#theres like no horror in this part or like any real mentions of it but. gotta contrast the normalcy to the big climax right?

[rencatuive]

i thought itd be fun to document my reactions to the prologue on notes so this is just a copypaste of that. dont expect anything detailed at all mostly just 'ooh this character is cute' and. itll be that for all of them cause i dont dislike any characters at all:

[Student X]

airi feels extremely traumatised already

god bless student 4 is so real

ah shit student 6 intro is so cool with the student 1 connections

student 9 has good vibes i like em

STUDENT 11 <3 [manami]

i feel like student 12 is the type of character to have an *interesting* fanbase /neu

TAMBA THATS THE ONE I LIKED shes sweet omg

[Interviews]

isono is so cute i love the butterfly vibes. also i like the more mysterious vibe change near the end, its intruiging! i see her as the type to put on a strong/overly positive façade but i guess thats a pretty surface level observation

uh oh i think im just gonna call all these characters cute. harada is very cute. i love animal likers. not much more to say

(sidenote, it kinda sucks being willingly spoiled on a media youre not into. and then you decide to get into it, and you recognise these things you know play a part in the story. totally my fault lol)

chiba has the biggest 'probably have gone through the Horrors' energy to me just cause like. child star. she really intrigues me personality wise though. (oh maybe she is 17 ?? theres a lot of mystery here already which i like - she has a doctor too) fun!

ooh i was looking at designs and i liked kamimura too a lot. (side note is the interviewer straight up The Mastermind that would be neat i think) I like his voice a lot btw!! i like the energy

hayashi is so cool omg thats it . genuinely its nice to someone actually this defiant like Yeah fuck em up

oh wada is the guy whos i guess a fan of isono! probably too much of a fan! wonder about their interactions for sure... hes actually really cute. also this interviews getting deep.

sasaki is so cutr omg my type is glasses. the studious archetype is really cool and... dies early a lot of the time?? so uh good luck !!

aww childrens book illustrator <3 i really like ojima he seems nice!!

oh yeah okazaki had a cool asf design. ive. heard like One spoilery comment about her but its okay no i didnt. i really likw the intonation of 'im an open book'. (also i like how most of this cast have "no phobias" which i guess could be true?? but yeah no im not spilling that either) i like her vibes a lot rn though :D

demonologist?????? okay dude. this guy is interesting! /pos

oh oh im gonna like tsuno a Lot. and could i assume a lot more than other people? just based off how energetic she is. she has a lil fang :D hope shes not dead

i really like the vocal perforamance in hiroakis one btw. oh wait dude people ship hirojima. thats The ship in this fandom right. i love his energy btw. he dgaf (until the character development hits) also i assume youre not meant to see that little strip of glasses shading as eyes but i totally do and it makes him 100x goofier i love it

Tamba is the character I put as my favourite pre-reaction so i remember her [Student X]. loving the contrast of attitudes between them(understandably) and i do actually like her a lot here!!!! tamba nation!!!!

theres a few shyboys in this cast and i think at least one of them has to be evil or generally has a personality change or something. right? But right now theyre all cuties <3 including hasagawa

firedancer is a cool talent. lotta cool talents in this one actually. she also has fangs yippee!! watari having an unconventional talent seems to be bringing her a lot of stress though, makes sense. love the vibes

fancy boy. i thought he and tamba could be related or something at first bc. omg light blonde hair!!!! if a character mentions another cjaracter in this ill assume theyre a ship. uhhhh sasanagi

okay so right now im a big Tsuno enjoyer shes a real cutie. still liking tamba a lot!! okazaki is my favourite design. as for the boys i like harada and hiroaki for totally different reasons. and i think i want to learn the most about chiba right now :D

the voice acting in this is great btw and im really looking forward to the rest!!

[teffiyx]

let's talk about mouthwashing!

spoilers for the game. duh.

trigger warning for abuse, SA, death.

i feel like we all know how complex the story telling for the game is yet theres still people that don't seem to get it entirely. i decided to ramble about that. im sure others have done it before me but let me ramble about my hyperfixation god damn it.

this is the first out of 3 posts so strap in. the 3rd one is a LONG one. second post | third post

before i start a few disclaimers: i am rather new to mouthwashing so i do not know EVERYTHING. im just talking about my own interpretation, if there's any missing details pls inform me!

Anya is a shy and timid character!

this of course is not true but i've noticed a few people that still cling onto this interpretation of her. even though its not a vocal group that has this idea, i'd like to talk more about this.

Jimmy is an unreliable narrator, we were given that knowledge with a scene where we see multiple working cryo pods post-crash, despite us knowing there is only one functioning cryo pod.

so of course, knowing that information, most people would start to realise everything we went through as Jimmy post-crash, it was all biased, we were in the eyes of an abuser, and we trusted the words he used to describe Anya as part of her character. that's also part of the horror for this game in my opinion. the horror that i agreed the views of an abuser horrifies me.

"He - It just hurts him so much. I can't stand the noise."

"...You did make it through nursing school, right?"

"Pony Express sure does know how to cut corners, if nothing else."

-

"I was hoping you could help me with Captain-"

"Curly."

"Right, sorry ...w-with Curly's medication?"

"People have to be worth their titles."

"Don't you think, nurse Anya?"

"...Y-yeah. Forget I asked."

these two different conversations happened in the same scene at the start of the game. after going through the game we can see now how Jimmy talks to Anya is downright insulting. maybe some people have picked up on it during their first playthrough that the way he talks to her is not normal, but we didn't think much of it. but now, now things are different.

"Anya never got into medical school because she's... well, let's be real."

"And how many employment years Swansea got left in him?"

"Daisuke will be fine, mommy and daddy have him covered. So there's that at least."

"But you."

"Headed for bigger and better, right?"

this string of dialogue came 6 days before the crash, when everyone is gathered for Curly's surprise party and Curly decided to drop the news that Pony Express is letting them all go. (this dialogue will be brought up again for something else.)

he was almost insulting everyone sitting at the table, yet in this string of dialogue, he completely disregards Anya. summing his point about her as "well, let's be real.". it shows how much he views her, which was practically nothing. but first-time playing, you didn't think much of it. because he also insulted everyone else.

to summarise this whole thing, Anya as a character is not shy or timid, it is simply how Jimmy views her. but even so, we probably will never know how Anya is truly like. because even when she mentions this won't be her worst moment, she is only remembered as a poor crew member that god abused and assaulted by another member, which is, her worst moment alive.

[dappersautismcreature]

i am mad at this tiktok trend of video essay recommendations, and not just because i have a very very intense special interest in video essays and youtube commentary. -___- guyssss, a video essay does not have to be scary or unsettling to be a GOOD video essay. all of yalls reccs are like, 20-something minute videos about "gadagoobies left toe: a creepypasta turned real" and tbh thats like, a sphere of video 'essay'. imma say it, and imma be a lil time-elitist here, but 20 minutes is a video, not a video essay. if youve chosen a topic, and said topic cannot fill more than like half an hour, consider me unimpressed in either your research skills or topic choice. not to mention, again, horror internet video essays are like fuckin, 1/10th of the video essays out there. show me breadtube video essays, movie video essays, whatever the hell Jenny Nicholson is doing, Ro Ramdin, Contrapoints??

do yall want me to show you my spreadsheet O___O ill show u my fuckin spreadsheet, theres so much more out there besides your half furry sprites talking about internet horror from 2011 for 23 minutes.

my reccs? literally anything by Ladyknightthebrave. she has very very in depth and emotional video essays about media, including a big focus on holocaust media as she is Jewish. her Jojo Rabbit/The Book Thief video makes me cry EVERY time, and i cry like ten times a year. ough, she has a video about Cowboy Bebop that focuses SO MUCH on the music! A video essay about a bad holocaust movie where she literally interviews holocaust expertsss! Her video on MASH made me go watch the whole thing, same with Stargate. and gods, her video about Fleabag blew me away. just pleeease go check ANY of her videos out.

Jenny Nicholson. you want random? she's got it. she has a video where she reviews every single Land of Time movie, and theres a LOT of those. She deep dives into the brony fandom. etc etc. i know she's popular but still, theres a reason for that.

Contrapoints. absolutely gorgeous video making about politics, self, etc. and she's queer as hell, amazing. I just can't describe the depth she puts into her videos.

FDSignifier. a huge part of breadtube (or leftist youtube) who makes a lottt of excellent video essays on black masculinity. Big, full videos, with a good perspective to see if you are a white viewer.

CJ the X just has a ton of excellent video essays as well. They are very intellectual.

Ro Ramdin, my gods, most of her videos are not what i would call video essays, but she tows the line. Emotional, funny, to the point, amazingly shot, and compassionate to the bone.

i probably have more but here's my point, branch out, dont put non-horror video essays down. we get it, you watch gore on liveleak and draw ur edgy fursona with scars all over them. (was that harsh? sorry, just uhhh please consider perspective and the culture of creepypasta/horror online being a cesspool of self harm via forcing ones self to watch upsetting things)

[t4tpumpkinduo]

No longer need to use anon hii ^_^ Okay, do you have specific heacanons about their species? Like how the work, if theres a culture behind it? They could share eachothers cultures.. And how different or similar is there relationship in Manburg vs Las Nevadas?

OMG HIII and yes i'm glad, i rlly appreciate yr qs :'[ tysm fr giving me the chance to yap abt these freaks its been YEARS. ok iwill start now

so first my hot take is cschlatt is a mixed king i think she's half sheep half goat. let me explain 🤚 do not interrupt me

well firstly, i just think it's kinda moe cuteness adorable and plays into his duality...i think her ma was a brown sheep, and his dad was a white goat and his hair ended up kinda swirled because of it. and up until revival brute forced white hair on her and made her confront stuff (and revival hair isn't dyeable to me), he'd dye it full brown regularly bcs his relationship w his dad was normal and healthy don't worry abt it don't worry stop asking questions. she's a clearly normal ram.

also uhhh. To support my claim, and this is meta knowledge, but i do think it's interesting tht even ccschlatt the guy will call his character a goat sometimes, does not disuade ppl who call him that in rp even though one of cschlatt's main character traits is the way he'll stand up for himself/hates being percived in a way he doesn't want, which means it mustn't be that srs to be called that in the first place, and also promotes rammie merch w goat emoji even though ram ones DO exists. 🤨 it's almost like he wants annoying microbloggers to dig into it too much. something to think about.

fr cq obvs he's a duckie primarily, some manner of patito but i also think he's part budgie and it fucked up his development in some way. idk, to me he has like. little claws he needs to file down which ducks do Not have, and he also just chirps which ducks do not do. his wings are yellow but if you fluff them up underneath you can see that it's a kinda dawny white, like they were SUPPOSED to grow more but just kinda stagnated, and that coloration is very common w budgies. not to mention those things are notoriously v small and weak and can die pretty easily so idk i'm sure that doesn't play into anything. mixed king who lost

for a culture thing i think uhhh. well i'm not sure if culture is the right word for what i'm going for but i'm not sure those things exist for me? i'm sure there's peoples, and i'm sure ancient avians have their own thing going on probably but most ppl are just some guy. like any guy who has an extra thing to upkeep. i do think cq cschlatt have some interesting seasoning to their hybridisms specifically however so:

ithink schlatt grew up in a v small town, w her and his family as the only Real hybrids which was also normal for him as a guy who takes being scrutinized and looked at differently very well. him niki n wilb were all besties, until wilb left to pursue his dreams of getting his dad to pay attention to him i mean getting his dad to pay attention to him i mean music. and then cniki and cschlatt had one of those weird toxic girl friendships breakups that fuck up their lives and leave them in resentment for years but they didn't know schlatt was a girl yet so it was extra weird for them. niki voice why are we having later to be thematically relevant tension you miserable asshole schlatt voice if you say anything else i'm gnna eat my own leg and you won't be able to stop me. so alas.

so he just didn't have that like...wider connection or interactions, and she ofc couldn't rely on her dad who probably ditched her and her sick ma when schlatts like. 13. so all the hybridism upkeep he knows, like upkeep and proper filing of his horns or polishing her hoovsies, come from his mama. horror sting. who dies not long after. wwell.

ithink cq also lacks a level of connection to wider bird hybrisisms bcs i don't think he ever had parents at all i think he just spawned. which is literally not uncommon in the mcyt world at all. but he had nobody to. teach him anything, so he just kinda lets his instincts guide him even tho tht doesn't work v well either.

ithink he was just a mildly feral street urchin type kid, yk stealing to eat that kinda thing and ended up being in and out juvie bcs of it at like. idk id say v young when he first got locked up, like 9 or smthng which is super insane but wht cn ydo.

(my other hc is tommy and cq know eachother frm juvie :] makes sense to me. cuz canonstyle ctommy is v fond of cq and cq of him before the smp even starts, and they make "jokes" abt peddling drugs together, right after cq talks abt being put on them in juvie, and is currently selling them to make money cuz he just got outta there. why do they both already know how to do this. guys who definitely made it insufferable in there)

and then on one of the times he gets away :] i think csam adopts him and loves him very much abt it even if cq more often than not pops in and out on account of the mc nature of the world. and cq definitely won't replay his kindness by accidently ruining his life. (REXHING AMD PUKGING.) but the guy is a creeper hybrid 👍 and not a bird. so he isn't really sure how to navigate that either and especially cuz cq is a shitty little shape shifter on top of it. smthing he is ALSO bad at and can't control v well or for v long w/o getting really fucked up from it. (guy who always loses) i never lose

scritches my head so yk general lack of upkeep type of guy. he doesn't know how to preen himself v well or v consistently, he doesn't get to his little claws fast enough so smtimes he just nips at them to stop from slashing someone's eye out by accident. but i do think he gets better at it eventually and nothing abt this fuckass evil server stops his progress either. guy who gets brutalized all the time to the point of severe scarring and nerve damage why am i on edge and hindered by scarring and nerve damage lolll 😅

anyways this got too edgy i'm cutting this off. the point is both these guys have probbles but what can you do in this bitch of a server. also the second question is so so good and swagiful and my response will be unspeakably long so i'm gnna resend that part to myself and answer it there ^_____^ 👍 on it's own post. yes thank you.

[beardisable]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD okay.

so i watched the 8 hour jack stream(jesus) aka watched genloss top to bottom again and listened to his theories and stuff(i really vibe with the "kidnapped as kids" angle more now) and started thinking about some theories he and chat mentioned and.

now im thinking with like. ok its probably a pretty common theory, this post was what prompted this additional idea of mine actually, but ill explain it a bit: the theory that, since sneeg and charlie can come back over and over again, and they have referenced like, refusing to do the cooking challenge in ep 1, and how charlie was playing the mouse trap but ate the cage, they have obviously done the same kind of scenes we saw ranboo do, right. and then in the Announcement video we see the same kind of "missing poster" type headshots of them, with the caption "Found them!"

i dont remember exactly where it was confirmed that showfall made the missing person posters, but like. yeah. these images are for missing posters like ranboo had. and with sneeg being caught by the security in ep 3, he had tried to escape, just like ranboo and charlie. and i feel like this wasnt the first or last time they have tried this!

also, during that screenshot the announcer says "our hero will meet a cast of crazy characters, who you may recognize", aka the audience has seen these "actors" before in other things! this is their first live show but what have they made before...?

then, with one of the Very first lines Ranboo says in the first episode, "it wasn't supposed to be like this"... showfall/hetch made it seem like this is ranboos first show and he's being tested for how well he does as The Hero.

I dont think what we saw is Ranboos first time starring in a showfall production.

its the first live thing like the announcement video said but i think hetch lied when he talked about how its a test, i think Ranboo's been here at least a few go arounds, if not tens/hundreds/thousands of times. WHICH MEANS in the end when he gets his memories back... theres an infinite amount of possibility of things they could remember for what they have been made to do in the past :) Bc remember, while this is comedy->horror, it was still relatively tame and non-explicit (at least by my personal standards?) so it is quite possible they have been in more R rated horror stuff, slashers, gore, actual saw, some kind of even worse psychological horror things, but also that they might have had incredibly good experiences like love and joy and community and anything positive too, and to remember all that in a rush... oh boy so i believe it is a circular reproduction, maybe they run through scenes repeatedly over and over while perfecting every little detail and getting different takes of genuine emotion but every time Real and a First experience... some kind of purgatory(omg christian hell reference) or endless torture or such...

ok that got really maybe unneccessarily angsty so heres my other thought:

i love me a fucking colour theory and colour symbolism! it bothered me a bit how like. in the promo game we get ranboo, then green friend/the villain(obviously charlie, tho the villain part still confuses me a Bit since its not quite true?), the blue friend/the taken(obvs sneeg) and then the red stranger/the saviour. and like it would logically follow that the red is hetch right?

jack when theorising said the titles are self descriptive, which i buy into, at least for the first episode context, charlie is the villain role, sneeg was taken(put in a cage and later snatched by the sharkciclester), and hetch was trying to help and save ranboo from this situation! but then in the second ep we also have red puzzler, and red niki? i WISH niki had. any kind of bigger role to build a Saviour type off of her but i dont think she does :( the puzzler is an option, since they make it seem like the puzzler tries to save ranboo? and thats actually a whole other thought like. since we know hetch was not actually helping ranboo, was the puzzler Genuinely helping them, and somehow showfall found out and killed him?? idk ANYWAYS that colour coding falling apart a bit made me think about how ranboo is also red!! rgb trio yknow??

if the titles are self descriptive... well i dont think Ranboo really felt like The Hero much, especcially not in the end...

I think Ranboo is actually meant to be the Saviour.

Esp with the jesus coding! I believe this kind of thing has happened many times before, with sneeg/charlie/ranboo/others realizing that shits fucked, and trying to escape, only to be caught and put back in the production. I think Ranboo(main character syndrome) was in a previous iteration the Saviour, who tried to help sneeg and charlie and others get out of there, to save them, save everyone. but they failed. got captured. once again waking up again with a "it wasn't supposed to be like this..."

and so the cycle continues, and the content wheel keeps spinning.

(ive only been in tumblr tags so feel free to link me any other ppl who arrived at the same conclusion)

[catwyk]

ok i finished malevolent season 1 and i have a LOT of thoughts that im gonna write down becausr im bored. spoilers for season 1 and warning for me being a picky listener !

first off. HARLAN GUTHRIE THE MAN THAT YOU ARE. insane that this guy is doing ALL the voices?? AND all the writing??? AND all the editing and sound design????? WHAT the fuck. honestly the fact that hes (almost) the only guy working on this podcast kind of negates all my gripes n nitpicks

i LOVE the arthur/john dynamic. it reminds me a lot of venom and eddie brock but its def distinct. and its great

i rlly appreciate the amount of guidance john gives arthur, i think more would be realistic but tedious so this is a good compromise

now. speaking of realism. my main gripe

(i feel like this is gonna be a very subjective take so yknow dont take it too seriously)

two main things kind of bother me: arthur recovers from major injuries SUPER QUICKLY, and in 12 episodes he has only eaten once. yknow that post where someone's talking about their immersion in period pieces being broken by the chicken breeds bein wrong? this is very much how i feel LMAO like ok theres a supernatural healing element (this too shall pass) fine yep good. but arthur should NOT have been up and walking and ROWING so soon after a month of coma. he loses a shitload of blood from his abdomen TWICE and sure he has major reactions but after that he just sort of. keeps going. and not to mention THIS GUY DOESNT EAT HOW IS HE HEALING!!!!! SIR!!! YOUR MACROMOLECULES SIR!!!!!

obviously if we were with him every single time he eats and for every second of his recovery it would absolutely drag so im not expecting him to be seeking out food every episode but this is another compromise issue that i feel like isnt as well balanced as john being arthur's seeing eye eldritch god

but again this is probably just a case of me being sensitive to certain parts of realism that other people arent so this is very much a nick picking complaint

as for the writing, i rly like the diegetic framing of the narration as john describing any given situation to arthur

however i think an unfortunate symptom of this is that sometimes the narration feels overly descriptive and eloquent in situations where it shouldnt be. like when theyre being attacked by the amphibious river creature, john says something like "stomach and ventral area", which was honestly. So unexpected it took me out of the scene entirely i was just like he would not fucking say that lol

another thing is sometimes the tension building does not work at all. the rising strings feel too cliché to have any real effect, and the way john speaks about horrors can get repetitive to the point where it just doesnt bother me. "fuck. arthur.... there's *something* in the water/in the room/hunting us". that kind of vagueness doesnt work well for me a least anyway, but when its happening every episode or more it really gets old

anyway that being said i think those are my only real complaints and i think theyre so subjective anyways so like do they even count

also im heartbroken im unable to stop myself looking up spoilers bc the john is the king on yellow reveal would have been so cool if i didnt know it was coming

and the fanart. is so fucking good

[tarot-by-e11e]

Hello! Thank you for the reading!! 

The first paragraph, “Anxiety over things you can’t control will do more harm than good, my dear. But that doesn’t mean you should shove your pain in a bottle and throw it into the ocean.” this is so me rn!!! 😭😭 

the feeling of, ‘i have to fix everything, or else im done for’ is what’s driving this anxiety crazy, as if theres a time limit and it’s running out 🥲ig thats also a part of the paranoia you’ve mentioned next. I’ve been extremely paranoic recently, i don’t know what triggered it, i’ve just been doubting everyone around me, sometimes i feel that it’s for no reason and these ppl may not mean any harm but, the feeling persists

And the advice! “What you pay attention to, is what you feed into your subconscious. So be mindful of the content you consume.”, im amazed on how you picked this up, because i am very very detail-oriented person, this advice just feels like the solution to most of my problems now 😭😭

Hm.. I wouldn’t say i’ve had ‘nigtmares’ because the ’bad dreams’ i have don’t usually scare me, but its bizarre on how i end up in situations in these dreams. I think maybe since its a dream, i dont take it seriously, however real life experiences as those would be unimaginably horror. (don’t wanna explain more cause it may be triggering?) 

“They hold clues to old wounds you didn’t know you had.” maybe the bizarreness makes sense, i will track it down now 😤

The rest of the messages really put me at ease, with how things are now, a happy fairy tale seems like a distant dream lol. But i’m glad i still could have a fairy tale of my own ✨

Once again, thank you!!

The reading, as usual, resonates deeply!! ❤️

Hi dear,

Thank you for taking the time to giving me such a thorough feedback ~

Hey, asking you to not beat yourself up makes it sound easy but it's not. So just be gentle with yourself when you're feeling paranoid.

I did pick up this nitpicky tendency of yours, makes sense why you're detail oriented ~

Yes dreams hold hidden messages, so try jotting them down the moment you wake up.

I'm really happy that you feel seen by this reading.

Just take things slow and take care always, okay?

[misterradio]

house of leaves has my mind blown at such random stuff. page 97 has a check mark in the corner.

[i'll add random other musings below]

notation 127 references a real book which is even on archive dot org..!!! and it says to check out a diagram But you need to log in to view the book. AAGHH!!

page 119 it is now time to be confused on how to read this 👍

nevermind the box is just all one long footnote. and the backwards box is like a reversal of the previous box.

"this is what happens when you hurry in a maze. the faster you go, the worse you are entangled"..... UH OH !

the footnotes along the sides are just BUILDING NAMES?? and then ARCHITECTS ??????? i do really like the cyclical nature of these notes, one makes u flip thru several pages and then you have to turn the book upside down and flip back thru the same pages. the last note in this series is right at the 2nd page in this sequence but along the side. makes me think of. a spiral ::-) makes me smile.

im just now realizing some of these notation marks are letters instead of numbers....X appears several times (that footnote is on page 107) but theres also like, LL (but if the first L was reversed)? and this one is F (page 122). not sure if there is a meaning here

page 127 guys this is scary

(page 151) "I was sorry to hear he disappeared. Do you know what happened to him?" HE WHAT?????

(page 620) okay i decided to read some more letters from (checks her name) Pelafina and. this is one is. ::-(

okay i finished her letters and wah........... sad. i wonder what was the one jewelry johnny kept from her.

(page 154) i already forgot what these different names were for ermmm lol. great hall and antechamber. i forgor

(page 159) the fact that the stairwell was around 13 miles long for Roberts' crew and then for Navdison its 100 feet.... LOLLLL F--K the explorers in particular

(page 192) YAY JED and wax !!! i never thought id be so so happy to see them again. yayyy. but now getting out is the next obstacle.. F--K OFF I CANT BELIEVE HOW SOONI SPOKE f--k this book

SICKENIINNNNGGGG!!!!!!!

(page 263) I LOVE THAT there are occasional emails from people after the 1st printing and someone says "what was all that crazy stuff in the introduction about guns and blood?" THATS WHAT IM SAYIINNGGGGG

(page 272) this makes me think that the stairwell is analogous to a throat..

(page 305) once again. witnessing the staircase lengthen and groan. makes me think it is literally swallowing navy.

(page 318) im so so glad wax survived YAY

(page 320) this made me get up and start pacing and smiling. like. this house wants navy so bad. SO BAD

(page 326) JOHNNY BECOMES SELF AWARE THAT HE A FICTIONAL CHARACTEr (scary)

btw i did find ouf the letters used in notations are actually symbols bc there is a photo of a graph of them on the inner cover. i dont actualy know how to look up what they are called at all tbh. theyre like. aircraft related.

(page 342) bruh this is new and scary. fhe house's shifting horror now extending beyond the imposible hallways but into the main house ...... what the......

(page 397) everyone in this book is so FREUDIAN !!!! like all the psychology is so fruedian i think.

(page 402) im so fascinated by these dream scenes i didnt expdct this book to really have a dream scene but there u go ^^__^^ im sad the promised third dream is missing......

OH YEAH BABY WE ACTUALLY HAVE A MINOTAUR PRESENT also in a dream scene. EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR A MINOTAUR PRESENCE

(page 406) this is some like. reverse tma thing. you know how in tma everyone who gives a statement to jon has nightmare of him. this is like what if jon did something to absolve everyone of their nightmares. huh. (also i havent gotten past this part i dont even know what navidson Does back in the house yet.........)

OH I JUST REALIZED THE SKETCHES IN APPENDIX II ARE JOHNNY'S. he mentioned doodling on any scraps of paper he had like mail and i was like heh. just like in the appendix. OH WAIT

i love that tgis chapter does NOT end in a period and ends with an open-ended sentence that segues into the next chapter. thats so neat ::-) idek if navy is still alive like wtf i dont know yet SHHH shhhh

(page 425) the dread this is imbuing in me. the floors tilting slightly wherever navy goes to guide him along. youre at the mercy of this house now..

(page 465) WHAT THE ? THIS BOOK IS WITHIN THISBBOOK? (navidson has a book titled house of leaves) WHAT?

(page 468) this desolation almost made me cry somehow . maybe logcially its not the worst thing thats happened in this book but the nothingness is crushing

this part makes u turn the book around a lot and i really did get a sense of dizziness while reading bc i realized i didnt know whether the text i was reading was really along the bottom of the page or what... also im still so tripped up that they mention this book by name, even say how many pages it has, and that 'maybe some of the pages are hard to read'. bro.

the song on page 479 is apparently "when johnny comes marching home" which i had to look up but thats where the tune of that song the ants go marching one by one comes from???? u learn something new every day.

i like that the footnote on page 488 is another of those aeronautic symbols (theres a chart of some of them on a collage in the back) and this one means "heavily injured, need a doctor"...............

(page 527) "and whenever she laughs the notes sing a call to Victory" STARTS BAWLING

okay i done YAYYYYYYYYY AAAUUUUUHHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHHHHHH i have yet to finish the appendices....

[caffstrink]

your points about omori are so real but i also think the story isnt even that good like the "twist"... like not only does it not really make sense logistically (puts on my cinemasins goggles for a minute) how did two small kids drag an older girl into the woods to hang her without getting noticed and also why even come to that conclusion instead of making it look like more of an accident in the original scene (takes off my cinemasins goggles sorry about that) but i felt like it was kind of cheapened when it wasnt her killing herself. like he still couldve blamed himself for that because he wasnt there for her and didnt notice the signs but its like no he accidentally pushed her down the stairs. (and then framed it as a suicide which Was indeed actually a bad thing to do so yeah man you should feel a little guilty) but that could just be me being an enjoyer of explorations of suicide and its aftermath in stories

Honestly the twist was the only praiseworthy thing i found in the game and even so it wasn't enough to redeem the whole journey to get there imo. I think my opinion happens to be the opposite of yours bc mari comitting suicide would've been too simple, too expected, whileas sunny accidentally causing her death is what explains the guilt that makes him repress his emotions/identity and choose to live in his imagination. Theres 2 main big issues i have with it though, and since you've given me the opportunity I'll rant about it.

If i remember right at the time of her death mari was 15 while sunny/basil were 11 or 12, so i don't think it would be far-fetched for the two to carry her body together, although hanging her from the tree would be difficult. As for no one noticing i think that's actually pretty normal as far as these cases go, you'd be surprised at how many murders happen in broad daylight in suburban areas where there's neighbors walking outside yet no one notices bc they're not looking at someone's backyard to see some guy burying a dead body (if you watch those murder documentaries you'd be surprised at how common these cases tend to be). Basil trying to frame it as suicide is honestly a very very stupid idea, but considering their age and the situation it does make sense since they were panicking and people have 0 braincells when they're panicking.

The main reason i liked this twist though, may be because of how i perceived the scene where we see mari's hanging body and how it had an eye open, i thought it implied mari could be still alive when they hung her, and the uncertainty of it is what wouldve plagued sunnys psyche for the following years. Idk that was what i thought at least, but i don't recall seeing anyone else point out mari possibly still being alive when she was hung, so it may be just me.

Now here's the rant part. The game subtly implies that sunny's parents knew it wasn't a suicide. And by subtly i mean in a HIDDEN ROOM YOU HAVE TO ACCESS THROUGH ALTERING VALUES IN THE GAME FILES instead of, i don't know, in the annoying dragged out black space horror segment? Anyway in that room you see a shadow of what looks to be Sunnys father chopping down the tree and he says "you're no son of mine" or something along those lines (its been a while so i forgot the exact quote). PLUS its kind of obvious maris body wouldve been taken to be analyzed and theyd for sure see the head trauma that caused her death, but since it was accidental and both sunny and basil were minors, it's likely they went unpunished and Sunny's parents covered up with the suicide story so the others wouldn't think of them as murderers.

Why the hell does the game never mention his parents except on the real world? Its shown they divorced after mari died, did sunny not really care about that? Why does his ugly pastel escapism fantasy not have any mention to them? Did he not feel guilty about the grief he caused his parents? WHY IS IT NOT MENTIONED IN THE GAME AND ONLY IN A HIDDEN ROOM

And the second thing is the reasons that caused the incident in first place, it felt like it couldve been explored much more than it was. Like ok i get it, sunny didnt actually want to play violin, his friends thought he did and he was too afraid to disappoint them when they bought him one. But the main thing he mentions he hates about it in his diary is that he needs to practice on saturdays and misses 1 hour of cartoon watching with his friends. Like man. Come on. Priorities i guess? There wasn't any pressure of someone moving away, or someone leaving for college, or anything like it that would explain why sunny needed that 1 hour of cartoon watching with everyone so badly that it emotionally distressed him to that level.

My second complaint is how Mari is treated like a pure saint through all of the game, which was kind of a missed opportunity to have shown that she also was flawed and not always the kind big sister he idealized her to be in his mind (it could've also been shown that the Saint Mari in his brain is due to his guilt, but no, apparently she was just was like that irl too), the only flaw mari had was that she was perfectionist about the piano recital and pressured sunny about it? Like come on man there could've been more here. We could've had accepting mari was a flawed human as a part of sunnys recovery so he can move on from itn but instead mari is just a perfect angel through all of the game who unfortunately was accidentally killed by her younger brother bc she got upset he broke his violin on purpose like any 15 year old would. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[quilna]

Currently obsessing over the persona series you know how it is and i was thinking up on my persona au for tgs and brainstorming some ideas while listening to music you also know how it is but then i remembered! Theres also ANOTHER person who is equally as insane as i when it comes to the persona games and also has their own persona au for tgs! Hello! I wish to hear your random headcanons and facts and just random bits and bobs on your au. Even stuff that is probably considered barely important or noticeable. Give me it all! Feed me knowledge to satisfy my brain! (Please)

Persona aus are just so fitting for jekyll and hyde! I'm honestly extremely surprised that theres not really any persona aus out there considering how well the series fits with the whole... well everything of the main themes of jekyll and hyde! Hiding parts of yourself and having them take personification and be uncovered whether you want to or not is mostly the two main themes of both persona and jekyll and hyde so why not mix them together?

Hello fellow Persona enjoyer!

First of all, YEAH! Persona aus go with Jekyll and Hyde just incredibly well for two completely different medias. Physical incarnations of all the inner feelings that you repress and don't admit to anyone, not even yourself? Having to face them and maybe even fight with them? They just work very well.

I've already said most of my ideas for the persona au and, unfortunately, I haven't come up with anything majorly new since then but I can think about smaller headcanons and stuff that I haven't considered before

Here's the past information I've given in case you haven't read any of it before:

And with that, onto headcanons

Major Plot Headcanons

Comic Occurances

The Persona au does follow a lot of the comic. Aside from Jekyll's experiment to split the human psyche having a different result, they're still dealing with mad science and society at large hating them, Moreau still comes chasing Frankenstein (But the situation ends without a fire because there's no Hyde around), and Jekyll still gets very stressed over the exhibition. But great news! Jekyll's mental state is now connected to a whole separate world so a poor mental state for Jekyll means a horrific and dangerous imbalance between worlds that could destroy both worlds as we know it rather than just an imbalance between his two forms!

Whoopsy. Let's hope he doesn't get back together with Lanyon, letting him become happy and creating the final crack in his mental state that could cause the end times themselves.

...Whoopsy

Hyde's Powers

As I've mentioned before, Hyde is a shapeshifter - his form as 'Hyde' isn't his original form but one he made up because he wanted to separate himself away from his identity as Jekyll as much as possible. Perhaps even from seeing Eli in the other world once and copying his appearance, not knowing what that form would come to mean to Rachel.

Hyde can shapeshift into any person, whether made-up or real. His clothes remain the same when he changes and his eyes are always yellow so he tragically can't mess around with Lanyon and the gang too much with his powers. However, he does use his powers to relentlessly mock people, turning into them and doing impressions. It can also be used in palaces - other shadows don't tend to be bright enough to be suspicious about the changed clothes so he can change into other cognitions to sneak into places.

He can't change into anything non-human - However, if the shadow ruling a palace views people in some different way (For example Rachel's palace cognitions tend to be a lot of cute, little, helpless, and very fragile animals), Hyde can turn into that form solely in the palace due to the owner's cognition of humans.

Lanyon and the Wild Card

Lanyon meanwhile is the least willing Wild Card in existence and probably the worst you can be at it.

He gets freaked out at the Velvet room and Igor and probably does his best to avoid needing to go there. He also probably sucks at talking to shadows to convince them to join his party. Overall, it takes a long time before he picks up more than one or two persona at once out of his sheer reluctance. If he wasn't forced into the other world every night, he probably wouldn't go at all.

Bonus points if I include the headcanon where people's personas can talk to them constantly because Lanyon would just be having the worst time in that case.

Rachel: I think it's very nice that we have our Personas to talk to, it's like we're never alone!

Lanyon, listening to about 10 voices bickering in his mind over whether or not to tell Jekyll his feelings: .............Yeah, sure thing Rachel.

Jekyll, with only one persona but that persona is Hyde: ................

Hyde in Jekyll's body

When Hyde ends up in Jekyll's body by accident, it goes about the same as the comic right now with Hyde causing mayhem. Jekyll is also in there for the ride and, while he's not having the best time, he also gets to be incredibly confused on top of this.

For fun, since the connection between the two of them is already very messed up by Jekyll's experiments, Hyde can possibly continue taking control of Jekyll's body when he pleases even after he's become a proper Persona and everyone who knows about it has to constantly try to stop him doing anything weird. After all they're still dealing with the comic-typical mad science hatred from society and, if anyone catches on to the other world (and especially how dangerous it is) or Hyde, they'll all be in a lot of trouble.

The moment Jekyll's eyes go yellow, about 10 people tackle him at once.

Navigators

Hyde gets to be the navigator first because he doesn't have a persona to fight with like everyone else - he's basically the Teddy of the group - but that will eventually get replaced with someone with a proper persona for it. I'm not sure who the navigator will be yet but perhaps Ito? Or maybe Jasper since he's very good at reading people and all? Unclear.

Minor Headcanons

Rachel has absolutely brought her sewing supplies to the other world to attempt to dress Hyde. If there wasn't such a time constraint to their visits, she would have succeeded.

Hyde's favourite place to visit is a palace in the other world that takes the form of a bar which can give you any drinks you could possibly dream of. He's been kicked out numerous times but keeps shapeshifting into new forms to get back in

Frankenstein is definitely bitter that Lanyon gets the super cool powers and not her. She probably got even more ticked off to find he actively avoids using them as much as possible. (Worst of all is when she finds out that he does his utmost best to avoid using any persona with the same arcana as her. That probably leads to an outright fight)

Most of the lodgers inventions probably work in the other world whether they work in the real world or not due to the cognitive nature of it. As long as the frightened society believes they would work, they do. Unfortunately, this usually means they're more on the dangerous, weaponry side than anything useful because that's how society sees them but, hey, at least the lodgers can have whatever cool weapons they want.

Speaking of the lodgers, they would absolutely swarm on the cognitive world to check out what it can and can't do, hauling inventions over to find out what they do in the space of another world. The main gang have to keep the other world a secret just to stop someone running off and getting themselves killed in the name of discovery

Rachel's cooking and baking definitely has a healing effect in the other world. If it wasn't for Jasper, the lodgers would be curious over why she can be seen hefting around tables-worth of pastries, cookies, and chicken legs around at near-midnight. (Lanyon, tragically, doesn't get such an excuse as he buys bulkloads of weapons and armour off lodgers in exchange for the weirdest things that he just seems to keep obtaining like multiple busts of Frankenstein (?) or piles and piles of birdcages (???) or plants literally nobody on earth has ever seen before (?!?!?!) The gossip mill is certainly churning.)

Arcanas

Arcanas aren't something I've considered in the past because I wasn't sure what determined each arcana for each person but they are a major part of Persona and, therefore, a fun thing to fill in for the au. Possibly less interesting from the perspective of someone reading this, hence why I've left it to the end but you did say you wanted all the little bits and bobs so...

Fool - Lanyon

Obviously, as the wildcard, Lanyon gets the Fool arcana. Looking into it some more on the Fandom wiki, "The Fool is often called a fool because of his lack of understanding of the world, yet that is also his greatest strength, as his actions are so radically different from others that it impacts the world in ways no one would imagine." I never thought about it before but it does fit Lanyon in other ways too as the character in TGS who is less involved in the mad science side of things. He's more of an outsider to the world that he is currently in and holds less understanding of it than the other lodgers but it also makes him more open to making different decisions.

Yes, this role could fit Jasper much better but I like Lanyon a lot and, therefore, I am gifting him Protagonist privileges and that means the Wild Card. Favouritism.

Magician - Hyde

Next arcana needs to be the Magician since they are generally the right hand man to the Fool. "Characters of the Magician Arcana are normally bright and ambitious yet arrogant. They lack purpose or a dream, which they normally find through the help of their friendship of the respective protagonist." in the Megami Tensei wiki which would probably fit Hyde. He's arrogant, ambitious but lacking purpose besides running around having fun.

Moreover, Magicians are "strong in magic and illusion." which is fitting for how I've made Hyde a shapeshifter. Given that he's Jekyll's shadow and Jekyll himself tends to hide himself and project whatever version of himself he thinks people want to see, an illusionist seems fitting indeed. (Also, Magicians apparently get an innate boost to fire magic and, uh *cough* Hyde's arson *cough*)

Lovers - Rachel

Next is Rachel who I think would fit the Lovers arcana? Though it might be more of a stretch. "The theme of the Lovers Arcana revolves around choice, but the concept normally leaves them in what is secretly a dilemma with no right choice. With the help of the protagonists, the characters take a step back and find a balance between both options, or outright change their perspective on the choices they need to make, reconsidering what truly needs to be sacrificed." Which I think would fit Rachel's dilemma with her brother Eli - needing to find a balance between smothering the people around her and dealing with the pain of her loss? She does, after all, voice in the comic that she always seems to end up going too far and driving people away, wanting to stop but being unable to because then she has to face "the hole" where Eli used to be again. A perspective that is outright changed in the comic by finding Ito, someone who genuinely wants to be fussed over.

Moreover "A commonality among individuals of the Lovers Arcana is their popularity, cheerfulness, and their emphasis on social interaction. Lovers characters are almost always the "popular" ones, if not, then they are the "spirited" ones." which seems to fit Rachel? She's certainly spirited.

Death - Frankenstein

Then, of course, Frankenstein is the Death arcana, no question. She's associated with death because of her experiments and all and Death arcanas' "lives have a strong focus on someone that they care for dearly, but are separated from due to some form of tragedy. They carry great guilt inside for this tragedy, despite carrying little to no responsibility for causing it. It's through the bond with the protagonist that they're able to forgive themselves and look to the future with hope." Which, yeah, Frankenstein and Elizabeth. Admittedly, Frankenstein is very much involved in causing Elizabeth's death but I feel like I need to make some stretches here. She has the guilt, she has the tragedy, and she has the death.

Hermit - Jasper

Jasper I think should be the Hermit arcana? "Hermit Arcana characters share the commonality of placing themselves in situations that hide them from the public eye. Hermit individuals hide away from others or act in more supportive roles rather than putting themselves in the spotlight." Jasper supports Jekyll in many ways but dislikes putting himself in the spotlight. Admittedly, I think Frankenstein's Creature could also be this arcana but I also don't think they would get involved at all in anything going on.

Empress - Ito

Ito I think would be the Empress arcana? "They are often stoic, but still present a high degree of care and concern towards others, and like queens, they are mature, elegant, often wealthy, and dangerous when challenged." Ito is stern but still caring towards others and I can imagine her being dangerous when she wants to be but I'll admit that I'm less sure on this one if anyone else has a more fitting suggestion.

"The Empress Arcana often find ways to break out of their strict authority by opening up to their personal, normal and emotional selves; organic traits that do not conform to their responsibilities, expectations and image." Which I could relate to her opening up to Rachel and wanting to do girly things with her?

Lucy could also fit the Empress arcana, being wealthy, mature, and dangerous. Heck, she's even called Queen Lucy. However, she doesn't seem to have any journey she needs to take about opening up to herself - she seems pretty comfortable as the person she is and she seems pretty able to open up without help.

Temperance - Jekyll

Then, of course, Jekyll. I'm going with Temperance for him but I'm sure there are other fitting arcanas. "Characters of the Temperance Arcana are often struggling to find a balance in their lives and in their hobbies, dealing with severe stress but putting great effort into hiding it. This imbalance and stress come from the absence of someone that they greatly cared for, usually through death." Hiding severe stress and balance, huh? The absence of someone they cared for which I'm arguing could be Lanyon and their relationship.

Sure, nobody died but it's an arcana about balancing one's life, it fits very well with Jekyll.

Social links

From there, arcana gets a bit more difficult because we have a lot of lodgers and I don't know who would and wouldn't be involved yet. Neither do we know a lot about them so there would need to be a few headcanons involved.

However, the tarots come from social links, from whoever has a bond with the Wild Card, that being Lanyon, so I suppose throughout the au, Lanyon would need to slowly befriend a bunch of people. Which would be interesting because I don't think Lanyon would want to befriend them. Another way that he is very reluctant to be a Wild Card.

I think with the whole mystery going on with the other world and such, Lanyon would be reluctantly forced to ask around in the society to try to figure out what is going on, accidentally forcing him to befriend people along the way and learn more about them and whoops, you're friends now.

Further than that?

There's a lot of gaps because my focus lies mostly on Lanyon, Hyde, and Rachel and I'm willing to hear other people's ideas if anyone has any! Palaces, party members, headcanons, personas, arcana, just anything anyone has ideas on. Persona has a lot of ideas that one needs to fill to the point where I'm learning that making an au for it is so expansive that it feels like a multiple person job.

Moreover, if you ever want to talk about your own persona au, anon, I would be very excited to hear it too!!! I would love to hear what other ideas people can come up with because there's a lot of room in a persona au for ideas! Just the question of who takes the role of the Wild Card opens up a ton of possibilities, not to mention which Persona games you want to take the most inspiration from!

Anyway, thank you for the chance to ramble, anon, this was fun! There's probably even more I could think of if left for a few days to stew but I don't want to leave this response too late

[tiredelirium]

D.14

This is the near halfway mark where this task of self journalling begins to feel like a chore. A selfmade target with a pointless trajectory. Still honestly surprised I’ve been able to keep this up so long.

A part of me knows nobody will ever read any of these entries. They’ll never be picked up by an algorithm thanks to my limited tags, or reblogged for any particular reason as theres no real meat behind each entry.

These words are, as I’ve tagged them, scattered thoughts written out loud, alongside a handful of meagre stories of my past. Maybe I’ll write something about my present sometime in one of these entries, but it’s an unlikely thing. My present isn’t very thought provoking, interesting, or available in any way.

Pretty soon I’ll be a third of my way through a life that I haven’t accomplished much in. There are things I want to do, of course, but a lack of drive and motivation to get to action has always been my biggest character flaw. I’ve mentioned before about this. They say disinterest is a big part of depression. But I don’t think it would be possible for me to have been depressed since I was 12. Maybe that is a possibility, and it was just something that came with puberty alongside anxiety and isolationist habits.

I want to write a book. I’ve made several attempts to start ones in the past, both fantastical and modern. Though I can never get past the first few pages. It always hits me after that point. The disinterest. The apathy. The lack of drive or motivation.

If we were ever taught as children how to motivate ourselves in life I must have missed that lesson.

I want to travel the world. I’ve been to places in the past, but very rarely of my own volition and choice. Family holidays to sunny climates, and school trips are truly the only ones. I’ve been to the far east of Europe, borderline Russia. I’ve been to New York. I’ve been to the Mediterranean, to little islands in the middle of seas. And i’ve travelled across a tiny fraction of the UK, namely England and Wales.

At one point I seriously considered, and briefly looked into, joining a crew and attempting a ship faring life. I was talked down from the idea by my parents. One whose father was a sailor and an arsehole, the other who didn’t want to lose contact with me for months on end with no idea if I would be safe or not. The second wasn’t overprotection, but just genuine concern. The seas are unforgiving after all, and I’d be a rookie before I was ever good enough.

I want to make a game. Not necessarily a video game though that would be a fun project and there’s lots of engines and facilities out there these days to try and make one. I’ve made a ton of homebrew dnd content for my own enjoyment, from specialised subclasses and unique items, to monsters and large scale settings. Currently, in my spare time, I’m working on a Horror based TTRPG setup. A kind of one and done game, that, unlike DND, wouldn’t be a module that could run for 50+ sessions.

It’s a fun project so far, but the disinterest will hit me eventually. Maybe I’ll get distracted with another project idea. Maybe I’ll simply hit a wall of non-creativeness, where ideas just don’t hit as good. Or maybe I’ll get frustrated and think the project is dumb and pointless.

I wish my mind wasn’t this way, but it’s not an easy thing to change a method of thinking. Especially when you don’t know where that thinking originated or why it still persists, even against the things you enjoy.

I’m greedy.

[bellaphomet3]

I’ve seen shit people criticizing him for making and attack helicopter joke “defending it and then eventually walking it back saying he ‘didn’t know it was transphobic.’” Meanwhile the public apology for making that joke from one of my childhood hero’s was one of the biggest drivers in pulling me out of the alt-right pipeline.

That’s not even mentioning the fact that he made the attack helicopter joke in response to seeing it a bunch on a survey he did, because he did a survey with options to fill in any gender and made casual jokes about answers that were clearly not serious without knowing the full context of them.

Seriously watch this clip knowing that he later apologized for not knowing that attack helicopter was a transphobic dog whistle and try to convince me he had malice towards the trans community https://youtu.be/tyufH9GAVe4?si=SMEQcMtH-d9DOrXf.

BUT WAIT, THERES MORE TRANSPHOBIC STUFF HE DID, LIKE A VIDEO FROM 2013 THAT DIDNT AGE WELL AND HE HAS COMMENTED ON SINCE SAYING IT ISNT GOOD IN RETROSPECT.

When 12 year old me first watched Matpat play through Doki Doki literature club I laughed off MatPat criticizing the main character for being a total piece of shit saying that they were all harmless fun, so when the big twist happened, it really affected me, and made me act as less of an asshole.

The final straw that broke me away from that the alt right pipeline was also thanks to Matpat. Because of watching Matpat, I was interested in science, and had trust in reputable scientific sources like the CDC or WHO. In addition watching Matpat led to me exploring out to other more explicitly science focused YouTube channels. Then, when Covid hit, I saw all the people I trusted for scientific fact disagreeing with all the people I trusted for political news, and I picked science.

And now I’m a trans lesbian socialist.

And that’s not even mentioning the fact that my dream career of being a scientist which I’m currently pursuing in college is also something I’m only interested because of watching him growing up.

And that’s not to mention the smaller stuff, the stuff that doesn’t have massive, clearly life changing effects on my life. Stuff like all throughout middle and high school being taught in school things I had already learned years before from Matpat, like punnet squares from the Mario galaxy theories, making those classes easier.

Stuff like introducing me to fnaf, which has been a massive part of my childhood, and bringing me to one of the queerest fandoms on the planet, which helped make me less bigoted before Covid, and figure out my true identity afterwards.

Stuff like how because of watching Matpat talk about/play fnaf and DDLC when I was young, I became a fan of horror, especially psychological horror because of DDLC, which I continue to be a massive fan of today, both classics like scream and Friday the 13th, and analog horror like Mandela Catalogue, The Backrooms/Oldest View, Greylock, White Stag Education, and Vita Carnis, plus YouTubers who make content on them like Wendigoon.

Stuff like sitting alone in my room, feeling just a little bit better about not having any real, close friends at school, about having nobody to share my interests with. Feeling like I’m not alone for liking the things I like, for being a nerd, for liking things like school and learning instead of sports, despite what the kids at school said. For seeing someone else who was a nerd like me, happily married, giving me hope that someday I might find someone else who likes hearing me rant about fnaf and Nintendo games.

Thank you Matpat, you’ve helped me more than a lot of people who were supposed to.

In light of Matpat’s ‘retirement’ is wanna say a couple things,

firstly, there is better things that you could be doing with your time than scrounging around looking for something that you can use to criticise someone for some perceived bigotry. I’ve seen some examples of him ‘being transphobic’ and since I’m trans I think I can speak a bit better about that. The most used evidence I’ve seen is one video theorising about pyro’s gender which is from TEN YEARS AGO. Using something from a decade ago as damning evidence of a persons current beliefs is not only silly but also it denies them as a person of their humanity and their ability to grow

As a trans person myself I think it’s antithetical to our own identity because to be trans is to change and grow, whether that he in your appearance or in your own mindset. And to be human and to simply be alive as a creature on this earth is to change and evolve because that kinda what we do. I know on the internet it can be hard to realise that people have probably changed in the time since they posted anything but that leaves no excuse to attack people over stuff they said a decade ago because I think you’re more mature than that.

I wanna leave this post on a positive note so if there’s anything to learn from Matpat it’s that you don’t have to change the world to have made an impact

Simply the act of making someone smile means that you have made an impact. So keep making people happy whether it be by telling dumb jokes to your friends or by making a dumb tumblr post because that can really make somebody’s day better and you never know when someone’s day being a bit better will lead them

additionally do stuff that makes you happy, tell a dumb joke to your friends because it’ll make you happy, make a dumb tumblr post about something you LIKE (for the love of god hate blogs cannot be healthy for you) because you never know when you’re simply where that might lead you

As always I’m simply a person on tumblr not a professional in anything I have no authority on this but I do just like to see people happy. To summarise; that’s just a theory. Thanks for reading. 🩷

[sidhewrites]

The Prince in the Wood, Part 5

Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five. Part Six.

Approx. 1450 words.

Content warning for a mentions of hospitalization, medical tests, blood pressure, and one mention of of underage drinking.

So I kept it to myself. Chalked the bruises up to an uncomfortable sleeping position, and the scratch something that I must have done by accident in my sleep. Of course, I wasn’t one to stir -- hardly ever had to make the bed, I moved so little -- but it was easier simply to ignore it. After all, it never happened again. I always made it to my own bed before I fell asleep, and Mary stayed up late with a little flashlight, reading or drawing or doing whatever it was she busied herself with long after I’d fallen asleep.

And life continued. Frail, fragile Mary remained home more and more, now a regular at the doctor’s office for all the tests they were trying to run. The doctors never found anything beyond the usual -- anemia and insomnia and, occasionally, low blood pressure -- but they kept an eye out all the same.

My remaining teenage years resembled something almost normal. I got a girlfriend, then broke up with her the week before prom. I went out to parties where some of the kids drank alcohol. And I applied to colleges, both local and prestigious, just to see where I could get accepted. Mary applied as well, but we all knew she’d be going to the nearby community college to stay close to home. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t make it into anything more noteworthy than a state school that offered generous scholarships to local residents, but it was still a good few hours’ drive away -- further than I’d ever gone from home without my family, and our trips had never lasted longer than a weekend.

The idea of so much change terrified me as much as it drew me in. I loved my family, but my life had always revolved so closely around them, and a part of me was desperate to see the sort of person I would be if it was just me. No crazy sister who’d run out into the woods and spoke weird languages into thin air, no fathers obsessed with security and locking us up like prisoners. As normal as our life had become, the shadow of the past still hung over us in a way I could never truly escape without leaving home.

Mary thought it would be a great idea. We were studying one afternoon, going over guides and notes for an upcoming exam when I presented the idea to her, and she smiled at me instantly.

“You could do anything you wanted,” she said, eyes bright in a rare moment of energy. “Join a rock band. Write a movie. Become one of those goth girls that old people are scared of.” 

I laughed. “Some old people are already scared of me.” I put on my best smirk a la Norman Bates, and said, “Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?’

Mary laughed as well, and threw an eraser at me, which I promptly put in my pocket.

“Mine, now,” I said.

“Hey, wait, I need that.”

“Too bad. It’s coming to college with me, now.”

We both laughed then, arguing over erasers and supplies and forgetting to compare our notes. 

The day after the exam, however, Mary had another episode. She woke up paler than ever, dark circles under her eyes, and we had to rush her to the hospital. Alarmingly low blood pressure, with another bite, this time on her wrist. It looked like it had healed up overnight, nothing more than two faint scars on her skin, but there was nothing else that seemed connected to it.

I sat with her while our dads spoke with the doctor in the hall, reading opinion columns out of yesterday’s newspaper out loud. The IV beside her bed dripped slowly, replacing the blood that had been lost seemingly overnight, and she frowned up at the ceiling, only half aware of the world around her.

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and looked up to see Mary’s hand reaching out to mine. I took it and gave a gentle squeeze, hoping it would ground her in reality at least a little bit. “I’m here,” I said.

“Promise not to forget me?” She spoke so quietly, I almost missed it.

“What?”

“When you go away and have an exciting life on your own. Will you remember me?”

I didn’t understand. She spoke as if my future had already been decided, as if she knew what I would choose when I barely knew myself. “Don’t say that. You’re my sister. How could I leave you behind?”

She just smiled sadly at me, and then looked up at the ceiling again, eyes misting over like they had so often before. Nothing else I said would reach her, and I gave up before even thinking of trying again.

But she was right, in the end. I accepted a place at the state university, and by the end of that summer, half of our bedroom was packed up in suitcases and loaded into a borrowed SUV. We made it a family trip, spending a few days in the city just exploring before I moved into the dormitory officially. It was a tearful week, though the city life seemed to do Mary some good. She filled out some, a bit of color coming to her pale face as we explored and sought out hole-in-the-wall shops and restaurants. 

I slept fitfully while we were there, nothing like the deep sleep I was used to, but I wrote it off as nerves. Everything was changing all at once, after all, and I hadn’t a thought to spare for anything else.

My roommate, Shannon, was a girl from out of state who was here on both swimming and academic scholarships, and she terrified me at first -- at least until she put up video game and movie posters on her side of the wall. She introduced me to all her favorite pieces of media, as well as the best places and tips on how to study without burning yourself out. We became fast friends, and I found myself more than a little excited, even when the day finally came to say goodbye to my family.

I hugged them all tightly as I could -- even Mary, fragile as she was -- and swore to write as soon as the week was up to let them know how things were going.

“Remember your promise,” Mary said through tears, her little hand gripping mine.

“I’m not gonna forget you.” I’d lost count of how many times I had said it over the past few months, but I still said it again. “I promise. I’ll write and call, and I’ll be back home before you know it.” 

She nodded, dubious, and hugged me again, before shuffling into the car and letting Pop start the long ride home.

I did write them, by the way. I remembered at the end of the week, and every other week after that for the first month or so. But school was -- busy. Occupying. I joined a club, I went to parties, and Shannon always had something to do. My letters and phone calls home became less frequent, and I thought about my family less and less. My sleeping patterns never improved, but Shannon introduced me to the world of coffee, and we spent plenty of countless nights awake, playing the latest games until dawn. 

I was living a life free of my old worries and nightmares, even going so far as to spend one weekend in the nearby woods with a few friends, close enough to a campground to be legal, but far enough from civilization that we could almost forget the world beyond.

Someone had brought an electric lantern that could flicker like a dim campfire, and we sat in a circle around it, daring each other to come up with the best ghost story. Everyone came up with the cliche scary stuff -- skinwalkers, deranged murderers, and the ghosts of their victims.

And then it was my turn. Everyone looked at me, and I froze.

I’ve never been that creative. I couldn’t come up with imaginary monsters that hunted us down or things that had once been human. That had always been Mary’s gift, not mine.

Mary.

Her name struck me oddly, and guilt began to press down on my chest. How long had it been since I’d given my sister any thought? There was so much else in my life that I could barely stop to think about anything beyond the university’s campus, much less my sister, convalescing in a bedroom hundreds of miles away.

Someone said my name, and I looked up, suddenly brought back to the present. 

“It’s your turn,” they said.

I nodded. I had an idea.

“These woods are alive, you know, and they have a prince. When the leaves rustle, it means they’re going to invite us to visit him for tea.”

[naayewolf]

“I’ll devour you” Kokushibo x  Fem!Demon Reader [Smut]

Summary: You decide to fight Kokushibo. It’s a canon fact that any demon who fights him and loses [All of them] are eaten by Uppermoon 1 in a show of power. So as you lay on your ass you offer him another option to how you can be useful to him. TW:  Fuck or die scenario, kinda OOC, Pussy eating, Rough riding, Tear kink, Blood as lube, cum stuffing, bet your ass theres a size differance, mentions of cannibolism [On koku’s part], mentions of Impregnation Notes: I LOVED this idea when it came to me, but it does include a rather serious context so the TWs should be taken seriously. READ AT OWN RISK!!

You had never had your ass beaten so quickly. You lay against the earth in a pool of your own blood, the injuries slow to heal. The cause stands above you letting his aura chill you through each of your broken bones. As the injuries heal themselves, you let tears pool from your eyes. You had known of Uppermoon one’s eating preferences before the fight. You knew of the danger, and your regeneration was the usual cause for your careless fighting style. 

Your superior doesn’t even grace you with a glance, choosing instead, to your horror, to lick your blood from his sword.  He lets out a content sigh lowering his gaze to your newly healed form. He hums in thought as you sit up on your knees. You remember what he had told you in the minutes before your fight. “You know, if you lose … I’ll devour you.” Unlike your careless prior statement of disrespect, you were starting to realize that you did not want to be killed, that you did not want to die.

You bow your head to the ground letting a sob of pure sorrow fall from your lips. “Please- PLEASE! Don’t kill me. I can be useful, I can be anything you want! Just .. Please, Don’t kill me.” A face of contempt looks back at you, though he does seem to consider it.

He lets out a growl, feral in his intimidation. “How exactly would YOU prove useful to a demon like ME?” Pure serious pouring from his entire being. You let another tear fall, letting your gaze fall to his crotch. He is a being purely focused on getting stronger, BEING stronger. Surely .. he was pent up, surely he needed release. 

You crawl forward until your face is lined up with his cock. You lift a hand up to cup his thigh, and he growls, He has half a thought to cut the hand from your arm. “I- I’m a  young, breedable demon. I’m sure, with the proper training, I could please you.” He tightens his gaze on you, bearing his fangs. The mere fact that you're still alive is a miracle. “I .. I haven’t bed anyone, as a demon or human. Please just let me attempt to serve you. If I can’t, you can kill me, just please give me the possibility to live from this.”

He grins, though from how desperate the situation is  you are unsure if this is a good sign. He grabs a horn on your head and presses your face into the cloth of his crotch. “Interesting. You .. Have really fallen that far?” Another tear stains your face, as you can’t breathe. You nod into him, hoping cooperation will be your way out. He makes a noise that’s halfway between a moan and a hum, and drops you to the ground. 

You breath fast and audibly from your previous lack of air. He nudges you with a foot. “Stand. Disrobe.” You immediately obey, the tears from before drying on your face. As your yukata hits the ground, so does he. The lower sets of his eyes are trained to your core, while the top are looking you in the eyes. Staring into your very soul. He closes all six eyes He spreads your hips and buries his face into you. A long pink tongue shoots itself inside your walls, while his nose breaths through your clit. 

He licks every inch of your core, letting his nose tease your clit. Every lick sends you more over the edge as your hands squeeze a hold on your tits to stay in the real world. He removes his tongue from you and sucks your clit like a baby at its mother's mothers nip. You let a hand move down to his hair tugging it loose from its hold. Your hips threaten to close on him, and he grips them apart roughly. 

You're bouncing on his face at this point. He moans into you, sending vibrations that only strengthen the knot in your stomach. He rubs his tongue across your clit in circles, stopping with each rotation to give a kiss to your core. Your release has your knees shaking, the only thing holding you up is his grip on your thighs. He dips his tongue back inside you to lick up every drop that your pussy squirts out. 

He moans contently, sitting back to let you fall into his lap. He kisses you, making you lick yourself from his lips. You whine into his lips, silently wanting more. He undoes the tie, keeping his kimono up. You snap back as he uses your hands to pull it off his shoulders. You have stars in your eyes as you rub your hands over his shoulders and down his sides. Your breath hitches when you see his cock.

A divine member indeed, it stands to attention at 13 inches with a 2½ inch girth. He lets out a low chuckle before lifting you above it, panic strikes you again. “Wait-” He does not, instead he shoves all of it inside your unprepped womb and pulls you in for a kiss when you scream. Blood pools past his member as tears wet your eyes  once more. 

He wastes no time pulling your body up and thrusting himself into you again. You scream again into his mouth and he grins and licks a tear from your eye. You slowly come to the realization that being devoured would be less painful as this, and you let out a silent apology to all the humans you’ve devoured over the years. 

He fucks you like this for 30 minutes straight, unswayed by the grip you give him through every orgasm he fucks from you. He’s released once before, but he never stops pounding you. The endurance he’s showing you now makes you wonder if you ever had a chance in the first place. He slams you down on him one last time, his member pierces your womb and you scream the loudest you have through this whole encounter. He empties his balls directly into your womb, with the rate you were going at this, there was no way he wouldn’t have impregnated you before the end.

He pulls out with a hum of happiness. He hugs you up, wrapping you inside his kimono. “I think you have proven yourself worthy. Surely, you can go another round when we return home.” You begin sobbing once more, hugging yourself into his muscles. “Hm .. You don’t want to? Very well, you will act as my cockwarmer.~” You hug him closer, breathing in his scent. His smell was clouded with sweat, and despite the last hour, it was comforting. 

Perhaps .. After you get past the chilling aura he gives out, he’s not bad. You could see a bittersweet future with him as long as he let you live, but would that stop you? No. 

[shhhhimwatchingthis]

Horror/pop culture influences to the Hatchetfieldverse

As a disclaimer i have not listened to every talkback or livestream in its entirety and this is not in any way meant to be The Definitive, Master, Absolutely The Only Right List list. this is just me sharing some horror knowledge and where I think influences lie. please feel free to add on to this list!

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals: The biggest connection I can make is Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) about aliens taking over the bodies of humans as part of a plot to invade earth. where the term "podperson" comes from

Black Friday: I know the premise is based on the real life Tickle Me Elmo craze in 1994. (people trampling each other for the doll) in terms of pop culture the evil/haunted doll is a trope as seen in Chucky (1978) and Annabelle (2014). Wiggly is an eldritch being, the black and white, the cults, madness (we'll get into eldritch later)

Nightmare Time: So many nightmare time episodes give B-horror vibes and I love it

The Hatchetfield Ape Man: what B horror is made of. I love how retro this one feels even as it takes place in the modern day timeline (Ted and Hidgens are in it, there's a mention of texting and Ted's pornhub premium account, and yet Lucy feels like a such a period character) feels like an old B creature movie (the creature from the black lagoon comes to mind)

Watcher World: to an extent haunted amusement park is a trope (hell its in classic scooby doos) loved ones turning on each other and possesion/influence is seen in a lot of paranormal horror (the conjuring 2, the exorcist) illusion based horror is done really well is Mike Flanagan's Oculus (2013)

Forever and Always: the android and the clone plots feels like classic SF. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep/Blade Runner (1982) Philip K Dick style sci-fi.

Time Bastard: the song itself is a James Bond tribute. a time loop is a great storytelling frame that can cross genres, although the ImplicationsTM always hover around horror. Groundhog Day (1993) is the classic timeloop example, if more lighthearted.

Jane's a Car: this is Stephen King all the way baby. Christine (1983) is novel/film about a killer car, the owner of said car's growing obsession with it, and the cars violent protective but deadly nature

The Witch in the Web: this is trickier for me. the witch is an ancient trope and Willabella Muckwab is a classic witch in the woods. I mean thats fairytale, Hansel and Gretel, luring children stuff. Hannah as a psychic child, and a very powerful one feels very Stephen King, (Eleven from Stranger Things is the same type of character)

Nightmare Time Two

Honey Queen: In terms of the relationship between Linda and Zoe, Death Becomes Her (1992) comes to mind. theres just something about the ruthlessness of these two antiheros. also Gerald is a plastic surgeon much like the male protagonist of that film

Perky's Buds: okay the weed turning birds sentient i can't speak to but birds in horror is a trope for sure, Hitchcock's The Birds (1963) is perhaps the most famous. The Hatchetmen being portrayed as an insular dangerous hillbilly family is also a trope, seen in The Hills Have Eyes (1977) and Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Abstinence Camp: Ah, the slasher. quintessential modern horror. Abstinence Camp is probably most like Friday the 13th (1980) with both the summer camp setting and the focus on the chastity (or lack there of) of the teenagers and that being the reason for their deaths. (other famous slashers being Psycho (1960) Halloween (1978), and Scream (1996))

Daddy: Peter pan syndrome or the forever child reminds me a bit of The Orphan (2013) though I admit that's not exactly the dynamic here. creepy child forcing a relationship is the twist in Ginger Snaps 2 (2004). cults spring up ALOT in hatchetfield, specifically the idea of wealthy elite worshipping the lords in black in exchange for power. this is an eldritch trope, as seen below.

Killer Track: satanic rock music or music that drives teenagers to the devil is an old panic. In terms of pop culture the premise of the cursed song itself (listen and you die unless you force other people to listen) is The Ring (2001, for the American remake) in The Ring a cursed video kills the watcher in 7 days, unless they show the tape to someone else.

Yellow Jacket: children fighting in death matches is popular now because of The Hunger Games, although the dystopian tropes roots of this is seen earlier in Battle Royale (2000) or The Long Walk (1979) (hello AGAIN Stephen King).

hatchetfield in general: the spooky town/weird town/horror town is a personal favourite trope of mine and hatchetfield qualifies. also seen in Welcome to Night Vale (2012) and the cartoon Gravity Falls (2012) to name only two. Also the ever iconic Twin Peaks (1990)

eldritch horror: the center of hatchetfield lore is the Lords in Black and they're eldeitch horror, that is massive, almost unknowable and incomprehensible extra-demensionsal beings whose scale and power to humanity is like an ant and a boot (we're the ants). explored in the works of HP Lovecraft (most famously The Call Of Cthulhu) but an enduring branch of horror in its own right. Common staples include another dimension(s) where the creatures are from (the black and white in our case) , cults worshipping the Beings for power (the starry children, Linda's wiggly cult) and madness or a corruptive influence. a great modern example is The Magnus Archvies

other influences: saw a Mariah Rose Faith tweet that said she was watching Evil Dead and could see the hatchetfield influences and yeah, the Evil Dead (1981) trilogy is very campy, very self referential horror with a starkid like sense of humor (there's a Toronto musical version Evil Dead Live that is Very Starkid, its infamous for having a "splash zone" where if you're an audience member sitting in those seats you WILL be covered in fake blood)

scream, similar to above, very meta, mixes of comedy and horror.

bonus: Hey Melissa: while not exactly the same reminds me of Misery (1990) about a woman who comes across her favourite author in a car accident, she rescues him and cares for him...and then won't let him leave. body horror, capture,obsession its all there. also based ON ANOTHER STEPHEN KING BOOK GOD DAMN IT.

what horror do you see in hatchetfield? what did I miss? let me know!

EDIT: Nerdy Prudes Must Die: Bullied teenagers getting revenge on the popular kids who tormented them: Carrie (1976 for the film) (what's up Stephen King, pull up a chair), also Heathers (1988). A group of teenagers covering up a bad thing they did and being picked off by the person they wronged is also a trope, seen in I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) Nerdy Prudes is also the first stage show to include The Black Book. The black book, a grimoire or spellbook of edrtich knowledge reminds me of the Necronomicon. The Necronomicon was introduced to pop culture by HP Lovecraft, it appears in multiple of his own works, and then later in works by different creators, including The Evil Dead films. Lovecraft loved the idea of the Necronomicon appearing in other peoples work, as it built up a collective horror/eldritch mythology within our culture. Its appearance in so many works, has cemented the Cursed book/Book of The Dead/within pop culture.

[twipsai]

while i understand the point youre making, and you are correct about "sometimes kids content isnt for you, and that doesnt make it cringe", the bigger issue about things like skibidi toilet along with cocomelon-- or, taking it a step further, channels like Enchanted Mob Studios-- isnt really that its "cringe". kids content on youtube has existed forever and theres no shame in creating or watching it.

the main issue thats been happening over the years is a real race to the bottom with content farms churning out pure "content" for money. the fact that skibidi toilet is on youtube shorts and not youtube itself i think enables how snappy this continuous cycle of kids content on youtube works.

now this is NOT to say that the creator of these silly little gmod animations has any malicious intent whatsoever, i barely know anything about the guy himself and i dont blame em for milking a ridiculously popular series. however, the content farms that see this success and DO take advantage of it to create algorithm-fodder is,,,well, i dont think its good. its like TheSoul Publishing of mascot horror content on youtube.

and this would normally be the part where i list sources that word this better than i do, but my computer is currently occupied and i have trouble focusing on my phone, so here are two videos that i think have pretty good segments about this very thing!

hbomberguy's recent Plagiarism and You(tube) covers content mills in a chapter at 1:04:06, and while its really just one part of a really amazing video essay, it makes a lot of conpelling points (though it doesnt specifically discuss kids content)

Sagan Hawke's Mascot Horror's Past, Present, and Uncertain Future is an incredible watch that i suggest you check out if youre at all interested, but he discusses this topic at 57:06 if youre not insane like i am lol

anyways. sorry ik this was just a random post i have neurological problems

EDIT: OH YEAH I FORGOT TO MENTION-- yeah, there are DEFINITELY adults that are just kinda assholes and call kids content cringe, the argument im making is why a lot of the more recent kids content on youtube has been sorta,,, lackluster

"skibidi toilet is so cringe!! these kids have terrible taste these days!" okay?? it's not for you?? it was never intended for you?? you would have watched garbage at that age too if you had access to youtube??