#and delivers without dialogue what a musical never could. it gives more grounding for the character beats.

[notbecauseofvictories]

Back in the early 2000s, the Wicked OBC soundtrack came out, and I devoured it. Wicked immediately became part of my personality. I remember sitting in pre-algebra, reading and re-reading the McGuire book, listening to the soundtrack so often that even now, several decades later, I can breathe in time with the music. And then, as a birthday gift, my family took me to see the touring production. I was so excited. I was so jazzed. It was the fulfillment of every Broadway-loving Midwestern teen's dreams, to finally---finally---see the musical she has been pining for since she grabbed the soundtrack off the livejournal swap.

............shortly thereafter, I walked out of that production with my love of Wicked stone dead.

At the time, I chalked it up to the difference between imagination (no budget/labor/time constraints; physics is optional) and reality (physics exist; so does accounting). However, it's now been almost 20 years, they can do some real nifty stuff with CGI, so I can say with confidence...the version I came up with in my bedroom as a bored teen remains better.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it wasn’t power i coveted; it was acceptance.

Titans 3.06

y’know, i was just thinking the other day that 1.06/1.07 and 2.06/2.07 were the best episodes of their respective seasons, so i have great hopes going in to this one. fingers crossed!

as always, typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. oh! um... that was a Cold Open, all right. *nudges* get it? cold? because it’s snowing? and two people got murdered in cold blood? eh?

... oh, i’ve just started.

1.5. i wonder if “i want to be sipping pina coladas on a beach with you” is the new “i’m just one day away from retiring.” i was so on edge after that--i kept expecting that car to explode. even so, the way they died wasn’t an anticlimax: brutal, and quick. 

1.75. so i’m assuming that’s the titular lady vic! this show better bring up why this doll was important or why these two cops needed to be killed, and not leave it to the ether like jericho’s little mindscape jaunt in 2.08 (i’m still dying to know what that was about???)

2.

i love how deliberately unappealing wayne manor is. 

(sorry for the pic quality. i don’t have hbo max! ssshhh.)

2.3. i love the many references to “home” and “our house” when they’ve been here for less than a week and saw one of their friends get blown into pieces. i mean, i unironically love it: home is where family is, after all!

2.5. i’d like to say that kom is playing some sort of long game here, especially given the build-up we had last season and some of the more niggling details this season: why did kom choose now to use her bond to lure kory when she’s been on earth for months? why did justin call kory now, just around the time that she started getting kom’s visions? and what about kom’s ability to exactly imitate other people? hmmm.

2.75. the reason i wrote i’d like to say is that i’ve made the mistake of assuming plot complexity where there is none; i was so invested in the jason todd orchestrated his own death theory for instance, when it turns out that oops! ra’s al ghul just happened to leave a little lazarus puddle in gotham, and oh yeah! scarecrow just happens to have a network of henchmen working for him on the outside and a fully functional laboratory and a weapons cache fit for a new supervillain in the basement of the high security psychiatric unit/prison that he’s in! 

(no i’m not bitter, why do you ask)

2.8. iiiii don’t know what to say about the implications of sex slavery being a thing on tamaran, so i’m not going to say anything at all. for now.

3. gotham, six years ago... wasn’t it five years before s2 that jericho died and the titans disbanded? and when was the flashback from 1.06 where dick let zucco die? i think it was after the events of 2.08: jericho? i can’t seem to find any transcripts or reliable information online, so i’m going to have to rewatch 1.06 at some point. 

(i love the old-fashioned batman music in this heist scene)

3.5. “security is a joke... it’s my way of keeping my dad on his toes”. what you’re an ethical thief now, like an ethical hacker? i don’t think that excuse is going to sell, barbara, on the day you do encounter a decent security system and your father is forced to arrest you.

(then again, gotham’s security is piss-poor. did you know that you could just walk into arkham asylum without any official clearance, ply one of its most dangerous inhabitants with contraband, and said inmate could get away with having an entire laboratory and weapons cache--NO I’M NOT GOING TO LET THIS GO)

3.8 so that flashback between dick and barbara was really cute! and also illuminating:

a) dick sounds so light, so... um. look. i have some apologies to tender to mr thwaites, because while i’ve always thought he does a fine job as dick grayson, i’ve never been terribly fond of his cadence as he delivers dialogue. it’s often monotonous, i thought, but then again, he’s usually delivering exposition or dealing with one soul-crushing crisis or the other. so i was pleasantly surprised to hear dick sound so carefree and alive in his conversation with barbara, laughing frequently, his emotions so bare and bubbling to the surface. it’s really a fantastic contrast to the traumatised and world-weary dick grayson that we see now, even more so than the costume department just bunging a backwards-baseball cap on mr thwaites’ head and hoping that will convince us of his relative youth. 

b) and god, when he wakes up from that memory, all alone in his bed, bleeding from bullet holes in his shoulder (bullet holes that are--in a somewhat convoluted way--barbara’s fault)? yikes. it’s great. you have my apologies, mr thwaites!

c) can you imagine dick just... crawling back to wayne manor, trying not to be seen by anybody, shedding his suit and just... collapsing onto his bed without even tending to his wound? the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion of it? 

d) it’s so interesting to see how barbara and dick approach the idea of legacy--a big theme on the show!--in this flashback. barbara is the one bucking the idea that she should follow in her father’s footsteps, while dick seems pretty content with the batman-and-robin setup, and even tries to get barbara to join their team (robin-girl. pfffft). obviously after this several traumatic things happen wherein dick ends up questioning and then resenting his role as robin, his relationship with batman or even returning as a vigilante at all. and barbara... ends up replacing her father as commissioner. it’s tragic, really. 

e) the dynamic between dick and barbara in the flashback reminds me of how it was between dick and donna in 1.08 and even between kory and dick in early s1. it’s like having an older, strong-willed woman by his side means he gives over the steering wheel for a while and lets himself... unspool, a little bit. it’s kinda endearing.

also:

*pinches his cheeks*

3. you know, we talk about dick and Eldest Daughter Syndrome, and that’s definitely valid, but here gar seems to me the embodiment of it, with all the emotional gardening and firefighting that he’s expected to do. he’s kind of the guy expected to keep his shit together and take care of everyone else while they are falling completely to pieces, unable to carve out time to process his own trauma. he’s also picked up dick’s and kory’s tendencies to bottle up their struggles and shun appearing vulnerable, and he’s struggling in the shadow of both dick and kory undergoing acute crises, his best friend (and frequent confidante) on the other side of the world, and seeing hank die, utterly helpless to stop it. 

i’m glad that he got a chance to tell dick even a smidgeon of what he really feels, and i hope this is at least a semblance of a wake up call for dick to actually sit down and work with the people he repeatedly calls family.

3.5. it’s heartening to see that dick immediately makes it his priority to go talk to gar. but don’t blow off kory in the process, man!

4. i’m really loving this dynamic between kom and conner--i get the idea that both of them consider each other as Unknowns, alien two times over. but conner’s only ever known the titans, who embrace being different, and kom’s only ever known... well. 

anyway, kory is Really Stressed, and honestly? #relatable. 

when you’re forced to bring an estranged family member to hang out with your friends...

4.5. i love that the titans are spending so much time in the kitchen. a real family!

5. jonathan crane is a creep and i absolutely cannot stand him.

5.25. how did he get a whole lab setup (in the basement of a hospital...?) with a bunch of whitecoats to work for him? how did he just waltz into the viewing room of an operation theatre when he’s one of the most wanted men in gotham right now? why is jason wandering around maskless when--presumably--as the adopted son of the most famous person in gotham he’d be a tad more recognisable than your average joe?

why do i expect this show to answer anything anymore?

5.5. that’s not necessarily a criticism, mind; i’ve said since season 1 that titans is very comics-like in this aspect, all about the Aesthetic and the splash-page splendour rather than the niggling unimportant details of how or when the characters got to said location. like. the camera gliding over the operation being set-up, lady vic bursting in and doing her murder dance (imagine the luck of the poor intern who chose this day and this surgery to assist) and jason, shocked and slack-jawed, framed by blood.

5.75. it’s a sobering reminder for jason that, though he chose this path in order to gain control over a world that seemed like it was rapidly spinning out of his grip, he’s only succeeded in handing over even more control to a man with an agenda that is very clearly not aligned with his own. he’s in too far to stop now, though.

5.9. i have a lot more thoughts about jason! saving it up for the end of this recap, though.

6. more kitchen time! i better see dick do some cooking soon...

(”our kitchen”! it still delights me! kitchens are So Important)

6.25. so much of dick’s issues have revolved around his relationship with bruce, so it’s completely understandable that in the wake of a huge crisis where bruce literally asks dick to replace him and be a “better” him, dick would default to all the worst things he learned from the man. and i’m glad kory’s having none of it, but come on, guys. the woman’s literally fetched her fratricidal sister out of a hole in the ground with no idea what said sister is going to do next and experiencing a burgeoning sense of guilt far, far beyond her history with the titans, and dick’s too far into his autocolonoscopy that he can’t see that she needs help.

6.5. “he services your urges”--well, as far as we know, kory is the last person he had sex with...

7. “i hope [gar] isn’t angry with me...” SIR! i thought you’d already spoken to him! smh, as the kids say. kory wouldn’t be needing to reassure you if you just took the effort to build two way emotional relationships with the rest of the team. @superohclair​ was taking about dick’s relatively low emotional intelligence? i agree.

7.5. “i got my own problems [...] you and barbara? fix it.” YOU TELL HIM, KORY

8. man i really like this weird, sad tension between dick and barbara--this sense that both of them are approaching the other based on how they remember them and are ultimately disappointed by the truth. barbara thought she could trust dick to... well, be a better batman, but dick has not only failed at that in her eyes, but repeatedly undermined her while exploiting the authority that she gave him. in dick’s eyes, this is nothing like the barbara that he knew, rebellious and ready to do whatever it takes to find something. 

like. this show sometimes really hits me in the chest about the ways it shows kids grow into adults and into caretakers, and the way it’s stop-start, the ways nothing can happen at all for a long time and then it’s Crisis Central all at once and there’s no space to breathe. the weird sort of sadness that comes with nostalgia. 

8.5. oracle name drop! i agree with barbara, any system that can just randomly tap into gotham phonelines is a monster.

8.7. (i don’t know if it’s my imagination, but is dick holding himself... differently in this episode? like that wound is definitely bothering him, and he’s running on fumes)

9. man, that was a really sweet scene between kom and conner. “feeling alien in your own world”... “not quite here nor there”

honestly this team runs on conner and gar’s faith in their value as a family, and it’s a sign of conner’s generous heart that he extends that opportunity to blackfire. this arc of maturation for him, where he’s now able to consciously choose which parts of himself he can use to do the thing he wants to so--save people--has been so fulfilling to recognise. this baby’s grown with the titans! and what he’s learnt is that people can get fucked up, but the titans is a place where they can be fucked up, and grow.

MY MAN CONNER

10. oh man i’m drinking in the gar-dick interaction in this episode like i’m three days into the desert and it’s the only source of water for miles around!

a) gar is absolutely not dealing with dick’s bullshit this episode and I LOVE IT. it’s such a far cry from the man who was idolising dick/robin back in s1 and expecting him to solve all their problems. dick is fallible, dick is fucked up, but he Tries His Best and that’s ok.

b) dick, huffing and puffing through that vent, unable to put any pressure on his left shoulder, trying to have a heart to heart with gar... fuck i love this asshole. 

c) bruce took in a kid who was suffering... “and made him into a weapon”. well. i absolutely agree with dick that it was bruce who put these kids into these horrible situations with him and they came away with a bucketload of trauma to add to the one that they already had. but we know that bruce was really trying with jason, and at the end of s2, dick was coming to acknowledge that bruce had offered him something that wasn’t just darkness. jason’s death and bruce’s reaction to that shattered that fragile progress.

d) “gotham got to me too.” i feel more sympathetic towards dick running off on his own than most, and it’s not just because i’m an unapologetic stan.  we’ve seen before that dick... devolves when overwhelmed, and he lashes out and makes ill thought out decisions and just Does Not Deal. it happened after hearing the news that deathstroke had returned in s2, and it didn’t help that everyone around him was reeling at the news, either. this time, however, he has his salvation in his family, and despite some stupid decisions like running off and kidnapping supervillains without telling his team, he’s been really on the ball this season. thinking clearly and logically, holding it together and working on a plan, thinking two steps ahead of the villains... yes.

e) gar needing to believe that jason isn’t beyond redemption... there’s a lot of blood on his hands, too, from when he was manipulated by cadmus last season. it makes sense why he’d relate to jason’s predicament, and i hope dick picked up on that.

f) my head just added a plaintive ow after dick jumped feet first into the storage room

i need, crave gifs of this scene!

11. *sits on hands* i’m going to talk more about red hood, i promise!

12. more gar and dick! is it my birthday??!!

(actually, according to the tamil calendar, it is my birthday! my “star” birthday)

12.5. excellent. dick using some implausible training that bruce taught him to solve a mystery? passing some of that knowledge onto gar? that proud smile when he sees gar perfectly execute moves that he taught him? MY HEART IS EXPLODING

13. aw, i love flashback!dick and barbara, they’re so cute <3

13.25. why does it not surprise me that the way he proposes a relationship to barbara is by saying “we make sense”? this guy can deduce exactly who was present where and what weapon they were holding from a garbled audio recording but other times he’s utterly clueless, and that’s a consistent character beat right from s1

13.5. so.... that’s why lady vic has it out for... barbara....? i don’t get it. it’s flimsy. but hey! the fun thing about titans is that i don’t have to get it. the payoff has nothing to do with the plot.

14. i can’t believe that barbara fell for that, but at least that wheelchair fight looked awesome, so.

15. oh yeah, i forgot that red hood bullied the mob into helping him and scarecrow... at least that explains the whitecoats and the elaborate set-up.

15.5. honestly i love how this dynamic between kory and kom is developing, though i wish more of the team would pay attention to it. time to call justin, i think!

16. i wonder what happened after that second flashback where barbara got hurt during that heist. did she give up on doing any more (maybe jim caught her)? was it because dick was called away by bruce and then the titans and got caught up in his own issues? maybe barbara froze him out because she wasn’t looking for the relationship that he was looking for? maybe the idea of doing that with someone turning into batman-lite was just... unappealing? scary?

whatever it is, it doesn’t look like dick ever processed the end of that relationship. it’s very intriguing to see where their dynamic goes next.

17. so.... what, did vic deliver some fear toxin to barbara? i... what?

17.5. and i TOLD YOU that they would never explain that doll or why vic attacked those two cops at the beginning! oh, titans. never change. 

18. did jason just randomly have tim’s restaurant burgled? god, i’m feeling a bit nauseous... are they going to kill tim’s father?

18.25. i feel like the rest of the season is going to wrestle with jason’s culpability in the horrible stuff he’s doing and i’m already seeing that prospect divide fans. on one hand, his story is taking a lot of oxygen away from other equally interesting story arcs, and he’s done some truly awful things, like indiscriminate murder, threatening to kill children, blowing up hank, and potentially killing tim’s parents. 

there’s something to be said for the kind of hold that crane has over him, and the so-called ‘anti-fear’ drug that he keeps plying jason with--he’s alone, drugged almost constantly (to the level of dependence), fresh from the trauma of being bludgeoned to death. he hasn’t conquered fear; he’s ruled by it. on the other hand, given that he’s the one character on the show given an obvious and identifiable ‘mental illness’ arc (maaaaybe dick too), one can argue that it’s irresponsible to show this progress into such violence: jason was vulnerable because he was struggling, and that left him vulnerable, but it took only a push before he became a fucking serial killer.

but that could mean we underestimate the degree of that vulnerability, and the mechanics of this universe where he fell into the clutches of the one supervillain perfectly designed to exploit that vulnerability. that helpless spiral into further and further self-destruction is all too real. it’s valuable to know that someone who has sunk that low can still seek help--actual help--and get it. 

18.5. i don’t know. it’s not a question i’m going to resolve at the end of an overlong recap at 1 in the morning. i don’t believe it’s even a question that titans can resolve. but i am interested in where they’re going next with jason.

19. this episode was genuinely great! i’m pumped for the rest of the season!

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About Loki (Season One)

(Sorry this is later than it should have been. I may or may not be experiencing burnout from reviewing every episode of the gayest show Disney has ever produced)

Salutations, random people on the internet. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Do you want to know what's fun about the Marvel Cinematic Universe? It is now officially at the point where the writers can do whatever the hell they want.

A TV series about two Avengers getting stuck in a series of sitcoms as one of them explores their personal grief? Sure.

Another series as a guy with metal bird wings fights the inner racism of his nation to take the mantel of representing the idea of what that nation should be? Why not?

A forgettable movie about a superspy and her much more mildly entertaining pretend family working together to kill the Godfather? F**king go for it (Let that be a taste for my Black Widow review in October)!

There is no limit to what you can get with these movies and shows anymore, and I personally consider that a good thing. It allows this franchise to lean further into creative insanity, thus embracing its comic roots in the process. Take Loki, for example. It is a series about an alternate version of one of Marvel's best villains bouncing around the timeline with Owen Wilson to prevent the end of the universe. It sounds like just the right amount of wackiness that it should be too good to fail.

But that's today's question: Did it fail? To find out my own answer to that, we're gonna have to dive deep into spoilers. So be wary as you continue reading.

With that said, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Loki Himself: Let's get this out of the way: This isn't the same Loki we've seen grow within five movies. The Loki in this series, while similar in many ways, is still his very own character. He goes through his own redemption and developments that fleshes out Loki, all through ways that, if I'm being honest with you, is done much better in six-hour-long episodes than in past films. Loki's story was already entertaining, but he didn't really grow that much aside from being this chaotic neutral character instead of this wickedly evil supervillain. Through his series, we get to see a gradual change in his personality, witnessing him understand his true nature and "glorious purpose," to the point where he's already this completely different person after one season. Large in part because of the position he's forced into.

Some fans might say that the series is less about Loki and more about the TVA. And while I can unquestionably see their point, I still believe that the TVA is the perfect way for Loki to grow. He's a character all about causing chaos and controlling others, so forcing him to work for an organization that takes that away allows Loki time to really do some introspection. Because if his tricks don't work, and his deceptions can't fool others, then who is he? Well, through this series, we see who he truly is: A character who is alone and is intended to be nothing more than a villain whose only truly selfless act got him killed in the end. Even if he wants to better himself, he can't because that "goes against the sacred timeline." Loki is a person who is destined to fail, and he gets to see it all with his own eyes by looking at what his life was meant to be and by observing what it could have been. It's all tragic and yet another example of these shows proving how they allow underdeveloped characters in the MCU a better chance to shine. Because if Loki can give even more depth to a character who's already compelling as is, then that is a feat worth admiration.

The Score: Let's give our gratitude toward Natalie Holt, who f**king killed it with this series score. Every piece she made is nothing short of glorious. Sylvie's and the TVA's themes particularly stand out, as they perfectly capture who/what they're representing. Such as how Sylvie's is big and boisterous where the TVA's sound eerie and almost unnatural. Holt also finds genius ways to implement other scores into the series, from using familiar tracks from the Thor movies to even rescoring "Ride of the Valkyries" in a way that makes a scene even more epic than it already could have been. The MCU isn't best known for its musical scores, partly because they aim to be suitable rather than memorable. But every now and again, something as spectacular as the Loki soundtrack sprinkles through the cracks of mediocrity. Making fans all the more grateful because of it.

There’s a lot of Talking: To some, this will be considered a complaint. Most fans of the MCU come for the action, comedy, and insanely lovable characters. Not so much for the dialogue and exposition. That being said, I consider all of the talking to be one of Loki's best features. All the background information about the TVA added with the character's backstories fascinates me, making me enthusiastic about learning more. Not everyone else will be as interested in lore and world-building as others, but just because something doesn't grab you, in particular, doesn't mean it isn't appealing at all. Case in point: There's a reason why the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise has lasted as long as it has, and it's not entirely because of how "scary" it is.

There's also the fact that most of the dialogue in Loki is highly engaging. I'll admit, some scenes do drag a bit. However, every line is delivered so well that I'm more likely to hang on to every word when characters simply have honest conversations with each other. And if I can be entertained by Loki talking with Morbius about jetskis, then I know a show is doing at least something right.

It’s Funny: This shouldn't be a surprise. The MCU is well-known for its quippy humor in the direct acknowledgment that it doesn't take itself too seriously. With that said, it is clear which movies and shows are intended to be taken seriously, while others are meant to be comedies. Loki tries to be a bit of both. There are some heavy scenes that impact the characters, and probably even some fans, due to how well-acted and professionally written they can be. However, this is also a series about a Norse god traveling through time to deal with alternate versions of himself, with one of them being an alligator. I'd personally consider it a crime against storytelling to not make it funny. Thankfully, the writers aren't idiots and know to make the series fun with a few flawlessly timed and delivered jokes that never really take away from the few good grim moments that actually work.

It Kept Me Surprised: About everything I appreciate about Loki, the fact that I could never really tell what direction it was going is what I consider its absolute best feature. Every time I think I knew what was going to happen, there was always this one big twist that heavily subverted any and every one of my expectations. Such as how each time I thought I knew who the big bad was in this series, it turns out that there was an even worse threat built up in the background. The best part is that these twists aren't meant for shock value. It's always supposed to drive the story forward, and on a rewatch, you can always tell how the seeds have been planted for making each surprise work. It's good that it kept fans guessing, as being predictable and expected would probably be the worst path to take when making a series about Loki, a character who's all about trickery and deception. So bonus points for being in line with the character.

The TVA: You can complain all you want about how the show is more about the TVA than it is Loki, but you can't deny how the organization in question is a solid addition to the MCU. Initially, it was entertaining to see Loki of all characters be taken aback by how the whole process works. And it was worth a chuckle seeing Infinity Stones, the most powerful objects in the universe, get treated as paperweights. However, as the season continues and we learn about the TVA, the writers show that their intention is to try and write a message about freedom vs. control. We've seen this before in movies like Captain America: The Winter Soldier or Captain America: Civil War, but with those films, it always felt like the writers were leaning more towards one answer instead of making it obscure over which decision is correct. This is why I enjoy the fact that Loki went on saying that there really is no right answer for this scenario. If the TVA doesn't prune variants, it could result in utter chaos and destruction that no one from any timeline can prepare themselves for. But when they do prune variants along with their timelines, it takes away all free will, forcing people to be someone they probably don't even want to be. It's a situation where there really is no middle ground. Even if you bring up how people could erase timelines more destructive than others, that still takes away free will on top of how there's no unbiased way of deciding which timelines are better or worse. And the series found a brilliant way to explain this moral: The season starts by showing how the TVA is necessary, to later point out how there are flaws and evil secrets within it, and ends things with the revelation that there are consequences without the TVA keeping the timeline in check. It's an epic showcase of fantastic ideas met with exquisite execution that I can't help but give my seal of approval to.

Miss Minutes: Not much to say. This was just a cute character, and I love that Tara Strong, one of the most popular voice actors, basically plays a role in the MCU now.

Justifying Avengers: Endgame: Smartest. Decision. This series. Made. Bar none.

Because when you establish that the main plot is about a character getting arrested for f**king over the timeline, you're immediately going to get people questioning, "Why do the Avengers get off scot-free?" So by quickly explaining how their time-traveling antics were supposed to happen, it negates every one of those complaints...or most of them. There are probably still a-holes who are poking holes in that logic, but they're not the ones writing this review, so f**k them.

Mobius: I didn't really expect Owen Wilson to do that good of a job in Loki. Primarily due to how the Cars franchise discredits him as a professional actor for...forever. With that said, Owen Wilson's Mobius might just be one of the most entertaining characters in the series. Yes, even more so than Loki himself. Mobius acts as the perfect straight man to Loki's antics, what with being so familiar with the supposed god of mischief through past variations of him. Because of that, it's always a blast seeing these two bounce off one another through Loki trying to trick a Loki expert, and said expert even deceiving Loki at times. Also, on his own, Mobius is still pretty fun. He has this sort of witty energy that's often present in Phil Coulson (Love that character too, BTW), but thanks to Owen Wilson's quirks in his acting, there's a lot more energy to Mobius than one would find in Coulson. As well as a tad bit of tragedy because of Mobius being a variant and having no clue what his life used to be. It's a lot to unpack and is impressively written, added to how it's Owen Wilson who helps make the character work as well as he did. Cars may not have done much for his career, but Loki sure as hell showed his strengths.

Ravonna Renslayer: Probably the least entertaining character, but definitely one of the most intriguing. At least to me.

Ravonna is a character who is so steadfast in her believes that she refuses to accept that she may be wrong. Without the proper writing, someone like Ravonna could tick off (ha) certain people. Personally, I believe that Ravonna is written well enough where even though I disagree with her belief, I can understand where she's coming from. She's done so much for the TVA, bringing an end to so many variants and timelines that she can't accept that it was all for nothing. In short, Ravonna represents the control side of the freedom vs. control theme that the writers are pushing. Her presence is necessary while still being an appealing character instead of a plot device. Again, at least to me.

Hunter B-15: I have no strong feelings one way or another towards B-15's personality, but I will admit that I love the expectation-subversion done with her. She has this air of someone who's like, "I'm this by-the-books badass cop, and I will only warm up to this cocky rookie after several instances of them proving themselves." That's...technically not B-15. She's the first to see Loki isn't that bad, but only because B-15 is the first in the main cast to learn the hidden vile present in the TVA. It makes her change in point of view more believable than how writers usually work a character like hers, on top of adding a new type of engaging motivation for why she fights. I may not particularly enjoy her personality, but I do love her contributions.

Loki Watching What His Life Could Have Been: This was a brilliant decision by the writers. It's basically having Loki speedrun his own character development through witnessing what he could have gone through and seeing the person he's meant to be, providing a decent explanation for why he decides to work for the TVA. And on the plus side, Tom Hiddleston did a fantastic job at portraying the right emotions the character would have through a moment like this. Such as grief, tearful mirth, and borderline shock and horror. It's a scene that no other character could go through, as no one but Loki needed a wake-up call for who he truly is. This series might heavily focus on the TVA, but scenes like this prove just who's the star of the show.

Loki Causing Mischief in Pompeii: I just really love this scene. It's so chaotic and hilarious, all heavily carried by the fact that you can tell that Tom Hiddleston is having the time of his damn life being this character. What more can I say about it.

Sylvie: The first of many surprises this season offered, and boy was she a great one.

Despite being an alternate version of Loki, I do appreciate that Sylvie's her own character and not just "Loki, but with boobs." She still has the charm and charisma, but she also comes across as more hardened and intelligent when compared to the mischievous prick we've grown to love. A large part of that is due to her backstory, which might just be the most tragic one these movies and shows have ever made. Sylvie got taken away when she was a little girl, losing everything she knew and loved, and it was all for something that the people who arrested her don't even remember. How sad is that? The fact that her life got permanently screwed over, leaving zero impact on the people responsible for it. As badass as it is to hear her say she grew up at the ends of a thousand worlds (that's an album title if I ever heard one), it really is depressing to know what she went through. It also makes her the perfect candidate to represent the freedom side of the freedom vs. control argument. Because she's absolutely going to want to fight to put an end to the people who decide how the lives of trillions should be. Those same people took everything from Sylvie, and if I were in her position, I'd probably do the same thing. Of course, we all know the consequences that come from this, and people might criticize Sylvie the same way they complain about Thor and Star Lord for screwing over the universe in Avengers: Infinity War. But here's the thing: Sylvie's goals are driven by vengeance, which can blind people from any other alternatives. Meaning her killing He Who Remains is less of a story flaw and more of a character flaw. It may be a bad decision, but that's for Season Two Sylvie to figure out. For now, I'll just appreciate the well-written and highly compelling character we got this season and eagerly wait as we see what happens next with her.

The Oneshot in Episode Three: Not as epic as the hallway scene in Daredevil, but I do find it impressive that it tries to combine real effects, fighting, and CGI in a way where it's all convincing enough.

Lady Sif Kicking Loki in the D**k: This is a scene that makes me realize why I love this series. At first, I laugh at Loki being stuck in a time loop where Lady Sif kicks him in the d**k over and over again. But a few scenes later, this setup actually works as a character moment that explains why Loki does the things he does.

This series crafted phenomenal character development through Loki getting kicked in the d**k by the most underrated badass of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a perfect balance of comedy and drama that not every story can nail, yet Loki seemed like it did with very little effort.

Classic Loki: This variant shows the true tragedy of being Loki. The only way to survive is to live in isolation, far away from everything and everyone he loves, only to end up having his one good deed result in his death anyways. Classic Loki is definitive proof that no matter what face they have, Lokis never gets happy endings. They're destined to lose, but at least this version knows that if you're going out, you're going out big. And at least he got to go out with a mischievous laugh.

(Plus, the fact that he's wearing Loki's first costume from the comics is a pretty cute callback).

Alligator Loki: Alligator Loki is surprisingly adorable, and if you know me, you know that I can't resist cute s**t. It's not in my nature.

Loki on Loki Violence: If you thought Loki going ham in Pompeii was chaotic, that was nothing to this scene. Because watching these Lokis backstab one another, to full-on murdering each other, is a moment that is best described as pure, unadulterated chaos. And I. Loved. Every. Second of it.

The Opening Logo for the Season Finale: I'm still not that big of a fan of the opening fanfare playing for each episode, but I will admit that it was a cool feature to play vocal clips of famous quotes when the corresponding character appears. It's a great way of showing the chaos of how the "sacred timeline" works without having it to be explained further.

The Citadel: I adore the set design of the Citadel. So much history and backstory shine through the state of every room the characters walk into. You get a perfect picture of what exactly happened, but seeing how ninety percent of the place is in shambles, it's pretty evident that not everything turned out peachy keen. And as a personal note, my favorite aspect of the Citadel is the yellow cracks in the walls. It looks as though reality itself is cracking apart, which is pretty fitting when considering where the Citadel actually is.

He Who Remains: This man. I. Love. This man.

I love this man for two reasons.

A. He's a ton of fun. Credit to that goes to the performance delivered by Jonathon Majors. Not only is it apparent that Majors is having a blast, but he does a great job at conveying how He Who Remains is a strategic individual but is still very much off his rocker. These villains are always my favorite due to how much of a blast it is seeing someone with high intelligence just embracing their own insanity. If you ask me, personalities are always essential for villains. Because even when they have the generic plot to rule everything around them, you're at least going to remember who they are for how entertaining they were. Thankfully He Who Remains has that entertainment value, as it makes me really excited for his eventual return, whether it'd be strictly through Loki Season Two or perhaps future movies.

And B. He Who Remains is a fantastic foil for Loki. He Who Remains is everything Loki wishes he could have been, causing so much death, destruction, and chaos to the multiverse. The important factor is that he does it all through order and control. The one thing Loki despises, and He Who Remains uses it to his advantage. I feel like that's what makes him the perfect antagonist to Loki, thanks to him winning the game by not playing it. I would love it if He Who Remains makes further appearances in future movies and shows, especially given how he's hinted to be Kane the Conqueror, but if he's only the main antagonist in Loki, I'm still all for it. He was a great character in his short time on screen, and I can't wait to see what happens next with him.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Revealing that Loki was D.B. Cooper: A cute scene, but it's really unnecessary. It adds nothing to the plot, and I feel like if it was cut out entirely, it wouldn't have been the end of the world...Yeah. That's it.

That's my one and only complaint about this season.

Maybe some scenes drag a bit, and I guess Episode Three is kind of the weakest, but there's not really anything that this series does poorly that warrants an in-depth complaint.

Nope.

Nothing at all...

…

...

...I'm not touching that "controversy" of Loki falling for Sylvie instead of Mobius. That's a situation where there are no winners.

Only losers.

Exclusively losers.

Other than that, this season was amazing!

IN CONCLUSION

I'd give the first season of Loki a well-earned A, with a 9.5 through my usual MCU ranking system. It turns out, it really is the best type of wackiness that was just too good to fail. The characters are fun and likable, the comedy and drama worked excellently, and the expansive world-building made me really intrigued with the more we learned. It's hard to say if Season Two will keep this momentum, but that's for the future to figure out. For now, let's just sit back and enjoy the chaos.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I have to figure out how to review Marvel's What If...)

[watching-pictures-move]

Bela Lugosi’s Dead | Notes on the Work of a (Possible) Blood-drinking Aristocrat

It’s a sad fact that Hollywood has never been very good in terms of diversity in front of or behind the camera (and still has a long way to go), and over the years has often limited opportunities or slotted actors in roles that play to their “otherness”. This weighed heavily on my mind as I watched White Zombie, as I don’t know if any actor has taken control of that otherness and used it to such unsettling effect as Bela Lugosi does so here. Lugosi’s presence is so distinct and his delivery so mannered that he seems not to be playing a villain so much as embodying evil itself and piercing through the artifice of the film around him. Lugosi’s performance also ties into the film’s racial politics, which are queasy as can be expected for a horror film about Haitian voodoo, but complex. A character decries local practices as “sins that even the devil would be ashamed of”, yet the plot centres on a foreign, colonial presence exploiting those practices, and it isn’t a stretch to read his act of turning his enemies into zombies as a metaphor for slavery.

The film exists in an eerie dream state between silent and sound film, and any imperfections only enhance that feeling. Dialogue and sound intrude jarringly into silence or music (particularly the shriek of a vulture, which never stops being unnerving), and any stilted acting brings to mind the zombies enslaved by the villain. The atmosphere is evocative and foreboding, with images that sear themselves into our mind. Victor Halperin would go on to direct a sequel, Revolt of the Zombies, which does not star Lugosi but recycles the same shot of his eyes. Lugosi’s absence is sorely felt, as is any semblance of the atmosphere or visual style present in this film, and its handling of race lacks the complexity offered by this earlier effort. The movie briefly perks up when the revolt in the title finally happens, producing a handful of interesting images, but for a movie that runs about an hour, it easily feels thrice as long.

I would be remiss to delve into Lugosi’s work without revisiting his iconic work in Tod Browning’s Dracula. I don’t know if I actually think the movie is any better this time around, but I did find myself more endeared by it. It’s hard to find interesting things to say about his work here, but while what we know of Lugosi’s life suggests that he probably wasn’t really a centuries old blood-drinking aristocrat, the lived-in quality of his performance might have you fooled. George Melford’s Spanish language version is a much more dynamic film on the whole (and is on the shortlist of my favourite vampire movies), yet there’s no denying Lugosi’s absence isn’t felt. (The wonders of modern technology have allowed the the transplant of Jim Carrey into The Shining and many of our beloved celebrities into hardcore pornography; I would argue that deepfaking Lugosi into the Melford Dracula is just as worthwhile an experiment.) It’s safe to say that he’s much better than the movie he’s in, the stage origins of which are apparent (characters are frequently shot staidly, centre frame; much of the action takes place in the same room with characters entering and exiting in lieu of actual incident), yet that stylistic stiffness yields great dividends when the action moves to Dracula’s castle, with those scenes having an aura of entombment.

Perhaps this approach was an extension of Browning’s view of the genre. Many vampire movies emphasize the sensual, striving to demonstrate the erotic allure of the condition; Browning’s film argues that the living dead lead a pretty dismal existence. “There are far worse things awaiting man than death.” An arguably dismissive attitude towards vampirism could be read into Mark of the Vampire, which reunites Lugosi and Browning. The movie is at times quite atmospheric, particularly when Lugosi is onscreen, yet in a way that feels fairly divorced from the energy of the film as a whole. (He also unfortunately has no dialogue until the end, although he makes the most of it.) If Dracula suffers in comparison to the stylishness of James Whale’s Frankenstein movies, then Mark of the Vampire could have used some of the tongue-in-cheek energy Whale brought to The Old Dark House.

The Devil Bat finds Lugosi working with a much smaller production by Producers Releasing Corporation, a Poverty Row studio. It’s not an especially dynamic work, featuring a not terribly convincing bat puppet and a scene where his character awkwardly confesses to his crimes and schemes up a murder on the fly to cover his tracks, yet his professionalism can’t be denied and he’s quite good in the role. Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla, which has a technically accurate but misleading title, finds his career in more obvious decline. Your enjoyment may depend heavily on your tolerance for Jerry Lewis style shrillness, yet once again Lugosi treats his role as serious as a heart attack. This movie is also of interest to fans of Duke Mitchell, showing him well before he developed the vulgar charisma of his wannabe Godfather characters in Massacre Mafia Style and Gone with the Pope. Towards the end of his life Lugosi came into the orbit of Ed Wood, considered by many to be the worst director of all time. The extent of Lugosi’s role in Plan 9 From Outer Space is well known, but his last speaking part came in Bride of the Monster. Neither film did much for me (Wood’s distinct brand of badness has little effect on me for whatever reason, and Bride didn’t seem all that worse than some of the other films I’ve seen this month, to be honest) but Lugosi makes the film just a bit more engaging whenever he’s onscreen.

Going back to his prime years, Murders in the Rue Morgue finds Lugosi on  stage at a carnival sideshow, pleads with an unappreciative audience, and by extension, the viewer (“Heresy? Do they still burn men for heresy? Then burn me monsieur, light the fire! Do you think your little candle will outshine the flame of truth?”). There’s a sense of resentment here, of doing great yet unappreciated work in squalid conditions, that I suspect might have resonated with him over the course of his career. The out of place aristocracy he brings to the role makes him all the more magnetic and, at the same time, undeniably creepy, which makes the relatively explicit (by 1932 standards) content resonate. (A gruesome knife fight and a sexually charged torture scene are among the highlights spicing up the first act.) The movie definitely loses a little whenever Lugosi isn’t onscreen, yet Robert Florey’s visual direction, heavily influenced by German expressionism, is dynamic enough to always keep things engaging. This is the movie Lugosi made after walking away from Frankenstein, and while there are similarities in visual style, Lugosi’s performance here couldn’t be more different from Boris Karloff’s in the other film.

It’s hard to discuss Lugosi without mentioning Karloff, that other titan of early sound horror films. Karloff’s career ended with more dignity (his last film, Targets, offers a reflection on his career, the horror genre and violence in ‘60s America), yet going head to head in The Black Cat, Lugosi wins. Karloff is great, giving an eerily mannered, subtly monstrous performance, yet Lugosi is able to create a character that not only is implied to have the same capacity for monstrous behaviour, but get us to empathize with him. There’s an early line delivery that might be one of the best I’ve ever heard with its mixture of menace and deep psychological wounds. (I will quote it, but hearing it delivered by the man himself will send chills down your spine. ”Have you ever heard of Kurgaal? It is a prison below Omsk. Many men have gone there. Few have returned. I have returned. After fifteen years... I have returned.”) He grounds the twisted headspace that the movie inhabits, which Edgar G. Ulmer evokes with a bold visual style and uncanny art direction. The cumulative result is the best horror film I’ve seen in quite some time.

[my-never-ending-nightmare]

Time is running out for the character's human side. "i'm losing ground, you know how this world can beat you down, i'm made of clay, i fear i'm the only one who thinks this way," the human voice says, revealing the desperateness of its position. Then, another voice, whispering without any sense of emotion: "i'm always falling down the same hill, bamboo puncturing this skin, and nothing comes out of me just like a waterfall i'm drowning in, feet below the surface i can still make out your wavy face, and if i could just reach you maybe i could leave this place." This speech is delivered in a chillingly cold fashion that conflicts with what is being said. The mechanical voice mocks the human voice, dangling the option of another's help in front of it, knowing that it will never accept the care of another. The human voice re-emerges to protest piteously, "i do not want this," and promptly lashes out at the mechanical voice along with its mocking offers: "don't you tell me how i feel, you don't know just how i feel." At first this series of interactions between the voices may seem a bit odd or unlikely, but let's consider the idea a little more closely and discover why it is not. The first statement of the human voice is clear enough, it's losing ground to the mechanical voice and will soon be completely overcome. Now concerning the next part of the dialogue, think back to the character's relationship to the piggy (and society). As seen in "closer," the character had to give away part of himself in order to establish his control over another. This relationship caused him pain because he was dependent upon another. Never again will he submit to another's control. He cannot accept another's help or sympathy. The mechanical voice knows this and mocks him with the offer, illustrating the man's impotence. As predicted, the human voice rejects the offer harshly, displaying its defiant hatred for the other half. The interplay of voice continues with the same implications: human voice: i stay inside my bed i have lived so many lives all in my head don't tell me that you care there really isn't anything, is there? mechanical: you would know, wouldn't you? you extend your hand to those who suffer to those who know what it really feels like to those who've had a taste like that means something and oh so sick i am and maybe i don't have a choice and maybe that is all i have and maybe this is a cry for help (or maybe it's not...note the increasing boldness of the mechanical voice as it moves in for the kill) human voice: i do not want this (angrily) don't you tell me how i feel don't you tell me how i feel don't you tell me how i feel you don't know just how i feel At this point something changes the music becomes more chaotic and piercing; as the human voice is once again ready to be subdued, another option is discovered. The next phase of the metaphysical rebellion becomes clear in the midst of the noise. "When the throne of God is overturned, the rebel realizes that it is now his own responsibility to create the justice, order, and unity that he sought in vain within his own condition, and in this way justify the fall of God."  The mechanical voice was able to arise out of the absence of meaning, so perhaps the character can escape it by establishing a new moral order. He reaches for the unoccupied throne. "i want to know everything, i want to be everywhere, i want to fuck everyone in the world, i want to do something that matters." His voice is dripping with desire as he utters those words laced with sexual potency. Finally, he tells himself, I will have absolute power. I will be totally free. I will be untouched by the limits of humanity. Finally he rises up and does something that matters (for something to matter it implies that there is meaning, a complete moral universe which he will create). He reaches out for the throne; it is his time of apotheosis. Now he will be God. (And what does it mean to be God in his eyes?) Now he will have control. (What did he see as the relationship between God and man?) Now he will be free. (Isn't that, after all, what this is all about, freedom?) Now he will become the ruiner. - James Salvatore & Brian Cancellieri 

Source: www.4degreez.com/nailz/ninterpretations/downspiral.html

[mi4017]

VOCOCENTRISM

as the name suggests, vococentrism prioritises the dialogue, of a scene: over the other aspects (Sound Effects, Music, etc.)

for the most part, stating that the majority of films are vococentric - would be true, as directors carefully design the dialogue between characters to best convey the story, to the viewer.

however, there are a selective minority of media - that manage to break this convention: and i want to make this post to briefly address the strengths and weaknesses of a very famous example of this:

“Mr Bean” (January 1st 1990 - December 15th 1995)

despite being a British cult-classic: the original series, was short lived with only 15 (24-26 minute) episodes.

the series, starred Rowan Atkinson as a a strange, mute humanoid named: “Mr Bean” who used his unusual (albeit: entertaining) wit to fulfil everyday tasks. But more often than not, his childish antics end up creating trouble for himself and those around him...

the series thrived, with an animated spinoff: and multiple movies. 

I think the strengths of the series all relate back to Atkinson’s portrayal of Bean.

Atkinson has a talent, most inherently shown through his portrayal of Bean, of being able to manipulate his face in humorous ways to convey exaggerated emotion, in the place of dialogue: much like earlier silent films, that relied on the use of music and movement to enhance the scenes.

exaggerated acting is a common theme of pantomimes, and other media that appeals mostly to children: as the obvious, “in your face” way of expressing emotion is a simple way to convey this to a simple-minded audience, without them having to analyse subtle things.

Atkinson’s approach is by no means revolutionary: in fact, it’s rather simple - but that's the point. it’s appealing to children.

Mr Bean never has anything close to a normal interaction with anyone he meets - due to his limited speech, which throughout the series is used as a tool to further escalate the ridiculous situations the character finds himself in, as something that could be explained and talked through, is instead being driven further by his muttering and stammering. 

in place of dialogue, Bean relies on much more physical acting; from not only himself, but the people he interacts with. this is further enhanced through the use of a laugh track, to remind the audience that the very vaudeville tone is due to the fact they’re trying to make you laugh, as this is a comedic show. 

What's more, he always wears the same clothes, a common trope with characters, especially in cartoons and other children’s media: as they remain in one outfit: to keep an iconic look.

At the beginning of each episode, you see a bright light appear on the ground, it grows bigger and bigger until it stops and Mr Bean falls, which is interpreted as a comical take being beamed down from an alien spaceship.

despite being a comedic show: and Bean is strange to further this, i like to imagine that he used to be normal, which is how he has his own apartment, a girlfriend, and money. But then he was abducted by aliens, tested on, and dumped back onto Earth - with no memory of anything but his name, with it being one of the only lines he has throughout the show’s original run - in turn creating this unusual character, who doesn't know how to interact with people.

Bean’s many strengths lay within the shows reliance on not speech, but physical comedy: however, this is also the show’s downfall.

dialogue provides the opportunity for characters in world to ask appropriate questions, that the viewer may also be thinking - to expand upon the viewer’s knowledge of the world they live in.

dialogue allows characters to express more depth, articulating problems and issues, imagining life's many possibilities, seeing where things lead, evaluate alternatives - without this they have a distinct disadvantage of engaging with not only the audience, but others in their world.

Mr Bean is a charming show. Bean as a character is interesting, while also being humorous. 

in later instalments in the franchise - there is a shift in tone, with movies being a longer media than half hour episodes that featured multiple storylines, the films followed a set journey about Bean travelling to unfamiliar places (the USA, and a holiday to France.) where he has interact with people. 

here, there is a much heavier reliance on dialogue to not just extend the scenes, for run-time:  but also provide more depth: to justify a longer production.

with these films, the focus shifts more towards the characters bean interacts with. - the family he stays with in the USA - Bean’s interference on their lives puts stress on a constantly worrying father, but ultimately his mannerisms result in the two becoming good friends. - he helps his moody teenage daughter, open up more.  - Sabine, and Stephan - an amateur actress, and a child who got separated from his father on a train: both interact with Bean, and him traveling with them aids them in their individual goals,

Bean remains a constant - his character already developed as far as he’s capable to. instead his use is comic relief, while the rest of the characters on stage witness his hijnix and progress the story.

this could not have been done, if the format didn't change

dialogue driven media is arguably a much more effective way at giving a viewer a more fulfilling experience.

media like Bean are an effective way of conveying short, simple storylines: fit for multiple sketches across a half-hour Tv-show. but for most other media, I’d argue that being dialogue reliant is not a weakness, but a way to allow for better storytelling.

the use of dialogue allows further acting, further world-building - there is just more sustenance to it all.

dialogue is not necessary to provide the viewer with the information they need to engage in the story, but it is a clear and concise method to deliver more, in an effective and enjoyable way.

anyway, that’s my thoughts on it at least.

[fretened]

Celeste (2018) - pushing game design to new heights (Developed by Matt Makes Games)

Reviewed on PS4, playable on:

Steam

Itch.io

Epic Games store

Nintendo Switch

PlayStation 4

Xbox One 

Introduction

Celeste is a game about a girl called Madeline who decides to climb a mountain to overcome her depression and anxiety, as well as the other characters she meets along the way. Little does she know that Celeste mountain is more than what it seems and, in order to confront the challenges she will face along the way, Madeline will have to come face to face with a part of her that she would have much rather avoided. Celeste uses mostly linear 2D platforming across groundbreakingly designed levels, all with a gorgeous 16-bit art style  which, along with a cast of charming characters and wonderfully written dialogue, delivers a truly moving story about self-reflection and overcoming anxieties despite all the odds. Here are my thoughts and feelings on the 2018 critically acclaimed ‘best independent game’ and ‘games for impact’ Game Award winner, Celeste.

Level design

Celeste’s fundamental mechanic is Madeline’s dash ability which propels her in a straight line in a chosen direction for a set distance. The dash can only be interrupted by objects in the environment and it can only be used once in mid air -  it recharges as soon as Madeline touches the ground; this is represented intuitively on screen by Madeline’s hair turning blue when her dash is used up and turning back to orange when the dash becomes available. This core mechanic is explored in a different direction in each of Celeste’s 8 chapters. If you explore these levels you can gain access to the far more challenging B and C side versions of the levels which push the exploration further in it’s respective directions, however, you may not even feel inclined to touch these levels as Celeste’s main game alone is likely challenging enough for a lot of players.

Celeste’s side-scrolling levels are broken up into stages/sections that you have to pass to progress through the game. I felt as though each section was designed to push and improve my ability at the game and make me practice and experiment with my approach to each section’s unique challenges. 

Each screen/section would have maybe 2-5 challenges you had to pass, one after another, and the game’s instant deaths, fast respawn times and the ability to save anytime meant that there was no repercussion for my trial and error and I could keep trying and trying until I would find faster and faster ways of progressing and, often, hidden shortcuts that I hadn’t seen the first few times round. The gameplay promotes developing a mastery of it’s mechanics. These shortcuts are often found by thinking outside the box and playing around with levels’ systems and mechanics. For players looking for a challenge, as well as cassette tapes with B and C side levels, Celeste’s 8 main chapters are full of collectible strawberries which present a whole load of extra examples of really clever game design. For example, some of these collectible strawberries have wings and will fly straight up and out of the level if you use Madeline’s dash and so you have to think outside of the box and grab the strawberry without using the dash which is usually vital for getting from A to B. It’s this kind of design that stops the game from ever feeling dry or formulaic. Celeste’s levels constantly feel fresh, well paced and engaging. 

I’d also like to note that at the start of each level in the loading screen, Madeline receives a different postcard with useful information on it. Two stood out to me: one saying that you should be proud of your death count because it shows that you’re making mistakes and you’re learning; I found this message incredibly uplifting because at times frequent deaths had made me feel a little embarrassed or made me wonder if I was getting something seriously wrong. The other was that the collectible strawberries are entirely optional and only for showing off to your friends if you really want to. I think this was a brilliant move because it gives the player a little more control over the game’s pacing. You get to decide whether you’ll spend some time trying to grab this tricky strawberry or whether you’ll push on with the game and move into the next section.

Accessibility

Celeste is rightfully celebrated for it’s range of accessibility options, from it’s tactful and unobtrusive assist mode - for players who need to fine tune the game to their specific needs in order to get the same enjoyment out of the game, to it’s picture settings that reduce flashing and particle effects for people with photosensitive epilepsy or motion sickness. For more on Celeste’s assist mode, check out Game Maker’s Tool kit’s video on ‘What Makes Celeste’s Assist Mode Special’, you can find the link to that at the end of this post.

Soundtrack

Lena Raine’s soundtrack to Celeste is an audio marvel. Whether it’s daunting, uplifting, mysterious or moving; the soundtrack made me feel tied and invested to every moment. The music was just as much a journey as every second of gameplay. The soundtrack plays to the gameplay perfectly and occasionally leads to some really incredible moments. As well as Lena Raine’s marvellous score, Celeste’s B and C sides have a range of tracks and features by other artists like lo-fi artist ‘In Love With a Ghost’.

Narrative

Celeste deals with heavy subjects like depression and anxiety without ever being tasteless or insensitive but simultaneously the game manages to deal with these subjects in an uplifting way, much in line with the game’s core message. Each level feels rich with meaning and the games narrative is tightly interwound with it’s settings, characters and mechanics in a way that feels seamless and engaging.

Celeste uses profound metaphors to deliver it’s story and discuss mental health in each chapter of the main game. One of my favourite’s was Chapter three - ‘Celestial Resort’ - which had you help skittish spectral maître d’ clean away the clutter in his abandoned hotel. As you tidy away the hotel you find him seeming less anxious than the last time because you’re helping him order the clutter in his mind so he can finally have some peace. This also happens to be what Madeline needs at this point in her story and helping the maître d’ provides her with th clarity she needs to move on. This is one of the ways the game deals with heavier subject matter without dampening the player’s experience of the game and keeping an ‘upward momentum’.

The game’s narrrative, characters, environments and soundtrack all made me feel engrossed in my ascent of Celeste mountain. The mountain has a real sense of place, mystery and history that unveils itself to you as the story unfolds. I felt fully engaged in every setting because it felt like I’d come across something that nobody had seen in a long time. Even with Celeste’s generally fast paced gameplay, it never felt like I was ‘just passing through’ a location because the drive to explore and overcome challenges kept me searching every corner and taking time to explore when I wanted to.

Everything about Celeste contributes to it’s narrative. It’s gameplay pushes you to reflect and overcome challenges. Lena Raine’s soundtrack fits every scene like a glove and fills each moment with emotion in a constantly moving way. Characters will climb out of their Dialogue boxes in some scenes as if they’re really coming to life. Even the ‘chapter complete’ screens, at the end of each level, push the story forward and tell you where Madeline is going next. Celeste is a beautiful and important story,told in an ingenious way, unlike any other game I’ve played.

Is this game for you?

I would suggest Celeste to anyone looking for a new and different gaming experience and an uplifting story. It feels consistently fresh with perpetually ingenious level design and a really wonderful story. I’ve had more fun on Celeste than any triple A game I’ve played in a long time. I’d recommend Celeste to people looking for a hopeful story in what feels like quite a hopeless time because this is a story about never losing sight against all odds, friendship and support, and self-acceptance. It’s clever, inventive, charming and moving and I just love it and I’m pretty damn sure that you will too. Celeste is a permanent fixture of my PS4 library.

Can’t afford it?

I completely understand that lots of people may not have the funds right now or in the foreseeable future to get this game and if you choose to engage in piracy or any kind of swashbuckling then I’ll reserve my judgement but personally I would always rather support the developers so I’ve put togther some links to some ‘let’s-play’ series and videos about the game so you don’t have to pirate the game if you want to get the closest thing to the experience without having to take it illegally and get into legal trouble, damage your computer/console or promote activities typically detrimental to the developers.

Watchlist & sources

Here I’ve put together a semi-curated list of videos, articles and other resources about the game as well as some ‘Let’s Play’s and speed-runs:

GMTK - Mark Brown from Game Makers Tool Kit made two videos about Celeste which were really useful resources for writing this review. It was actually these videos which introduced me to the game in the first place so it’s only fair that I recommend them to you.

Why Does Celeste Feel So Good to Play? https://youtu.be/yorTG9at90g - This video talks about the design of Madeline’s controls and what makes Celeste such a satisfying to play.

What Makes Celeste’s Assist Mode Special https://youtu.be/NInNVEHj_G4 - This video looks at how the developers have confronted a fundamental problem in game design: balancing the design intentions and accessibility as well as player preferences.

More videos - Here are some more videos about this game that I love. The first two are a lot more focussed on the level design and how the game showed you the ropes and guides you to mastery and they’re both really well produced and written and really entertaining. The last one is a short and sweet documentary about Celeste’s development from pre-game to the design and how the story started to fall together.

How Celeste Teaches You It’s Mechanics - Good Game Design (Snoman Gaming) https://youtu.be/lZoQ9a7oPvo

Celeste: Breaking Down Level Design (OK Beast) https://youtu.be/w_aWMxcHrgw

The Story of Celeste’s Development (Noclip) https://youtu.be/c3mbELVqAmo

Let’s plays and speedruns

Celeste: Fruit Brute - PART 1 (Game Grumps) https://youtu.be/iB4KG2wABPA - This series by Game Grumps is really funny but it only covers the earlier parts of the game so if you’re only looking for a bit of gameplay then this is for you!

Celeste Let’s Play [Playlist] (TenMoreMinutes) https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLn5okaoIT7P5KvGs25IWmGPcM5kvowqqh - This series covers pretty much the whole game so if you’re just looking for something to watch then here it is!

Celeste Any% Speedrun in 27:31.4 (TGH) https://youtu.be/g2KqMYWviYk - A really impressive speedrun. This guy’s just trying to finish the game as fast as possible without worrying about the strawberries or the B and C sides.

Celeste All B Sides Speedrun in 26:46 (TGH) https://youtu.be/I76TcmlsRIk - This is another complete marvel by the same guy. This time he’s doing all the B side levels; the B sides really are substantially harder than the main game.

The Celeste Speedrun That Wasn’t Humanly Possible (IGN) https://youtu.be/yEKku8S5-fo - This is a short video about an AI designed to Speedrun games that did a super human run of Celeste.

Links

Celeste game accessibility guide http://gameaccessibilityguidelines.com/celeste-assist-mode/ - This is a great website if you’re interested in accessibility in games, I used it for the accessibility section of this review.

Notes

I may eventually write a piece in more detail about aspects of the game design that I really enjoyed but in the interest of keeping things spoiler free - this is all for my Review of Celeste. This is my first game review and there will be things I’ve done well and, in greater likelihood, things I’ve done not so well and I’d love to do better in future so share your thoughts with me! I’m on Instagram under @Fretened or you can contact me here on Tumblr, I’d love to hear what you think.

If you got this far, thanks for reading Xx

[videogametim]

My Top 10 Games of 2019

It was pretty hard to narrow down the list this year. 2019 was a lot stronger for video games than 2018 and I feel a LOT more confidant about my picks and GOTY choice. In addition, there were also a lot of indie games not mentioned here that I think I will highlight in another post a bit later. For now, here’s the Top 10.

10. Sayonara Wild Hearts (Simogo)

Sayonara Wild Hearts is something special. Although clocking in rather short at just under an hour long, I would best describe the game as an Album Video Game. Each of the game’s 23 or so levels has its own song. The actual gameplay consists of mostly on-rails segments where you have basic movement and avoid obstacles and collect pickups to boost your score, but every level has a unique take on that concept with major climax levels being full tracks with vocals. It’s incredibly stylistic and tells a heartwarming story about dealing with heartbreak. I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys musical games.

9. Fire Emblem: Three Houses (Intelligent Systems)

Fire Emblem: Three Houses is the first game in the series that managed to grab me. It’s a very competent tactical RPG with one of my favourite casts of characters this year (especially the Black Eagles house). I was consistently impressed the most with just the sheer amount of content and detail that went into it. An unnecessarily large amount of the dialogue is voiced, the second half of each of the three selectable house’s routes are totally unique, and each route takes around 60 hours to complete. I really never thought a Fire Emblem game would be my new most played game on the Switch by a mile but here we are. 

8. AI: The Somnium Files (Spike Chunsoft)

Kotaro Uchikoshi’s (creator of the Zero Escape trilogy) latest work might be his finest. AI: The Somnium Files is the game on the list this year with the most heart put into it. Consistently funny and over-the-top, a wonderful cast, and a really well executed sci-fi murder mystery. It makes me hope that Uchikoshi continues to make the kinds of games he wants to make, because you can definitely tell he had the most fun making this one.

7. Resident Evil 2 (Capcom)

Resident Evil 2 is the new gold standard for game remakes. I could go on and on praising it for how good it feels to play, the sound design, and the painstaking detail of recreating the original game from the ground up to be a third-person shooter. Quality of Life changes like the map marking items and telling you when a room is cleared and telling you when it’s okay to throw away key items are such fantastic additions. It gives me really high hopes for the RE3 Remake next year. Capcom’s hotstreak continues.

6. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (From Software)

Sekiro rightfully earns its spot as my second favourite FromSoft game. The Souls formula is still there, but the gameplay is fairly different now. Taking Bloodborne’s aggressiveness encouragement another step forward, Sekiro rewards not giving the enemies a chance to breathe more than ever. Boss battles are a tug-of-war of trying to break each other’s posture and perfect blocking to mitigate it. The dodge button pushes you forward by default and you often hope to have your attack blocked more than a it be a direct hit. Some of my favourite FromSoft bosses reside in this game with the final boss perhaps being my favourite overall. Level design is also at its best with the game finally giving you a greater range of movement and verticality with jumping and grappling. There’s even decent stealth mechanics. Sekiro was a really pleasant surprise and I hope they continue The Wolf’s story.

5. Judgement (Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio)

Judgement is a Yakuza game in all but name, and RGG Studio’s first one set in Kamurocho without Kiryu as the main character. After giving up being an attorney, Takayuki Yagami becomes a freelance detective and investigates a series of murders in the city with the help of his former law office and ex-Tojo clan friend Masaharu Kaito. Substories are framed as side cases that Yagami can take on to earn some extra money, and new mini-games like drone racing and the Paradise VR board game are incredible additions. Anyone who is a fan of the Yakuza series should really check this out, and newcomers can jump right in without prior knowledge. 

4. Disco Elysium (ZA/UM)

Disco Elysium has some of the best writing I have ever seen in a video game. As an amnesiac detective, you explore the rundown post-wartime district of Martinnaise trying to find who was behind the lynching of a mercenary before the situation gets out of control. What sets Disco Elysium apart from other RPGs in terms of gameplay is its character builds. As there is no combat, the 24 skills that you can put points into when you level up are all social skills. The higher you have various skills leveled, the more you will hear advice from them during conversation trees. A high Authority level will constantly remind you to tell people you are The Law, where a high level in Inland Empire will let you talk to inanimate objects to gain new perspectives. I also feel I have to give a nod to your partner throughout the game, Kim Kitsuragi. I’d rather not give anything away but they could not have written a better character to support you throughout your journey. I’ll likely be thinking about this game for a very long time.

3. Control (Remedy Entertainment)

I think Control flew under a lot of people’s radars until the publicity from the overwhelming number of Game Awards nominations. Control is a game for people who like SCP, psychokinesis powers, cool architecture, and a bit of Alan Wake. It wears its inspirations very blatantly on its sleeve and wraps a very cool story and even better side quests around them. It’s very stylish and has phenomenal lighting. Perhaps this is my Remedy bias but I really really adored this game and featured the coolest moment of the year for me. Please check it out if you get the opportunity.

2. Kingdom Hearts III (Square Enix)

Kingdom Hearts III has been a long time coming and what I think it nails best are the size and scale of the worlds. Olympus is the best its ever been with how much of the area outside the Colosseum you get to explore. The Caribbean is more expansive with boat combat that’s better than it has any right to be. Monstropolis has a great original story with some incredible tie-ins to the Kingdom Hearts plot. There’s a ton of incredible fanservice moments too for everyone waiting to see their favourite characters again. I still think a lot of it is really hype albeit cheesy, and it finally puts to rest an arc that has been going since the very first game. Kingdom Hearts isn’t over, but KHIII wraps a lot of things up in as satisfying of a way as they could for a story so expansive and often times convoluted. It’s very rare when a game that has been anticipated for so long not only doesn’t fumble it, but delivers on what I had hoped for, so I’m really glad it got to finally release this year.

1. Devil May Cry 5 (Capcom)

Speaking of games that I’ve been waiting a very long time for, DMC IS BACK! Every moment of DMC5 is a treat. Dante and Nero are at their most fun to play in this game, and V is a very cool addition both story-wise and gameplay-wise.This is the game from this year that I’ve kept going back to the most whether it’s for getting good at harder difficulties, or playing through bloody palace until floor 70 and give up ,or practicing with different weapons. It makes me happy to know that Platinum haven’t just been relegated to being the character action studio and that Hideaki Itsuno’s still got it. There’s no question that this is my Game of the Year and anyone who loves action games but hasn’t ever jumped into this series really needs to address that because DMC5 alone is worth it. 

That’s all for my GOTY 2019 Top 10. If you’ve read this far, thanks for doing so. I really enjoy writing these and there’s a lot to look forward to in video games next March year, so please join me again next time when we can do this all over again!

[savage-rhi]

Hey sweetheart, from 100 whump dialogue prompts, 8 pleaseee 😍

8) “Do you really think they could ever love you?” ooooo nonny this is gonna be good cause I got a similar line in an uncut chapter of Sky of Atoms I did, so Imma share it! Thank you hon, enjoy :D!

Little Knot was a chaotic hell. Gene lost track of the screams as her and Higgs attempted to make a beeline out of the settlement. There were way more people than she guessed living here. Several sticking out till the bitter end either to fight the intruders or the fires that were consuming their homes. Gene thought she brought a curse upon them, by leading Homo Demens right to the settlement. Guilt already spiked in her gut from the thought. Higgs and her should have never come this way. Gene should have listened to Higgs when they were at the hot spring, keep low and avoid all people due to the severity of the package she carried, but Gene wouldn’t hear it; not wanting to go without food or water for three days, like they had done before. They needed interaction with others in order to survive and bargain. Gene was wishing to hell Higgs would have fought her tooth and nail on the subject, but he never did.

Gene panted heavily as the grip of Higgs’s hand on hers tightened. She noticed he was doing everything in his power to prevent people from trampling over her, even taking the brunt of bodies flying their way.

“Over here!”

A feminine voice from afar called out to Gene and Higgs as they ran, avoiding crowds of people running to either fight or flee. Bullets were not far behind, and Gene counted them both lucky they had yet to be hit. They were so close that Gene could feel them fly past her. Those that were sticking by to fight the terrorist group distracted them long enough to where Higgs rushed with Gene over to a line of vehicles. One by one they were taking off, trying to get far away from Little Knot.

Gene was going to say something about their predicament, only to have Higgs grab her by the waist and hoist her to the back of the vehicle. She reached her hand down to help him up, but horror crossed her features. Higgs wasn’t taking her hand. There was a determined look she had never seen before on him as his eyes lingered on Gene’s face, like he was dedicating her to memory because it would be the last time they’d see one another.

“Higgs, you can’t stay here!” Gene exclaimed as the woman in charge of the survivors in the back told the driver up front to give them a bit more time so they could pick up more people before breaking out of dodge.

“This is my quarrel, not yours.” Higgs said firmly as he glared at her. Gene shook her head, feeling denial race in her pulse.

“No, we can do this together! I can help!” She protested as he held up a hand.

“Girl, if you even think about jumping out of this vehicle I’ll never forgive you for it!” He nearly screamed as Gene could feel warm tears threatening to leave her eyes.

“Higgs I can’t--”

“Yes, yes, you can. You did great without me before honey, and you’ll be okay after. You’re a porter Gene, and you got something important to deliver. Don’t disappoint me.”

“We gotta bail guys! Go, go, go!” the female in the back exclaimed as two more men managed to jump in.. Before Gene could further protest Higgs staying behind, the engine came to life and they were out of the area in a blink of an eye. Gene watched as Higgs disappeared into the chaos behind them and saw his shadow run straight forward into combat.

Higgs backtracked upon entering the small town, watching as flames began to consume everything in its path. Higgs swore to himself he would protect Gene from Deeter, and if that meant dying in the process, he was more than willing to do it. He managed to find a gun nearby and kept it close to him, shoving stragglers out of the way as he followed the sound of bullets raining upon people’s bodies. 

Higgs used the smoke from the fire to shield himself, and when he noticed Deeter was distracted while gunning down more people, Higgs leaped and started to bash Deeter’s head in with the back of the handgun he had. The impact was strong enough to knock Deeter’s AK-47 out of his hands, the weapon tumbling to the side as the two men began to fight. 

The battle between the former colleagues was grueling. Each of them meeting each other’s punches with kicks and blows. Though Higgs was strong, Deeter was gaining the upper hand. His upper body strength was far superior, and Higgs could feel himself getting backed into a corner. Higgs managed to break Deeter’s nose, kneeing him to the stomach until he was bashed in the mouth, kicked to the ground. 

Higgs knew something was fractured, but before he could crawl back up, Deeter continued to kick and tumble him. Higgs’s yells and whimpers began to flood as he tried to shield himself to no avail. He was a bloody pulp by the time Deeter was done toying with him like a cat chewing on a mouse carcass. 

The new leader of Homo Demens crouched down beside Higgs, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and forced Higgs to look directly at his eyes. A low chuckle escaped Deeter’s mouth as he shook his head in disappointment. The gesture reminded Higgs of his Daddy, getting ready to scold him for something stupid and that further enraged him. 

“You tried Higgy. I gotta hand it to you, for a moment there, I thought you were gonna win. As I suspected though, you’re nothing without your powers.” Deeter mocked, the callousness in his voice stinging Higgs’s ego as he spat right in Deeter’s face. 

“Fuck you! You’re not getting out of here--not while I’m still alive.” Higgs managed to gruffly blurt out before he was met with a throbbing pain to his face. Deeter has smashed his fist into Higgs’s head, his mind pulsating with heaviness as he groaned, trying to keep himself conscious. 

“Nothing you do is gonna save your little porter from me.” Deeter whispered, his tone borderline seductive as Higgs growled and forced himself to put everything he had left into a punch. He managed to take Deeter by surprise, bashing his face in with an uppercut. Higgs got onto his feet, attempting to kick Deeter only for his world to turn upside down. Deeter got a hold of Higgs’s body and slammed him down. Higgs’s back met the earth with a powerful shake to his spine, causing the wind to get knocked out of him while Deeter in his bloodied state, looked down upon Higgs with pity. 

“All this over the little roadrunner? I knew you had a soft spot for the poor creature, but this is low even for you.” Deeter taunted, chuckling darkly as he snorted and swallowed his own blood mixed with snot. There was a look in Higgs’s eyes then that caught Deeter’s attention in full, a spark that was rare to see in a man. It was enough to get the new leader of Homo Demens to let up from hurting Higgs, as he laughed. His voice mocking what Higgs’s face had betrayed. 

“Oh my stars, you love her, don’t you?” Deeter asked, watching as Higgs’s eyes widened briefly before he sneered. 

“Higgy, Higgy, Higgy--sweet little lover boy, with the kind of man you are, do you really think they could ever love you?” 

Higgs knew Deeter was trying to break him. He wasn’t going to let Deeter exploit Gene, not like this. Everything Deeter said was true, but Gene wasn’t Higgs’s weakness. She was his strength. 

“I’m really going to enjoy my time with her knowing this. You’ll thank me later.”

“If you touch one fucking strand of her hair---” The animosity in Higgs’s voice was like no other. Pure rage rattled his throat, even taking Deeter aback as he interrupted Higgs by slamming his stomach with his left boot. 

“By the time I get to Gene and have my way, you’ll be gone.” Deeter whispered, watching as blood and bile began to pool out of the corners of Higgs’s mouth. The suffering groans that escaped him was music to Deeter’s ears as he shook his head, and began to take his leave through the smoke and ash. 

“Even if you survive the internal bleeding I gave you, you’ll never make it past the fire! I’ll be sure to tell Gene how you went out in glory!” Deeter laughed, leaving Higgs to slowly die. 

Alone, and afraid for Gene’s life above his own, Higgs forced himself to crawl. He had to save her. He had to do something, but his body had other plans. Higgs struggled between wanting to die and wanting to live before, but never like this. 

**A link to my ko-fi account. If you enjoy my content and want to support me getting my monthly medication for fibromyalgia and arthritis, I would be eternally grateful. It is NOT a requirement however! All my work is free to read!**

[txladyj-blog]

This Time Around - Chapter 19

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx​ by request of @txladyj-blog​

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Tags: Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Awkwardness, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Crush, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Humor, Mild Smut, Strong Language, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, Some Canon Scenes and Dialogue

Chapters 24/?

Aaron had been saying he was going to fix the creaky decking outside the front door of his house for months. His busy recruiting schedule and his role as general adviser and the person to aid Deanna in her decisions meant that he had very little spare time. When he did, he often pitched in at the vegetable patches or with supply runs. Not many of Alexandria’s residents were used to leaving the compound and some of them had never been outside of the walls. So, Aaron volunteered so the others didn’t have to.

Jess stood on the squeaky panel and exhaled through her teeth. She’d been standing in front of the door for around ten minutes, tied up in the decision of whether or not to attend the party after all. Aaron was graced with a glimpse of the dress and had given her his expert opinion that it was, in fact, the perfect length and that she didn’t have anything to worry about. But she still rammed the point home that it didn’t mean she was definitely going to attend.

Annoyed at the thought of being unable to remove her foot from the panel without alerting the occupants of the house to her presence, she shrugged her backpack off and pulled the zipper back, rubbing her thumb over the fabric of the dress. A make-up bag that she’d taken from the hotel supply run clunked to the bottom of the bag. She found it hard to believe that she’d even got that far, to the point where she was about to ask Aaron and Eric help her get ready for a party that was undoubtedly going to terrify her, all while wearing something she felt exposed and vulnerable in. However, it couldn’t be said that Jess shied away from change and progression, having survived for months alone on the outside and teaching herself a whole new set of skills. If she could do that, she could go to a stupid party.

She took a quick glance down at herself. Her heavy, knee high boots, her thick but tight jeans, her armored top, hooded jacket and her arms covered by archery bracers. This was how she was comfortable now; this was who she had become. She was never a dress wearing, social butterfly. But all she had to do was show up. Show up and show her face.

Eric let her in once she’d built up the courage to knock on the door and she saw Aaron emerge from the kitchen.

“Evening” she grunted at them both.

“Parker. You made a decision?” Aaron inquired, noting the backpack in her hand.

“Actually, I did.” She replied.

Reaching up with one hand, she took her hood down and pulled off her mask. Shaking her long dark hair free. Eric and Aaron’s faces drop with surprise and they swapped stunned glances.

“Anyone any good with make-up?” Jess asked nonchalantly

“Oh my god” Eric squealed, tapping Aaron’s arm

“Hi. I’m Jess.” She said with a small and nervous smile “nice to meet you.”

It was the first time either of them had ever seen her face. The persona she’d created to enable her to work inside Alexandria was now on its way out. No longer feeling the need to be nothing but a silhouette with one name, Jess felt she owed to Aaron and Eric to reveal the truth in order to thank them for their unwavering kindness. Aaron slowly approached her and she noted the affection and pride in his eyes.

“I knew you were pretty under there” He stated.

“Jess.” Eric echoed “That’s your real name?”

“Yes. Jessica. Just call me Jess.” She confirmed. “Parker was my brother’s name”

“Why now?” Aaron asked

“We’re not wired to be alone” she whispered “you guys are good to me. You deserved to know the truth first. Besides, can’t go to this party wearing a mask. It doesn’t match my dress”

Both men appeared taken aback once more and Eric lowered himself down onto the arm of the couch.

“You’re not taking your mask to the party?” He questioned.

Aaron already knew the answer, she was done with being incognito and a mystery. Now, she was going to be Jess, she was going to be herself and he had a sneaking suspicion that a certain crossbow wielding archer had something to do with it.

“Didn’t you hear her?” He turned to Eric “She said it won’t match her dress” He grinned.

“You have a dress?!” Eric questioned. Aaron laughed and beckoned for Jess to hand over her backpack

“She has a dress.”

 *

Make-up was another thing that Jess was not proficient at. A smidge of foundation and mascara were about the lengths she went to before the turn and in the apocalypse, she hadn’t expected to have to navigate the treacherous world of how much effort it took to be a girl. When Eric confessed to knowing a little about make-up due to his time working in theatre, she let him take control and trusted him not to turn her into a laughing stock. When he was done, she sat at the dining table in front of a mirror and studied the image of the girl staring back at her. Her blemishes were covered, her eyebrows shaped and her eyes larger, more defined with curled lashes. Her lips were tinted pink and her cheekbones more defined.

“Doesn’t look like me,” She said under her breath.

“Yes, it does” Eric corrected “It’s just the enhanced version. You don’t like it?”

He picked up a pack of wipes from the table, poised and ready to rub it all off for her until she tilted her head to one side at her reflection in a pensive and tense pause. Behind them, Aaron stood with his hands on his hips, smiling down at her.

“Actually. I love it. Thank you.” She grinned as she pointed at the mirror “I have cheekbones”

“Mighty fine cheekbones they are too. You’re welcome.” Eric said, giving her shoulder a pat and collecting up scattered make-up items from the table. When he left the room, Aaron took a seat beside her and drummed his fingers on the table and leaning in to her to move her attention from her newly made-up face to him.

“Are you going to tell him?” He asked.

“Hmm? Tell who, what?” She answered with no clue what he was referring to

“Daryl. You like him.” He stated plainly.

Jess focused back on her make-up in the mirror and shifted her eyes to see Aaron meet her gaze in the reflection. She stared at him with suspicious eyes, where could this have come from? She’d not breathed a word to anyone. It was like he was a mind reader.

“I don’t like him. I mean, I do. But not like that” She divulged

“OK.” He chirped

“OK?” She repeated after not expecting her lie to be believed.

“Yeah, OK. You’ll come to me once the denial wears off.” He said, sitting back in his seat and crossing his arms. If his intuition was as good as Deanna always says it was, he could almost guarantee that she would give in and admit it if he just gave her space and didn’t push too much. The revealing of her face was a huge milestone and one that screamed ‘I trust you’ and so, Aaron thought himself to be the best person for the job. The job of pushing Jess to her next hurdle, admitting her feelings to the man she cared about.

Jess sighed deeply and looked down at her hands on the table. She swallowed and it felt like her throat had turned to sand. The painful truth of how she saw herself and the situation making itself known.

“I can’t ever tell him.” She whispered, not bothering to lie anymore. Her voice was so quiet, so broken that Aaron almost misheard her.

“Why not?” He questioned.

“He’ll never want me in that way.” She admitted sadly.

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.” She turned to him, “I’m not that girl, Aaron. I’m not pretty and smart and beautiful.”

“Jess, you might feel that way, like to everyone else you’re somehow below them. But you’re kind of a big deal around here. To Alexandria and it’s people, to Deanna, to me and Eric and yes, to Daryl… you’re all kinds of amazing.” He watched her face closely as her eyes lifted up to his. “You are your own worst enemy. You don’t have to be perfect to be strong and brave and beautiful. I see how you and Daryl look at each other, it’s just that little bit too long for you to just be friends.”

Jess felt like crying at the understanding and thoughtfulness with which Aaron had delivered his take on who she was and how she was seen. But it still wasn’t enough to convince her to absolve herself of the burden of her feelings for Daryl. She was convinced her telling him the truth would only wreck things and so far, their friendship had grown to a level that she treasured.

“You’ve been reading too many self-help books” she joked with a thin smile.

“Maybe. But at least I know a person's worth.” He stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders over her Kevlar vest “I don’t want to hear you say anything like that again. You���re a badass. You hear me?”

“I hear you” she giggled.

 *

With Aaron on one arm and Eric on the other, Jess sucked in a deep breath and grounded herself when Eric rang the doorbell to the huge, white, corner plot house that Deanna lived in. Inside, she could hear the bustling of a crowd of people, along with quiet music and chatter. In the grounds, some people smoked and wandered, the inside not having the capacity to hold everyone from the town. It hadn’t been easy to get her there and Eric and Aaron were expecting to have to drag her inside kicking and screaming. After two failed attempts to convince them to let her wear her usual clothes and stay for half an hour, they’d endured a meltdown over her shoes and what felt like seven million requests to assure her that her dress was not too short.

Jess drummed her fingers on both legs and soon felt both Aaron and Eric lower their hands to stop her when the door opened and Deanna stepped into view. She beamed at the two men and regarded Jess as if she were a stranger for a moment. It wasn’t until she stepped closer that her face lit up in surprise and she gently placed her hands on either side of Jess’s face.

“Oh my” She gasped “Parker?!”

She didn’t know what gave away her identity, she looked nothing like the machete wielding, hooded and masked archer of regular days. Maybe it was her arrival flanked by the supportive presence of Aaron and Eric that gave the game away. Or, maybe it was Deanna’s intuition alone.

“M-my name is Jess.” Her words felt they were too complicated to voice but there they were, in a stuttered mess and tumbling out with no control. “Not Parker. Parker was my brother…Uh, Hi”

Deanna stepped back enough to be able to see all of her with a wide grin. If she was shocked, she hid it well and came across as simply happy to be able to see who Jess really was.

“Hi, Jess. It’s so nice to finally see that face of yours and to know your real name” She told her sincerely.

“Thought you deserved to know who I am. You’ve been good to me.” Jess told her.

“Not as good as you have been to us.” Deanna felt the need to point out.

It wasn’t a secret that Jess’s hunting and security sweeps were paramount to the community and more recently, she’d been helping with supply runs. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by Deanna that she appeared to be involving herself more and becoming less and less of an outcast. Her lack of mask at the party was a victory in itself.

“Please” She beckoned “Come in. enjoy yourselves.”

“I brought two dates.” Jess blurted out of nowhere “Guess men are like busses. Wait for one and then two come along at once. What’s a girl to do, huh?”

Deanna simply blinked and ignored the comment and Eric looked over at his partner behind Jess’s back and gave him a perturbed frown.

“That was weir -” He whispered.

“-Shh!” Aaron hissed.

*

Daryl stood with Carol, Glenn and Abraham and made no attempt to join in with the chatter. On several occasions, Glenn had tried to encourage him to have a beer only to be met with a curt dismissal and the notion that he really was not in the mood.

Jess’s arrival was met with a double take by Daryl. The first thing he picked up on was her lack of a mask, her true identity out there for all to see. Rick and Michonne hugged her and quietly communicated their happiness at her decision to show the rest of Alexandria who she was. People she didn’t know too well wandered past and shook her hand and she nervously told each and every one of them her real name, shedding her previous guise with each and every acknowledgement that she was, in fact, the notorious Parker. Only by the time she’d reached the buffet table, grabbed a handful of potato chips and returned to the protective wing of Aaron, Parker no longer existed.

The second thing he clocked was her attire. Her dark red dress cinched in her waist and showed off her curves. He found himself biting down on his lower lip and letting out a long breath as he watched people move in a conveyor belt like fashion to her, Jess accepting compliment after compliment and smiling politely when underneath it all, he knew she was screaming. Soft, dark curls rested on her shoulders and she’d never looked so feminine and elegant. It wasn’t entirely who she was, he recognized that much but try as he might, he just could not dislike what he was seeing. For the first time in as far back as he could remember, he found his attraction was of more of a sexual nature than he had realized. Moreover, he was beginning to face the fact that a dark red, shapely dress was not where it had started at all.

“Excuse me, folks, I have serious business with this here woman” Abraham's voice interrupted Daryl’s admiring of his best friend and sent a stab of anger through him.

Jess spotted the big, red-headed man through the crowd and instantly went to him, allowing him a short hug that he quite obviously tried to prolong by clinging to her a little too tight. When she coaxed him away from her, she caught sight of Daryl just past his shoulder. He nudged his head up at her in acknowledgement and she gave him a small wave, conservative and simple. He mirrored her, surprised she was even there, despite her telling him she would be, and happy about it nevertheless.

Abraham gave Jess a once over, carefully taking in every bit of her and her outfit from head to toe.

“Well, ain’t you a peach?” He grinned, “What do you say we uh, ditch this joint and make a little fun of our own?”

No matter how happy the sight of Jess made Daryl, Abraham’s shameless flirting managed to chip away at him. He hated the way she giggled and laughed at him, the playful way she slapped his arm and told him to stop. To the outsider, they looked like a new couple and that bothered Daryl. He moved closer, a morbid curiosity about what was being said. Aaron stood dutifully by Jess’s side and handed her a drink which looked like orange juice, but she looked down at the rippling, carroty liquid in the glass and sniffed it before she took a sip. A grimace spread across her face and she dipped her head, spitting the mouthful of drink back into the glass and quickly checking her surroundings for anyone that could be looking her way. She sneakily turned her body and then poured the rest of the drink into a plant pot behind her and clutched the empty glass as if she’d drank every last drop. Unbeknownst to her, Daryl was witness to it and it almost made him laugh out loud.

She’s adorable.

“You know she has a bow?” Abraham was rambling at Aaron and gesturing wildly at Jess.

“Uh, yes, I do know that.” Aaron replied.

“Ahh, a decent weapon of choice. You live by it; you die by it… and eat potato puffs by it. Pray to God you don’t have to use it again. Pray to God you don’t get used to not using it again. It’s on your back… even when it’s off your back. Hmm.”

Jess swapped an uneasy glance with Aaron. How could he be so drunk already? The party started less than an hour ago.

“Abe, how many drinks have you had?” she inquired.

“I am a very large man. I have had many beers to make up for that.” He slurred as he gave his stomach a rub and swallowed a burp. “What? I’m livin’, darlin’! You wanna live a little with me tonight?”

Jess rolled her eyes and giggled, along with Aaron, who was finding the whole exchange rather bizarre.

Daryl kept to the sidelines, next to Carol who wasn’t unaware of where his concentration was focused. She plucked a bottle of beer from the table beside her and handed it to him but he failed to notice while he was too busy glowering at Abraham belly laughing with Jess across the room. Carol nudged his arm and a restrained flinch told her he’d been snapped out of his thoughts. He peered down at the beverage in her hand and shook his head.

“Already told Glenn, I ain't drinkin’.”

“Why?” She pressed.

“’Cause I’m a shitty drunk.” He grumbled.

“Daryl, take the beer and relax.” She scolded, extending her arm further.

“Can’t.” He grunted, lifting his eyes back to Jess and Abraham. Carol followed his vision and nodded. Now, it made sense.

“Because Jess looks very beautiful and you can’t stop staring at her.” She stated bravely, adopting a bright smile and a smug glint in her eye. It was likely that he would go from zero to a hundred on the bad temper scale in seconds, but his moody nature didn’t scare her, she probably knew him best out of everyone and at times, could read him like a book. On this occasion, she was seeing something she’d never seen before, but she knew exactly what it was; Daryl had a crush on Jess. He turned his head to her, blinked a couple of times and without a word, snatched the beer from her hand and took a gulp so big half of the liquid was gone in one mouthful.

“No.” He argued. “Just hate parties.”

“So, you don’t think she looks beautiful?” She continued; aware she was treading on thin ice but enjoying the risk anyway. She was bold enough to enjoy poking at Daryl’s temper, knowing he would always forgive her and usually took jest in his stride.

“Didn’t say that.” He muttered under his breath.

“Maybe you should go tell her.” She suggested.

“What are ya doin’, Carol?” he demanded, feeling his temper being tested.

“What? I see things.” She said innocently.

“You don’t see shit. We’re friends.”

Not only was Rick dropping hints, Carol was charging in with her two cents like a bull in a china shop. Daryl felt like everyone could read his mind, like his innermost thoughts were being sent out in a daily memo and it was getting tedious. He wouldn’t be pushed into anything by anyone, especially if it would jeopardize the most precious relationship that he’d ever had with anyone. He’d told Jess he didn’t want to lose her again and that was a good enough reason to keep his thoughts to himself.

“Oh, OK. I still think you should tell her she looks nice. Friends do that, you know.” Carol suggested before breezing through the crowd and cheering a polite greeting to a woman that lived in the house across the street from them.

Needing to be preoccupied away from the alluring curves of his friend and her drunken admirer, Daryl decided to see what the buffet table had to offer and stood before it, clueless when he scanned the many trays of apocalyptic canapes. Shrugging, he selected one from the nearest tray, some kind of creamy substance wrapped in something green. He held it up between his thumb and forefinger and squinted at it.

The hell is that? Why don’t these people eat real food? Could have cooked up a stew or somethin’.

 *

All too aware that she’d spent longer talking to Abraham than the one man she really did want to have a conversation with, Jess smiled when she spotted Daryl throwing random snacks into his mouth and appearing disgusted by every single one. She excused herself and took a quick walk past the drinks table. She selected a beer and set off in his direction with no idea what she was planning to say to him. Then, it didn’t even matter anymore, when she swerved to avoid another party goer and her heart jumped into her throat. Falling off her heels, she was plummeting backwards and the ceiling was in her field of vision, one of her legs raising up while the other lost its grip and all at once she’d accepted her fate; she was going to end up on the floor with her underwear on show, right in front of Daryl.

Abraham reacted extremely quickly for someone so full of beer and in seconds, his arms were under hers and he’d propped her back up on her feet, his hands still holding her waist.

“Easy! Looks like I get my consolation prize after all!” He roared with laughter. “Someone’s a cheap date.”

The smile plastered on Jess’s face couldn’t have been more fake. Her hands were shaking and her heart was pounding. She may not have hit the floor, but the scene was enough to draw the glances of almost half of the room.

Stupid fucking heels.

At that point, staying in the room was no longer an option. Jess needed an escape and raced through the house to the back door like a bat out of hell. Before he could even ask if she was alright, she thudded her beer on the buffet table and shot past Daryl, who had his mouth full with food he hated and had just had to endure Abraham catching the girl he liked as if it were something from a romantic comedy. He wished he was sat on the porch reading to Judith. He wished he was anywhere else but there, but Jess being with him would have been ideal.

 *

Outside, the air was biting now night had fallen and Jess could see her breath but she cared very little if she died from hypothermia in that moment, in fact she welcomed the sweet release of death that would inevitably spare her from the scathing embarrassment she was experiencing. Aaron was hot on her heels the whole time and when she finally stopped pacing up and down the back porch, he held up his hands to halt her.

“Did you see that? I almost died,” She snapped.

“Well, that’s a little dramatic. You just fell.” He said, playing down the event.

“I can’t walk in these heels… they’re-they’re dangerous, who the hell even wears these death traps?! They’re like Stilts. Stilts! I was lucky, that could have been a whole lot worse. I mean, what if Abe didn’t catch me in time?” She rambled at a wide-eyed Aaron. “There would have been panties on show and everything! Maybe I should take the boots off”

She lifted a leg and attempted to maneuver around her foot to the zipper on her boot. Hopping around on the spot and swaying dangerously close to falling over again, Aaron took hold of both of her arms and steadied her.

“Leave the boots on, Jess” He instructed. “Chill. Everything’s fine.”

“My ass is cold.” She declared. “This dress is too short. I think I have a zit, too. Do I have a zit? Look, can you see it? It’s right there”

She jutted her chin out at him and pointed to an empty space that contained nothing but make-up and flawless skin.

“No. Will you relax? Please?” Aaron sighed. Her level of anxiety was now through the roof and no amount of soothing was going to help her. It was time to leave her to her own devices and hope she managed to calm herself. “Just, take a minute.”

“Let me stay here a while and people watch. I’ll come back in when I’ve gotten amnesia and the last few minutes have been wiped from my memory.” She pleaded. She was certain that some time without the pressures of a confined space and so much small talk would do her good.

“Ok, I’ll be just inside if you need me.” He assured her with a gentle squeeze of her arm.

 *

Through the glass of the back door, Daryl could see Aaron’s failed efforts to quell Jess’s obvious discomfort. Once the coast was clear and he was sure she was alone, he set off in pursuit of her and discovered that she was slowly sashaying back and forth, nibbling on her thumbnail and shivering. When she turned to embark on another lap of the decking, she watched him step outside and slowly wander over to her. He looked apprehensive and held two beers in one hand with the other pushed into his jeans pocket. His hair looked slightly styled, straighter and neater than usual and she could clearly see his eyes, now not obscured by the usual messy waves of the front of his hair.

Oh shit. I don’t like him. I don’t like him. I don’t like him.

“Hi”

I like him.

“Hi. Welcome to the introvert side of the party.” She quipped sarcastically.

He lifted his shoulders, acknowledging the cold and how it nipped at his skin and held out the hand that contained the two, glass beer bottles laced between his fingers.

“Left it on the buffet table.” He reminded her, only receiving a lift of the corner of her mouth in thanks. She lifted it to her lips and swallowed a mouthful.

His breath billowed out in white clouds and he furrowed his brow. She had stopped walking around and was now stationary and trembling, hugging her torso. Daryl pulled his hand from his pocket, touching her arm with the back of his fingers.

“Fuck, Jess. Ya freezin’.” He remarked, seemingly shocked by her need to be outside in such cold temperatures because it was easier than being inside with other people who were all huddled in their groups, talking about the girl who forgot her mask and nearly ended up on the floor. He turned and vanished back through the door, returning seconds later holding a Navy-Blue coat. He took a step closer to her and she could feel his breath on the side of her face, he draped the coat over her shoulders and paused. Her gaze flickered to her left, where his eyes met hers and he could see their deep blue hue through her darkened eyelashes. Jess wasn’t sure how long he stood there with his line of vision darting from her eyes to her mouth but she did have the sight of his enthralled face imprinted into her memory. He licked his lips, cleared his throat and drew the lapels of the coat around her, crossing them at her front to keep her warm and finally, he moved back.

Ugh. Daryl! Stop being so perfect.

“Whose jacket is this?” she asked.

“I dunno.”

“Daryl!” She exclaimed “you just stole someone's jacket!”

“Ain't like they’re usin’ it. Ya gonna freeze to death out here.” He argued.

She chuckled at him and he briefly checked inside to make sure no one was looking for the coat. Having to take it off her again wouldn’t have gone down well for him and his effort be chivalrous and protective.

“So, whatcha doin?” He questioned, already knowing the answer from having seen everything through the back door. But he wanted to be near her, to talk to her, she was the only reason he had turned up, after all. Rick’s disappointment at his absence, he could handle. But giving up an opportunity to see Jess just didn’t make sense and now he’d seen her in a dress, he was glad about the choice he’d made.

“Honestly? Hiding.” She admitted.

“Thought so. Kinda intense in there, huh?” he mused. It was something they both had in common, the dislike for big, social events and being made to attend when it provoked nothing but unease and resentment.

“Don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Yeah” He huffed “same. Glenn’s tryin’ to get me drunk. Say’s it’ll ‘wind me down’. I’ma wind him down if he keeps on.”

When they both released breathy laughs, there was an instant of pure peace around them which Daryl wished he could have prolonged before she placed a hand on the rail of the porch and they entered into a long and awkward silence. She deliberately kept her vision cast out to the back yard, where she could barely see anything but it was all she could do to avoid staring at him and his scrubbed-up appearance. Daryl dragged his eyes over her body, her shapely legs in heels, her long eyelashes and accentuated cheekbones.

Trouble never looked so damn fine. He thought.

“Well, here she is!” Came Abraham’s booming voice through the door “She’s wearin’ my jacket! If that ain't a sign I don’t know what is!” He thudded over to Jess and hung a big arm around her shoulders. “You comin’ home with me, sweetheart?”

“Only to help Rosita kick your ass.” Jess laughed, noting Daryl’s stony face.

‘He’s a little drunk’ She mouthed to him.

“Can see that.” Daryl grumbled, stepping aside so Abraham could steer Jess back into the house, tucked under his arm like a prize.

 *

Finding herself to be the topic of most conversations at the party, Jess was beginning to feel like a monkey in a zoo once all of the party-goers realized that she was the masked hunter of the town that never showed her face. To her annoyance, yet more people introduced themselves to her, shook her hand and spoke of how good it was to be able to see who she was. Jess couldn’t have disagreed more and in part, she regretted the decision to turn up in anything other than what she would normally wear. She could hide in her hood and behind her mask and still keep up the same facade that had protected her for so long. Now, she had to make small talk and mingle with the locals as if it came naturally, which it very much did not.

With Abraham in pursuit of more beer and Daryl apparently still skulking around outside on the back porch, Jess happened to end up alone. That was, until two well-presented brunettes and a blonde woman who Jess knew to have two young sons cornered her and set off on a rambling speech about how their kids had referred to Jess as ‘The lady’ since she arrived and she’d always been a mysterious figure to them that they swapped stories about and admired. She couldn’t think of the correct way to react and so spent a lot of time fake smiling and nodding until she spotted Carol walk past and hoped with everything that she had that she would save her from the nightmare that was chit chat with someone she hardly knew. When she didn’t, Jess was conscious of the fact that she’d been stood there for a good ten minutes and hadn’t spoken a single word. Worried she was coming across as ignorant, she was forced to come up with something herself and began to search her mind for a topic of interest when the atmosphere grew quiet and expectant.

“Did you know that the gestation period of Prion Disease, that’s what you get from eating human flesh, is ten years? I mean, that’s a long time when you consider that most diseases are only like 30 days. With the exception of some strains of Malaria that can incubate for up to a year. Then, there’s the side effects. Hooh! Not nice. Tremors, Dementia, hallucinations. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather starve!”

The blonde woman, whose name completely escaped Jess, blinked a couple of times and peered back at her with wide eyes while the two others looked away and pretended to find their drinks more interesting.

“Jess?” Carol cut in from behind her, having heard the tragic attempt at conversation. She cringed and just had to intervene to save Jess as well as the well-meaning woman and her friends that had just received and earful about the perils of eating other human beings.

“Hmm?” Jess hummed, oblivious to the fact that she’d just garnered herself a reputation as not only a little strange, but also as an expert on diseases.

“What are you doing?” Carol asked under her breath and away from any listening ears.

Jess sighed and pushed her lips into a thin line. “I’m really bad at small talk in social situations”

“I can see that. Let me handle this.” Carol offered, saving Jess the embarrassment of having to run through the gestation periods of any more diseases as gap fillers due to her lack of confidence with small talk.

Like a social butterfly, Carol adopted her best, polite voice and informed the small group that she would be borrowing Jess and apologized for interrupting them. Marching her out into the hallway, Carol asked if Jess was alright and was told that her time mingling with the locals had come to an end. She expressed her thanks for the much-needed rescue, retrieved a front door key from Eric and headed out of the house, turning in for the night and putting the party’s events behind her.

*

When she stopped at the bottom of the front porch steps and tugged off her heels, she heard footsteps on the decking but didn’t bother to turn around and check who they belonged to. By then, she’d had enough, her energy was sapped and she just wanted to crawl into a bed and sleep so she could wake up the next day and be herself again.

The dirt under her bare feet was ice cold and she rapidly tiptoed across to the grass verge that ran along the front of the houses. The footsteps were now following her and she had a pretty good idea of who they belonged to with even having to check.

“Why are you following me, Stinky?” She asked haughtily, taking a quick peek at him over her shoulder. He was strolling along, fingertips in his pockets and matching her pace.

“I ain’t. Just takin’ a walk.” He replied. Noticing the goose pimpled flesh of her forearms, he slid his leather vest off and tapped it on her shoulder. “Here”

She stopped and looked down at the garment in his hand, allowing him to reach around her and drop it onto her shoulders.

“Thanks. You’re quite the gentleman tonight.” She pointed out.

“Pfft. Hardly.” He mumbled.

She clutched onto the front of the vest with her hands and lowered her head, resuming walking and letting the leathery, smoky odor fill her head. The smell of Daryl. The journey was a short and wordless one with neither of them feeling the need to fill the quiet with wasted words. They’d both spend their time at the party doing just that and for both of them, it was a relief to finally just be around the one person that understood.

Stopping at the bottom of the steps at Aaron and Eric’s porch, Jess handed Daryl his vest back and evaluated his mood. For someone that had been trapped out of his comfort zone just like her, he seemed relaxed and reasonably content.

“So, you decided to take a walk at the exact moment I left. It’s a party, Daryl. People will think we’ve gone home together” She expressed

She didn’t know what she was saying or why, but it was, without a doubt bordering on flirtatious and it had been plucked from nowhere, like someone else was saying it and she was watching on in horror.

“Don’t give a shit what those people think.” He leaned on the pillar with his arm above him observing Jess settle on the top step of the porch and rub at the soles of her feet. “Hey” He said gently, causing her to glance up at him. “Thought ya said ya didn’t have no ties to nobody”

“I don’t.” She answered as coolly as possible

Except you.

“Seem pretty close to Abe. Throwin’ yaself into his arms like that”

She wasn’t sure if it was a dig, something that had bothered him so much that he felt the need to address, or simply a mocking observation which the half smile on his face alluded to. Wanting to avoid lowering the mood, she copied his expression and decided to take the less tedious option.

“I fell off my stupid shoes. I didn’t ‘throw myself’ at anyone.” She used her fingers to emphasize the quoting of his words as a message that she’d heard what he meant, loud and clear. “Why do you even care whose arms I end up in?”

Daryl bit down on his lower lip to stop himself from speaking before thinking. Being comfortable in her presence meant he found it easier to talk to her and tell her things than anyone else. But there were some things that would have opened a can of worms.

Because it should have been me.

“No reason” He told her. “You enjoy the party?”

It was an odd question, and one that she thought had an obvious answer, but she suspected he’d asked it purely to detract from the previous subject.

“Let me see. I fell off my shoes, told three random women all about what happens if you eat too many humans and spent more time outside on the back porch freezing my half naked ass off than inside with everyone else. So, no. I hated it. Did you?”

His shoulders juddered slightly as his amusement at her run down of the night became apparent. With every passing moment that she witnessed his shy, half smile, she liked him that little bit more and crushed on him that little bit harder.

“Naw. Not my thing.”

“At least we have that in common.” She remarked.

He was still leaning on the post of the front porch with one arm raised above him, his defined muscles exposed by his lack of sleeves and a small, demon tattoo caught her interest in his inner bicep. He sighed and scanned the street, and Jess cringed when she noticed the blonde woman from the party ushering her two young boys into their house. She counted herself lucky that she was sitting in the darkness of the porch and Daryl standing in front of her obscured her from any passing eyes. She waited for the woman to vanish from view and looked back up at Daryl, catching him skimming his eyes over her bare legs and up to her face.

“Ya took off the mask.” He stated, catching her off guard with the subject. She knew he’d be pleased about her lack of disguise. He’d made it crystal clear that he was not a fan of her mask from the start.

“Yeah, I owed it to Aaron, Eric and Deanna” She disclosed.

Shifting his arm above him, he started to gently jab his forefinger into the wooden structure, an absent-minded motion that signified he was thinking something over, much like when he chewed his bottom lip.

“Can’t believe how different you look” He expressed.

Jess couldn’t believe it either, when she’d seen her reflection when Eric was done with her make-up, she could have sworn it was a different woman looking back at her.

“I know, right, Eric is great with Make-up!” She chirped.

“Naw, I mean in general. Compared to the quarry” He corrected, seeing her pause and nod knowingly to herself.

“That a good thing?” She wanted to know. There were various occasions that she would have given just about anything to be able to see into Daryl’s mind and find out what he was really thinking. How he really saw her. But having to rely on his heavily veiled words was all she had to go on.

“Nothin’ wrong with ya either way.” He told her. “Y’know, if ya hide behind a mask for so long, you forget who ya are underneath it.”

“I know who I am” She tried to convince him. In truth she was getting there, getting back to the old Jess and if all her recent, embarrassing misdemeanors were anything to go by, she was doing extremely well.

“Naw, you’re still figuring it out.” He said, aware of exactly what was happening with her sense of self her “But I know you”

He lowered his arm and crossed the steps, now leaning his side on the railing in front of her. Having climbed a couple of the steps, he was mere inches from her and his close proximity set her heart racing. What was he doing? Why was he so close, leaning over her and sucking his bottom lip into his mouth? The faint smell of leather wafted into her senses on the breeze and she took a deep breath and collected herself.

“You think you know me? You think you know what goes on in here?” She asked, tapping her temple. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

“Oh yeah? What kind of things we talkin’ bout here?” He inquired with what appeared to be great interest.

“Things I don’t give up easily” Jess admitted. There was, in fact, a lot he was still yet to find out. Holding back had come naturally to her after being hurt in the first place, she’d let out trickles of information, but not enough for anyone to take it and really know the real her.

Daryl was in dangerous territory and his jumbled thoughts and clammy palms were telling him as much. He was very close to her and so far, his restrained choice of phrases had kept him safely in the friendship zone. But in the last few days his feelings had grown and morphed into something he didn’t quite understand and that set him on edge, but standing over her while she wore her red dress with her loose curls and blushed pink lips, he was seeing her in a different light altogether. It wasn’t just her appearance, it was the conversations they’d had, the connection they’d forged and the trust they’d built. It was how she laughed with him and teased him and how she yielded and agreed to remove herself from the danger of long supply runs because he told her he cared about her. Then, there was how she was around him, her blushing at a compliment and him catching her checking him out. He didn’t like to assume, but he wouldn’t have been disappointed to know that she still had a crush on him.

“So, you gonna tell me what I gotta do to find out more ‘bout you?” He smirked at her.

Shit. I think… I’m flirting with her.

Jess had no idea what to say. Her mind went completely blank and she dragged a hand through her hair, pulling it back and letting it cascade in waves from the crown of her head. A curl lodged itself in the edge of her lip gloss, but she didn’t feel a thing.

“Um...I…don’t know the answer to that.” She admitted. She was nervous, flustered and surprised but still displayed a bashful and pleased smile on her lips.

Yes, it was all those things that were the reasons why his feelings were different. Those, and the big, blue eyes that were peering up at him expectantly, it gave him the self-assurance to proceed the way his heart was telling him to, but with a great deal of caution. He leaned down to her, using the back of a finger and tenderly removing the strands of hair from her lips and returning to his previous stance.

“Maybe you should think ‘bout it n’ let me know.”

She was frozen. Not just from the cold but from the altogether unexpected change in his behavior. She didn’t hate it. Far from it, she was enjoying every single second, if only she knew what to say. “Um. Okay. I will” She whispered.

Aware that any further flirtatious comments were likely to send her fleeing into the house in confusion, he backed up to the pathway and rubbed his chin.

“You uh…you look really nice tonight” he said.

Alright. That was good. I got this. I should have done this sooner.

It was a simple sentence, just a few words strung together and delivered with such sincerity that it was a massive deal to Jess and she was so busy trying to process it that she couldn’t control what her face was doing. Her mouth dropped open in bewilderment. Daryl would have been the first to admit that he didn’t know the first thing about complimenting women and had never done so in the past. However, his flicker of self-doubt was extinguished when he bore witness to the eventual, genuinely delighted grin on her face and the tuneful giggle that followed.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW, DIXON?! Where the hell did that come from?

“Thank you, Daryl.” She smiled sincerely from a deeply reddened face. “Before you point it out, because I know you want to, I already know that my face is as red as ketchup on fries.”

He laughed at her ability to poke fun at herself and Jess thought it was a genuine and relaxed sound and one she’d never seen him reveal with anyone else but her.

“G’night, Jess.” He rasped as he backed along the path and turned to walk away.

There was something she wanted to say. Something that would prove to him that she could take risks of her own. If he could dish out compliments to her, then she wanted to do the same. She quickly thought it over, deciding she would put it down to a joke if it tanked, and went for it.

“Goodnight, handsome.” She called out in the most confident voice she could manage. To her own ears, it was delivered well enough and in the split second after she’d said it, she found that she didn’t regret it, especially when she saw him look over his shoulder at her and shake his head, glancing back a couple of times with a grin.

 *

Inside Aaron and Eric’s house, Jess flopped down on the couch. Her head was bustling with memories, thoughts and all sorts of ways she could possibly explain Daryl’s change in how he spoke to her. That, and the knowledge that her risk hadn’t blown up into a huge mistake for once. In fact, he took it well and she thought that he couldn’t have looked sexier as he walked away, trying and failing to hide his wide smile.

“That was…flirting.” She said to herself “He flirted with me.”

For the next hour, she tried to muster the motivation to move, to take herself to bed and let sleep clear her mind ready for the next day. But on the couch, she remained, chattering to herself inside her own head and asking questions that would go unanswered.

--- tagging as requested --

@lilred254​ @woundmetender​

MASTERLIST

[oncerpotter2018]

Dark Phoenix: Mutants Are Humans Too

If I become the only person to appreciate this film and saw it for what it was meant to be, then let me be that person. If I am called out for my love for this then let it be so. I have been so loved and deeply emotionally attached to human beings, knowing how it feels to feel alone, to be afraid and to be different, I knew that since watching the first three X-Men movies, I never knew how much these movies will change my life. I never doubted these films and never seemed to try to compare them to others because I already do that with myself. 

If I  were to agree with those who loathe it then I would be lying to myself. I would be dishonest and so here is an account of an analysis of the movie, the ideas and thoughts that raised through my mind. investigating the ways which it was a human film, focusing on the human more than the super in “superhuman”. So if being called out for what is deemed the worst then let me called it the best thing I have ever seen. Still going to defend it until only a few of us are left, still holding on to that hope that had been thought of us for so long ago. 

I am going to be as honest and as truthful in my views because it is the most human thing to do... 

(Warning for spoilers and mild blood/violence) 

Director: 

Simon Kinberg

Cast: 

Sophie Turner, Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, Tye Sheridan, Alexandra Shipp, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Evan Peters

Rating: 5 Stars 

“I’m not afraid of you, Jean. Look at me. Focus on my voice. We’re going to get through this together. I’m not giving up on you, Jean. This is what family does. We take care of each other. You’re my family, Jean”

From its traumatic beginning to its heartbreaking climax and to its bittersweet ending, Dark Phoenix played with human emotions, mixing in real-life situations with the fantasy that is the superheroes that they are. Like in the many films that came before it, it begins with a family. The music is playing, the sun is out, and eight-year-old Jean Grey is in the back seat as her parents drive to their destination. However, for Elaine Grey, she would never reach her destination for she was the mother who dies with her eyes open. Jean now alone, is visited by Charles Xavier and from this moment on, the life of Jean Grey would never be the same again and with this scene, where man and child discuss this over, each of the characters are closely framed together, it offers a bound, a relationship that would later be shattered. Jean’s facial expressions and body language are suited for a young child who is afraid, alone and is isolated from her parents. Without parental guidance, without that love and embrace from her family, she shies away, eyes drawn towards the ground. Charles later gives Jean a home, a place where she can roam free with others like herself. But she declines the offer, saying she breaks things and to that Charles promised her on the year of 1975 that she is not broken, and he’ll help her, guide her and make her believe she can do anything. Anything she sets her mind to.

Soon after the events of Apocalypse, its been ten years and things have changed and not just physically. What I adored and admired from this movie was exploring a side of Charles we haven’t seen before. The side of pride and an excess of having too much. Charles desired to be praised, to be accepted and play a bigger role in society. James McAvoy magnificently captures Charles’s moments of glory, the way he smiles and plays along with this fame and success with such egotism. His ego was later tested when the direct line to the President is cut off, metaphorically cutting himself off from the fame and glory he tried to hold. What I respected from Simon Kinberg, was the way he understood about our attachment to our pride, our successes and our wants in life and by the end of this film, Simon created a sense of what it means to be human, to make mistakes and learn to evolve from them. For Charles, this meant to learn to forgive and admit he was wrong. In the end, he was reminded of his wrong decisions, the way he pushed away what was more important for a life he wanted so bad.

Dark Phoenix showed me not just superheroes but humans too, humans who are different but can still be subdued by their emotions. During what seems to be the film’s most heartbreaking climax, the death of Raven was a scene that made me cry the most. The truth comes out from her father, about his abandonment, his lack of love and care for Jean, that after her mother’s death, his world died. To him, Jean died with it. This was the moment of a girl lost, looking for her home, for her past only to come home to nothing, except for a father who lost hope, a father who was a coward. A father who failed to bring his own child home. I understood then why Jean cried, got angry and what made it convincing was Sophie Tuner’s ability to express herself, to express Jean’s mixed emotions. To turn herself into the Dark Phoenix. Jean soon confronts her other family, her friends and lies are unravelled and the truth comes out as Charles’s lie begins to break and crumble and he could no longer convince her to stay. In many failed attempts to get to Jean, by Charles’s command, Raven was up next. Jean and Raven’s conversation illustrates the ideas of the caring mother trying to understand what is happening to her child, to her family. The two-shot, going back and forth from Jean to Raven generates a sense of disillusionment and sustains this relationship between the two women. As Raven inches closer to Jean, the distortion effect created by this editing technique relates back to Jean’s disillusionment, her mind unable to differ from her reality and an illusion causing Jean to lose control killing Raven in the process.

Jennifer Lawrance and Nicolas Hoult’s performances during the moment when Raven slowly died cried out to me, it spoke to me. It made me cry. The way that they were framed in a close-up, the camera right in their faces was emotional. Hoult, having played Hank McCoy for four films has outdone himself on this one; how Hank rushes forward, his eyes never leaving Raven’s own. The camera lingers on Hank’s face and his reaction was the piece of what proves of Dark Phoenix’s most human qualities. Raven’s death was also the turning point to a chain reaction of frustration, grief and anger amongst Raven’s closest family and friends. Raven was the person that connected them all and having seen Raven grow in previous films, she had become a sister, a mother, a friend and a hero. The relationships she had obtained over the years especially to Charles, Hank and Erik was so deep so that when she died it was reasonable for their emotions of anger to explode, they had the right to feel angry, frustrated and to cry. To let out their emotions, to be just a human being. As well as this, like that of Elaine Grey, Raven was another mother who died with her eyes wide open.

Simon Kinberg called the movie a ‘family drama’ and he wasn’t wrong, From start to end, the movie delivered the promise of an emotional drama between family. It had begun with the loss of a family only to end with a family who is just beginning to heal. Jean lost her mother to the accident and loss her father to his emotional wounds. Jean found a new home with the X-Men but as dramas go, it idealises on the tragedies of life, the cruelness of fate and the reality in which we live in. None of these characters knew what life had for them, they went blindly through their lives not expecting anything. For Raven, she wanted to move on and so the universe heard her, and gave her what she wanted, a way out: in dearth. Raven never expected to die that day, she never thought of that moment, but what was tragic was she never knew what had become of Jean, what may her future become. The family drama heats up in the kitchen as Hank and Charles voice their emotional opinions, an argument only seen by my eyes like a brother vs brother in law unsettlement in its own soap opera. In a dark and cold tone colour, the kitchen that once was a place of life when Charles first met Raven, now feels empty, isolating and missing any forms of life. Hank increases his temper, demanding Charles, almost begging him to admit he was wrong, to see what he had become. In the end, in a tired and restless Hank, the truth come together and getting the last words the camera focuses on Hank’s face, Hoult’s facial expression filled with convincing anger and grief told Charles what he wanted to say:

“This whole time, we’ve been trying to protect these kids from the world, when really, we should’ve been protecting them from you”

This cold hard confession leads the friendship turning south as the last frame is Charles’s reaction where McAvoy produces a stunning pained expression for realizing what his friend really thought. In the same scene what I loved about it and a moment that made me also tear up was Hank’s own self-confession. The tragic loss of his lover, a memory he can’t forget had led him to blame himself for Raven’s untimely demise, and his language used in the dialogue reflects his emotional wounds, a feeling that had been echoed from John Grey’s own self sorrow. However, what sets him apart from Charles or Mr Grey was his courage to admit he was wrong, to face Charles and say he blames himself for Raven’s death, realizing him from this pain, not completely, but just enough to get Charles thinking, to help him realize that if he can do it then Charles may follow, except he didn’t leaving Hank displeased resulting to his own abandonment of the school, of Charles and abandoning what he stood for. A man of hope.

Dark Phoenix also holds up for its other antagonist, Vuk. An alien with her race searching for the power inside Jean and restart their lives here on earth. Jessica Chastain, a new member of this world of X-Men films, steps in nicely to the heels of Vuk. We first see Margret Smith, a bubbly and full of life women at the dinner party. What is striking is her dress. This costume choice made by the costume department is truly symbolic as from her platinum blonde hair and dress symbolises purity and innocence. This is later changed to a black dress covered with a black coat, symbolising evil and power which contrasts with her hair, remaining her trust and good intentions towards Jean. Speaking of costume changes, Jean too has a drastic costume change, going from grey tones to deep reds and dark purples; this too signifying change and in both physical and metaphoric sense Jean had risen from the ashes to become the Dark Phoenix. The relationship between Vuk and Jean is appealing and sends out an inside look at the means of manipulation. In her vulnerable state with no one to trust Vuk sweeps in to rescue Jean. Having seen Jean’s trust in the men in her life lose their purpose and with Raven dead, it seems that Vux is the one person who Jean can trust. Both being women and a person of understanding, trust and a person who listens, Jean is blinded from the signs of manipulation. The bar scene was intimidating and fills the void in Jean’s heart, the now empty space that is being filled by the words of this stranger. Chastain confidently speaks in a voice of reassurance as the words contrast between “scared little girl” to “the most powerful creature on the planet” making Jean believe she can help her, to understand her, unlike her X-Men. The scene ends with a malicious grin, a sign of deviance in the eyes of the stranger that Jean barely knows.

Living in Genosha, serving as a leader in protecting mutants is Erik Lehnsherr. He cares for those he can help and defines their purpose by living in harmony and peace. His scenes with Jean are an emotional moment and touching and serious moment between Michael Fassbender and Sophie Tuner only increases the tension higher as both actors come face to face trying to understand each other. Fassbender’s tone of voice is strong and determined, asking questions and demanding them on point while Tuner’s body language and emotional facial expressions echo the fragile and broken state that Jean is placed upon; Tuner continues to present a vulnerable Jean, a Jean that on the brink of disaster as Erik pesters her with questions, pressuring her in a moment of anger and unrest. With such intensity and visible interaction between the two mutants, the turning point was made clear as the distressed Jean Grey releases the Dark Phoenix. Genosha is now under threat by Phoenix and after seeing the destruction caused by Jean, Erik begins to express anger and loss of trust. He banishes Jean and it’s the expression that Sophie gave that projected on the screen so well; her confounded and pain faced quickly turned to a face of anger and rage. This scene alone quickly adds to the stress and frustration of Jean’s mental state. Abandoned by her father, by Charles, by Hank, by Scott and now Erik. Its no wonder why Jean chose Vuk, to trust the only who cares. Who doesn’t question but to only understand.

Alexandra Shipp, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Tye Sheridan and Evan Peters co-star next to their fellow X-Men showing off their characters abilities. Shipp and McPhee’s characters Storm and Nightcrawler engages with their powers and offer a fantastic display of true strength and human assets. Storm is unique here and produces more than just a storm. Demonstrating the role of a moral compass to Scott and a friend when he is in need and a companion for her friends and family. For McPhee, what is exciting to me was his innocence and maturity, the way he can be both funny and still grew as an adult. What made me cry during his part was something I least expected, a moment of reality hitting this young mutant and the moment when witnessing the death of a stranger whose kid will be left fatherless and a wife who is left widowed, he could not let his death be a left forgotten. This turns him to aggressively kill the aliens, unleashing a warpath between anyone who got in his way which presents a courageous act of heroism especially to avenge the man he barely knew. McPhee understands his character and acts with determination, the way he scrunches up his face with anger and fights back showing character development; going from an innocent, bewildered young mutant still discovering his true potential, to be able to defend himself and others in a selfish act of  bravery as he returns the favour to the man who couldn’t save. For Scott Summers, death was already something he was used to; after his brother’s death, the loss of Raven and Jean was beyond what he can handle. His attitude had changed all those years ago now becoming part of something much bigger. A part of a team, a family. Tye Sheridan gets romantically involved with Sophie Tuner as Jean and Scott’s relationship develops love the ten years, seeing them caught up their love affairs.

Evan Peters, the man who plays the quick and quirky speedster, QuickSliver, had his role cut short. His role lacked in appearance and not enough of him shown however whether it is due to the pressure of the Fox-Disney deal and extensive reshoots deeming the editing team to cut and leave things out from what had been originally in the trailers to meet their deadline, yet for me, I believe the real answer lies in the moments of his rescue attempt in trying to save Jean. His injuries leaving him bloodied and bruised, deeming him unsuitable to service the X-Men in their further mission; for me, this was the ideal situation of any kind of reality from which people get injured, get hurt especially after such tragic events. Even Peters still manages to pull off Maximoff’s funny quirks, as for instance his line:

“I basically did everything. I mean, Jean did a little, like, towards the end. But it was mostly all me”

Peter’s actually improvised this and luckily it made it to the final cut. Furthermore, while people bicker about his nonappearance and lack of the big reveal of father and son but despite this all, I still cried. The uncertainty of his injury leaves questions in our minds on whether he is okay or whether it had left him permanently injured for good. To this effect, I was beginning to recognise a matter of human suffering, situations where life is cruel and unbearable, and by the end of the film, his fate is revealed and say how much he had rested over time. To allow time to heal his wounds. And for me, I never noticed his disappearance, I was probably still crying over past events, where the death of Raven and Jean’s distress state consumed my mind leaving me crying. My eyes sore by the end of the movie.

As the story continues, the fight for Jean is amongst them as they encounter each other face to face in 5th Avenue for their final battle. Both sides offer explanations, trying to counter each other as they reach for Jean. Soon the epic battle for survival and for Jean insures as friends turned to enemies and the world as the know it had fallen behind them. Every shot was intense, the lives of civilians in danger of rampaging mutants but what was hard not to notice was the battle going on with Hank and Scott, two mutants who just several years ago, fought together to save the world from Apocalypse. Now they are in ahead to head battle to either save Jean or kill her. The fight between McCoy and Summers is a moment of struggle between friends, of two men who had lost to much and now is on the brink of trying to do what is right. Hoult and Sheridan’s performances are spectacular showcasing the strained friendship that these two had once held. Hoult provides his Beast rage as his rough movements indicate power and speed to get to Jean. While this was going on, the night time scenery and low lighting create a murky mood, reflecting the mindset of the character and how they are feeling. Magneto’s costume, like Vuk, is black and never too complicated. This simple and slick design helps to camouflage Erik into the darkness, allowing him to easily get to Jean. What was also most engaging with this scene was the moments of the strength of Magento’s powers as he lifts the subway cart from the ground and brings it up the surface. The crew behind the visual effects had brought a high standing finish to Magento’s ultimate power. The cart emerging to the top of the street, keeping our eyes on the destruction down beyond as the crane shot view captures our attention slowly as the cart explodes from the ground. From this, a display of true strength shows Magento pulling the train through the entrance and having heard in interviews, that the train and wall were built and were real, the most worrying of all was that having one shot at this moment it appeared and it clearly showed in the scene how the train came six inches close to hitting actor Michael Fassbender. With such confidence and a heart of steel, he had never even flinched or blink as those bricks fell down, and now that is through perfect as Erik would say.

Jean and Erik's reencounter comes to an eye to eye contact between family once again. Both of them unleashes their gifts, with Magento making the first move. In a shocking turn when Erik couldn’t kill Jean, the Dark Phoenix within her sets free all hell on him. with a move of her hand, the most spine-chilling scene occurred as Phoenix crashes Erik’s helmet and it doesn’t help either with Fassbender’s straining eyes in a close-up, the pained and gritting way he clenches his teeth adds to the growing pain he is feeling. In suspended in motion, the helmet breaks and with one last gleam of rest Phoenix quickly finishes the job and throws Erik out of the window in a what would have been a back-breaking fall. In a rush to get to Jean, in another moment of family and hope, Charles reaches Jean. In a not so expected moment, Phoenix increases her power, lifting Charles towards her. This scene captives the agony of Charles where McAvoy does with such detail as he needs to be in pain. Beyond this scene, Charles tries to help Jean remember, to bring Jean back to her senses, to just remember who she truly is. Like all the memories, the sense of a dream-like blur and distortion effect offers a unique idea of what was true, what was Charles trying to protect her from. This for me enchants the human side of a family ready to heal, ready to accept forgiveness. Jean begins to understand as Charles becomes the better man in front of her father. It now all comes together as the scene between Charles and John becomes clear:

“Will you take her?” - Mr Grey 

“Yes, I can help her in ways that you can’t”- Charles Xavier 

“She can’t be helped. She’s a lost cause”- Mr Grey 

“No, she’s not. As long as there’s someone who cares for her who believes, then there’s still hope”- Charles Xavier 

The message of hope still rings throughout the X-Men films and it seems as though Dark Phoenix wasn’t going to let it side as well. It still continues to bring the message of hope to its audience especially in this case of giving hope to children, to children who need hope for life, a home and a family; just someone who cares, who believes in them. Someone who loves them for who they are. Switching to back to Jean, Vuk took an opportunity to take what was hers, she approaches Jean, carefully touching her and spoke about her future. Down with her vulnerable state, Jean shakes her head, tears beginning to fall from her strained eyes.

“I never asked for this. Any of it.” - Jean Grey 

“I travelled the stars for a gift that you don’t want?”- Vuk 

“Then take it. Please. Free me”- Jean Grey 

Being fueled by fear and confusion of what she had become, she realizes the truth, how she never wanted this for anyone, not even for herself. She begs Vuk for release, for her freedom. With a nod, Vuk couldn’t agree more. The next few scenes empower Scott and begin to have the others dragged rather inhumanly by guards. The train scene keeps them locked together, trapped in the same place having no place to run or hide. Having this opportunity, being in this confined space gives Charles an opportunity finally admit he was wrong. He was ready to face Hank and Erik, to prove that Jean was not the villain, but he was, how he had failed Jean and everyone else all because of his ego, for wanting something he only wanted. The back and forth moment towards Hank and Erik’s faces shows at first the lack of interest, not willing to forgive just yet, but what was the turning point was what Scott had said, about Raven and what she would have wanted. For Hank, it had registered a spark of truth, for he never thought of what Raven would have wanted, to have wanted from him. it was time to step up, to save Jean. Moving from this, the battle begins to increase, both sides raging war against the other and it wasn’t long until Vuk joined the fight taking down their first defence. Soon she wrecks a trail of bodies as each one of Jean’s family drops down hurt and broken.

As Charles tries to wake Jean up, to learn to forgive her, Charles, in a heaven-like place, confronts eight-year-old Jean played by the wonderful Summer Fontana. While they talked, the scene that unfolds is arranged in a battle of protecting Jean, and the approaches of emotional connections made towards these characters as Jean and Charles talks. Fontana plays an innocent young girl, a girl who had finally found peace and has already forgive Charles. The light flares that bounces off and on the screen symbolizes the reflection of this being all inside Charles’s mind, a place of peace and serenity can flourish. For once in Charles’s mind, he speaks with reassurance and feels the guilt he had been feeling for so long, and they're staring right in front of him is the same eight-year-old girl he had talked to and promised to keep safe all those years ago. Charles understands what he had to do, he had to protect Jean, to keep her away from the trauma, the pain and give her what she deserves, what every child deserves…

“A family” Jean replies, nodding both with Charles. This conversation between chid and a father figure, both characters are freeing themselves from the pain they had to suffer as Jean recognises what she must do and understand that the lie that Charles told was done from the act of love, how he had loved her more than her own father that he was willing to lie. To save her from having to grow up being afraid of the world. with having the last say, Jean now knows what she must do. That is to:

“Protect My Family”

Just this simply three words had made such an impact, it had sealed the movie with its theme of family and what the family stands for. A family protects and cares for their loved ones, to love each other through hard times and that is what Jean will do. And shortly after this, Jean had woken, her mind ready to fight and what I had noticed was the moment when Charles held Jean’s hand, the sign of prayer and hope which I must confess made me tear up. As her promise to protect her family, they are soon encased in a bubble as the train carts disperse and fall back with devastating results. Soon, the final battle begins as Jean tries to protect her family. A family she couldn’t save before. As the battle insures, Jean, now being able to take control over her own fate sets loose on the remaining aliens, banishing them from the face of the earth. With warm and hot tones of red, orange and yellow adding to the flames around them, the exterior designs help to establish power and control as Jean as Phoenix fights to protect and serve. While thinking Vuk is gone for good, we would think wrong as Vuk returns but this time to truly take it by force. Now free from the chains that held her down for so long, she uses this force for her own advantage. In a spectacular display of face to face encounter with Vuk and Jean, the power to obtain the force becomes too much for Vuk. In her last attempts to achieve what she wanted, she uses Jean’s emotions to bring her down.

“Your emotions make you weak”

And with one last look at her family, the people that got angry because they care so much, she gives them one last nod and ends Vuk, sacrificing herself in the process. And with last one look, there was nothing that her family could do but watch as Jean takes the battle in her own hands, protecting them as she promised. In space, both women circle around, the camera spinning with them as Jean closes in on Vuk finishing with:

“You’re wrong, my emotions make me strong”

With this approval of both her mind and heart, Vuk finally is finally vanquished, leaving Jean to disappear among the stars, leaving on being the trace of a phoenix burning in the sky. From down below, its Erik’s sadden expression that is caught first, the way his face drops down to show a feeling of sorrow and mournful, thinking probably what he and said before to Jean. Soon Scott thinks of Jean, that she is now gone, like Raven. And yet it was Charles who spoke the truth, how she is now free, that she is no longer his little girl anymore and must set her free, like the phoenix she was meant to be. To make her own decisions, to control her own fate. In the end, it fades to black and the world seems at peace once again. The next scene leads to the epilogue, a bittersweet ending to what had been a long and severe battle over Jean whose sacrifice had led to their protection and survival. Her sacrifice wasn’t as much of heroic sacrifice as those like Tony or Natasha from Endgame, but it was that nod of her head as she looked at Charles one last time that showed how much she was loved, how she can trust them to be okay without her. Her sacrifice was never a heroic one a way to protect those she loves, to do it for them for she couldn’t those she loved the first time. what seems to be a couple of years later, in a scene of innocence and peace, the flowers by the gate that once was lined with red lilies are now white, a symbol of hope, innocence and purity as Scott reassembles the new sign for the school now under a new name: Jean Grey School for Gifted Youngsters. This change in the name is a good decision, a decision probably made by Charles as in the end its not only the family that has changed but the home does too and the school was the home that Charles gave to Raven and to Jean, a place both grew up and a place where they last stayed. To enable the school to continue without the past haunting him, the scene of Hank walking to his office says a lot of the changes that had been placed.

It is now another school year, a new term as the tracking shot moves around the school showing Strom teaching science, Kurt and Peter leading more mature leads and now Hank, the new Professor and Dean of the school now named after a friend he wouldn’t save. What was touching about this scene in the epilogue as well as the photo of Raven at this desk, the way Hank had it framed and this wasn’t only a touching moment but a prop that is a reminder that Hank had moved on, how everyone has and how they have learnt to find acceptance in this world of cruelty. Of course, they still feel grief and pain on the inside but as they say, time will heal all wounds and that’s what Simon had reflected here. But what was so intriguing and so beautiful in any shape of form was the concluding moment between Charles and Erik. An ending to where it had all begun. Now in Paris, Charles and Erik meet up in a nearby café with Erik wanting to place chess. Chess has been a sign of their everlasting war between their beliefs is now just a casual game between two long friends. For me, this wasn’t just a heart-warming and symbolic end to the relationship between friends but also, if I say so myself, a beautiful and romantic grand gesture of love and passion as Erik reminds Charles of how he saved him from the waters back in the year of ’62, how he had given him a home and now he wants to do the same for Charles. And if that wasn’t enough, Kinberg happily implies the words: 

“I’ll go easy on you”

And Charles’s replies:

“No, you won’t”

With them ending the scene in laughter and quirky smiles. If this wasn’t Cherik enough them I don’t know what will. But Dark Phoenix had just become the moment when Cherik became canon. So, if Cuba was their Beach Divorce, then Paris would be their Chess Proposal. But as they start their game, the camera slowly tilts up, getting a glimpse of the Paris street and a hint of the Eiffel Tower and there off in the distance is a trail of a phoenix, a reminder that this isn’t the end of Jean, this is only the beginning.

Overall, Dark Phoenix was more drama and human then about superheroes. It was more than trying to save the world and more like trying to save a person from it. To save a family member from the pain and hurt of a childhood trauma. Dark Phoenix details what happens when a lie to protect becomes a lie that kills. How the ego kills relationships and how the death of a loved one allows grief and pain to spiral someone out of control, seeking revenge at the person who killed their close relation. Dark Phoenix was the movie that had made me feel like this journey had ended but will not be forgotten. To me, with its music score done by the very talented composer Hans Zimmer, and the brilliant minds of both Simon Kinberg and Hutch Paker, every detail and every piece of dialogue matter and had created a while and an emotional roller coaster filled with pain and heartbreak. It didn’t just tell a story about superheroes but a story about a family and about how a little girl had to grow up and face the truth of a lied that protected her all these years. What Simon had done was to explore human emotions and show the ideas of psychological and philosophical ideas of our mind and how we treat others as human beings.

By the end of the film, there is acceptance and the power of hope remains at the heart of the school and to the people around them, as well as to what the X-Men represent. And soon enough the film itself had taught valuable life lessons to take back home, to shape our minds about family and about ourselves. So in the end, I can say that I’m proud of this movie and deserves my full attention and receives five stars as a reward for its display of human beings, about family and about never losing hope especially to a child in need.

[protectorsofthewood]

Abby and Wendy - Episode 37

Episode 37

Professor Richardson looked at Abby in surprise, and nodded. “So you’ve noticed that too! Yes, climate change denial is based on loyalty to a fossil fuel culture, and is related to some very explosive issues: ethnicity, race, heritage, some people’s sense of personal identity.” “Yeah,” returned Freddy Baez with a weary sigh. “You mean white nationalism, the white power movement, a deeply rooted demon.” Amy Zhi spoke for the first time. “It’s true. This is a dangerous moment. A lot of the work we’ve done over many years... it’s all up in the air now. Governor Palmer has approved my father’s ideas because they save money. The Parks Department more than pays for itself. But now the governor’s big donors don’t like what they see. We’ve been hiding in plain sight, but that era is over. We have to defend ourselves. My father could be fired. The biogas operation could be closed down, especially the part in Half Moon. The entire population of Rivergate could be driven out of their homes. We know what that means. The governor got a lot of pushback after the Sonny Walker interview, but I’m sure they haven’t given up. So I agree with Abby. We have to defend ourselves.” Amy was dressed like Sara in a STAFF tee shirt and jeans. It’s like they’re they’re in uniform, thought Abby, soldiers ready for their orders. Ricardo leaned forward, closer into the circle. “I’d like to get back to Freddy’s idea: We need a story. Perhaps I can help. Many of you know I have a chance to present our ideas at the coming United Nations conference. The preliminary gathering will be in River City in just a month. The conference itself, with representatives from over a hundred nations, will meet in River City in two months. I must present my paper and recommendations on Tuesday the 25th of September. I intend to be ready with an analysis of what we’ve accomplished, including the social, political, and economic assets and obstacles, as well as the technical problems. I need to visit locations where biogas is produced and have access to people and resources. Who works on your project? Who adapts cars and furnaces and stoves for biogas? How much does it cost? Is the supply reliable? What becomes of the compost? I’m in a rush just like the rest of you. And make no mistake; this will be a story, and we’ll all have to decide how to present it.” Freddy’s brown eyes were full of fire. Abby had never seen his drive, his intensity before. “So, Abby,” he said. “Can we visit these biogas sites? Can we interview people, and run a series on the economics and legalities of the operation? Can we estimate the practical implications for our audience? It can’t be too abstract. We need on-the-ground details, personal stories.” “To all of that, the answer is yes. Lluvia, Phoebe, and I are here to work with you, and help present Half Moon Park, Rivergate, the West Isle, and Fisher’s island as models of the way things can be done. You can talk to farmers in Middletown already producing their own biogas. And yes, you can talk to people who deliver fuel, adapt engines, and have to get paid for what they do.” “Amy,” Freddy asked, “how does that sound for you?” “It has to be done. But... you understand, my father will not participate. No interviews, no emails, no statements for the press. Don’t expect his office to reply. His position is that this effort is economic, not environmental. His office will say only one thing: Biogas

196

saves the taxpayer money. The Parks and Sanitation Departments pay for themselves. That’s our strong suit, and it’s all you can expect from him.” “I do believe,” returned Freddy, “that Amy has just given us a key element of the story. The people who make this possible are not rich for the most part. This project has blossomed without major corporations and vast incomes for executives. We’re talking about a local, grassroots industry that can be replicated. I think that storyline suits both Ricardo and myself.”

Ricardo refilled Freddy’s wine glass. They clinked glasses, and raised them to the whole group, who returned the toast with coffee cups. In the silence that followed Lluvia spoke for the first time. Her voice was very quiet, and the group listened closely. “I volunteer to be a guide for any group wanting to see any part of our biogas, composting, and agricultural methods. I won’t volunteer for interviews, but I’ll find people who will volunteer. We can go to Rivergate, the West Isle, and Fisher’s Island. We can visit homes and collection sites, and look at boats, stoves, cars, trucks, and furnaces that run on biogas. But someone else will have to give permission and guide reporters visiting Half Moon Park.”

“Bennie Nimzowitsch is our Park Manager,” Amy told them. “Speak to him first, and he’ll ask for permission up the bureaucratic ladder. Ultimately the governor will have to give permission or not. There are pluses and minuses for him either way. We’ll just have to wait and see. But meanwhile, the Rivergate part of the story will be a wonderful place to start.”

Ricardo looked around the circle. “We’ve come a long way in less than an hour. I haven’t mentioned the Evansville part of the picture because we’ve got that covered. Mayor Ellis has been increasing purchases of biogas from the park system for seven years or so. Henry is familiar with the technology and the politics.” Ricardo nodded to the young assistant professor.

Henry thanked Ricardo and gave out his phone number and email address. “I’m eager to know all of you,” he said. “I’m doing my graduate thesis on this subject, and hope to visit your sites and include you in my research. This is a wonderful opportunity, and I’m very grateful.” He looked around the room with hesitant, vulnerable blue eyes, obviously pleading for acceptance.

Ricardo gave people a moment to reassure Henry, and then said, “I’m sure you’re all hungry. Let’s trade email addresses and move this train forward.” Abby frowned. “There’s a problem. We’ve been warned not to carry cell phones. We’ve been warned of efforts to hack our phones and computers. So to reach Lluvia or anyone in Rivergate, call Sonny Walker’s secretary, named Chris. Sara, maybe you can help move this along.”

“I’m on it. This is my department. Don’t worry about a thing. But what about Sulay and Nico? Where do they fit in?” Abby smiled. “Phoebe and I are supervising them. We need them in Middletown. But tomorrow morning they’ll be here with the soccer teams for the games in your stadium.” “Got it. I’ll find them. Keep the news coming.”

“I’ll know where they are,” Phoebe told her. “I’ll help you.” No one spoke. People looked at each other, wondering if Phoebe’s words had concluded the meeting. But Ricardo leaned forward again. “I apologize, but I need to ask two more questions, and please, answer them any way you wish, or don’t answer them at all. First,

197

I’m under pressure from my colleagues in other fields – history, anthropology, archeology. They want to know who could help them find sites to study and people to interview in Rivergate and the forest preserve. I tried to be polite and said I’d look into it, but I certainly have promised nothing. But now I ask: Can any of our professors interested in the history of the Half Moon Valley, or the archeology of the Valley, speak to any of you about any information you may have?”

“No,” replied Abby. “We are in no position to guide any such inquiry, and will prevent it if possible.” “I thought so. Rest assured, I will offer nothing. And I’ll warn you if anything of the kind is moving forward.”

Abby gave him a smile. “Thank you. And be aware that the forest preserve is run by the state, and I believe will fall under the authority of Amy’s father. We’ve been protected so far.” Amy nodded.

“Finally,” Ricardo went on, “I’m curious if there is an important reason why all of you...” he was looking at Abby, Phoebe, and Lluvia, “have suddenly made this generous offer to partner with us.” The three glanced at each other. “I can think of one reason,” Phoebe said. “We’ve been through a lot of stress and trouble over the last two months. It’s been a shocking experience. We’ve had to learn to cope very fast.”

Ah! thought Abby. Go for it! Tell them. “We’ve tried to do things that are really quite ordinary, like build a community around the stores in our town, offer activities that people might like, especially for teenagers. These are things I grew up doing, things I had considered normal, like having festivals, music concerts, a soccer league, listening to our local minister and supporting the mission of the church. But we’ve had to realize that we’re facing very powerful, wealthy, and determined enemies. Problems have opened up that have been hidden for decades. We’ve had to fight for basic community goals. Freddy has seen some of this. What Sara called the mysteries in Middletown have arisen around what I used to consider ordinary small- town events. “Now... you could say that Reverend Tuck’s sermon, the one where he called climate change a sin... well, I do see that many people will regard that as threatening. But doing nothing about it is even more threatening. We’ve realized we have to fight a larger political battle. What I’m interested in is that battle. Middletown is a microcosm of the wide world. So I ask: What happens tomorrow morning? How can we contribute? How do we follow up? Can we get involved in events surrounding the United Nations conference? We’re opening up because circumstances are forcing us to get together and stand for something, or our world will become an unrecognizable nightmare.” Sara clapped. “Please, all three of you! Tomorrow after the gathering at Hamilton Hall, our group will meet, discuss the day’s events, and plan for the future. You’re all invited. And please, help us at tomorrow’s event. It’s an effort to create dialogue and understanding between the trustees, students, and faculty. We want the trustees to share power with the college community, and not act like the students are children and the faculty are absent-minded professors, lost in abstract research. We’re in this together. And I’ll have to speak on your behalf, and present ideas from this meeting. But I don’t

198

have the authority and respect to respond to the trustees’ presentation. Ricardo, that job can only be done by you. I wish we could help, but you know you’ll be on the spot.” “Don’t apologize, Sara. I’ve been eager for this job for years. If only I can be on the spot a dozen more times in the next few months! What good is Evansville College, what good is being a professor, what good is having a new department called Energy in the Age of Climate Change? It’s time to plan, organize, speak up. It’s time to act.” He slammed the flat of his hand onto the table.

They all stared in surprise. “Okay Ricardo!” cried Sara with a big smile. “We’re with you.” Freddy rubbed his hands together. He had a gleam in his eye. “This is why I entered the news business! Are we all on board?” “Yes! Of course! Absoluuuutly!” Their voices responded at once. “Any more questions?” No one spoke. “Thank you all!” Ricardo stood up. “Let’s eat!”

Sara and Amy departed immediately after the meeting, saying they would grab a sandwich in the student center and eat with the organizers of tomorrow’s gathering. “Sorry to insist on that word, ‘gathering’,” Sara told them. “But a street demonstration and protest would be a disaster for us. We’re doing all we can to debate policy, backed up by a well-behaved crowd. We need the right kind of media attention.”

Amy pulled on her sleeve. “Come on! They’ll be finished before we get there!” And they were gone. Lluvia, Phoebe, Abby, and Henry Tims took a table together in the luxury of the faculty dining room. Henry presented himself as their guide for the evening, and offered to escort them to the gallery. An hour later, Lluvia, Phoebe, Abby, and Henry Tims were walking past the college dormitories looking for a building known as the A.D. – short for Art Department. There they expected to meet Alex Johnson, who would give them a room for the night. “We’re just in time,” Henry told them. “The gallery closes at 9.” He led them through the glass door of a modern, very wide, two story building with enormous windows.

A few students were talking in the lobby. “It’s got nothing to do with modern art,” argued one voice. “It’s some kind of weird throw-back. I don’t know why they’re giving it any attention.” “It’s gets attention because it’s relevant,” retorted another voice. “He raises conflicts. Gender, climate change, poverty, sex, religion...”

“You see all that? I don’t... and he can’t even draw. People just buy it because it’s cheap.” Henry led them into a clean white room with a polished hardwood floor, immaculate white walls, and a ten-foot ceiling with track lighting. Abby counted fourteen prints on thick white paper held on the walls at eye level with pushpins. They were all deep red or brown. A few were fairly small, but the majority were pictures about two by three feet printed on enormous sheets of paper. At the far end hung a tapestry about two and a half by three feet, showing an abstract female figure on a wavy background that reminded Abby of small prehistoric rock sculptures she had seen in some book in high school. Other abstract symbols appeared across the upper six inches.

199

On another wall she was not surprised to see the red print of Noah’s Ark that had been displayed on the Students Against Fossil Fuels banner. A dragon or snake ran across the top of the design, turned downward at the corner, and became a head vomiting the flood covering the bottom of the picture. The identical dragon appeared in the next, even larger print. But there it was spitting fire onto what looked like the skyline of River City. Fires were burning in many places. Figures were fleeing the nightmare.

“Well, what d’you think?” asked Lluvia. “They look like visions,” murmured Abby, still staring. “Are these really by the Alex we used to know?” “Aren’t we staying at his house tonight?” whispered Phoebe. “Is he here?” Lluvia looked around. “Don’t see him. But he definitely invited us.” “Look at this little design where the signature usually goes,” whispered Abby with a thrill in her voice. “I’ve seen that before... Have you?” “I’ve seen it in prints and weaving by Alex... but, I can’t think of anywhere else.” “Well... I have. I want one of these prints.” Taking his role as their host seriously, Henry had not deserted them. He stood nearby talking to a woman behind a long table covered with prints. They joined him there and studied the artwork and the prices. The prints were very cheap as art prices go, at ten to forty dollars each. “Just five more minutes,” announced the woman in charge. “If you want a print, now is the time.” She was making sales to a small line of visitors. Abby actually had money in her pocket and wanted a very small brown print with four shapes side by side. The first might have been a tall and jagged piece of rock; the second was a naked man with this hands and head in a position of prayer; the third was a tree with a bird on an upper branch overlooking the man; and the fourth was made of three thick wavy lines that reminded her of water. There was something so pleading and vulnerable about the man that Abby’s heart went out to him. The print seemed to depict a beautiful but scary world. “Would you like to buy it?” asked the woman. “Not now,” Abby said. “I don’t want to fold it.” “I’ll put it in a little tube for you. Just ten dollars.” “Abby,” called Phoebe, standing near the door. “Alex has gone home. Henry will take us.” She quickly pulled out ten dollars and tucked the tube into her backpack. “So you know the artist?” asked the woman. Abby was about to run out the door to catch up with her friends, but could not resist the question. “I haven’t seen him in many years. How’s he doing? I’m amazed I can afford something here.” “He sells a lot though. I’m Olivia.” “I’m Abby. Sorry, got to run, my friends are leaving.” She had turned her back when Olivia shouted after her, “You’re the Abby? From Middletown?” “Just here for tomorrow’s event! Got to run.” And she was out the door. Henry, Phoebe, and Lluvia were waiting in the lobby. “You bought one of those? Let’s see it!” “Just ten dollars. I couldn’t resist it.” She pulled the 8x6 inch print out of the tube and displayed it.

200

“Yeah, I’ve seen those around,” Henry told them. “A few are quite popular. Kind of different than what you usually see.” “So what’s this guy like?” Phoebe asked. Lluvia was hesitant, but she replied: “He’s nice, but kind of obsessed with his artwork. But it looks like he’s selling some now, and that will ease him up a bit. When Diego and I took him and his sister back to Rivergate last year he hardly opened his mouth. He just stared around and drew on a sketchpad. He was kind of a loner then, but has friends now. He’s part of this group of activists. Hey, I know where we are, Henry. I’ve got it from here.”

“Great to meet all of you,” Henry said. “You know... before you go, I just want to tell you how glad I am that Ricardo is including me in this project. I’ll be teaming up with Sara to visit Middletown next week. And I’ll see you all tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed and hope for a good event.” He held up a V sign and headed back toward the college.

201

[falkenscreen]

THE LION KING

An all too frequent answer to ‘why’ in the film industry is someone rubbing their thumb and forefinger together. As much as it should be, it’s not funny.

The Lion King remake, having at the time of writing just overtaken Disney’s Frozen as the most successful animated film of all time, like its precursor, is there to make money. But it should do and be something else.

The original, notably not a priority project for Disney compared to the then fledgling Pocahontas, was a risk for financial and artistic purposes. The remake, leveraging off nothing but the appeal of the original, is not.

Statedly in the words of the Director opting to stick as close as possible to the original which any watcher on their first, second or tenth viewing (uncountable in this author’s case) can more easily and cost-effectively seek out, The Lion King (2019) gives fans and newcomers very little reason for its existence beyond wanting to encourage this Disney renaissance renaissance; our latest release being the third remake so far this year.

And no, it is not a live action remake by any objective measure whatever the studio wants us to think; it is in every respect an animated remake of the 1994 original. The first film this author saw in cinemas, it bears significance for many and myself no less not just for proffering a generation a definitively primeval, stunning fable which continues to wreak havoc with our emotions, but for depicting the land of my childhood and the sounds of my formative and adult years so vividly.

African nations and music being largely absent from mainstream cinema, it’s still remarkable and heart-warming that the emblematic movie experience of many childhoods remains an account and example of that most stunning and ill-deservedly bereft from cinema.

Turning to this newest take, in being so avowedly faithful with such a rote regurgitation all this really has to offer anyone (who should use this opportunity to visit the original) is what it does new, or different. First and foremost there’s the animation.

Gorgeous, vivid and technically brilliant but still deep in this uncanny valley encompassing the Pride Lands, for the nature scenes absent dialogue one could just as well google Animal Planet or National Geographic. Trust me, it’s more exciting, as are the Homeward Bounds and Meerkat Manors which heaven forbid just used real animals.  

As for the speaking parts, it beggars belief that Jon Favreau no less, who directed the Jungle Book remake featuring the markedly-realistic, still emphatically rendered Bagheera, among others, in his newest outing with cats would largely opt for realism at the expense of the characters emoting.

For with some exceptions there is very little emotion in these faces and it’s only more disconcerting when we get to “Hakuna Matata,” “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” and more; numbers intended for exuberantly-staged, colourful showings with cubs now but running through a stream. ‘Can You Feel The Love Tonight,’ meant to convey a burgeoning romance and inexplicably taking place during the day, is perhaps this film’s most ill-judged number save of course ‘Be Prepared.’ A song-speech rendition with Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) hopping between small outcrops without any of the vibrant menace or environment of Jeremy Irons’ magnificent version, it is a very low point amidst many.

Significantly, not only does The Lion King borrow from it’s namesake but from another animated success which likewise took inspiration from the 1994 smash. Dreamworks’ The Prince of Egypt was deliberately timed and produced to tap into The Lion King’s broad appeal. The Savannah-set triumph more a product of Exodus than Hamlet as widely touted, The Prince of Egypt in turn took stylistic inspiration from Mufasa’s showing in the clouds for Moses’ burning bush encounter, which has again now been emulated in The Lion King (2019) through Mufasa’s here faceless appearance to Simba in the heavens; emulated by but a booming voice. Something something circle of life.

It is remarkable that The Lion King was released in the same week as the much-mocked Cats trailer which, depicting human faces superimposed on cats’ bodies, is at the opposite end of a very strange spectrum. With filmmakers and talented voice actors for decades past finding compelling ways to depict animated characters, for the record there is a very large middle ground from which The Lion King creators have steered clear.

Billy Eichner (Timon) and Seth Rogen (Pumba) make the best use of this form, coyly alluding to another Disney classic in one of the best gags, though they both could have been so much better had the puppet-masters actually deigned their faces to, well, move.  

What is however new and thrilling are some of the action sequences, with the lions’ fighting captured more vividly and capably than possible in 1994. The final confrontation and the stampede are the best scenes herein and they are stunning to watch, as is Mufasa’s (James Earl Jones) fall.

Jones, the only returning cast member, as with his reprisal in Rogue One sounds distinctly different and, decades having elapsed between these depictions of his two most iconic characters, here does not measure a tone to match the age and life stage emulated by Mufasa’s animators. Jon Oliver is perfectly adequate as Zazu though never nearly so entertaining as the much more cartoonish Rowan Atkinson. Keegan-Michael Key (Kamari), Eric Andre (Azizi) and Florence Kasumba (Shenzi) deliver much of the new material with the hyenas’ depictions; it lands some of the time.

Ejiofor is a much more menacing Scar than his precursor; the absence of Irons and the earlier animation’s explicitly queer overtones, the original Scar being viewed by many as one of cinema’s most famous queer figures, is a major detraction from this newest version; robbing it of the dimensions, nuance and implicit commentary so valuable to the earlier outing.

Donald Glover (Simba) and Beyonce (Nala) are marked improvements over the characters’ original casting, though their vocal stylings are noticeably ill-matched for the aforementioned duet. Glover’s much more traditional rendition is so disparate from Beyonce’s approach that it’s beyond distracting. This could have been avoided, but that would have depended on one of the crew telling Beyonce not to harmonise.

Fun in stretches when not stuck in an uncanny rut, anyone still wondering why this exists must know by now that Disney just can’t wait to stay king.

The Lion King is in cinemas now

[ethenell]

Best Films of 2018, Part I

10. First Man (dir. Damien Chazelle)

“That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.“

Everything about First Man screamed "Oscar Contender". Director Damien Chazelle was fresh off his Best Director win for the widely-beloved La La Land - a win which made him the youngest ever recipient of that prize - and was re-teaming with La La Land co-star Ryan Gosling to dig into the life of a modern American hero and explore behind the scenes of one of mankind's greatest technical accomplishments. On paper, it had front-runner status locked in from day one.

Alas, the award season gods had other plans ... First Man sagged at the box office despite a warm response from the critics, and it's Oscar campaign simply never took hold.

For the life of me, I can’t quite figure out why. 

First Man more than meets the high bar Chazelle set for himself with the prodigious one-two punch of Whiplash and La La Land. It succeeds in such dramatically different artistic and thematic territory than his first two films that practically demands reconsideration of any preconceived notions of his limitations as a filmmaker and as a storyteller. 

Chazelle's direction is as tightly controlled and formally ambitious as ever, and the script is rich in personal and technical detail, without ever getting bogged down in either. 

Gosling and Claire Foy - already building a noteworthy filmography following her critically-praised turn on Netflix's The Crown - are terrific at every turn, delivering restrained, affecting performances that deserved far more attention than they ever got in this crowded award season.

As is becoming routine on a Damien Chazelle film, the below the line work is roundly fantastic, with special distinction going to Justin Huwitz's brilliant score - clearly one of the year's best. 

But more than it's myriad technical achievement, First Man soars in large part because it recasts a chapter of history often depicted for the universality of its impact on intensely personal grounds, and in so doing, rediscovers the fundamental humanity one of the human race's defining moments. 

9. Shoplifters (dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda)

“Sometimes, it’s better to choose your own family.”

What makes a family? This is the question that sparked lauded Japanese filmmaker Hirokazu Kore-Eda to begin work on the screenplay for what would become a Palme d'Or winning film.

It's a deceptively simple question which begets layers of gnawing moral ambiguity under even the lightest scrutiny. It is within these layers of grey that Kore-Eda places his central characters, a ragtag group who all live under the roof of their makeshift matriarch, earning a passable living from an ever-shifting combination of welfare fraud, soft-core sex work, and, of course, shoplifting. 

Living on the margins of society, the group maintains a relatively stable existence before making the fateful decision to take in a neighborhood child showing clear signs of parental abuse. It's an ethically problematic moment, but the film hardly lingers on it. It drifts forward with such tender and graceful ease when the other shoe finally drops with the entirety of it's devastating weight, you hardly see it coming. 

As the true scope of the group's messy co-existence comes into clearer focus, we are left to face an uncomfortable truth - despite all of their moral shortcomings, together, the group had found some kind of genuine happiness. It pits the black-and-white moralism of modern Japanese society against the nuanced humanism of Kore-Eda’s characters, and ends up making a convincing argument that neither perspective can adequately encompass the unforeseeable moral fallout of their actions.

Ultimately, Shoplifters is a film about the gritty details and complicated history that lies beneath the surface of our most ubiquitous human relationships. Uncommonly wise and unerringly gentle - even when it's ripping your heart from your chest - Kore-Eda's latest is an absolute masterclass, and the best film of his career.

8. Annihilation (dir. Alex Garland)

“I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction ... Almost none of us commit suicide; almost all of us self-destruct.“

There are moments (or is it days? or weeks?) in which I can't make heads or tails of this film. It's an enigma. It shifts before your eyes, defying your expectations and challenging your notions until you finally either get up and walk away, or give up trying to understand it and settle for just experiencing it. If you were lucky enough to find yourself in the latter group, then you were treated to a beautifully thought-provoking cinematic treatise on the human propensity for self destruction. 

Annihilation focuses on a team of scientists sent to explore a mysterious (and steadily expanding) phenomenon known only as The Shimmer, from which no other previous expedition has returned. As they move further into The Shimmer, the breadth of its mysteries only expand, taking an increasing mental and physical toll on the team, tasked with finding their way its point of genesis. 

Breakdowns, both mental and physical, are inherently cinematic, but never has a film that conflates the two ever felt so deeply invested in mining the metaphysical connection between them. 

Writer-director Alex Garland’s exploration of this philosophical territory is unyielding, making for a draining, sometimes punishing, viewing experience. Annihilation puts its characters through the ringer and takes the audience along for the ride. But it’s grizzlier moments never feel unearned. 

Every sequence feels deliberate, every shot painstaking, like they’re all pieces of a puzzle that’s laid out only partially assembled in front of us. That it’s left to the audience to piece some things together on their own isn’t a bug, but a feature - this is a film that’s built to linger.

If the comparisons to Tarkovsky’s Stalker feel obvious, perhaps the greatest credit I can give to Garland’s brilliant sophomore effort is this: Annihilation proves itself worthy of the comparison.

7. Cold War (dir. Pawel Pawlikowski)

“Let’s go to the other side ... The view will be better there.”

The Cold War, despite being generally cast in broad geopolitical terms, had real human consequences. This observation may not be novel, but as Pawel Pawlikowski’s moving sophomore film gracefully demonstrates, it can be painfully personal. 

Beginning in Poland in 1949, Cold War follows Wiktor and Zula, who meet in a makeshift musical academy established with the nominal purpose of assembling a touring ensemble based around traditional Polish folk music. But as the new Soviet government begins to exert increasing influence over the group, pressure builds until Wiktor finally flees to the West with Zula reluctantly staying behind.

From there the film takes on an elliptical structure, in which years pass during a momentary cut to black, and we see this fateful decision reverberate through the rest of their lives, with consequences both obvious and unforeseen.

Like Pawlikowski's debut film Ida, Cold War is shot entirely in a high-contrast black-and-white, its images packed within a boxy 4x3 frame. Far from empty stylistic flair, these creative choices pay huge narrative dividends.

Its precisely-framed shots, striking cuts and elegant camera movements come together to form the most distinctive visual language of any film in 2018. Pawilowski then puts this language to brilliant use, communicating with image and montage what he never could with dialogue alone.

The isolation that comes with the loss of national identity; the pain of love separated by political boundaries; the tension between personal satisfaction and artistic ambition. These ideas, merely present on the page, are given tremendous power on-screen thanks to Pawilkowski's exacting artistic vision and the film's incandescent lead performances. 

Despite the fact that it failed to take home any of the three awards for which it was nominated last night, the nominations themselves demonstrate that Cold War has a strong contingent of passionate supporters. Something tells me this contingent will only grow with time. 

6. Minding the Gap (dir. Bing Liu)

“This device cures heartache.”

Skating was an escape. For three boys in Rockford, illinois, skating was a release from myriad pressures that threatened to crush them in their early adolescence. At some point along the way, one of them picked up a camera and started filming.

From that seemingly innocuous decision, we can trace the birth of 2018's best documentary. Even more, it wouldn't be a stretch to call Bing Liu's Minding the Gap one of the best debut films (of any kind) in recent memory. 

The film’s elegant, gliding skating sequences are enough to make Liu's skills as a cinematographer and editor abundantly clear. But technical skill is only one element of film-making greatness. A truly great filmmaker puts their skills to work telling essential stories. The stories that Liu tells in Minding the Gap - stories about skating, friendship, family, and abuse - will shake you to your core.

As Liu's camera follows the journeys of his friends and subjects through the years, its piercing view shows with uncommon clarity how the abuse that they have suffered continues to shape their paths. To his own great credit, Liu is careful not to exempt himself from this intense scrutiny, sitting down with his own mother for an interview that makes up one of the film's most heart-wrenching scenes. 

In the end, it is Liu’s friendship and familiarity with his subjects that elevates Minding the Gap. First and foremost, his presence during his subject’s most painful and intimate moments can’t be taken for granted - that kind of access is only possible when the filmmaker has taken the time to really earn the trust of their subjects.

But their closeness pays further dividends when his camera catches the friends in their worst, most painful moments. In less familiar hands, these moments could overwhelm everything else we’ve come to know about these kids. But instead of reducing them for cheap emotional points, Liu provides the necessary context to continue seeing them as three-dimensional, complex people. Because Liu never loses sight of the goodness in these people, neither do we. 

Minding the Gap’s exploration of the complex emotional repercussions of abuse are all the more powerful because of it.

[podcake]

Podcasts & Genre: Noir

When one thinks of the noir genre, the most common association is film noir, a style of film making sparking in popularity many, meany years ago but still carries some relevance today. Though no one really makes genuine noir films anymore, unless you count a few with noir inspired elements, noir mostly lives on strictly as short parodies while mystery stories stay as mystery stories without the usual aesthetic qualities you’d identify a noir film with. 

Noir brings up ideas of stylishly produced, sexual, and cynical stories sparking during the 1940′s that normally focus on a detective that one might describe as hardboiled, a femme fatale or two, and some type of mystery plot to tackle, often involving murder. 

One of the core reasons noir is mostly treated with a certain level of parody in modern work is due to how dramatic these productions could be. The whole vibe of theatrics that came from these productions could be perceived as laughable nowadays. Though much like Broadway musicals could be given a massive reboot through the success of Wicked and later the phenomena of Hamilton, the same could be said for noir that will occasionally slip its way into more modern interpretations while still maintaining an authentic narrative. 

While this is fairly evident in film, we all know that things with more than one picture attached to it isn’t really my specialty. You’re here to hear things and then read about the things you heard. How can sound effectively get an idea across when we only have our imaginations and common sense to tell things apart?

As a whole, this article will be delving into the complexity of translating genre through sound with noir being the main focal point due to its rarity and presence in a different medium of entertainment. 

This might just be a theory though I believe that noir managed to flow pretty well into the audio drama realm mostly because one of the most vital parts of these films is a consistent narration. This aspect alone is oddly enough the real driving force behind noir getting a second life.

And yet I do realize that noir is a kind of genre that is very selectively put to use. It’s relatively rare for a new noir show to pop up, only ever making common occurrences around early to late 2016. Rex Rivetter: Private Eye and Neon Nights: The Arcane Files both debuted the same year with only a few months difference between their publications. 

The same could be said for The Penumbra that came out in March. If this is merely a coincidence or not is on the table as all of the shows came from different producers and are essentially different products in their entirety.

These shows are not the only podcast noir shows in existence, though it’s hard to ignore just how few their are in comparison to the abundance of horror and sci-fi shows that come out every few months.

Among these, The Penumbra and it’s tales of private eye Juno Steel are the most openly successful. The Penumbra takes a creative approach to both the noir genre, with a helpful touch of sci fi, and the fantasy-adventure genre in their Second Citadel series. But if we are to focus on Juno Steel stories in particular, it’s not hard to see why it’s gotten such positive press.

Normally taking place over the course of two part episodes, Juno Steel delivers some strongly written individual mysteries that work their way up to being a whole story with recurring characters and an intriguing central plot. We get some colorful one shot villains, a likable though also dysfunctional lead, and a touch of romance that works to reveal the character’s personal insecurities. 

The Penumbra’s specialty is to remix and retell classic story genres with a touch of modern edge and originality that lets them stand as great individual stories and joins The Bright Sessions and Wolf 359 as some of the most well known modern fiction podcasts. 

A little while later came Neon Nights and Rex Rivetter that I combed through back to back to form a proper opinion on. Though they’ll most definitely be the topics of some future reviews, I do enjoy the air of the occult with Neon Nights which gives it a sort of Dresden Files vibe and Rex Rivetter that’s a touch more old fashioned through presentation which gives it a certain air of glamour that is sometimes delightfully camp. 

The newest contender for the noir genre is What’s The Frequency? which has already made quite the splash in this mostly independent art community with a strong first episode that left a lot to the imagination. Though I’ve always liked the level of absurdity that the noir genre can dig up while still maintaining an air of mystery, What’s The Frequency? is one of the most downright bizarre products to come out in recent memory that’s equal parts eerie and engaging. 

What’s The Frequency? truly commits to the style with its innovative use of static and the inclusion of voice work that invokes just the right vibe of psychedelic 1940′s it’s aiming for. It truly does feel old unlike the usual crisp and clean audio we get from the previously mentioned work. 

Something that has fascinated me is that when you take the film out of film noir you still get a genuine experience. Even without the gray scale, even without the crafty use of silhouettes and dramatic framework, noir has managed to ooze itself into the crevices of fictional podcasts from a purely audio based perspective.  

This I perceive as interesting as noir is noteworthy for its creative cinematography-Dutch angles, night-for-night shots, and silhouettes being the most common. Not to mention clothing like the iconic trench coat and hat approach, women with lipstick we could all assume was red, and people in formal dress for the sake of making every second look as classy as the last.

With podcasts, we only have so much time to get a visual across to listeners without loading them up with pointless filler, most of the run time consisting of dialogue meant to push the story forward to a conclusion. Though audio drama certainly isn’t limited to a purely linear story structure, it does have to pull through a bit more in certain aspects such as writing, sound editing, and acting to hold someone’s attention.

While film gives us more visual shorthand and generally does the settings and characters for us, audio drama leans heavily on getting its story out first and letting the listener fill in the blanks. In audio, visuals are an afterthought but imagery is still roughly where half of the writing effort goes into. It is much easier to look pretty than to sound pretty and this is why podcasts tend to be more ambitious since they can do more with less.

All of these individual shows have some sort of unique quality that gives it its rightful spot as separate stories, and yet you’d be hard pressed not to describe them as noir. Noir is so grounded in film that the idea of translating it to a purely audio based format almost seems to go against what noir is supposed to be, and yet we never run into these complications when we stumble upon them.

We can still identify a horror show without visual blood splatters and can still consider a sci-fi a sci-fi even if we never actually see the interior of a space ship we’re inside of. For example, Wolf 359 is very much science fiction with some strong comedy writing, though it’s also an entirely different beast than Hadron Gospel Hour that may be in the same boat but clearly going up a different stream. 

Audio Diary of a Superhero and The Bright Sessions both tackle ideas of disability outweighed by extraordinary power, and yet it’d be near impossible to get the two mixed up. Presentation and packaging can really make or break a show and how one plans to get these ideas across is the real definitive element at hand. 

While, let’s say for now, horror and science fiction don’t have any definitive visuals, only some recurring ones, noir is different in that it’s almost entirely built on a very specific list of cliches for it to be truly considered part of that group. You kind of need murder, you kind of need a detective, you kind of need a morally ambiguous seductress-so in that vain, noir can very much exist without the usual attributes as long as the audio can get these ideas across.

But let’s say, hypothetically, that these tropes aren’t being put to use. How exactly does one gain the right to consider their story a noir? Well from my understanding, these shows have leaned on a few common trends: a deep voiced protagonist with a definitive, world weary perspective, a jazz score, and taking place in a stylish but troubled city where all the conflict boils. 

It’s truly here that the idea of style and substance, narrative and aesthetic, play into one another for the better. 

Since this article is one part history lesson and another part describing things that are barley a year old, I do feel the need to dig up some facts. A detail many tend to forget is that audio drama was a vital form of entertainment years ago, it getting its start on nighttime radio broadcasts that were tuned into the same way we would watch prime time TV. 

Though this type of entertainment hasn’t entirely died, the radio part of radio drama has leaned more towards desktop computer drama or smartphone drama if we’re going to be taking about technology specifically. 

The thing is that podcasts got a hard reboot when Welcome to Night Vale reminded people how cool that was and everyone followed Joseph Fink and Jeffery Cranor’s breadcrumbs to make their own stories that were slightly less time consuming than writing a book and less expensive than making a movie. 

The strive for authenticity is strong in any artistic medium and podcasts are no exception. We may have our trends and sometimes repetitive structures and dynamics surfacing every few years, though the final product is what really gives anything its identity. What we consider truly authentic for anything or anyone can be boiled down to aesthetic value, narrative value, or something else entirely depending on your perspective. 

The same could be said for me as the whole purpose of Podcasts& is essentially to cover topics with a little more complexity than I’m normally able to. Reviews are restricted to whatever podcasts I managed to finish and pair up on slim similarities, Teatimes have the creators do most of the talking, and Palettes, one of the main support beams of the PodCake empire, are the equivalent of a “best of” reel-a first impressions, if you will. All the while I keep things interesting with flower emoticons and some cute girls over a pink backdrop. These are certainly accessories to my persona, though not the entirety of my work. 

With Podcasts&, we’re given just a little more time to look back and breathe in just what audio drama is capable of. If there’s anything about this medium that has fascinated me it’s the way it can transcend the typical confides of storytelling to still give a satisfying and unique experience. Many audio dramas exist in the same subgroups but I’m hard pressed to find any that are near identical to one another. 

Be it The Penumbra or Neon Nights-they may be fruit bared from the same garden, but their taste and textures are clearly being grown from different kinds of people. What makes each one interesting is that while noir is normally considered an exercise in creatively crafted footage, audio still manages to capture its identity and mood nonetheless. Noir audio dramas have to flex a little more muscle to really get their aesthetic qualities to matter since that is what defines their genre in the fist place.

Interesting how these articles tend to tie into one another. 

As I get to the conclusion of this editorial, I realize I have opened up a whole new can of worms when dealing with genre construction that is such a broad topic that I’ll need more than one text document to talk about it. Maybe some other day in some other month when all the Palettes and reviews are done and I can work up something proper worthy of being the first article of the new year. 

We can discuss comedy and horror and science fiction and surrealism. We can talk about all that has come of it and how there is no one way to tell a tale or represent a genre. 

So consider this little piece a...prelude for what is to come. Let’s talk about history, let’s talk about audio entertainment in its entirety, let’s bookmark Wikipedia articles, because the topic of genre is barely even at its peak when it comes to noir, though the fact that it exists at all says something about what just a few sounds are capable of.

[g-gil-h-blog]

The Mission Actually Felt Impossible - Mission: Impossible - Fallout Review

Mission: Impossible – Fallout is living proof that quality filmmaking can elevate any film. The three previous installments had been entertaining if largely average action fodder, so it was to my surprise that this film completely outdoes those films and despite some reservations, it nonetheless provided one of the best cinematic action experiences I’d had in a long time!

The actions scenes are the stars of the show and are some of the best I’ve seen in an American blockbuster, and this can be owed to a level of craftsmanship in the filmmaking that is uncharacteristic of the genre. The use of practical effects pays off beautifully, every action scene has a sense of tangibility, an added grit to the action that’s been missing ever since the widespread adoption of CGI. Every action scene has a distinct personality, made distinguishable by action, the set pieces, or the filmmaking involved, it was refreshing to see this kind of film with this little redundancy. The frequent use of sweeping Steadicam shots brings the film to life even when used during non-action scenes, and the very restrained editing allows for the audience to take in all the sights and appreciate the way the story is told through the camerawork.

The director trusts the audience to understand visual storytelling, understand subtext in dialogue, or understand the emotions of the scene without leaning on expository dialogue and obvious musical queues to handhold the audience through the story; a certain level of attention is expected from its audience, allowing for less common film devices to be employed.

It was also nice of the filmmakers to give Tom Cruise personal stakes amidst the chaos, scenes involving his personal relationships getting intertwined with the conflict, or scenes where his moral code is challenged, though not mind-blowing, at the very least demonstrates that the filmmakers understand that gigantic set pieces aren’t necessary to generate drama, that the film can appreciate the smaller moment.

The movie’s biggest strength is the abundance of smaller, intentional details that can be found scattered throughout. Such as the way the story references the continuity of the franchise while still completely functioning as a standalone story or having a countdown timer that counts down in real time, or the decision to never show the Eiffel Tower nor the Big Ben despite several scenes taking place in Paris and London. These details hold little importance when you look at the big picture, but they are nonetheless detailing that demonstrated effort on the filmmaker’s behalf.

I also appreciated that for the first time in the franchise, the mission actually felt impossible, and much of this is due to the subjectivity of the filmmaking. There are many ways the film uses film-language to put the audience into the characters’ heads; utilizing non-diegetic sound design, limiting the flow of information to what the characters know, continuous takes that follow the character’s actions.

Also keeping the audience in on the edge are the rapid-fire twists, double-crosses and bait-and-switch moments that made the film hard to predict from a moment to moment basis. The bait-and-switch moments were particularly noteworthy because they act as a double-edged sword: while they succeed in reminding the audience of the stakes are by temporarily acting as if our characters had failed to disastrous results, the disadvantage is that it inadvertently calls attention to the fact that the mission is never impossible, and it’s bitterly disappointing that these potentially ground-breaking breaks from the formula didn’t actually happen.

Despite impressing on a micro level, with many insignificant details the explore and appreciate, when you step back and observe the film from afar, you realize it’s all in the service of an unchallenging bigger picture. There was not a single major plot point that I not only could have predicted before going into it, the sequence of events was incredibly safe and the only times that scenes concluded in unexpected ways was because you took the bait and are were waiting for a switch.

Certainly not helping matter is Tom Cruise and the character of Ethan Hunt, both of whom lighten the burden of suspense. The hyper-competency of the Ethan Hunt character has only increased with every successive installment, and Fallout heightens it to completely absurd levels. The is absolutely no ceiling to Hunt’s abilities as he is completely incapable of human error, and Cruise’s performance doesn’t convince me he’s a human either. His acting was incredibly stiff and lackluster; he displayed no semblance of concern, doubt or any other relatable human emotion you’d have in an intense situation, which I suppose is appropriate when the in-universe reason the character doesn’t retire is that everybody is convinced the world would certainly end if he did.

The predictability of the movie can be attributed to the complete adherence to the conventions of the franchise and the American-blockbuster genre at large; I won’t surprise any of you if I say the blank-slate protagonist is an unstoppable bad-ass that saves the day in the end.

But the most curious aspect of the movie is that it almost feels as though the film is at war with itself; that Ralph McQuarrie was wrestling with the formulated nature of the film he was making, with the most unique parts of the filmmaking seeming like they were included to mitigate these narrative weaknesses.

The inclusion of subjective filmmaking devices and interpersonal emotional conflict are employed to make a completely unrelatable power-fantasy devoid of human characteristics seem like a relatable human, and the rapid-fire twists, double-crosses and bait-and-switch moments are designed to infuse unpredictability into an inherently predictable story.

Mission: Impossible – Fallout feels like great movie trapped inside a good one, with the gorgeous detailing that is found within the mundane overall structure hinting at unfulfilled potential. However, the potential of the filmmaker does not go to complete waste, the overall construction is still sturdy and immensely satisfying. The action scenes are some of the best the American blockbuster factory has produced, and more than make up for a cliched plot.

And on the bright side, the film is doing exceptional business critically and financially, scoring the best reviews and box office returns in the franchise, which makes me optimistic that when Paramount inevitably greenlights a sequel and McQuarrie hopefully returns to helm it, that he’ll be entrusted with more creative freedom and be able to deliver on that promise of something truly special.

7/10