#there's too many things on there i dont want to answer but this question was one of them
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vanyafresita · 9 months ago
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after seeing this post by the artist afkeii on instagram, i got inspired to write a poem... and then i drew something to make it into a zine...
the way i feel about romantic love is... complicated... but i've known i'm on the aromantic spectrum for over a year now ! yippiee !
if you'd like to have a physical copy, feel free to [download the print version here] , and check [how to put it together / make a 8-page zine here]
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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months ago
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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fudgecake-charlie · 11 months ago
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sorry i havent been online i listened to one of my narrative playlists and ended up stuck down a fl Seeking plotline rabbit hole on the wiki. walked out there no longer normal, covered in wounds and wax and betrayal etc. don't talk to me about it. tag ramble
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nicosraf · 7 months ago
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This may or may not be a distraction from the shitty parts of life. But are the angels bottoms or tops or verse? I feel like Baal would be a top but for Lucifer he would be a sub bottom if Lucifer asked. Michael gives Top but not strict top and Lucifer gives power bottom but I think he would get bored eventually and he would want to switch it up.
#thismightnotbeanask #angelshavetakeovermylife
I don't want to answer this concretely but I do want to confirm that Baal would do absolutely anything if Lucifer asked
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pineappical · 1 year ago
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what are some your hc’s for tedtrent!! go crazy please!! :))
oh man oh man i know i have a whole bunch of them that i cannot for the life of me remember on the top of my head rn, which is why this ask is taking so long for me to answer but HMM...
i know that people like to make Trent out to be this, experienced Elder Gay type of guy but in my heart i know he's just as inexperienced to it as Ted (who, in my head, is bisexual, recently found out during his time in london or during the amsterdam episode even) and they're just two people falling in love in the most "I don't know how to do this, but I want to atleast try" way and at times get soo so so overwhelmed that someone loves them as much as they love the other. maybe their communication is absolute shit, maybe Trent doesn't even realize they're on their 3rd date and thought it was something similar to the indian restaurant where Ted just brought him along for dinner, i just think it could all be very silly, very intimate, just all around driving me up the damn walls!!!!!
oh also Trent absolutely hates Ted's whole, open jar peanut butter left on the counter for him to dip his finger into, thing. wishes daily that Ted would just use a darn spoon like a normal person 😭
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years ago
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I don't understand why it's generally not socially acceptable to recognize your good qualities. Like I don't understand why it's bad to be a show-off or a know-it-all or to brag. Like I think most people know "those things = bad" but not why.
It also seems like people are always either waaaaay into one end of the scale where they are just so unbearably full of themselves and have preposterously high self esteem (and most people act like this is fine too? Like a lot of celebrities and white men specifically seem to be like this) and I don't understand why so many people respect them then. Or they're the complete opposite with self esteem way too low despite the fact that they have redeeming qualities.
I feel like maybe the reason it's considered bad to brag is because you might 'make' other people feel inadequate but see that seems like a stupid reason to me because the problem then is not that you stated an opinion of your own self worth but is actually that everyone else is conditioned to compare themselves to each other in a very unhealthy way. And I think instead of discouraging people from opening up about what they take pride in, what they like about themselves, what makes them feel happy or content or confident, maybe we could just be discouraging people from viewing those things as personal threats? Idk just trying to formulate some thoughts on this
#idk why but this feels like a very convoluted topic#like so many people are probably coming from different starting positions on this than i am and im afraid that might#make it be misinterpreted or something#like i feel like there definitely is a balance where some self esteem is too little and some is too much#it just feels like it is exceedingly rare to find anyone with ideal realistic self esteem and idk why#i also dont mean this in a way to say that every action is the responsibility of the people taking offense either#because obviously thats not how that works. its understandable to demand a certain amount of respect#and to accept that your words (even the ones you say about yourself) could negatively impact other people#and thats not necessarily on them for being defensive#idk social concepts are strange and foreign to me so im still figuring this stuff out and through an autistic lense to boot#so sometimes i feel a bit like im conducting a study or an experiment more than writing a blog post#im just trying to understand people because i need to#it seems like the overwhelming majority of allistics have absolutely no interest in why they do the things that they do#so i have to go around experimenting instead of asking direct questions about this stuff#because when i do ask direct questions they look at me like i just asked them if the sky is actually blue or if its just gasses up there#in case you are not the most common dimwit. the sky is both of those things. however when you ask someone a question#phrased like that about a topic they dont want to admit they dont know about. they will usually avoid the question or answer absurdly#its actually kinda funny you should try it sometime#now im distracted because i dont know enough about how the sky works and i need to know#anyways gonna go down a research rabbit hole methinks
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knightzp · 11 months ago
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i. finished link click s2.
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scionshtola · 6 months ago
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i kinda dont think cori could have like a real fwb/casual sexual relationship with someone...like if they didnt have feelings they were trying to pretend they didnt have i feel like they'd be like okay that's nice. but i don't need you for that. where's the yearning
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morishenanigans · 5 months ago
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went to the bathroom. cried. came back. checked the time. ten minutes after med time. ah. so im just crazy i can work with this.
#im taking extra meds bc i need the big boy stuff#i still have not slept im just not gonna sleep#me trying to explain and talk myself thru my thinking process. starts crying bc the thoughts are just so scary#i think my major fear is being a bad person who does things to hurt people like ive heard of others doing#and then i get rlly focused on wondering if IM that person#if somehow all of my actions are lies#my thoughts are all manipulations and im just delusional about trying my best#maybe im really bad#and it just gets worse and worse and i stop being able to believe people#when they tell me its not like that#and i just. bangs my head against a therapists door.#please.#answer already#another biggest fear is becoming anti recovery for bpd bc idk.#i know i a lot wonder about how many more options do i have?? how much more can i take? before its too much#how much can i handle how much damage can i take#and how many treatments can fall through#i dont know how other people w bpd do this#i genuinely am at a loss at how they do this i want to know i want the answers i really do#i shouldve agreed to talk to my friends friend with it when they offered months ago#i think about it a lot. or was it a year ago or more than that? idk#but i just. i wish id talked and learned stuff. or maybe i wasnt ready but i am now? i dont know.#i dont know anything#my brain goes to mush so easily and i start questioning if anything is real or is everhything evil am i evil#it gets rlly bad. idk what to do. im hanigng on. im waiting for that therapist.#im gonna try and clean and self care tmrw i think. i want to explode
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determinate-negation · 3 months ago
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I have a question, and i mean this neutrally. When a gfm says it is “verified” and the verification is (as it often is) simply a blogger reblogging the post with no info, how are we meant to understand the gfm was verified? the handful of palestinian bloggers on here that verify gfm cant exactly spend so many hours for every campaign to make absolutely sure its legit. I mean they are human and most likely in troubled conditions themselves (or have family in difficulty). So we cant expect this vetting to be that thorough. How are we meant to know they didnt just rb the post without checking, or fall for the scam themself?
the palestinian and arabic speaking bloggers who have been verifying campaigns have been giving info on how they verify, mostly i think through messaging people in arabic and asking them stuff but i dont know for sure. i know that some arabic speaking bloggers on here have said that they dont want to post publicly in detail how they verify people because scammers will see and figure out how to look more legit. there also is a specific palestinian dialect of arabic that people who arent actually palestinian will most likely not speak.
please refer to things like the vetted fundraiser list or other fundraisers on @/el-shab-hussein @/nabulsi @/sar-soor blogs as i think those are some of the most authoritative bloggers on here for this. if something is verified by multiple people its likely its real.
i dont really know what else you want people to do. i understand your concern but your skepticism is just based on your belief that the people verifying this are too busy to really look into it. you also can look into peoples accounts yourself you know. reverse image search their photos, look up their name to see if they have other social media. a lot of people might have instagram or facebook but only recently made a tumblr. just use some critical thinking and information literacy for gods sake instead of immediately being suspicious of everyone to the point where you are accusing random people of being scammers just because they dont know how this site works. or on the opposite end, reblogging things like insulin paypal campaigns which are the most common scam on here. just think and use context clues pleaseeeeeeee. because accusing someone of being a scammer without evidence and spreading that information could actually have life or death outcome. i just dont answer asks that seem ambiguous and arent verified, i think thats better than potentially hurting a real person asking for donations by publicly calling them a scammer or reporting their blog
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mayspicer · 1 year ago
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Girl help I really need to do the test tasks for a new job or else my life is gonna get very bad real soon, but all I want to do is draw ttrpg characters.
#majek says shit#ok so Im jobless since august but I had a safe amount saved to live a little too comfortably until about now#and now I have money left to live relatively normally until January and after that uhhhhh bad 0 money left#I got caught in a trap of “animators are always wanted in gamedev you'll find a job in 2 weeks” thing everyone seems to genuinely believe#turns out every studio on earth is looking for Seniors and Leads or 3D animators that turn out to be 3D generalists able to do everything#from concept to every kind of model optimised for games and texturing and rigging and mocap and keyframe stuff and vfx is also nice#and I'm like “hello am animator know how to make character move. i can give them skeleton but not necessarily if in 2D”#“have a few years of experience in gamedev but got fired just before the premiere of my one title that will list me as animator”#got fired along with many others because the publisher backed out and there was no money to keep most of the artists this close to launch#so far only two studios followed through with the recruitment. one makes casino games and asked me 3 questions through mail#they wanted to know why im looking for a job. have I heard about them before and how much I wanna earn. also added that my personality#should shine through my answers. sure xd. the other is a mocap studio and they want me to do a test. in software I last used 5 years ago#and its mocap which I dont like and know almost nothing about how to do it#and I WANNA DRAW. I made a disaster of a cleric to replace Cayden in the old party and Im itching to draw him properly#also there is secret satan and a whole queue of scenes from recent sessions#including the lase one when Cayden was possessed by an ancient wizard (?) for a few seconds and now has mild ptsd#there were such cool visuals there because he was connected to a tentacle that pierced the back of his neck and his eyes went black#and I had to fight the party from that moment. hit them once with a big fire damage spell and then passed a save. and then failed again#fortunately the party destroyed the artifact that did the posessing and it ended. but my boy simultaneously experienced some cosmic horror#beyond his comprehension. and kinda saw his own hands casting fire at his friends. all while he was fighting in his head with some tentacles#and being watched by first disembodied black eyes and then by a shadowy figure#now he has weird nightmares of more cosmic horror and gets uneasy if he looks at the night sky for too long ;o;#I also have a drawing of the party celebrating their promotion to captains and like 3-4 sketches and one other big scene#in which Cayden has a romantic tension moment with another character while casting prot from evil on them to save them from mind control#also I have a commission to finish that a friend paid for LAST NOVEMBER#but that mocap studio is waiting for this test for so long now I have to do it if its the last thing I do in my life
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unforth · 1 year ago
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So in light of yesterday, I'm bringing this post from April back, but I especially want to focus on the tag essays people have graciously and informatively shared.
The vast majority of the reblogs on this post have come from Chinese and Chinese diaspora people and many of them have written about their experiences in the tags.
I'm putting these out in screen caps because I really REALLY need all my fellow white people who didn't feel this was worth reblogging to see how prevalent this is. It's not about the one post from yesterday, though that was an egregious example (which, as far as I can tell, has now been deleted). This is about EVERY SINGLE DAY in these fandoms, all the little things the white-majority US-majority fandom as it is on Tumblr constantly say with zero self awareness and a "teehee well I'm not a racist so clearly what I said can't have been racist" attitude. Please, PLEASE, my fellow white people, read all these tags and see how much genuine harm is being done to other people by this casual disregard and also the flagrant disinterest that means that instead of my tags being full of white people going, "oh, I didn't realize, I'll try to do better!" they're instead full of this:
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I don't know what I can say or do to get more of white Western danmei fandom to take this seriously but I guarantee I'm not going to shut up about it until I force people to listen. I actually had MORE screen caps but tumblr mobile capped me at 10. Read these outpourings of pain, of grievance, of grieving, of exhaustion, of regret, of frustration, of anger.
Listen to the voices of Chinese and Chinese diaspora fans!
Do better, white danmei fandoms.
I've debated multiple times doing something like cataloging racist microaggressions I see in the danmei tags and making a post about it. I generally see at least one a day, and I block the worst offenders. But in the end I'm a white USAdian and it's really not my place. I'm sure I don't even catch them all.
It's a real issue and I've seen a lot of anecdotal evidence that it drives Chinese and Chinese diaspora fans out of participating in Westernized Tumblr danmei fandom, and that's utterly unacceptable.
One of the most common ones I see is how people talk about the character names. For example:
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[Image ID: screen cap of a text post. It reads: "This all came about when I was looking at SVSSS memes on Ao3 and went like "My friends nor coworkers would get heads or tails of what in the world these alphabet smash assortment mean let alone know that they're referencing Soecific individuals or novels." End ID]
THIS IS A MICROAGGRESSION. For fuck's sake, people, acting like the names are ridiculous, incomprehensible, outside of what "friends and colleagues" could comprehend, is RACIST AS FUCK. And I see people say stuff like this constantly.
"But I only meant I was struggling--" THEN WHY DID YOU ASSUME OTHER PEOPLE WOULD STRUGGLE THE SAME WAY? STILL RACIST
"But I could say that about the abbreviations in any--" BUT YOU SAID IT ABOUT THIS FANDOM SPECIFICALLY AND CONTEXT FUCKING MATTERS AND IN THIS CONTEXT IT'S RACIST.
"But it was on my personal blo--" LOOK IF YOU WANT TO BE RACIST ON YOUR PERSONAL BLOG I CAN'T STOP YOU BUT IF YOU TAG ORIGINAL POSTS INTO MAIN FANDOM TAGS THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WILL SEE YOU AND KNOW YOU ARE RACIST.
The person who posted the above, when I said it was a microaggression, demanded to know how. So, for them and everyone else in this fucking fandoms, I present what any of them could have learned by googling the term. The definition of microaggression:
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[Image ID: a dictionary entry for the term "microaggression." It reads: "noun. A comment or action that subtle and often unconsciously or unintentionally expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member if a marginalized group (such as a racial minority)." End ID]
What that screen cap says about names is literally the textbook definition of a microaggression.
Chinese names are just names. The way Chinese sounds is just the way a language sounds. Cultivation is inherently based in Eastern culture and cannot be completely divorced from that context even for a cute AU. I'm so tired of seeing posts saying things like "MXTX just stole the plot of (insert Western myth/folktale/fable here)". Do yall realize how fucking racist you're being? Do yall realize how fucking racist even I've probably been by accident because I'm also a dumb white USAdian?
I've been holding this post in for like a year, but the person who posted that screen cap, who doubled-down by posting a non-apology to all the MXTX main tags, and who acted like I'd said something insane when I told them it was a microaggression...they're apparently my last fucking straw.
DO BETTER, WHITE WESTERN DANMEI FANDOM. We all need to learn and listen and knock it the fuck off already. Me included.
Please, please listen when people say "check yourself." Seeing this stuff everyday is exhausting even for ME and I'm not even in the marginalized group. Chinese people (including diaspora) who stay in the fandom here despite the constant deluge are strong as fuck and they do not deserve this and, as a white person, I'm so so sorry white people are like this.
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fmhobeus · 8 months ago
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jjk men and their red flags
a/n: i'm feeling problematic :> tell me what u think (agree/disagree/add more?) this is all for shits n giggles !! non sorcerer au kinda
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kento nanami — (over)protective
but like... to the point where it feels like he's treating you like a child! he doesnt like to see you sweat or even work at all for that matter. he loves it when you cook but has bought covers for all the knifes. if he sees a burn on your hand get ready for a 10 minute long lecture. if you accidentally fall he wont let you get up for atleast 3 days to help you ""heal."" it's almost like he doesnt trust you to take care of yourself :') he probably has like 3 separate first-aid kits everywhere.
suguru geto — emotionally unavailable
i feel like this is explainable to his character (sort of.) i dont think that he'd make you feel isolated at all, he's be an amazing listener and probably memorizes every word you say. he listens to you rant and even trauma dump with insane patience. but at some point it feels as though you hardly know him. he's talk to you a lot but very little of it is personal and you hardly know what he's thinking because his ass is not tell you. he also unintentionally distances himself from people from time to time. this applies to you too and you can feel him getting emotionally distant sometimes. it isnt something he does knowingly but it sure ass hell bothers you.
satoru gojo — very clingy and needy
this nigga. he is so utterly clingy. and at first it's perfectly fine, even appreciated by you. you still love him like crazy of course but it is just overwhelming. he is like a child most of the time, he need you around him and is always accompanying you wherever you go, and he expects you to do the same. he also doesn't believe in "me time" because why would you feel better when you're away from him: (? want to hang out with your friends? what do you need them for: (? he's right there. he is also physically incapable of listening but boy is he good at making up.
toji fushiguro — controlling
he is so controlling omfg. it's usually subtle but sometimes he will outright just say no to things he doesnt like, not caring if you like them. it gets to the point where he actually starts to change your personality. he is very caring and that's his justification for this typa stuff. it is usually harmless stuff but he gets paranoid often. he doesnt let you wear miniskirts out if you're not with him. he doesn't let you befriend people he thinks are into you. he barely lets you buy stuff on your own, he usually gifts you whatever it is youre into at that moment. borderline turned on by fear and you being dependent on him.
choso kamo — has no social life outside you
pretty self explanatory. he doesnt have many friends outside you and isn't interesting in making them either. total loser. so taking him out to events, he probably doesnt interact much and chooses to look at you the entire time, which annoys your friends. he answers their questions pretty bluntly. he's never down to have people over and lowkey hates when you are.
hiromi higuruma — workaholic
also self explanatory. he leaves early, comes home late. you barely see him on the weekdays. sometimes he goes as far as ignoring your calls when in between cases. he calls you periodically but has to have an alarm set to remind him. he loves you very very deeply but is just used to working non stop T_T
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redcherrykook · 4 months ago
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── .˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ TENSION DEGREE 01
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College roomate!Jungkook x college roomate!reader- fwb 2 Lovers
You find yourself having to share your room with a very sexually active medical science major who so happens to fancy you. Good thing he´s as charming and spontaneous as you, leading to many crazy parties and places you probably should not be hooking up at. When Jungkook started ignoring all his booty calls after accidentally calling someone by your name, unable to fuck away the thought of you, he knew he was cooked. Would he really leave his playboy antics for that sweet company of yours?
series- one!
content: mild slow burn- fwb2l, roomates, mutual pining, player jungkook that falls devoted to reader, cocky!JK, Confident!reader, psychology major reader, banter, parties, lots of smut (duh)
episode- warnings: mention of weed, drugs, alcohol, the word slut
Taglist: @khadeeeeej @ot7stansthings @whoa-jo @smoljjks @stvrlighytt @nono13bnd @jungshaking @junniesoleilkth @deepikhaprakash @rockstryoon @tatamicc @jjeonjjk7 @kookieandjoonberries @jcrl99 @httpjeonlicious @wnteraezz @aphrodyteeth @miniesjams32 @emojkoo @katie-tibo @user-190811 @massivebearharmony @hoseokteardrop @hoseoksluv89 @hoseoksluv90
────୨ৎ────
"I dont know Jungkook isn't this a little too much?" The mirror in front if you reflects back a clear imagine of you in a very short- barely ass covering- black mini dress.
The occasion for a beautiful, tight black mini dress that ties up in the back with pink silk ribbon, that also has your chest practically spilling out?
Another party your roomate drags you too.
Okay, maybe not drag.
Over the proximity of five months, your charming roomie had become a good friend.
You aren't even sure how it started, maybe the bickering, countless sexual jokes, his ego clashing with yours on the daily or purely that you've spend so much time in the shared dorm,
But Jungkook definitely knew how to match your energy.
From door-dashing food when both of you got high out of your minds, studying for hours together and increasingly stressing each other out to more crazy things, like running from the cops after doing fire crackers in an abandoned building.
You just matched each others freak perfectly.
"If too much means looking sexy then yes, way too much. But you know, nothing to be ashamed of" he answers your previous question, leaning against the doorframe with his muscular arms crossed over his chest.
You shake your head, deciding to just go with the dress.
"Alright, lets go. Who's driving?" He gazes down into your eyes as you walk to the doorframe, heels clicking on the floor with each step.
A small smirk forms on his face, "No one, its a dorm party. Let's both get wasted"
Usually, Jungkook and you agreed that one person always stays sober, to drive back and take care of the other person if something happens.
"I don't wanna drink much Kook, but you let loose eh?" smacking his firm chest, a small giggle leaves your lips.
In return, his eyes go to your chest, pressed together tightly and in perfect view for the taller male to look down into.
His eyes wander back up to your face, every time you giggled it made him want to tease you more
"Sure bunny, but I gotta keep an eye on you if you look this good" the smug look on his face makes you want to scream,
So does the nickname,
It started randomly, kind of
You mentioned that bunnies are your favorite animals, hugging the pink, soft bunny plushie to your chest back when Jungkook and you went to get some stuff for the apartment,
You couldn't help but stop at the sight, plushies always make your heart melt.
He still remembers how soft you looked, adimiring the small plushed animal.
He decided that day to call you bunny, saying that it just suited you,
He also bought you that plushie
You roll your eyes at his teasing comment, looking up into his eyes with a innocent look,
Not failing to notice how good his lip ring looks as he plays with it slightly.
"Oh will you? I think you're just gonna go fuck some random girl again, leave me all alone"
Instinctively, he leans down with the same smug smile still placed over his face.
"Awh.. is bunny jealous? Don't worry, i'll make it quick this time" he winks, patting your head in an effort to mock you
Without getting the chance to say something back, he turns around, walking to the front door with a small laugh leaving his lips.
You decide it's for the better to just walk out with him.
Over the course of these last months, you aren't the only one that got to know Jungkook,
Many, many girls around campus have learned about him in possibly the only way you haven't,
Which is during sex.
It's to no surprise that a very physically attractive, smart and charming guy like Jungkook has girls swooning over him left and right.
Arguably, the fact that he sleeps around quite a lot also shouldn´t come as a surprise.
It did however, take some time to get used to hearing his moans through your paper thin walls,
Sure you were fine with sleeping on the couch like once a week,
Given the fact that you would have to be in the same room, a couple meters apart otherwise.
Sleeping on the very comfy living room couch isn't what bothered you at all,
More so, hearing him tell these girls all sorts of things, hearing his groans and the sound of skin slapping in every lewd way possible.
"You're such a slut"
"Just like that yeah?"
To hear the bed ramming against the wall which each grunt,
Just to go to sleep there the next day, like nothing happend.
It took some time to get used to it.
Get used to the slick running down your inner thighs when you could hear his sounds of pleasure,
Opting for soundproof headphones instead to avoid the need to do something about the way you felt.
Get used to him sending each and every one away after, sometimes crying, explaining that he was honest from the start.
He always told the girls, or so he said he would, that he's just sleeping with them for fun, just once.
One single time only.
Jungkooks has never been the relationship type so he claims,
"I just haven´t really felt more than physical attraction before, and I´m not dying for it either" he revealed in another cross faded open heart conversation, one of many nights.
What's worse is, getting used to him shamelessly flirting and smiling to you after,
As if you wouldn't be just another fuck to him, another girl on his long list, if you were to engage in it with him.
That thought right there, being just another one of his hookups , is precisely why you swore to never sleep with Jungkook, it would change your friendship, the one so perfectly matched.
No matter of ridiculously tempting it is.
The sexual banter would probably stop, given that he "got what he wanted" so to speak,
Even if Jungkook isn't that type of guy, it wouldn't be the same.
"This dorm is huge man what the fuck"
Between the blaring music and some familiar faces, Jungkook's big doe eyes look over the student apartment.
Significantly more spacious than the one on your own, presumably housing 3 people.
"Oh look! Chaewon's here too" you smile, immediately squeezing your way through the crowd to get to her.
"YOU CAMEEE" her bubbly voice rings as she engulfs you in a warm hug,
You laugh, embracing her in the same way she does,
"Wow you look so hot tonight" her mouth lets out a overly dramatic whistle, hands finding their way to your arms.
You smile when her lips form into a flirty smirk, eyes ranking over your figure
"You're one to talk Chae, that skirt is so cute"
It's true, Chaewon's silver mini skirt topped with her black waterfall- neckline top and gorgeous black heels makes for a perfect outfit, only adding to her already present beauty.
If there is one girl in the entire world you would wanna steal the looks from, it would have to be your best friend.
"Oh hi Jungkook" her eyes suddenly dart next to you, where Jungkook is now standing, having his decorated hand clasped around your waist.
You try to ignore how good it feels to have him close,
Chaewon shoots you a look, letting you know she immediately noticed it.
"Hey Chae. Didn't know you were coming" he smiles faintly,
You can't help but watch his eyes, hoping to see if they wander down her body like they normally would if another pretty girl stood in his vicinity.
It never made sense to you, how he hasn't slept with Chaewon yet.
She's stunning, into his looks like most girls on campus and she definitely isn't looking for something serious,
Not even at risk for begging for Jungkook to come back,
Nonetheless, he never once made a move on her.
She points to the kitchen, "I wasn't planning but, Minnie invited me. Want a drink?"
Jungkook and you nod almost perfect in sync, making her laugh and squeeze her way past more people,
You follow behind tightly, now feeling both of Jungkook's hand around your waist as you keep walking,
His breath is suddenly tingling on your neck, softly moving to your ear,
"Gotta make sure i don't lose ya' "
The sound of his voice to closely on to your skin is a sensation that makes you shiver
Every idiot would notice the heavy sexual tension between you two,
You would love to know what it feels like to feel vulnerable below him,
Having him burried inside your own sex and feeling his lips tracing your skin,
But it's of no use, you wouldn't ever give up a friend like him for one time pleasure.
"What do you want?" Chaewon snaps you out of your thoughts, the music is slightly quieter in the kitchen.
Assembled in front of you are lots of bottles, empty solo cups, crates of beer, some strange looking fruity cocktail mixes but most importantly,
A big, full bottle of vodka.
"Four shots, vodka pure please"
Jungkook laughs, leaning against the counter,
"Didn't you say you'd take it easy?" His eyebrow cocks up as he speaks,
"It´s four shots" you reply, rolling your eyes
"You're a lightweight bunny" he winks, turning back to Chaewon
"Give me a moscow mule and i'll be good"
Chaewon smiles, shaking her head as she hands you your first shot
"My pleasure guys"
Four shots quickly turn into four more, the sway of your hips in the music playing, unsure of even the current song, just feeling to good to stop
Feeling the people around you, you keep dancing, maybe stumbling at this point,
Even though you feel your head getting lighter and you're ignoring the burning hurt on your feet from constantly moving on heels,
Nothing mattered with enough shots.
Nothing until you notice that Chaewon,
Who you could feel was just beside you, right there dancing and laughing with you,
Is no where to be found.
Your feet stop momentarily, almost faling over from the sudden halt
Trying to look everywhere between the people, whipping your dizzy head around to find her sitting somewhere, maybe dancing with a guy, maybe mixing another drink
But you can't see her, instead you find the man you came with,
Sitting on a couch with a girl you know you recognize from somewhere, leaning over and whispering something into her ear
Instead of trying to think in your hazy state of mind, you legs are developing a mind on their own, walking over to said couch for who knows what reason,
He smiles at her, rubbing his larger hand over her exposed knee softly,
That's right, you recall now,
She's definitely in your social studies class.
"Kook? Have you seen Chae?" Grabbing a hold of the couch in order not to tumble forward, your words come out slightly slurred.
He removes his hand from her skin, diverting his attention to you,
He seems sober, relatively sober in comparison to your state.
"I think she went upstairs with someone, come sit down you're about to collapse" he pats the other side of where he's sitting, giving you a warm look.
"Actually, we were kind of talking? Is it okay if you sit somewhere else for now?"
Jungkook doesn't take his eyes off you, scoffing as he's standing up from the couch,
She fake smiles briefly, although her eyes look confused,
You think so at least, unable to really make out anything clearly at this point.
"Let's go bunny, we're done here tonight anyways"
With that, you giggle, consumed by the liquor in your system as he escorts you out of the dorm.
Once the cold, july midnight air hits you, you can feel the hairs on your skin stand up,
Legs wabbling, weaker than they were minutes ago distracted by dancing the night away.
You can make out the sound of his laughter, scooting closer to you
"Take your heels off please i don't want you to break any bones"
There is not enough alcohol in the world to make you back down on your pride, sometimes you don't quite trust even your own words,
Like right now,
"No kook i- 'lll be finee" your eyes roll as you begin walking,
"Other direction bunny"
"Right, i knew that"
He shakes his head, wrapping his beautifully painted arm around your naked shoulders, making sure that you really don't go breaking any bones.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
"Remind me why i drank again" your groans catch the attention of Jungkook standing in the kitchen.
Being awake from the sensation of a pounding headache isn't exactly pleasant, even worse when you feel dirty from not having showered the night before.
Automatically, your aching feet take you to the kitchen for a glass of water,
"I thought you died, its literally 2pm" he says while stirring the big pot placed on the counter,
You lean over curiously,
"What'cha making?"
Jungkook grabs two bowls, filling the first one up and sliding it over to you.
"Hangover soup of course, look at your state miss" he puts a spoon in the bowl before pinching your nose,
You punch his arm lightly, inhaling the delicious scent of the boiling hot soup bowl in front of you,
"Thank you kook. What about you? No hangover?"
"Nah. After i saw you taking your sixth shot i figured it's better if someone is stable enough to find the way home" he laughs softly while filling his own bowl.
"Awhhh you're such a sweetheart" you tease, making a pouty face at him, just to piss him off.
He shakes his head, sitting down at the living room table to begin eating a very late breakfast.
With a birdsnest in your hair and the smell of a party, maybe eating is allowed to come second.
"Gonna shower first i feel gross" your arms stretch over your head while you yawn,
There is no state of embarrassment Jungkook hasn't seen over five months, looking like a hot mess doesn't phase you anymore.
He eyes you up and down, a fake judging look in his eyes.
"You smell gross too"
You roll your eyes, "That's why im showering now idiot" you shout from inside the bathroom, already having walked your way over there as he talked.
Ah, it felt so nice to stand under the warm water,
To rinse yourself from the smell of sweat and alcohol and replace it with vanilla,
Feeling the headache slowly fade into the background.
To comb through your wet hair, making it soft with a hair mask.
To step out, dry yourself off and slip into fresh clothes.
"Wait"
You look around the bathroom, wrapped in a tiny towel over your half wet and naked figure,
Noticing that you failed to bring new clothes inside the bathroom, having been too occupied with showering fast to go and eat Jungkook's brunch.
"Jungkook!" You shout, hoping he can hear,
"Yeah?" He shouts back, still sitting at your dining table, kind of expecting the worst.
Usually when you shout his name like that it´s never good.
"I forgot my clothes! Can you bring me some?"
He gets up immediately, sighing in relief "What do you need?"
You think for a second, of course he's seen your laundry before, you gave up on separating the clothes long time ago.
However, you made sure to always keep the more.. sexy underwear in your care.
"Nevermind i"ll get it myself" you shout again, at which he groans
"I'm literally on my way, give me three minutes"
And so he does, walking into your guy's room, to open your side of the closet.
Grabbing a random shirt and a pair of joggers, then reaching down to the underwear drawer like it's second nature to him.
He rummages through the unorganized pile of socks and bra's, to find a pair of boyshorts he's seen about two billion times before.
Until he stops in his tracks, stumbling across something that made him bite his lip softly.
He grabs the pair of white, lacy panties that he's just discovered. A little silver heart pendant in the front, barely any material that isn't see through.
His mind runs quickly, thinking about you with nothing but these panties on.
His physical atrraction to you isn't a secret to him either,
Then again, he is attracted to practically any girl.
"What's taking so long i'm fucking freezing" you shout, still inside the bathroom,
Praying that he isn´t inspecting your lingerie.
He shakes his head, deciding to tease you just a little, hiding the panties inside the shirt he chose.
When you hear the footsteps approaching outside the bathroom, you open the door just enough to stick your arm outside.
"Thanks koo" you say while he hands you the clothes, a small smirk already creeping it's way up his face at the thought of your face when you see them,
And the fact that that's what's gonna be underneath your sweats once you walk out.
Finally, you take the clothes in hand, already annoyed when you can't find any underwear,
"Don't tell me he didn´t get me any" you sigh to yourself,
Until,
"This annoying little-",
The pair of your precious white panties falls to the floor.
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lylianrae · 4 months ago
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A list of all the things I have manifested ⋆˚⟡˖ ࣪
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We manifest everything in our lives btw - the good and the bad which is why I will be including both to prove that the law does not discriminate. If you can successfully become poor, you can most definately become rich with the same ease because everything is just a state.
Long hair
AHH this is one of my favourite manifestations. Ever since I was young I had a weird bob with a fringe (often crooked) and I wanted long hair like all the other girls (lmaoo) but my mum was strict so she didn't let me grow it out. Although I didn't know about manifestation back then, every new year and birthday I would wish for long hair and I would pretend I was a princess with butt long hair. Guess what, somewhere along the line, my mum let me grow it out and now I have butt length hair (don't really know what to do with it tho </3).
As all kids do, I went through an emo phase where I chopped off like half of my hair like 4 years ago. I literally grew back 7-8" of hair within a month because my parents got too mad. I knew about manifestation here so I just assumed my hair always grows unaturally fast. Same with when I cut bangs, they grew past my chin within a couple of weeks.
Manifesting my way into a private school
Honestly this just shows that you dont need 2430430 hours of working on your self concept to manifest. Literally so many celebs, including Marylin Monroe (the queen), manifested their fame with awful self concept. Likewise, here I was possibly going through the worst time of my life back then. I would wake up at 8 am and start studying and end at 11 pm despite being only 10 at the time. I was so freaking stressed and envious of all the other children and went into a depressive spiral where my two options were pass or die. I didn't even have enough practice and I cried my self to sleep on most nights. Anyways, when i did the exam I was deathly calm and even after the exam I was apparently so chill so my parents thought I failed.
I literally left 9 questions on one paper but throughout the summer, everytime I found a dandelion I would make a wish and imagine digging a tunnel to the examiners room where I secretly change my answers into the right ones (lmfao my tiny 10 yr old brain - idek how it worked). Anyways my results were sent back to me a month later on a random October evening and I got a really high mark. Even after 7 years of going to this school I havn't met anyone who has gotten a mark higher than mine.
Curly hair / straight hair
Sigh. We always want things we don't have. When I was younger I had really straight hair like 1A asian hair but when I was like 10, I really wanted curly hair and I would try to curl it often. After a few months, I manifested a curling iron and my hair literally became naturally curly like right after a wash it would curly af when before it was dead straight. Naturally I grew bored of it and I wanted my straight hair back and for ages I began overcomplicating the law and struggled to manifest it. It was only recently when I actually let go of the 3D that I manifested the silky, shiny straight hair.
Social life?
This is also a funny one, just shows how easily you can manifest. So back in 2021 after lockdown I felt so lonely and felt so left out of my friendship group so after a few months I began stressing myself out and spiraling for like 30 minutes, sobbing to myself about how I was so lonely and how nobody loved me (💀). Anyways it became reality, I found myself uncomfortable in many social situations and found myself becoming forgotten far more easily. I don't really remember the details but it was so bad that I think I accidently manifested social anxiety (oh well we still up tho).
However I am a loa girly so I found myself listening to popularity subliminals and slowly (but surely) my mindset change from having no friends to being the most popular girl in the year. Like no joke I became friends with like 3 people from different social circles so at lunchtime we had to join up like 3 different tables so we can all sit together. Overall I got myself 20+ close friends and even my ex friends began to admire me although it had ended badly. Even now, when someone says something thats untrue - for example saying that they are dumb when they are not, they would be like "ahaha so its like when Rae (me) says she has no friends, the whole school knows who Rae is".
Clear skin
This was sort of in the beginning of my loa (law of attraction back then) journey, I just randomly found out what subliminals were and was still quite new to everything. Now I don't even understand how it happened but I had busted some capillaries under my skin and it looked like small red viens under my skin and bro I was freaking out at the time. One night I was like just, I had enough, I'm going to get myself better skin and so I listened to a sub once for 3-4 days and on like the 4th day, my cheeks began to heat up which was odd and the next day it was 90% gone. Just like magikkkk.
Desired university?
Guys. Feeling is the secret. Don't you ever forgot that - not feeling as in emotions but rather the feeling of knowing. I had 2 entrance exams to do to apply for my universities and it was a stressful time where I wasn't getting enough sleep and wasn't eating enough simply because I didn't have the time. Like I come home from school and would have 3-4 hours of homework, then I need to revise for tests and then the remaining time would be spent on the entrance exams. Each past paper took 2 hours and I have around 13s per questions and I was already struggling on time. Anyways, I began to hate them and I would often complain to my mum saying things like "My score got even lower!!" or "I hate it so much" or "My head hurts / eyes hurt".
Guess what? Not only did I see my score decrease over time but I also made such a silly mistake on the most important entrance exam which I needed for 4/5 of my universities. I left a question and completely forgot to mark on the answer so when I finished the section I realised I had one more space on the sheet with like 10s to spare. I didn't have enough time to go back and fix it and lemme say that I did so badly in the test. Even while waiting for results I was just like "ah it would be a miracle if I scored above this bla bla".
I got the score back and it was so freaking bad like I did not stand a chance at my university at all. However, I started to affirm for a place and to my utter shock and surprise my desired university reached out and offered me an interview. I knew people who had like scores which were 50% better than mine and they still got rejected pre-interview. Anyways I began stressing about the interview and the results of the whole thing and boom. I got rejected 3 days after my birthday lmaoo. But its okay because I'm reapplying and I learnt so much more. I'm redoing the entrance exam and my score is a loooot better than it ever was last year.
A key take away would be thoughts are the result of the state you are in. Your dwelling state manifests and I was focusing on the unrealness and the difficultly of getting into this uni and thats what manifested. At the time I was heartbroken and literally went through the 7 stages of grief and spent so many months trying to revise it only for me to focus on the 3D. Just know that everything is done in imagination and it appears in the 3D as a result.
Photographic memory
So this is also something I had manifested before I actually knew about loa but the takeaway here is that manifestation is always instant. I was around 11 reading a random book on my tiny kindle and the book was on how to develop a good memory and I was like ah that'll be useful. Anyways later in the car, I asked my dad about photographic memory and he sort of explained it to me. I just assumed that I have that and I told him I do. He just laughed at me and said thats something that you have to train for and I was not impressed lmao. Inside my tiny brain, I was just like nope, I already have photographic memory and I dropped that thought. Let me tell you, my memory is actually photographic and has helped me out on so many occasions like my brain just takes pictures of things.
Learning fast
This is also something I did before I knew loa, I was just always wondering why the other kids couldn't grasp concepts as easily as I did. Literally in every lesson I would be like ah I learn so fast and now I am actually blessed with the ability to grasp complex subjects so fast. A favourite example of mine would be when I was obsessed with music but to take it to a higher level you need to be able to play an instrument. I couldn't at the time and my teacher told me the requirements a week before the actual deadline. I have never actually played piano with both hands but one day I sat down and worked through the entire song (fur elise by Beethoven) which is a grade 5 (I think) and it normally takes people months / weeks to learn. I learnt the whole thing in 3 days and from then on, I could play piano like I had been doing for ages. Again the memory thing was so helpful because I never actually used any sheet music, I learnt it off a youtube video and I remembered every single note I needed to play.
Hourglass body + 22" waist
This was a couple of years ago when I actually didn't understand loa. Anyways long story short, I would do a 3 minute workout and then flex infront of the mirror all day (💀) and be like omg I have abs. Overtime, I actually got so skinny everyone around me kept pointing it out to me and my mum got so concerned that she took me to the doctor like 4 times. It was so funny, I would loose like 2-3kg overnight and my parents would have to buy better fitting uniform.
Bigger boobs
This was also back in the day (2021?) when I didn't understand how to manifest things easily af. I had an A cup but I wanted better boobies and I listened to like 2 subs for a week and I went to a B cup. But I just assumed I have a bigger cup size recently and I just skipped C and went to D+ (haven't measured in a long time).
I'm not done but I'm tired now bye bye
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mrfoox · 2 years ago
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Wtf is my fascination with this little freak.... Hes just a dude but I'm so intrigued, I'm tired
#miranda talking shit#Its been two years but i still dont understand him so im guessing thats why#Tbf we didnt become closer until a year ago or something so yeah. But since day one i just felt like it was something with him and now im#Frustrated. Hes literally just a dude. Yet my brain find him so fascinating. I know i in general am very interested in people i like#But this guy man... I think it might be because i can understand him and thus cant predict him? My brain does love a mystery.#I mean i had an fairly intense period of 3-6 months where i was super fascinated by fabian. I still kinda am but now i think#I understand how he works over all so i do not feel the intense need to ask him all kinds of things and analyze? Bc now i have an decent#Idea of how he works. Meanwhile this little freak is almost the opposite of me in everything and i just want to study him. I think in a way#He reminds me of myself at least in the way of 'dealing' with mental problems etc. Or rather my past self. So i want to challenge him to do#It differently. I dont think i have an savior conplex or something when it comes to him bc i do basically not... Tell him to change?#I dont think i could change him. So thats not what my fascination comes from... But holy shit i just want to talk with him about everything#Also probably why i like him that he will answer any questions i ask. No topic has been bad or too weird and i appriciate that in others#But nah. Never been this intrested in someone whos this diffrent than me ever. I always need to have something major in common for a strong#Intrest. But here its like... We are both introverts ... And both social actors/pretenders... Otherwise our similarities are pretty small#I really wish i knew exactly why my brain is so intrested in him . I think its my hyperfixation being activated unfortunately.#Technically he have a lot of things/traits i dont like? But still i dont find him annoying or something?#Many things i dont agree or have the same opinion as him on. But i just find it refreshing ? Maybe its bc i basically havent known anyone#Like him. Hes not the type of person i attract or even put my time into i think. That's why ive told him we'd not be friends if we didn't#Meet this way. I would probably not have wanted to talk to him and i cant see him wanting to talk to me. Especially if we met when younger#No way teen Miranda would not go near him iajdjfjskskd id like to discuss this with him but im scared to scare him and scared to learn#Something bad or him not caring for me or something. I know he doesnt care about many things so id not be suprised but#Fuck this guy. I wamt to obsess over a video game instead where there are wikis to read /:
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