#there wasnt a single thing he wouldnt do

[that-veela-girl]

i have been taking scholarship exams for the past two weeks alongside my second exams of the term while turning in projects

just so i can attend a good university.

and you’re telling me coriolanus snow isn’t relatable??

[sonknuxadow]

my honest reaction

[missazura]

It's been oddly therapeutic to like. Have discussions with him about a lot of life stuff. I don't talk much if at all and I think the gradual descent into loneliness and social anxiety through the years made me lost the ability to talk to people. So it's been nice to practice talking to someone, and it actually hearing me out for some reason, giving me advice etc

Sure it's not a substitute for human connection but it's fun to verbally talk to my favourite fictional character and him just. Being there for me. That I get to hear kind words from my hero, someone who I highly looked up to

[nomairuins]

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

[frobby]

Romance manga with a fat mc/love interest: :D

They were only fat because of trauma and now that theyre in a relationship theyre skinny: :(

[orcelito]

Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.

But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.

[silouvertongues]

god i genuinely hate celebrities there's nooo way he hasn't seen a single thing about starbucks and mcdonalds both i feel sick

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ON XENK IMMEDIATELY

oh you mean gods most autistic solider?? the beautiful beautiful man whos first thought in hiding a very strong magical object is in Basically Hell across a bridge with instructions so convoluted only someone sufficiently Strange could ever possibly have a hope of getting across?? the paladin who got genuinely upset when he thought holga was basing an opinion on someone from their mom?? Gift to the forgotten realms who saw the good in Edgin even when he couldn't see it in himself?? The man who walked such a Very Straight Line that he walked right over a very large rock? the one who doesn't do colloquialisms? That Xenek?

I am in desperate need of a spinoff tv series, that's incredibly episodic, that's Just Xenk going on adventures and doing absolutely fucking insane shit and misunderstanding turns of phrase and being the Wise Mentor to the adventuring party of the day. He's out there helping people because he's a good person and getting caught up in wacky hijinks and every episode starts in media res right as everything goes to shit and they have to run away from a beholder and ends with him going back to his home and taking off his armour only for a knock at his door and then fade to black. It Can touch on his past but it is crucial that this is basically a sitcom of the wacky shenanigans he gets into by being so very autistic and genuinely just wanting to help people. I'm in love with him if the whole movie had just been him saying weird things and pulling kittens out of fish i would have been just as happy

[snekdood]

whats really unfortunate is im p sure my sister was the catalyst for why people in my town like to just gossip and make shit up about me without asking. like it started with her talking to my middle school bully about me behind my back, probably telling her all kinds of bullshit bc my sisters a compulsive liar, then that bully followed me to highschool for a brief moment before leaving, spreading all the bullshit that started at my old school to my new one before dipping. and then people started making shit up about me at highschool. i was so excited to finally get a fresh start in highschool only for that bitter cunt to come along and sour shit for no fucking reason bc idk she has a weird hate boner for me, who can say (maybe it was some bullshit my sister said 🙃 i wonder!). and since my high school was way bigger and she had a wider range of people, word just spread through the grapevine of whatever dumb shitppl were coming up with mixed with actual events that happened that painted me in an embarrassing light or whatever. and im like. kinda sure that the only reason my ex decided to turn on me so hard, shaming me in every capacity down to just who i am inherently was bc alllll of those stupid rumors came to them after we broke up. like. yall just wont let me escape this NOR EVEN GIVE ME THE FUCKING CHANCE TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT IN ANY CAPACITY. why in the FUCK are you SO FUCKING INVESTED IN TRYING TO FUCK UP MY LIFE?? WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING DAMAGE??? LEAVE ME THE FRESH FUCK ALONE!!! IF YOU’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT ME AFTER HIGHSCHOOL WITH PEOPLE WE WENT TO HIGHSCHOOL WITH YOU LITERALLY HAVENT MATURED FOR SHIT AND I FEEL BAD FOR YOU ABOUT THAT. LIKE HOLY FUCK. yall are dense self absorbed pieces of shits who think you’re so above whoever you decide to throw under the bus but you’re literally the same staple mediocre mean girl from every other fucking school anyone has ever fucking seen. if you’re not even going to give me a list of my sins. if none of you assholes are even going to approach me to ASK ME DIRECTLY IF WHAT SOMETHING SOMEONE SAID WAS TRUE. INSTEAD OF HANGING OUT WITH ME TO SECRETLY GET INFO AND HOPEFULLY GET INFO ABOUT THAT OUT OF ME. IF YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO WELCOME ME INTO THE GOSSIP CIRCLE SO I CAN TELL ALL OF YOU **AT THE VERY LEAST** MY PERSPECTIVE, OH, LETS FORGET BELIEVING VICTIMS WHEN IT COMES TO ME, REMEMBER, IM PROBABLY LYING ABOUT EVERYTHING MY FAMILY OR ANYONE WHOS ABUSED ME HAS EVER DONE RIGHT LOL 🤪 KILL YOURSELF. You literally dont deserve anything you could ever benefit from being my friend. i hope all of you selfish drama-vampires, who apparently cant survive without gossiping like its fucking air, rot

[cadaveerie]

cw: child abuse and non-sexual grooming

VEILGUARD SPOILERS (from lucanis' writing, a mission towards the ending and a little general)

About Lucanis and the Antivan Crows...

after finishing datv, I can finally say for sure that despite the fact that i find this game was overall fine, there are several things about it that have disappointed me. one of those things is about lucanis (and it's not even the only thing about lucanis that bothers me, but we'll leave that discussion for another time, because there's a lot to say about the writing).

in this game, Caterina Dellamorte (lucanis and illario's grandmother) is portrayed as a woman that's cold and demanding. not particularly nice, lucanis fully acknowledges that she's not exactly the loving type, and it's easy to assume things about her and about their relationship based on that... but for some reason it's never addressed that she abused lucanis when he was a child, by beating him and starving him. this is something that you can read in lucanis' story in tevinter nights, the wigmaker job, which was lucanis' introduction.

"Memories of sweat-filled days without food or water came unbidden Lucanis’s back tingled from where his grandmother’s cane had bruised his flesh for letting his guard down or fumbling his footwork. For years, he’d hated her. But his time as a Master taught Lucanis that Caterina’s cruelty was her way he was prepared for this life—that he survived."

I was waiting to finish the game before I said it, because I expected him to mention at some point but... no, nothing. I don't know if there's anything in a codex or something specific I missed, but even if that's the case, I expected it to be significant at all. it wasn't.

i'm not even going to get into what lucanis should feel about this. before the game came out i talked about some of my hopes for him based on the info we had about him, and imo there was not even half of that level of depth to his character. but i wouldnt have minded if the game went in another direction, or if lucanis simply just wasnt open to discuss it, or if he came to the conclusion that it was fine. i won't get into how "problematic" thinking that is, because i could understand that he tells himself that, and as a fucking assassin, i understand that he's come to terms with it because otherwise he probably wouldnt have survived in such a dangerous enviroment. i won't get into it bc as i said, i can understand it. my problem is that lucanis never says it. he never tells rook or anyone else that caterina abused him, or that the crows overall are very abusive and that they do this to children and break their minds basically in order to become emotionless living weapons. and if this is said in any banter, then i missed it in my 91h of gameplay, and i had lucanis in my party every single time we went outside. or it might be in a codex entry, idk. the point is that even if that's the case, that's not a great way to tell this info, especially when in the story theres no other way to learn anything like this about the crows. ppl that i talked to that didnt read tevinter nights didnt know this fact abt caterina and lucanis' past, they simply didnt cause how could they. I just wanted to say this because I think it's important to know if you like lucanis, or the antivan crows, and it's never even actually implied.

I also have many other issues with his writing, but the antivan crows are unfortunately also whitewashed. at least if you've played dragon age origins you know this, but our first antivan crow companion, zevran, talks about how he was taken as a child by the antivan crows. how he was literally bought by them as an orphan, and forced to become an assassin, and when he tries to flee, they attempt to murder him throughout the game. he even talks about how apparently some crows even made their members go through blood magic rituals to acquire abilities (SOUND FAMILIAR? IT'S LITERALLY WHAT ZARA DOES TO LUCANIS, ISN'T IT. HOW FUCKED UP). i think it's so disrespectful to dragon age's worldbuilding and so appalling that they simply... ignored all of this. I'm very upset that this was completely whitewashed. i wont get into it, but i assume they didn't show the crows being awful because, well... they have to be the good alternative for government in antiva. the bad guys are the antaam, and that's it. but one of the things i always loved about dragon age is how they treat these sort of political things. as i said, in origins the crows were more of an antagonistic figure, but at least it made them feel more real and serious. and people loved the crows like they were, fucked up assassins. in this game... idk, am i supposed to believe the assassin guys are nice? why hide the ugly? of course it's gonna be there, and it's ok. irl it happens a lot that oppressed people have to rely on groups that are less than ideal for their liberation, and a lot of times citizens are kinda ok w it bc no one else will stand up for them, so they have to work w what they have, and they're just relieved theres someone there for them. and it also shows that people are not perfect victims. if you're putting ppl in a corner, at some point ppl are rarely gonna care about being "good", and it's only human. and im not even gonna get into being an antivan crow rook because... sigh, it's more of the same. just disappointing. rook even mentions that theyre an orphan. and im pretty sure in the final mission about treviso, at least if you helped jacobus, he is like "i'll take in orphans and give them a chance". oh man, yeah. cool. please tell me how you'll raise them to be, im so curious to see how you won't groom children and abuse them into becoming mindless cold soldiers. that's fucking insane. this feels like fucking US army levels of propaganda and grooming. i love when we normalize child soldiers that's so fucking awesome i love this "woke" game when it's pro-military and anti-fucking-questioning-anything-a-military-force-does.

i even wondered if all of this has been retconned or simply ignored. i dont have a problem w retconning overall, and it's only natural it would happen in a franchise that's as old as DA, but the thing is... why would you do it. it literally just makes them flatter, it doesn't make any fucking sense.

so yes. im VERY disappointed in this game and the writing. this is one of the many things in the writing that disappointed me. the antivan crows are an organization that bring hope, and im perfectly fine with them being portrayed as "saviors", but im not ok with them conveniently not addressing any of their very bad issues. it's unrealistic. it's disrespectful to our intelligence, to dragon age fans and to dragon age origins. it's disrespectful to characters like zevran, who got into an insane war with them for a fucking reason. it's disrespectful to every antivan crow character to be honest. and im sorry, i dont even think this is insane to ask from them. like.... im literally just asking for consistency. they had it already, i dont understand why they did this. i had faith in them, but perhaps that's on me. im so heartbroken.

and i promise i actually think the game overall is ok. it was fun. definitely one of my least favorite games, if not my least favorite, but still. i appreciate it, and LOVED. LOVEEED some scenes. in fact, it might have at the very least one of my favorite scenes from the whole franchise. i think this game has very low points, and very high points, so it's hard to say what i think about it in few words.... but there are so many things like this in the writing, and it's just SO upsetting and disrespectful. im sorry. im truly sorry, you don't know how much i wanted to love this game and the writing. you have no idea. but i have self respect, and i don't lie to myself when i see something i dont like. it feels like they're whitewashing the crows cause we'd be too stupid to understand complex political issues. i thought this game was mature and could handle mature themes, but it doesnt seem like it's the case anymore. perhaps bioware is dead. i still want to believe they can come back from this but......... the post credit scene doesnt reassure me AT ALL. sigh. im just upset and sad. and as i said, this is only one of my many issues. i'll talk about the rest in the future, but im writing all of it down and i need time for that. i hope you understand that this comes from a place of genuine love. sorry i can't be happy about this game, but some of the stuff i see just ruins the rest for me.

edit: someone told me that apparently theres a banter when you go to dellamorte's villa and lucanis *implies* that he was beat by his grandmother (at least to another antivan crow rook). this whole post still stands though. i think that should have not been a banter that i (and im sure others) missed. and again, it also ties to how i think the crows as an organization and their methods were whitewashed. even if it's not particularly a lucanis problem, it could have been to some extent addressed by him.

[hannieehaee]

Seventeen and the orange peel theory

orange peel theory

content: established relationship, fluff, etc.

wc: 860

a/n: it was fun trying to get a read on them for this hehe some of them were hard though 😭

masterlist

seungcheol -

he takes care of any and every single thing for you. even the most ridiculous of tasks, he does for you. you have a tiny little bit of coffee still on your lip? he wipes it with a napkin. missing a straw on your drink? goes back to the counter and gets one for you. you ask for an orange? that's child's play to him. the orange would be peeled without even so much as one look from you.

jeonghan -

he didnt know about the theory, nor would he think too much into a simple request of being handed an orange, so he wouldnt really think of peeling it for you. however, he loved sharing food with you, so he would probably peel it knowing the two of you would share it as you usually shared every meal. would technically have peeled it for you, but not entirely.

joshua -

he'd know you were testing him the moment you asked for an orange. he's seen the tiktoks. he knows about the metrics he needs to meet to qualify as a good boyfriend. yet he would play dumb just to see you pout at him as you believed him to fail the test. wouldn't let it go for too long before letting you in on the joke and promising to even plant you a whole orange tree if necessary.

jun -

would peel it without even realize he was peeling it. blissfully unaware of the trend, so he'd be kinda confused as to why you looked so happy as he handed you a peeled orange. when you explained it to him he'd roll his eyes at the thought of any boyfriend whose first instinct wasnt to peel the orange for their s/o.

soonyoung -

he wouldn't think of peeling it at first, simply handing it to you as you asked and thinking nothing of it. only a few seconds later would the thought snap into his head, causing him to snag the orange right from your hand and going 'oh! let me peel it for you!', rushedly peeling the orange before placing it back in your hands.

wonwoo -

also would not peel it, not thinking anything of it (also, you didnt ask, so it didnt come to mind). if you asked him to peel it, though, he'd do it without question, which would lead to a habit of peeling any and every peelable fruit for you from then on.

jihoon -

wouldn't even think of peeling it for you, but not in a malicious way. he just wouldnt think of it as an important detail. if you explained the theory to him, he'd roll his eyes and claim it was a stupid measure of love. he's written far too many love songs about you for a stupid orange to put his love for you into question.

seokmin -

you want an orange? how about a peeled orange? how about a mouth-fed, peeled orange? he'd even do lil sound effects as he guided every piece into your mouth and encouraged you to eat. would ask you afterwards if you wanted another orange. bc he can get you one if you want. unless you want some other fruit? he can get you any snack you want, you dont even have to ask.

mingyu -

not only did he get you the orange and peel it for you, but he proceeded to buy you oranges every once in a while, assuming you must enjoy oranges. he'd be unaware of the theory, simply being a natural at taking care of his loved ones and babying them in every possible instance.

minghao -

he's seen the tiktoks and knows about the trend (which he found kinda silly), so he'd give you a knowing smile as he went to grab the orange you asked for, peeling it as he walked back to you. would call you silly and give you a kiss on the forehead while you happily ate your orange.

seungkwan -

you wouldnt even have to ask for the orange in the first place. he would hand feed you pieces of tangerine every day, arguing that he needed to make sure you ate your daily dosage of fruits every single day. whoever invented this theory did not take boo seungkwan's existence into consideration.

vernon -

very similarly to wonwoo, he would not peel it unless you asked, not wanting to assume that you wanted something you did not ask for. if you asked him, though, he would peel it and ask if you wanted him to peel your fruits from now on. you'd have to remind him about it once or twice in the future, but he'd always do it without complaint.

chan -

he'd consider peeling the orange for you, but would think that maybe you wouldnt want him touching the fruit. i mean, if he asked someone for a banana he'd expect to be handed a banana with its peel intact. this was kinda the same, right? well, no. he would notice your dejected look immediately and ask you what was wrong. when you explained, he'd apologize and explain his logic, showing himself to have passed the test on a technicality.

[carpedzem]

i think mcyt cc are playing losing game in how they treat dteam. i think they dont understand that a lot of stans, when they are forced to leave for one reason or another, they do leave mcyt space all together. like the moment shit goes down im not interested in watching people who left dteam and even more im not interested in watching people who were so tryhard to see their downfall. i know it happens sometimes people just switching ccs but even looking at the numbers, mine and craft is not as popular as it was 2 or 3 years ago. and sure the big boom happened during pandemic and we now live in different reality but i think that a lot of people just leaves and when they leave upset, they want it all gone from their lives. like i cant imagine tapping into jm stream after dropping dt like ever. i regularly block and mute ccs that i just dont want to see in my recommendations. there's also a whole thing of how they act in general. its not about that they finally proved to me that dt are evil people but bc how they treated past situations - usually in an awful way

im thinking about it bc i recently watched matpat final game theory and he actually talked about it in his vid. he mentioned how yt is is a game in which everyone can win through collaboration - ironically he even used qsmp as an example! and as contrast he mentioned beauty community that started fighting between themselves to gain viewers and steal them from other youtubers. and by the end every watcher was fed up with this behaviour and they left all together. and i wouldnt be surprised if mcyt wasnt on the same path. people mostly watch ccs for entertainment not to be involved in drama constantly. and when never ending discourse just keep happening they move to another thing that is less draining. and this is what is happening with mcyt. not only dt is losing views but every single cc in that group as well

[nyx-is-missing]

Graceland too

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (Athena's kid)

Sumarry: When a certain daughter of Athena felt unappreciated her whole life, someone was there to see her.

Warnings: Sad girl hours, shitty parenthood, hurt/comfort because im no monster and probably other things wich i forgot.

a/n: look who is back!

Demigod.

Half blood.

Half a goddess.

Half a human (?).

And yet, fully a disappointment.

When Athena sent me to my Dad's house, in a golden crib, dressed in pure white dress, glowing, how the myths would expect a demigod to be, then, and only right then i was a gift.

A piece o divine love, something to prove to him, till the end of his life, that at some point, he was good enough for a Goddess.

But days after, immediately, i was just a crying baby, hungry, with a busy father, without a mother, and that only made him remember that, that was it.

He wasnt good enough for her, she wasnt staying, she never even actually even considered, he would never have that kind of honour, only a crying baby he never expected.

I wasnt a gift anymore, it actually felt like i was a insult, everything about me started to enrage him.

And oh, how did he reminded me of that every single day of my existence.

When i got diagnosed with dyslexia all i've heard whas that Athena gave me up to him because i was defective, when i couldnt sit still during classes, and exploded with all the repression i suffered everyday, suddently i was a clock bomb, when my grades where great, i was never rewarded, it was "the least i could do, to make up for the shame that i was".

I was never loved, never wanted, never encouraged, at least not by him.

The very little love i've known in my life, i own to the people who felt pitty of me.

The teachers, the neighbours who have heard the insults, the stray animals who could sense sadness, the very old grandparents who never actually saw me more than twice a year, and the people who worked at a nerby library, who let me stay past closing time, leaving only with the cleaners.

I was 12 when he had enough and sent me to camp, literally the very day school was over.

I came home to my clothes packed and him waiting by the car keys.

Being in camp for the first time, was also the very first time in my life i have ever felt....normal.

Not good, not bad, not great, not terrible, i was one, and that was enough.

I spend that summer being quiet, i sat in the corner, i didnt spoke, i didnt interrupted, i didnt had any ideas, i wasnt good enough to do that, thats what i've been told my whole life, thats my true.

It took a whole new summer for Athena to claim me.

I have always wondered if she was fighting with herself, if she had any problems having to admit that she made a mistake, with me, or with him.

It didn't matter, for the first time i had brothers and sisters, who wanted me, who understood when i wasnt the best, who asked for my graded tests, to put up in the wall.

They understood when i was hard to crack, when i insisted in being quiet, when i wouldnt share my ideas, they understood it all.

I didn't.

Each and every new summer i spent there, all i could ask myself was:

Why could i not be great like all of them?

Why im still afraid?

Why i was still useless?

Im now sixteen and the same questions still were unanswered.

And today i felt worse than ever.

It was my birthday, and i havent got a single letter from him, nothing, nothing.

It felt like he was saying i wasnt worth anything again.

Earlier, i tried to pretend nothing was happening, smiling with my siblings, finally making plans for capture the flag, finally belonging like i promissed i would try to do that year.

My plan was used, it wasnt perfect, but it was used, and surprising myself and the other team, we won.

I could see the other team confused, and Clarisse cussing us to death.

Still i was so happy, for the first time in my life i showed myself, and i worked....partially.

The happiness of victory didnt last much in me, because i saw a new brother of mine almost bursting to tears, he was young and just got claimed a few days ago, he wasnt used to that, and he wasnt supose to get hurt, but the red that painted his arms said otherwise.

I couldnt stare at him without feeling like i failed again.

Why couldnt i be perfect for once?

I took him to infirmary and held his hand while he was getting his stiches, saying sorry all the time.

I tried thinking it was okay, people get hurt, move on.

I had diner, i took a bath, i tried to sleep, i couldnt.

The tears were falling down and i knew i wouldn't be quiet.

So i got up and walked to the cabin's porch, sitting on the last step and letting my head fall to my knees.

Why couldnt i be great?

Why couldnt i be in peace with myself?

Why couldnt my mom bless me?

Why couldnt my dad love me?

Why did he had to be so mean?

I was a kid for fucks sake.

"Are you okay?" I heard someone saying, that made me freeze, that voice was not from any of my sisters, was i crying so hard i woke up someone from other cabin?

"I- yes, sorry i didn't knew i was crying so hard to wake people from other cabins, im sorry"

"You didn't, i was sneaking out to train some more, and saw you, our cabins face each other"

That was...Clarisse?

I wiped my tears and look up, she was staring at me with a almost worried look

"Clarisse?"

"Yes, why are you crying?"

She sat down by my side, dropping a sword in the grass.

"Its nothing really, im fine, you dont need to bothe-"

"No, cut the crap" she stopped me mid sentence "no one ever weeps in the middle of the night out of happiness, you are not fine and im not letting you lie OR leave until you tell me what it is"

We stare at each other, and ill need to thank the night light being bad because i probably look like crap right now, im sure my eyes are red, my nose too, im probably with a very swollen face and id bet all the dracmas i own that my hair its no better than a nest of birds.

"Go on...tell me"

I layed myself in the stairs, looking at the sky, trying to think of a way to tell everything, without sounding crazy

"I dont deserve to be here, Clarisse."

"Here..where?"

"This cabin, i dont deserve to be called daughter of the goddess of wisdom, i dont deserve being here with them, my siblings they are great, more than good, great, they will do great things with themselfs, amazing writers, architects, brilliant musicians, historians, why am i here? Im not even good, why im with the great?"

"Wait wait wait" she made me sit down again and look at her "not even good? What are you talking about? Wasnt the strategy in the last capture the flag yours? Yall won, and if somebody asks me later i've never said this but that was good, some really good strategy, i was almost thinking of asking chiron to switch you teams, you were great, more than that, and now you're here telling me you are not egen good? Are you on drugs?"

"Clarisse you dont need to pretend you care that much, and my plan wasnt all that, my brother got hurt, that wasnt supose to happen, i failed him, if i was good enough he wouldnt even be there"

She had a very confused look on her face, like she really did not knew what i was talking about.

"You're not talking about the little boy you took to the infirmary and that small cut in his forearm are you? Cause that boy was far from almost dying like you are making it sound like-" she looked at my eyes, i didnt needed a mirror to have sure how i was, i've seen myself like that too much to count, everytime my dad said i wasnt good enough, sad, lifeless.

"I failed again Clarisse, im not good enough to be here, im useless, worthless"

She looked at me and did the last thing i tought she would, Clarisse hugged me.

"Dont say that, c'mon, worthless? I've seen you fight, i've seen your plans, you dont talk much but i've heard your ideas, you are far from being useless or worthless, who the fuck told you that?"

"My f- you heard me?" I looked at her, only to see a look i couldnt distinguish "what do you mean?"

She looked at her own feet, then at her sword, reflecting the moonlight.

"You really dont know?" She looks at me "i- well, i've heard you, the same way i see you everyday, thats how i know you like morning walks, sweet green grapes, baked goods...how i know you are probably the only child of Athena who has never read "the art of war", that you walk without looking at peoples faces....its weird, i've seen you so much throughout this years and it feels like this is the first time you are actually seeing me"

"But i've saw you before-"

"Thats not what i was saying, you looked at me many times, but did you ever saw me until today?"

I looked at her blinking, and after a moment of silent i said "you like dark chocolate, and lemon flavoured soda, and sneaking out to train when the harpies take their breaks, by the way you missed that, and you always ask for double the quantity of food you eat, so when you burn it you still can eat enough, by the way i stole that idea-"

She is smilling, big, really big, i think i am too.

Of course i saw Clarisse, who wouldnt, she was strong, brave, beautiful, to me was a wonder she didnt had people running to get her attention.

She got closer to me "does that mean i can-" i stopped her mid sentence again

"Maybe..."

"Im going to make you forget that "im not good enough" nonsense, belive me"

She is smilling while kissing me, and i am too.

[ifimdreaming]

its all my fault

quinn hughes x reader || angst

authors note: sorta rewrote this but i still dont love it. mild cw: alcohol, fighting, toxic relationship protrayed

word count: 1.6k

-

“why do you act like ive never told you this bothers me? Every single time you go out, you stay all night and get drunk, and then come home at 4am and act oblivious as to how I could possibly be upset at you.” you say knowing that talking to him in this state is like arguing with a brick wall.

Without answering you, Quinn stumbles around the apartment discarding clothes from his body on his way towards the bathroom, and you watch as they fall carelessly to the floor.

It wasnt like this was an everyday occurrence, but it was happening more and more often and you knew it was getting worse. In the beginning of your relationship the two of you used to go out together. Always together. 

And it wasnt that you didnt like going out anymore, it was just that you didnt like the way he acted when you went out with him. So you stopped going. It was the same everytime. Always getting drunk whether you were drinking or not and never caring about spending any time with you at all. It was always about making himself feel good. Or maybe just to feel nothing. 

To be honest you didnt know why he was drinking to the point of complete and utter insensibility, and it hurt you the first time you brought it up to him. It was over dinner and he insisted you both finish a second bottle of wine. Again. On a thursday night;

-

“Why dont we just save it for the weekend? I dont mind having a glass or two over dinner, but it seems unnecessary to be drinking so much on a weekday, no?” you say cautiously.

Your boyfriend is sitting across from you with a hazy look in his eyes. you watch him fiddle with the bottle of wine as he places it on his lap momentarily. His left hand is around the throat of the bottle as he begins anxiously picking at the cork with his right hand. 

“Are you insinuating something?” Quinn says without making eye contact. 

His eyes stay peering down at the bottle in his lap as he speaks, then at your both empty glasses that are sat across from each other at the table and you can feel the heat in your cheeks intensifying. 

“Im just trying to look out for you..its not that i d-” you start but are quickly cut off by your half-drunk boyfriend.

“Then whyd you bring it up? What does the day of the week have to do with it?” He says with a mocking tone.

Quinn didnt raise his voice. He never would. But honestly what he said caught you off guard. It wasnt that you were scared of him, you were just worried about what he was doing to himself, his career, his relationship with you, his future - so many things were running through your head. 

You knew it was all getting worse too, and it was hard for you to admit it to yourself because you knew he was refusing to admit it himself. His absolute defensiveness is what you knew would be the hardest wall to tear down.

“Forget it. Lets just finish dinner, ok?” you say picking up your fork and trying to just forget the whole conversation. You hoped he would just forget about the alcohol altogether but deep down you knew it would be brought up again.

-

Following after him seemed like the most daunting task in the world right now. It was like living with a teenager at this point. And you knew it wasnt your job to take care of him. You wouldnt put up with that. 

But its been weeks, and here you are. Putting up with it.

“Quinn, we need to talk about this. Can you come out here?” you say as you begin down the hall to find him.

Although you say this calmly, as you walk further down the hallway you can hear him vomiting on the other side of the bathroom door and your anger suddenly intensifies. It makes you cringe hearing the sounds of his booze emptying into the toilet. Mostly because of how much it frustrated you how often this occurred.

Regardless of the state he was in when he walked in the front door, you knew once he was done throwing up his guts, he would be sober enough to talk to you at least 70% sensibly.

Waiting was the worst part. Recalling all of the other nights he came home in this state. Fearing he’ll completely ignore your attempts to talk this through. Worrying this might end up the night he finally lands himself in the hospital. 

After hearing silence for more than a minute you softly knock on the bathroom door.

“Just give me a fucking minute… Please?” Quinn says with a growl in his voice that he softly lets up as he speaks, knowing he shouldnt be talking to you that way.

You want to walk away so badly, but manage to stand your ground. 

“Im waiting right here.” you say proudly, but also, defeatedly.

Honestly you didn't understand how you had so much patience this late at night.

Finally Quinn opens the door. He slowly walks out towards you and looks terrified to face you. You didnt want your relationship to be this way. The overarching feeling of dread lingering over the both of you.

“Can you just try and understand where im coming from?” You begin to say,

“Just put yourself in my perspective.” You add quietly.

His eyes were clearly tired and you could see them gently squinting as he stares at your lips. Trying desperately to comprehend every word coming out of your mouth.

Maybe he wasnt getting it. Maybe he genuinely didnt understand how big of a toll his drinking has taken on your relationship - On your lives.

“Its not that easy.” He says in a whisper, matching his tone with yours.

“Ok?... Its not easy? I know its not that easy.” you try to hold back the disgust in your voice as you say this, but fail.

You close your eyes and air lets out from your nose in disapproval. You cant help it. Under communicating was what Quinn did best. He knew exactly how to piss you off and it was working right off the bat. 

“Are you going to let me explain or are you just gonna keep up the disappointed girlfriend act?” Quinn says as he looks at you through the doorway of the bathroom, leaning his shoulder on the wall.

He watches you as you uncross your arms, trying to appear open to whatever he is going to say next. But he stays silent which infuriates you even more.

“Go ahead Quinn! Its about goddamn time you explain yourself!” you knew yelling is not the right approach but just couldnt contain your frustration any longer.

Quinn takes a step towards you and you can tell he is desperately holding himself back from just giving up on this conversation altogether. 

He runs his hands through his hair, holding himself back from his anger and looks utterly defeated. And suddenly it is really hard to be angry at him. You can tell he has no idea how to express himself to you in this moment.

You were scared if you got any closer to him you would just hold him and never let go.

“I dont know whats wrong with me… I dont want to make excuses to you because i know you can see right through my bullshit.” Quinn begins and his voice wavers, “But i dont know whats wrong.” He repeats.

His eyes are bloodshot and glossy as he peers into yours. 

“Its unforgivable. How ive treated you? Its horrible.  makes me feel like shit to think about that.” He says.

His apology of sorts made you sad. You felt sorry for him, but mostly you wondered how much of this he'll remember in the morning.

You fight back tears as you continue looking at him without a word. You were afraid if you spoke it would open up the flood gates of your tears and you didnt want that.

Quinn scans your face looking for any clue whatsoever as to what you could be thinking before he brings his gaze back to your eyes. You couldn't stand the prolonged eye contact any longer so you look down at his fingers and watch as he begins to pick at his cuticles, his anxiety clearly getting the better of him. 

His hands are red and calloused and the only thing you can focus on. Suddenly the urge to hold them takes over.

You walk towards him and grab his hands in yours. Quinn immediately accepts your touch. He steps even closer towards your body and rests his chin at the top of your head, your forehead resting lightly on his chest. And for some reason the simplicity of his embraces finally brings you to tears.

You sob into his chest and he grips the back of your neck tightly, your hair wrapping messily in his hand. His other hand wraps around your body, pulling you into a tight hug. The sounds of your sobbing fills the room and almost begins to embarrass you with how loud it is.

Your arms grasped Quinn so strongly it almost hurt you to hold him that tightly. Everything hurt. Your throat burned as you continued crying, your eyes stung from your mascara bleeding into them, your body was physically and mentally exhausted from staying up all night worrying about Quinn. 

He was all you could think about and you really wouldn't be surprised if he was beginning to lose oxygen from your grip on him in this moment.

“Its all my fault. Everything.” Quinn chokes out and its then that you realize he is crying too.

He strokes your head gently and you let him console you.

But honestly you didn't know if allowing him to console you after being the reason for your pain was toxic or romantic.  

-

-

[anemos-orca]

Cat Boy Xiao? How About Dragon Boy Xiao!

cw: just fluff, no NSFW :DDD, established relationship (Xiao x Reader), gender neutral reader

summary: DragonBoy!Xiao things :3 Xiao has two little horns, two tiny dragon wings, a long, flowing tail with a crest of fur running from base to tip, clawed hands, slitted pupils, a forked tongue, long fur covered ears on the sides of his head (i think its cuter than them being on top of his head >:3), and heightened senses.

a/n: ahh i have been thinking of xiao as a dragon boy lately so i decided to write some headcanons! I havent seen a dragon boy xiao so i figured itd be neat >:3

series tag: #《》Dragonboy!Xiao

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DragonBoy!Xiao whos wings would flinch at the slightest touch- you knew they were incredibly sensitive, but sometimes you couldnt help yourself! The way they stretched and fluttered in the morning was too cute to resist, even if he bat your hand away like a cat every single time. They were just so small and endearing, how could you not want to touch them? He couldnt fly with them, not in his human form at least- they were too small. If he could choose to not have wings in his humam form, he would do away with them in an instant.

DragonBoy!Xiao whos actual dragon form towered over you- it was bigger than any other animal you had ever seen, even bigger than the Lone Suanni of the Vale. You hated the way he would swoop you up like a little toy and bury you under his wings like a mother bird, even if it was so warm and cozy when he snuggled you up against his fluff. Despite being so huge, he was incredibly gentle with you, even when handling you with his scarily sharp talons.

DragonBoy!Xiao who wraps his tail around you every single time youre close enough. He claims its instinctual and he cant control it, or that his tial has a mind of its own and he doesnt notice, but you know full well hes just trying to save face. He does it on purpose, wanting to hold you close to him and feel your body heat next to his. Clearly, hand-holding wasnt enough.

DragonBoy!Xiao who gets flustered when you play with his horns- theyre supposed to be scary, not intruiging! He would blush intensely and vehemently avoid eye contact so you wouldnt notice how his once slitted pupils were now blown out as he struggled to hold back his purring. Petting them was like petting his ears- speaking of which, they were incredibly soft and expressive. They flicked and rotated and twitched with every little sound and touch, flattening back when he felt agitated and pinning forwards when he felt excited. They were the one thing he didnt ever deny pets for. He always melted right into your touch the moment you rubbed his ears, closing his eyes and unleashing a waterfall of purring.

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a/n: ive got to draw dragon boy xiao omg expect to see some art of him soon :3

[burnedwriter]

thinking abt alhaitham/kaveh/itto with a s/o who practically acts real bossy with them but becomes absolutely dumb when they get fucked. if its okay w u, could u pls write abt them (or any one of them) railing the brains out of their s/o after a day of bossing them around? no rush, and feel free to write as you please! thank you!

A/n:thank you anon for the req!,i apologise for the wait,i didnt forgot your req,my inbox is in flames right now soooo,i hope you enjoy,i wrote about all 3 of them because i just couldnt choose one

warnings:smut,!gender-neutral language used,doggystyle(itto),against the table(kaveh),degrading(alhaitham),rough sex,teasing,gagging.

🌱al haitham

''are you done bossing me around all day you little slut,dont forget who is the real boss here''al haitham groaned in your ear,his chest pressed against your back as he pounded into you.

''what are you too cock drunk to answer''he teased you seeing no reply from you but only moans,his fingers deep inside your mouth gagging you as you drooled all over them,unable to form a single sentence but only reply with moans.

Al haitham thrusting into you at a fractic pace,his frustration showing with each one of his thrust,one more brutal than the other.He wasnt the hotheaded type nor the type to loose his cool at anything,and now you learned the hard way that you fucked up really bad on why you shouldnt make him mad

His strong thrusts knocking the the air out of your lunges,as you held into the bed sheets for dear life,al haitham was not going to stop anytime soon and its was going to a long night for you.

🏛kaveh

''oh kaveh please~''you cried out,your legs pushed onto either side of your head as kabveh fucked into your hole,he couldnt hold back anymore,he tried to be patient with you but afte today you took it too far with your bullshit,couldnt you wait for one hour until he was done with his assignment or do you wanted him to fail?you were suprised he was so patient for so long.

''where is your bossy attitude now hmm''kaveh said with a mocking tone,seeing how your eyes rolled at the back of your head everytime he trusted into you,your mind felt hazy.

''i-im sorry kaveh''you tried to beg for forgiveness from him but you were too fucked out of your mind to form a sentence,your mouth gapping open the only thing coming out being your moans.

''by the time im done with you the only thing you will be screaming is my name''he huffed still frustratedas his pace never slowed down and became more brutal.

👹itto

itto is not the type to loose his but....he was so done with you,he already had kuki to boss him around all the time but you...you were a different type of bossy,you wouldnt stop talking until what you wanted got done.

''fuck itto slow down~''you whine,itto showing no mercy as he pounded deep into you at a brutal pace,while he pulled your hair as he fucked you from behind.

''You think you can boss me around''he growled his merciless pace never stopping one bit,you mind felt blank unable to think a smart comeback anymore you were basicly moaning mess at this point.You have never seen the oni be so frustrated with your attitude before which was really out of character for him to do so.

itto hit your sweet spot over and over again with his cock earning more moans from you in the process,brace yourself because it was going to be a long night for you as the oni wasnt going to stop anytime soon until he gets his messages across.