#theres so many ways people online talk about learning it

[bare1ythere]

Im so frustrated trying to learn kanji literally nothing I've tried gets it to stick in my head

[orcelito]

Loving Fate/Samurai Remnant so much actually. I love all the sword fighting. The gameplay is just so fun. But there r all sorts of informational things about 1600s Japan, specifically Edo and its neighborhoods and all sorts of cultural things, both big and small, and it's just. So Fun!!!!

I've gone looking some things up online for additional information on a few things, so I've learned things from that, too!!! It's just a really fun process

[antisocialsharky]

ASPD: The Desire for and Run from Intimacy

This post will only contain my personal opinion and experience. It may not be applicable to all other people with ASPD and may likewise be relatable to people who do not have it.

I am only going to be talking about emotional intimacy, but this post is definitely also applicable to the other type of intimacy!

I'll make myself pretty vulnerable in this post, by discussing my personal experience, so you better not make me regret that!

Abbreviations:

ASPD = Antisocial Personality Disorder

ASPD is a disability caused by prolonged childhood trauma (with many possible variations), that develops in order to protect the brain from said trauma, or rather to help the brain deal with it in some way!

While the consequences of this in the context of intimacy, look different for every person with ASPD, many do report: a difficulty with developing bonds, having problems trusting people & giving away control, losing feelings for people quickly and abruptly/getting "bored" of people, responding extremely to arguments, having problems dealing with peoples emotions/ problems with being close to people etc.

This may be due to a variety of factors, but does often tie back to having no or few positive experiences with intimacy, having not learned how to exist in relationships properly/a lack of being socialized, not having the necessary prosocial emotions and mechanisms to deal with it and other similar things.

While this causes some people with ASPD to develop a brain, that does not have a need for emotional intimacy at all, others develop a brain, that craves the emotional intimacy it has been denied, but which will also fight said intimacy at every turn.

Thats as much generalized info as I can give you, as the exact representation of this is highly individual, but I will offer my personal experience on the following slides!

What you need to know is that I was accidentally neglected for huge parts of my childhood and teens and did not get my emotional and social needs met most of the time, while also knowing that my parents were theoretically capable of that, as they were giving everything I lacked to my sibling.

This caused me to grow up with a burning desire for intimacy, while being disappointed by people time and time again, failing to actually develop the things needed to experience this intimacy and partially growing to resent it and viewing it as "weak" and "bad".

Ever since then I have been stuck in what I like to call the "ASPD stages of running". Theres different points in getting close to people (in any nature of a relationship), that'll send me running and feeling like I am "weak" for wanting it, or as if being close to people is the worst thing that could happen.

The stages (simply put) are:

1. Desiring/Daydreaming about my dream relationship

2. Looking at peoples relationships/Looking at people with the intent of getting closer to them

3. Talking to people (online or irl)

4. Getting closer / being friends with people

5. Being friends with people for longer

Optionally:

6. Getting so close that a romantic relationship may happen

7. The moment of getting in the relationship / the days after

8. Being in the relationship for a bit

At any of those stages, I'll very likely have one or multiple moments where my ASPD will try to get the better of me and will try to convince me to just run away, drop contact and never talk about it again. Even just admitting to this and talking about it is hard as fuck, because it is so deeply ingrained in my brain to see emotional intimacy as a weak and dangerous thing.

What this will look like exactly really depends on the person and situation, but things that have happened in the past were:

• blocking the person and everyone I am friends with and pretending I am no longer alive

• my brain fixating on their faults in order to give me a good reason to hate them so I don't get closer to them and can hold them at arms length

• responding less often/more dryly or ignoring messages entirely

• not replicating the energy of the conversation/relationship

• staging an incident so I ruin the relationship

• running at the first signs of a disagreement

• avoiding people when they are emotional

• feeling uncomfortable around people as a whole => isolating

• beating myself up about letting it happen again

• impulsively bumping the relationship to another stage, just to immediately regret it (in a "fuck that has consequences" way)

• shutting off all my emotions, dissociate or otherwise make sure to stop the feelings (or just lose them automatically)

To put it in a shorter and more simple way, I'll usually either get the fuck outta there, or make sure to change the relationship/my personal position in the relationship to a more comfortable and less vulnerable and intimate level. This may also just look like me shutting off, becoming distant, or seeming mad, when all I am is overwhelmed by the intimacy and grossed out that I actually need and desire that.

As you can possibly imagine, that is not the most useful thing, as it causes issues in relationships, cuts friendships short and makes dealing with people a lot harder!

The most frustrating thing about this for me though is, that even if the most perfect friend or partner came along and even if the relationship would work at first, I am very very likely to crash it against the wall, simply because my brain cannot handle having the things, that it needs and desires.

It desires a hug and runs from the one who offers it.

It needs help and bites the hand that does.

It needs love and gets grossed out by whoever offers it.

It wants attention and can't handle it when it gets it.

It wants gifts, but doesnt know what to do when it gets them.

Whatever it wants, it can't have, so it keeps wanting, keeps yearning, keeps desiring and has to watch itself be unable to accept any of it.

And if that sounds painful, thats because it is.

Its a vicious kind of pain when you have to watch yourself ruin yet another thing, because your brain can't handle it, while you scream at it in frustration to get its act together, because it also is everything you desperately need.

ASPD sucks when it comes to intimacy and it especially sucks when it comes to talking about it, or being honest about these problems. It developed to protect me from being too "weak" to deal with the trauma and now its practically preventing me from showing any "weakness" or seeking out what previously hurt me. Which wouldn't be this bad, if I didn't still have this kid in me that just wants to be loved and daydreams about all the things, the ASPD hates.

When your shell disagrees with your core and you're not strong enough yet to break your shell, what does that really leave you with, other than curling up into a spiky ball and letting the shell do its job? I know I still need the protection, but I wish it wasn't actively preventing me from learning to live without it.

First posted on my instagram (same @)

[mommyownsmee]

Hi 🥺 (idk if i can call you mommy, i don’t want to be disrespectful)

Do you have any advice for someone who is mot sure about their sexuality?

i have been always attracted to men mostly, but for few years now i have this feeling that i might be attracted to women too… i’m 23 and well when my friends and colleagues were experimenting with theirs sexualities i was nit a part of this ( strict and overprotective parents) and now that i have a freedom to experiment, theres no one to do it with. And i dint want to lead anyone when im nit sure of my sexuality.

Any advice maybe? you have this aura around yourself that ,made me feel safe enough to ask this, i hope i didn’t push or step over any boundaries.

🥺🙈

Hey sweety! 𝒙𝒙

Of course, you can call me mommy if that feels comfortable for you! I'm honored that you feel safe enough to reach out with such a personal question. Exploring your sexuality can be both exciting and a little daunting, especially if you haven't had the chance to do so until now.

First, it's important to remember that sexuality is a spectrum and can be fluid. It's perfectly normal to be attracted to different genders at different times in your life.

I wrote down some tips for you that helped me too:

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Self-Reflection

Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings regularly. Reflect on moments when you felt attraction towards someone, regardless of their gender. This can help you identify patterns and understand your emotions better.

Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you become more in tune with your inner self and feelings. Sometimes, our busy lives make it hard to notice subtle changes in our attractions and desires.

Past Experiences: Reflect on your past crushes, relationships, and attractions. Were there any moments when you felt drawn to someone of the same gender? Understanding your past can provide insights into your current feelings.

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Educate Yourself

Books and Articles: There are many excellent resources on sexuality and sexual orientation. Consider reading works by authors like Lisa Diamond ("Sexual Fluidity") or Emily Nagoski ("Come As You Are").

Documentaries and Videos: Visual media can be very powerful. Look for documentaries on LGBTQ+ experiences or TED Talks that discuss sexuality. These can provide diverse perspectives and relatable stories.

Websites and Forums: Websites like Scarleteen and forums like Reddit’s r/bisexual or r/lgbt are full of people sharing their own journeys and advice.

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Join Supportive Communities

Online Communities: Websites and social media groups can offer a sense of belonging and support. Platforms like Reddit, Tumblr, and Facebook have groups dedicated to exploring and discussing sexuality. I also have a Telegram group that you can join at any time.

Local LGBTQ+ Group: Check for local community centers or groups. Attending meetings or events can provide face-to-face support and friendships with people who understand what you’re going through.

Support Groups: Some areas offer support groups specifically for people questioning their sexuality. These can be safe spaces to express your feelings and learn from others.

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Take It Slow

No Pressure: Give yourself permission to explore your sexuality at your own pace. There’s no rush to label yourself or come to a definitive conclusion.

Exploration: If you feel comfortable, try going on dates or meeting people from different genders. This doesn’t mean you have to jump into a relationship right away; casual and friendly interactions can be very telling.

Experimentation: Experiment with your sexuality in ways that feel safe and comfortable for you. This could be through fantasizing, watching different kinds of media, or even engaging in conversations with friends.

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Communicate Openly

Honesty: When you start dating, be upfront about your journey with potential partners. Most people appreciate honesty and will understand that you’re still figuring things out.

Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with anyone you’re exploring with. Make sure they understand your situation and respect your pace and comfort level.

Feedback: Ask for feedback from those you trust. Sometimes, friends and close ones can provide perspectives that you might not have considered.

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Seek Professional Guidance

Therapists and Counselors: Look for professionals who specialize in LGBTQ+ issues. They can provide a safe space to explore your feelings without judgment.

Sex Educators: Professionals in this field can offer practical advice and information about sexuality, helping you understand your feelings better.

Support Networks: Some areas have networks of professionals who provide counseling and support specifically for those exploring their sexuality.

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Personal Tips

Self-Acceptance: Embrace the journey and be kind to yourself. It’s okay to feel uncertain and to take your time in understanding your sexuality.

Stay Informed: Keep learning and stay curious. The more information and perspectives you gather, the more comfortable you might feel with your own sexuality.

Community Resources: Utilize local community resources such as LGBTQ+ centers, hotlines, and support groups. They often offer free or low-cost services for those exploring their sexuality.

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Remember, there's no "right" way to discover your sexuality. It's a personal journey, and it's okay to take your time. You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled, and understanding your sexuality is a part of that.

I'm always here to talk if you need more support or just someone to listen. You didn't push any boundaries, and I'm glad you reached out. Take care of yourself, and trust your feelings—they are valid.

[trashworldblog]

What is hmbomberguy (I can’t spell) ur reblogs are making me so curious but I cannot handle getting into more content/ content drama rn.

hi! yes. so hbomberguy is one of those 2hr long video- twice a year or less youtubers. who make content exploring a topic (like plagerism on youtube, vaccines and autism, etc).

his new video talks about video essay type youtubers who steal all their writing from documentries, books, articles, etc. and makes thousands of dollars off of other peoples work.

james sommerton is the main focus of the video, but he also shows how iiluminaughtii stole from documentries (and even listed the piriting site she watched it from as a source? lol) and internet historian stole an entire article, format, visuals, and all, and got 10 million views for it (and stole so much his video got taken down) and theres this other video game guy that got hired at ign and the got fired from ign for piriting and is a homophobic right wing guy?? (details are fuzzy, this is a 4 hour video i watched once, forgive me).

um. but, the james sommerton stuff just gets crazier and crazier the way this guy just makes a ton of money by lying to his community. he ends up accidently stealing work from one of his patreon members (he stole on purpose, i assume he didnt know who he was stealing from was a patron). he asked and got thousands of dollars to mame a fake (?) film studio that has made no films, and only says theyre in preproduction for a new film every 10 months. he also, yknow, steals from queer voices, basically harming his own community for profit. and when he's called out for stealing, he either shouts homophobia or shifts the blame to his co writer, who probably knows nothing about the plagerism.

anyways. its a bit of a drama thing. but honestly its a lot about how and why we should care about the art and media we consume online, and just how many people who look like they have their life together and are making lots and lots of content, seemingly on their own or close, actually are just stealing from talented people. it heals a bit of that imposter syndrome for people that do make genuine content online, and shows the consumers what making too much too quick actually means for the content they enjoy. the get the equivalent of meat grinded facts mixed with misinformation, subtly changed quotes, and 0 sources, or a laundry list of unorganized and unlabled sources if they want to learn more.

also i like this tweet. summarizes it well for me.

um. but thats my thoughts on it. i liked it because it reminds me that people who are churning out content one-man-show style aren't making the greatest stuff. i struggle with feeling like my work takes too long. but this was a great reminder that im actually making something good (i hope!), or at least, something that is truely coming from me. so its gonna take time to do it. but it'll be worth it because it'll be coming from me. (and also good. hopefully)

also the money hbomberguy is making off this video is going to the people james stole from. so thats really nice.

[maxellminidisc]

I've said this for years but the way the community absolutely has an undiscussed dislike or idk disregard for closeted people has bothered me for years. Yeah theres that sheen of being understanding but I've seen and had to have so many conversations with people to have more empathy for closeted people, especially closeted partners because I understand full well how complicated that is. Btw I'll be using gay as an umbrella term for most of the following cause I'm sometimes uncomfortable with using the q word too much, please respect that.

Like it got especially bad after gay marriage became legal here in the US and most of Western Europe and like every mostly white gay living in liberal areas started acting like everyone should be out already and if you weren't you were idk probably ashamed of yourself, or worse someone faking it. You become some kind of half baked gay person who their behavior implied couldn't possibly connect to queerness in the right way.

But like it doesn't work like that. Some of us very much live in unsafe places to do that and we also don't have the financial privilege to leave to safer states/countries or move out of homophobic/transphobic households. I can't imagine especially how disabled and closeted members of our community feel trapped by these kind of circumstances.

Plus some of us live in cultures where the emphasis on family and community is an essential tenant of our makeup and learning to separate ourselves from the abuse present in those communities towards us is difficult, much like any abusive relationship. There is so much nuance, especially outside the lense of whiteness, that out people sometimes seem to forget or even dismiss instead of helping to foster relationships or community to help the people in their lives who are closeted find refuge safely.

And it really comes to a head when out people I know date closeted people. They seem understanding enough at first but then start questioning if the person they're dating "actually really loves" them if they're not willing to out themselves and the conversation can at time turn progressively meaner as if closeted people are all inheritly selfish. Yes it is a romantic notion for someone to risk everything to be openly with you, and its something frankly all of us deserve including closeted people, but life is far more dangerous and complex than that and I think some people have forgotten that.

And look, I even empathize with open people in that kind of circumstance cause yeah the pressure of having to keep something that incredibly special to you under wraps can be very daunting. But often I've found, most open people have a chosen community to fall back on and talk about it with because they're not as inhibited or cut off from the larger, while closeted people often dont have anyone except their partner because being closeted has severed most pathways of finding the community. Their partners are usually their first connection to the community.

I even sometimes think this sort of mind set extends into how white people perceive gay poc as inherently closeted too. We're either not open enough or being closeted is weaponized against us. Like we could be out and white people still presume we're not and act like were straight lite and we could talk about how we're closeted and white people, again, think it's ok to treat us like straight lite. This is especially evident when we say something that makes them uncomfortable and angry. Like the only time they take cultural nuance into account is to use it to dismiss us, as if all of us must be in hiding and cant be as gay as them.

Point is, being closeted is complicated and frankly miserable as someone whose got one foot in and one out lol and although some peoples only space to be open is online, it doesnt makes them fake, doesnt make them less gay or trans, or less part of this community. It doesnt make them less worthy or deserving of love and community despite their circumstances.

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

How do I choose bugs to transform into characters?

I go off of vibes or specific quality of the bugs! For stick figures the usual first step is searching "___ colored bugs." For certain features like for Ballista, I search "what bugs can shoot things." Other good options you have is looking up interesting bug species online or scrolling through bugblr or anthro bugs people post!

AND ALSO I did not come up with every single bug. @grapeenthusiast and @tatos-stick-pile have helped a LOT

But a few examples are: I chose Violin Mantis for King because Violin Mantis are super long and have a little crown on their head, while King's main features are his height and the crown at first.

I chose a bombardier beetle for Ballista, because the mercs each have something unique about them and I wanted to drive home the shooting thing in a unique way since I can't make him shapeshift like in canon.

And lastly, for Victim I went with a locust, focusing more on the vibes. Locusts are fascinating, since every locust was once a grasshopper but they go through a physical change that makes them into locusts. Similar enough to their death and design change, and locusts also have A LOT of symbolism and story behind them

And of course, its always good to talk with others and ask for advice! Its insanely hard to learn about lots of bugs because theyre so interesting and theres SO many different species! It can be hard and overwhelming so ask a friend who likes bugs to help you brainstorm!

[sasterisk]

Why do you love Suitloon so much? Also can you make more art of them thank you...

I am SO GLAD YOU ASKED I will now be explaining why I adore Suitloon. (This is gonna get long)

During my first viewing of Season 2, I was absolutely hooked on Suitcase! I related to her a lot, being in middle school at the time I was figuring out life, and being a student with ADHD made me feel out of place and like others were taking advantage of me at times. I also related a lot to Balloon, as I was trying to prove myself to a strictly education-focused mother, it felt like I was nothing but a slacker in her mind, much like how Nickel views Balloon during season 2.

Besides my own relation to these characters, I'd like to talk about what happens in the show itself to solidify my adoration of Suitloon as a ship both platonic and romantic: (I know that Balloon is on the aro-ace spectrum, but I was shipping them before that was said. Objects in object shows having "sexualities" involving sex is a debatable thing as these are kids shows and I've had many debates with online friends on if objects would even have the... ahem... anatomy, let alone a sex drive OR the social idea of gender and sex existing within the object show universes. Do what you will, I see Balloon as demiromantic and Suitloon is bi4bi.)

Name a pair of characters in this show that are more devoted to each other and willing to sacrifice themselves for the other, I can't think of any, I find that Suitcase and Balloon are so intertwined with each other and that they truly and deeply care about each other.

Evidence of this devotion and sacrifice? I gotcha...

The elimination scene of Episode 11: Balloon knew how everyone would vote, seeing Suitcase being fed up with how Nickel treated them, and voted for himself to make it look like he voted for Nickel, and Suitcase voted for him, protecting her place in the alliance while sacrificing his place in the game. Suitcase, however, finally stands up for herself, calling out Nickels unjust behavior towards the both of them and sacrificing her place in the alliance to vouch for Balloons good character.

It's important to remember that Suitcase was friends with Balloon throughout the whole of the show! I don't see her being too socially unaware, she knew that everyone thought Balloon was a horrible person, especially two of her other friends Nickel and Baseball. She also expressed some skepticism of Balloon in Episode 6, over his previous manipulation in season 1, which they HEALTHILY COMMUNICATE ABOUT *cough* Nickel learn something here pls *cough*, and in Episode 10 her anxiety/hallucinations question which of her bonds are solid or hollow. Despite this, she CHOOSES to be close with Balloon because she genuinely cares about him, sacrificing her social stance to the other contestants AND taking a risk in trusting him at first, before they form a very solid bond.

[NOT CANON] Meanwhile, Balloon is also not socially unaware, he knows everyone hates him, and while being friends with Suitcase, I like to imagine he would think "I should stop associating with her so that she doesn't suffer the other contestants judgement."

Rain On Your Charade. That whole scene, enough said.

5. Mazed and Confused, especially this scene:

6. Mazed and Confused part 2:

Theres many other instances that show their devotion to each other as well, but these are a few of the most important and my favorite ones!

Overall, the main reason why I love Suitloon is the raw devotion they have for each other in the face of adversity. Suitcases story is one of overcoming social pressure and anxiety, learning when and how to stand up for both herself and for someone she cares about. Balloons story is learning when the approval and judgement of others matters, as well as finding people who genuinely care about him and learning how important these people are. These stories intertwine in a very natural and believable way and make these two feel destined to be together in the end, whether that's platonic or romantic.

I also find it important to bring up this chart:

Basically, Nickel is the ringleader, Baseball is a reinforcer/outsider, Suitcase is a defender, and Balloon is the target. The rest of the II cast fall between reinforcers, outsiders, and assistants. The way Nickel treats Balloon is textbook bullying, not one other person stands up for Balloon publicly, and Suitcase is doing the right thing standing up for him.

Theres also A BUNCH of other reasons I love this ship that have to do with my own preferences,

Friends to Lovers > Enemies to Lovers sorry Nickloon fans.

Its got a "Romeo and Juliet" kind of dynamic with how Nickel and Baseball play into the situation

The Nickel-Suitcase-Balloon dynamic reeks of "overprotective father hating his daughters boyfriend" as well (like hotel transylvania type shit)

Their dynamic is sickly sweet they are so cute oh my god

While on Instagram and Wattpad in yee olden days (2017-2020) I got a bit of a reputation for being a Suitloon fanatic and played into it, I was dubbed "The Queen of Suitloon" for a moment. It gave me a place in the fandom, and I cherish my time there greatly.

TLDR: Suitcase and Balloon are devoted to each other and that's why I love them so much.

And yes I will make more art with them eventually :P

[damnfandomproblems]

Both of these asks did not read my ask

~~~~

"I am so happy for this person that they have never had to experience the things that would make people bitter uncomfortable and upset about this kind of thing but this entire response is so rude and disrespectful ."

Cool. Good job assuming you know my life or struggles. Children shouldnt be shamed for having fun. I also literally said that they should be taught to be respectful and not to mock the disorder.

Tiktok is horrible about filters and pushing things to you that you dont want to see. Ofc its going to upset you to see kids do this all the time. The algorithm doesnt give you a choice.

What those people do online spreads misinformation and has actual consequences for people who are actually living with those things.

No one said they didnt.

If you’re old enough to be online you’re old enough to understand the consequences of your actions and when behavior is inappropriate.

Wrong. No one taught them. Humans do have a sense of right and wrong, but thats all it is. A sense. It takes experience and wisdom to learn what actually harms other and what doesnt. We are not born with these answers and no one is teach these children these things. Our society has changed drastically and basic respect and self discipline is almost a thing of the past.

Screaming at kids for just doing what they believe is having fun will not fix the problem of lack or respect and consideration they hold for others.

They make it much harder for self diagnosis to be taken seriously and when those who actually have something mention it online it gets discredited because of these people. It is an actual problem in our community’s and I do not appreciate the lack of understanding and dismissive nature this person has.

Indeed. It is a problem. But again shaming kids is not the solution. Doing so will just hinder their creativity and make them feel insecure.

Many of these kids are dealing with problems of their own. Theres a lot of neglect going on due to parents allowing their children to be raised on the internet. This is also causing the problems in behaviour we are dealing with. Many are depressed and are just looking to have a bit of joy in their life.

You cant just take it away from them. You cant tell them they arent allowed. You arent their parents but shaming them will just cause resentment and more aggressive behaviour.

If theres anyone who has a lack of understanding and dismissive nature it is you.

~~~~

The person was probably talking mostly about teenagers and adults doing this kind of thing not kids because that’s mostly who do it and they know better.

You should never assume some people "should" know better about niche topics. There are still adults and teens who arent terminally online or look for drama. Many just see a cool concept, get inspired, make a video and move on with their day.

Also from the way this person talks they have clearly never had to deal with anything (mental illness or otherwise ) that was later made trendy ( but only if you have a fun version obviously).

More assumptions. I dont owe you my diagnosis report.

I was relentlessly bullied for things I can’t control you can’t even begin to understand how it feels to log on one day and see countless people acting out stereotypes of the thing people torment you for and spreading wild amounts of misinformation.

:)

Because that’s a massive part of the problem

MISINFORMATION BEING SPREAD

Correct. Misinformation is a problem. But you are attacking the wrong people.

Cutting off the flowers but leaving the roots.

It may be fun and games to you but to people who actually have those things it’s incredibly hurtful and genuinely damaging irl and online there is no way to fake it without spreading misinformation

You know what's also damaging? Telling children to kill themselves over stuff like this. Because that's what a lot of people do. Ive seen it happen here on tumblr countless times. Blogs disappearing and many other going quiet only to then at some point have a family member or friend come on and announce their suicide on the page or on a different blog.

No one os saying the lack of respect, consideration and the abundance of misinformation ISNT a problem.

But driving people to suicide is not a solution. Shaming people for having fun just playing pretend is not the solution.

And yes there are those that know what they are doing is wrong. That still does not justify harassing them or suibaiting them. It does not matter how much it upsets you, you dont get to decide a random stranger on the internet deserves to die for it.

~~~~

Honestly i dont care what kids do for fun

My elder sister got really upset at our niece (10) for making an OC with a split personality because its "problematic" and shes met people who actually have DID so she cant stand her making a "disrespectful" character.

Its stupid. Our niece was just having fun and meant zero disrespect to people who actually deal with these kind of mental disorders.

Read this 10 times please ^^^

Its important that children learn about these things. Learn what they are and how they can affect the people that have them. Im not trying to say they shouldnt, but we shouldnt shame kids for having fun with the concept of these things either.

Note that i absolutely said this ^^^

Unfortunately the kids who started doing this trendy stuff were never taught about these disorders besides people online and eachother. But they werent wrong to be having fun with it. Just they should have been taught how to be respectful and not mock people who have these disorders and to learn that them pretending to have "alters" or characters in their mind to cope with boredom and the general shittyness of life is not the same as someone who was traumatized to the point of their mind actually splitting into two (or more) separate personalities and people (among other things) in order to protect itself.

Biggest paragraph here so how did you miss me saying this

Its the new "kinning" thing in alot of ways and really kids just need to be taught discipline and respect towards others. Many think being a mean bully is "edgy and cool" but when i was a child all the "edgy and cool" teens were scene kids and they were ACTUALLY the sweetest people i knew because they knew what it was like to be bullied and hurt by their peers. Its just a big problem of kids not being properly taught how to behave around people. Zero consequences for their actions and not learning to take responsibility for them too

Like seriously how do you read my ask this badly to have missed this

~~~~

I never said there weren't any problems. Especially about misinformation and people's behaviour. My point was about how no one should be shamed, harassed, anything else for exploring DID and the like as a concept.

There are better things you can do to alleviate the problems you are facing that ISNT driving people off the internet and to suicide. This "solution" is incredibly prevalent in these communities and only creates more negative stigma around people with these disorders, so i suggest you work on that first.

The behaviour of people, especially children cannot be fixed by the DID and neurodivergent community alone, but people will be more amenable to listening to you about your issues if you suggest compromise and understanding.

They are humans with their own problems going on and you need to treat them as such. You will find people who are completely unwilling, but you need to not focus so much on them and instead move on to paying attention to the people who are willing. Eventually the people who are willing will outnumber those that aren't. Just learn to stop treating people like shit and assuming they are always intentionally malicious and you'll find a lot more people are willing to help you.

Anon is replying to two several asks relating to Problem #4978.

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

a good reason to leave for me:

i honestly think it would be safer for me and therians to not be in the same space sometimes haha. P-shifting isn't safe for many and it can really hurt others.

Although I would love to stay, I know that it's probably safer for everyone to no longer teach it and keep to myself about things that involve how to shift and such.

P-shifting isn't a joke and can harm people who suffer from mental issues and other things of that sort. Its just not safe to teach in a large public space. It's something only some can stomach and be safe while doing. Plus some communities that are too unregulated exist and may mess with people's reality and how they perceive it. Some are too open to allow people to start p-shifting right off the bat and it's just too dangerous that way. (including those that say "oh just wait you will shift eventually but you cant control it at all" those are even worse.)

Theres a very good reason why newer communities are very apprehensive about teaching, or telling, or allowing new people who know nothing about it just hop in and start shifting. Usually if you are coming to the "learning" community (as in, you are following steps laid out by others to understand your identity) there is guidelines, there are warnings, etc. It's just too risky to not follow these guidelines and not listen to the warnings.

Dont start p-shifting right when you find out. Take the time to start a journal. Understand that what you are getting into isn't something that will make you cool or quirky. You risk your mental health if you are not careful. You have to be born to be a p-shifter. You must first mental shift before you can even think about p-shifting. P-shifting is not easy and will take years to even get to a point where you start getting somewhere physically.

The list goes on. When someone who is teaching shifting slacks in saying these things, you can harm someone. It takes a very long time to even get to the point where you may be ready to p-shift. Some never will p-shift. You have to accept these realities too. Not to mention how some older guides, although effective, can be so incredibly risky. (Such as completely shutting out the world and being an animal 24/7. Some people just take it too far and do it too early and ruin themselves.) Its just not worth it sometimes.

Thats why I'm leaving Tumblr. Too open, not safe for neither me nor others looking in. I know I usually don't have these sorts of posts, but I just saw someone in an anon saying how unstable their reality and they were after lurking in the community and it just.... its just so hard to see. Nobody deserves that sort of mental torture. Sometimes I forget that p-shifting actually can be dangerous to some if nobody teaches how important it is to regulate yourself, check in on yourself, and remember that p-shifting isn't for the faint of heart.

It's only for those who have spent so much time over years of their journey, exploring themselves, askong questions, taking breaks, questioning themselves so many times, and checking in, to finally be able to claim that they are able to p-shift. (There is so much more to it than that obviously.) My fourth year of shifting is coming up, and after so long I might be ready to leave the online community permanently and start my journey. (of physically shifting i mean. I spend more time teaching others rather than doing the practice itself right now lol. When i say p-shifting im trying to refer to the whole process, but really talking about the mental shifting and phantom shifting etc. Sorry if its been unclear, many know the whole community as "p-shifters" when in reality "p-shifters" are only those who havw actually preformed a p-shift. I havent yet in my conscious memory so i just call myself a shifter or nonhuman.)

Please be safe. Please, if you are curious about the p-shifting community, remember that it is a mixed bag and not for everyone. As always any community can be a mixed bag, but p-shifting "learning" communities can spiral and be too lax on the warnings and importance of these warnings.

Thats all. (make sure to read all tags fully too.)

[userm4x]

hey I love your edits and I was just wondering what you use/do to edit your photos? Not to copy, just in awe!

omggg thank you anon!!! the fact u want to know at all means so much 😭💓 especially when theres so many people posting edits that have a much better understanding of how to edit photos than me!!! (may i direct you to the amazing @yesloulou and her gifs..) ask me anything im happy to share and for u to copy my techniques (??) send me any other questions u have if i dont answer them i cud talk abt this all day .. 🫶🫶

so! i use the mobile version of lightroom when im editing photos quickly e.g. on race day, and tbf, its my main editing app. if that doesnt click with u, theres also snapseed which is a google editing app that i also used for a while until i realised lightroom was free (a blessing 😭). I also sometimes use photopea as a rip-off photoshop if i want to do more crazy stuff 🤪🤪🤪

first thing is crop the image if it needs it. i have a preference for portrait photos, just bc i prefer the way they look when posted. i use all sorts of ratios, but my favourites are 3:4 and 5:4 just bc i think they work best with driver portraits! (hot tip: the rule of thirds is soooo helpful!! find a metaphorical 'line' through the photo and line that up with one of the thirds) (lightroom produces the grid automatically when u crop xxx)

the next thing i do with a photo is correct the lighting and colouring. there are plenty of tutorials online and i can go more indepth if u want, but i tend to favour lower contrast with low highlights (bc i hate when u lose detail in highlights. the bane of my existence). its usually the first thing i try, but if it looks horrible i'll try different things. to correct colouring, i use the tint/temperature sliders (im still learning how to intuitively use these rather than messing around and going hm. too purple right before i post). since most of the photos i edit r taken by super talented F1 photographers i rarely have to use curves, but sometimes i do! so i do that as well before i get into the meat of it if needed 😌

then i adjust the tint/temperature & vibrance and saturation until i'm getting the vibe i want (e.g. i love making max photos cooler toned). then i use colour mix to change anything specific about colours in the image (i most commonly use this to make daniel/charles' skin less yellow and more red toned, to soften any redness or to make max's blush pink). then i colour grade!

after that i decide whether the image needs sharpening, extra texture or dehazing, and then i add grain! i prefer a rough, understated grain so that you dont lose loads of the detail from the photo. here's some examples of before and afters of some of my more complex edits:

-> this one was lighting correction and colour correction! i also used curves im pretty sure 😭

-> exposure and contrast changes and colour changes/grading (can we appreciate this photo.. wow)

-> made photo brighter (pretty sure i lowered the highlights..) n changed the temperature of the photo

i hope this helps!!!! if anyone wants me to do like a proper adjustment by adjustment type thing send me an ask and i will do!!! thank you so much kind anon 💖🫵

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Midnight Gaming: Long Live Eggbug

So last night I played Atari 50th anniversary collection, checked socials later to find.... cohost will shut down by the end of the year... aww..

So Atari is a company thats been around for a long while in the gaming industry, all the way back in the 70's with pong and asteroids, leading to the atari 2600 or vcs as it was called and finally leading to thier last console, the atari jaguar which flopped hard. It was a console that was advertised as a true 64 bit console even though it was really just 2 custom 32 bit processors, making it difficult to make games that run well, in the same decade that has the playstation and the nintendo 64. Yeah, "do the math".

Never really got to experience much of Atari when they were a contender in the scene, heck I wasn't even a year old when the Jaguar was launched so it wasn't really a part of gaming that I had a hands on experience with but I have heard of them. In my general interest in all things gaming in my youth, Atari was brought up sometimes in some gaming mags and online media, AVGN is probably for many people how they heard about Atari as he covered some games on the 2600, even did an episode on the failed 5200 and the Jaguar consoles.

So Digital Eclipse (not to be confused with digital extremes, the warframe folks) has done a 50th anniversary collection that has various games from atari's history, including some unreleased games. Naturally since these games can be easily emulated, a collection of old games wouldnt mean much but theres more to this than just that. You also get a bunch supplemental material such as artwork, behind the scenes documents and videos of interviews with several employees and key figures in atari's history, talking about various things. Cliffy B is there too for some reason.

For me its damn fascinating to follow along a timeline of events, looking at various media and playing some games, getting a feel on Atari's journey over the years. You do learn a few things about the company and how it ran at the time and uhhh.. it certanly looks a bit familiar. Developers having to work overtime, upper management ignoring concerns from thier employees, games being marketed beyond what could actually be delivered leading to consumer backlash, employees losing their jobs in mass. Yeah those problems are still around nowadays huh. 50 years later and nobody has really learnt anything, still making the same mistakes that one time led to the most infamous market crashes in history. Funny thing tho, while the games market did indeed crash in 83, leading to several businesses going bankrupt, for the average 2600 player it was just an odd time in which new 2600 games werent made. Because the 2600 had such a massive install base, eventually new 2600 games got made again, even during the time when the Sega Master System and the Nintendo Entertainment System were leading the console scene. To quote one Garry Kitchen "No one told consumers that there had been a crash. No one went to their house and said "You don't like video games anymore"".

Digital Eclipse also did some other games in the documentary style, the art of karateka and llamasoft. I wouldn't mind checking those out as I feel a documentary that covers a particular subject sounds fascinating to put the lenses of an interactive game, though I suppose it does veer a bit close to "edutainment" territory.

So now with that done, lets move onto the.... news. Cohost is announced to be closing down at the end of year with it converting to a read only format in October. I genuinly enjoyed my time on cohost even if it was short. From looking for alternatives to Tumblr, I stumbled onto it and found a chill sort of site that I felt comfortable browsing, chatting with peeps and sharing posts. It was a site that had an independent vibe that was unique and humble compared to some of its contemporaries. Tumblr weared the mask of being queer friendly despite nuking the odd trans blog every now and then, twitter is a cesspit run by that nepobaby bastard, discord seems to have issues with power tripping mods and creeps. A lot of social media seems to either be.full of techbro crypto ai weirdos or algorithmic data-harvesting software or both! But cohost had the vision of a place that didnt had user-unfriendly practices, instead of just making a site that demands engagement from the user for the sake of profit, the team made the site comfortable to browse and post on, letting people build up communities to hang out and chill in. Sadly that ambition wasnt sustainable due to the issues with both work and finance and in the end, it'll all be shut down.

I'll still be posting Midnight Gaming on Cohost until October as well as on tumblr until I find another site to host this series. Maybe I'll try that dreamwidth place I heard about, maybe i'll actually make a neocities site. We'll see what the future holds.

Until then, Rest in Piece Cohost. Hug your local eggbug today.... oh yeah james earl jones passed away too... awful lot of death lately, an old friend on my fathers side recently lost thier wife too. September what the hell you doing?

Hey whatever happened to those prizes that were won during the Swordquest contest?

Thats all for today, see you tomorrow. Feel free to leave any game suggestions or feedbacks. Anons are currently on.

[necroromantics]

Also gonna make things clear cuz I've just been listening to my gf and not engaging but seriously man this is insane.

I'm not a Nazi, in the full screenshots which they cropped out, I said I had another server with absolutely no rules (besides dont be a pedo), and I was saying that in that server, everything was allowed. You people need to understand that not being able to care about something does NOT mean you support it. Its not black or white

I have NEVER said anything or made jokes regarding rape/sa, that is actually one of the things (including pedophilia) that I am very morally against. I have not spent so much of my time helping my friends report their rapists, helping vulnerable people get out of extortion online, and being there for the people in my life who have experienced that just for some randos online to lie to people about me.

The most I have made is your mom jokes and necro jokes, which I personally don't consider morally wrong, and if they are, then I'll work on it, but I don't have the same understanding of things like that. I never learned where the line is like most people have, and thats why Im dedicated to learning it in adulthood

And do not make drug use a moral issue. My "morality" about drug use is completely nonexistent because I grew up in that. I have spent many years heavily involved with drugs, I know exactly what its like, and nothing about drugs is a moral issue.

And here again the same issue of straight up fucking ableism bro. Don't try to shame me for not having conventional morals when you know damn well I, and many other people, struggle with conditions that impact that (ASPD). Hearing about the ableism towards people like me from these guys isn't surprising in the slightest

I'm not gonna say I didn't say those things, cuz like I said, I said those things, I made those jokes, and I've said worse. The difference now is that those things were said more than a year ago. It's insane how you act high and mighty and then judge me on things I said that long ago to friends who made the same jokes and encouraged that kind of behaviour (none of which I talk to anymore, for the exact reason that they encouraged my bad behaviour).

I said what I said, I know it was wrong, I take full accountability. I have spent my time since doing my best to be more than that. I have spent a lot of my time trying to adjust to moral and social norms, even when it gets really difficult and I have to deal with people like this who wont give me space to grow and change for the better.

I have amazing friends and mutuals and people in my life who support me because they know how hard I try. My girlfriend even is a fucking hardass and would NOT have put up with any of my shit if she didn't see how hard I try. I've spent a lot of time with people who are like how I was, people who have done and said much worse things than me, and I understand how uncomfortable and jarring it is. Thats exactly why I'm so passionate about being more than that. And thats why this situation bothers me so much.

You all talk about me and how I mention my disorder as if you're not just shitting on stuff that is directly tied into having ASPD. And to hear that you have a history of that stuff? Im not crazy to say theres a lot of ableism going on here. I will always be open and honest about the person I have been, but I want it to be used as a reference point for how much I've grown and changed since then.

I will always be an advocate for people like me. I will always give support and speak out for those who struggle with being treated like a bad person because of the things they say, not because of who they are. (And if you know anything about people, you know theres a huge difference)

You guys have been on me for MONTHS way after I blocked and went on with my life. In those months you've spent doing nothing but nitpicking everything single thing Ive ever done and constantly spreading negativity, I have been working on myself, and I hope that somewhere along the line, you guys have or will too

But anyways, I needed to get this out. I hope that this blows over and I can continue working on living a life full of joy and love and keeping the good people in my life. And despite everything, I hope that for all of you guys as well, I hope that you can find peace and some happiness where it counts

[vividbaddogs]

ive never really gotten involved with cosplay discourse bc most of it is stupid but apparently sone people have been talking abt bought cosplays vs homemade cosplays and as a maker my head is full of thoughts. keep in mind that ive heard everything secondhand from my roommate (who also cosplays) bc i dont really use other social media (we have a joint cosplay insta i post on sometimes but they do everything else there).

ive been making my own cosplays since i was like 11 or 12, and im lucky enough to have had a mom who knows how to sew and could teach and help me those first few years. my dad is a nerd who was excited when i started cosplaying and going to cons with him and he's always has helped me with props. again, i know im lucky for this, and i had a pretty easy in to the hobby. this is all really just for context for my side here.

cosplay had a bit of a popularity boom over lockdown, because it was a way people could have fun at home, and that's great!! i love seeing people getting into things i love!! especially after being made fun of for it as a teen. but since then, ive noticed that the vast majority of new cosplayers are buying their costumes — and before i go further, i want to emphasize that i do not judge on an individual level whether or not youve made your cosplay, and nobody should. everybody's situation is different and it's important to remember the play part of cosplay. its supposed to be fun — and honestly that's really sad to me. what's even sadder is the amount of people saying things like 'everyone who makes their cosplays are rich' (i am absolutely fucking not, im currently unemployed bc im disabled) or 'if you make your cosplay youre not a cosplayer, youre a cosmaker' (this one doesnt even make sense. why are you alienating the creators of the entire hobby).

i get completely that its an intimidating thing to get into. making cosplays isnt just sewing. its also hair/wig styling, makeup artistry, foamwork, propmaking, etc... the list can really goes on bc it truly can be anything. resin casting, embroidery, beading... it all depends on what youre doing and how you want to do it. and im not saying it isnt a money- and timesink, because obviously you have to invest both of these things into it. but it doesnt have to be all fancy sewing machines and expensive fabrics!

did you know you can sometimes rent sewing machines from libraries? if theres a makerspace near you, thats a fantastic resource (they usually have things like sewing machines and 3d printers, and they usually host classes where you can learn to use their equipment)! youre even likely to find sewing machines at thrift stores! and speaking of thrift stores, bedsheets and curtains make great fabric sources, and if youre lucky you can find a piece you can alter or even just wear as part of the costume! and theres tons of tutorials and resources online for just about everything, even for specific costumes. there are also some good online fabric stores with much more variety and better prices than joanns, and you can look into if theres a place near you that sells recycled and donated remnants/unused fabrics, etc!

and like. idk. maybe thats all common knowledge among the specific group of cosplayers im talking about. theres nothing wrong with still choosing to buy a cosplay. i just ask: do you know how the people who made it are treated at the source you buy from? are they paid fairly? is it made out of cheap polyester and how comfortable is that for you?

i put — very literally, usually — blood sweat and tears into my costumes. im not saying everyone has to do this. im just. the making aspect is the heart of cosplay to me. its clearly not for everyone and thats fine. it just makes me sad to see so many people acting like its some elitist or inaccessible thing when its not

[phemiec]

While I understand your point about ai art, what are your thoughts on tricking people with it, either by making artists unwitting input for the ais (As is the case with dA, pixiv, and many other sites), or by giving paying users (Either patreon, comission, etc) ai outputs without their knowledge (As is the case with Shexyo, an many others)?

I think it's equivalent to copying someone else art style, or in the more egregious instances, just plain art theft for the first example, which is rude and bad but like, has always been a problem in the online art world, and even before. Forgery and art theft is, has been, and will probably always be a thing, AI or not.

For the second example.....maybe this is a spicy take but if you pay someone to provide you with an image, and they give you that image, and you're satisfied with that image, I'm not that fussed about it. I think people should disclose if they used ai to make their art, but the same way I think people should say if they've used photoshop to paint something instead of oil paint. Like if you take a picture of a car and then claim it's a 3D model, that's fuckin wierd and untrue, you still technically made art but it's just dishonest and strange and you're claiming to have a whole skilset you dont have which obviously people are gonna have issues with that.

But like, that guy who won a digital art contest using a an image he compiled from AI, it think thats fun, that made people mad, it made people talk, it challenged them to consider and expand their definitions and that's art in itself. I don't think thats "less art" than someone who painted something by hand, it's a different thing, and theres nothing to stop the person who actually learns art theory and spends 10000 hours doing figure studies from also using AI in their art, but the difference is they will also then have a leg up in knowing how to edit and improve and expand upon AI content, that's how we push our art forward. We need to support open source versions of this technology so its not locked behind paywalls, and then like.....its ours. It makes art, it is art, it's for artists. use it, expand on it, work with it, get wierd with it. I want to see what artists make when we take AI as a challenge to grow and not a threat.

[sageybug]

Ayo any tips on how to embrace the weird? I have unfortunately had societal pressures and norms forcibly baked in to my personality 😔

my ass never checks my anons sorry this is so late but HELLO YES OKAY

THE ESSENCE OF IT IS TO START CREATING STRANGE ART SO THAT YOU NO LONGER FEAR IMPERFECTION!!!

TAKE UP ECLECTIC HOBBIES AND TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT THEM!!! personally ive gravitated to a rotating cast of crochet, painting, singing, etc! eventually you’ll find people who also love these things and you can love them loudly together!

DRESS WEIRDER im serious go to second hand stores or learn how to alter clothes to perfectly suit what you want. i regularly dress like a hobbit, 14 year old emo boy, or a school teacher with a love for outfits that jangle and seriously it makes a huge difference to how i see myself and how i act. if you already look strange then you worry less about doing strange things

CUSTOMISE YOUR SPACE stick things on your walls, your doors, put pins on your jackets or embroider things! take!! up!! space!! make strange clay creatures and put them places you’ll see them and smile! or make some kind of art to put around in public! i had a friend in high school who drew little monsters and hid them around the halls and classrooms. absolutely delightful

ONCE YOU LOOK ABNORMAL, YOU WILL START ATTRACTING PEOPLE WHO LIVE ABNORMAL LIVES AND WHO WILL CREATE A LANGUAGE WITH YOU SO YOU CAN TRANSLATE PARTS OF YOUR SOUL INTO THE WORLD TOGETHER

(p.s. relating to the hobby finding. go do some crafting, go to a pottery class or find a group who paints in a park! there’s many ways to find budget friendly hobbies in your area, facebook groups are good for this in my experience. local gardening groups, roller derby leagues, volunteer work, workshops of all kinds, its easier if youre in a city but theres always some kind of community you can find! if dire you can always find people online. i once joined a discord looking for dnd groups on a whim and ended up in a year long campaign with a bunch of americans and canadians (im australian lol) and we all made art and had a brilliant time with our make believe world.)

GOOD LUCK AND I HOPE YOU LEARN ALONG THE WAY THAT PEOPLE ARE OFTEN MORE TOLERANT OF A ECCENTRICITIES THAN YOU THINK. IF YOU ARE LABELLED A LITTLE ODD BUT VERY KIND, YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH A LOT. AND WITH THE INSULATION OF STRANGE FRIENDS YOU CAN FORM A FREAK UNION AND FEEL SECURE AND LOVED NO MATTER HOW STRANGE YOU ARE. I WISH THIS FOR EVERYONE ON PLANET EARTH GOODNIGHT