#these are actually relatively attractive cats

[distorted-twink]

Images of what this cat looks like in my head

Terzo has a cat. He loves her dearly, more than anything.

But this is the ugliest cat you've ever seen. I'm talking full on fugly.

I'm imagining a really fucked up Sphinx or one of those, "ma there's s weird fucking cat outside" cats.

He calls her his beautiful baby princess and thinks she's the most beautiful thing Satan has ever gifted him. His brothers make fun of him for it of course. Because this cat is hideous.

[spencerswh0re]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

A/N - HI!! i love love love spencer reid and i spend most of my time reading fanfics of him, so i thought i would give writing some of my own a shot! this is my first fic (recently, i used to write wattpad fics when i was like 12) so bear with me :))

word count - 1,482

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬, 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ��𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐀𝐔, 𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

spencers life had been hard. there was no point in sugar coating it, he’d been through a lot. being kidnapped, developing a drug addiction, his girlfriend being killed directly in front of him and being to prison were only a handful of the things that had gone wrong in his life. and even after all of this trauma, he still managed to stay the same person. or atleast, mostly the same person.

one big thing had changed after prison and his encounters with cat adams. spencer had always been a hopeless romantic, he dreamed of the day he would meet a nice woman, settle down with her, and live out the life he had always wanted. but after dealing with some confusing feelings for a hitman, he had started to lose hope in ever finding love.

spencer was a 39 year old man, and he had still not found his perfect woman, he was starting to think she didn’t exist.

this was why he gave up. he stopped dating, stopped blushing and stammering whenever he met an attractive woman, and instead, he became charming. it became a common occurrence for spencer reid to spend his evenings in the bar, wooing a woman back to bed with him. he would bid them farewell the next morning, and that would be that. and it worked, it kept him satisfied, for a while.

until it didn’t.

the day you walked into the bullpen of the BAU, things changed for spencer reid.

you were beautiful, easily the prettiest girl he had ever seen, you were young, and had this innocence about you, he knew, from the very beginning, that he wanted you.

it was barely a week after you started on the team when spencer realised why he was so attracted to you.

the team was on the jet home from your first case, it had been a relatively easy one, they had caught the unsub in 2 days, and saved his final victim.

“we shouldn’t even be flying in these conditions” rossi had complained, referring to the heavy rain and strong winds “what if we get struck by lightning?”

just as spencer was about to spit out a random fact about flying during lightning, you beat him to it.

“actually, aircraft’s are designed to deal with lightning strikes, modern planes are designed to spread electric currents through the fuselage and funnel them out through the tail, bypassing the plane interior entirely. the last major accident occurred in 1967, when a stray strike caused a poorly-designed plane’s fuel tank to explode, so even if we were to be struck, which is highly unlikely, we’d be perfectly fine” you had rushed it out quickly, and spencer could tell from your blushing cheeks and shy smile that you were embarrassed over your rambling.

“sorry” you said, quietly, looking down at your hands in your lap.

“hey, reid, it seems y/l/n is a mini version of you, maybe we’ll have to replace you” emily had said, laughing lightheartedly. spencer, however, was stuck in place, eyes locked on you. he couldn’t believe it, he had found out earlier in the week that you were 24, just out of the academy, but you had been put straight into a specialised unit based off of your impressive qualifications. he realised, in that moment, that he didn’t just want you in the way he wants other women, he wanted you for real, he was falling for you.

the plane ride went painfully slowly after that.

a few months later, nothing had changed, except for the fact you had made it more and more difficult for him to keep away from you. ever morning, you would walk straight over to his desk, wishing him a cheery "good morning!" before perching yourself down next to his files and asking him about his night.

he had never been one to talk to his co workers about his sex life, but sometimes he would make an exception, because at least he had stories to be telling, but recently, there hadn't been anything to tell.

the night that they got back from your very first case, the team had gone to the bar to celebrate, after everybody had left, he made his was to the bar for one final drink, and to choose his target for the night, however, his plans had been ruined, when he'd seen you, across the bar, talking to some guy. spencer held back a scoff, he was obviously an asshole, he was tall (yet, not quite as tall as him) and buff. you were clearly feeling uncomfortable, and he knew that you had had one too many, and you weren't in the right state of mind. he walked over, told you it was time to go home, and got you in his car.

you were asleep before he could ask for your address.

after fighting with himself a little, he eventually decided to take you back to his place, you took the bed, he took the couch.

after that night, he hadn't been able to be with anybody else, he hadn't wanted to be with anybody else.

"oh, you know, same old, what about you?" he responded.

"nothing much really, um.. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.." you told him

shit. now he was scared, had he done something to make you upset? had he made his feelings for you too clear and made you uncomfortable? had he-

"I uh- I noticed your spock pop figure on your desk, i've got the entire Star Trek box set at home... I was wondering if you might wanna come over? we can get something to eat, maybe get to know each other better?"

he didn't know what to say, this was y/n y/l/n, the girl he had been pining over for months, and she was asking him out? of course he wanted to say yes, that much was obvious, but he hadn't been in a real relationship since maeve, and even that didn't really count.

you were young, and so innocent, he was tainted, his hands were dirty, his mind haunted by the things he had done in prison, he didn't want to corrupt you.

you obviously took his silence as a no, and quickly jumped back in.

"if not that's totally fine too! I just thought it might be fun"

and just as he was about to politely reject you, he looked into your eyes.

innocent, yes. but there was something else, something that reminded him an awful lot of a feeling he had never truly felt. love. he knew then what he had to do.

"that sounds like fun, y/n, ill come over tonight at 6:00?" he responded with a smile.

"yes! yes! my address is 16 cornelia street, apartment 17."

"excellent, ill be there" he said

and he was.

at 5:57, he was waiting outside of your door, holding a bunch of flowers, and wearing an outfit he had spent far to long picking out. he knew it was a casual thing, and he knew you would just be staying home, so he decided to wear something he had never worn before. sweatpants. he had gone to the store to buy them immediately after work. along with a baggy Star Trek t shirt.

when he finally gathered up the courage to knock, you answered almost immediately, and he was speechless.

you looked beautiful, you were wearing a pair of white sweatpants along with a tight grey vest top, your hair was down, and you were wearing an adorable pair of bunny slippers.

when he finally snapped out of his trance, he stuck the flowers out in your direction with a quiet "these are for you"

your response came quickly, and with a smile "they're beautiful, spencer, thank you. I ordered chinese food, i hope that's alright" you said as you walked into the kitchen to find a vase.

not as beautiful as you. he wanted to say, but he settled for a shy nod and a smile instead.

after dinner, the two of you took a seat of your couch and began watching the first movie.

he wasn't satisfied.

he moved a little bit closer.

still wasnt enough.

he considered pulling out the cringey yawning trick, but decided against it, instead, deciding to touch your pinky with his own.

still, not quite enough.

towards the end of the first movie, you mored close enough so that you could put your had on his chest.

"is this okay?" you whispered, so quiet he could hardly hear you over the TV.

"more than okay" he whispered back, putting his arm around your shoulders to keep to close.

he realised, right there in that moment, that he was done with the girls, and the bars, this, right here, with you in his arms, was exactly where he was supposed to be.

A/N - OKAY!! the ending was slightly rushed, I'm sorry, but I'm very very tired and I have class tomorrow, but I wanted to get this done. if you liked it, let me know, send me requests if you want <3

[foone]

Speaking of the zeldas: of the Zelda game, I'm a bit unsure of the cat(as in girl)suit power up.

Because on the one hand:

Nintendo? You put an equipment item in your First Zelda-Lead Adventure that puts her into a catgirl costume?

It just feels a bit like... Nintendo, have you at least heard of gender stereotypes in storytelling?

Because I'm not saying you're wrong, necessarily! Maybe it's an innocuous choice amongst many other costumes, or there's some cultural differences, or whatever. It just seems to be the kind of thing that you'd at least consider, before you put this in your game.

Especially because this is your First Zelda Adventure #feminism.

But on the other hand, see:

The game's art style is so cartoony that it comes across as more "adorable!" than "sexy!", I think*.

But it's Really Adorable. Cute as hell, it looks almost like claymation**, I love it.

On another finger of that second hand:

I demand equality. Hashtag Put Link In The Cat Suit Too 2024.

On a second additional finger of that second hand:

Actually Nintendo you know what? Fuck you. I am a Reverse Engineer and Game Hacker when not a somewhat stoned letsplay watcher, I'll do it my self. You build this game on the same engine as Zelda: Links Awakening (2019)? I'll extract the models out of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom and inject them back into Zelda: Links Awakening (2019)!

Bam. Link in the catsuit! The world is better place.

On another finger of that first hand, that is, the post has gone non-linear oh god:

Does it make it worst that it's explicitly a costume? As in, this is clothes that Zelda is magically quick-changing into. Zelda, the Hylian woman, has changed out of her Ninja Cloak into "Sexy Catgirl Costume Like What You Buy From Halloween Store".

She's not, for example, just turning into a different species. Which is something that's been one of the primary gimmicks of least... Two? Three? previous Legend of Zelda games!

Although reconsidering in light of footnote one, it's it's possible that they DID just mean it to be sexy, but most other people might have Opinions about the relative sexinesses of "woman in catgirl suit" versus "catgirl, as in member of species: catgirl"***. So I am maybe off base?

* I am admittedly possibly a very Spiders Georg in the area of "sexual attraction".

** someone please do this in some future game: take the style of this Zelda subseries and make it like, 25% more claymationyier. That wouldn't be to hard to do with some minor graphical design differences and shaders, and it would make these admittedly already pretty adorable games even more adorable!

*** This is presumably a continuum with "no costume but acting like a cat" further back on the "woman in catgirl suit" point, and it then continuing on past "species catgirl" to "catgirl (furry)" and "cat girl (cartoonish bipedal cat)" to "quite realistic to nature cat (who is incidentally a girl)". I mean hypothetically you could find a point that could be MORE CATS THAN ACTUAL CATS THEMSELVES ARE... But I'm not getting laid**** enough to engage in that kind of advanced recreational furryism.

**** holy typoing fuck I meant PAID! I'm not getting PAID ENOUGH! I'm dying.

[zinnie-zoloft]

I don’t ship catwin, in fact I actually dislike the ship, but I will not stand for people making ridiculous excuses to hate it.

The cat king isn’t a creep, sleazy maybe, annoying, sure, but everything he does is in response to how Edwin acts around him. Like… Edwin is very clearly physically attracted to him, even if he dislikes him as a person at that point.

The only time he does anything non-consensual is when he kisses Monty, and that’s direct retaliation for Monty doing the same thing to Edwin. He follows an eye-for-an-eye style justice system, like how he punishes Edwin by using the same kind of spell on him that Edwin used on one of his cats.

And yes, Edwin is 16, but we have no idea what age the cat king actually is or even how he ages, there could be any number of technicalities and relativities. Just look at Monty, he’s somehow a teenager and there’s nothing to say the cat king isn’t also following some confusing ass magical age rules.

[x0x0josephinex0x0]

silly goose | kwon soonyoung

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii we're back baby. genre is: crack. fake dating sort of. friends to ??? basically in love i guess. everyone is an idiot and it's awesome. warnings: reader is implied to be female, wears a dress, does hair and makeup, reader is briefly followed in a menacing kind of way, soonyoung is literally the most dumbest man ever but in the BEST way, reader's friends are quite honestly the actual worst, there is a rather frightening animal encounter that's mostly just funny but could be triggering if you're afraid of birds, lmk if there's anything else i forgot!!! word count: 8.3k

If one was to look up the definition of disappointment, you’re almost positive they’d see a picture of your mom’s face if she ever found out you were in this situation. You’re disappointed in yourself. It was never your plan to be in a loud, crowded club, smushed up against the bar by two large bikers who are bouncing up and down to the beat of the music so that the spikes on the back of the taller one’s jacket get dangerously close to your eyeball. And yet, here you are.

You desperately search the room for the group of very tipsy women you came here with, but they’re nowhere to be found. Scowling, you start to inch out from behind the bikers into a slightly more open space, but even with your improved vantage point, you don’t see them. You curse. Did they really leave you here?

It’s hard for you to understand why you were even invited to this bachelorette party. The bride is your childhood best friend, but you’ve been out of touch for years. Your lives went in completely different directions after high school, clearly evidenced by the predicament in which you currently find yourself. Where you had never been the life of the party, she seemed to have no life without a party. You found yourself wishing for the thousandth time you could be at home with your books and your remote and your cat.

You decide there’s nothing for it and head outside to try and call your friend. She picks up on the third ring, and her voice is slurred and barely distinguishable over the cacophony of sound in the background of the call. You think she’s saying that they’re taking a bus to a bar across town -- about an hour away from where you are now. To get there, you’d have to call a cab and pay almost $100, or you could walk to your apartment, which is three blocks from here. “I’m going to go home,” you tell her, and she laughs and agrees and hangs up.

You grimace at your phone screen and shiver slightly. It’s a chilly night, and you didn’t bring a jacket, so you decide it’s best if you start walking. The way home is well-lit and relatively crime free, so you aren’t nervous as you set off from the club. 

That is, until you notice someone is tailing you. He’s a taller man, with scruffy facial hair and red-rimmed eyes that scare you. As you glance over your shoulder, he calls after you. “Where are you headed?” he asks.

“Going to meet my boyfriend,” you claim, desperately trying to shake him off. He seems to be picking up speed, slowly gaining on you as you walk, and as you round a corner you see a group of three well-dressed men standing in front of the movie theater just ahead. “That’s him right there,” you say, pointing at them, and the man trailing after you only picks up his speed, so you make the risky choice to jog toward them and grab ahold of the nearest man’s arm. He has his back toward you, but as you wrap your hand around his bicep, he turns to look at you.

Oh, wow, you think. Because you couldn’t have chosen a hotter man to pretend to be your boyfriend -- unless, of course, you were to have chosen either of his friends. It was strange to be surrounded by so many extremely attractive men, almost like interrupting a model meetup. But you quickly recover, smiling at the man whose arm you grabbed and saying, “Hi, honey.”

You try to communicate with your eyes, and though the man at first looks confused, he glances over your head and sees the man who’d been following you and his eyes light with understanding. “Hello, muffin!” he shouts far too loudly. 

You wince. Muffin? you think to yourself. But still, you can’t help but be amused as he puts an arm around you and sends an angry look at the man. “This is my girlfriend,” he yells at him.

“You’re being way too obvious, dude,” one of your fake boyfriend’s friends hisses at him. 

“I call BS,” the stalker says, to your horror and surprise. “What’s her name?”

“Mildred,” your fake boyfriend says with no hesitation. 

You try not to let the shock of this answer register on your face. 

The stalker hesitates. “Is he really your boyfriend, Mildred?”

You bite your lip to keep from laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. “Uh, yep.”

“Oh, okay then,” the stalker says. The three of you stare at each other for awhile before he turns around and leaves. 

“I cannot believe that worked,” one of your fake boyfriend’s friends says, smacking his forehead. 

“Remind me never to call you in a crisis,” the other one says, chuckling.

“What do you mean?” your fake boyfriend says indignantly. He looks at you, as though wanting your opinion, his arms still around you. “I feel like we nailed that.”

You can’t help but smile at him. He really is unfairly pretty, with perfectly tousled black hair, an artful slit in one eyebrow, and a smile that has you wondering if maybe you do believe in love at first sight. “Thanks for helping me out,” you say, so you don’t have to lie and agree that he nailed it. “Do I really look like a Mildred, though?”

“Mildred is a lovely name,” he says matter-of-factly. “And you are lovely.”

You laugh, feeling a little hot around the collar. “And what’s your name?” you ask him, holding out your hand for him to shake.

He takes it and shakes it with a warm smile. “I’m Soonyoung,” he says. He releases you from his grip with a small shake, as though reminding himself to do it. As if he’d gotten lost in you for a second.

“Soonyoung,” you repeat. “And your friends?”

“Seungkwan,” the shorter of the two others says.

“Seokmin,” the taller one replies. 

“Soonyoung, Seungkwan, Seokmin,” you chant. “Well, thanks so much for your help, guys. I need to get home to my cat.”

“By yourself?” Seokmin says in a worried tone.

“In the dark?” Seungkwan follows, equally worried.

“Without a jacket?” Soonyoung says, his brow furrowed in concern.

“Well...” you say. “It’s not very far.”

“How far?” Seungkwan asks.

You hesitate. “How do I know you’re not serial killers?”

They all blink at you. “Us?” Seokmin asks.

“We’re idiots,” Soonyoung says sincerely. 

They all nod in agreement. “Seriously. If we were serial killers, we’d be caught in no time,” Seungkwan says.

“Let us walk you home,” Soonyoung insists. “I want to meet your cat.”

You’re still a bit nervous, but they keep a respectful distance as they walk you down the next two and a half blocks to your apartment building. You quickly realize that they weren’t lying. 

They are actually idiots.

The entire fifteen minute walk, Seungkwan and Seokmin are arguing about whether or not tomatoes are a fruit, culminating in Soonyoung opining that if tomatoes are a fruit, ketchup is a smoothie. The other two are (understandably) outraged by this, leaving you comforted that you actually could probably take all three of them in a fight at once, seeing as how they all seem to share one single brain cell. 

There’s something so endearing about their banter, though. So much so that when you finally arrive at the apartment, you find yourself asking if they want to come in for a minute and escape the chilly weather.

“Are you sure?” Seokmin asks.

“Positive. I have some instant ramen we could make, too. Just to warm you up. As a thank you for getting me home safe.”

They look at each other and then nod. “We’d love to,” Seungkwan says. 

So you lead them up to your door on the third floor. “Your apartment is so cute!” Soonyoung exclaims, admiring the pretty crocheted decorations that line your walls. “I love these.”

“Thanks,” you say. “I made them.”

He looks at you in awe. “You did? That’s so cool!”

“I’m glad you think so,” you say with a smile. 

“What do you do for work?” Soonyoung asks you.

“I’m a social worker,” you tell him. “I work with families in tough situations. Help them get their feet under them.”

“Do you work for the government, then?” asks Seungkwan.

“Make yourself at home,” you tell the three of them, who are standing awkwardly in the entry. As they settle onto the couch, you explain, “I actually work for a subcontractor of the government. We’re a nonprofit. On weekends, we also do a soup kitchen, and help run food banks throughout the county.”

“That must be very fulfilling work,” Seokmin points out. “Do you like it? I hear it can be tiring.”

“It’s good, but I don’t get paid enough,” you admit. “And before you ask, I do have a roommate. She’s just in the hospital. Appendicitis.”

They all wince, and Seungkwan hums sympathetically. You head to your pantry and rummage around looking for the instant ramen, finally locating it and putting a pan on the stove with water. Meanwhile, the guys find your box full of games and pull out the Monopoly. “We should play this!” Seokmin says. 

Seungkwan laughs. “We just met her, and you already want to ruin our friendship?”

Soonyoung pulls out a deck of cards. “How about Scum?”

The three of them set up the game while you make the ramen, and by the time you’re all served up all the cards have been dealt. You watch them over your own bowl of ramen, amused at the gusto with which they eat and heartwarmed by their compliments. You’re generally a bit of an introvert, but even you have been lonely the past few days with your roommate gone, and the unexpected company is warm, inviting, and friendly.

Until Scum begins. Unbeknownst to you, this group of three is the most cutthroat, merciless group of players who have ever lived. Their competition knows no bounds, and they seem determined to destroy each other, by whatever means necessary. “Don’t worry,” Seokmin whispers conspiratorially to you while Soonyoung and Seungkwan argue tooth-and-nail about a minor rule of the game. “They’re always like this, but they really do love each other.”

It takes all of them by surprise when you are the first to get rid of your cards, guaranteeing you the “king” spot. “That came out of nowhere!” complains Seungkwan.

You shrug. “I’m good with strategy games. Never challenge me to a game of Settlers of Catan,” you joke. 

Just then, your cat pokes his head around the corner and mewls reproachfully at all the noise you’re making. “Hi!” Soonyoung says excitedly, quickly dropping his cards to head over to the cat, making little cooing noises at him as he strokes his soft orange fur. “What’s its name?”

“He’s a he,” you tell him. “And his name is Tiger.”

The three men all freeze and look at you. “What?” you ask, looking around at them in worry.

“No way,” Soonyoung breathes.

Seungkwan groans. “You’ve really done it now.”

“What did I do?” you ask, bewildered.

“That’s like, the forbidden word,” Seokmin says, his tone apologetic.

Your eyes land on Soonyoung, whose entire face has lit up. “I love tigers,” he says, looking on the verge of tears.

“Love is an understatement,” Seungkwan says. “He is about to ask for your hand in marriage.”

“Will you marry me?” Soonyoung asks immediately afterward, making you laugh. His hands are still gently cupping Tiger’s face, his thumbs rubbing the cat’s fur back tenderly.

“I barely know you, Soonyoung,” you remind him. “You’ll have to pretend to be my boyfriend a couple more times before I’ll agree to marriage.”

“Bet,” Soonyoung says. “This cat needs a father. There’s nothing sadder than a fatherless cat.”

You privately disagreed, but it makes you laugh again all the same. “When am I ever going to need you to pretend to be my boyfriend?”

Soonyoung tsks. “I’m sure we could think of something.”

But almost as soon as you’d asked the question, you remembered: the wedding.

Your friend’s wedding -- the one who’d abandoned you tonight. And the one who, against your wishes, had invited your horrible ex-boyfriend. You’d had a plus-one — your roommate, who you’d enlisted to make the entire event endurable. But last-minute, her sister had needed help babysitting her daughter while she went to a divorce hearing on the day of the wedding. The wedding was in two weeks, and you didn’t have a backup date. 

Soonyoung watches in satisfaction as your face falls. “Tell me,” he says. “How can I be of service?”

“Well…you can say no,” you preface, and he chuckles. “But...” 

You launch into the story of the night. Soonyoung, Seungkwan, and Seokmin listen well throughout it, making noises of exasperation and annoyance as you explain why you’d had to interrupt their evening by pretending to be Soonyoung’s girlfriend. “They really left you there?” Soonyoung asks, frowning. He seems to tire of crouching by Tiger, so he sits crosslegged on the ground. You watch carefully as Tiger gingerly climbs into Soonyoung’s lap -- something it took him almost a year to do with you. Tiger is an affectionate and social cat, but he does take some time to warm up, usually. But something about Soonyoung seems to have put him at ease. Soonyoung doesn’t even seem to notice, absently massaging his fingers into Tiger’s neck fur.

“They really did,” you finally reply, oddly touched by the sight of Soonyoung with your cat.

“You need better friends,” Seungkwan says indignantly.

You give him a weak smile. “You’re probably right about that. But I already said I’d go, and they’ve planned for me. So it’d be bad to back out now.” You sigh. “It would be so nice to have someone to go with who’s friendly. And you can totally say no if that’s too much awkwardness to put up with for an evening.”

“Well, I have no problems with going if it means I get to spend more time with your cat in between now and then,” Soonyoung says, tickling Tiger’s stomach and giggling as Tiger swats at his fingers.

“You can always come see my cat whenever you want,” you promise him. “Even if you say no.”

“Really?” he asks, sounding thrilled. “I mean, I’m saying yes, though.”

You let out a deep breath. “Thank you so much. You’re such a lifesaver.”

“I know. Imagine the poor decisions this cat would’ve made if I hadn’t decided to be his dad.”

“I resent the implication that I am a horrible mother who can’t raise a cat to be a good citizen who makes positive contributions to society.”

“Yeah, you psycho, respect this single mother!” Seungkwan says, smacking Soonyoung’s arm.

“Well, you’re partially right,” you admit with a laugh. “Tiger is a war criminal with warrants in 32 countries.”

Soonyoung laughs as well. “See! Fatherless behavior.”

“Plenty of cats grow up to be respectable without fathers,” you say indignantly. “Just not Tiger. He’s possessed of a devil.”

The four of you all have a good laugh about this, while Tiger chirps indignantly at the sudden sound, clambering out of Soonyoung’s lap and darting down the hallway. “Traitor!” Soonyoung calls after him, heading back to the card table to finish playing. 

By the time the trio bows themselves out of your apartment, you feel warm and sleepy. It’s been a long time since you’ve had people over to your house and enjoyed it — you had forgotten how nice it was.

******

“Hey there,” you greet your friend Ginger, who waves at you from her hospital bed. 

“Hi,” she says back. “How was the bachelorette party?”

“A complete disaster, as predicted,” you tell her, pulling up a chair next to her bed. “When are you coming home?”

“Tonight, if things go well,” she informs you. “But you said you had something to tell me. Is it good or bad?”

“It’s good,” you say with a shy smile.

“How good?” she asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Like, weird-good.”

“Explain.”

“I found a date for tomorrow.”

Her eyes go wide. “You caught someone’s eye? During the bachelorette party?”

“No, after. Well, actually, the guy whose eye I caught was a total creep. But then I forced a different dude to be my fake boyfriend to shake off the first dude, and he agreed to be my date to the wedding.”

“Is he gonna pretend to be your boyfriend there too?” she asks, a suggestive edge to her voice.

“I don’t think so. I mean, we just talked about him coming with me so I wouldn’t have to go alone.”

“How did that even come up?” she asks you.

“Well, they kind of walked me home...”

“They?”

“There were three of them initially,” you explain apologetically.

“You let three random strangers walk you home?”

“Well, they openly admitted to being idiots when I asked if they were serial killers, so I thought it was probably safe.”

“You’re an idiot,” Ginger says dryly.

“Anyway, Soonyoung -- the one who’s gonna be my date -- wanted to meet Tiger. Because he loves tigers. And then it kind of devolved into playing Scum, and then Soonyoung claimed that if he just spent more time with Tiger he’d stop committing dastardly crimes every chance he gets. And then he asked if I’d need a fake boyfriend so that he could help me raise my cat right, and it was this whole thing, and now that I’m telling you the story it sounds really dumb but it was kind of sweet.”

Ginger is staring at you with raised eyebrows during this whole account. When you finally clam up, she sighs. “So, I hate to be the person to have to tell you this, but Soonyoung is actually in love with you.”

“What?” you gasp. “Why do you think that?”

“He is using your cat to get closer to you because he’s too scared to really ask you out because he really likes you.”

“I’m not sure that’s true. You should’ve seen his face when he heard the cat was named Tiger.”

Ginger rolls her eyes. “Girl, I know more about men than I care to admit. This is textbook crush behavior.” She grunts as she adjusts her position. “And I think you like him back, too.”

“I barely know him,” you protest, heat rising in your cheeks.

“Is he hot?” she asks shrewdly.

“Yes,” you answer, without hesitation or even a single iota of forethought. You cringe at your own obviousness, and Ginger laughs.

“It’s okay,” she reassures. “But how hot?”

You consider for a while before answering. “It’s hard to describe,” you complain, feeling more and more uncomfortable the longer it takes. “He’s...pretty.”

“A pretty boy?” Ginger repeats.

“No, like, he doesn’t look dainty -- but he’s not rugged or anything. But he doesn’t exactly look soft either. But he’s not quite all the way to edgy.” You realize you’re rambling once you catch sight of Ginger’s face.

Ginger shakes her head. “You’re a goner,” she sighs.

Conveniently, your phone starts buzzing before you can respond -- not that you really had a response anyway. It’s an unknown number, but you decide to answer it. “Hello?” you say. 

“Hi,” a familiar voice chirps on the other end. Your eyes go wide, and you mouth “Soonyoung” to Ginger, who is observing curiously.

“Hi!!!” you respond back, and then wince -- you were a little too eager, and Ginger makes a face at you too. You resolve to be much cooler going forward, and take a deep breath to steady yourself.

“Hi,” he says again, this time sounding amused. “What’s up?”

“Hi. Um, nothing much,” you reply. “What’s up with you?” Wow, what a zinger! you think to yourself. Why did you choose this moment to become an awkward fumbling mess?

“Well, I’m near your apartment, and I was wondering if you were home. I missed Tiger, you see.”

“Ah,” you say. “Well, um, I’m actually...out right now?” Your voice raises a few notes too high at the end of your phrase, and Ginger is pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation, trying to fight back a laugh.

“Ah, that’s bad luck. Where are you?” Soonyoung asks.

“I’m just visiting my roommate in the hospital,” you say, confused as Ginger frantically shakes her head and makes an X with her hands. 

“Tell him you were just leaving and you’ll be there soon,” she hisses, pushing you with her foot off of her hospital bed. 

“Oh, how is she doing?” Soonyoung asks. “Is she feeling better?”

“She’s absolutely fine,” you grunt, trying to fend off Ginger’s attacks and failing, slumping off the bed onto the floor. “I was actually on my way home, though. Do you have time to wait?” You stand and snatch your bag from off the small table in the room and stick your tongue out at Ginger, who blows you a kiss and waves enthusiastically as you leave.

“Yes,” Soonyoung responds immediately. “Actually, are you hungry? I brought some chicken.”

“I’m actually starving,” you answer honestly. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

True to your word, you sprint all the way out of the hospital and almost all the way home, stopping around the corner to your place to try and catch your breath and look cool when you see Soonyoung. Ginger’s words bounce around your brain in a disconcerting way, and you feel like you’re sweaty and flustered in a way that no amount of time stalling could really fix. So you decide to just bite the bullet and turn the corner. 

You can see Soonyoung waiting at the door to your apartment building. When he catches sight of you, his whole face lights up in a smile. And oh, what a smile it is. You have to physically restrain yourself from squealing at how obscenely adorable he is -- his eyes softening into crescents, his cheeks going all round and his nose scrunching just slightly. You can’t help but smile back as you finally reach him. “Hey,” you say, going for a breezy, cool vibe and missing the mark embarrassingly.

“Hi,” Soonyoung says, and to your comfort, he sounds just as eager as you did on the phone. “Um, how was the walk?”

“It was great! Super chill, super lowkey,” you lie through your teeth, thinking about how you had sprinted in a very not-chill, not-lowkey way to come see him. 

“That’s good!” he exclaims back.

“What were you doing near my house?” you ask, leading him toward the door.

“Oh, well, actually, I had to go visit this restaurant my friend works at,” he says, stuttering a little. “And he actually made extra chicken, so I thought -- well, and I knew you lived close by, so I thought it would be fun if we...I don’t know, got to know each other before the wedding?” He shrugs cutely. 

“You can just say you wanted to see my cat,” you tease, pressing the elevator button.

“I did, on the phone,” he reminds you.

“Oh,” you say.

“Oh,” he replies.

The two of you stare at each other for a minute.

Then, Soonyoung says, “Why are we so awkward?”

He doesn’t sound worried -- he even has a laugh in his voice. And for some reason, the easiness with which he addresses the strange tension in the air seems to dissipate it a bit. 

“I’m sorry,” you say with a laugh. “I’m not very good with surprises. I never know how to react. But I’m very glad you’re here.” Finally, the sincerity of the words shines through, and though you normally would’ve been embarrassed at the admission, you aren’t.

He smiles that brilliant smile yet again, and your heart does a little happy-dance in your chest. “Me too,” he replies fervently. 

“What do you do for work?” you ask him as the two of you board the elevator. “I never asked, before.”

“Oh, that. I’m actually a kindergarten teacher,” he tells you.

You are gobsmacked at this information. “You don’t look like a teacher,” you tell him.

“Oh yeah? What do I look like?” he asks, striking a ridiculous pose. 

You giggle. “A rockstar, maybe. Or a band manager.”

“Thank you, I think,” Soonyoung says.

“You’re welcome,” you say with emphasis. “It was a compliment.”

The two of you chat aimlessly all the way into your apartment, where Soonyoung immediately starts calling for Tiger. “Your daddy’s home,” he bellows into the empty apartment. “Where are you, son?”

You absolutely know the neighbors must have heard him, but your brief embarrassment is soothed when Tiger comes tearing around the corner, coming to a screeching halt at Soonyoung’s feet. “He never does that,” you say, in awe of this overt affection from your normally skittish-around-strangers cat. 

“He knows who I am,” Soonyoung says, bending down to pick up Tiger and cradle him in his arms like a baby. “My son,” he coos, tickling his belly and laughing when Tiger bats at his fingers with his paws.

You catch yourself before Soonyoung can tear his attention away from Tiger, knowing you were probably staring at them with heart-eyes. Shaking yourself, you open the box of chicken Soonyoung left on the counter. “Do you mind? I actually haven’t eaten today.”

Soonyoung’s gaze snaps to you. “It’s like four in the afternoon!” he exclaims indignantly. “What do you mean, you haven’t eaten today?”

“Well, I woke up kind of late, and then I was running around doing important errands, and then I had to go see my friend,” you explain. “I kind of forgot.”

He tsks in annoyance. “Well, you need to take care of yourself too. How am I supposed to co-parent this cat with you if you pass away from malnutrition?”

“You are so dramatic,” you laugh. “This doesn’t happen very often. I promise I’m a regular eater.”

He eyes you suspiciously. “Okay. You’d better be.”

You dig into the chicken while you watch Soonyoung play with Tiger. “Holy cow!” you exclaim. “This is amazing.”

“I’ll tell my friend you said so. You should go to his restaurant, it’s right across the street from you.”

“I definitely will,” you say, taking a seat at the table and patting the chair next to you. “But I think it’s time for your interview.”

“Interview?” he asks.

You nod. “I’m not about to just let the first cat-loving man I come across be Tiger’s father. I need to see if you’re prepared for the role.”

So Soonyoung, giving you a cautious look, comes to sit beside you with Tiger trotting after him. “Okay, what do you want to know?”

“What’s your favorite color?” you ask him.

“That’s hardly a standard interview question,” he protests, laughing. 

“This is hardly a standard interview,” you shoot back. “Now tell me.”

He thinks for a minute. “Black and white.”

“Hmm, interesting,” you muse, but before you can go any further, he raises a hand.

“How about you?” he asks.

“I’m asking the questions!” you say indignantly, and he chuckles.

“Okay, but shouldn’t I know my son’s mother?” He makes a face. “That sounded weird. You know what I meant.”

You stare at him, considering, for awhile before answering. “Orange,” you finally reply. Then, in a teasing tone, you add, “Like a tiger.” 

“You’re joking,” Soonyoung insists, his eyebrows raised and his eyes wide. 

“I’m actually not,” you admit. “And can I confess something else: tigers are easily in my top five favorite animals.”

“Well, anything lower than number one is just bad taste,” Soonyoung claims, grinning.

“Ah, well, I guess we can’t all have entirely correct opinions,” you sigh. “Except you, of course.”

“You’re such a fast learner,” Soonyoung praises.

And on the conversation goes. Usually, when talking to someone as pretty as Soonyoung is, you find yourself tongue-tied and awkward, but talking with Soonyoung is as easy as breathing. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the man seems to have no idea how gorgeous he is -- he doesn’t take himself too seriously, and is incredibly silly in a way most men of his level of attractiveness aren’t willing to be. And he makes you feel smart and interesting, appearing just as fascinated by your answers as you are with his.

Over the course of your conversation, you learn that Soonyoung is close with his mother; he loves all animals; he befriends strangers on public transportation and is a caring and loyal friend to so many people he can hardly keep track of them all. He can’t drink very well, he gets sad late at night, and when you ask him what he’s most proud of, he tells you that he always knows who the killer is in a game of mafia.

Try as you might to discover any red flags that would disqualify Soonyoung as the perfect father for your cat, your interview proves quite the opposite. The less-than-rational wing of your mind-palace is already picking out your wedding colors for the inevitable moment you marry this man. The less feral part of your mind is, surprisingly, cautiously optimistic. For all your reservations about dating, Soonyoung has proven someone you very much enjoy getting to know.

After several hours, the two of you arrive at the first lull in the conversation, when your laughs fade out and you just look at each other, electricity charging the air. Soonyoung breaks the silence. “So, did I get the job?”

You pretend to deliberate for a single second. “Absolutely,” you say, holding out your hand for him to shake.

He throws his arms around you instead. “We’re actually married now, and married people hug,” he explains.

You giggle nervously, despite the growing heat in your face. “I don’t remember you proposing today,” you scold him lightly, still hugging.

“The one from last night is still valid,” he says, breaking apart. “Honey,” he adds as an afterthought.

Just then, your phone rings. You answer it quickly, rushing to your bedroom to take the call. After a few minutes, you return to the kitchen apologetically. “It’s work,” you tell Soonyoung. “A situation came up with a client.”

“Do you need to leave now?” Soonyoung asks, jumping up. “Can I give you a ride?”

You shake your head. “It’s actually an hour drive and I’m not supposed to bring people who aren’t privy to the case. But — well, Tiger usually gets fed around 8 pm, and I don’t think I’ll be back by then. Would you be okay to do that? If not it’s totally fine, I can call my sister-in-law to do it.”

Soonyoung beams. “Of course. Can I wait for you to get home?”

You blink. “Soonyoung, it’ll be at least four hours from now. Probably more. We’re talking past midnight.”

“No school tomorrow,” Soonyoung reminds you, shrugging. “Plus, a group of friends invited me out to drink tonight, and I didn’t really want to go. Now I’ve got an excuse.”

You breathe a sigh of relief. “You are genuinely the best,” you say, going to him and wrapping him up in your arms. “Thanks.”

He seems taken aback by your sudden hug, but responds all the same. “Be safe on your way to work,” he says softly in your ear, raising goosebumps on the back of your neck, and you steal one final look at him before leaving.

******

By the time you get home, it’s nearly one in the morning. As you slump tiredly against the steering wheel of your car before going in, you check your phone and find several missed calls from Ginger. It is only then you remember she was scheduled to come home today, and more than likely did — to Soonyoung. 

You race up to your apartment and open the door. Sure enough, curled up on the couch with Tiger is Soonyoung. He’s fast asleep, his cheek squished against the firm cushion, Tiger keeping vigil at his stomach. Tiger meows reproachfully as you come in, taking quiet steps to Ginger’s room. She’s resting with her back against the headboard, but she opens her eyes at the sound of her door. 

“So, I came home to a man in my house,” she says expectantly. “That was crazy.”

“Yeah. We had a runaway situation that I had to figure out, and Soonyoung stayed to feed Tiger and make sure I got home okay,” you explain softly, not wanting to wake Soonyoung.

“I’m so glad he’s not a serial killer,” Ginger whispers. “He was very attentive. Kept checking on me and asking if I needed anything.”

“He did?” you ask, your heart in your throat. 

“He seems like a tender little guy,” Ginger says, watching you carefully.

“He does,” is your simple reply. You can’t trust yourself to speak without crying.

******

Soonyoung ended up accidentally sleeping over that night. In the morning, the three of you — Soonyoung, Ginger, and yourself — spent a fractionally awkward but mostly pleasant morning breakfasting together before Soonyoung insisted it was time for him to shower. After that day, he dropped by frequently. 

Sometimes he would stay for just twenty minutes, dropping off a book or visiting Tiger. Occasionally he’d bring by an ingredient for a dinner you were making, and you made it a habit to invite him to join on those occasions. The easy conversation between the two of you became an easy friendship, bursting with silliness and laughter and acceptance of each other’s quirks. You felt more and more like your real self around him. Which was crazy, especially given how thoroughly and extremely smitten with him you are.

It had taken you less than a week to realize your feelings. You’d expected to start feeling uncomfortable around Soonyoung, but for some reason, he just made it so clear that he cared about you that you didn’t even worry about if he liked you or not.

You reflect on this as you drive to your friend’s house to get ready before the wedding. You’re nervous about how this whole day will go, but the promise of seeing Soonyoung later makes it all worth it. In fact, just the thought of him being with you seems to calm your nerves and make it easier to face the day. 

You mostly keep to yourself with the bustle of getting ready. The soft pink dresses the bride picked as your bridesmaids’ dresses are not your normal style or color, but you like how the sleek satin fabric looks on you. It pairs well with your minimal hairstyle and makeup. Before you know it, it’s time for you to go get Soonyoung.

When he opens the door, his face breaks into a huge smile. “You look beautiful!” he exclaims, covering his mouth with both hands. 

“You look so handsome!” you reply, looking him up and down. He looks amazing in his black suit, white shirt, and black tie. 

“You’re not supposed to outshine the bride,” Soonyoung says sternly. “I don’t think they’ll let us in.”

“Stop it,” you say, flustered. 

“I’m serious,” Soonyoung insists. 

“Well, if they don’t let us in, I think I’d prefer that,” you say honestly.

“I’m actually excited,” Soonyoung admits. “I think it’ll be fun.”

“Even though my friends are...”

“Kind of awful? Yeah, I’m not worried about it.”

“Why?” you ask.

“Because I’m not planning on paying them any attention at all,” Soonyoung says simply, his eyes fixed on you. And as he helps you into the driver’s seat, you can’t help but smile.

The wedding is a lavish affair. After the complicated wedding ceremony, where you stood at the farthest distance from the bride and had a hard time tearing your eyes away from Soonyoung, who stared at you the whole time, he whisks you away to your dinner table. 

“Did you enjoy the ceremony?” you ask as Soonyoung pulls out your chair for you to sit down. 

“It was quite a view,” he teases lightly as he sits beside you.

You know what he really meant, and you give him a shy half-smile before replying, “It sure is beautiful out here!” You gesture around at the venue, which is gorgeous — a beautiful private property with loads of land, and a gazebo on the banks of a large pond, where the ceremony took place.

Soonyoung scoffs. “Well, yeah, but you seem determined to miss my point.” Nonchalantly, he slips a hand onto your knee, and you have to remind yourself to breathe. “I’m flirting with you.”

“Oh, are you?” you ask, feigning surprise. “I hadn’t noticed.” But in reality, it’s impossible to stop yourself from beaming. 

“Well, we are married,” Soonyoung says, his hand sliding across your knee to find your hand. He tangles his fingers with yours. “I think it comes with the territory.”

“If you say that too loud, you’re going to make people think it’s true,” you joke.

“Let them think that,” he says, his eyes trained on you in a way that makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. You squeeze his hand and look away, slightly panicked.

Your eyes land below the table. “I like your shoes,” you blurt.

Soonyoung looks down at his plain black loafers. “These are like, my least interesting pair of shoes,” he points out with a sly grin.

“Well, you’re an interesting man,” you say, trying to recover but feeling flustered all the same. “What are your most interesting pair of shoes?”

“I’ll give you one guess.”

“The only thing I can count on is that they’re tiger-related,” you reply, grateful for this subject shift.

Soonyoung nods. “Calvin and Hobbes Air Force Ones,” he confirms proudly. “I should’ve worn them.”

“You would have made the bride angry.”

“That makes me want to wear them even more,” Soonyoung grumbles.

“What’s your beef with my friends?” you ask him lightly, absently trailing one of your hands over his arm.

He leans in to almost-whisper the answer. “They left you vulnerable when they should have been taking care of you, and that bothers me.”

You’re taken aback by how serious the usually silly Soonyoung sounds, but before you have a chance to respond, the music starts, heralding the arrival of the new Mr. And Mrs. You take the moment of cheering and applause to breathe deeply and steady your trembling hands. This is Soonyoung, you remind yourself. You don’t need to be nervous around him.

You’ve sufficiently pulled yourself together by the time you have Soonyoung’s attention again. “So, what will you do after the wedding is over?” you ask him, trying to keep the new, flirty side of him locked away.

“That’s an amazing question that I actually was going to ask you. Do you wanna watch a movie?” he asks.

“Well, my place is empty tonight, so that sounds kind of fun,” you admit, not sure you fully succeeded at not flirting. 

“Perfect,” he says. “So, what are you in the mood for? Action? Horror? Romcom?”

“How about…a wholesome sports movie? Those are my favorite genre of movies.”

“Really?” he asks with interest. “This surprises me about you.”

The conversation settles into its normal easy rhythm — all through dinner, you talk and laugh and enjoy each other’s company. When the dancing starts, you allow Soonyoung to pull you into his arms on the dance floor, following his lead in a smooth trot-step. “You’re a good dancer,” you observe.

“I teach kid’s dance classes on the side,” he admits. “It’s my night job.”

“Ah, and here I was, thinking you probably did pole-dancing after hours,” you tease.

“I know you’re not serious, but I am actually extremely flattered you’d assume that,” Soonyoung says. “Pole dancers are strong.”

“So are you,” you point out. 

“How do you know?” he asks.

You swallow hard. “Uh, you — your arms,” you stutter. “They're…really nice.”

Soonyoung (unconsciously?) flexes his bicep under your hand, and your knees nearly buckle. It’s almost pathetic how affected you are by him, especially given that he hasn’t even made a move yet, and you cringe inwardly at yourself.

“Are you okay? You look uncomfortable,” Soonyoung asks. 

“Oh, uh, yeah. I’m fine?” you reassure, but in the least convincing voice ever. 

“Do you need some water?” he asks, concerned.

“Yes, that’d be amazing,” you say, shooing him away and fanning at yourself, your mind full of useless chiding for being so embarrassingly whipped.

A tap on your shoulder startles you from your thoughts. “Hi,” says a familiar voice — and your stomach drops.

It’s your ex boyfriend, the one you’d asked your friend not to invite but to no avail. “Hi,” you say shortly. 

“You look great,” he says, to no reply from you. “The color suits you.”

“Is there something you want?” you ask him, trying to make it clear you don’t want to talk with him about anything.

“Just trying to catch up on what’s happened since, well, you know—“

“Since I caught you cheating?” you finish. “Yeah, life’s been really great since then. Thanks for the trust issues.”

He gives a sheepish little grin. “Yeah, sorry about that,” he says, like he’s a call center employee placating an angry customer. “I got promoted at work.”

You could punch him. You would, if you weren’t at a wedding. Luckily all murderous intent is redirected by a very timely Soonyoung, who arrives on the scene with a confident, “hey, baby!” and a hand outstretched with a glass of water.

“Oh, you came with someone?” your ex says. He sizes up Soonyoung, who is easily bigger than him, and shrugs. “Bad luck. Maybe next time.”

“I was this close to ruining this wedding,” you confess as Soonyoung wraps a protective arm around your waist, watching your ex saunter away. “He started talking about his promotion.”

“Didn’t he cheat on you?” Soonyoung asks, watching him with narrowed eyes.

“Yeah,” you confirm, scowling.

“Well, drink your water, and then we can dance again. You’ll forget all about him.”

This turns out to be true. Dancing with Soonyoung is so much fun -- he seems unusually good at it, and leads you very well, but also doesn’t take things too seriously, letting you spin him or even pretending to do a dip in which he almost falls over. The whole thing is just so ridiculous that you find yourself giggling through it, needing to pause and take a break. Soonyoung suggests that the two of you take a walk down to the lake, and you readily agree. 

He holds your hand during the walk, and you can feel yourself trying to explain away his behavior -- he’s probably just trying to scare off your ex, or any of the other bridesmaids who’ve been making eyes at him all evening (which you’ve been pretending not to notice or care, but which you most definitely have noticed and are not happy about). Or maybe he just wants some affection. Or maybe it’s something else. It certainly can’t be the simplest explanation -- that Soonyoung likes you in the same way you like him. 

The banks of the water are muddy and slick, and you and Soonyoung have to cling to each other for balance, but you’re still giggling like children as you kick off your shoes and let your toes sink into the murky shallows of the pond. “It’s freezing,” you say, hopping out almost immediately and colliding with Soonyoung, who automatically throws his arms out to steady you. Your laughter fades as you look into his eyes, which are wide and uncharacteristically shy and nervous. He swallows. Hard.

“Uh....” he says, stammering. “You’re -- you’re beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you say in a tense whisper.

“I think I -- I think I like you,” Soonyoung whispers back.

“You think?” you ask, smiling a little.

“No, that was ridiculous,” he corrects. “Uh, I like you. For suresies. For realsies.”

“For suresies and for realsies?” you say with wide eyes, and he cringes.

“Throw me a bone, please,” he whines. “I’m nervous.”

And he is. You can tell that this normally confident boy is all but in pieces after making his confession. So you untangle yourself from Soonyoung’s grasp and turn to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck and looking at him. “So am I,” you admit. 

And at this, Soonyoung beams. If you didn’t know better, you’d think that a smile that lights up a room was a bit of metaphorical nonsense that didn’t truly apply to anyone, but seeing this now, you figure that was an understatement in Soonyoung’s case. This kind of smile from him was enough to support intelligent light on several planets. And you? Just like a moon, you know you’ll be rotating around him your whole life, just reflecting that light. It is impossible to fully describe the way it warms you from the inside out.

You’re so distracted by Soonyoung himself that you don’t notice how he’s leaned in close until his lips brush yours. And, in fact, this move surprises you so much that you jump, startled, which sends you sliding into the mud, dirtying up your pale pink dress and causing an angry honk to emanate from the reeds where you land. Before you know it, a goose is hissing in your ear, and you shriek with terror as you scramble to your feet, running with all your might from the furious bird, who emerges from its marshy home to chase you up the hill toward the wedding party.

You never thought you’d need to answer the question, “Could I beat a goose in a fight?” And now, here you are, with a very clear answer indeed: absolutely not. The goose is fast, using a combination of an aggressive waddle, short bursts of low flight, and what is more than likely a higher-than-average dose of unfettered bloodlust to stay right on your heels all the way onto the dance floor, where wedding guests dive out of the way in cartoonish confusion. You don’t have time to think about how ridiculous you must look, covered in mud, running from a murderous goose, before Soonyoung firmly plants himself in front of the rampaging animal. 

And inexplicably, it stops, looking up at Soonyoung with its unsettlingly blue eyes. He stands with his hands on his hips and glares down at the goose. “You interrupted what was supposed to be a very romantic moment for me,” he scolds. “Now shoo!”

And you watch, dumbfounded, as the goose gives a plaintive squawk before toddling back to its pond. “How did you do that?” you gasp. 

It is only then that you realize the entire wedding is staring at you. And for good reason -- the bride and groom are about to cut the cake. The terror of being chased by Satan’s personal fowl pales in comparison to the sight of the bride. Her eyes are even more murderous than the bird’s had been -- and she’s holding a cake knife to boot. 

So, before any other awful things can happen, you grab Soonyoung’s hand and run. Out of the wedding area, off the farm, onto the dirt road where you parked your car, realizing too late you left your shoes by the pond and not daring to face the wedding party or the goose to retrieve them. By the time you arrive at your car, you’re laughing so hard you’re crying. Soonyoung, though bewildered, joins in, and the two of you double over, struggling to breathe with the absurdity of it all.

When you’ve both been reduced to gasps for air, Soonyoung turns to you, leaning back against your passenger side door for support. “Is every day of your life like this?” he asks through deep breaths.

“Why?” you ask, your face falling. “Are you getting tired of rescuing me?”

He chuckles. Unexpectedly, he pulls you toward him by the waist, seemingly unbothered by the mud. “Not at all,” he says, pulling a stray clump of weeds from your hair. “I’d rescue you every day if you asked. I just need to know how much prep work I need to be doing. I mean, do I need to start a new workout routine? Do I need to learn karate geared toward beating up ducks?”

“That was a goose,” you correct. Then you register what he said. “You’d rescue me every day?”

He suddenly looks nervous again. “If you want,” he offers, pushing a lock of your hair behind your ear.

But your answering smile is enough to tell him that’s exactly what you want. With a mite more confidence, he grips your chin between his forefinger and thumb and pulls your lips to his.

This kiss is much more substantial than the last. Soonyoung’s arms wrap around you, his hands resting on the small of your back, locking you into his grasp and making it difficult for you to pull away -- as if you would, because his kisses are sweeter than summer strawberries. As the warm winds begin to pick up speed, as your hair whips around you and your muddy dress is blown every which way, your heart seems to crystalize into calmness. Kissing Soonyoung feels like putting the last piece into a puzzle, like coming inside from a cold rain to a warm fire, like watching bees flit from flower to flower in a late spring sunset. It feels perfect. It feels right.

You could go on kissing Soonyoung forever, until the two of you became statues locked in an embrace, but eventually you do pull away. Soonyoung laughs at the deep, shaky breath you take, and so do you, bringing a hand to touch his pink cheek in wonder. “You’re so beautiful,” you tell him.

“Not as much as you,” he replies warmly. 

Then a thought strikes you. “Also, when were you going to tell me you have mind control over geese?”

He shrugs. “It wasn’t mind control. It was the eye of the tiger.” He brings his hand up in an imitation of a paw print, and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Okay. If you’re a Disney Princess, you can just say that.”

“Okay. I’m a Disney Princess,” Soonyoung agrees. “Does that make you happy?”

“Only if I get to be the Disney Prince,” you mumble, nestling into his arms and resting your head on his shoulder.

“Deal,” he replies. You can hear the smile in his voice as he does.

[macgyvermedical]

What's the history of gabapentin?

Gabapentin is a drug officially approved for partial seizures and posherpetic neuralgia (pain due to shingles).

It also represents the 10th most commonly prescribed drug in the US by number of prescriptions.

Now, that's not because that many people have epilepsy and shingles. Instead, it's because gabapentin is one of those drugs that you throw at the wall to see if it works. It is used off label for diabetic nerve pain, for anxiety, for restless leg syndrome, for alcohol (and methamphetamine, and cocaine) withdrawal, for a number of different acute and chronic pain syndromes, bipolar disorder, and migraines, and has probably been at least tried for everything else, too.

That is not to say that it actually works for everything. At most, it has about a 40% chance of being effective for things like diabetic neuropathy and anxiety, and it has a number of side effects that don't make it anywhere near a perfect drug. But if you notice, most of the things it's been tried and used for are usually treated with controlled substances. And in (most of) the US, gabapentin is not controlled. This makes it easier to prescribe and in theory that means it has less addiction/abuse risk than alternatives (only about 1% of people with an addiction history have used gabapentin recreationally).

Why gabapentin in particular? You may ask. Why not a first generation antipsychotic or a first generation antihistamine or a muscle relaxer? All of those are used as adjuncts to prevent having to prescribe controlled substances, right?

Well, that's because Pfizer broke the law. Repeatedly.

You may not know this, but if you're marketing a drug, you can only market it for what it has been approved by the FDA to treat. And Pfizer was going around telling anyone who would listen that their drug could be used for anything you didn't want to treat with a controlled substance. Which made it very attractive for prescribers and very lucrative for Pfizer.

But you know who really didn't like this situation? The insurance companies, which were paying a premium for this on-patent drug that at least according to the FDA was doing very little for things that weren't epilepsy or shingles.

So Kaiser (the insurance company) sued Pfizer and won a relatively paltry sum compared to the money Pfizer was making off of gabapentin, and Pfizer agreed to stop telling everyone that gabapentin could treat things the FDA said it couldn't. But since the cat was metaphorically out of the bag at that point, gabapentin continues to this day to be prescribed for everything.

[fraudulent-cheese]

Actually no, i want to expand on my relative dislike of WT. Because when people talk about this season's faults, i BARELY see people mentionning the complete flattening of like half it's cast!

Oh sure, people are super willing to throw shit at TDA and especially TDAS for it's flanderisation of characters, but outside of some rogue posts by mutuals, i don't see ANY OF YOU pointing the finger at World Tour when i'd argue it's especially eggregious.

Owen's the easiest example of this, and while it didn't start this season it got so much during it. Nearly all of his lines revolve around food, his aerophobia, or Izzy for a single episode. His relationship with Alejandro is also super indicative of this; im willing to accept the HC that he was aware of Alejandro's dislike of him and just wanted to win him over, but that's absolutely not what the writters intended, no way in hell. He's just completely oblivious to his shitty behavior when he seemed at least somewhat aware of Heather's shifty behavior back on Island, or at least able to stand up for himself (shoutouts to that one Action episode). It's not fun to watch, either.

Bridgette too had her personality reduced to one or two traits, for either comedy reasons (because apparently people making out 24/7 is funny) or story reasons (establishing Alejandro as a threat who uses flirting and his general attractiveness to advance his strategy) and it suckssssss because she was! an actual character! and World Tour especially benefits from having a 'straight man' type character that can look at the other's weirdness and react to it like a normal-ish person! That and she could be an interesting presence to have on Team Victory, with her friendships with Leshawna and Courtney for instance.

DJ too is a BIG victim of the flanderisation thing; his personality is dumbed down to just being a huge scaredy cat, and his character is just The Curse. That's all he does and that's all he is, all he talks about. And that sucks because he too, was an actual person in Island and even Action! Sure, he was sometimes a pushover and had an accident-prone bunny, but he was also kind and could actually go out of his way to play pranks on people! But all of that is just gone in WT.

There's also the characters that weren't flanderised, and more just. Written entirely out of character. Outside of the entire Love Triangle (which i will get to) the biggest example of this is Leshawna to me. The writters straight forget the episode in Action where she's entirely dsitrustful of the Pizza they were offered (which did turn out to be tampered with) due to Chef being uncharasterically nice to them. Guess what Alejandro was doing. Being overly nice to her out of nowhere. Frankly she fell victim to the same thing Bridgette did; needing to be sacked for Alejandro's villany to be better established.

Ok fuck i need to mention the Love Triangle too because while people complain about it alot i don't think they complain about the correct stuff. i'll go rapid fire because it's been talked to death however; Gwen's liking of Duncan is a retcon, her acting like this is out of character for her frankly, Duncan's out of character by trying to emotionally manipulate his ex and the lore established to justify it makes it worse (remember the "At least im straight with people" line?), Courtney is villanised from even before this point which while her anger might've been targetted at the wrong person she was justified in being upset imo, Courtney's entire character is thrown out of a window in general this season, blah blah blah.

I'll end on the whole "the writters forgetting entire character traits/arcs" Cody still hitting on Gwen this season makes no goddamn sense and is super uncomfortable to watch. He's really such a nothing character man. Sierra deserved better than being a manic pixie stalker girl.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

May I please have a Wally with a reader that is somehow sentient and aware with knowing they've somehow got stuck in this tv show and are heavely aware Wally has something to do with it?

So they're extra closed up about themselves, stay home a lot to avoid the puppets in overly social gathering (like they can handle two or three of them but not all at once as it's too overwhelming with happy shizzles and stuff), yet that doesn't mean they don't talk at all to them. They don't keep their mouth shut either when something's bothering them, like when they get annoyed when Wally stares too long at them and makes a comment about it or genuinely admit they dislike Home with how disturbing it seems to them.

Wally somehow doesn't mind as he's genuinely interested in them and wants to become their friend as best as possible, not for any reason with manipulation, just pure friendly business. But as the reader knows he's the main star of the show they're forced to play in, they know the camera follows him almost always, thus they avoid him like the plague which causes a cat and mouse play between you two. Wally trying to get closer to you with perhaps making paintings and gifts for you while you just casually dip out of there while somehow looking like you don't hate him.

(It would be even funnier if you somehow became the second favorite character of the show as you stand out a lot with your attitude and being the only human being there, perhaps even attracting teens to watch the show with your remarks at the puppets for a certain someone not even having a nose or eyebrows and your monotone voice singing and having no energy with dancing once you somehow get stuck in a song sequence with the others (kind of like red guy from dhmis)

Funny thing is, sadly for Wally, is that you get along well with Frank and Eddie as they're the more calm ones, Eddie still joyfull a lot, but more calmer than Julie and Howdy perhaps are.

So there's Wally, staring with the most confused and slight jealous eyes as he watches you joke around and actually smile with the duo/couple(?) while you always give him a frown that's somehow even deeper than Franks.

Sorry for the slight ramble and long explanation (I'm a fanfic writer myself), just wanted to give a summary of how I see it and wondering how you'd think this would work out.

Btw, reader doesn't hate Wally, they're just warry and uncomfortable with his stares and Home in general, and with the knowledge that's he's one of the reasons they're stuck here. They soften up to him a little eventually, like letting him hug them shortly or talking more casual with him, but no way he ever sees them entering his house.

This was so long I'm so sorry.

Anyway, have a great day/night!

Oh don't worry I think this is a great idea! I like how fleshed-out it is!

...........

You have only spent a week in the neighborhood...before realizing something was terribly, terribly wrong with the world surrounding you.

At first, this place seemed like nothing but sunshine and rainbows--full of fun, joy, color, and friendship. A place that one could only dream of living in all their life, free of worry or strife.

It felt comforting and safe, so when you started having these weird feelings that not everything was as it seemed..you figured you were just nervous about settling into a new place.

But when the folks here asked where you were from, you'd end up drawing a blank...starting to question where you really did come from. So you'd simply tell them you're just "out of town" and leave it at that, although you always sounded uncertain about it.

And there's something else that was especially peculiar: every activity the neighbors did almost always stopped at the end of the day. It seemed strange to you since there's plenty of things you could do. Like campfires or stargazing!

So one evening, you asked all of your neighbors why they rarely hung out during the night, and they had relatively normal responses: Eddie says it's tricky to deliver mail at nighttime; Howdy was too tired from working at the bugdega all day; Barnaby and Sally had to plan their next stunts, tricks, and plays; Julie and Frank wanted to get their "beauty sleep"; and Poppy needed to take care of things back at the barn.

All seemed to be perfectly reasonable answers...

Until you got to Wally.

He looked as though he was ready to respond...only to fall quiet and stare off into space, as though he was in another world. But the fact that his pupils seemed to dilate gave you the chills for some reason, and you calmly tried snapping him out of his trance.

Then he did, and quietly said something about Home "disliking" it whenever he stays out too late. And he bid you goodnight before leaving.

That exchange was the moment you realized something was very off about him beyond his staring habits. It's like he didn't know exactly what to say.

As if...it's such an unusual question for him, but normal to you.

And out of nowhere, the truth hit you like a truck:

This whole place was just one big TV show, with all of you trapped inside as the unwitting stars who were meant to follow certain "scripts" during your daily interactions.

You don't know how or why you knew that, but it became clearer when you constantly got the feeling that your movements were being watched.

You could sense eyes on you even when you were alone.

And sometimes you'd hear indistinguishable voices of adults and children alike while you slept, unable to discern whether they were merely in your dream or existed in reality. It must have been the former, considering none of the other neighbors said they heard anything.

To you, these people...these "viewers", sounded like they were in a faraway land--an unreachable place where you couldn't call out to them for answers no matter how hard you tried.

You knew nothing about them, but they knew everything about you.

Your character had become so fascinating to them from the moment you arrived in the humble neighborhood. You've actually become the second favorite almost instantly, given the uniqueness you've brought to the colorful cast as a human merely wearing an average-sized costume.

They've observed that your personality makes you relatable to young teens, attracting them to the show. Many of them got some chuckles out of your dry and semi-self aware humor (in that you'd joke about how Wally's missing his eyebrows and nose when everybody else has them). It was an immediate hit.

Even when you got pulled into some silly musical number with the rest of the gang, you just spoke in monotone and put lackluster energy into dancing when the camera panned over to you--much to the dismay of your "neighbors".

The viewers just couldn't get enough of you. They adored you.

And they can't stop watching.

You, on the other hand, weren't aware that you were so popular...and quite frankly, you didn't want to be. It terrified you.

So for a while, to protect your own sanity, you began attending less and less social events, not wanting to overwhelm yourself. You've declined invitations to Sally's and Barnaby's shows, which made you feel kinda bad..but you were just so fearful of everything at the time.

Were any of them aware of their circumstances, too?

You had no idea, and it would probably make you sound like a crazy person if you told them how you really felt.

The only other person to show any sort of "deviance" was...Wally himself.

You didn't know why, but you felt like he had something to do with the situation you're in. Especially given his odd response to you that evening and the fact that...he just apparently loved to stare so much, watching you just like the audience did.

It didn't help that whenever you talked to him or he tried approaching you, you got the chilling feeling that you were being perceived by the audience--as if somebody was holding a camera over your shoulder, wanting to capture every moment the "main character" spent with you.

You'd prefer to spend as little time in the spotlight as possible.

However, being anxious about this world didn't mean you weren't a bit mouthy towards other things you disliked. You were known for being blunt and sometimes a "realist", shrugging of whatever crocodile tears the others may give you just for the crime of being honest and true to yourself.

So yes...you'd always call out Wally if he was staring at you for a prolonged period of time, or if he tried persuading you to say hello to Home if you happened to pass by the sentient house.

Your response? Straight up "no thank you, it creeps me out and I don't like how its window-eye things are looking at me."

The audience may laugh, but it's the truth.

That building scares you.

Despite all of this, though...Wally didn't seem to bothered by it. He likened your sarcastic quips to Frank's, so that was never an issue with him. If anything, he was genuinely trying to help you feel right at home in the neighborhood, hoping to become a friend you could trust and rely on if you needed anything.

It'll just take you a bit more time to adjust, and that's alright!

Sure, maybe his stares were strange to you and Home was well...Home. He understood why those things might seem scary to a new neighbor.

But then again, that's how everybody else acted when he first met them, and now they were all good friends!

He's sure you'll fit right in and find true happiness here. So he made it his mission to befriend you without coming on too strongly, inviting you to quiet picnics and painting lessons, calling you on the phone, and even showing up at your doorstep with gifts.

He even made sure to tell his neighbors to give you space, though he was really hoping you'd stop being afraid of him the longer you spent around him alone.

But while you accepted his presents and showed up to his invites...you just couldn't let your guard down around him. You never looked happy or relaxed, and didn't stay long, usually cutting your time together short under the guise that you forgot to do something important and had to leave now.

Your latest excuse was that you forgot to "walk your fish" even though you owned no such pet. You were a terrible liar, but Wally believed you anyways.

He was a patient man, so he'll wait how ever long it took to befriend you.

...........

"Alright, Home..today I'm gonna gift [y/n] my finest work thus far! Do you think they'll like it?"

Pausing, Wally listened for the creaks of approval and squeaks of reassurances, smiling when he heard them, although Home noted something else.

"Haha..you're right. Silly me. It needs more time to dry..or else the paint will just smudge and make it a not-so-nice gift. Sorry, I'm just excited, is all.." He chuckled awkwardly.

After setting the canvas back on the easel, he wandered over to the window and peered outside, humming a small tune to himself as he rested his arms on the sill.

It took him all day and all night to paint the perfect picture of your favorite animal---which he learned about from an off-handed comment you made a few days ago. His memory was sharp, remembering all the details about the creature, and he believed you'll love what he created as a result!

Surely now you'll see that he's not all that bad. Otherwise he'd be lost on how to convince you.

However, he noticed a rather...surprising sight from across the street, one that even Home had to confirm was happening so he didn't think he was going crazy.

You were actually out and about, having a casual chat with Frank, asking how he got together with Eddie before bumping into said mailman on the sidewalk.

Wally couldn't make out what any of you three were discussing, but Eddie must have said something humorous, as it made Frank groan and hide his blushing face. And you just chuckled and shook your head, patting the latter's back sympathetically.

He felt his heart sink.

You were talking to the couple--joking around, smiling, and genuinely enjoying their company. As if you've known them all your life.

Yet anytime he's even near you in any capacity, he's met with frowns deeper than Frank's and constant excuses to get away from him. Like he was some kind of pest or scary monster.

He didn't understand what he was doing wrong.

Of course, he's happy you're getting along with some of the neighbors, no longer being so shut-in...but it hurt to know he's still stuck struggling, literally begging you to be his friend.

*creaaaak?*

"..no, Home. I'm not jealous. What gives you that idea?"

*...creeak.."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Wally looked back at the easel, sighing. Part of him wanted to just throw the whole canvas out the window, but....he shook off the feeling, forcing a smile.

He wanted you to have it, even if you didn't like him that much.

So when he saw you finally parting ways with Eddie and Frank, he decided to head over to your house about an hour later, assuming you were gonna be there and needed to recharge from socializing.

He put on his best cardigan and made sure his hair was neat before heading out the door with the small canvas tucked under his arm, covered by a protective sheet. He wouldn't wanna spoil the surprise for you, after all..even if you anticipated it being yet another painting.

For some reason, the sky was grayer than usual today..meaning it's probably gonna rain on his parade.

But he didn't let that deter him.

After arriving to your house, he knocked three times, in a certain rhythm that you've distinctively recognized as him being at the door.

But he was surprised when you opened it right away. "Oh heya, Wally. What's up?"

"Ohh nothing much, neighbor." He chuckled. "May I..come in? I promise I won't stay long-"

"It's cool. It looks like it's gonna rain anyways. Wouldn't wanna ruin your "beautiful" hair now, huh?" With a coy smirk, you let him come inside the house, shutting the door behind you as you turned around to see what be brought you this time.

He looked shocked, almost, standing there like a fish out of water. You invited him in without hesitation...though he tried not getting his hopes up too high.

You're just trying to be polite. In a few minutes you're gonna kick him out for some silly reason.

Shifting your gaze away from his uncomfortable stare, you looked at the painting in his hands, tilting your head. "I guess that's for me.."

Nodding, Wally handed you the canvas, watching you remove the small sheet to see it was a painting of your favorite animal. Your eyes lit up, impressed by the amount of details that went into this one, before looking back up at him. "Wow, man..this is....awesome. How long did it take you?"

"Not very long!" He suddenly chirped, hands clasped together with excitement. "I just hope it fits nicely in your collection! A-Assuming....you...have one...that is..."

Bit by bit, his words began to fall flat with uncertainty, before he completely dropped the act, shoulders slumped.

Why did he bother trying anymore? What was the point?

You noticed his odd mood shift. "Wally? What's wrong?"

"..nothing, neighbor.." Sighing, he hung his head low, a cloud of doom and gloom manifesting over him as he shuffled towards the door. He felt like going back to Home and curling up in a corner somewhere. "I'll...see you later-"

"Wait."

"...hm?"

He stopped and looked over his shoulder, still feeling quite depressed but willing to listen to whatever you wanted to say.

You set the painting on a nearby table, approaching him with your heart constrained with guilt. "Look, Wally..I know you think I hate you or something, but...that's not true."

"It...isn't?" He blinked.

"I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. There's just been...a lot of my mind lately. Things I can't really talk about just yet..I-I don't know. It's hard to explain. But the point is...I really do wanna be your friend. I guess I'm just...a very "guarded" person if that makes sense."

Although Wally was staring at you yet again, you didn't break eye contact, wanting him to know you're being genuine here. "I don't open up easy, but I know you've...helped me a lot, and I appreciate that. I do keep your paintings and I do feel bad for being a jerk to you sometimes. So...think you can forgive me? I'll even allow this if you want."

When he saw you open your arms up to him, he was frozen for a few long moments, astonishment written all over his face.

He just...didn't know what to say. Not only did you actually like his company, but....

He was allowed to hug you??

"..c'mon, pal. My arms are kinda getting tired." You awkwardly smiled, although you blinked as he suddenly latched onto you, letting out a few sniffles.

He wanted to sob so badly, but knew that wouldn't be very "neighborly" of him.

Yet you heard how he sounded, and felt guilty for treating him as some bad guy...when really he didn't seem malicious at all. You wanted to believe he had good intentions.

Whether or not he also knew the truth behind this place...that didn't matter right now.

He just wanted to be your friend.

You'll never be happy if you kept being so afraid of him all the time. That wasn't any life to live, even if you're unsure of whether this was your only life or not.

But you let him hug you anyways, patting his back.

"Th-This is very nice of you, neighbor. I forgive you." He mumbled, cheek squished against your shoulder as he clung to you tightly, never wanting to let go-

"Thanks......okay, you can let go now."

"..o-oh! Right, sorry." Reluctantly, Wally let you go, rubbing his eyes before dusting off his cardigan, breathing a sigh of relief. "Whew! I'm glad we're on better terms now. But...if I may ask..what changed?"

"Ah, well..I was talking with Frank and Eddie earlier..and I asked them about you."

"Huh....?" He pointed to himself, raising an invisible eyebrow. "Me..?"

"Yeah. Since they're more chill than most of the people here, I feel like I can be myself around them." You explained. "Howdy and Julie are kinda too loud for me, so...yeah. Those guys pushed me to reach out to you and try to make this friendship work...instead of the other way around."

'So...that's what they were talking about..' He realized, though he beamed anyways, happy you took their advice.

"Well that's great! I think we'll become great friends, [y/n]!" Smiling, he offered his hand to you, and you shook it as a way of saying you're both willing to start over.

"I..think so, too, Wally." You smiled back, feeling this huge weight being lifted off your shoulders.

"So...do you wanna come visit Home when the weather clears?"

"...I'll pass. But I'll wave to 'em from afar if that's okay."

"It's fine by me, neighbor."

[the-lonelyshepherd]

"fanon lottienatters please stay away from me" oh!! shots fired!! 2,000 dead, 10,000 injured!! BUT curious about your specific definition for fanon lottienat and what you dislike about it <33

ohhhhh okay... alrrrrrr

this is like. one of my biggest issues. im not like a shipper, never rlly have been until yj but i dont like engage in discourse bc thats stupid.

But basically? Fanon lottienat just kinda strips anything thats interesting about the ship away. and makes it like. punk x preppy. loser x popular. ive even heard black cat and golden retriever which makes me want to rip my eyes out.

And its not even accurate to their characterization? at all? like youre flanderizing them but like..... not even their main traits. like ive seen people say "precrash lottie would be like charlotte from status update (curse that movie btw. the things i do for u courtney eaton) which is just. like not at all.

first off lottie is not popular. yeah, shes rich, but shes clearly somewhat of a loner (WHICH PARALLELS NAT?? WHICH MAKES IT MORE INTERESTING???) even courtney has said this in interviews. she feels ostracized, and a lot of it can be traced back to the flashback scenes we see, esp those about her relationship w her parents and her supposed mental illness. the 90s, especially the 90s in a high pressure rich family, was NOT a good place to have schizophrenia (and yeah theres the "she wasnt actually mentally ill" argument but that changes nothing because atp in the story her whole family and probably herself believed she was.

Then we have the nat characterization. The fanon "grumpy" to fanon lotties "sunshine". guys canonically nat smiles more than lottie. girlie was always grinning while lottie was experiencing the horrors all of s1. ofc they both went THROUGH it but that specific stereotype pissed me off sm i had to address it.

also, nat gets shown a lot as masc?? which is a fine headcanon but like for her style like the whole punk thing? she acc dresses relatively femininely.those are little irks abt nat but they bother me idc. too tired to write more on this rn but feel free to ask!

so basically taking this stuff into account - fanon lottienat uses a gross mischaracterization of both characters, especially lottie (also that suspiciously align w stereotypes HMMMMM) to literally make the ship more boring. You are making it a stupid and lame trope. You literally have these two insanely complex characters who mirror each other. Theyre not opposites attract, they are the same character in different skins. They're both loners, one because of her punk/rebel nature and nasty rumors, the other because of her mental illness and lack of closeness to people. Theyre both loners because of their social status and their fucked up home life. Theyre both providers - nat the hunter, bringer of physical and real food like the deer. Lottie the prophet, bringer of hope and, through the teams eyes, the birds, the bear, etc. Lottie who begs to be a martyr but is denied nat who runs from it but shoulders it anyways. They're both bleeding hearts they both give soul to the team and are some of the most genuine characters but they present it so differently.

The fact that the majority of content grossly mischaracterizes them and is the widely accepted fanon just.. sucks tbh. and the fact that people get so up in arms about them, and literally attack fans of other characters (lottielee fans... travis fans....) for no reason?? all these other characters do is contribute to what makes lottienat such a compelling and fucked up and interesting ship. i love them so much but lwk most of yall are insane and dont even appreciate them for what they really are.

thoughts questions comments concerns hmu

[yinora-evergreen]

It’s sort of a comedy ship idea. Dead Boy Detectives Cat King x reader, Edwin’s alive relative who is a warlock. In the UK they were nicknamed curse breaker and helped the boys on their cases. Unfortunately no matter how hard they try they can’t get the bracelet off Edwin. The Cat King finds their attempts hilarious……the warlock confronts him and tells him to knock off the mockery!

Warlock: “If you don’t release Edwin I swear I will-!”

Cat King: “Sorry little magician but I’m not a common being, spells don’t work on me. Nice try though and you look so adorable when you’re angry.”😼

pairing: the Cat King x Payne! alive! warlock! gn! reader, Edwin Payne x alive! relative! gn! reader, Charles Rowland x platonic! reader

a/n: i wasn't sure how to add romantic attraction to this so i tried to keep it so it's implied, i hope it's as you hoped!

ps: i tried to write warlock! reader as accurate as possible, but it's probably not perfect, so excuse any inacuracies and feel free to point them out!

Edwin's first though when he got back to Crystak's 'apartment' with that damned bracelet was that you could get it off, right?

so, Charles mirror-travelled to where you said you'd be if you were available, a specific backroom in an abandoned warehouse that you called home.

you kept a mirror there just for them, as it happened more often than they'd like to admit that they needed you to break a curse or needed your magic expertise.

so when Charles practically barged in to drag you to Port Townsend, you weren't exactly surprised.

untill you saw why they needed you.

you happened to already be familiar with the Cat King, as you had a time or two when you had to visit the town for a client needing a spell done, or removed.

you walked into the room with Charles, seeing Crystal practically covering her ears as Edwin banged the bracelet against the different furniture and pipes in the room.

"hey Edwin, what's the problem?" you inquired and he seemed to be relieved.

"take this off, as quick as you can." you raised an eyebrow at him, one he knew all too well.

"...please..." "ofcourse, i can try, do you mind giving me some info on how you even got it in the first place?" you say as you take his wrist and look at the golden bracelet, a vague sense of recognition washing over you and you touch it.

"well, i used a simple, utterly harmless binding spell on a cat, and-"

"you used a spell on a CAT?!" you practically yell, already feeling the vague headache you'd get from the Cat King.

"well, yes, and i do realize it wasn't the best idea, now that i have this inconvenient bracelet" he says in an annoyed tone.

"and let me guess, you got to meet the nuisance that is the Cat King?"

"you know of him?" Edwin asks in a slightly surprised tone.

"ofcourse i know him, he's a pain in my ass" you mutter.

you turn to Crystal, a forced smile on your face which seems more like you're on your last strand of sanity.

"it would be best if you'd take a step back, if this spell backfires it might disintegrate your skin" you say it so casually you can see her confusion with a hint of fear on her face.

"and yours won't? you seem pretty alive to me" she comments, though she does take a step or two back.

"i'm a warlock, i have the influence of a demon in my magic and that very same demon allows me to be able to suffer through higher temperatures without being in any physical pain, so don't you worry about me" you say as you wrap your hand around the bracelet, murmering some words in latin as your hand starts to glow a red-ish orange, though even after over 30 seconds it does absolutely nothing to the bracelet, much to your annoyance.

"well, that seems to have worked splendidly" Edwin comments, instantly receiving a glare from you.

"just, do whatever he told you to do to get it off, i'll go pay mr whiskers a visit" you grumble.

you walk out, speed-walking to the place where you've found the cat king before, much to your luck you actually find him too.

before he can say anything, you start talking.

"if you don't release Edwin i swear i will-"

"sorry, little magician, but i'm not a common being, spells don't work on me. Nice try though, you look so adorable when you're angry"

the tone that he uses makes you want to punch that little smug grin right off his stupid face.

"you're such a nuisance, i hope you lose another one of your nine lives like last time" you grit out through clenched teeth.

"you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid~" the Cat King nearly purrs, which only irks you even more.

"fuck you, and your cats, and those stupid eyes of you and your stupid hair" you practically yell, which makes him put on a fake, pained expression.

"oh no! not my cats, dearest warlock" he laughs, his mocking tone making your blood boil and your cheeks turn red, though as much as you deny it he does have his appeal.

"just, don't inconvenience me even more, asshole" you mumble as you turn to leave, and as you walk away you hear him yell after you.

"come see me whenever you like, i promise i'll make it worth it!"

[headfullof-ideas]

Some headcanons of the Nektons family that I’ve been meaning to finish up, and finally got around to! I posted them to Ao3 as well, if anyone’s there as well. I usually post headcanons of a certain character by themself, but i couldn’t think of enough for a whole set, so there’s some of the whole family here, and some of the characters individually.

- After everything with the Monumentials is dealt with, Ant gets a tuxedo cat he affectionately names Buttons. Buttons is mostly black, with two little white ‘buttons’ and ‘gloves’, and she’s the sweetest cat ever. Ant insists that Buttons formal occupation as an ESA is entirely coincidental

- Kaiko played Dungeons and Dragons a bit as a kid and in college, but never found a group who wanted to play seriously. She still has all her old books, character sheets, and dice in a box in her and Will’s closet

- When Kaiko and Will were introducing each other to their parents, Kaiko’s parents were initially on the fence about Will. Meanwhile, Kathryn and Jacques immediately fell in love with Kaiko

- Kaiko had about a dozen different ‘pets’ growing up, some that were animals that her family were taking care of before they were released back to the wild. She was also the owner of a number of failed fosters

- Ant and Fontaine were both child leash toddlers. Fontaine grew out of needing it, but Ant would find new ways to slip out of his leash without either parent noticing

- Ant keeps forgetting that his name is actually ‘Antaeus’ because of how long he’s been going by ‘Ant’. When he does occasionally remember or get called Antaeus casually, he sits in silence for a few minutes having an existential crisis over it

- Ant and Kaiko both brush off minor illnesses like they’re nothing more than minor inconveniences. They do the same with injuries. When it becomes too much though, they both get super clingy and needy

- Will was an Egyptology kid, with the shiny gold book and all. He was also a magpie as a kid, attracted to all the shiny doo-dads and bobbles he’d find

- Ant wanted to be a Marine Biologist as a kid because of his mom and how much he loved the ocean, but as he got older he started leaning in a different direction with other animals as well. Eventually he landed on being an Animal Behaviorist

- Fontaine does NOT like snakes. At all. They gross her out so much

- Hide and seek is banned on the Aronnax, because the game takes way too long with how many hiding places there are on the submarine. Repeated incidents involving pingers as cheating, with all family members guilty of it, is another reason

- The World Oceans Authorities never stopped trying to rehire Kaiko after she left. When Ant grows up and starts looking for a job, they make it their mission to hire him. Ant makes a point to say no in the most elaborate way possible each time. Pyrosome cries herself to sleep about it sometimes

- After at least half of their late night missions, the family don’t even make it to their own bedrooms to sleep. Crashing in the Moon Pool happens often enough they store blankets and pillows in a closet

- There’s a board of ‘how many missions so and so has gone without needlessly risking their life’ in the lab. Ant has never made it to the double digits. Kaiko and Will are only slightly better. Fontaine is the only one who has made it relatively close to triple digits, and she feels ashamed every time she has to restart her clock

- Kaiko keeps a wall of shame and fame for all the animals she treats as a Marine Biologist, with their crimes listed beneath their photo. If she’s really annoyed with one of her family members, their photo makes it to the wall until they stop annoying her

- Kaiko and Will put child locks on Wills study when Ant and Fontaine were toddlers, and Kaiko has multiple videos of Will struggling to open his own safes and shelves during that time frame. Sometimes if she feels he’s spending too much time in the study, she’ll put them back on

- Ant and Fontaine had bells put on them when they first started being mobile as babies, as both would crawl off when their parents backs were turned for one second, and Kaiko and Will would have to madly dash through the Aronnax, listening for the jingling of a bell to find their baby

- Ant tried out Speech and Debate in high school, and was surprisingly really good at it. Kaiko was really proud

- Fontaine seems to make new friends almost everywhere the family goes, and she’s really good at remembering the names of all the people she meets

- Fontaine is really good at remembering specific dates, and here calendar is packed full of all sorts of important dates and events

[quasiquack666]

One of my biggest borderline-canon headcanons is that Kayden is arospec! Sure, I like romantic plots for him, but in canon I think he genuinely makes sense as arospec based on canon evidence.

Disclaimer: This is my argument for arospec Kayden as arospec myself, but other arospecs may have different views!

(Spoilers for later chapters with Gestella)

Evidence: Relation to Kartein — The panels where Kayden talks about leading the way for Kartein  — The framing of that panel (a bit sparkly, soft) and the scene just after Kartein heals Subin's grandpa — Kayden talking about Kartein's beauty to Vatore — The way Kayden went up to a remote mountain solely to make sure Kartein would be okay — General vibes between them too

Often cited as evidence for romantic KarKay, these points also work well for arospec Kayden in a more canon context (since romantic KarKay will not be canon, but platonic KarKay is canon!)

Although the points can be taken as romantic context, they could also be deep admiration and aesthetic interest for Kartein, for an arospec person. Kartein makes total sense as someone Kayden would admire, for his regal beauty, for his prowess in healing and combat, and likely because they're similar in personality.

Believing Kartein's attractiveness as greater than Vatore's (in his eyes) doesn't have to be romantic. Although saying Kartein is super attractive doesn't seem like something a brother would do (who says their sibling is attractive in that sort of tone…), it could certainly be something an arospec person might say about someone they'd be queerplatonic with.

In arospec context, Kayden is simply admiring Kartein's beauty as aesthetically pleasing to him. Maybe even sensually pleasing, someone he'd want to touch and caress and show affection to, but not romantically. Perhaps this man enjoys pale aesthetics. 😂 

(Side Tangent, seriously all of Kayden's closer connections seem to have a pale part of their aesthetic: Kartein, Pluton, Jiwoo, and eventually Gestella).

Evidence: Relation to Gestella — The phrasing of Kayden's letters to her — Not seeming to comprehend himself in relation to romance

Although canon is making them out to be romantic already (despite not knowing each other…), arospec Kayden can explain both points.

Kayden has never been shown to be entirely ignorant to relationship context or emotions. He noticed immediately why Delein wanted to off himself and scolded him, was gentler comparatively to Amyeong after Kayden knew he saved Jiwoo's life, tried to dress up and make a good impression to Yujeong since he knew she was important to Jiwoo, noticed that Kartein would've wanted to help Subin's grandpa and gave him an out (via writing a skit with a specific tone...), noticed how Kartein was actually nervous going to Astra's and then followed him, knew enough to feel uncomfortable whenever Subin was simping while he's in cat form, etc.

Yet the romantic letter plotline makes Kayden seem drastically more dumbed down than those examples, hence why I despise the letters romantically. But from the perspective of an arospec Kayden, the letters make sense.

Just from my own POV, thinking of oneself in a real romantic context is difficult. Or at least, not the first thing I think about in relation to other people. Even though I know romance exists and actively think about it for characters in fantasy, the practical reality is that it doesn't quite make sense relative to myself. It's like thinking about dragons: they can have complex social structure, different meanings to different people, many shapes or forms, but ultimately don't exist in the tangible reality even if I can imagine them.

So with aromantic Kayden, he's not suddenly more ignorant than before and still understands that romance exists in general. But relative to himself, he doesn't see why anyone would view him in a romantic context, and therefore doesn't immediately question the phrasing of his letters, or that the way he talks about Kartein could be a little gay.

The plot becomes less that Kayden is more dumbed down than before, and more that Kayden does not view himself as romantically compatible to anyone. So any affection or admiration expressed by him is platonic, even if it's a very strong yearning, wanting, desiring sort of feeling (such a feeling would be more queerplatonic than romantic!)

In other words, Kayden had a mega squish (arospec word meaning something similar to ‘crush’). Kayden was pretty much squishing on Kartein and Gestella (potentially even Pluton if we got backstory there, although he did deny Pluton’s statement lol).

Evidence: Relation to Jiwoo — Kayden not noticing that Jiwoo seems have romantic inclinations — His extreme protectiveness over his son (cough)

Kayden not noticing about Jiwoo’s romantic interests also makes sense here. He's not literally ignorant to the fact that romance is A Thing, and moreso doesn't think of Jiwoo in non-platonic relationships perhaps because he doesn't think about them for himself. And with Jiwoo as His Son ™ it may just slip his mind to think of that. (Like a parent whose little boy is growing up LMAO).

Nevermind Kayden’s very familial affection for Jiwoo. Which also makes sense for arospec since family and friends are often the only relationships arospec folks generally desire (with some exceptions).

Conclusion: Arospec Kayden!

I much prefer an arospec interpretation of Kayden in canon because it avoids him looking dumb in the letter plot, while also making sense of his blindspot to Jiwoo's romantic interests, and his phrasing of admiration in Kartein. 

He remains a lot more loyal to his original characterization this way. And honestly I love that a character like Kayden is arospec-coded.

Arospec Kayden is ugh the most adorable thing 🥰

[kingsandbastardz]

I've reached episode 25 of Mysterious Lotus Casebook and current thoughts and questions:

Amnesia a-Fei is fantastic because his personality stays the same except being less restrained with his facial expressions.

His sense of humor (comic timing on the mountain is A++) and style of wandering in and out of the scene bearing unexpected "gifts", digging his heels in when he doesn't want to do something, and attacking full force when the group is in danger -- it reminds me of a very large house cat

Are they implying that his lack of taste is psychological? Since he's able to taste food with his memories wiped. That means he lost his sense of taste as an adult, right? I wonder if it was gradual or a triggered event...

One scene i found particularly interesting: Li Lianhua asks a-Fei about his past history and a-Fei truthfully tells him that he remembers killing a lot. And that he came from "a mountain of corpses" with an almost-smiling and completely pleasant expression on his face. Li Lianhua changes the topic immediately without blinking or reacting. I'm split between whether he realizes it's a heavy topic and he personally doesn't want to know? Or if maybe he realizes that a-Fei was using a style of phrasing I like to call "shock and awe conversation stoppers" You know when you drop a bomb into a conversation you want to end with a banger like "They split my ribcage open with giant forceps while I was still half awake. It sucked." *pregnant pause, pleasant smile* So being sensitive to that, he prioritizes moving the conversation to something more comfortable?

I like how Fang Doubing is seriously cute but in a quietly burly-bro-potentially-strong way (which is especially reinforced with his style of stomping ppl into the ground during fights). Li Lianhua is also similarly deceptive where his fighting style and physical build is delicate but he's actually deeply imposing and overbearing when active (verbally or physically). Which is interesting because I find it's the opposite with Di Feisheng. Di Feisheng is super imposing on the surface and ok about 10 feet near that surface? But put him in the right conditions (like around the other two guys) and all the softness comes out. It's just the softness has natural claws like a feral cat or a snake or something. I mean, when you're a strong as he is, softness is relative. So in the case when he was fighting at the wedding party, he felt actually... gentle, to me? Despite wiping the floor with everyone. From the sect's perspective he was viciously attacking, but he didn't strike me as even being seriously upset at getting trapped in the array. It was like... I'm here's an analogy - you know when zoos give giant cardboard boxes to a lion? And it plays with it but cardboard doesn't stand a chance so it'll be crushed pretty quickly under its weight and butt just from the act of playing. I feel like in a lot of fights, Di Feisheng actually modulates his force a lot more than his reputation suggests. It's just he's THAT fucking strong.

Side note: this also explains why Li Lianhua used to think the sect couldn't do without him. I mean if he was the only one strong enough to go against an enemy that his ppl couldn't fight even as a group...

Lol what was it 7 vs 1 and Di Feisheng still wiped the floor with the entire sect leadership in the cherry blossom security trap

Li Lianhua attracts all the single ladies looool (and lads)

The alliance guy that does Di Feisheng's errands is cute. And loyal, which makes him more cute. Does he have a name at all?

Li Lianhua's smiles any time DFS does whatever is great. Oh he's wandering the mountain side and this widget gave him sensory issues so he yanked it out and brought it back in his own volition (like a cat with a corpse) ? That whole episode Li Lianhua was dropping secret smile bombs even more than when DFS folded himself into a 6yr old body

I want to see DFS as a 6 yr old again. Deliberately for a case.

[mariacallous]

Right-Wing Media Sails On Despite Russian Scheme

It was the day before the most recent presidential debate and Benny Johnson, the popular right-wing podcaster and YouTube show host, was amplifying the latest falsehood—soon to be heard direct from Republican candidate Donald Trump’s mouth—that Haitian immigrants were dining on people’s cats. “This story is insane, all right!” Johnson chortled on The Benny Show. “I doubt any corporate media is going to go and tell the story of Springfield, Ohio, but we have to, actually, as our social obligation to you.”

The Sept. 9 video racked up more than 132,000 views and helps explain why The Benny Show has more than 2.4 million subscribers on YouTube. It also illuminates why its host—once the viral political editor of BuzzFeed before he was fired for multiple instances of plagiarism in 2014—was recruited by Tenet Media, a right-wing Tennessee-based media company identified by the US Department of Justice this month as a “covert project” of RT, the Russian state-controlled media outlet. “Benny used to say, ‘Do you know the difference between a good click and a bad click? They’re just clicks,’” recalls Bubba Atkinson, founder of Bubba News, a daily center-right newsletter, who worked with Johnson in the past. “I think that’s demonstrative of the ethos he lives by, where, you know, almost all attention is good for him.”

Johnson has issued a statement saying he was unaware of Tenet’s Kremlin ties. So have several of the company’s other prominent commentators, most notably the self-described red-pilled former leftist Dave Rubin and skateboarding libertarian Tim Pool. That may very well be true. Still, that such relatively big names in right-wing circles could find themselves entangled with anti-American forces—wittingly or unwittingly—speaks volumes about the state of conservative media in the age of Trump.

If you think of the hierarchy of the right-wing media world, particularly on the personality side, as a three-tiered pyramid, the top is occupied by Fox News figures like Trump cheerleader Sean Hannity. Go down a level, and you’ll find Ben Shapiro and his co-hosts at the Daily Wire, the Nashville company aspiring to be a right-wing Walt Disney Co. Then there’s a third tier of self-employed figures like Johnson, Pool and Rubin. Without the protection or the guardrails of an employer, they must compete for traffic with everybody else and have a financial incentive to go to extremes.

That could mean Johnson mocking the Fulton County, Georgia, district attorney and Trump nemesis Fani Willis as “Big Fani,” or Pool hosting alt-right figures such as Richard Spencer and former Breitbart News senior editor Milo Yiannopoulos, who’ve been largely shunned for good reason elsewhere in conservative circles. But that only seems to have made Tenet’s commentators more attractive to RT. According to the indictment, their messages “are often consistent with the Government of Russia’s interest in amplifying US domestic divisions.”

“Look, the Russians were not stupid,” says Rick Wilson, co-founder of the anti-Trump Lincoln Project and a former Republican political consultant. “They recognized that these guys are very much influencers who can spread the kind of messages they wanted distributed to a wider audience, to drive social media engagement through the roof.” (Neither Tenet nor Johnson, Pool or Rubin responded to interview requests for this story.)

Given the nature of their businesses, the Tenet figures were also clearly more susceptible to the dangling of large checks—in at least one instance, $100,000 per video—than their peers with cushier employment arrangements. As Pool put it in an appearance on The Ben Shapiro Show after the indictment’s unveiling, he gets these kinds of offers all the time. “When someone reaches out to us, I say, ‘Great, cool. Someone handle it and talk to the lawyers,’” Pool told Shapiro. “The lawyers come back, do their due diligence, and then we say sure—or whatever.”

He added, “We have people tweeting at me, like, give the money back. Like dude, let me put it this way, we’re talking to our legal department.”

None of this impresses Cenk Uygur, founder of TYTs, a progressive online news network, who has appeared on Pool’s show—or at least he did before the news of the host’s RT connection. “Come on, man, somebody gives you $100,000 a video?” Uygur says. “That makes me ask, are other people giving you $100,000 a video? And who are they? If this is so normal, how often does this happen for right-wing media? And who else is giving you money for propaganda?”

As for Johnson, he’s continuing to rack up views on YouTube. Despite his association with Tenet, he’s had little trouble getting prominent Republicans to appear, including sitting members of Congress. The Benny Show goes on.

[fizziepopangel]

“Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin’ here rent free… crack is expensive.”

Angel Dust's pet pig is so important to him because he manifested Fat Nuggets into existence by accident and he's afraid he won't be able to do it again if something were to happen to him & the comforting little pig companion is almost the spitting image of his favorite childhood stuffed animal.

Despite his line of work, Angel is actually demisexual and hasn't been genuinely attracted to someone sexually in a long, long time.

His love language is touch and words of affirmation but both of those things are hard for the demon to accept and believe are genuine because of the abuse he’s suffered in his line of work.

Angel absolutely hates spiders. He threw an absolute fit when he realized what his demon form was in hell, and had a slight breakdown when he realized he would only look more arachnid-like as he learned to change into his most powerful demon form.

When he was alive, Angel hated being a part of his family’s mob dealings and did his best to stay out of it all. Being forced to participate was what prompted him to start using drugs as a teenager.

Unbeknownst to everyone but Husk, Angel has tried to unalive himself multiple times in hell. He was pissed when he kept respawning.

Husk became the person Angel trusts most to keep him company when he's feeling down. The cat demon isn't sure why since he doesn't find his own presence very comforting, but he often finds himself listening to the pink spider demon vent at the bar or sitting in his room letting Angel dress him like a doll so he'll feel less down. Angel sometimes pretends to be sad so Husk will let him dress him up.

While Angel was an addict when he was alive and did die of an overdose, his overdose was due to the drugs he purposely bought being laced with fentanyl, causing the high dose he usually did to achieve his desired high to become deadly.

Upon his arrival in hell, his family did attempt to take him in, assuming he would be more of a willing participant in their lifestyle. He was not.

Despite his overly cocky and his overly sexual demeanor, Angel actually prefers physical intimacy that isn’t necessarily sexual at all like cuddling or cooking with someone he cares for, even in a platonic sense.

Angel’s favorite item of clothing is a pig onesie that he got as a birthday gift from Alastor. He hadn’t expected much from the radio demon, so the snuggly onsies was a pleasant surprise and he often wears it at the hotel to decompress and relax.

Fat Nuggets has a little set of spider themed pajamas that were gifted to him by Charlie and Angel absolutely loves having his little piggy pal wear them.

Charlie, Vaggie, and Husk are the only ones Angel trusts enough to have check in on Fat nuggets when he’s at work. He has candid photos of all of them doing cute things with the little demon pig hanging on the wall above his bed.

If given the option between coffee and tea, Angel will choose tea, but he only drinks chamomile-vanilla tea with extra sugar.

Because of his drug use, Angel developed an eating disorder. While he’s in recovery and eats relatively well now, Angel has gotten into the habit of checking in with his friends to make sure that they’ve all eaten as well, even going as far as to make small meals to bring to them to ensure that they eat enough.

Angel started taking a regimen of anti-depressants and attending therapy soon after he began staying at the Hazbin Hotel. Charlie is the only one who knows about it and she often reminds him to take his medication and encourages him to continue therapy.

[veliseraptor]

Top five canon ships from your fandoms?

canon ships? what're those. also I mean. how "canon" are we talking, like, explicitly canon, implicitly canon, they-get-together-at-the-end canon, they-at-some-point-were-a-thing canon, plausible-deniability-canon, it's complicated

but okay, to try to take this in the spirit it was probably meant

Hua Cheng/Xie Lian from TGCF. one of the most incredible things about TGCF is that it actually made me wholeheartedly and enthusiastically ship a completely canon and...relatively functional...ship. I mean, they've definitely got their dysfunction (Hua Cheng get some self esteem and maybe pedestalize Xie Lian a little less challenge) but they're weirdo4weirdo and friends in a delightful way that makes me really enjoy how they do it. I'm not saying they invented love, as the saying goes, but they're certainly good at it.

Felix Harrowgate &/ Mildmay from Doctrine of Labyrinths. look, if there's explicit incestuous attraction at at least one point I think it counts. this is one of those ships that straddles the line between & and / for me a lot of the time, because any sexual stuff aside it's so intense and intimate that, like. it might as well be a "classic" ship, just without the sex, and we're agreed that something doesn't have to have sex in it to be a ship, right? and there is the canonical one-sided incestuous attraction, so, like. it's not even completely without the sex.

Vegas Theerapanyakul/Pete Saengtham from Kinnporsche. cannot believe that this is canon thing that actually happened in a show that I watched. made 4 me. incredible. forever grateful to Kinnporsche for giving me this gift.

Caleb Widogast/Essek Thelyss from Critical Role. I feel like it's canon enough? maybe that's controversial but I'm going to stand by it. fascinating dynamic, two fucked up people being fucked up together, atonement arcs that aren't usually my thing but crossed with a wondrous amount of wizard hubris and people who are both kind of bad at being people. I'm into it.

Chu Wanning/Taxian-jun from 2HA. this spot was more of a toss-up but ultimately I settled on these two. I specify Taxian-jun here because while I really enjoy Mo Ran/Chu Wanning other flavor it's truly the Maximum Fucked Up that gets/got me. the hate/love/obsession of it. so good, I'm rolling around in it like a cat in catnip. thank u Meatbun for giving this to me with all its laundry list of associated trigger warnings

I feel like everyone should know how fucking tempted I was to put xuexiao on here. because it was very tempted. they're so close, you guys, I would argue implicitly canon, but, well. probably not what you meant, anon.

a number of what I'd call "plausible deniability canon" ships from mxtx, really. but again, spirit of the question.