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jihoonjuseyo · 2 days ago

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Perverted jihoon hacking readers computer so he can see what she is doing in her room just to see her jerking off to him.... Then might end it with him fucking her in her bedsheets the very same night

~💩

a/n: this isn’t something i usually write ;u; i really tried to make him a pervert but i have a hard time writing real people with these kinds of character traits. i hope you understand ♡

cw: smut, toys, spying, dubcon if you squint, computer hacking to watch reader masturbate, oh yeah masturbation, lmk if i missed anything

requests open!

when you told jihoon that you’ve been told that you make noises when you sleep, he half-believed it to start. he wasn’t a stranger to having his ear pressed to the wall that separates your bedrooms. he recognized quickly that those weren’t just measly noises from sleep, no soft hums from your slumber - no, those were *moans* he was hearing.

it woke an obsession within him, standing next to the wall for minutes after you’ve gone to bed, hoping and praying that he’d hear the soft buzz he’d learn to listen for, his hand already moving down to his waistband.

it woke an obsession within him, standing next to the wall for minutes after he knows you’ve gone to bed, hoping and praying that he’d hear the soft buzz he’d learn to listen for, his hand already moving down to his waistband. he’d seen the vibrator once. on accident, as he was so innocently helping you organize your drawers one day while you were gone. he certainly didn’t smear his own cum on it just to see it before washing it off, oh no.

jihoon’s obsession continued to grow as he patiently waited for your soft moans in the night, his mind filling with increasingly more debaucherous thoughts of you. one night, as he stood with his ear pressed against the wall, he heard the familiar buzz he was waiting for, the soft gasp of your initial tease to your core.

a thrill ran through his body as he pressed even closer to the wall, his excitement growing as he listened to the soft moans coming from the other side.

he pictured you in your room, those little shorts you wore (the ones he saw riding up your ass countless times throughout the afternoon), pulled to the side with your fingers teasing your entrance. he loved the idea of that purple toy shoved inside of you, your walls encasing it so tightly. but your fingers, god he pictured them everywhere on his body-

he closed his eyes as he stroked his cock, a shaky breath coming out as jihoon pictured himself in front of the bed, eyes level with your cunt as you teased yourself.

that’s when his brain went a different direction, and he physically felt his length harden at the idea. your computer, so perfectly situated in the front of your bed. jihoon knew that computer had the best spot in the world, it made him envious.

jihoon's mind continued to spin as he listened to your soft moans through the wall. as the room on the other side of the wall fell silent, he quietly stepped away from the wall, his mind still filled with thoughts of you. it was like a magnet pulling him back to the wall, but he resisted.

he walked over to his own desk, his hands shaky as he turned on his computer. he knew that he had to see the view that your computer was enjoying. it was so unfair, the way he knows your legs are spread out for the computer to see.

sitting down at his desk, jihoon quickly launched the hacking program he had been developing for the past few months. with a few commands, he was in your system, giving him access to your webcam and the contents on it.

he navigated to your webcam and clicked to open the live feed, his heart racing in anticipation. he'd been fantasizing about this moment for weeks, hoping he would be able to get a glimpse of your most intimate moments before you fall asleep.

as the camera launched, jihoon’s breath hitched as your bedroom came into view. there you were, laid out on your bed, wearing those same shorts that had been driving him crazy all day.

only, those shorts were pulled to your ankles,

“jihoon-“ your voice hitched, making jihoon’s hand, that had been pumping his cock so slickly, stuttered, his hips jerking slightly. he felt his face flush, his instincts kicking in almost immediately. he had to grip the chair as he considered, barging in on a private moment or making her fantasies a reality?

jihoon's mind raced as he watched you on the other end of the camera, his body reacting to every little sound you made. he knew that spying on you was wrong, but he couldn't help himself now. he wanted you so badly that he could taste it.

his mind was swirling with all the ways he wanted to taste you, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as his eyes focused on the way you were writhing on the bed. He couldn't believe the situation he found himself in, watching you so intimately without you even knowing.

“fuck it,” he hissed, pushing himself out of the chair and standing up, pushing his cock back into his pants for the moment.

jihoon's heart was pounding in his chest as he quickly got up and left his bedroom, his mind racing with thoughts of what he was about to do. he approached your door, his hand shaking slightly as he reached out to turn the knob.

jihoon hesitated for a moment before turning the doorknob and slowly opening the door, his breath caught in his throat as he stepped inside. the room was dimly lit by the light from the desk, the computer screen casting an eerie glow on your body as you lay in bed.

his eyes drank in the sight of you, laid out before him like a gift. he closed the door behind him, the soft click of the latch sounding like a gunshot in his ears.

unfortunately for him, you’d heard it too. you shot up with a gasp, hands coming out while simultaneously trying to cover your lower half with your legs. “d-don’t you know h-h-ho-aaa..!” jihoon felt himself get chocked up, knowing that you were attempting to hide the fact that a vibrator was lodged tightly in your pussy.

jihoon's eyes widened as he took in the sight of you, his gaze going straight to where your hands were trying to hide the vibrator. His heart raced in his chest as he tried to form a coherent thought.

he took a step forward, his mind going back to the sight on the camera. he hadn't been able to see that in the dimly lit room, nor had he been prepared for the way it would feel to see it in person.

“I-I…” he tried to speak, but the words got caught in his throat as his body responded to the view in front of him. he took another step forward, bringing him within a few feet of the bed.

jihoon's eyes roamed over your body, taking in every part of you. the sight of your chest heaving with each labored breath was almost too much for him, the urge to touch you growing stronger with each moment.

“I don’t-“ he started, his voice low and rough. he took another step forward, bringing him right next to the bed. he knelt down on the edge, his hands shaking slightly as he reached out to touch you. you jerked back slightly, your breath heavy as you watched jihoon intensely, confused but curious.

his eyes, ever so dark and focused, stared at the exposed part of your leg before trailing his hand up your thigh, pushing the blanket up as well as you almost fought him. “hey-“ you began, but he shushed you, not even having the respect to look at you before he tossed the blanket over your hip, wasting no time in prying your legs open and half-leaping onto the bed to ensure a place between your legs. “fuck- fuck-“ he didn’t know where to look first, your thighs were spread out and held by his strong arms, encasing your thighs between his forearms and biceps.

yet, his mesmerized eyes didn’t even flinch as you barely thrashed, more confused on the situation. “jihoon, wha— ah—.?!” you hissed when you felt the vibrator push further into your core, glancing down at him in shock. his lips were pressed to the flat end, applying pressure to the toy as it penetrated and rotated inside of you.

you pulled yourself to your knees, expression one of bliss and shock. his eyes shifted from your clit, up towards your face. “are you going to behave?” he asked.

you found no fight within you, feeling your legs give up as well. jihoon felt them relax as he set them on his shoulders. his hand moving to grasp the toy. his mouth found freedom, yet immediately hitched up to attack your clit, his tongue flattening it with his saliva aiding your juices in soaking you. with gentle movements, you felt the pull and stretch of the toy in a way you never have before, stomach feeling twitchy as a new type of pleasure settled within you.

“does that feel good?” jihoon asked, clicking the button on the vibrator to speed it up and watch you curl just slightly from the suddenness.

“so good,” you whimpered, both hands coming down to thread through his hair. “so fucking— oh, god,” you purred, hips lifting just slightly to give a slow grind to his lips when he delivered a particularly sweet suckle to your numb.

“i have a lot to make up for,” jihoon said mostly to himself, his free hand coming to smear the spit all over your clit in a messy fashion.

you didn’t question the statement, too focused on the way your eyes practically rolled back. whatever he meant, you prayed it meant that you wouldn’t be leaving the bed any time soon.

#lee jihoon #woozi #seventeen #jihoon #svt #woozi smut #sebong #smut #woozi fluff #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #jihoon smut #hoshi smut #soonyoung smut

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lgbtyrus · 9 hours ago

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Andi Mack Reunion Live Stream Mini Recap:

-Tyrus is still endgame and had the most perfect wedding ever

-Ambi is canon

-Kippen siblings is canon

-Luke did the rap apology that TJ sang to Buffy and still knew 95% of it

-They said there was basically an entire episode that got deleted where Bex went on a date with someone and Andi was NOT okay with it.

-They all said they'd return for a reunion- Asher the first to say yes.

-They watched a Lemon Boy edit together and Asher said it was a "beautiful edit" and Trent said it was made by a genius and he teared up

-Emily said "Amber loves lesbians"

-The cast sang the theme song acapella 🥺❣️

-Asher had originally said "no" to playing Jonah because he wouldn't play frisbee and they auditioned many more guys until they were like "fuck it let's teach him frisbee"

-Emily had auditioned for Andi but since they had locked in on giving Peyton the role of Andi, they wrote in Amber for Emily specifically 😭 It was because her agent called the producers to say, "We know she messed up the audition, but she'd really like to try again." And after this, Terri knew they had to write in Amber for her.

-They also wrote Iris for Molly

-Terri Minski said Luke's hair was a character in itself. They had told Terri that Luke was an Evangelist Christian, so she took Luke and his parents to lunch to talk about it because she was stressed out because TJ was going to be gay. She had told Luke and his parents what was happening and they cried, and she was so nervous, and they told her that they were so honored. Luke said he thought he was going to get fired because he only shot one episode and didn't understand why he was being taken to lunch.

-The guy whose audition video played before Trent's got the part for 20 seconds before Terri saw Trent's audition

-Terri said Lilan wore the weirdest audition outfit ever, and it was her good luck outfit.

-Terri called them "lighting in a bottle" because she's not sure she'll ever get someone as special as this cast together again

-Tyrus was NOT supposed to be canon, but they shot the scenes anyways. They had said, "We gave you one gay character, we're not going to give you TWO." But they fought hard for it, and they found allies that allowed it to happen.

-Disney is still saying that they are looking for the "new Andi Mack" and Terri is adamant that they already have it, and she would love more than anything to bring the cast back together again for a spin off

-Terri had wanted Andi to repeat the cycle LMAO. AKA, teen pregnancy. Disney said, "NO WAY!"

Here is a pic of the stream before Josh and Trent had to leave! Terri left after a few more questions, too.

DJ Fruity Live Performance

-Younger fans would see Emily and scream "Amber alert!" and run

-Luke uses an Andi Mack journal as his personal diary

-Bi Bex Canon. Lilan said something along the lines of: Did you not see the clothes she'd wear? Of course she's bi.

-They played a behind the scenes clip of the Tyrus bench scene. I screen recorded, but THERE IS LAG. I'm sure there is a better video out there, but here is this for now.

-Luke and Josh wrote an episode of Andi Mack where a blackout happens in Shadyside and nobody can use their phone. Everyone is forced to go outside. But they were too scared to pitch it so nothing ever came of it. They also wrote an outline for an Andi Mack movie.

It was an extremely long live stream, and they were entertaining and funny the entire time. They were able to raise $20k for the families affected by the LA fires, and you can still donate here if you'd like it's live for another week as of now, 1/26/25. I missed them and the Andi Mack magic so much. I hope they do this again in the future.

#shoosh star #andi mack #literally my heart is so so full

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wormtoxin · 7 hours ago

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"And one specific iteration of this is that during the 60s and 70s, among certain feminist thinkers, the idea arose that before Judaism brought monotheism to the world, the patriarchy didn't exist. This is absolute historical hogwash."

"And it's only within this framework, this conspiratorial antisemitic framework, that the idea that the Jews are lying about a figure from Jewish folklore, for whom that folklore is the only source, makes any sense at all, and it's only within this framework that Gentiles taking that figure, divorcing her completely from her folkloric roots, and then worshiping her as a goddess, would even be appealing."

I found this to be really disingenuous, and went and read some of those original texts. During the 60s and 70s, these "certain feminist thinkers" were, themselves, Jewish.

I found, in no particular order:

Lilly Rivlin's 1972 article "Lilith" for Ms. magazine.

The Jewish feminist magazine Lilith, founded in the fall of 1976

jewish feminist theologian Judith Plaskow's "The Coming of Lilith", a feminist "contemporary midrash" published in 2005.

American poet and professor Enid Dame's poems titled "Lilith", "Lilith's New Career" and "Lilith and Her Demons"

Rabbi Lynn Gottlieb's theatre piece, "About Lilith", discussed here in an interview with Judy Waxman from Veteran Feminists of America in 2022. I really like this quote about the piece's use in her community work, so I'm going to post it in its entirety:

"I created a theatre piece called, About Lilith. It’s a very funny piece, and I performed it thousands of times. And in this piece, Lilith, as the old story goes, as we learn from Judith Plaskow in particular, Lilith refuses to be on the bottom. And rather than put up with her domineering mate Adam, who wants her to be on the bottom, she flies off. And I had a lot of fun with this story, and I used to create workshops. What would happen if Lilith met Eve?

I did that hundreds of times, and I tried to create a safe space for women to explore issues of agency. Because issues of domestic violence and sexual abuse on the preventative side can happen if women feel more agency. That’s one aspect. Especially young girls, if they have the language to feel like they can resist and they know how to keep themselves safe.

Another component is the question, “What resources does the community have that can assist women?” So, in Albuquerque, where I was a rabbi for 25 years, I’m still rabbi emeritus there – Albuquerque, New Mexico, where I founded my own community. That’s something else I learned from feminism. It’s a lot harder to reform…it’s almost impossible to reform, actually. I realized I needed always to start with a clean slate, and I could build an infrastructure from the foundation that was equitable. That was really the only way for me, and I believe for many people, to not spend years banging your head against the wall, but rather just from the beginning to create that space."

Jacqueline Lapidus' poem "Eden", which "imagines a lesbian encounter between Lilith and Eve. Using the Lilith legend, Lapidus invents an origin story for love between women."

"Scholar and author Ohad Ezrachi frequently writes about Lilith as a split-off sexual component of women, an image created by men fearful of a full relationship. He encourages men and women to see Lilith and Eve as the same person."

Rabbi Jill Hammer's article for myjewishlearning.org's "Women & Feminism" section, titled "Lilith: Lady Flying in Darkness". This is the article I've been quoting above. I like this article's final few lines, which I'll quote here:

"While some disapprove of this widespread embrace of a former demon, Lilith’s rehabilitation makes sense. The frightening character of Lilith grew, in part, out of repression: repression of sexuality, repression of the free impulse in women, repression of the question “what if I left it all behind?” As modern Jews begin to ask questions about sex, freedom, and choice more directly, Lilith becomes a complex representation of our own desires."

Both of the articles I read (which I'll link to below) acknowledge Lilith's place in contemporary folk Judaism as a demon, with references to the practices sometimes employed to keep her away. This confirms the second paragraph written in the post above.

To respond to specific parts I disagreed with:

Gentile feminists are not responsible for the so-called "feminist reclamation" of Lilith. Being actively Jewish themselves, these authors, poets, and academics, theologians, and rabbi probably did not, in fact, give rise to the idea that "before Judaism brought monotheism to the world, the patriarchy didn't exist."

I agree with you on the whole that it is disingenuous and antisemitic to claim that "jews are lying" about the figure lilith, or in most any context. I also think it's academical disingenuous to claim that "Jewish folklore is the only source" for Lilith. The article and encyclopedia I discuss above and link below show that, outside of folklore, Lilith is also interpreted and conceptualized through the lenses of Jewish feminism, Jewish poetry, Jewish theology, Jewish history, and Jewish literature.

Works Cited:

“Lilith is part of a closed religious practice” except it’s not appropriation to worship her as that is not practice what is within the closed practices of judaism :) Lilith is not an exclusive figure! Lilith is open

So according to your logic, it's okay to worship Lilith because she isn't worshiped in Judaism so therefore worshiping her isn't cultural appropriation. So if I a completely non-Native American/First Nations person were to start worshiping the W*ndigo, that would be completely fine, and not at all cultural appropriation, and not deeply fucked up, because W*ndigos are not worshiped in any of the cultures that have them as part of their cosmology and traditions. And I'm sure that the people from the various cultual groups that originated the W*ndigo, who tell me that doing that would be deeply deeply fucked up, and culturally appropriative, are just wrong and harshing my squee.

Don't incorperate Lilith into your practice if you aren't Jewish, and worshiping the demons from other cultures is no less culturally appropriative because they aren't worshiped in their home cultures. Hope that clarifies things! :)

#sorry to be a bitch about it #but this kind of sloppy historical revisionism realllyyyyy grinds my gears.#please understand this isn't a confrontation towards op or their position on the crux of this argument #but tumblr(like most social media) is uniquely vulnerable to this kind of misinformation #and its a matter of principle for me #i won't abide it #AND #i like research!!!!#so i hope this post helped you learn something #no TL;DR you have to actually read the whole post and then open the articles and read the information therein #if you got this far thanks for your time

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hwnglx · 3 days ago

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dating enhypen hyung line pro's & con's

based on tarot. i don't know these idols personally. energies are always changing. everything i state is for entertainment purposes only, alleged and NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

heeseung

pro's

will make you the brightest star of his life -> i can just see his life circling around pleasing you

your existence will just matter to you a lot

he's an extremely perfectionistic guy so he'll rarely feel satisfied and therefore put consistent effort into making sure he's being the best boyfriend he can be for you

he literally wouldn't live up to his own expectations towards himself and disappoint himself if he found himself being unfaithful or doing you wrong

wants to make his partners feel secure when they're with him, like he's their comfort person and safe space

sees his lovers as someone he can learn from -> wants to grow, improve and transform into his best self through dating his partners, as well as also become a source of support and help for them himself

almost like bonding through their wounds, perhaps even sharing similar past experiences so they can offer a sense of mending and healing to each other

i really don't see much of an ego here, in fact he's almost too overly modest and humble

heeseung is the type of boyfriend will dim his own light if it means you will shine, honestly

i thought of a line from stray kids' song “i am you” where changbin says “i can become darkness if it means you will become brighter” (fun fact they're both virgo venus')

has a very calming and soothing type of energy and presence in his romantic relationships

i just keep seeing him sit there with his soft gaze strictly focused on his partner's eyes all the time, gently stroking their hand and quietly humming “mhm”s while attentively listening to them talk and take in every word

very interested and curious in getting to know his partners in a detailed and thorough manner

will probably remember most things about you too, even the more trivial and simple things like.. the perfume you wore on the day you met, just things you probably wouldn't expect for him to remember

con's

his perfectionism, unrealistic standards and amplified romanticism can easily set himself up for disappointment, not only towards himself but also in regards to his lovers and his relationships

he tends to have this idealized view of love and approach his romantic connections with such high expectations that things not living up to that (which often is inevitable since relationships can't be perfect all the time) can quickly dishearten him

i also see him being contradictory in a way where he does want to grow and learn through the connection but at the same time, he can struggle with criticism and negativity

might not want to hear out your advice at times because to heeseung, it can feel like you rubbing his mistakes into his face, which he doesn't enjoy and can get afraid of

he's just really worried about messing things up

can get obsessive and overly invested in the relationship

i just see him being this lover who can suffocate his partners to a degree because he's so eager to make sure they're content and please them all the time

he reminds me of this guy i dated who had similar placements and he kept being so immensely alert and attentive to all my needs that it just felt.. overly smothering at some point (i know some people might like this though, depends on your character)

no lie, heeseung's and jungkook's energies are strikingly similar in a few ways. the idealization of romance, overthinking, immensely high standards causing quicker disappointment, issues with handling criticism due to their perfectionistic tendencies. they could relate on some levels.

heeseung seems like a good guy; i truly see his energy as one of the best in enhypen. though this could be subjective. his intentions read as pure, and coming from a selfless place.

jay

pro's

has this pleasant energy to him where being with jay feels very comfortable, cozy, warm and relaxing

a boyfriend who loves spending the more quiet and intimate times together with his partner

will love displaying this source of calm and rest for them

i see him really enjoying to cuddle under the sheets, in front of the fireplace, with lit candles, wine, soothing music, softly holding you in his arm

a very sensual and indulgent lover too, he just loves making his partners feel good in every sense of the word and wants to heighten their enjoyment

physical touch & quality time are his likely love languages

quite good at figuring out your personal boundaries and remaining respectful and mindful of not crossing them

he's the type to hold himself back in the beginning stages and stay polite but once he's got a good understanding of how deep he can push your buttons, he'll love to initiate some playful debates and arguments

dating jay can feel like you're dating your best friend

he brings a lot of happiness and laughter into the lives of his significant others

a lot of playful bickering and fun times

i just saw this scene of him strolling through the furniture store with his lover and them fighting over which colour plates they should buy for their new house lmao

another insight i constantly get for him without fail; this man genuinely loves the idea of marriage

though i don't see him being ready for it at all at this point in time, jay does enjoy the thought of a more traditional relationship and domestic life

extremely protective over his lover and their relationship

will always defend you and your name fiercely

or e.g. protectively get you to walk on the other side of him, if there's a busy road next to you

quite territorial too, jay wants his lovers to himself and is ready to fight and glare off anyone trying to access them

just heard “nothing's gonna hurt you baby, as long as you'll be with me, you'll be just fine” (song by cas)

con's

mainly focused on himself; including his own dreams, desires and wishes, especially in terms of his career, his work and his money -> i don't see him having much room for anyone else right now

might feel like letting another person into his life in a more serious and committed manner could cause an unwanted interference rather than an enrichment

i truly don't see him enjoying the thought of compromosing or being restricted by anyone right now

tbh, the energy is pretty selfish, and more surface-level here.. i currently don't see jay getting into relationships for true love, but moreso for what they can do for him

and also for what the relationship looks like; on the outside, as well as on paper

very practically minded in that sense, i am not getting an actual emotional attachment to his partners for him

definitely has his workaholic tendencies; might put himself and his career above the relationship with his significant others if he doesn't see the two aligning well

i also see jay easily getting caught up in materialism and putting too much value on superficial things like money, possessions, status, etc.

he can get a little stingy if he feels unappreciated, or the connection is too onesided (like he's constantly the one buying the gifts, preparing everything and his partner doesn't bother to do their part)

immensely stubborn and “my way or the highway”

can be quite rigid and inflexible, as well as reluctant to give in, or adapt and adjust himself to anyone

tbh, the energy was interestingly different compared to what i got from him before. though obviously, people and their preferences, habits, etc. change all the time through various experiences. which is the case especially for enhypen, since they're so young and still in the midst of maturing and developing. this non-committal “i'll do whatever i want” energy strikes me as more of a stage or phase for jay as of right now. might change within a few months, who knows.

jake

pro's

immensely flirty, romantic and charming boyfriend

naturally brings a lot of butterflies and excitement into the lives of his partners in that way

i just see him being a hugely smooth talker, making his partners blush by flattering them all the time

almost in this love-bombing way, where some people might (playfully) tell him to shut up at some point while blushing embarrassedly and he'd love that sight

comes alive in romance; loves everything it entails

being in a harmonious relationship is something he desires a lot, so there's this grateful and proud feeling of “you're literally making my dreams come true”

would maybe even tell you you're his dream

emphasis on him being immensely sweet and loving with his words, there's definitely a poetic side to him too

will not only find his home in you, but become your home (offer you a sense of warmth, familiarity and belonging)

very calming and soothing listener

everytime i read for him, spirit tells me there's something about his voice and the way he looks at you, that just has the potential to calm you down immensely

jake is someone who can go through a lot of inner turmoil himself, so he can often find himself wanting to comfort the people he's close to, especially his lovers

a lover who's very.. “don't keep it all in, talk to me, i will listen, and i will try my best to help”

he just genuinely wants to make you feel cared about

also very witty and funny though, i see him provoking and poking his lovers a lot just to get a reaction out of them

a lot of sarcasm mixed into his teasing and humor in a way that just riles you up; jake will love seeing you annoyed and find it very amusing

i do see him trying to make it up to his partners too though, like giving them a kiss and apologizing (he's a very playful push and pull type of boyfriend)

con's

likely to not be very reliable, he can often be more talk than action, and not always stick to what he preaches

can be very moody, unpredictable and overly sensitive

does want a relationship that goes deeper (i can sense jake literally craving it since he can feel empty very often) but can opt to run away as soon as he feels like it does, especially because the intimacy can scare him off

vulnerability can make him uncomfortable -> to jake, it can feel like someone has insight into his true soul and sees him for everything that he is, including the flaws and blemishes he himself deems as unlovable

easily sees his wounds, pain and insecurities as something people would judge him for, which is why he rarely allows people in that closely

just.. really desires validation, a stroke of his ego and admiration and can quickly be under the impression that his more “raw” self isn't worthy of that

i heard the lana del rey song “will you still love me, when i'm no longer young and beautiful? will you still love me, when i got nothing but my aching soul?” (again.. wow, i remember getting it for my ideal type reading too)

i see jake's insecurities and unstable self-esteem making him a person who feels offended and hurt more quickly, which can lead to him becoming sharp, offensive and cutting with his words as a defence mechanism

i heard “hurt people hurt people”

can easily feel mistrustful which can lead to forceful and controlling behavior -> can experience issues allowing you your freedom out of fear of you moving on

jake kept giving me this feeling of “i want to find a person who can make me feel like i'm at home” i just kept hearing the word “home” continuously.

random note, i also thought of australia and his mother a lot, she comes up in almost every reading for him

for the pro's, the knight of cups fell out together with the four of wands, and the way it fell gave me the image of jake (knight of cups -> scorpio sun) seeking for this feeling of belonging and arriving home (four of wands) like he finally found the person who gives him the warmth he's searching for.

two of the following cards were the star and the nine of cups which gave me.. “thank you for making my hopes and wishes become reality, thank you for staying with me.” the reading was quite moving, tbh. i didn't expect that.

apparently, he is a scorpio stellium with an aries moon in the eight house, so.. phew. yeah. makes sense. jake is a bunch of intensity and emotions wrapped into one human, literally. he feels and senses everything three times as deeply as others.

his sun does fall into his fourth house too though, which explains how closely he ties himself to his family, and the meaning of home. he really craves a safe space.

sunghoon

pro's

trustworthy, committed and loyal boyfriend (probably number one in enhypen right now) -> he just won't find much interest in other people once he's with his lover

sunghoon is picky anyway, so once he's with someone, he firmly stands behind his decision and won't be the type to just allow his impulses to ruin anything

an insight i get again and again; he likes the idea of a connection that blossoms slowly but substantially

isn't the type to rush or jump from lover to lover but moreso approaches his relationships in a mindful manner

will spend a good amount of time getting to know you thoroughly, i see him studying people quite carefully

if he decides to date you, it's because he sees you as the person for him -> not the type to put on a show or play deceitful games with his partners, he's a serious lover

puts genuine effort into making sure the relationship is based on a stable foundation of trust (very important factor for him!) and mutual feelings

meaning, he'll make sure you know you can trust him but also find ways to truly figure out whether he can trust you

the type of boyfriend who wants to grow together with his partner, go through various different cycles together and continuously deepen the connection as time goes on

i do see sunghoon believing in fate and destiny, he can be quite intuitive in that sense

i heard “tell me all your secrets” and “tell me something you've never told anyone else”

sunghoon will want to be the one special person who's allowed to know you in and out, better than anyone else

wants to enjoy this subconscious, profound and unique connection with you in that way, like no one understands you the way he does and vice versa

i especially see him wanting to be the one to know about e.g. your struggles, you might not tell everyone about

like he's your person, the one you'd trust with your life

keeps the relationship very private

i just see being in a relationship with sunghoon as this experience where, being with him can feel like you're the only two people on the world; it's very intimate

he will quite literally be tunnel-visioned on you whenever you're together and naturally make you focus on him too

though i do see him enjoying experiencing different things together with his lover, this silent but powerful connection and communication is likely to still be present, even when you're amongst a crowd

like this.. one moment of eye contact between the two of you, can already tell the other person what they're thinking and feeling, type of dynamic

con's

can have the habit of naturally holding himself back a lot and therefore store a lot of his worries inside

this man can overthink and overanalyze much more than you'd think, but many of his partners might not even figure that out since he's very good at disguising it

i keep feeling so chilly inside while reading for sunghoon, it's almost like.. once he gets to this place of overwhelming and inner stress, he often turns cold

tends to rationalize his more “negative” emotions since they can get confusing and too much for him otherwise

but he also doesn't enjoy confronting his lovers with them at all, out of fear of causing disharmony, or laying himself bare in this vulnerable or “weak” state

genuinely doesn't want to burden people, especially his significant others, with his own inner conflicts but can also have issues processing and finding healthy outlets

so he's likely to, either distract himself by focusing on his own desires and endeavors away from his significant others (like his career and work), or generally withdraw and isolate himself from them in order to somehow cope

i also see him potentially struggling to empathize and understand other people's standpoints at times

sunghoon does tend to look back at himself and reflect on his own behavior a lot, so he can get caught up in this feeling of “no but i did everything right, everything is fine, i don't understand why you'd be this way”

it's this frustration of sincerely wanting to understand you, but just not always being able to, which can result in him turning distant, stiff and detached emotionally

i also see some potential judgemental and overly picky tendencies in terms of superficial things, like appearance

maknae line coming very soon! stay tuned <3

#kpop tarot #enhypen tarot #change of plans #you're getting two separate posts #since it'd have been too long otherwise #maknae line coming in a few days!

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cybrasigilism · 2 days ago

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All Mine (Player 333/Lee Myung-gi X Reader Drabble)

warning: smut | not proofread | lowercase intended | possession kink | this is my interpretation of this character, please be respectful even if my opinion on the character differs from your own

character: lee myung-gi (player 333)

A/N: been straight up desiring to write for this diva again, i got inspiration for this little drabble after listening to “ALL MINE” by brent faiyaz, hence the fic name. enjoy to all my fellow myung-gi fans!

MDNI! 18+ content beneath the cut, readers discretion is advised

if anyone is into possessive, jealous sex, it’s myung-gi without a shadow of a doubt.

you’ve seen jealous before. you’ve been in your fair share of relationships with guys who felt as though they needed to stake a claim on you if someone even so much as looked in your direction, but with myung-gi it was on a different level entirely. when you first met, you didn’t clock him as the kind of guy who would be into that sort of thing. when all is said and done though, if he feels like he has to prove that your his— you will not be walking right for the next few days.

⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°

you can’t deny that it totally turned you on; the way he would become totally thankless with you. pushing you up against the wall, leaving marks and hickeys all up and down your neck, whispering in your ear how you’re his— you were certain you couldn’t get enough of him like this. he was so rough, yet so gentle at the same time. it was as though he was taking out his frustration and envy out onto you while still reminding you how much he loved you. you really couldn’t say you minded how tenacious he became when eating you out during these fits of jealousy, working wonders with that tongue of his as if in an attempt to raise the bar to an unreachable point for all other men. trust he will take moments in between to dish out possessive comments, only because he knows it gets you going that much more.

“no one else can eat you this good, isn’t that right?”

“fuck, this is all for me right? nobody else’ll ever get to know how good you taste”

you better believe he becomes totally controlling when you guys fuck, too. he’ll demand that you tell him who you ‘belong’ to as he thrusts in and out of your pussy. even through tears, he won’t cease until you’re screaming his name.

“do i need to remind you who this pussy belongs to?” “a-ah! fuck! it’s yours— oh shit, it’s all y-ours!”

he may seem much rougher than usual while he’s fucking you in this jealous rage, but it’s completely out of love. he just despises the idea of a guy thinking he could take you from him so easily, that’s all.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

thanks for putting up with my brief self indulgent post! i apologize if it’s ooc, i just got the idea and wanted to share it inbetween working through requests!

as always, any advice/constructive criticism on how to improve my art is appreciated and requested! have a spectacular day/night lovelies!

tags: @gongyoosgf @strangelife122 @agornotsworld @kvstjwonnie @marymustdie @luvlyfandoms @putrescentpoet

#squid game 2 #squid game #squid game smut #fanfiction #squid game x reader #x reader smut #x reader fanfiction #player 333 #lee myung gi #imagines #Spotify

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themeaningthemeaningthe · 1 day ago

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can’t sleep for other reasons and my brain can’t stop thinking about a post i saw and initially ignored but keep having thoughts about. i didn’t comment on it or anything and now it’s lost to the ether and i don’t wanna go looking for it but these thoughts gotta go somewhere.

this will be long and rambling and probably a little incoherent cuz it’s 3am.

the post was someone saying that they finally picked up gideon the ninth after years of seeing locked tomb posts and griddlehark, then dropped it after like 2 chapters bcuz they think the dynamic between gideon and harrow is abusive (which is fair when u first start it) and they can’t believe people are into it as enemies to lovers. on the one hand, people are totally cool to just not like something for whatever reason, i myself just have thoughts about the Nuance that i didn’t express on the post that i now must here.

lots of important spoilers for GtN!! (and maybe accidentally ones to HtN)

ok here’s the rant.

that’s the point!!!!! that’s the point.

they are terrible to each other and they have always been. the growth and the development of their character dynamics together explores how this thing between them that has always been sharp and seething and spiky must buckle under the weight of outside pressure beyond anything they could have imagined.

in a very important pool scene (one that is ubiquitous in fanart and i have to believe this poster saw at least a few times) we get an explanation from harrow! and not only does this give us a more full look into the context of drearbruh outside of gideons narrow point of view, but it also makes more clear why they were like That.

i’m sorry but literally harrow is 200 dead kids that her parents killed to make her, and gideon is the one kid they couldn’t kill. and gideon realizes once told this, she is the living reminder of the war crime committed to save the house, and no one who knows can forget it.

and harrow has known the truth of her origin since she was old enough to comprehend anything!! so yeah, a traumatized child who knows she’s the entirety of a generation of her house is gonna lash out at literally the only other child on the planet who she happens to also have power over.

and i feel like the book makes this pretty clear!! this was bad!! but also, these are two traumatized kids growing up in a dying, creepy, planet that is lowkey hell.

the other key thing about the pool scene, is that it is a Confession. these books are sooo steeped in catholicism. harrow isn’t just explaining the true history of her life, she is Confessing all of the sins that make her up and all of the sins she has committed. bearing the entirety of the wretchedness of her soul for gideon judge. expecting her only friend whom she has made miserable for years to kill her.

and i know we joke about gideon being lesbian jesus, but there’s a reason for that (besides the obvious). bcuz after hearing her Confession, gideon baptized harrow in that pool.

one flesh one end, bitch.

and also like yeah griddlehark is an enemies to lovers in some ways, but i feel like also not in the typical way you would think about that trope?? bcuz correct me if im wrong but they never really become lovers (and i personally am not sure they ever will). yes they love each other and make the grandest gestures of love imaginable. but that love is inevitably fucked up in some ways and it’s impossible for it to not be.

god that was way too long. anyway. some Nuance is necessary.

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon nav #my tlt #hell why am i writing long tlt rambles at 3am i need to sleep #i confess part of the reason i wrote all this #is bcuz the judgmental and disgusted tone about something they didn’t read bothered me

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darkbluekies · 2 days ago

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Your thoughts on finger rings for yourself and your characters?

How many do they wear? Do they mix metals? Maximalist or minimalist or just anything.

I'm gonna say sorry cause I know this is a weird question to ask but I am obsessed with rings and wanna know what some of my fav characters wear on a daily?

Also, do Silas and Edmund ever take off their wedding rings?

I haven't thought about this, but now that you say it there is ONE thing i really think is that Silas would wear rings, BUT for one reason: as knuckle-iron(?). He can't walk around with one just like that, so using rings would be a good alternative. It'd hurt while punching someone. But he would take them off when he's with darling. He feels like a silver guy. He doesn't take of his wedding ring unless he's fighting, because he doesn't want that ring to get "tainted".

Dr Kry? No. Only his golden wedding ring. Only takes it off when working, and puts it in his chest pocket to keep it close to his heart.

Edmund? Yes. The more the merrier. He's a king, he loves luxury/showing off and is violent. Rings meet all his expectations. Only gold rings with big stones. His wedding ring stays on at all times, even when he's beating someone up.

Jerry? 50/50. She would use a knuckle-iron, would keep one or two in her pockets, so she wouldn't need rings for that, but she would probably have a few rings just because she thinks theyre pretty. She's a silver girl.

Hedwig? Gold & Silver. She likes to mix them, doesn't care if people thinks it looks tacky. She has a few rings, but they're small, thin and dainty, not overpowering. When she gets married, she will never ever take of her ring. Ever.

#yandere ocs #yandere mafia #yandere female #yandere rich girl #yandere doctor #yandere king

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inlovewithpandora · 3 days ago

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ੈ✩‧₊˚ — Summers In Pandora ᝰ Day 31 - Body Worship/Praising

Artists — Ao’nung x fem!Metkayina!reader

Lyrics — Tonight Ao’nung wants nothing more than to dive between your pretty thighs but after a long day of duties you’re exhausted. His desire for you burns so hot that he offers to do all the work so you can be his pretty pillow princess.

Music Advisory — SMUT [ mature audiences only!], fluff, established relationship [mates], needy!Ao’nung, [implied] pleasure dom!Ao’nung, soft!Ao’nung, oral sex + fingering [fem receiving], double stimulation, face fucking, hair pulling, aftercare, allusions to male masturbation, lots of compliments and praise ᝰ this fic does contain aged!up character smut so if you don’t like that type of content please don’t interact and continue scrolling!!

Duration — 2.7k words

Index — Tsakarem - Tsahìk-in-training・Sayrìp - Handsome・ Syulang - Flower・Yawne - Love

Words from Artist — This was my first time writing smut for Ao’nung and it was really fun! This idea was originally supposed to be for Kinkmas 2023 but I never finished it so I decided to put a spin on it and make it fit this prompt. As always feel free to comment and reblog, I love reading y’all reactions! I hope you enjoy!!

Current Platforms — event m.list・main m.list・event taglist ・prompt list

Today there was a cold wind blowing throughout the village and it was causing a draft in your home. When the cold breeze kept gliding across your skin you could feel yourself shivering so you decided to start a fire and gather around it so it would warm up yourself and your home. When you start the fire you can immediately feel the heat emitting from it and it's already eliminating the cold air that's constantly flowing inside.

Ao’nung is next to you during the whole process and he watches you in awe, loving how you always take charge and make things happen. You've always been the type of woman to get things done no matter what it requires, you never wait around for a man to assist you and that’s one of the main reasons Ao’nung wanted you as a mate, he absolutely loves that quality about you so by watching you in your element he can’t help but feel a little turned on.

After a while both you find yourselves laying down a few inches away from the fire, your head laying on his chest and arm wrapped around his torso while his hand is resting on your thigh. The night is going perfectly just like you wanted, after the long day you’ve had all you want is to lay with your mate until you drift off to sleep. You can feel your eyes growing heavy so you allow them to close, happily letting sleep take over your body but that plan is interrupted when you feel Ao’nung’s hand travel from your thigh to your ass, squeezing it gently before rubbing it in a circular motion. You already know what he's implying by his actions, you know your mate very well. When he starts rubbing against the flesh of your ass, moving your hair out the way to place soft kisses on your neck, and teasing his fingers around the strings that are holding your loincloth together you know he wants sex.

When you feel his other hand inching toward your bra top you grab his wrist and stop him. “Not right now, baby. I’m tired and I just want to sleep.” From completing your numerous duties around the clan and also having to do your Tsakarem training with Ronal which took several hours, drained all the energy you had stored for the day. If this was a normal day and you had a good amount of energy you would of course engage in the marital act with Ao’nung but tonight you’re just too worn out. “Just let me take a nap and then I’ll do whatever you want, okay?”

Everything you just said basically went in one ear and out the other. Ao’nung doesn’t want to wait, he wants you now. He wants the sweet taste of your arousal on his tongue now, he wants to hear your sweet moans now, he wants to feel your hands gripping his hair as he devoured your heat now, he can’t wait until you wake up from your nap. “I’ll do all the work, all I want is you to lay back and look pretty for me. How does that sound syulang?” Ao’nung practically worships the ground you walk on, whether it’s publicly or privately, he always lets you know how grateful he is to have you, how beautiful you are, and how sexy your body is.

To him this is you’re world and he’s just lucky enough to live in it. Ao’nung is willing to do whatever it takes to see you squirm underneath his touch, he doesn’t want you to feel like you need to please him because by allowing him to pleasure you is enough for him, he could cum from simply knowing he’s satisfied you to the best of his abilities.

When you hear Ao’nung’s offer all you can do is let out a little laugh, you can tell he really wants to dive between your thighs. His eagerness is definitely turning you on, knowing that your mate is craving you without even having to do anything sexual is starting to make a pool of slick form between your legs. At first you were going to brush him off but now his horniness is rubbing off on you so you decide to cave and allow him to have his way with you. “That sounds perfect, sayrìp.”

The words barely have time to settle in Ao’nung’s mind before he pulls you in for a lustful kiss, swirling his tongue around your mouth while gripping your chin, moving his hand down and wrapping it gently around your neck. When Ao’nung can’t contain himself any longer he moves his hands down your body, using his mighty strength to rip off both articles of your clothing, revealing your round perky breasts and the mound of your sweet pussy.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that? Your body is so perfect, made just for me.” Ao’nung whispers as his eyes scan your body in awe, wondering how Eywa found him such a gorgeous and perfect mate. He feels like your body is carved and sculpted just for him, just for his hands to touch, for his eyes to see, and for his body to be pressed against. It isn’t long before his head is between your thighs, the sweet smell of your arousal making him feel like a man possessed as he runs his tongue over your slit, spreading you open in a swift manner before lapping up your juices so the sweetness of your arousal can dance on his tongue. His tongue finds its way to your clit, sucking on your precious pearl which makes you squirm within seconds.

Ao’nung continues swirling his tongue around your clit, giving it a deep kiss while it throbs against his palate, making a breathy moan from you fill the air. It’s a continuous process: flick, lick, suck, all the motions that’ll bring you great pleasure which is exactly what your mate wants. You can feel him spreading your juices on your inner thighs and his saliva running down your folds, making the flat of his tongue caress every pleasure point. After a while he comes up for air, wanting to savor your delicious taste and amazing scent. “Eywa, woman you taste good.” Ao’nung groans, his chest heaving as he catches his breath which makes you giggle because you’re ultimately doing the same before he continues feasting on you.

Once his lungs feel replenished he lowers his head between your thighs again, causing your breath to hitch in your throat at the unexpected feeling of his tongue swirling around the entrance of your pussy. After teasing you for a few moments, enjoying the desperate whines from you filling his ears while making it seem like he would place his tongue inside but only circling around the outer edge, he finally gives you what you want, intruding your hole and pushing his tongue inside.

“Oh, fuck,” You can feel your legs instinctively spread to make more your room for Ao’nung’s head that’s now moving in multiple directions, and your hips thrust upward wanting to feel him as much as possible. Your hands make their way to the top of his head, tangling your fingers in his curly hair as you grind against his face, practically suffocating your poor mate but he’s so drunk off your pussy he doesn’t give a damn.

With each stroke of his tongue he can feel you opening more and more for him, your warm slick leaking out and sliding down his tongue while the access drips down his chin and travels down his neck. Seeing how you’re reacting to him, tightening your grip in his hair, rutting against his face like an animal, and how you’re so eager to cum all over his face makes him want to ram his cock inside you until your eyes are puffy with tears, seeing your arousal stick to his pelvis as he thrusts inside you until he’s filled you to the brim with his warm seed.

The lewd thoughts he’s conjured up in his mind makes him moan into your heat, pressing his tongue further into you as he uses his hand to gently rub circles against your clit for added stimulation and double pleasure. Every small spasm and tiny twitch that ripples through you, Ao’nung call feel. Any movement you make, any warning tremor your body makes that you’re about to cum he reads loud and clear, wanting to make sure when you cum, you cum hard.

“Mmm! Don’t fucking stop!” And with that the Metkayinan goes into overdrive, his mouth, tongue, and fingers begin to work tirelessly, switching between slurping up every single drop of your sweet juices and swirling around your clit, smothering himself by stuffing his nose into your mound to reach the depths of you and fill his nostrils with your intoxicating aroma. Right now he doesn’t even care about his aching jaw, throbbing cock, or lack of oxygen, all he wants to do is please the woman he’s been blessed with.

Ao’nung slips two of his fingers into your wetness with ease and curls them just right, causing his fingertips to press against your sweet spot. His thick fingers stretch you out beautifully, and that paired with his controlled strokes, powerful sucks and long licks of his mouth, he coaxes you over the edge, bringing forth an ecstasy that only he can give your body. A sharp gasp leaves your lips, your grasp tightening the strands of his hair as your thighs snap close around his head, not allowing him any movement other than continuing to devour your heat.

Your orgasm almost takes you out, it makes you shake, your muscles spasm and twitch uncontrollably as your back arches off the mat underneath you and soon it turns into complete bliss. His fingers continue their relentless pace of pumping in and out of you, lengthening your orgasm while he gently kisses and sucks on your clit until your body slowly goes limp from the incredible pleasure he’s inflicting on you.

Ao’nung’s hand wraps around your thigh, gently tapping your supple skin, silently telling you to untangle yourself from him which you do in an instant, unwrapping your legs from around his shoulders and allowing him to sit up properly. When your eyes look up at him he’s glistening in your slick. His chin, lips, and nose are covered in your juices, making your cheeks heat up from the sight. When your eyes trail down his body you notice the outline of his hardened cock straining against the woven material of his loincloth, making your mouth water at how enlarged it looks and the blots of pre-cum you can see soaking through.

You blink up at Ao'nung, still feeling the warm tingles of aftershocks in your body as he starts to clean you with careful, practiced strokes. The damp cloth is soothing against your oversensitive skin, his touch so light it feels like a whisper. His soft hums of approval and the quiet murmurs of praise in your native tongue send shivers down your spine. "You are perfection, syulang," he murmurs, his deep voice like a soothing balm. "You have given me all I need tonight. Just seeing you like this... it is enough."

Your hairless brows knit together, lips parting as you glance down at the evidence of his own arousal, still taut against the fabric of his loincloth. The woven material struggles to contain him and his cock is practically growing in size by the minute. Your mate is anything but sated, and you know it. “But Ao’nung,” you protest while propping yourself up by your forearms, your voice slightly hoarse as you try to speak. “you haven’t—”

Ao’nung’s hand pauses, the damp cloth resting on your thigh as he takes a moment to study your face and the expression it holds. The slight flush in your cheeks, the way your chest rises and falls as you catch your breath, and the glazed-over look in your eyes tell him everything he needs to know. “You’re exhausted, y/n,” he murmurs, his voice laced with special tenderness that’s strictly reserved for you. He gently brushes a stray strand of hair away from your damp forehead, his fingers lingering against your temple. “I pushed you enough tonight. You’ve done more than enough for me.”

“But yawne—”

He shakes his head firmly, though his touch remains soft as he resumes cleaning you with the damp cloth. “No, syulang. You need to rest. It doesn’t feel right to make you do more when I can see how tired you are.” His gaze flickers to your trembling thighs and then back to face that clearly shows how sleepy you are. “I’ll be fine. Just go to sleep.”

As his wife you feel like it is your duty to sexually gratify your husband no matter what so the idea of leaving him unsatisfied sits uneasily in your mind. You reach for his wrist, stopping him mid-movement. “It doesn’t feel right to leave you like this,” you tell him, your voice firm despite the fatigue threatening to pull you under. “You’re my mate. I need to take care of you too.”

Ao’nung’s lips quirk into a faint, affectionate smile. “Stubborn, as always,” he mutters under his breath, though his tone is filled with nothing but adoration. “You’ve already taken care of me. Watching you cum for me is all I needed.”

Still, you persist, your hand tightening slightly around his wrist, wanting him to just give in already and allow you to reciprocate the pleasure he gave you. “Well, It doesn’t feel like enough.”

Ao’nung lets out a low chuckle at how persistent you are and how you’re fighting sleep just so you can return the favor, which makes him just fall deeper in love with you. His free hand comes up to cup your cheek, forcing you to meet his gaze. “It’s enough for me,” he says softly, his thumb brushing along your cheekbone. “I would much rather you rest than push yourself when I know you’re already spent.”

You open your mouth to argue again, but Ao’nung leans forward, pressing a firm kiss to your forehead that causes you to silence your words before you can make them audible. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll take care of it myself if I need to.” He doesn’t mind jerking off to flashbacks of you trembling under his touch, imagining your warmth wrapped around his cock, and running his thumb over his oozing tip and imagining it as your tongue, if it means his mate can get some well deserved rest.

“Ao’nung, just let me—”

“Shh,” he murmurs, his fingers sliding down to your shoulder, guiding you gently to lie back down so you can finally get sleep. “Close your eyes. You’ve done more than enough for me tonight.”

A part of you wants to push and continue fighting him on the idea of letting him handle his hardened cock alone but the weight of exhaustion finally takes over, your body sinking into the soft mat and you allow your mate to win this time. Ao’nung pulls the blanket over you, his hands lingering to make sure you’re fully covered and comfortable.

As your eyelids grow heavy, you hear him whisper in your ear one last time, his voice low and soothing as he lightly strokes your hair, something he knows helps calm your mind and body. “Sleep, my beautiful mate. You’re all I’ll ever need.” As the words leave his lips he settles beside you, his presence warm and protective as you drift off into a dream state. For now he’s here to make sure your night is peaceful and your sleep is without interruption but later tonight, when you’re hours into your much needed rest, he’ll be in the other room stroking his cock to the thought of your exquisite beauty and gorgeous physique.

Fanbase — @eme1hyst @o-kingston @erenjaegerwifee @Kaydoux @biaaaaaaaa1 @hikotaru @thisaintredwine @lexieeeeeeeei @that-gurl25 @simpingforbelphegor @Peanut713521 @anemonelovesfiction @jakesullyfatjuicypeen @makaylalovessmut @lustforlana4 @Anita @pandoraslxna @iris-xoxo-juhu @domineezy @hc-geralt-23 @ikeyniofthetayrangi @aonungmyaddiction @savagemickey03 @buble787635 @normspellmann @em-x0 @sliqeramx @lexasaurs634 @deadgirlrin @lina @merlinbtch @sussybaka10 @galactict3a @shima @rae @bigdikzaddy @roseblushpink1 @3xclusive_kylani @Bubble787635 @casualmilkshakecupcake @ninaa @atomicslimetoadstudent @shmaptainbonky @moonstidalwaves @jayy-24 @emilymikado

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juniperskye · 3 days ago

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Turn to Stone

Based on the following ask: I'd like a Hotch x reader where reader is a professional dancer please! She gives Hotch tickets to one of the performances she's participating in. Hotch invites the rest of the team and reader gets to show off with a partner dance. I picture reader and her dance partner being like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers or Ariana Debose and David Alvarez, but if you have another pair in mind that's fine too. – Okay so I used to LOVE SYTYCD and one of my favorite contemporary duets was Melanie and Marko dancing to turn to stone. Travis Wall is an incredible choreographer!!! So that is the dance I am picturing.

Aaron Hotchner x Dancer! Fem Reader

Fluff

Word count: 1324

Not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, Age gap (non-specified), reader is a professional contemporary dancer, no use of y/n, Fem reader, reader has no physical description (she can however be lifted and participate in a contemporary dance routine), established relationship with Hotch, use of pet names let me know if I missed any!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

“Okay, I have your ticket at will-call, you’re gonna be there right?” You questioned nervously.

“Yes sweetheart I will be there. I have made sure consultations have been sent out and I put in a request to be off tomorrow evening. There shouldn’t be any issues.” Aaron reassured you.

“Okay! Sorry, I’m just nervous. It is a big performance, and I really want you to be there.” You rushed.

“I know, you’ve been working so hard honey, and I wouldn’t miss it.” He confirmed.

You hadn’t told Aaron that you’d actually been chosen for a partner dance with one of the guys in your company. He and you were often partnered up, even within group numbers…and that was mainly because Marko and you had incredible chemistry on stage. The two of you were able to anticipate one another’s movements without words.

You’d been rehearsing every day for weeks, the group routines and your partner routine, practicing again and again until the movements became second nature. Part of the reason you’d put so much pressure on yourself was because your partner dance would be the closing number of the entire performance.

What you didn’t know was that Aaron had also been keeping a secret from you.

He’d gone ahead and invited his whole team to see your dance performance. He’d mentioned to them that it had been coming up and he expressed how proud he was and how hard you’d worked, and that led to Garcia asking if they could tag along. Who was he to say no? This was an opportunity for them to see how amazing you were.

Aaron had seen you on the stage a few times before and every time you managed to take his breath away. He was always in awe of how effortless you made your movements look and it was just incredible to see you following your dreams and expressing them so passionately. You inspired him, and he wanted to share that…to show you off to his team.

As the day came and went, your nerves and excitement only grew. This is how it was before every show…you’d feel a teeny tiny bit of anxiety, but your excitement would cloud it every time. You became a dancer because it was who you were, it was in your bones.

That night, Aaron made you a simple dinner of grilled chicken and steamed vegetables. He knew you wouldn’t want to eat anything heavy the night before your performance. You ate while going over the highlights of your day…both omitting the fact that you both were currently holding a secret from the other.

When you two got into bed for the evening, Aaron gently rubbed and stretched your feet and ankles assisting you in working those muscles, keeping them loose and ready for your big show.

Aaron held you close that night, feeling almost giddy about the fact that he’d get to show you off tomorrow.

The next morning, Aaron got up and made you tea with honey, he knew you’d be up early to head to the studio.

“Thanks baby.” You whispered.

“Of course.” Aaron kissed you. “I will see you tonight, okay? You are going to be amazing.”

“Thank you Aar. I love you so much!” You hugged him.

“I love you too. Have a good day and break a leg!” He called before heading out the door.

You sipped your tea and packed the things you’d need for the day. You grabbed the lunch that Aaron packed for you – full of healthy snacks and your water bottle – and you left for the day.

Your company did some last-minute costume fittings, and makeup trials. Then they moved into stretches and warmups before shifting into a full-blown dress rehearsal.

The program was organized as such:

Full company contemporary

Men’s jazz

Women’s partner ballet

Elite company ballroom

Women’s Jazz

Couple’s partner salsa

Full company modern

Select company acro

Couple’s partner contemporary (aka your dance)

The dress rehearsal went perfectly, your director only making a few minor changes to ensure there was plenty of time for costume changes. The choreographers pulled a few people aside to give notes and ensure everyone was ready.

Your choreographer, Travis, pulled Marko and you to a studio to have you run your duet again, he wanted to push the both of you to really feel the emotion of the music and the movements. Travis was big on connection and chemistry in his routines, he wanted people to feel the emotion conveyed through your dancing. Once he felt satisfied with your progress he let you guys rest.

Aaron walked up to will-call to pick up the tickets, while he was waiting he sent you a quick text.

Hey gorgeous, you are going to be amazing. You inspire me every day with your passion, and I can’t wait to see you on that stage. I love you always. A.

“Hi, I’m picking up for Aaron Hotchner, there should be two orders.”

“Yes, I see there is a single ticket and then a set of six additional tickets.” The clerk confirmed.

“That’s correct.” Aaron nodded.

Aaron took the tickets and distributed them between the members of his team. They all then made their way into the auditorium to take their seats.

Aaron’s text gave you an additional wave of confidence to get you through this performance. The whole company was buzzing in anticipation.

The performances passed by in a blur. One after another, running off stage to change and adjust your hair and makeup as needed. Every time you came onto the stage, Aaron would point you out to the team. They couldn’t help but smile and giggle at him…he was just so proud, and it was an infectious feeling.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you all for being here tonight. We have one final performance for you tonight. So please join me in welcoming our final two dancers this evening, performing a contemporary routine, Turn to Stone, choreographed by Travis Wall.

When you entered the stage, made up to look like a statue, Aaron was stunned to silence. He couldn’t believe you’d been able to keep this to yourself long enough to surprise him tonight.

The piano began, signaling Marko and you to move. The two of you were in sync, moving as one, beautifully gracing the stage. The crowd roared as you progressed through your routine, Marko lifting and catching you with ease during the lifts, as the music came to crescendo.

Aaron had tears in his eyes as he watched you move. The raw emotion you and Marko emitted with every point of your toe, twirl, lift, you two were telling a story and it was touching each person that sat in the audience before you.

As the song concluded, Marko shifted in close to you and you both froze to mimic statues. Silence filled the room briefly before the crowd erupted in applause…gifting you a standing ovation.

Marko and you took a quick bow before exiting the stage. Heading back to get some of this makeup off before greeting Aaron.

You ran towards Aaron, leaping into his arms, squealing in delight. You were on cloud nine, the routine had gone perfectly, and you couldn’t have been happier with the outcome.

“You were incredible. That duet, honey, I-I don’t even know what to say. You were, you just. I’m so proud of you. I love you so much.” Aaron was at a loss for words.

“I love you too! Thank you so much for being here to support me. I didn’t want you to miss this.” You smiled.

Aaron passed you a bouquet of flowers and gestured towards the BAU team who all stood in awe, watching the exchange between you and their boss. Shock written on their faces, seemingly from his softness regarding you.

“Guys, this is my amazing girlfriend.”

Taglist: @bernelflo @pastelpinkflowerlife @just-moondust

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zouofzouey · 10 hours ago

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Pulling Them by the Collar | MHA & JJK w/ Fem!Reader

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT'S FINALLY DONE

I had to cut some characters just cause I wanted to get this out sooner

And uh... it's been a while. If you were wondering where I've been, let's just say I've gotten sick like 6 different times since I've written on Tumblr and I was kind of tired of doing sick headcanons.

Or you could say I was sick of sick headcanons. Groan

Anyway, enjoy lovelies.

Series; My Hero Academia and Jujutsu Kaisen

Characters; Bakubaby, Todomoki, and Gojoy

-----

Bakugou

"Y/n, don't be rash-"

"I'll be whatever the hell I want."

Your bestie, Yaomomo, chased after the ball of fury that is a scorned Y/n.

"Y/n, I know you're mad, I'm sure he didn't mean it!"

"Momo, don't make excuses for him."

"Y/n-"

A harsh turnaround stopped Momo in her tracks.

"Momo... I need to talk to him. Don't worry I'll be cool and rational."

"... Y/n, we both know that's not going to be the case..."

"Then I'll do it anyway."

"Wait!"

The door to Katsuki's dorm room slammed open.

There he was. Sitting on his comfy little bed.

He was reading a book and when he saw your angry face he quickly put it down and stared, "What the hell happened to you?"

Your eyebrow twitched as you stomped over to him.

Katsuki was still wearing his school uniform, he barely had gotten back from the last class before you got here. His tie was loose and the first few buttons of his button-up were unbuttoned.

The poor boy felt something tug around his neck. With a big pull, he was on his feet.

"Katsuki Bakugou."

"... Yes?"

"Why the hell did you eat my cake?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You were the one in my mini fridge last night. I had a strawberry cake in there. You took it didn't you?"

"That cake had been in there for two weeks. I threw it out."

Betrayal.

"I was saving that for a special occasion!"

He snarled, "Like what?"

"I don't know!"

Bakugou sighed, "I'll buy you another one if you want it that badly."

Your face brightened, "Really?"

"Just don't pull me up by the tie. It's stupid."

"You're stupid."

"You wanna repeat that?" A smirk made its way onto his face.

"You're stu-" He yanked at your tie, pulling you in for a kiss, "That ought to shut you up."

That left her with a blank expression, cheeks flushing a bit.

Bakugou turned and walked past her, "C'mon, let's get your damn cake."

Todoroki

It was a Thursday evening. You were leaned back in your bed, pillows propped up against the wall for comfort. In your hands was a shoujo manga Mina recommended to you.

The current scene was of a girl tugging her boyfriend by the tie for a kiss. And it caught your attention.

A certain two-toned haired boy would be perfect for a stunt like this. You couldn't help the sly smirk making its way onto your lips. Your bookmark was placed neatly in the page before you set it down on the table next to your bed.

With a skip in your step, you made your way down from your dorm room to the common space.

And there he was, he had just gotten back from class a few moments earlier, so his uniform was still on.

"Hey, Shouto?"

Your voice made him perk up a bit, he turned away from his conversation to smile at you. He was about to say something but was cut off by your iron grip on his tie.

He looked confused for a moment, but was caught more off guard by you tugging on his tie and bringing him down to your level.

Your lips ghosted over his in a small smile, it only took another second to give him a smooch worthy of the Gods.

Todoroki's face turned a little pink, but he reciprocated the kiss in no time.

The shocked faces of everyone around them were a nice cherry on top as your faces drifted apart.

"Just wanted to try something." You winked and gave Todoroki another kiss, this time on the cheek. You walked out and back to your dorm not long after.

"U-uh... Todoroki?" Midoriya asked with a concerned look on his face.

He had a dazed expression, once he snapped out of it his fingertips flew to his lips.

"I'll be right back."

He raced after you and soon caught up back in your dorm room.

"Y/n?"

"Hm?"

"Do it again."

Gojo

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. Stop complaining."

Gojo lazily laid on their shared bed, "But I don't wanna... formal events are so boring!"

Y/n turned toward him and scoffed a bit, "You sound like a child, Satoru."

He frowned a bit, "I'm just saying that we don't exactly have to go."

"I thought you enjoyed parties?"

"Not with a bunch of geezers, I'd rather stay here with you."

The h/c haired woman sighed, walking over to him. His tie was loosely around his neck, not properly tied.

"Let me fix your tie."

He pouted, "Honeyyyyyyy... please, let's just skip."

"Let me fix it."

Gojo made a little humpf sound and only sunk further into the pillows of the bed.

"Fine. Be that way."

He brightened a bit, "So we're not going?"

Instead of answering, Y/n simply leaned over his muscular frame, hovering with both hands placed on either side of his shoulders.

She leaned a little further down, Gojo pushed his head towards her to meet in a kiss. But rather than doing that, she grabbed hold of his tie, and with a big feat of strength, Y/n pulled him to his feet.

He was hunched over, Y/n fixing his tie. Once she was done she kissed his cheek.

"I'll grab your coat."

Gojo blankly stared at her retreating figure. He sighed, now knowing that there was no changing his girlfriend's mind.

"Honey?"

"Hm?" She came back in, his suit jacket in her hands.

"If you give me a kiss we'll get going."

She smiled and gave him another kiss on his cheek.

His hands landed on her waist, holding her in place as she tried to get his jacket on him.

"A real kiss."

Y/n smirked, "You'll get one if you can stay for the entire party."

She slipped the jacket onto him, a frown evident on his face.

"You're a tease."

"Only for you."

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theyhavetakenovermylife · 3 days ago

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Random Headcanons (18+)

Dark Leonardo x reader

A/N: Heheh, I needed some dark turtles, so I decided to throw a few headcanons out there💙🖤

All characters are aged up.

Warning: Mentioning of rough sex, pubic sex?

With Dark Leo being a kanabo clone of Leonardo, he was of course like Leonardo in many ways. And so was he when it came to his sex life and sexual desire. But just like with everything with kanabo DNA, it had a darker twist to it. While Leonardo would be described as passionate, the best word to describe Dark Leo would be; intense.

There was almost a possessive nature surrounding him, whenever he got to be on top of you, with his large frame pretty much cutting out all other views around you. It was almost like he did not want you to see or notice anything other than him, as if you looked away from him, you would disappear from his grip, and he simply could not let that happen. Not when he finally managed to find out what it actually felt like to love and be loved.

But while sex wasn’t the most important thing on the original Leonardo’s radar, Dark Leo always found it to be in the back of his mind. The thought of him and you, with your limbs wrapped around each other, even long before the two of you first got together. It wasn’t a straight up fixation, but it was definitely something that took up space and time in his thoughts. Leo liked to think it was the kanabo part of him that gave him some more spice than his counterpart. And spicy he was.

You liked to joke that Leo was your possessive sex demon. It could easily get rough and wild, with Leo almost becoming animalistic in his behavior. Well, one half of him was a mutant turtle, so that wouldn’t be too strange. But there was this dark possessiveness that you really enjoyed seeing in Leo. It was something in his eyes, as he pounded into you mercilessly, just about to grit his teeth. It was truly something.

Where Leo’s counterpart would only have sex at places, where he felt like he could control the environment, knowing that he and his partner would be safe, Leo didn’t care too much about it. In Leo’s head, he believed that he had control of any sort of environment, in the sense that he would be able to counter any sorts of danger that suddenly would appear while the two of you were getting at it. In other words - Leo would fuck you anywhere at any time, whenever the two of you felt like it, not giving two shits if someone walked in. But he would definitely make sure that they would leave again, without him even having to pull himself out of you.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader smut #tmnt dark turtles x reader #tmnt dark turtles x reader smut #tmnt dark leo x reader #tmnt dark leo x reader smut #tmnt dark leonardo x reader #tmnt dark leonardo x reader smut #tmnt leo x reader #tmnt leo x reader smut #tmnt leonardo x reader #tmnt leonardo x reader smut #tmnt fast forward x reader #tmnt fast forward x reader smut

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ally1uvsu · 3 days ago

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Dream Drabbles | Choi su-bong (Thanos) x Nam-gyu

⨉⠀⠀─⠀⠀Series .⠀›⠀Trans Namgyu Week 2025⠀‎ꪆৎ day 2; Somnophilia — Day 1

·⠀warnings info⠀· NSFW — . wc; 1.4K

summary; Thanos had a particularly draining day at work today, lately, he hasn’t been able to spend time with his boyfriend. But something Nam-gyu said a few weeks prior to today made him quickly change his mind.

info; Somnophilia, Vaginal Sex, Consensual Non-Consent, Namgyu is a heavy sleeper, Bottom Namgyu (Squid Game), Top Choi Subong I Thanos, Domestic, Alternate Universe - No Squid Game (Squid Game), Alternate Universe - No One is in Debt (Squid Game), Thanos is a famous rapper (living his dream), Namgyu is in college for law school, Sleepy Cuddles, Sleepy Sex, Whining, Theyre so cute I'm going to implode, Penis In Vagina Sex, Trans Male Character, trans namgyu, Creampie, sober Thagyu!!

notes; Hi guys!! Thank you sm for the love in the first day of the series, here’s day two!! Feel free to leave reqs for day three, it can be any genre!! Btw this is not proofread! Tysm and enjoy<33

Work was particularly busy today for Thanos, he sighed as he fell into step towards his car, opening it and turning the keys.

He has been working on a new album, and he barely has any time to spend with his beloved boyfriend, Nam-gyu. Especially when he was so focused on studying for his finals since he went to law college.

A huff left his lips as he looked ahead into the street, fingers basically itching to reach towards his phone and call Nam-gyu.

What stopped him was the late hour as he checked his phone, nearly midnight. It only proved that Thanos had been far too busy with work, he'd definitely talk about it with Nam-gyu whenever they both could sit down and relax.. he hoped tomorrow, since it would be Saturday.

So, instead of calling him, he opened the app connected to his phone, showing images of the cameras they both agreed on setting up in their apartment for safety reasons.

Once Thanos paused on a red light, a small smile found its way into his lips to see Nam-gyu asleep on the bed, the TV turned on into some nature documentary, Thanos didn't quite get why he liked those but he wouldn't question it. Hey, if it made Nam-gyu happy, so be it.

As soon as he saw the shimmer of the green light into the his skin, though. Thanos put the phone away, maybe driving a bit faster to get home and just have a little time with Nam-gyu, even if it meant only cuddling to sleep.

Thankfully for Thanos, it wasn't a long drive. And soon enough, he was opening the door and kicking his shoes off. He moved quietly towards their bedroom, even moving the handle slower than usual as to not make any noise.

A contented sigh left his lips to see Nam-gyu lying under the blankets, face buried into a pillow and belly down. Before anything, however, Thanos got out of his not so comfortable clothing and just put on a shirt comfortable enough for sleeping, not really bothering for undergarments since he normally slept in boxers.

Once he brushed his teeth and made sure everything was okay, he shut off the TV and lifted the blankets slightly, rolling Nam-gyu to face his front. Quite frankly, Thanos wasn't really sure why he was so quiet when Nam-gyu slept like a fucking rock, but still, the intention is what matters, right?

He kissed Nam-gyu's forehead, a hand gripping his waist gently, rubbing circles onto it through his shirt.

Well, once he paid enough attention, he realized it wasn't quite Nam-gyu's shirt. Nam-gyu was wearing Thanos' 'stay at home' clothes.

Not that Thanos minded, he found Nam-gyu to be hot as hell in his clothing, but sometimes Nam-gyu mainly did it whenever they were not really in contact, little things to remember each other. Just like how Thanos wore some of Nam-gyu's rings.

A grunt left his lips, burying his face into Nam-gyu's neck as he pressed a few kisses there, cuddling up to him closer. His skin felt oh so warm, and Nam-gyu looked so fucking handsome while he slept, it's not like Thanos could resist his boyfriend's charm! (Even if he wasn't doing anything at all.)

Only when he pulled away, though. Did Thanos notice his pants were a bit tighter than usual, did he cursed under his breath, Thanos wasn't about to wake up Nam-gyu from his sleep just to have sex with him.. so he'd just have to handle himself.

He was about to leave bed, until a few familiar words rang through his mind.

- "You know, you might as well wake me up while fucking me whenever we're too busy to have intimacy. I won't complain, hell, if anything I'd probably like it." Nam-gyu said jokingly while they had dinner together, it eas a joke but it was without doubt, laced with truth.

"Does that mean I get to do it everyday?" Thanos said, joking back and giggling as Nam-gyu's eyes became wide and his mouth agape. "I'm joking, I'm joking! But hey, you might wake up to that when you least expect it." -

Thanos looked at his sleeping boyfriend, and then bit his bottom lip. Hey, he had consent, maybe Nam-gyu would like it?

Deciding to not ponder on it too much anymore, Thanos swapped their positions once again, having Nam-gyu on his back while Thanos was hovering just above him.

Quickly discarding his boxers, Thanos slipped off the sweatpants Nam-gyu was wearing, same for undergarments. The sight of Nam-gyu half-naked state or naked state in itself never failed to make him starstruck, how could Thanks get so lucky with his boyfriend?

Biting him bottom lip, one of his hands moved over Nam-gyu's body. One held one of his thighs apart from the other grasped his dick in his hand, head ducking down as he nestled his dick right between his folds, a hiss leaving his lips as he thrusted forward slightly, feeling his tip hit the other's clit, causing Nam-gyu to let out a quiet whimper. The bastard was asleep but sure was enjoying this.

Thanos bit down on his bottom lip hard in a particular moment the head of his cock got caught into Nam-gyu's entrance, and he slowly began sliding in. He bit his lip so hard he could taste blood, it took all of his self control to not go in as far as he could at once, he wanted to wake up Nam-gyu as late in the act as possible.

He only stopped biting his lip the second he felt his hips snug against the latter's ass, letting out a shuddering breath Thanos hadn't even known he had been holding. Both of his hands had a hold on Nam-gyu's hips as he began pulling out ever so slightly before slamming back in, giving a few shallow little thrusts to test the waters.

Once Nam-gyu only squirmed a little in his sleep, Thanos began thrusting slow but yet deep. Head pressed against Nam-gyu's neck as quiet (at least in Thanos' vocabulary) as he could.

His stomach did a little flip at the thought of Nam-gyu waking up to this, being pleasured. The thought made his cock throb, and Thanos moaned.

Already giving up on not waking up Nam-gyu, who again, like mentioned, slept like a rock, Thanos began picking up the speed, not bothering to keep quiet as he chased his own orgasm, and that was more than enough to wake up Nam-gyu.

"Su-bong?.. are you home??" Nam-gyu mumbled at first, not catching on what was happening. But then, a few seconds later, he realized it. Thanos was fucking him awake, not even slowly, he was shamelessly fast.

"hhng- ohmygod- su-bong!" Nam-gyu moaned, he already felt so close.. just how long had he and Thanos been at it? He wouldn't question. "You told me you wanted me to wake you up like this," Thanos said as he tried to control his panting voice as his eyes met Nam-gyu's droopy and sleepy gaze, capturing his lips on a kiss.

The kiss was impatient, both of them too pent up and missing each other due to their responsibilities, moans from each other were swallowed, and Thanos' thrusts became sloppier, indicating he's close. Nam-gyu caught on the hint, Thanos' name slipping past his lips in a mix of moans and groans as he touched himself, the stimulation just enough to send him tipping over the edge, gushing around Thanos' dick and his cunt weakly fluttering around it in timed spasms.

Unable to take it anymore, Thanos gave only a few more sloppy thrusts before burying himself to the hilt, head pressed firmly against Nam-gyu's neck as he released inside of him.

Familiar hands carded through his hair, and Thanos let out a soft sigh. Pulling out slowly, he lay with his front to Nam-gyu, who looked a tad blissed out but content.

"What the fuck drove you to do this?" The other said with a small laugh, and Thanos shrugged. "I just missed you and didn't want to disturb your slumber." Thanos said before closing his eyes, ready to knock the fuck out.

"Don't be gross, we need to shower." Nam-gyu grumbled, but Thanos held his wrist, leg tangling with his as he trapped him into a bear hug. "Laterr, let's just rest for a bit." Thanos suggested, and was met with a kiss and a nod, maybe fucking Nam-gyu awake wasn't such a bad idea after all.

#124 x 230 #230 x 124 #choi su bong #nam gyu #player 124 #player 230 #squid game season 2 #thangyu #thagyu #thanos x nam gyu #im sleep deprived #someone sedate me

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hollowed-theory-hall · 1 day ago

Note

I've been reading your posts for awhile now and I genuinely enjoy reading your takes especially with Harry's characterization. so I've been wondering what are your thoughts on the lupin family? especially with teddy? although I still kinda dislike his parents' relationship i still think he's an interesting character and i wished people talked about him more outside of shipping. What would his relationship with harry be growing up? Also Lyall's death was never really confirmed, only hope's was so do you think he and Andromeda raised teddy instead of harry? It still feels odd that remus chose a 17 year old to be his son's godfather surely there were other suitable candidates than a literal teenager.

Thank you so much 💕

So, this is like entirely in my headcanon space since I did not watch/read Cursed Child and I'm not planning to. I don't consider any of the post-book material canon at all except the Quidditch World Cup in 2014, which I accept since it's fun and doesn't go out of its way to ruin established characters. I enjoyed reading it more than the epilogue, so that's something.

That being said, I often prefer to ignore many aspects of the epilogue and the World Cup article when headcanoning post-books events. I also don't engage much with next-gen stuff since I'm more interested in Harry's generation, but I do have some thoughts about Teddy.

With all this out of the way, let's talk about the Lupins.

So, I like Remadora, I think they're alright for the little we see of them. Tonks just deserves so much better than Lupin in my mind. I mean, he wanted to leave her, after he got her pregnant, for his own sense of inadequacy, guilt, and allergy to taking responsibility. Harry was so justified in ripping Remus a new one.

Now, I mentioned here, how I think Remus didn't make Harry Teddy's godfather because he thought Harry was ready (though Harry is more mature and responsible at 17 than Remus is at 37, so...), but as a way to promise Harry that he isn't going to push him, or Tonks, or anyone who loves him away anymore. It was Remus trying to apologize in a weird way that didn't really land. Especially since he goes and dies right after. (can you tell Remus is my least favorite marauder?)

Now, I find it really hard to imagine Remus as a father for Teddy had he lived. Like, I can see Tonks being a cool mom and her and Teddy matching hair colors when walking together and messing with people (and I think she could become more responsible had she lived longer). Remus is a harder one for me to envision as a parent. I mean, I think he'd be relieved that Teddy wasn't born a werewolf, but whenever he'd look at Teddy and Nymphadora, I think Remus couldn't help but feel sorry for himself and like he doesn't deserve them. While making Harry Teddy's godfather was meant to be a sort of promise, I can't see Remus fixing his habits so quickly. I mean, he'd try. But I can also see him, trying to up and leave a few times only to be talked out of it by various characters.

I think his behavior is going to put a lot of stress on Tonks too. Like, While I think they do love each other, I don't know how well their relationship would work in the long run if Remus doesn't bother to work on himself and get his fucking act together.

But in the books they both died, so Teddy is spared the mess his parents' relationship likely would've been and is instead stuck with a different mess of being an orphan with a 17-year-old caretaker. (This kid cannot win. Maybe because both his parents were kinda irresponsible and didn't quite get a grasp on adulthood when he was born)

So, post-DH, Remus and Tonks are dead, Ted Tonks is dead and we are left with a grieving Andromeda who lost all her family (again), a grieving Harry who just keeps losing people, and a newly orphaned barely a-year-old Teddy Lupin.

I think Teddy is an interesting mirror to baby Harry and Neville in a way. His parents died/couldn't take care of him because of Voldemort/his followers and he was left with only a godfather/grandmother. Teddy got both and his godfather isn't in Azkaban, so he has it a little better.

I like to imagine Harry makes sure to be super involved with Teddy's childhood, but I can't imagine a 17-year-old (almost 18) Harry post-war and maybe going back to Hogwarts for 8th year (depends on headcanon) being in a state to take care of a baby full time. I like to think Andy helps out in that first year a lot. I think Andy needs someone, some family to get her through loss. And I think Harry could enjoy Andy's company too. I'm sure she has plenty of stories about a young Sirius, and maybe even a young James, and in my headcanon, Andy somewhat adopts Harry as an extra son too.

Which means she ends up seeing way more Weasleys than she ever expected to. I think the Weasleys, who just lost Fred would understand a lot. I mean, both Andy and Molly lost a child and other family. I want Andromeda be more involved with all of them post-canon. That's my wish.

So Harry is Teddy's official guardian, but he spends loads of time with his grandma and the Weasleys growing up probably. Like, I don't mind him and Victoire being together, though I wouldn't necessarily have been my preferred choice, but I don't really care. They're probably childhood besties because they grew up together.

As for Teddy's relationship with Harry, I think Harry would end up treating him more like a much younger brother than a son. I mean, when Teddy would be 10, Harry would just be 27. Don't get me wrong, Harry could, technically, be his dad, but I think their dynamic is going to be different than that of Harry with his own children. Just because of how young and traumatized Harry is when he gets Teddy.

So, I think their relationship would have its tense points, but they'd also love each other. Like, you know Harry would do his best. He'd be super protective over Teddy, Andy would be, too. Like, no one messes with this kid.

But I also kinda want Teddy making a: "you're not my dad" joke/comment when Harry tries to send him to his room or something and Harry doesn't know if he wants to laugh or cry the first time it happens. But I think it would become a recurring joke Harry laughs from.

I think the first years would be the roughest. Everyone's grieving and trying to settle back into a semblance of normal life. Harry never really had a "normal life" he's gonna have no idea what to do with himself and I think Teddy could be a purpose he dedicates himself to. I think these two and Andy could all help each other figure their lives out. But as Teddy grows older and things settle down, it becomes easier.

While I think Harry and Teddy would end up really close, it's not going to be exactly the same relationship Harry and Sirius had. Teddy is going to have a happy childhood, Harry and Andy wouldn't let it be any other way, so he won't have the same grief and trauma Harry did as a child. Like, their dynamic would be less desperate, I think. Like, Harry wouldn't need to stay in a cave and eat rats for Teddy, their situation would be way chiller. Like, I think Harry would be constantly confused about how Teddy ended up being such a cool kid/teen because he doesn't think he could've raised him like that and he would joke about it with Teddy who'd be all sarcastic like: "Obviously, I raised myself here,"

Like, I imagine Teddy with his mother's punk fashion sense and goofiness (the goofiness I believe was 100% shared by Ted Tonks), Remus' voice and constant self-doubt, Andromeda's posture (he sits with his back perfectly straight, okay, Andy didn't let him slouch by the table), and Harry's sarcasm. He's like this mix of them and still his own person.

I think Teddy is likely to go through quite a lot of personal phases to try and figure out his own identity and how he portrays himself. Becouse everyone treats him as the godson of the famed boy who lived, but his dead parents were the last Metamorphmagus and a Werewolf. And he is very close to his grandma, who is a disowned daughter of House Black. Like, this is a kid rip for angst about who he is and who people see him as and him being a Metamorphmagus really leans into it.

Like, a young Teddy making sure to look like Harry in public because he's proud of the connection. Or Teddy mimicking Remus or Tonks' appearance from photos when he thinks about them and misses them or wants to remind strangers who his parents actually are becouse they seem to forget. Like, that could be super fun.

I think Harry's kids would really like Teddy. He's like a cool older cousin/brother who lives with them. Like, I can see them really looking up to him and Teddy would complain to Harry about being followed around by a 3-year-old that won't leave him alone and Harry would just find the whole thing amusing.

(I can also see a post-war Andromeda getting back in touch with Narcissa, so you could involve the Malfoys too if you felt like it. Though I feel like Teddy would just, not like Lucius much)

(Also also, I think Lyall is dead. I feel like if he was alive we would know, yk?)

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #asks #anonymous #hollowedtheory #harry james potter #remus lupin #nymphadora tonks #teddy lupin #andormeda tonks #andromeda black #hp next gen

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fitzjamesbulletwound · 15 hours ago

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welcome to my jirv character study and thank you in advance for reading/commenting/liking/anything, if you interact with this at all i love you <3

i don’t want to spend too much time on an intro but what i will say is that overall, what i found so fascinating and tragic about jirv as a character is that throughout the story he and his actions are defined by what he denies about himself and how he subsequently closes himself off from others, and the tragedy of this being that once they abandon the ships he, like many of the other characters, begins to allow parts of himself to come to the surface that we haven’t seen before, and of course the saddest part of this is that for jirv it begins to happen only days, hours, minutes before his death. oh one note- i refer to him as “john” and “jirv” throughout most of this so hopefully that’s not confusing lol.

episode 1/first impressions- the first time we see jirv is in the chinese sniper story dinner scene and both in this first scene and the early episodes in general there’s a lot to be seen regarding his relationship with crozier in particular and of course just his general pattern of behavior and what it implies about his state of mind. at the dinner scene he appears prim, maybe a little uptight, a bit of that upper class-ness that i think is evident in a lot of the officers in the early eps. it’s also really interesting seeing how he reacts to crozier in this first scene- i do think that jirv’s relationship with crozier is similar to ned’s in the sense that he very much wants to please crozier but he is also somewhat derisive in his reactions to crozier’s more explosive moments. when he interrupts fitzjames at dinner jirv looks down in embarrassment and is clearly uncomfortable with crozier’s behavior.

this spills over into the ice talk scene where jirv again reacts in embarrassment to crozier borderline insulting franklin (“you nearly starved, not all of your men survived”)- he was listening to crozier with rapt attention but when he says this he instantly hangs his head in shame and you can see him fidgeting in the background.

and jirv’s overall depiction in this scene is so interesting to me because there’s a certain almost childlike innocence that characterizes him in his ep 1 scenes (i also have to add that there are quite a few songs on the davechella playlist that seem to explore and make reference to jirv’s childhood which i think is significant but anyway)- we make a lot of jokes about him basically not being allowed to sit at the grown up table but i wonder if the purpose of this was more to symbolize his isolation from the other men, including his fellow officers, due to his own issues of denial and repression; that is to say- denying parts of yourself also denies you the joy or even the routine comfort of human connection, of belonging. but another part of this characterization in the first ep is that it’s in such contrast to how we see jirv in his later and arguably most memorable scenes; in ep 1 i don’t have any other words for it- he’s cute! he looks innocent! and i think they meant for him to come across that way! but later on what we largely see is his anger and although i will make the argument that jirv uses anger to mask other more complicated (to him) emotions, it’s such a difference from what we see in the first ep. it’s almost a case too of meekness vs. righteousness in a religious sense as well- the two sides that we see of jirv at different moments in the story.

on to episode 2 and THE orlop scene. one of the first thing i noticed with this scene is how jirv’s greatcoat fits him- it makes him look almost like a priest and i just love how the costuming is used in the show to convey personality and mannerisms ahhhh.

this scene was also such a great study in jirv/ronan’s microexpressions and what they reveal about him- from this moment on, we can see that jirv spends a lot of time hiding fear with anger, and in this particular case using it to hide the paralyzing shock of knowledge- jirv knew exactly what he was hearing immediately and it froze him in place. what really surprised him here i think is that it was someone he knew- when billy comes out and jirv asks “what are you doing down here?” it is a rationalization- he KNOWS billy isn’t meant to be down there and he knows exactly what it is he was doing.

and jirv remains frozen in place to the point where he’s not even doing his nervous fingers compulsion that i noticed he does a lot in stressful circumstances (essentially rubbing his fingers together) and the look of absolute fear that comes across his face when he sees it’s hickey with billy- i’m skipping ahead (kinda) here but this makes me think of their (chronological) first scene, where you can tell that there is something that jirv recognizes in hickey- not just that something is off with him, but i do think that on their first meeting hickey really elicited some feelings in jirv that he wasn’t willing to confront and that that feeling lingered for the rest of the expedition. but back to the scene at hand- jirv can’t look at hickey and can’t take another step forward and can’t even address him directly in that moment and the only time he looks at him is when hickey’s back is turned. i think for jirv this whole scenario just really drove home something that was already in him, something he doesn’t allow himself to think of but that he is forced to contend with in this moment.

overall the scene of him catching billy and hickey shows the reaction of a man who knew immediately what he was walking into because it lives in his heart and in his body no matter how much he denies it, and he masks the fear of his own reaction with anger because the feelings that come up are ones he can’t acknowledge to himself; he can’t meet hickey’s eyes because to meet them would be to meet his own nature and confront everything that comes with that. and later once jirv has left when hickey says that he is a “man afraid of chaos” and refers to there being “worse things than being lashed”, he could be referring to jirv’s denial in both cases (i don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say that hickey likely clocked jirv early on)

this is a very jirv/hickey heavy episode but the next significant jirv moment we get is the scene where hickey is drinking with crozier and jirv comes in to tell him about the lead parties returning- he certainly displays nervous body language when addressing crozier- slightly higher pitched voice, his nervous fingers thing he does- but i think what clearly has him the most freaked out here is hickey’s presence. i really thought about this because even in the context of what jirv just saw, he has no reason to fear hickey in the slightest; it was jirv that caught hickey, not the other way around, although to jirv i’m sure it may still feel that way. hickey poses no actual threat to him beyond the effect he has on him and hickey knows it; that’s why he smirks at jirv’s reaction. the only way this really makes sense to me is if jirv’s fear is due to his own internalized shit because truly what does he have to fear from hickey? what could hickey possibly threaten him with? if anything, hickey should be afraid of jirv telling crozier what he saw but he knows he won’t tell and he knows why i think. what could he do to john besides make him understand himself in ways he’s terrified of? and of course i mean that in the sense of what we know about hickey up to this point in the story and not yet knowing what he is capable of in later episodes. but this is all to say that jirv’s fear here is 100% due to his feelings about hickey and nothing else.

this scene is also another great example of him using anger to cover his apprehension- he forces himself to meet hickey’s eyes once crozier has walked away and the best way i can describe what happens is that there is a tension in that look. it’s one thing to be religious and angry and judgmental about sodomy on the ships but it’s another thing to be terrified of the mere presence of one single gay person, to say nothing of how hard it was for him to even look at him!

and on to episode 3! what i realized when watching this episode through the jirv lens is that in almost every scene we see him in leading up to his confrontation with hickey, it’s fairly evident that he is thinking of that very moment and how to go about it (i think what sent him over the edge was billy coming to him and everything that he told him) and that’s how i want to canonically prove that jirv was thinking of gay sex during the before breakfast crozier/lieutenants meeting scene when he’s just zoning out lol.

another thing i noticed about this scene is that it’s the first of a few where jirv is present when potential interactions with the netsilik people are being discussed. edward’s colonialist attitudes and assumptions about them that he expresses in this scene are foreshadowing for the reaction to the false story that hickey tells about jirv’s death, that ned and hodge both buy into in their grief for jirv but also in their racist views. that whole scene is actually foreshadowing for all 3 of them when jirv dies.

the next time we see jirv is when hickey sees billy go into his cabin. and the way he looks to hickey nervously not once but twice- this is i believe his nervousness and contemplation coming forward as he is still contemplating speaking to hickey, or at he very least thinking about what he walked in on.

and finally we do get the jirv/hickey confrontation scene- when jirv is walking down the little ramp to find hickey you can hear him take a big deep breath, definitely indicative of his nerves in going to speak to hickey. and again we see that he can’t make direct eye contact with hickey when hickey says he was hoping they’d meet. i also love the addition of the AB in the background saying “mind the grease sir” right after this- really speaks to the way john thinks of hickey in this moment- and of himself as well.

something i really thought about in this scene is jirv’s use of the term “devious seducer” and the more i thought about it the more it made me think… those words sound way less like something that billy would say vs sounding exactly like something that jirv would say, especially since his use of the term, regardless of who really said it, absolutely refers to how hickey makes him feel as much as it refers to what billy allegedly said about him.

jirv really is a deer in headlights when he finally brings himself to look at hickey and address him directly; even the way he says “please” is so pitiful and you can tell hickey is surprised that the conversation went beyond hickey thanking him for his help. the script notes that john is “usually a shy man” and that he “isn’t used to this kind of candor” but that this “may be the most courageous thing he’s ever done”- i think all of these are interesting in the context of what is being discussed as well given what we know about jirv’s sexuality and how he handles it- this wasn’t just difficult for him because he’s withdrawn, it was difficult for him because of the subject at hand specifically.

another phrasing of note here is when he tells hickey “though it benefitted you as a sin in itself i’m sure” because here jirv is basically accusing hickey not only of the ��sin” of sodomy, but the sin of enjoying it. i can only imagine that when he has sexual thoughts or urges towards men jirv convinces himself that if he doesn’t like it, doesn’t indulge in it, doesn’t entertain it, then somehow it doesn’t “count”.

he takes a huge shaky breath before he says “how you pressed him into service” because this is the closest he’s come to picturing that and perhaps even imagining it for himself- he can barely get the words out. and when a few moments later he starts in with the whole “turn your wolf’s ear to me” speech, we can really see some actual anger coming out- i do think he is angry with hickey but more so i think he is angry with himself, made even more significant considering what i believe he was just thinking about. he is projecting like crazy in this entire scene; much like the future lashing, this whole chastisement is as much meant for jirv to himself as it is to hickey.

and in regards to the “watercolours” advice- to me, there has never been a doubt in my mind that he is speaking from experience here, that these are all methods he’s employed to avoid the temptations of his own mind; the way this part is shot is almost humorous, and not just because we can see hickey start to try not to laugh. it just feels like such a wink nudge to the audience as if to say “yeah clearly jirv has tried all of these because he’s had many instances of having these thoughts himself”. his breathing gets shallow again as he discusses it and he starts to lose that anger and become anxious and unable to meet hickey’s eyes again.

however, all that anger comes back when he says “your crisis is an opportunity for you to repair yourself”, which i think is such an excellent line because as the viewer, we KNOW that hickey is in no way having a crisis about his sexuality; he is not ashamed of himself at all and even the threat of punishment isn’t enough for him to consider not being who he is and doing what he wants. we do know though (partially through the power of jirvchella) that john IS and has been having a crisis about his sexuality and that again these words, this anger is more for himself than it is for hickey. and finally with this scene- i love the zoom out that shows how close they are as they speak, how there’s no one else around. despite his purpose jirv ends up sharing this intimate moment with hickey that is caged in suggestion and implication and really shows us how jirv feels about himself and what he keeps secret.

finally, this isn’t a jirv scene persay but i do find it interesting the way hickey and billy discuss him later, especially when billy refers to jirv “forgetting the whole thing as he assuredly wants to”- i think it makes sense that both billy and hickey would have at least suspicions about why jirv reacted to the whole situation the way he did and honestly who would know better than the two of them? not to mention all the times that hickey mentions watching jirv but that’s a whole other post in itself.

to episode 4! his first scene in this ep is when they’re discussing tuunbaq after finding strong and evans’s bodies and this is another instance of foreshadowing to jirv eventually meeting the netsilik family, not just because of what they’re discussing but because he’s the most calm and rational in the room regarding the potential involvement of the netsilik

there’s a lot going on when he says “perhaps it wouldn’t be a mystery to the indigenous people here”- he seems very nervous to speak (doing his little nervous hands thing he does) and his use of the term “indigenous” is in stark contrast to the slur and the anger that fitzjames displays a moment later. i do think this shows that jirv is capable of a higher empathy towards the netsilik people than some other characters are and to be honest i’m not interested at all in trying to determine “who’s the best native ally in the terror” because the true act of hubris that they are all committing is the colonial violence and destruction inherent in their quest in the first place. BUT i do think it’s worth examining and thinking about who displays the most respect for the native people and why and ultimately how that plays out for them. and i mean it didn’t stop jirv (or goodsir) from dying but i think it says a lot about his beliefs and his nature. due to his extreme religious beliefs i think it would’ve been easy to depict jirv as being dismissive of any cultural or religious beliefs of the netsilik but instead he openly suggests that they simply ask them about tuunbaq. i also think it’s interesting that he accepts the reality put before him that tuubaq is a supernatural force, especially considering his later “god doesn’t grant us ghosts” bullshit. another source of religious conflict for jirv.

i don’t really get why jirv stomps out of the room after crozier goes to his bunk to have his depression flashback but it does look like jirv may be a bit disturbed and frustrated by the implication of bringing silna in for questioning given how aggressive fitzjames was about it and i certainly don’t think that or what hickey did was what jirv intended when he said that they should ask the indigenous people about tuunbaq.

when all hell breaks loose and everyone is clamoring to get above deck in the hallway you can hear crozier say “irving, irving get in there (up there?) and help us” but jirv is frozen in fear; even before crozier yells at him he is shrinking against the wall and i think this comes down to a matter of experience or lack thereof that some of the officers, including jirv, seem to display in moments of peril (ned’s panic when tuunbaq attacks in ep 8, hodge not being able to make a rational decision when he discovers jirv has been killed, etc).

once he’s above deck with crozier though, jirv being scared does actually seem to turn to real anger once he assesses the situation. he repeats crozier’s order for everyone to get on their knees and walks forward with him but while he does appear to be genuinely mad at what has happened, i think it’s worth noting that jirv only seems comfortable with taking action when he’s following someone else’s example. he seems terrified to ever act on his own unless he really hypes himself up to do it (confronting hickey, scene with manson). he has an issue making his own choices based on his own gut feelings or readings of a situation and prefers to let others lead and set the tone which can again be linked back to the denial he carries within himself. he really is a man of inaction.

i also caught him staring at hickey shortly before crozier dismisses everyone and they pass close by one another but by that point jirv has averted his eyes once again

and okay what i want to say about the lashing scene up front is that i don’t think that jirv told crozier about hickey and billy- i think crozier’s use of the term “dirtiness” is 1) crozier being a prick because he’s mad and he wants to humiliate hickey and 2) more in line with a section if the articles that refers to “swearing, drunkenness, scandalous actions” etc and mentions “uncleanness” specifically; there’s a whole separate article that refers to sodomy and if that was part of what hickey was being punished for, i think crozier would’ve just said that. and this is to say that jirv won’t look at hickey when hickey glares at him here for the same reason he always can’t, although in this instance i do think there’s a degree of guilt there too. hickey is about to experience something horrible and jirv feels like it’s something that he himself deserves as well and i believe this is why he forces himself to watch hickey the entire time once the lashing properly starts. he is punishing himself as much as he is forcing himself to witness hickey’s punishment. it’s a private warning and internal lashing that he does to himself.

some details of this scene- there’s that one infamous pan to him, billy, and jop and i know we focus a lot on the jop flinch but jirv flinches pretty hard here too and unlike billy and jop he doesn’t look away even as his expression gets more and more disturbed (he’s displaying a lot of his typical signs of distress- wide eyes, mouth falling open). of every significant reaction we see to hickey’s lashing, jirv is the only one to not look away. the only time he does he is looking in shock at johnson as he delivers some of the heaviest blows toward the end of the lashing but right after he goes back to watching hickey.

and the final jirv scene of the episode is when he goes to see to crozier and like it’s not a super significant jirv scene but i just want to point out that the terror does storytelling with a lot of different small elements and one of them is footsteps- they are often used to convey mood and tone of specific characters and in this instance, jirv approaches the room slowly where usually we can see and hear him walking pretty briskly and i love how that conveys his mood in this moment post lashing.

but moving on to episode 5- he only has one really important scene in this ep besides being mostly in the background of some others and that’s the scene with manson. this scene shows a very different jirv than the one we’ve seen up to this point but i think there are a few reasons why this is the case. he acts flippant and borders on cruelty towards manson and i truthfully don’t want to defend his actions but i think that the reason he behaves this way is because in the story, he has just come off the whole ordeal of confronting hickey but ultimately choosing to spare him and billy and also the kidnapping of silna and the subsequent lashing of hickey; in jirv’s mind this all happened because he wasn’t hard enough on hickey in the beginning. he showed him too much mercy and what came next was a direct result of that. because despite his delivery i think that jirv truly thinks he is helping in both of these scenarios, both with manson and with hickey previously. i’m sure discipline and cruelty are things he privately uses to keep himself in line and besides that it’s classic christian logic- he didn’t do a good enough job at being god’s warrior and because of that bad things happened and people were punished. he’s trying to avoid the same outcome with manson, as misguided as all of his attempts are.

anyway details- i think in the beginning of the scene we are seeing some real anger from him but i do think this anger is largely aimed at himself, much like in the hickey confrontation scene. the apprehension doesn’t come through until he has to take a big deep breath before he says he’s going to order manson down the ladder in the smallest, meekest voice possible, almost like he’s convincing himself that he’ll do it rather than telling manson he will. he really steels himself to do this and i think it’s very telling that the 2 times we see him overcome his fear of candor to directly confront someone he is much more motivated by his faith than he is by his duty as a lieutenant.

jirv very cautiously puts his hand directly on manson’s which i think is sooo interesting considering how significant touching is in the terror, especially bare skin to bare skin but anyway- manson only pulls his hand back when jirv touches him, he doesn’t hit him or shove him at all. jirv is just so high strung and scared in this scene that he has a ridiculously high startle response

and then hickey shows up- jirv is already against the wall at this point and hickey doesn’t even look at him but jirv like.. there is no other way to describe this but he arches his back, tips his head back, his eyes even roll into the back of his head. it’s very… interesting to say the least lol (the word i really want to use is erotic but it could just be the hickeyirving demon in my head whispering to me). jirv’s eyes also widen with fear when he watches hickey talk to manson and i think this is partially because of how intimately they are behaving, something that of course would freak jirv out. he looks one more time before deciding to flee rather than continue to try to exert his authority in this situation and i think this just further solidifies the effect that hickey’s mere presence has on him. man it’s been impossible to write this without mentioning hickey a million times but it’s always relevant lol.

aaand that brings us to episode 6! i really like the opening scene with jirv at the meeting because we get a little glimpse into his role as an officer and also the way he clings to order and routines in order to feel in control (all an illusion of course given what we know about the tins). but i think we can also conclude that john has been privy to just how fucked they all are in regards to their rations for a while as he is the one in charge of keeping track of them.

i’m usually too busy laughing at hodge’s reaction when jirv mentions the christmas pudding they made but i noticed this time around that jirv gives him a pretty irritated look and i think this is because he’s trying to emphasize “hey we have almost none of this left and that’s kind of alarming”. jirv has had to shoulder the burden of keeping track of the tins for the entire expedition and i imagine that put quite a strain on him, especially when they started overwintering.

he starts doing his little nervous fingers when he’s telling fitzjames when they’ll run out of food ugh and when fitzjames kinda tells him off for mentioning the number of men i feel like he doesn’t understand that jirv KNOWS that between the dwindling rations and the lemon juice no longer protecting against scurvy, jirv fully knows that more people are likely to die regardless of whether tuunbaq is around or not

he does look genuinely grateful for the encouraging words from fitzjames a few minutes later though; he almost looks surprised but he still nods and it’s very similar to how he looks at crozier later during his speech at carnival. again i just think jirv is very much a follower and he greatly values reassurance from those in power.

on to carnivale itself- it’s so funny to me how shocked crozier and jop look when they realize who’s singing lol. just knowing what jirv is like normally and then seeing him like that is jarring in a pleasant way even for us as the viewer- and of course i can’t mention this scene without the note from the script: “he’s had too much to drink already, relaxing his defenses”. i don’t want to spend too much time on this because i feel like it’s been talked about enough but the symbolism of jirv, drunk and inhibitions lowered, singing a song about a popular area for gay cruising is very well done. it sounds heavy handed typed out like that but it really isn’t in the scene itself! it’s just nice to see him be a part of the group and be happy and have fun, things he usually cuts himself off from no doubt because of what he’s in denial about.

jirv removing his halo when crozier asks them to remove their masks- there has been so much said about the symbolism of this and one thing i want to add is that it goes hand in hand with his actions of drinking, letting loose, singing that specific song, etc in terms of removing the mask of his faith that he uses to lie to himself and deny himself the truth of who he is. the halo being his mask that he removes (along with the eventual loss of his wings in the fire) is such a great detail ahhh i love it

the third and final scene of encounters with the netsilik being mentioned while jirv is on screen is when we can see jirv listening with rapt attention to crozier as he tells the men that the netsilik are good people who will help them- this is the ultimate foreshadowing to what happens with him in the next episode

the fire- i’m not going to go blow by blow but of course we can see jirv a lot during the fire scene- when stanley is burning he’s shouting for help trying to get blankets brought forward to put out the fire, and he can be seen ushering people out when fitzjames tells everyone to move calmly to the ice. after this, most of the times i can find jirv in the crowd he has shut down and seems frozen in place at various points. towards the end of the fire sequence i lose him entirely until we see him running out without his wings. this is a stretch but i think that little scene of him pulling on his wing ropes may have been him trying to pull them off because the next time we see him he doesn’t have them on.

and going back to the symbolism of him losing his halo and his wings at carnival- not only does he lose them, he loses them in a fiery inferno… crazy.

and here we are at episode 7. i will say that i’m going to do some analysis of eps 8 and 9 as well because i think they’re important to jirv’s characterization and also a theory i have about something that may have happened in the aftermath of his death. buuuut let’s get into episode 7

idk if i’ll remember to put the link in but if not someone pointed out a few weeks ago that jirv can be seen watching the men, specifically the future mutineers, packing up the boats to prepare for the march south. this was so intriguing to me because there’s no way that didn’t look suspicious to him but again it’s likely that he was too afraid of hickey to intervene or get closer.

john giving the order “forward men” truly just makes me sick for so many reasons… he is sending them all forward to their deaths! of which his will be one of the first! and the catalyst for the ultimate breakdown of the entire camp! ugh!

anyway on to the jop promotion scene- i feel so bad for jirv in this moment because he’s essentially learning that despite the fact that he has done everything he can to weed out the rotten tins and keep track of their provisions, they have always been a source of danger and death for the men and we can really see his shock and despair here. and i’m sure he felt so much guilt for it as well even though of course there’s nothing he could have done and no way he could’ve known. we can also hear the anxiety in his voice when he asks crozier what they will do if they can’t find any game.

ahhh and the nedving thigh grab scene- i would be remiss not to involve this because i DO think that it’s further evidence of jirv’s gayness of course. jirv is disassociating, thinking of the implications of what they’ve just been told, and when ned puts his hand on him he fully jumps; his hands jerk from the table where they were resting. he makes brief eye contact with ned and then stares off into the distance. it also looks like he’s breathing heavier. not a ton of analysis i want to do here that i haven’t already but i think his reaction is proof enough that that touch affected him very deeply.

moving on though- jirv’s reaction to the jop promotion scene is almost as happy as ned’s- it’s similar in the sense that we never (excepting carnival) see him so happy and i think this is because leaving the ship opened him to connection and belonging and letting himself be a part of moments with other people. it really is so so tragic and devastating to me- in this episode jirv just really seems on the cusp of becoming, letting go, days, hours before his death. he is experiencing joy, even permitting hickey’s proximity in the upcoming scene (he doesn’t argue or seem too uncomfortable with hickey accompanying him and farr) which is an interesting departure from his previous attitude towards him. and of course his interaction with the netsilik family but now i’m getting ahead of myself.

so okay here we go- final scenes. i do think jirv suggests splitting up to cover more ground because he knows how dire the situation is and how desperately they need to find food

i’ve made a post about his before but there are two moments of halo imagery that get used with jirv after carnival and this is the first- when he’s checking their position the sun comes into focus right over his head, haloing his face in the exact spot where he’s going to die. ugh.

he does hesitate very slightly when he realizes hickey will be with him but he doesn’t fight it and he seems more resigned to it (comfortable may be too strong of a word at this point but it’s possible). given he has spent most of the story avoiding even looking at hickey i think this is an important detail

ugh the way he takes off his hat both as a sign of respect before he goes to speak to the netsilik family but also as another stripping of his rank, a reducing to just himself, just john. and he looks so young and vulnerable… the way he first introduces himself with his full name and title and then strips it down to “john… i’m john”. he immediately realizes he can identify himself as a friend and in a less formal way, he leaves that piece of him behind and shows his vulnerability and humanity in a plea for help but also for connection. he is braver here than he has ever been and i don’t think he even realizes it. both the first time and the last time he says “john” he is holding his hand to his chest right where hickey will stab him.

and it all continues to crumble away as he calls hickey and farr, but most significantly hickey, his “friends” there is such a desperation when he says “food?” and wow just. there are a lot of face journeys and expressions in this show that have stuck with me ever since i first saw them and jirv’s when he eats the seal meat offered to him is one of them- from the second it touches his lips he looks like he is holding back tears- the longing and gratitude in his eyes is so evident. this act of communion that he receives from a complete stranger, someone who he has no doubt been taught most of his life to hate and distrust, yet they offered him this simple gift, the kindness of feeding him without question. not only that but i think it’s significant that he’s offered a second piece as well, one that he takes. and when he thanks koveyook it’s in a tone that suggests he doesn’t believe that he deserves it but that he is thankful for it nonetheless

he very deliberately reaches out with his hand (the ungloved one!) to touch koveyook in gratitude- all other points of touch we’ve seen with jirv have been cast in a negative light besides him shaking jopson’s hand (god hand touching becomes sooooooooo interesting in ep 7 and beyond, fitzier, joplittle, this scene, etc but that’s a post for another time)- but touch averse (to me) jirv deliberately takes this action in gratitude

and then the telescope… the telescope. his most prized possession, showing how precious koveyook’s gift to him was that he was compelled to offer it in thanks. they weren’t demanding anything from him, he just wanted to give them something in return and he is delighted to do so

he doesn’t even have time to put his glove back on before he dies which becomes significant in a sec, bear with me here. okay let’s talk about jirv calling hickey’s name 3 times before hickey betrays him- it’s not quite the same dynamics as peter denying jesus but interesting nonetheless… jirv’s first “hickey” is angry, the second is inquisitive, the third is almost pleading… and given dave’s whole “he sees what he thinks might essentially be fucking and he turns forward to either stop it or touch it”- which of course implies i think that even jirv himself didn’t know which and wouldn’t have until he actually found himself in the situation if indeed that was what was actually happening- but that’s just one of the most subtle insane ways to show jirv’s queerness in the story. and god like he literally grabs his shoulder, not even aggressively, almost like… questioningly? and although it would’ve been easier for him to touch hickey’s shoulder with his gloved right hand, he specifically reaches out to him with his ungloved, bare left hand?? actually i just rewatched it and not only that but he touches his bare shoulder too. wow.

the utter fucking shock on jirv’s face when hickey stabs him and the way he looks up at him through his lashes and reaches one hand up between his legs after he’s fallen back and hickey’s crouching over him? is very crazy and i want to talk about how insanely erotic this scene is another time because that’s a whole thing in and of itself but yeah. (okay it’ll probably come up a little later in this paragraph but i digress). the way jirv struggles so hard to breathe just kills me. and the music- one of his happiest moments sickeningly twisted around his brutal death but also a callback to the inherent sexuality and gayness of the whole thing. jirv spends most of the show directly avoiding contact with hickey, not even eye contact, yet he dies with hickey directly in front of him, penetrating him, covering his mouth, and jirv holds his gaze the entire time. i feel like in a way this symbolically shows that jirv was facing whatever it was inside himself that hickey elicited in his final moments, mixed with the shock and rage that we can see in his face too. at first he leans forward, we can see the anger, then he lies back, accepting, accepting and then the next shot he heaves twice with his whole body trying to fight it but i think this is because this is the moment where hickey finally looks back at him where before he was looking away almost in impatience for it to all be over with. how many times i wonder did they picture each other in these exact positions in a sexual context, only to play it out finally in this moment as jirv dies underneath hickey (much like he might’ve felt like he was doing if he had ever acted on his urges).

and this flashback scene it is everything; it is truly everything to me. we can see in jirv’s face that he can sense almost like a gut feeling that there is something off about hickey but i also think that what he is reacting to the feelings within himself that arise- ugh his little nervous hands, the lower lip falling open as it does with him, the way he looks hickey up and down as hickey does too when jirv walks away- i’m sorry i know this is my solving magnum opus but there was an attraction there- however fucked up and in denial there absolutely was. like the way jirv just walks away without responding too- he was nervous! he didn’t know what to think! this whole expedition for him started and ended with what came to the surface for him with hickey and it’s so so devastating.

anyway rip my beautiful angel jirv i love you forever <3

but i do want to point out a few things from eps 8 and 9 that again i think are important to jirv as a character and his journey- namely the grief that ned and hodge feel for him and a few other things concerning the aftermath of his death:

ugh man… ned and hodge’s grief at jirv’s death gets harder to watch every time- in the tent hodge’s eyes are red from crying and it’s because he had to be the one to bring jirv’s body back, he saw everything that was done to him and he had to be the one to bring him to where he would rest. and edward is trying his best to keep it together for hodge, patting him on the shoulder and backing up his story but once he is out of george’s line of sight we can see him start to cry as well :( they loved him and of course they both blame themselves for what happened to him

okay a few notes about john’s body- in the script it mentions that he is partially scalped and that it looks like someone “got bored” or “lost interest” part way through doing it but what i fully realized here is that jirv’s scalping literally looks like a fucked up halo… and ugh his little cross around his neck.. he looks so tiny idk just like with the goodsir death scene in ep 10 there’s just something so awful about seeing them laid out naked like that when we spend the whole show seeing them bundled up and in uniform. a final stripping of rank and identity.

moving on, and these will be a little rapid fire because i’m mostly trying to document the final movements of jirv’s body and his clothing- the reason collins’ hands are shaking when he goes to the medical tent is because he can see jirv’s bloody clothes folded up on the table across from him - this is from the script: “as he applies the salve, collins’ hands tremble constantly. someone has folded and stacked up lt. irving’s clothes on a table there. collins can see a few knife cuts in the coat.” also jirv’s body is just there in the tent while bridgens and peglar talk about his scurvy.

jirv’s telescope is laying by the netsilik girl when silna goes to adjust her leg…… she was playing with it when she was murdered

i’ve made this post before on its own but it absolutely makes me sick how jirv didn’t even get to keep and take to the grave with him the final kindness that was ever done for him in his life because they had to cut upon his stomach and mutilate him further to learn the truth of his death. and to convince the men who are grieving him most that it was actually hickey that killed him.

when we can hear edward saying terror camp is clear from outside the medical tent, goodsir is finishing up sewing up john’s body again.

the wording when edward is reading out the charges against hickey and sol- when he calls the acts of sedition and mutinous designs “more pernicious” than the act of murdering jirv (and farr but this ain’t about him) it’s just so alarming- the suggestion that stirring up mutiny is worse than brutally murdering your fellow shipmates. i think this just makes the lack of proper mourning for jirv feel even worse

i believe the next time we see his body is when bridgens is trying to protect one of this patients in the medical tent- i don’t think we specifically see it brought out to be burnt with the men who are killed by tuunbaq but i do think that must have been what happened, idk what else they could’ve done at that point. but it makes me sad that we don’t know for certain

but anyway- tozer’s reaction to hearing about how jirv died and seeing the evidence against hickey- i’ll get more into this in my solving post but i think this was the beginning of the end of sol’s faith in hickey

and then at the end we have hickey going to the med tent first, presumably to look for goodsir which is where he finds jirv’s clothes, and takes his coat. i wonder if this was a crime of opportunity or if he was determined to take a trophy from his murder of jirv. i could see it going either way for hickey tbh.

okay and my final little theory i will leave you with- i posted this in the main tag a long time ago when i first got back on tumblr but i didn’t word it very well and i wasn’t very confident in my ability to articulate my thoughts but now y’all are going to hear me lol (that is if you made it this far): in the scene where hickey is talking to hodge about the tins and turning to cannibalism given what they know about them, we can see sol listening closely but not participating in the conversation. and then comes the moment where sol realizes that hickey is wearing jirv’s coat; when the wind blows he can see the stab marks. there isn’t anything said about jirv in this scene, nor his death, but obviously we can see sol starting to creep out of his denial that hickey lied to him and killed one of their fellow crew members. what i can’t stop thinking about though is the context of the conversation in which this discovery takes places- hickey is talking about eating human flesh to live now. the parts of jirv that were cut off- pieces of flesh, his fingers, etc… i really wonder if they were eaten by hickey. he was already thinking about cannibalism before the actual mutiny- he deliberately wanted to bring goodsir and diggle when they split from the group, so i don’t think it’s a huge stretch to believe that he would’ve done that to jirv’s body after mutilating him. and i just don’t think anything in the terror is a coincidence, so the fact that we see sol putting the pieces together of jirv’s death as hickey is talking about cannibalism seems too on the nose to ignore or at least consider but i would love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this!

anyway if you made it to the end of this thank you for reading and for being insane about this stupid little gay freak with me <3 sol deep dive is incoming followed by solving i promise!!!!

#the terror #jirv #john irving #IT’S FINALLY DONE RRRAAHHHHH

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