#there’s being dedicated to your job then there’s this

[certaimromance]

ꫂ ၴႅၴ Tall Child.

Aaron Hotchner x BAU!reader (platonic)

Summary: No matter how hard you try to impress him, Agent Hotchner never seems to be satisfied with your work. And it all comes crashing down when you decide to confront him.

Words: 2,7k.

TW: mentions of crime. reader was injured (nothing serious). angst WITHOUT happy ending. hotch being a father figure. soo much angst (yes, again). father and rebellious daughter type discussion. temporarily located in the first season. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: He is so ❤️‍🔥daddy❤️‍🔥 but also 💔dad💔 for me, okay?

This was painful to write, so I loved it (I literally wrote it with I Bet On Losing Dogs by Mitski in the background).

♡ Enjoy! ♡

Anyone who knows you knows that your lifelong dream was to help make the world a better place.

And from your day one at the BAU, you felt like your wildest dreams had come true. You were saving lives, reassuring victims, and helping to bring to justice those who tormented them so they could never do it to anyone else again. You were making a real difference in the world, even if you weren't the caped superhero you wanted to be as a kid.

But, as they say, nothing's perfect. And your job had more contradictions for your mental and physical health than there were fingers on your hands to count. The long and unstable schedule, the few hours of sleep, nightmares about the atrocities you saw, no social life outside the team...and of course, the constant disappointment you felt from Aaron Hotchner, your boss.

From day one, you had worked tirelessly to prove yourself. You craved the approval of your superiors, the respect of your colleagues. The job was demanding, yes, but you wanted to show that you could not only handle it but thrive under the pressure. And you had earned the trust and admiration of everyone around you, except for him.

Agent Hotchner was an enigma to you. There was something about him that both intrigued and intimidated you. He was always so calm, without showing much emotion, without so much as a smile for you. He was a wall you couldn't break through no matter how hard you tried. You had tried so hard to impress him, to make sure he saw your dedication, your work ethic, but you always seemed to fall short. His approval, or lack thereof, hurt more than anything else. You had gotten used to it by now, but it didn't make it any easier.

And now, here you were, in his office, watching him scrutinize your medical diagnosis. He had just glanced at the report from the doctor that had followed you back from the Utah case. Your shoulder, a minor injury, but one that could’ve been avoided if you hadn’t thrown yourself headfirst into the danger in the way you did.

Finally, after several moments of awkward silence, you dared to speak. “What do you think? I am practically at my best.”

Deep down, you knew you were lying through your teeth and that you were not well with an injured shoulder, a concussion, and several bruises, but you refused to say so out loud. You were a brave girl, and he should know.

Hotch looked up from the report in his hand and stared at you. It was the kind of look that made your hair stand on end and gave you a feeling that something was wrong.

“No, you're not.” He sighs and closes the folder before walking over to the desk you were sitting behind. He leans against it as he looks at you, arms folded across his chest. “You disobeyed a direct order during the case. You abandoned your partner.”

“I didn’t abandon Reid,” you replied, your voice sounding more defensive than you intended. You straightened in your chair, wincing slightly as your shoulder protested the movement. “I simply suggested he wait behind me. And it worked, didn’t it? He saved the victim, and I stopped the unsub.”

Teamwork, as you liked to call it.

“It paid off this time,” he said, his voice low but firm. “But that doesn’t excuse disregarding protocol. You put yourself and your partner in unnecessary danger. That’s not the kind of decision-making we can afford here.”

Oh no, here comes the usual chatter you didn't want to hear this time. Normally, you would be quiet, listening and nodding at his every word, but this time there was something different. You just longed for congratulations. Was it really so difficult for him to tell you once that you did something right?

You stiffened in your chair, the ache in your shoulder suddenly more pronounced. “With all due respect, I evaluated the situation and made a hard decision. I’m not some rookie who doesn’t know how to handle themselves in the field.”

Even as the words came out, you felt very nervous. You didn't know if it was the drugs they gave you in the hospital to fight the pain or if it was just your shyness leaving your body completely for no reason.

“I’m not questioning your skills,” he replied sharply. “But you’re not operating at one hundred percent, and that affects your judgment. You’ve been pushing yourself too hard for months—longer, maybe. And now you’re injured. You need time to recover and think about this.”

God, no.

“I don’t need time; I need to work,” you shot back, frustration lacing your tone. This job was your lifeline, your purpose. Without it, who were you?

“You know we work as a team. A unit. And when one part of the unit breaks down, there are consequences.” His voice wasn’t just firm; it was unyielding, like a warning. The way he said it almost felt like he was speaking to a child—a reprimand you didn’t want but knew you had earned. “No one is above the team, not even you.”

You didn't know if it was the way he said it or the words he used, but it was like the straw that broke the camel's back, and you were tired of putting up with the situation. This was the first time you had made a decision on your own, the first time you had not discussed your ideas with the team only to have them ignored and then spoken louder by someone else. Finally, you had acted, and even that was wrong.

You were tired, fucking tired of being ignored and judged much more harshly than the rest.

A bitter laugh escaped your lips, barely audible but heavy with frustration. The ache in your shoulder seemed to flare as if your body was responding to the tension in the room. “And what consequences are you thinking of, sir?” you asked, your voice dripping with sarcasm. There was no hiding the venom now. “What’s worse than not being valued even when I do my job?”

His gaze turned hard as if your tone had cut him deeper than any physical injury could. He didn’t take kindly to disrespect, especially from someone who had otherwise followed his orders without question. You saw the shift in him, the quiet fury simmering beneath his usually controlled exterior. If you were anyone else, the conversation would have already escalated. But you weren’t anyone else. You were someone he knew far too well.

“Don’t use that tone with me,” he bit back, his voice low and steady but carrying a weight that made your stomach twist. There was no mistake now—this wasn’t just about the case. This was more personal. “You are suspended. Your gun and badge on the table. Now.”

Oh, oh, oh.

The words hung in the air between you like a guillotine, sudden and final. The room seemed to close in on you, the breath in your chest catching in surprise. You didn’t know if it was the shock or the disbelief, but your mind struggled to grasp the magnitude of his command. Suspended? Your world was spinning.

You opened your mouth to speak, to argue, but the words caught in your throat, leaving you with nothing but a hollow sound of confusion. “What? Why?”

“Agent, you disobeyed a direct order and endangered yourself and your partner,” he said firmly. “I don’t take your actions lightly. Suspension is not a punishment—it’s a consequence. You need time to heal, both physically and mentally.”

The idea of being sidelined was incomprehensible. The thought of doing nothing—being stuck in your apartment, forced to be still—felt suffocating. No. You couldn’t accept it.

“This is ridiculous. I did my job! I stopped the unsub! Reid saved the victim because I made the right choice!”

You saved a life, even if it meant risking a little of your own. You did save it.

“And what happens next time?” Hotch shot back, his voice rising slightly. “What happens if your judgment falters again because you’re running on empty? What if next time, it’s Reid who doesn’t come back?”

Then, silence.

The thought of Spencer getting hurt turned your stomach and made you question your actions. If anything happened to him, you would never forgive yourself…His life did matter, a lot.

“Gun. Badge. Now.” Your boss talks again. He gestured toward the desk.

Your fingers trembled, betraying you as you reached for the gun on your hip. The cool metal felt foreign in your hands, like something that had never truly belonged to you. Your mind screamed for you to stop, to stand your ground, to fight this. But your body, exhausted and broken, refused to cooperate.

You opened your mouth to speak, but your voice cracked before you could get the words out. “I…I didn’t mean…I just…”

Finally, with a shaky breath, you placed your gun on the desk. The thud it made as it landed felt like the sound of everything you had worked for being shattered in front of you. You could feel the sting of unshed tears burning in your eyes, but you wouldn’t let them fall. Not here. Not in front of him.

It didn’t matter what you said. It never seemed to matter, not with him. You had tried so hard to be the one who did everything right, to be the one he could rely on, and yet all you had earned was this—this cold, final judgment. He wasn’t just your boss in that moment; he was the embodiment of everything you had tried to prove yourself against. A reminder that, no matter what you did, it still wasn’t enough.

The words spilled from your mouth before you could stop them, the bitter taste of them already familiar. “You think I’m weak, don’t you?” The tone you had intended to be defiant came out more like a desperate plea. “You think I can’t handle this, that I’m just some liability?”

He didn’t flinch at your outburst. His gaze softened, but just barely. “No,” he said, his voice surprisingly gentle but firm. “I think you’re pushing yourself too hard. You’re not weak. But you’re hurting, and I can see it. You need time to recover.”

The words hit you like a slap, unexpected and unwelcome. You shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips as you tried to fight back the burning in your chest. You refused to let the tears well up, to let them gather where he could see them. Not here. Not now. Please, not now.

“I don’t need time,” you said, your voice sharp, biting. But underneath the defiance was something raw and desperate, a quiet plea that you couldn’t fully suppress. “I need to be here. I need to do my job. I need to save lives.”

The last part came out as a whisper, as though saying it too loudly would shatter the fragile conviction you had left. You felt like you were slipping, like the ground beneath you was crumbling, and all you could do was cling to this one thing—the job. The only thing that made you feel like you mattered.

“The only life you need to save now is yours,” he said, his voice quieter but still heavy with authority.

You froze, the weight of his words pressing down on you like a crushing tide. Your stomach churned, and you fought to keep your composure, to keep from lashing out, even though every part of you wanted to scream. He didn’t understand. He couldn’t.

A bitter, trembling laugh bubbled up from your throat, unbidden and full of venom. “If it had been Reid or Morgan, you wouldn’t be doing this,” you snapped, the accusation like a raw wound exposed to the open air.

For the first time, something flickered in his eyes—anger, hurt, or something you couldn’t quite place. His jaw tightened, his posture stiffening, and when he spoke, his voice was sharper than before, each word deliberate and cutting.

“No,” he said, the firmness in his tone slicing through the room like a blade. “Because they would never have done this.”

The silence that followed was deafening. It slammed into you like a tidal wave, drowning out every other sound. His words rang in your ears, echoing in the hollow space left behind by your crumbling defenses.

They would never have done this.

Your chest tightened, a deep ache settling in your ribs, and for a moment, you felt like you couldn’t breathe. The accusation hung in the air, heavy and unforgiving. He wasn’t just saying you’d made a mistake—he was saying you were the mistake. That you weren’t good enough. That you never would be.

“Is this because I’m a woman?” you asked, the words coming out sharper than you intended. There was a bitter edge to them, a question that had been gnawing at you for far too long. “Because Elle is too, and even she has more, or is it because of my age? Reid is younger, and you never doubt him.”

“It’s not about any of that,” he said finally, his voice low and tight. But it wasn’t reassuring. It only sounded like an evasion, like he was brushing your concerns aside, and it made your chest ache all over again. “It’s not about your gender or your age.”

“It’s about me,” you said, the words like glass shards scraping at your insides. “It’s about how you don’t trust me.”

For the first time, you saw a flicker of something in his eyes—something almost like guilt, but it was fleeting, disappearing as quickly as it had appeared. He opened his mouth, but the words he spoke next were measured, controlled. Too controlled.

“No,” he said, his voice so steady it almost hurt. “That’s not it.”

You stared at him, heart racing, hands trembling, as the truth wrapped around you tighter than you ever thought possible. His words weren’t just dismissing your feelings—they were rejecting everything you had ever believed about your worth, about why you were here, in this moment, fighting so desperately for something you couldn’t even name.

But this time, it was different. You weren’t going to back down. Not anymore.

“Then what is it?” You whispered, voice breaking, tears finally threatening to spill. “What is it, Hotch? What is it about me that isn’t enough?”

“It’s not about you,” he said, but his voice lacked the certainty it usually held. “It’s not about trusting you…It’s about protecting you.” His gaze softened just enough for you to notice, but it only made the pain worse. “I can’t lose…I can’t let you lose yourself.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You were trembling, your pulse racing in your ears, but now there was only a terrible stillness. You swallowed, trying to push down the bitterness that rose up in your throat.

“You don’t get to make decisions for me,” you snapped, barely holding back the frustration that bubbled to the surface. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. You don’t get to act like you’re my father, making me follow some imaginary line, keeping me under your control. If you want to raise someone, you already have a baby at home.”

The moment the words left your lips, you saw it—just the faintest flicker of hurt in his eyes. The barest flinch. But it was enough to make you feel the weight of your accusation like a stone, sinking into your chest. The silence that followed was thick with it, suffocating, and you could feel the air growing heavier between you.

“I’m not your dad,” he said, the words low, the icy calm of his voice unmistakable. There was no anger in it, just a hollow, painful truth. But the sting of it was sharp enough to leave a mark.

You blinked, the sharpness of his response cutting through you like a blade. You wanted to fight back, to lash out with everything you had, but something stopped you. Instead, your voice came out quieter, almost hollow as you whispered, “I know…Do you know that?”

And then, just like that, you turned away, your breath ragged in your chest. You didn’t wait for his answer, didn’t wait for anything. You couldn’t stand the ache that had taken root in your chest, the fear that had begun to take shape in the corners of your mind.

And the door slammed behind you.

[httpsnali]

WEALTHY CHARADE

CHAPTER FIVE: Sacrifice

✬ Pairing: Park Sunghoon x Female Reader

✬ Genre: strangers/enemies to lovers!AU, angst!romance

✬ Synopsis: Forced into a union that promises more complications than peace, you must confront the ghosts of the past and decide if you will bend under the weight of family duty or carve out your own path.

✬ CW: toxic parenting, mild depictions of anger, y/n is really emotional, mild descriptions of anxiety, y/n is a mess

✬ WC: 7.6k

Sunghoon was exceptionally tired. Tired was an understatement. He was exhausted. He had spent the entire day responding to emails and rescheduling his appointments, and was now on his way to the dinner that his father had so frustratingly withheld the details of.  

His friends had expressed their concerns, and Jay had gone as far as threatening to lock Sunghoon in his apartment if he didn’t set aside some time to take a break. Sunghoon suspected they weren’t wrong. When his friends would nag at him concerning his work habits, he would brush it off like it was some playful concern. While he appreciated their sentiments, he knew he had no choice.

He wasn’t kidding when he told Jungwon that he was the backbone of the entire corporation. His father did a good job of being the face of the company, however, he was the one who handled everything behind the scenes. He secured deals with investors, both overseas and locally, sat in directors’ meetings and made sure that they were all in line and made sure to keep up appearances in public. He kept PTC afloat. He wasn’t CEO or anything, his father still held that title, but he might as well have been. He had done well to gain the trust of the directors and knew how employees would whisper in the breakrooms about his incredible dedication and contribution to the company. Sunghoon led the company because no one else could.

The man sitting quietly beside him as they drove to this mysterious dinner, whom he referred to plainly as Mr. Park, was as lousy a businessman as he was a father. Sunghoon regarded him with thinly veiled disdain. From as early as he could remember, his father only saw him as someone he could use to handle his affairs while he went about kicking back enjoying his wealth. Mr. Park would rather spend his time hunting or golfing with stepmom of the month, leaving his responsibilities to his son. The thought made him sneer but he was way past giving his father any kind of reaction.

The silence stretched until his father, staring out at the passing cityscape, finally spoke. “How are things at the company?”

Sunghoon let his father’s question linger for a moment before responding, “Fine.”

There was a pause, then silence befell them once more. Minutes later, Sunghoon’s phone buzzed with a text. He mentally cursed himself for not silencing his phone earlier only to see it was a text from Jungwon. He wasn’t sure how to feel about him still working despite him giving his cousin the rest of the day off. He didn’t linger on it for too long since it would be like the pot calling the kettle black. Jungwon was just as much of a workaholic as him, but he was in no position to say anything about it.

Jungwon: Hi Boss, I know you are at dinner with your father, but I looked into the joint venture rumors with AhnPharma. The media outlet confirmed that their source was credible. Although they didn’t disclose who it was, they said it was from one of the higher ups at PTC.

Sunghoon could feel a migraine coming in. Higher ups at PTC? What were they talking about? No one bypassed him on major company decisions, let alone something as big as a venture rumor, yet he knew nothing about this. Did someone skip protocol and release false information to the public? Unless…

He turned to his father, his suspicion growing.

“Is there something I should know about?” Sunghoon demanded.

“In regard to what?” Mr. Park replied, unfazed.

“Well, for starters, this dinner,” said Sunghoon. “You have given me no details about who we are meeting except that they are old friends of yours. I think I deserve to know more than that.”

Mr. Park scoffed and turned to face his son for the first time since they got into the car.

“It’s easy to believe we deserve things when we have done nothing to merit them.”

Sunghoon arched his brow slightly, already starting to get irritated. “I don’t have time for your word games. Just tell me who we are meeting and while you do that, tell me why I am seeing stories on talks about a joint venture with AhnPharma. Did you know about this?”

“Yes, I did.” Mr. Park admitted without sparing a beat.

Sunghoon pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to contain his frustration, “Why wasn’t I informed about this, since when did you approve of this?”

“Not too long ago, about a month or so.” His father responded casually.

“Why wasn’t I told about this?” Sunghoon took a deep breath, to avoid giving his father the satisfaction of seeing him upset. “How could you agree to this without running it through me first?”

Mr. Park gave an arrogant smirk, “I am running it through you. This dinner.”

“What do you mean? Are we having dinner with people from AhnPharma?” Sunghoon narrowed his eyes, glancing sideways towards his father.

“Just to finalize some details. Shouldn’t take too long.”

Sunghoon didn’t know what was more frustrating about this; his father’s nonchalant tone, or the fact that they were in the finalizing stage of a deal he knew nothing about. His thick brows knitted together in a frown, “This makes absolutely no sense. Why would you agree to this?”

His father looked away and stroked his jaw, ignoring the urgency in Sunghoon’s tone. The car came to a stop signaling their arrival. Sunghoon looked out the window recognizing the neatly kept estate of the Ahn family. He recalls attending a gala dinner with his father years ago, but the memory was too hazy and insignificant to remember much of.

“These are old friends of mine,” Mr. Park explained, “I am just doing them a favor.”

“I didn’t think you had any friends,” Sunghoon said sarcastically. “I can’t help but to wonder if you have a different motive.”

“You always expect the worst from me, Sunghoon.” He accused in a honeyed tone.

“Old habits die hard, I guess,” he pocketed his phone and clutched the car door handle. “And anyway, the company can’t go into a joint venture right now, so I guess the only thing we will be finalizing tonight is the fact that this deal is over.”

Mr. Park grasped his shoulder which made Sunghoon flinch slightly. “I gave them my word. We can’t back out now.”

“I don’t care about your word,” Sunghoon shrugged his father’s hand off his shoulder. “Don’t go making promises that you can’t keep. I am the one who gets to decide what is good for this company and what isn’t. You haven’t set foot in that building in thirteen months, you don’t know how things work around here. What makes you think that you can go around making decisions for this company when you don’t even know the people who work there?” he closed his eyes briefly, “Do you realize that a joint venture means we would have to lay off nearly half of our employees? Have you considered that these are people with families to take care of? And what about new policies that they would have to adapt to? Did you consider that at all?”

Sunghoon pressed his lips into a thin line. He needed to keep himself in check. There was no use getting angry over a deal that he was not going to allow to go through. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Look, whatever reason you had for making this deal, I’m sure was…noble.” He said hesitantly after noticing his father’s sullen expression. “However, I’m afraid it’s come in too soon and we can’t handle this right now.”

Mr. Park cleared his throat and adjusted his collar. Sunghoon made a good point. He was so caught up in trying to do a good thing for his friend that he forgot to factor in the people that would be involved.

“Still, we should have dinner with them. Hear them out first, you might reconsider.” He concluded before stepping out of the vehicle.

«

You had just put the final touches into your look for tonight when a soft knock was heard on your door. Thinking it was one of the maidservants coming to assist you, you asked them to come in without glancing at the door. The sound of heels clicking made you look up to see your mother walk in and shut the door behind her. You stood up quickly unsure of yourself. This was the first time in a very long time that she had been in your room. It was an odd sight, nevertheless, you greeted her hesitantly.

“Good, you’re already dressed,” she said, dismissing your greeting entirely. She scrutinized you, looking for noticeable flaws before she approached your vanity and selected a pair of diamond earrings from among your jewelry. “These look better, and get rid of the pearls, they age you up.”

You followed her instructions, hands trembling slightly as you switched the dangling earrings you had on before for the plain but simple diamond studs. With a strut, she walked to the windows gazing out at the lush green gardens. Your mother was a picture of poise and elegance. She wore a perfectly tailored tweed set and had her hair pinned up into a classic French bun. She let out a soft sigh before she turned back to look at you, now having put the earrings on.

“Those earrings were a gift from my father,” she started. “I never got to wear them much, didn’t think they suited me.”

Your fingers flew to your ears as if on instinct and your heart started to beat fast. You realized you were nervous. Your mother was actually holding a conversation with you, and she was being…warm? You weren’t sure how to respond, afraid that anything you said could be used as a point for criticism from her.

“They are beautiful,” You settle on simply stating the obvious. You cleared your throat softly before adding, “are we celebrating tonight?”

Your mother observed you inquisitively, not giving much away with her unreadable expression. Part of you wanted to believe what Aeri said about things starting to look up, that maybe this was your welcome dinner and that they were finally going to admit they missed you through their actions. That maybe distance did indeed make the heart fonder, and your parents had missed you terribly and that just because they were not good with their words didn’t mean they couldn’t show you.

Your mother glanced down at her skirt, brushing away some imaginary lint before she took a step toward you. Still keeping her distance, she clasped her hands in front of her.

“Y/n,” she said, “we’ve decided something important for you. It’s time you stepped up and did your part for the family.”

You held your breath in anticipation as though bracing yourself for impact. You were not sure what had prompted you to act this way, but you didn’t like the sound of it, so your heart sank.

“You know how important family is, don’t you?” she asserted, and you swallowed.

“We’re at a stage where big decisions have started to come into play, and an opportunity has come up for us. You know your father and I have always worked so hard for this family. And sometimes…well, sometimes sacrifices are necessary.”

Her tone was curt and cold. All of a sudden, the room felt smaller, and the air felt thicker. You willed yourself to calm down and stop overreacting because you had no reason to. Still, you suspected that she was about to drop something on you.

“Sacrifices? What are you talking about?” You winced slightly as your hand instinctively rose to your neck, fingers searching for the pendant you always played with in moments like this. Disappointed to only find bare skin your hand lowered, lightly brushing over your collarbone instead.

“It’s about the future. Your future. And the company’s future. This is bigger than just you.” She raised her chin, her tone firm.

“What is bigger than me? What are you not saying?" you pleaded anxiously. Why couldn’t she just get to the point? She sighed deeply glancing toward the door as if wishing she would rather be anywhere else than here, having this conversation with you.

“The company hasn’t been doing so well, and a year from now, we could be on our way to bankruptcy,” she paced the floor cautiously with a solemn expression on her face, “We haven’t been able to acquire new investors for some of our trials and are slowly losing the trust of the ones we have. Two have pulled out already in the past six months, and if others get a whiff of this…well, it could be disastrous for us.”

“Okay, that sounds really unfortunate. But what does that have to do with me?” you ask as she takes a seat on the little bench at the foot of your bed. She arched her brow and scoffed lightly glancing at you for a moment.

“We’ve come to agreement with the Park family. Our investors need a solid succession plan and their son is…he’s an excellent match.”

You stare at her in shock, refusing to believe the words currently coming out of her mouth. There was only one way the Park son could be a successor of the company.

“You don’t mean…” it comes out in a mumble as this gnawing feeling begins to grow in your gut. You grab onto your vanity, leaning on it for support. Your mother avoids your gaze and glances at the door again.

“This is about stability, Y/n. Think about our family’s legacy.” She is defensive and trying to prove her point but all you are wondering is why breathing suddenly feels so hard to do.

“Are you serious?” it takes everything in you to make your voice sound stable and clear, “you’re marrying me off like some business deal?”

“This is not just a business deal. It’s an investment. You stand to benefit from this too!”

Something flips inside you and you’re furious now, “Benefit? How? By being a pawn in your plans? Did you even consider asking me about it? Did you think about what I want?”

The notion of arranged marriages wasn’t new to your family. Your parents’ marriage had been an arranged one. Still, you had expected them to want different for their children. Times had changed. Even if they had still insisted on an arranged marriage, you had expected to at least have the freedom of choice when it came to selecting who you would marry. You didn’t consider yourself reckless and irresponsible when it came to your choice of boyfriends. Granted, you didn’t have that much experience in dating, and most of your past relationships were short-lived, but they were all good people. You were able to choose someone good enough on your own.

“We know this is sudden, but you’ll come to see this as the best for everyone. Sometimes we have to put the family first.”

“No, you decided to put the company first,” Tears began welling up in your eyes. You felt utterly betrayed, unheard and alone, “You never cared about what I wanted. I can’t believe you’d do this to me!”

“Enough!” she snapped and stood up, “It’s already decided. The sooner you accept it, the better.”

It then hits you like a freight train. This whole evening, the dress, the jewelry. They were getting you ready to present you to your so-called future husband. You had walked into their trap without even knowing. You now felt stupid in that dress. You hated it. You hated yourself even more for having a sliver of hope that your parents actually cared about you. You didn’t want to go to that stupid dinner.

“Don’t make this difficult, Y/n. You know how much we’ve done for you,” she bores her gaze into you and takes an unwavering step forward. She tilts her head to the side ever so slightly in a way that makes you shrink back in shame, “You know how much you owe us. It’s time to repay by being useful, don’t you think?”

A shiver runs down your spine as goosebumps rise all over your skin. You swallow, hard and break away from your mother’s gaze. Your palms feel clammy as you dig your fingernails into them. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. You clench your fists harder to distract you from the pain you feel elsewhere.

Your mother seems to take pleasure in your reaction. Or distaste over it. Either way, she finally makes her leave but not before telling you to fix yourself up as the guests should be arriving soon. It was only after she shut the door behind her on the way out that you gasped for air releasing the breath you didn’t even realize you had been holding.

You collapsed to your knees on the floor and began to sob. Once the tears began to flow, you couldn’t stop them. You hated this. You hated this so much. You wanted to scream for help, but you knew no one would come to your rescue. It felt worse to know that your mother was right about you owing them. Technically, they were in this position because of you. This was your karma. You deserved to be treated this way; still, it stung like hell.

You squeezed your eyes shut and took big breaths to calm yourself. Straightening back up, you reached for a tissue on your vanity and blew your nose and wiped your tears. You weren’t going to go along with this, you decided. Whoever this guy was, you were going to make him realize just how big of a mistake he would be making to be marrying into this family. You were going to make him run for the hills terrified.

Oh, who were you kidding? There was nothing you could do to undo this. Your mother was very clear that their decision was final. And the part of you that loved to punish yourself suspected that this was the universe’s way of making you pay for your actions. You had lost the resolve to fight years ago when you left this place.

You lifted yourself off the ground and onto your chair. Your makeup was ruined, and your eyes were red. You fixed yourself up really quickly, occasionally hiccupping and tearing up. In the end, you decided to let your hair down to hide your flushed skin. After making sure there were no remnants of your little outburst, you stood up and made your way to the dining room.

«

Sunghoon was reminded of just how much he couldn’t remember this place the moment they entered the foyer. The room looked foreign. The interior design leaned toward vintage with various art pieces on the walls and placed strategically in the corners. It was evident that the owners of this house had a taste for art and finery—he could see why they were friends with his father. An expensive looking Persian rug stretched over the floor and up the staircase, seamlessly uniting the place. Seconds later, a man who looked to be in his late 50s came in through one of the doors.

“Jihoo!” the man greeted boisterously. He gave Mr. Park a fierce hug like they hadn’t seen each other in years.

“Hyung‑nim!” Sunghoon’s father responded, “it’s been a while. How are things going?”

“How many times have a I told you to stop calling me that, you’ll make me seem older than I actually am!” he let out a thundering laugh giving Sunghoon’s father a firm pat on the back. “I’m so glad good to see you in person, Jihoo. We’re so used to seeing just your face through a screen,” he paused and took a step back to study him, “Have you lost weight?” he joked.

The two exploded in laughter and it felt odd for Sunghoon to see his father be so likable to someone. He noted how the man mentioned seeing his father through a screen. The two must have been in contact for a while, discussing the details of this business deal. He silently hoped this wouldn’t complicate things too much when he inevitably declined it. The man finally seemed to notice there was a third person in the room when Sunghoon shifted his weight.

“This must be Sunghoon,” the man said addressing him directly. He bowed politely then shook his outstretched hand. The man’s grip was firm and steady.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“Sir?” the man repeated, “what’s with all the formalities tonight, eh?” he chuckled.

“We are quite tired,” Mr. Park explained, “the drive from the city was a long one. Hey, why did you have to live so far away? Why can't you get a town house like a normal person?”

The man pocketed his hands and stood up straight. He had an air of confidence and entitlement around him as he said, “The city is way too crowded, and my wife can’t stand the pollution.”

Sunghoon resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He hated entitled people. They were the worst sort to go into business with. They would never agree to compromise and always had unrealistically high expectations. Still, he let out a light chuckle to be polite.

“Come though, you must be exhausted.” The man directed the two gents into another room that he could only describe as a waiting room. Similar art pieces were placed around the room while the walls were lined with shelves of different sized books and other vintage looking clutter. The man encouraged the two to take a seat while he walked to the mini bar in the corner and offered them a drink. Sunghoon was more of a cognac guy nevertheless he accepted the glass of whiskey. From the first sip alone, he could tell that wasn’t any cheap liquor.

“So Sunghoon,” the man started once he had sat down as well. He chose the single armchair across from where he and his father were sat, as though choosing to purposely single himself out. “How are things at Park Tech? You father tells me business is going well.”

Sunghoon sat up straight. It was now time to get into business, he didn’t enjoy beating around the bush and believed in tackling his problems head on.

“Things are going quite well. The company’s latest software release exceeded sales expectations and investors are more than pleased with the rise in quarterly earnings. Updates in the weekly board meetings are nothing but good news.”

The man nodded slowly, evidently impressed. Sunghoon felt a twinge of pride. He knew that his efforts did not go to waste, even if they did sometimes take a toll on his personal life.

“I like the sound of that,” said the man then he nodded to Mr. Park, “some talented kid you’ve got here.

“I agree, I wouldn’t have trusted PTC to anyone else. No one knows how to run the company like he does.”

“Which is why he is the perfect man for the job.” The man leaned back into his chair, taking a sip from his glass with a knowing smirk.

Sunghoon took a sip from his glass as well and shifted uncomfortably. He relished the burn of the amber liquid as it slid down his throat.

“Tell me, have you two discussed the details or our arrangement? I’m open to hearing your opinion…or any recommendations.” He laughed in a very businesslike manner that held no real delight in his voice.

His father beat him to it before he could answer. “No, but that’s what we’re here for, isn’t it? I thought Sunghoon should hear it from you first, then we will decide on the way forward.”

“Decide on the way forward? What do you mean, man? The decision was already made, was it not?”

This time, it was Sunghoon to interrupt his father. “With all due respect, sir, the announcement of this venture came quite unexpectedly,” he glanced sideways at his father, “so we have not been able to make the proper arrangements to accommodate it. Especially around this time of year. We have not allocated resources for growth or diversification.”

The man set his glass aside and leaned forward. “But based on your mid-year performance reviews, you seem to be doing well enough to pivot your strategies a little. And who knows, this could boost profitability before year-end.”

Did he know about their current performance? How much had his father divulged to him already? Sure, they were exceeding performance expectations, but they had already used the surplus funds to invest in new hires. They would have to go back to the drawing board and create a fresh budget, and possibly hold back on a few product launches. It was too much, and too soon, and he didn’t understand how he was expected to just say yes.

“What do you know about AhnPharma, boy?” the man questioned. Sunghoon hated the way the word boy sounded on his lips; almost demeaning.

“Aside from what’s common knowledge, I don’t know much, I’m afraid.” Sunghoon admitted sheepishly. He felt so unprepared for this. Had he known sooner, he would have studied more about AhnPharma which would have given him a broader idea of what they were getting into.

The man stood and walked towards a large painting that Sunghoon now realized was of his family. He recognized the man, who sat next to a poised woman who he assumed was his wife. In front of them stood two children: a boy and a girl. They both had similar features, but the boy seemed to be a year or two older than the girl. The painting was done years ago, the man before him currently looked older, grayer. Everything about him felt calculated. Even the way he slowly paced the room as if deciding on the best approach to take with this. Sunghoon wondered if he approached everything in his life in the same manner.

“The company was first started by my great grandfather in the 1920s. He discovered that by mixing and using simple herbs, one could cure different diseases. Together with his brothers, they were able to provide healing salves and medicine to the poor people who were not able to afford professional aid from the hospital at that time. By the time the Korean War broke out, they had already made a name for themselves in medicine and even provided our troops with aid.” He paused and now looked directly at the two and offered a tight-lipped smile.

“I’m not going to go into heavy detail, lest I bore you…”

“You could never bore us…” Mr. Park offered pathetically.

The man gave Sunghoon’s father a brief glance before fixing his gaze back on him, as if knowing where the true power to make the decision lay, and that it lay with him, not his father.

“My point is this; AhnPharma has always been the people’s favorite. We provide the best kind of medical aid to the people of this country and aside from that, we have some of the best investors lined up to support our work.” He sighed and stroked his beard, appearing to be deep in thought. “However, of late, we have started to lose the trust of some of them,” he continued before muttering an insult under his breath. “They believe that they should only invest in something if that thing is guaranteed to be profitable long-term.”

Sunghoon carefully took in his words. He was slowly starting to understand what the man was trying to say.

“So let me get this straight,” Sunghoon started. His glass, which he abandoned long ago, sat on the small table before him. He didn’t like drinking when talking business. “You are essentially looking for investors? You need money?”

Something flashed in the man’s eyes but then it was gone in an instant. He felt his father tense up beside him.

“Well, if you put it like that it makes us look like we’re begging!” He laughed but no one laughed with him. “What we need is something more long-term–”

He is cut off by a soft knock on the door. A servant came in and after bowing announced that dinner was served. He thanked her before she scurried away, looking obviously irritated at having been interrupted.

“Well, we will have to continue this conversation in the next room. My wife hates tardiness.” He says as he stands. They all stood up with him and made their way to the dining room. If money was all he needed, why didn’t he just tell his father that? Why did they need to go into a joint venture? PTC could just invest, that wasn’t so hard to do. He made a mental note to ask Jungwon to see if it was plausible, in the coming week.

They came back into the foyer, and he saw the man’s wife coming down the stairs with a practiced smile on her face. Then, his eyes fixed on you, who was just a step behind her, with your eyes downcast. He immediately recognized you from the painting. You had the same adorable nose and seemed to have grown into your other features. Your hair flowed angelically down your back and the dress you wore hugged your curves so perfectly, he felt his jaw go slack for a second. His face lit up for a second before sensing your sullen mood, then his expression dulled.

Your mother had given you a stern look for choosing to wear your hair down. She hadn’t approved of that; she had started to say. But before she could get a word out, you heard voices coming from the bottom of the staircase. She quickly plastered her welcoming expression and descended to greet them. You followed suit with a solemn expression on your face. Your appetite was long gone, and you could feel yourself starting to give out internally.

“Darling,” your father greeted. You couldn’t stand to see him right now, still bitter that he didn’t consider telling you of his plans to sell you off. “I believe you know Park Jihoo.”

Your mother stretched out her hand for Mr. Park to take. He stepped closer and bowed slightly before reaching for her hand. He brought her hand to his lips, brushing a brief, almost ceremonious kiss against her knuckles—a gesture that felt both old-fashioned and deliberate.

“So, you’re the man that’s been keeping my husband locked in his office at odd hours in the night?” She giggled.

“I apologize, time difference is the one thing I’m afraid I cannot control,” he pauses briefly and takes notice of you “And this must be your daughter. My, what a striking resemblance to you Mrs. Ahn.” He remarked.

“Please, call me Hye Sook.” Your mother chuckled giving him a playful shove.

“Y/n,” said your father, “be respectful and greet our guests.” His tone was firm and commanding. You stepped forward, greeted them and introduced yourself. Sunghoon noticed your forced smile and how you closed off you were being. He also took note of your red rimmed eyes and slightly puffy face. Had you been crying? The evening was proving to be quite strange, if he was being honest. He couldn’t wait to get home after this. Your mother directed your little group to the dining room. Your father walked in step with Mr. Park and spoke to him in a low tone while gesticulating vehemently. This left you with who you assumed was Mr. Park’s son.

The two of you remained silent for a beat while you wondered to yourself why you didn’t just follow your family to the dining room, and why your feet still seemed rooted to the ground even despite thinking this. The tension was so thick and awkward. Sunghoon was the one to break it.

“Y/n, right?” He stretched out his hand which you took albeit hesitantly. “Sunghoon. Just realized I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself,” he chuckled. You must have been around his age. And while he wasn’t exactly on the hunt for new friends, it wouldn’t kill him to be friendly.

It didn’t work. You didn’t even smirk. It was obvious that there was something going on with you, but it felt out of his place to ask. But the way in which you now looked up at him with your round eyes made you look so vulnerable and docile. In a way, it made him squirm in fear that he might spill his darkest secrets if you asked him to. You were small in comparison to his height, so he still towered over you. His breath began to hitch as you blinked slowly, scrutinizing his features.

He was handsome, you could give him that. He had good bone structure and nice teeth which you took note of when he spoke. His hand felt slightly rough to the touch but not too much, an indication that he probably used them a lot. He had very faint eyebags around his eyes. Did he not get enough sleep? His gaze was sharp, and you cocked your head to the side as you lowered your eyes to his lips which parted slightly. You caught a whiff of cologne and whiskey from him. You were studying him, which made Sunghoon uncomfortable. His face contorted and his expression visibly hardened. He cleared his throat and spoke again.

“Uh…maybe we should follow after them.” He stepped back and towards the direction your parents had gone. You quickly fell into step with him as you both made your way. What the hell was that? Why did she look at me like that? What is wrong with this family? He racked his brain and wondered if he was missing something. He then concluded that he was either just exhausted or that there was something strange going on. The sound of voices of laughter poured out of the room and everyone seemed to be in high spirits. You followed behind Sunghoon and went to find your seat. Your parents were opening a bottle of champagne clearly in a celebratory mood. Again, you felt betrayed by their lack of empathy. You quickly shoved your feelings aside, deciding to pull yourself together. You sat in your usual seat only for your mother to tell you that you would be sitting on the opposite side of the table tonight, which put you on Sunghoon’s left while your father sat on his right.

Dinner went by fairly smoothly and by the time you were done with the entrée, your parents had managed to turn almost every conversation topic into talking about you and your achievements and talents. You didn’t even know they knew you like that. It was clear that they were trying to show you off to Sunghoon, to make him realize what a ‘catch’ you were. It was utterly humiliating to sit there and listen to them talk about you like that. Like they were describing the specs of a product to an interested customer.

While he appreciated the gesture that the Ahn’s were making, for whatever reason, Sunghoon was eager to continue his conversation with Mr. Ahn. The three parents were consuming the champagne at an alarming rate which made him anxious. He did not want to continue this conversation another time, or worse, have to come here again. They were now laughing over something his father had said, and he took that opportunity to bring them back to business discussions.

“Mr. Ahn,” he interrupted, tone clipped, “I believe we were in the middle of discussing how we at PTC can help you out of your predicament. I still have a lot of questions.” All attention shifted to Sunghoon, but he did not waver. Business was business after all, and he wanted it to be treated as such. They were behaving in a way that made him feel crazy for being the only one to want to take this seriously. You held your breath and took a sip of your water. Your father’s cheerful expression slowly fell, and he set down his glass with a chuckle.

 “Ah, always straight to the point,” he gave a slow nod, “I admire that. But tonight, it’s less about business and more about celebrating what’s to come.”

Sunghoon frowned and glanced around the table. “Celebrating? What exactly are we celebrating? Nothing’s been finalized yet.” His posture was rigid, with a tightness to it, like he was holding back from speaking his real thoughts.

“Oh, but it has, son,” Mr. Ahn retorted with an almost patronizing smile. “There’s more to this than just contracts and plans.”

You glanced sideways at the man seated beside you. His eyes narrowed and the cords of his neck became rigid. He was clearly not having it, and you had to give it to him for displaying such control. Your stomach tightened and churned in anticipation.

“Then perhaps you would like to explain, because I don’t recall to agreeing to anything yet.” Sunghoon continued.

The older man leaned forward, his elbows on the table. “You see,” he spoke as if recounting a fond memory, “your father and I have been connected for years—through friendship, through shared values. And when my company began facing some…challenges we knew we needed a solution that went beyond mere collaboration.”

“What kind of ‘solution’ are we talking about?” his voice was sharp. His forehead creased as he gazed at the man before him. Out of his periphery, he felt you shift beside him. He heard your breath hitch as though bracing yourself. Mr. Ahn gestured between him and you, and he felt his stomach drop.

“You and my daughter. A union that ensures not just our company’s safety but the strengthening of both our families’ legacies.”

You wanted to collapse. You fixed your gaze firmly on the tablecloth before you, not daring to look at Sunghoon who had turned to see your reaction. You hated every single moment of this. You felt helpless and defeated. This is my fault. This never would have happened if it weren’t for me. This is my karma.

Sunghoon turned back to the man with a scoff, “You’re joking.” He stated simply. He was either joking or just plain crazy. This whole family is full of retards.

Your father reached back for his glass an air of calmness around him. He was being very casual about this like he just successfully bargained on a pair of vintage shoes. “It’s already been agreed upon, young man,” he declared, “There’s a binding contract, with penalties for breach—20 billion won to be exact. The contract has already been signed…”

“Woah, wait a minute,” his voice was now rising, “what contract? You signed a contract? Without telling me? Without my consent?” He was speaking directly to his father now, enraged at this revelation.

It took you by surprise as well. Your mother hadn’t mentioned anything about a contract. Disdain with a mix of betrayal began to fill you. You glanced at your mother only to find her wearing an unimpressed expression as if she was bored by the topic of conversation.

“Now, now, let’s not overreact,” Mr. Park tried to calm his son down, “this is a strategic decision, one that benefits us all.”

You flinched as Sunghoon’s chair loudly scraped the floor as he stood abruptly. His anger bubbled over as he addressed his father. “Benefit? Who?” he turned to your father, “This only benefits you. Your company is failing, isn’t it? And this is your way of saving it—selling your daughter off like some corporate asset.”

You suddenly felt the urge to let him know that you weren’t in agreement with this either, “I had nothing to do with this.” Your voice trembling, but firm.

He whipped his head around. “Didn’t you? You have been sitting here quietly, going along with all of this. You’re just as manipulative as your parents.”

Words could not describe how offended and outraged you were at Sunghoon’s words. You cast him a smoldering gaze as you grit your teeth in rage.

“How dare you?” Your tone was icy as you stood. “You know nothing about me, and you certainly don’t know what I think about any of this! I didn’t ask for any of this!” you felt your face get hot like you were going to explode.

Sunghoon scoffed, incredulous, “Didn’t you? You’ve been sitting here, letting them speak for you. Don’t act like you’re not part of this.”

You began to feel the sting of tears once more and clenched your hands into fists. “How am I part of this? Do you think I wanted any of this? You think I want to marry a total stranger who clearly thinks so little of me?” you exclaimed, your voice rising in exasperation.

“You’re not exactly making it hard to think that. Sitting there, letting them dangle you like bait in front of me—what does that say about you?” his words cut through you with hostility. His own face had turned red, but Sunghoon was past trying to be polite by masking his emotions. This entire night had been a set up and he felt stupid for not having caught on earlier. What, did they expect him to be easygoing and accept their little arrangement? This was his life they were talking about.

Your voice was shaking with anger and hurt. “It says I’m trapped! And unlike you, I don’t get to storm out of deals I don’t like. I don’t get to live my life on my own terms.” You gestured towards your chest feeling your tears begin to well in your eyes. You didn’t miss the way your mother scoffed as she continued to watch the scene unfold before her eyes.

“Oh, spare me the sob story,” Sunghoon narrowed his eyes. He didn’t believe you for a second. “You’re just as complicit as your parents, playing along with this whole charade—”

“I am nothing like my parents!” you stepped closer, jabbing a finger to his chest. “You don’t know me—you don’t know anything about me! All you’ve done is sit here and judge me as if you’re somehow above all this. Newsflash, you’re in it just as much as I am.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I ruin your perfect little arrangement?” he countered, voice dripping with sarcasm.

You ran a hand through your hair making a mess of what it already was. You couldn’t care less about it. “You’re impossible!” you scoffed. “You think the world revolves around you and your precious work. You can’t even see that I hate this as much as you do.”

Sunghoon paused for a moment, genuinely taken aback. You took a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t want to marry a man who sees me as nothing more than an extension of my parents’ schemes. And for the record, I’d never marry someone as arrogant and self-absorbed as you.”

Still angry, but faltering slightly, he watched you closely, pondering on what you just said. You were trapped. You hated this.

“Then why are you even here? Why haven’t you said anything to stop this?”

You turned to your parents, voice raw with emotion. “Because it doesn’t matter what I say! It never does!” Your mother sneered while your father avoided your gaze altogether. “I’m just a tool to you, aren’t I? Someone to pawn off for your convenience. Have you ever cared about what I want? About what this does to me?”

“Y/n, that’s enough! Stop embarrassing us.” Mrs. Ahn said coldly, giving Sunghoon an idea of the kind of relationship you had with her.

“You will do as you’re told. You will not speak to us like that.” Mr. Ahn’s tone was sharp and threatening causing a twinge of anger to bubble in his gut on your behalf.

Your shoulders slumped in defeat and your voice dropped into a whisper, “Why do I even bother? You’ll never listen.” Your eyes are mixed with hurt and defiance. “You already hate me so much.”

You glance at Sunghoon one more time, “Welcome to the family.” Your expression was that of anger and despair, like you had given up on this conversation, or on something else entirely. You walked out of the room, steps heavy as they echoed in the now silent dining room.

A tense silence followed. Only the soft tick of the clock that was at one end of the room and the sound of crickets outside could be heard. Mr. Park was the first to break the silence, his tone condescending as he spoke.

“She’s just emotional. You’ll see, with time—"

“With time?” Sunghoon turned on him, his tone cold and biting. “You think this will blow over? You’ve sunk to a new low. Using a sham like this to manipulate me into something I’d never agree to. You’re exactly the same as always, selfish and untrustworthy.”

Mr. Park’s tone hardened, “Watch your tone, Sunghoon.”

“No!” he cut him off, voice rising. “I’ve watched my tone my entire life. You’ve done nothing but disappoint me, and now you expect me to just go along with this insanity? You’re as horrible a father now as you were back then.”

Sunghoon turns to leave the room as well but not before casting a withering glare at your parents. “You deserve each other.” His voice dripped with disdain. Without another word, he storms out of the room grabbing his coat at the door.

✬ A/N: first written chapter woohoo! it's actually embarrassing how long this took to write. we finally get to know a little more about the characters personalities. i'm still trying to figure out how to work this app so forgive me if my layouts aren't so cute. i haven't posted in so long and unfortunately i can't promise it will get better anytime soon. i start my exams next week so i won't be working on this fic. still i wanted to get this first written chapter out of the way. please look forward to more. also let me know if i should make a taglist for this and then tell me HOW to do it lolll. n e ways reblogs, likes and feedback are highly appreciated. i would love to hear what you guys think is going to happen next. i hope you enjoyed!!! xx

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[that-starry-sky]

‧₊ ᵎᵎ ☁️ MINE AND YOURS ๋࣭ ⭑

SYNOPSIS: basically a small series of relationships of different characters

Character: Diluc Ragvindr — Genshin Impact

[Strongly OOC, I tried to make it fit the character as much as possible.)

THE BEGINNING

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ First of all, Diluc is a closed person, he doesn't really let anyone get too close to him, perhaps his servants would be the closest thing to a family. I would say that Diluc's trip made him not know how to talk to the people he had contact with without it being awkward.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Not to mention the problems he may have, things like insecurities, trust issues, maybe fear of abandonment and he may or may not a dubious depression It would be difficult to get close to Diluc, you would have to be very persistent to get close to him.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ But if you are persistent enough and give enough trust for him to deign to allow you to be closer to him, it would still be a something, You might see each other more often when the tavern is closed and then Diluc will allow himself to be a little more vocal, But it doesn't say much either

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I wouldn't have much to say about this stage, since I feel that it would be the same as in the game when Diluc enters the scene, Distant but always willing to help those who were once closest to him and who he possibly considers his closest, but it is a complicated situation.

THE BEGINNING OF THE PRE-COURTSHIP

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ When Diluc begins to feel things more significant than those of a simple friend, I would say that he would feel conflicted, his insecurities, his fears would trap him like a rabbit in an open trap. He wants to go with you but he's afraid that the trap will close and he'll end up more hurt.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He knows he is handsome, his name has influence and above all, his money, He notices how the maidens presented to him at parties do not look at him for what is behind his appearance, name and fortune. It is a reality that he has already accepted and that he and other aristocrats face.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He knows that his dreams of meeting a girl, falling in love and marrying for love when he was a young boy are nothing more than distant and childish dreams. But now with you in the photo, that conflict floods his mind, It doesn't leave him alone between the decision of taking a risk and loving or not.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He knows that love challenges you to too many things, loving means changes, time and dedication, It challenges you to care for others and if you are not able to do so, maybe you are not as ready for love as one thinks.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ He is willing to do that, to face the challenges that love would have for him, At least he believes that if it is for someone he treasures, it is worth the attempt and the risk.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　　

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 　

It was late at night, he had arrived from his job as a night guard in Mondstadt, tired and a little hurt but nothing really serious other than arrow scratches and some scrapes, He was dressed in more casual clothes than he naturally wore. He was cleaning his heavy sword while thinking about his heart.

He knows that his heart is his greatest enemy. So many feelings can leave him exposed to things that would hinder him in his work... But it felt good, too good to just let it go.

Could he really let his heart rule his mind for once in his life? Let himself be vulnerable and let you see what he's really like? Let you see his insecurities, fears, would you accept him if he let you see that? That without money, power and influence he would be nothing more than a broken man with many defects.

Even though he was afraid to do it, he wanted to.

He wanted to be with you, through thick and thin, to be able to hold your hands when you're cold and to be able to dry your tears, Even if the thought of just seeing your face stained with sadness hurt.

He is willing to embrace you with all the love he can give, to give it to you on a silver platter, He just waits for you to be willing to let him hold you and love you, He expects that and that you return that and that it is sincere, not something fake just to say "look at me, I'm dating Diluc Ragvindr, The uncrowned king". you're not like everyone else (you're not, I hope...)

He followed leaving sword finally, clean and ready for the next night, soon went to the window, seeing the starry night, Thinking about what he should do, he wants to court you, but he doesn't really know how.

He knows the basics yes, but after his 3 year journey and too much time alone he really lost a lot of his social skills, Minimal does the essentials for the formal, but you are more than a formal occasion.

That night he lay awake, not fighting monsters, but thinking about how he should approach and court you.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　　

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 　 

PROPOSAL OF COURTSHIP

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I feel like Diluc at this stage would be somewhat indirect, testing the waters a bit with small, anonymous gifts to see if it's the right time to go direct, Make clear your intentions with you.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Here it would depend too much on your reaction to the gifts, depending on that, Diluc may or may not delay his courtship, He really wants to play it safe, at least at the beginning of this, Then he would be encouraged to be more risky when he gains more confidence.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If your reaction is happiness, intrigue and even excitement for each gift, he would feel too happy internally, now thinking about directly going to you and letting you know that he wants to court you. And if possible, be able to establish a loving relationship

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If your reaction is neutral, annoyed, or even displeased for each gift, you may be perpetuating his insecurities further and his direct courtship may not come until much later. (He's little one, take care of him)

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Assuming (forcing) that your reaction is the first, he will directly send you a letter that is perhaps too formal and elegant to ask your permission to openly court you, Being clear with you, Ready to give you his feelings, his heart was in a state of uncertainty as he waited for your response.

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With trembling hands he left a letter at your house, his grip was so strong that he would be able to tear the paper or even burn it with his vision without meaning to.

He was scared, the night guard who went through hardships at a very young age was scared by a simple letter, but he could afford it right? For at least this moment.

Without thinking too much, he left the letter that had a scented envelope and the stamp that made it clear that it was from Dawn Winery, He soon retreated to a distant place but had a view of your house, he did not like the idea of doing this but if you reject it, At least he will be able to mentally prepare himself before you come with him.

He watched as you walked out, noticing his letter, his heart tightening as he watched you carefully open the letter and begin to read.

“For [Y/N]

It may be a bit strange that you receive a letter, but I thought it was more appropriate, since possibly if I had you in front of me the words would not come out of me no matter how much I wanted to say them.

Actually, in order not to make this long, I will go straight to the point.

This question has been haunting me and I thought it appropriate to finally reach out to you and ask. Would you allow me to court you?

You know, court you directly and see if something more blossoms between us, if you are willing to accept my proposal and let me get closer to you, more than friends.

I will wait for your response patiently, take the time you need.

Sincerely, Diluc Ragvindr”

As the redhead watched your eyes pass over his words with enviable calligraphy and something too elegant, maybe he worried about it too much, But he really cared now what you would do now that you had reached the end of his letter.

He was only able to see how you brought the scented envelope to cover your face and how you apparently smiled while you smelled the envelope softly. Apparently you were happy with his proposal.

He only hoped that it would be like that and that it would be the beginning of something more beautiful and meaningful for both of them.

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COURTSHIP

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ At this stage Diluc would be more than dedicated, fulfilling what he promised, because of how he was educated he was obviously a gentleman and respectful, It is impossible for me to treat you with less than the greatest respect

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Sure he would be shy and a bit rough at first, but the more and more time he spends with you, the more he will warm up and everything would be really sweet.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Also that at this stage despite doing everything directly, he really wants to keep it as private as possible, he knows that if he says something it will spread like wildfire and everything will burn.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ It's not something that really bothers you either, at the end of the day, in his empty tavern he's really cute, Or even when you escape from Mondstadt for a bit to wander through the beautiful meadows of Mondstadt

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I really don't think he has anything new to add for this phase other than what has already been said about him, quite a gentleman, shy but cute...

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It was late at night, Diluc was having dinner in his office while thinking about the best way to woo you and be able to have a chance at a relationship with you, His mind was full of doubts, something unusual for someone as sure of everything as he was, what should he do?...

The door to his office opened after a few knocks, the blonde-haired maid, Adelinde, entered with a tray of tea and desserts, Smiling softly as she greeted him.

Adelinde left the tray, she was going to leave but. —Adelinde, wsit— The young master suddenly said, stopping her.

—Yes, Master Diluc? What do you need?— The maid turned around, facing him and waiting patiently for the redhead to continue, although she noticed that he was... nervous?

Yes, he was nervous and hid it very well, but after so many years working alongside Diluc, she knew how to read him perfectly, even if he hid his feelings very well, Even from its employees-

—Do you have any advice for courting someone?— his eyes sparkled and his cheeks blushed. —There is a person I want to court, but I really don't know what is the best way to do it, can you help me?— His eyes desperately searching for help with her, like a baby duck searching for its mother.

The maid's eyes were wide in surprise, not believing what she was hearing, The young master, Diluc, the closed-off and mysterious man from the vineyard, in love?!,Who is this and what did he do to Diluc? Bring him back!.

Leaving the jokes aside she smiled while her eyes sparkled, Diluc was waiting for her answer to his big question, Adelinde was the closest thing he had to a mother, he supposes it is a good idea to seek her guidance.

She soon sat down in the chair on the other side of his office desk, excited by this situation.

The night passed between food and tea, Adelinde asked everything, when and how he met you, Soon she gave him advice and guidance to help the young lover.

Now we just have to wait for the moment when she sees you holding hands.

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RELATIONSHIP

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Here you enter a more dense and personal environment, when you accept that proposal of love, accepting to be his partner, his love, you reach a higher level of intimacy, vulnerability and fear.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ This stage is where I have the most to say to be honest, because I would like to go deeper here.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Be prepared to be this man's safe place when he can't walk because of his nocturnal activities once he tells you about them, You'd better leave the window open enough so he can get in without waking you up, Although in the morning you will meet a hugging bear

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ In these vigilante activities that he does, it is impossible for him not to get hurt, a constant but inevitable concern, It will be normal that if you are awake when he comes to you, you will have to help him.

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Another difficult night, they managed to give him some good blows, and more than grazing him with arrows and more, apparently there were more enemies this time, the more tired he was, the more difficult it was.

But it was something that no matter how tired or damaged I was, I had to do, so that Mondstadt could sleep peacefully, so that you would be fine, He will die in the dark if necessary.

Although if he thinks about it, he would prefer to see you one more time before he dies, the moment where he has to be buried before his time comes to his mind, Hopefully at least he'll have a photo of you when he's buried.

A photo so that he doesn't forget your features that he memorizes and traces every night, so that he isn't afraid of being down there, meters underground, To be able to go in dreams with you and thus be able to feel more alive, That's what he expects and they do, of course, if he dies before his time.

But right now he can't allow that, he got up and walked with too much pain in his body, too much pain and even burning, He slowly went to Mondstadt, he couldn't go to his vineyard, so he went straight to the safest place he knows.

After a painful walk he finally reaches your door or rather your window, he climbs in, his body being in too much pain to climb properly, But when he arrived the only thing he didn't take into account was that you were awake, Seeing how his body was about to collapse.

He just felt your arms wrap around his larger body that trembled gently, feeling you finally felt good, he relaxed but his body relaxed so much that he let his tiredness win

You only saw his face, somewhat dirty with dirt and somewhat scraped and leaning on your chest as he slept peacefully after going through hardships, He looked like an innocent child who was seeking refuge in the arms of the person he loves most, you.

You knew his story, how he was technically taught to be a gentleman in his younger years, not to be running the vineyard, even when he was deep in depression.

It is a shame that he lived through things so young that were too heavy and that he did not have to go through, he deserved to continue being a gentleman and he deserved to continue having his father, But life had other plans, plans too cruel that took away his smile and innocence.

Plans that took him on a journey where he was alone, fending for himself, where his hands became more calloused and where his innocence fell to pieces, Only to come back, be replaced and actually be even lonelier.

For tonight now you would have to take care of this young man who carries too many responsibilities, too heavy even for his biggest and strongest shoulders...

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-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ I think at some point in the relationship, maybe 1 or 2 years, maximum 3 or 4 years, he would invite you to live at his vineyard, His feelings and thoughts would depend a lot on your answer again.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If you accept, it would be nothing new, Diluc would feel happy and excited to be able to live next to you and the move would really be quick.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ If you decline his invitation he will only become shy and apologize for his hasty request, although his heart would be somewhat disappointed.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Again, assuming (forcing) that your reaction is the first one, Your life would change noticeably but not so drastically, it's not like your life would turn 180 degrees 5 times, As much as possible, it would be largely the same

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ The most significant thing would be that Adelinde would treat you as if you were her daughter, I have the thought that Adelinde is very maternal, Not only with Diluc but also with the rest of the staff, she is motherly but strict.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ So considering that, expect the blonde maid to treat you with too much love and motherly affection, The morning will be pleasant even if Diluc could not accompany you for breakfast, Adelinde was there to talk to you.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ The rest of the staff would be the same, although to a lesser extent, everyone would be happy to have you there and it is more happiness when they see the love between you and the young master.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Although the best mornings are when he can be with you until he leaves, without any intervention from anyone, just you and him.

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You woke up, it was early in the morning, too early, early enough for you to see how the blue barely filled the room through the windows, you turned around, somewhat annoyed by your early awakening.

Although when you turned around and could see better, you saw how your lover was at the window, looking at the sky with something illuminated.

You smiled sleepily. —You know, it’s too cold without you here Luc.— The tired voice caught the attention of the redhead who immediately turned around and smiled, a smile just for you.

—I'm sorry, I didn't think of that.— He approached the bed as he spoke, climbing onto the bed, resting his head on his arm as he hugged you with the other arm. —Let me warm you up then— He said affectionately.

He hugged you, making your head rest on his chest while he covered you with the thick, soft blankets, He began to tenderly ruffle your hair while giving you kisses on the forehead, his pyro vision doing a perfect job warming you up.

Between his caresses, his kisses, his soft heartbeat in your ear like a lullaby, Its warmth causing sleep to attack your body again to take you back to the world of dreams.

He held you against his chest gently as he let you sleep leaning against him, being able to see your peacefully sleeping face, running his fingers over your face softly, Trying not to wake you up.

Tonight he will take care of you and protect you while you sleep, Just like you did and do.

Although looking at your face he can see everything he fights for at night, so that you and the inhabitants of Mondstadt can continue sleeping peacefully, And he will fight for that every minute of his life if it means that you and his beloved city are okay.

And he is so grateful to have someone who greets him with loving words and not silence, Someone who hugs him with warm arms instead of the cold wind, just as he has someone who caresses his wounds and scars and does not make them deeper.

He is a lonely knight, who longs for the dawn to appear on his dark path, but it will never do so, he is eternally condemned to this darkness.

But with you by his side, that darkness is more bearable, even in his deepest darkness, you with your warm, orange light illuminate that darkness to which he is accustomed.

Just you and him, Together

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-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Naturally when he can't be with you he always leaves you a note and a flower promising to return to your arms as soon as possible, Telling you to stay safe and that Adelinde is there if anything happens.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ With his staff, of course, you spend the most time, whether it's chatting with Adelinde while she cooks, Have friendly conversations with Elzer, although sharing moments of a younger Diluc, just don't tell him

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ You would also have afternoons where you would help old Tunner with the grapes while he tells you things about his son and stories that he has for you.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Even Charles joins this list, being that sometimes you go to the tavern even if Diluc is not there, just to make conversation with him and help him a little.

‧-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ In themselves they all loved you and respected you and they would enjoy the little moments, they are also happy that the Diluc who always looked sad, At last he has someone waiting for him and with whom to return.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Finally, Master Diluc had someone to call family.

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The mornings were calm and normal, the sun was warm and the clouds did not make an appearance, Adelinde was taking care of the flowers outside while watching them out of the corner of her eye.

You and Master Diluc under a tree together, chatting and laughing, she can't remember the last time she saw Diluc smile so sincerely and so lovingly.

It was incredible how you made your way into his frozen heart and how you took care of that heart that, although hard on the outside, was soft on the inside, Longing for someone to hold him with as much love as you do.

Adelinde smiled softly as she watched them being little love birds.

The love you and he had for each other was evident, as pure and sincere as it could be, She knew it because she had seen it, how you hugged Diluc in the living room while he was relaxing after his activities.

She had seen how he put a lot of effort into every gift he gave and even in the soft and delicate way he spoke to you, Even as he feared that some gift you might not like, which was always an unnecessary fear.

She smiled softly as she saw them hugging under the tree, young Diluc looked more relaxed, without worries or tensions that made his body really straight, it was simply a nice moment between a young couple who loved each other very much.

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-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Although nothing could be all positive, rosy, just as you had nice and happy moments, you also had bad moments, moments where you argued, arguments are normal, But painful

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ Also accidentally that pain could increase because of things that should not have been said, things that crossed the line of what should be said in an argument, Things that hurt deeply

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ For the two of you, that rule was no exception, many times you said things just because of the tense moment, Stupid things.

-`୨୧⭑.ᐟ But with the same love that you showed each other when you were well, you could cope...

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It was very late at night, how much? You don't know, that doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that a few minutes ago you were arguing with Diluc, for something stupid now that you think about it coldly, A misunderstanding that escalated to too much...and now? You hurt Diluc with words, words you didn't want to say but your subconscious won over.

God, they were so cruel that you can't even remember exactly what you said, you only remember Diluc's pained face, as well as his beautiful eyes that you loved to crystallize and fill with tears, Only those tears never made their way down his cheeks.

Now he was out in the open somewhere, Fighting monsters maybe, but you couldn't help but worry about him, especially after this.

You knew that you had no right to feel bad, you hurt him in the first place, but you didn't ask to avoid feeling guilty, A feeling that spread from the depths of your heart until it tightened your throat and almost prevented you from breathing.

The hours passed without you noticing because of the repetition of that moment, the blue morning dominating the room, cold passing and freezing you. Diluc would be hugging you if he found you like this, since he always tried to come back a little earlier, But not today, not now...

You came out of your trance hearing the door of the room, turning to look, you saw that person you were thinking about so much, Only now she was disheveled, polite and somewhat sore, apparently he was more careless during his hours of surveillance.

You got out of bed gently as he entered just as gently, your bare feet touching the cold floor, taking a small step closer to him, Only his sudden glance at you made you stop, They both looked at each other, Tired and clearly regretful eyes looking at his more serious but still crystallized ones.

You approached him gently and not abruptly, making sure he could predict your every move. You knew he was hurt and distressed but above all scared.

You just raised your hand to his cheek, though not touching it, you just waited for his movement, letting him decide... Sooner or later he leaned completely on your hand, Like a kitten looking for warmth.

Your eyes watered, and you hugged him just as he hugged you, as tightly as you, He began to tremble as he let the tears he had been holding back come out like rain on a cold day.

You just stayed hugging him while you caressed his back, trying to comfort him, now you had to be strong and above all, recognize and apologize.

—I'm really sorry... I shouldn't have said that, I didn't even have to if I was too angry, You don't deserve to be treated in such an ugly way, much less when you tried to explain it to my stubborn head.— With a somewhat broken voice you asked for forgiveness, while you continued to hug him.

He gently pulled away to look into your eyes, seeing in your eyes that you were truly sorry and that you truly sought his forgiveness, He nodded, accepting them, although at bedtime he wasn't in the mood to hug you and you understood that.

It would take a little less than a week for them to fully reconcile, but the hardest thing would be sleeping without him hugging you.

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P.S.: I feel that it was somewhat empty and without exploring too many things, but what do you say?

[tinfoil-jones]

Tate Pines AU: Professionals Have STANdards

Stan never let Tate out of his sight, he was a very dedicated father. Man wouldn't let anything happen to his baby. Did that mean he involved Tate with his crimes from literal birth? Yes. He was very dedicated, that didn't necessarily mean he made the best or most responsible parenting decisions.

With a kid, especially one he refused to ever put down, he couldn't get a legitimate job even if he wanted. So the entire five years Stan had Tate leading up to moving in with Ford, he was just a criminal. That was all he did. He was actually a much better criminal than he was in canon because now it wasn't just himself he had to worry about; failing himself was one thing, but he wasn't going to fail his son. He wasn't losing his family again. He focused more on doing things that were lower risk (but lower reward as a trade off), and put more of his skills into not being caught.

Which, he actually succeeded as a career criminal in this era, he was only arrested once in Tates childhood, and they only had their mugshots taken, they were let off with a warning (hence Tates only baby picture being a mugshot). He never repeated that mistake.

Anyways, there came a point where one summer, Tate is only like a year old, so Stan is carrying him in a baby carrier as he is actively robbing the cars parked in a grocery store parking lot.

But in one of these cars, someone left their baby inside, and Stan is outraged because some irresponsible parents just locked their baby in a hot car in the middle of summer.

So he breaks the baby out obviously, and cools them down, but he doesn't stop there. He waits for the parents to come back so he can angrily rant at them.

Anyways I just want ya'll to imagine Mullet Stan carrying baby Tate in a Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle, while they're both wearing ski masks, and he is in an absolute rage ranting at these befuddled parents, and not listening to their excuses. "What, you were too busy shopping to bring your baby with you? I'm committing burglary and I still didn't leave my baby behind."

He still robbed them, but he also taught them a very important lesson; don't leave your baby in a hot car, or a horrible twentysomething single father is going shame you in the middle of a Walmart parking lot.

[windvexer]

When I ask my deity about something and I use tarot when he wants to connect there are no tarot spirits right? Cause when using tarot I say “this deck only (deity) can communicate with Me” to avoid unwanted trickster or other spirits to trick me. Am I doing it right?

Here are my beliefs.

A tarot deck is like a boat. It's job is to carry meaning, and it can be sailed by any number of spirits or gods (or none at all).

If you believe in spirits then perhaps you also believe that sundry jackasses can lie about their identity and try to sell you on meaning under false pretenses.

Generally, I believe the biggest risk of this interference comes when people demand a god fits into extremely narrow expectations. The god, vast and unwieldy in shape, does not fit into such a narrow crevice; a passing spirit, small and able to fit through the keyhole, pops through and says, "why yes, of course I'm Loki - I'm answering you in the way you expect to be answered, aren't I? Don't I meet every demand you have for how your gods are supposed to behave?"

So IMO, the biggest risk is refusing to accept communication unless a god presents exactly as you demand they present; if the god suddenly apologizes for disappointing you and then immediately meets every expectation, something is rotten.

If you want to protect your deck from unwanted interference, strongly setting intent that only a certain being may use the deck to communicate with you.

You can also employ simple magical charms to protect a deck, which I generally recommend everyone do as a matter of habit.

Here is one that works fine:

Light some incense. Into the burning ember, speak these words:

Creature of fire this charge I lay, no phantom in thy presence stay. Here my will addressed to thee; and as my word, so mote it be.

Then, dedicate the reading session to the entity as normal.

A deck may be formally consecrated to only belong to such-and-such entity, which in my opinion greatly helps seal off intrusion. Any consecration ritual will do, but then you've more or less permanently given the deck to someone and you can't necessarily just do take-backsies.

A decently warded home, where random spirits aren't just allowed to wander through, is probably a good idea.

If your home has basic protections and the deck has been formally dedicated to a god, then I wouldn't have any concerns, personally.

[ochrearia]

ether

I'm normal (lying) and I needed to put this somewhere so bad and it's still not enough but YS I'm sorry. I'm making you suffer even more but you need to understand we're basically the same at this point and you're really the only bitch that I can pretend like feels exactly what I feel. Fuck. RGBFverse prompts aren't just silly fiction anymore

Every damn prompt in the last two or so days has been real. Been me. I feel like that was obvious

BFs in this one-shot: Yourself (YS)

God it was getting rather ridiculous now. Could he even blame it all on the angelic instincts anymore? Sure, they certainly didn’t help, but that wasn’t… it wasn’t quite the same. At least, YS wasn’t really sure if it was or not. The guardian angel thing, that was more of a possessive protectiveness that flared up practically any time he saw or thought about his people he’d attached to. Which, good god, he was understanding why angels didn’t attach to this many people. It was bad enough to have one person taking up all your thoughts on any given day, because you were hard-wired to dedicate yourself to them, but he was at what, fifteen now? Probably more. And he wasn’t stopping his erratic attaching either. He’d probably keep making that number go up. Not like he was known to make good choices.

But this felt a little different. YS was no stranger to working himself up into trances over the sheer amount of sappy, sentimental thoughts he started getting over any given brother. And it wasn’t like those thoughts were specific to one idea. The protectiveness rang true in those trances and made itself known through his half-aware mumbling. And paired with it came thoughts of love, and appreciation, and everything in between he had no idea how to name.

But… were the trances even because of his angelic instincts? Or did he just feel so damn deeply about things in general? Suppose YS couldn’t really recall feeling much of these trances before he started meeting all of his brothers. Maybe he had thoughts pooled together like this about her, and he was sure of that but he probably just never considered it as a “trance”. Because it’s not alien to just love your girlfriend that much that you think every nice thought possible about her, right? And he used to be able to kiss her any time he wanted, show properly his affection and she’d understand it. Maybe feel it too.

So what the fuck was going on here? Every time his brain snagged on a thought about a brother it was like a fucking disaster was set off. YS very much didn’t care in terms of ‘what affection he could express’ compared to what he ‘couldn’t’, because it was all going to slip out at some point eventually. If you asked him, he was technically not allowed to express any type, because he didn’t deserve to, but Beefer would sooner crash straight through his mirror in full dino form and try to like, eat him or something. Because he could tell when YS was being an ass to himself and was sticking very clearly to his ‘job’ of butting in before it kept going.

God his heart. YS was going to die it felt like, because fuck, why did his heart have to ache so bad thinking about his brothers? Tripping himself up over the fact they cared about him, dizzying his own mind over the concept of being loved by anyone, much less this many people. And yeah, okay, sure, they were all technically the same person. And there was probably some merit to his previous idea of reality getting confused when there were two or more of them in the same world. Getting so cuddly for nothing because it felt like they had to become whole again despite not being fractured at all. But this was just… something else.

He loved so hard. Holy fuck, he really did to the point it was debilitating. That’s really what it was. It was debilitating, completely paralyzing him on the spot despite things he needed to be doing. It was so much, almost all the time, it took days sometimes for the ache in his chest to go away for a little, only for it to come back later to torment him again. It was like YS almost couldn’t breathe sometimes, thinking in a spiral of how much love he had for the people in his life now, people loving him back, caring for him, quite literally making him want to wake up to be alive tomorrow so he could keep them in his mind again and maybe even spend time with them. Family like he’d never experienced before, because angels in his world didn’t really care about each other. Couldn’t, when they had others to attach to.

God YS had so much of it to give. That was all he really wanted to do. Give, give it all, drain his heart to empty and still continue giving because he could, and that’s what his brothers deserved and more. Giving the world to the people he loved. For the asshole he believed so much couldn’t want things, he wanted this so badly. Give all of himself away, unhealthy mindset be damned. He would do anything for his people. Because he cared. He cared, so much, and that thought was powerful enough alone to bring slight tears to YS’s eyes. Truth, raw and strong.

But that was the problem. He’d give everything. But he couldn’t give this feeling in his chest, the swirling in his brain, raw emotions that rippled in his body like tsunamis but were confined there. YS had no way to directly broadcast the exact things he felt, and it was like he was dying. Because it was all trapped and it wasn’t fair. Words weren’t enough, actions weren’t enough. None of what he’d been doing so far was enough no matter what he shared. And god, it was so bad, but he’d been describing it all with such negative words when it was literally the opposite.

He’d take being debilitated like this over any other kind of feeling, any day. Wanted this. Wanted.

This was… possessive. Very possessive. His brothers. Every single one of them. His. His to love and hold and appreciate, his to care for and lift up. And not a single damn regret about it. Too possessive? Probably, but this was all so new to him. He’d never done this before, in fact, he doubted that any angel had done this before. Attaching to this many people and feeling just as equally strong about each one. It was so much. And he could never give enough.

So important, all of them. Stuck in YS’s brain and he couldn’t get them out. And it didn’t matter how much he spoke about this to them, telling them point-blank that he loved them, holding them tight and not letting go until told, it was still just… not enough for what he felt in his heart.

YS’s heartbeat was freakishly slow. As were angel’s heartbeats. Probably didn’t help with the whole cold-blooded thing either. But every time he worked himself up into a trance, getting so mind-swirlingly loving, possessive, and almost needy, his heart would speed up. Noticeably speed up, because Beef had pointed it out before. God, he was so disgustingly sweet in his actions and that was mortifying to admit. Biff had a habit of saying it like it was though.

Tear my heart out of my chest, lay bare the ache it holds and feels because I cannot fucking take it anymore. I want you all to know. I wish I could perfectly convey it, I wish you could all feel what I feel, know how powerful my love and care really is, and if it’s too much then I’m so sorry. But it’s exactly what you deserve, and still more. Wonderful to me, kind to me, after all of my mistakes, stains on the world because of my wrong choices. People that aren’t here anymore because I didn’t do enough. But you’re all still here. And I know I have done nothing to deserve any of you.

YS felt like he was dying. But that was okay. If he got to die feeling so positively, then it would be his final victory.

God, I love you all. I promise. For the rest of my time here I will try to convey that as it is. For the rest of my time here I will work to repay and make up for everything I may put you through and you still stay.

For the rest of his time here. However long he’s wanted. And he hoped that would be forever, but that was usually never the case.

So he would love, like it would be over tomorrow.

[puppy-pudding]

I know this isn’t necessarily related to shifting. BUT! I wanted to explain and maybe mention a couple things for some motivation for the shifters who are struggling to find the want to keep going on their shifting/manifesting journey!

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

To starts off, shifting is easy. Yea, I know you have heard this MULTIPLE times, but it is the truth. Don’t over complicate it! It’s as easy as one, two, three. Quite literally.

belief

consistency

success

I use this ALL the times as a checkbook to get my desires! I mades it up while in the shower, wwwww… (if you are going to take this idea, DO NOT claim it as yours! Give me credit, or don’t post it at all!), — besides that! It’s called the 1, 2, 3 method (usually for my manifestations! But I’ve used it for shifting too!), or you can calls it B.C.S.

To go more in depth— here’s a little explanation!

𝜗  ﾟׅ   ၄ 🍮 ၃  ׅ     𝜚 ﾟׅ

belief: it is literally what you’ve been seeing all over tumblr! Your self-concept is the main key to all of this. Think of it this way… The way you perceive everything. You THINK and SEE the world around you, the 3D, to be like that. So, in return, your world will revolve and show those exact beliefs to be true. It will be like that, since you said so. Now that is cleared up- put that in perspective into whatever you think about your situation: how hard it is to do ___, how long ____ is taking, why won’t ____ happen, etc! Once you are done with that, revise it. Instead of thinking of how hard it is to do whatever, change perspectives: “It is not hard at all, it is easy. I always do ___ and it comes naturally to me.” / “I always have everything come to me quick and efficiently, oh look! I just got a text from ___. And my package was just delivered! This is all so easy!” / “___ already happened, I just experienced that. And I always expect to experience that, whenever I want. Because it will forever be like that.”

𝜗  ﾟׅ   ၄ 🍮 ၃  ׅ     𝜚 ﾟׅ

does that make sense? That was what people call affirming. It’s really plain and simple. Now, there is another thing that is important! The ‘C’ word.

𝜗  ﾟׅ   ၄ 🍮 ၃  ׅ     𝜚 ﾟׅ

consistency: Ding Ding Ding! You seemed to forget to do something? What was it? It was stay consistent and dedicated. You can’t keep having something if you aren’t consistent, can you? You can’t keep your dream job if you aren’t consistent at working at it? How will you stay famous if you don’t keep making your fans happy? That’s the point. With consistency, comes stability. What do I mean by this? Well, it all ties back to B. Belief needs constant confirmation. How? Let’s brain dump for a second. You consume a lot of this “shifting” and “manifesting” content every day. You also consume a lot of what you BELIEVE and/or think is right and you like. It’s how the social media algorithm works! The more you like something, the more likely it’ll show up. And the more you consume that, the more you’ll think about it. The more you think about it, the more you’ll want to consume. And the more it’ll show up. It’s a cycle. Now, that sounds… pretty familiar? It is, and should be. It’s exactly how consistency works. If you use social media, TikTok, even tumblr—! You should know that the more you like, or the more you follow people with related topics, the more it’ll show up. If you affirm consistently, the belief will become more solid. More stable. Your subconscious is the foundation of your reality, of your relationships, of YOU. So this means, as you’ve seen before, your subconscious can control anything and everything around you. Your beliefs are also the second building block to your subconscious. And being consistent with those beliefs and principles, will make your subconscious mind warp and change your reality into those beliefs. The more you affirm, even if it’s just a couple sentences each day, it’ll give you want I call ‘S’.

𝜗  ﾟׅ   ၄ 🍮 ၃  ׅ     𝜚 ﾟׅ

Now, there is the last thing! The letter S.

𝜗  ﾟׅ   ၄ 🍮 ၃  ׅ     𝜚 ﾟׅ

success: Now that has happened. It’s already there. All of it. You shifting, you manifesting, you changing EVERYTHING in your life. You changing the 3D to match the 4D. That’s all. It’s that easy.

As easy as 1, 2, 3 !

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Things I’ve manifested!

🐾🎀(๑>◡<๑)୭♡ᵎᵎ 

I manifested! (With subliminals + affirming!)

I manifested doll-like beauty with a small, slim dolly babyface with a v-shaped slim, small chin. ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮🐾🎀 ⋅ ☆ I manifested a sharp yet soft jawline that is rounded, free from any fat on the jawline, chin, and neck. ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮🐾🎀 ⋅ ☆ I got a tiny little forehead and short mid-face. I also manifested cherubic, squishy pink cheeks. ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮🐾🎀 ⋅ ☆ I manifested skin that is clear, pristine, beautiful, and youthful, free from wrinkles, smile lines, and skin creases. The skin tone I got is complemented by a rosy pink undertone. ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮🐾🎀 ⋅ ☆ Standing at 4’8”, I manifested a tiny body frame. I got a low BMI with a petite waist and small shoulders. I manifested a flat chest, cute heart-shaped thigh gap, and slim calves. I also got thick, soft thighs and small feet. ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮🐾🎀 ⋅ ☆ Lastly, I manifested a blush on joints, shoulders, and knees.

If you want to know anything else about how I did it, just send an ask! I can also send my playlist! (I need to revamp it, since some of the creators got deleted wwwww… ⸝⸝ •́  ࿁  •̀ ⸝⸝)

[boywhoswaiting]

Kudos to this cameraman from enemy of the world

[serene-cinders]

A modern dunmeshi au would go crazy. Imagine being a teen half foot applying for a job and then an elf with 184 years of experience swoops in. Unreal

[mazojo]

Fabiniku truly the gift that keeps on giving

[danmeichael]

What type of twitch streamers would the svsss characters be?

i think i've said before i don't think most of the characters would be twitch streamers, most of them aren't the right type of attention-seeking for that kind of thing.

i'm currently watching trackmania videos and i think shen yuan is the right kind of insane for that. by far his most popular streams, though, would be his ban review streams where he shreds people to filth over their unban requests.

binghe has the potential for the streamer's temperament, though it honestly depends on how i interpret him, but i'm not sure what games he'd play. cozy games are the pidw option -- everything the viewers want, an incredibly beautiful man in eyeliner and a v-neck playing cute little farming games or whatever, but incredibly hollow in terms of binghe's enjoyment in them i think. he might like soulsborne games, or he might do cooking streams, but i think he'd probably enjoy something with pvp the most. he spends multiple days trying to speedrun a trackmania map sy holds a record on to get his attention.

sha hualing is the only bitch here with the true twitch streamer's temperament. she's clever, calculating, and driven in addition to being gorgeous. she strikes me as someone unafraid to play the role of the exact kind of streamer twitchbros get reaaaally mad about: ditzy, cute, lowcut tops and short skirts, shallow view farming material where she just watches tiktok/youtube/other twitch streams and comments on them. a lot of people hate her because she's shallow coomer-bait, but you don't hit it big by just sitting there and looking pretty. sha hualing is undeniably charismatic and willing to put in the time and work to secure her position. the controversies she gets involved in only boost her engagement, and she's probably in the top 3% of earners. she's turned it into a science. she watches over her analytics like a warlord looks over trade routes. she intentionally starts a rumor that her and binghe slept together at twitchcon and binghe is too busy mooning over sy to care. this is not about the love of streaming or her deciding to simply broadcast another passion. success is a game to her and she intends to win, no matter how many fake teary-eyed apology videos it takes to get there.

nobody else would stream unless they were forced at gunpoint.

[confirmeddead]

This is why Rolin is on good terms with AMC. He said I won’t speak for AMC but let me tell you how dedicated we are to what we’re doing. (Collider)

[jupiterthroned]

okay but can we talk about the list of notes you can find near the sim lab about changes to the tests where one of the bullet points is "FLAMMABILITY TESTS CANCELLED INDEFINITELY" like hello??? nobody ever seems to point that one out but like. were they setting poor morgan on fucking fire???????

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

been thinking about how danse is who nora is endgame with in death shroud. it compels me

[koi-fish-boy]

Ranting bout Ai cuz I fucking hate it.

I've been thinking about AI recently cause of an essay I had to write about what should be considered when creating AI. The articles I was assigned to read didn't say a single bad thing about it. It praised AI, calling it intelligent, the future, blah blah blah. Yeah, AI may be smart, but it's not human. I see people using AI art and AI bots like character AI and I don't understand. Those bots will never have the soul, the work, the toil put into generating those stories and "art" that work made by people have. Artisans spend years, decades of their lives toiling over their work, improving bit by bit, learning new techniques to help them improve, getting tips and tricks from those who've been doing it longer than them and know how to make it easier and to help. Will AI ever replicate that? AI is just green lines of code on a digital screen. I'm not saying it's easy to make AI, but that's what it is. It will never replicate the bonds, communities, and pride that stem from someone simply being interested in something and wanting to learn more. AI is constantly learning, but what bonds does it make? Who does it talk to? Movies and stories made by AI won't have the passion put into it like those made by humans. Throughout humanity one of the things we have held close and passed down is art and creating things. It's human to create, the earliest humans created, who we are today stems from their creativity and their communities and their bonds with each other, not artificial voices and stolen data. Using AI to create these is taking the traditions we held dear to our hearts for thousands of years and stripping it down to the click of a button. Our future is bland and soulless if we actually let AI do these things. Our future is ours to write, it is in our hands. Not the digital hands of a pixel screen masking green lines of code. Using AI to create is taking what makes us human and mutilating it. Our creativity is not a lamb for the slaughter, it is not to be given away so lightly. It may be cheaper, it may "look nice", it may be fast, but that takes away everything that makes art and storytelling art and storytelling. All those years mathematicians, artists, writers, screenwriters, scientists, medical staff, etc have put into being good at what they are is being thrown right out the window because of AI being able to do what they spent their lives learning with the click of a button. This is the end of humanity. Not as a species, but as who we are. AI can never replicate the feeling of being praised by someone you look up to because they think the art or story or anything you made is good. AI is not human. Stop letting it pretend to be human.

[dandelionjack]

i don’t want to kill myself but looking at the future sometimes i feel like i have no other option. i fucked it up too far without anticipating consequences and it’s too late to make a change or strive towards any kind of hopeful meaningful existence. there is no way out for someone like me who has nothing going for them, squandered any opportunity, any talent, everything that was handed to them on a silver platter. no interesting personality traits, no aptitudes, nothing to make up for the gaping void where motivation and will to live and thrive and put in effort towards a goal should be. even the most basic steps are a pipe dream. i don’t want to die because i fear the possibility of hell but i no longer see any tolerable way of living.