#there's a lot of potentially triggering stuff in it
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I have the forcefem meme blog blocked but someone I follow put a post of her's on my dash and she's just straight up saying "this isn't a kink blog, the way I do forcefem isn't kinky" and I swear my brain stopped working entirely for a second. I don't think there's anything wrong with kinks changing with a subculture or community or becoming memes but like. Come on. Forcefem is a kink, that's what it is. I try not to get too worked up about this blog because it's not good for me and my judgement does get clouded by the dysphoria it triggers but like, it really does genuinely worry me the way the meme-ification of forcefem has completely divorced the kink element from what is still very fucking clearly a kink. This whole "I'm not doing it in a kink way" is not a get out of kink free card, and it's a piss poor excuse for going around and flooding this website with kink stuff that now essentially cannot be avoided in trans spaces. No other kink that has like, a potentially sfw angle has a community that acts like this about it, people who do like bootblacking performances where no explicitly sexual acts take place still make it clear this is a kink thing so people can avoid it if they want, and there are huge arguments in furry communities over if you can even do "sfw" vore because vore is a kink even when no traditional sex acts are being depicted. Every other kink community gets that even when no one is fucking, a kink is still a kink and should be treated as such for the safety of everyone, why should THIS be the exception??
Ugh anyway sorry didn't want this to turn into a rant, I really don't think there's anything wrong with doing a fun sfw kind of forcefem with people who consent but like, as a kinky person who cares a lot about kink and BDSM history and communities the blatant refusal to consider forcefem a kink AT ALL is concerning. You cannot un-kink-ify it, this is a kink goddamn it and when you stop treating it as such you open up a LOT of unsafe grey areas on top of making it borderline impossible for people who are squicked out by it to avoid it because no one is going to tag for something they think is a harmless, gender-affirming, tgirl approved meme.
Idk tho maybe I'm letting my own dysphoria get in the way, feel free to check me if that's the case I will take the L with grace, but I just feel like this "It's not a kink when I do it" thing is...in poor taste, at the very least. I don't think it's intentionally malicious either I just don't like it when we stop recognizing that a kink is a kink.
I advocate tirelessly for being able to live BDSM relationships in public to the extent that "normal" relationships are allowed, but what I do not do is say I should get to snap a collar around a random girl's neck and drag her off because it's just a lifestyle. Like fuck off with "it's not a kink," IT IS, and it is NON-CON.
My biggest fan can't shut up about me supposedly calling trans women groomers because I think it's bad for trans men to say they want to cure trans women's "comphet," but you know what's also sexually coercive? Shoving your non-con fetish at people, many of whom are going to have reasons to be outright triggered by it, and then call it fine because it's so totally non-sexual.
SATIRE BEGIN
Well, okay, fine, start making indiscriminate forcemasc jokes at women. It's not a kink! There's nothing wrong with being a trans man! How could they possibly complain?
SATIRE END
That's a rhetorical question too, the answer is that they'd be massive hypocrites about it and say some dumbass shit like "transmascs just invented forcemasc to gentrify our fet I MEAN NOT A FETISH" or "trans men shouldn't care about being forcefemmed because there's nothing wrong with it but being a man is Bad."
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Jessie Lynn McMains - “Deviant / Cool” (from Left of the Dial)
In honor of the Velvet Underground narrowly beating out FOB in Rock Band March Madness, I recorded an audio version of my VU-inspired poem from my most recent chapbook.
The background music is “Prophecy” by Parallel Park, which is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
#jessie lynn mcmains#poetry#spoken word#audio#left of the dial#music#deviant / cool#white light/white heat#the velvet underground#my writing#if you enlarge the album art#you will see i legit made an homage to the cover of vu's white light white heat#i even found the same font they used#bc i am a giant nerd#oh#general cw#for the words of the poem#btw#there's a lot of potentially triggering stuff in it
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Okay time for another review!
Saint Maud. Lemme tell you what.
I screamed twice. I don’t normally but Hoo boy.
Watch out for this one.
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Okay this is something that has taken me years to come to terms with and I just need to get off my chest especially since im not in therapy anymore and honestly only a few close friends know this but talking about it is still hard and I want to be able to better forgive myself and get rid of some of the internalized shame that plagues me because of this, and like, just be more comfortable admitting this fact to myself so I can better heal from it. And I know it’s also triggering to a lot of people so I never feel like it’s ever appropriate to discuss I should have a therapist again maybe sometime. But I’m gonna just say it and maybe delete this later. But I’m a rape + abuse survivor and it’s took me years to even “unlock” this trauma and properly process it. I’ve come a long way but idk I just wanted to get this off my chest because it’s been aching to come out but I also don’t wanna burden people.
#I want to ‘move on’ from this but I’m always gonna have ptsd and complicated triggers and. trying to make peace with that.#idk why it’s been at the forefront of my mind the past couple weeks#maybe because I’m yearning for a long term relationship rn and this is barriers I need to break through#like oh man if I wanna love someone and marry them I have to learn to trust them and take that leap#and the fact that I’m afraid of falling into an abusive relationship again#because as much as I tell myself I’d recognize the warning signs and would leave immediately#I truly will never know what I would do until it actually happens#and I think just the fear of falling for someone and having them turn out to be a scumbag is alone too much#I need to vet potential partners through multiple friend groups or something#my therapist always told me that the reason toxic and/or abusive people try to enter my life is because they can tell I’m vulnerable#like that I’m some sort of easy target because I was a people pleaser and empathize easily#and people realize they can get away with some shitty stuff and take advantage of me since I’m loyal and forgiving#I don’t think I’m like that anymore. I feel like I’m a lot more assertive and like. cognizant of red flags now.#but again… it’s a fear I have#idk what I’m even saying anymore.
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wow!!! nothing better than watching your AO3 subscribers stat go down every time you post a new chapter of your current fic!!!
#/sarcastic btw. i am. Not happy about this recent development#Seven.txt#writing stuff#ao3#like. don't get me wrong i do understand why and i can't fault anyone and i'm not like.. Mad. but it does hurt a lil#but alas. tis the nature of creating and posting things. not everything's gonna be received well and that's fine#it does suck to see a fic i put so much time and effort and love and part of myself into flopping so hard#not because i wrote it for anyone's sake other than my own#but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want people to enjoy the things i create. that's like. a normal and common desire#and i think i maybe killed it before it could get going with how i tagged it and the bigass disclaimer at the beginning#i think those turn a lot of ppl off that might otherwise read and maybe even find that they enjoy it??#but i would rather over-warn ppl for the triggering and non-canon aspects than under-warn them and potentially trigger or upset someone#and i can't blame ppl that subscribed for some Other thing when they open their email and see a notif that i posted smthn#and it's a mile of upsetting/negative sounding tags for a fic abt a guy they either don't know or don't wanna see mischaracterized#and so of course they unsub and that's okay. it's okay.#anyways. enough bitching abt my fic not doing well. i don't have much room to complain!#most of my stuff is fairly well received imo. so i can stand to have a flop fic every once in a while. gotta balance things out lmao#the good thing is it's already fully written so the lack of engagement can't stop me!! there's no motivation to kill! it's done already!#anyways. i'll post a chapter a day as planned and then it'll be out of my system in a week and i can post other stuff again finally#next up will be an [N]MbD oneshot. then i'll finally post the Dew Ghost Band OCD fic. then another [N]MbD oneshot ehehe#and thennn ES Ch.5! fucking finally. i can't wait to continue that story#the Dew fic is a oneshot too btw. once AEIWNF is fully posted then the only multi-chapter project i'll have is ES. and that's Enough
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hypothetically, how could the idea of a 'fult' be redeemed?
being Not Radqueer would be a great start, considering radqueer ideas of consent are. BAD.
having outright a "no authority deserves blind obedience, even [deity] can make mistakes at times. put your gut above all." rule would also make it less of a risk to being an actual cult
keeping the word 'cult' out of everything relating to it would be. Way Less Disrespectful To Actual Cult Survivors.
... I'm just describing some sorta neoreligion and/or weird larp, aren't I?
Quite honestly I do believe “fult” cannot be redeemed. Fult was made specifically for one thing, and separating oneself from such a thing is the first step to not causing harm. Roleplay and/or LARPing are the closest/most similar options that are also safest.
But yes, keeping the word cult away from this would be the best and least disrespectful choice. Simply calling it LARPing would be better, but also removing the whole “follow no matter what” ideas/ideologies often present in “fults”.
Also I believe neoreligions are a “”sub-sect”” (I cannot think of a better word at the moment) of other religions such as Celtic, Pagan, and other such faiths. Correct me if I’m wrong :)
(I feel the silly need to add this: I am not going to shame anyone for having cult related atypical dysphoria!! Also please correct me on ANY of this, I beg)
#( ⛪️ )#➜ talking.#➜ asks.#➜ potentially triggering.#<- i think?#cult mention#I’ve done roleplay and written about some stuff to help myself so I think it’s the healthiest option of dealing with a lot of things#(TLDR for the tag: I’m biased for (safe/consensual) roleplay and writing)
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Tfw you're gonna need someone to Look Over Your Writing, but the writing topic is kinda fucked up and you don't want to traumatize whoever will theoretically be looking at this.
#I mean like. UGH. okay I don't know how to Explain™ my issue without ACTUALLY explaining this. but. idk it's not. like...'dead-dove'#levels of Fucked Up™. but it's still A Lot and covers something a BUNCH of people are gonna be wary of probably#(at least according to What I Have Witnessed) so. eh??#like it's in this weird place where it's probably not a serious enough exploration of this topic to be 'acceptable' to a certain crowd#and I don't think it would be fair to label it full-on Darkfic™ but it's still MESSY#and don't get me wrong I'm going to finish and (eventually) post it anyway because it's my idea and I want to do that but. jfc it would#help to get another pair of eyes#but I can't exactly be like 'hey would you like to evaluate my story about [incredibly fraught and potentially triggering topic]?'#like I feel like. I shouldn't just. ask that. without preamble.#ALSO this is a much different kind of 'fucked-up' than people usually write for this pair (if they write fucked-up stuff at all)#(and like...again. in the grand scheme of things. this probably isn't really actually that fucked-up. it's just. A Lot.)
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hm. i am attempting things
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#dont look too closely i need to fix a lot of stuff#potentially even start over but thats a tomorrow lian problem#anyway so thinking up names for the cc pack i mentioned#silly little things like quicksilver or trigger happy. no reason#lian blabs
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((I need to outline this properly on my main page but please note that private and request only muses are completely different beasts in regards to this blog.
Private muses, while also request only, are generally very extreme, very triggering characters and I won't write them with someone who doesn't understand that, how I write them and handle the topics surrounding them, etc. Extensive ooc communication is necessary before interacting can happen.
Request only muses are more like the general muses on offer but my muse for them is finicky/particular, I might have a hard line or two concerning the source material, etc. Ultimately it's much easier to interact with the request only muses compared to the private ones.))
#;;ooc: mun muttering#this blog in general has A Lot of triggering content and characters (as og followers will know)#and I approach everything with care and objectivity; both in a general sense and in regards to my writing partners#I encourage any questions about any of this whether you're new or not#*especially* if you recognize the muse I'm potentially adding to my priv list#because I have to outline some big dos and don'ts content wise before ANY writing is done#right now he's strictly iykyk and I'm still hashing things out over on discord#rest assured that my care and objectivity regarding all tw content and etc remains at the forefront#and while my general muse list has a lot of shit and my priv and req only lists are small by comparison my insistence still stands#safety is paramount and always will be regardless of what or who I'm writing and where#honestly Danny should be on the private list on principle (both in regards to content and my strong feelings about him)#but he gets the same thorough explanation and etc before interactions happen while being a face of the blog so ....yea'....#like if people don't know my deal/how I operate with him (or muses like Mell and Nellie) then I'd be concerned otl#esp considering I'm very verbal and upfront with this stuff
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I'm amazed that Disney spent all this time and money developing this conversation chain system, then mapping that to hand gestures and teaching this sign language to cast members, ultimately to get stormtroopers to be able to verbally interact with disneyland guests. When like. You could just put a mic in the helmet. You could have a voice actor off in a room somewhere watching from a monitor like some kind of turtle talk with meatspace stormtrooper. Then also they just sort of dumped it all after covid anyway.
#theres cool stuff you could do with that system#but it also seems really cumbersome to use instead of the previous 'some guy off to the side is triggering the voice stuff on an ipad' thing#which seems like separating the physical acting and improv soundboard operator skillsets like that works best#instead of making one poor confused sweaty teenager do all of it with kind of conspicuous hand gestures#there's a lot to say about Disney's poor execution of star wars land stuff I'm sure#but as far as im concerned they fucked up not having goofy original puppet aliens and robots yelling at tourists from windows or whatever#how hard would it be to put your tiniest character performer in a gonk droid and just have them clomp around#I do not have like a religious attachment to star wars#but like oh my god they sunk all this money into those chicken droids when you could just be putting people in robot costumes#there is so much potential for entertainment value and they like. intentionally sidestepped all of it#people like star wars because of its stilted one sided conversations with a voice actor i recognize right#i don't know much about modern star wars but i know 40% of the mandalorion is a goofy puppet creature that people adore
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brother a tale of two sons was such a nothingburger game i can't believe it got a remake
#like. it's not bad dgmw the gameplay aspect of controlling 2 characters at the same time is interesting#and the story is. well. it's a story it's not Terrible#but it all feels very generic ?#it's like 2 hours long and it's just. 2 boys on an adventure to get medicine for their dying father#no dialogue (well... there are spoken lines but they're in a made up language so it's mostly visual storytelling)#lots of basic tropes or ideas that don't really go anywhere like. you expect This Thing to happen and it never does#idk example. first area is a village. you expect to be able to walk around the village and find your way through#meet some npcs maybe have a side quest or hidden collectibles or anything to encourage you to explore it#Nah it's a predetermined path of Go There Do That Cross Through Here#most of the gameplay boils down to pressing one button at the right time like.#you control 1 bro with the right side of the controller aka right joystick and right trigger Nothing Else. other bro left side.#you can walk and you can interact. that's it. not a lot of potential there gkfjd#and like. Yeah there's a lot of good games that have really simple controls because they focus more on the story or experience#but the experience is... meh ? like there's maybe 2-3 bits that are really fun otherwise it's just get from point a to point b#and the story is. yeah. generic ''kids with dead parents'' stuff#so... yeah congrats to the devs for bringing their game back & all but. ehhh???
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I want to post more art of Yale but it's like
You know how he's a "secret sona". I use a different fursona on my sfw accounts. That means I draw Yale privately a lot of the time. A lot of it's personal.
A lot of it's vent art. And it's not the edgy stuff, it's heavy stuff. And the nsfw is mostly hard kink. I know I have a bit of hard kink on here, but I'm not quite sure I want to post my own art of that on a public account.
#i might sort thru my art of him and see whats good to post#its not that i care about being 'sanitary'#i mean it when i say a lot of his art is heavy. as in potentially triggering#both the kink and nonkink stuff are pretty personal too im not sure i just want to put that out in the open#pentpup posts#pup ocs
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Often I’m worried that the topics of my writing will, at time, make others uncomfortable. But if they do, I think that’s a good thing. I mean, they make ME uncomfortable. Bad things happen in the world, and they’re allowed to be represented in fiction. They’re allowed to exist, but that doesn’t mean we have to be comfortable with them. The discomfort that they cause us should be motivation for us to change or prevent those things from happening in real life, rather than shove them under the rug further by erasing them from media.
#obviously if you have a personal trauma and prefer to avoid reading things that may be potentially triggering#that is an entirely different story#and no one should be forced to read something that makes them uncomfortable#but real life isn’t comfortable for a whole lot of people#and it isn’t fair if we just chose to ignore the things happening rather than face them#and prevent them from happening again#roan rambles#random#writing stuff#little vent
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SV AU where, while Luo Binghe is supposed to be in the Abyss, Shen Qingqiu comes across a hellhound puppy.
Now, there is an arc in PIDW where Luo Binghe became a hellhound. But it happened like at least a century out from where they are in the timeline, after Binghe had come into his full demonic power, and involved him turning into a slavering beast that eventually become a slavering man-beast (werewolf, basically) who could only be cured by having a lot of very questionable sex with his wives. Shen Yuan wrote a rant about how yet another potentially interesting transformation arc was instead reduced to porn tropes, but it was one of several dozen such rants across many similar story arcs. Airplane barely even remembers writing it because he was having a pretty shit week and just wanted to get the chapters out.
So it doesn't really occur to either him or Shang Qinghua that finding a hellhound puppy might be suspicious. Unexpected, sure, but demons are turning up all over the place all the time, really. And it's years before Luo Binghe is even supposed to be out of the Abyss, like a century before his hellhound transformation story, and when Binghe did turn into a hellhound his two forms consisted of a fully-grown beast and a fully-grown man-beast. Not a puppy.
Of course: that hellhound puppy is definitely Luo Binghe.
He unwittingly triggered this subplot early, and because he's still a young adult, he gets stuck in a juvenile puppy form because hellhounds don't reach fully maturity until they're like fifty.
Anyway, this creates something of a pickle for Luo Binghe, because he's legitimately stuck in this form and can't figure out how to change back. This is not part of his plans. He's fleeing from Huan Hua Palace cultivators who are trying to kill him, which they might succeed at because his Heavenly Demon powers don't seem to be working.
He runs right into Shizun, who is on one of his "investigate stuff to forget the depression" field trips with Liu Qingge.
Luo Binghe is fully expecting his righteous Shizun to kill the demonic beast, and has a moment to think that at least that's better than being killed by Huan Hua, before Shizun rescues him instead.
Shen Qingqiu, meanwhile, is actually kind of excited. There was a lot of lore in PIDW about how hellhounds can actually make loyal companions if they're trained up from young enough of an age, but finding hellhound puppies would be difficult for anyone who wasn't a demonic nobleman, and most of the "trained" hellhounds just disappeared into the harem as gifts to various demon wives and were never seen or heard from again. No additional information, like the full extent of their abilities or what kind of companions they made beyond "loyal" or anything! A species of demon that could even potentially be domesticated by humans, and it was just left at that?!
Needless to say, Shen Qingqiu's not letting Huan Hua Palace kill this one. This is a rare chance for him to get a cool monster companion!
Although... such a creature might die when Luo Binghe comes to take his revenge.
Well, he'll deal with that when he has a chance. Maybe Shang Qinghua can take it to Mobei Jun or Shen Qingqiu can find another place for it before then. In the meanwhile, at least going back to Qing Jing Peak with him is better than being killed on the spot. He talks Liu Qingge into going along with it (Liu Qingge thinks he's insane but also folds like wet tissue paper), under stipulation that the hellhound's demonic energies are sealed and it gets muzzled before they bring it back with them.
Shen Qingqiu rides with it in a carriage, and feels so bad for the poor doggo looking miserable without his demon powers or even his mouth free that he secretly takes the muzzle back off while Liu Qingge isn't looking.
Luo Binghe is overwhelmed with the mixed sentiments of confusion (doesn't his shizun hate demons? is a Heavenly Demon really so especially repulsive to him?), happiness (he's going home! Shizun found him and is taking him home!), worry (Shizun please do not un-muzzle random demonic beasts just because they look sad!), and some rather embarrassing personal revelations about the appeal of being Shizun's pet. The latter situation worsens exponentially after the first time he gets good boy'd and petted for the first time.
Regardless, Shen Qingqiu does take him back to Qing Jing Peak and settles in to train and observe his new puppy. No one thinks this is precisely a good project but it is a project, and is not for instance "staring blankly into the distance while kneeling in front of a sword mound", so on balance everyone decides they'll just keep an eye on things and make sure the hellhound doesn't maul the peak lord. Lots of "just dropping in for a visits" by a rotating cast of peak lords (they have a schedule).
But the hellhound puppy is a fabulous pet! Actually, Shen Qingqiu thinks it's really remarkable how smart and readily tamed he is? Barely a few days in and he's obediently following Shizun's commands, except for "stay", which he seems to struggle with. He doesn't maul or threaten any of the disciples, only growls at Shang Qinghua sometimes and makes a few aggressive displays at Liu Qingge. The former case is just good taste, and as to the latter, well, clearly the hellhound is sensitive and intelligent, and has a more-than-rudamentary understanding of words spoken to him. He probably remembers that Liu Qingge wanted to kill him when they first met. Shen Qingqiu takes his time soothing his puppy and assuring him that he won't come to any harm, he's perfectly safe on Qing Jing Peak with Shen Qingqiu.
At least, for now.
Although actually, the more Shen Qingqiu thinks about it, the more convinced he becomes that Hellhound (sue him, he's not the best with names) would be a perfect companion for Luo Binghe once he gets out of the Abyss. The only difficulty would be in how to convince Binghe to accept him, and also how to keep his now-loyal hound from trying to defend his master when justice comes due. Shen Qingqiu figures he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it, and in the meanwhile takes some time to explain to Hellhound about his disciple, Luo Binghe, who is enduring a terrible trial in the Abyss, but who will return one day having become Emperor of the Demon Realms and could probably use a steadfast and intelligent companion who is interested in more than just his incredible amounts of power or irresistible good looks.
Luo Binghe Himself: ?!?!?!
#svsss#bingqiu#scum villain#scum villain's self saving system#long post#lbh: either shizun doesn't know it's me and I have badly misunderstood his intentions in throwing me into the abyss#or shizun DOES know it's me and is lying but also letting me lick his face and sleep on his bed#...much to think about
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SKZ Pack Chapter 1
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Trigger Warnings: None
Weeks had gone by and it was nearly December. The wolves had changed in who they were. Jeongin became a tougher alpha and spent many weeks training to his full potential, but he also learned to be a better mate to Y/N. He was still making it up to her. Seungmin was still as cocky as ever and spent more time researching the dark side of werewolf lore in case they ended up in a tragic situation again. Felix was sensitive if not more sensitive after what happened and felt more protective of all the wolves so he offered to take part in more training, unlike Jisung who became glued to the side of Y/N. Jisung was far too in love with Y/N and loved to express that as he helped her around the house. Jisung made sure to always tell her she looked beautiful and made a point to kiss her scar first before her lips. Changbin was now on a course to look after werewolves as his sister Jaehee realised how useless Changbin was at saving his own omega. Changbin wasn't great but he could now stitch a minor cut. Minho on the other hand grew colder, he was hurting the most out of all of them. He still did his usual stuff but stayed out of debates and never gave his opinion. Him and Y/N were still not alright. They never spoke to each other unless it was a 'good morning' or a 'thank you'. Minho lost a lot of trust with Y/N and some of the others, but her words cut deep and he wasn't on the path of forgiveness yet. Hyunjin had gone back to his cold self and spent time in his art room, but still made time for Y/N.Chan had woken up but was bedridden as his ribs were still not healing but he was fine. He was pissed for the first twenty-four hours when he found out about Y/N's mission of death, but he got over it, knowing she was fine. He was happier when she came in to look after him, he appreciated her omegaing him but he knew it was tiring her out because she too was slowly healing.
Then there was Y/N she healed eventually but was still bandaged up. Spiritually she was damaged and Hyunjin's soul was trying to repair hers but it was too exhausting for him so she asked him to stop. Y/N wasn't as active as she had liked to be but still made a point to get up and see her wolves, despite Jisung being stuck to her. Not one of them had asked her about that night and it almost became a taboo subject. It was almost silently forbidden to be discussed. Y/N wanted to bring it up to apologise but when she did they would wave her off and tell her it's fine. Still, she knew Minho and Jeongin were the two she massively owed an apology to, but getting them alone was going to be harder. Minho was going to be her biggest challenge but she was going to start off strong by writing him a letter in case he refused to hear her apology and then giving him the flowers. By flowers, she meant the ones she picked from the garden and put into the vase after she turfed out the others. When Y/N came back into the kitchen she saw Minho prepping dinner. He was aware she walked into the kitchen and usually, he doesn't speak unless she speaks first. Y/N had to admit she felt incredibly nervous speaking to him and it was mainly because she hated hearing what she had done wrong. Y/N knew and understood her actions but hearing them made her slightly uncomfortable and defensive. "Minho?" Y/N called as she stood there awkwardly watching him. "Hmm?" Minho acknowledged her but did not look at her so Y/N decided he was comfortable with whatever she was going to say. "I wanted to say I'm sorry okay? Just hear me out and don't say anything. I only want you to listen." Y/N waited for him but he said nothing, making her roll her eyes. "I am sorry for not being grateful for your efforts. I know you worked hard to help and you did more than what I realised and I appreciate that. I guess I wanted to help and, anyway that's not the point. Forget that part. The main thing I wanted to apologise was for using your insecurity against you. I know it was low and I didn't mean it. I'm not good at apologies so I picked some flowers and wrote a letter of apology which I want you to read."
Y/N almost cursed herself at her botched apology. She completely messed it up but there was nothing she could do now except leave the letter on the table and leave him alone, which she did. Y/N left the kitchen and was about to head up to see Chan when Changbin entered the room in his medical clothes. Y/N greeted the beta with a gentle hug which Changbin was grateful for. Y/N knew Changbin wasn't really enjoying the hospital work and studying with his sister, he would rather be at the gym and then play his x-box. Changbin threw his bag down and kicked on his shoes while holding Y/N as he nuzzled her face against his, before pecking her lips. "Shall we go nurse Channie?" Y/N giggled as she kissed him again. "Let me unwind baby and then I'll come right up," Changbin whispered. Y/N nodded and headed up to see Chan who was idly staring up at the ceiling. It made Y/N laugh at how bored he looked. He was completely fed up with being stuck in the bedroom but his right leg was struggling to heal. "Felix said he might take my stitches out soon," Y/N said as she walked over to him and sat on his bed. Chan smiled up at her as he reached for her hand to hold. He loved it when she came to visit him. Admittedly, Chan sometimes got lonely since he was cooped up in the same four walls. "I want to tell you something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way baby. You know I love you." Chan said softly. "Oh no. Uh. Uh. Whatever it is Mr alpha I ain't doing it." Y/N answered as she bopped his nose like a child. "I'm being serious, baby," Chan said causing Y/N to frown. Why was he being so serious? "I know you are feeling incredibly anxious because you are feeling unclaimed and I know I haven't claimed you fully because I wanted to wait until you could trust me and your body was fully healed, but I know at the moment I'm not going to be in any position to do a while and I don't want you to feel unstable in my pack. We all love you, despite the conflicts we do. Which is why I had a chat with Jeongin and I want him to claim you." Chan stated. "No. Jeongin is fuming with me and besides I am completely fine. I'm not feeling anxious, or disconnected in any way. I want to wait. I want you, besides you could lay there." Y/N hinted with a smirk as she pulled his duvet cover down. Chan rolled his eyes nonchalantly. "Baby. Jeongin is over it, if anything it's Minho that's going to take a while. He accepts what you have said but he doesn't forgive easily. Besides Jeongin wants to ease your anxiety." Chan cooed. "I want you Channie to be the first. I don't care how long we have to wait for your leg to get better. Besides Seungmin can keep up." Y/N stated. "My love. What did I do to deserve you." Chan cooed, his heart swelling with pride. As much as he wanted to be the first his mark was already there and she needed to feel settled. "Ya, let's play doctors and nurses," Changbin shouted as he kicked the door open. "Fuck sake," Chan muttered.
Taglist for the iconic readers
@galaxy4489 @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @leezanetheofficial @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 o @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627 @tsunderelino @notevenheretbh1 @catlove83 @h0rnyp0t @hash2013 @hyunmikim @emi-han @iknow-uknow-leeknow @jigglypuff3000 @aalexyuuuhm @reallychaoticwoo @missseoulite @ihrtlix @estella-novella @xxeiraxx
#stray kids#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#skz#skz x reader#skz smut#abanb#bang chan#bang chan x reader#bang chan smut#lee know#lee know x reader#lee know smut#changbin#changbin x reader#changbin smut#hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin smut#han jisung#han jisung x reader#han jisung smut#lee felix#lee felix x reader#lee felix smut#seungmin#seungmin x reader#seungmin smut#jeongin#jeongin x reader
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Sum of All 13
Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: mob!Steve Rogers
Part of the mob drabbles au
Summary: you are given an unexpected assignment.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
You’re tired. Despite your blips into the void, you’re less than rested. You sit back from the table and leave the pencil in the crease of the ledger. You stretch your fingers and yawn. You let your eyes closer and your head wobbles.
“Sleepy?” Rogers intones.
You lurch in the chair and glance at him. You don’t remember him returning. He went off to ‘chat with Thor’ but you must’ve been too swept up in the numbers to notice. You nod and fix your posture.
“A little,” you confess.
“It’s late,” he stretches his arms as he speaks then rolls his shoulders. “Should probably tuck in soon. You got a lot of work tomorrow. Me too.”
“Mm, right,” you hum flatly.
You’re trapped in the tenuous stalemate. Since his confrontation, you’ve been reticent. That’s safest. You still can’t figure out what you did to rile him but you hardly want to do it again. A man like Rogers is not the type you want to goad. If it were up to you, you wouldn’t even be here. Again, that’s just another reminder of his power. You’re here because he says you need to be.
“I bought you stuff to sleep in,” he goes around the bed and grabs his own bag, flopping it up on the mattress.
“Oh, thanks, uh,” you slowly close the ledger and stare at the bed.
Your eyes drift over to the chaise. It’s wide enough for you. It even looks comfy. You get up and approach it, peering into the top of the shopping bags. That looks like pajamas?
He grunts and draws your attentions again. As he unbuttons his shirt, your eyes widen and your heart spark. Oops! You grab a bag and flee for the bathroom behind him. He doesn’t flinch as you pass by.
You shut the door and drop the bag. This is going to be so weird. And you thought the hotel room was bad. Him in the bed in just his towel and then you falling out of the shower. It’s a deranged slapstick but you’re the main joke.
You push open the mouth of the bag and pull out the silk top. The dusty rose fabric is trimmed with black lace. You blink dumbly as you examine the thin straps and fish out the matching bottoms. Okay, are these supposed to be pajamas?
You search the rest of the bag. It’s much of the same but in various colours. You’re better off sleeping in what you have on. Still, you are entirely unprepared another argument. Just the memory of his chasing you around that room has you jittery.
You change, reluctantly. How are you supposed to stay warm? You hate being cold. Especially when you’re trying to sleep. You swear, he’s torturing you. For you, he reserved his more sinister practice, you almost envy the man he stomped on the street. At least that was quick.
You crack open the door and peek out. Rogers lays in bed, one arm bent behind his head, his other hand on his phone as he holds it over his muscled torso. He has no shame as he reclines with his upper half entirely bare. You suppose he has no reason to be embarrassed but you very much do.
You steel yourself and emerge. You tear your eyes from him and don’t look back. You circle around the bed with one focus in mind. You snatch the pillow from the other side but find it caught on something. Rogers clears your throat and you look up as he stares back. He clings to the corner of the pillow.
“Whatcha doin’?” He asks coyly.
You gulp, “oh, I was gonna make up the chaise--”
“Why?” He prompts.
“Well, er, I thought--”
“Bed’s big enough,” he shrugs and yanks, putting the pillow back down. “Unless you think I smell or something.”
“Oh, no sir, no,” you argue and fold your hands in front of you. The silk brushes your chest and you’re overly aware of how your nipples poke into the cool fabric. “Um...you didn’t happen to grab any sets with pants? My legs are cold.”
“I dunno. The lady picked it all,” he swipes up his phone again. “Looks like it fits. If you’re cold, get under the blankets.”
“Right, that’s... smart,” you agree and climb onto the bed. You do just as he says and hide under the blankets. You put your back to him and nestle in. Your body relaxes into the cushy mattress and you yawn again. It’s no big deal. You’re just going to sleep.
Your head swirls with exhaustion. It doesn’t take much more than a few deep breaths to doze off. You’re grateful for the quick relief. Your body and mind is so addled that the blank void is much preferable.
You wake to darkness. The kind that blurs like static in your vision. There’s a steady rhythm at your back. Rogers snores lowly between deep breaths. His warmth radiates beneath the blankets and clouds around your legs.
You peek back at his fuzzy figure. It’s the only time you’ve ever seen him anything less than terrifying, even though you can’t really see him. You move carefully and slide out from under the covers. You tiptoe around to the bathroom and ease the door into the frame.
You quickly relieve yourself and wash your hands. As you come back out, the snoring continues, assuring you of your successful mission. You climb back into bed and once more roll onto your side. As you pull the blankets up, there’s a dip in the tempo.
Rogers’ snores fade and catch in his throat. The bed jostles with his movement as he grumbles. You squeak as his arm snakes over you and his heat blazes around your body. He tucks his hand under your waist and nuzzles your hair, puffing hotly into your scalp.
His arm is like a vice. You can’t dislodge it as you wriggle helplessly. His snores rise again to assure you of oblivion. You clasp onto his wrist but you’re much too weak to fight him. You knew that already but now you feel it completely.
As you writhe, you let out another high-pitched gasp. What’s that? The bulge flush to your rear has you paralysed as the realisation slowly sinks in. Oh. He’s only human after all, even if to you, he seems immortal.
You blanch and blink into the dark. The silk isn’t much of a barrier and his own pajama bottoms don’t offer much else. What do you do? You can’t let him wake up like this? You can’t let him know that you felt him.
Yet if you wake him up by wrench him off of you, that would give it all away. Well, you guess this is your life now. You’re stuck. Trapped with this enigmatic man and his unyielding demands. Even in his sleep, he’s managed to impose his will on you.
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#series#drabble#au#mob au#sum of all#captain america#marvel#avengers#mcu
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