#there's more reactions of me losing my shit
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How bunnyprincess!reader and Rafe met!!
inspired by @rafesangelita @princessbrunette
Rafe always came to the country club on the weekends and on Wednesdays to play golf with his friends. He wore a polo every time and always had his shoes shined pristine. Rafe usually ended up winning and afterwards he’d go inside to sit by the bar or swim in the pool.
After a long and tedious match, Rafe ended up losing. He wasn’t completely locked in on the match due to the argument with Rose this morning.
Walking inside and huffing a sigh, he took off his shirt and slouched in the lounge chair with Kelce and Topper joining him. Rafe ran his hand through his sweaty buzzed hair and used his shirt to wipe his head. He closed his eyes, zoning out the stupid conversation around him.
his head was fucking pounding and their nonsensical ramblings made him even more and more irritated. pinching the bridge of his nose he sighed as he heard someone walking over to them. probably one of those fucking bartenders, he thought to himself.
Rafe was ready to just up and leave at this point but then he noticed 3 things. He could smell the sweet scent of your perfume. Smelled of cupcakes and the sugar cookies his mom would make. Your voice sounded of honey drizzling. And when he opened his eyes, his lashes flutter at how beautiful you were.
“Hai guys! The usual?” you spoke as you pulled out your notepad. your eyes did a sweep over the three guys in front of you, lingering a bit on him. Rafe was very fucking confused, he’d never seen you before and he definitely would know.
Kelce went to open his mouth but Rafe was faster than him. “What’s your name?” He spoke, sounding a little more angry than he meant to.
“Oh i’m sorry if i interrupted your nap, i just know that these two like to-“ He cut you off once more.
“Forget about it bun, ‘m not worried bout it. last fucking thing on my mind right now.”
you blushed and blinked, wide eyed. You told him your name, pen resting on your lip as you looked at him. He introduced himself to you and stood. he towered over you, which was unusual. being tall yourself, you often felt like a giant compared to most guys on the island.
Rafe smirked at your reaction, a laugh bubbling out his throat. You could sense the God inside him, aching to be let out. Maybe you were a bit dramatic but you’re just a teenage girl!
Stepping closer to you, he put his hand on your hip and turned you so that you were right next to him. He slid his hand to the small of your back, whispering a quick come with me to you before turning around and smiling at the boys.
“Rafe come on! Ya can’t keep stealing the pretty girls.” Topper yelled in exasperation, throwing his hands up.
Rafe chuckled before saying something that made your heart flutter. “You don’t gotta worry bout that no more. I want to keep this one. Make her mine and all that” he replied.
As he lead you away to a table in the corner, he asked you little questions. Mainly about your love life, what you were doing at this bar. “girl like you should never have to work. too pretty for all that shit” He added, watching as you glanced down as if your shoes were the most interesting thing in the world.
his thumb tilted your head up and you looked away nervously. “Hey hey. none of that shit. Look at me.” You did as he said, not wanting to lose his attention. “you should have someone providing for you. So you can do all that girly shit yall like and not worry about it.” He watched as you smiled, eating up your reaction. His tounge darts out to swipe at his bottom lip before he speaks again.
“I could be that for you. All my money just rots in my fucking bank account anyways. You want me to be that for you? Could be your boyfriend. Keep your tummy full, nails done, and make you feel good. Whenever you need it.” His words made you flush, your chest blooming with nerves and anxiety. But in the best way possible.
You nodded, your eyes a bit glossy at the casual dominance. You’d always been one to prefer when people take charge about certain things. And this? it was perfect. “Yea. I’d really like dat Rafe.” You stepped closer, making a move. You placed your hand on his chest and stood on your tip toes to kiss his cheek. “Can you wait for me to finish my shift? It’s over in 30 and I wanna talk to you more” you pouted trying to win him over as you regained your confidence.
“Fuck yea!” he said a little too excited. “I mean, yea yea for sure.” he corrected, nodding his head and he turned on his heel. You watched him walk away, noticing the slight bounce in his step.
#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x reader#outerbanks rafe#sub! rafe cameron#rafe obx#obx 4#rafe cameron obx#obx smut#obx x reader#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx#obx season 4#obx4#outer banks#drew starkey#drew starkey smut
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TOO HOT
nick x oc!jalen
requested? yes
type: one shot ❀ genre: smut ❀ pov: third ❀ wc: 1.4K
pairing: top!nick x bottom!jalen (don’t say shit, it was a request)
summary: in which things get interesting during game night
warnings: established relationship, swearing, oral and anal sex
a/n: so basically i saw this on pinterest and thought it would be fun. jay, i hope you enjoy this, sorry it took so long. happy reading! ❀
“YOU CHEATED!! YOU TOOK A SHORTCUT!” Nick screamed, setting the controller down on the table in front of him.
“WHAT?? NO I DIDN'T!” Jalen says in defense, mimicking Nick’s actions, before leaning back on the couch.
Nick scoffs, rolling his eyes in annoyance, “I DIDN'T SEE YOU THE ENTIRE TIME, J, AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE AT THE FINISH LINE?? CHEATERRRR!” he yells, a smile threatening to form.
The sound of thunder crashed in the background of the couple’s light hearted bickering. It was storming, and the rain was coming down heavily, so instead of going out for their date like they had originally planned, they stayed inside. Jalen suggested that they should have a little game night, and Nick loves a competition.
They were competing to see who could win the most games throughout the night. Currently, the score was 2-2, Jalen securing his second win with this round of Mario Kart.
“You’re cracked,” Jalen laughs, shaking his head as he looks over at his boyfriend who was now laughing along with him.
“Whatever,” Nick huffs, grabbing his phone off of the table. “I’ll find something else to play that will guarantee me a win,” he says as he scrolls through his phone, going from app to app.
“You’re such a sore loser, peach” Jalen laughs as he watches Nick concentrate on finding something, before quickly being shushed by him.
A devious grin spread across Nick’s face as he saw it. Something that would turn the tables on this impromptu game night.
“Look it!” He commands as he leans over to show his phone to Jalen, who glances at it before grinning himself.
“I thought you were finding games you could win,” Jalen chuckles while shaking his head.
Nick frowned at Jalen’s reaction, “And I did,” he replied confidently.
“You seriously think you could hold out longer than me?” Jalen questions, his brow raised in disbelief.
“A hundred percent,” Nick says with certainty, followed by a shrug.
Jalen shakes his head, scooting closer to Nick, his face inches away from him, “I don’t think you could,” he challenges, his eyes glancing at Nick’s lips before meeting his blue eyes again.
“Try me,” Nick responds, his lips brushing against his boyfriend’s as he spoke, and before he knew it, Jalen closed the space between them, kissing him.
Nick kisses back, deepening it, his fist clenching onto the soft material of the couch so as to not touch Jalen, despite how desperately he wanted to. Jalen’s tongue brushes along Nick’s lip, begging for access, and he gains it when Nick moans into his mouth.
The pair make out for what seems like hours, their lips smack together as they whimper and groan. Both growing more and more eager to touch one another, but neither willing to lose.
Nick was close to caving, so he knew he had to do something to get Jalen to cave first. Without warning, Nick hooked his teeth into Jalen’s bottom lip, knowing how much he loved it, and his boyfriend fell right into his trap. Jalen moaned, grabbing Nick's face in hands, drawing him in.
Nick immediately towers over Jalen, grabbing his hands and pinning him down on the couch as he breaks the kiss, a devilish grin plastered on his face when he leaned in and whispered, “You lose.”
Jalen let out a small gasp from the switch, “That’s not fair! You bit my lip!!” He exclaimed in defense of his actions.
“All’s fair in love and war, baby,” Nick says before swiftly pulling Jalen up and over his shoulder, carrying him to their shared bedroom, and tossing him onto the bed, yet careful not to hurt him.
The pitter patter of the rain hitting the roof, and the thudding sound of Jalen’s heart in his chest was the only thing heard as Nick stared down at him, biting his lip. “If I recall correctly…” he pauses, licking his lips. “I get to do what I want,” he states, grabbing Jalen’s chin making him look at him, his thumb running across his bottom lip.
“I guess so,” Jalen says, looking up at the brunette, the dominance evident in his piercing blue eyes.
Nick grins again, “Get up on the bed,” he commands, and Jalen complies, going up towards the middle of the bed. Nick follows suit, his body floating over him as he kisses him hungrily. Nick’s hands roam Jalen’s body as he moans into his mouth, and he swallows them down. He breaks the kiss, chuckling as Jalen chases his lips.
He then strips them both of their clothes, leaving them only in boxers as he hovers over the dread head. Nick’s lips trail from Jalen’s chest down his abdomen, and his breathing labored. He goes further down, running his tongue along the waistband of Jalen’s boxers before pulling them off, and his length springs free. He licks around the tip, then takes him into his mouth, and Jalen’s head falls back.
“Fuck…” Jalen whispered, sitting up on his elbows as he looked down at Nick.
Nick works Jalen’s cock with his mouth, his head bobbing up and down, as Jalen moans uncontrollably, his hand guiding Nick’s movements. After several minutes, Nick pulls off of him with a ‘pop’. He reaches over to the night stand, grabbing lubricant and squeezing it on his fingertips. With his long slick fingers, he intrudes Jalen hole, spreading and curling them. He takes his time working him open, the squelching sound and his boyfriend’s moans making his own cock twitch as a growl escapes his throat.
“Think you can take me, baby?” Nick asks, his fingers still pumping in and out of him slowly, and Jalen just nods in response.
He hums as he removes his hand from Jalen’s body, then gets up to take off his boxers, before hovering over Jalen again as he kisses along his jaw.
“On your tummy,” he whispers in Jalen’s ear and a shiver runs down his spine. Jalen turns over, laying flat on his stomach, and Nick uses his knees to spread his legs open wider. He presses his length against Jalen’s sopping hole before sliding all the way in.
Jalen moans softly when Nick bottoms out, “So fucking tight,” Nick groans as he sets a steady rhythm.
His hips snap against Jalen’s ass hard as he fucks him into the mattress. The sound of their moans and the bed creaking creates a perfect harmony around them.
“Yes! Mm, you like fuckin’ this tight little hole, don’t you? Such a slut for it, so eager to fill me up,” Jalen moaned while looking back at Nick, his eyes threatening to roll back as Nick picked up his pace.
With one hand he grabs a fist full of Jalen’s hair, pulling so hard it lifts him slightly off the bed, while the other slaps his ass cheek repeatedly.
“Watch your fucking mouth!” Nick threatened, deepening his thrusts as Jalen whimpered.
With each stroke Nick’s length brushed against that sensitive spot inside of him, and his body shook. “Shit, Nick…” Jalen moaned, his fingers tangling in the sheets as Nick fucked him relentlessly.
“That mouth of yours isn’t so smart now, is it? Hm?” Nick grunts, as he lets go of Jalen’s hair and he falls against the mattress.
“I-Nnngh, fuck, don’t stop,” Jalen whimpered, his face buried in sheets as he moaned over and over.
The couple's sweat covered bodies continued to mold together as the storm passed. That familiar feeling begin to rise inside of Jalen, and he cried out, “Oh fuck, I’m so close” he warns.
Nick flips Jalen onto his back, wanting to see his face as he comes for him. Jalen’s back arched off of the bed, as he reaches his peak, his body shuddering as he teeters towards the edge.
“I-…Fuckkk,” Jalen moans as he comes over himself, his mouth opened slightly and his eyes rolled back, the sight causing Nick’s release to hit him as well, his hips beginning to stutter.
“Shit shit shit,” Nick groans as he comes inside of him, before collapsing atop of him. They both pant, catching their breaths as they come down from their high.
“Damn, I should let you top more often,” Jalen chuckles as he kisses the top of Nick’s head.
Nick giggles as he rolls off of him, pulling Jalen to his side, as Jalen rests his head on his chest. “Why ruin a good system?” Nick says while shrugging, and they both laugh.
“You’re an idiot,” Jalen says, stealing one of Nick’s most infamous lines, his fingers tracing the stars on Nick’s shoulder.
The soft touch sends a shiver down Nick's spine as he pulls Jalen impossibly closer. He leans his head down before whispering…
“I’m a winner.”
—
✎ signed,
𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝑔𝒾𝓇𝓁 ❀
a/n: chat this will be the last smut for a little while, i’m just not into right now at all. also, got some really cute things planned, so stay tuned. i love youuuu 🩷
🏷️: @muwapsturniolo @luverboychris @freshloveforthefit @sturniolossss @sturniioloslut @ameerahsblog @freshloveee @asherrisrandom @dumbf2ck @maliaforstvrns @nicksbestie @emely9274 @marrykisskilled @ksturnz @colorthecosmos444 @tyummyz @idrk2292 @soursturniolo @nickssidewitch
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolos#sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#n sturniolo x reader#n sturniolo x male reader#nick sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo x oc#sturniolo triplets fanfic#sturniolo triplets smut
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genji's honest reaction to finding out that his best friend has fallen in love with the brother that tried killing him^
live laugh blackwatch cassidy x scion hanzo AU
miscellaneous r76 ft. angel gabe AU because i never see anything for it. the dynamic is great i need ya'll to see it
CRINGE CULTURE IS DEAD
REBLOG OVERWATCH ART IN 2023 😽🫰
#lord forgive me#im back on my bullshit#guys idk how how i got back into this its crazy#one moment i was losing my shit over red dead#and the next i was on this loser activity#also i think adding hyperrealistic images as reactions is top comedy#pogasm i need u to look away please#farts n sharts#overwatch#overwatch more like underwear#reaper76#r76#yeehan#soldier 76#reaper#jack morrison#gabriel reyes#cole cassidy#hanzo shimada#genji shimada#scrib time
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*takes you by the hand as gently as I can*
You can dislike Maya without turning her into a one dimensional villain that serves no purpose to the story.
You can dislike Maya without disparaging the story and message the show is trying to convey.
You can hate Maya without moralizing your hatred. You can just hate her. It’s okay.
#i hear the sunspot#hidamari ga kikoeru#im just so tired of people shitting all over maya because she’s not perfect#she is complex and nuanced and maybe if given more than. oh i don’t know. one episode? we will see the complexity and nuance that is there#we had 7 episodes to learn about how kohei handles losing his hearing and he was offered grace#and i need you all to understand that i also don’t fucking like maya#she is an unlikable character#but thats kind of the point#but everyone’s reaction to her just proves her incorrect point about how people treat others with disabilities#yall can just say she’s unlikable without saying she’s pointless and why is she even friends with kohei anyway#yall can just say she’s unlikable without questioning the entire show#i’m gonna need everyone to take a minute and just think. think about how young she is. think about what she is actively losing#think about WHY she is behaving this way before jumping down her throat because she isn’t the perfect disabled person#and genuinely i want you to sit with my next question for a minute. just sit with it. i don’t need to know your answer#whether its yes or no that is between you and yourself#but i need you guys to think#would you hate maya this much if her gender was swapped?#would you have the same issues with how she’s acting if she were a boy instead of a girl?#again i don’t need to know your answer#but if you think your answer might be no…i want you to examine that#anyway that’s all. be careful how you approach me in talking about this btw. cause i have had it with the treatment of maya#i don’t want to defend characters i don’t like but some of the takes i’ve seen are just plain wild y’all
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listen. my guilty pleasure is those merthur fics where merlin is handed over to foreign lords and they get violent and then arthur finds out and goes apeshit. love it. so fun. but what i think is so funny is that like,,, merlin would punch back. maybe not realistically, maybe he’d restrain himself, but spiritually merlin is throwing hands. i just think its funny bc in like all the fics ive read merlin is the personification of 🥺 over it
#in my heart#merlin takes the punch like a champ before turning around and swinging on the bitch#the lord threatens to report him to the king and (depending on who is leading camelot) merlin has two reactions#uthers reign!merlin: yeah go tell everybody that you got ur shit rocked by a serving boy. go cry like a little bitch to mommy.#im sure theyll love that. youll make a lot of friends like that. no one will think ur weak in the slightest#and then#arthur’s reign!merlin: trust me when i say this - ur getting off easy. if u tell arthur what u did he’ll kill u himself.#take the punch and go. we’re even#TEEHEE 🤭🤭#GET HIS ASS MERLIN#but im also a fan of protective arthur and hurt merlin so no complaints from me#just a silly thought#just bc merlin is CONSTANTLY taking care of arthur. and yeah arthur takes care of merlin (usually in more subtle ways)#but its still fun to see him absolutely lose his shit and protect whats his#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur
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ngl i hope that when Janey appears she's actually older, maybe not like, Shawn levels of old but an adult, i'm starving for a woc protagonist in there and it would be amazing to see her integrate with the main crew while cooper struggles with their new dynamic
ALSO Amandla Stenberg is my current fancast cause i'm still missing The Acolyte :,)
#ABOVE ANYTHING ELSE#GIVE ME A WOC PROTAGONIST IN FALLOUT#I'M SO SERIOUS#...and her and lucy being girlfriends#there i said it#give me sapphics in the wasteland#and cooper losing his shit cause hank's kid likes his daughter#and he has flashbacks about him and barb when they were younger#please see the vision#Janey Howard#Cooper Howard#i'm so fucking curious to what would be his reaction to see her as an adult#i know a lot of people hc her as still being a kid but coming from fallout the concept feels weird to me and unlikely#Lucy Maclean#i refuse to ship lucy with either of the current men in her life i'm sorry im way too attached to her and cooper being parallels#and in a crack induced mentorship relationship#and max... besides shipping him with Dane as a whole i just enjoyed him so much more when he was having his own thing#and dubious rise to power away from lucy#give me BOS EXCELENCE FROM MY BOY AMAZON#too many tags i'm so sorry#imagine janey working with the NCR or maybe the bos chapter in the mojave OR THE KHANS OR FOLLOWERS OR BEING A COURIER OR HOUSE OR OR OR#P'LEASE amazon give the show a woc protagonist...#Fallout prime#maximus
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Undertale yellow flowey embroidery
This took about 40 hours, give or take a few
#I can tell you one thing#Embroidering while having arthritis is really not a piece of cake. When you hand cramps just by holding it at an angle.#At least I can be grateful for my empty schedule#Makes embroidering till the sun rises back up so much easier#Insomnia also helps with this task#I was listening to the ost while working on it and… Live reaction#Occupied turf is so good actually !? Why wasn’t it shown more often !? IT’S FIRE !?#I forgot I only did a pacifist so I got so confused when neutral Flowey came out…#A mother’s love ? Should’ve called this “I’m gonna fuck you up”#The number of time I got my ass handed back to me in this fight is not even funny#The first time is great. The second I only discern my favorites and the sudden change in style. By the third loop I can’t recognize shit#my brain is melting and my eyes are on fire…#Advantages on doing it during daytime. Eyes hurt less. Good stupid tv to listen to in the background Disadvantages. People#Advantages on doing it at night. Alone. Personally work better at night#Disadvantages. No good TV. Time goes by slower…? I don’t know maybe I’m just loosing it with those freaking petals#For reference one petal took me about 3 and a half hours. So yeah… I thought it would never end… Took out almost all my yellow.#When the line tangles itself in the back and you realize only close to the end of it that half went missing#So you have to go backward to entangle it and loose 30 mins because damn it#Cats are not helpful in any of those scenarios#Why do I feel the need to make the back perfect when nobody else but me will know#This is the last time I do one so big without thinking it through#Note to self. Don’t do it standing up when the cats are awake. She just destroyed my stomach#I think i’m losing it#Back after a few weeks#God this white thread is doing my head in… I’m willing to bet my leg half the time I spent on the face was me untangling it.#I’m almost done. It’s finally over. Dark brown took exactly 4 h and 13 mins#undertale#undertale yellow#embroidery#I’m thinking of doing Boris the wolf next. Because I just found the perfect rendition to put on my wall
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Loving the vibe of Izzy and Stede... I won't say their necessarily getting along quite yet, I don't want to jinx it, but like... they're getting along and it's fucking great.
the way he actually tries and help Stede out, in his own way (which is aggressive but very real and upfront, and it clearly shapes Stede), he helps him with the crew and the curse, gives him that little 👌 when he manages to scare the guy with the wanting shot, he stands behind him with the rest of the crew, showing his support of the new captain.
I think he genuinely gives a shit, if even a little one for Stede, and a massive one (though he'll never admit it unless his hand is forced, which I see coming in the near future) for the crew, and isn't just acting like a good dog/right hand. like I think he's genuinely healing, in the best way? absolutely not, but, it's definitely something and I love that for him.
also, him and Lucius getting along, in there own fucked up way, and Izzy giving him the shark and the advice, it's great. (loving the nickname twatty, it's killing me)
#izzy hands#might be slightly delulu#so take this with a grain of salt#cause I just want them to be happy#izzy in particular#I do need to see him lose his shit with Ed though#he's try so hard to move on but that bottles gotta break one of these days#and maybe Stede too#for taking ed back so easy#even with the probation#like “F you for bringing the man thay tortured my crew- me. tortured me back”#like a delayed reaction to the pain of it all#cause when ed came back he was still shit faced and on the tail end of his infection ride#wishful thinking (potentially)#but I want ir#I also need to see more of izzy and jim. I feel likw they deserve an odd trauma bond of sorts#ofmd
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I am stressed, and I am on edge, and I feel like I'm actually, legitimately reaching my limit. It's kinda funny how my mom was the one to push me there
#she seems to think i have all the time in the world#but i don't think she realizes just how much of that time is spent mentally recovering from#or preparing for#something#i also don't think she realizes she is a huge part of the problem#on top of the general school and work stuff#she's been badgering me to do things for a while now#it's cleaning my room#or applying to jobs#or going to church#or reading the bible#it's always something#there's always something im not doing well enough#then she'll go behind my back and make plans involving me without telling me and then blame ME for not being considerate of those plans#she had the fucking gall to say “there's something going on that you aren't telling me”#like no shit it's almost as if any time i talk to you about something you either blow me off or turn it against me#apparently im getting pretty good at hiding when im having a shit time when im not actively trying to make sure the person knows#to the point when i had an actual panic attack before a surgery once it supposedly came out of nowhere for her#like im starting to realize just how disconnected from my life she actually is at this point and i don't think i care to fix it#i shouldn't fucking have to#i shouldn't have to deal with that on top of school. work. my social life. my finances. hygiene. self-care. etc#not when i don't think she's willing to put through any effort towards improvement#not when she's “the grown adult”#not when her reaction to me making a mistake or losing motivation for something is often along the lines of...#“do you want to end up like your father?”#im so unbelievably fucking done#im about ready to give someone more than just a piece of mind. they're about to get the whole fucking mess of a thing.#the best part? this week's all downhill from here#gobby rants
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I'm starting to dread (ha) Dreadwolf, partly because Solas is the main antagonist and I have...... Absolutely no feelings about him at all, actually. The best I can summon is a big old "meh". And if they center him (which it seems like they plan to) and make a big deal about whether you want to kill him or redeem him or stop him or join him... Well frankly I just won't care and I'm worried that means I won't have a damn thing to care about in the game's main plot
I'm also worried that his success or failure at taking down the veil will be preordained since that's too big of a plot line to leave up to the player - there just wouldn't be any way to structure future games to account for that player choice. This is obviously a less well founded worry, but it makes it really hard for me to care about the stakes of the game
Idk I'm not trying to shit on people who are excited for this game (I am too, despite the bitching and moaning) but it's really hard to get excited for a game when the one thing you know about it is so completely uninteresting to you
#Also I'm begging bioware to give us new characters blease#Ugh part of the issue is all I can imagine for the game is you do some mission and Solas shows up and is like 10 steps ahead of you or#Whatever and he gives some longwinded speech and you get two dialogue reactions that don't even remotely resemble#What you character would say and then you do that 6 more times and that's the game!#Don't get me wrong a game where the protagonist loses can be fascinating - I think da2 is actually a great example of this#But given the sheer number of iterations this game has gone through (I believe we're on the 3rd full redesign) I'm worried#I'm worried about the game overall and the main story especially#Again partly because I just can't seem to give a shit about Solas. He just does nothing for me#A lot of people clearly do have strong feelings about him but for me it's just “oh. You again.”#And the fact that the whole damn game is named after him makes me think he's gonna be a main fixture#Sigh#Fingers crossed we get some more info soon and I get something that does grab my interest#Frankly I'm probably being unfair by getting worried about a game when all I know is its title but yeesh it feels like they've been talking#About it forever even though we don't actually know that much about it at this point#da dreadwolf
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yea no i fucking LOVED Nobara and felt personally wronged by her death but bringing her back is.........................not it
#nothing i hate more than killing off a character just to bring them back#so it meant nothing? so the emotional impact it had was pointless?#it just feels cheap. it's the same as the 'but it was all just a dream' trope#doing Whatever to the plot for shits and giggles to get the biggest reaction and rigging it so there are no actual stakes or consequences#jjk ended up being so disappointing to me. i LOVED it earlier on like it was one of my favorites for a while#but the culling games started losing me and when he killed off gojo i just fucking gave up on it
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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nothing to see here
#ok plz i wanna rant about how the new season of good omens is making me lose faith in humanity#girl tell me how ive trudged through 4 episodes of this season and i still dont know what the damn hell is going onnnnnn#every time i think we're getting somewhere with the 'story' the show slams the brakes to let me know that there're gay people on screen#does the coffee shop chick ever apologize to the record store chick bc i cant staaaand their romance.#like record store lady. girl. this isnt banter shes just straight up dissing your passion and life's work.#im scared to finish the season bc i just KNOW theyre gonna pull the whole 'i made u leave ur toxic partner now date me immediately' trope#ok so story beats aside my other gripe is how contrived the queer representation is in this show#i am a bi woman! my reaction to seeing wlw on screen should be 'yay! im happy theyre together' and not 'ugh this shit again?'#and also with az and crowley! what happened to their chemistry from the first season???#like on the one hand the whole 'bickering like an old married couple' schtick is lovely. but. theyre just faffing about most of the time!#remember the first season? when these characters had agency? and a semblance of intuition?#i am convinced that the majority of the characters in this season couldnt find their way out of a paper bag#i get theres a whole memory loss plot device thing happening. but it feels like Gabriel's cluelessness is like fucking infectious or smthn#i feel like an idiot for assuming that the characters i knew from the first season will be just as competent in this season. they arent!#i hated the whole 'continued' story in the wwii era. i feel like it was a pathetic ploy at giving mark gatiss more needless screentime#did they think people would find the nazi zombies amusing or something? why are we playing this off as a joke?#just admit you dont know what to do with the story and move onnnnnnnn#im gonna finish the season bc i feel like im owed the scene of david tennant sucking face with michael sheen.#itll be like reparations for having to slough through the rest of this nothing burger of a story jesuuuuuussss#ok rant over#good omens critical
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i really dont think i actually deserved all that bullshit. the internets traumatized me now at this point and literally no ones gonna care unless my abuser is honest and its so fucking exhausting.
#at this point its my mantra that yall only care about believing the victim you like. if two ppl are accusing eachother you're going#to pick the person you like more. that just seems to be the situation. and its so fucking dumb#all these ppl who call themselves progressive who do this are so fucking dumb#you only want to believe the victim you like and i just dont understand why you're willing to throw me in the trash over a lie#not even CONSIDERING it could be me at all. nah. bc if you had to consider that you'd probably just have to feel guilty for the way you#treated me#but lord knows hardly anyone on this website ever likes to admit they did anything wrong bc they found their safe haven where they can#be an eternal victim and they dont want to lose that#i genuinely think yall are the worst people to walk this earth and you provide literally 0 benefit for anyone else#i have no idea what possesses you to think its okay to treat me this way like at all#how are you so sure. how do you believe them so storngly that you can have this reaction to me#and why do you think its fine#to the person reading this going 'omg hes so dramatic 🙄' i dont think you under fucking stand#humans aren't supposed to have THIS much criticism. our brain isn't used to having criticism from like 200 people like this.#ive lost friend and followers over this situation.i saw someone i thought of as a friend shit talking me on a different site#friends*#theres people irl who wont talk to me anymore#i dont think you understand what that does to someones psyche#imagine you were sent to prison for some shit you didnt do. you might in your heart know you're innocent. but the fact that you're#in prison makes you second guess yourself. and im tired of living by tumblrs rule of law since people on here dont even have#the basic human decency to give due process.#theres fucking people online who accuse me of shit i didnt do or dont believe in all the time on here now and i dont think they#wouldve done it so hardcore had my ex decided to be honest from the get-go#it feels like they know deep down theyre lying so theyre trying to find or even make up more reasons to keep believing im bad#like im sorry i had a messy past and im upset not enough ppl care about trans men#i have no idea how that warrants this response though#and im not like??? bad politically??? like at all??#like when ppl try to find reasons im bad its either disingenuous. a common misconception. things taken out of context.#someone just simply refusing to see my point or perspective in any capacity.#ot its something from my past but even as far as my past goes ppl are extremely hyperbolic about it. i wasnt a fuckin nazi or something
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what the fuck.
#you people are so fucking gay it makes me sick#SHFHSKANSVJSBDDISNSZHXKXVXJWBSNkabajnabBnA#weeping loudly#so utterly horrible#i’ll just die i guess#what the fuck man#AND YOURE TELLING ME THERES SEVEN MORE SEASONS OF THIS SHIT??????#oh my god im gonna lose my mind#live jc reaction
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#sigh#another day another medical gaslighting incident#-.-#i s2g i cant remember the last time i had a consult that wasnt just some dickhead ignoring every symptom / word i said#and then blaming all my chronic illnesses & disabilities on sleep / anxiety / weight / being trans etc#dude wouldnt listen to anything other than the sound of his own voice#and Insisted on putting me on a medication i am not remotely comfortable going on bc of oast bad reactions to similar ones#literally was like 'well u can do what i say or u can just figure ur life out and stop being stressed and sedentary all the time'#BUDDY#a) im disabled. being sedentary is not a choice and becoming un-sedentary is not an option#b) my chronic migraines and fibromyalgia r not because of stress. yes stress can make them worse sometimes#but anxiety does not cause or create severe physical conditions and disabilites. ur ridiculous. this is ridiculous#c) 'fixing my life' will not fix my chronically ill and disabled body. what a wild thing to say who tf gave u ur license#and why do u have a job at a pain clinic that specialises in chronic illnesses and disabilities. tf#d) its wildly irresponsible to insist on a medication that's from a family of meds known to cause bad side effects / reactions in a patient#and then ignore them when they tell u they r not comfortable going on that medication bc of that#and then to refuse to discuss alternatives and demand a 'my way or the highway' approach to care#and end in telling the patient they do not care about their health if they don't blindly do as u say when u dont even know them#fuck u dude#i care more about my health than u do. u have known me for 3 minutes and 20 seconds and barely skimmed my file. fuck Right off#and lastly#e) ur a dismissive discriminatory asshole and there's not a chance in hell i will trust a word out of ur mouth#when all u did in that 5 minute appt (THAT U WERE 73 MINUTES LATE TO) was gaslight tf out of me and blame me for all my disabilities#get fucked bro#ur as much of a shithead as every other doctor i've dealt with at that clinic#like the one who put me on said bad medication which caused me to lose half my hair#and then ghosted me as soon as i called to inform her of that and request a med change. its been 8 months & she still refuses to contact me#i've left over 10 messages. i ended up having to go to my GP and a dermatologist who both said to get off that medication asap#which i did. but the telogen effluvium (hair loss due to meds) STILL hasnt bounced back so now im close to balding bc of that shit doctor#and now u want me to go on a med known to cause that even WORSE just bc u feel like it regardless of my well-being? Nah. no. fuck that 🖕👋
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