#there's probably more but it's hard to tell

[drchucktingle]

how are you human?

so many interesting comments and thoughts on my post saying buds should consider not coming up to strangers in marginalized groups and saying 'how are you a real person that actually exists?'. i will point out this: despite my VERY gentle tone a few buds said i was having a 'meltdown' for even mentioning it

others said i was being too serious for someone who is ‘not a real person’. so if you would any more evidence of what it is like to be a buckaroo like myself there it is. every day, autistic folks who may seem ‘weird’ are bombarded with messages and comments and implications that they are fundamentally not human beings

sometimes it is outright and blatant like the comments on last post saying ‘well why are you getting mad? you are not even real’ and sometimes it is in the very subtle ways that folks use language when they talk to us. there is huge difference between ‘how do you exist?’ and ‘i am glad you exist.’

anyway, something that i think many people who have not lived this experience dont seem to understand is i KNOW the poster who said ‘how are you a real person that actually exists’ probably meant it as a compliment. that is THE POINT of why i am taking a moment out of my trot to gently and anonymously let them know how it might feel to be on other end of something like this as a queer or autistic or otherwise marginalized buckaroo. it is obviously not their intent to actually hurt someone, so i am letting them know

maybe because queerness and autism are not physically apparent it is hard to explain, but imagine going up to very tall or very short person and saying ‘cant BELIEVE you are real’ as a compliment. not a great way to treat others. on my original post, an indigenous author chimed in with their own experience and feelings similar to my own. a woman who said she was very tall told her story. point is, while i do not have their experience, what i am saying has a universal thread for 'othered' folks

point is: i UNDERSTAND there is this sort of exaggerated or ironic (or maybe even sometimes very literal) language around fandom to say things like ‘how are you a human?’ to creators, but since it is not your intent to hurt, i think you might want to know how that feels to marginalized buckaroos sometimes.

obviously you can say anything you want. i do not hold it against you. also, if you think ‘oh no, did i say something like this to chuck at a convention? i am so embarrassed' then DO NOT WORRY i promise you buckaroo you are just fine. i present myself in a way that is unusual by definition, so i have pretty thick skin about this type of thing and a lot of patience. MANY buds start off thinking i am ‘a joke’ and then become fans over time and i am glad to trot beside them and prove love is real.

however there are other autistic or queer or marginalized buckaroos with smaller platforms who hear this just as much as me, so i think it is important to say it loudly and maybe together we can work on making a very slight shift in the way we speak to the ‘others’ in our lives

we do not NEED to let subtle dehumanization slip into our language. in some cases it has been called ‘micro aggressions’ but i think buds dont often consider what that means for COMPLIMENTS. ultimately, telling marginalized people YOU ARE SO AMAZING YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY EXIST may seem very fun and silly on the surface and for some folks it probably feels that way, but for others it can feel like a reminder of the broader doubt about their humanity. you can just say ‘YOU ARE AMAZING’ without the reminder of the many times autistic or queer or marginalized folks are told in a very serious and pointed way (like comments on the last post) ‘YOU ARE SO WEIRD THAT I HAVE DECIDED YOU ARE NOT REAL’

buckaroos can take this information and apply it to their interactions, or they can ignore it, that is totally fine. we are all trotting our own trots and proving love in our own way and thats okay bud, HOWEVER i feel like it is important to at least let folks know, even if that means getting told i am having a ‘meltdown’. i think it is important to have complex or difficult conversations if it will prove a little more love in the long run. THANK YOU FOR READING BUCKAROOS. i am honored to trot forward with you can tackle this kind of thing with you, and honored you buckaroos have created such an amazing space with me to pull apart these kind of feelings. THIS IS PROOF THAT LOVE IS REAL LETS TROT

[pianocat939]

Yandere Player 230 (Thanos) Headcanons

(Since at the time of this post I finished episode 5, I'll only include the first 2 games, but I'll probably finish the season in like a day or two, so I'll probably write a part 2 later)

All my headcanons of Squid Game from here on out are the players trying to keep MC from being killed. For non-players, I'll think of something else.

Part 2

Tw: aggressive behaviour (slight violence), [Murder is probably gonna be the next part]

Probably notices you because one: you pretty. Especially when 196 dies right away. Before the game even starts though, he's already trying to flirt. He tries so hard to glorify himself so that maybe you'd be interested in him.

I say 100% what would pull him in even more is if the reaction from you turns out to be either: "No thanks" or "???". Like you're just trying to get the money. This Thanos dude is weird.

As soon as the first game starts and player 196 dies, he immediately focuses all of his attention on you. Other than winning the game of course.

Let's you lose your footing and start to fall when the doll the turns around. But just in the perfect moment, he hugs you from behind, keeping you pressed against him. He snickers, staring at you.

"Senorita, don't die yet. I haven't you made you obsess over me."

You know how high this mf is. He will try to get you to gallop with him lmao. He be like "Yippeee"

As you make the finish line. He pulls your cheek, laughing like a psycho.

"You're so cute. Don't worry. Thanos will destroy the evil with his infinity stones."

During voting, he tries to convince you to vote blue. He wants you on his team. He wants to keep playing this hellhole of a game with you. He's a psycho, he knows that.

If you don't, he'll just be clingy af and stick to you as much as possible. He literally doesn't give a single fuck what everyone else thinks. He just wants you to acknowledge him and maybe show interest.

During meal time, he probably tries to feed you or get you to feed him. He probably pokes you with the spoon until you eat.

"Come onnnn, you need to eat if you wanna survive with me, yeah?"

During sleep time, istg 10000% he will try to get into your bed when you're asleep. He doesn't care if it wakes you up. He just wants to see your reaction. He would try to convince you to sleep beside him too. He doesn't really care if it's cramped or not.

He definitely will offer his pills to you. Nothing's better than making sure you're not panicked and getting yourself killed.

During game 2, he'll pull you into his team along with Namgyu. He'll let you pick whatever game you're good at. He'll definitely make sure you're next to him. Preferably on the edge so you're only connected to him.

"You stay next to me. You're good at 딱지 No?"

During the 2nd voting, he'll be much more aggressive with trying to get you to continue the game. If you choose no, he'll be much more pissy and follow you everywhere. If you choose yes, you'll just feed into his interest with you. He'll hug you or hold your arm.

During the 2nd night, he'll just pull you to his mattress and not let you leave. He's surprisingly very perceptive. He won't hesitate to squeeze your arm a little tighter to make sure you stay.

"Don't leave little mouse. Wouldn't want to get stabbed to shreds by someone, right?"

He likes showing off his raps to you. He doesn't care if someone thinks he's stupid or weird.

"It's Thanos yeah? Wouldn't wanna kill yourself yeah?"

��————————————————————————

I'm sorry if my grammar is literally all over the place. If you couldn't tell, I am down bad for Thanos (and his actor being T.O.P. doesn't help).

- Celina

[soft-beams]

omg wait r having a small childish crush on Sevika and Vi being jealous is actually soooo cute. She would probably always try to one up her around r

reader having a childish crush on sevika is just so!!! like this idea still rings in my head!!! i feel like reader would see sevika for the first time and have all these confused feelings because sevika's so hot and strong and wow did you see her break that guy's nose, vi?

and vi, in the beginning, wouldn't really think anything of it because yeah, she lowkey admires sevika too. she's cool and amazing and yeah, she's hot.

BUT THEN vi starts to realise her feelings for you and then starts to see how you behave around sevika. like how you'd get all flustered whenever sevika pays attention to you, how you'd get all starry-eyed when sevika practically does anything. and vi starts to feel...jealous because she's still young and she's not as strong as sevika. she isn't anywhere like sevika, and it makes her feel all weird and bad on the inside.

so vi tries to prove herself to you by trying to be better than sevika. if sevika's training for 2 hours, vi is training for 4. if sevika ends up in a brawl, then vi's in there, kicking more asses. if sevika throws back a drink of hard liquor, vi's throwing back two except it's not hard liquor bc vander won't let her near the stuff.

it gets to the point where sevika has to ask vi what her deal is, and vi looks over at you who's joking around powder, sevika rolls her eyes.

"don't try too hard, kid," sevika tells her, smirking. "i'm hardly a threat. especially since a) i'm way older than you and b) sunshine there looks at you like you shit flowers."

vi doesn't believe it, until one day when vi catches you looking at her like she hung the very stars in the sky. when you're caught, you look away quickly, all adorably shy...a lot different from how you react with sevika...

ah.

[teaboot]

Growing up, how was your relationship with the fundamentals of conscious existence?

My earliest memory of what I would call self-awareness occurred spontaneously in the middle of my fourth birthday party, where I suddenly became alert to my existence as a separate entity surrounded by other conscious beings.

This presented to me as not dissimilar to simply being brushed along the flow of a river- experiencing life as a serious of flashbang moments and instants and sensations, like meditating to music until the individual notes break into sounds that follow no rhythm and are only noise- no past or future, only now- and then suddenly finding yourself holding a paddle in the belly of a boat with no idea what to do next.

I remember running to the body that felt safest, who I did not recognize as anything else, and asking it who all the strangers around us were. The person that I learned was my mother told me they were my aunties and uncles, and I was being silly because I KNEW them, and why was I so shy all of a sudden?

Learning to articulate myself after that instant, I remember, was immensely frustrating. Learning your first language, as I remember it, is wuite a bit like how Ive been told recovering from brain damage feels like.

YOU know what you mean. YOU know what you're saying. But there are holes where you reach for something you know MUST be there and find nothing, and must find a way to communicate using only what you have at hand. Except there are always faces looking at you, talking down to you, asking you to do tricks for them to prove you really are a real human person.

I loved art, and I'm very good at it, but GETTING good at it was the worst. I'm told I started with scribbles at six months or so, before I could walk, and at three and four I remember being immensely frustrated that I could see in my head exactly what I wanted to produce, and I didn't know how to PRODUCE it.

And simple shit, like drawing shapes and circles, developing fine motor skills. You FULLY UNDERSTAND THE ASSIGNMENT, but your hands are soft and wobbly and don't cooperate. Getting your mouth and body to obey your directions is hellish, especially when all the appliances and furniture and installations around you are built for someone easily triple your size.

Chairs are hard to sit in when you're small and cant touch the ground. Your legs dangle and you cant scoot closer to the table, and the backrest is so far back you cant use it for support, and the table comes up past your chest so your chin is amost in your plate and your dumb clumsy hands cant hold a big spoon or fork in a way that feels natural or elegant so you end up smearing shit EVERYWHERE and getting yapped at for having your elbows on the counter.

Reading people was interesting. Most people are condescending and plastic when you're small, and you can tell when they're being saccharine and fake, but you're told the polite thing is to believe what they say and be polite back. I used to try using big sentences on purpose just to het them to leave me alone. "What a pretty girl! Can you say Hello?" was the most common ask I can recall. Id answer with the floweriest thing I could think of, usually, "I'm very well, thank you for asking, how are you?", because people only ask you interesting questions after you do well enough on their tests to prove you're people.

Being small was very tiring, and very frustrating, and becoming aware of myself in my own head probably made everything a lot worse overall.

No regrets, though. From what I can recall, life is far more enjoyable when you're aware of it occurring. Time can't slow down until you know it's there, I think

Being a baby full of instincts felt like living as a live grenade. Being a child was far harder, but more Full. More Human. A LOT more like adulthood than infancy, and I was very determined to remember that.

If any of that makes sense

[theereina]

Let Me Teach You

Pairing: Toxic Professor!Terry Richmond x Plus Size Fem Black!OC

Wordcount: +7K

Warnings: MDNI (18+) mature content, such as cursing, teasing, heavily dialogue-centered, use of pet names (Daddy, Mama, baby girl, lil' mama, pretty girl, good boy, etc.), P in V, Toxic Dom!Terry *if you squint and turn your head*, breeding kink

A/N¹: This is a single one-shot with no planned sequels.

A/N²: I'm open to critiques. I am a little 🤏🏽 sensitive about my writing. Please, don't be too harsh.🥺 Feel free to bring my attention to any typos. Divider by ME (theereina). Also, this work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than here on Tumblr). I do NOT give consent for any form of republishing or rewriting.

Masterlist: 🔥🔥🔥

ding

Shanice: wya

Me: Heading to the Eng. 2 study session for finals

Shanice: aww, you going to see bae🥰

Me: STFU!

Shanice: why you mad? you know i ain't lying

Me: Go to hell. I ain't got time for this. BYE!

Shanice: oop! k, bye hoe

As I approached the door to the classroom, I saw a sign taped on the glass. There was a message written in red.

Study session moved to the library

Oh, come on! That meant I now had to walk across campus. Reluctantly, I turned on my heels and walked toward the exit at the end of the hallway.

Opening the double doors, the winter breeze whipped me across the face. I knew my face was probably red and puffy. The tip of my nose was left stinging from the wrath of the cold. I was pissed because I had dressed way too lightly for this. I was only wearing a black T-shirt dress, thin black tights that looked like stockings, and a black and white varsity letterman jacket. At least, my furry black boots were doing a hell of a job keeping my feet warm.

10 minutes later

As I walked into the assigned study room, I was confused by it being empty. I took a seat on the third row which was closer to the back of the room.

I always felt more comfortable being as far away from the front as possible. It made it easier to get lost in the sea of students when professors and teachers wanted responses.

Placing my bag on the floor beside me, I begin to unpack my notes and final essay. Leaning over with my head facing the door, I see a pair of feet walk into view. My body tenses up because I know exactly who these brown loafers belong to. I immediately feel my heart rate quicken as I battle to calm the butterflies in my stomach.

“I guess you're the only one concerned with your final grade. I hope they know this is a proctored exam through a lockdown browser,” Professor Richmond said, walking to the front of the room.

“If they don't, they'll find out,” I laughed while sitting up. I slid my jacket off my shoulder and placed it over the back of the seat.

“You know what? I'll give them 15 more minutes, otherwise, I guess it's just you and me,” he said, winking.

I grew immediately hot. I could feel myself blushing. I didn't want him to see my face, so I quickly dropped my head.

“Fine with me,” I mumbled.

“What was that, love?” he asked, turning away from the whiteboard to look at me.

“Oh, um… I said that that was fine with me,” I said louder than before. I still didn't raise my head to look back at him.

“Ok. I hate… never mind. I'll keep my thoughts to myself,” he said, turning to the whiteboard.

“Never mind what? Speak your truth, professor. You hate what?” I asked, flipping through my notes.

“When you don't look at me while speaking. I like to know I have your attention. It lets me know if you're at least engaged,” he said, writing on the board.

“I just have a hard time with eye contact. Too much of it makes me… uncomfortable, I guess. I wish I knew that bothered you sooner,” I said, lifting my head to look at his back.

My eyes locked in on the movement of his back muscles. Through the material of his collared shirt, I could tell this man was sculpted like a God. I dropped my head and pressed my thighs together. I shouldn't be thinking about this man like this, but damn… I had been struggling with this feeling all semester.

“Especially, when it comes to you, it's not often that I meet someone with equally, if not, more striking eyes. Yours are just mesmerizing,” he said. I could hear him exhale with a shudder.

“Uh, professor… Are you okay?” I asked, looking at him.

His movements had paused as if he were lost in thought. I noticed that his grip on the dry-erase marker seemed dangerously tight.

He let out a much calmer breath than the first, “Yes.. yes, I'm fine. What about you?”

“Yes, sir,” I said, questioning if he was telling the truth. His mouth said one thing, but his body told another story.

My thoughts began to roam as I grasped that he called my eyes striking and mesmerizing. I was so used to people calling them beautiful or pretty that I was honestly stumped.

As I waited on his instructions, I lingered on the difference in his word choice. There had to be intention behind those words. You would only use those words if the person affected you, right? So, why would Professor Richmond use those words about me?

“Athena! Athena! Can you hear me?” Professor Richmond called out.

“Yeah. Yeah. I can… Shit,” I said, stopping in my tracks when I realized he was standing in front of me.

His 6’3 frame was probably the most intimidating yet sexy thing ever. His broad posture dominated the space in front of me. His musky cologne smoldering and intense— sandalwood and amber flooded my nostrils. This man's entire being was overwhelming my senses. All while silently drawing me in.

“I called your name a few times. You didn't answer me. You had me scared for a second,” he said, leaning down to look at me.

He leaned over so that his arms were propped on the table. Raising his eyebrows, he was waiting for me to recollect myself.

“You sure you're okay?” he questioned softly.

“Yes, sir. I promise. I was in my head and didn't realize you were that close,” I said, leaning back in the chair. I wanted to create as much space between us as possible.

“I'm sorry if I scared you, hun. That was never my intention. Just wanted to make sure my favorite girl was okay,” he said, placing his hand over his heart.

“I know. I'm fine. Uh…” I said, scanning around the room. I paused as I realized he was doing it again— using questionable words.

“Yeah, no one else showed up. Since it's just you and me, you might as well move closer. There's no reason for you to be way over here,” he said, motioning towards the front.

I nodded my head yes. I leaned down to grab my bag from the floor. Looking up, I see the professor has grabbed my things that were on the table. He walked to the front of the room and placed them on the table in the front row. He positioned me so that I was right in front of him.

Standing up with my bag and jacket, I walked to sit in the seat he chose. I was in no mood to argue or move seats. Hell, I probably couldn't even if I tried.

I quickly sat down and focused on the topics of the upcoming study session. I decided to ask as few questions as possible because I needed to get this over with. The thought of being alone with his fine ass for almost 2 hours… Jesus Devanté Christ help me.

1 hour and 45 minutes later

“So, what do you have planned for the rest of the day? Anything interesting?” he asked while walking behind me.

As we exited the study room, I noticed how empty the library was. As expected, the campus was becoming more and more desolate as the end of the semester drew near.

“No, sir. I'm going to check out a poetry book for a quick read. You know…. Something I can finish before they close the library for the semester,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

“Hmm… I've noticed that you seem more drawn to poetry. Your poems are honestly some of the most… insightful and beautiful ones I've read from a student in a long time. You should do something with that?” he said, walking alongside me.

“Thank you, but what do you mean by do something?” I asked, stopping to look at him.

“Publish them, Athena. You don't even have to publish all of them as a full body of work. I just want people besides me and your classmates to experience them,” he said earnestly.

I smacked my lips. “Professor Richmond, really? Don't act like you didn't see me sweating like a pig while reading them to the class!” I exclaimed.

“Of course, I did. That's why I… talked you through it,” he said, looking me up and down.

“Talked me through it is an understatement. You practically had to hold my hand each time,” I laughed into my hand.

“Yeah, I definitely had to help you find your big girl voice,” he said, rolling his eyes playfully.

“I know my voice is normally low, but you didn't have to say it like that. That was mean,” I said in a fake pout.

“Aww, I'm sorry. My bad, love. I just know you're capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. I wish I had more time to pull it out of you,” he said, biting his bottom lip.

I froze as I watched his lip settle between his teeth. My breathing hitched silently. His lips were a blessing to look at— bright pink, plump, and full. The smoothness reminded me of rose petals, intensifying my desire to want to kiss and suck on them. I yearned to know what they felt like against my lips and skin.

Snapping myself out of my lust-induced trance, I brought myself back to our current conversation. This was the first time someone other than Shanice had been so enthusiastic about my writing.

“I don't know. The thought of so many people possibly reading my thoughts scares me. I treat my poetry like diary entries most of the time,” I said, swaying from side to side.

“No pressure. This is your art we're talking about. Just consider it, okay? Actually, there's something I would like you to read if you'd allow me to make a suggestion,” he asked, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Sure. I trust your judgment,” I replied.

“Ok. Follow me,” he said, placing his hand on my lower back and guiding me through the library.

He guided me towards the section of the library labeled erotica. I was honestly a bit confused. I side-eyed the professor. Why would he bring me here?

“Ok, listen to me. Don't… umm… don't back out on me. If you do feel uncomfortable, you can walk away now,” he said, nodding at me.

“I'm fine,” I said, gesturing towards the shelf.

“That's my girl. I promise that I won't let you down,” he said, smiling as he turned to scour the shelf. I watched in awe as his fingers glided across the spines of the array of books.

Professor Richmond turned to me and handed me a book. It was small but hefty. The edges of the pages weathered from years of use. This was a sign of a well-loved book.

I looked up to find the professor staring at me. His smile was bright and wide enough to reach his eyes as they twinkled in excitement.

“A Woman in the Wild. Hmm…,” I said, turning the book over and reading the back.

From the cover and the synopsis, it was obvious this book was sexual in nature. The cover was extremely sensual yet tasteful. It was more suggestive than direct, depicting a woman holding a peach dripping in honey in front of her lower abdomen.

“It's about a woman's journey of exploring sex in her 20s. I think you'll like it,” he said, holding his hands together.

I giggled at his reaction. He looked like a kid sharing their favorite toy. “Professor Richmond is into raunchy writing, huh?” I giggled.

“Why do you sound surprised?” he questioned before moving closer to me.

“No real reason. Just that—,” I said, stopping myself. I didn't want to make Professor Richmond think I was judging him.

“No, explain. I want to know. What's wrong? You scared of me, Athena?” he questioned, pushing the book downward.

“Of course not!” I responded.

“Then, use your words. I've graded enough of your essays to know you have a helluva way with them, Ms. Athena. Come on. Don't get shy on me,” he said.

“You won't judge me?” I asked sheepishly.

“What're the kids saying, now? Oh, we listen, and we don't judge. Promise,” he said, raising his hands.

“Oh my God! Fine. You just give off nice guy vibes. I can only see you as super sweet and quiet, especially outside of class. You don't seem like the type to really be out there,” I blurted out as fast as I could.

“That's what you think of me?”

“Maybe…”

“Hmm… That's very interesting. What can I do to change that?”

“To be honest, nothing.”

“You know, honestly, I don't like being perceived. It's even worse when it's wrong.”

“Oh, um… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, Professor. I just wanted to be honest.”

“Oh, don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry for, love. Just be… be… be careful with your cute self.”

“Cute?! Professor, gone somewhere. I'm not finna play with you,” I said, playfully hitting his arm.

“What? Why? You don't think you're cute?” he questioned back.

“First of all, I know I'm cute! The problem isn't what you're saying. It's the fact that YOU'RE saying it.”

“And? So?!” he spat.

“You’re my professor. That's inappropriate, right? Like, can't you get fired for this?”

“Who's going to know? Huh? And, that's funny that me being your professor matters now,” he said, glaring at me.

“Huh?” I asked. My face contorted in confusion. What did he mean by that?

Professor Richmond’s mouth turned upward into a devilish grin.

“Maybe, next time you and Shanice decide to talk about me, you shouldn't do it outside my classroom door. That wasn't very smart. Was it?” he asked, pushing one of my loose strands behind my ear.

“Wait…”

“I think I remember you saying you wanted to know what my hands feel like wrapped around your throat, what my dick looks like when it's hard, what—.”

“Okay! I get it,” I whined. I could feel my face reddening with embarrassment. I dropped my head and began staring at my feet.

“Don't interrupt me because you got caught.”

“Boy, leave me alone!” I said, pushing past the professor. I needed to get away from this man as fast as I could.

He instantly grabs the strap of my bag, pulling me back to him.

“Boy? I'm a grown man. Don't be disrespectful, love. I don't think I deserve that,” he said as a smile began to spread.

“Whatever, professor.”

“I mean, look at how I got you running. You can't wait to get away from me,” he silently laughed.

“Running? From you? Now that's cute!” I scoffed.

“Keep playin’, and I'll show you. Nah… I'll teach you.”

“Teach me then!” I mumbled assertively. “Wait… I… I didn't mean that,” I stuttered, realizing my mistake.

I couldn't comprehend why I was all of a sudden being so bold. This was something I had never done before. Hearing myself speak like this was personally shocking.

“Hahaha, you're scared of me. Just say it,” he said, gesturing for me to walk beside him.

“Scared of what? Professor, you're probably one of the least intimidating people on campus to me. You can't be serious about all of this, right?” I probed, hoping this was all a fever dream or even a joke.

“What? You gone tell that your professor—,” he started to speak.

“Can you not? Jeez, people may hear you,” I whispered.

“Oh, so you ARE scared? Aww, so you definitely wouldn't want people to know that you want to be tied up and spanked while I—,” he began again.

I threw my hand over his mouth and quickly scanned the area around us.

“Hey!” I whisper-yelled. I looked deep into Professor Richmond's eyes, hoping he would catch the hint. I removed my hand from his mouth.

“Yeah, I heard that part, too. You and Shanice can't whisper for shit. You would've been better off just telling me,” he said smugly, shrugging his shoulders.

This side of the professor was an asshole, but… I liked it.

“Ok, so what? I said some nasty shit about you. What're you gonna do about it? Report me or something?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Nah, I got a better idea. Walk,” he demanded through gritted teeth.

He used his hand on the small of my back to guide me further into the back of the library. I couldn't believe I was letting this happen. With HIM of all people!

Once we were in a dimly lit corner, he stopped me. He stood in front of me, leaning over. “Before I touch you, I want to know that you are okay with this. There's no pressure. You can stop me at any moment, and you can leave. No hard feelings,” he said, stroking my cheek.

“I'm okay. Just a little nervous,” I mumbled as my mind began to race with a million thoughts.

The thought of being caught was my main concern. I knew this part of the library was never used or even looked at because it was where old and abandoned textbooks went to die. There were rows and rows of books before anyone would even come close to us.

“Good. I'm warning you now that I can be a tad bit aggressive,” he said, standing to his full height.

“That's fine. I like aggressive,” I said, resting my hand on his chest.

He dropped his brown leather satchel behind him. “Yeah, I figured. Turn around for me and hand me your bag,” he demanded. His voice had dropped a few octaves and was now a low rumble.

I could feel it as the sound of his voice traveled from my ears straight down to my pussy. I just knew that my leggings were ruined. I had lost all control over this situation. My brain had turned off, and my pussy had turned on.

“I want to hear you say it. Tell me what you want me to do,” he said, leaning into my ear.

The heat from his breath warmed the sides of my neck. Thinking and forming sentences were damn near impossible.

I closed my eyes and drew in a sharp breath as my nervousness took over. I knew myself too well. When I'm nervous, I become a stuttering mess.

“Hey, we talked about this. Whenever you're too nervous to speak, you close your eyes and take a deep breath. You repeat it until you’re calm enough to start, right? Because we don't rush our words out, do we?” he said, softening his tone.

His hands slid across the sides of my hips.

“Right, we don't rush. Ok, I got this,” I whispered while taking deep breaths.

“Of course you do, love. Ease into it, and take your time. I really wanna hear it from you,” he said, firmly holding my waist.

“I… umm… I want you to—,” I stuttered as I stumbled on every word.

“Think about what you want to say first. Then, slowly talk me through it. I wanna know every little detail. Do you understand?” he asked.

“Ye—. Whew. Yes, sir. I… I understand,” I replied.

“Good girl. All I want you to do is focus on telling me all your little fantasies. I don't care about how nasty or how dark they are. Say it. And, one more rule— pretend like I'm not here. Okay?” he asserted.

“Yes, sir,” I whimpered with shaky hands.

“Calm down your mind first, and your body will follow. Isn't that what I taught you?” he whispered into my ear.

I could feel him take a step back as his hands slid from around my waist. Thank God! His hands being on me was making me overwhelmingly anxious.

I shook my body as much as possible, trying to release the nerves. I focused on clearing my mind of all the negative thoughts that were coming up— this was inappropriate, he was going to laugh, and I was making a fool of myself.

I wanted to glance back at him for reassurance, but I knew he hated it when we looked at him during our oral presentations.

I inhaled a deep breath and relaxed my shoulders on the exhale. I was going to do this.

I WAS GOING TO MAKE SURE I MADE PROFESSOR RICHMOND PROUD.

“Okay….” I said slowly and evenly.

“If you are ready, proceed. Make sure your posture is engaged and your voice is both loud and direct. Got it?” he asked as his voice rumbled from a few feet behind me.

I nodded my head yes and began speaking. “I want you to choke me while playing in my pussy. I want to feel the full wrath of your hands until you leave your mark on my ass and thighs. I wanna know what your dick feels like in my hands. I wanna know what it feels like if I lick it with my tongue. I want to use my mouth to drain you until there's nothing left,” I said slowly as I vocalized all of my dirtiest thoughts.

“Ughh… Fuck, baby girl. That it?” he asked as his voice shook.

“No! I want you to fuck me until my walls remember the shape. I want you to fuck me like my body was made with only you in mind. I want to turn my brain off, and let myself just… just let you take control. I desire to please you with every part of me. I want to make you moan over and over again so that it'll be the only sound in my mind for weeks. And, when we're done, the thought of touching myself is ruined by my body remembering the way your hands felt.”

“Enough!” he grunted.

It was clear that what I said had affected the professor tremendously. Every breath he took came from his chest like thunder. He was struggling.

“Professor?” I asked, attempting to turn around.

“Call me Terry!” he grumbled.

He grabbed my shoulders to prevent me from doing so. I took that as a sign to remain still as I waited for him to say or do something. The silence was driving me insane.

Terry abruptly pulled me back into him. His chest collided with my back. I let out a loud gasp. Terry's hand flew over my mouth.

“Don't! I'll give you everything you want as long as you stay quiet. Got it, love?” he asked as his hand slowly fell from my mouth.

I shook my head yes.

“Good girl. Now, all you gotta do is focus on staying quiet and enjoying yourself. Take off your tights and hand me your panties,” he said.

“What panties?” I asked smugly.

“No panties, huh?” he laughed menacingly. I could tell he was shocked.

“None. I promise,” I said, raising my hand. I laughed at his reaction.

“Oh, I gotta see this for myself!” he said, sliding his hands around my waist.

They slowly dropped to my pussy. Using his knee, he pushed my legs open. His fingers slid over the crotch of my tights and rested between my legs. When his hands stopped moving, I knew exactly what he found— a wet and sticky mess.

My inner thighs and pussy were becoming warmer by the second. I could feel myself becoming fidgety. This man was making an absolute mess of me.

“Oh, that's nice. I hope you don't like these tights,” he whispered as he used his fingers to rip open the middle seam.

I gasped again before catching myself. I brought my hand over my mouth.

“Unless you want me to stop—,” he started.

“Mmm mmm!” I mumbled, shaking my head.

His hand rubbed up and down the slit of my pussy. Dipping his fingers between my lips, he wiggled them back and forth in the sticky mess. He slowly pulled his fingers out and brought them to my mouth. With no hesitation, I parted my lips and stuck out my tongue. I was more than ready to lick my cum off his fingers.

Before I could react, he drew his hand back and brought it to his mouth. “Mine,” he grumbled in my ear. His tongue flicked between his fingers as he cleaned them. I watched him in a blissful combination of shock and lust.

“As much as I want to finish you here, I want all of you. Having you in this library isn't enough for me. I want to hear you moan and scream. I want to hear you say my name while you struggle. I need more, Athena. Where's your phone?” he asked, leaning over my shoulder as his chin nuzzled into my neck.

“In my pocket,” I whimpered.

Terry reached around the sides of my letterman jacket, searching each pocket. He pulled out my phone and took a step back.

After a minute or so, he walked in front of me. Glaring down at me for a second, he slowly closed his eyes. He was just as overcome with lust as I was. His eyes were practically slits, and it appeared that he was possibly biting the inside of his cheek.

“Here. You now have my personal number, and I have yours. I will text you with instructions on where to meet me. One question before we go our separate ways. Do you feel comfortable coming to my home, or would you rather meet somewhere else?” he asked, handing me my phone back.

I grabbed it and placed it back into my pocket.

“Your place,” I answered while rocking back and forth.

“Hmmm. Ok, you sure about that?” he asked.

“Yes. It's less likely that we'll be spotted, right? Plus, it's where you'll be most comfortable,” I said, staring him down.

“Oh, you're a big girl, huh? If you knew what was best for you, you wouldn't keep staring at me like that. I'll happily say fuck this job and fuck you right here,” he said, licking his lips.

I watched his tongue closely. Between his words and his tongue, I was losing my fucking mind. I began to think of all the nasty things he could use that tongue for.

“Hey, you gotta stop. I'm struggling just as much as you are, mama. We gotta at least leave this library in decent condition,” he laughed.

I wanted to yell out fuck being decent, but I knew he wouldn't like that very much.

“Ok. Sorry,” I said, snapping out of it.

“It's alright. Just go straight to your dorm and get cleaned up. Also,…” he said, stepping closer. “Don't touch yourself,” he said, tilting my head to look at him.

“Yes, sir,” I said.

“Good girl, and don't make me come find you,” he drawled, winking at me.

We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. Terry suggested that I leave the library first.

I left and walked to my dorm room in absolute silence. I gripped the strap of my bag for dear life. My emotions were in a whirlwind. I didn't know how to feel about what just happened.

I wanted Professor Richmond in the worst way. I had never had a man make me melt in his hands.

How the fuck was I going to make it through the night? Granted, I wasn't a virgin, but I was definitely nowhere near Terry's level of experience.

Unfortunately for me, this was the first time in my life that my mouth had written a check that my ass couldn't cash.

Later That Night ~ After 9 pm

ding

Terry: Hi, I was just letting you know to wear something cozy.

Me: Hmmm… That's not what I was thinking.

Terry: ???

Me: I had something else in mind.

Terry: 1 attachment

Me: How's that?

Terry: Oh, that's better than I had in mind. TBH, I didn't know you had it in you. Maybe, my good girl isn't so good after all.😈

Me: Wow! You know, I don't like being perceived. It's even worse when it's wrong.🤭

Terry: Not you using my words against me.

Me: I was trying to remember where I had heard that before.😏

Terry: Sassy much?

Me: 😂🤭

Terry: Wear whatever you like, love. It's not like you're going to keep it on anyway.

Me: Well, then… Maybe, I'll just wear nothing.

Terry: You're not going to like the outcome of that. TRUST ME! So, behave.

Terry: Also, I hope you followed my rule.

Me: I did.🙄

Terry: You know you have to see me soon, right? So, all this sass and attitude will be addressed, love.

Me: What're you going to do about it?

Terry: See you soon.😈👿

Later That Night at Terry's Townhouse

As soon as I entered, all it took was a single look for me to know I was in for a wild night. We didn't even make it to the bedroom because Terry had other plans. He wasn't joking when he said my attitude would be “addressed”.

Now, here I was on my knees in front of Terry as he stood in the middle of his living room. We didn't even make it farther than 10 feet into the room before Terry started his attitude adjustment.

With a mouthful of dick, I was struggling to answer his questions. Between my saliva and his precum, the mess inside my mouth was becoming hard to contain. As spit bubbles formed and poured from the sides of my lips, I focused on not choking on the sloppy mess building in my throat.

“I wish you knew how pretty you looked right now,” Terry said, fisting the hair at the back of my head.

I mumbled out a weak thank you.

“Don't talk while your mouth's full. That's rude. Just nod your head, love. There you go. That's my pretty girl.”

“So, are you done having an attitude, yet?”

I eagerly nodded my head yes, tugging lightly on the handcuffs behind my back.

“I don't know. I'm not really convinced. Hmmm… Open,” he demanded, grabbing both sides of my face.

I opened my mouth and pulled back. My breathing was erratic and sharp as I gasped for air. I had been sitting on my knees with Terry's dick in my mouth for at least 10 minutes— no sucking, no licking, no moving. Just sitting there… All the while, he stood there talking his shit.

A trail of my saliva and his precum hung from my lips, dripping onto my chest. It only added to the preexisting mess on my face, neck, and chest.

“Eyes!” he barked, causing me to look up at him. “Next time, are we gonna behave?”

I nodded my head yes.

“Speak. I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, pleading with my eyes.

“That's my girl. That's all I wanted. Clear understanding, baby. Now, come here.”

Terry leaned down and carefully lifted me to my feet. My knees were sore and wobbly upon standing.

“I promise to be nicer for the rest of the night,” he said, walking around me.

He unlocked the handcuffs and removed them gently. Tossing them on the couch, he walked to stand in front of me again. He lightly grabbed each of my wrists and massaged them.

“Too much?”

“No,” I giggled.

“Hmm…,” he scoffed. “Lesson learned, huh?”

“Yes, sir. But, a reminder every once in a while won't hurt.”

“Don't tempt me, love,” he said, pulling me by my waist.

“My bad.”

“Why are you so bold all of a sudden? Where was this energy in class?”

“Well… No one else is around. The only person I have to worry about is you.”

“I guess. Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back.”

Terry turned to walk away from me and disappeared down the hall.

I sat on the couch, flexing my wrists. As I waited, I glanced around the room. His home was spotless. He was clearly a man who believed in minimalism.

I turned my body to face the mirror. I laughed at my reflection. I was still covered in the mess we made. My chest and lower face were shiny and slightly slimy.

As I touched the puddle on my chest, I could hear Terry returning.

“A towel,” he said as he rounded the back of the couch.

“Thank you. I need it,” I said, reaching for the towel.

“I gotchu, baby. I did make the mess.”

Terry planted himself in front of me and stood between my legs. With one hand on my left cheek, he used the other to gently tilt my head to look at him. As he cleaned off my face and chest, the warmth of the soft plush fabric felt so much better than the cold slimy mess that once was.

“Better?” he asked, looking me in the eyes.

“Yes. Much better,” I smiled back.

“Would you like something to drink or eat? I have wine if you'd like some.”

“No, thank you. Plus, I don't drink.”

“Really? That's… uh… surprising, I guess. It's not something you hear often. Any particular reason?”

“Never wanted to, so I just never started.”

“That's definitely something to be proud of.”

I shrugged my shoulders.

Terry squatted in front of me, placing his hands on my knees. “So, I'll leave it up to you, Athena. How do you want this to go? We can sit here for a while or we can—,” he started.

I interrupted him with tenacity. “Fuck me already!” I yelled.

I can tell that Terry was shocked by my statement, but I was sick of waiting. This man had no idea of how many nights I dreamed of this happening, how many times I fingered myself wishing it were him, or how many times I yearned to touch some part of him.

“That's all I needed to hear,” Terry said, standing.

Without another word, he lifted me onto his shoulder. My hands flailed around in horror. I was instantly afraid that he would drop me.

“Don't worry, baby. This isn't my first time. Relax, I gotchu.” He laughed.

20 LONG Minutes Later

“Oh, Terry. Please!” I moaned, pushing at his chest.

Terry's hands grabbed mine and held them against my stomach. I was losing my damn mind in this bed. Now, I was second-guessing if I should've even tried to take the dick.

“Please…just… fuck… I can't!” I yelled.

Terry's hips slowed down again.

“Mmm,” Terry moaned clearly enjoying himself.

“Ahhh, fuck. This feels… it feels…,” I stuttered.

Wrapping his arms around my thighs, he pulled me closer. As if his dick wasn't deep enough, this made it feel deeper.

“Yes, you can. I know you can handle it,” Terry groaned.

I was fighting the urge to disassociate. I was fully prepared for this man to fuck me up and put me through the mattress, but this… THIS!!! I was not. I wasn't being fucked at all. I was being loved on and taken care of.

“Baby girl, stay with me. We talked about this, love. I wanna see those pretty eyes,” Terry said, reaching for my face. His hand cupped the underside of my chin.

I tried my hardest to look at Terry, but I was also I was fighting to stay present. Every fiber of my being was feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated.

“Athena! Look at me, NOW!” Terry ordered.

Listening like a lost child, my eyes opened to find Terry's. His glare was piercing into me— soul-deep. I let out a deep breath, hoping and praying that I didn't pass out.

“That's it, baby. Stay with me. Eyes on me,” he grumbled as his head dropped to watch his dick slide in and out of my pussy.

“Terry! I have… I have… to… unh… pee…,” I stammered, stumbling over every word.

Terry's eyes met mine. His face was overcome with lust. The gaze this man possessed sent chills down my spine. His eyes were low and dark, glazing over more and more by the second.

His thrusts quickened with fervor. Leaning over me, he began to speak again.

“That's not pee, baby. Don't worry. Imma talk you through it like I always do. Okay, mama?”

“Shit! What… I need… but…,” I attempted to respond.

“Don't talk just listen. Relax your abdomen, mama. There you go,” he said, kissing my neck. Stop tensing up. Uhh uhh, don't think about it. You let me worry about all of that.”

His hands wrapped around the back of my knees, pushing them back. I swear I heard my knees pop in my ear from this position.

“Fuck you,” I said absentmindedly.

“That's not nice, but since you asked for it…,” Terry's smile turned into a devilish grin. His hips snapped against my ass, and the force caused the headboard to bang against the wall.

If I didn't know it then, I sure as hell knew it now. THIS MAN WAS ABOUT TO GIVE ME HELL!

“Wait!” I yelled, trying to get out of his grasp.

“No, ma'am. We don't run in this house. Take this shit.”

Pushing up on his legs, I felt like this man was trying to actually fuck me into the mattress. Tears began to fall from the corners of my eyes. If I had just kept my mouth shut, I wouldn't be in this position.

I closed my eyes, trying to just take it. The pressure I felt before was 100x worse now.

“Open your damn eyes! Right now, Athena.”

“I ca—,” I started.

“Nah, you gone show me how good this pussy is, or you ain't cumming at all.”

“Aww, fuck… please… do something,” I begged. I felt like I was about to piss all over this man.

“Okay,” Terry practically laughed as he leaned down, licking the tears falling down my face.

His hand reached over me to grab the top of the headboard. Using it as leverage, Terry used every inch of his dick to punish me. As if I wasn't struggling enough, I had to survive a new level of demon dick Terry. I knew that after this; I would have my wish. My pussy would definitely be molded to only fit him.

“Look at you. That's right, baby. Now, let it go!” Terry moaned loudly.

He used his free hand to press against my abdomen. This singular move was the catalyst for the start of the flood between my legs.

“Oouu… look at you. Stay just like that,” he mumbled through gritted teeth.

His head fell back on his shoulders as he continued to pound into me. It was becoming more apparent that Terry was losing it as his hand slipped from the top of the headboard.

Shifting quickly, he placed one hand by my ear and braced himself on top of me. His head fell forward, and his mouth dropped open. His eyes locked onto mine. I was still too fucked out to speak.

“It's coming, baby. Fuck! This… ahh, fuck.”

“Shh… It's yours. Let it out,” I said, wrapping my legs around Terry's waist. I brought my hands around his back, holding him in place.

I was about to indulge in my little breeding kink fantasy. If he was going to cum, it was going to be IN ME!

“Mama, that's not… uhh, fuck!” Terry groaned as his eyes snapped shut.

I knew what was coming. I felt the warmth of his cum coat the inside of my pussy. Like a switch went off, I released a second orgasm. Terry's breathing became erratic and choppy as his eyes reopened to look at me.

“Shit, that's a dangerous game you playing’, lil girl!” Terry exclaimed, leaning up.

He let my legs fall as he pushed my thighs open.

“Damn!” he said, watching his cum drip from my pussy.

Terry tilted his head so that it was directly over my pussy. His mouth opened slowly. I watched as he let a thick trail of saliva fall straight into the mess between my legs.

“Huh, ahh. Terry!” I said, watching him in shock and lust.

“Yeah, I'm… I'm not done,” Terry said, pushing himself back inside.

All I could do was moan out in pleasure. I grabbed Terry, pulling him back in and forcing him to go deeper. If this is what he wanted, fuck it!

Let's be honest, the nasty freak in me liked this shit. It wasn't like I wanted him to stop anyway.

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[cheyisagirlkisser]

Flowers (Headcannons)

Sevika x fem! reader

Warnings / content: 18+ content, brothel worker reader, brief mentions of casual sex with other brothel workers, soft sex, tribbing, Sevika’s daddy issues, afab reader.

A/N: This is short. I may do more with this trope but it depends on if you guys like this post, idk how I feel about it yet so…

୨ৎ Sevika who is one of the only clients of yours who gives aftercare. You’re not to used it, most of the guys you sleep with for money only pay you through Babbette and leave. Sevika holds you in her big arms, rubbing your back silently. It's not a comfortable silence, but rather a vulnerable one in which she is afraid to say she feels more.

୨ৎ Sevika who previously fucked brothel girls in the most detached ways possible, simply bending them over and leaving afterwards. She knew it was wrong, but sex was just a way to blow steam for her.

୨ৎ Sevika who fucks you like you're her wife, though. Smothering kisses all over your shoulder as she moves her hips, she is truly more intimate than any other client is. You're too used to men coming for a blow and leaving, but that isn't the case with Sevika.

୨ৎ Sevika who believes "love at first sight" is the stupidest shit she has ever heard of, but... you're beautiful, and you remind her of flowers. Flowers don't usually grow in the undercity, so she simply felt the need to gently pick your petals one by one and water your roots when she finished. You never question why this rather brash-looking woman is so soft for you, but if you did, she would simply tell you she likes "slow sex." If only you knew.

୨ৎ Sevika who stopped seeing her other girls a week after you. You filled her mind with visions of rose metals and soft waterlilies, and it didn't help that your perfume smells like a damn flower shop. She finds herself thinking about you only now, to the point that she doesn't care about blowing off steam. You and your sweet hums when she squeezes your waist, your skin so malleable under her touch.

୨ৎ Sevika who thinks about more than just the sex. Since you’re a brothel worker, she unfortunately doesn’t get much time with you besides that. Still, she thinks about the moments when it’s just quiet between the two of you. The moments leading up to it are stuck in her head like a loop, and she can’t help but think about the one time she got bold enough to hold your hand after sex. Much like a flower, you gave her a soft, warm smile. You squeezed her hand, and it made her heart burst.

୨ৎ Sevika who wonders why a sweet girl like you works at a brothel. Not that she would ever judge people for that, since she knows from her own experience how hard surviving is. You probably just need to pay your bills, put food in your mouth. She knows that. Still, she doesn’t like thinking about how tiring the job must be. Most women she knows who do the job don’t seem very happy on shifts, and yet you smile and laugh with her. Could it be that you feel what she feels?

୨ৎ Sevika who eventually stops coming to the brothel to sleep with you, rather finding herself stalling the sex unless you both wanna have sex, and at some point she pays just for sessions of talking to you. She likes getting to know you. She gets excited when you tell her how much you love cooking, and you inform her of your favorite flower. It’s one you have only seen once, but you hope to see it again someday.

୨ৎ Sevika who accidentally tells you she loves you during sex one day. You’re underneath her as she grinds her pussy against yours, and there aren’t any exaggerated moans like you fake with other customers—just soft, delicate gasps. You seem so caught up in your pleasure, like you’ve forgotten this is a job and not..something else that you haven’t acknowledged yet. Sevika is mesmerized by your facial expression, too. Your eyes like to find hers and make that connection, and you’ve leaned in for soft, intimate kisses multiple times just this round. Naturally, the words slip.

“I love you.”

୨ৎ Sevika who shouldn’t be surprised when you say it back, but is. She doesn’t have the best self-esteem. For the better part of her life, she dealt with her old man putting her down for everything he could. She got comments on her appearance: her nose, her lack of femininity. All of the things that you adore, thought she struggles to understand how. Still, she won’t refuse your love. She wants you to be hers.

୨ৎ Sevika who works her ass off for a single flower. Piltover goods are not cheap, and she was charged extra just because the vendor simply could. But the one flower she could afford is just as beautiful as you described it to her. And of course, it reminds her of you.

୨ৎ Sevika who asks you to actually be her girlfriend with the flower. It’s not much, and yet you tear up when it happens. She is given the softest hug in return, and all of the soreness in her back from working extra for the flower was suddenly gone. It was all worth it.

[nosyp]

No Way Out

Continuation of this

Next part

A/N = Sorry no smut this time y'all

Warning = captivity, violence, guns, front man, mild spoilers, kidnapping, isolation, controlling behaviour

Pairing = Front man x reader

Summary = You, a captive, fought to escape In-Ho's creation, but freedom slips further away with each attempt.

Word count = 2.1k

Read beloowoww 👇

All you could hear were gunshots and screams echoing through the rooms for hours. You hated this. Every blast tore through the silence, through your sanity, as you begged your partner to stop. But he never listened. He claimed it was "saving the world," as if those words could justify the horror. You’ve had enough with his shenanigans, but the thought of leaving… of escaping… it just felt impossible. You couldn’t move, couldn’t think. You were trapped in a nightmare of his creation.

When the shots finally stopped, an eerie silence followed. It was the kind of silence that sent shivers up your spine… and the worst part was that… you had no idea what was coming next. You stepped back instinctively as you saw him walking toward you, his tall figure silhouetted by the dim light from the room.

His mask glowed under the lights of the room, making him look even more intimidating. The polished black surface revealed nothing, yet you could feel his gaze piercing through you.

“You’re shaking,” he said, his voice as cold and steady as ever.

You swallowed hard, clenching your fists to keep them from trembling. “This… this isn’t saving the world. You’re just killing people.”

His head tilted slightly. “Sacrifices have to be made to save the world,” he replied. “You don’t understand now, but you will soon. Someday, one day, you’ll see the bigger picture.”

“I don’t want to see the bigger picture,” you snapped, anger replacing the fear that had gripped you. “I want this to end. I want out.”

He stepped closer, and for a moment, you thought he might actually lash out. But instead, he reached up and removed the mask, revealing a face you could never quite grow accustomed to. His expression was unreadable, but his dark eyes held a flicker of something. Was it pity? Regret? You couldn’t tell.

“You say that now,” he murmured, his voice softer. “But there’s no escaping this. Not for me, and certainly not for you.”

Your chest tightened at his words, and you took a shaky step back. “I didn’t sign up for this. You made me a part of it. You trapped me here.”

“And I’ll protect you,” he said, his hand reaching out to brush your cheek. His touch was surprisingly gentle, almost tender, and it made your stomach twist with conflicting emotions. “Even if you hate me for it.”

You slapped his hand away, the sting of your palm against his skin making a loud crack. “I don’t need your protection. I need my freedom.”

He smiled faintly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Freedom comes with a price. Are you ready to pay it?”

Before you could respond, the sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway. His face hardened instantly, the mask slipping back into place as he turned toward the noise.

“Stay here,” he ordered, his voice sharp and commanding.

You wanted to argue, to tell him you wouldn’t stay and be his prisoner any longer. But the weight of the situation and the danger outside made your words catch in your throat. You hated how powerless you felt, how much control he had over your life… and hundreds of others.

As he disappeared into the hallway, gun in right hand, you clenched your fists again, this time with determination. If you couldn’t find a way out now, you’d make one. One way or another.

Someday, maybe you’ll decide to betray his command and go out of the room, explore the whole island. Maybe you’d even expose the island to the real world beyond it.

Then you heard footsteps, they weren’t his though. This was a completely different shoe and pace. They were a bit more rushed, not as deliberate as him. It was probably one of those red-hooded masked people. They’d been ordered to not only take care of the players… but also take care of you. To not let you escape and make sure you stand where you should be.

Click.

The door clicked open and you turned your head that way. It was a square masked person, of course. They were the highest rank after all.

You were allowed to watch the game, do anything. As long as you stayed in the room and on the island.

But that wasn’t enough for you anymore. It never had been. The constant screams, the endless violence, the way lives were reduced to a stack of cash… it gnawed at you endlessly. Your stomach churned every time another body fell, and yet, you were expected to sit there, detached, like someone watching a movie. You weren’t allowed a phone either, so you really couldn’t film the events for evidence.

You’d tried to reason with him before, begged him to see the madness in all of it, but his answers were always the same. Cryptic. Dismissive. As if your objections were nothing more than a nuisance.

But you weren’t going to sit still any longer. You couldn’t. Not when every fiber of your being screamed to break free, to take action. Anything would be better than standing idly and watching.

Your gaze flicked to the door. You knew what leaving meant. He wouldn’t forgive it. He might even…

You pushed the thought away, determination setting in. If you couldn’t stop the games, maybe you could find a way out. Maybe you could stop being a prisoner in this hellhole.

“I’m hungry.” you say, echoing through the full black room. He definitely had something for the black colour. All of the furniture was dark… you should ask him about it later.

The masked person then walked out of the room and swiftly came back with a plate of food.

They set the plate down in front of you with a heavy silence, their eyes lingering on you for just a moment too long. The air between you both felt charged, like the space was about to crack open.

“You should eat,” the masked figure said, their voice devoid of any emotion. “You’ll need your strength for what’s to come.”

The food sat there, its aroma faint but still enough to stir your hunger. But you didn’t feel like eating. Your mind was too full of plans, too full of thoughts of escape, of breaking free. You hadn’t even realized how much the games, the endless violence, had hollowed you out until now. You stared at the food, but your gaze didn’t linger. Instead, your thoughts kept drifting back to the door, to the escape that still seemed just out of reach.

“I’m not staying here any longer,” you said, your voice quieter this time, but laced with conviction. “I don’t care what you or he says. I won’t watch another person die in front of me.”

The masked figure didn’t respond immediately, simply watching you. You could almost feel the weight of their scrutiny as they observed your every move. It was as if they were measuring you, calculating your next move.

You clenched your fists at your sides. You were done being a prisoner in this room, in this world.

The sound of footsteps grew louder from the hallway, more hurried now. Your heart skipped a beat. This could be it. Maybe this was the moment you made a good decision, a choice that might finally free you.

You stood up abruptly, your chair scraping against the floor with a loud sound. The masked figure seemed to tense at the sudden movement, but they didn’t stop you. They knew better than to try to control you right now. It was clear that whatever you were about to do was bigger than anything they could prevent.

“I’m leaving,” you muttered to yourself, more to yourself than to them. You turned toward the door, walking past the plate of food, as if it meant nothing now.

Then the door creaked open, and you crossed the threshold, breath stuck in your throat. There was no going back. Not this time.

The hallway beyond was dimly lit, shadows were dancing along the walls. You didn’t know where you were going, but you couldn’t stop now. Every step you took felt like it was taking you closer to freedom… or closer to your end. Either way, you were done staying in the dark room, done with the games, done with being a silent observer.

The footsteps behind you grew louder, closer now. Someone was coming. The thought of being caught, of being dragged back to that room, surged in your chest, but you didn’t let it stop you. Not now. Not when you were this close.

Then a voice, low and commanding, called out from behind you.

“Stop.”

It was one of his lackeys. They had found you.

You stopped, but you didn’t turn around. You couldn’t. The fear, the adrenaline. It all mixed together into a weird feeling, but you refused to let it break you. You weren’t going back.

“I won’t stop,” you said, your voice steady, defiant.

The tension was unbearable. The silence stretched between you both as you waited for his next move, for whatever he planned to do now.

And then, just as quickly as the moment began, the sound of heavy footsteps receded. You had been given a moment, perhaps your last chance.

You didn’t waste it.

You ran.

You knew this was risky. Every fiber of your being screamed at you to turn back, but the urge to escape had grown too strong, too consuming. The sound of footsteps behind you had long faded, and the small light guided your way as you snuck toward the edge of the building.

But just as you neared the side of the building, your body was yanked back with an iron grip. Your heart leaped into your throat, and before you could make another move, you were shoved hard into the rough stone wall. A sharp pain ran through your shoulder, but you didn’t have the chance to recover.

“You didn’t think it’d be that easy, did you?”

The cold voice sent a shiver down your spine. The red-hooded person was there, their hand gripping your arm tightly, pinning you in place as they stared down at you, their face hidden behind the mask.

You tried to twist away, struggling with everything you had, but their hold was unyielding. The sound of their boots scraped against the ground as they shifted, pressing you even harder against the cold stone.

“I told you,” they said, their voice low and full of amusement, “you don’t get to leave. Not like this.”

Your chest tightened with frustration, but before you could retaliate, you heard more footsteps. The familiar click of boots nearing. Another figure.

“They’ve already informed the boss,” the second masked person said, their tone dismissive as they reached you. “It’s time to return.”

Your stomach dropped. There was no chance now. You had failed.

As they began to drag you back, the sharp sting of defeat spread through your chest. You’ve tried. You had truly tried to escape, but here you were, dragged back into the clutches of this place. No matter how far you went, they were always one step ahead.

The second person gestured to the door that led back inside the building, the familiar room awaiting your return. The one place you had tried so hard to escape. But now, it was where you were going to remain.

“Get inside,” the first person snapped.

You were shoved forward, stumbling into the room. The cold air hit your skin, but it did little to numb the sharp pang of frustration that gnawed at you. They weren’t going to give up on holding you here, were they?

As the door clicked shut behind you, your heart sank further. There was no point in trying to fight them now. You were back, just like they had predicted.

Your gaze drifted to the center of the room where you knew he would be. And sure enough, there he was, his tall form standing in the shadows with his mask still in place. His unreadable eyes flicked toward you as the door slammed shut, locking you back into the cage you’d fought so hard to escape.

You had failed.

But you wouldn’t give up. Not yet.

You would find another way. Someday. Maybe not today. But soon.

You were brought back into the dark room, with the huge screen allowing you to watch. This time, you spotted a familiar face. Player 001.

[roosterforme]

Aim for the Sky Part 32 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You're struggling through your pregnancy, trying to stay calm as your worries about Bradley grow as quickly as the baby. Bradley wants to put his best foot forward at work, making himself available for office hours, but maybe he's made himself too accessible.

Warnings: Angst, adult language, body image, DILF Roo, smut, pregnancy topics, lactation kink, jealous

Length: 3400 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

Bradley's new office was coming along nicely. Everything was standard issue Navy grade, but he started adding some touches here and there to make it look more personal. The file cabinet was covered in ultrasound photos, one column of Rosie and one of her younger sibling. 

He glanced at the wedding photo on his desk before adjusting it and wincing. You were still mad this morning that he overdid it at the Hard Deck last night, but he wished you would just let it go. It's not like he drove home drunk or anything. Nat and the guys were just excited to learn he was going to have another kid. The drinks just kept coming.

There was a knock on the door, and then Maverick poked his head inside. "You have a minute?"

"Yeah," Bradley replied, waving him inside. "It's not like I can tell you no. You're my commanding officer, Mav."

The older man chuckled, setting some folders on the desk. "I need you to keep all of the forms updated for each of the pilots. It's best if you work on it every day and then update the hard copies. You should have time to do this between visits during your office hours."

Today was the first time Bradley was holding office hours, and honestly he felt a bit like a college professor: the aviators were kind of his students, and he was responsible for making sure they were prepared to fly.

"Not sure how busy my office hours will be," Bradley muttered. He should probably send a text to remind you he'd be home a little later than usual tonight. While he didn't want to make a habit of missing dinner with his girls, this was a far cry better than being deployed. 

"You might be surprised," Maverick replied with a smile as he backed toward the door. "You've got a lot to show the others, Lieutenant Commander."

Then he was gone, and Bradley could feel the warmth rising in his cheeks. He just wanted to prove himself, but the first time someone had him up against the wall, scrambling for an answer, he wasn't sure what he was going to do. He'd only started to advertise his extra hours during today's lecture, so it would probably be another week or so until someone came to him for any sort of guidance on a Monday evening. But he would try to be ready.

He was just opening one of the folders from Maverick when there was another knock on his door. This time when he looked up, he was met with a flight suit complete with a Golden Warriors patch identical to the one he wore. That would have been enough to let him know it was Indigo, but then he met her eyes as he stood up behind his desk.

"Lieutenant Jeffries," he greeted with a smile as she strode inside. "How can I help you?"

She studied his face with a knowing look for a few seconds before breaking out into a smile of her own. "Sir, I can think of so many ways you could help me. It's not even funny."

Bradley blinked, brow furrowed as he examined her. "Well, why don't you start with an easy one? It's been a long day. And something tells me you might be regretting the late start you got at the Hard Deck last night."

Her laughter filled the room. "I could never regret finding the officer hangout before the rest of my peers from Texas. I need to keep the edge I have over Rex and Spice." When she started to close the door, Bradley frowned.

"Keep it open," he said casually, reaching out to catch it before it shut. He didn't want anyone thinking he was playing favorites, and the little pout on Indigo's lips convinced him she wanted to be his favorite aviator. But she didn't argue. She simply sat down on the edge of the couch and looked up at him.

"The easiest way you can help me is by telling me where I can improve," she said, fingers toying with the zipper at her neck. "I want to be the best you've ever seen."

------------------------------

You couldn't tell if Cat was actually annoyed with you or if she was just teasing, but you were too exhausted from a restless night to care.

"I can't believe Bradley told Jake you're pregnant before you told me yourself! I just saw you last night!"

Her gaze dipped down to your belly as you stood before her in the lab. You knew you were showing. There was no denying it now. You had a bunch of appointments coming up with Dr. Morris, and you were just going to keep getting bigger until you had to wear the maternity tent again. You knew you were already huge and that you'd probably never be your normal size ever again. And the last thing you wanted was Cat Coleman of all people scrutinizing your appearance when she always looked pristine.

Everything was made worse by Bradley's interactions with Indigo. She was everywhere on base, but now she had taken over your bar, too. You saw her this morning but managed to duck out of the way before those piercing eyes landed on you. She knew what you looked like now, and Cat's gaze lingering on your belly was doing nothing to give you a boost of confidence.

"Please make sure you're eating and drinking enough," she told you. "We don't want another repeat of Annapolis where you could barely give a presentation. Or a repeat of the day you fell at work."

You gritted your teeth. "This pregnancy doesn't even feel like my last one. Okay? I'm eating just fine. Too well, actually."

You turned on your heel, boot squeaking on the floor and headed out to collect Rose from daycare. Everything was just a reminder of your size right now. Visions of candy bars danced in your head as you told yourself you'd go home and eat a sensible dinner while Bradley held his office hours. But you already knew... you just knew Indigo would squeeze her way in there with her pretty eyes and her perky tits. And your husband seemed to be oblivious to her. At least you'd tried to convince yourself he wasn't actively looking. But you knew she found him attractive. You could smell it on her a mile away.

Tears filled your eyes as you approached the daycare facility. If he was looking at her, you couldn't blame him. Indigo was beautiful, her body stunning even in her flight suit. Meanwhile you looked like an exhausted, lumpy, khaki-covered potato with acne and zero energy.

"Let's go home," you whispered to Rose, trying to smile at the daycare staff as you pushed her out in her stroller.

You were absolutely fine. You were totally fine. Or at least you would be. Or at least that's what you kept telling yourself.

But all week long, you heard the same collection of call signs spilling from Bradley's lips, and Indigo's was always the first one. She was the fastest, most cunning, smartest, most decisive pilot he'd ever flown with. Any time you asked him a question about work, she was the answer. And he was late coming home almost every day.

"Hey, Sweetheart. Sorry, I had to stay in the infirmary with Spice after she strained her shoulder," he said, rushing inside on Friday night as you made dinner. "She couldn't even raise her arm to get her helmet off."

He kissed your cheek, letting his hand rest on your belly for a beat before he ended up on the floor next to Rose's play mat where she was trying her hardest to crawl to Tramp. As soon as Bradley showed up, she changed her mind and tried to get to him instead.

You pressed your lips together as you turned off the stove burner. "Did anyone else stay with you and Spice?"

"Yeah, Indigo hung out," he replied easily, brushing his fingers along Rose's hair with a smile. You swallowed hard, watching him on his hands and knees in his khaki uniform. He looked so good. Like ridiculously good. Broad shoulders and big biceps and a handsome smile.

"Why am I not surprised?" you muttered, turning away from him.

"I think they're friends," he said. "It's kind of amusing getting to experience the love and hate dynamics amongst the group. The women tend to stick together on the ground, but anything goes in the air."

Your stomach ached with hunger pangs, and the only thing you wanted to eat was ice cream. When you realized you'd eaten a frozen burrito barely an hour ago, you desperately wanted to go to bed hungry, but you started to feel guilty about the baby.

"My parents listed their house today," you announced, trying to change the subject before you started to cry.

"Did you hear that, Nugget?" Bradley scooped Rose up in his arms and carried her into the kitchen where you were plating two meals. "Your grandparents are moving here to spend more time with you. And next summer, we'll take you and your little brother or sister back to Virginia to see where ol' Goose and Carole used to live, okay?"

He peppered her face with kisses until she was giggling wildly, and every negative thought started to get fuzzy around the edges. When his brown eyes met yours, you nodded toward the table, and his arm slipped around your waist.

-----------------------------

Bradley came home from his office hours on Monday to find you wearing only his old UVA shirt. The soft cotton was hugging your bump and showing off your legs, and he was ready to get on his knees and beg for you.

After he put Rose in her crib for the night, he met you in bed where you were wearing your glasses, your face freshly scrubbed. He was plainly getting hard in his gym shorts the more he looked at you. It was so obvious. When you stood on your knees and coaxed him closer with your finger, he met you there.

"I hope you know how good you have it, Roo," you whispered against his lips.

He knew. He knew all about it. He let his hand slide down over your belly, keeping you in place when you tried to scoot away. Then his fingers slowly yanked up the hem of his shirt until he was touching your pussy. 

"Of course I know it, Baby Girl." He circled your clit with his middle finger before slipping it inside you. "I've got my Rosie. And my hot, pregnant wife with her perfect pussy." When you whimpered, he kissed your nose. "I've got it all."

You dragged the shirt up over your belly and chest, tossing it aside. For a beat, Bradley went completely dizzy at the sight of your tits. Then you made everything better by placing your hands on your breasts, working them until beads of milk appeared. Your head was tipped back, pussy squeezing his middle finger, and Bradley almost lost his mind.

His kisses were rough. He knew it. But you were whining Roo as he got undressed, and then you were guiding his lips to your tits. He had to have it dirty. His cock was so fucking hard, he needed to make you scream.

"Oh, fuck," he growled as his lips grazed your nipple, lapping up your milk until he thought he was going to pass out. Every inch of your body was so sweet and supple, but he wanted you babbling and begging.

Bradley meticulously cleaned you up until you were clinging onto him, then he pushed you onto your back. Without hesitation, he started fucking you. When you needed a hand over your mouth to keep from waking Rose, he was all too happy to help. When you spread your legs wider, he watched his cock glide inside your welcoming body over and over again until he felt his orgasm in his balls.

"Shit. I'm gonna cum," he groaned, waiting until you nodded against his palm to lose himself. Hips thrusting, filling you with shallow strokes, he fucked you until your pussy was dripping. He watched the mess he made dribble down your ass before catching it with his fingertips. "I swear I don't think I can keep my cock out of you long enough for you to not be pregnant ever again."

You snorted before reaching for his hand and bringing it to your lips. "After this one, I'm going right back on the pill. No more slip ups," you whispered. Bradley watched as your tongue darted out, licking his sticky cum and swallowing every drop.

"No more slip ups," he echoed, smiling at your belly. He'd never consider this a mistake. Not in a million years. A surprise? Absolutely. But not a mistake.

Bradley's phone lit up where it had been discarded on the floor when you slipped into the bathroom. He had a text from an unknown number with a Virginia area code. At first, he thought it might be his cousin Brenda letting him know she had a new phone number, but when he opened the message, his brow creased in confusion at first.

Lieutenant Commander, thanks for spending so much time with me today in your office today.

Only three people had been in his office with him earlier. One was Maverick. One was Forrest who he had to reprimand. The third was Indigo. Bradley hadn't been giving out this number, but it was readily available if anyone wanted to look through the registry in the lobby of the building where his small office was housed.

He scratched the rough stubble along his jaw, contemplating if he should respond after nine in the evening. He saved her number under her call sign and tossed his phone on the bed when you walked back in with a smile on your face. He should wait until the morning to respond if at all.

You yawned when he passed you. "I'm ready for bed, Roo."

"Give me a minute to brush my teeth, and I'm right behind you."

---------------------------

By the end of the week, your parents had two offers on the house where you were raised. They were officially downsizing to a cute bungalow a few streets over in Coronado, and you were excited. Or you wanted to be.

But every time you let your heart fill with happiness over your parents or the baby, you remembered that Indigo was texting your husband. You saw it for yourself. Right after he fucked you so good, you could barely walk, you glanced down at his phone on your bed. He had her number saved in his phone, and you wanted to cry.

You could ask him for permission to look at his phone. You could see what his reaction was. That would give you a good gauge of what exactly was going on between them. But Bradley had never once asked you to hand your phone over to him. He'd ever insinuated that there would be a reason he didn't trust you. 

Unsure what else to do, you sat in your office during your lunch break and cried. The tears were hot and miserable on your cheeks, and a headache instantly started brewing behind your eyes. It took you almost ten minutes to get yourself under control, and by then you didn't even feel like going to the cafeteria for food.

When someone knocked, you looked up at your door. Maybe it was Bradley. Maybe you could get his phone from him somehow and check it yourself. "Come in," you called, voice soft from all the tears you'd shed. Instead of your husband, Jake strolled inside. "Did you get lost? Cat's probably in the lab."

"Aww, come on, Angel," he drawled, dropping down into your extra chair. "I came all the way up here to see you."

"Oh." You were a little surprised. Everyone was so busy as the last quarter of the year was beginning, you felt like you hadn't seen much of him.

"Why do you look so sad?" he asked, already leaning forward to stand again. "Want me to grab you and the baby something to eat and bring it up here?"

"No," you told him quickly. "I'm fine. Just a little stressed." You tried to smile, but you felt like you could cry again. "Are you having a slow day?"

"Nah." He leaned back with his arms crossed over his chest. "Just had to get away from your annoying husband and his band of misfits clogging up the comms with their exercises."

"Band of misfits?" you asked with a soft laugh.

"Bunch of children," he replied with an eye roll. "Look like they just graduated from high school." His eyes went wide. "Oh shit, that probably means I look old now."

"You don't look too bad for someone older than me," you promised with a smirk. "Hey, do you know anything about any of those new pilots?"

"I know they like to hog the line in the cafeteria. One of them took the last slice of pizza yesterday, and I had to wait for a new pie to finish baking. Food should be based on seniority. I outrank all of them."

You were laughing at his smile now. "Hey, maybe I should get something to eat. And it might be nice to get out of my office for a few minutes."

"I'll walk you down." Jake stood and helped you to your feet. "Can't hang out too long though. Mav has a fire under his ass about getting Phoenix, Bob and I in the air this afternoon."

You headed to the cafeteria with Jake, getting a chance to hear his side of the wedding plans after listening to Cat for weeks. They wanted something small and simple, but he assured you there would be room for the Bradshaws on the guest list. Once you had a tray piled high with a salad, breadsticks and once slice of pizza, you took a seat while Jake headed back out to the tarmac to get back to work.

Your lunch tasted incredible. The cheese from the pizza was practically melting in your mouth. When the cafeteria started clearing out, there were only a few tables occupied, and you started stacking the plates on your tray. You could have a calm, reasonable conversation with your husband. He'd let you look at his phone, and everything would be fine.

"Okay, but what's up with Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw?"

Your eyes darted up from your tray to find two officers sitting a short distance away. The one facing you had a patch on her flight suit that said SPICE, and you recognized her call sign from conversations with Bradley.

"He's hot, but he's wearing a wedding band," she added.

You swore your heart stopped at her words. Then you realized that the woman with her back to you was Indigo. Her jet black hair was wound up in a tight bun that accentuated her long neck even from behind, and her laughter set your teeth on edge.

"I already told you," she said, and you had to stop breathing to make sure you heard every word. "His wife is a civvy. I saw her at the bar the only night he showed up. They have one kid, and apparently she's pregnant again. At least that's what I heard Lieutenant Trace saying."

"What does his wife look like?" Spice asked, casually taking a sip of her drink as if your world wasn't crumbling to pieces.

"It was hard to tell in the dark, but her face seemed okay. Nice-ish body, but come on..." Indigo gestured to herself. "The man's only human, and his wife is definitely older than me. That much is easy to tell. And she'll be huge again soon."

You tried to get up from your seat quickly, fighting with yourself to get out of the room, but it was too late. Both of them were standing now, still chatting as Indigo turned your way. As soon as her eyes landed on your face, you saw them widen. That pretty blue color looked terrifying as a smile of recognition spread across her lips.

Indigo absolutely knew who you were now. Her eyes dipped down to the hyphenated name pinned against your chest, and now she knew you weren't a random civilian. She knew you were an officer who worked on North Island. She knew way too much as she took in every inch of your body. And she looked really pleased by what she saw.

-----------------------------

He has his sweet moments, but Roo doesn't see the bigger picture here. Next chapter will reveal if Rose is going to have a brother or a sister. Any guesses? Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

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[azsazz]

In Safe Arms (Part 2)

Bodyguard!Azriel x Celebrity!Reader

Summary: Anon Req: Hey ! Ik u are hella busy and I am so proud of ur for ur publication , but if u ever get time could u do a Celebrity reader x bodyguard az?

Warnings: A little PTSD for reader alluding to a horrific incident but not much described besides blood.

Word Count: 3,702

Notes: Happy New Year my loves!

_________________________________________

You’re jolted awake at the rocking of your SUV dipping into a pothole.

Your spine straightens on its own accord and your bleary eyes snap open, frantically scanning the space, on high alert. Your heart pounds in your chest as you desperately try to take in your surroundings. Outside the window, there is nothing but darkness, the skies and scenery draped in midnight-hour black.

It takes you more than a second to realize where you are. In the back of an SUV on your way to your parent’s charity gala that you cannot miss. Except that the weather in New York took a turn for the worse, a heavy blizzard that no news stations mentioned before you fell into an exhausted sleep last night. No planes in, and no planes out.

Which meant that you had to find alternative transportation to make it to Chicago before the gala, which meant that Azriel had to arrange safe travel for you to get there on time, his job already on the line from his mistake only days ago.

Not the kiss. Not the weak fucking moment he had in the bathroom of your suite after a passerby tossed an unknown object at you that split the skin above your brow.

Your parents don’t know about the kiss. You tried to convince Azriel that it wasn’t worth telling them, and he tried to convince you that it couldn’t happen again.

His eyes had been hard. He’d been wearing that same stoic mask he showed up on his first day with. “We can’t do that again,” he’d said, like the kiss was transactional. Like he didn’t feel the passion that lit your entire body up, the wanting in your bones.

No kisses have happened in the days since.

Your eyes connect with Azriel’s through the rear-view mirror and the sight of your infallible bodyguard has you relaxing against the warm leather seat, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Azriel says softly. His rough, gravelly tone sharpens his apology.

“It’s fine,” you brush off, but it’s not fine. Nothing that has anything to do with you is ever fine.

Silence takes over the car. He hasn’t even turned on the radio to keep him company while you slept. You frown at the thought, then realize that silence is probably what Azriel is used to, what he prefers.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” you admit.

Azriel’s gaze stays focused on the road, not another vehicle in sight. “You needed it,” he defends, and you shrug.

“Where are we?”

“A few hours away from the Ohio border,” Azriel answers. You glance at the neon glow of the clock. It reads just past one in the morning, which means that you still have seven or so hours of driving to go, depending on how bad the road conditions are.

You’re supposed to be in Chicago by ten a.m. for brunch with your parents and the charity director for the gala, but with all of the delays that have happened since New York, you’d much rather spend as much time as you can away from the crazy normal that is your life. This unexpected road trip feels like a breath of fresh air that you didn’t know you needed.

You squint, peering around the passenger seat. The roads are clear from snow, piled high on the sides of the highway, but that doesn’t mean that there can’t be patches of black ice to look out for.

You decide to keep Azriel company. You don’t want to be sleeping the night away peacefully while he navigates through four states to get you back to your parents. You know for a fact that he’s gone days without speaking a single word nor getting an ounce of sleep, but right now, with the dark of night blanketing the car, it feels cruel.

Azriel protests when you unbuckle and climb over the console, claiming the front passenger seat. His hands are white-knuckled around the steering wheel and he tries to keep his focus on the road, though you do catch him sneaking a protective peek over at you more than once. It makes you want to snort with amusement, there’s no threat here, unless he hits a patch of aforementioned black ice, but you trust Azriel with your life, so you should be fine.

And you are. Azriel’s shoulders don’t lose a strand of tension until your buckle slides locked with a click. Even then, he can hardly relax. “You shouldn’t be up here.”

“And you shouldn’t be driving this late at night,” you retort easily, kicking your feet up on the dash. Azriel’s hand comes down over your knee before you can fully prop up your legs, guiding you in a gentle yet stern matter to keep your feet on the floor. You follow his command so that he doesn’t banish you back to the back seat.

He hardly acknowledges you, focusing on the task at hand. Delivering you in one piece to Chicago in time to arrive at all of your scheduled meetings. He will not fail your family a second time.

With his focus pinned on the road, you drink your bodyguard in. His eyes flicker from the rearview mirror to the side mirrors to the windshield in meticulous rotation. You trail your gaze down the straight slope of his nose to his pink, plush lips. You haven’t stopped thinking about his mouth on yours since the desperate kiss you shared in your hotel room two nights ago, and a warm heat coils low in your stomach at the memory, waking you up.

“You look tired,” you murmur, distractedly. He does. The gray circles under his eyes aren’t the only thing giving Azriel’s exhaustion away. It’s in the way he blinks slowly, but forces his eyes wide. It’s in the way he drums his fingers against the steering wheel for something to focus on other than the road. It’s in the empty cup of coffee stacked on his old ones. He’s stopped thrice tonight for a caffeine boost and you slept though them all. He’d be jonesing for another if you hadn’t climbed up into the seat beside him. His entire body is tightened with alert now that you’re here.

He isn’t tired, he’s wired. Three large black coffees might have been too much, but it’s your presence that has Azriel more alert than anything. His skin heats at the feeling of your eyes on him, can feel every movement you’re making from across the console.

He taps his fingers against the wheel to expel the nervous energy. You wonder what’s going on because Azriel’s resolve never cracks like this. Everything was fine when you were in the backseat, asleep. He didn’t have to interact, possibly mislead you. He was free to dig into his mind, overthink every little thing that’s happened between the both of you since this little journey began.

He knows you too well. He has to. He’s read your file, like he does with all of his clients. Somehow, you’ve managed to worm your way into his mind, deeper than a flesh wound.

“I’m fine,” he assures. He rubs a hand down his jaw, the short stubble tickling his skin. He needs to shave.

“We should stop for the night,” you protest, catching glimpse of a sign on the side of the highway that shows that you’re only a few miles away from a town to get gas and sleep.

“We need to be in the city early,” Azriel refutes. He chances a glance over at you. Your arms are crossed over your chest and you’re wearing that stern, determined look on your face that makes his cock twitch in his pants. He keeps himself carefully still. “We don’t have time to stop.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that we stop for the night, Azriel,” you reply. “I was telling you that we are going to stop for the night.”

He should protest, he knows that he should. He doesn’t know anything about this town, if it’s filled with lunatics or people who’d try and harm either one of you for your expenses. The decked-out, expensive SUV is a sign screaming rich.

You don’t remove your glare from him until he veers the vehicle onto the exit ramp.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“I’ll take the chair,” Azriel says, eyeing the single bed in the room. “I won’t be sleeping anyway.”

Your nose scrunches. You stare at the chair for a long second and return your gaze to Azriel’s. The entire point of stopping for the night was to rest, to let the storm that caught up to you play out and hopefully finish the drive with clearer conditions.

Something clenches in your chest. You’re not sure if it’s your heart or your stomach or both.

He won’t sleep because there is only one bed.

“So, you’re going to sit in that chair,” you repeat like you don’t understand. You don’t, and you point to the faded green armchair. The rests are made of a blonde wood and the back of the chair sits so straight that there’s no chance anyone could actually fall asleep in it. “And do what? Watch me sleep?”

His jaw sharpens, the muscles flexing as he clenches his teeth. His hazel eyes follow the point of your finger for a fleeting second before returning to yours.

It wouldn’t be the first time he’s watched you sleep.

“I’ll turn the chair toward the window,” Azriel answers like this is a solution. If it makes you uncomfortable, he will even wait in the car.

The real solution would be for him to get in the fucking bed with you and sleep for a few hours. You saw the stack of empty coffee cups in the car. You saw the strain in his posture, the way he was forcing himself from giving into his exhaustion.

A disbelieving noise crawls up your throat. He’s so fucking stubborn. It’s not like you’re both eighteen and the prospect of touching looms over you. No, you’re both adults. You’ve seen him sans clothes, even if it was an accident, and Azriel has been in the room with you during fittings with designers your father fully didn’t trust. He may have been turned toward the window, you toward the mirror, but there was always the thrill that maybe he’d peek over his shoulder, give you a long once-over, that maybe some sort of want would infiltrate his hard, hazel eyes.

You’ve imagined it more than once.

“Azriel,” you scold. You busy yourself with moving your luggage to the empty desk in the corner. The table wobbles as you set your things on it, but it stays upright. You quickly move back toward the bed and tug the blankets back, doing your best to reign in your cringe as you think about the possibilities of what could have gone on in this dingy motel room on the side of the interstate. You’re used to luxurious, five-star hotels catering to your every need, not rundown motels that reek of mothballs and crime.

Ghosts. Are there ghosts?

“We stopped here specifically so you could sleep,” you try to argue, but you sound distracted, and Azriel’s gaze snaps to yours, his shoulders straightening like he’s going into protective mode.

He catches you staring dazedly at the bed. Your fingers are curled tightly into the blankets, lips pressed together tightly. Your chest is rising and falling more quickly, and he rounds the bed, coming to your aid.

Azriel knows the life you’re used to living. What you must be thinking about a place like this. He could say something mean, mention how spoiled you are, how it’s just like the hotels you usually stay in, minus the amenities. He wants to tell you that people have done worse things in nicer rooms, especially the ones you tend to stay in, but he knows that your frozen features are due to something else, a dark memory that edges up every once in a while.

“Let me get you some fresh blankets,” he murmurs. His hand comes down around your wrist gently, drawing you slowly from your daze. The heat of his body sears through the thin fabric of your pajamas, and you latch onto that as you squeeze your eyes shut and force the memories away.

“No,” you choke, sounding much more put-off than you’d like. Azriel knows your past, you remind yourself, he knows everything about you, this isn’t you looking weak. You’re only human. “It’s fine, I—” you swallow roughly as a smatter of red conjures behind your eyelids. You try hard not to flinch, but it’s there, the blood on the walls like some fucking mural.

You look down at your hands, painted with the same crimson. Your clothes, and as you drag your eyes up to the bed—

“Hey,” Azriel snaps, hand planted firmly on your cheek, tearing you from the awful memory. You blink and your eyes latch onto his worried hazel ones. You didn’t even notice Azriel turning you around, how your hand went from clutching the sheets to fisting in his black button down. “You’re not there, you hear me?”

You nod because your throat is too tight to do anything else. Tears brim your eyes and Azriel wipes an escaped drop that drags down the apple of your cheek. His touch is too soft, too tender.

You pull away, ripping yourself from his hands. You turn toward the bed and don’t allow the dreadful recollection another thought. You slip between the sheets and try to hide your trembling movements by tugging the blankets all the way up to your chin.

You can feel Azriel’s presence behind you. You always can, whenever he’s in the room. It’s like the two of you are magnets. There is an attraction to him that you can’t place.

He knows that you won’t be sleeping now. That the harrowing memory of what you’ve been through lingers in the surface of your mind and if you should fall asleep, it will only haunt you worse.

Azriel’s known about your past, the terror that you’re trying so desperately to run from, to forget. It chases you like death is on your heels, ready to grip you with its bony fingers and drag you into the dark. He’s been briefed on how you might respond when the trauma inevitably claws its way back, but this is his first time experiencing it happening to you. How it grips you around the throat and threatens to consume you.

His jaw aches from grinding it so tight. The one thing that he can’t protect you from is the one thing he wants to protect you from the most.

He has a job, and this is part of it, he tells himself as he kicks his shoes off.  

“Shove over.”

“What?” You ask, confused. You peer over your shoulder to see Azriel shrugging off his jacket. It leaves him in a black t-shirt that clings to his body exactly the way you want to. You never thought you’d be jealous of a piece of clothing, yet here you are. You carefully tear your gaze away.

“You need to sleep and I know your stubborn, spoiled ass isn’t going to do it if I’m not doing it with you” he pauses. That sounded so fucking wrong, but Azriel trudges on. “So, shove over.”

You fight the smile that threatens to curve your lips at his comment. If it was coming from anyone else, you’d be offended, but you know that Azriel doesn’t mean it as anything other than a joke. You scoot further toward the edge of the bed, shivering at the cool sheets. Your goosebumps only prickle further when Azriel’s weight hits the mattress, and the warmth of his body washes over you.

You try not to let your breathing shallow as he settles himself in. He’s not even touching you, for Mother’s sake, and yet you’re responding as if you’re a teenager lying beside her childhood crush.

“Don’t think about it,” Azriel’s voice startles you.

You might smile at the rough demand in Azriel’s tone if you weren’t feeling like you were standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for someone to come up behind you and shove you off.

“Easier said than done,” you mutter. When the light flickers out, your body locks, and the memory explodes in your mind like a fucking gunshot wound.

“I said, don’t think about it.” Azriel’s voice is a gruff command in your ear, snapping you back into reality. Your heart is pounding against your ribcage, and you can hear the struggle in your lungs as you try to gulp down what little air makes it through your constricting esophagus.

Hands wind their way around your waist and you don’t have a second to struggle before Azriel tugs you back into his chest, molding his body against your back. A warm, heavy arm is draped across your side, and his hand finds your shaking ones beneath the blankets, offering you a lifeline.

You clutch onto him. Azriel murmurs softly in your ear but you can’t make out the words. They’re in a different language. French or Italian or Spanish, you think. You sure that if he was speaking English, you still wouldn’t understand with the way that you’re focusing on fighting past the demons in your head.

The room is pitch black. You always sleep with a light on, even if it’s just the screen of your phone lighting up the darkness. You haven’t been in a blackened room like this since that night, and Azriel knows it, which is why, with some maneuvering, he turns on the flashlight on his phone and sets it on the bedside table, illuminating the room in an awful white light that has you all but melting into his body.

“Thank you,” you whisper. It sounds much too loud in the quiet of your motel room.

“Go to sleep,” he answers plainly. His bluntness almost makes you smile.

But you can’t go to sleep, and not just because of the lingering aftershocks of your memory. As those slowly eke away, you focus on the feeling of Azriel’s body pasted tightly against yours.

You swear you can feel every muscle that is packed onto his hard body through your clothes. Your ass is nestled against his front, and you want to wiggle oh-so badly, to writhe against him in the hopes of feeling what he’s working with down there.

He’s still fully clothed, you notice. Didn’t think twice about climbing into the bed behind you to console you. You wonder if he’s uncomfortable before realizing that with his military trained past, he must have slept in worse conditions than this before.

Which makes you cringe. Here you were, freaking out about a fucking motel when there are people who are going through much worse. Embarrassment flares your body and you squirm uncomfortably.

Azriel’s arms lock tighter around you, and he tugs you closer. You didn’t think there was a closer, but there is. His breath fans across your ear when he speaks. “If you keep moving like that, we’re going to have a lot more than a blizzard and stiff fucking sheets to worry about.” He sounds callous, but there’s a strain to his tone, one that has all of the fiery feelings in your veins converging between your thighs.

Your movements halt immediately. “Sorry,” you say, but there’s no sleeping now. Not when his words are out there, hanging in the air. That if you kept moving, you’d have a different kind of stiffness to think about. One that you’re much more interested in than the starchy sheets.

You close your eyes anyway, trying to fight off the interest stirring low in your gut. The image of Azriel naked, rolling on top of you drifts into your mind. Your pussy clenches when he slowly parts your legs and flashes you a devious smile before lowering himself between your legs.

Movement has your eyes jolting open. You’re holding your body so tightly that Azriel would be terrible at his job if he didn’t know that you weren’t asleep like you should be.

“Sleep,” Azriel reminds you brusquely. His hand splays across your stomach, his thumb stroking across the soft fabric of your shirt in a soothing motion, or what would be a soothing motion if you weren’t three seconds from creating the foulest dirty thoughts about him or two seconds away from actually doing something about it.

“Okay,” you breathe, trying to force annoyance into your words instead of the arousal that slips out anyway. Azriel’s thumb falters and you swear you feel something against the curve of your ass twitch. Your breath catches in your throat and now you know that the movement against your hind wasn’t a part of your imagination.

The noise you let slip has blood pooling into Azriel’s cock. He refuses to move, refuses to do anything except squeeze his eyes shut and practice the techniques he learned in the Royal Marines to keep himself in fucking check. He promised that after the kiss in the bathroom that he would keep away from you, that this relationship would stay professional only.

Professional feels so fucking far away from this.

You find the courage to whisper. “Azriel?”

He grunts in response, to let you know he’s awake and listening, and you like the sound all too much. “That doesn’t sound like sleeping.”

“I’m not sure that I can,” you admit.

Azriel sighs softly, his breath tickling your neck. “You didn’t even try,” he answers simply, but his fingers begin tracing a soft, soothing pattern across your forearm. You latch onto his hypnotic touch, wishing it would move further south. “Just think of better things. I’m here, and you’ll be alright.”

I’m here, and you’ll be alright. Because he’s your bodyguard, your protector, and he won’t ever let anything happen to you, mentally or physically.

You shut your eyes and think about those words, the soft touch from a man so callous and strong, long until you fall asleep.

[scented-morker]

⇢˚⋆ ✎ Three Ways

The three ways sunghoon tells you he loves you before being able to utter the words… 1.6k words, friends to lovers, fem!reader

Park Sunghoon has never been one for flowery words and declarations of love.

In fact, they often made him quite uncomfortable, and he more often than not would be caught responding to the affection with a thumbs up and hardly concealed cringe.

Thankfully, you were plenty comfortable with the words, 'I love you'. An expert, even, at reminding your friends just how much real estate they took up in your heart.

You were the first person that Sunghoon ever truly believed when you said the words. Sure, he knew crushes were real and some girls probably thought their love was true, but you KNEW him. You knew him, and still deemed him precious enough for your favorite three words.

And even though he knew it was in a platonic way, being able to grin softly and ruffle your hair in response was enough for him.

He knew better than to try to reciprocate verbally, fearful of the avalanche that would come if he let himself be truly honest.

The first time Sunghoon said 'I love you' was with a straw wrapper directly to your forehead.

He'd picked you up early in the morning with a blanket in his car so you could nap as he drove the two of you to brunch at an old diner.

You'd been rambling about a new project when his phone rang the first time, and he was listening to you so intently that he didn't even notice it.

It's hard not to blush when you recognize the intensity of his gaze and the way his ringtone fell on deaf ears while watching you.

You're almost glad when it rings again, giving you a quick reprieve to calm your racing heart while he swipes to decline Jake's call.

Sunghoon lets out a sigh as his screen lights up for a third time, and the annoyance on his face is enough to make you let out a bellowing laugh before snatching it out of his hands.

"Today is my Hoon time, you got him yesterday!"

The amusement is evident in your voice, but it still has Sunghoon's heart doing flips.

The fact that you were feeling protective over your time with him, that you wanted no distractions from being in the messy diner with him while he stared at you and offered little to your conversation. It made his heart warm that even in these circumstances, you were focused on time with him.

A stray beam of sunlight chooses that moment to peek through the blinds of the window next to you and he swears it makes you glow like the only person in the room.

The words are on the tip of his tongue when you hang up on his friend, his mouth open like maybe he'll finally have the courage to say it.

You catch him staring, looking up with confusion in your eyes, the twinkle of amusement still there.

You raise an eyebrow at him as a couple beats of silence pass, only to get thwacked in the face with his balled up straw wrapper.

"You monster!" You gasp, and his laughter fills the air.

You're sick with the flu the second time sunghoon almost ruins your friendship.

He finds you curled up under the blanket he'd got you for your birthday last year, the one he got specially made with his face on it.

The sight is ridiculous enough that he would have laughed if you didn't look so miserable.

“I told you this was gonna happen. You should have stayed home yesterday.” He scolds, stepping closer to place a gentle hand against your forehead.

He frowns at the heat of your skin, your fever putting up a valiant effort against the medication you had recently taken.

You pout when he leaves, and it’s still there when he returns with a cold rag in his hand.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

He plays it off as annoyance, but it’s really a cry for help because when you look up at him with shiny eyes and pouty lips it makes him want to say things he shouldn’t.

“I thought you were leaving me.”

His squeezes the rag in tandem with the clenching of his heart, and kneels down on the floor next to your bed.

“I’d never leave you like this.”

His voice is soft as his touch when he places the rag on your head, trailing a finger from your forehead down past your temple and along your cheek.

Your fever has you too delirious to question his actions, continuing to stare up at him like he was the cure to your sickness.

His breath falters as his index finger brushes against your lip, and he knows he needs to look away before he does something stupid.

He settles for poking against the corner of your mouth, pushing it up to resemble the grin you so often wear, and he finally succeeds in removing his eyes when you let out a breathy chuckle at his antics.

“There she is,” he whispers.

“Promise to stay?”

He nods, never having the strength to tell you no.

“Promise.”

It’s like a weight lifted off Sunghoons shoulders when you’re finally back to yourself, no longer “on your deathbed” as you’d so dramatically called it.

“You’re not sick anymore yn, so you have no reason not to come.” Jay says into his speaker, and sunghoon just knows you’re whining on the other side of the phone.

The boys had planned a get together for Jake’s birthday, and while you were plenty fond of the Australian boy, so were plenty of others. Which meant that you would inevitably be stuck in a room with FAR too many people for your liking.

Sunghoon always lets you stay by his side, but you could only take so much of sitting on the couch and pretending not to notice as fifteen different girls try to approach him while you pretended to be interested in literally anything else.

Not to mention, the past week had been so draining trying to get back into a routine and catch up on everything you’d missed while sick.

“No excuses, see you in ten!”

Sunghoon rolls his eyes as Jay hangs up on you, your groan being instantly cut off.

“Do you think she’ll come?” Jake asks, eyeing the man that knows you better than anyone else.

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, “yeah. that was her groan of acceptance that Jay just hung up on.”

Jay pumps a fist in the air as Jake laughs at the discovery that his friend knows you perhaps a little too well.

Fifteen minutes later you make your way into the living room, seeing your three friends sitting on the couch surrounded by people you don’t know. You’re not in the headspace to meet anyone new tonight, and a quick scan reveals the three boys were the only of your friends present.

You let out another groan, this one being in disappointment.

Almost as if he sensed it, you see Sunghoon’s head turn to where you’re standing.

The smile that graces his face instantly comforts you, and you return it with only slightly less enthusiasm.

He waves you over, and you steel yourself for discomfort as you approach the crowd.

However the only thing you hear when you get there is the sound of your best friend’s voice.

“I saved you a spot.”

You heave a sigh of relief as he scoots over to give you an opening right next to him, and he quickly flings an arm over your shoulders as you settle in.

You breathe in the smell of his cologne and melt into his shoulder.

“Thank you.”

Anyone else probably wouldn’t be able to hear you, but Sunghoon has always been fine tuned to your voice.

“Of course.”

He lets you sit in silence against him while the boys continue talking and joking.

You’re on the verge of falling asleep right in the middle of the crowd when his breath tickles against your ear.

“Can I take you home?”

You blink up at him curiously, and he explains further.

“You made your appearance, your friend duties are fulfilled. Let’s get out of here.”

You grin and gladly follow as he takes your hand and guides you out of the room after a quick goodbye to your friends.

His hand doesn’t let go of yours even as he drives to your apartment, and you realize just how lucky you are to have him.

“I love you.” You tell him, voice quiet as he flicks on his turn signal.

His face lights up when you say it, and he gives you a quick glance.

“I know.”

You smile, but a part of you feels like maybe he doesn’t.

“I mean it. I love your smile and your laugh and I love that you’re kinder to me than I could ever deserve.”

Your words are getting faster, and you know they’re on the verge of being a confession but you can’t bring yourself to stop.

“You have this way of making me feel cared for and known and i don’t think I tell you enough how much that means to me.”

You don’t realize he’s pulled to the side of the road until you finish talking and realize both of his hands are now clasping your one.

When you meet his eyes you swear he can see straight through you, and you blush furiously while attempting to look away.

Your name on his lips stops you, and you drag your eyes back to his.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

He doesn’t expand, but theres certainty in his voice and adoration in his eyes, and you know him well enough to know what he means.

[ms-demeanor]

I appreciate you starting a conversation about the harms of homeopathy, and I just want to mention that homeopathy/alternative medicine is also largely BS when it comes to treating our pets. A lot of essential oils and herbal remedies are toxic to cats and dogs even in small quantities, but people still try using them as flea and tick prevention because they don’t want to use “toxic” medicine that actually works. CBD isn’t FDA approved for dogs because it’s not been proven to be effective and safe, but a lot of folks have pushed me to try it for my dog because he’s on medication for extreme anxiety. Some folks will seek out animal chiropractors to “treat” their dog’s IVDD or hip dysplasia instead of pursuing pain management or surgical treatment. People think that vets look at their pets and see dollar signs instead of an animal needing treatment and turn to snake oil salesmen instead. It’s maddening.

Yeah that makes me fucking crazy.

@drferox and @why-animals-do-the-thing are great resources on tumblr who have spent a ton of time discussing animal woo in the past; both have slowed down on posting because life is hard and tumblr is tumblr, but both have done a lot of excellent writing about things like animal training, raw pet food, vaccination, and how to be a good human to your pets. If you've got questions about animals, search their archives and you're probably going to find a ton of useful information.

Folks, I swear veterinarians aren't coming for your wallets and they are generally criminally under-compensated for the work that they do. They're brilliant professionals who are driven by passion and fucked by the market.

Sorry i went to go find some studies on dogs and cbd and i ended up finding a reprint of a small study from the american holistic veterinary medical association and I found this on the pdf and i'm going to murder somebody

for those who are not aware young living is an essential oil mlm largely targeting mormon housewives that was started by a man whose child died being drowned at birth in an at-home-water-birthing incident and who himself likely died of cancer he tried to treat with essential oils.

This is one of those things that's like a big flashing neon sign that the study/journal you're looking at is a hot pile of bullshit.

Anyway. Yeah. Research supporting the safety and effectiveness of CBD on dogs is pretty thin on the ground. Your pets depend on you. The choices you make determine their health and wellbeing.

Listening to woo-peddlers who tell you not to vaccinate, or who hype up untested "healthy grain free diets," or who promote and sell cbd in absence of evidence of its effectiveness is putting your pets hands in the health of someone who doesn't care about your pet, they just care about profit.

Also, while I'm here: don't feed your dog grain free foods unless they have a diagnosed allergy, grain free foods can lead to liver and kidney problems, dogs are more omnivorous, not obligate carnivores like cats and grain is not bad for their diet nor unnatural for them to eat, and there are very few brands that have done decades of feeding tests on dogs (Royal Canin, Hills Science Diet, Pedigree, Eukanuba, and Iams) and none of them are Blue Buffalo.

Appeals to nature are extremely common in online woo discussions of pet food and vet care. Your dog is not a wolf and does not need to eat like a wolf. Your cat is not a lion and does not need to claim territory like a lion.

Vaccinate your pets, don't let them wander, feed them tested diets, and listen to your vet's advice on their care.

[the-loosest-moose]

Writer Goal Ask List for a New Year 🎉

Okay, I'll bite (as productive-ish procrastination)!

💖 What is your primary writing goal for this year? Finish WIPs that I had to put on hold because of health issues.

🛳 Are there any new ships you want to write for? (Platonic, romantic, or anything in between.) Just started writing for a new ship - Wolf Pack (HarlanxCyrus)

🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about? Just the ones I recently started (new ship).

🥸 Does anyone in IRL know you write fanfic or original fiction? If not, do you plan on telling anyone this year? I think three friends know at this point. I was anxious to tell them, because I was sure I'd be laughed at.

🥵 Any plans to write steamy or spicy content this year? Always.

👻 Is there a new genre you'd like to write? I'm just starting a mystery, which is new for me.

🦄 Is there a new POV you'd like to try writing? No.

🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals? Consider writing with an outline.

🦖 Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you'd like to return to? Long dead past for me - X-Men (Rogue/Gambit), and no, I am not sharing what I previously wrote. Painful.

🍄 Are there any fandoms you've never written for but want to try? Maybe Arcane (Jayvik, Caitvi).

🌈 What research do you plan on doing for your writing? I have to research what is involved in fighting fires and dealing with potential arson.

✨What's one area of your writing that you think needs the least amount of improvement? Dialogue.

🥕 What's one area of your writing that you think needs the most amount of improvement? Probably world building/describing characters' surroundings.

🫘 Spill the beans. What's a new project you're doing this year? The Hunt (a Wolf Pack - Cyrus/Harlan textfic). I think the characters could be fleshed out in really juicy ways (sexual and otherwise), and there's a lot of potential for hidden angst.

🥳 How are you going to celebrate when you achieve one of your writing goals? Ha, I love the idea that I will achieve a writing goal. I will experience surprise.

🎃 Do you plan on writing any seasonal fics? No.

🐾 Do you plan on writing for any fests or competitions? No. I struggle with writing when there is an external goal/deadline. NaNoWriMo was a nightmare for me.

✍️ Which stat matters most to you (if at all!): subscriptions, kudos/favorites, comments, bookmarks, word count, or hits? Probably kudos/favorites and comments. I don't want them to matter, but it is such a joy to hear that someone likes what I've done.

👾 Do you have any "bad" writing habits you want to break? Starting fics without finishing WIPs.

🤖 Are you looking to change your current writing setup? (Or establish one, if you don't have one?) I'd like to do more writing at the library or a coffee shop. Not for pretentious reasons, but because my dogs are very needy, and it's hard to focus at home sometimes. My setup at home would be great if my dogs were busy.

🦷 Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're dreading to write (but is necessary to your plot)? Share a snippet or tell us about it! "Dreading" is a strong word. I am anxious about the next chapter of my Kanthony fic (Keep Looking at Me) - I've had to take a long break, and I'm concerned about continuity/pacing.

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it! I'm actually really excited about the first prose chapter of my Wolf Pack fic - it references a lot of childhood angst and current-day burnout, which appears to be my comfort zone.

🍕Will you be making any changes to your posting schedule (if you have one)? (Or do you want to establish a posting schedule?) Posting schedule? Never met her.

🛏 Is there a new trope you'd like to write this year? Maybe a bit of a spoiler. Mom angst/revenge (related to protecting her children).

🪩 Do you have any "good" writing habits you want to cultivate? Honestly, I don't know that this is a good writing habit. But I trust my instincts about whether something works, and I hope I can keep having the confidence to do that. I'm sure my writing could be better, particularly with a beta reader, but I think my writing turns out the way I want/need it to this way. No one else may agree, but I'm proud I've always had that confidence.

🎉 How are you going to be kind to yourself if you don't meet your goals? I'm learning to put self-care first. It's been like crawling through broken glass to get back here - psych hospitalization, learning to walk again, you name it. I'm using DBT skills, exercising, and preemptively taking care of myself. That will happen regardless of how writing goes.

💌 Are you willing to take requests or prompts for writing? Yes, BUT. I don't think anyone would benefit. I have a really hard time writing when I *have* to - maybe it is demand avoidance, but I've really struggled with this in the past. I'm willing, but I don't have a lot of confidence in my ability to do it well. The stories seem to want to write themselves in the order/way they want to be written, so it doesn't feel like I get to choose when/what happens. That makes prompts harder for me.

Writer Goal Ask List for a New Year 🎉

These writer asks are always so fun to both ask and answer. Fanfic or original fiction writers, reblog away! These are asks based in new goals for a new year.

💖 What is your primary writing goal for this year?

🛳 Are there any new ships you want to write for? (Platonic, romantic, or anything in between.)

🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about?

🥸 Does anyone in IRL know you write fanfic or original fiction? If not, do you plan on telling anyone this year?

🥵 Any plans to write steamy or spicy content this year?

👻 Is there a new genre you'd like to write?

🦄 Is there a new POV you'd like to try writing?

🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals?

🦖 Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you'd like to return to?

🍄 Are there any fandoms you've never written for but want to try?

🌈 What research do you plan on doing for your writing?

✨What's one area of your writing that you think needs the least amount of improvement?

🥕 What's one area of your writing that you think needs the most amount of improvement?

🫘 Spill the beans. What's a new project you're doing this year?

🥳 How are you going to celebrate when you achieve one of your writing goals?

🎃 Do you plan on writing any seasonal fics?

🐾 Do you plan on writing for any fests or competitions?

✍️ Which stat matters most to you (if at all!): subscriptions, kudos/favorites, comments, bookmarks, word count, or hits?

👾 Do you have any "bad" writing habits you want to break?

🤖 Are you looking to change your current writing setup? (Or establish one, if you don't have one?)

🦷 Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're dreading to write (but is necessary to your plot)? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

🍕Will you be making any changes to your posting schedule (if you have one)? (Or do you want to establish a posting schedule?)

🛏 Is there a new trope you'd like to write this year?

🪩 Do you have any "good" writing habits you want to cultivate?

🎉 How are you going to be kind to yourself if you don't meet your goals?

💌 Are you willing to take requests or prompts for writing?

[rafesbangs]

back again with some more sub-stepbro!rafe & mean-stepsis!reader .. thinking about how he’d practically beg her (pathetically) to have sex with him and/or jerk him off … so she does exactly that, but overstims him until he’s at the point of tears ໒꒰ྀི˶˃ᆺ˂˶ ꒱ྀིა

sorry it took so long to answer this! i was away for new years but im back and getting back into it now <3 i hope i don't disappoint !

req! 𝜗𝜚 mean-stepsis!reader gives sub-stepbro!rafe what he wants... at a price

c!w; mdni !! step-cest, desperate sub!rafe, mean/dom!reader, teasing, 'unprotected' sex, p in v, oversimulaton, degradation, humiliation, size kink, cream pie, rafe is referred to as 'good boy' once lol.

notes; sorry if this isn't great ! i literally just got back from a trip with my family over new years so i'm a little tired and i'm just getting back into writing again <3

you were walking around the house in the middle of the night, nothing but panties and a t-shirt on, everyone was asleep so it's not like it mattered. you assumed everyone was asleep until you passed rafe's bedroom.

the door was barely ajar but you could hear him groaning lowly in frustration, maybe he was playing a game or something and it wasn't going well? you shrugged and pushed open the door to find him with his pants pushed down to his thighs, semi-hard cock in hand with his phone by his side clearly lowly playing some porn he'd found.

you both got a small fright when you realised what you were looking at, but a cocky smirk slid across your features as rafe furrowed his brow and his cheeks went red. he tore a pillow from behind him and covered himself nervously.

"having some trouble..?" you taunted, now stepping fully into his bedroom and closing the door. rafe was sweating bullets, exhausted from trying to jerk himself off for almost an hour and not succeeding and extremely tense from your intimidating presence in front of him.

you slowly inched closer to the end of his bed, still smiling. he turned his phone off and shakily ran a hand through his greasy hair, "wh-what're you doing up?"

you shrugged, now climbing onto the bed slowly on your hands and knees, it was so easy to make him so flustered. he squirmed a little when you brushed his leg as you made your way up to him.

"so pathetic... you've probably been at this for so long" you said with a scoff as you took his phone from him, trying to see what he was watching which was evidently something to do with a blonde step sister, she didn't look too far off from you but she was definitely missing your tits.

"i need... i need help... please" he almost whispered, your head perked up and you looked at him through your eye lashes. "what was that?"

he sighed heavily, sexual frustration seeping through his tone, "please.. please, i need it. let me be inside of you please..." his eyes were glossed over as if he were about to cry.

you scoffed and dropped his phone somewhere on the bed before straddling his thighs, you put your hands on the pillow that was still covering his cock and before long your hands were on him. "rafe, you're gonna have to tell me what you want? speak properly."

his chest was pumping with every breath, eyes fixed on the way your hands slowly pumped his cock, "uhghh... please ride me i need to be inside of you, pleasepleaseplease" he groaned, reaching out and grabbing your wrist.

you taunted him with your smile before one hand let go of him and snaked over your clothed pussy, rafe gulped as he noticed the wetness soaking through as you played with yourself a little before pulling the panties to the side.

"you want this big cock inside me?" you said sweetly, now on your knees and hovering menacingly over rafe's leaking tip. he was rock hard, you knew you were the only thing that had that effect on him.

he was practically drooling as he gazed down at the space between you, with mouth slightly ajar to accompany the pure bewilderment on his face.

you sunk down on him slowly, groaning a little as you got used to his size, he might be pathetic but his cock was still huge. a combination that easily made you let him stuff you full again and again.

he whined when you bottomed out and wrapped your arms around his neck. "don't- can't move for a second... i'll-"

"shut up and don't you dare cum yet. i just fucking slid it in" you snapped with a smirk before deciding to slowly grind back and forth. his large hands instantly connected with your hips, gripping hard as he tried to hold back from how tight your cunt was squeezing him.

"nghh... you're so tight, fuck... please don't stop" rafe whimpered as his eyes rolled back, he had died and your pussy was heaven.

"you're soo pussy whipped hm?? so hard over your step-sister's wet pussy" you sighed as you began to bounce up and down, rafe's jaw was going slack and his grip loose as he grappled for control over his own release but to no avail.

"y/n...oh! fuck please i'm gonna cum- please let me cum? please?" he begged, hands panted at a hip and your waist. you grinned at rafe coming apart underneath you, he was so out of his mind drunk off the feeling of being inside you.

"mm, yes cum inside of me, you've been a good boy" you hummed, hands stroking his tense and toned chest. his lips parted and his body tensed up as his cock twitched inside you before a guttural groan escaped his lips, his thick cum spilling into you.

but you weren't yet done with him.

he attempted to hold you still as he finished but as soon as you felt the hot stickiness inside of you, you continued to bounce on his cock, rolling your hips as much as you could.

rafe looked at you with panic in his eyes as he started to shake, "'s too much- ughh! fuck... please-" he groaned, tears beginning to spill from his eyes.

you kept riding him, milking him for every last drop and making sure to lift nearly completely off his dick only to take him all the way in again. he had cum a for a second time in tears, almost directly after you'd let him and was now limp against the headboard of his bed.

you giggled at him, "so pathetic, you wanted to be inside me so bad and you could barely handle it. look how much cum there is"

he lifted his head up to look down between you as you rose off of him, holding yourself steady above him you watched as some his thick cum leaked out of you. he was completely mesmerised and too fucked out to realise it was all over his pelvis now. you grinned and slid his tip though your folds, playing with his release with a giggle only causing him to twitch again with little whimpers.

finally you swung your leg over and readjusted your panties to cover the sticky mess spilling out of you. rafe watched you intensely.

"i'm tired," you called, walking to his bedroom door before opening it, "good night rafey." and there you left him, with tear stained cheeks and cum stained sheets.

[zerocoded]

summary: headcannons about what is like do date xavier.

authors note: i promise to you i am a zayne girlie through and through but xavier has been testing me lately damn. so this is my xavier bias wrecker appreciation post.

warnings: freak xavier because that is what he is • a little bit of nsfw headcannons • minors, pls do not interact

word count: 0.6k

☆ dating this man is so diet pepsi coded you cannot tell me otherwise.

☆ personally i think he is the prettiest and most innocent-looking among them. what you can affirm though is that he is not innocent at all.

☆ his voice timbre? perfect for you to enjoy calmness during the day and little grunts when you are making him feel good at night.

☆ if you have sensitive ears or get easily startled, this man is the perfect match for you.

☆ funnily enough, i think xavier cracks dad jokes in the most random places. while you both are fighting, for example, he likes to distract you with his little jabs and comments.

☆ expect little arguments about him putting himself on the line to protect you during a fight. you know you are capable, he knows you are capable, still it is an instinct for him.

☆ bro is JEALOUS. in all caps. like he is the type to interrupt you during your rant because you mentioned ONE male name he hasn't heard before. he is like that tiktok audio "you know other men!?".

☆ lumiére? he is jealous of him too. and every time he catches you asking jeremiah about anything related to his alter-ego, he stares at you with crossed arms and an angry face that you need to praise him nonstop for a whole ten minutes to compensate.

☆ alexa, play jealous by nick jonas.

☆ if you are a hunter like him and he gets injured during a fight, this man will act so reluctant about going to the hospital that you almost have to drag his body to get himself properly treated.

☆ if you are the one who's hurt though? xavier would likely be silent the whole way to the infirmary blaming himself for not taking the hit on time - your hit.

☆ "xav, it's not your fault" "..." "stop blaming yourself for something that is normal in our line of work" "...", - bro would only speak when he sees that you really need his nursing or when you are finally taken care of. still, he blames himself.

☆ man has a thing for thighs and is so blatant about it. like he would WORSHIP your body - regardless of what it looks like.

☆ if you have thick thighs, he would probably never leave them alone. restaurant? his hands are gripping them. are you both watching a movie at home? his fingers are buried between them. favorite place to take an afternoon nap? your thighs. you are his personal pillow and you just have to deal with it.

☆ if you are more on the petite side, bro would have a hyper fixation about the fact that he can wrap his hand around your thighs and completely envelope them (have you seen how big his hands are?). like he would be staring at his hand on it in the most inappropriate places and would instantly get hard. you would look at his bulge and stare at him with your cheeks flaming hot. "are you serious?", you would say to him, "give a man a break", and he wouldn't look ashamed at all.

☆ xavier has a potty mouth but is so slick with it. like his voice is so serene that the majority of the time nobody hears his constant "fuck" "suck my dick, andrew" "fucking hell i want to sleep" at work.

☆ when you caught him for the first time, you would be so surprised and he would be so embarrassed his ears would turn pink.

☆ speaking of work, expect him to seize every opportunity to send you a kiss or whisper dirty things in your ear when everyone is busy around you. he also has the habit of placing his hand on your bum when no one's looking. you would fake hit him and he would go on about his schedule like nothing happened.

☆ one time simone caught you both trying to poke each other's ass and sent you the most offended glance a person can muster.

☆ i'll leave it here, for now, byee.

author's note: i have not been the same since i saw him getting jealous of HIMSELF in that card. i will probably make another one of this with more nsfw content. send me a request • my masterpost

[will-0-w]

mdni

dbf!toji being invited to your dad’s annual new year’s eve party, and of course you couldn’t miss the opportunity to also tag along as well. your father’s house was soon bustling with people, mainly close friends or family.

dbf!toji spotting you from across the living room and walking over to greet you, telling you how much you’ve changed since the last time he saw you. he also noted how pretty you looked in your little dress, how your eyes sparkled or they way you licked your lips subconsciously, but those thoughts were never voiced out loud

dbf!toji and you sneaking away into the spare guest room a couple hours later, making sure nobody saw either of you before shutting the door behind himself. as soon as the door shut his hands were all over you, lips interlocked and tongues entwined, dancing a dangerous dance

dbf!toji stripping you out of your dress, eyes widening as he sees nothing underneath it. he smiles slyly, “no panties or bra? you’re bold.” he licks his lips as you lay back on the bed and spread your legs, giving him a perfect view of your soaked folds glistening under the moonlight that shone into the room directly on your naked figure making you look absolutely ethereal

dbf!toji, already half hard just from your previous encounter earlier, feeling himself grow achingly harder when you spread your folds with nimble fingers and watches as your wet juices trickle down and onto the sheets. palming his bulge over his white sweatpants, “dirty slut, you see what you do t’me?” with deft fingers he quickly strips his own clothes until he’s only standing in his boxers, finger hooking into the waistband and slowly pulling them down as his fat, aching cock slaps against his toned abdomen. he groans as the air in the bedroom hits his bare body, a small bit of pre making his angry, red tip glisten

dbf!toji walking over to the edge of the bed, leaning forward and running a thick finger over your wet slit, feeling your slick coat his finger making you shiver in delight. “shit.. you already this wet, doll?” he grins as you nod shyly, “dirty, dirty girl.” his words are so crude yet they seem to make you even wetter and you whine as he removes his finger until, slap! his palm delivers a harsh slap to your pussy making you almost whine out too loudly, “she’s so fucking wet.”

dbf!toji teasingly sliding his hard cock over your soaked cunt, the feeling alone making you bite back your moans. he slowly slides himself into your wet, gummy walls feeling them grip him as he slides out momentarily before plunging back in harshly, groaning loudly above you. as he leans over you to grip your wrists in one large hand above your head, whispering the most dirtiest obscenities into your ear, “fuuuck y’hear her, baby? so fucking wet, fuuuck.” he’s loosing his mind at how good you feel, wrapped so snugly around his fat cock, heavy balls slapping roughly against your ass with every thrust

dbf!toji is sloppily fucking you into the mattress of the bed, both of his large hands holding the underside of your thighs now, folding you into a mean mating press and grunting out stuff like, “look at you, going dumb on my cock” and “dirty fucking girl, what would your daddy think? his perfect little girl getting fucked by his best friend.” but you both are way past the point of caring as to what would happen

dbf!toji rolls his hips up into you and from this angle his leaky tip is repeatedly kissing your g spot making your eyes roll back in white hot pleasure, him then placing the rough pad of his thumb into your mouth, making you look directly into his eyes

dbf!toji finally spilling his warm seed into your cunt after a few more rough and sloppy thrusts of his hips, you cry out soon after as you gush all over his cock. he rubs your sensitive clit to prolong your feeling of pleasure a little more. chuckling above you at your fucked out expression he softly coos at you, “we should probably head back down ‘for your dad notices we aren’t there.” as you both cleaned up and dressed quickly, managing to sneak back into the living room just in time. throughout the night you both shared subtle glances and winks keeping out of the watchful eye of your unsuspecting father.

[toorusmu]

Theres a lot of boyfriends out there, which one are they ?

Multi Chara, Haikyuu, Fluff

Best Ever !! Honestly, your friends are tired of hearing about how great he is. When you asked for his phone password out of curiosity, he just have you a strange look. "I dont have a password ?" Every time you split a snack, you got the larger piece. While walking down the streets, hed interlock your fingers and make sure you weren't close to the road. He'd always place his hand over the edges of counters to block your head from hitting it, and he always saved hot water for you.

You met his family early on, and they adore you ! Hes open and accepting about whatever family situation you have, and is comfortable waiting or being unable to meet your family. Your safety and happiness are his top priority when hes with you, and hed do anything to make you feel better.

- Sugawara, Ukai, Ennoshita, Akaashi, Kita, Sachiro, Aran, Yasufumi, Daichi, Iwaizumi, Osamu

Cuteeee !! Hes great, just a little shy and sometimes awkward. Hes on the path to become the best boyfriend, hes just new to all of this. His hands get sweaty easily while holding hands, but he never wants to let go. Under thick blankets during winter, or with a blasting AC in summers wrathful heat, he finds solitude in clinging to you.

Small gifts and pressed flowers, homemade snacks that started out tragic and slowly got more edible. Winking at you during volleyball, "This is for you !" right before his failed serve hit the net. Looks at you like a lost puppy, always following you around.

- Hinata, Inuoka, Takeda, Atsumu, Komori, Bokuto, Lev Haiba, Tadashi, Goshiki, Asahi, Hisashi, Kuroo, Hanamaki, Kindaichi, Konoha

Quite, for sure.. It can be a bit hard to communicate with him, its just too hard to tell what hes thinking ! Unless you directly ask, he'll bottle everything up. Hes not terrible, of course ! You know hes not the type to date someone he doesn't like, he just has trouble showing it. But in his small ways, he does.

Sticky note doodles and letters, getting embarrassed after accidentally ranting about volleyball or any other interest, giving you the first and last bite of everything, driving you or walking with you everywhere. If youve been dating for a while, he often prefers to show his affection through soft, quiet, touches. Petting your hair, tracing your hips, scratching your back, he needs his hands on you.

- Kenma, Kageyama, Ushijima, Sakusa, Suna, Nobuyuki, Aone

Kinda meaaaaan ! Like.. yea.. you guessss you love him (jkkk!!?), so why does he need to tease you so much ! If you're shorter, hes always using you as an armrest or bumping into you on purpose because he 'couldnt see you.' You make one mistake, and suddenly you're a "dumbass" or a "silly idiot." Rarely does he ever actually insult you, but its been an ongoing mission of yours to get his hardass to be a little romantic for once.

And of course, he has his sweet moments, but come the next day. "You look like shit." Whether you bicker back, turning it into a play fight, him never letting you win, enjoying the way he had you pinned down. Or, you could smile at him, you had his shirt on and his favorite pair of shorts, hair freshly conditioned and makeup still light and unsmeared. You knew, as much as he loved to be a bully, all it took was a soft smile for him to melt.

- Tsukishima, Yaku, Mad Dog, Kunimi, Hoshiumi

Um.. hes a little weird !! It probably took a minute for you to introduce him to your friends and family. You never knew what he was about to do or say, he always did something different or odd. Whether it be borderline scary or straight up stupid, it was one of the things you loved about him. All things considered, he was absolutely hilarious.

He eventually became like a son and friend to those close to you. Not a lot of people understood him, and as unserious as he is, he genuinely is thankful you not only stayed with him, but gave him friends and family too.

- Shohei, Tendou, Nishinoya, Tanaka, Oikawa