#idk im just feeling so weird because last May i moved. and now this May im moving again

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Moving! Moving in two months! Working on moving when I was literally doing this shit exactly a year ago! *SCREAM*

[messrsrarchives]

you dont need to answer this if its weird but i left a question here months ago about shelters (thank you btw it was really helpful) im moving into a supported place on monday and just wanted to see if you have any advice

HEY !! hi !! i'm answering this right before i sleep so i may add to it in the morning 🫶🏻 under the cut because it's long:

first of all ! i'm so fucking glad for you. i'm not going to sugarcoast anything because as much as it's relieving to get out of a toxic environment, the change can be really rough - but i think the fact we get to experience that change is rather beautiful 🫂

support workers: utilise these! i did Not do this until the last few months and those were the best ones. they're there to help you, let them. even if it's just popping in every few days to be around someone, they're your best source of info, support, and company

the residents: i obviously can't speak for everyone but,,, there's a lot of stigma behind those in supported accom. some of it true, most of it explainable - you Can make friends there. again, it took me months to actually do that because of MH and being incredibly awkward but these spaces are easier with people around. go to the events even if it's only for a lil bit.

checklists: okay so obviously, idk the ins and outs of your "home" life. what i do know is that despite being the one bringing in money and raising siblings, i needed reminders myself once i left? even just basic things like doing a food shop or leaving the house, i had to be reminded to because everything was different so,,, CHECKLISTS ! if this is smth you struggle with ! i also had an alarm set for 5pm incase i hadn't gone outside yet and then i'd just walk in a big loop until i came back. baby steps. a routine is so so so essential to make sure you don't fall into a rut with all these Feelings.

belongings: i took Everything with me and i took it all to uni as well, but i don't think this is necessary. i wish i left a lot of it behind actually. this is so individual but i think a fresh start with the essentials and sentimentals would have done me a lot better, it's okay to leave things behind.

food etc: this might differ based on your area but in all the places i've lived it's been the same - foodbanks !!! foodbanks foodbanks foodbanks and let me so so SO clear right now You Can Use Them. i didn't at the start because idk,,, felt like i wasn't allowed? like i shouldn't be doing this? but USE them ! all the places i've lived have had a once a month rule (and sometimes! they include food vouchers in there as well to use at supermarkets which is very handy when it gets to the end of the month) - if there's anything in there you don't want/use, drop it off at the communal area for someone else :)

adding here too that community hubs, churches, schools etc often hand things out !! when money got low i relied on them for toiletries etc, support workers will guide you

community: there are so many spaces. everywhere. there are so many places to belong or just enter for a little bit and they all help in some way. i would go to church dinners on a wednesday, my town had a youth cafe and hub, even the bloody corner shop because what's stronger than a teens bond with the local offie? it sounds so cringe but if you immerse yourself in the places around, it feels less like being homeless. idk. home is where the heart is and other cliches

and the most important !!!! start looking for the After earlier than you think you need to. now i don't have personal experience with this part because i went off to uni, but,,, spaces are low :/ and acceptance rates are ROUGH. when i was moving from the homeless shelter to the ymca, i applied day two at the shelter and my space opened One Day after my shelter ran out - you need more time than you think

for an 18m tenacy i would say to start looking at the 6 month mark - get support workers help, whether you go onto another supported accom, council housing lists, unis, extend your tenacy, WHATEVERRR it is, get their help sooner than you expect. once you're in the system, it's a lot easier to stay in it than it was to get in, it's just a matter of persistence and timing.

but most of all, if you take anyyyyything away from this post: be patient with yourself 🫂 it's a change and a half, and there will likely be times it gets you really fucking down, and that's okay. no amount of advice can really prepare you for this, but it gets so much easier as time goes on. once that grief of leaving and moving on passes, everything's a lil lighter.

the way my support workers put it is that i didn't leave home, i moved a step closer towards it. and i think that's really fucking lovely.

GOOD LUCK !!! i hope it goes as okay as it possibly can and i hope (if you have the time and capacity to) you pop back in to lemme know how it goes :)

(p.s this lil box is always open for you and my dms are there if you ever need or want someone to yap to !!)

[hiddenbeks]

btw remember when i mentioned that if i try hard enough i can make every song on absolution abt liah. im gonna do it now watch me

(not including intro and interlude bc they're just 30ish seconds of instrumental. tho now that i think abt it intro is the sound of an army marching?? so actually it is about the army liah had gathered when she returned from the mandalorian wars as revan)

apocalypse please is about liah going to fight in the mandalorian wars and doing whatever it takes to achieve victory. also btw i love the part that starts around the 1:46 mark... sounds kinda sci-fi and fitting to a galactic war

time is running out is relevant to the latter part of liah's revan era and her toxic friendship(?) with malak. also idk something about the dark side squeezing the life out of her. or maybe it was the jedi order that was squeezing the life out of her. maybe both. hmm

sing for absolution is truly one of my favorite muse songs and i feel like it's 99% thanks to the delivery of the last line "our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't be exhumed" like every time i listen to the song and get to that part i go oooooohhhhh here it comes!!!!! this line directly refers to the wrongs liah committed as revan and how she will never be forgiven. no the rest of the song doesn't matter

stockholm syndrome is as we all know the liah song. it encompasses her whole being. i can take literally any line from this song and connect it to some part of liah's life. incredible

falling away with you is also about toxic worsties liah and malak... reminiscing the Good Old Days when their relationship had not yet turned into a weird constant power struggle and there was genuine love between them

hysteria is another song about the dark side and how it changed liah. another one of my faves from muse

blackout is a bit more difficult but idk it may be about liah, years down the line, finally kinda having forgiven herself and letting go of the past and looking forward to living out the rest of her life on her own terms.. good for her

butterflies and hurricanes is about liah's hubris and ambition as a jedi knight and how she thought it was her grand destiny to be Something More and to change the galaxy!!

the small print is my least fave song on this album tbh it's a bit too chaotic. and it doesn't help that it's sandwiched between two songs i really enjoy. disappointed to say that i can't really connect this to liah... at least not yet. moving on,

endlessly is a nice breather after the previous song and it's about liah and carth!! and about how despite the fact that they have feelings for each other nothing comes of it in the end! because they both have issues and liah is way too guilt-ridden to allow herself to be loved!! but maybe they will run into each other several years later and get the chance to try again... who knows

thoughts of a dying atheist... ok idk abt this one. feels too much like matt bellamy's personal ruminations on his relationship with religion. next

ruled by secrecy is once again about liah's hubris and desire for power and change And her complicated relationship with the jedi order??

fury is about. liah's endless guilt mixed with revan era liah's belief that everything she is doing is right and correct and for good reasons... or something...

[thec0untry]

Its like

I completely emptied my life out a few times in the past few years

People possessions passions. New places new jobs new everything

And i never want to do that again

And now it's been a long time since i last did that

And I knew when this time in the mountains started last October and i felt more alone than i think i had ever felt before that what i would be forced to confront in the coming months was this exact loneliness, feel the consequence of enforcing artificial scarcity on everything i know

Life is artless

Life is spilling coffee at the cafe and using my shirt to clean it up before anyone notices

And now october was forever ago but i'm forced to be in the same place. And when i leave this place later this year im going somewhere else i'm going to chicago and i'm going to be really alone there too. all of the people i love are in one place but I can't go back there really i just don't want to go back there. There are people here but they arent mine.

Every day i end up accidentally asking myself: 'why does my life feel so empty?'

Because i emptied it.

But that was a long time ago. Now my life isnt so empty, i've figured out how to not feel so alone and get through every day feeling ok. I talk on the phone a lot. Hours a day.I try not to drink too much.

But i look around at my apartment. Im grateful for this apartment. but it isnt beautiful and i don't own very many things that bring me joy--reading poetics of space--all of the urban limitation of space, none of the urban crush, there is no rhythm...there are bears outside...but these problems are things that naturally evaporate as u continue being alive, no? Like i was seeing this girl and even though she just moved here and was leaving really soon she had a car she loved, and people, and clothes, and decorations. she could bring her place around with her as if turtle. she had a family who she loved. and she hadnt destroyed everything.

It's also really weird being 22 and 0 parent contact no people like that anymore. like fasho everyones on their own by this age but like...people bring parents up a lot. i believe this provides some sort of psychic floor.

not new problems--that is the thing. if i made time line in october 2023: 'what will emotional world be for next year'

october-depressed no money

november-really really depressed. Try to set apartment up.

december- i have money, i m more settled. I m alone. i bought lalique encre noire

january-new year. New air. the obsolescence of the forms that developed by the end of the previous year will be made known. i need new clothes all i Do is work: A few uniqlo orders.

february - What am i doing. i'm ok now but what am i doing. I really want a girilfriend. Everyone is having fun here, i just drive the bus and listen to bladee read books kinda work friends but everyone just talks about skiing idk about any of it. Bored it's cold out

march - Ok i got a girlfriend............wwoooaaahhhhhhh ... springtime(?)

April-my new girlfriend is leaving town FUCK!!!! Everyone is leaving town but i'm not because i need more moneyh to move to chicago.

may-ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what am i doing. O yea that's right saving money. however, what else

june-what the FUCK am i doing! If im working allthe time i should buy some clothes.

july-Everyone says june july big summer months in this town. A million times from some: "Nick, we're going to get you outside." like ok fasho sitting on rubber things floating on water drinking beer maybe once. Trying not to be antisocial but damn these bruhs are boring

august-probably still alone...maybe visit Las VEgas and see everyone again.

september--i'm leaving...everything is transparent...every wall is pure white...

any i would have been exactly correct!

it is strange to have nothing to look forward to. i think about moving to chicago, it is abstract but also like i think about it: i get there, i get job figured out , i have some apartment with reddit peo[le. there's money again so i don't need to worry too much. But the feeling is not like how i felt moving to nyc: stomach buzz. Because i was doing that with someone. with number 1. but this is just me. undifferentiated sea of me. but i am 22: a young man. there are many people. does anyone have feeling like having people lifetime connections u know will be with u forever cuz theyve already seen u thru crazy? and then the thought of building new friendships of same gravity seems insane? like not even impossible just like...the .last person who entered my life and became a fundamental part of my world was spring2022. so like i just move to chicago and exist there whateva that means and eventually i meet more people who i cant imagine living without? Do it all over again? Because like more banal friendships low key do not interest very much. LIike its love only. But also im older i have less to figure out. a lot less: gratitude! but like now that im fine most of the time what is the fabric of a friendship if it isnt founded on some very basic fractured element of your respective psyches?

But also solitude has revealed many things. one: thinking, hypothesizing about all life is futile. every form takes another form and impermanence is truth. When things actually happen they never feel anything like you expect them to.

i need to keep this sapphire of social life in my mind: be the realest bruh anyone has ever met and everything else will iron itself out.

[one-abuse-survivor]

im recovering, slowly but its happening, snd its weird. i feel my emotions a lot stronger now, its been around 6 months since i left my parents' house and some days are great, i feel stronger and way more confident than i ever did there, i have an amazing job and i just love life. but there are days where everything is just too much, like today. every part of me hurts on the inside and im just tired. its like my heart aches and my chest has an emotional pain inside of it. my grandad died 4 years ago almost, and i feel like im finally getting the chance to grieve him. every day i miss him more and more and i just want him back. it feels like he died yesterday. my nanan died just over a year ago and i feel like im just processing shes gone. im grieving my grandparents, my parents(who they used to be before they abused me), and my (practically nonexistent) childhood all at once and it just hurts inside. its a hurt that makes me feel alive but i just want it to stop and leave me alone. im hoping this is a normal/regular thing people like me go through, and im also hoping it gets better soon. i know it wont in the near future, i feel all the memories coming back some days and i can only process one or two at a time, and it sometimes frustrates me because i want to get it over with, like ripping a bandaid off, but i just cant, and it has to be done step by step. i just miss my grandparents. a lot. im crying a lot more lately too, just feeling my emotions so much stronger since ive started to truly process my trauma. do they stay this strong or settle down? im triggered pretty easily, which, in time, i hope stops happening so easily. i know recovery is a hard road but im thankful and very grateful that i got the chance to start it so early in life. im 19, moved out at 18, and its a bit hard, just so thankful i have a good therapist 😂 sometimes i just get so angry at everything and want to just hurt myself to make the pain stop, or just feel like i do today, slow and tired and achy. i get the rare amazingly happy day, and make sure i enjoy it, dw hahah but idk i just wanted to vent/say this in hopes of hearing that other people are going through this too, and that im not alone

Hey, nonnie. I'm so glad to hear you're away from your parents and recovering from the abuse and trauma you endured. That's amazing, I'm really happy for you ❤️

Yes, in my experience, it is normal to experience these sort of shifts inside you, especially during the first few years of recovery. I personally also went through phases where I would cry almost daily, phases where my emotions seemed out of control, or where I randomly felt immense grief/anger/sadness/disgust. And I can tell you that, in my case, with the help of time and therapy, the bad days, which used to be frequent and leave me exhausted, have become rare and much more manageable. Now, 5 years into recovery, I can have a bad trauma moment (hell, I can even run into my mother) and still enjoy the rest of my day. And my emotions have become much more stable, too. I rarely feel like I'm not in control of them.

Obviously, not everything is easy or perfect. I still live with PTSD, and there's plenty of things I still need to keep working on, like being vulnerable and trusting others, but... The good days have definitely become the norm over time, instead of the exception. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I had a proper emotional flashback or ugly-cried from how overwhelmed I felt (knocking on wood, haha).

So, yes, nonnie, it does get better with time. Recovery isn't linear—I'm sure you've heard that already—but it does get better. Though there may be ups and downs, and you might go through completely unexpected lows as you process all your emotions, the tendency will be to move upwards, and, if you're anything like me, one day you'll wake up and realise you can't even remember the last time you ugly-cried or felt like the world was ending. You'll just be living your life.

You're doing amazingly! There might still be bad days ahead of you, but there are countless good days to come, too.

I hope you can find ways to safely express your anger with the help of your therapist, and I hope you have the space and tools to process some of your grief and trauma memories as they resurface.

Sending a big virtual hug ❤️

Oh, and if anyone else wants to reassure anon that they're not alone, feel free to do so!

[sleepy-achilles]

Person who asked for “Leon’s Nightmare: 2”: That was awesome! Thank you so much❣️ I think a part 3 would be really interesting as well!

I didn't think at the time of me writing Leon's nightmare that it would become a multipart series. I'm loving it. I do wish I knew what my og plan for this was.

Normal Leon nightmare warnings apply. Are they needed? Probably not, idk I haven't written the thing yet. But better safe than sorry

The Family of Destruction- Leon's Nightmare part tree

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--Last chapter--

--three tasty years later--

Drew sighs as he places the towel around his neck. "You did great tonight kid. You may of lost the match but to your people? You won." Taker states. "Thats because I did. If solo didn't turn up I'd have that belt!" Drew snaps.

Taker doesn't respond. Drew looks at him confused. "What? What is it?" Drew asks. "Something is off.." Taker whispers. "Sorry about that old man" a familiar voice chuckles. "Been awhile"

Both men turn to see the familiar figure stood in the doorway wearing his signature smirk and a sudden beard.

"Leon?!"

----

"Hey darlin" Leon smiles. Taker watches in amusement as drew punches his son. Leon groans and holds his face. "Okay, I deserved that" Leon mutters. Drew hisses as he shakes his hand. "Three whole damn years! You deserve a lot more than that!" Drew barks. Leon lowers his hand to reveal a bloody nose. Drew feels immediately bad but then remembers the times Leon taps his nose trying to be cocky and it sets off a blood fall. "I know that" Leon mutters. "Three whole years! Not a word! Nothing!" Drew yells. Leon doesn't say anything knowing drew needs this. "I married you! All of you! Demons and all! And you left me!" Drew continues.

Drew turns away and lets a groan of anger. "I can't believe you" drew whispers. "And yet you still wear the ring. Are you more upset I didn't contact or more upset I took too long to come back?" Leon asks. Drew glances down at his ring before clenching his fist. He hates when the bastard is right. "Im going to shower." He whispers before pushing past him and leaving.

Taker hums and places a hand on Leon's shoulder. "Some advice. Maybe don't profile your love after being gone for three years" Taker tells him. Leon looks at him. "Ill remember that one next time." Leon huffs. "Gonna tell me what happened?" Taker asks, not removing his hand off Leon's shoulder. Leon tenses and looks at it. "I've had a tough few years Dad. You might want to remove that hand." Leon warns quietly. Taker raises an eyebrow before turning Leon and pushing him against the wall, leaving a hand pressed against his chest. "You gonna keep that?" Taker asks nodding at the beard. Leon let's out a bitter chuckle. "I've been locked in a box in the middle of nowhere with hexes locking me in. I haven't exactly had a razor in fear of.." Leon trails off. "You know that wouldn't work, right?" Taker asks. "I've been human from the moment I shut that door to the moment before I open. Weird three fuckin years. Don't really wanna talk about it. The time or him." Leon snaps.

Taker hums and pretends to think about it. "How long did he have you possessed?" Taker asks. Leon sighs. "That night before I left. He actually touched me. Choked me. That's when he blew his own cover. Showed me that he was close and that I had to act fast." Leon mutters. "And is he gone?" Taker asks. "Yeah. I'm not possessed anymore." Leon states. Taker notes the lack of, no he's not here. "Now will you let me go?" Leon asks. Taker examines him. "You and me are hopping on a flight and you are going to apologise to your pa for disappearing." Taker explains. "What am I? 17 again?" Leon growls. "Act it, be treated it. Move. I'll go grab drew and cassie." Taker orders. "Yessir." Leon whispers.

Taker pulls away and watches Leon's eyes lower. Taker doesn't start. He knows Leon, what he just did? That was pushing it over the line. Taker knows better than to push too far.

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Drew walks into their house, Leon close behind. "You know I'm sorry..I.. I was a danger to myself never mind everyone else." Leon states. "Pizza?" Drew asks. Leon pauses and watches as Drew removes his jacket and kicks his shoes off. "I could go for pizza." Leon states. "Ill phone it in, go take a shower-" "Drew. I didn't have a match" Drew freezes.

Leon sighs and steps closer. "The last three years...I've still been here, haven't I?" Leon asks quietly. Drew looks back at him with watery eyes. "I missed you so much Leon.. why...why didn't you tell me?" Drew asks quietly. "I was scared"

Drew stares at him shocked. Leon never admits feelings like that, even with Drew. "What?" Drew asks. "I was scared he'd harm you. I..I had a nightmare the night I was attacked. About you..about hurting you. I couldn't. I had to leave. For you more than me." Leon whispers. Drew finds himself moving closer. "You scared us all Leon...your father couldn't feel you, John was having the weirdest night..well daymares..and nightmares..and I.. I was scared for you." Drew admits. Leon huffs and tilts his head down. "Just needed to hear your voice Lee...know you were okay" drew whispers cupping Leon's face and lifting his head. Leon smiles slightly. "Im okay" he whispers.

Drew frowns, rubbing his thumb over Leon's cheek. "You will be" drew promises quietly. Leon's eyes widen slightly. "You will be." Drew repeats before pulling him into a kiss.

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Leon stares at the ceiling, his mind hazy, unfocused. His ears picking up the sound of drews heartbeat, his chest sensitive to drews hot breathe against it. He strains his ears further to pick up Charlie snoring in the doorway. That damn dog appears anywhere, always scares drews cats. That damn dog should be dead. He was born months before Leon. And well Leon's old.

Back to Leon's current drama.

He can't move. He can focus on sounds, the way drews fingers twitch against his stomach in his sleep, the way the house smells of pizza still. And that damn nagging voice in the back of his head.

"Let me back in. I'll play nice...please.." Ministry whispers. Leon shudders as the ceiling forms into a face. Leon feels his muscles tense. "Ill leave him alone! Cmon!"

Drew groans quietly as Leon's chest spasms under him and his heartbeat suddenly fades. "Lee?" He whispers lifting his head. He sits up when he gets nothing. His eyes widen as Leon's body starts to shake, his eyes rolled back. "Leon!" Drew yells waking the dog up. Charlie barks and rushes over, jumping on the bed. Drew watches as the dog growls and snarls at something by Leon's side of the bed. "Charlie? Leon! Lee! Fu-fuck!" Drew gasps moving and grabbing his phone. His hands shake and his mind goes numb as he starts dialing 911. He stops as a hand grabs his wrist. "No hosptials" Leon's voice is distorted. Drews eyes widen. Not Leon's voice.

"Skelly?" Drew asks looking up. Skelly tilts his head and smiles. "Been awhile since I heard that name" he chuckles, his eyes glowing purple, the skeleton face paint suddenly on his face. "Whats happened to Leon?" "I didnt mean to scare you. Its been three years trapped in a dark box for me drew. He's not fed me because of that bastard trying to steal my vessel" Skelly huffs. Drew hits his chest. "Leon's body is not so-" "I know, I know. You tell me everytime." Skelly groans sitting up. "Whats he told you about ministry?" Skelly asks. "Nothing. What do you know?" Drew asks.

"I know that he is Undertakers younger form. A demon taker pushed out when he became human again. Its interesting, Undertaker has always been special, he gained many demons in his ves-body, ministry was always the most evil and dangerous one." Skelly explains pushing the covers back. Drew just watches, admires the way a purple light builds on Skelly body. It'll form a skeleton soon. It is why he's called the skeleton King after all. "Ministry was pissed and wanted back in. Problem, shawn michaels had changed taker a lot. Other problem, Ministry could linger, saw John but, John was human. Saw baby Leon michaels. Baby Leon michaels who wasn't fully human. Now him? That was something he could attach too. Not the only demon or spirit to attach to that damn baby. Unlucky bastard" Skelly huffs pulling some jeans on.

Drew watches him but doesn't speak. It was hard to get Skelly to talk, he wasn't going to stop him now. "He was going to use Leon to get to taker, but as Leon grew, he understood how powerful we were and decided he wanted that instead. And also, its more fun to kill a man whilst using his sons body" Skelly huffs. Skelly pulls a sweater on before looking at drew. "But you, you came along" Skelly points out. "Me?" Drew asks. "Yeah, really opened that human in him. You are his Shawn michaels to his undertaker. Kept me at peace let's say" Skelly smirks.

Skelly leans in close. "Real peace" he smirks. Drew scans his face. "Are you stronger than ministry?" Drew asks quietly. "If you are asking me if I'll keep you and Michaels safe, the answer is yes. When he keeps me fed and lets me. I don't like being locked up in the dark drew. And I don't like being hungry." Skelly smirks before pulling back. "So, where are you going?" Drew asks. "You know the answer to that pretty boy!" Skelly calls walking out.

Drew smiles and lays back down. "Asshole" he whispers, the smile still large.

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Notes

I have a feeling their might be a part 4. Idk.

I just knew this was the perfect chance to get more into Leon's demonology.

Finn has the Demon Prince. Leon has the Skeleton King.

Difference is both Leon and skelly are demons. Leon just happens to be born human, so hybrid whilst skelly is full on from hell. And they have both shared the same birthday and same body, they are the same person. Idk it's late. I'm tired. He's basically what ministry taker is to taker. You get me?

Enjoy :)

Oh yea, now that I've finally completed my task of introducing skelly (despite the fact he's always technically been here..i just have never gone out of my way to separate the two. Youll see it now though when rereading fics centered on lee), I will be taking yk questions about him.

[normalestgirlblog]

issue

I am running into a bit of an issue

as those who read my blog which is few know i have embarked upon a long distance situationship with a boy who i have had a thing for for quite some time. i am really happy, and he is really sweet, and i think that when we are no longer long distance it could be something good.

however

i am running into a bit of an issue regarding his past dalliances. he had an alcohol fueled one night stand with one of my best friends in the entire world. and this is no ordinary best friend. she is perhaps one of the most beautiful creatures to ever walk upon the earth and grace its presence. the first time i saw her, i was so taken by her beauty and smile and spirit i stg i fell in love at first sight and knew i had to make her mine in whatever capacity she allowed. we became instantaneous friends freshman year and have been by eachothers side ever since. i was by her side the night we both met him and she went home with him. i was also taken by him as was she, but i could see that they were the ones fucking that night. plus i was fucking wasteddddd as was she, and him. and honestly when im wasted fucking is the last thing on my mind so even if she werent there idk if i would have successfully put on the moves.

anyways

as he and i are beginning to know eachother better, i find myself at odds with my brain. we have already dicussed him and elizabeth, and i asked her well before i began talking to him if she cared or minded that i wanted to pursue something with him, to which she said she didnt. he also didnt have any qualms about it other than feeling bad that it was a one night stand and he didnt pursue her following.

i think it may also be worth it to mention that i have been in this situation before. my former situationship had sex with my cousin, which was ultimately the reason why we had sex, and my cousin is also one of the most beautiful people to walk this earth. i tried not to let it bother me when he and i began getting more serious, but i could not get out of my mind that he had sex with someone i both love and someone so incredibly breathtaking its annoying. i didnt like that he followed them, i didnt like that they mentioned how they hooked up. but i didnt let it affect me to the point that i broke up with him or stopped talking to them or anything bad. i just kinda suppressed it

i am surrounded by beauty and it is so amazing and yet fueling my deepest insecurities. i am no stranger to this, i have known all my life that my friends were more desirable than i. its not a bad thing, i think all my friends are beautiful and deserve all the appreciation in the world. at times though, i have found it can make me insecure.

anyways back to the boy. i have wanted to send him pictures where i look good, or just memories, but she is in them. and she is so stunning its nauseating. i cant bring myself to send them. what if he saw it, realized how beautiful she was, and used me to get back to her. or just ended it with me outright bc he couldnt be with me while im so close to her. idk why my mind goes to these places. i cant help it. its also 5 am and i havent been able to sleep.

also i feel weird talking to her abt it, but i love talking to her about boys. its one of my favorite hobbies. and yet i feel awkward esp rn considering out of the two of us currently she is the only one to have seen his penis.

maybe this is also because he met us both and had sex with her and doesnt even remember meeting me. maybe she is prettier than i am. i wouldnt doubt for a second she is more memorable than i am. i thought abt her for a whole week after we barely met. and now i dont even want to talk to either of them.

idk why i keep doing this to myself and hooking up with people that have hooked up with my friends. i try so hard to be secure and confident and i dont know if i can make it past this one. i am really scared but atp i def have feelings for him. im just gonna ball it out and hope for the best and repress these feelings until i am alone and can express them on here.

[rosie-rosem]

ranting again bc it’s not like i can tell anyone else this.

last week my sister and i got invited by an old friend of my sister that grew up with us but moved away and just recently moved back. him and my sister are the same age, they went to elementary school together and that’s how they met, we also later found out he was the nephew of one of my moms close friends. 

anyway, we’ve know him since we were all young but we hadn’t seen him in a while due to him living hours away until now.

i’m already an awkward person but this didn’t help because it was basically just him and my sister at the dinner table. i know he thinks of us as old friends/sisters but i didn’t even feel like i was there lol. what’s the point of even getting invited?

and i don’t mean any of this in a weird way cause he already has a girlfriend and he just wanted to catch up with us, but it seriously just felt like he brought me along so i wouldn’t be left out.

i haven’t gotten my license yet (yes, as an ‘04) 😭 i decided to wait, which i’m currently in the process of getting it, but literally all they talked about was driving (note: i have no interest in driving i just know i need to do it) so the talk of driving literally bores me to death and lowkey stresses me out, and that all they talked about because they had that in common? i guess?? i tried to start different conversations but they all somehow changed back to driving??

and then i soon realized that i was just the “friends little sister” because i was quickly uncomfortable and wanted to leave just from a few comments. (note: they are a less than two years older than me).

he brought up something about driving to my sister and how there was this one person (around my age) that didn’t know the difference between something (which neither did i). and he noticed that i made a face at the comment and said “did you even know that?” “i saw you make a face” i was confused but said “i wouldn’t be able to tell you that answer” again IM LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE RN SO OFC IDK EVERYTHING. he literally laughed before giving me the answer. i felt so uncomfortable and humiliated like what.

i’m also just sensitive which is something i’m insecure about because all my friends are older than me and i’m constantly getting belittled or feel stupid because i don’t know “the right answer”

idk i may just be dramatic but this was seriously so uncomfy. i don’t even know why i was invited, he asked me maybe three questions the few hours we were with him. “i want to catch up with you guys” literally just don’t invite me next time only if you think i’ll feel left out, i won’t.

i think i’m just frustrated from still being treated like a little kid from everyone because i’m always the youngest..

anyhow don’t mind the bad grammar and whatever and sorry if this didn’t fully make sense, i’m ranting at 1:30am so i’m tired 😖

stay safe and healthy 🤍

-rosie

[thelastof17]

Wed, May 6, 2023 (2:21am)

i turn 18 in 25 days. i know it probably won’t feel very different on the day but i’m still scared. i want to be 17 forever. it’s the perfect age. my parents are still in their 40s, my brother is in middle school, my sisters in college but still living at home, luna is only two years old, we just adopted coco. i feel like i might lose my mind. i know i sound dramatic but i’ve been having an existential crisis for the last 4 years, and aging has only made it worse (yes i know im only 17) so i kind of a reason to freak out. anyway i just wanted to write abt some of the things that have happened this year because my memory is terrible and i want to remember everything... or at least the things that matter. the things that might not matter a decade from now but at least for rn, make me happy. and i’ll take that anywhere i can get it. it’s been the hardest year of my life. i’m actually writing this as im healing from my wisdom teeth extraction. i got all four  removed on wed and its sat. they were impacted too so i had to get stitches. its been a weird recovery. i finished the umbrella academy and it made me feel even more aware of my existence and mortality. i feel funny. i can’t walk or breathe without feeling how incredibly weird it is that i’m alive and i can... idk do things? have free will? i can move if i choose to, or walk, or speak, or see, or smell, every action feels big and i feel small. how does that work?

[wri0thesley]

omg wait no hold on I just requested overhaul but then I remembered your overhaul thirst post about him pulling a "curing hysteria~" as an excuse and thought I'd request something along that vibe (no oun intended). I think that'd fall under orgasm control, overstim? (hope this is okay!)

hysteria antidote - overhaul x fem!reader (4k)

seeing nothing but the same four walls every day of your life is playing havoc with your brain. overhaul thinks perhaps you're suffering from hysteria. he has the perfect cure for that.

cw: not sfw/minors dni. dark content!!! dubious/non-consent. captive reader. talk of death, blood, etc. medical kink, gloves, fingering, overstimulation, orgasm control. misogyny. mentions of pregnancy/breeding. afab reader, fem pronouns.

[a/n: idk the internet said the 28th of may was his birthday so consider this both a birthday fic and a fic to celebrate 6k followers, sorry that i am gross and horrible but tbh im having a great time <3]

You really don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to be going out of your mind.

Since the Boss was taken ill, and Kai – Overhaul, you remind yourself, though he’s always just a little less sharp with you when you trip over the new name than he is with anyone else – took over leadership of the Shie Hassaikai, you’ve been pretty much stuck indoors.

Considering that you’re pretty sure he only has fond feelings towards maybe three people in the entire world, including you, you guess you ought to feel special about it – but all it actually does is make you feel like a trapped bird, caged and restless. It doesn��t help that all of the other members of the organisation have started being weird around you; people who you’ve known most of your adult life, people who you’ve worked beside and killed beside and done other horrible things beside (for the good of the organisation, of course)--

But now, they look at you like you might break at any moment. They treat you like an invalid. Their brows crease when they see you out and about, quietly murmuring; “Shouldn’t you still be in your room?”, avoiding touching you at all costs. There’s a kind of fear in their eyes, that they’re going to be told off for even speaking to you, that they’re afraid of being caught close to you.

And you know exactly who’s to blame for that.

You’d tried to speak to him about it, once; you’d thought that perhaps he might be amenable to your desire to do something to help the Shie Hassaikai. He’s always wanted to restore them to their former glory, after all! But after you’d let out your little impassioned tirade, his eyebrows had creased over the bird-mask.

“You don’t sound well,” he’d said to you. “Go back to your room. I’ll talk to you about it later.”

You had missed, at the time, that he hadn’t said ‘we’ll talk about it later’. He’d just said ‘I’ll’. When he had come, that is how it had been; the reassurance that he was keeping you safe. That he didn’t want you to be tainted. That he was keeping you well.

Your quirklessness has never been an issue before, but it certainly hasn’t been a boon. Still, for Kai--

“It’s disgusting,” he’d said, agitated by the discussion. You’d stared at his hands, thinking about the destructive power he himself wielded. “Quirks are a curse, and you not having one is just proof you’re not infected.” He’d looked up, golden eyes piercing directly into yours. “I’m going to keep you perfect.”

Overhaul is not a doctor, for all of his talk about illness and disease and plague. You think he could have used his quirk for something meaningful, once; but you also know that his burning curiousity, his disgust of anyone who deems tainted, his utter lack of morality . . . those are all things that would not have been welcomed in the medical profession. So instead, he deals in needles and pills and altering drugs in the underground labyrinth of the compound.

Sterile rooms, with examination tables and scalpels and impersonal, silver-grey equipment. Pill boxes that rattle when he passes them to you and tells you to take three of those a day, one of those, that one has to be taken to with food--

The idea that you won’t take them doesn’t enter his head, and though he has never . . . overhauled someone in front of you, you have walked past other members of the organisation mopping and disinfecting blood and gristle from sterile flooring.

It is better to go along with him, so you take the supplements and the pills and submit to the way he grabs your chin in gloved hands on the doctor’s chair, tipping your face up to shine a light into your eyes and watch your pupils dilate. But inside, you are screaming.

You’re not made to be locked in one room, occasionally allowed out to pace the hallways of the upstairs – never the underground ones, not any more – with restless footsteps and your muscles fizzing with desire to taste fresh air. You’re not made to stare at the same walls and breathe the purified air and think about how empty the compound is, now that Overhaul is in charge of everything--

(Too many knick-knacks attract dust. Pollen allergies act up, if there are too many plants, and he hates hearing people sneeze. Furniture should be easily movable and barren, to assist in the twice-daily cleanings of every room that people walk through.)

But it’s getting too much for you. Suffocating. You feel like you’re choking on air all of the time; you take the pills, because the thought of what he could do to you is terrifying, but sometimes you wonder if perhaps it would be better if you didn’t.

You’d woken up that morning to the sound of rain hitting the high windows in your bedroom, and you had longed to go outside in your thin nightwear and spread your arms and taste the air, smell the rain, feel it hit your body in fat droplets. Your entire being had ached. You’d tried to distract yourself, with what little there was in the barren prison cell that you called a bedroom – but when the door opened at four thirty exactly, and Kai had stood there with his face as impassive as ever, you had not been able to stop yourself.

Hand fastening around his upper arm (you shouldn’t touch him, you know you shouldn’t, but the same four walls are getting to you), you’d begged him;

“I want to go outside.”

If anyone else had touched him like that, they would already be splattered against the walls and floor. But all you get is a furrow of his eyebrows, careful fingers (gloved, of course; the latex against your skin always makes you shudder) pinching at your hand to get you to let go of him.

“No,” he says. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“I don’t care,” you’re petulant, you know, frustration bubbling up in every cell of your body. “If I stay in here for one more day, I will tear myself into pieces.”

“You’re being over-dramatic.”

“Kai—”

“Don’t call me that.” His rebuttal is sharp. “You know I’m doing this for your own good.”

Your face twists into something ugly. Overhaul hates it when you do that; hates the way your brow wrinkles, your mouth moves, your normally lovely face (one of very few he can bear to look at unmasked and not feel as though he is going to get sick from merely breathing the same air of you) marred.

“You’re not,” you hiss at him. “You’re doing this because you’re fucked up! Because you’ve got some weird fucking ideas about what’s clean and what’s unclean, because you’re on a power trip, because you don’t care about other people--” Your voice is pitching and modulating, all of the things that you usually try and keep balled up inside of you spilling out that the floodgates of how unhappy you are is open.

You’re breathing heavy as Overhaul, clearly irked by what you’re saying, tugs at the wrist of one of his surgical gloves. If he’s going to kill you, good – at least it will be better than this, you think, your breath coming in short sharp pants after the outburst.

He lets go. His hands fall to his sides. His golden gaze on you is very level.

“You’re hysterical,” he tells you. An exasperated laugh falls from your mouth.

“Yeah?” You ask him. “Of course I am. Do you know the last time I breathed fresh air?”

“Seven months, two weeks, three days.” He says it without blinking. Your shoulders tense. Has it really been that long? “You haven’t been ill once in that time. The world out there is filthy.”

“It’s normal to get sick,” you try and tell him, but Overhaul is moving forward; past the doorway, and into your room. The door clicks shut behind him, the sound of a lock ominous. You don’t think you’ve ever been alone with Kai in your bedroom.

In the medical examination rooms, sure. In his office. In common areas, back when he was just the boss’ troubled protege and not the boss himself--

His eyebrows twitch in disgust as he notices the dust on your bookshelves. You’d stopped letting any of the cleaners in here a month ago; you’d refused to clean in the mean time, taking whatever small victory against your captor that you could.

“You’ll give yourself respiratory issues,” he says.

“Good,” your voice is cold, but you realise you’ve backed away from him. For all of your attempts to stand up to him, you’re terrified. Everyone knows what he can do. “Better dead than here--”

Gloved fingers around your wrist, so tight you can practically feel them bruising.

“You don’t mean that,” he says. His voice has gotten softer, cajoling. You’re trembling in his grip. “I told you. You’re hysterical.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” you say, but your words feel like you’re spitting them out around a mouthful of gravel. “I—I’m calm--”

Your knees knock against your bed, but Overhaul is still clinging to you; still too close. Your heart is beating so fast that you can hear it pounding in your ears.

“You’re not. You’re hysterical.” He repeats it, calmly. The hand not on your wrist reaches up and cups your face, a gloved thumb stroking across your cheek as if you’re the most delicate thing he’s ever touched. The scent of the latex is overwhelming. “But that’s alright. It’s not your fault.” He clicks his tongue behind the mask. “It’s mine. All of this checking for the physical sickness, and I didn’t think about checking your head.”

You fall onto the bed as his knees knock against yours, your back hitting the wall. It’s just a plain, single bed; rumpled sheets, because you’d fought against any attempt for someone to come in and collect your laundry, too. Overhaul looks silly in your room, you think dimly; like a huge black crow in the nest of a small, frightened wren.

“If you fight,” he tells you, “I’ll disassemble you. I’d rather not. I don’t want to taint you by using my quirk. But . . .” He’s sinking to his knees in front of you, those same methodical hands pushing up the skirt of your dress. “If I did, I’d get a blank mind to work with. I won’t hesitate. But I’d still rather simply fix you without having to break you into pieces first.”

You know him too well to think that he’s bluffing.

After all of the vitriol you’ve spat at him, he’s unwilling to kill you. Would it be worse, to be mindless and brainless under Kai’s quirk? You’ve heard some of his failed experiments before; babbling, drooling, broken things. He’s killed them sometimes just to put them out of their misery.

What if he did that, and your mind remained perfectly capable – just utterly unable to communicate with your body? A prisoner in your own skin. Worse than even now. You swallow back the lump of fear.

“H-how are you going to do that?” You ask him.

You start at how cold the gloved fingers are on your bare thighs, as Overhaul pushes them apart. Cold fear prickles down your spine. You’re too scared to fight back, but everything he’s doing is making you want to run.

“Did you know,” Overhaul says, those same hands sliding higher, to tug at the waistband of your underwear. “In the past, there were rumours that doctors would cure hysteria by genital massage and stimulation?”

His words are very clinical, but there’s a thickness to his voice behind the mask that fills you with revulsion.

“It might be nonsense, of course,” he says. Your underwear is being tugged down, pulled around your thighs, your knees, your ankle. “They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth--”

“Kai—” Your voice is a soft whine, fear-filled. This time, he doesn’t snap at you for calling him by the name he’s left behind. He simply says;

“Spread your legs.”

You don’t want to. But you want to risk what he’s threatening you with even less, so you tearfully open them as wide as you can go. He shifts forward, and the tip of the beaked mask digs into your inner thigh as he studies you like you’re nothing more than a diagram, not a living, breathing person--

“Next time I’ll have lubricant ready,” he says, under his breath, and your heart seizes up at the implication that whatever he’s going to do to you, there’ll be a next time.

You start at the sensation of gloved fingers gently parting the lips of your sex, Overhaul’s golden eyes drinking in the sight of you spread open and bare. You’re shaking, but for some reason the way he’s looking at you – the utter concentration in his eyes – makes a curl of heat flare deep inside of you.

“Don’t,” you breathe, trying not to squirm. “Please--”

“I don’t want to have to,” he says. His tone remains calm, unbothered. “I’m doing it for your own good, you know that. Just helping you along.” One finger slides through the slit; the sensation of the gloves against your most intimate, heated parts makes the muscles in your thighs clench. It’s . . . not exactly unpleasant, but neither it is pleasant. “Do you think I’m getting any pleasure out of this?”

He doesn’t like getting his hands dirty. You know this; everyone knows this. If this particular thought was so unpleasant to him, you don’t doubt he’d have found somebody else to do it (the thought of one of the other members of the Shie Hassaikai doing this to you fills you with even more revulsion than the idea of Overhaul himself). But you can’t say that out loud. Not after what he’s threatened. So you press your lips together and shake your head, gasp dying in your throat as one of Overhaul’s latex-covered fingers prods gently around your opening.

“You’re getting wet,” he tells you, as if you can’t feel the shameful slick beginning to leak from you. “That will make this easier. Good.”

You hate that the praise makes another jolt of arousal go through you. You don’t want to like the feeling of his gloves, rubbing at your heated cunt; the sensation of a fingertip circling around your entrance, brushing the bud of your clit and making you want to clamp your thighs around his hand.

He sinks the tip of one finger inside of you and you jerk, your hips out of your control as you try and sink away from the intrusion. Overhaul clicks his tongue again in annoyance at you. The hand holding the lips of your cunt open moves, to land on your hip and pin you between the bed and the wall so you can’t squirm again.

“I’ll sedate you next time, if I have to,” he says. “I’m not getting anything out of this. I’d prefer not to have to do it at all--”

He’s lying. You know he is. But you can’t call him out for it, so you press your trembling lips together and try to stop tears spilling out from your lash line as the finger inside of you sinks further and further inside, past his first knuckle, right down to the base.

He crooks it inside of you and your hands curl into the bedsheets, nails digging into your palms through cotton. His touch is curious, exploratory; has he ever actually done this to anybody before? He slides over a rough patch inside of you with the latex-tipped finger and a moan escapes your mouth against your will, your head falling back against the wall. Narrowed golden eyes look up at you as he repeats the motion; taking in the gloss of your lips, the widening of your eyes, the way your shoulders are shaking up and down.

You can feel yourself pumping more slick out; helping the glide of his finger inside of you, as he begins to carefully thrust it in and out of you. His touch is made all the more impersonal by the mask obscuring everything but his eyes and eyebrows; you can’t even hear him breathing.

Your cunt is fluttering around him, pleasure swarming you in breathless waves as he withdraws his finger entirely. He lifts the glove to his eyeline, looking only vaguely interested in how the white latex glimmers with your arousal.

“I’m going to use two now,” he tells you – and that is all the warning you get before two fingers beside one another are opening you up, scissoring your tight channel apart with an ache that you feel up to your hips. You bite back the whimper, but you’re unable to stop the choked breaths that are falling from you as he fucks you with them in steady, constant thrusts.

A covered thumb brushes your clit; swollen, now. Sensitive. Standing to attention. Your hips attempt to jerk in his hold once more, a strangled noise that’s neither pleasured nor pain falling from your throat. You’ve touched yourself, of course you have – even recently, just to try and assuage some of the boredom that fills your exactly-the-same days – but Overhaul’s fingers and thumbs and touch on you are so entirely different from that.

He continues his assault over your clit, those same eyes watching you with that same detached, clinical disposition that he’s had most of the time. There’s a cast to them that suggests there’s something more, but whatever emotion – if, indeed, he’s still capable of that – he’s feeling about having you at his mercy in this way has been pushed to the back of his mind as his thumb rolls and pinches at the bud.

Your body goes all-over heat, Overhaul’s fingers still pumping in and out of you, the slick noises of your shaming wetness echoing around the prison of the four walls you’ve spent seven months in. You’re teetering on the edge of something, hot and needy and wanting – and as Overhaul’s thumb sweeps over your poor aching clit again, you tilt your hips forward for as much stimulation as you can--

And he pulls his fingers out of you.

The heat fades into nothingness as you let out a noise of disappointment. Overhaul’s head tilts to one side, considering.

“What do you want?” He asks you. “Say it.”

No. You don’t ‘want’. He’s wrong. You keep your mouth pressed tight now that the damning noise has fallen out of it; you have managed to not let the tears trembling in your eyes spill forth. Your gaze meets his, defiant and tired and afraid all at once.

“Alright,” he sighs. “If you’re going to carry on being difficult.”

He does it again; his fingers plunging into you, scissoring you apart, rubbing against your folds with a practised agility now that he’s done it for the first time. He has always been a fast learner; always been observant. His thumb is back on your clit with ceaseless assault, and all over again you feel heat begin to build up; tension that crawls into every crevice of your being and worms its way deep inside you despite how badly you don’t want this.

The hand holding your hip loosens somewhat, allowing you to messily thrust your hips into Overhaul’s stimulation. You’re torn; you shouldn’t want to hump against the gloved fingers stimulating you, you should be wriggling and squirming away. But it feels so good; even with the skin-tight covering of rubbery latex, Overhaul’s fingers seem to find every one of your weak points and exploit them.

There it is again, building up on you; a ball of tension in your stomach being gradually wound tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any moment. Your hips flex against his hand, your fingers clenching and unclenching on the bedsheet--

He denies you the peak of your orgasm for the second time.

And a third.

And a fourth.

“Kai--!” You’re too far gone to even think, after the pleasure has been pulled from you so cruelly, over and over again. The tears spill over your cheeks., rolling down in fat, shaming droplets. Overhaul’s eyes narrow.

“No,” he says, vehement – more emotion in his voice than you’ve heard all day. “You know what to call me.”

You know what he wants you to call him. You know that he wants to leave his old name behind, start again, be someone who can drag the Shie Hassaikai out of the shadows and into light and power once again – and he thinks that the name will help. You gurgle out a sobbing, strangled noise;

“O-Overhaul, please--”

Three fingers are plunged as deep inside of you as they can go, crooked to rub against your sweet spot; as Overhaul murmurs, detached but soft;

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

They thrust into you, his thumb rubbing your clit with firm, certain strokes – and this time, as the orgasm rushes up on you all at once, he doesn’t stop. He fucks you with his fingers through it, his thumb not ceasing the circling. Pleasure washes over you, finally, in great waves and crests. You feel yourself gush on his fingers, soaking him in your wetness (his eyebrows furrow again, at how close your fluid comes to spilling over his bared wrist; but you are too relieved to think about anything other than finally getting what you need).

Your hips flex, gasps falling from your mouth with every thrust of them – and you expect Overhaul to pull his fingers out of you. To stop touching you. Perhaps to strip off his gloves and put on a new pair – you know he always carries spares – and sneer at you as he walks out of the room.

But Overhaul’s fingers do not move from inside of you. The fierce rhythm of his fucking and petting and rubbing does not stop, even as the final aftershocks of your orgasm clench loosely about him and his constant stimulation becomes more of an annoyance than anything else on heated, sensitive skin.

You squirm, trying to push your thighs together to get him to stop touching you – but the hand not fucking you forces your thighs to stay parted with the curl of fingers into supple flesh, leaving you helpless to do anything but let him carry on touching you. Carry on fucking you.

A short, sharp shock of an orgasm rips through you as he swirls his thumb over your clit just so, and you realise that you’re drooling down yourself as well as panting; helpless and sloppy, utterly unable to do anything except lie there and take it until Overhaul decides he’s had enough of touching you.

You come, what? Twice more? Thrice? Until the pulsing of your channel is painful, your skin feeling red raw, your whimpers into the ceiling dry and broken. Only then does he pull his fingers out of you with a lewd pop.

A gush of your fluid that his fingers were stoppering soaks your bedsheets, and you watch, dazed, as Overhaul stands up. He looks down at you for just one moment, that stretches unbearably long in the heat-and-sex soaked atmosphere of the room.

He strips his gloves off of his hands, eyebrows twitching in disgust as he leaves the crumpled latex on your bedside table. He’s sliding on another pair as he speaks;

“Feel better?”

No. No, you don’t. You feel worse. You feel disgusted and violated and aching, your body over-stimulated and exhausted, sweat and drool and bodily fluids clinging to your skin. But if you tell Overhaul that--

“Yes,” you say, voice very soft and small and weak. You cannot see his mouth, but you see the way his eyes flash happily, the overall sensation of him smiling.

Why does Overhaul’s smile make you so scared, when Kai’s smile used to just make you feel warm?

“We’ll need to do it a few more times,” he tells you, as your blood runs to ice in your veins. “Such maladies aren’t cured in a day, after all. But . . .” He turns, rearranging himself carefully, his mask readjusted. You can’t see him as he speaks the next words. “I’d like to try some of the other suggested remedies, too.”

You think of his earlier words.

‘They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth.’

You’re never going to escape, are you? You’re going to be trapped in this compound until the day you die, and Overhaul is going to think that he’s keeping you safe--

“Take a shower,” he says to you, as he opens the door. It is not a suggestion. “And stop not letting the maids come in here to clean. I’m not having you get sick.”

You think he might be the sick one.

[angelyuji]

I also love Yan!Spiderman, there will never be enough content for him ! Can I request a headcannon ? Or a blurb, whatever you prefer ? I love the amnesia trope, like the reader having long-term amnesia after an accident or whatever and yan!Spiderman swooping in, saying they have been dating for months... You may get suspicious of how flustered he gets but he knows so much about you, he can't be lying, right ? 😚

17+

cw// stalking, non-consensual picture taking, kind of kidnapping, familial neglect, car accident caused by superheroes, non-consensual kissing, non-consensual touching, forced hugs, lying, manipulation, “gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss” energy, implied murder, peter being a crybaby to guilt trip you, idk peter being gross and pervy and being a liar, toxic relationship (kind of because you’re kinda not aware of the fact that he sucks and he’s lying)

· OMGBESTIE sorry i just absolutely ADORE the amnesia trope in yandere fics GHJKJHGF

· it’s just so perfect *chef’s kiss*

· anyway

· you got into accident that totally not caused by peter…yeah, it was totally definitely the criminal’s fault …

· but i mean, why were you driving in the middle of a villain attack anyway? oh, you had to go to work?...so??? peter didn’t give you the ok?????

· right, so he’s tossing cars and trying to bring justice (or something like that) and he saw you coming, but alas, he's too late

· you see something hurtling towards your car as you stop at a red light. you squint your eyes, “oh. ha, that’s a car…wait”

· peter was only a couple feet away when he sees the truck he threw slam against the hood of your car, crumpling the hood like it’s made of aluminum foil. time moves in slow motion as peter tries to reach you. out of reflex, peter shoots his webs to move you from impact. he can feel himself move, but his mind shuts down. when he regains consciousness, you’re in his arms, passed out, but seemingly unscathed. he feels relief, then fury. peter barely noticed when the paramedics came to move you out of his arms. he turns to the villain, his whole body shaking, and launches himself at the man.

· you end up in the hospital for a brain injury that left you in a coma and peter literally never left your side. he came every day and stayed by your side until visiting hours were over, and came into your room at night as spiderman after patrol.

· the hospital staff saw him so much that they assumed you were both in a relationship, so when you woke up at night during his patrol hours, they called him first.

· they called your parents after…weird, i know

· “how do you feel?”

· “fine, i guess. tired, surprisingly” you chuckle dryly and the doctor smiles.

· “fine is good. what’s the last thing you remember?”

· “…um….i can’t… I don’t-”

· “hey, it’s okay. take your time.” the doctor tries to be reassuring, but you feel panic bubble. what’s going on, why can’t you remember what happened? what’s happening to you? your breathing turns rough and the air feels thicker as you seem to remember less and less of what you should know. all of a sudden, two arms wrap around you and pull you into them.

· “it’s gonna be okay” they mumble into your hair as you cry into their shirt.

· peter and the doctor eventually figured out that you were missing 4 years of your life. the 4 years that you’ve lived in queens, to be exact.

· peter realizes exactly what he has to do when the doctor pulls him and your family aside to explain the situation

· (they had asked him who tf he was and he, in a panic to not be kicked out, said y’all were dating)

· he offers your family a way out, a way to not take the stress of taking care of you, by letting him take care of you

· “i love them. i can’t lose them and i won’t lose them, so please, let me take care of them”

· honestly, your family was lowkey relieved that peter offered to take care of you, not even remembering that you have never mentioned this man in any conversation (who has amnesia now??)

· peter would go into your room and tell you that you’re going home with him

· “what? what about my family?”

· “they’re okay with it. they have a lot going on and, as your boyfriend-”

· “boyfriend? i’ve never seen you before in my life?”

· “no! no, we started dating when you moved to queens!" at your blank stare, he lowers his head slightly and you see tears fall, "i wish you would remember”

· peter will pull out his pictures of you saying stuff like “then how do i have these pictures?? hmm????” and fake crying to make it seem like he was your grieving boyfriend

· he’ll be constantly mentioning the fact that he’s your boyfriend to you and to others (at some point, ur confused on whether he’s trying to convince you or trying to convince himself) “as your boyfriend’ “your boyfriend” “i love being with you and going on dates haha yk since im your bf”

· he’ll make up different stories from places he’s seen you. if he stalked you while you were walking at the park, he’ll say you both went on walks often. if you went on picnics by yourself often, he’ll say you constantly had picnic dates. had a fun day at the arcade? more like, you had fun day at the arcade with peter!

· peter’s smart, he uses these events as a way of tricking your brain into thinking that each memory you recover of these moments are just moments that are missing him, and eventually, he’ll start appearing in memories

· peter would take you to his apartment and absolutely REFUSE to let you leave, he’ll have an excuse ready to make sure you can’t leave your new home

· “the doctor said you shouldn’t move too much”

· he’ll make you sleep in the same bed as him, go on dates with him, hug and kiss him like “you used to do” with the excuse of “the doctor said you should do things that you used to do before the accident to start remembering everything”

· …riiight

· “are you coming to bed?” you lay in his bed, waiting for peter.

· “i-i sorry, yes, I-” peter stumbles on his words as he stands by the bed.

· you sit up in annoyance, “peter, you said we slept together. what’s wrong?”

· peter turns bright red, “no! nothing’s wrong! it’s nothing, i-i’m coming to bed in a sec.” you lay back down and soon you feel him crawl into bed. you turn your back to him, but peter pulls you closer to him and start leaving kisses down your back.

· “what are you doing.” you whisper into the darkness. his small touches feel foreign on your skin and your body itches to move in disgust.

· “i’m helping you sleep. uh-before, i helped you fall sleep like this, maybe this’ll help you remember” peter pushes his head into the crook of your neck and holds you closer, his fingers grazing under your shirt and feeling your stomach.

· you try to move away without panicking, “maybe, we’re moving too fast? i kinda need some spa-” you feel peter freeze.

· “do-do you not love me anymore?” you feel peter’s tears before you hear his sniffles, “i didn’t want to push you, but i just missed you so much and i thought that you were starting to remember how much you love me.” his sniffles turn to sobs and you start feeling guilty. you push your discomfort away and let yourself get pulled into his warmth.

· “no, it's fine. just don’t, you know, cry please.” you press your lips into a thin line and sigh as peter stops sniffling and hums in content.

· he’ll guilt you into doing what he wants with tears and sobs about how he misses “the old you”

· funny, considering the fact that this mf basically made up his entire relationship with you because he’s literally psychotic

· your relationship would be seemingly normal too, except that all of the friends that talked about how they’ve never met peter before your accident went missing…huh, definitely no connection there…

· but by the time they inform you of their concern, it is already months after your accident and peter would have already made you believe that you were dating

· in peter’s mind, you’re everything and more than he imagined, even though you barely know him, he knows you so well that it’s easy for him to make you believe that you’re together.

· peter would tell he’s spiderman once you’ve stopped resisting him to make sure that you won’t search up your accident and see that spiderman was involved

· the only way for you to break from peter’s grip on your mind is for him to accidently confess that he’s lied to you

· and that’ll happen, peter may be good at lying, but during a fight, he might let it slip

· “I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO THEM.”

· “they’re my friends, peter. you can’t stop me from seeing them.” you roll your eyes when peter’s face crumples. “ugh, peter, stop with the guilt-tripping. your fake tears don’t work on me anymore.”

· peter’s face turns cold, “your friends are liars and they’ve been trying to break us up since the accident. all they say when they see me are lies.”

· you keep a straight face, “well, i know it’s a lie, so you don’t have to act like this.”

· “but-but what if you start believing them? what if you realize that you can do better than me? what if you remember everything? what if they make you break up with me? wh-” peter turns to you and sees you frozen in place. he moves towards you and pulls you into a hug, but you stay stiff.

· “what do you mean “remember”?” you whisper and peter’s eyes go wide. silence fills the room as peter says still.

· “well, shit”

-

[shrunkupthejams]

hello tumblr, good timezone! a little life update (which was written at 2am? and gets very rambly and long but *shrugs* i tried to break up the walls of text a bit):

1. did i disappear? yes. will i elaborate on that? not really, i don't feel like it. but i will say that once you take a break from social media it is really hard to go back. it's very freeing, and that made me worried about how tumblr would take over the little free time i have if i came back. also hyperfixations are a lot harder to not hyperfixate on when i frequently spend time on here. overall, idk how long i was gone for, but it was a very good, much needed break that was probably great for my brain.

2. idk if i'm back back yet. we shall see. again productivity is doing much better without any tumblr in my system, as much as i do love spending time here.

3. i have read some very inspiring fics lately and am having many writing thoughts! which is great bc i really fell into a slump that i haven't been able to get out of this year like... back in may, or whatever. unfortunately, i have no time between catching up on missing school work from being sick, my job, and fucking moving. so.

4. not very tumblr relevant, but oh my god im fucking moving. again. story of my life basically. it's. fine. just happened really fast and it's weird to process. im officially in moving limbo for the next two weeks. and that sucks. but it's ultimately good for my system, i think, because i was getting restless waiting for the usual regularly scheduled "big change" in my life, and that quota is now being filled and it's relieving.

5. dear lord i don't even want to look in my notifications.. if anyone tagged me in stuff while i was out... im so sorry but it's likely lost in the pile. avoiding my problems on social media is like my specialty, and my notes is currently one of those problems.

6. (if you see me unfollow a bunch of stranger things blogs (hello, i know some of those are mutuals), im sorry but i clogged my dash with st blogs so bad and i cannot afford slipping into that hyperfixation rn. i can't do that to myself. it's not personal or anything. so um. don't mind me haha.. i should really consider the state of my dash before i follow... but alas, i do not. one of the main reasons i typically avoid the hellscape that is instagram! oh and tbh, i knew it was time to come back to this hellsite when i started casually wasting like. an actual amount of time on instagram semi-regularly. that's when yk it's time to go like fuck i do not want to be in a place where i am wasting time on instagram of all places. wasting time on tumblr is at least tasteful. sorry artists of instagram ily but i simply cannot.)

7. ahaha watch me avoid my sideblogs after this (not that's incredibly relevant). i can only involve myself in social media so much rn...

8. more irl news: after, at least of 2022 and then some of saying i need therapy, i'm finally getting therapy! first appointment booked for this wednesday babey :) thank GOD. definitely needed this after discovering that apparently you can have grandfather issues, as if my current parental issues weren't enough.

9. another irrelevant irl update: i got my license! fucking finally! idk if i ever complained about that on here but YEAH. it feels like so much has changed since i was last active on tumblr..

10. as a final bit of news, since this got fucking long im so sorry, im trying out the name kurtis now. seeing how that fits :)

and um yeah that's how my life is going rn. ill try not to go off in the tags about anything, considering the length of this post. sure makes that relatively new dashboard post shortening feature come in handy tho! haha..

[luahecate]

When I asked you guys to ask me Amphibia questions a lot of you asked how I felt about Season 3A.  Now that the season is over I decided to just talk about it since yall seemed interested in what I think. First off, do I like season 3A? Yes???? I mean it has...a couple of problems.. The problem is we went from season 2 finale, true colors, to funny frog people in the human world, and it just feels so weird? We literally went from Marcy being  KILLED and then we just went into new normal? The transition just feels weird and I wish we had gotten some sort of talking about true colors. We got two mentions of it, where Anne says Marcy has to be alive, and where Anne says she has to make up with Marcy and Sasha, but thats IT. Ive stated before its okay for Anne to not talk about it, ITS IN CHARACER. But Sprig? no?? I get it if Sprig is being a good friend and not asking, but you would think he would mention something? In season 2 he brings up Sasha a lot, hes KNOWN for bringing up things!! Heck even if he wasn’t bringing up Marcy, he hasn’t mentioned Sasha. ALSO, theres the whole fact that Marcy literally saved Sprig and I haven’t seen anyone in the show talking about that. Another issue I have is the FBI, the Wu’s, and the Waybright’s. The FBI is investigating the frogs, which makes sense they should be, but you would think the FBI would be like “Oh wait- this girl just showed up and her friends aren’t with her what did she do to them” BUT NO. Seriously!! I dont wish any harm another Anne or stress its just why isnt see being investigated for murder or kidnapping. Its also weird that the Wu’s and Waybright’s haven’t shown up. Lets say the Wu’s moved away already, which okay makes sense your daughter was gone for 5 months she may be dead so lets move on. BUT THE WAYBRIGHTS?? im not sure if this is all leading up to showing how bad Marcy’s and Sasha’s homes are, maybe they haven’t contacted the Bounchoys because maybe there too busy in work or something? It doesnt make sense still though, like wouldn’t those kids from the school paper start asking questions about Marcy and Sasha? Okay now onto the good stuff: The new characters are so much fun!! God they just bring me so much joy. Im honestly happy that were getting more nerdy characters (to replace that gap in my heart of loosing Marcy-) Right now my favorite human character is Mrs.bounchoy like honestly who gave her the right to be so great. Anne’s parents are so funny and awesome and support Anne. I like Mr.X hes funny and a new interesting villain (although Idk how hes gonna be wrapped up since Darcy and Andrias are our villains) I just love em all. Okay now we can talk about the Darcy in the room.

I.LOVE.DARCY. lets talk about Olivia and Yunan for now. That episode is by far the best episode in season 3A. Its what we all expected season 3 to be. Its the episode that makes sense coming from true colors. Im not even mad Marcy only got 1 episode (I mean she had to heal for a bit that sword like destroyed her body-). This episode is so distributing while also being really funny at the same time?

Drunk Marcy is literally so funny, shes just vibing the entire time and the whole “ohhh its a projection you know like *finger snap* VR!” “vrrrrr???” “its not real ya goof!!” always gets me BUT THEN. Marcy’s fear is one of the best scenes in Amphibia by far, it is so good and fully shows Marcy’s guilt. It sets up so much for the rest of season 3B and its great. Ill do a separate analysis eventually. AND THAT LAST SCENE. it is so scary and upsetting. Its worst than true colors because Marcy is screaming and very clearly in pain. We know things aren’t gonna go well for her in the future sadly because of this one scene.  Overall do I like season 3? Yes. But do I have some issues with it? Yes Did these issues ruin my experience? No. Season 3A is great and im excited for Season 3B but it better fix these issues-

[jack-is-lost]

BOY OH BOY AM GLAD YOU ASKED FOR HEADCANONS AND IMAGINES I GOT A WHOLE BUNCH OF EM *digs around in bag* HERE LOOK:

david's a horse girl and used to sneak out and ride grandpa emerson's horses

i have a headcanon that he was also a cowboy before he got turned so he actually knows how to get away with it

marko really likes video games and has stolen a bunch of arcade machines over the years

paul had the idea of stealing a chandelier from some stupid country club up north and bringing it to the cave

dwayne likes to swing from it and has also flung himself face-first into the opposite wall many times because of this

star is the one with the braincell like 50% of the time (david gets it the rest of the time) but as soon as she sees some harmless dumbfuckery she's all aboard

like for instance: star will see marko trying to paint a bunch of dicks on the ceiling of the hotel lobby and she'll be like "bitch why" and he'll be like "man idk" and then she'll grab the fuckin ladder and be like "move over shorty im painting tasteful nudes"

laddie just likes to collect bugs and other critters

and then put them in extremely weird places

grasshoppers in your jacket pockets? laddie

praying mantis in your leftovers? laddie

frog in your saddlebags? laddie

snake in your boot? laddie

iguana in the fountain? laddie

massive fuckoff spider in the bathtub? laddie

a whole-ass sea lion in your bed? laddie

michael just does normal teenager shit like accidentally hoard garbage and not move for seven hours a day

him and david also make out an obnoxious amount but that's a combined offense so it technically doesn't count

it is hella funny when they get interrupted while they're in really precarious spot tho

like they'll be making out upside-down and then paul or dwayne will just show up outta nowhere and be like "hey"

one of them ALWAYS falls

paul and marko are definitely both the "hey we're out of—stop screaming it's only me—we're out of milk" friends

david likes to serenade michael with never tear us apart by inxs

it's cute, but it can be REALLY inconvenient at times

michael: ow

david, his head doing a complete 180: WE COULD LIVE

michael: oh no

david: FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

michael: oh my god

david: BUT IF I HURT YOU

michael: YOU DIDN'T EVEN—

david: I'D MAKE WINE

michael: DAVID—

david: FROM YOUR TEARS

michael: DAVID IT'S JUST A BRUISE—

marko and paul cut off david's mullet while he was napping and he was so mad he got dwayne to ground them

david may be the leader, but dwayne is the mom

he's also the physically oldest, because even though david was the first turned by max, dwayne was 21 when he was turned, while david was 19.

paul and marko were both 18 when they were turned, making them tied for youngest.

david likes pop music but hell will freeze over before he admits it to the other boys

david: babe i need to tell you something

michael: sure, what's up?

david: promise you won't freak out, okay?

michael: …okay…?

david: i

david: i like pop music

michael:

michael: i mean i kinda figured since you hum "the edge of forever" all the time

david: i do what now

marko once found one of david's "secret" tapes and david almost had a heart attack

marko: yo david why is there a go-go's cassette by the boombox

david, sweating bullets: haha no idea hahahaaaaaaaa

this ask is kinda long so feel free to answer this privately, but i came up with these last year and put em in a google doc that i add to every now and then. i hope you enjoy these as much as i do!

Honestly, I've got nothing to add to this. It is all amazing and brought a smile to my face, sincerely. Especially them being little thieves in the night. A whole-ass arcade machine, really, Makro? I love that!

Plus, David and Michael having silly little interactions. That will always have a soft spot in my heart. I'm a sucker for it, dude, truly. Even if that means David is singing pop music — I might have choked on my soda while reading that.

Thank you for sharing these with me, dude! 💙🤣

[anxi-aashi]

one hit wonder

zuko x reader

words: 3.4k

warnings: cursing, blood (broken nose)

summary: an adventure into the fire nation capital with his friends turns more eventful than zuko expected

a/n: yes i am aware this is not the r&r one shot but i wanted to write something for yall and im pooped for ideas about that so,,,,,,,,,,,,, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh heres some more zuko content. also full disclaimer, ive never had a broken nose so idk how it actually goes but i didnt feel like researching it so if its not accurate........................... shhhhhhh again :) thank and enjoy

It was supposed to be a relaxing day. Zuko swears on Momo’s soul that he wanted it to be that way, too. 

He just… didn’t see them coming. And he means that in the most literal sense of the phrase.

It was rare now that Zuko got to see all his friends at once since everyone had their own responsibilities to take care of in different parts of the world, but after about a month of back and forth letters, everyone was able to carve out a week to get together in the Fire Nation.

Zuko’s council advisors didn’t get the memo, though.

The entire week, he had been frantically running in between meetings and trying to spend time with his friends as they had planned, but the amount of running he was having to do was stretching him thin. He was exhausted, physically and mentally, and eventually, his friends decided to do something about it. 

In Sokka’s exact words, Zuko “needed a break from stinky old men with opinions” for at least one full day, which would also give them all a chance to hang out. Zuko found himself caving and before he knew it, Aang was dragging him by the wrist around the capital, Sokka trotting behind Zuko to give him a push when he was moving too slow.

Zuko was careful to wear normal street clothes, forgoing his hairpiece as well in order to keep interactions with the public at a minimum. Today, Zuko was not the Fire Lord; just Zuko. And he intended to keep it that way. Even a few close calls regarding his scar left him ending the conversations with “No, his scar is on the other side, but I get that a lot,” and even one, “Fire Lord Zuko has a scar?” though the last one (rightly) earned him a weird look from the stranger. He walked away before they could think too much about it.

The boys had split from the girls about an hour into their excursion. Toph wanted to look for a specific item to bring back to the Earth Kingdom, but Sokka had kept whining about how starving he was, so the three set off to the vendors and restaurants to find food while the others venture off with Toph.

Which meant that every time someone Sokka deemed even remotely attractive, Zuko would get a poke in the back and a motion towards whatever random person Sokka had found next. 

At first, Zuko thought Sokka was pointing them out for himself, which he thought was weird, considering he was ninety-nine percent he and Suki were still together, but he didn’t say anything. But it was clear these random people were for Zuko’s benefit whenever Aang started agreeing with Sokka because Zuko knew Aang hadn’t looked at anyone romantically since he’d met Katara. And he knew this because Aang had told him himself.

Zuko had no clue why they decided to spend their time trying to set him up with someone, but no number of dismissive answers from him got them to stop, so he accepted defeat.

He didn’t want to say it, but their badgering was a little irritating. It was bad enough that he had all his advisors breathing down his neck about his marriage predicament-- the predicament being that he didn’t have anyone to marry-- Zuko thought that he was going to be able to get away from all of that when he was with his friends, but it seemed they were just as obsessed as the “stinky old men with opinions” that Sokka has so easily made fun of earlier.

His advisors seemed to have it in their head that just because he hadn’t dated anyone since his break up with Mai, that meant that he was never going to again and that he would spend the rest of his reign spouseless, depressed, and with no heir. Time was ticking for them, and every day he didn’t explore his options was another day older and another day closer to death. 

He would date eventually… probably. He just hadn’t met anyone who he liked like that-- certainly not enough to spend the rest of his life with. And he wasn’t interested in anyone they most likely had up their sleeve, either.

And he knew they thought it was because of his breakup with Mai. He knew they avoided her name because they thought it would bring him pain or whatever, but he was fine and he didn’t know how many times he was going to have to say that. The break-up was mutual for Shaw’s sake-- neither of them were feeling the relationship anymore so they called it off. End of story. Mai was even seeing Ty Lee, and despite their contrasting personalities Zuko had to be honest-- they were oddly perfect for each other. 

He just didn’t know how many times he was going to have to explain to the same people that he had more important political matters to worry about than marriage.

But today was his off day. So, for now, all Zuko could do was listen to Sokka point at some random person whose hair was apparently nice and try to refrain from strangling the two of them whenever Aang enthusiastically backed Sokka up.

They were standing in line to get the aforementioned person a bowl of fireflakes when Zuko overheard a conversation behind him.

“... doing. Sometimes I wish I could just go to the palace and see what Fire Lord Zuko really does up there, you know? ‘Cause it’s definitely not ‘run a nation.’ Probably just sits around throwing treats to his pet lizard while the council does all the work.”

Now, it had taken a bit, but Zuko had learned to control his temper over the years. It was a skill he learned from his friends and most of all, his uncle, and he prided himself on this improvement very much. But he had had a rough week, and sometimes, there were people that just pissed him off too much to care about self-control.

Zuko worked his ass off for his country; so much that it almost ran him into the ground most of the time. His advisors were just that-- advisors. And Zuko knew that there were obviously some people in the Fire Nation that still didn’t like him, but he would be lying if he said hearing some asshole shit talk his work ethic didn’t make his temper flare a bit.

“I thought the Fire Lord had a dragon?”

“Dragon, lizard-- same thing. Don’t know why he hasn’t just killed it like the rest of his family. Do you know how many chickens I have to deliver to the palace every day for that thing? I’m gonna have major back issues when I’m older.”

Zuko’s shoulders tensed and he forced himself to take a calming breath even though he could feel his blood start to boil. He didn’t even try to conceal his glare as he turned around to glance at the mouth-breathers. He began to hope they would see him, or even better-- say something worse and give him an excuse to jump in.

Zuko faintly heard Sokka say something like “Hey man, you alright?” to his right, but the question was shuffled to the back of his mind as he stared down the guy that apparently had an issue with him and his dragon.

“Maybe he’s waiting for it to get bigger so it’ll be more impressive of a kill,” the burlier one suggested to his shrimper friend.

The shrimpy one, and Zuko’s number one hate-mail sender, apparently, scoffed. “What, like he’s ‘waiting’ for someone to come along for him to marry? Yeah right. Probably still pouting that knife girl left him. Honestly don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to be associated with such a half-assed world leader either. Agni, he’s even worse than the Earth King that didn’t even know about the hundred-year war.”

Zuko liked to think that he could’ve eventually calmed himself down and walked away. But the moment he brought Mai into the slander, all hope for that was gone. 

Zuko whipped around and barked out an aggressive “Hey,” before swinging his fist directly at Shrimpy’s face.

However, Shrimpy’s reflexes were better than Zuko anticipated. He quickly swerved out of the way, his friend doing the same out of instinct despite not being Zuko’s target, leaving Zuko’s momentum to carry him past the now-empty space where Shrimpy had been and directly into you, who had been standing behind him.

Zuko registered too late what had happened and without being able to stop himself, landed a solid punch to your nose.

 A sickening crack sounded from your nose, followed by a grunt of pain from you, and the scuffling of feet on stone and you stumbled back in shock, hands flying up to your nose.

“Fuck!” you exclaimed at the same time Zuko hissed out a “Shit,” both in regards to the situation and the pain now prickling in his knuckles.

“I’m so sorry!” he fumbled out, all traces of anger leaving his body just as quickly as Shrimpy and Burly had left the scene of his crime. “I’m so fucking sorry. I did not mean to punch you, that was meant for someone else.” He could feel Sokka and Aang gaping at his back, but he kept his eyes on you-- who he now noticed was wearing a restaurant uniform of some sort-- the person he’d just punched in the face. They would get their answers later.

A short, weak laugh left your lips, but Zuko couldn’t tell if it was weak from pain or because you were trying to hide the fact that you were actually really, really pissed. 

“Do you try to punch every stranger you meet?” you huffed out, tilting your head to look Zuko in the eye while still delicately pinching the bridge of your nose with one hand.

Zuko was coherent enough to register that you were really cute, but that thought was immediately interrupted by a waterfall of blood pouring out of your nose and splattering onto the pavement. 

An alarmed squeak left your mouth and Zuko rushed in front of you to shove his hand under your jaw and tilt your head back. Blood trailed down your mouth and chin, and you winced at the sharp taste of it as some got in your mouth. 

Zuko kept his hand on your jaw, bringing the other one up to cradle the back of your head as he walked you over to sit on the lip of a nearby fountain. “Keep your head tilted back like that-- don’t move,” he instructed while slowly removing his hands from you. “I’m gonna get some supplies really quick.”

You directed a thumbs-up at him with your unoccupied hand so as to not move your head and sat quietly, focusing on breathing through your mouth so you wouldn’t sniffle up blood on accident. Something itched in the back of your mind from when you glimpsed at your attacker, but the pain throbbing from your nose prevented you from thinking too much about it.

Zuko returned after a few minutes with some cloth, a bowl with water in it, and a pool of guilt in his stomach. Sokka and Aang trailed after him and stood awkwardly to the side as Zuko set down his supplies and began dipping some cloth into the water. 

You glanced over to the side while Zuko busied himself to look at Sokka and Aang while they stood there, earning a sheepish grin and wave from both in unison. From what you could tell, since you were still mostly looking at them out of the corner of your eye, one of them had something blue on his forehead with orange robes on, the other dressed in a Water Tribe outfit that looked to accommodate for the weather of the Fire Nation instead of the Poles. You briefly wondered for a second if you had acquired a concussion along with a broken nose, or if the Avatar was really watching you try to not choke on your own blood until a cool sensation on your neck brought your attention back forward.

Zuko gently dragged the wet cloth up your throat, acutely aware of the lingering presence of his friends and the awkward tension that built while he caught a trail of blood that had escaped past your chin, before suddenly pausing in the middle of his movements.

“What,” you cautiously asked, eyes automatically flitting down to look at the top of the mop of dark brown hair that you could see.

Zuko looked up at you even though you couldn’t see his face with the angle your head was tilted at. “Nothing,” he rushed out, moving to hastily wipe the blood off your mouth and chin. “I just realized I could’ve used the fountain water instead of wasting time looking for a bowl. Sorry.”

You choked on an astonished laugh and leaned away from him as much as you could. “Please don’t clean my wound with water that people have most certainly peed in,” you begged, hoping that he hadn’t actually just gotten a bowl and stuck it in the fountain.

This confused Zuko, so he stood up, making it possible to lean over you and look you in the eye when he asked you his question. 

“People pee in the fountain?” he inquired, surprisingly genuine. His head blocked out the sun for you, his eyebrow sloped up in concern so adorably that you had to physically stop yourself from staring, or worse, smiling. Instead, you took the moment to calculate-- and appreciate-- how handsome he actually was. Not that this changed the fact that he’d decked you in the nose, but it was worth noting at least a little bit. The scar that covered the majority of the right side of his face in an eerily similar fashion to the Fire Lord’s was also extremely worth noting. The itch in the back of your head vanished as you realized the possibility of who you could be talking to.

Your eyes briefly flitted up to his hair to check for the Fire Lord’s distinctive gold hairpiece and came up empty. So you quirked an eyebrow and challenged his remark. “What reality do you live in where people don’t pee in public fountains?”

A look somewhere in between horror and disgust dawned on his face as his eyes flicked to the fountain water in the pool behind you. He leaned back to stand up straight, recoiling at the image his mind conjured of someone openly peeing into the fountain completely naked and was about to respond to you when you suddenly snatched the cloth out of his hand.

He thought he heard you grumble something along the lines of “Mother of ozai, if you won’t do it, I will,” while gingerly resting the cloth against your nostrils to stem the flow of blood, but before he could do anything to make you not mad at him (or at least try), he was interrupted.

“Hey, what’s-- oh my Shu, what happened while we were gone?!” Katara exclaimed, signaling the return of her, Toph, and Suki from their excursion. 

Zuko whipped his head over to the girls and backed a couple steps away from you to catch Katara stalking over to where you sat on the fountain ledge, tending to your nose the best you could. 

“Uhhh... ” he attempted to explain, but Aang caved in the presence of his girlfriend and beat him to it.

“Zuko punched them in the face.”

Katara’s head snapped to look at Zuko accusingly over her shoulder from where she stood in front of you to examine your face. “What?!”

Zuko’s mouth flapped open and closed as he stammered to defend himself before Katara could get super mad at him. “Wha-- wait, it was an acc--”

“You punched some rando in the face in public? Damn, Sparky, gotta admit, didn’t think you had it in you,” Toph commented.

“It wasn’t--”

“Eh, it kinda was,” came Sokka.

Zuko fumed. “Are any of you going to let me finish? At any point?”

Sokka snickered slightly. “Sorry, it’s just too fun seeing you mad. It’s harder to piss you off these days.”

“Guys,” Katara interjected, still observing the interaction over her shoulder before turning back to you. “I don’t even know why I bothered asking,” she muttered, then kindly smiling down at you as you listened to the conversation, already having concluded from hearing your assailant’s name that you were, indeed, spontaneously punched in the face by the leader of your nation. “My name’s Katara,” she introduced.

You half-heartedly raised your hand that wasn’t busy holding the blood-soaked cloth in acknowledgment. “(Y/N).”

“Nice to meet you,” she returned. Katara then bent the water out of the bowl Zuko had brought you and covered her hands in it. “This may sting a bit.”

Katara got to work healing your nose and any other miscellaneous cuts that were formed as excess damage, and Zuko, finally freed of the bickering with his friends, took the opportunity to sit on the ledge next to you and observe you fully.

If Zuko had known someone as attractive as you had been living in the city all this time, he would’ve been visiting way earlier and way more often. You wore an apron with a restaurant name painted on it, so he assumed you worked somewhere nearby. Then with the realization that you were probably heading to work when he punched you settled over him and guilt pooled in his stomach again. He didn’t want you to get in trouble for being late or anything, seeing as the entire situation was his fault.

Zuko studied you and wracked his brain for possible ways to see you again, preferably while also not dooming his chance for a possible relationship with you any more than he already had. By the time Katara was finished with you, he had a few fragments of an idea put together.

You were feeling around your nose, easing the residual pain of having it set after Katara had fixed it. You still hadn’t looked over at him, even after Katara had left to talk to Sokka and Aang about what had happened, so Zuko decided to make his move.

He cleared his throat, catching your attention. “Um… I, uh, I’m really sorry. About.... punching… you.” Zuko winced as he finished his apology. 

You raised an eyebrow at him and opened your mouth to say something.

Zuko sensed that this was going to be a bad thing and quickly beat you to the punch (pun not intended). “I, uh, I’m sorry if I made you late to work or anything,” he began, gesturing to your apron. “I can go talk to your boss or something and explain the situation so you don’t get in trouble.”

You stared at him. The thing was, you had been planning on holding your grudge for quite a bit longer, but having the Fire Lord vouch for your lateness would definitely save your ass from getting fired. And the utter guilt that molded his face into the puppy eyes you were faced with now was making it very hard to stay mad at him.

You sighed and dropped the stern façade you’d been keeping up. “That would be nice, thanks.”

Zuko nodded enthusiastically. “No problem,” he reassured. “And um,” he started, growing bashful again, “If you want to, of course, you don’t have to say yes, but if you’d let me, I’dliketotakeyouonadatetomakeituptoyou.”

By some miracle, you were still able to catch what he said. “You want to take me on a date?”

“Like I said, you don’t have to say yes--”

“Okay.”

Zuko paused. “Okay, like ‘Okay, I’m not saying yes,’ or--”

“No, okay, as in I’ll go on a date with you,” you interjected, rolling your eyes. “If you mess it up, though, I get to punch you back. It’s only fair.” you proposed.

Zuko, thankfully, was able to detect the slight hint of playfulness in your tone and laughed quietly. “Deal.”

You nodded, a smile beginning to creep up on your face, and call him naïve, but Zuko got the smallest feeling that his advisors wouldn’t have to worry about his love life for much longer.

~i didnt capitalize ozais name on purpose. he doesnt deserve a capitalized name.

~taglists~ (let me know if you would like to be added or taken off!)

zuko

@sorrythatspussynal @firelady-jay @dixie-chick @akiris @lucas-kun @kaylove12 @duh-dobrik @irohs-teapot

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out