#theres gotta be a better way of doing this
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So im binding my first fanfic. Which means formatting my first fanfic.
i Spent hours fixing paragraph formatting by manually comparing the beginning of every single paragraph, then copy and pasting to fix wonky paragraphs… only to realize halfway through that I forgot to check for italics after the fix, because my fixes get rid of italics.
So even though I just manually went through over 300 pages… i now have to do it again except comparing the italics. Luckily theres a way to highlight italics so it’s definitely going by faster.
This book is gonna be the death of me
#back on my bullshite tag#theres gotta be a better way of doing this#all i know is i converted pdf to a word doc which fucked some bits up#and i cant leave it wonky because half the experience of this fic is the paragraph breaks being specific spots#since its also my first ever formatting im experimenting a lot and learning so the entire thing is a slow process#i did get to page 100 on my italics scanthrough and ive already caught some important ones
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Gooooood lordy. Law in a jacket like that is the thing I need to die happy especially in your style. Is this for an upcoming comic or an old one? Or is this just some practice that you decided to bless us with?
I'm sitting here like why have I waited so long to embrace his feather motif 😭😭 it's for an upcoming comic!! It's for the forgetful series and ngl this section exploded from a 6 page draft to 13 pages 🙈🙈 but alsoooo I very much wanna just do a full color draw of this fit but also I gotta get back to life after but also (there are so many things I wanna draw)
#the forgetful series has exploded in its entirety tbh#since it started posting ive added like 35 pages and will be adding at least 10 more before im done#life after is side eyeing me#also theres one more part of this series i gotta do typesetting on an old strip for#i gotta do 20 more pages of life after to do a book print#but also also cuz apparently im using this as an excuse to tag rant#srry mannominon#the part that this law is in is the sequence i think ive pushed myself the most as a comic artist!!#ive been making silly little comics since i was a kid but not in earnest like this#the action in life after has been tough territory but the way math is hard#this sequence was hard the way like poetry is hard#and making sure it all made sense#shout out to killy n alana for making it Better#ok im done srry srry i dont shut up#my asks
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Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are. I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!
#jay talkin#metalocalypse#im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends'#who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection#and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao#also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life#aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear#but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once#and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast#but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth#maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream#i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do#theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl#but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional#these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact#the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around#im glad they find that in each other eventually!!#i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy#everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system#they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow#their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!
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can someone explain to me why binding in any form when you have a large chest is hell no matter what you do
#this is rhetorical#i know why#binders are fucking BOGUS#aside from the sensory issues they give me personally THEY JUST DON’T FUCKING WORK#AT LEAST FOR ME#and then i discovered binding tape#1000% better than binders on multiple fronts#but it still sucks#because god forbid someone have a tape size large enough#and then theres the fucking blisters#which i do not give a fuck HOW you swing it THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOME BLISTERING IF YOUR CHEST IS HEAVY#AND IF YOU HAVE A LARGE CHEST AND TAPE AND DONT BLISTER PLEASE SWEET FUCK TELL ME HOW YOU DO IT#because i can have it on and pretend that my skin isn’t actively being shredded#and that i won’t be standing in the shower in a few days peeling it and said shredded skin off of me#probably pissing my suitemates the hell off because i didn’t anticipate it being that bad because i never think its that bad#until i take it off and then suddenly its like why the fuck am i bleeding#and i gotta tell myself it’s because there’s no winning for you dumbass!!!!#you’re going to be in pain all the time no matter what you do!!!!!#let me out#can i fucking quit now please how much more#because with everything in america going the way it is idfk if i can take this shit much longer#yapping#vent
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cats are so cool because wow fluffy thing but then you find out they are Full Of Knives
#i really wanna get better at learning how to intersct with cats whdjhsidh#ive heard that sometimes you gotta act like they dont exist and theyll understand that you respect their boundries#but. that is very hard.#what do you mean theres a sweet fluffy critter in the room that im NOT supposed to touch#also um. telling the difference between play bites n STOP THAT bites#they usually hurt either way tho. thats the big thing#curse you traffic cone (name of friend’s kitten who hurt me this morning)#plum rambles#plum shitposts#cats#kittens#kitties
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maybe i do need to go to therapy bc its probably not good that ive been living on autopilot and the last 7 years went by so fast but also bc i was deliberatly Wanting the time to go by to put as much space between me and the events of 2017-2020 as possible all while somewhat knowing my young adulthood was slipping me by and now both my teenage years and my early 20s are gone and i still feel like my 19th birthday was yesterday yeesh!!
#i do feel like im out of time completely and its kind of.making me insane bc its not fair lol#life could be worse! but it couldve been a lot better too#like on one hand i think i had a normal reaction to exceptionally traumatic shit happening to me with no support system.#and everything that happened was caused by shit out of my control and i Know that bc i spent my teen years specifically working hard to Be#in control#like i did make the choice to give up sure. but that was when absolutely every effort had been exhausted#and theres only so much a human being can take especially when i was so young#but on the other hand!! even when i found a support system and things are better now than they were#i still feel like im trapped perpetually in this Waiting period#waiting for life to begin Waiting for an OPPORTUNITY to make my life begin already#and no effort on my part yields anything so i have no choice but to WAIT#but im TIRED. of waiting#im sick of seeing videos of people way younger than me making art ive always dreamed id have made by now#theres also this invisable wall i have always had built around me that is Impenetrable and i keep hitting it#and its gotta be me but it really feels like the universe has some unseeable chains on me which aounds so stupid#but im not allowed to get passed it#im way past the point of even being capable of showing the agony it causes me now like its just a dull joke#ANYWAY the fact ive typed all this makes me think ok. yeah maybe it is time to talk to someone LOL#carry on im fine this happens to me all the time. helps to get it written out at least
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ahaaa. redraw of this oldass drawing
#art#my art#digital art#digital illustration#fanart#gintama fanart#sakata ginko#sakata gintoki#gintama#this took me longer than it shouldve#what can i say im lazy as fuck#idk if ive said it here before but it always bares repeating: none of my art is finished im just finished with all my art#i dont go into any piece with like a vision of it im goin purely off vibes n i stop when i think theres nothin else i can do other than jus#startin over#so im not like suuuper happy w this but i do like it better than the original#ur allowed to like the og better but dont tell me bc itll make me sad lmao#haaated the hair & face on the og & i am satisfied w both now#also the lil thing of the pattern was sooo fun to draw i almost put way too much fuckin time into that i actually feel like i did anyways#but im srs its so fun#the strawberry was a pain i made a no strawb vers n i kinda like it more but. i gotta post the strawb version#i put too much effort into the strawberry. and yet. not enough. basically i gave up ✌#its what i do best#um. i might make more gintama art. sorry lol#ik i said it like in the tags on my last post the lil sneak of this piece but like sorry if u followed me for any fandom in particular#i lure u in w 1 good piece for ur fav media & then i disappear for months & come back w a completely different fandom#bait wait and switch#anyways lmfao thats the post
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Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them
sometimes i watch that video just to feel something
#you are so valid for that anon#theres something about the energy of that video that really gets to me#theyre filming cause its promo and its good clickbait and its silly and fun and Them#but its also For Them yknow?? theyre like we're gonna talk about how we're gonna be apart for the longest time since we've known each other#AFTER 13 years of knowing each other#just even framing it like that really is wild. but its exactly what happens. and they're both on the same page of yeah its a long time.#which. it isnt That Long but it IS for them yknow!#the silly intro phil does in front of Dan's closet. and it starts with dan going oi if you're crying about me it better be a long video!#its goofy and ridiculous. theyre in this bouncy happy uncertain mood. because theres gotta be some adrenaline with it but also appreciating#each other while theyre still there together. then its the complete lack of intro to dan bc come on now its dan you know him. obviously.#& then its the 'sphere' convo and im like bitch. he wants to touch you cause youre leaving!!! let him!!#then dans genuine shock at the swear like mans is down BAD. and then the teasing! the so real plant teasing. but also general life concern#the heart cactus makes me feel some type of way okay#the sheer domesticity of the stair convo and the ps4 struggle#and how phil turns it right back on dan with the selfie incident and dan is bashful about it.#and how phil just. gets to say that dan cant shower in the bus. bc it freaks him out. & ofc dan wont stress him like that.#(also the closet rifling. something dan's 'nice to know you do. in a dark drawer somewhere' vs the lacey shirt being lacey underwear idea)#the bathroom being very clearly a shared space.#goddd theyre sooo smiley and soft and i Cant#dnp#c.text#dan and phil
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic
#idkkkkkkkkkkkkk who looks at zx and is like 'you know what. this is a healthy parent child relationship'#like girl by fitting them into father son boxes you are actively making their relationship imbalance Worse#if you do that and dont shy away from it i respect that but if you say dad/son makes their relationship more wholesome or whatever like WHY#now i wont deny shippers might do that too but i see the dad son version so much i think im just averse to it by default#also because i think father son makes people actively Try to make their relationship something that its not and it erases a bunch of subtlet#subtleties in it. it's the nuanced r/ship -> entirely unproblematic and flavorless r/ship that i hate#also the number of people who'll block if you ship zx. like damn thats crazy you guys really think theyre father son (fake)???#at their peak they're like. 4000 year old guys who have too much history and repression and some weird entanglement of 'nah im bothering him#too much' and 'gotta protect him w my life' complexes. and then this devolves into theyre never gonna kiss until 3000 more years have passed#listen they just Contain Multitudes idc if you dont ship it just dont make it into dad and son and we will be so gucci#jing.yuan and yanqing are like different i think mostly bc yanqing is actually like a minor and jing yuan is also a normal ish person#plus the light cone and the abouts?? yeah this is an actual like adopted parent/child thing#also good or bad news i caved and am now playing hsr. the plan is to pull yanqing and then go on infinite hiatus in the game 👍#JWKFLJWEK i dont think theres really any draws for me besides him. personally neutral on turn based combat and the open world isn't giving#the only saving grace i have rn is 1) ive gotten to the part where bron.seele is real and man theyre gay 2) trailblazer trio 3) tall female#mc 4) everyone has way better emoting abilities than genshin 5) su.shang's really cute <3#the story doesnt really interest me though its like cool but not mindgrippingly interesting#tbf i think genshin is the same way storyline wise (at the beginning) but the difference is that turn based combat isnt really my thing LMAO#ramblings!#zhongxiao#if you want to filter it out ??
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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some Janka funfacts about music, communication and the memories her past 'owners' i've been marinating in my head:
her favourite songs belong to either one of two categories: they have a lot of simple phrases used in daily life, or a lot of specific, complex ones
she focuses on the lyrics (since she can use them for communication) rather than the melody; when she played a recording of Chopin once, she deemed it a waste of time and memory space. she only uses classical music when she wants to "put someone on hold" (doesn't want to speak to them)
she can use words from different songs to communicate, but frequent changes take a lot of effort - that's why she prefers lyrics with full phrases she can use. when in trusted enviroment, she would omit some less important words to save her energy, but she usually makes this effort around other people to seem more intelligent and worth keeping around
a young man who bought her, Ryszard Szewczyk, recorded the alphabet to make Janka communicate with him letter by letter. it was extremely ineffective, as not only Janka got exhausted after a simple sentence, it also turned out she didn't know how to spell
hearing and the ability to play music helped her compensate not only for her lack of speech, but also for not being able to see. since the horn amplifying the sound is her face and she can hear quite well, when someone is in front of her she can locate them because of the soundwaves bouncing off of them, in the mechanisms simillar to those of a bat
she remembers people whose houses she lived in by their voice, how rough they were when moving her about and the music they enjoyed. her favourite was Mirka, who had a deep, soft voice and would sometimes talk to her when she was feeling lonely. Janka remembers her fondly, as the first person to see her for more than just an object or a curiosity
#gotta work on the lore. all my notes are full of doodles of janka's 'owners' (i really do need to find a better word man)#but i guess some of them would wear that label proudly. because she was nothing more than am object with no way to speak out or walk away#ramen try not to make a robot character mute to potray their struggles against dehumanisation and objectification (impossible)#hope im not boring you with lore. because theres gonna be a lot soon 😔☝️#spg fanbot#janka#original characters#oc
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be cringe, pick a fight on twitter 💪
just went on a hater rant against beloved tv show hannibal on my priv I should post that on main and make people with meat emojis in their display name really get mad at me yes or no
#asks#anonymous#jk im not gonna do that#cannot think of a worse way to spend my day than fighting with 🌈🍖🔞💀🕊😈🥵🍆💦 bitches on twitter#except perhaps targ stans but at least sometimes they're funny#my hannibal opinion is that its fun for the silly gore and once you remove that you're left with a pretentious nothingburger. btw#also um. full disclosure i didnt finish it.................s3 was 2 boring for me sorry. I stand by my hater opinion tho#like there's gotta be a better show to put in the gay holy trinity with black sails & iwtv#i guess its bc they're all like. edgy gay shows with evil bitches as opposed to like the good omens type. but theres gotta be smth better#I understand the cultural significance of hannibals to tumblrinas. I just think its time to move on#this isnt a take im willing to die for if you wanna call me a dumb baby who doesnt understand subtle writing or smth ill be like ok sure#I just like being a hater :3
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I really love making vocal synth duets and trios and other group songs but there is nothing worse on this earth than attempting to balance the audio levels
#pros of making a synth duet: you get to hear two nice character voices together :)#cons: volume automation clips#theres gotta be a better way. compression kind of works but also sounds like shit cause you lose all the dynamics#i need to look at other plugins and methods. i cant keep living like this (carefully adding points on an automation thing)#edit: just learned about vocal rider plugins. explodes#i still have to do a lot of manual stuff but this.... this may be a game changer.... once i can get my buses and sidechains straight
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i’m so obsessed w this small youtuber in particular
#stream#‘in the distance is some sort of mommy and me baby singing group’ *records them* ‘that lady is that who i think that is she walks w her dogs#in such perfect unison’ ‘it’s like they’re in the army’#‘is the cheese i grew up eating’ u had a specific Cheese ???#she’s gotta be like 40#she’s in canada#she’s literally doxxing herself#ALSKLAKSLAKSLSKSLAKSLKALAKSL#‘this is the front of my house :) & this is the road i live on :) & this is multiple angles of my front door :)#OBSESSED W HER#‘& i’ve got this roomba & … she’s not that good she just bumps into things. better than doing it myself’ it being sweep the floors she’s so#real#ok i thought she was just some white woman but she may be mixed ????#like ok she reminds me of 2 SPECIFIC PEOPLE#& 1 OF THEM ISNT EVEN TECHNICALLY MIXED SHE JUST HAS A CHINESE STEPMOTHER THAT PRETTY MUCH RAISED HER#idk we shall see she’s making chinese food and said ‘if ur of my age this is probably one u have grown up w’ so hmmmm#ok girl she’s fully using chopsticks she’s gotta be mixed#or in an asian household#IDK THERES LITERALLY A WAY THEY HOLD CHOPSTICKS IDK I KNOW I USE CHOPSTICKS ‘THE WHITE PERSON WAY’ BC THATS HOW I WAS TAUGHT#one of my mangers was like ‘how do u hold chopsticks’ i went like :3v & then she went oh u can’t hold chopsticks ALSKALSKALSKLSLLLSPKSLKSLA#she says CANTONESE so INTERESTING#‘when u see the brown gravy on chinese take out’ SHE SAYS CANTONESE GRAVY#& ‘a lot of people don’t know about cantonese food’ okokokokk listening and learning
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that thing she does
#dontstarvetogether#dst wigfrid#nah i KNOW her spine is aching. baby girl stop bending over like that#theres gotta be a better way to hold a spear i think#or who knows maybe not. maybe her back suffers and she simply has no choice#sorry only partially related. do you think any of the other survivors know how to give a good massage?? like#do you think nona could give a good massage? GOD. i would kill for that i think#the whole damn group needs their muscles loosened ten times over i think. someone needs to fix them#wigfrid dst
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