#theres more i just didnt feel like listing them all

[gideonnavsenormousbiceps]

bitchy autistic coded character...save me bitchy autistic coded character

[cannibalcaprine2]

why can i not just fucking open a hud menu or some shit and see a list of everything wrong with me

[capaldiera]

it was so not the point of mash and would have been jarring tbh but like rn i'm wishing father mulcahy had actually talked about religion in more than just little quips. girl what are your thoughts and what things do you like to focus on. btw

[nomaishuttle]

i do fr need to work on differentiating between "actually middleclass" and "doesnt live paycheck to paycheck" lmao bc that is something i struggle with... obviously ik i have more in common with like. even somebody whos fr middleclass disney vacations every year. I know i have more in common with them than i do with bezos but god at least i dont have to see bezos being annoying in front of me every day KJANDJKLNLJD

[texeoghea]

i tried to remember all of the video games/shows/stuff that i still really enjoy thinking about and put them all on one canvas... theres probably still more but these are all the ones i saw/remembered while scrolling back thru this blog to january of last year

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Moving! Moving in two months! Working on moving when I was literally doing this shit exactly a year ago! *SCREAM*

[toastsnaffler]

I will say tho, hanging out w old college friends rlyyy makes me appreciate my current friends

[kcrossvine-art]

Hiiii friendssss! What the FUCK is up. What the fuck is up. What the Fuck is up. On todays cute little cookin excursion we are going to be deep frying things and using a wok. If you dont feel comfortable deep frying, and dont have a wok, im sure theres other ways to do it silly :DDD

I believe in you.

From LotR online we're gonna be making Fried Beetroot Sticks!! 

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes into Fried Beetroot Sticks?” YOU MIGHT ASKSlices of sweet little beated root dipped into a batter with, watch out, special flavors too.

2 Beetroots

Corn flour

Salt 

Red Chilli Powder

Garlic Paste

Baking Soda

Water

Peanut oil

And we'll also be making some horseradish sour cream dip to go along with it;

Sour cream

Prepared horseradish

1 Green onion 

Few splashes of lemon juice

Salt to taste

Ground pepper to taste

"Cooked, tender beetroot sticks are dredged in a light batter and fried to give a crispy exterior and a soft, sweet interior. Served with a bracing horseradish sour cream, this snack is both filling and delicious."- LotRO Tooltip

AND, “what does Fried Beetroot Sticks taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKThis is like homemade fair-food and it sounds like a contradiction but its not

But maybe its just because its fried food? American brained, sorry.

Retains the inherit sweetness to beetroot

And similar to pickled beetroot the sweetness contrasts the spicey of the batter

(which i encourage you to amp up if youd like more spice)

The horseradish sourcream dip is to die for

Measure with your heart for that one, and save some green onion to top it with when you serve

This would pair very well with a lime italian soda or with shaved ice cones

Im always very anxious about deep-frying things, or working with oils at high temperatures, but i didnt run into any complications with this dish. Just make sure to keep best practices and safety precaution in mind, especially with a wok as it can tilt!

. If you dont have corn flour, you can substitute all-purpose flour . If you dont have peanut oil, look up oils with the same smokepoint to decide what else to use

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The recipe stuck out to me, as i was assembling a list of foodstuffs from tolkiens work, for being such a "regular" named food. Also its worth 19 silver 69 copper in the LotR MMO and im immature.

I think the dip has the most room for improvement and tinkering. I've never made horseradish sourcream before, so more practiced tastebuds could perfect a simple thing like this. In the future id also like to try adding red pepper flakes along with the the powder and garlic paste, to give more visual variety and spice. I think cumin in the batter would be a nice midtone flavor too.

I give this recipe a solid 8/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) for its relative simplicity and modularity with things you could add.

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Beetroot Sticks Ingredients:

2 Beetroots

130 grams corn flour

1 tbsp salt 

1 tsp Red Chilli Powder

1 tsp Garlic Paste

1/4 tsp Baking Soda

178 grams Water

432 grams peanut oil

Horseradish Sour Cream Ingredients:

225 grams Sour cream

200 grams Prepared horseradish

1 whole green onion (green and white parts VERY finely chopped)

1 tspn lemon juice

Salt to taste

ground pepper to taste

Beetroot Method:

Peel all beetroots and cut them length-wise into  rectangles.

Combine flour, salt, chilli powder, garlic paste, baking soda, and water in a bowl.

Mix well into a smooth batter.

Heat peanut oil to medium in a wok and dip beet roots into batter. Deep fry until golden brown in color.

Stack beetroots on paper-towel lined plates to cool and dry as you go.

Serve with horseradish sour cream!

Dip Method:

Mix all ingredients

Cover and let stand at room temperature for 1 hour for the flavors to blend.

[hazerun3]

I just saw your post about the difference between passive and swan. I'd like to ask the difference between young swad and dream?

shittier doodle this time cuz Im getting tired but the ramblings are probably more unhinged

I dont have particularly strong feelings on dream so this is gonna be mostly younger swad and comparisons to dream when needed

-Views social interaction as inherently transactional and as a game that he can learn to play (he doesnt realise that in the village he was never going to be a player on equal ground, this is why after his ascension his persona is more deity ified rather than a king or smth like nm cuz he wants to be Above it all and in control.)

-Been obsessed with swan even as passives (His Duty to help people got drilled into him, the village feels entitled to his help and swad slowly grows tired of them, but his little brother is always kind to him and doing things for him feels so much more rewarding [tho eventually the village tries to stifle any attempts swad does to get something nice for his brother which frustrates swad so much and swan not asking for anything and just being happy to see him and trying so hard just to make swad happy, even as hes hurt fuels this.] so the mix of the sense of duty, him being the older brother so self imposing a sense of responsibility and swan being nice to him leads him to adopt a mentality where Swan is the only one whos special and actually cares about him not just what he can do for him, but with the way hes raised by the village he tries desperately to try and do something for swan in return cuz he still feels like hes failing in his part of the social bargain)

-Also the cult village placed sooooo much value on stuff like never being angry, always being happy :), youre not allowed to be mean, you Must be hardworking all the time, visibly showing that youre sad is Evil. And swad seethes constantly cuz no one in this fucking village follows that and the one person who embodies all these values the most is swan (who everyone still hates for reasons inexplicable to swad, who believes theres still a way to get swan out of his outcast status if the village just realises that swan is the kindest soul in this rotten place.)

-Dream maintains a more "child" status in the village even as hes older than when swad fights to "adult" status, seeing it as a way to get more social power cuz he picked up that Adults have more power than Children but lol not for him, he just gets to have more responsibilites, the expectation to cut off swan and no money OR gifts for his work cuz gifts are for children doing chores not working adults and since its both swads duty and the fact that he doesnt have anything to spend it on that wouldnt be spending it unwisely they just dont pay him at all! and also hes an object not an adult to them so rushing to try and be an adult backfired miserably

-Swad loves listening to swan read stories to him, reallly wants to be the Prince who saves the damsel and sets his enemies on fire and he projects that persona

-Both he and dream were taken hunting I think, but dream didnt take to it (he had a knack for archery but as soon as he was told to turn that arrow on an innocent bunny he couldnt do it, his more "child" status helps him get out of it) swad was also aprehensive at first but since he places a lot of importance in being the Older Brother and being responsible (also he wants to kill people) so he shoots the bunny, he feels bad and cries about it to swan but he cant let go of the feeling, the smell of blood, the idea of that being someone who hurt swan

-in my head he killed people already lol (used the hunting trips as cover but his hit list is soooooo long and he gets less and less opportunity...)

-he loves shiny things so much but being materialistic and greedy is one of the sins, swan cant get him anything but he does press little flower ornaments for his brother and so much flower jewlery so that swad can roleplay being a prince.

-he hates everyone soooooooo much <3

[solangeloficawards]

solangelo fic awards 2024 masterpost

happy february! thanks to everyone who submitted this year! we totaled around 139 submissions this year which is always really cool :) it also means unfortunately nominations have to be split up by category, but y'all can always use our handy fic masterdoc!!

click here to vote!

fic masterdoc!

fic nominations by category!:

best angst

best au

best canon complaint

best fluff

best oneshot

best wip

best misc

best series

and our author of the year nominations are as follows!

rosyredlipstick (ao3) (tumblr)

ikeasharksss (ao3) (tumblr)

thelordofshrimp (ao3) (tumblr)

gatesofember (ao3) (tumblr)

pey119 (ao3) (tumblr)

solisaureus (ao3) (tumblr)

voting guidelines:

voting will close on february 13th so that the winners post can be released on the 14th for valentines day! (for realsies this time i promise it doesnt take me as long as nominations lol)

fics are listed in alphabetical order! if your work didnt make it in, there is most likely a reason! you are welcome to message me about it if you wish though and i can let you know why

if your fic was nominated and counted but is missing on one of the docs, whether its here or the poll or the masterlist, please let me know!! i have missed things and had no idea, its ok! please dont be afraid to let me know i've made a mistake!

same goes for if something shows up twice, fic has already won, links are broken, etc etc!

if one of your works has been submitted, you can promote/mention this but a reminder that there's no prize outside of satisfaction, so dont feel too bad if you didn't win! theres always more years!

you aren’t required to vote if you have been nominated, though it is heavily recommended

you also aren’t required to vote in all categories anymore due to popular request, although we heavily advise that you do in order to keep voter count even

if you have been nominated, you are allowed to vote for yourself. just please also be considerate to others and vote for each category!

the google poll will ask for you to sign in just to ensure that you are only voting once. no emails are being collected! that being said, if you are more comfortable voting through ask/message/etc, feel free!

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this is all just friendly competition, so everyone have fun! be sure to show the writers some love!!! <3

[nitrokiraru]

masterpost of all the times nitro+chiral has referenced their own games! made bc i was bored and i like epic nitro+chiral references

also includes references to other nitroplus games, if there are any refs i missed please feel free to add to the post or lmk and i will add them!

Togainu No Chi references

to start out is the bgm playing in slow damage! credits to this channel called L on youtube for the recording, they also uploaded other vids of n+c bgm being in surodame so shoutout to a real one bc im about to use all of their vids for this post

haunt, shifty, and tactics play in the restaurant!

this next one is not exactly confirmed to be a reference but I always felt like the re:code virus and trip ending cg was a homage to Kau

like??? THE OUTFITS LOOK KINDA SIMILAR IDK!!! i like to think that it is! and considering the fact that honyarara (dmmd artist) was a togainu no chi fan, i wouldnt be surprised if the similarities were intentional

Lamento references

to my knowledge there is not a lot of lamento refs in the other games, but like togainu no chi, lamento's bgm is also in slow damage!

kowaku, kaze ga huku machikado, and ketsui (? the last one is a lil hard to hear but it sounds like ketsui) play in the cafe!

Sweet Pool references

this reference is one i was NOT aware of at all until very recently, so credit to @/slybluehologhost for pointing it out! and for the screenshots if they are yours! their post was the one i found this out from lmao

the CG of one of the first rhyme fights in dramatical murder, is a corrupted version of the Okinaga household cg from sweet pool!

here is the original CG. if you notice it's using 3d resources, something that dmmd didn't actually have a lot of as backgrounds. the reason is because it's leftovers from the previous game!

if you look at the CG flipped, you can see clearly that it is the Okinaga household living room/kitchen!

in my opinion this is one of the coolest refs on this post. bc i played dmmd before every other n+c game, i genuinely didn't notice this when i first played. its something that only people who played sweet pool would notice, and i just find that so nice! just a lil easter egg for people who know

sweet pool bgm is also present in slow damage!

scene [warp02], chills02, and calm01 play in the bar!

another ref in slow damage is the billboard with youji official art on it

prolly my fav official art of youji ever

Dramatical Murder references

dmmd's bgm is featured in slow damage!

track 10, 12, and the video says bgm 22 but i cant rly hear anything? idk regardless the bgm plays when you go to beat up that guy who likes to get beat up by his brother for some reason LOL

another very very small reference that is extremely easy to miss is the fact that clear's nendoroid is in Mayu's room

if you zoom in on the parts i circled, you can see that the nendoroid box says 597. and nendoroid 597 just so happens to be the clear nendo!

under the cut are other nitroplus title refs! (also didnt wanna make this post look too long fndskgjn)

Other Nitroplus title references

Mayu's room is FULL of Nitroplus title references. so much that some of them I didn't really recognize besides the obvious, so i literally had to just go through the character lists on nitroplus games to find what characters they were. ur welcome for this incoming information that you may or may not have known

probably one of the most recognizable nitroplus characters in this room is saya from saya no uta, mayu has a figure of her in the middle! (theres more boxes of her but this was the most noticeable imo)

his figure display has many nitroplus characters on it

to start from the top, the one in the long maid like dress is Petrushka from Kikokugai - The Cyber Slayer

Next to her is Franco il Nero from Zoku Satsuriku no Django

i couldnt find anything for who's next to this chara, so i assume its just swimsuit versions of the character Mayu's obsessed with

Going to the 2nd row, though you can just barely see her, i found this character to be Echika from Tokyo Necro

Next (disregarding the obvious figures in between) to her are the two main characters from You and Me and Her, Aoi Mukou and Sone Miyuki!

i find it a little funny that they would put these references in because the audience for the people playing nitroplus games vs the audience playing n+c games are like VERY different but nonetheless, pretty cool!

while not a "reference" per se, sweet pool is heavily inspired by saya no uta!

this is something thats just a generally agreed fact, but i felt compelled to include it anyway because i rly love both of these vns and i love rambling abt them. theyre very similar in the ways that they both got meat n gore, and the main characters dealing with the meat n gore, and the general theme of just isolating yourself from people because of it and not exactly having a happy end. fuminori completely giving up his outside life for saya, destroying friendships n whatnot, and youji locking himself in his room and shutting out people who aren't dealing w his lil problem (makoto). the ending where saya wins and the red road ending shares some vibes imo. its all very similar even down to the soundtrack that had some of the same people working on it, and even gen urobuchi himself (writer of saya) worked on sweet pool as an advisor. so in my head its canon that these two games r brother and sister

thats pretty much it! (unless i decide to add more i swear theres probably so much im missing LMAO) thank you if you read this far ^_^

edit: check notes for other references people have added!

[misc-obeyme]

resending just in case the first didnt send due to my wifi cutting off right as i sent it 🙄:

how would the brothers react to an mc who comes from a family where twins, triplets, quadruplets n other sets of multiples are common ? like, their mother is a twin, their father is a triplet, most of their siblings are twins or triplets, the mc even has a twin themselves

i just wanna see how the brothers react to visiting the mcs family n seeing 9 different ppl have look the same cause theres 3 separate sets of triplets in the family

Hi there!

I did get your previous ask, but I decided to answer this one, so I will just delete the other one :)

Okay, this was certainly interesting to think about and the consensus is mostly that they're all confused lol.

Thanks for the request!

the brothers react to GN!MC having a family full of twins, triplets, etc

Warnings: none!

Lucifer

Great. There are more of you. Just how many of you are there, MC? Are these your clones? It must be some magic spell gone wrong. That's the only explanation.

Lucifer demands answers. Explain what is going on. Once you've told him about all the twins and triplets in your family, he's trying to figure out how this is even possible. He always thought such things were rare, but here you all are.

He tries to keep everybody's name straight, but he messes up sometimes. It's not from lack of trying. Actually keeps a little notebook with a list of everybody's name in an attempt to keep track of them. This doesn't really work all that well when everyone looks the same, though.

He never confuses you for one of your family members. No, he knows which one of you belongs to him.

Mammon

He is immediately flustered. How is he supposed to act around all these slightly different versions of you? They all remind him of you, but they're not quite you and he's so confused.

Since we all know he has feelings for you, being around so many people that look like you makes him nervous. He has to try even harder not to give himself away. Pretty much just constantly blushing.

Please stay by his side, MC. He doesn't want to lose track of ya. Not that he would ever mistake anyone else for you, but it's just hard for him to find you again if you go too far.

Mammon likes your family just fine, but being around them all is kiiiind of stressful. Doesn't remember anyone's name. Uses yours almost every time even though he knows he's not talking to you. It just comes out, he can't help it!

Leviathan

Oh! This is just like that one manga called Everyone In My Family is a Twin or Triplet So I Moved Far Away Where No One Would Recognize Me and Ended Up Falling in Love with a Demon Lord! That's almost your exact scenario, MC! You're living a real life manga storyline!

He's not too terrible at remembering who is who, but he's not really great at it, either. He certainly never gets you confused with anybody, but everybody else kind of blends together a bit.

If you've got any family members that have similar interests to him, Levi will get all their names correct every time. This helps him to keep everybody else straight, too.

He's fascinated by your family of look-a-likes, but he definitely thinks you're the best version. He might try to actually say that to you, too, but he's going to be blushing like crazy while he does.

Satan

He's never seen this many twins, triplets, and quadruplets before. He's going to ask a ton of questions. He wants to know how this is even possible. -Tell him you understand the science behind it, MC, because it's fascinating. If you don't know the specifics of how the genetics of such things work, he's going to read a bunch of books about it as soon as he gets home.

He gets everybody's name right. He never mixes anybody up or confuses anybody for anybody else. How he manages to do this is a mystery to everyone, even you. It likely has to do with his ability to retain details.

Since he's capable of keeping everybody straight, your family loves him. It's nice to finally have someone who doesn't get you all confused all the time. He's a little baffled because to him it's not a big deal.

Asmodeus

He has so many ideas. Please, he just has to have a fashion show or photo shoot with all your lovely family members! He's always wanted a crew of models that are just as lovely as you!

Another one who never gets anybody mixed up. Asmo is able to do this because he's a social butterfly and somehow connects everyone's appearance to their qualities and interests. He's just good at it, you know?

He wants to do everybody's hair and paint everybody's nails and any one of your family members who agree will find themselves looking fabulous in no time.

But don't worry. He will make sure to pay extra special attention to you. He's in love with your entire family, of course. How could he not be especially when they all look like you? But you'll always be his favorite, MC.

Beelzebub

Hey. You have a twin, too? Do you guys have twin telepathy like him and Belphie? He's going to have a lot of questions for your twin specifically because he knows what it's like to be one.

Of course, he doesn't look exactly like his twin and that part's a little confusing. Also, MC, do you realize that all of your family members look the same? What's going on with that?

You'll have to explain who is twins, triplets, or quadruplets with who. He'll try to keep them all straight, he really will. But his success rate is kinda low. Gets most of them mixed up with each other.

He never gets you or your twin mixed up with anyone else, though. He gets that, so it's easier for him to understand. Thinks of your twin as "MC's Belphie" forever after.

Belphegor

Okay. He obviously knows about the twin life, but this is kinda overdoing it, don't you think? He knows your family isn't like this on purpose (at least he doesn't think so), but wow. It's kinda chaotic.

Surprisingly good at keeping everybody straight. He doesn't try too hard and he still messes up, but he's better at it than some of the others.

He also wants to know if you have twin telepathy. What about the triplets and quadruplets? Do they have it, too? He imagines that having quadruplet telepathy would be pretty noisy.

In the end, he likes your family fine, but he prefers you. Content to just sit beside you while you interact with your many family members. Probably falls asleep on your shoulder as you do so. Sorry, MC, but your family kinda tires him out.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[pixelyssa]

Bye I am acc desperate atp I need helpppp

Basically I go on holidays mid July and I just know the food will be so tempting (and I’m so scared of letting myself go) and my family will obvs notice if I don’t have anything but I also want to have a nice time 😭 what do I doooo??!!

And even if i eat small amounts of things I’ve no clue how many c@ls would be in them

I will be so so grateful for any tips or advice u have!! 💓

ily stay safe bb 🩵

hey! if i was in this situation i would just heavily r3strict for the week before. that way the vacation will be like a reward. ofc thats probably not good to advise you to do 😭

maybe instead of that, you can up your workouts and make sure all of ur meals/snacks are nutritional (get ur proteins and ur veggies) vs f00ds with just sugar and sodium. and that can help u have the energy to up ur workouts too.

u said you might “let urself go” no honey, its not a choice… its brain chemistry. if ur thinking about the f00d ur gonna be having over a month from now… youre in deep. you won’t “let yourself go”. youll be anxious either way. youre not gonns get used to e@ting normal and then just stick with it, even if h do youll slowly become obsessed with ur image again soon and go back to ur ways.. thats the fuck of it all… might as well ENJOY ur vacay.

it would rlly suck to go in vacation and be trying to guess the c4lories in everything, and ordering what u think is the lightest option. you should e@t what you want.

you can still r3strict certain f00d groups. if i was going on vacay with my family theyd buy snacks for the hotel or wherever we’d be staying. i would avoid those, bc i would normally avoid them at home.

going out to restaurants id do the same thing i do at home when i go to restaurants, order something that sounds good so i can enjoy myself, whether its a salad or a big mf burger lol. and i eat till im full. (if u dont have that sense, leaving 1/2 or 1/4 of the meal on the plate is a good measurement.)

if theres an appetizer, i have maybe a bite of each one and say im saving room for dinner, (my family and friends know i get full easily) & same goes with dessert. if it looks rlly good ill have a bite, but since i ordered what i WANTED for dinner, im satisfied before a dessert comes out and i play it off that im full.

i would probably figure out what we’re doing for food and decide what is most worth it to me and save my c4ls for that.

id also make a list of things i wanna enjoy. for example: my trip to nyc i wanted to try

-new york pizza

-a pastry and latte from the cafe next to my hotel

-a martini

-something fried from a food truck

-any non american food restaurant (italian, french, idk)

-a croissant from this popular cafe in times square

and i just kinda rationed it out. i remember my bf wanted to go for a walk, i new we’d pass the bakery, so i pointed it out and indulged there. got a matcha tea and a macaroon & then played off being full until dinner and chose something light (i think i made us get sushi that night which is pretty low in c4l) another day, we took the metro to soho and we walked around ALL day, so by the time we got back to the hotel it was late. we ordered the pizza i wanted to try… and i didnt care bc i had 20k steps done. i was still able to have everything i wanted the whole time, i just r3strictied the things that werent on my list.

idk what kind of vacation ur going on but a lot of them call for lots of walking, so thats a plus. you will not g4in that much. thats why i said id go crazy a week before, so that i dont feel like im g4ining it just feels like its fluctuating normally.

either way if u let urself enjoy it atleast ur metabolism will get faster! (im toxic) lol metab week(s?) ❕

me and my bf are planning a 2 week trip to europe. 2 weeks before we go i would push myself to burn way more c4l than normal. and i wouldn’t w3igh myself in that time. in 2 weeks i could lose like 4Ibs and not even know, that way when i get back from vacation and ive g4ined 3Ibs i wouldnt even notice. then life goes back to normal!

i hope that makes sense, and i hope its not too much. i really hope u enjoy ur vacation & can allow urself to enjoy a few of the f00ds wherever ur going. 🩷

[md-confessions]

a very specific pet peeve i have about n's mischaracterization in writing. his guilt about killing.

it's not that he feels bad in the sense of "oh no, oh my god, i just killed someone, i just did something terrible" he feels bad in the sense of the fact that he might be annoying. he could do something to piss someone off. it's not that he feels bad over taking lives its that he feels bad over the reaction.

in pilot, n apologizes for causing uzi to have an awkward moment with khan and over ruining the workers card game. he doesn't mention anything about killing until uzi points it out. thats such an interesting part to me about his character!!! though his squad kept their original personalities as cyn said, they took the humanity they had before. you see n panicking over that stuff in home (not over HIM killing anyone, i just mean death in general) but dd n doesn't show that same level of sadness over death atleast in my opinion. i don';t know if theres more proof past what i already listed but???yeah :)

DOUBLY INTERESTING TO ME ABOUT V ACTUALLY. because v... remembered all that went down at the mansion, she also remembered and retained her 'humanity' which makes the way she kills/treats wds much more interesting. i think its a way to cope atleast in how i viewed it. you HAVE to kill, you have to obey, or else everyone you love will die, so you might as well disconnect yourself as much as possible from the things you have to kill. basically. if she has to, why not try and have fun with it? I DONT KNOW its just very interesting to me how v changed so drastically from what we saw of her wd self to her dd self; i think its a front. we see how panicked v is when she thinks she's about to die in cabin fever (and promening too), versus n getting his ass beat continuously and acting like it's nothing crazy... BUT THEN AGAIN if we're going by my logic of "drones who remember their humanity/old selves are able to retain that sense of fear/grief versus drones who DONT just. not feeling bad/scared in that sense" then after n remembered stuff he should have started feeling that way... which he didnt, cause of him getting disemboweled in ep6 and not giving too much of a shit outside of it Tickling . lol . but THEN AGAIN if we go by that logic then its possible that v has just . never lost her memories. and n never FORGOT anything when he regained his memories in home so maybe he's just so used to it andOK IM RAMBLING

DOUBLE TL;DR; v and n parallels through the way they respond to pain/death and also because of how much each of them remembers.

.

[crystlizabeth]

Dangerously Yours.

Paring: Carl Grimes x Blackfem!Smith!Reader

Paring: Negan Smith & BlackDaughter!Reader

Summary: You two where enemies, but there was just something that drew you two each other, but a war was in the making.

Warning: cursing, mentions of childhood trauma and abuse.

A/n: Carl lives au!! And im gonna add some songs that came out not during TWD time like or after 2013 i think! This is kinda of a self insert, This might be multiple parts, I noticed its turned into a Negan Smith x Daughter reader along with Carl x reader so enjoy.

The first time you met him he caught an additude with you trying to take some batteries out of your hand, it didn’t go well for him you grabbed his wrist twisting it telling him to fuck off. There were more instances when you would go and he somehow always pissed you off but it made sense you and Carl Grimes where enemies. So where your fathers you didn’t quite know what had all happed but you did know people died, some of your people and a few of his.

Now you where on your way back to Alexandria for a pick up you went along this time to see Eden, she was a decent girl but also a girl your age it wad hard to find friends in this day in age. Eden was closed of and was always followed by the one and only one eyed grimes, but that didn’t stop you from trying to get to know her and one of those ways was music, may it be mp3, cds or even vinyls.

“I found this mix tape a while back, its a costume one and actually really good music.” You said to Eden as you walked with her towards the supply house.

“Any songs you can recognize?” She asked taking the tape from your hand.

“Not really only a few like, Elvis, Hozier, Taylor swift, i hear alot of her music in the mixes i find.” You ended with a small laugh.

“I like Taylors music, Elvis’s pretty good to” she said with a small smile.

You two shared similar music taste even rap, you two enter the supply room running into Negan, Rick, Carl and a gal with glasses.

“Lookie here, making friends are we?” Your dad asked his usual grin on his face.

“Yeah you could say just trading some music but i need some batteries.” You said shrugging your shoulders.

Rick moved out of the way as the lady with glasses handed you 4 batteries “I only need two don’t worry about it. Unless,” you look over at Eden., “you need any?” She shook her head you nodded and handed two of the batteries back to her.

“Thank you..” you spoke lightly waiting for her name.

“Oh, its Olivia.” She said she voice shaken.

“Well thank you Olivia.” You said then turning to your dad.

“Not giving her a hard time are you?”

Negan raised his eyebrow giving you a cheeky grin “Not at all this time they actually have there shit in order.” He spoke wiggling around the list in his hand.

Nodding you left with Eden heading back to the truck with Carl running behind you two.

“Eden where are you going?” He asked.

She held the bag up in her hand that was filled with music “Trading music.” She answered simply.

He didnt say anything but continued to follow you two, you could feel his eyes burning you in the back of your head he watched every move you made.

You and Eden had gone through a crate you brought she had taken out a few albums and surprise mix tapes you liked to call them. She took ‘I love you.’ The neighborhood, ‘Anti’ Rhianna, ‘AM’ arctic monkeys and ‘Lungs’ Florance and the machine. You didn’t take any from her she didn’t have many good options so you just lended them to her.

“Really you want nothing back.” Carl voiced from behind you.

Giving him a glare “yeah theres no reason for me to take what little music she has, what are you even doing here doing you had somthing better to do cyclops.”

He glared at you “good to know your an asshole like your dad.” He spat back, he didnt appreciate the nickname but you weren’t a fan when he called you a bitch last week so your really didn’t give two shits.

“At least my dad doesn’t stand around like a bitch between his legs last time I checked you did the dirty work.” You said walking past him.

He turned to say something only for his dad to stop him. You only scoffed turning away.

A few weeks later you saw him again but this time he came by one of the trucks, he shot a few of your fathers men. When that whole mess was cleaned up Laura came and got you saying ‘your dad needs your help.’

You walked down the hall meeting Your Dad, Carl and Daryl out side on the little balcony. Carl didn’t have his bandage on this time covering his eye, Carl put his head was down after meeting your eyes.

“Whats up?” You asked.

Negan smiled “I need a favor Sweetheart, Carl here needs a little tour but i need to fix some shit the he fucked up. Keep and eye on him yeah?” He spoke looking at Carl.

“Sure just us or..?”

“Just you two, get to know each other and dont kill him, I for one actually like him unlike you.” He said laughing a little knowing the tension between you both.

“If he keeps the attitude to a minimum.. personally not a fan of it unlike you.” You say crossing your arms moving more of you weight to one side of your body.

With that they left leaving you and Carl by the railing watching over the workers, a few kids running around playing with one another.

“Is he actually your dad?” Carl asked breaking the silence. You weren’t surprised why he asked you, you two didn’t look alike and many obvious aspects.

You looked at him, his eye focused on you looking you up and down and searching for any kind of reaction. You watched as his eyes finally met yours again.

“No..” you said admitting it to him.

He tilted his head a little as a way of say ‘What’.

“He found me at the beginning of this, what about 3 years ago? Put it simply my biological father left me to fend for myself, fucked up right?” You said walking towards a stair way sitting down on the steps.

Carl stared down at you, looking up at him through your curls letting a laugh out from the look if his face.

“Are you serious..” he asked sitting down with you.

You looked over at him, “Yeah but my father had never actually been a good person. He was far from a good parent. He was a selfish, abusive man, he wasn’t fit for kids non the less 3 girls.”

Carl seemed interested. “You have Sisters?”

“Had.”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t know.” He said.

You leaned back on the stairs “Why would you? We aint friends.”

He nodded turning his head looking straight. He seemed vulnerable almost. But so where you you just opened up, trauma dumped to some guy you haven’t been able to stand for months. But in that moment there was a kind if peace and understanding.

“Why did you stick around after knowing all the bad things he’s done?” Carl asked looking back at you.

“All the bad.. nobody is good or bad. Especially in this, it survival.” You scoffed, he tried to makes his people out to be what they weren’t.

“He killed good people, friends, one of them had a kid on the way!”

You looked at him your eyes nerow slightly “Your little group took out an whole outpost of more than 50 people. Many of them had family and one of the women there was carrying a child.” You spoke sharply.

“Your people, your friends aren’t so clean of blood. Nor are you.” You finished harshly.

He did say anything else. Only looked back at his hands fidgeting with them in irritation.

He knew you where right, but he also knew you weren’t clean of blood either nobody was. There is no good or bad anymore just survivors.

You both eventually got up and you showed him around. How things work, people had jobs they earned money and they got what they need. That this was our normal, even you worked did chores to earn your keep.

You two continued to talk to each other, getting to know each other you never talked about either of your peoples. There was a spark for only knowing him and hating him for the past few months he understood you. They way his eyes lingered on you as you talked how he took in every word you where saying. What was that feeling that lingered as he left the feeling of wanting to see him again.

As weeks went by you two spoke over walkies, nit the safest options but it worked. You hadn’t let anyone this close since Negan, funny how you wanted nothing to do with this boy but now you did. He made you laugh over stupid things, gave you good advice as you did with him. He heard you cry for the first time, you even snuck out to see him one time showing him a little abandoned house by the river it was the first time in long time you both had fun.

He was feeling it two, his heart fluttered at the way you smiled, how he always held eye contact taking in the sight of you as it may be the last. You did the same but he never caught you looking at him like the way he did you. The hard truth you knew was that you two are enemies, maybe not you two but your Dads, your people.

But then shit hit the fan.

You didn’t get trapped in a sanctuary when they attacked the place, you watched as the walkers surrounded the building the echos of gun shots rang through your ears as you watched in horror as rick started to shot him down.

The only thing you could do is try and reach a different outpost. Warn them, but then you where caught.

He didn’t look familiar which scared you even more, you quicky grabbed your knife cutting his arm. He let go of you making you fall back only for someone else to grab you.

“The little bitch cut me!” The one man yelled you turned around quickly ready to strike again thats when you saw Rick and Daryl.

Your heart dropped, you where surrounded. Rick took a step toward you his hands visible “Dont Fucking come near me!” You yelled.

Rick put is gun down on the ground “Relax I don’t wanna hurt you.” His voice was calm.

“Then fuck off!”

“Where are you gonna go.” Daryl spoke.

You eyes shot over to him, you didn’t answer him. He was right though where were you gonna go, to an outpost you didn’t even know where it was at.

“Y/n we just wanna help you. I told Carl you wouldn’t get hurt.” Rick said.

Why would that matter?

“Please. Just come with us.”

You just looked at him, dumfounded.

Was it stupid yes, but you went with them handing over your weapons and walked to the gates. As they open they looks you got looks of horror from them. Rick pulled on my arm slightly letting go when I flinched. He took me into a house there sat a few people talking about what to do next.

But the all stop once their eyes landed on me.

“Sit.” Daryl said pointing at the couch his tone serious.

You where scared what did they want with you what was their plan, why where you not dead, locked up. You picked at your finger s peeling the skin off them drowning out everything around you. What the fuck is happening.

A hand fell on both of your hands you quickly looking up you saw him. His face filled with concern, he spoke but you never heard what he said the way he brows frowned trying to reach you. You began to break as both of his hand touched your arms squeezing them slightly wanting and answering out of you.

“Why am I here...” your voice tender and cracked.

“I..” Carl started but never finished he just looked at you.

“Why the hell am I here.” You asked again.

He took a deep breath “Help us end this.”

You stared at him, help them, help them. Why would you help them.

“Get away from me… Get AWAY.” You shouted pushing him away.

He stood back as you stood up, your hands gripping harshly on your hair.

“Your fucking kidding me right?! What makes you think I would help you, help these people! You know how crazy you sound.” You slightly laugh the frustration in your voice very clear. These people wanted your help. They just destroyed the only place you called home.

“Please Y/n, please.. hear us out.” Carl said.

“Your acting a fool, you just attacked my people, my home! Theres more than just Negan in there theres kids! Family, old people! What the fuck is wrong with you guys!” You yelled. “And- and you know that.. you saw it, so did he!” You finished pointing at Daryl.

They all knew that.

“What makes you think you can trust me anyway? What it your head makes you think I wouldn’t betray you.” You said your arms falling to your sides.

“Because your the one that let me out of that cell, made sure I had a clear way out.” Daryl spoke up.

You looked at him, he knew.

“And I trust you.” Carl said. “They may not but you help out friend and you’ve earned my trust, my respect.”

You shook your head, you wanted to cry, to cry like a little kid. Carl came to you again slowly pulling you in for a slight hug. Something sincere he cared for you he may have only truly known your for few weeks but he wanted you safe but with that came a cost. The talks over that walkie you had with him you could careless who herd them. Carl had fallen for a girl who he couldn’t have with out a cost.

“Y/n your something to believe In again, you could change things. Help your people.” Rick spoke.

You wanted to help your people, they deserved it they deserved to be safe. To have a life beyond the sanctuary. Alexandria was a safe place but so was your home they where good people in there people who don’t know how to protect themselves.

“But you’ll have to go behind, Negan. Lie to him.” Michonne finished.

Your head snaped at her, “I cant, i… i wont! I’ll just lie to you tell him your plans.” You said trying to get them to not believe you.

“If you do you’ll only hurt yourself…”

For my people.. but the cost was to betray a man who would do anything for you. You caught Carls eye he gave you a pleading look. He practically begged you with that look, betray your Dad for a boy.. for a boy and peace between people.

“If i betray you, I hurt myself.. if i betray my people, my family, I betray my dad, my dad is very important to me..”

“More important than your people and peace dont you want more for those family’s. For us.” Carl said, him whispering the last part only for you to hear.

For us..

You wanted that more than anything..

“Okay..”

So you helped them, you got back in through a old drain the led into the basement, you knew people would have noticed you where gone or maybe not.

When you saw Simon and Dwight they nodded at you figured you where out hidden in your room. Stupid men.

But you also knew Dwight was working with them as well, he was a traitor too.

Days had passed they finally cleared the walkers out. The plan was to attack hilltop but there was a twist, Negan on the other hand didn’t want you to have any part of it he stated “I need you here, with out people.” So you stayed.

You stayed back with your people started cleaning up putting things back together, when they came back your dad wasn’t to be seen.

“Wheres my dad?” You asked walking up to simon, he shared a look with Dwight looking back at you.

“Someone ran him off the road, all we found was blood when we finally found his car…” Simon said his tone quiet.

All you could do was stare at him “what.. is he.”

They nodded, the two men shared a look again.

Something isn’t right. They’re lying, they gotta be he couldn’t just be killed that easily.

After that Simon took charge, he seemed pleased with himself it was sickening. He bossed everyone around hell even threatened you that if you didn’t keep your mouth shut there would be ‘consequences’. It was just crazy to you, how easily he forgot his place.

But even now you had a job. So you did it you told them what happened leaving a note in the woods for them to find.

When you got back, There stood Negan. He turned to look at you giving you a smile.

“Hiya Sweetheart, how ya been.” His voice sweet giving you a hug.

“They said you where dead.” You said in a whisper only for him to hear.

He nodded looking at you back to Simon who was staring you down. You already knew he was fucked but lets make it worse, not here though. Negan wanted to talk anyway.

You sat on the couch in his room waiting for him, he startled you out of your trace as he placed his hand on the side if your head kissing you on the top of the head.

“Now tell me what the shit has he all done..?” He asked coming around sitting next to you.

“He pretty much took over your place bossing people around, and that attack on hilltop went south from what I heard, oh! He also threatened me” you said.

He turned his head to look at me. “ Do I dare ask what he said..” his voice went dark the look he held could kill.

You told him you may have exaggerated it a bit but you could careless the son of a bitch deserved it. His actions has consequences.

After that conversation you just sat there with him your head laying on his shoulder your arms wrapped around his arm.

“Im sorry..” you spoke softly, you could feel your throat swell up as you hold back tears.

“Its not your fault, Princess..” its been a minute since he’s called you princess, hell you where. You may not be his blood but your the only child he’s ever had, you where his daughter, his little girl.

The day finally came, but you weren’t standing with them you stood with Carl not your Father. The sound of that familiar call rang through your ears as everyone raised there gun.

“Well damn Rick, lookie here.” Negans voice echoed through a radio.

“Pegged again, pegged so very hard.”

Everyone moved around looking for them “ I ambushed your ambush with an even bigger ambush.” You could hear a slight chuckle after.

“Why don’t you step out and face us!” Rick yelled out as he looked around looking for any kind of movement.

“Oh I am everywhere Rick.” He said.

You closed your eyes settling your breath you felt a hand on your back, opening your eyes looking to you left you saw carl. He gave you a nod trying to give you some kind of comfort. You could hear Negan he went on talking about Eugene and Dwight, going to to Gabriel. Then he said your name.

“Where is my daughter because I would love to know. Kind fucked up how your little psycho of a son came in one day and now my daughter is gone. You happen to know anything about that.” His voice was serious, you had been gone since yesterday.

Rick looked back at you, you shook your head telling him not to say a word.

“But here we go, congratulations Rick.” Was the last thing he said before he started a count down.

They came out starting to fire only for their weapons to back fire on them.

Every thing happend to fast.

Soon enough they had surrendered, the saviors where on their knees hands in the air. Rick and Negan ran off, you looked around for them Carl and Rosita following behind me a little.

You finally got up to the hill you saw them standing in-front of each other talking, Negans face fell looking like he was going to cry at what Rick said. For a moment they stood there. Then it happened.

“NO!” You screamed, you went to run towards them only for Rosita to grab you holding you tightly.

“NO YOU LIER! YOU SAID YOU WERNT GONNA KILL HIM!” You Sobbed, struggling against Rosita and she tried calming you down.

“You fucking Lier! Please he’s all i have, please.” You begged your body slightly collapsing in Rositas Arms Carl came in front of you helping Rosita turn you so you did have to see him bleed out.

“You fucking people lied. I trusted you.” You cried.

“I didn’t know, Y/n I didn’t know.” Carl said his hands cupping your face making you looks at him.

Your sobs continue, As you fell into his arms. Rosita let go of you only staying behind you. The only thing in the field you could hear was you sobbing, Carls gentle tone trying to calm you. His hand gently rubbing your back, your hands covered your face your head resting on Carls shoulder.

“Save him.”

You pushed of Carls shoulder looking up. The widow started to do the same thing you had just done, Michonne holding her back as she yelled at rick, begging him to keep Negan dead.

“We have to make it right.” Maggie sobbed.

A year had now passed, you hadn’t been able to see Negan they wouldn’t let you. But what they did do it tell him that you had helped them, not by much but you did.

“Why would they do that..” you asked, Carl looked up at you.

“In not sure.. ask my dad why he did.” He said, you only glared at him.

“Common babe, you cant hold that anger with him forever especially that your my girlfriend.” He laughed slightly standing up from the step turning to you pulling you up.

“Its called a grunge, and yeah I can. They go on telling Negan i betrayed him and i don’t even get to explain my self to him.” You spoke the irritation in your voice quite visible.

Carl sighed, “I know Y/n..” he pulled you in by your hands.

“Talk to Michonne, you like her at lest.” Carl said giving you a kiss.

So you where gonna do just that but first you had to find her. When you did she was with Judith on the porch Rosita with her. Rosita gave you a smile as she left.

Michonne looked at you giving you a small smile “Hi Y/n how are you?” She said.

“Im fine but i have a question.” You spoke, she nodded letting you continue.

“Why wont you let me see him” befor she could speek you cut her off “I know i ask this way to often but you told him everything i could attest give him an exclamation, you just letting him believe that what i did was for the worst, so please. Wouldn’t you want Carl to tell you if that had happened to him not just to stay quiet and believe he did it to hurt you.” You finished.

Michonne signed “You’ll have five minutes.”

Your face light up “Thank you, Thank you!”

She grabbed Judith giving her to a friend as she walked you to the basement, Carl and Rosita followed you two and you walked down the stairs she told you to wait.

“You have a Visitor.” She said before waving you in.

It was dark but you could see him, and he looked like shit. “Five minutes.” Michonne said walking over to the door keeping it open but she walked up them.

The silence between you two lingered for a minute, after all that begging you couldn’t get your self to say anything but when he did your heart dropped.

“Well kid, hows your new life, boyfriend, freedoms.” He said harshly.

“I-its fine, can I explain..” you said.

He stood up moving to the bars looking at you. “What that you stabbed me in the back yeah I got that.”

“Dont be a dick-”

“Really your gonna call me the dick?” He scoffed.

“I never meant you any harm i wanted what was best for our people.” You said softly.

He didn’t say anything, his eyes never left you but he was mad and he had every right to be. You had all of his trust, he would’ve done anything for you and you betrayed him. Everything he had done for you was thrown out the window after that stunt those 4 years were practically all for nothing.

“I know your mad at me and you have every right to be, I just wanted our people to see more the kids in the sanctuary to have more of a life beyond that, here those kids have a playground more people to become friends with.” You said, you watched as he turned around midway through you talking, he didn’t want to look at you.

You took a breath in bitting your lip to stop you self from crying, you crossed your arms holding your self in a hug.

“I haven’t seen you in a year man common say something, yell at me something anything.” You spoke in a whimper your lip trembling.

Nothing.

“Please don’t hate me.” Your tears fell down your cheeks.

“Your all i have left to family, I never thought I would call someone dad again let alone a man that actually cared for me..” you cried out your head falling down looking that the floor.

The tears continue to fall down your face making your cheeks glisten. He was your dad, maybe it was a cycle with you to make them hate you at some point.

“I don’t hate you, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to hate you.” He said quietly not turning around.

“Then why wont you look at me..” you asked not even sure if you wanted to know the answer.

He sighed deeply turning around “That better?”

You nodded not sure what to say next, things may never be the same again but you do know that is he doesn’t hate you, you didn’t have to worry about the fear of him never wanting to see you again.

[notmyprey]

Story idea I've been obsessed with (aka Belly of a Beast on Masterlist):

Tw: I swear sometimes out of habit, im tired, so there's probably something there I didn't catch. Sorry. Also- panic attack mention. Not too much detail on that tho, and it doesn't actually happen, only crying. Also, vore, lol.

(Note: remember that Jay and Lilly are my go-to names. This is not referring to any character I've ever posted about. This is referring to new OCs, or new to you all at least)

Everything was dark, the endless night bringing a comfort for Lilly, even in her half asleep state. She kept her eyes closed, continuing to take in the feelings produced from the dream tugging at her mind. Calm, steady waves moved around her, almost like the ocean itself was trying to reach for a hug. She reaches out to press her hand into the water, preparing for the liquid to give way and welcome her hand into it. The water did not seem to have this same plan, and as she reached out to touch it, its surface formed a soft shell, blocking her hand from breaching the surface.

The abrupt disruption jolted her awake. Around her, the moving sensation continued. A light red wall of flesh sat in front of Lilly, curling underneath her to form the cradle that gently swayed her back and forth.

Lilly's breath hitched at the sight. This, she thought, could not possibly be happening. But the pressure on her hands and body, the nausea, it was all too real.

Pressing into the ever moving ground, she got up, moving to examine what was behind her.

The walls and floor reached, melding together so often that it was hard to find where one started and the other ends. If she were to lay back down, the chamber would fit almost 2 and a half of her from front to back. This did not help how often this place contradicted itself. It's so endless, yet so constricting.

Not even a few feet away laid her 3 sleeping friends. No one but her had woken up yet, but with the situation they faced, she was sure they would understand the rude awakening.

"Hey!" She raised her voice, creating a sea of mixed reactions from her companions, ranging from startled to annoyed. She ignored this, figuring its better that than they stayed asleep.

"What... I dont even know...", her voice slowly died, the weight of what was happening slowly seeping further and further into her brain.

She watched as slowly, each of her friends came to the same realization she had come to, terror showing itself on all of their faces.

It was quiet, each individual taking in their surroundings at their own pace. Lilly didnt know how long it was, but finally, someone spoke.

"Does... does anyone know where we are..." Ash breathed, visibility shuddering as the place that surrounded them slowed briefly before returning to its previous vigor.

A series of shaking heads and solemn looks came from the group, none having any more clue than the next as to whats happening.

"Well..." Her other friend, Jay, started, "it looks like... maybe a creature of somesort?"

"I," Lilly chimed in hesitantly, "it almost looks like a... stomach." The word stomach coming out more like a question rather than an observation.

Again, the group went silent.

"But... theres no, like acid. Or anything." Cass had now gotten over his shock, returning into the talkitive and logistical individual they all knew him to be. He continued listing his observations, "And there also doesn't seem to be any saliva, and there's light... but I dont know where it's coming from. But like, on the other side of that... you can see the... creature... breathing... around us, and you can... feel... it too."

As if the same thought passed through all of their minds simultaneously, they all stretched their necks upwards, observing the constriction and relaxation of the organ surrounding them. Perhaps it was just the faint sounds coming from her friends, but Lilly swore she could almost hear it breathing.

It was mesmerizing, the way the stomach shifted and moved. The way each breath only furthered the movements of the churning organ. Again, her friends started to discuss where perhaps they could be, a strange insane asylum, a lab, and anything else they could cling to. But she knew better, from the moment the idea had come to light, that they were now, quite literally, in the belly of a beast.

The chattering continued, slowly dying down into a somber plea for any other answer than the reality they faced. As the group grew quiet, a small cough was heard briefly before the walls of the stomach collapsed towards her and her friends. Just as quickly, the pressure released, no one was hurt, but Lilly could still feel her heart race in her ears.

At this point, the long stretches of silence were normal to the group. Every once in a while, someone would sniffle or clear their throat. Jay, she noticed, seemed to have it worse than the rest of them. They looked pale, almost sick. Jay had always had a rough time in stressful situations, and it seemed like now was no different.

Though, for how stressful this situation was, to her, it started to actually feel sort of boring. It must have been a shared feeling, as Ash, seemingly reading her mind, started to yawn. That was the beginning of the yawning outbreak. Lilly was first to give in, yawning and holding her breath for a moment to take it all in. Next was Cass, then finally Jay.

As soon as Jay opened their mouth, Lilly noticed the organ surrounding them's breathing broke its normal pattern, stopping suddenly to take a deep breath in. Then, after a few moments, she heard Jay exhale, and the stomach did as well.

This is when gears in Lilly's head start to turn. She carefully crawls over to Jay, trying to get close enough that she can whisper in their ear.

"Hey," she starts, keeping her voice low and as calm as she could in this moment, "can you do me a favor real quick?"

While confused, Jay nodded, "Ya, what do you need?"

"Can you hold your breath for a moment?"

"Uhm, sure?" Jay took a deep breath. Sure enough, Lilly watched as the stomach around them threw away its normal pattern in exchange for holding itself in place, save for its ever chruning walls. Then, as it had before, once Jay exhaled, so did the chamber release its tension.

No matter how she herself did not believe this, everything she understood, everything that has happened now started to make sense. They, somehow, were inside Jay's stomach. This creature, this thing they have been inside of, feeling it breath and live, has been Jay.

Her face fell into immense shock. She couldn't help but look down at the ruffled sweater that covered Jay's abdomen. Under all that cloth, skin, muscle, and fat were her, along with everyone else in here. She raised her hand, instinctively wanting to reach out, to push at the area, hoping to feel themselves under Jay's skin. She stopped, bringing her hand back to her lap after realizing that would not only be weird, but also a violation of Jay's personal space.

"Uh... Lilly?" Jay's voice brought her back to reality.

"Sorry, um... Jay, are you... feeling alright?" She knew saying outright, 'Hey! Funny thing, were actually inside your stomach!' Was a good way to send her friend into a full-blown panic attack. Wanting to stay away from that, she opted for trying to have Jay come to the realization on their own.

"No, actually. I've been feeling quite sick, like I ate something I wasn't supposed to."

If only Jay knew how right they were, Lilly thought with a laugh. "Oh, Im sorry..." She looked away again, trying to think of any hints she could give to Jay that they are, in fact, the reason for said stomach ache. This proved increasingly difficult, each new idea proving to be something that would panic or hurt Jay in some way.

Finally, Lilly hit her breaking point. She wanted to be patient, but she was never the 'sit down and be quiet' type. She stood up and sent a swift punch to the stomach wall closest to her. Though she did not use her full strength, she did punch hard enough to produce a shocked yelp from Jay. Looking back down at her friend, Jay was now hunched over, their arms crossed and pressing into their abdomen.

"What the hell was that?" Ash was now standing as well, a look of annoyance at what Lilly did coming to light.

Lilly ignored her, keeping her eyes locked on her crumpled up friend, "Jay, did you feel that?"

"Yea..." their voice was weak. She could hear the tears that were forming just from how Jay spoke.

This broke her heart. She hated to be the cause of grief in her friend, but she couldn't be the only one to figure this out. She needed everyone on the same page. "Right... I- does everyone understand what that means?" She turned her head towards Ash and Cass, though finding it hard to keep her gaze away from Jay.

Ash's look of annoyance turned to that of shock, but soon both her and Lilly's heart seemed to sink in unison, whipping their heads towards the sudden burst of sobbing coming from Jay.

Their head is now touching the floor of the stomach, and Jay's arms grip tightens around their middle. "No no no no..." they whisper, their voice sounding ever so helpless and small.

The stomach shakes and collapses in again as Jay instinctively heaves. It swiftly releases its grip, showing Jay still on the floor, legs under themselves, though now having had to brace themselves with their arms planted into the fleshy floor under them.

"Im sorry, I- Oh god." Jay chokes out before returning to their previous dread filled state.

It was horrible, watching Jay go through such grief, such guilt, neither of which she would ever believe were because of something Jay did, at least on purpose. Even though Lilly knew they were in Jay's stomach, she also knew that Jay was not the kind of person to put anyone in any position that housed any potential for harming them. That is how she knew Jay was not the cause of this.

She kneeled down, so close to Jay this time that the right side of her body from her sholder to her hip was pressed against Jay. She wrapped her arm around them, moving her hand up and down in an attempt to console their shivering, absolutely miserable friend.

Minutes passed, with Lilly, Ash, Cass, and Jay, all in silence once more. After Jay had finished their crying, no one knew what to say, so they didn't speak. All they could do was sit and watch as their friends body moved around them subconsciously.

Lilly couldn't help but think about how much Jay and their stomach were true opposites. Jay, though Lilly knew that they loved physical affection, never sought it out due to their constant fear of being too much. Jay's stomach, on the other hand, seemed to almost reach out for it, calling for Lilly, for any of them, to hug and rub at it. It was an offer too cute to pass up.

Without thinking, Lilly rested her hand on the soft flesh beneath her. It was nice and plush, much like sinking into a pillow. She gripped at it, fidgeting and kneeding at her friends stomach. That was, until she happened to glance at a very red-faced Jay, whose eyes didn't break from her hand that now was mindlessly moving up and down in a sort of petting motion.

Lilly flushed a bit, stopping the movement of her hand but keeping it pressing down. "Jay... uhm." She didn't know what to say. She couldn't quite understand why, but somehow she felt calm, like she knew everything would be ok. She wanted Jay to feel like that as well. She could see how they folded in on themselves in shame. She didn't understand why, but it made her sad that they did.

"Are you feeling better?" She finally managed to get out.

Jay made a motion to speak, their mouth opening and closing without a word to fall out. A small nod is all they can muster up, before once again hanging their head low.

"Whats it feel like?" The words slipped out of her mouth before she could even process them, shocking everyone in the room, including herself. The red on Jay's face intensified as they sheepishly raised their head to look at her.

"What?" Jay knew what Lilly had meant, but the shock of the question took all the words from Jay, all except for that one.

"Um. You know, having us... in here and stuff." It was hard to meet Jay's eyes, and she knew they were also averting their gaze as well.

"I..." Jay paused, seconds seemed like minutes as she waited to hear their response. Finally, they spoke again. "It's... strange. I feel... sick. And I can feel every movement," Jay locks eyes with Lilly a brief moment before darting away to continue, "you guys make. I thought. I thought it was just... me being ill, before, but it was... you all."

"Huh." Cass spoke abruptly. It was a bit out of turn, but Lilly knew it was in an effort to let Jay know he was still listening.

Jay's voice shrunk once more, "Im sorry." This barely came out as a whisper, but without anything else to hear, save for Jay's organs working away, it was easy enough to make out what they said.

"It's ok... I know," Lilly sighed, resting herself once again against Jay, "you didn't do this on purpose. You wouldn't."

"I didn't, no. I would never -" Jays lip started to trimble once more.

She was so close to Jay, yet she wished she could get closer. She wanted to wrap Jay up and hold them, tell them it was alright. But for now, she would have to settle for being the weight on their side and the little weight in their stomach.