter and chuckles were heavy as Takahiro gave a hearty chuckle at something Matsukawa said, shaking his head before taking a swig from his energy drink. His eyes darted to his phone every now and again, just checking to make sure you didn’t need him.

You would always come first to him.

When his screen lit up with your beaming face shining up at him, he quickly swiped to accept holding it to his ear, watching while the team laughed at Oikawa, who was shielding himself from Iwaizumi.

“Hiro?”

“Shooting star?” His brows furrowed as he slowly began cleaning his stuff, straightening himself up so he could leave as soon as possible if you needed him; which, guessing by your home, you did.

“I-I think something’s wrong.” You paused, making his heart drop. “I don’t know, but I think I need to go to the doctor, but, I know this is a lot so feel free to say no, can you-”

He didn’t let you finish. “Tell me where you are and I’ll come pick you up and drive you. Do you need me to call and book an appointment?”

A few of his packmates turned with worried eyes, trying to send a non-verbal question. Well, for most of them. Oikawa was trying to whisper-yell his questions, Iwaizumi trying to shut him up.

“I’m at the front of the school. I’ll just meet you at your car.”

“I’ll be right there, shooting star. Stay safe, okay? I love you, and I’ll see you soon Omega.” Takahiro waited for your reciprocation and own farewell before hanging up, quickly standing and swinging his leg over the bench and grabbing his bag.

“Makki-kun, is Y/N-chan okay?!” Oikawa screeched after him, actively crawling onto Iwaizumi, who looked like he was ready to commit first-degree murder.

Makki threw up a thumbs up behind him, waiting till he was out of the cafeteria before sprinting towards the parking lot.

He hoped, with every inch of his body, he didn’t lie to his captain.

___

“Take your pills.”

“Alpha, they taste horrid-”

“I don’t care, they make you feel better.”

Takahiro watched you carefully, handing you two of the teal and white pills. The alpha was strict on very few things with you, but your health he did not fuck with.

The appointment with your doctor went fine, with minimal blood work done, and you were sent off with a prescription for hormone balancing pills. You and Takahiro (Who was absolutely divine during the entire thing) were explained how the pills worked and why you dropped, all of which was simple enough to understand. Since then, Takahiro was insistent on you taking the pills in front of him.

“Open.” Takahiro demanded, watching as you stuck your tongue out. He moved your head by your chin, checking the very corners of your mouth. “Lift your tongue.”

You did so, showing nothing. He hummed in approval, letting go of your chin before pausing, pulling you close so you could hear his heartbeat.

“Thank you for caring, Hiro.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck and nuzzling into your alpha’s neck, taking in his scent.

“Thank you for telling me about this and letting me help you.” He responded, pressing a sweet peck to your temple and reminding himself you were still here in his arms. And would be with him for a long, long time.

➵ Your drop was a mix between miscommunication and little whispers in your ear.

➵ Honestly, there was a reason you were in a pack with minimal other omegas.

➵ They grew catty and mean and vindictive if there was something they didn’t like.

➵It was one of their many flaws and strengths.

➵You yourself had caught yourself bad-mouthing another omega to your alpha every now and again.

➵ Though you hated doing it, at some point it was just second nature.

➵ You and Issei had good communication though, and very rarely did something as silly as jealousy come between you two.

➵ whenever something was bothering you or your alpha you would talk it out.

➵ You both trusted each other completely.

➵ If something felt off about another person, you were quick to mention it to the other.

➵ However, sometimes things got complicated.

➵ Insecurities seeped through your walls that Issei kept strong for you.

➵And sometimes, small little whispers became hurdles and boulders pounding against your defenses and breaking them down.

➵Leaving you open and stumbling.

➵ And sometimes, because of this you forgot that you had back-up, an artillery that would fight for you at the drop of a hat.

➵ And those moments, that ones were you were caught with your tail between your legs and ass in the air waiting to be fucked over, were when you truly crumbled.

➵And though it broke you down and made you hurt, your artillery had your back.

___

“Issei, I was-”

You bit your tongue as you were roughly shoved to the side by Akina Harakashi, the omega throwing herself at your alpha. His face remained unmoved and his arms by his side.

She was his science partner for the semester, and though Issei reassured you she was nothing more, you couldn’t help but internally whine at how she acted with him. It was no secret that she liked him, but since you and Issei kept you relationship on the down low, rumors were bound to pop up.

And though you didn’t let it show, they poked and prodded at you. Make your skin crawl as you ventured deep into your own mindset. Thoughts that would plague your every move and drive your omega into overdrive as they tried fixing whatever you picked on in your own reflection.

You shivered as she looked up to Matsukawa, who was busy focusing on entering his locker combo.

“Mattsunnnn~ I’ve missed you!” Her voice was literal nails on a chalkboard to you.

“I saw you twenty minutes ago.” Matsukawa hissed as his locker popped open. “I haven’t seen you recently though, pretty thing.”

Your omega purred as Issei grabbed his textbook, closing his locker and pushing past Akina. He smirked down at you, intertwining your pinkies in the most discreet way possible before walking you to class.

You glossed over his question when he asked you how lunch went.

___

“Do you think Harakashi and Matsukawa are dating?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me, have you seen how she hangs off of him?”

“I think they’d make such a cute couple!”

“If Matsukawa doesn’t ask her out soon, he’ll loose her.”

You kept your head down and scent blocking collar tight as you slowly crept through the hallway, exit in front of you. Honestly, you didn’t have the energy to continue on with the day, so you were leaving it the midst of lunch, where you could loose yourself in the crowd and disappear.

You wanted nothing more than your alpha, but his last message had your eyes stinging.

‘Harakashi asked me to meet her at lunch, so I won’t be able to see you. Eat something. At this point, I’ll even take junk food. Just get some food. I’ll see you after school.’

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it did, but it stung you deeply. This was it. This was the downfall of your and your alpha’s relationship. You were blown off for Akina Harakashi at long last.

The rational part of you wanted to defend Matsukawa, but every time you tried, the insecurities that had been bubbling within you spit towards the rational part of you and your omega, throwing any redeeming thought into the corner to rot.

A part of you was angry. Angry with Matsukawa for letting this happen. Angry with yourself for not speaking up. Angry with your fucking stomach which groaned for food of any sort. Livid with Akina for trying to steal Mattsun.

Angry at the world.

You couldn’t really remember the last time you ate anything besides...air. The days all blurred together in one miserable run.

“What did I say?”

You glanced over at Matsukawa, heart leaping at the jump he gave you appearing out of nowhere, leaning on the wall beside you. You huffed, turning away from him and leaving him to follow after you. He did so, jogging a bit to catch up.

“You said I’d see you after school. This is not after school.” You snapped, growling at the alpha. He raised a brow, either in disbelief at your attitude or amusement.

“Omega. I said eat. This doesn’t look like eating.” His longer legs gave him the chance to cut in front of you, face now set in anger.

“You also said you had to meet with Harakashi. So scurry along to your new play thing.” You shoved past Matsukawa, trying to ignore the stinging in your eyes.

“What are you talking about?!” Issei smartened up, grabbing your wrist when you tried leaving him behind yet again, now visibly irritated. Truth be told, he was meeting up with Harakashi to put an end to her insistent clinginess. To put her in her place, beneath you.

She tried confessing to him before he even looked up, coming into the room with her arms outstretched already, yelling about ‘I knew you felt the same’ or something . He dodged her, sneering down at her and snapping at her to leave him alone or he’d go through the semester alone (Which he already talked to the teacher about, but she didn’t need to know about that).

Hanamaki had been his eyes when he wasn’t there, reporting back to Matsukawa with updates on you. His latest? You had been missing from lunch for the better part of the week, and last he saw you were ditching the last half of this day.

Which Matsukawa wasn’t letting happen, because if you went home right now, you wouldn’t come back. And he couldn’t live with himself if he let you drop.

“I was meeting with Harakashi to tell her to piss off. You’re my omega. Why in the hell would I even want someone like her when I already have you? You are mine, and I fought for you. I don’t need a corner worker.”

Any fight you had in you disappeared when you saw the small tears glazing your alphas eyes, making your own break free as you ran into his chest. His arms locked around you, holding as if you would slip away if his grip loosened.

Which you just might’ve. Good thing he wasn’t planning on letting you slip.

“Wanna go get food?”

“...Yea. Can we get nuggets?”

“Anything for my pretty omega.”

➵ Okay this one is super short, and I’m sorry! I just wanted to get this out for you guys!

➵ And I think you guys wanted a follow up of sorts for Oikawa.

➵So here it is!

➵ Things didn’t improve over night.

➵It took awhile, but it was worth it.

➵ In time you and Oikawa reached a nice equilibrium.

➵ He wore his bond mark loud and proud and you made sure to tell him when you were uncomfortable with his fangirls and how close they were getting.

➵ In turn, you learned to slowly let go of any reservations you had on his loyalty.

➵He wouldn’t have marked you if he didn’t want to devote his entire being to you.

➵ This showed up when a girl, who you despised (With no hard feelings, since she hated you just as much) tried confessing to Oikawa.

➵Toru, baby boy, shut her down the minute she opened her mouth.

➵ He didn’t even look her way, instead searching for you and quickly brightening up when he saw you.

➵ If he had a tail it would’ve been wagging.

➵ Things improved and everyone was all the better for it.

➵ And Toru made sure to, not only apologize to Iwaizumi, but gift him a voucher for a free movie for him and his omega (who was having a hard time as well).

➵Things were looking up and you both were sure to keep it that way!

___

“Kentaro, please don’t hurt Kindaichi!” Your pleas fell on deaf ears as you tried to stop the alphas from snapping on each other.

It wasn’t that Kyoutani didn’t like or respect you, because he did-- you were like a second mom, but Kindaichi just got on every single one of his nerves. And then tried dragging you into it! Like, the audacity of this bitch.

“Kyoutani!” Your alpha’s bark had both the blond and raven pausing, a careful glance making both back down as Oikawa heading towards you guys (Throwing a pile of confession letters into the trash on his way by without even looking; some point they would get the hint if he left the blatantly in the open).

The blond growled lowly, sending you a quick glance before returning to practice. Oikawa let him, turning his glare to the instigator of the whole thing. The onion-headed pup hid behind your smaller frame, making your laugh.

It was almost like that moment when dad’s pulled out their ‘behave or else’ voice. And in a way it was.

“One of these days my pretty dove won’t be there to save you, Kindaichi.”

“I know.”

You and Oikawa sent a look to each before you laughed, moving so Oikawa and Kindaichi could have a ‘man to man’ talk.

The pack was dysfunctional, and you almost let it go.

You were thankful you didn’t and still had this family to come back home too. All thanks to your alpha.

“STOP MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT YOUR OMEGA SHITTY-KAWA.”

“I can’t help it, Iwa- IWA STOP HITTING ME- Y/N HELP-”

You shook your head laughing, jogging to save said alpha.

He was childish and arrogant, and sometimes got too far up his own ass, but he was yours. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

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kashi-prompts · 4 years ago

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Prompt: (Above)

Pairing: Kakashi x wife!reader

Wordcount: 3,450

A/N: Hope you enjoy! :)

In the distance, the sound of a rolling surge of thunder passed through the clouds. You listened, hearing it echo in through the hills and beyond the horizon.

"Guess we'd better get a move on," you noted, looking up at the clouds that had rolled over your heads while you both traveled in conversation.

"We'll be alright," Kakashi told you, his fingers laced with yours, "how are you feeling?"

"How many times are you going to ask me that?" you asked him, your hand instinctively caressing your round belly. Eight months had passed since you had discovered you were expecting.

"I just want to make sure you are okay," the Hokage admitted, his profile set for the horizon. Despite the trace of irritation you had felt creeping up on you when he asked you the same question for the - what was it - fourth-time this afternoon, you knew he meant well. Sensing the drip of annoyance in your tone, his fingers squeezed yours to remind you he was just caring for you.

Even so, he was correct. You had hardly slept last night, your body feeling heavier than usual. As you had risen from bed, you felt your stomach contract in what you assumed to be false labor pains. They seemingly continued throughout the day, but you brushed them off. The doctor had reminded you to expect these. Certainly, the baby wouldn't be coming this early.

After all, this hadn't exactly been an easy pregnancy. The first and second trimesters had been saturated with successive days of nausea, vomiting, and high blood pressure. For the most part, the nausea and vomiting could be controlled, but the high blood pressure was worrisome to the doctors.

You rubbed your belly again, frowning as you felt the tight squeeze again. It quickly passed, and you hid it well. The pain was familiar. Your mind slipped back to the moment where your world had stilled at the question of whether or not you were having a miscarriage earlier in your pregnancy. The sudden pain and spotting were surefire signs of such. Kakashi had kept himself composed for the most part, but you had seen in his eyes how shaken he was by the situation.

"You're a high-risk pregnancy due to your blood pressure, Mrs. Hatake," the doctor had told you both that evening in the emergency room. "Take this medication and check in with your doctor every few weeks."

Orders had been obeyed, but the underlying threat of a miscarriage certainly shook you to your core until you finally reached the third trimester, where the chances of it decreased. Despite that, you still were high-risk. Kakashi watched you like a hawk.

"Thank you for this birthday gift, [y/n]," Kakashi interrupted your thoughts, bringing you back to the present day. You rubbed your round stomach more. "I'm excited to spend the next few days with you."

You nodded, smiling over at him. In his backpack were two gift certificates for the new hot spring the citizens of Konoha had been raving about recently. It was a bit of a hike, but Kakashi would never pass up a moment of peace to walk with you next to him. You squeezed his hand again and leaned into his shoulder, rubbing his forearm.

"I'm glad you like it," you smiled, "I hope it's everything people have been saying it is."

"I'm sure it will be," he said, lifting his chin to observe the darkening sky above. He hesitated for a moment, and as the profile of his lips opened to say another word, you felt the first raindrop hit your forehead.

"We still have some ways to go, don't we?" you asked, frowning as you lifted a hand to feel more rain falling onto it.

"Yes," he frowned, stopping on the path to turn to you. You looked up at him, watching his mind think. "This will set us back if we stay undercover until this passes."

A crack of lightning hit behind you in the distance, loud enough to cause you to jolt and take a step towards your husband. He lifted his hand protectively over your shoulder, knowing there was nothing to be afraid of but calming you anyway.

"Let's just find some shelter, for now, okay?" you asked, looking up at him from his chest. The outline of his jaw clenched in thought before nodding.

The storm continued to draw closer. The beats between the lightning and the thunder strikes continued to shrink as the rain began to fall harder. Eventually, the two of you settled for a slight indentation on the side of a mountain that one could barely call a cave. But it was enough to cover you both and then some as you huddled close together.

He smiled at you, laughing suddenly as he pressed your shoulders to his chest, "how typical. The one time I have a few days off, and it has to storm like this."

"I'm sure it'll pass soon," you reassured him, your hand stroking his knee.

"You feel o-"

"I'm fine, Kashi," you told him assuredly. "I just want to enjoy your birthday."

Twenty minutes passed, and the sheets of precipitation didn't seem to be letting up. His fingers danced on your shoulder, tapping in rhythm with the drips of water on the outside of the cave. You rested your head on his shoulder, your eyes feeling heavy. The crackling of lightning every few minutes caused you to brace your body for the rumblings of the thunder. You felt tense, waiting for it each time.

"At this rate, we'll have to travel into the night," Kakashi frowned after an hour had passed.

Sitting on hard ground, your body began to ache. Was the pressure building up in your lower back simply from sitting here? It felt different like someone was pressing down on your back from the outside. You took a deep breath, rubbing your chest to calm your anxiety that was beginning to bubble up unexpectantly. Above you, you felt Kakashi glance down at you.

"I've got to stand up," you told him abruptly, "my back hurts."

The silver-haired shinobi stood quickly, taking his wife's hand to help you up from the ground. Your round belly was prominent as you tried to balance yourself. Something was wrong, you surmised gravely. Or maybe you were just tired from the journey.

You had insisted on accompanying him after he had told you they would use the gift certificates at a later date. They didn't need to be used right now, he had told you. But again, you had insisted. He needed a vacation, and this was the perfect opportunity to do it before the baby arrived.

Now, you looked out the cave opening at the rain that was slowing. You stretched your back, bending your spine awkwardly in a crude attempt to alleviate the pressure. You grimaced, feeling your heart rate heighten with anxiety.

Another wave of thunder echoed in the mountains, loud enough to feel as though the ground had rattled beneath your feet. The tidal sheets of rain continued, the mist soaking your sandaled feet.

"Come sit back down," Kakashi advised quietly, touching your shoulder. For a few moments, you felt like time had warped, your eyes transfixed on the buckets of precipitation raining down on the ground a few feet away.

You felt your lower body seize, your organs feeling like they were being pushed out of your body through your skin. You inhaled slowly, swallowing hard as your eyes remained on the horizon. Your jaw clenched.

"[y/n]?"

His hand was on your arm, his face close to yours to try to meet your gaze. He could tell something was wrong by the way the muscles in your jaw moved. The breath in you had taken at the initial shock to your system finally let itself out through your mouth with a shaky exhale. His hand fell to your stomach.

Reaching over, you placed your fingers over his.

"[y/n]," Kakashi began as you looked down, leaning against the cave's rough wall. He let go of your belly as you closed your eyes, trying your best to control the chaotic, out-of-control feeling your body was producing. Your heart was pounding.

A calloused palm touched your jaw, pushing it up to meet his troubled gaze. You looked down, staring at the pulse beating at the base of his neck. You focused on that, feeling yourself slipping into a panic at the thought of birthing a baby in a cave miles away from a hospital. His hand dropped back down to the side of your belly, his palm radiating heat to your cold skin. You put your hand atop of his again.

"Are you okay?" He dipped his chin again to meet your gaze. You finally looked up, meeting his wide eyes. A sudden intense wave of pain hit you, and you gritted your teeth, clutching his fingers against your stomach as you began to slide down the side of the cave wall.

"[Y/N]!" The obvious, intense panic in his voice transmitted through your body. One of the many qualities you loved about him was his knack for remaining calm in situations that needed it. Yet, the sight of your water breaking as your knees buckled in pain undoubtedly shook your husband.

"What's going on?" He asked, his voice drenched with concern.

"It hurts," you managed.

"Contractions?" He asked, exasperated. You nodded frantically, panic rising.

"I can't have the baby here," you managed through hitched breaths, "it's too early. They're a month early, Kakashi."

"Dammit. I know, I know," he assured her, pushing his palm against the top of your forehead and moving your damp hair from your eyes. His eyes searched yours, the magnitude of the situation dawning on the both of you.

"Come, come back over here," he lifted you gently from under your armpit and guiding you away from the cave's entrance. Quickly, he took off his uniform jacket and placed it on the floor for you to sit on. Kneeling beside you, he let you rest your head in his lap, brushing his fingers across your forehead as he stared off into the distance, thinking with a furrowed, sweating brow.

"Stay here," he said suddenly, putting your head under his backpack.

You grasped his hand frantically, squeezing it as another wave hit you without warning.

"Please don't leave," you told him desperately, his fingers losing circulation with the amount of pressure you were transmitting from your body to his.

"I have to; it'll only be for a little while. I have to get help," the man who remained calm in every situation he faced was manic when met with the possibility of losing both his wife and unborn baby at his hand if he were to mishandle even the smallest of requirements to birth a baby. He was certainly not qualified and had little to no medical experience, barely enough to mend himself on a battlefield, let alone bring a baby- their baby - into the world.

"Please," you pleaded, riding out the same wave of pain through gritted teeth. A crack of lightning landed at the front of the cave, the sound jolting you and spiking your anxiety. Kakashi knelt beside you again, taking a deep breath. You took a few shallowed breaths as the pain dissipated. He weaved his fingers between yours.

"I have an idea," he said abruptly, turning to the entrance again. "I promise, I will only be a minute."

You nodded, rubbing your stomach again as you watched him run out into the sheets of rain. Your body felt heavy like there was no way you could even manage to pull yourself up if you had to. You were going to have this baby in this cave - you knew it. Kakashi couldn't carry you that far, and you wouldn't let him if he tried. You felt your throat constrict, angry with yourself. You shouldn't have ignored the signs. Your baby was coming, and you missed it.

"Okay," he said breathlessly, jogging back to you. "I have Pakkun heading towards the nearest village to get medical assistance."

"Kashi," you managed, feeling your eyes well with tears. "This is my fault."

His damp hand caressed your forehead, drips of rainwater falling from the tips of his hair onto your arm.

"No, it's not," he assured you quietly, "it's okay. I'm right here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you or the baby."

"I'm sorry," you managed, a tear falling through your temple into your hairline. He leaned down, pressing his lips to your forehead as his other grasped your hand.

"It's okay," he murmured against your skin. "It'll be okay."

"Oh gosh," you squeeze his hand again, feeling the unbearable pain trickle back into your system. It's unrelenting pressure causing havoc throughout your spine.

"Breathe," he reminded you, his lips against the shell of your ear. You listened, trying to calm your breath that had since become a chaotic mess of hiccups and yelps.

"What if-"

"Just breathe," Kakashi told you, gently placing his forehead against yours. His damp hair tickled your skin—the cooling rainwater a relief to your sweating body.

Twenty more minutes of unrelenting pain passed. The intervals between them growing smaller and smaller. The rain outside let up, the thunder rolling casually in the distance. You cursed at it.

"When will Pakkun be back?" you panted out, your jaw clenched.

Kakashi's eye was consistently on the opening of the cave, just as much as it was on you. You had seen his Adam's Apple bounce in his neck nervously at your question.

"Soon," he responded, "I'm sure he won't be long. The nearest village is-"

"Ahh-ohhh, no," was all you could manage. You could see stars in your vision, the pressure building in your whole body. You let out a cry, squeezing your husband's hand as he remained steady next to you. He gripped your hand back, his gloved fingers squeezing at your knuckles.

"This can't be happening," you cried, shaking your head.

"It's okay. Please, [y/n], it's okay. Just breathe."

"I have to push," you managed, your face shone with sweat. Stricken with anxiety, you heard him exhale next to you. You opened your eyes to look at him; his two charcoal eyes fixated on you.

"I'm so sorry," you managed breathlessly.

He shook his head, pressing his lips to your forehead again, this time more firmly. "Don't be sorry. I love you. Everything will be okay. Let's do this."

Wriggling your way out of your bottoms, Kakashi nestled himself between your legs, propping them up as they had taught him in all those birthing classes you had both attended.

"Oh," you heard him say, "Oh gosh. I see their head!"

Everything felt like it was on fire in your body: every nerve ending, every piece of skin, every ounce of your every being. Kakashi looked up at you, his gaze a mixture of worry and determination.

"You have to push," he told you calmly, rubbing your leg reassuredly.

"I can't," you breathed, trying to catch your breath.

"You have to. Remember to breathe. I'm right here; just breathe."

You gritted your teeth, pushing so hard you felt your ears block out. Heat rose up your neck as you let out a gritted yell. The pain was unbearable.

"C'mon, baby, just a little more!" You heard him say. The world felt surreal.

"Please, I can't," you whimpered, exasperated and exhausted. He leaned forward over your belly, grasping at the back of your head. Pulling his mask down, he pressed his lips firmly to yours, the sweat from both of your upper lips mingling.

"You're almost there," he whispered, staring directly into your eyes. "You're almost there. Just keep going. I'm right here."

You nodded, your eyes focused on his as he leaned back down. You took a deep breath in, gritting your teeth as you pushed as hard as you could. A small source of pressure was relieved as you heard your husband laugh joyously.

"Oh gosh," he laughed, his mask still pooled around his neck. You looked up, a baby covered in blood and mucus in his arms. The beaming smile on his face, the one you didn't often see, as he gazed down at your baby, was enough of a pain reliever if there ever was one.

"It's a girl," he looked up at you, his eyes glassed over with tears, "you did it, baby."

You leaned back, feeling delirious with joy and physical pain. Kakashi came up to you, your eyes never leaving the baby as he put her near you. The bottom of his shirt wrapped around the little bundle, a peak of his skin showing beneath it. Tears streamed down both of your faces at the sight of such a little thing. Clearly, she was small. But her mighty cries were loud enough to echo in the cave. You leaned up, touching the meager turf of white hair on her head. A joyful whimper bubbled up in your chest.

You felt his lips on the top of your head as you played with her tiny fingers. You felt him chuckle against your hair as the little one let out another wail.

As you stared at her, you were beginning to feel nauseous suddenly. The perception of the world slowly fading around you became evident. Like you were dreaming and waking up from the dream.

"Boss!" Pakkun's voice filled the cave, "I'm back! I have help!"

You tried to hold on, blinking as you held your daughter's tiny hand. Something felt wrong. Multiple people in nursing uniforms bustled into the narrow cave, their faces calm until they looked to you.

"Kashi-" you managed through ragged breaths. You looked up at your husband as his beaming face handed his baby off carefully to a nurse. As he looked back down, his smile vanished as your eyes closed.

"[Y/N]! [Y/N], are you okay?" you heard Kakashi's voice, pungent with anxiety.

"Move aside, Hokage-sama," a voice commanded.

The world lulled between darkness and reality. The pain increased while your head felt heavy, falling back to the earth below.

"Her blood pressure is dropping," someone called out.

"What's wrong with her?"

"We have to get her back to a hospital."

"What's wrong with my wife?"

"Please, Hokage-sama! Stay back!"

**************

You woke up a few hours later.

Your body ached, and your confusion was high. Groaning, you reached down to feel your belly. Realizing it was significantly smaller than usual, your eyes shot open at once.

You were in a hospital room. A blood pressure cuff wrapped tightly around your arm, and an IV stuck in the crook of your elbow. Your confused state only heightened your anxiety. Frantically, you looked around the room as you uncomfortably sat up in bed. Your eyes landed on the opposite side of the room near the window.

The rustling of bedsheets had startled him, turning around to see his concerned expression gaze over at you. In his arms, a small bundle of pink blankets was tucked across his chest.

Carefully, he walked over to you, his gaze softening as he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

"I'm so glad you're okay," you heard him whisper, his voice cracking slightly. You looked up at him, the images of earlier flooding back to you. His eyes were full of love and admiration, smiling at you.

"Can I hold her?" you asked, looking down at the little bundle you had heard him coo at.

"You're her mother; why wouldn't you?" he chuckled, gingerly transferring the baby to your arms.

Looking down, you felt tears begin to flow freely down your cheeks. Kakashi leaned over, his chin resting at your temple as he wrapped an arm behind your head.

"She's so beautiful," you managed, your fingers touching her rough baby cheeks. Her squinted eyes slept peacefully in your arms. You had never felt such an overwhelming sense of love towards anything.

"Like her mother," Kakashi murmured, nuzzling his nose fondly against your temple. You felt wetness near your hairline, realizing he was also crying.

"Have you thought of a name yet?" You asked quietly, gently tracing your daughter's white eyebrows with your fingertip.

"I did," he said, looking back down at the child, "but if you don't like it -"

"What is it?" you laughed gently.

"Suki," he offered.

You thought about it, smiling as you looked down at this little thing you and him had created. Through such turmoil you had both gone through to finally get to this moment. You smiled.

"Yes," you said quietly. "Suki."

Beloved one.

#Kakashi x reader #Kakashi #kakashi x you #Kakashi Hatake #Kakashi x wife!reader #Feel dat angst #Hope you like it!#Kakashi imagines #Kakashi imagine #kakashi headcanons

380 notes · View notes

homoose · 4 years ago

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Love Has a Learning Curve: Part V (x reader)

Summary: Y/N meets Diana, and it goes better than she expected. Y/N meets the team, and it doesn’t go completely as planned. Spencer’s spidey senses are tingling.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: hurt/comfort, fluff

Word Count: 5k

Warnings/Includes: alcohol/drinking, reader gets drunk on accident and is incredibly insecure and self-deprecating, I think that’s it

a/n: Thank you all for your patience and kind words in this really sad and weird moment of my life. This couple brings me so much joy and I’m absolutely dreading the hurt that’s coming in the next part. Sorry in advance 😭 But also, you can re-read Lighthouse and First of Many before the angst!!!!!! If you haven’t read those fics, I recommend it because there are some relevant connections. ♥️

Series Masterlist

———

Y/N felt his hands sneaking around her waist, rubbing low over her tummy, and then the press of his warm body along her back. She tilted her head to make room for him to settle his chin on her shoulder, smiling as his hands completed their journey and wrapped her up tight.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” she answered, pressing their cheeks together.

“Are you almost done?”

“You made quite the mess, doctor.” It was the last weekend of Spencer’s sabbatical, and he had spent the afternoon cooking all of her favorite foods— a sort of preemptive gift for when he was back on the BAU’s unpredictable schedule. She’d taken on the responsibility of the dishes in return, which was no easy undertaking considering it seemed as though he’d used every single pot, pan, and utensil in her kitchen.

“If you’d let me help, you’d be done by now,” he complained, hugging her a little tighter and turning his head to drag his lips across her cheek.

“Let me just finish this pan, and then I’m all yours.”

He pressed a kiss to her cheek, then another to the spot behind her ear, and one more to her shoulder. Then he propped his chin once more and rubbed his thumbs where they rested against her sides.

She laughed a little as she ran the dish brush along the edges of the pan. “Comfy?”

He hummed his confirmation, and she could feel his smile as she lathered the inside of the pan, then rinsed it, and finally drained the sink. She dried her hands on the kitchen towel and turned to face him. He didn’t remove his hands, instead just let them glide over her hips and then settle on her lower back.

“Thank you for all of that.” She gestured vaguely in the direction of the fridge, packed full of leftovers. “My mom will be so honored to know you made her pot pie.”

“I could eat it every day for the rest of my life and be very, very happy.” He dropped his gaze and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Speaking of moms, I… I was wondering if you, um— if you’d want to meet my mom?”

Her eyes went a little wide, and he took her silence as an answer, continuing, “You don’t have to. It—it’s too soon.”

She brought a hand up to cup his chin between her fingers, bringing his eyes back to hers. “I would love to meet your mom.”

…

Spencer shut off the engine of the Volvo, turning in his seat to face her. She tried to settle her nerves without also spurring his own anxiety, which had been quite obviously flaring all morning.

“I’ll check in and visit for a few minutes, try to gauge what kind of a day it is, and then I’ll text you to come in or not.” He ran a hand over his face. “I really should have had you drive separate, because if it’s not a good day I don’t want you to have to wait around while I visit with her, but she’s been having a lot of good days recently, and—”

“Honey.” She found his hands where they were clutching a little aggressively at his leg and covered them with her own, running her thumbs soothingly along his skin. “It’s okay. Either way— whether I meet her today or we wait for a better day— it’s okay.”

He closed his eyes and breathed a relieved sigh. “Have I told you how much I love you yet today?”

“Mm, I don’t think you have,” she smiled.

He brought her hands up to his mouth, kissing the back of each. “I love you so much. The most.”

“I beg to differ.” She leaned over the console and kissed his nose. “I definitely love you the most.”

“Agree to disagree.” He shifted to meet her lips in a quick kiss. “I’ll text you in a few minutes?”

She gave him another kiss. “Sounds like a plan.”

Spencer dropped the keys into her hand and then climbed out of the car, closing the door and practically trotting toward the building. She would have laughed if it weren’t for the raging anxiety that was nearly suffocating her. She opened her door and put her legs out the side of the car, taking a deep breath and looking out over the parking lot.

Y/N knew that meeting Diana was a good thing. That Spencer wanted her to meet the most important woman in his life was a testament to their relationship. But the closer she got to it, the more she felt completely and totally out of place. What did she have to offer this woman’s remarkable son other than a mountain of student loan debt, an endless supply of expo markers, and an ever growing collection of toilet paper rolls?

She loved teaching kindergarten, and she was the first to defend the profession in most settings. But she was about to be in a room with two of the most brilliant minds on the planet, and she couldn’t help but wonder what she would possibly have to contribute. More than that, what would Diana Reid think of her son settling for someone so… ordinary?

Her phone buzzed with the incoming text message, and she bit back a sigh.

Spencer: It’s an incredible day. She’s already asking about you.

Y/N turned her face up to the clear blue sky, feeling the sun on her face and taking a deep breath. Then, she hoisted herself out of the vehicle, locking it and turning to walk toward the building. DC was hot and sticky this time of year, and she was grateful for the blast of air conditioning as she entered the facility.

The woman at the front desk— Suzanna, by her name tag— smiled kindly at her. “How can I help you?”

“I’m, um— I’m here to visit with Diana Reid.” Y/N began signing into the visitor’s log, smiling a little at Spencer’s hasty signature right above. “Her son is here, too— Spencer.”

“Ah, yes, you must be Y/N. Diana’s been so excited to meet you.” Suzanna chuckled lightly at her expression, and Y/N wondered just how much everyone already knew about her. “They’re just through there— in the sunroom.”

Y/N mumbled her thanks and turned in the direction of the sunroom, smoothing a nonexistent wrinkle from the skirt of her dress. She’d spent far too long getting ready this morning, including steaming the dress— a simple number with a black bodice and a skirt covered in books. It was her own personal nod to the incredible legacy that Diana had left— not only as a professor of classic literature, but also as the mother of the most incredible reader— and man— she’d ever met.

And now she had a moment of panic, wondering if maybe it was too on the nose, or if Diana would think it was silly and immature. She briefly considered turning and heading back out to the parking lot, but then Spencer appeared in the doorway to the sunroom, waving his thanks to Suzanna and then positively beaming at her . How could she deny him this?

He held out his hand to her, and she accepted it, instantly more at ease from the simple touch. He pulled her gently into the room, and there was Diana, perched on a floral sofa and looking quite elegant in a soft purple shawl.

She stood immediately, an absolutely radiant smile stretching across her face at the sight of them. Y/N watched as she clasped her hands in front of her and felt Spencer squeeze her hand at the same time.

“Y/N,” Diana smiled. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Y/N returned her smile. “It is such an honor to finally meet you, Mrs. Reid.”

She scoffed and waved her hand. “Just Diana, please.” Y/N saw the moment she noticed the dress, her eyes crinkling a bit at the corners. “I can already tell you’re perfect for my son: the lover of books.” She motioned to the seating area. “Come, sit.”

The three of them sat, Spencer in the armchair just across from them as she and Diana sat on the sofa. Y/N folded her hands in her lap and tried to straighten her posture. Diana leaned back against the couch with a smile.

“I really have heard a lot about you,” she repeated, sliding her eyes over to a blushing Spencer. “Spencer tells me you teach kindergarten.” Y/N nodded, and Diana shook her head. “I deeply admire the patience and energy you must have for that age group.”

Y/N laughed a little. “They can certainly be a handful. I hear you were a teacher as well.” Her eyes went a little wide at her mistake. “A professor, I mean.”

“Oh, yes, yes— 15th century literature.” Diana tilted her head, considering Y/N with a knowing gaze. “But teaching is teaching, no matter the age. And where would any of us be without our kindergarten teachers? The ones who teach us the very foundations of learning. Who not only teach us to read and write, but also to inquire and investigate and discover.”

Y/N felt unexpected tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, and she had to take a moment to breathe before speaking. “Thank you for saying that. Sometimes people assume that kindergarten is all play doh and finger paint.”

“What’s that saying about making assumptions?” Diana pondered.

“Issac Asimov said, ‘Assumptions are our windows on the world,’” Spencer offered.

“Mm, thank you for that, honey, but the one I’m thinking of is from an episode of The Odd Couple , I believe,” Diana corrected, winking at Y/N. “When you assume, you make an ass of you and me.”

“Ah.” Spencer held back a laugh, and Y/N’s heart felt just a little bit lighter.

Diana smiled brightly at her. “Your students must absolutely adore you.” Diana gestured vaguely to Spencer before continuing, “Spencer loved his kindergarten teacher— hm, Mrs. Hudson, was it?”

Spencer nodded in confirmation. Diana looked back to Y/N with a slightly mischievous grin. “His report cards always came back with the note that he was ‘helping’ the other students just a little too much— always the professor, even at five years old.”

Spencer let out an indignant squeak, and Y/N laughed. “My parents got a very similar note.” She gave Spencer a smile. “We just couldn’t help it, apparently.”

“I’m sure it didn’t help that he’d been reading for three years before he was even enrolled,” Diana mused. “Did he tell you that he originally considered studying the classics?” Y/N shook her head. “Well. When you’ve already read and discussed all the course material, it seems a waste of money, doesn’t it?”

“Indeed, I suppose it does,” Y/N agreed.

“Oh,” Diana tapped Y/N’s arm affectionately before gesturing back to Spencer, “and then there was the time that he became so fixated on the idea of becoming a magician that he somehow managed to trap a rabbit in our backyard.”

“ Mom ,” Spencer choked out.

“Oh my. No, no— please go on,” Y/N begged, waving her hand dismissively in Spencer’s direction and leaning closer to Diana. “I need all the embarrassing stories.”

Diana let out a lilting laugh. “The poor thing spent the better part of a weekend in a storage bin while Spencer tried to figure out the top hat trick.”

Y/N turned to him with a bewildered grin. “The storage bin was well ventilated!” he defended. “And she had plenty of food and water.”

“Did you figure out the trick?” Y/N asked.

“No,” he admitted sheepishly. “Mom found out about the rabbit before I could. And you need more than just the hat for the trick anyway.”

“We fed her one last carrot and then sent her back out to be with the rest of her bunny family, who must have been missing her dearly.” Diana winked at Y/N. “At least that’s what I had to tell six year old Spencer.”

“Rabbits are incredibly social and live in large colonies, so that actually was most likely the case,” Spencer supplied.

Diana smiled fondly at her son, and Y/N could practically feel the love radiating off of her. “Either way, I had one very sad little boy for the next week or so.” She turned back to Y/N. “We actually took a break from some of the more... advanced reading material so that I could read him The Tale of Peter Rabbit .”

“A classic in its own right,” Y/N said.

Diana nodded. “I’ve always said that children’s literature encompasses some of the most profound and imaginative storytelling. We can learn a lot from Peter and Ferdinand.”

“I love Ferdinand!” Y/N gasped. “Gosh, that’s one of my all time favorite books. My mom read it to me when I was little, and I read it to my kids every year.”

Diana threw her hands up. “And that right there tells me everything I need to know about your teaching. Well— that and everything Spencer’s already gushed about, of course.”

The three of them spent the better part of the afternoon laughing and trading embarrassing childhood stories. Diana was even more lovely than she could have imagined, and Y/N was grateful to be so quickly accepted into the small but incredibly loving family unit.

Every so often, she would catch Spencer’s eyes on her— soft and content and practically sparkling— and her heart would leap into her throat. He was uncharacteristically quiet, letting Diana lead most of their side of the conversation, only chiming in here and there to offer context or defend himself in a particularly mortifying tale. Diana unwittingly (or perhaps purposefully) revealed just how much Spencer had spoken about her; she already knew about Y/N’s home, her family, and most of her interests.

Spencer may have been quiet, but he was also blushing profusely— caught in the act of being absolutely enamored with her. Y/N found that she didn’t know how to feel about that. She should be happy. She should be thrilled. And in some ways, she was. Being with Spencer had made her the happiest she’d been in a very long time— maybe ever.

It was the happiness that scared her.

She deserved happiness. That’s what Anita would tell her. But the way she felt with Spencer— comfortable, natural, easy — was the rising action. She was still anticipating the climax, the mountaintop, the apex of joy. She hated herself for it, but she couldn’t help it. She’d learned that every mountain had a valley, and the falling action always dragged her against every jagged stone on the way down. She never failed to plummet from the heights into the depths of where she’d learned to live, quiet and lonely and a little bit bruised.

This knowledge didn't stop her from soaking up every second of the highs.

“I’m starting to get a little tired,” Diana admitted. She reached across the couch and patted Y/N’s hand, squeezing gently, and then she looked to Spencer. “I start to— forget when I’m tired.”

The smile that had become almost permanent that afternoon faltered slightly, but he nodded and checked his watch. “Four hours is pretty good.”

She hummed. “They’ve been longer as of late.”

Y/N watched as his nose twitched. “Does Dr. Kincaid think that’s good or bad?”

Diana gave him a sympathetic smile. “She’s not sure.”

It was quiet for a long moment, and then Y/N stood. “Let me give you a minute together.” Diana stood as well, and Y/N clasped her hands together. “I don’t think I can articulate how incredibly happy I am to have finally met you. And I— I definitely don’t have the words to properly thank you for raising such a wonderful man.”

Diana took her hands, squeezing them gently before pulling her into a hug. Y/N returned the embrace, and Diana murmured, “Thank you for loving him. Through the highs and the lows.”

Y/N blinked back tears for the second time that day, nodding into Diana’s shoulder and hugging her tightly.

With a final squeeze, Diana released her, and Y/N excused herself back out into the foyer. She signed out of the visitor log and waved to a grinning Suzanna, and then headed outside to catch her breath. She made it to the car, unlocking it and settling into the passenger seat before leaning over to turn it on and get the windows rolled down.

Spencer emerged from the building, his hands in his pockets. He quickly made his way to the vehicle, practically running across the parking lot and sliding behind the wheel. Before she could even say anything, he was surging across the console to grab her face in his hands and pull her into a kiss.

She steadied herself with her hands on his chest, clutching at his shirt and returning the unexpected passion with a slightly bewildered smile. When he was finished, he pulled back to lean their foreheads together. She caught her breath and asked, “What was that for?”

“She loved you, and I love you, and I’m so glad you got to meet her.”

She could hear the emotion in his voice, and she slid her arms around his back, pulling him into a hug. “Me, too.”

He leaned into her for a minute longer, breathing into her hair and pressing another kiss to her shoulder. Then he pulled back, smiling widely. “How would you feel about meeting the other family?”

…

Spencer drove them to meet up with the team at O’Keefe’s, a favorite haunt of theirs on the evenings when they’d wrapped a case at a reasonable hour. They headed up the sidewalk hand in hand, with Y/N leaning a little into his side. She was feeling slightly more at ease this time around thanks to the buffer of knowing Penelope, Luke, and JJ already.

Spencer held the door open, trailing in behind her with a hand on her waist. She spotted Penelope’s bright green dress immediately, and Spencer raised his hand in greeting. The group gave them a raucous cheer, and Y/N couldn’t help but smile.

Spencer kept his hand on the small of her back as they approached the table. He greeted the group and then turned to Y/N, gesturing around the table. He introduced her to Tara, Matt, and Emily, the three of whom greeted her with warm handshakes. Penelope was practically vibrating with excitement as she scooped her up into a hug.

“Gosh dang it, you are just so cute ,” Penelope squeaked. She pulled back from the hug to take stock of Y/N’s outfit. “The books, I love it. And the shoes!”

Y/N laughed, twirling her ankle to show off the pink t-strap heels. “I’m definitely going to regret them in about an hour. But they look cute anyway.”

Tara sidled up to the two of them, raising her glass in solidarity. “Here’s to cute shoes and pinched toes.” She took a sip of her scotch and then turned to Y/N. “What’s your poison?”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” Y/N insisted.

Tara waved her hand and gestured to Spencer. “You got grandpa to come out to the bar. You’re not paying for a single drink tonight.”

“I come out with you guys!” he squeaked indignantly.

A chorus of exasperated groans made their way around the group, followed by good-natured laughs. Tara raised a single eyebrow in Spencer’s direction, and then turned her attention back to Y/N. “Like I said, you won’t need your wallet tonight. What’ll it be?”

…

She did not, in fact, have to reach for her wallet at all that evening. Between the seven of them, Y/N’s cup was always full and her smile was nearly permanent. She heard endless stories about Spencer, complete with photo evidence— much to his dismay.

She learned that Tara had a doctorate in forensic psychology, and Emily had worked internationally for years becoming the Unit Chief of the BAU. Luke had been an Army Ranger and a member of the Fugitive Task Force, and Matt had traveled the globe with the International Response Team.

They were all incredibly kind, asking about her family and her work, listening with interest as she recounted growing up on a farm and her days spent teaching kindergarten. Despite their apparent interest, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a little… silly. Stories of field trips and finger painting felt incredibly juvenile in comparison to the lived experiences of this remarkable team of people.

She did her best to steer the conversation back to the team whenever possible, which in some ways made the whole thing worse. But she managed to keep a smile for the evening, and she lost track of how many drinks made their way down the hatch. Luke ordered an assortment of snack foods for the group, and she gratefully accepted a few fries and a mozzarella stick to soak up some of the alcohol sloshing around in her stomach. At some point Spencer returned from the bar with an extra glass of water, sliding it her way with a knowing smile and a press of his lips to her cheek.

Eventually, Y/N had to excuse herself to the bathroom, patting Spencer’s arm and carefully navigating the dim bar. In the way that it so often did, the level of her intoxication made itself abundantly clear in the harsh lighting of the restroom. She stumbled out of the stall to wash her hands, using the countertop for balance and cursing under her breath.

She raised her head to analyze her appearance, groaning a little at the smudge of mascara under her eyes. As she swiped at the black rings, she considered that she had never quite figured out the ideal amount of alcohol— somehow always managing to get a little too drunk. And now she was too drunk in front of all of Spencer’s friends— his family.

Not only that, but for the second time today, she couldn’t help but feel so overwhelmingly ordinary . Surrounded by the team, all extraordinary and awe-inspiring in their own right, she was… plain, unaccomplished, boring . Spencer had called her remarkable; she felt anything but.

She closed her eyes against the tears that were threatening to spill over, remembering the last time she’d cried in a bar bathroom. She’d spent that evening wondering what was wrong with her… wondering if she deserved to have someone like Spencer at all.

“That’s just… the alcohol talking,” she reminded herself out loud into the empty bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror. “Stop bein’ a weirdo.”

She pushed out of the bathroom and back into the bar, walking a little more cautiously as the alcohol started to course through her bloodstream. As she approached the group again, Spencer’s eyes found her immediately, and he reached for her, pulling her underneath his arm and into his side. He brought his mouth close to her ear and murmured, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just—” She slid her hand around his waist to keep herself steady. “Just more tipsy than I thought.”

He ran a soothing hand along her arm. “Do you wanna go home?”

She shook her head. “No, no— ‘M fine. ‘S nice to be with your friends.”

“You’re sure?” He squeezed her shoulder and lowered his voice. “Because honestly I’m kind of ready to go.”

She looked up from where her head was resting on his chest to see him smiling softly at her. “Whatever you want.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then turned back to the team and cleared his throat. “We’re gonna head out.”

Tara made a show of checking her watch. “10:45? I’m surprised you stayed this long, old man.”

…

Y/N’s eyes opened slowly and came into focus as Spencer’s car came to a stop outside her apartment. “Why’re we here?”

Spencer shut off the ignition and pulled out the key with a small smile. “I have a feeling you’re going to feel… less than stellar tomorrow. I thought you might like to wake up in your own bed. Hang on.”

He climbed out of the vehicle and closed the door before coming around to her side. She could feel the tears welling up as she fumbled with the buckle on her seatbelt. Everything was a little uncoordinated, and she felt absolutely ridiculous.

The door opened, and she carefully swung her legs out one at a time. Spencer stood slightly to the side, and she knew she should hurry up and let him get home, but she didn’t move to get up.

“Do you need help?”

She shook her head, and the action sent a tear rolling over her bottom lash line. She tried to swipe it away, but of course Spencer caught it.

“Hey— what’s wrong?” he asked gently.

She sniffed. “Are you just dropping me off?”

He cupped a hand underneath her chin to tilt her eyes upward, and his eyes were soft but concerned. “I was planning to come upstairs with you. Unless you don’t want me to.”

She shook her head. “No, I— you can come upstairs.”

“Okay.” Spencer cocked his head. “Honey, what’s going on?”

Y/N didn’t know where to begin. She was drowning in self-doubt— had been since about the one month mark. It seemed that every day there was something new to feel insecure about. The confidence she’d had on his doorstep in March was nowhere to be found.

That was too much for her slow moving brain to articulate at the moment, so she settled on: “They’re all so smart and funny and cool and interesting.”

“Okay…” he prompted.

“And I’m not,” she admitted.

His mouth turned quickly down. “That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” she insisted. “I’m just— a kindergarten teacher and I— I don’t have any cool skills or stories, and I don’t even have any muscles, and they’re all so pretty —”

“Hey, stop— stop.” Spencer squatted down to be eye-level with her. “First of all, you’re not ‘just’ anything. And you’re my favorite kindergarten teacher and the best one I know.” He grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together. “You have lots of cool skills and stories. And I don’t have any muscles either.”

She lifted her free hand to squeeze his bicep. “Yes, you do.”

“Muscles are overrated.” He smiled and brought a hand to her face, smoothing her hair back and then letting his fingers linger on her cheek. “And frankly, pretty is too mundane a term to describe you. I’d go with something like radiant, or ethereal, or incandescent.”

“You have to s‘plain your jokes to me,” she slurred, swiping her forearm under her nose.

“Not always. And besides, I have to explain my jokes to basically everyone,” he reminded her. He squeezed her hand. “But unlike everyone else, you let me explain them to you. And you actually listen to the explanation.” He shrugged. “I think I like that more than I like telling the joke.”

She was quiet then, eyes focused on a particularly interesting piece of loose gravel. She knew the list of her flaws was longer, but her brain couldn’t string them together in her current state.

Spencer shuffled closer and waited patiently until she finally looked at him before continuing.

“I love you. And not because of your job, or your cool stories, or your muscles,” he clarified. “I love you because you’re you. And, a little selfishly, because I love the person that I am when I’m with you. Okay?”

He smiled tentatively, and she let out a long breath. “Okay.”

He leaned forward and kissed her nose. “Now, come on. Let’s get inside.”

Spencer helped her navigate up the walkway and the three flights of stairs. Rather than rummage drunkenly through her purse, she passed it off and allowed him to retrieve her keys and unlock the door.

He supervised and provided balance support as she haphazardly swiped a makeup wipe over her face and fumbled into her pajamas. Finally he got her settled into bed with a bottle of water on the bedside table.

He pulled up the covers around her. “I’m going to go to the bathroom,” he murmured.

This was the moment that he’d realize what an absolute fool she was. He’d finally be alone in the bathroom, and it would become abundantly clear that she couldn’t drink responsibly, that she was boring, that she was obnoxious. She was sure of it, and her heart was fracturing into a thousand tiny pieces.

Spencer’s nervous laugh broke through her haze of insecurity. “Whoa, I thought we were done crying?” he joked. “Honey, c’mere.” Spencer pulled her up into his arms, rubbing a hand over her back.

She hadn’t realized she was making any noise until the sound vibrated against where Spencer had tucked her into his shoulder. As if she hadn’t been foolish enough tonight, now she was blubbering into his nice cardigan. Despite herself, she clung to him like he’d disappear like smoke between her fingers.

“I’m— I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed; it’s not funny,” he apologized. “Shhh, sweetheart . It— it’s okay, it’s okay .”

“I don’t want you to go.” Her voice was full of tears and cracked pathetically at the end.

“Okay, okay,” he agreed, a tinge of confusion in his voice. “I’m— the bathroom can wait, I suppose.”

That only made her cry harder, which poor Spencer responded to with even more aggressive soothing. He stroked over her hair and hugged her tight, shushing her and rocking her a little bit back and forth.

He was just so sweet . Kind and thoughtful and considerate— three things she hadn’t experienced from a significant other in a very long time. And it was exhausting waiting for the shift— for the moment that he realized she wasn’t worth the hassle. She was so tired of anticipating the end.

“I don’t want you to leave.” She hated how ridiculous she sounded, gasping and hiccuping.

Spencer froze for a full second and then squeezed her impossibly tighter. “I’m not. Baby, I’m not. I am right here.” He stroked a firm hand up and down her spine. “I need you to take some deep breaths with me. I’m gonna do it, too, okay?”

He led her in a series of deep inhalations and long exhales to the rhythm of his palm on her back. He murmured quietly to her, reassurances and promises and love. As her breathing came closer to normal, he pressed a soft kiss into her hair.

“I love you, Y/N. You know that, right? I wouldn’t change one single thing about you.” His hand on her back slowed to a stop, and she could practically hear him considering his next move. “I’m pretty sure Billy Joel wrote a song about it, actually. I love you just the way you are. ”

She couldn’t stop the laugh from bubbling up in her throat at the tone deaf melody, and she felt him smile against her hair. “Okay?”

She wasn’t okay, but that wasn’t his fault. She sighed and sniffed. “Okay, off brand Billy Joel.”

“That’s not very nice,” he chuckled, pulling back to swipe his fingers over her damp cheeks.

“Yes, it is,” she insisted. “I love off brand. Just as good as the real thing, and with some fun quirks.”

“Somehow I don’t think he’d appreciate the comparison.” He smiled softly at her, and then his expression melted into something a little more serious. “But I mean it. There is no place I’d rather be, and no one else that I wanna be with. When I say that I love you the most, I mean that I love you more than I have ever loved anybody. Ever.”

He looked at her so earnestly that she wanted to cry all over again. How was he so wonderful, and gentle, and loving, and perfect ? He’d promised to do better on a chilly night in January and then spent every single day since then doing exactly that.

“But I actually do have to pee,” he admitted sheepishly. “Are you going to be okay here for a few minutes?”

He was speaking to her as he would a child, and she was utterly mortified. She waved her hand. “ God , I’m bein’ so annoying.”

“No, you’re not. You’re a little drunk. And a lot adorable.” He tapped gently on her nose. “But you’re also kind of sad, and I don’t want you to be sad.” He propped the pillow up behind her. “It’ll be the fastest pee ever— four minutes, tops. Most of it will be hand washing. Okay?"

“Okay,” she smiled, and she really meant it.

He hopped up and trotted to the bedroom door. “See you in four minutes. Have some water while you wait.”

She followed instructions, sipping carefully from the bottle he’d left for her. She also rummaged through the bedside drawer for the Advil, popping two and washing them down with another swig of water.

Spencer returned to the bedroom with his cardigan and pants already discarded. He quickly slipped out of his button up and into his pajamas before sliding in beside her and holding out his arms. “All right, c’mere.”

“Hmm?” she hummed.

“I’m demanding snuggles,” he clarified. “That’s the price you pay for my chauffeur and caretaker services.”

Another smile slowly turned up the corners of her mouth, and he returned it, pulling her against his side. “There she is.”

She allowed herself to settle and melt into his warmth, the soft fabric of his t-shirt under her cheek and his fingers brushing lightly over her arm. She willed herself to stop waiting for the shift. She begged herself to stop looking for the end.

Maybe this time there wouldn’t be an end. Maybe she could have an infinite middle with Spencer Reid. Maybe she had earned that.

———

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