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s3thwrit3sstuff · 7 months ago

Note

*pulls the 45 cents I have to my name out of my pocket and drops them on your table*

I can't believe my name will be forever attached to this but one (1) Kenjaku solo session with Heianera!YN portrait, please

❝ life and death will always lead to love and regret (but you have the answers, and I have the key) ❞

warnings: creepy/stalker behaviour, Kenjaku is a 'passive'-yandere (in the sense that Sukuna would and will kill him if he tried anything), manipulative behaviour, gore (detailed), Kenjaku jerking off in front of a portrait of r!, very unrequited

authors note: don't be ashamed, Gabriel. I got way too excited writing this and I think that speaks volumes on how I need to get checked, LMAO. On another note - yes, my YN's will always have a harem of men in the JJK-verse because that's what YN (and you, my dear reader) deserve!

I wrote this partially on my phone so bear with me guys...

*song on repeat: Bernadette by IAMX & Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage. * YN is described as having long hair because of the heian beauty standard (hair colour and texture not mentioned).

People often compared the years they lived as sand. The hourglass holding it is comparable to the human body. He often thought that metaphor was weak. People — humans — were not hourglasses and their years were not sand. No, no. That’s far too neat for humans.

Humans are messy. They are loud, and chaotic, they defy nature's rules and destroy her for the sake of progress. They had no balance, their compass broke when the synapses in their brains sparked conscious thought.

In that chaos, humans made curses. Or, well, you could argue it who came first but without humans and their silly consciousness — cursed spirits wouldn’t thrive.

People are flesh left under the sun. With their blood drying out, flies and maggots eagerly feast on what they can while the meat greys and rots. That’s a much more appropriate metaphor for a human life. If anything, the hourglass comparison should be used for himself. Constantly turning it over to keep going; uncaring of what kept the sands in confinement so long as it could continue its path.

Down, almost empty, flip, repeat.

Kenjaku had perfected his cursed techniques. He had earned this, he had earned his right to let his curiosities run rampant. He had earned the right to be in the presence of Sukuna Ryomen and you.

“Yuuji, you still owe me for eating my yoghurt from the fridge. It was expensive and it took so long for me to find it!” Nobara huffed. “You might as well just buy some for yourself. I’m labelling my food now.”

Megumi glanced over his shoulder at the lack of reply from the pink-haired boy. Nobara stopping next to him with her brows furrowed, sighing as she looks around for him.

“...I was just talking to myself? Seriously?” she grumbled. Megumi adjusts his grip on the bags. The grocery trips were a good team-building exercise according to Yuuji, a way to get to know each other better. Megumi and Nobara agreed after a particularly harsh mission that aimed directly at their novice team fighting experience.

So far, the results that were yielded from it were found that Nobara had an aversion to pineapples, Megumi had expensive tastes, and Yuuji was very good at budgeting money.

“No, he was right beside you a few minutes ago,” Megumi reached for his phone. Nobara placed her hands on her hips, tilting her head as she continued to scan the crowd.

A gaggle of businessmen came out from the underground train station and between the crowd of slicked-back hair, desperate combovers, and sweaty bald heads, she spotted him.

Tugging on Megumi’s sleeve, she pointed to him. Yuuji was standing and staring up at some sort of vertical banner. As they both approached, they shared a glance.

“Oi, Itadori,” Nobara placed a hand on his shoulder. Smacked it really. He didn’t budge. There was a dullness to his eyes that unnerved her enough to remove her hand. Megumi tightened his grip on his phone as he called out to him again. She took a look at the banner and her brows furrowed.

It was promoting an opening of someone’s private gallery. Some rich kid’s great-great-grandfather’s collection. The painting they used was of a true beauty. A man with long hair, dressed in the finest robes with a serene barely-there smile. It looked to be more European in nature, the art reminding her of the portraits of giant frilly dresses and puffy shoulder sleeves despite the obviously Japanese clothing, accessory, and manner in which the subject was regaled in the painting.

The banner must have costed a pretty penny considering how much detail they could see. Megumi could practically feel the raised textures the artist had used to mimic the pattern of the traditional robe the man wore. The flow of his hair, the texture and pattern it had; and his lashes were surely not that long in reality.

Megumi tore his gaze to Yuuji.

It was like he was in a trance. His mouth was slightly ajar, his brows furrowed and his hands shaking as his knuckles turned white.

“Itadori?”

Yuuji had long forgotten this. This ache in his chest that he sometimes woke up with. When he reaches for the empty space next to him and finds no one. Those moments in the basement when he watches a historical movie and his chest tightens as the nobles courted one another.

“Do you know the painter or something?” Nobara asks.

No, he wants to say. Not the painter. If he knew who it was that did this portrait, he’d tear their heads off their body. But the man? He knew him.

That hellish grin, that perfect face and most importantly those nightmarish eyes.

You’ve seen dolls, right? Those porcelain ones specifically. The craftsmen who make them, the expensive ones with real human hair. To be left on shelves instead of being played with. They would draw these white dots on the eyes, varnish them even, so their eyes would reflect back. A mimicry of humans, that’s what dolls are. But even then, their eyes still twinkled. Not this man. No. It was devoid of light. Pools of (eye colour) and nothing more. These eyes would swallow up any trace of light and diminish the stars from the sky with just a glance.

Yuuji knew him. His soul knew him. His hand clutches over his heart and his friends watch this with trepidation.

It’s been 2,000 years. Sukuna was no longer human and therefore his memory was not as fickle. He still remembers those moments before dawn; the sight of your bare torso breathing softly as you rested next to him. The sun filtering through the windows and making you appear even more ethereal and deadly. How your brows would pinch seconds before you woke. Those soulless eyes that shot through his very soul.

Sukuna could recognize you even if he was blind. He’d be able to hear you just by feeling your chest rumble. If he had to eat one thing for the rest of his life, your body and flesh would sustain him.

In his Malovent Shrine, whilst he sat on his throne, he’d summon his flames in his palm. There he’d watch as your figure danced across his hand. You’d twirl between his digits, a smile across your face as he watches the imitation of you.

It used to be enough. Lately, the action brings him more contempt then fondness. The flames never quite catch your shape anymore. Constantly shifting. That coyness is gone, mini-you petulantly staying hidden behind his fingers. So he snuffs you out in his fists.

He hates you for making him miss you. A King should not be missing anyone or anything. Yet, as his vessel stands here, Sukuna teeters on the edge of breaking the Unbreakable Vow he’d made with the brat just to gaze upon you.

The painter got your resemblance and it was agony for him.

How could he continue to be without you when he’s seen you again? Days ago, he wanted to kill you for making him delirious and now he wants you back in his arms.

“Itadori.” Megumi’s tone is firmer. Nobara smacks his shoulder again and Yuuji jolts forward, nearly falling until his rigid legs quickly come back to life.

“Huh?”

“Are you alright?” Megumi asks, his thumb hovering over the DIAL button of Gojo Satoru’s number. Yuuji glances at his wrinkled shirt and releases it, confusion painted across his face at the fading pain across his chest.

“I...yeah, yeah. I'm okay. I have no idea what that was....”

Rich bodies made life significantly easier.

What was that saying humans used?

Money can’t buy happiness?

Kenjaku chuckles at the thought. Foolish and vain — typical of humans. Clinging onto whatever they can to convince their egos they’re better than most when they’ll all meet the same fate. Kenjaku forgets the exact point where he stopped seeing himself as one of them, but he’s sure anyone would if you’ve lived as long as him. Apathy. Most call it a disease of selfishness. Kenjaku simply thinks they’re lying to themselves.

“Mr Geto?” the gallery was a lucrative endeavour. A piece in his grand scheme that required little effort but great rewards. More personal gain on his end.

“Mr Hajimoto mentioned you specifically in his will. The private room is all yours. Thank you so much for your donation to this fine institution of arts.” Kenjaku offers the man a polite smile and nod. The awkward silence prompts them to open the large doors and Kenjaku is greeted by you.

(Y/N) (L/N). In all your glory. In his favourite colours and his favourite kanza. The bespoke lighting on your portrait makes his hands fall limply to his side. You were a brushstroke away from taking a breath. The colours used to recreate that undertone your skin had, the delicate curves of your lashes and the plumpness of your lip.

The two guards in the corner of the room are a nuisance. But with a simple twirl of his right hand, the Slit-Mouthed Woman makes quick work of them. This curse technique was truly convenient, the mess she made cleaned up by a different curse who laps at the blood with vigor. The noises are all muffled as he admires those vicious eyes.

Just saying your name makes warmth travel down between his legs.

“I’ve almost forgotten how you look like.”

Silence ticks by for a minute.

Then Kenjaku bursts into laughter. Clutching his stomach and covering his mouth as he does. He can still smell your blood. Even if Suguru’s body had never had the pleasure of touching you — Kenjaku remembers it.

The way it flowed out of you like silk ribbons. Warm and wet and virile.

“You are an unusual sorcerer,” those were the first words you said to him. He knows you meant that in a derisive fashion — the curl of your nose was a clear indicator. But that was the day a feverish need was planted inside of his very soul.

You. You. You.

The shape of your face.

The cadence of your voice.

The way the wind carried your scent to his nose.

The sound of your cat-like foot-steps.

The effortless way you carried yourself despite the heavy robes that a revered concubine of your rank would wear, along with the golden hair accessories that would probably break a lesser man's neck.

It didn't stop there either.

Your brain, the wickedness that ran through your very veins and that fire that burns within you. Kenjaku wanted to be inside of you in every he could fathom. To sit within that perfectly shaped skull, to thread his fingers between the locks of your hair and take a scalpel to that skin he so craves to taste. Or perhaps inside in the traditional sense, between your legs, embraced by your warm insides and your deadly arms.

Kenjaku ponders on the time he has. He decides that he should indulge in you. He undoes the robes this body wore and sighs as it reveals the torso. Bodies were all the same but he does appreciate the care Geto Suguru took into his temple — there was no need for shame when he's already desecrated this corpse so viscerally already. His hands travel down his torso and that pronounce v-line and past the patch of wiry pubic hair.

You make him feel young again. Reckless and stubborn. Your eyes watch him as he leisurely spits into his palm and strokes it over the tip.

Evil is such a lame word. So primitive in its nature, another one of human's attempts at letting go of responsibility. If something or someone were evil, they were inherently irredeemable. Humans used to call snakes evil simply for doing what a snake would do when hungry, instead of realising they shouldn't have left the door to their huts opened and their sleeping brat asleep.

Was something evil when it simply did what it was meant to do?

They were simply following natures course.

This act Kenjaku is doing now, is not perverted or evil, he is simply being. Simply living, existing, relishing.

If anything, you were the undoing. The evil. You've made, and continue to make, him lose crave and hunger. You were so cruel, so ethereal — so evil.

Kenjaku groaned your name, walking backwards and dropping onto the low seat the gallery provided. His legs spread and he hung his head down but his eyes remained affixed to your painting.

"He sounds beautiful, Mr Hajimoto," the blonde painter had told him once or twice or thrice. Young but talented, the way he used his brushes on canvas was so impressive and Kenjaku missed you so much (Y/N). He simply had to spread the wickedness of your beauty, immortalize it forever within canvases and lesser non-sorcerers minds.

"Did you know him?" his accent was clunky, the Japanese language tumbling on its delicate legs following the rhythm of the painters voice. Still, he — Mr Hajimoto, Kenjaku — gave him a gentle grin.

"Very well. He was my lover."

The small notebook the painter had written your features down in, it was displayed in this very room as well. In a glass casing, handled with gloves to ensure pesky skin oils wouldn't deteriorate his inked strokes.

Speaking of strokes, Kenjaku's was beginning to pick up it's pace. His smile now looser, like an animal that caught the scent of blood, his tongue curled over his teeth as he imagined the disgust on your face. You'd probably cover your nose with the sleeve of your robe and the thought makes his cock jump; you were wearing his favourite colours and it made him moan.

The notebook was filled with sketches of you. Kenjaku recalls correcting the human, correcting him when he disrupted the harmony of your anatomy. You were the humans muse for years, (Y/N). Even as he neared his death bed, the blonde artist kept drawing you. Sketches lose, your shape less tangible, but hauntingly beautiful. Like your dark flames flowing in the wind. Even as his memories of his life escapes him, the artist remembered you. What a blessing. Kenjaku had visited him before he died and whispered your name into the old man's ear.

Sorcerer Society keeps your name hidden. It's their way of control. Making Sukuna Ryomen more monstrous by telling others he ruled coldly and cruelly alone; death was not as harsh as being erased. They say Sukuna needed 20 of his fingers and his mummified heart to be revived. That's what those poems talked about after all.

A misunderstanding.

The heart was Sukuna's, yes.

But it wouldn't revive him.

"You were so angry," he chuckled out, "so defiant even when I was inside of you."

The sky was blood red, the black smoke making the colour more saturated as it seemed intent on blotting out the sun. Uraume had felt a sudden chill, you did too, and they swiftly rose as the scent of deceit was so thick in the air.

“Uraume,” your voice remained nonchalant. But there was a tenseness in your throat that even they could decipher through the layers of regality. They turned, mouth pressed into a thin line as they went on their knees.

You continued to stare, impassively looking down at the patterned swirl of their snow-white hair. The red and black sky turning the colour of your eyes a pleasantly mournful shade; the golden kanza in your hair that your Lord Sukuna himself had commissioned for you glimmered righteously. The teeth of a beast, the curling of centipede legs, and the melded wings of a raven. It was beautiful just as much as it was unusual.

“You leave your Lord’s prized possession to fend for himself?”

Uraume lips reveal a modest amount of teeth. Their face like a porcelain doll as they raise their head. It makes your heart flutter and squeeze.

“You are stronger than these worms, they wouldn’t dare attack you.”

This is true. A fact. You were strong. 100 sorcerers or 1, 000 sorcerers — it made no difference to you. They’d turn into dust and wither right before you. But it shocks Uraume when you place your palm against their jaw, thumb stroking over their cheekbone as you gaze down at them.

“How horrid it is, making me defend myself.”

They see your eyes soften. It was no wonder you were Lord Sukuna’s concubine. Just being touched by you, looked down upon by you; it makes their spine melt.

“I should have your head for your insolence.”

Uraume apologizes, lips stilling when your thumb presses down on them.

“Return to me. Whole. My Lord Husband and I will not be pleased if you do not. We don’t want weaklings to stand behind us.”

Uraume bows, their lips kissing your knuckles as they do before they raise and disappear from your sight. The screams of terror that are heard outside at the sight of them make you slip your eyes close.

Kenjaku appeared before you what felt like hours later. He looks at the scene with a raise of his brow. Your feet were soaked in blood as bodies were strewn across the wide room. The floor was shimmering, looking as though it was breathing as it creaked from his weight. The clothes the bodies wore painted a clear enough picture — they were your servants. Loyalties were swayed as the fight prolonged. These little ants thought they could save themselves from punishment if they showed these righteous sorcerers your head.

He couldn’t smell smoke and there were no signs of charring. The bodies were mangled beyond belief, guts spilling out, eyes gouged, arms bent unnaturally.

Yet, in the gore and horror, you stood across from him with only your feet stained by traitorous blood.

You were a vision. Delicately wiping away blood from the tiger claw kanza with the sleeve of a dead servant. Then, he watches as you carefully put it back in place atop your hair.

“Kenjaku.”

He bows his head, bending at his waist, then lifts himself up again.

“The Kamo clan, your clan, joined this rebellion. I feel that should be a good enough reason to kill you.” The fire in your eyes makes his heart race. He moves forward, casually stepping over a torn torso.

“That would be unwise,” he gives you a grin. This body of his is new. The stitches are still fresh and red. Most likely a desperate attempt of his to hide away while they destroyed his old body. The corpse is younger, and more plain-looking. Despite it’s Curse Technique being a mystery, you’ll take your chances at strangling him.

“I’ve come at the behest of your Lord Husband. To ensure your longevity.”

Your brows pinch. Kenjaku delights at the creases it creates, tucking away this sight into his memories for lonely nights. Then, you scowl.

“You lie.”

His giddiness is palpable. The wide grin on the corpse’s face is clearly not his own; cheeks lifted too high and smile too large and unnatural. Kenjaku must’ve been a truly ugly man with a truly ugly grin. The body struggles to adjust to this display of amusement.

“I’m not.”

He takes a step forward and you lift your hand. The standstill would’ve lasted longer if it weren’t for the yells and thunderous footsteps clambering up to your room.

“You lie!”

Dark flames roared out from the windows. The heat so smoldering it causes a burst of hot air to knock back the men on the stairs, burning their skin and face. The blood on the floor boils, the iron scent now more acidic as the once fleshy bodies now crumble into dust.

You feel his breathe against the nape of your neck. As you turn, he wrings his arms around you like a snake. One across your stomach, the other around your shoulder. That horrible smile is pressed against your skin.

“Kenjaku,” you growl through gritted teeth.

“That’s right. Say my name.”

Fighting feels a lot like sex.

Kenjaku can feel your passion behind every strike, the bruises you leave behind on his skin are akin to hickeys. When you yell out and scream, cheeks so hot he can feel the rush of blood to your face just from looking — the rapid pulse you have and the way your face is contorted.

Kenjaku pins you down. Your legs are thrown over his own while you gnash your teeth at him and spit insults his way. Your hair was so beautiful, thrown back around your head like a lion’s mane. He slides your wrists above your head and holds them with one hand while the other undoes the meticulous array of folds your kimono had.

Sweat drips down his nose. It’s all your fault. Using your Curse Technique in this room, charring the wood and setting it all aflame. Still, he could work in this conditions.

“Ah,” he moans at the sight of your bare skin. Watching the rise and fall of your chest, licking his lips as he places a hand over your heart.

When you kick at his stomach, he acts like he cannot feel it. When you kick again, this time hard enough for a loud crack to be heard, he looks at you.

“If you kill me, you will break the Binding Vow you and Ryomen had made with me.”

He feels your feet dig into his rib, the spiderwebs of cracks spreading further. He allows this with a pleased hum. Your ragged breathing all at once calms and with a blink, your eyes lose that unbridled fury.

“You dare say my Lord’s name so casually?”

Kenjaku laughs. As he leans down, he presses his forehead to yours. Your nose curls in disgust but you keep your lips pursed. The feeling of his sweat sliding down the sides of your forehead and dipping to travel the side of your nose; threatening to get into your eyes as it slips just beneath it.

“Forgive me, venerable concubine.” Kenjaku does not mean this. When he presses his fingers together and imbues his hand with Curse Energy. He enjoys it.

Slicing through your skin at a pace that made the cut more ghastly then it would be if it was done quickly. You remained stone-faced while Kenjaku chewed on his lower lip, every twitch or squint just fueling his hunger.

He is past your skin and now he sees the yellow, when he twists his wrist you grunt as he slices through the threads of muscles. He spreads his fingers and your teeth part as you let out a strained yell.

"You can be louder if you want," his lips brush against your cheek every time he speaks.

"When I return, I'll take pleasure in ripping your head off your body."

"Threatening me?"

He reaches bone. His finger scratching against it before he peels away and settles between your legs. Your hands aren't pinned but you do nothing but curl your fingers into fists as he shoves another hand into your chest. The squelching and pulsing of your flesh, the bursts of blood from your throbbing veins and pumping heart. The wetness and warmth of your insides. He can feel your body clenching around him, and he convinces himself its because you truly enjoy this depravity just as he does.

The size of his hands in your chest is unbearably uncomfortable. Invading you, filling you when you want nothing more than to burn him, as he moves his digits and wrists within you.

He grasps onto your bones and breaks it under the pressure of his wrist. Your blood is spraying him, staining his clothes.

"Your blood looks like ribbons," he whispers to you, "even your insides are like works of art."

You want this to be over with already.

Your arms move down, eyes still set in a glare. You slip your fingers under the soaked clothing and spread it apart further to reveal more of your skin. Shimmying your shoulders so your torso is now bare of any clothing.

The tent between his legs pressed into your crotch. It's hard to ignore, but you push through and grasp onto his elbow and force him to go in deeper.

"Promising you."

Kenjaku's elbow straightens sharply and he moans as he feels your heart beating in his palm. He pulls it out of your body, panting as your eyes slip close and your heart slows. Beating slowly...slowly...slowly...

Kenjaku moans at the memory of your heart in his hands. Your warm blood coating his skin, drying under his nails and crackling in the creases of his joints.

"I wanted to keep you on me forever," he grunts out as his pace gets faster. "The smell of you, of your flesh."

"I didn't need your body, but it was too beautiful not to be admired."

Kenjaku throws his head back, placing his palm across his nose and lips as he sifts through his memories so he can conjure it all over again.

The painting watches on impassively. The croons and purrs of Geto Suguru's cursed spirits echo faintly in Kenjaku's ears while his hips thrusts into his own fist. It's desperate. He usually isn't like this. Even when he was creating the Death Womb Paintings — even when his plans are so close to coming into fruition.

You make him like this. Make him lose control, every thought poisoned with you even when you're nothing more than a mummified heart hidden so desperately away by Sorcerer Society.

"I've gotten a lead," Uraume had informed him just a few days ago. "They've hidden him in the ocean in an underwater research facility."

"Underwater, hah, they think it'll keep your flames contained. Keep your loyal servant away as if the depths of the ocean is enough to scare them, us — Oh, (Y/N)."

His fist stops and Kenjaku stands, removing his clothing fully as he places a hand against the wall of the gallery. The textured wall, the grooves, give way to his nails as he digs them in. He stares into your eyes, imagining the crease of your furrowed brow and Kenjaku groans out your name as he cums all over the wall.

"...Oh, I can't wait to see you again, venerable concubine."

#s3thwrit3sstuff #reader insert #male reader #male reader insert #gay reader #male!reader #sukuna ryomen x male reader #kenjaku x male reader #jjk x reader #jjk x male reader

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xx-j4nu5-c4t5-xx · 9 months ago

Text

"An ideal Sims game would have Sims 2's gameplay mechanics, Sims 3's open world, and Sims 4's graphics!"

I absolutely despise this take, and I want to explain why. This is a very long rant and it is full of piss and vinegar directed at everything in the Sims 4. I'm gonna try to keep everything kinda professional as much as I can but I can't guarantee an unbiased opinion.

If you'll let me talk your ears off for a moment, I'd like to explain, from my own experience as an artist and a casual player, my issues with the art style and direction of The Sims 4 compared to The Sims 2. (I'm not really going to comment on 3 because I've never played it.)

I want to start off by explaining the difference between better graphics and higher resolution. The Sims 4 absolutely blows Sims 2 out of the water when it comes to textures and polygon counts on sims, no contest. But I'd argue that the graphics themselves... aren't better. They're worse, even, so much fucking worse. The biggest problems come from the stylization and the animations, in my opinion, so I'll explain what I mean.

Have you ever felt like the Sims in 4 just look... weird? Not quirky, not kinda strange, but off. Distressing. Uncanny. Whatever the fuck the kids call it nowadays. When you strip away the packs and the CC and the shaders, the sims in the base game look bad. They're very close to being human; they walk like us, talk like us, have families like us, but they don't look like us, not exactly. There's always something off about them, no matter how close you try to get. Proportions will be a bit off, or your eyelashes will be like three polygons for some fucking reason, and the jig is up. The illusion is gone.

This is one of the instances where a higher resolution and more detailed models and meshes work against you. You aren't making believe. You are beyond the point of pretending that the pixelated shapes are real clothes and bodies and faces, because at this point, they're close enough that you don't need to. There's no gap to bridge. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they're lifelike, at least, not enough to be completely human. In some ways, they're still tethered to being cartoony and plasticky and fake. Just enough to frighten you. Enough to put you off. They're not using it to their advantage anymore, and instead, it's holding them back.

When the Sims 2 came out in 2004, the developers knew that they weren't going to make a perfectly accurate life simulator. They physically couldn't render every wrinkle in the face or fold in the clothing. In some animations, things clip strangely or the facial expressions are sort of janky or there's just some form of roughness around the edges. But that's okay; your brain doesn't need a perfectly accurate representation this time. That's not what you're here for, anyway.

The Sims 4 is basically Icarus-ing itself into disaster. The entire game sacrifices style for complete realism, a goal that was unachievable ten years ago, and is unachievable now.

The Sims 2 never thought of itself as a completely realistic life sim, though. It has cartoony, low poly meshes and exaggerated proportions and wild, raunchy storylines that would never occur in real life. BECAUSE IT ISN'T REAL LIFE. And it isn't like real life, not because it's failing to be, but because it doesn't want to be!

The Sims 4 is not ever going to completely replicate human looks or interactions or dynamics. And if it's trying to, it's doing a shit job of it. That shouldn't be the goal in the first place. If I wanted to watch a lonely college student talk to himself in the mirror to try and get better at interacting with people, I'd close the computer and go look at myself. It somehow highlights the most mundane parts of life without any of the whimsy and goofiness that the earlier installments had. It takes itself too fucking seriously for its own good, and it's killing both the gameplay and the art style.

The other point I'd like to bring up is the animation. The Sims 4 allows for much more customization of both sim and environments, but at the cost of dynamic animations. How many times is that grab animation reused? How many times is the same set of animations used for sims with wildly different personalities? Your sims barely feel alive with how little they express themselves.

Now, look, I'm a digital artist. I've dabbled in animation, but only briefly, and only in 2D. I've got no clue how 3D animation works, much less how it worked 20 years ago, but I can see the passion in every single animation in the Sims 2. The more niche interactions allowed for more expressive animations than in 4. They could afford to have a distinct animation for mean sims throwing the football extra hard to be assholes, rather than every sim using the same generic football-throwing animation to save time and money. I get where they're coming from. I get the idea. But in one move, you've both made the art style stiffer and less expressive, and you've made the personalities of the sims seem meaningless. Everyone acts the same, regardless of what their moodlets or their traits say. It's hollow. It's stifled. It's a waste of potential.

But for what Sims 2 lacks in polygons, it makes up for in smaller animated details. Quality over quantity. The sims have hair physics, they open the door before they get in the car, they take utensils out of the counters when they cook, they jump on the couch and the cushions smush under their weight. When they dance, the weight is realistic, and when they smile, it tugs at every one of the few dozen shapes that make up their faces. The sims are lively. They dance and sing and love and hate just like humans, and rather than being some strange attempt at mimicry, it's almost a tribute. They were made with love. You can tell that they were drawn up and rigged and animated by a bunch of people working together, studying each other and making faces in the mirror for reference and watching their kids and neighbors and dogs and hands for reference. The sims are not human, and not trying to be, but they're taking the most human parts of us and making them their own.

You could never have a game with the Sims 4's graphics and the Sims 2's gameplay. The gameplay and graphics are inexorably connected, and the Sims 2 just has so much glorious detail baked into it, that you could never really make it work underneath the limitations of the later games. The developers of 2 knew what their limits were, and they worked tirelessly to make the game as full and complex as they could within those limits. The developers for the Sims 4 just did not have those guidelines, and thus, the drive to bend the rules was no longer there. They didn't go wild in rebellion because they were never told they couldn't in the first place. They spent the entire time chasing a goal they couldn't meet, and lost sight of what made the series fun to begin with.

It wasn't the realism you came for; you had realism already surrounding you. It was the caricature of it that made it interesting.

#sims 2 #sims 4 #rambling #please hear me out here #if I hear this one more time i'll explode #please #the problem is so deeply ingrained that it corrupts all it touches like an oil spill #you cant separate the graphics from the gameplay #please guys #THIS is why the sims 4 feels hollow #IT IS #IN EVERY WAY IT COULD BE #every advancement it claims to make only digs its grave further #GUYS PLEASE #CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #does this count as an essay #it felt like an essay #it's 5am

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akayralylegacy · 4 months ago

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EMESIS BLUE IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I EVER WATCHED

Yeah, this is going to be some sort of analysis bc I am having a massive brainrot about this movie and I HAVE to share my thoughts of it somewhere, so I hope you enjoy reading this huge post ig lmao

Btw, if you're a person who doesn't like spoilers... SPOILERS WARNING IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET (and plan to do so)!!!

First, yeah, for those who didn't know I've been really into TF2 since last month, and being a very new fan, I started watching lots of SFMs and vids in a row to catch up with all the memes and lore, and well, I stumbled across EMESIS BLUE. And, it got me caught up with its plot/concept and the overall movie itself SO MUCH that I will never think of TF2 the same way-

No I mean, I know TF2 is more humoristic and stuff most of the time, the canon comics themselves have lots of funny moments of nonsense and weird situations, and not even counting the zillions of memes the community has created, those being pure gold. I love the comedic silliness from the comics and memes, plus the chaotic vibe from the game itself is just so fucking funny and stupid I always burst into laughter

But, TF2...with... horror? That's a combination I never thought I'd like so much. The whole concept of the respawn machine not working like it was supposed to, making them suffer from physical and/or mental problems after each respawn, creating an eternal loop of suffering, breaking the characters' sense of reality, torturing them by having to wait an eternity within some sort of limbo of "afterlife"...bro that's so...so disturbing yet so amazing at the same time. The fact the respawn machine caused Scout to develop brain atrophy, decreasing his IQ score and causing dementia and schizophrenia symptoms, while Medic developed some sort of split personality and schizophrenia as well, and you know that each time they return it will just get worse and worse, even them reckoning it later on. It's...just, it is simply horrifying.

The movie's atmosphere is so well made and constructed that I was tense from start to end, I felt like I was inside the movie, like I was witnessing all the carnage and agony of each one of the characters from up close. Like, there was practically no calm moment during those whole (almost) 2 hours of movie, but at the same time so many stuff happens very quickly, it also seems to go a bit slow but not in a bad way, and the details are shown here and there bit by bit. I like very detailed stories that construct the events based on its slow pace, revealing stuff on its right time, but on the other hand, being mixed with agitation, brutality and things happening in a flash. I hope you can understand what I'm saying? I hope I am being able to explain it well, but I think you get what I mean.

Cinematography wise, everything is stunning. The animation, the effects, the light and shadow, the colors and textures, sounds and background music, everything so well made, if you pay attention you can notice tiny details that make a lot of difference and make it even more agonizing yet thrilling to watch. I was so impressed with it just from the start. I mean, the animation>>>>

The quality being SO. GOOD considering it was animated purely on SFM??? THAT'S SO FUCKING IMPRESSIVE AND JAWDROPPING LIKE THAT'S SUCH A BANGER I COULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT.

Dialogue and quotes is something to be noted out as well. Many dialogues made such impact to the movie, some quotes making more sense later on as the movie progresses. I swear, that moment where Soldier is in a black n white room, with all those skeletons sitting around a table, and the sound at the background is a phone call from Jules to Blutarch, where Jules says: "We have about 800.000 corpses on the site," that line hit me SO HARD I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN. This is SO. FUCKING. DARK AND MORBID BRO I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK

Not only this one but lots of lines caught my attention and hit me so hard, like:

"You ever get the feeling like you're being watched?"

"Doc, I was at the second floor"

"Some get stuck inside trying to come through"

"You don't want to know..."

"It's eternity in there"

"Longer than you think..."

"Who was there to save me, Jules?"

"And I'm giving you exactly what you deserve"

"See you on the other side..."

ISTG THESE ARE SO??? LIKE, THEY HIT SO HARD AND I GOT CHILLS FROM SOME OF THOSE

Also, the voice acting, OOOH THE VOICE ACTING. Some people say it wasn't that good because many characters were voiced by Chad Payne himself, however I think it shows quite a talent from him to voice numerous characters tbh, even if he couldn't perfectly change the voice to fit all the characters 100% it doesn't mean his voice acting isn't good! I think he did an amazing job :]

And all the other voice actors as well, all of them are so amazing and I loved their acting so fucking much, but shoutout to Jazzyjoeyjr (voice of Soldier) and Cameron Nichols (voice of Scout) bc bro YOU DUDES DID A *PERFECT* JOB I SWEAR-

Talking abt moments of the movie that impacted me so much, I think it was Scout's death, and well uh, many Soldier moments tbh. Scout's death scene was agonizing to watch, I was in total despair hearing his screams at the background while Medic was trying to kill Maynard, I was almost having a crisis I was almost yelling of desperation I was like: COME ON MEDIC PLEASE GO SAVE HIM ISTG

It was SO. FUCKING. SAD. AND UNFAIR. I will never get over that moment.

Soldier's moments? Bro, he was the most sane out of everyone, which says a lot... and he was the ONLY one to indeed survive, without dying at any moment. He witnessed it all, the death of his best friend, Fritz shooting himself right in front of him, the pile of bodies, the truth being revealed....everything.

It even saddens me to imagine what could be passing through Soldier's mind after all those events, he seen gruesome and horrifying shit throughout the movie.

So, long-story short, EMESIS BLUE is a fucking MASTERPIECE that traumatized me for LIFE (in a good way), and I highly recommend you to watch it if you haven't yet, I am impressed with it and it doesn't get out of my head I am so fucking obsessed with it ISTG-

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nomsfaultau · 5 months ago

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dunmeshi and sbi!fault :DD

I did briefly consider writing a normal sbi crossover cause ohhh my God it would be good. Honestly Laios did bleed into my Techno in Worth far more than your weight in gold cause Techno also gets into that hyperfixation on creature details (although in a lot more 'to kill them better' way). They are ON that grindset. Although polar opposites on Techno 'eating the same potato recipie for 12 months' vs laios 'new dish every meal'. The Blade is such a lazy cook see: cooking headcanons. Laios would openly speculate on how his meat differs from actual pork. And Wilbur would start explaining the flavor profile/texture difference very accurately to everyone's fascination/horror. The Blade also straight up doesn't know Chilchuck is part of the party because he's so tiny he's like 100% in The Blade's blind spot. Like yeah he can smell and hear him but he just keeps forgetting Chilchuck exists. Also confused that the orphan meter isn't pinging but whatever. Marcille constantly bribes him to get access to his long luxurious mane. Senshi is cool with him bc he's familiar with orcs.

I think Senshi and Philza share one brain cell in that regard. Agressively taking care of everyone else. Cause you cannot tell me Philza hasn't seen so so so many people starve to death in famines...not so much worried about cannibalism. Also. Technically Philza isn't in the mental place for more adoption (read: he's mentally stable rn), but it would be soooo funny if he looked at Chilchuck and was like. Another child? Baby? But that's mostly because I love tormenting Chilchuck so very very much. Probably radiating disappointment the second he finds out Chilchuck is not really in his kids life that much currently due to the adventure. Appreciates Marcille's fireballs and black magic. Philza cannot distinguish between Izutsumi and 14 yo Wilbur that's just the same kid.

Wilbur ADORES all the food omg yes this is fantastic. And Marcille is cringing as it eats increasingly inedible dishes and sarcastically teasing her for not eating it. But Wilbur CANNOT handle Laios 'man I wish I was a monster' like he just can't he will punch Laios if he tries that. Him and Izutsumi have the nastiest kvetching sessions it's fantastic. Instant bonding over being distrusting brats that are desperate to be human. Cannot fathom the picky eater thing. Likes how paranoid Chilchuck is, although Chilchuck is convinced a mimic is going to pop out of its head at any time.

Tommy gets even worse dish duty than normal, but these crazy adventurers like. Are really amazed about his power? About how it can be used to sanitize stuff?? Like passionately going on about the health implications and Tommy is just staring at his hands as a wholesome anime monologue is happening in the background while he's having flashbacks to murder. [Marcille and Tommy would be most insufferable duo imaginable. I think they’d constantly butt heads given how bossy yet insecure both of them are. Tommy would eat mud in front of her and Marcille would have an aneurism. And he’d blow a fuse about her thinking he’s essentially a toddler by elf standards. however. Tommy would be extremely encouraging of her explosion magic to a degree that would cause structural damage to the dungeon.] Tries to show off and impress Izutsumi because GIRL!!1! And is very cringefail about it, she and Wilbur team up to bully him. He thinks Senshi is weird and groans about having two Philzas. Constantly riling Chilchuck up about his height.

Tubbo is like thank God normal people who aren't crazy murderers at first. And then decides they're all weirdos but not Problematic to the degree of Fault crew peoples. Thinks Marcille's magic is freaking awesome, and helps her control her meat dragon homunculous guys a lot better. Grand/kid talking with Chilchuck. uhhh ngl having trouble with Tubbo for some reason lol.

Also. On a very big note I think the world building re: monsters could lead to massive angst and tension between the groups. Especially with things like Laios crossing lines on 'humanoid monsters' as food. Like the entire group is constantly talking about eating monsters, and for the Fault crew that's very dehumanizing, racist, offensive, traumatizing, etc. Very high chance they end of fighting each other, however, the funny dynamic trumps all so that's what I went with.

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heymrspatel · 7 months ago

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✨Weekly Tag Wednesday ✨

i was tagged by @jrooc @stocious @michellemisfit @thepupperino @doshiart @sgtmickeyslaughter @gallapiech @blue-disco-lights @mmmichyyy @lingy910y @pookiebearmick @gallawitchxx @energievie and @gardenerian thank you lovelies!

Name and A03 handle: julissa | heymrspatel

Current Location: on my couch, slowly melting into the cushions. i'm so tired.

Favorite picrew (don't have one? you can skip this or do this one)? these two for sure! i think they capture my vibe well lol one & two

What's one thing you want in a picrew? ah! well, since i often start them i have a list of things that i usually look for to make sure that they're inclusive. sometimes i forget to check for certain things and then i'm annoyed lmao.

but ideally: big selection of skin tones, undercuts, the option for tied hair, short haircuts, different types of hair textures and colors, facial hair, scars, and big big ups if there's an option to change face shapes! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!

for me though: curly hair and big blushy (and fangs if available)

Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom? oh this is hard. i'll say, fluffy art: "doesn't matter where we go man", spicy art: "i need you to touch me"

Why is it your favourite? fluffy: because i went crazy with the details. i love that it tells a story. i love the colors i used. i love that pane of them watching the sunset. i love hands - hand on thigh, hand kiss, hand under shirt.

spicy: so. much. skin. i love all the positions i put them in. i love how it's sensual and teasing but you can't really see any of the "action" haha. tongues and chain and bruising. i love hands - hand in mouth, hand on neck, hand in hair.

Did it come easily or was it hard to create? HARD! lmao everything i make is hard to me. some things come easier now, but i really do drag my limp body all the way to the end.

Last ao3 fic you commented on? "keep you by my side" by biblionerd07!

Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced? ...things beyond mistake. i'm glad most of us are on the same painful page.

Favorite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic? i love friends/fwb to lovers and slice of life and outsider povs! also, only one bed or when they get stuck somewhere alone. ooooooh and i LOVE a good texting fic!

Least favourite? eeeh very iffy on the kid fics, depends on the writer. or mpreg. or big deaths.

Secret or surprising kink or trope? idk that anything's a secret? i'm out here giving you guys full visuals during kinktober...

Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new? ah- very vulnerable. accomplished but nervous. i literally post and run away.

Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: i usually keep whatever i'm working on under wraps for no reason other than i'm self conscious! but @whatthebodygraspsnot always cheers me on and is the most supportive and sends me the most eloquent keyboard smashes to keep a girl going!

It's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____? scroll through tumblr and, when my brain is cooperating on reading (it hasn't been), turn to my comfort fics!

i'm skipping the tag cause i'm late and i'm feeling weird! but i hope everyone's having a nice night/day/time zone!! 💙

#why did i talk so much? like what the fuck?#i've just been painfully awkward all day. from the minute i woke up.#weekly tag wednesday

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unlucky-rose · 2 months ago

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pspsps heyyy you made sprite edits for your oc right ⁉️ unless im misremembering in which case tjis is gonna b embarrassing af but UM

h. i don’t know how to do sprite exits do you have any tips ?? or something ??? i wanna make my own for another blog

Yeah I did! I kinda forget I don't really post about it on here that much bleh

Okay! So, first I think you gotta decide what game you wanna base your sprites on. I picked DR2 so most of my advice is gonna be based on that game- but each game has a slightly different way of making sprites (though DR1&2 are more similar). For example, DRV3's sprites are usually more detailed and use thinner lines compared to DR2.

Ex:

I use multiple DR2 characters as bases, but it's mostly for body position- and hands... grr

For shading, I picked a light grey color and used the multiply filter for the clothes, hair, and eyes, but for the skin, I used a lighter skin tone so there was more color to the skin. Fold shading is a bit odd, so keep in mind where your light source will be for the sprite (for all sprites it's either on the right or left).

The sprites can help inform where you need to put folds and shading, but honestly sometimes just wing it and draw them where it feels right (or look at irl references).

For hair, you're going to want to group them into sections and divide them by a few lines. With Chiaki above, she has rectangles of hair that are split up by shorter lines (front hair) and dividing lines (back hair). This isn't a hard rule (I mean look at Hajime and Komaeda), but multiple characters do have this detail and it gives the appearance there are more hair strands. Also, shade along these lines.

Eyes are another thing. Every character has unique eyes. Girls typically have eyelashes, but again not a hard rule (shuichi 💙). Also, the line of shading over the iris is always near the pupil (slightly above or below). It's really up to you how you wanna draw your character's eyes otherwise!

Referring to game sprites will help in general, but fan sprites can also give inspo if you can't find what you're looking for in game sprites.

Almost forgot to mention that the sprites are kinda messy if you take a closer look! Honestly I think they may have just cleaned up messy sketches to make the line art, but I forget to do that myself cause my brain wants perfect lines. So you can definitely shortcut sometimes and be messy. If it was good enough for the official game, it's good enough for tumblr ^^

Here's the texture I use to overlay onto Nitsumi's clothes and hair, you may wanna adjust the size and compare it to DR2 sprites.

Also in case you use ibispaintx, I use this brush, 0.3-0.4 for smaller details like hair and folds, 0.5 for the outer outline of a character.

Good luck! Tag me if you post them! :D

#asks [💬]#danganronpa #danganronpa sprite edit #creative stuff [🎨🖌]#nitsumi [🌂]

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korolife · 10 months ago

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Blog No.002🍋　24年5月4日

「Working on My Very First Miniature Kit!」

Hi, this is a behind-the-scenes on my experience in making the Corner of Happiness: Taste of Life DIY miniature kit!

It was from a couple of years ago, we found a stall selling miniature craft kits while strolling around the mall. My sister bought me the very same model I've been eyeing on my online shopping cart as a birthday present.

Me and my sister both love miniatures since we were very young, but making them from scratch require a lot of time, materials, and tools we don't really have (especially if you don't want them to look crudely made). Luckily, now with a Do-it-yourself kit, that wasn't going to be much of an issue! ...or so I'd hoped as a miniature newbie.

These are all the other variants of this series. I really dig the pink bunny aesthetics they're going for, though it's not as apparent on this one.

The kit also included custom wooden parts, wires, beads, and a tool kit necessary for the build. It also comes with an acrylic glass for dust-free casing!

Most of the parts were made from a print-out glossy paper with all the items' photo-real textures; some of which are just to be pasted onto a harder material like wood shaped similarly to the object, but most of them are just the paper itself.

I guess doing it this way cuts costs for manufacturing, but it was very challenging to work with, in my opinion. You'll see what I mean in a bit.

And here's a preview of the instruction booklet's contents.

I thought it was worded weirdly at parts, but still understandable enough with plenty of visuals to go with it.

Starting with the base/foundation of the model before anything else seemed to be the best option... though I was very, very tempted to skip to work on the food items. I don't know why, but miniature food just gets me really giddy.

But, gotta hold backーcan't make food without the oven and all.

I then worked my way through the biggest parts and set them down permanently with the paste provided in the kit.

...but I probably shouldn't have glued the kitchen island in place before placing the handles...aiyah one of them is really crooked-

I'm not familiar with wirings, so setting up the LED lights made me panic a little. But somehow, it all worked out! I'm confident that if an idiot like me can get through this, so can anyone!!

And now I present to you: The Paper Struggles™

+ and a "It's so fakken small" compilation.

The booklet is a lie lol that knife .jpg is 5x bigger than what you've got to work with-

I remember both bread toasts being squished from the tweezers... thankfully tiny enough for anyone to really see, but there's definitely a shtload of dents on there...

The wire handles for the mug was such a struggle lol it kept falling off no matter what, so I just kept adding glue and just... held on to it with pressure against the bead for what felt like eternity until it dried completely.

I also remember struggling with the semi-origami flowers quite a bit, but I think the trauma of it all made my brain forget to take photos-

Next up are the wires. I never really considered it before this kit, but they can actually have a lot of use when it comes to making miniature furnitures and accessories.

This was unfortunately before I got into making earrings, so I didn't have the right tools (pliers) to straighten them out. The very thin tweezers that came with the kit didn't help that much, so I just had to use my fingers.

The results... are as wobbly as the hands that created them lol I've learned my lesson...

that incomplete circle pains me so

And here we have my favorite partーthe food! All the tiniest of detailing, the garnishing, the arrangements... it just makes me so happy, I really don't understand why.

The original instructions only intended the oranges to be on the chopping board, but not in this household!!!

Oh, and the oranges were sliced up polymer clay rolls that I know are popularly used as nail art? Me and my sister used to sell polymer clay accessories back in the day and it felt very nostalgic seeing those tubes again.

And here we have the finished model! ☆

I made a few changes from the original intended 'look' + added a couple of my own beads from my hoard material collection from childhood I planned on using for when we started making miniatures... and the time for use was most certainly now!

Aaand here's a bird's eye view before completing with the dust-free acrylic glass encasing top lid.

～ CONCLUSION ～

Overall, I thought it was really fun, despite the unforeseeable challenges along the way. Even as a newbie with little to no experience working on actual builds + with only the enthusiasm and love for miniatures to desperately cling to when the damn wires wouldn't stick on their corresponding surfaces properly... it seemed to turn out pretty OK!! I expected a whole lot more screaming and dying inside lol If you're interested in getting it, I think simply searching up "Corner of Happiness" or "Taste of Life DIY miniature kit" should get you some results on your preferred online shopping platform! ※NOTE: I do have to stress to make sure to check (either through other user reviews or the listing's description) if the seller is including a tool kit in your purchase. A lot of the items included in this kit you can probably find at home, but not a lot of people are so crafty to just have them lying aroundーespecially if you're a complete newbie with crafts/miniatures! You'll have a hard time trying to wing it without tools. ※also, they might just skimp on you by not including them, but still have you pay for the full price lol it's definitely worth considering when purchasing.

I know a lot of parents may see these kits to buy for their kids, but unless ➀ they're also helping out the kid in the process or ➁ if the kid in question has no interest or patience for these kind of things, I think it's best not to buy them DIY kits like these if you don't want to risk wasting money. But that's just my opinion, as a broke adult who's always wanted one of these haha

The amount of care, effort, and attention to make sure everything is sturdy enough and visually clean can be very drainingー but if you're willingーanyone can do it!

And of course, a final very cool look on LED lights turned on at night.

This project was done around 2022年. I've done one more miniature kit since then that was way more complex, but that's a whole 'nother journal entry for another day...

For now, here's a mini update of how this Taste of Life is hangin' after two years have passed:

please don't mind Mr. Gamma side-eyeing you in the BG-

The batteries for the LED unfortunately need replacing and one of the wire chairs kind of died a bit, but it's still alive + currently displayed and part of my makeshift not-all-Shounen Jump Manga corner! I might make a separate blog about that too...

But until thenーthanks for reading ( ´ ꒳ ` )⸝ see you in the next one!★

#crafts #miniature #miniature model #kitchen #taste of life #corner of happiness #diy #diy kit #review #miniature dollhouse #miniature craft #craft kits #diy dollhouse #diy miniature

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rabbivole · 10 months ago

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i made a video of avbar1 with a longer clip but this website can't post video anymore so the tab crashed. which is funny given that roadtrip has succeeded on its last ~4 video upload coinflips. i'll put it on youtube unlisted tomorrow or something

anyway man i need to talk to somebody who knows more than me about what state tfc is in. because it's clearly not the ~2004 executable in some small and subtle ways, so i FEEL like they've changed it, but i don't know how. they've been doing small patches over the last decade or so, mostly security fixes, but i don't see anything larger than that. it's weird shit like 'i'm not sure it's calculating visleaf culling like it used to, because i can now see this area through the skybox that i know wasn't visible when i was a kid'

anyway hey, that archive has a house i submitted to a community neighborhood christmas map, look

got a satellite dish on the treehouse (for internet) and a christmas light texture i painstakingly edited in paint shop pro. not animated. i think i figured that out later but it was even more of a pain in the ass in goldsource than it is now

made those present textures in paint shop pro too. a fish tank with no fish (but it bubbles sometimes). and the most fucked up brush star i've ever seen in my life. look, times were different then, i didn't know about things like 'vertex grid alignment' and making models to go in your map was something only the truly cool kids knew how to do

got a glass of water by the bed. important. i have always been weirdly hung up on small details like this, apparently

and... whatever this sink situation is here. i had to take a minute and put myself into my precocious child brain and remember that, well, a treehouse wouldn't have plumbing, so in my swiss family robinson dreams i'll just put a water cooler in my treehouse. i thought about this stuff way too much as a kid. you can also turn a stove on and climb into it and die instantly. the fridge opens but there's no fridge light. smh

based on the modified date on the bsp, i think i would've been 11 here. there's a sign out front with my old [very explicitly feminine-gendered] username on it which i made a choice not to take a picture of and i can't really explain why. i have more or less posted my legal birth name and have no particular animosity towards that but this feels more invasive somehow. possibly because there's a very real chance you could dig up my Sonic Krazy Kult-ass posts. because i was posting on the internet when i was like, 9. although [TWO DECADES OF MASS INTERNET DEVELOPMENT] later that's no longer abnormal

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sincerely-sofie · 1 year ago

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Check-in for October 27th, 2023

I spent 3 hours straight working on a single assignment that was meant to take half as long as it did. It took all my brain power to complete it, and I couldn’t get much tangible work on personal projects done as a result. Still got some planning done for business stuff, though. And I’ve been gathering inspiration and references for my dating sim / visual novel project.

The visual novel doesn’t have a premise yet, but I’m building up some creative guidelines to help me generate ideas. I also am planning out some scope limits to keep the size manageable. With NaNoRenO coming up in March, I’m hoping to get all the prep work done at a leisurely but consistent pace over the next few months, then finish up the project over the course of March. That’s very wishful thinking, but you know what they say: “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” And if my wishing and daydreaming about goals is given the planned-out structure of a checklist and schedule, I can maybe, possibly, hypothetically complete this game.

I still need to think of a premise, though, so I better get cracking on that.

I’ve had a few ideas for visuals styles— like making scrapbook-y visuals with collages, journaling ephemera, and paper textures scanned in from real life, combined with actual photos for backgrounds. I’ve also had ideas for atmospheric flair, like typewriter noises playing whenever characters “speak.” Not sure if any of these would appear in my final product when I don't know what the story would even be, but I am very excited either way!

After doing some research on different visual novels, both ones I've played and ones that I've wishlisted or thought looked cool, I've tentatively decided I want to make a wackier sort of visual novel--- one that would preferably be a dating sim of some kind, but I'm not picky. I once drafted the ground work of a cryptid dating sim as a teenager where romance-able options included an angsty gray alien, a spoiled rich boy lizardman, a reverse-spiderman situation heroic vigilante mothman, and an eldritch god named Paul. That project is definitely too big for me to make with my current skillset and patience, so I can't take it on as a project quite yet--- but I can dream.

I'm tempted to make a dating sim based on some OCs in a setting I mentioned previously that is populated by bug people, but that's pretty niche, and I'm honestly not too sure if there's an audience for that sort of thing--- especially if it's essentially an extended inside joke with myself. Even so, I am tempted. So very, very tempted.

One day I will make finalized art of these characters, and everyone will know why they're peak examples of blorbohood.

That being said, I have other ideas that could be adapted to a visual novel or dating sim. One of them involves a tech enthusiast whose computer gets possessed by a malware demon, another details the player going on a blind date with a stereotypical "Hero of Prophecy" fantasy character, and another one is a playable bedtime story. I'll spend some time going through the archives of concepts and try brainstorming some new ones. Still going to need to take it easy for a while--- I've got a busy month coming up with NaNoWriMo, and I don't intend to burn out ahead of that--- but I'll be working on the concepts and required research at a gentle pace!

Seriously, though, fingers crossed on the possibly-completing-a-game thing! I finished a pilot / minimum viable product of an RPG titled Momther a while back and it made me realize I had the chops to actually enjoy game dev as a hobby--- I just have to stay focused and committed, ADHD be darned. If I manage my health well, both mental and physical, that should be nice and doable. I got this!!! Kinda!!! Hopefully!!!

Sincerely, Sofie

#sofie checks in #visual novel development #visual novel #game development #game dev #indiedev

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superman--yoosung · 2 years ago

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hi your matchups say they're still open, i hope this it okkk!! i'm 🐇

• i have no preference towards gender but i don't like super masculine characters

• i don't really use pronouns but she/her, ver/vers, it/its are ok. fem presenting but with androgynous swag. beautiful in a girlprince way

• adult character from genshin! only recently turned 18 though haha. no tighnari or childe pls!

• i loove fashion (designing it, studying it, wearing it), idols, rabbits and deer, sewing outfits + plush dolls and creaching around at night. i haate loud, messy people and lots of textures (i'm autistic). i hate the sunlight! terrified of dogs IRL but i'd be a collie or black german shepherd.

• i'm mostly quiet (INTP), i have no control over my tone/filter so i get people saying they thought i hate them/i look angry a lot. air-headed, very low attention-span and "bimbo" tier. clumsy most of time/i dont look at what im doing. i love acting valley girl or like a malnourished bimbo (idk). i'm like a dog with the personality of a cat. beliefs.. don't be a freak idk .. don't kill ppl and i will be judgmental if i don't like your vibes.

• i think i'd have electro vision just because i get it a lot on quizzes. i also connect to it the most aesthetically. id love a sword and id have a vv elegant/pretty fighting style ..

• personal flaw erm there's zero connection between my brain and mouth so i can't really communicate much of my real feelings (esp affection). i also struggle to connect with ppl!! i'm mostly disconnected 90% of the time so it's very hard to truly love (romantically or platonically) someone for me!

• i'm 162cm... vampire to the extreme i'm 100% a vampire if im in genshin.. very strict on skincare and how i look (sensitivity issues). OR half-deer.. or half-rabbit.. My personal aesthetic is ouji/lolita, victorian/gothic themes of Black Butler and The girl from the other side.. Dark fantasy/dark academia.. LOL

i'm TERRIBLE at giving affection and words of affirmation. i love words of affirmation though and i realllly jus want someone equally as love with me/if not more

Hello 🐇, nice to meet you!! Your matchup was challenging because I kept doubting my choices, thinking, "Wouldn't this or that character's design be a texture/sensory nightmare, though??" which is a really silly thing for me to get caught up in, of all the many factors involved. (But in my defense, all the characters have SO MUCH going on in their outfits haha!!)

Your matchup is.............................

KAZUHA !!

Meeting under the cloak of darkness once or twice could merely be considered coincidence... By the fifth time, however, Kazuha was certain: it was fate that continued to bring the two of you together.

To those unfamiliar with the elusive duo, a relationship such as yours might seem threadbare - after all, since you only made your appearance when the moon was at its highest, and Kazuha drifted from place to place like a leaf in the wind, it seemed unlikely that you would ever cross paths in important ways. But you both knew differently. Naturally, even the smallest of actions, a singular drop in a pool of water, becomes a ripple whose rings inevitably grow in meaningful ways.

This is how Kazuha views your relationship: subtle, and all the more beautiful for it.

Fun details:

It will not take too many meetings for Kazuha to find you endearing. He's observant, so the nuances of your interactions will linger in his mind long after you've left. He'll enjoy learning about you and your mannerisms! He will always be respectful of your boundaries, too - and with his sharp mind, he can often tell if you're bothered without you having to verbalize it. (He'll ask, anyways, though, just to be sure.)

Kazuha admires your abilities and passion in subjects you enjoy. Many of the evenings you spend beneath the moonlight or on cloudy days are filled with discussions that jump from topic to topic, sharing your interests with one another. Kazuha is an eager listener, so feel free to share your passions to your heart's content! He will remember most every word. But when you're feeling quiet or have nothing to share, he can fill the silence with his charming words - though quiet companionship is also enough, too.

Of course, he knows how clumsy you can be, but as long as he's around, the wind will keep you steady on your feet. If you're comfortable with physical touch, he'll reach out to balance you, or let you hold onto him. If not, he'll do his best to verbally warn you of any uneven terrain or obstacles in your path you haven't noticed.

You two are THE definition of elegance in battle. Kazuha can swirl your electro abilities, making potent reactions. And as sword users, you can both keep your skills sharp by practicing together!

If you ever give Kazuha one of your creations, it will almost instantly become one of his most treasured posessions. He will do his best to keep it safe from harm on his journeys - though the wear and tear clothing might get from constant use is, in a way, a sign of how much he loves it. (Please forgive him if the clothes or plushies do see some light damage, though; the mercenary life is not always kind.)

Once you've become closer, Kazuha will bring you gifts from his travels. They're mostly small things that remind him of you: a carving of a rabbit, some medicine for your most recent clumsy tumble's resulting scratches, a paper umbrella from Liyue to help block out the sun. Whatever he sees that he thinks would interest you or that you might find use for in your day-to-day life, he'll get. If you dislike any of them, he takes no offense to that, either - he'll quietly store the details of what you disliked about it in his mind for reference the next time he gets you something.

You want words of affirmation? Oh, boy, does he provide! It's actually rarer for him to not slip a compliment or reassurance into your conversations. He'll take any chance he can to remind you of how much he treasures your company, and should you decide to pursue a romantic relationship with him, how much he delights in giving you affection (and being the recipient of yours, in whatever ways you deign to give it.)

He will write the most stunning of poems with you in mind, string dozens of haikus together with your name as inspiration. And, in the quiet company of only you and the moon, he'll whisper words of devotion, of loyalty and hope.

Kazuha, if asked to point to the one thing he loves most about you, will laugh at the inquiry, shaking his head. How can one point to a cloud in the sky and call it superior to the others around it? Kazuha thinks all of the things that make you unique are inseparably what he loves you for. To ask him to pick one is to ask the impossible of him. Still, if it was you who pressed him for an answer, he might relent, and tell you this: your very presence, right here beside him under the nighttime tapestry of midnight blue and flickering stars, gives him a sense of belonging, makes him think that - yes - there are things far greater than a life of wandering... and they can all be found within the depths of your eyes.

~~I feel like many writers default to Albedo when someone mentions difficulty expressing emotions, and while I do love him for you too (for other reasons), I thought Kazuha would be better with words of affirmation and understanding what you may leave unspoken. I almost went with Rosaria or Yelan, also, as you both could be creatures of the night together (lol), but I hope this matchup is satisfactory!

#genshin impact #genshin impact matchups #genshin matchups #kazuha #🐇 anon

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dolphs-world · 6 months ago

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Cars vs. Monsters, Inc.

Monsters, Inc. is better. Monsters, Inc. has such a unique concept, the most unique out of its contemporaries, and a surprisingly deep theme around the electricity company, the emotional moments hit harder, the jokes are the funniest out of any Pixar movie, John Goodman, Billy Crystal, and Steve Buscemi is some of the best casting in general, and besides some of the textures (which is depressingly true for Monsters University as well) the animation holds up completely. The only thing Cars is better at is cinematography and direction, which is something not generally talked about in 3D animation films. Cars has a much deeper understanding of the language of cinema with its action scenes, montages, and editing. Cars is still a decent movie and, like the other first 11 movies, has deeper themes than American kids animation in the decades prior and after but the best aspects of Cars come from reading into the film. The story and moment to moment scenes are serviceable but the gesturing towards the erasure of smalltown America and the death of Paul Newman and Joe Ranft allow a deeper reading of the film. Cars is definitely the weakest film of those original 11 and doesn't hold a candle to Monsters, Inc. but it gets a lot of unfair criticism. A while back I talked about the idea of Cars' "Lazy Worldbuilding" and how it is false and a product of adults reading to deep into it. Not everything needs a complex and unique world like Dune, it's a representation of our world because it is a kids movie and it is a means to an end. Kids like cars more than humans in movies. This past week I've been thinking about the opening of Monsters, Inc., specifically the rhythm of the line deliveries. It's interesting the things that have been permanently etched into my brain and this opening is one of them. The lady saying "bup bup bup, ah" and "becaaaaauuse" and later Mike Wazowski speaking calmly then yelling than an airhorn to wake up Sully and then John Goodman's yell. So I decided to rewatch the opening and holy crap is it effective. The little 2D opening sequence, the bait and reveal, Mike and Sully starting their day. And the exposition is so effective. This is a performance review so no one is going to question them questioning each other about the way the world works. Mr. Waternoose's presence and how he demonstrates scream power in 2 shots is phenomenal, it should be taught in school. Monsters, Inc. may have the most effective opening in demonstrating how the world works. The next scene is Mike and Sully walking to work with little gags about how the world itself works. I love the detail of the door being a two for one, one for Sully and one for Mike. And then the cherry on top is Sully twisting the small door knob into the larger door, showing how the door works, and then shutting it completely, further demonstrating Mike and Sully's contrasting personalities. Then there's the scream shortage causing them to walk, Big Eye, the kid with the tongue being used as a skipping rope. But hold on, some monsters can sneeze fire so shouldn't newspapers be flame retardant? How can Ted live here, he doesn't fit in frame and I didn't see any houses big enough in the city? And sewer grates so that jelly monsters can lose their bodies? This is now actually shitty worldbuilding because it doesn't account for everyone's needs and just isn't practical. Do you see how silly that sounds? The point of those little additions is that their jokes. There are differences between monsters and humans so we're showing you via human concepts like sewer grates and newspapers and how they wouldn't work here. Monsters, Inc. doesn't get this bad-faith criticism because it's a way more beloved movie than Cars. "I don't like Cars but I have to pick apart every aspect of it and rationalise it so I sound smart and because I can't just admit that the story and characters just aren't that effective, there has to be something more for my distaste otherwise people may not respect me". Understand why something is effective beyond picking apart every little detail.

#monsters inc #cars #pixar #pixar cars

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toldentops · 2 years ago

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16 and 29 for the artist ask

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

Hmmm.............I can't say I'm "good" at backgrounds nor can I say that I have "fun" with them, but when I do pull off backgrounds I tend to be pretty happy with them. I think it's more of the mindset of actually deciding to do a background in the first place, it isn't something I intuitively gravitate towards if I sit down to draw something.

Also, funnily enough, doing the lineart if the piece isn't super detailed. I dread doing it if it's right in the middle of being simple and complex, where there's not enough lines or texture going on to make doing the lineart fun or interesting. I still think that linework is one of my stronger art skills!

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

Probably the live action films that I watch and enjoy! Something like Baby Driver where the main appeal isn't from the visual style. This question is hard because I grew up watching primarily animated films where the art choices and style tends to be much more distinct, so it sticks in my brain way more often. I think media where the art style isn't something I could find myself drawing also counts. Like, I love Hades, but the characters seem really hard to draw and "get right", so it's not something I really draw inspiration from in terms of art style.

#al speaks #asks

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happyselves · 4 years ago

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Disaster qualification ( A Portimao story ) { Daniel Ricciardo x reader }

You were searching for your best friend Daniel in the paddock and garage of Mclaren, but he was nowhere to be found, you even asked a mechanic and some journalist. It wasn't his kind to leave like that and he wasn't answering his phone, but after that terrible qualification where he didn't pass through Q1, you weren't surprised. He needed a break, he was feeling pressure and anxious and you never saw him like that before, of course he knew that he needed time to adapt his driving style adn himself to his new car to make it one ,but he was starting to feel depressed as it wasn't going as fast as he thought. That's a thing you like in Daniel, he will always have that competitive side in him even after 10 years doing the job. His determination was always there, but he needed things to go as he planned otherwise he was starting to doubt himself and everything was starting to go downhill. You knew that he needed just a little push, a little sign that he was doing something good and he was evolving or going in the right way, it was a matter of time but he was so stubborn and impatient.

After more than an hour of searching for him you find his engineer who told you that he was quiet the whole debrief and just mumbled a quick " I'm going back to the hotel ". So that's where he was, back in the hotel, probably at the gym hitting the frustration away on some punching ball perhaps. His engineer asked you if you wanted to take the ride to go back to the hotel with them since he left you all alone in the paddock. You couldn't believe he let you there, even Michael. You needed to have a talk with him too after you find Daniel and scold him as well.

Arriving in the hotel lobby you ask at the front desk where the gym was and they show you the direction, but when you enter it, no trace of Daniel or MIchael, well there must be only one place he could be and you were heading to eat now. You knock on his bedroom door, once, twice and one last time before remembering that he actually gave you one spare key if you needed anything, you didn't really know why he did but right now you were glad he did as you opened the door. It was dark, all the countain were close and only an ambiance light was on, and then you find him, sitting on the floor, only wearing a long shirt and his boxers, the rest of his clothes messy on the floor. He didn't even look up when he heard someone coming in, perfectly knowing it was you, plus he was to focus on his big tub of ice cream that was already halfway through eaten. You silently sit next to him, your head laying on the edge of the bed, watching the ceiling. You didn't have to wait long for him to offer you his spoon for you to take some of his vanilla ice cream. Vanilla ... so cliche yet you knew that when he was feeling down it was always the one it would choose because it was a safe choice. You took the spoon and dug it in the melted ice cream before bringing it to your lips, where he finally looked at you.

" Are you here to scold me or to witness my misery ? " he asks you, almost lost in his mind as his eyes focus on your lips where some vanilla fell down the spoon, he licked his own lips as he was waiting for you to answer.

" I don't know, I was going to kick your ass for forgetting me at the track then ice cream came into the party so I guess you already know what I think of what you did, right ? " You were now going to sit straight in front of him.

" I fucked up ... " he was defeated, like he lost hope and belief in him and it never happened to him before, maybe once or twice in his career but not recently, not when everyone including him knows how great of a driver he is. It's like your heart broke at the sight of him like this.

" You know that didn't mean anything, you will be better tomorrow, I know you know it too." You tried to reassure him, putting your hands on his knees, searching for his gaze, but you felt it didn't really work this time.

" No, look at the reality, I still can't do anything in this car, I don't know why, that's not them it's me and I'm scared I won't be able to deliver what I promised them" Yes you definitely never saw him like that, the team wasn't really putting pressure on him, they knew he needed time and everyone one else, if there were someone to blame here, that would be the media here, you were sure of it, Daniel isn't someone to give up, even when it hurts, he take the punch and fight back silently if he needs to, showing everyone the flame he had in him the next day. The flame wasn't here right now, you were searching for it as he finally locked eyes with you, but it was nowhere to be found. How will you be able to bring it back ?

" Daniel ... look at me " you took the ice cream tub away from his hands to put it as far on the floor as possible. Your hands find his face directly after that, taking his cheeks in your palm to force him to face you.

" You are Daniel Ricciardo, you are not done at all and you will get up and do better tomorrow, this qualification didn't mean anything even your team isn't mad about it, Daniel don't start to listen to the media again, you know they are just trying to write on blank paper because they don't have better story to feed themselves with. You are better than this and you need to believe in yourself the same way I believe in you, otherwise you might just quit then and we both know you are not a quitter. " This long motivational sentence felt more like a declaration to your friend and by the way his eyes showed a bit of sparkle, you knew you had reached him there. His eyes were focused on yours and you felt they were piercing your soul making you suddenly feel very shy, your own cheeks blushing. You didn't let go of Daniel's face, blown away by how handsome he was in this moment, so vulnerable under your touch. The new emotion you were discovering of him was drawing new lines on his beautiful face, making him even more mesmerizing. Your fingers were caressing his skin like he was the most precious thing in the world. These tired lines make him slightly older than he was but you find it charming. His eyes shut at the touch and he let a long breath he has been holding for long leave his chest. Your index finds his eyelid, touching and examining every little detail of your best friend. You never did that before with him, with anyone else for that matter and it felt so intimate yet you couldn't stop and the most important thing was that you didn't want to anyway.

His hands find yours, placing them on top of it and taking them in as he opens back his eyes, his lips brushing your fingers to kiss them as what you find to be a thankful gesture.

" You always know what to say to me, no matter what you are always here for me even when I am trying to push you away far to not hurt you " His sincerity knocked you, was he thinking that he was hurting you ?

" You didn't hurt me Daniel, what hurt me is seeing you like this and not being able to do much to make you feel better, I want to do so much for you, that might sound selfish, but just to be able to see that beautiful smile of you, I would do anything " You were entering a dangerous category here and you didn't know if it was something a friend would say in normal term. The last phrase piqued his curiosity and you saw it had his eyes change radically.

" Anything ? " Your hands were still locked in his, he was caressing your skin with his thumb until the pressure felt more firm and he brought you closer to him, making you lose balance and almost fell on his chest. It was dangerous and you like it, you never thought of him this way but the possibility of something more with him just smash open a door in your brain. You didn't know if you should let everything go as it comes or stop it right now before it's too late. Your brain couldn't think at all, not like your pounding heart in your chest.

" anything ... yes " He didn't have the time to act before you close the gap between you two and catch his lips. It was just a peck but that was enough for him to freeze, not moving an inch before he realised what was happening.

That's where his lips react on their own and kiss you back, deepening the kiss, releasing all the passion he didn't know he had for you. The texture of your lips throwing him off the edge, the vanilla taste of the ice cream still on your lips. He let go of your hands to catch your thighs, making you uncross them to straddle him and being even more close to his body. Your hands find their perfect place on the back of his neck and head, playing with the dark curls of his hair. You feel like time has stopped and all the anxiety was leaving Daniel's body, you were like a medicine to him. Healing him from all his worries, nothing matters in this instant, not the race tomorrow or the qualification that he had today or even the consequences of it, just you ... only you. It took you all the courage in you to break the kiss and make him look at you, because he didn't know why you stopped it since it was feeling so good and so right.

" Daniel ... " The words were stuck in your throat, you didn't even remember what you wanted to say as his eyes laid on you, if you didn't know him better you would have said that he was very adorable, but no he was doing his puppy face with his swallowed lips from the kiss. .You know exactly what he was trying to do and it's not the change of dynamics in your relationship that will erase his behavior when he wants something. He wanted you to write on his face, he could even try to hide it and he didn't want to, that's why his hands were now finding their way sneakily under your shirt, like you wouldn't notice.

" You need to rest, we have all the time to continue << this >> another time, but it's late and you need to rest " You were poking his chest, making him giggle. If he was asking you if you wanted to continue this, you weren't sure that you would be capable of saying no, but he gladly asked something else.

" Then, stay with me, sleep in my bed tonight, just tonight ... I don't want to be alone " Puppy eyes ... again and your heart melts ... again. How were you able to resist him before ? Since your lips touch his it was impossible now, your brain wasn't thinking and your body couldn't be in total control around him.

" Okay I will stay ... if you promise me to behave '' He lifts his hands up in the air looking like an innocent baby, mimicking with his fingers an invisible zip on his lips.

You both got in bed, you borrowed one of his shirts and decided to only wear it with your panty. You fell asleep easily in each other's arms,but it's later in the night when you turn that you felt Daniel spooning behind you, grabbing one of your breasts with one hand, the other one grabbing you by the waist to get closer. His breath in your neck, sensing your scent before leaving some butterflies to kiss. He was definitely awake and was now lifting your shirt to feel your skin. You were in a state where you weren't awake but aware of what was happening. You tried your best to hide the smile that was forming on your face but it was impossible when your new lover was making it very clear he wanted you. Slightly opening your eyes, it was still dark outside which could only mean it was too early to wake up and that you should both sleep again, especially him since he had to race tomorrow and he couldn't lose sleep even if you both wanted to explore each other's bodies for the remainder of the night. You hummed a quick moan before turning to face him, you could barely see his figure in the dark but you could imagine how he was hungrily watching you. Touching his lips with your fingers you feel his teeth biting his down lips. He was definitely leaning toward your touch like he never had someone come in physical contact with him tenderly.

" Daniel ..." was the only thing your tired voice could say before the breath you were holding released itself. " You have the race tomorrow ", you poke his chest with your finger, trying to distance yourself from his warm embrace.

" I don't care, what matters to me now is you ", he caresses your cheeks from the palm of his head before letting it hang on the side of your neck. One movement toward him and your lips would meet again.

" You don't think about the race because you are tired, and that's exactly why I've made you promise to behave", you whispered that last part, thankful the dark was hiding your cheeks burning at the idea of him and you. After what felt like an eternity, but just a couple of seconds in real silence you heard him lick his lips and he moved away from you, putting a physical distance between your two bodies like an act of resistance from him.

" You're right ... ", it wasn't sadness or disappointment in his voice, more like his inner voice of reason making an apparition in his blurry thought,blind by lust until now.

" Trust me I want you just as much, I've just find you, we are finally on the same page, and I promise you that I am fighting just as much as you right now not to touch you and have you only for me ", you rambled and he shush you just as quick as your word coming out of your mouth.

A sigh came out of his mouth and you felt him sniffing his body on the back, his eyes looking at the nonexistent ceiling in the dark. He searches your hand to tranglying your fingers together and keeps the contact between you. You soon after did the same and you were now two idiots looking at nothing, your eyes not finding anything to focus on and they shut themselves to rest.

You fell asleep like this, side by side, holding hands, frustrated to not have given to the pulsion you both had.

The brightness of the room was what woke you, it was hard to open your eyes and when you did, the light and the tiredness of your eyes blinded your vision, a tear forming on the corner of one eye was soon to be wrapped away by a finger. His finger, he was awake, sitting on the side of the bed, already ready to leave for the paddock.

" Hello beautiful ", he said and his voice could be compared to that of an angel. " I've got to run for debrief but you can stay in a bit longer if you want, I ordered breakfast for you it shouldn't be long to arrive ", he was so careful, you hadn't really clarified the relation between the two of you, but was the word couple needed when he was already being so perfect ? You knew it wasn't an act for your new dynamics because he was already like that before. He kissed you on the cheek and stood up, you were already missing him and he wasn't even gone yet.

" mmh, give me an hour and I will join you ", your sleepy voice made him smile so bright that it was competing with the sun to know which one will warm your heart the most.

" See you there ", was the last thing he said before he disappeared in the hallway, closing the door behind him.

That day he end up p9 which was a huge work from him and the team after the knock out in q1 from yesterday. You felt proud of him even if he wasn't feeling the car like his own yet. You Saw him briefly after the race, when he offered you a hug and a small kiss on the lips, a kiss that felt like a thank you for always being there for him and putting his needs before yours. Thank you for being the best friend he needed, the ears who listen to his complain and the voice of reason in his head. The person that will make him feel better no matter how down he feel. You both didn't needed words to express how last night change everything in your relationship but not so much in your friendship. You were evolving together and it was only the beginning of something beautiful that didn't need an end. A book you start reading but never end because there is no end. The only end you knew so far was the promising end of the day. He took time to whisper in your ears before leaving for his post-race interview.

Yes it was definitely an end you were looking forward to indeed.

MASTERLIST

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allegra-writes · 5 years ago

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“Fool’s gold”

Peter Parker x Reader

NSFW

Warnings: Smut. Sex pollen.

This is an alternative version to my fic "Fireproof", where the reader gets doused by the sex pollen instead of Peter, but you don’t need to have read that first. As any sex pollen fic, this can qualify as non/dub-con, so read at your own discretion and responsability.

Dedicated to @angel-spidey because without her this would have never seen the light of day💓

MY MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

Peter knew it was wrong. He knew it. He wasn't delusional enough to believe it was something other than the pollen making you act that way. Making you say those things. You had always been sweet to him, that was true, but you were sweet to everybody, didn't make any difference if they were a janitor or an avenger, it was one of the reasons he liked you so much.

He also knew he wasn't the only one. His eyes weren't the only pair of eyes that strayed to you in the lab, Harley too seemed to be rather distracted whenever he was in your presence. And in fact, Peter didn't think he had ever seen Steve visit the lab that often before. Ever. And the guy was freaking Captain America, how could he ever compete with that?

You didn't feel the same way about him, he had resigned to that a long time ago. To watch you from afar. To love you from afar. Because at least that much was true: the only way he knew he beated the other two men, beaten them by a long shot, was that he loved you the most.

That was why he had left the med bay, because he couldn't stand it, seeing you like that, fighting against your restraints, skin flushed and eyes on fire, calling him, begging him to…

He wasn't able to resist it.

And why he had walked away from the lab, leaving Bruce and Tony and even Stephen, to wrack their brains trying to find a cure, when the obvious solution was right in front of them.

That was how he had found himself alone, in the dark, pretending to nap in the little on call room right outside the med bay, still in his suit after that disastrous mission they should have never let you tag along in the first place. Far enough from you not to hear your desperate pleas, but close enough to help if something happened. If the damn alien substance raised your fever enough to- No. He wasn't going to think about that. Dr. Banner was going to come up with an antidote. They still had time.

Yeah, he knew it was wrong. He knew he should have told FRIDAY to alert mister Stark as soon as he heard the soft sound of your footsteps on the hallway. He knew he should have fled as soon as the knob turned and you entered the room. As you made your way to him. But he was paralized, frozen in place, as you leaned down over him, running your hot, way hotter than normal, hands down his chest, leaving fiery trails in their wake over the thin skin tight fabric of his suit. You raked your nails over his abs, feeling the muscle riple under your touch.

"Y-you shouldn't be here" He stammered, as your fingertips came close, dangerously close, to the place where his suit was already starting to feel tight around his hips.

"Hmm… but you won't tell on me" your thumb traced the base of his length, a barely there caress that nonetheless had him jumping. "Will you, Peter?"

He breathed you in, another mistake. He could practically smell your desire, leaking through your pores. Pheromones, sweet and mouthwatering.

He wouldn't. He couldn't.

Even in the dark, he saw you smile bright at his surrender. Discarding your lab coat, you straddled his hips, little blue skirt riding up your thighs, and released your hair from its ponytail as Peter watched, entranced by your every move. You spread your legs a little more, letting your center come in contact with his by then obvious erection. He could feel your heat through his suit, choking on thin air when he realized you weren't wearing any underwear.

"F-fuck…" He gasped, eyes rolling back inside his skull as you started rocking above him.

He tried desperately to hold still, to stop himself from bucking his hips up to meet yours, but it was impossible. Every cell in his body telling him to move, to touch, to take what he had wanted for so long. What he had never dared to dream he could have.

You moaned at the delicious friction you were creating, and you could hear him starting to breathe harder too. He felt amazing, a soothing balm to your burning skin everywhere you touched. This was what you needed, what the chemicals running in your blood demanded. He was warm, and hard, and male. But more than that, he was Peter, and he had to be yours. There was no other way, no other ending for this story.

You grinded your pelvis against his harder, the pressure on your clit just perfect, the coarse texture of his suit only adding to the sensations. You were making a mess of it, ruining it, but it was worth it just to hear his groan the moment your wetness seeped through the fabric.

"We can't… we can't do this" Peter tried to protest, even as his hands flew to your waist to aid your movements.

"Why? Because an alien pollen is messing with my head?" You got rid of your t-shirt, and Peter's reply died in his throat, you weren't wearing a bra either "because it's wrong? Because It's dirty and-"

A wounded sound left Peter's mouth, a wordless surrender, a sob at his own damnation, and he snapped, his fragile control finally shattering to pieces. One second you were on top of him, teasing him within an inch of his life, and the next you were trapped between the soft mattress and his hard body, as his lips ravished yours, one hand roughly massaging your breasts, the other slipping under your skirt, searching blindly, fingertips digging into the delicate skin of your inner thighs. He was furious in his onslaught, desperation clear in the way he was kissing you, all teeth and tongue. Greedy. Ravenous.

Because if this was all he was ever going to get, just one night with you, as you used him to scratch an itch, then he was going to make the most of it. He was going to commit every little detail to memory: The shape of your body under his, the taste of your skin, the smell of your hair, vanilla and cinnamon and something else, something uniquely you. The sweet little moans falling from your lips.

"Peter, please"

He almost died when you said his name like that, breathless and needy.

"What do you need, princess?" He sobbed, "Anything… it's yours…just-"

"You. I need you" You replied, graceless fingers clawing at his suit, "take it off, please, I need to feel you"

He obeyed, pressing the spider on his chest and practically kicking it off in his haste to return to you. You welcomed him back with open arms and open legs, as he crawled up your body, kissing every inch of skin he could find in the way. Your breath hitched when he got to that little spot just under your breast, and you could feel his smile against the curve of it, right before his lips enveloped your left nipple, calloused fingers circling the other one clumsily, unskilled. But you were too delirious, too far gone to notice, the miles of skin against yours both soothing and stroking the fire within at the same time.

You cried out,

"Peter! Please, it hurts so much, please! I- I can't-"

He kissed the tears away, softly, delicately. A stark contrast to his own demeanour just minutes ago.

"I-it's ok. I got you" He cooed, caressing your face "I'll make it better. I promise"

He braced himself on one arm, elbow digging into the mattress next to your face, as he wrapped the fingers of his free hand around himself, aligning with your center. It took him a few tries, even slipping out once. He had no idea what he was doing, only knew that you needed him, and he wasn't going to let you down. Your life depended on it, and it was too important, too precious for him to even think of failing.

You raised your hips just a bit, and he was sliding in, easily, so easily, as if he was meant for it. As if your bodies were two pieces of the same puzzle, finally falling into place.

"Oh god…"

You clutched as his shoulders, burying your hiss into his neck.

"Oh my god are okey? Did I hurt you?" The panic in Peter's voice made you smile despite yourself. He was still Peter, the sweetest most caring guy you had ever met. Soft, even with his hard cock so deep inside you, you could feel it in your soul, in your very essence, already claiming you as his.

But you didn't need gentle. You didn't want him to thread softly. You needed hard, and fast, and more.

"Peter… fuck me"

"I-..." His eyes met yours, and you saw a new determination in them, jaw squaring as he withdrew almost completely, only to surge again, tearing a new cry from your lips.

He let instinct take over, starting to thrust in and out of you, your tight, silky heat making his eyes roll inside his head

"Fuck! Oh god… oh my god… you feel…" He panted, amazed, handsome face scrunching in pleasure, eyes closed and mouth slack, "Fuck, you feel so good!"

You wanted to reply, to tell him how amazing he felt too, every inch of his thick hard cock stretching you just right. Every ridge, every vein sending shocks of pleasure to your body until you couldn't see straight. You could feel you peak already building, with every delicious drag.

"More… Peter, please… more"

How could he say no, when you were begging so prettily in his ear, hand tugging at his curls making it hurt so good? He picked up his pace, hips slapping against yours. Over, and over, and over…

You were still on fire, every inch of your skin alight, exploding in sensation but it didn't burn anymore. Now it was a simmering warmth, making everything sharper, more intense. Better than anything you had ever felt before. He was better than anything you had felt before.

And Peter was lost in you, in your moans, in your body, in your cunt. In the way you were taking him, consuming him. You wrapped your legs around his waist, changing the angle, letting him reach deeper, bury himself almost to the hilt. Your blunt nails digging into his back until he smelt blood.

He fucking loved it, love the idea of carring your marks even after this was over. He knew he wanted you to wear his.

His lips found your neck almost of their own accord, sucking and nibbling until the sounds leaving your throat were nothing short of pornographic, the wanton whines and moans resonating in the room until he was sure Bruce and Tony could hear them all the way to the lab.

"Yes, scream for me baby girl, let them know how good I'm fucking you" Peter didn't know where it was coming from, that arrogance, that… possesivenes. He knew you weren't really his. It was the pollen, you would never be doing this otherwise. And he probably wasn't that good, it was his first time after all.

But your cries, the way your whole body was trembling under his, were giving him confidence.

"Oh god… you're coming for me, aren't you? You gonna come on my cock?"

You opened your mouth in a silent scream, and he almost fell on top of you taken by surprise by the feeling of your walls squeezing his cock for the first time ever, triggering his own release. But he didn't have time to recover before you croaked a weak but firm,

"More"

He met your eyes, stunned, but all he found there was assurance and passion.

He turned around on the small bed so it was you the one on top.

"Ride me"

You didn't need to be told twice, straightening on top of him, rising slightly on your knees only to let yourself fall back down, impaling yourself on his dick. He licked his lips, looking like a king with a hand behind his head, gazing up at you through hooded eyes.

"Show me"

"What?"

He gestured towards the mini skirt you forgot you were still wearing.

"Lift up that pretty skirt, and let me see how good you take my cock"

A little whine left your mouth at his words, and you did as you were told, never stopping your bouncing motions.

It worked as Peter imagined it would, his softening cock coming to life again as he watched it disappear inside you.

"Look at that" he whispered, almost in awe, "such a beautiful pussy, looks so pretty, stuffed full of my cock…"

You picked up your rhythm, a little unstable on shaky legs, both hands still holding the fabric up and out of the way.

"Peter…" you whimpered.

"What do you need, baby girl? I told you, anything you want is yours… I'm yours"

You moaned, incapable to find the words. Thinking was impossible, speaking was inconceivable, not with him still between your legs.

He bucked his hips,

"Uh!"

"That what you want, princess?" He smirked, smug, "Like it better when I give it to you?"

You nodded, shamelessly, your legs burning with the effort but stopping was not an option. He sat up on the bed, enveloping you with his arms, thrusting up into you faster, deeper…

You felt the head of his cock stab your cervix, and he must have felt it too, because he groaned, eyes glazing over.

"Can you feel me? Feel how deep I am?"

"Yes" You hissed.

"Gonna come like this…" He took hold of your hips, bringing you down hard as he thrusted up, "come so deep inside you… mark you… from the inside"

You could feel it approaching fast, the pleasure he was inflicting on you too much, too soon.

"Fill you up so good…"

"Yes"

"Until it's gushing out of you… and then… gonna fuck you again…"

"Yes!"

"Come inside you again… make you my little cumslut…"

"Yes! Please… please give it to me"

He could feel you tense around him again,

"What do you need, princess?"

"Your come" You screamed, "Give me your come, Peter!"

"Fuck! My pretty little slut… take it… Take it!"

And you did.

…

You passed out somewhere between rounds five and six, utterly sated and exhausted, but Peter couldn't sleep, terrified of the moment you woke up, all the pollen consumed, the spell broken. He knew it wasn't real, but for a few hours, he had been happy, pretending you truly did love him, wanted him, as he had loved and wanted you since the first time he had seen you, all that time ago, the day mister Stark had entered the lab with you in tow, announcing Peter that he had a new lab partner.

He was running his fingers softly up and down your naked back, a barely there caress, watching you sleep, relaxed and happy, when he heard the buzzing coming from your lab coat, long forgotten on the floor near the bed. He took it out and saw Tony’s name lighting up the scream.

He slid to pick up.

“Fucking finally! Y/n, where the hell are you?!”

“Mister Stark, it’s me” He whispered his reply, as not to wake you up.

“Peter! Thank God! What happened? Please tell me you didn’t-“

“Sorry, Mister Stark,” Peter interrupted him, “We kinda did…”

“Shit! Please, Peter, please tell me you kids used protection!”

“Uh…”

Tony left out another loud curse at the other side of the line.

“Where are you? Y/n did something to Friday and now it won’t tell me where you are in the tower. You still in the tower right? I need the both of you to come to the lab right now” Tony was talking a mile a minute and Peter knew something very bad, not of the good was going on.

“Why?”

“Because,” Tony’s voice was frantic as he tried to explain the gravity of the situation, “That pollen thing? That’s not an aphrodisiac like we thought, it’s a fertility treatment. It messes your hormones and hers up with every fluid exchange! Like an artificial heath”

Peter turned to look at you, peacefully asleep, curling up to his side, blissfully unaware of anything and everything going on outside that bed.

And maybe it was the alien substance fucking up his brain, maybe he was the one fucked up, all by himself, but the mental image of you, round with his child, sleeping like that next to him every night? It wasn’t half as horrifying as Tony seemed to think it was.

After all, the girl of his dreams was finally his, and a baby would guarantee she would remain his, forever.

“You know what, Mister Stark? I have to go now. Talk to you tomorrow…”

“What? No, kid, don’t hang up on me! Peter Parker I swear-…”

Tony Stark heard the line go dead.

The end.

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