#i am going INSANE after watching this movie

[cei1ne]

—What the Bakusquad does for you on Valentine’s day, aka the most romantic holiday!

:..｡o○Summary: Heacanons and Scenarios about Bakusquad members and what they do for you on Valentine’s Day and how they act

:♡.•♬✧⁽⁽ଘPairing: Bakugou Katsuki ; Kirishima Eijirou ; Denki Kaminari ; Sero Hanta

✧༺༻✧Tags: Fluff ; Cute ; Dating ; In love ; Tsundere ; Loving ; Acts of Service; Words of affirmation; Giving gifts

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳Wordcount: 11k

⡈⡠*✩A/N: Happy late Valentine’s guys! I was super sick the past few days so this is a little sloppy but I hope you guys will still enjoy it! Love you and hope you enjoyed the holiday! And btw I am half-asleep so I’m sorry if it’s sloppy again, I tried my best. Don’t be afraid to give your opinions in the chat I want feedback xx!

«───── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ─────»

—Headcanons of how the Bakusquad members would act on Valentine’s Day!

_________________________________

Bakugou Katsuki

1. Lowkey but Thoughtful: He acts like he doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day but secretly puts in effort. His gift isn’t flashy—it’s something deeply personal that proves he pays attention to you.

2. Homemade Meal: He refuses to deal with crowded restaurants, so he cooks you an insane homemade dinner instead (and it’s amazing).

3. Actions Over Words: He’s still terrible at expressing feelings, but his actions scream love. He’ll pull you close while watching a movie, hold your hand tightly when walking, or brush hair from your face when you’re not paying attention.

4. Jealousy Shows: If someone flirts with you, expect him to glare daggers and throw an arm around you, making it very clear who you belong to.

5. Soft Moment Before Bed: When the day is over, he lets his guard down just a bit, murmuring something gruff but affectionate like, “Tch… had a good time, I guess. Don’t get used to it, idiot.”

Kirishima Eijiro

1. Big Romantic Gesture: He’s the type to go all out—roses, a big date plan, maybe even fireworks if he can pull it off. He wants to make you feel special.

2. Handmade Gift: He’s great with his hands, so he’ll craft something for you—maybe a custom bracelet, a carved wooden keepsake, or a cute love note hidden in a heart-shaped rock.

3. Adventurous Date: He doesn’t want to do the typical dinner thing—he might take you rock climbing, ice skating, or even on a surprise trip to the beach just to be different.

4. Physical Affection Overload: Expect him to be extra cuddly, with bear hugs, forehead kisses, and randomly lifting you off the ground.

5. Endless Compliments: He can’t stop telling you how amazing you look and how lucky he is to have you—he genuinely means every word.

Denki Kaminari

1. Goofy but Sweet Gift: He tries to find the coolest or funniest Valentine’s gift—maybe matching heart-shaped sunglasses, a mixtape of love songs (including meme songs), or a plushie that says something ridiculous when squeezed.

2. Surprise Flash Mob (or Attempted One): He definitely tries to put on some grand, embarrassing performance, whether it’s a public serenade or a TikTok-worthy dance.

3. Gets Super Nervous: He’s confident until the actual date starts, then suddenly starts panicking about whether you’re enjoying yourself.

4. Accidentally Short-Circuits: If you kiss him or say something super sweet, there’s a good chance his brain fries for a second. You might have to reboot him.

5. Late-Night Stargazing: After all the chaos, he genuinely enjoys a peaceful moment just lying down together, looking at the stars, and talking about random things.

Sero Hanta

1. Laid-Back But Sweet: He’s not the type to go overboard, but he does make sure you feel special—whether it’s with a handwritten letter, your favorite snacks, or a playlist of songs that remind him of you.

2. Unique Date Idea: He avoids cliché fancy dinners. Instead, he might take you to a drive-in movie, set up a rooftop picnic, or go roller skating together.

3. Jokes to Hide Nervousness: He’ll make dumb jokes the entire time to cover up how much he actually wants the date to be perfect.

4. Cuddles Over Everything: He loves just being close to you—whether it’s throwing an arm around your shoulders, resting his head on yours, or pulling you into a cozy blanket fort.

5. Cute but Teasing: He’ll absolutely playfully tease you all day—“Whoa, you’re really into me, huh?”—but the second you tease him back, he gets all flustered.

«───── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ─────»

—Scenarios of how they would plan out the Valentine’s Day!

_________________________________

Bakugou Katsuki

Valentine’s Day wasn’t really Bakugou’s thing.

He hated the commercial nonsense, the heart-shaped decorations everywhere, and the way couples acted extra just because it was February 14th. The idea of being forced to be romantic just because of a stupid holiday pissed him off.

But… then there was you.

And somehow, you made all that crap seem a little less annoying. Period were the best

Which was why, despite all his complaining, he found himself standing in the kitchen, sleeves rolled up, a deep scowl on his face as he meticulously chopped vegetables for a homemade dinner.

He could’ve easily taken you to a restaurant—hell, he had the money to rent out the nicest one in town if he really wanted to. But that wasn’t his style. Too many people, too much noise, and the last thing he needed was a bunch of extras gawking at him while he was trying to have a date.

No, he wanted tonight to be personal. Just the two of you.

The smell of seared meat filled the air as he worked, his movements sharp and precise. He was making your favorite dish—not that he’d ever admit he remembered the exact way you liked it. But he did. Of course, he did.

As he flipped something sizzling in the pan, he glanced at the clock. You’d be here soon.

His heart did a weird little thump.

He ignored it.

_________________________________

When you arrived, you were met with the surprising sight of Bakugou—apron on, standing in the middle of a very put-together candlelit dinner. The table was set, the food smelled amazing, and if you didn’t know him better, you’d think he’d actually been excited to do this.

“Wow,” you breathed, looking around. “Did you—?”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t make a big deal out of it,” he grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just dinner. Sit down before it gets cold, dumbass.” We all know damn well—

You smiled, sitting across from him. The first bite was heaven. “Katsuki… this is amazing.”

He scoffed, but you didn’t miss the way his ears turned pink. “’Course it is. What, you think I’d cook you some half-assed shit?”

Dinner went on like that—him pretending not to care while absolutely caring. He made sure your glass was always full, that you had enough food, that you weren’t too cold. It was subtle, but every action screamed I love you louder than any cheesy Valentine’s card ever could.

Then, of course, came the small mishap.

You reached across the table to grab something, and your sleeve brushed a candle. Within seconds—

“Shit!” Bakugou was up in an instant, grabbing your wrist and patting out the tiny flame before it could do anything. His hands, warm and calloused, lingered just a second longer than necessary.

“You good?” he asked, his red eyes scanning yours, full of concern he wouldn’t dare voice.

You nodded, biting back a smile. “Guess dinner really was fire.”

He groaned. “I swear to god—” I can see the grey hair coming early

_________________________________

After dinner, you both ended up on the couch, watching a movie—not that either of you was paying much attention. Your head rested against his shoulder, his arm draped lazily around you, fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on your arm.

Then, without a word, he reached into his pocket and pulled something out, shoving it into your hands.

A small box.

You blinked. “What’s this?”

“Just open it, idiot.”

Inside was a delicate, simple bracelet. It wasn’t flashy, but it was you—elegant yet strong, the kind of thing you could wear every day. And on the inside, barely noticeable, was a tiny engraving.

Dumbass.

You laughed, eyes watering. “Did you… engrave an insult on my Valentine’s gift?”

His face was burning. “Tch. Just thought it’d remind you who you belong to.”

You turned to him, eyes soft. “Katsuki…”

His jaw clenched, like he was physically holding back the words he wanted to say. But then, finally, in a voice so quiet you almost missed it, he muttered—

“Yeah, yeah. You know I love you, right?”

You grinned, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “I know.”

His grip on you tightened. “Good. ’Cause I ain’t ever letting you forget it.” MY SHAYLASSS

Kirishima Eijirou

Kirishima went all out for Valentine’s Day.

None of that “lowkey” nonsense YEAH BAKUGOU—he wanted today to be special. For you.

Which was why you were currently blindfolded, his hands gently guiding you forward. “Almost there, babe,” he said, voice full of excitement.

You laughed. “Eiji, if I trip and die, I’m haunting you forever.”

“Not happening! I’d totally catch you before that!”

Finally, he stopped, hands resting on your shoulders. “Alright, ready?”

You nodded, and he removed the blindfold.

Your breath caught.

In front of you was a beautiful setup—soft blankets, pillows, and fairy lights twinkling under the night sky. A picnic spread was laid out, complete with your favorite foods. The best part? You were on a rooftop, away from the crowds, just the two of you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe!” Kirishima beamed. “I wanted to do something different.”

Your heart swelled. “Eiji, this is amazing! I’m overjoyed! You’re the best!”

_________________________________

As you two settled into the blanket fort, the stars above providing a soft glow, Kirishima could hardly keep his excitement in check. “Wait, I’ve got one more thing for you!”

He disappeared for a moment and then came back with a small, carefully wrapped box. His face was red as he handed it to you. “Open it,” he said, voice trembling a little.

You hesitated only a moment before ripping off the wrapping paper. Inside was a custom-made bracelet—a piece of raw, polished stone, shining under the dim light. It was rugged and strong, much like him, but also delicate in its own way.

“I thought you might like something that’s… you know, us,” he said, his voice rough but full of tenderness. “I wanted to give you something that represents how I feel about you.”

You held it up to the light, the stone glinting in the soft glow of the fairy lights. “Eiji… I love it.”

A grin spread across his face. “It’s not much, but it’s a promise.”

“A promise?” you asked, looking up at him curiously.

“Yeah. A promise that I’m always gonna be here for you, no matter what.” His voice was steady, but his eyes were full of sincerity.

You took his hand, gently pulling him into a soft kiss. “You’re everything to me, Eiji.”

He smiled, leaning his forehead against yours. “And you’re everything to me, babe. Let’s make this day one to remember.”

_________________________________

As the night deepened, you and Kirishima stayed on the rooftop, watching the stars slowly appear in the sky. The city around you buzzed with life, but up here, it was just the two of you, away from everything else. For a brief moment, it was like the world outside didn’t exist.

Kirishima had an arm around you as you leaned against his shoulder, listening to the sounds of the night. It was peaceful, comforting. His presence alone made everything feel right.

“I can’t believe you did all this,” you said quietly, tracing the silver necklace around your neck. “I’ve never had a Valentine’s Day like this before.”

He chuckled softly, his hand resting on the small of your back. “I don’t do things by halves. You’re worth it.”

You smiled up at him, your eyes full of love. “You’re more than enough, Eiji.”

There was a pause, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. It was like the world was holding its breath, waiting for something. And then, softly, Kirishima said, “I love you.”

You nodded, a gentle tear slipping from your eye. “I love you too, Eiji.”

The night stretched on, the two of you in your own little world, no need for words. You felt like you could stay there forever, wrapped in his warmth, knowing that no matter what, you would always have each other.

And with that, you both made a silent promise to keep this love strong, just like the stone that lay around your neck—the symbol of a bond that would never break.

Denki Kaminari

Denki had never been good with romantic holidays. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do something special for you—it was just that he had absolutely no idea how to pull it off.

He tried to plan the perfect Valentine’s Day, but everything kept going wrong. He bought chocolates… but they were melting. He got you a bouquet of flowers… but the store sold him the wilting ones.

It was a disaster.

He sat at his desk, surrounded by half-eaten chocolates and dead flowers, a full-on panic attack settling in. What if he messed this up? What if you didn’t like anything he did?

Before he could spiral too much, his phone buzzed.

“Denki, you okay? What’s going on?”

It was from you. You could tell he was freaking out, and that made his heart soften just a little. He hated that you could read him so easily, but also, it made him feel closer to you.

He quickly typed back, “I’m fine. Just trying to make today perfect for you, that’s all.”

A few minutes later, he received another text from you. “You’re already perfect to me. Don’t stress, okay? Let’s just have fun tonight.”

Denki stared at the message, his heart doing a little flip. How could you be so calm when he felt like he was about to short-circuit?

_________________________________

When you arrived at his apartment, you were greeted with an explosion of color—streamers, balloons, and lights everywhere. The room looked like it was in the middle of a party, and Denki, dressed in his most ridiculous, sparkly “Valentine’s Day” shirt, greeted you with the biggest, goofiest grin you’d ever seen.

“Ta-da!” he shouted, throwing his arms up dramatically.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Kaminari, what… is this?”

“I wanted to do something fun! A Valentine’s Day party for two!” he said, holding up two tiny glasses of… something that looked suspiciously like pink lemonade with glitter.

You took the glass, smirking. “You’ve been a busy guy, huh?”

“Only the best for my best girl!” he said, striking an exaggerated pose.

After a bit of awkward dancing, Denki tried to serenade you with a cheesy love song. It wasn’t the best rendition, and at one point, he forgot the lyrics and had to ad-lib, but it made you laugh so hard you nearly cried.

But there was something real in the way he looked at you, his eyes softening when he held out his hand for you to dance.

“Okay, maybe I’m not the best singer,” he admitted, pulling you close. “But I want you to know that I’m serious about us. I know I can be a bit of a mess, but I care about you so much.”

You smiled, letting him pull you into a slow dance, your bodies moving in sync as you rested your head against his chest. “You’re perfect, Denki. I love you.”

He froze for a moment, his heart stopping in shock. Then, with a goofy grin, he spun you around. “I love you, too!”

_________________________________

The night had settled into a comfortable rhythm. The arcade date, the neon-lit laughter, and the chaos of Denki’s very extra Valentine’s Day surprise had left your cheeks sore from smiling. Now, the two of you sat side by side on the floor of your apartment, a mess of candy wrappers, discarded game tickets, and plushies from the arcade scattered around you.

Denki stretched his arms over his head, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Man, I think I really outdid myself this year. I mean, come on, best Valentine’s Day ever, right?”

You raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Confident, are we?”

He grinned, wiggling his fingers playfully. “Babe, you literally have proof of my greatness. Look at all these prizes I won you.” He gestured at the pile of plushies he had proudly collected throughout the night. “That’s love in stuffed animal form.”

You laughed, picking up one of the plushies—a tiny Pikachu that he had fought to win from the claw machine. “I’ll admit, I was impressed by this one. But the real highlight of the night was watching you almost get kicked out for trying to ‘hack’ the basketball game with your Quirk.”

Denki pouted. “Hey, listen. That machine was rigged. I was just leveling the playing field.”

“Uh-huh. Tell that to the manager who threatened to ban you.”

He scoffed. “Joke’s on him—I’ll just wear sunglasses and come back in disguise.”

You shook your head, leaning against him. “You’re such an idiot.”

Denki’s arm snaked around your shoulders, pulling you closer. “Yeah, but I’m your idiot.”

You smiled, tilting your head up to look at him. “That’s true. And I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

For once, Denki didn’t have a joke ready. His usual cocky smirk softened, and he just stared at you for a long moment, his golden eyes warm and full of something deeper than his usual playful charm.

“You know, I’m not always the best with words,” he started, his voice quieter now. “I joke around a lot, and I know sometimes people think I don’t take things seriously. But I do take this seriously. Us.” We love a serious and romantic man

Your heart skipped a beat as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out something small—a delicate, silver ring, thin and simple, with a tiny lightning bolt engraved on the inside.

Your breath caught in your throat. “Kaminari…”

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking almost nervous for the first time that night. “It’s not, like, an engagement ring or anything—I mean, unless you want it to be someday, then heck yeah—but right now, it’s just a promise. A promise that no matter how stupid I act, no matter how many dumb jokes I make, I’m always gonna be here. For you.”

You stared at the ring, your heart swelling with so much love you thought it might burst. Slowly, you took it from his hands, slipping it onto your finger. It fit perfectly.

“You’re such a dork,” you whispered, your eyes glistening.

He grinned. “Yeah, but I’m a dork who loves you.”

You launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a deep, lingering kiss. He melted into you instantly, his hands coming up to cradle your face, his touch warm and electrifying all at once.

When you finally pulled away, you rested your forehead against his. “I love you too, Denki. More than words.”

He beamed, his cheeks flushed. “Well, that’s good. Because I plan on making every single Valentine’s Day better than the last. So, y’know. You’re stuck with me.”

You laced your fingers with his, glancing down at the small silver ring that now rested on your hand. “I think I can live with that.”

And as the night stretched on, filled with laughter, soft kisses, and the comfortable warmth of being wrapped in each other’s arms, you knew one thing for certain—Denki Kaminari would never stop lighting up your life, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sero Hanta

When you walked into his apartment, you were met with a comfy, casual setting—candles, soft music, and a cozy homemade dinner laid out on the coffee table which was burnt. There was no extravagant setup, just a simple moment between the two of you.

“Hey, babe,” Sero greeted you with his trademark grin, his arms opening wide. “You ready for a chill night?”

You raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Chill night? I don’t know… I was expecting a little more flair from you.”

Sero just shrugged, leaning against the back of the couch. “Hey, I didn’t want to overdo it. I figured we could just hang out, eat, and relax. You down for that?”

You smiled, immediately feeling comfortable. “Sounds perfect.”

_________________________________

After dinner, you sat together on the couch, enjoying the quiet. Sero was doing that thing where he would gently pull you closer, his hand resting on your thigh as he smiled lazily at you. He loved moments like this—easy, laid-back, where you could just enjoy each other’s company.

Then, he suddenly reached into his bag, pulling out a small box. “I got you something,” he said casually, handing it to you.

Inside the box was a delicate necklace, simple but beautiful. It was silver with a small heart-shaped charm that had your initials engraved on it.

“You know, I thought about getting you something big, flashy, like flowers or chocolates,” Sero began, a nervous smile tugging at his lips. “But I figured… I wanted to give you something you could keep with you. Something that would remind you of me.”

You felt a warmth in your chest. “Hanta… it’s perfect. I love it.”

His grin widened. “Good, ‘cause it’s a reminder that I’m always thinking about you.”

You leaned forward, giving him a soft kiss.

He teased, pulling you closer for another kiss.

_________________________________

The soft glow of the streetlights outside your window painted long shadows across the walls of your apartment. The warmth of Sero’s laughter still lingered in the air, wrapping around you like a comforting embrace. After the incredible night he had planned—you found yourselves curled up on the couch, tangled in each other’s arms under a thick, cozy blanket.

“You know,” you murmured, resting your head against his chest, “I think this might be my favorite Valentine’s Day ever.”

Sero chuckled, his fingers absentmindedly tracing small circles on your back. “Oh yeah? Even with the burnt cookies and the—what was it? Oh, right—highly questionable pasta?”

You playfully nudged him. “I don’t care about the food. I care about this—being with you.”

His teasing smirk softened, and he gently tipped your chin up so that your eyes met his. “Good. ‘Cause that’s all I wanted today to be about. Just us.” AWWWW

There was something unspoken in his gaze, something deeper than just his usual lighthearted charm. For all of Sero’s jokes and laid-back attitude, you knew how much he truly cared. He showed it in the small things—how he always made sure you laughed on bad days, how he remembered the little details about you that no one else did, how he made even the most ordinary moments feel like an adventure.

And right now, he was looking at you like you were his entire world.

You swallowed, your heart swelling. “You’re amazing, Hanta. You know that?”

A slow, lopsided grin spread across his face. “Oh, I definitely know that.”

You rolled your eyes. “Ugh, why do I even bother?”

“Because you love me,” he teased, shifting so that he was lying on top of you, pinning you under his weight. He grinned down at you, his dark eyes twinkling with mischief. “And admit it—you love my stupid jokes.”

You huffed dramatically, pretending to consider it. “Mmm… debatable.”

Sero gasped, clutching his chest as if you had stabbed him. “Wow. After everything I’ve done for you tonight? The rooftop movie? The candlelit disaster dinner? This is how you repay me?”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down closer. “Fine, fine. I love you, and I love your stupid jokes.”

His expression softened at the sincerity in your voice. He leaned down, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to your lips. “Good,” he murmured, his forehead resting against yours. “Because I love you too. And I plan on making every Valentine’s Day just as chaotic and ridiculous as this one.”

You grinned. “That’s a promise, right?”

“Cross my heart,” he whispered.

And as you lay there, wrapped in each other’s warmth, the world outside faded away. Nothing else mattered—not the burnt food, not the cheesy rom-coms, not even the chaos of the day.

All that mattered was that, for the rest of your lives, you’d always have each other.

And maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t mind being tangled in his love forever.

[ghost-askblog]

(Please read <3)

hey everyone! its been a bit hasn't it...

i've still been popping in here and there and i'm honestly so glad this whole hate train fiasco has finally come to a much needed close (for the most part) and watching all of these new ask blogs flourish since then has been so insanely heart warming for me. i'm so glad to see you all doing well!

during my break i've come to terms with just how much i really needed it and feeling the weight of everything off my shoulders whether it being the overwhelming feeling of obligation to get to everyone's asks and make everyone happy really got to me in the long run more than i'd like to admit. story of a people-pleaser's life, i suppose.

it makes me so happy and honestly fucking gobsmacked to this day to be reminded that this amazing community got revived by just a weird cod obsessed freshly turned 18 year old highschooler that simply wanted to have fun and make friends with people of a like interest. crazy how life works, innit?

during this period of taking time to myself and reflecting off of what really happened i've decided not to continue this blog for the sake of myself and my own mental health. in spite of this i'm still so insanely grateful of how much love and support i have been getting even during my hiatus and for that i love you all sooo so much <33

i'm not going to completely disappear, and i certainly won't stop using tumblr (for the foreseeable future, anyways.) and i highly encourage you to have fun and interact with many of the other ghost ask blogs that came to be during my break, or just any new blogs in general that decided to join this silly little community of like-minded individuals that just want to have fun role playing their favorite characters in the cod community.

if you'd still like to interact with me, then please feel more than welcome to do so. i won't be tagging my main outright but just know if you find it, it's there for you.

most importantly, i want to thank all of the original ask blogs that derived from mine, especially after my spike in popularity that honestly shocked me as well. damn near 1k followers in a span of 2 months is baffling already as it is, especially to someone like me that didn't have much of an internet presence as it is.

and with that said, hi! i'm francis, better known as fran, and i'm the young fella behind this blog! i recently turned 18 in october and i'm finishing my final year of high school. i love my friends so so so much and honestly i wouldn't even be nearly where i am if it wasn't for them. i'm currently involved in a dual-enrollment program to get my associates degree in criminal psychology and my favorite color is red! i am a huge video game and movie geek, having rewatched the entire marvel timeline more times than i can count, as well as having a love for indie and thriller/horror elemented story games. (fnaf, tlou, mouthwashing, resident evil, silent hill, just to name a few)

this has been so much fun, and i thank you all for staying with me this long. i'm eternally grateful❤️

—this was fran, signing off with a brand new video game in hand and a good long exhale of relief.

go follow these guys they're fucking awesome

@askthemactav @shadow-5-05 @shadow-2-08 @itsvargen @krueger-acc @brav0six @ask-private-141 @konigisking @justradiospirit @ask-corporaltwins-141 @verytiredmedic @callsign-king @shadow5-7 @captain-after-dark @lieutenant-banks @b1gm0n3yb1gg3rc4n3 @callsign-cups @alejandro-ask @el-perro-rabiosa @callsign-kits @price-askblog @keegan-askblog @generalshepherd-askblog @gaz-askblog @ask-alex-keller @valera-askblog @ask-roachsanderson @jeanzoriley-cod @ask-gaz @ask-soapmactavish @ask-phillip-graves @johnprice-asks @ask-philgraves @ask-lieutriley

oh, and to all of these rp blog tags? allow me the grace of being your 🧟‍♀️ anon (iykyk)

[akayralylegacy]

EMESIS BLUE IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I EVER WATCHED

Yeah, this is going to be some sort of analysis bc I am having a massive brainrot about this movie and I HAVE to share my thoughts of it somewhere, so I hope you enjoy reading this huge post ig lmao

Btw, if you're a person who doesn't like spoilers... SPOILERS WARNING IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET (and plan to do so)!!!

First, yeah, for those who didn't know I've been really into TF2 since last month, and being a very new fan, I started watching lots of SFMs and vids in a row to catch up with all the memes and lore, and well, I stumbled across EMESIS BLUE. And, it got me caught up with its plot/concept and the overall movie itself SO MUCH that I will never think of TF2 the same way-

No I mean, I know TF2 is more humoristic and stuff most of the time, the canon comics themselves have lots of funny moments of nonsense and weird situations, and not even counting the zillions of memes the community has created, those being pure gold. I love the comedic silliness from the comics and memes, plus the chaotic vibe from the game itself is just so fucking funny and stupid I always burst into laughter

But, TF2...with... horror? That's a combination I never thought I'd like so much. The whole concept of the respawn machine not working like it was supposed to, making them suffer from physical and/or mental problems after each respawn, creating an eternal loop of suffering, breaking the characters' sense of reality, torturing them by having to wait an eternity within some sort of limbo of "afterlife"...bro that's so...so disturbing yet so amazing at the same time. The fact the respawn machine caused Scout to develop brain atrophy, decreasing his IQ score and causing dementia and schizophrenia symptoms, while Medic developed some sort of split personality and schizophrenia as well, and you know that each time they return it will just get worse and worse, even them reckoning it later on. It's...just, it is simply horrifying.

The movie's atmosphere is so well made and constructed that I was tense from start to end, I felt like I was inside the movie, like I was witnessing all the carnage and agony of each one of the characters from up close. Like, there was practically no calm moment during those whole (almost) 2 hours of movie, but at the same time so many stuff happens very quickly, it also seems to go a bit slow but not in a bad way, and the details are shown here and there bit by bit. I like very detailed stories that construct the events based on its slow pace, revealing stuff on its right time, but on the other hand, being mixed with agitation, brutality and things happening in a flash. I hope you can understand what I'm saying? I hope I am being able to explain it well, but I think you get what I mean.

Cinematography wise, everything is stunning. The animation, the effects, the light and shadow, the colors and textures, sounds and background music, everything so well made, if you pay attention you can notice tiny details that make a lot of difference and make it even more agonizing yet thrilling to watch. I was so impressed with it just from the start. I mean, the animation>>>>

The quality being SO. GOOD considering it was animated purely on SFM??? THAT'S SO FUCKING IMPRESSIVE AND JAWDROPPING LIKE THAT'S SUCH A BANGER I COULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT.

Dialogue and quotes is something to be noted out as well. Many dialogues made such impact to the movie, some quotes making more sense later on as the movie progresses. I swear, that moment where Soldier is in a black n white room, with all those skeletons sitting around a table, and the sound at the background is a phone call from Jules to Blutarch, where Jules says: "We have about 800.000 corpses on the site," that line hit me SO HARD I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN. This is SO. FUCKING. DARK AND MORBID BRO I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK

Not only this one but lots of lines caught my attention and hit me so hard, like:

"You ever get the feeling like you're being watched?"

"Doc, I was at the second floor"

"Some get stuck inside trying to come through"

"You don't want to know..."

"It's eternity in there"

"Longer than you think..."

"Who was there to save me, Jules?"

"And I'm giving you exactly what you deserve"

"See you on the other side..."

ISTG THESE ARE SO??? LIKE, THEY HIT SO HARD AND I GOT CHILLS FROM SOME OF THOSE

Also, the voice acting, OOOH THE VOICE ACTING. Some people say it wasn't that good because many characters were voiced by Chad Payne himself, however I think it shows quite a talent from him to voice numerous characters tbh, even if he couldn't perfectly change the voice to fit all the characters 100% it doesn't mean his voice acting isn't good! I think he did an amazing job :]

And all the other voice actors as well, all of them are so amazing and I loved their acting so fucking much, but shoutout to Jazzyjoeyjr (voice of Soldier) and Cameron Nichols (voice of Scout) bc bro YOU DUDES DID A *PERFECT* JOB I SWEAR-

Talking abt moments of the movie that impacted me so much, I think it was Scout's death, and well uh, many Soldier moments tbh. Scout's death scene was agonizing to watch, I was in total despair hearing his screams at the background while Medic was trying to kill Maynard, I was almost having a crisis I was almost yelling of desperation I was like: COME ON MEDIC PLEASE GO SAVE HIM ISTG

It was SO. FUCKING. SAD. AND UNFAIR. I will never get over that moment.

Soldier's moments? Bro, he was the most sane out of everyone, which says a lot... and he was the ONLY one to indeed survive, without dying at any moment. He witnessed it all, the death of his best friend, Fritz shooting himself right in front of him, the pile of bodies, the truth being revealed....everything.

It even saddens me to imagine what could be passing through Soldier's mind after all those events, he seen gruesome and horrifying shit throughout the movie.

So, long-story short, EMESIS BLUE is a fucking MASTERPIECE that traumatized me for LIFE (in a good way), and I highly recommend you to watch it if you haven't yet, I am impressed with it and it doesn't get out of my head I am so fucking obsessed with it ISTG-

[ravioliage]

don't mind the jpeg compression pls but lip scar appreciation

I'll take a better quality pic later but the one on top and bottom look pretty uniform

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

[silverselfshippingchaos]

oh no. please no. no...

[kingcygnus]

so my sister has been on a bradley/max (still dk their ship name) hyperfixation and ive been on a sonadow hyperfixation since last year... 2024 rly was the fujoshi reawakening for her and my sonadow reawakening for me

[coloursofaparadox]

i finally got my adhd med dosage worked out and also for like the first time since upping the dosage actually managed to take it consistently long enough for it to actually kick in over the last few weeks and god damn. that shit is magic.

[misano17]

Saltburn has altered my fucking brain chemistry.

literally killing and screaming and going insane in my little box.

I need you to understand that I just watched it on a whim after a recommendation from a friend and I have not stopped thinking about it since it ended. LIKE HOLY FUCK. anyways spoilers under the cut, nsfw cuz Saltburn.

THE FUCKING NUTWATER SCENE KILLED ME. Like😭😭😭. Dawg was arching his damn back, slurping it, sucking it, and then bro swallowed. Like damn sir. Anyways something something blood of Christ allegory, Greek hero = god like figure, Theseus and the Minotaur, obsession and love both being allegories for cannibalism and Vice versa, period sex = consuming someone or something. I am going feral and insane. Anyways I need to open up every characters skull and examine the grey matter up there directly.

[catastrxblues]

good morning it is now 4 am and i have just finished watching atonement good night

[cat-eg]

rewatched itsv for the first time in years

[caruliaa]

also hi for anyone who cares omitb is sooo fucking good omg ?? like omg omg i watched it all in the last three days and its literally so incredible im so excited for the season 3 finale

[cadavercowboy]

watching nosferatu (2024) kiss scene isn’t enough i need to eat it

[seiwas]

i maxxed the tags (what did i expect) but!!

what a soft piece ari 🥺 thank you for sharing this hurt/comfort piece w us!! i think satoru will always be a figure of strength—but i think it’s in part because that’s how he brands himself to be around the people he cares about. he’ll never truly share how he thinks and feels about things, will almost always downplay it really. but he’s always worrying, always aware and cautious, overthinking 🥺 and i felt that loads here!!

there’s a shipwreck stuck between your ribs ; satoru gojo

synopsis; three times satoru sees you cry, and the understanding you gain of each other from it.

word count; 4.6k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, the synopsis speaks for itself i think, copious amounts of hurt/comfort, i just think he’d be so good at comforting u :ccc, also fluff!!, he’s addicted to calling u ”baby,” satoru gojo vs human emotion (he loses)

a/n; pls ignore the fact that 90% of my gojo fics are hurt/comfort ok we dont need to get into that <33 the writing in this one might be a lil rusty but im pretty fond of this gojo :’3

dim lights, buttery popcorn, and boredom.

the senses invading his mind are mellow, coaxing, a little tedious. all he can see are the buzzing lights before him, all he can hear is the insistent chewing of the people around him, and all he can feel is just that:

boredom.

satoru stifles a yawn, resting his cheek on the heel of his palm. he’s trying to pay attention — really, he is. trying to pay attention to the movie he picked out himself, after thoughtful consideration, one he’s been looking forward to watching with you all week. he’s trying his best. but, gosh, it’s just so boring.

or maybe he just doesn’t have it in him today — with all these too-dim lights, too-loud popcorn-chewers, and the too-convoluted plot playing on the big screen in front of him. he has no idea what’s happening, anymore, what scene this is supposed to be. some sob-story? he clocked out a while ago.

so, with nothing better to do — satoru decides to savour another view.

that’s how it always goes. no matter the movie, no matter the snacks, whether you’re watching at home on the couch or a nearby movie theatre — eventually, when his eyelids begin to grow heavy, or when his attention span begins to falter, that blue-soaked gaze of his shifts. a moth to a flame, following his instincts. constantly looking over to see what kind of face you're making. 

after all, your reactions are far more entertaining than any movie could ever hope to be. little sighs of exasperation, jolts and shivers down your spine, or a laughter so bubbly he can’t resist leaning in for a kiss or ten — he loves it. adores it. lives and dies by it. 

so satoru turns his head, and looks at you, knowing you’ll save him from the boredom clutching at his subconscious. 

and something in his chest constricts.

at first, he doesn’t notice it. hungrily lapping over the expanse of your jaw, to your cheekbones, his gaze drinking in everything he can see. scanning your eyes for a hint of emotion; and he finds it. he finds it in something that glimmers in the dim lighting of the theatre, something that has his breath drawing back to the depths of his throat.

tears.

crystalline, dew-drawn, a fresh set of tears clinging to the edge of your lash line. they’ve yet to fall, but satoru sees them — he sees them and he doesn’t know what to do. 

tears. 

tears?

you’re crying.

in the depths of your glassy eyes, he sees a fractured scene — playing against the scope of your iris, as the movie reflects off your pupils. there’s a turmoil there, a sadness, one that has you covering your mouth with the front of your knuckle. and you’re crying.

satoru wants to tease you. he wants to lean over and purr against the shell of your ear, poke fun at you for being so emotional. such a little baby. what else is he supposed to do?

the tricky part is that he can’t. he can’t move, can’t shape his voice into a purr, can’t even speak. he’s frozen in place like a bug trapped in amber, stuck to his seat, unable to do anything but blink at you in what he thinks might be bewilderment.

his breath hitches — and that’s all. 

something about the sight of you makes him falter, makes him stop in his tracks. catches him off guard. he doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t recognize the feeling stirred deep within his chest, something discomforting and foreign. doesn’t understand why his heart feels so itchy, all of a sudden.

then your eyes meet.

and you blink. once, then twice. eyes just a little wide, an embarrassed kind of surprise. he thinks you must be flustered, and he’s proven right when your gaze flees from his.

a mingle of words clog up at the base of his throat. say something, say something, say something. but he doesn’t know what. 

he wets his lips, preparing to part them, but before he can get the first syllable out you're leaning in. close. close enough that he feels your breath ghost against the shell of his ear, close enough that his heart starts skipping the way it always does when you press yourself against him like that’s where you belong.

a whisper. it’s small, hushed, a little frail. but there’s something else, too, laced together with the vowels — amusement. 

”you didn’t tell me this was a sad movie.”

a pout plays at your lips, as you murmur your grievances. but then there’s that amusement; it’s there when you pull back, in the crinkle of your sparkling eyes, the curve of your smile. 

and satoru’s shoulders relax. stiffened bones melting. he exhales a breath he had no idea he was holding, and his heart feels at ease. a grin finds it’s way to his lips, wide, teasing, cheshire and sweet. 

he leans a little closer, bumping his head against yours. gently. ”i think you’re just sensitive, baby.”

his teasing is rewarded with a little huff, as your elbow meets his side. soft. everything you do is soft. 

”oh, shut up,” you scoff. smiling. he’s so relieved that you’re smiling. 

a moth to a flame, following his instincts, satoru brings you closer. an arm around your waist, pulling you into his orbit, until you’re practically sharing seats. searching for your hand — and he finds it, intertwining his long fingers with yours, just to give it a little squeeze.

(for some reason, he feels more protective than usual.)

he feels your gaze. questioning, maybe. but you melt into him quickly, with your head slumped against his shoulder, and his heart settles back into a sleepy rhythm. just watching the movie pass you by.

the dim lighting of the theatre casts a hazy shadow over your face, a tender desaturation, and his eyes stay glued to it when you aren’t looking. the smell of popcorn hangs heavy in the air, salty and buttery, warm and sweet, and he’s almost grateful to feel that familiar boredom tug at his veins.

anything is fine. anything is better than that discomfort, that irritating itch. 

satoru watches the movie flicker by, scene by scene, whispering commentary into your ear and stealing your popcorn with a satisfied hum. chuckling when you whisper-shout at him to cut it out!

he tries not to think of the glittering tears at your lash line, and almost succeeds.

rain clouds, cups of chamomile, and frustration.

it seeps out into the open air, engulfing your living room in a feverish haze. thick and suffocating; the scent of heavy rain, lukewarm tea, and that ugly, ugly feeling underneath his skin.

it pulses. it itches. and oh, how it aches.

satoru hates it. he hates feeling angry, feeling upset — hates when either of those emotions are in connection to you. hates it, hates it, hates it more than anything.

he does everything he possibly can to avoid it; his eyes are keen, always have been, and he can see when that thin line he shouldn’t cross crawls a little too close for comfort. when the rubber band of your patience just snaps. he sees all your buttons, knows which ones not to push. he knows you.

and, more importantly, more than anything — nothing you do could ever make him angry at you. 

(well, at least that’s what he thought.) 

satoru’s anger is a fickle thing, controlled, kept under wraps. it’s a slow process; it simmers, boils, a cup of chamomile brewed too long. and then it all but invades his senses. it never gets the best of him, never, but right now he can feel it — little pinpricks against his skin, a frustration that stirs his guts and has his eyes going cold.

satoru towers over you, like this. full height on display. not slouching or draping himself over furniture, but standing tall, and proud, and menacing. he isn’t smiling, and that’s all you need to know that he’s upset with you. his eyes are layered over with discontentment. 

a sigh spills from his lips, a little gruff, unmistakably annoyed. it slices the silence of the room in half, and a shiver travels down your spine. he doesn’t notice it. his voice has a rough edge to it, something firm. something that doesn’t sound like it could come out of his mouth at all.

”don’t act like such a child.”

a flinch. or maybe more like a jolt; this time, he notices, but it’s too late. he’s in too deep, boiled water licking at his ankles, pulling him down. frustration nips at his skin, and he can’t quite seem to push it away.

and you’re just so, so unaccustomed to it. unaccustomed to seeing him wear anything but a smile, unaccustomed to that cold gaze, usually nothing but warm and fond when it meets your own. this isn’t like him.

it’s not like him at all.

swallowing thickly, you do your best to calm down. but before you can make any attempt to contain it, wetness begins to gather in the corners of your eyes. pooling, little droplets yearning to fall.

satoru notices them instantly. he sees that sad glimmer, framed by the murky darkness seeping in from beyond the curtains, accompanied by the symphony of pitter patter against the windowpane. tears, much like the rain beating down outside.

and his chest goes cold.

a tiny sniffle pushes past your lips, and the dam inside you begins to break — tears tripping over your lash line, rolling down your cheeks. cascading across your pretty face. the air fills with a sense of dread, and both of you seem to be thinking the exact same thing.

(oh, fuck.)

satoru notices, belatedly, that his throat has gone dry. that his heart feels itchy, again. it itches and itches but he can’t do anything to soothe it, and your tears continue to fall. 

his heart begins to crack. right down the middle, like a gash in the reflection of a puddle, right across his chest. it hurts.

an inhale, then an exhale. you’re still trying to keep it all together, grasping for control over your emotions, but it’s not going too well. the little breaths that escape your throat are shaky at best, hands trembling as you wipe the tears away with the front of your wrists. and your voice sounds a little like it’s about to crumble away. 

”sorry,” you squeak, taking a step back. there’s a silent panic in the gesture, one that makes satoru want to get down on his knees. ”i’ll just — i’ll leave —”

he wants to stop you. he needs to stop you. but he does nothing, nothing at all, even as you stumble out. leaving the haunting echo of tiny sniffles and tear-stained cheeks behind you. 

satoru just stands there. once again, the sight of your tears seems to render him completely helpless. useless.

and he's frustrated, honestly. frustrated by the argument, by your tears, by his own guilt. he’s so frustrated he wants to claw his eyes out. he scratches at his forearm, but it does no good. all he can think of is your frightened little expression.

(he scared you.)

satoru slumps down on the couch, head in his hands, running rough fingers through his soft hair. it’s unruly by the time he’s done, and his bottom lip is bruised with teeth marks, and everything in the world feels so meaningless. so out of tune.

(he made you cry.)

a sigh. drawn out, tinged with exhaustion, bitter and battered like the swing of a baseball bat. he feels a little like he could throw up. it’s foreign, this emotion, suffocating. how long has it been since he genuinely felt this kind of shame?

the crack in his heart grows deeper, while you’re gone. more severe. every moment you spend outside of his vision makes him falter more and more, makes his desperation grow. desperate to plead for your forgiveness, to convince you not to leave. to wipe the tears away from your cheeks, delicately, the way you deserve. but he can do nothing but sit there, useless, repeating the same old phrase inside his mind.

he’ll make it up to you.

and when you finally come back, having calmed down a bit, he does just that. you’re embarrassed, he can tell, a little meek. it makes him feel that discomforting emotion, again, that ache. the crack that only ever seems to deepen.

but he covers it all up with a smile. a little sheepish, more than a little forced, but he hopes you understand. hopes you can see his remorse, see a man who loves you, because he does. 

so satoru takes you into his arms, softly, hands finding the small of your back. delicate, protective. a little whisper spilling from his lips. 

”’m sorry, baby. i didn’t mean it.”

and it’s not enough. he knows it isn’t. but he does what he can — even when it just ends up clumsy, teasing, bordering on something that most would interpret as insincere. all he can do is coddle you. shower you in hugs and kisses, gifts and praises. he hands it out like candy, eager hands finding yours, everything spilling out of his chest all at once. 

there’s a desperation to it that isn’t lost on you.

but it works. he’ll make it up to you; he swears. and he dotes on you until you’re too embarrassed to be sad anymore, apologizes until his throat runs dry. until he’s sure you believe him. 

he brews you another cup of chamomile, stirred to perfection, warm enough to make up for the shiver he sent down your spine. the rain beating down on your windows serves as a constant reminder of his failure, and satoru does his best to ignore it. swallowing what’s left of his frustration, focusing on you.

anything to see you smile again. anything to wash away the red tint to your eyes, the puffy skin beneath them. anything to hear you laugh, to get you to feel safe around him again. 

(anything to make him forget the sight of those tears rolling down your cheeks.)

panic, panic, panic.

it’s all he can feel, all he can think, the only emotion his muddled mind can cling to. he’s in pure, sincere, genuine panic, and you aren’t saying a thing. can’t bring yourself to.

arms wrapped around his waist, tightly, you hide away in the crook of his neck. clutching the fabric of his shirt, burrowing your face deeper into his warmth — and you’re not just crying.

you’re downright sobbing.

satoru knew something was off the moment you fell into his embrace, suddenly, tackling him into a hug so desperate it left him reeling. a kind of desperation he isn’t used to, from you.

he knew something was wrong. 

he knew even before he heard it; your choking sobs, those shaky, heaving breaths. muffled into the cotton of his shirt, his uncertain arms around you.

they break his heart.

”hey, hey…” there’s a soothing lilt to his voice, awfully delicate. sweet like molten honey, almost enough to hide the panic. ”what’s wrong?”

satoru holds you to his chest, safe and secure, cradling you protectively. as if shielding you from the world — from whatever or whoever got you like this. as if you’d crumble into dust, otherwise.

he tries to calm down, but his mind is spinning like a broken clock, and your silence doesn’t help. you’re trying to respond; he knows you are, but you just can’t get the words out. any attempts only make you cry harder.

a shake of your head is all he gets — and it’s not much, but satoru’s learned to make a lot out of a little. 

so he continues to hold you, hiding his worry, tucking his anxiety away somewhere you won’t be able to see. he curses, inwardly, grasping blindly for conclusions — for some divine guidance. how is he supposed to deal with this?

(how long has it been since he felt so very useless?)

gentle. that’s the approach he takes, finally, hiding his nervosity. he rocks you back and forth, just a little, like he’s lulling you to sleep; his warm hands finding the small of your back, the back of your head. cradling you so close you hear his rapid heartbeat by your ear.

soothing whispers. murmured into your hair, so soft they seem to melt once they slip from his tongue, all honey and devotion. affection so palpable you taste it in the air, from the breaths he exhales. 

”it’s fine. i’m here, i’m here… i’ve got you.”

he doesn’t know what he’s doing, not really, but it seems to work. because you calm down, after a while, just sniffling into his neck and letting him soothe you. sobs and unstable heaves, turning into whimpers and shaky breaths. clinging to him all the while; so desperate for comfort, for him.

it makes him feel so, so desperate to protect you, to wash every single one of your worries away.

it’s unbearable, this aching desire. like a great, insatiable, unnamed something deep within the caverns of his chest, clawing at his ribcage, snarling and hissing, itching to break out so it can open its maw and devour you both.

(it’s ugly. it’s grotesque. it wants to keep you safe so badly it might kill him for it.)

a coo. sad, dripping with care, a comforting tone that he hopes you’ll find soothing. he smooths his palm down the back of your head, heavy, doting. it hurts so much to see you hurt.

”my baby….” satoru exhales, a little shaky. but he smiles, and he hopes you can hear it, hopes it’ll help mend the pain in your chest. ”what’s got you this upset, hm? you're worrying me, here…”

a broken sniffle. the guilt eats at you, gnaws at your bones, and all you can do is hide away in the crook of his neck. apologizing, your voice no more than a tremor of a breath.

”’m sorry…”

and satoru thinks his heart shatters. he can practically hear the crash, feel the broken, useless little pieces dig into his skin.

his arms travel down to your hips, steady, and he lifts you up. just for a second, just so he can plop down on the floor with you in tow — keeping you snuggled into his neck. seated on his lap with your legs around his waist, like you’re his baby koala.

”shh, it's okay,” he soothes, a grounding rumble of his chest right by your ear. he’s got you enveloped, wrapped up in his buzzing warmth, and all you can feel is him. ”you’re okay. no matter what it is, i'll take care of it, alright? you can rely on me.”

a moment passes. 

satoru clears his throat. nervous, suddenly. ”you know that, right?”

all you can give him is a shaky nod, but it’s enough. he sighs, in palpable relief, still rubbing circles into your back. ”okay,” he sneaks a hand underneath your shirt, tracing little shapes into your bare skin. ”good.”

he isn’t sure how long you spend there, on the floor, entirely focused on comforting you. washing away all your sadness, with every gentle caress, every soothing murmur of there, there… every little stutter of his heartbeat next to yours.

and when you’ve finally calmed down, melting under his touch and into his skin, arms going lax around his neck — satoru takes a breath. collecting himself, so you don’t have to. acting like his heart isn’t still a mess of crushed glass.

”you okay now?” he coos, drawing absentminded hearts into the skin of your back. his voice is teasing, but warm, spilling from his tongue and into your ear. deep and smooth. ”almost gave me a heart attack, baby.”

he feels the way your grip around him tightens, just a smidge, and he hears the weak little breath you draw in. your voice is still shaky, and it makes him want to rearrange the world, stitch those broken vowels back together. 

(he doesn’t like how irrational it is, this insatiable something. how it makes him want to bend the rules of the universe, just to see you smile. a dangerous temptation.)

”i’m sorry,” you croak, clinging to him like a shipwreck to a shore. ”it’s not — not a big deal, ’m just…” 

satoru pulls back. just a little bit, making sure your arms and legs stay in their rightful place, curled around his neck and waist. making sure the two of you stay connected.

then he pinches your cheek.

”don’t apologize,” he quips, a playful frown on his face. soft, a vague furrow of his brows. like he’s scolding you. 

it makes you wince, your eyes downcast. you look so meek. a little like a kicked puppy, glassy eyes glancing up at him in search of comfort.

satoru clicks his tongue. ”and don’t look at me like that, either.” 

he boops your nose, playful, doting, and you exhale weakly. it’s small, more breath than a real laugh, but you’re almost smiling, and —

it’s a start. it’s something.

satoru coos, voice dripping with warmth, sickeningly sweet. it seeps from his fingertips when he cradles your cheek in his palm, rubbing circles into the puffy skin beneath your eyes. there’s a mirth in his own, crinkled at the edges, tucked into that blue shade, something glazed over with pure adoration.

”there’s that smile.” 

he leans forward, closer, to press a kiss against the bridge of your nose, eyelashes fluttering. tickling your skin. you fall further into his embrace and he makes no move to resist, wouldn’t do it even if he physically could. even if he had the strength to let you go.

then he broaches the subject. hesitant. tactful, careful, delicate — he tries to remember how it works. how to handle something fragile. he thinks of those boxes you carried last week, little porcelain cups. heavy in his arms. he thinks of the way you jab his side with your elbow; gentle, always gentle, even though there’s never any need.

he thinks of you, and it all comes easy. that’s how it always goes.

”wanna talk about it?” he asks, softly. fingers treading through your hair, scratching softly at your scalp. it makes you melt, a little. clearing your throat.

”it’s nothing, really,” you mumble, tiny, seeking respite in the warmth that seeps from his body. speaking with a raspy voice, a hoarse throat, all tired out after crying. ”nothing big, anyway…” 

a moment passes, before you continue. ”i guess it's just been a rough week,” you admit, a sigh slipping from your lips, tinged with pure exhaustion. ”just little things piling up. ’m okay now.” 

a hum. satoru clears his throat.

”anything i can do?”

(please let me help.)

but you only shake your head. ”you’ve already done enough,” you assure him, leaning into his touch. ”think i just needed to get it all out, y’know?”

a beat. an itch. satoru holds you tight, a little tighter than he should. gentle, he reminds himself. but he needs you close enough to feel the flutter of your heartbeat, close enough to delude himself that you’ve merged together. closer isn’t close enough.

he gnaws at his bottom lip, teeth sinking into the flesh. pulling words out from the back of his throat, uncertain. ”i’m always here,” he settles on. ”if there’s anything you need, come straight to me. okay?”

a frown plays at your lips. you’re silent, for a while, until he hears you mumble beneath your breath.

”i don’t want to bother you so much, though…”

”— it’s not a bother.”

the words spill into the air, a little more firm than he meant to sound. but he means them.

”i’m serious. if you ever need help, with anything, come find me. i’m yours,” satoru inhales, deep, his chest moving in tune with the breath. you’re carried along with it, as if being lulled to sleep, following the steady pattern of his lungs. 

then he exhales. in, and out, and with it comes a promise. ”if anyone makes you cry, i’ll get rid of them.”

he says it casually, so casually that you assume it’s a joke, a bout of breathless giggles pushing past your lips. the sound has his own curling up, and he doesn’t have the heart to correct you. has enough tact to know that this might not be the best moment to let you know that he’s honestly a little terrified of how far he’d be willing to go to keep you safe and happy. 

but you’re smiling, finally, laughing. and that matters more than anything. when he closes his eyes, he thinks he can even feel the telltale signs that his heart is picking itself back up, gluing jagged shards into a shape that resembles you.

"that's scary!” you gasp, amusement bubbling up inside your throat. ”you’d go to jail for me?”

satoru huffs. ”bold of you to assume i’d get caught,” he tuts, a smug smile on his face. it makes you giggle, again, and he feels like a god.

”okay, okay,”  you nose at his neck, breathing him in, strawberry lotion and laundry detergent filling your senses. ”please don’t kill anyone on my behalf, though.”

”no promises.”

”satoru…”

slowly, steadily, his heart begins to stitch itself together. it helps that you’re there, he thinks. helps that you’re pressed up against him, that you’re holding him, like he’s the safest thing in the world. like you trust him.

(the word tastes like molten honey and luscious berries, sickly-sweet on his tongue. he gulps it down hungrily.)

it’s healing. the weight of your arms around him, the breaths that brush against his neck. he holds you to keep you together, intact, to keep himself together. a shipwreck and a shore — he just isn’t sure which one of you is which. but your jagged edges fit just right with his own.

”i don’t like seeing you cry.”

you blink. gazing up at him, with a contemplative look in your eyes. it melts into something a little too close to guilt for his liking. shame.

”— but i still want you to let me see you like that.” satoru smiles, with a tilt of his head. snowy tufts of hair falling across his face. ”is that weird?”

a moment passes. then you hum.

”no,” you exhale, a little breathless. smiling, somewhat weak, but still enough to have his heart skipping a beat. ”i love that about you, satoru.”

”huh?” he gapes at you — blinking dumbly. ”love what? that i want to see you sob into my chest?”

”that you try,” you stifle a yawn, sleepily nuzzling into him, all tuckered out from crying. ”even when it makes you a little uncomfortable.”

satoru stills. 

silence fills the space between you. there’s nothing more to say. his tongue isn’t really cooperating with him, anyhow — all tied up. so he leaves a kiss on the top of your head, and doesn’t say a word about the tremor running through his chest. 

he hates seeing you cry. hates how powerless it makes him feel, how useless. hates the fact that he can’t always protect you from the world, from himself.

but you let him see you like that.

he thinks of your tears, crystalline and glassy, like translucent marbles on a summer shore — and sees the trust instead of the sorrow. he thinks of your tearstained face, meek and feeble, and knows it’ll always be enough to break his heart to pieces. 

he thinks of you, and tells himself that it’s worth it; just as long as he gets to bring that pretty little smile back to life. 

[bonestrouslingbones]

i'm locking in

[derrypubliclibrary]

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