#there was never room for OURs
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But somewhere over the last year I lost you, the person I still love deeply. Whoever you are now is someone else. I tried to reach you, find you again, but who you are now who you became I don't even consider as a friend.
#you got lost on the way#strange things can happen#when thinking about all the things that went wrong and all the hurt you caused it makes me think I might have loved a phantom#at the end of February you had already changed a lot#people can keep up with a wrong version of themselves for approximately two to three months#is that the explanation?#and still here I am dancing with your ghost#still you're not a hundred percent gone#there is still a tiny silly hope#but with some time I'll set myself free#even if it all was true the colors you showed me in the end didn't align with mine#you're satisfied with YOUR life#there was never room for OURs#feels like I was supposed to just fit in in yours#I mean if I would have gotten pregnant what did you expect?#a pregnant girlfriend who's supposed to give birth between two flats?#wouldn't have worked out like that#at least not for me#but that's what I mean by saying 'you are completely satisfied with YOUR life#feels like we never had a true chance because we never grew together#at least not in enough ways#we never formed our own home#maybe that's why we never got our little Braten#I miss what we had#I am in deep pain and at the same time kinda relieved#it's strange on one hand I feel like all our the troubles this relationship caused all the pain of losing my man in the end makes it hard to#breath and swallow#at the other hand I can breathe in way deeper than I could those last nine/ten months#a burden is lifted#the heart aches nevertheless
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None of our hands are clean
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangshan#mianmian#The secret meaning behind one of the jin members scuttling off is:#I couldn't make three people work out in the remaining panels and per my rule of '3 attempts and take a different approach' he had to go.#Sometimes there are meaningful reasons why something happens in the background. And sometimes it is like this.#Let's just say he saw what was about to happen and got out of there before mianmian started throwing hands.#Okay no more delay. The sheer boldness to call WWX a killer in a room full of people who wear their war body count as a badge...#It's about hypocrisy yes - but it is also about how the narrative shifts on the same action depending on the frame.#Because at the end of the day...the blood on our hands is still blood on our hands.#Both the deaths on the battlefield and the deaths of the Jin's abusing the Wen remnants are still deaths caused by another.#They are also deaths that - depending who holds the frame - are noble acts to protect others.#But it isn't supposed to be about who was right and who was wrong.#It is about the need to be seen as the victim to avoid culpability.#Because if you aren't responsible you don't have to be held accountable. You don't have to grow or change.#If someone takes all the blame then there is no need to reflect on your own faults.#We have to protect our fragile ego from the mirror lest it shatter and we have to remake it anew.#Horrifically enough...even if WWX spared the Jin guards or even never ran into Wen Qing#He wouldn't have been able to escape being the scapegoat. He downfall was set into motion a long time ago.#My goodness...What a deliciously tragic story Wei Wuxian's first life was.
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catch us if you can! ☆
#the drawings that made my ipad scream in agony#project sekai#polysho#polysho week 2024#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#pjsk#prsk#proseka#colorful stage#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#and tbh theyre pretty overt so#emukasa#ruinene#emks walk into a store in plain clothes and see rui and nene and emu goes Tsukasakun its the detectives we have to hide !!!!!#and tsukasa goes heh.. no need emu.. without our genius disguises snd hair extensions on they wont recognize a thing!!!#(both talking at 200db) (nene voice) Are they stupid?#ruis just a bit too happy about being consistently outsmarted to notice. emks is only winning at phantom thievery by looney tunes logic tho#Emukasa are just team rocket-ing it. and wxs miku much like the detestable Meowth#POLYSHOW WEEK IS KILLING ME AND I ONLY DID 2 DAYS#i drew this whole thing literally just bc i wanted emu in the phantom thief suit. everything else was secondary#my petition to abolish the costume gender lock#I NEVER WANT TO LOOK. AT ANY OF THESE FUCKING OUTFITS EVER AGAIN. EVERRRR. NIGHTMARE DRAWING.#COUGHS UP BLOOD AND GOES TO LESVE THE ROOM BUT I HIT MY HEAD ON THE DOORFRAME AND BLACK OUT.#this is gonna be a bitch to post on instagram with it's Stupid fucking Crop. Guh#FUCK I FORGOT TO PUT THE SHADOW ON THEIR STUPID HANDCUFF LINK dont care dont feel like it [coughs up more blood
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the epic score is very fun in a lot of ways and odysseus murdering all the suitors at the end is delightfully chilling and very cathartic but i gotta say thinking abt odysseus’s perspective on that whole scene really makes me laugh like. you have been away from home for 20 years fighting first the biggest war in mythohistory and then what really seems like every fucking thing that could try to kill you in the entire adriatic sea. literally all your friends are dead and you just beat the shit out of an actual god to get back to the only two people in the world who matter to you anymore. and then you finally get back to your house after 20 FUCKING YEARS and it’s trashed bc a fucking frathouse worth of nepo babies who were like ten last time you saw them moved in while you were gone, bullied your family for well over a decade, and are currently planning how they’re gonna murder your son and assault your wife. no wonder he’s fuckin pissed
#i imagine he got into the palace and was just like. ‘oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me’#and then they stay shockingly cocky about killing him for a surprisingly long time??? and their plan is to ambush him in HIS OWN HOUSE?????#‘we know the palace so well dude he’ll never see us coming’ bitch WHAT are u talking about it’s HIS PALACE#the sheer audacity is honestly breathtaking#epic the ithaca saga#epic the musical#‘hey look all our weapons conveniently piled in this unlocked room!! wow it’s a good thing he just forgot to lock the door!!’#‘it would have been rough if we had to face the famously strategic and cunning warrior king without our suspiciously accessible weapons!!’#theyre so insufferable and also so fucking stupid it makes it really cathartic to hear them get absolutely bodied by greece’s Most Tired Man#odysseus#the suitors
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Dottore: *dies* Signora: Timer starts now! When is he coming back? I say two months! Crucabena: Bullshit. One month. Pierro: Nah, half a month. Pantalone, new to the Fatui, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DOTTORE JUST DIED! Columbina, scratching chin in thought: One week.
#They were all wrong#it was a segment and dottore came into the room 2 minutes later#so technically i guess columbina won?#genshin impact#incorrect quotes#fatui#fatui harbingers#columbina#crucabena#dottore#signora#pantalone#i wish they‘d release some more info on who joined when#so i could more accurately do these#like what if pantalone died after crucabena died??#that annoys me with her in particular- because she‘s a side character we‘re never gonna know more details about her#like how old is she?? is she one of the multiple centuries old humans? was she just a regular 40smth year old woman who joined??#I NEED ANSWERS HOYO#also was crucabena also ranked 4th? is she the missing 10th and we‘re all getting our hopes up for a secret harbinger for nothing?#pierro
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Back in the early 2000s, the Wicked OBC soundtrack came out, and I devoured it. Wicked immediately became part of my personality. I remember sitting in pre-algebra, reading and re-reading the McGuire book, listening to the soundtrack so often that even now, several decades later, I can breathe in time with the music. And then, as a birthday gift, my family took me to see the touring production. I was so excited. I was so jazzed. It was the fulfillment of every Broadway-loving Midwestern teen's dreams, to finally---finally---see the musical she has been pining for since she grabbed the soundtrack off the livejournal swap.
............shortly thereafter, I walked out of that production with my love of Wicked stone dead.
At the time, I chalked it up to the difference between imagination (no budget/labor/time constraints; physics is optional) and reality (physics exist; so does accounting). However, it's now been almost 20 years, they can do some real nifty stuff with CGI, so I can say with confidence...the version I came up with in my bedroom as a bored teen remains better.
#my aunt bought me the show book. I still have it.#copyright 2006.#it's got pictures of idina menzel and kristen chenoweth and megan hilty. very strange to think about.#and to be fair there are some moments where the film gives the script room to breathe#and delivers without dialogue what a musical never could. it gives more grounding for the character beats.#but the book and the soundtrack fight each other like crazy in all versions; it's unfortunate.#anyway more importantly now I can watch the musical about a drug dealer who gets a sex change!!!#that is much more my speed.#a proscenium for our dreams
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what draws you back to your country what draws you back to your land when i was a kid i told myself if i ever left iran i'd never go back 2 years into living in the UK i started looking at news on iran again 10 years in and i visited it for the first time again and today i heard an iranian mother talk in farsi to her child on the train to london the way my mother used to and i wanted to cry i wanted to ask her whether they're still cutting the mountaintops whether the lakes are still drying today i showed the person i was with pictures of waterfalls and palaces and forests and snow-white north something odd pulls me back with increasing force i can't ignore it ever again
#i just dont know how else to tell you everything !!! santoor from a different room the large family gathering the black tea with saffron#drank out of delicate glass and gold vessels cold marble on hot nights big stars big rivers big mountains#visible from busy tehran roads the ease of conversation tension eased by sarcasm tall tall cliffsides you drive by#rushing to put on headscarves before the head teacher comes in a rave by the base of damavand massive sun pastel purple skies#disjunct architecture trucks on road sides with fresh fruits pomegranates watermelons oranges everywhere#the smell of golpar on tangerines beautiful girls in tehran holding hands bautiful boys in kermanshah speaking kurdish the janky#cars on the verge of breakdown held together by love caspian sea lighting up in spring staying up into the morning on noruz#my friends uncle sang and played setar his son played the violin a little fear a lot of love remnants of something#grand carved into the cliffside everything feels bigger taller the landscape swallows you it smells like#illegally imported wine and orange blossoms and auntie's tahchin soaking your eyes in warm tea when youre sick#tomatoes and salt concrete and stone something mandmade and something raw new flag old resilience#the anger getting to us bruised eyes big grin all i know is the north i feel sorry my mother asks if id be okay#if they got a place in tajikistan we love each other enough dont we? when we look in the mirror we see each other. theres a love letter#across the border and it says I MISS YOU IM GLAD YOURE DOING BETTER itll never be the same im not okay with it at all there are no more#stars i miss jumping over big fires i miss our fireworks im sorry we cant be happy anymore everyone#leaves the mint and rosewater and sunlight for a reason.#it's not pride it's just generational regret
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so… we did a thing today. feeling insane rn.
#the goldfinch#the goldfinch (2019)#theo decker#boris pavlikovsky#boreo#donna tartt#a complete out of body experience#literally felt like their spirits were in the room#asked the guy who worked there if he knew about it and he’d never heard of the film which was very funny#but we had the time of our lives#i need sedating
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they talk about testosterone gel like it’s the fentanyl of hrt
#after u apply ur dime sized dose of quickly-evaporating gel#make sure you put on at least three layers seal yourself inside a plastic bubble and don’t let anyone else into the room#for at LEAST 6 hours#to really make sure you don’t spread any of this miracle poison to any innocents#<<all sarcasm#if it really worked as well as people warn about#dont u think transmascs and cismen alike would be slathering themselves head to toe?#aside from the possibility that someone might have an allergic reaction (i have no idea how common that sort of allergy might be tho)#i have never heard a valid reason for all the fearmongering#like. my coworker should not be scared of *standing too close* to our other *also tmasc* coworker on days he’s applied gel#you guys could sit in each others laps and nothing would happen its fine#its all a bit silly i think
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#you#...#you...#Congrats with surviving... I hope it wasn't too bad...#We had something similar last year#We live in a kind of a distant village#And our streets are connected to one heating system#And it was so cold last year that this station just broke#Me and my sister have been without water electricity and heat first day *giggle* It was funny to wear 2 complects of cloths and jacket#It was... like... -14 inside of home? *giggle*#On the second day we at least got electricity back and got a little heater (We were separated from parents so the have been calling 3#times per day XDD) We closed all doors to not let the heat outside#Since we got sick and couldn't take a shower#We were able to go to school but we looked like shit XDD#Then we were lying next 2 days like potatoes in one room with a heater... it felt awful XDD#They couldn't fix the main heating system for almost 3 days#It was... funny.... never want to experience the same again and hope you will not too
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XiaoLiang had a mental break that we didn't feel like dealing with, so we put him in a transport pod and sent him back to Arwell—with Rand to keep an eye on him and also to get her out of our hair as well.
Bonus image of Mechi's intrusive thoughts
This desert is so goddamn crowded...
Komnenos was rescued from the pirates and shooed off our lawn, and probably reminded the lads on her way out that The Empire is still waiting to do Yeoman bestowing ceremonies for the both of them.
We've had our constructoids building a throneroom over the last few days, so after the lads give it a test run with some meditation, maybe we'll have to get them both their new titles...
They didn't really strike me as "royal gossip" types, but at least they're enjoying their throne room, I guess.
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#rimworld#gracie plays#A Mechanitor's message#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#poor XiaoLiang#he never seems to enjoy the time he spends at Sparks#oh well#he's home now and Rand has a new place to explore#hopefully she enjoys it there#and hopefully Komnenos and her squad don't fly near us again#There's nothing out here except our colony#is The Empire spying on us???#rude#we're not doing anything except polluting the ocean and buiding robots#oh actually#I think The Empire are anti-robot#I'll have to check but that's probably why they're spying#damn#ah well#we have a throne room now!!#we'll be Yeomen next time#how excitement!!!#have a wonderful day everybody!#sorry for the delayed update <3 <3 <3
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Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...
(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)
#tiger tiger#remy bonnaire#Arno#jamis arlesi#f slur mention#(Remy is allowed to say it. Jury is still out on Jamis though.)#I love that disco elyisum comic so much. I have it saved in several places so I can find it to show people. I lost it once. Never. Again.#Hard lesson about redrawing/heavily referencing a beloved comic is that you will feel so inferior to its genius.#I did my best but I feel like I didn't hit the high notes I wanted. Such is art!#At the end of the day I have to remind myself that I'm still on a journey and not every piece is going to be my best.#Yeah I'm still on my Tigers propagana train. Toot Toot. All abord or perish to the Tigers.#I hear tigers are running the Olympics this year. That's right. It's tigers all the way down.#Obscure references aside; time to talk tigers spoilers:#I was absolutely losing my mind at Remy taking Jamis to the Starfall. He did *not* expect to be in a gay bar.#Jamis is our beloved bisexual lad but I don't think he's fully in tune with it yet.#How down right unfortunate that he is also the hottest cub in the room. Will he realize? What will he realize? Who Knows!#Thank you to everyone who checked out Tiger Tiger from my recommendations!#And thank you to my fellow Tigers fans for receiving my comics with open arms. Next comic will be about Rat Man.
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realizing i do this thing that i really really hate which is when i’m originally super excited about something but the default reaction is something negative i’ll eventually just start spouting off a million disclaimers every time i bring it up. like yeah i’m majoring in creative writing haha don’t worry i know i’m never gonna make any money haha i’m definitely going to just get a practical job and publish on the side maybe if i’m lucky!! like NO bitch have some confidence in yourself😭😭 goddamn i’m such a pushover
#did this with minnesota too#i was so excited to move and it was my top choice state#and so many people reacted negatively that now every time i tell someone i’m moving im automatically like#yeah it’s gonna be really cold!! haha probably won’t survive the winter!!#which is like. TRUE but i hate that those statements now override my original excitement#anyway was thinking about this bc my mom now knows about my major#which means i had to hear her ex boyfriend bitching about how im never going to make any money#in the middle of our living room at 9 am#like. thanks for the input patrick. jesus#anyway idk if this is relatable im just tired#personal
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if you have a peephole/can check who is outside without being seen in any way, assume that you do not recognize this person and it's not a delivery guy
#interested to see what the people say 🤔#I never answer the door unless I or someone I live with is expecting someone/a package#not trying to get axe murdered or door to door salesmanned#important to note that our living room has giant windows to the porch and our front door has a window covered by a curtain and no peephole#but I wouldn't do it regardless lmao 😭#unless you text ahead I am not home#this does not include like sending someone else to the door btw. will YOU answer it#ghost posts#poll
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woke up to the cat on the bed cuddling with me: very normal she’s obsessed with me
sat up and saw the OTHER cat on the bed with me: ?????? AHHH!!!!! VERY exciting!!! Freaking out a little
She’s so timid and never sleeps on anyone’s bed with them so this is like kind of insane
#i literally stopped getting up to take my medicine when i saw her lol#we’ve had her for years but she’s never quite settled#since our house is way louder/bigger/more populated than her previous place was#like she’s fairly confident in herself and affectionate but she’s always a bit weird about being in the same room as people#but!! she’s been sleeping in my room on this bag i have a lot lately#and i catch her on my bed sometimes when i’m not in there#and now!! bam!!! waking up to double the kitties apparently#i took over a lot of the cat care when i moved back in and try to make a point to care for them and play with them#so tbh it’s a little crazy to see it actually pay off a little lol#and that she likes my room enough to sleep here even when i’m here too#:)!!!
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Haru this Haru that.... Tenma will always be Endou's first child 🧑🍼
I have a serious beef with this kid, don't mind me
#Haru will never be such a beloved son#😈😈😈#i bet Tenma has a room in their house#our firstborn#inazuma eleven victory road#inazuma eleven#inazuma 11#inazuma eleven go
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