#in the middle of our living room at 9 am

[bookinit02]

realizing i do this thing that i really really hate which is when i’m originally super excited about something but the default reaction is something negative i’ll eventually just start spouting off a million disclaimers every time i bring it up. like yeah i’m majoring in creative writing haha don’t worry i know i’m never gonna make any money haha i’m definitely going to just get a practical job and publish on the side maybe if i’m lucky!! like NO bitch have some confidence in yourself😭😭 goddamn i’m such a pushover

[lightseoul]

cw. worker!reader, prohero!katsuki, aged-up (25), pining (squint harder y'all), a lot of cussing (wouldn't be a bkg fic w/o 'em), reader has an ex-boyfriend, our boy kiri finally makes an appearance

words. 2.7k (i had to stop my head was aching)

masterlist | part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9

If you were to suddenly rise to fame overnight, for what reason would it be?

The answer you’ve always had for these silly icebreaker questions was simple. That one passion you’ve nurtured as a hobby, perhaps? Or the hidden talent—party trick, really—that your friends always goaded you into demonstrating during get-togethers? Or it could be getting recognized for the work that you do and how much of your soul you put into it.

Really, it could have easily been any of the three.

Which is why you couldn’t have seen this reality hurling straight at you even if it was waving a shining red flag at you from a safe distance.

You adjust the face mask that’s snug against your cheeks for the umpteenth time, vaguely aware of the child seated in front of you who’s also staring like he’s trying to make out who you’re supposed to be under the barrier.

Tamping down the annoyance springing in your gut over a kid occupying a precious chair in this crowded subway train during rush hour, you shift on your feet and tug down with your extra hand the hat that you quickly threw on on your way out this morning.

It was the least you could do after unceremoniously finding out through your best friend at 5:37 AM that you’ve become one of the Internet’s sensational hits overnight, now being dubbed as #2 Pro-hero Bakugou Katsuki’s heavy-handed girlfriend, emphasis on the heavy.

Needless to say, the news sent you into panic and you couldn’t go back to sleep no matter how hard you tried. Your emotions and thoughts went into overdrive, and you found yourself at the crack of dawn mulling over the options you had in front of you.

You knew you were grasping for straws when you started thinking about stealing someone else’s identity and moving far, far away from Japan where the concepts of pro-heroes and the World Wide Web were unbeknownst to the living population.

That pipeline got you nowhere.

Which leads you to the present: decked out in a flimsy disguise, horridly sleep-deprived, anxious as hell, squished between late salarymen and chatty high schoolers in a cramped train carriage, and subject to the increasingly scrutinizing stare of this kid in front of you.

To your relief, you arrive at your station before the child can put two and two together and expose you to the rest of the crowd. You quickly shuffle out and expertly weave yourself through the sea of people, desperate to get out of the public space and into the safety of Ground Riot agency.

Though your imagined bubble of safety is immediately popped the moment you enter the building and feel what has to be dozens of pairs of eyes on you.

You hurriedly scan your employee ID and head for the elevators, heaving a relieved sigh when no one follows you into the space.

It’s barely 8 AM, and you’re already drenched in sweat. You’re in the middle of wondering if you’re already sporting a fucking pit stain when your phone chimes its familiar tune, signifying a text message.

You peek at the notification banner to see Bakugou’s name, alongside a short directive.

(7:51 AM) Bakugou (Dynamight): Conference Room A—be there in 10. PR and the rest want to see both of us.

Fuck.

The room’s not empty by the time you stumble in seven minutes later. Hiramasa Hikari, your direct subordinate in charge of employee relations, is seated on one of the comfy office chairs circling the long, oval table, looking indubitably harrowed as she thumbs through an all-too-familiar booklet.

Wordlessly, you walk towards where she is and plop yourself down on the seat across from her, right on the side of the end-of-the-table throne where Bakugou usually plants his butt during meetings.

You might have moved a little too silently because she startles when she looks up and sees you looking at her like you don’t know what to say.

Because you don’t.

Instead, you flash her an uneasy smile, which she returns right back. Although it morphs into a frown, “I’m guessing we both recognize how comical the situation is right now?”

At that, both of your gazes drift to the said document, conveniently titled ‘Workplace Relationships: Policies and Protocols,’ with your name written underneath as one of the principal authors.

You purse your lips into a tight line, suddenly feeling the tiniest bit of shame spurring in your gut.

You wouldn’t call yourself militant when it comes to carrying out rules and regulations related to your job, but being on the receiving end of a lecture regarding workplace relationships is—for the lack of a better term—humbling.

Even if the whole thing that led you here is fake.

Before you can stutter out an appropriately vague enough response to your colleague, the glass doors open like flood gates and in comes Bakugou in his hero costume, followed by Mikuri (the PR head you’ve talked about during your meltdown), and a group of coworkers who you’ve identified as a portion of the agency’s legal team.

You and Hikari stand up at their arrival, and sure enough, Bakugou pulls out the seat to your right, barely sparing you a glance as he situates himself.

The rest quickly follow suit, the atmosphere so tense you could cut it with a meat cleaver.

Nobody says anything for a while before Hikari clears her throat awkwardly, evidently feeling self-conscious over speaking in front of her higher-ups. “I guess I can start, then?”

You give her an encouraging nod as if you’re not about to be roasted by the very same girl you’ve been training directly since she got recruited two years ago.

Hikari clears her throat again before fixing her firm gaze on you. “It has come to our attention that multiple news articles have been circulating since last night,” she pauses as her eyes dart between you and Bakugou, “about the two of you.”

A pregnant pause.

“…Care to explain?”

You can’t believe it. You’re about to expose yourself and this embarrassing stunt you pulled. And you can’t help the dread that courses through your system at the thought of admitting out loud how you roped in your boss, of all people, to pretend as your date so that you could hide from the ex who dumped you over the phone how much of a loser you are.

How much a loser you’ve become, the present moment in mind.

It couldn’t get any more pitiful than that.

But you have to face the truth, and you realize that time is running out fast as you survey the expectant looks directed at you one by one as if everything’s in slow motion.

Finally, you open your mouth to blurt it out and get it over with, but Bakugou beats you to it.

In fact, he doesn’t miss a beat.

Which is fucking astounding, because what he’s about to say next quite literally causes your jaw to drop.

“We’re dating,” he states, voice even. “There’s your explanation.”

The exact moment he says that outright, blatant lie, it’s like all the air in the conference room gets sucked into a vacuum. You find yourself feeling lightheaded and it takes everything in you not to collapse like a boneless heap on the lawyer beside you. You think Bakugou notices because his eyes shift to look at you, and his eyebrows furrow so minutely as if he’s telepathically saying ‘Get it together.’

And so you do.

You don’t know what the fuck he’s thinking, lying like this to the very people who need to know the truth to effectively clean up the mess you’ve inadvertently made in just one Sunday, but at this point, you know better than to contradict Bakugou’s words.

“We’re dating,” you parrot, voice wobbly, “…yes.”

You will yourself to look up from the clasped hands on your lap, only to immediately regret it. Some of the members of the legal team are staring at either Bakugou and you with straight-up disbelief, while the others toss you a playful wink. Hikari, Mikuri, and Sawamura, the lead lawyer, however, look unsettled at best.

“Since when,” Sawamura starts, although he sort of chokes on his spit. He clears his throat, “—since when has this been happening?”

The pro-hero’s reply is almost instantaneous. “Why the fuck would I tell you that?”

Ignoring Bakugou’s defensive retort, you instead jump in to respond as calmly as you can. “Around two months ago. When we worked late nights on that issue under Hikari’s unit. We, uh—” you chance a glance at Bakugou, who’s looking at you intently, “—we were actually planning to disclose it to HR today, if you can believe that.”

“And you punching the groom at the wedding you attended,” Mikuri suddenly adds, voice pointed. “Was that part of the plan, too?”

At the reminder of your act of sin, you visibly cringe in front of your colleagues. You hear Hikari hold back a snort, and you flush further in embarrassment.

To your surprise, Bakugou speaks up. “That was her dickhead of an ex, and he was being an asshole to her.” He grunts, “She was only defending her name.”

Despite yourself, you can’t help but gawk at the man. The last thing you expected was for him to defend you. And so sincerely, at that. He could be a great actor.

“Well, regardless of the intentions, we have to deal with the act and its resulting consequences,” Sawamura sighs, before turning to face you. “We already briefed Bakugou on the way here but the guy and his family are threatening to sue for damages.”

“S-sue?” you choke out.

Mikuri nods solemnly in response. “I know Bakugou here wants to fight fire with fire by exposing the guy’s character but we believe it’s best to keep things as hush-hush as possible to prevent any more repercussions on his general popularity rating.” She gives you a once-over, “Would that be okay with you?”

You barely manage a nod, although she seemingly finds it more than enough.

“We’ve since been in contact with their lawyer and are on our way to a settlement,” the head lawyer packs on. “We’re scheduled to meet them in,” he checks his sports watch, “two hours.”

“In the meantime,” Mikuri interjects, “we might suggest you stay off your non-essential social media sites as we wait for the issue to die down.”

You nod again, failing to repress a weak laugh at the belated advice. “Don’t worry, I’m already on that.”

“In fact,” you quickly add before anyone else can interrupt you, “So much so that I don’t know what the hell is going on out there. How is Bakugou fairing in the ranks right now?”

Again, you feel the said man eyeing your side profile.

Mikuri cocks her head to the side in reflection, “Surprisingly, he’s holding up okay. We’ve had a marked increase in activity from the adolescent to young adult female demographic especially, but they’re all mixed reviews.”

At that, Bakugou sneers. “What am I, a fucking movie for these extras to rate?”

You snort, and now you see Bakugou side-eye you, although there’s no bite to it.

“Anyway,” Sawamura interjects, “That’s more or less it from us and PR as well, I believe. We’ll keep you both posted.” The man glances at Hikari, “Hiramasa-san, anything else from your department?”

“Oh, yes,” she quickly riffles through her documents before settling on the booklet from earlier and timidly handing it to Bakugou, who accepts it gingerly. “My supervisor here knows the guidebook by heart so you two should be good in keeping yourselves in check.”

Her eyes quickly dart to you as if to watch your reaction before they just as quickly dart back to Bakugou. “But just to reiterate, we strive to keep everything professional here at Ground Riot agency, so that means drawing a clear boundary between your work and personal lives. That also means no inappropriate PDA.”

“Tch.”

You gulp, feeling all sorts of weird all of a sudden. Accidentally demonstrating PDA with Bakugou should be the least of your worries but there’s no denying the pulse of anxiety that resonates at the mention of it.

After you and Bakugou begrudgingly agree to the terms and conditions, the meeting finally gets adjourned and your workmates pile out of the room one by one. You don’t realize how tense your shoulders are until you’re left alone with Bakugou, and you allow yourself one deep exhale.

Your boss, who’s still sporting a sour expression on his face, shifts his attention to you at the sound. You feel yourself shrink in a bit under his penetrating gaze, although you try to straighten your spine soon thereafter.

You take a few steps towards the doorway and peek through the hall for any bystanders. Once sure that you’re most definitely alone, you turn to Bakugou. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

He’s not looking at you but his eyebrows furrow still, revealing his listening. He doesn’t say anything, though.

You continue. “It’s obviously bothering you that we’re keeping up this charade. Never mind your ranking potentially slipping, what about the stress of having to pretend and hearing people talk? You don’t need that on top of—”

“I don’t give a single fuck what people say about me.”

You knew that, yet you still frown at his tone. “But you give a fuck about being number one.”

At that, Bakugou finally moves to face you. “Look, I hate that I have to say this, but even if I had no dating scandal affecting my popularity rating, good or bad, all this doesn’t make a difference in helping me get past shitty De– Izuku, at least in a way that matters.”

He huffs before looking away to the floor-to-ceiling windows. “That popularity shit’s out of my control and has nothing to do with my abilities. The other metrics are.”

As you gaze at his back, you think about how image is in fact important when it comes to being the ultimate hero—mind drifting back to All Might and how he served as the pinnacle of safety with his powers and impactful symbolism. But then it gravitates to Endeavor and how, despite his far from amiable personality akin to that of Bakugou’s, he earned the people’s trust in his own way as the new #1 upon All Might’s retirement.

“Okay,” you exhale again, “I believe you. Still doesn’t explain why you seem so bothered, though.”

Bakugou immediately whips around to look at you, frustration etched on his pretty features. “Why did that jackass even invite you in the first place?”

That’s what’s bothering him?

You chuckle, although what you’re about to say probably isn’t a laughing matter. “I think it’s because he saw me as a charity case,” you pause, debating whether or not to tell him the embarrassing truth, eventually opting to do so. “He always made me feel like I should thank my lucky stars I scored him, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was doing me a favor by inviting me to his wedding.”

“…You know you can do better than that dipshit, right?”

You smile despite yourself, “I know… That’s why I’m dating you, right?”

You only meant to lighten the mood after what has been a grueling, impromptu meeting, but you didn’t expect Bakugou to redden in what you think is annoyance at the innocent quip.

You immediately backtrack. “I was just—trying to, uh—’m just joking around…”

Bakugou doesn’t get the chance to potentially snap at you in irritation because Kirishima, Red Riot, waltzes in with a big, toothy grin on his face.

He beams at you then turns to regard his best friend, grin growing even more in size as if that was still possible.

And what he says next confuses the shit out of you and grants him a hard shove from your now fake boyfriend.

“Congrats, Bakubro! Freaking finally!”

tagging. @kitthepurplepotato @chelbyisbord @lovra974 @katsukis1wife @brunnetteiwik @bunnysaursushii @k0z3me @meeeepsworld @asura-rose @dragonscribble @moonz33 @citrustsuki @deadhands69

˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are much appreciated <3 they really do make a difference! have a lovely day~

[its-all-stardust]

Sugar || 9

Masterlist || Part Eight

Steven Grant/Sugar Mommy!Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Series Summary: You meet Steven in a museum gift shop and feel an instant connection. Before you walk out the door you decide, perhaps against your better judgment, that you need him to be your sugar baby. Now you just need him to let you treat him right.

Note: this chapter is very late and fairly short. tbh i could have added a lot more, but seeing as it's been 2 months since the last chapter, i wanted to get something out. But I am still working on this fic!! I'm going to finish it i swear, so please please yell at me to get my ass moving!!

When you called the next day, Steven didn’t answer. You waffled about whether to leave a voicemail and ultimately decided not to—not on that call, anyway.

On the second call, later that day, Steven still didn’t answer. That time, you left a message asking if he was feeling better and asking him to please call you back.

He didn’t. There wasn’t even a response when you sent his payment for going with you to the auction, something entirely unlike him.

By the third call, another day later, you were afraid of once again being too much, too needy. Yet you left another message anyway. You tried to keep it professional, not wanting to let on how upset you were.

“Steven, I still haven’t heard from you. I was just checking in. If there’s an issue with our business arrangement, please let me know as soon as possible.”

You wonder if he’s sleepwalking again or whatever disorder is causing him to blackout. Perhaps it’s like that first time, and Steven will come back confused but well and whole. You try to tell yourself that’s what’s happening now, trying to remain positive.

But, of course, the worry still creeps in.

What if he’s lost?

What if he’s hurt?

Should you call someone and report him missing? Is he missing?

There’s a chance you could be taken seriously, but you also know you could be seen as a psycho jilted ex-lover.

You contemplate the merits of hiring a private investigator or going to Steven’s apartment yourself to see if he’s there.

You can’t go in, you don’t have a key, but you could knock. Maybe even ask his neighbors if they know anything.

You simultaneously try to convince yourself that nothing is wrong and something is.

If something has gone wrong, he needs you, and you can’t get to him. If it hasn’t, then he’s purposefully avoiding you for whatever reason.

You remind yourself you shouldn’t feel this way. Shouldn’t feel so attached.

By Sunday evening, you’re a bit of a mess. If you bit your nails, they’d be gone by now. Instead, your anxiety manifested outward. Your apartment is both chaos and order.

You went on a bit of a cleaning spree. Normally, once a month, you hire someone to come deep clean your home, moving furniture and putting in more elbow grease than you typically care to. These last few days, though, you attempted to take matters into your own hands. And while you were already cleaning, you figured you might as well sort through your cabinets, closets and shelves to see if there is anything you no longer feel the need to hold on to.

As a result, the bathrooms and Steven’s bedroom are spotless. The living room and the kitchen have been destroyed. Only your bedroom is untouched, but that’s only because you got distracted after going through the walk-in closet.

You would have kept going until something in you snapped, or everything was back in order if only the hunger pangs weren’t so distracting. It was a blessing in disguise that your nerves never seemed to affect your appetite.

You’re at your kitchen table, barely tasting whatever leftovers you had in the fridge and staring off into the middle distance when your phone rings.

At first, the sound doesn’t register, drowned out by the constant static filling your head the last few days. But then you realize what it is and lunge toward the counter where you left your phone.

Your heart stops when Steven’s name flashes on the screen. You don’t have to think before pressing the phone to your ear a second later.

“Please tell me it’s still Friday,” Steven blurts as soon as you answer. “Or even Saturday, and I got really drunk on champagne last night.”

Relief fills you, but it’s quickly overshadowed by worry.

“Baby, it’s Sunday,” you tell him gently, sinking back into your chair at the table.

“I was afraid you’d say that,” Steven says, dejected.

For the past few days, you had thought, perhaps, that Steven was going to end your relationship. That he no longer wanted to be your sugar baby and didn’t know how to tell you. But his losing time, unable to recall anything during his blackouts, is much more frightening.

“It’s like I’m losing my mind,” Steven continues. “First, I’m losing days, and now Gus regrew a fin.”

That catches your attention. “Gus what?”

You distinctly remember Steven talking about his pet goldfish only having one fin. “Goldfish don’t regrow body parts, Steven.”

“Well, it’s either that or someone broke into my flat, stole Gus, and replaced him with an imposter,” Steven says, his voice bordering on joking and hysterical.

As ridiculous as it sounds…

“You’re sure you don’t remember doing any goldfish shopping?” you ask feebly. Someone replaced Gus after who knows what happened to him, and the most likely culprit would be Steven himself. Not that any attempts at regaining blackout memories have proven fruitful, nor is there an obvious explanation as to why he would do that in the first place.

“Not that, at least,” Steven answers quietly.

“You remember something?” you ask quickly, excited. Whatever it is, it might help you both figure out what’s happening.

“There’s…something alright.” He’s hesitant, like he isn’t sure what to tell you. Perhaps afraid you’ll think him crazy or maybe be disturbed by what he does remember.

“Can I…come over?” Any confidence Steven had around you seems to have been washed away by whatever happened while he was gone. In its place is the same uneasy timidity he had when you first began your relationship when he wasn’t sure what he could and couldn’t do.

“Steven, you never have to ask.”

When he walks through the door, Steven goes straight for your embrace, desperately, it seems, needing your arms around him. He breathes a sigh of relief, melting into you.

You don’t say anything and simply enjoy the feeling of Steven in your arms again. Before, you could survive a few days without him next to you. Now, you can’t imagine letting him out of your sight.

You don’t know when that change happened.

“Do you need anything?” you finally ask, your voice breathless. A mixture of relief and Steven squeezing you a little too tightly—not that you’re complaining.

“Just you,” Steven mumbles, his face buried in your neck. A pleasant heat fills you.

The two of you stand there for a moment longer, tangled up in each other, relishing in the comfort. You want to move to the couch to hold Steven properly but don’t want to be the first to let go. You don’t want Steven to think for even one second that you’re abandoning him in any way.

Steven shifts, lifting his head, and presses his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

“At least I know you’re real,” he mutters more to himself than to you.

You have no idea what that means. It’s likely a part of what he has to tell you about the last few days.

“What happened?” you ask softly, prompting him.

Finally, Steven stands up straight, his arms loosening around you but not completely letting go.

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Then, with a slight shake of his head, he says, “I don’t even know where to start.”

With your hands on his arm, you lead Steven to the couch. “May I?” you ask, and with Steven’s nod, you continue. “Let’s start with the auction. You seemed fine at first, but something happened to you.”

Steven’s brow furrows in concentration, trying to remember what happened just a few short days ago.

“I remember going. We met your friend, but then…” He shakes his head. “It’s blank. Part of me didn’t feel right, but… I don’t know how to describe it. One second was with you, and the next, I was dreaming or something before waking up in my bed.”

Steven’s eyes widen, apparently realizing something. “Oh God, I didn’t just leave you there, did I?” he quickly asks, eyes searching yours.

“You didn’t,” you assure him. Even though Steven has the right to walk out on your arrangement anytime he wants, aside from your assumptions after the auction, he’s never shown any sign of wanting to do so. “You had me take you home, though. Do you remember that?”

Steven shakes his head. “When did that happen?”

The best place, you decide, is the beginning. Instead of guessing at what Steven doesn’t remember, you replay the whole night for him—even the parts he’s already mentioned himself.

“I thought you didn’t like being there. Maybe you were bored, or the crowd was too much for you. You got so quiet. And then you asked me to take you home.”

“I don’t…feel like myself.”

You weren’t sure what he meant at the time, but now it makes sense that that was when Steven’s memory started going blank.

“I don’t remember that,” Steven says softly. “Did something happen afterward? When did I leave?”

“Leave?” you repeat, slightly confused.

Steven continues, not hearing you. “Did I say where I was going? Or…or did I sleep in the spare room?”

That’s when you realize that Steven didn’t think of his apartment when you said you took him home. He thought you meant yours.

“Steven,” you say, interrupting him before he could keep trying to fill in the blanks himself. “I didn’t bring you back here. You had me take you to your apartment. Something about you needing to be there.”

Steven’s face scrunches up in confusion as if that course of action doesn’t make sense to him. He goes silent, and you let him think.

You want to ask about what he said that night, what it could have meant. What it was about himself he couldn’t tell you.

But you don’t. He didn’t want to talk about it then, and there’s a reason he wouldn’t know what you were talking about if you did.

An eerie feeling washes over you. At the time, you knew something was wrong, but looking back now and realizing that something inside Steven had changed, and he was no longer remembering what he was doing leaves you unsettled.

Whatever is happening to him, you need to help figure it out. The problem is, as far as any doctor could tell, it wasn’t anything physical, nothing that left an outward sign of its presence, leaving you at a loss.

“I followed you in,” you tell Steven, needing to say something about what happened in his apartment. “Pretty sure you didn’t want me to. You kind of…ran, but I needed to know you were okay.”

“Well, now I know something was definitely wrong with me. I would never run from you if I were in my right mind,”  Steven tries to joke, but it comes out weak, without much feeling behind it.

It’s nice to hear nonetheless, especially with how this whole ordeal had left you feeling.

“I didn’t stay long,” you continue, no longer meeting Steven’s eye and instead turning your attention to your still interlocked hands. “It didn’t seem like you wanted me there.”

It was Steven, yet not Steven, sitting awkwardly at the table as you made him tea. Though he didn’t seem to hate you, he was clearly uneasy with you being in his space. Your heart pangs in your chest.

Before you can stop yourself, before you can even think, words spill from your lips.

“And then you wouldn’t answer my calls. Now I know why, but I thought I had done something, and maybe you didn’t want me anymore.”

Steven’s breath catches.

No, no, no, you weren’t supposed to say it like that. You should have practiced the words beforehand.

You lo-like Steven, but your relationship doesn’t have room for that. You’re in this position specifically, so you don’t get caught up in feelings. You don’t want them. They’re messy and complicated and leave you hurt more often than not. You pay people to avoid feelings, and it’s always worked so well.

Until Steven.

It shouldn’t matter if he wants you, whatever that entails. As long as he’s happy to accept your money for his services, you should be content.

The last thing you want is to pressure Steven into anything, which means keeping any and all ill-advised emotions to yourself.

You don’t want this relationship to end; admitting anything is a surefire way of making that happen.

“I thought you didn’t want to be my baby anymore,” you correct. Your first admission is true, but it’s best if Steven thinks this is what you meant, and you can pretend it doesn’t sound just as desperate.

Steven squeezes your hand and doesn’t release the pressure, making you meet his gaze.

“When I woke up, I saw you had called,” he starts, his voice quiet, eyes intently looking into yours. “I was so scared, I didn’t listen to them. I just needed to call you. See you.” He takes a shaky breath. “And…I think I’ve known for a while, really, but I realized something just now.”

Your brow furrows, wondering what he’s thinking.

“I have…so much I still need to tell you, but I think I need to say this now.” He starts talking faster as if he thinks if he doesn’t get the words out quickly enough, they won’t come out at all. Then, in a rush, he says, “I don’t want to be your baby anymore.”

Your heart stops beating, and pain fills your chest.

“I’d rather be your boyfriend.”

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[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - We Are Surprised

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 2 of 12 - Oh it’s fucking great. It could all go horribly south, of course. But it’s awesome at the moment. Messy gay and one of them is already pining? Got to love it. Including the negotiation.

I’d love a good sex negotiation, it’s almost as good as linguistic negotiation. This show makes me happy. All that said, it’s moving awfully quickly for a 12 episode run. Not sure what’s gonna happen on the backend. 

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 12 eps - I’m still enjoying it but I’m ready for him to die again now. 

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 5-6 of 16 - Toey is going after the Namgoong Award for Best Wingman this year, I see. And in exchange, literally all the rest of the friends are going to be his wingmen. It’s adorable. I also like that Phuwin got to be the aggressor for the first kiss. I like that this is mostly just boys flirting, and not really any prescribed seme/uke stuff. In general, I think these last two episodes I improved the show in my regard a lot. But then middles are always GMMTV's strong point, it’s whether they can stick the landing that’s an issue.

Two Worlds (Thurs iQIYI) ep 9 of 10 - Apparently we have the Frodo walking into Mordor episode. Also the sides were cute. In Thailand (like Taiwan) all gangsters are gay, apparently. 

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 5 of 12 - It’s cute but very cringe and dorky. Silly singing. Terrible pickup lines. Still, that was a ridiculously charming confession.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 12fin - Oh so good. Very few shows that feature one-sided long-term pining of this kind can resolve the unevenness of that power dynamic into a more stable and equal footing with such class. We really got to see the object of the desire turn completely around and become equally besotted. An age gap, stepbrothers trope like this one is hard enough but at this length? Very well acted boys! Unknown managed to show the older brother softening in a believable way that’s pretty unusual in narratives of this type.

All in all?

Unknown is a wonderful BL with a pitch perfect portrayal of long term pining, age gap, and the stepbrothers trope. The acting and chemistry are ON POINT (especially from the leads) which made the resulting characters very believable. When it dwells in intimate family drama, it's stunning. It's slightly less successful when it leaves the home and goes gritty. It's few flaws are the result of curtailed length. It could have used more breathing room to deal with side plots, characters, and companion character development. The editing was occasionally choppy and packed with flashbacks that broke the emotional tension. Still, those are mere quibbles. This is an excellent show that I know I'm going to be recommending a lot. 9/10

Finally Taiwan hits another one out of the park.

About.

Damn.

Time.

Blue Boys (Korea Sat YouTube) 4 of ? - Oh it’s so good, and they are so tortured and it’s just charming and I can’t EVEN. I just love it. I love that Korea is giving us this right now. You’re an idiot if you’re not watching this show, it’s truly spectacular.

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Well well well Japan. I see how you kneed. I enjoyed this episode better than the first two, and I am way into our Bad Boy second lead. I can already feel myself succumbing  to the syndrome. Next week = the obligatory onsen ep! 

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - Omg most adorbs failed linguistic negotiation. 

Boys Be Brave AKA Roommates (Korea Thurs Viki) ep 5-6 of 8 - I love the side couple. It’s a shame we’re finally getting some truly great class conflict and it’s relegated to crumbs.

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 11-12fin - Well that was a waste of time. There was no connection (of any kind) between the leads. The language thing was hella weird and likely added to that. The past history of the Korean character was necessary to know from the start, its lack throughout, meant there was no depth to his character. They tried to tackle all the interesting stuff in the final 2 eps. AND they even killed the dog. I never thought I'd type this sentance, but Peach of Time is better.

I don’t know. 5/10 I guess

All in all:

A disappointing lackluster and barely cohesive BL about a jerk Thai actor (speaking Thai) who has to work for a Korean animal rescue cafe as a publicity stunt. It's difficult to believe the leads like each other, let alone fall in love. The acting is stiff, the characters lack motivation and cohesion, and there's not much to recommend this show beyond some pretty visuals. Also, they kill the dog. All in all, a disappointing and unsuccessful joint venture that mostly highlighted that between Thailand and Korea the style of BL, narrative approach, language cadence, and acting techniques all clash.

It's airing but...

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.

A Balloon's Landing (Taiwan movie) trailer - A frustrated Hong Kong writer, Tian Yu, meets a Taipei street gangster, Xiang (Fandy Fan from HIStory2: Crossing the Line), and the two of them embark on a journey to find the Bay of Vanishing Whales. Along the way, they discover unexpected twists and turns and close bonds, which brings out the message that "there is always someone like you in this world who is waiting for you. This released to cinemas in Taiwan, no word on international release.

Memory in the Letter (Thai WeTV) - it's done, tell me if I should bother?

Fan's Only Corner

Someone asked in a comment (which tumblr promptly ate) about group sleepovers in BLs. It's happened a few times but the only one I can recall being noted and particularly lovely (and VERY college) was in Nitiman. There's also one in Lovesick.

Next Week Looks Like This:

5/16 Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - Strongberry doing classic uni BL! Weeee!

5/19 OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 1 of 10 - LeeFrank are back - not unlike the undead (as it were). But how do we feel about it? Unsure given their track record.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

May Releases

VBL (Taiwan) is releasing 4 'Special Episode' epilogues to their 4 2023 shows every Friday this month on Gagaoolala, Viki & Viu. Not sure on search terms or how to find these. (Or, frankly, if we need them.)

5/10 – You Are Mine

5/17 – VIP Only

5/24 – Stay By My Side

5/31 – Anti Reset

5/25 The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer - HoTae & DongHee are back but unfortunately not in a cinema near me. Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS.

5/28 My Biker 2 (Thai movie YT?) - trailer

5/31 The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) - May not be BL

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

LOVE a smile kiss. Love it. Two killer kisses from PondPhuwin. Elegantly done, boys. Thank you very much.

I love them a lot all of a sudden. (All We Are)

It's hard to give MaxTul a run on their crown as best bodies in BL, but boy these two are giving it their, erm, best. (Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[fianllyclean]

Hey, bestie!

Maria, @taylorsmygirl13 and I both collectively feel like vomitting because we can’t believe that the tour is:

A. ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

B. IT IS ?! SO SOON?!

We have missed you so so so so so much. I think that everyone can collectively agree that when we left our final show on the rep tour that we didn’t think we would go the number of days it has been since we would next see each other. Almost 5 years, one pandemic, 2 degrees, 5 birthdays, 4 records, a bunch of happy times, a bunch of sad times, moving cross country, and new friends later, here we are about to embark on this new journey of tour!!!! I’m collectively just here to say how freaking much I am so thankful to be able to have tickets to the 2 shows that I was able to get. But most importantly that Maria and I are actually living a dream that we talked about for almost a decade. Being at opening Night! We are hecking excited to let all these emotions of the last 5 years out together and share this night with you, T. Maria and I became besties (I mean look at our prom pics in 2016 Lol, because of you.) She has taught me so much and led me toward some of my greatest accomplishments while always encouraging me to constantly keep pushing. I genuinely can’t wait for you to experience her radiant happiness that she emits into any room that she walks into, because every human deserves it. When you realize that she has been there on your side since 2006, at the age of 8 and is now 25. Wow what a journey and special relationship that is. She’s been there for every release day; midnight music video release, traveling hours for tour, spreading your message with her tiny students, and thanks to you, grown into the most successful and beautiful lady I know.

So excited to see you opening weekend at the Glendale shows!!!!

Glendale Night #1: Section C, Row 13, Seat 1.

Glendale Night #2: Section 129, Row 30, Seat 9.

Thank you for giving us a reason to see the desert 🏜️ 🌵, we wouldn’t go the middle of no where for no one else :)

We are so so so so so mega excited to see you and I want nothing more but for you and Maria to squeeze each other and share all these years of memories in conversation.

P.S. Tell Mer and Liv to not worry, I’m bringing Temptations for them and a special “nice to meet you” gift for Benji. 🐱🐈

WE CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU FRIDAY ☘️🇮🇪AND SATURDAY🪩🤠

@taylorswift @taylornation

[winchesterwild78]

An Unexpected Friendship pt 9

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, Jensen’s children

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: FLUF

A/N: This is a short story written in collaboration with @cheekygirl2309.

This chapter is so full of fluff. It’s a roller coaster, but a good one. Some big things happen in this chapter. 🥰 A few time jumps.

No disrespect to Jensen or his family. This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Written and edited fast-please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

Jensen left a few weeks later to go back to work. The kids and I were excited to follow him as soon as school got out for the summer. When Jensen arrived in Canada he signed the paperwork for the house and he had been living there, waiting for us. 

I was packing the kids and I up for our trip. Jensen suggested I pack enough clothes for a week, and we would get some more clothes when we got there just to keep and use while we were there. 

As we boarded the plane, the kids and I were so excited. In a few short hours we would be back with Jensen. Halfway through the flight the kids fell asleep. A middle aged woman sitting near us smiled softly, “Your children are so beautiful, and so well behaved.” I smiled at her, “Thank you. Their dad and I are incredibly lucky to have all of them.” 

She nodded and smiled. I sent Jensen a text.

Me: Hey baby, we have a few hours left, the kids are fast asleep.

Jensen: I can’t wait. Clif and I are going to meet you guys at the airport. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. 

Me: Me either. I can’t wait to see the house either. Maybe break in that new bed. 😘

Jensen: You better believe it, all night long baby. 😀

Me: I’ll hold you to it. I love you, see you soon.

Jensen: I love you too, and I can’t wait. 

I set my phone back down and looked over at our babies. They were all sleeping peacefully and my heart warmed at the sight. These four beautiful, sleeping children were now a huge part of my life, and I couldn’t see a future without them in it. 

When we finally landed and were headed towards the gate my anxiety started to creep up. I was anxious about getting the kids off the plane and to the baggage claim where Jensen was supposed to meet us. I knew this airport was large, and I didn’t want to lose them.

“Okay guys, when we get off this plane you four hold hands and JJ, you hold on to me, okay?” They all nodded. Before we could get off the plane a stewardess approached me. “Ma’am, are you Y/N Y/L/N?” “Yes, I am. Is there a problem?” “Oh no, we’ve been asked to escort you and your children off the plane to prevent any issues with fans. Mr. Ackles called the airline and told them there were pictures of you and the children on social media with your travel information. We just want to make sure you are all safe.” “Thank you, I really appreciate it.” 

“Okay, please follow us and we will get you guys out and through the airport and to Mr. Ackles.” We followed them and hopped on a transportation cart that zipped through the airport. I’d noticed a few people had their phones out, so I told the kids to keep their heads down. I didn’t want their pictures taken unless Jensen was okay with it. 

We pulled up to a private room and we were ushered in. Inside I saw Jensen and Clif standing there. I leaped into Jensen’s arms. “Jensen! I’m so sorry baby. I didn’t know anyone was taking pictures of the kids.” He held me tight, “Hey, it’s okay baby. It happens, you are all safe and here where you belong.” 

The kids ran to Jensen when I let him go, each one hugged him tightly telling him all about the last few weeks. “Hey guys, let’s get our stuff and go home.” I smiled at Jensen when he said that. “Yes, home.” I said.

We grabbed our bags and Clif drove us to the new house. It was even more beautiful in person. The kids had their own rooms, even though Jazzy and Arrow decided to share a room, and of course Jensen and I had a beautiful suite for our room. The bathroom was just as big as the bedroom. It had a double shower, and a huge double soaker tub. “Lots of room for both of us in that shower and tub, darlin’.” Jensen said with a smirk on his face. “We might have to test them out soon, baby.” 

We got the kids in bed, and Jensen and I sat in front of the fireplace, he had a glass of whiskey and I had a glass of wine. Everything was perfect. “Jensen, the house really is beautiful. Thank you.” “Oh baby, you’re welcome. This is our home. I want you to make any changes you want to make it feel more like ours. I nodded. 

As we sat sipping our drinks my mind kept wandering back to our conversation about marriage. “What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” “Honestly?” Jensen nodded, yes. “Us, our future, getting married.” 

Jensen sat his drink down, “What about it? Are you having second thoughts?” “Oh absolutely not. I want that more than anything. I was just thinking about what life would be like being Mrs. Jensen Ackles.” I blushed a little. 

“Well sweetheart, I can tell you it would look pretty much like this, the only difference is you’d be recognized more in public.” “Yeah, I just want to make sure the kids are safe when we go out.” “They will be, you will be, I promise.” 

Jensen stood, pulled me up and into his arms. “I’m so glad you’re here baby. I’ve missed you, your lips, your body.” He started kissing down my body, “Jensen, let’s take this upstairs.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the stairs, “You don’t have to tell me twice.” I giggled as I ran with him. 

We made it to the bedroom, Jensen closed and locked the door, and we made up for lost time, and Jensen was true to his word. We broke in the bed, all night long. 

*Time Jump December*

Jensen had just gotten home from a convention. I was supposed to go with him, but I had gotten sick and couldn’t go. I was completely bummed. Jensen and I had been dating for almost a year and there were pictures of us online with speculation we were dating. Jensen and I hadn’t confirmed anything yet, but he was going to confirm it at this convention since it was the last one of the season. 

“Jens, I’m so sorry I got sick and couldn’t go with you. I know you were excited to share our relationship with your fans.” I sniffled and coughed. “Hey, it’s okay. You can’t help you’re sick. We can always make a post online if you want to.” “Once I’m better we can if you want to.” “I do, Y/N. I can’t wait to share you with everyone. I’m so proud you’re mine and Jazzy is mine.” He placed a soft kiss on my forehead, “Now you lay back down and get some rest. I’ve got the kiddos.” I nodded and snuggled back down in bed. 

A few days later I was feeling better. I was thankful Jensen was home and was able to take care of the kids while I recovered. I jumped in the shower and went downstairs to find four very excited children and an even more excited adult. 

“What are you guys so excited for?” “Mommy, Daddy Jensen is going to take us to the Austin Trail of Lights tonight.” “Oh that sounds like so much fun, do y’all have room for one more?” I chuckled. 

Jensen stepped forward and put his arms around me, turning to the kids and said, “I don’t know. What do you guys think? Do you think we should let Mom come along?” The kids looked at each other like they were considering the question. I feigned hurt and laughed. “Yes! We want mommy to go with us.” 

“Whew, I was a little worried.” I said. Jensen pulled me close, laughing as he kissed me. “Eww, stop it.” The kids said. Jensen and I laughed. 

As night started to settle over the Austin sky, Jensen, the kids and I got ready to head out to see the lights. I had never taken Jazzy, and I hadn’t been since before she was born. The hum of excitement filled the car as Jensen drove with his hand in mine. 

I glanced over my shoulder and looked at the kids’ faces as we got closer to the trail. I loved seeing Christmas through their eyes. It always reminded me of what the season was truly about, magic, love and service to others.

Jensen helped me get the kids out and we walked to the gate. We held the kids’ hands in between us. As we approached the gate, Jensen pulled out his phone and showed the lady at the front the tickets. She smiled, looked over at us and nodded. “Have a great time, Mr. Ackles. You and your family. Merry Christmas.” Jensen tipped his head at her, “Thank you, Merry Christmas to you too.” 

The six of us started to walk the trail. Jazzy was completely blown away. Her and the other three were holding hands, giggling and walking just in front of Jensen and I. I took out my phone and started taking pictures of the kids, and a few of Jensen and I. 

We were halfway through the trail when something caught the eye of the kids. It was a beautiful display of a gingerbread house with gingerbread men at the front “Mommy look!” The kids called as I turned towards them. 

“Can we take a picture, mommy? Please?” I nodded and walked up with them to the house. I was snapping pictures of them doing different poses. I was laughing at their antics and turned to get Jensen’s attention. 

When I turned I gasped. Jensen was behind me, down on one knee and a small velvet box in his hand. I turned and looked at the kids who were now holding signs that read, “Mommy, will you marry Daddy?” 

I turned back towards Jensen, completely speechless. I noticed people standing around taking videos and pictures. “Well, darlin’, what do you say? Will you marry me?” Tears fell fast from my eyes, “Yes! Yes, Jensen, I’ll marry you!” 

I leaped in his arms, kissing him and hugging him. He slid the ring on my finger, and when we looked at the kids, JJ had flipped her sign over and it read, “FINALLY!” Jensen and I laughed. 

The group of people who had gathered around us were clapping and offering congratulations. I finally took a moment to look at my ring and it was breathtaking. There was a large solitary stone in the middle, and the four colored stones around it. Each stone represented the kids’ birthstones. 

“Jensen, this is so beautiful.” “I’m glad you like it. I hope you don’t mind. I added the kids to it too.” “No Jensen, I don’t mind at all. It’s perfect.” 

When we finished the trail Jensen pulled out his phone to message Jared, Nichole and his family to let them know. He asked, finally. “So I had already told them I was going to ask you, I figured there would be people there and I didn’t want our families to find out through social media.” “That’s smart. I’m sure it’s all over social media now.” “Yeah it is.” He chuckled as he showed me his phone. 

After we got home the kids were so excited and talked non stop about Jensen and I getting married. I noticed Jazzy was a little quiet, so I pulled her to the side with Jensen to talk to her. 

“Hey Jazzy girl, are you okay? You seem sad.” “No, I’m just thinking. I can’t wait for you and daddy Jensen to get married. Are you going to be an Ackles, mommy?” “Yes baby, when I get married to Jensen my last name will change to Ackles.” “Oh, will mine?” I looked at Jensen and he looked at me, “No baby. Your last name will stay the same. Your name changes when you get married or if you get adopted.”

I saw the tears form in her eyes. “So I won’t be part of the family?” Her voice is soft and sad. Jensen pulled her into his lap, “Oh baby girl you are part of the family. Your last name doesn’t change that.” She nodded. “Daddy Jensen, what is adopted?” 

“Well, for some people it means they get a new mommy and daddy, but for you that means I would go to a judge and ask them if I can be your daddy for real. If they say yes, then you get to change your last name to Ackles.” “Daddy I want to be your baby girl for real.” 

Jensen pulled her into a tight hug and looked up at me. “Sweetie, you are my baby girl, for real and forever.” “But I’m not an Ackles.” Jensen’s heart broke a little, “Do you want to be?” He asked her. “Yes! Then I can be your real baby.” “Well if it’s something you really want, we can see about it.” 

“Yay! I get to be your baby for real.” She hugged Jensen’s neck tightly and jumped down. “Bye mommy, bye daddy.” She waved as she went out of the room.

Jensen let out a deep breath. I touched his arm, “Jens, are you okay?” “Yes, I just want her to know she’s loved and I adore her.” “She knows, Jensen. She really does.” “What do you think about me possibly adopting her?” “Honestly that would be amazing, but it’s up to you.” “Darlin’ I’d love to, but it’s not just my decision. Do you think you could arrange a meeting for me and Josh’s parents?” 

“Yes I can call them, but why do you want to speak to them?” “I think it’s only right to ask their permission for me to adopt their granddaughter, since Josh isn’t around for me to ask.” I hugged Jensen, “That sounds perfect.” I kissed him. 

The next morning I called Josh’s mom and asked if Jensen and I could come over. She was more than willing to have Jensen Ackles in her house, she was a fan. 

When we arrived, she giggled when she answered the door and I introduced them. “Jensen, these are Josh’s parents, Margaret and Bill Johnson.” They shook hands and we were invited in. 

“So, Jensen, Y/N told us you wanted to speak to us. Oh and congratulations on the engagement. We are so happy for you two.” Josh’s mom said.

“Yes ma’am, and thank you. I love her and Jazzy very much. So I wanted to speak to you two about Jazmyne. She’s an amazing little girl and I love her like she’s my own. She fits perfectly in our family. When I marry Y/N, she will officially/legally be an Ackles, Jazzy will not. So, I’ve come to you both today to ask your permission to officially adopt her. You have my word she will always be your granddaughter, you two are always welcome in our home, and she will know what an amazing father Josh was. She will just be an Ackles, legally.”

Margaret was wiping tears away, and Bill was hard to read. Then he spoke, “Son, she’s our only granddaughter. Our only connection on this Earth to Joshua. If we give you our blessing, I need your word that she will still be in our lives. We wouldn’t survive losing her too.” 

“Yes, sir. I understand completely. You have my word, I wouldn’t dream of taking her away from you two. She needs you two in her life. You two are her direct connection to Josh, and that is something that can’t ever be replaced. I assure you, I’m not trying to replace anyone in her life. I’m just trying to help her feel like she belongs with all of us too.” 

“Jensen, honey, do you mind giving myself and Bill a few days to think about it?” “Oh absolutely, please take all the time you need. Here’s my number if you two have any more questions or any concerns come up.” Margaret took Jensen’s number and nodded. “Thank you, Jensen. We really do appreciate you coming and asking us. That shows amazing character.” 

Jensen and I stood to leave, Bill pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear, “You make him take care of you and that little girl. I’m glad you found him. He seems like good people.” I smiled and nodded, “He is, and he loves Jazzy so much.” 

Margaret hugged me after she hugged Jensen. Bill extended his hand to Jensen and shook his hand, “Jensen, son, thank you again. We will be in touch soon.” Jensen nodded and the two of us walked out to the car hand in hand.

Climbing in the car, there was a silence that fell between us. “I think that went well, Jensen. I really do.” Jensen nodded, “Yeah. I just hope they say yes. I don’t want Jazzy to feel like we don’t want her to be part of the family.” “I think they will, they just need to talk about it. They just want to make sure you are true to your word. I know you are, but they are a little worried.” “I get it completely. I would be too. I just wish there was a way I could convince them.” 

I took his hand in mine, “I know baby, just be patient.” He nodded and we drove home. When we got home Jensen went ahead and contacted his attorney to find out what he’d need to adopt Jazzy. “No, I’m not ready to move forward yet. I just wanted to know what the process would be. Yeah, okay. Thanks buddy. Yeah, I’ll call you back when I’m ready.” 

“So it seems like it's a pretty easy process. Since Josh is gone I don’t have to wait the standard length of time when two parents are involved. I just need your permission as her surviving parent.” “Well you know you have it, Jensen.” “I know, baby. I know.” 

A few days later Jensen’s phone rang. He showed me the caller ID. It was Josh’s parents. We walked into our bedroom to take the phone call. “Hello?” Jensen answered. “Hello, Jensen, this is Bill and Margaret Johnson. How are you today?” “Oh hello, Mr and Mrs Johnson, I’m doing great, how are you two?” “Please call us Bill and Margaret, and we are great. So I’m gonna get right to it. We talked about what you asked. We definitely have some reservations about it.” 

Jensen’s face fell slightly. I touched his hand. “I understand, sir.” Jensen said softly.

“However, we talked and we know how much you love our girls. We’re going to trust your word, son. You keep us in her life and take care of her, and we are more than happy to give you our blessing.” 

Jensen sat stunned. I squeezed his hand. “Son, are you still there?” Bill asked into the phone. “Oh yes, sir. I’m sorry. Thank you both so much. You have no idea what this means to me, to Jazzy.” “I think we do, Jensen. You take care of our girls.” “I promise I will. Y/N and I would also like to invite you two to celebrate Christmas with us and the kids. You’re family now, and that means you come for holidays, birthdays and other important things. You’re also going to have three more grandchildren by proxy.” Jensen laughed. Bill and Margaret chuckled, “Well I think we can handle that, Jensen. Are you sure we won’t be intruding on Christmas?” “Absolutely not, please come.” “Sure, we will be there.”

“Great! I’ll send you all the details when we get them finalized, and Bill, Margaret, thank you both again.” “You’re welcome, Jensen.”

Jensen hung up and pulled me into his arms, spinning me around. “I need to call my lawyer. I want to get this done ASAP.” I smiled at him, he was so excited and he was making me fall more in love with him. 

He came back into the room with a smile on his face. “Our court date is next week.” “Wow! That was fast, Jensen. How did you pull that off?” “Well I went to high school with the clerk of court, she pushed us on to the calendar. We have to go by the lawyer’s office to fill out the paperwork so he can file it. We can stop by tomorrow.” 

I nodded, “That sounds amazing, now we have to tell Jazzy.” Jensen nodded and walked downstairs to where the kids were playing. 

“Jazzy, can you come here please?” Jensen asked as he walked into the room. Jazzy came over and sat down beside us. “So Jazzy, mommy and I went to talk to Grandma and Grandpa Johnson about me adopting you. I told them how much I loved you and mommy and I asked them if they would be okay with me adopting you so you can be an Ackles. They told me they were okay with it.” 

“So daddy is going to adopt me?” Jazzy asked with wide eyes. “Yes baby girl, if you want me to.” She leaped into his lap, “Yes! I get a daddy again, and a brother and sisters.” He kissed her head and she jumped down.

I chuckled, “Well, I guess that was a yes.” “Yeah I think so too.” Jensen smiled, leaned over and kissed me.

*Time Jump Day of Court*

The kids, Jensen and I walked hand in hand into the courtroom. Josh’s parents, Jared and Gen, Nichole, and Jensen’s parents were all there. I was shaking and I was so nervous. Jensen held my hand, kissing the back of it, trying to steady my nerves. 

When the judge called our case, Jensen’s attorney spoke first. Then the judge, “Is the child present in the courtroom today?” “Yes, sir, she is.” “Can she step forward?”

I took Jazzy’s hand and stood beside her in front of the judge. “Jazmyne, I’m Judge Matthews, do you understand why you’re here today? She looked at me and I encouraged her to speak.

“Yes sir. I want Daddy Jensen to be my daddy for real and you get to say if we can or not.” “That’s right. So I just have a few questions for you, if that’s okay?” Jazzy shook her head, “Yes, that’s okay.” 

The judge smiled at her, “Okay young lady. Why do you want Jensen to be your daddy?” Jazzy stood there for a minute thinking about what to say, then when she opened her mouth, the whole courtroom fell silent. “I want Jensen to be my daddy because he makes my booboos better. He gives the best, biggest hugs. When mommy got hurt he kept me safe and when I was sad he made me better. He loves me and mommy too. He’s my daddy, like my Daddy Josh.” 

The judge nodded at her and smiled. “So you want Jensen to adopt you and you become an Ackles?” “Yes!” She squealed in delight.

The judge talked to me and Jensen for a few minutes. He asked if there was anyone present who wanted to make a statement on the adoption and Bill raised his hand, my breath hitched and a lump formed in my throat.

“Your honor, my name is William Johnson. Jazmyne is my granddaughter. Her father was my son Joshua. I came here today in support of this adoption. It saddens me that my son was never able to be the father that Jazmyne deserves, but I know with all my heart he sent Jensen to her and Y/N. This man loves this child like she was his own, so this adoption is just a formality at this point. I implore you to allow Mr. Ackles to adopt our little Jazzy.” 

The judge nodded, thanked everyone and said there would be a brief recess so he could come to a decision. 

About 30 minutes later we were being called back into the courtroom. When the judge was seated he asked for Jazzy, myself, Jensen and the other kids to step forward. 

“So making a decision like this isn’t one I take lightly. I look at all the evidence, talk to everyone I need to and above all I take into consideration how the child feels about it. Jazmyne, you, your mom and Jensen step forward slightly, please.”

The three of us moved forward. 

“After carefully weighing all the evidence I’ve come to the decision that from this day forward, Jazmyne Marie Johnson, will now be legally known as Jazmyne Marie Ackles. This is my order, entered this 13th day of December. Congratulations, Jazmyne. You are now an Ackles. 

The courtroom erupted in applause and Jazzy leaped in Jesen’s arms. Her arms pulled tightly behind his neck, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek and said, “You’re my daddy now, please don’t leave me.” He kissed her softly on the head, “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart, and neither are you, Jazmyne Ackles.” 

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[cherryswisherz]

KARMIC BALANCE ✷ CHAPTER III

✷WARNINGS cursing, pining??? idk. mention of the nd game and h*annah h*dalgo

✷NIYAH SPEAKS aye we back! this one is just paiges pob

✦✦✦✦

SENIOR YEAR

We lose to Notre Dame every year. 

Every. Fucking. Year. 

And now that I’m home in Storrs, looking at everyone as they try to mask their disappointment, I feel the loss even more. 

Which is why I’m walking around in the middle of night, the December air biting into my skin. I can’t stop thinking about everything that went wrong. Why everything went wrong. 

I honestly have no fucking clue why, but I know what went wrong. Everyone does. Our defense was lousy, our shots were horrible, we got too tired. I could go on, but that won’t fix anything. 

I find myself at Xavi and Janes house before I realize it. I tell myself that it’s because Yanna’s there, and not because of the wisdom that Xavia seems to have about every aspect of life. 

When Xavia opens the door wearing a smile and a moo moo, I ignore that bubly feeling in my chest and ask to come in. 

Once inside, I see her apartment is almost completely dark. The big lights are off, the living room being lit only by a candle and two lamps in opposite corners. 

“So, what’s up P?” Xavi asks, running her hands down the silk of her moo moo. “It’s almost midnight and you’re usually dead to the world by 9.”

Knowing that Xavia knows my bedtime makes me smile for reasons I don’t want to admit. 

When I first met her, Xavia was like a mystery. She was funny and smart and absolutely fucking beautiful. She’d apologized for making a false assumption about me. It was the first and only time anyone had ever done that and I never forgot it. 

When she and Jane started coming around more, I forced myself to swallow the want I had to learn more about her, to learn from her because I knew that if I’d gotten to the root of who she was, I’d be even more enthralled than I already was at that point. 

Eventually my heart stopped beating so fast around her. I’d stopped avoiding being within 3 feet of her and trained myself to treat her like I’d treated all my other friends. 

Because that’s what she is. My friend. 

It didn’t matter that her not worshipping ground I walked on excited me. It didn’t matter that almost every conversation we had alone rested in the back of my mind at all times. 

Xavia is my friend and that’s all she’d ever be. 

“Yeah I know. I just can’t get the ND game outta my head and I thought Yanna would be here to talk to.”

I’m lying and I know it. Whether Yanna was here or not, I would have found a way to talk to Xavi. I always did. Not because I wanted to be around her, but because she always had the answer to whatever problem that I have. Anyone would do the same if they’d stopped to pay attention when she was trying to get a word in. 

“Oh, yeah, she’s not here.” Xavi pointed a thumb to the back of her house, where Her and Jane’d bedroom’s were. Her locs swayed with the turn of her head. “Her and Jane went to Urgent Care cause she hit her shoulder on the wall and-” She waves her hands anxiously, as if she doesn’t feel like explaining a complex situation. “It was a whole thing. I’m sure you’ll hear about it tomorrow.”

I know I should be worried about my teammate who can’t seem to stay healthy. And I am. I make a mental note to check in on Yanna at some point, but right now, I’m thinking of a way I can stay and talk to Xavi without making it a thing.

“Oh…” is what I came up with. 

“You can talk to me?” Thank. God. “ If you want.”

Of course I fucking want. It’s all I’ve done for the past three years. 

I want to be a better person. 

I want to be 19 again and do everything differently. 

I want to win the championship this year. 

But all those wants are null and void for the biggest want of all. 

I want to get drafted to the WNBA.

And I’ve made  too many shitty decisions to get there to just throw it all away. So what if I’m miserable?

“Uh, yeah. That’s cool.” I play off my desperation and take a seat on her orange bean bag. 

Xavi plops down on the couch in front of me, crossing her legs and folding her hands. All her attention is on me and a part of me feels like I don’t deserve the attention of this amazing woman. But a bigger part is screaming that this is how it should be. 

Me, admiring every part of her, and her, willing and ready for anything I give her. 

Of course, in this situation all she wants is to know what’s on my mind, but I would give her whatever else she could think up. 

“So whatcha thinkin ‘bout?”  She asks sweetly. 

Her voice isn’t obnoxiously high. It’s kinda deep and mellow, just like she is.

“Um… I just can’t get over everything.” I shake my head and look at my hands. Hands that are supposed to get me everywhere I want in life.  “Like, I get why we lost. What we did wrong on the basketball front. But we were off the other day. We’d run those plays over and over again in practice. Studied film. We should have been prepared, but we were just off.  Like no matter how hard we tried, we just couldn’t get there.”

Xavia nods her head like she understands everything I’m saying. 

“Like everything was against you guys?” she questions. 

“No. I don’t think that anything was unfair. I think that our all just wasn’t enough.”

“Well, I know you can’t speak for anyone else, and I’d never ask you to. But why do you think you were off that night?”

She sounds like a therapist. The kind that isn’t just trying to fix you, but trying to understand you. The kind that hangs on to every word, but not to hold it against you.

“I don’t know. I just kept getting madder and madder and it threw me off. I did everything I was supposed to do.”

She looks confused now. “What do you mean ‘supposed to do’?”

“Like everything I thought was right. Everything I've always done.”

“Maybe that’s the issue.” 

Now I’m confused. 

“What?”

Following my routine has taken me and my team to the Final Four, and for Xavi to tell me it’s wrong stings a little. 

“Maybe doing everything you’ve always done isn’t the answer. Paige, you’re a somewhat mature adult. Do you honestly think you’re right all the time?”

What does she mean ‘somewhat’ mature? 

“...No?”

“Right.” Xavi sounds so sure of herself, leaning in and starting to talk with her hands like she does when she’s talking about her coursework or something equally as interesting to her. “It’s impossible to be right in every situation because every situation is different. When you throughout your daily life, do you treat every person the same? Do you go into every conversation with the same mindset, expecting the same outcome?”

I mean most people are the same, so what else am I supposed to do?

“Kinda, yeah.”

“Well that’s no bueno, babe.” She huffs out, pointing at me. Then, she entrances me again with her hands as she speaks. “ Every human is different. They have different pasts, and different views. Even if the difference between one person and another is miniscule, it’s there. And that difference is why it’s so important that we don’t generalize people.”

I know she’s stopped talking but I’m so caught up in her voice, and her hands and her face, and her to contribute to the conversation.

“Are you understanding?” She asks, seemingly genuinely concern with whether I’m comprehending what she’s telling me. 

And the answer is no, I’m not understanding. Whether there’s a differenc eor not, each person want the same thing and should be dealt with the same, based on what they want. 

This is the code fucking live by,a nd she’s sitting her debunking it in the most intellectual, attractive way possible.

“Not really.”

“Okay so like…” She sighs, pauses to think and then continues. “Do you remember when we first met? When I assumed you were a whore like alot of college athletes are?”

The reminder of our first interaction brings a calmness to me. I remember everything abou that night in her dorm. She wore sweats with no bra, and I’m pretty sure she was stoned.

“Yeah of course. You apologized to me that night and it kinda weirded me out.”

“Right.” Xavia snapped her fingers, bringing me out of my memory. “I apologized to you, because I generalized you and made an assumption based on one aspect of your identity. And I think it weirded you out because you’d generalized every person who’d made an assumption about you. I guess it’s rare that people apologize after being an asshole to you.”

It was rare. So rare that she’s the only person who’d ever done it.

“Okay…”

“So. Incourpurating that into basketball. Every team is different.”

I nod my head to let her know I was following. “Of course.”

“Okay and so every player on every team is different too.”

She lost me.

“No.” Now I’m the one leaning forward, talking with my hands. “They all move as a team. Yes, they have differences, but they’re all working together.”

“I see it differently.” She shrugs like she’s the master of basketball and done copious amounts of research on the psyche of an athlet.  “I feel like every player on that court moves individually. Do they play for the same team, and have the same goal? Of course. But they’re all different. They all have different thoughts and concerns and ideas. You said that girl Hannah was the head of the snake, but I think you should see it differently.”

“How so?”

“Instead of thinking of a team as one snake, think of it like… Like cheetahs!”

“Cheetahs?”

“Cheetahs.” She finalizes. “Once the mama cheetah gives birth, she trains her cubs to survive in any situation. To adapt to any surroundings. She teaches her cubs how to kill different animals, to hide, all that. Eventually, the cubs form a sibling group and go out together to execute everything their mother has taught them. Are you getting the analogy?”

When she’s explaining it in laymans terms, of course I get it. She could probably explain thermodynamics to me and I’d understand it fully. Xavia just has a way of making everything in life seem so simple. It’s wonderful, really.

“Yeah. Like the coach is the mother, the players are the cubs.”

“Right. But each cub is different. There’s a more dominant one, there’s submissives and then theirs the runts. Each one has to edit their mothers lessons to make it useful to them individually. Does that make sense?”

I’ve decided that she’s blown my mind enough for tonight, once again by being right about everything. So I just chuckle and dismiss the topic.

“How do you come up with this shit, Xavi?”

She laughs like a seductress and leans back on the couch, “I dunno. I read alot.”

You read alot? Reading alot has given you the ability to break down a sport like you’ve played it your whole life?

“Well thank you for sharing your knowledge with my dumbass, oh wise one.”

I stand up from the beanbag and make my way to the door, ready to take my exit.

“I’m not wise, I just see from a different point of view than you. Sometimes you gotta get outta your head.”

“I guess.” I sigh, then open my arms. “Thanks, Xavi.” 

She steps into me, her head just below my chest and wraps her arms around me. Her body is warm, but the silk she’s wearing cold. She doesn’t hug me tight or aggressively. Just stands there with her arms around my waist. 

It feels terrifyingly comfortable. 

“Anytime P.” she mutters, pulling away and ushering me out of her home. 

The whole walk back, my mind is on her and everything she said. 

How is it that this girl that is the exact opposite of everything I’m looking for, seems to be everything I need?

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[jocelynscrazyideas]

Right here? Right now? | Jack Hughes x Reader

Warnings: SMUT!!! Language, breeding kinks, unprotected, alcohol.

Summary: Jack has this incredible idea to have some extra fun at Jesper’s house at a party.

A:N- idk if this has been done, but I thought it was fun!!! Lmk if you’ve seen something similar (sorry)

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

Today is December 31, New Year’s Eve. Jesper decided to throw a party to celebrate with the team. Some of us couldn’t make it, but we did party all night. Most of the couples came, and Nico, Luke, and John came as solos.

“We should hit body shots!” Nico insists, obviously I back away from the conversation. I’m wearing a red lacy thong underneath my black leggings, I have a matching bralette lying in between my skin and Jack’s grey navy hoodie. Not to mention the fact I’m like the most insecure person on the room.

I step back into the couch that sits in Nicole’s and Bratter’s living room. I lay on my back lying flat across a piece of the white couch. “You gonna try?” John walks over to me. He sets his cup of beer onto the coffee table in the middle of the sitting area. He scooches over to me and lets me rest my head on his lap.

“No. I’m really tired.” I announce as I rest my hands and let John play with my hair. “You coming baby?” Jack walks over to us.

“no. I’m exhausted from our day today.” I responded to jacks question.

John and I have known eachother from our days in Pittsburg. I’ve followed him down to Jersey, he’s like a brother to me.

~

If he hurts you, y/n, I’ll make sure he’ll know not to do it again.

~

I mean that’s what John said the first time I told him that Jack and I are going out.

“Please! I want to body shot. I don’t what to do it with Nico, or Luke. Sure as hell not John.” Jack says as he points around the kitchen towards the guys. John picks my head up and walks over to the group of boys.

“Now it’s just you and me.” Jack whined. “You can say it. Just tell me if you don’t want to do it. Just letting you know, it’s gonna look wierd if we don’t do it.” Jack jolts at me. I sit up letting his head resting on my shoulder. I wrap my arm around his back and I lift my legs to cross them over his legs.

I kiss jacks cheek, “well if it makes you happy, I can get up there and do it.” I let go of jacks body and start over to the counter.

I hope ontop of the cold granite and lay flat on my back. Jack walks over and pushes through the crowd and rolls down my leggings. He reveals my belly button and he sets a small lemon ontop of my belly, he pushed my top up until you can see my bra.

Luke hands him a bag of leftover crushed jolly rancher mixed with sour patch kids smashed together. Jack sprinkled a little bit in between my breast. My cleavage slips jacks fingers inside letting him spread a bit. He sets a fireball in my mouth and he backs up, looking at his masterpiece from afar.

The party goes silent as people turn down the music and record. “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5-“

The count down starts for the new year! Jack walks up to me. He rolls his sleeves up from his own hoodie and sets his hat down. “-3-2-“

Jack takes the small lemon from my bellybutton and squeezes it into his mouth. He licks my abdomen from any crumbs that spilt on my torso. His warm wet tounge slips between my breasts and he takes all of the candy onto his tounge. The sourness hits him as he clings to me shoulder. With no hands, Jack takes the fireball from my mouth and takes the shot into his own.

He grabs me to pull me up. He walks over to where he set his beer last. He sips on his cooled drink and hands it to Nico.

“Yeah, goodluck trying tonight! She’s not letting you get anywhere near her. Especially at Bratters house.” Nico chirps at Jack. Jack smiles and walks away.

“I know, and I still am gonna try.” Jack holds his eye contact on my boobs as I pull down my hoodie from our fun event.

I laugh out, maybe I should let him try to buy me in. “Okay, go ahead.” I say and I hold jacks chin, and pull his mouth to my ear letting him whisper into me. He kisses my check before starting.

“I got like really- like really hard, I’m horny- I’m like REALLY , really turned on. Y/n please. Don’t make me beg.” Jack holds my left ass check in his right hand and he holds my back- right under my shoulder blades with his left hand.

He swaddles me in his hold for a minute as he prances around the room. We dance to the music, “it’s a new year anyway, we can celebrate!” Jack convinces me. He slides his right hand into my leggings discreetly and he pulls at my thong. He lets go as he lets it slap into my skin.

“Baby, I can’t wait any longer.” Jack pulls away from our hug that lasted like five-ish minutes. He runs towards Jesper.

“hey, um- I’m gonna need that guest room okay? And don’t let other people walk in, me and y/n are going through it. She’s really tired and I wanna stay so keep the music loud enough where you can’t hear us aguribg.” Jack sets our story up. Knowing Jesper, he already knows that Jack is trying to get in my pants. Jack walks around with his dick pressing against his pants whenever he sees me.

I whisper in his ear before he runs away with me, “seriously? Right here?” I judge him, he doesn’t care.

He takes my hand and runs into the room Jesper sets up for the party people- well Jack requested one, he always does this.

~

Jack throws me onto the bed, “legs.” He commands, I’m the only WAG that’s not wearing a sexy dress. I don’t need to impress anyone, Jack is the only one who’s seen me, and will probably be getting it.

I slides off my leggings and let him take off the rest of my clothes. He leaves my bra on, he takes my legs and sets them up. He moves my thing to the side. I’m already really wet.

“Wow, either you peed, or you really are horny.” Jack devilishly looks up from my pussy.

“No, you’re the one who’s horny, I just got off of my period.” I correct him. He’s never right, and I’m never wrong. “Fine, so that means your ovulating? Right?” Jack giggles as he stuffs a finger into my hole. He gets up licks his finger and locks the door.

He comes back and I’m already dry.

“You took to long.” I angrily reply to Jacks confused face. Jack jumps down onto his knees as I scorch up to the head of the bed. I hid a pillow between the wall and the headboard. I open my legs and throw off my underwear.

I unclip my bra and Jack tears it off my chest. He beds me down, my ass in his face, he lays down on his back as I sit ontop of this face. He moans as he takes me in. I start to jump on him. I feel like I’m going to cum, so I get up from him sucking inside of me, the suction form his mouth and my pussy breaks and I turn around.

Climbing into Jack, I face his hard dick, and he faces my very wet cunt again. “Again?” Jack gets annoyed. “Yes, you’re getting special treatment as well.” I pull onto his dick.

I play with his balls bad start taking his tip into my mouth. He lifts his hips up, the bdeige of his back lifted, my naked body lying on his bare skin. He licks my pussy out, cleaning every droplet of cum, and creating more. I do the same, except jack dumps everything at the same time.

“Excited, hey?” I tease him, Jack hits his nose into my bud. I realse more than ever and white juice spill onto jacks face. I get up finishing Jack.

~jacks pov~

Liftibg my hips, my shaft still in her mouth I thrust my dick into her throat, almost feeling her tonsils. I feel her tounge massaging every bit of my skin. My tip almost reaching to her stomach at this point I cum. I can feel her swallowing, impressive.

I pull a special on her as I hide my nose into her pussy, what a slut, a slut only for me.

She arrives and finishes on my face, dumping every ounce of fluid onto my face. I make her lick me clean and I lick her creases dry, leaving her actual holes wet, awaiting for her king to touch her.

“Baby, you can take it can’t you?” I ask her, out of breath already I stand up, I push her down onto her back, in missionary I fall into her. Spreading her legs I grab one and throw it over my shoulder.

Grabbing an extra pillow, I fold it stuffing it under her hips, allowing me to hit her G-Spot. She moan out, the music draining all of her cry’s. She ccleched her pussy onto my dick, closing all of the possible gaps. No air is filling her holes, noting but our cums bonding together, and my cock filling her vagina.

~ur pov~

He stuffs every inch of his cock into me. Jack talks me through it:

“Breathe for me.”

“Come for me, I can’t keep hitting you.”

“You’ve taken it before.”

“You’re such as little whore.”

“Slut”

“I love you.”

“You feel so good”

“You so tight.”

*moaning*

Jack is a horny person, and that’s his personality, I love him for it. He grips I to me and finally finishes his love for me. He pulls out belong up with the inside of his hoodie.

He slides his clothes back on and helps me up, he clings to my side as we head back to the party. My hair is frizzy, the perfect curls that I trwiled in a hot tool for hours are ruined, my shirt is crinkled. My makeup is messy, and I have red bits makes everywhere. Jack just seems out of breathe. But he’s a pretty boy, and he’ll get anything he wants.

We pretend like nothing happened. The party ended when John decided to body shot on Nico- not licking his abs, or taking the shot class for his mouth but performing a dance for us and eating a lemon with eachother. I drove John home and made sure he got to bed alright, by the time we got home Jack was sleeping and Luke had to help me carrru him in the house.

I guess there is no part two to our fun tonight.

[ist4rgirlo]

── 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 - 𝐜.𝐟 : 𝐕

Summary: Being Belly & Steven’s older sibling has it’s pros and cons. protecting them and taking care of them is a must, but do you really have to put their feelings first instead of your own?

Prev ; Next || Conrad Fisher x fem!reader || My blog

Warnings: angst, fluff, talking about panic attacks, swearing, crying (lmk if i missed anything!)

───────────────────────────

It was the morning after the incident — thank god I woke up in my own room now. I was still exhausted, tired from last night. I never thanked that person that helped me last night, I never thanked him.

It was 9 in the morning, I decided to just stay in my room. I can’t face them — I just can’t, how can I? I’m still hurt from it, from what they said to me.

There was a knock on my door. “Come in!” I sat up and looked at the door — It was Steven. “Hey sis, goodmorning” Steven walked towards me, he was holding a plate with food in it. Gosh I love Steven, he was the only one who truly cared.

“Hey Steve” I said, looking up to him — smiling at him. “I got you breakfast” he said, titlting his head. He smiled, raising his shoulders.

I stood up and hugged him. We always had each other even from the start, even when we were little. He understands me and I understand him. That’s what I love about our relationship.

“Thank you, Steve. For everything”

“Ofcourse sis. Anything for you” Steven pulled away, rubbing my shoulders. “So, I heard that you had a panic attack last night. You want to talk about it?” He sat down — asking me to sit down with him. He placed the plate on my lap.

As I started to eat my breakfast, Steven said “It’s okay if you don’t want to, I can understand” looking at me — smiling gently.

I looked back at him “No it’s okay, we can talk about it. Just wanted to ask you, who told you?” He looked down, fidgeting with his fingers. He shouldn’t have asked — he thought.

“Oh uh, it was Conrad”

Ofcourse it was him, he was the one who helped me. He was the one who went up to me last night, at the beach.

“Oh, ofcourse” I said looking at him, I smiled — nodding. He just looked at me waiting for an answer. Waiting for me to tell him what the reason was behind my panic attack.

“It was just too much for me last night. I guess I just exploded. I never meant to yell at mom or Belly, I was just too tired. It was like I was in the middle of everything — it wss my first time having that incident, Steve. I thought I wouldn’t make it.” I told him, plopping down on my bed — sighing deeply, putting my arm over my eyes.

“I am so sorry that happened to you sis, I should’ve been there by your side — defending you, I should’ve followed you.” Steven’s voice was filled with worry, with disappointment. I might’ve struggled a lot last night, he thought.

Hearing the sadness in his voice, I sat up — putting my arms around his shoulder “Steve you shouldn’t be sorry, it’s okay. I’m okay now, don’t worry” I looked at him then I leaned my head on his shoulder while he leaned his head on top of my head.

“I got you always, sis. You know that”

“I do, Steve. I also got you, always. I am so thankful for you”

We stayed like that for a moment until Steven had to go because Laurel was calling for him — he had this thing with Shayla — it was probably about the deb ball.

TIME SKIP

After mopping around in my room and doing god know’s what, I decided to go get ready to go out. I couldn’t stay here in my room all day so I decided to go to the beach and get some fresh air.

As I walk downstairs, I saw Susannah — she was with Belly & Laurel in the living room. “Goodmorning, Y/N!” Susannah greeted me, I greeted her back then walked out of the door — completely ignoring my sister and my mom.

Conrad and Jeremiah were in the living room, playing games. I hesistated between going to him or not but I chose not to go to Conrad just to thank him for last night — it’ll just add fuel to whatever heat is going on between me and Belly. It was best to keep quiet and not say anything.

I went out of the door and went straight to the beach.

For me, beaches have a soothing ambiance that nothing can beat. The earthy and salty scents of the sea breeze. The sounds of the ocean and gulls. It calmed me, it is my way of coping.

“Hi, pretty girl” It was Jeremiah — I looked up to him then I pat beside me, telling him to sit down. “Hi Jere” I said smiling. He sat down letting me lean on him.

He put his arms around me, rubbing my shoulders “How are you? I heard you had a fight with Belly yesterday, they were talking about it earlier.” He said — brows furrowed.

“Interesting, I thought they were over it, I guess not. But yeah, we had a fight yesterday but I’m okay now. I don’t really care anymore” I shrugged — not really wanting to waste my time just thinking about that stupid fight that we had.

Jeremiah chuckled “It’s good that you’re unbothered about it right now. You shouldn’t waste your time on that, enjoy your last week here in Cousins!” I just smiled and nodded. I don’t want to promise him anything, knowing that I already made up my mind.

Jeremiah stood up, offering me a hand “You wanna go get ice cream?” he smiled widely — I nodded, giggling.

“So what you gonna get?”

“The usual”

“Coffee” we said at the same time. Jeremiah made a face, a dirty face.

“Ew” he said, teasing me. “Uh don’t you ever! I never teased you about your obsession with milk” I elbowed him in the stomach, he looked at me chuckling.

“I’m just kidding” he said smiling — wrapping an arm around my shoulder as we walked towards the ice cream shop.

───────────────────────────

It was night now, they were all eating dinner but i’m here in the pool swimming — I didn’t feel like eating, it was too awkward for me plus I was still full from earlier because Jeremiah spoiled me with food too much.

I always loved swimming, ever since I was little. Swimming and the beach are one of the things that I love. Swimming just makes me feel a lot better, it make me keep my mind off of things.

I swam and just enjoyed the coolness of the pool. As I returned to the surface — I saw Conrad, a plate beside him, filled with food. He wasn’t smoking this time, he was just watching me swim.

“Hey” Conrad said, looking at me — smiling. I looked at him, I didn’t want to talk to him — I wanted to ignore, to get away from him. I can’t keep hurting my sister. Why is it so hard?

“Oh hi” I turned around, not wanting to look in his eyes. “Uhm, I got you food” Conrad said, I turned to him — I saw him holding up the plate with my favorite, “I made it” he smiled.

I turned and looked at him — confused, why was he doing this? Belly didn’t tell him that we had a fight? Did no one tell him about yesterday? but it’s impossible, he was the one who helped me when I was having a panic attack — maybe he never asked.

He looked at me, his smile faltered. “Hey what’s wrong? why are you ignoring me?” he asked, his voice laced with worry. “I am not ignoring you, Conrad. I’m just confused why you are here and why you made me that food” I looked at him — disappointment started to fill his face, his heart was slowly breaking.

“Oh, i’m sorry” he said, putting the plate down — looking down. I needed to do this — so he would stay away from me. I had to do it, for my sister, for me.

I swam to him — still keeping distance. “You don’t have to say sorry, I guess they just never told you what happened yesterday.” Conrad tilted his head, confused about what happened tomorrow.

“Well I never really asked.”

“Even though you saw me have a panic attack last night?”

“Yeah, it was your business. I didn’t want to just butt in it. I respect your privacy too” Conrad looked at me with his gentle blue eyes.

How can I stay away from him when this is how he cares for me?

“Me, my mom and Belly fought yesterday” I said before swimming away from him.

Conrad stood up, “What? Why did you guys fight?” his voice laced with concern, his brows furrowed — his lips started to frown.

“Well, Belly saw me getting out of your room yesterday” Conrad frowned, his shoulder slumped. Why were you the only one that Belly yelled at — he thought. Why did you have to take the blame?

Conrad’s heart was beating so fast, he wanted to hurt himself. He never wanted this, for Belly and Laurel to accuse you of something you didn’t do. “I am so sorry, Y/N. I-I should’ve been there for you, I should’ve defended you. I should’ve taken all the blame”

“Conra-“

“No… no it was all my fault. I shouldn’t have taken you to my room, now.. now Belly and Laurel is mad at you. I am so fucking sorry, i’m so stupid. Fuck!” He sat down, his head was in his hands. His face filled with frustration. He could’ve taken all the blame — he thought, it was his fault afterall.

I swam all the way to him, my hands on his knees. “Conrad it’s okay, breathe. I’m okay now, everything will be alright. Soon” I took his hand and removed it from his face, I caressed his face and wiped his tears.

He started to lean in but I backed away — I know where this was going — that’s what I thought but in his mind, all he wanted to do was hug me, was to be close to me because it felt like he was losing me, like he was going to lose me.

“Soon?” He asked — I swam all the way to the end of the pool and got out of the pool, he stood up — walking towards me, giving me a towel from the chair.

“I’m planning to go back home tomorrow.” I said, turning to him — we were now face to face. He looked at me with his brows furrowed.

“What? Why?” He said trying to reach for my hand but I pulled away. “It’ll just make things easier, Conrad. For everyone, for me.” I said looking up at him.

I had to stay away from him, this was the only way — was to go back early. I wanted to stay here in Cousins, I wanted to stay with Susannah but I just can’t. I can’t enjoy my last week here when all I can think about was about was him and Belly, together.

“You.. you don’t have to do that y/n. Please just stay, mom would want you to stay. I would never go near you again if that was the only reason why you wanted to go back home.” Conrad was panicking — trying to convince me to stay because he knew that whenever I was here, I never wanted to go back home. This time was different.

I looked at him, holding his shoulders gently, “Conrad, I have to do this. It would be easier for me to focus on college.” he pulled me closer and hugged me, his head was on my shoulder.

“I don’t want you to go, I don’t want to wait another year just to see you”

“Please Conrad. Let’s not make this hard for the both of us”

“It’s our last week, just please… please stay” Conrad pulled away, holding my shoulder gently — looking at me in the eyes.

I pulled away, I took my towel and started to walked towards the door. This conversation wouldn’t go anywhere, I don’t think anything can change my decision.

I went inside the house — I saw all of them in living room, Conrad was right behind me. Belly was about to stand up and walk towards me, probably to yell at me again because i’m with Conrad.

“Belly, come on. Stop it” Conrad looked at Belly, stopping her on saying anything bad. Belly looked at him — confused and mad because Conrad was defending me. “Nothing happened, I just talked to her so stop.” Conrad looked at everyone, making sure Laurel heard him too. He walked towards the couch and sat beside Steven.

“I’m planning on leaving tomorrow.” I said, as I walked towards the kitchen to get a drink. Jeremiah stood up from the couch after hearing me say that, “You’re leaving? why? it’s too early plus we’re leaving sunday, just stay.” he said walking towards the kitchen, grabbing me

I shrugged, “Just thought it would make things easier for everyone” I looked down, trying to stop myself from crying. I dont want to leave but they’re making it hard for me to stay.

“Oh special girl, do you really want to do that?” Susannah asked, her eyes filled with worry. She didn’t want me to leave but she didn’t want to push me into something I didn’t want to do.

I looked at her and nodded, “College is coming soon so I need to focus on that.” Laurel looked at me, she knew what the real reason was, she knew I was tired. She knew that I had to get away from her, from Belly, from all the problems.

Belly sat down beside Conrad then leaned her head on him “Well.. do you want me to help you pack?” she asked, looking at me. I looked at her, surprised that she’s talking to me.

“No, It’s alright. I already started packing earlier so I don’t think I need any help.”

“Oh uhm okay, I guess we’ll just see you when we get home?”

I just nodded before going upstairs to shower. I went in my room first to get my clothes then went straight to the bathroom to clean myself. I can finally let my feelings out.

I sat in the bathtub and cried and cried until I had no more tears to shed. In spite of the fact that I was on my last day here, Laurel did not seem to care at all, it hurt me to receive this type of treatment. However, I made the decision to leave early on my own. I must endure the pain, I must endure the suffering but it's okay , the pain will be over soon, it’ll be over tomorrow — I thought. I’m going to be alright.

───────────────────────────

It didn't occur to me that Steven was having a difficult time as well, I thought I was the only one having a hard time. As I was crying in the bathroom, I did not realize that he was also crying outside listening to me cry — he was crying because I was crying. The reason he was crying was because he did not know what to do, what to say to me in order to keep me. He knew that no one would ever be able to change my decision. All he wanted was to spend time with his family, with Susannah, Conrad, and Jeremiah. Why did it have to be like this?

───────────────────────────

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i honestly don’t know why it’s not letting me tag some of you guys :((

i hope you guys enjoy this chapter !! there one or two more chapters then its done :<<

thank you everyone for the love !! lmk if you want to get tagged and if you guys have any requests !!

[roosterr]

Do you have any specific headcanons for Nik?❤️

i'm so glad you asked anon, of COURSE I DO!!! >:) here is a random collection of headcanons for our beloved pilot, i hope you enjoy <3

let's start with the obvious; this man is a humongous flirt, and he is BOLD, if he likes you, you will know about it. he wants to see you a flustered mess because of him, he will take literally ANY opportunity to call you beautiful/handsome etc. just to revel in the way it effects you. and if you flirt right back? perfect, the two of you could go back and forth for HOURS (if yk what i mean ;))

leading on from this, i think he's a very open person, he will say what he's thinking and feeling with no reservations. he doesn't embarrass easily, so some of the things he'll say to you may have others groaning and telling the two of you to get a room, but he'll just wrap an arm around you and grin, "no complaints from you though, right милая?"

when the two of you are alone, he's the softest man on planet earth. i hope you like cuddling, because he LOVES it, when you're relaxing he'll rest your head on his shoulder or his chest, his arm securely around your shoulders. you cannot escape once he has you in his grasp.

on the topic of love languages, i picture him being an acts of service and physical touch kind of guy. he loves doing things for you, from getting you a glass of water when you ask to carrying around extra ammo for you, he will do it all. and as previously mentioned, he adores having any kind of physical contact with you, even if it's something as small as hooking your pinkies together. truly the perfect man.

he's very protective of the people he loves, the same way he loves his country and would do anything to protect it. he will put himself between you and any danger, make you walk on the inside of the sidewalk, walk you home or to your car when it gets dark out, the whole nine yards

this man can and will throw hands for you. look, it's no secret that his moral code is less than pristine, he kidnapped a mans wife and son for gods sake, he's more than willing to fight for you.

he's a captain - it's technically a hc since his wiki doesn't say his rank anywhere, but since he's around the same age as price (technically another hc), and he's the leader of chimera, i'm taking the liberty of assuming.

ass man. no i will not elaborate.

i know in my heart that this man does NOT take good care of his hair. he uses 73 in 1 shampoo and somehow still has the most luscious hair of all time. it doesn't make any sense and i am mad about it.

he has an absurdly good memory. you mentioned a food you really like once in an offhand comment 7 months ago? he buys it for you every time he passes a place that sells it. you mention a family birthday party you recently attended, he looks you in the eyes and goes "your mothers cousins sons kid? how old are they now, 9?"

in the same vein, literally human gps, like this mans has never and will never be lost in his entire life. you could drop him in the middle of the wilderness and he'd find his way back in time for dinner

at the risk of being slightly contradictory, i think that when he's off duty or on leave just living life as a civilian, he's actually a pretty introverted guy. something about being in his element, doing what he knows best in the heat of battle just brings out a different side of him; and of course he's a captain, so when he's at work he gives people orders and becomes the perfect leader. but when he's at home he's quieter and keeps more to himself - no matter where you are though, in the middle of an active warzone or just chilling in your home, he always showers you with as much love as he can.

[asmutwriter]

Just A Woman (Part 1 Section 4)

DESCRIPTION: Inviting Benedict back to your place so he can get a taste of your lifestyle

A/N - I have condensed partr 1 (which you can find here) into 4 smaller chunks so that you can have a better reader experience

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

WORD COUNT: 5121

From beginning / Previous / Next / Master List

WARNINGS: Swearing, mentions of prostitution, time period sexism, mentions of sex work, smut, dom Benedict, sub reader,

DISCLAIMERS

- I wrote this in my knowledge of sex workers and I am truly sorry if I got it wrong and/or is offensive, that is not what I wanted to do and I’m sorry if that is the case

-  This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

“Welcome to my home” you go over and open the door “I’m back! I brought a friend with me as well” you say as you see the 3 oldest in the living room. Benedict walks in behind you, looking round the room. Daisy looks at you and then the man. Raising her eyebrow at you as he looks around. You look at her “what?”

“Oh nothing” he smiles at the girls.

“Where are your sisters?”

“Outside” you go out and call for them. They all run in and hug you within seconds. You hug them back and smile. You motion 

“This is Benedict Bridgerton. These are my friends. Daisy who’s the oldest. She’s 15. Jasmine who is 14. Sofia is 12. The twins, Rebecca and Heather who are both 9 and then Katherine who is 3″

“I want to show him” Sofia announces, taking his hand. Dragging him to the kitchen. Jasmine goes and holds his other arm. You go to say something but he shakes his head at you slightly

“It’s alright” he says softly to you as the two middle children show him your small home. The twins following behind them. You feel a small body hug at your leg, looking down you see the youngest. You pick her up and kiss her head. 

“Tours done. Now what?” 

“Games!”

“Oh yes!”

“Isa please?”

“I want to play games!”

“Oh yes a game would be fun!”

“Wow you guys calm down. Let’s let our guest decide what he wants to do shall we?” you calm them all, as Daisy announces loudly

“We could always show him our play we’ve been practicing”

“Oh no he won’t want to see that” you say as you’re interrupted by people again

“Yes we can get a boys opinion on it”

“Oh please can we show him the play?”

“It’s such a fun thing as well”

“Please, please, please!” they all exclaim loudly as you shush them again. He chuckles as he sits down. 

“A play sounds wonderful” you look at him

“Why did you have to say that...? Ok play it is then” all the girls squeal as they start running around happily. “You are going to regret saying that so much. It’s embarrassing” he laughs 

“It makes them happy though” you nod and smile slightly as he smiles at you. 

“It’s short as well, just so you’re warned”

“Isa stop chatting and get in position!” Rebecca almost yells at you. You chuckle as you all get into position. He smiles and watches, interest sparking in his eyes. Sofia goes out onto the ‘stage’, bowing as he watches

“Welcome one and all to this year’s finest show. Today we embark on the circus. A tale of heartbreak and love awaits” she dramatically says as he claps as she exits the stage. They all go on, saying various lines. Some of the younger ones forgetting so you having to speak for them. Others speaking to early so needing to repeat lines. But overall it is (an intentionally) comedic and fun experience for you all. He claps as you all go out and bow on the stage. 

“We hope you enjoyed that, sir” says one of the twins. He nods

“I enjoyed it thoroughly” she giggles at his words and hides in your leg “I’m especially impressed that Isabella managed to hold the child the whole time. Even during the dramatic dancing part” you laugh as you hug the youngest child close to you. 

“Goodness it’s late. I should prepare some dinner. Can you guys entertain yourselves for a short while?” they all nod and go into the kitchen to grab plates “What time do you have to leave today?”

“I told my family I had some things to do outside the house so they won’t mind me going back later”

“Do you care to join us for food?” he smiles

“I’d be honoured” you nod and go prepare some food, him coming in and joining you as he watches the kids running and playing with each other “How long have you lived here?”

“It used to be their mothers house” he nods and looks at you, a smile forming as you cook some food. Heather comes over

“Can I help cook?” you nod

“Yes you can my sweet” you grab a stool for her to stand on, “cut the potatoes for me” you smile as she carefully peals them and places them into a pot. About an hour goes past and you all sit down. Food given to each of them. Eating them all you see Daisy look at Benedict

“What’s it like?”

“What is what like?”

“Living in such luxury”

“It has its ups and downs”

“Leave our guest alone. I’m sure he doesn’t wish to be bombarded with questions” she nods 

“Did you get to dance Isa?” Jasmine asks you and you nod “did all the girls looks like princesses and the boys look like princes?” you nod again as she smiles

“It looked like straight out of a fairy-tale. It was almost magical” she giggles

“Can you teach me how to dance?” Sofia asks.

“I can try. I’m sure Mr Bridgerton can agree when I say I’m not very good at it” he chuckles slightly

“I don’t know. Considering you’ve never been to a ball before I’d say you did pretty well”

“You flatter me” Daisy looks at you 

“I’ve been reading more of my book today”

“Oh yeah?” she nods and smiles “what’s it about?”

“Two people who don’t realise they are made for each other until he goes off to war and she realises she can’t live without him”

“Sounds depressing”

“Oh it’s wonderful. The end of the book is her travelling to where he’s posted and she runs to him and kisses him. Saying just the nicest line”

“Let me guess. ‘Oh my love I could never live without you. You are the air that I breath and without you I feel like I’m suffocating’“

“No. Ok maybe slightly like that. But when you say it it just sounds obnoxious” you laugh at her words 

“I just say it how it is meant to be read”

“You weren’t joking when you said you disliked them, huh?” the man laughs as you all continue eating and chatting. As night begins to fall you put all the children to bed. Going into the living room to see Benedict looking at a drawing that’s placed on the wall. 

“Sofia drew that” you go over to him

“She’s very good”

“I know. She refuses to believe it though. Claiming she can never get hands right. I told her to just draw the characters with their hands hidden beneath clothing or behind their backs but she said it looked unauthentic that way” you go and sit down. Seeing the book that Daisy spoke about earlier. You pick it up and open it. “‘When I think of thee my palms sweat and my knees go heavy. I fear to be in your presence may be the death of me for I love thee so’. Yep, it’s as bad as I thought it would be” he laughs and goes over to you, sitting by your side and taking the book from your hands. Flicking to a new page he reads

“’I know truly I am in love as my heart skips and butterflies fly when I see you standing in the sunrise. I love you and all your imperfections, though there are few to count. My heart yearns for you as I cannot imagine my life without you by my side’” you watch him reading. 

“How do you make it not sound like absolute shit?”

“I read it the way it’s meant to be read” you glare at him as he flicks through the pages “looks quite good” you nod and watch his eyes scan the words. You take in a sharp breath and look away as he looks towards you.

“Can I help?”

“No” He chuckles slightly and goes back to read the book. You turn to look at him again as he reads out loud

“‘I asked for your name but when you spoke I didn’t hear the words. My body was too bewitched by your beauty to focus on the sweet softness of your voice’” you shift slightly in your seat, his voice sending waves straight down to your core. You bite the nail of your thumb as he notices your slight irritated nature. “Are you ok? You seem... unwell” you shake your head and look away

“I am very well thank you” he places the book down and turns to you. Scanning your body to see if you are lying. He meets your eyes as you look at his lips quickly before meeting his gaze again. He smiles slightly. You bite your lip, leaning towards him and placing your hand by his leg as you lean slowly closer. His eyes watching you. You take his non retreat as a sign for you to carry on as you place your lips to his. Embracing each other in a soft kiss. You pull away and go to sit back up straight “sorry I-” he shakes his head and places a hand either side of your face, pulling you in for a kiss once again.

You still remain balanced on one hand, the other going and placing it over his. You feel him lightly push you with his body so your back is on the sofa. You wrap your legs around his waist as you keep kissing, a hand going to his hair and the other going onto his upper arm. With his hands on the arm of the sofa either side of your head, he pulls away, smiling at you before he kisses your jawline, then your neck, lightly tugging at the top of your dress so he can place light kisses to the tops of your chest. You rut your hips slightly into his as one of his hands trails down the side of your body. He pushes your dress up slightly, lips still attacking your chest as he strokes your thighs with his hands. Just as you feel his hand start to move higher you both hear a noise from the bedroom. You both pause. Waiting for any other noises to happen. You hear footsteps start to walk towards the door as you feel him get off of you as you sit up and pull your dress down. Jasmine walks out. “Hey my dear” you smile at her, trying to be as innocent as you can. She smiles and tiredly waves at you

“I wanted some water” you nod and stand up, going to the kitchen to fetch the young girl a glass. You give it to her as she smiles

“Go back to bed my dear” she nods and hugs you quickly before walking back to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. You stand in the middle of the room as he sits. You hear him let out a slight chuckle as you glare at him but smile. “It’s not funny. We almost just ruined a poor girl’s innocence” he nods and puts on a serious face, but you can see the humour still dancing in his eyes. You smile at him and playfully hit his knee. He laughs as he stands up, making you catch your breath as he stands closer to you then you thought he would. “It’s late” you say as you look at him. Eyes meeting yours. 

“It is”

“You should be getting home to your family. They will worry otherwise” your voice no more than a whisper. He nods and takes a step closer to you. Taking one of your hands in his he kisses it, still holding it when he stands up straight again. You smile as he makes eye contact the whole time. “I am happy for you to stay the night if you wish?”

“You are right I should be getting back” sadness fills you slightly as he drops your hand, missing his touch already. 

“You could always say that it got too late for you to walk back so you stayed in an inn or friends house?” he nods slightly, he takes hold of your chin with his thumb and finger, placing a kiss to your lips again. You feel yourself practically melting into him. He pulls away and looks at you, thumb lightly tracing your bottom lip as he smiles

“I could get lost if I left at this hour” you nod

“I will walk you back tomorrow. I know where the house is but in this light I fear we may not find the way” he nods as he removes his hand. 

“Where will I sleep though?”

“Shit...” you trace a hand through your hair as you laugh slightly. “I would say you could sleep in my bed and I’ll take the sofa but I don’t think the girls would appreciate you staying in there with them”

“I’ll take the sofa then” he smiles at you as he goes over to the sofa, placing a cushion at one end. 

“Give me a second” you go into the bedroom and quietly grab the blanket from your bed. Handing it to him as you shut the door again. “To keep you warm” he nods and takes the item. You go into your room to grab your nightdress, taking off your day clothes and placing the softer material on your body. You then go back into the living room, shutting the door behind you as you see he has taken off his top half, lying them down on the chair near him. “Good night Mr Bridgerton”

“If you’d like-” he speaks up before you leave “you could keep me company out here. An extra person might be good for body heat. Especially as you don’t have a blanket on your bed anymore” he looks at you. Your eyes scan his chest as you look at his face. “You can say no” you shake your head

“So long as you’re sure you want me out here” he nods and smiles at you. You nod then and go over to the sofa. He lies down, taking your hand and lying next to him. He places the blanket over your bodies. You face each other as you feel one of his arms go around your torso. 

“Come closer. Otherwise you may fall off” he pulls you towards him, chests becoming flush with each other. You shyly look away from him, eyes going to see his broad chest. Your hand lightly tracing over where his heart is. You feel his free hand move to your chin again, making you look at him before you kisses you. Moving the hand to behind your head as he pulls away, smiling at you “good night, miss” you nod as you watch him shut his eyes. You place your head near his collarbone, shutting your eyes as you take in his scent. Slowly drifting off to sleep.

Considering you were sleeping on a sofa you stay sleeping until you feel a light tap on your shoulder. Waking up you see Katherine looking at you. She smiles at you and lightly pokes your nose causing her to giggle. You chuckle slightly, feeling the arm around your waist tighten. You must’ve turned in the night as Benedict is now spooning you. You put your finger to you lips in a shushing motion at the young girl. Carefully getting off the sofa, covering the man with the blanket as you go into the bedroom to have a quick wash and dress into your everyday clothes. You and the young girl are the only ones awake, seeing as its 6am. You whisper to her “What do you want to do until the others wake up?” she smiles and strokes her hair

"Princess hair” you nod and chuckle, starting to French braid her hair. Tying the ends with 2 pieces of pink ribbon. You kiss the top of her head as she starts to dance around the room. Sitting on the floor by the sofa as she dances. The man on the sofa mumbles in his sleep causing the young girl to stop, looking at him. She walks over, you can see evil (well evil for a 3 year old) in her eyes as she goes to wake him. You grab her 

“Let’s get you dressed shall we you little terror?” she nods and smiles, giggling into your shoulder as you carry her to the bedroom, quietly getting some clothes and then taking her into the living room again. Checking to make sure your guest was still asleep, you help her get dressed. “Why don’t you go out and get me 2 eggs” she nods slightly and holds up 2 fingers. You nod and smile “Clever girl” she giggles and runs off. You figure that’ll give you 5 minutes. You rub your eyes, just wanting to curl up and go back to sleep. 

“Good morning” you hear a voice behind you

“Jesus you scared me” he laughs as he sits up, blanket falling onto his lap. 

“How long have you been awake?” he asks, stretching as he looks at you

“About half an hour. You should get some more rest” you motion at him to lie back down “If Katherine sees you’re awake she’ll keep terrorising you until her sisters wake up” he laughs and shrugs 

“I’m ok with that” he moves his feet to the floor, grabbing his shirt and placing it over himself. 

“I hope we didn’t wake you” he shakes his head

“No, you are fine” he smiles and looks at you “About last night”

“I apologise. It was entirely my fault. I know it is not proper for you and I’m very sorry if I caused you any sort of hardships” he nods slightly, watching your eyes dart away from him.

“None at all. I was going to say the same things to you” you both laugh slightly. You hear movement from the bedroom, Daisy walking out. She waves at you as she yawns

“I thought I heard voices”

“Sorry dear, did we wake you?” she shakes her head

“No, Sofia and the twins were sad because you didn’t come to bed last night so we all cuddled up. But it meant I was very uncomfortable all night” she looks at you, then at Benedict. Giving you a knowing look before she smiles at him “I’m glad to see you stayed last night. I feared you might go home and get lost”

“Yes. Your friend is a great host and offered me to stay here”

“Yeah I bet she did” you hit her leg slightly

“Bloody cheek!” she smiles at you and then goes over and picks up her book. She sits down on the sofa next to the man, opening to the page she last left off and starts reading. Just as the youngest runs in holding two eggs. You take them from her “thank you. Why don’t you sit and let Daisy read to you for a while? Just until the others wake up. Then I will make us all something to eat” she nods and climbs onto the sofa, sitting by her eldest sister as she begins to read aloud. You go into the kitchen, cleaning up the bowls from last night’s feast. Your guest joins you, leaning against the counter tops as he watches you scrub the bowls and plates. You feel him come next to you

“Let me help”

“Oh no don’t feel like you have to help”

“I insist” he takes the wet bowls and grabs a clean cloth, beginning to dry them. You carry on washing, handing them to him to dry. You accidently splash some of the water onto him.

“Did you just?”

“Oh god sorry” you cover your mouth in an effort not to laugh. He chuckles

“I think you did that on purpose” you shake your head

“I didn’t I promise” he puts his fingers into the bowl of water and flicks his wet fingers at you. Causing you to get water on your face. You pretend to look offended

“It was an accident I promise” he laughs as he continues drying. You glare at him before washing again. Finishing up, you both go back to the living room. You notice the twins have now both woken up and are sitting and listening to their sister who is still reading.

“I will go and start preparing breakfast soon” you say, the children all nodding and muttering various yeses at you. Daisy stops reading for a second

“Are you working today?” you pause for a moment before nodding. 

“Yes. Although we got some money from John I still need to keep up working there. Hopefully we can get some more farm animals and start selling their produce though” she nods and continues reading. You turn back to the kitchen. Benedict grabbing your arm before you leave.

“I can help you if you’d like” you shake your head and go into the kitchen, him following as you now prepare small meals on the now clean plates.

“How would you help me?”

“I could give you money”

“No thank you. I’m perfectly ok working there”

“But don’t you want to leave. Do something else with your life?”

“Yes. I’d love to. But I want to do it on my own. I don’t want to borrow money from you as I’d still need to work there to be able to give you the money back”

“And what if I just gave it to you? What if I don’t want to be payed back?”

“I don’t need pity money”

“It wouldn’t be pity money”

“Then why?” you stop what you’re doing and look at him “Why would you do that? If it’s not for pity, if it’s not a loan. Why else would you do it?”

“Because I’m your friend” you look shocked at his words, avoiding his eyes you speak quietly

“If you want to have sex with me you don’t need to pay off my house...” he shakes his head

“I want to give you money because I’ve come to know you. I want to help you because I care for you. I’ve seen you with my sisters and brothers. Plus your friends. You seem so happy and truly content with life but as soon as money or work is brought up you retreat emotionally from the situation. You are my friend and friends help each other out. I don’t want anything else from you, only to know you’re happy” you look at him, you feel tears start to prick at your eyes

“I can’t allow you to do that. Imagine if it got out that you were paying a random prostitute. It could ruin you and your family’s name. I couldn’t do that to you” he nods as you serve breakfast onto plates, taking them out for the children. “Would you all be ok if I walk this gentlemen back to his house?” they all look at you, then him, then you again and nod. 

“You’re coming back after, right?” you nod

“I work later tonight so you have me until after dinner” she smiles as you grab a jacket, waving goodbye to them as you and the man start to walk back to the rented house. A comfortable silence settling between the two of you. You walk down a path and then some woods, stopping when you get to a field. “The house is just over this field. It isn’t far”

“Are you not going to walk me all the way home?”

“Possibility of being seen with me alone? Defiantly not” you smile at him as he looks across the field. “It’s been a pleasure meeting you Mr Bridgerton. I’ve enjoyed every second of it” you bow to him slightly. He looks at you, eyes scanning your body. You can’t tell what emotion he’s feeling. It almost seems like a mixture of sadness and lust. He meets your eyes with his, smiling softly at you. 

“Yes I suppose we will be unlikely to see each other again” you nod, for some reason you feel sad about him leaving. He walks over to you, placing a hand either side of your face, just like had done the night before. You look at him, eyes meeting yours as you just look at each other. You place your hands over his wrists, squeezing them slightly as you smile at him. He kisses you, gently. So very gently. You feel yourself melt into him. All your sense are focused on him. Just him.

He kisses you harder, pushing you against a tree. You move your hands, holding onto the wood as your lips stay entangled with his. His hands still hold your face as he goes closer to you. Your hand goes to his waistband, pulling onto it as a means to bring him closer to you. With how close he is to you it would not be surprise you to see an imprint of yourself on the tree behind you. He pulls away, resting his forehead on your shoulder. One of the hands from your face going to your waist. You take the hand by your head and kiss the palm. 

“You need to go back to your family” he lifts his head and nods, eyes once again meeting yours. “Or...” you wrap both your hands around his, making all the fingers go down but the pointer as you kiss the tip of the digit. His eyes eating you up as you watch him “You could stay here for a few minutes more...?” you put the finger in your mouth. Sucking on it as you release it with a slight pop. The distance between you hasn’t moved at all and you feel him start to grow in his trousers.

You smile at him and interlock your hand with his. “What do you say, sir?” he lets out almost a growl at the last word. Kissing you again but harder. A lot harder. He grips your waist with his hand, the other rests against the tree behind you, your hands still firmly clasped in its grips. Essentially pinning you. You feel his hand pull up the skirt of your dress, just enough for him to get his knee under the fabric and place between your legs. He pushes your waist down as he puts his knee up. Causing you to moan when his leg touches your clothed core. He leans close to your ear, you shiver when you feel his breath on you neck.

“I want you to fuck yourself on my leg...” he pulls away and smiles at you as you look at him in slight shock “Do I have to repeat myself?” you shake your head, starting to grind onto his leg. You start to moan as you feel your clit being rubbed. You cover your mouth with your hand. He shakes his head and takes it in his, putting both your hands into one of his and pinning them above your head. You continue to ride his thigh, moans leaving your mouth. He notices your hips start to lose their rhythm slightly as you near your high, your legs starting to close together as well. “You need my permission to cum. If you cum without it you’ll be in trouble” you nod, continuing to grind against him you feel your high coming.

“Pl-please”

“Please what?”

“Wanna cum...”

“Hmm I don’t know”

“Please let me cum. Please. F-fuck” you say as you feel it getting closer. His dominance turning you on more and more. He shakes his head and stills your thighs “Please!” you practically cry out, trying move your hips in hopes to reach your high again. You look at his eyes. He smiles as you feel him move his hand, undoing his trousers and pushing them down he smiles at you

“I want to feel you cum on my cock” he kisses you, a reassurance to you that he will allow you to reach a climax but not yet. You feel his knee move, being shortly replaced by his tip. You moan as he brushes over your clit and then your hole. Slowly pushing in, he watches your face as it scrunches up with joy. 

“You feel s-so good sir” you moan out, loving the way he fills you up. He kisses your neck, using his free hand to lift one of your legs so its bent, making his cock go deeper into you. You let out a sinful moan as he starts to thrust. Softly at first but becoming more aggressive within minutes. You want to wrap around him and kiss him as he pounds into you but he has a firm grip on your hands still so you are unable to move virtually at all, making you only be able to moan and put your head back. He takes this opportunity and starts kissing your neck, causing you to moan louder as you feel him kissing, sucking and biting the soft skin. You feel your high approach once again. “I’m gon- please can I cum?” you feel him smile into his skin

“Hold it a little longer” he removes his hand from your wrists as he takes a hold of your hips, allowing him to go harder and deeper into you. You moan and wrap your arms around his neck, a hand entangling in his hair as you pull him in for a passionate kiss. “Please. Sir please. Let me cum” you beg him

“Cum for me” he watches as you let go, hand gripping his hair tightly, the other his shoulder as he groans as your pussy tightens around him. He continues to pound into you, chasing his own high. Not long after yours he pulls out, releasing himself onto your leg. You let out a slight moan as you come down from your climax. 

He rests his forehead against yours, shutting his eyes as you both control your breathing. Your eyes flutter shut, enjoying the noise of your now heavy breathing filling the once quiet woods. You feel him move, cleaning up you and then himself as best as he can, pulling your dress down and his trousers up before kissing you. You wrap your arms around him, holding him close to you. “I need to go” you nod and kiss him once more. Pulling away and letting your arms go to your sides

“I’m going to miss you, Mr Bridgerton”

“And I you” he smiles at you before walking towards the house. Leaving you on your own.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making enough noise to wake my roommate up?

for context my roommate and i are both in our early 20s, and we live in a two bedroom apartment with thin walls

i wake up naturally around 9 am, im lazy so i tend to stay in bed for a while after waking up lol but i usually am out of bed and in the living room/kitchen starting my day by 10. my roommate works early shifts 3 or 4 days a week, so she usually sleeps in late on the days that she doesn't work early. i do my best to be quiet in the morning so i don't wake her up, but the floorboards creak and my coffeemaker can be a little loud so i may wake her up sometimes, but as far as i know she doesnt mind the little sounds

but she sleeps in past 1 pm on some days. i have no issue with her sleeping in, but by the time noon hits i stop making an effort to be quiet. sometimes i turn on the tv or play a video game, not to intentionally wake her up but just because i want to watch tv. i try to keep the volume low, but like i said earlier the walls are thin

she gets upset that i wake her up, but it annoys me that she wants me to be silent in my own home in the middle of the day. i hate being woken up so i understand how she feels, but i feel like at a certain point its ridiculous to expect me not to make noise when shes sleeping until the afternoon. aita?

[ateez-himari]

[241023] ATEEZ ANNIVERSARY

[NEW MESSAGES FROMM HIMARI]

[AM 9:31] 9 has made 1 team for 6 years now ♡ The most important years of my life were spent with these wonderful people I hope we can stay on this path forever. Congratulations ATEEZ, let's celebrate many achievements and hard work! 🍾✨️

[AM 9:32] After he fought for me during the last elimination stage, Hongjoong oppa promised he would never give up on me no matter how hard things got

[AM 9:32] We were already producing together pre-debut, and when our only laptop was stolen he would make sure I fell asleep if re-recordings ran too late by lying about the fact that we were done for the day, then he would keep going on his own

[AM 9:33] The members always silently took care of me too, even when I thought that I was strong enough to stand on my own two feet they held my hand because they knew me better than I knew myself at the time

[AM 9:34] There were so many nights where I couldn't sleep because I thought we wouldn't succeed because of me. I was so scared to even go out on stage because of the possibility of making mistakes. I kept thinking "why would they pick me ? what if I'm not good enough ? what if ..."

[AM 9:35] Even in the middle of all this I couldn't feel lost, because my home was always right there with them

[AM 9:35] There's a lot of things that I don't have the strength to talk about yet, but I'm so lucky to have them in my life, I love them so much 💕

[AM 9:36] It can be hard for me to put emotions like these into words so I composed a song for them, well about them. None of the members have ever heard it

[AM 9:36] 1 Media Attachment

[AM 9:38] ㅎㅎ It does sound like I'm talking to someone specifically, but that's how it's supposed to be, in that song they're one person, my soulmate

[AM 9:39] Yeah I was the first trainee to join Hongjoong oppa, and even though we never talked much (because of possible bias on the survival show) we saw each other a lot since I slept at the company building

[AM 9:40] I never told Tiny this story ? Our CEO let me live on a futon in the dance practice room until the show officially started and we got a small dorm. In return I helped with cleaning and sometimes errands, but he never really made me do much

[AM 9:41] Yunho oppa is just waking up because he played games all night ㅎㅎ He looks like a really messy golden retriever, I don't even know if his eyes are open

[AM 9:41] Sangie oppa and I have been up since 8:30 this morning, we've just been hanging out on the couch since then

[AM 9:41] Anyway since he's up now I'll text the other members so we can go get breakfast! He's the last person we were waiting on

[AM 9:42] See you soon Tiny, and thank you for staying with us for 6 years, we'll keep making you proud ♡ Love you so much, kisses!

Translated from Korean by Google

[chronicbeans]

Human Illustrator Wally x Reader (Part 9) (End)

Sleepover time!!!

TW: Hallucinations, Depression/Anxiety

🐻 The weekend comes quicker than you expected. Wally brought Barnaby and Julie brought Sally Starlet. THE Sally Starlet. You quickly introduce yourself to them, showing them around the house. You mainly just show them simple things, like where the restrooms are, the kitchen, what's available in the fridge and such.

🐻 Sitting in the living room, you all talk about what to do. Julie excitedly says "WW SHOULD DO MAKEOVERS! That is like... NUMBER ONE on ANY sleepover list!" That doesn't really surprise you. What DOES surprise you, however, is Barnaby agreeing. "Yeah! That does sound pretty fun! I've never had a makeover. Most I've gotten was my nails done."

🐻 Next thing you know, you are having your makeup done by Sally Starlet. She excitedly talks to you, saying "It is so lovely to meet you! Oh! Just call me Sally or Sal, by the way. I am not one for formalities. You are going to look even more gorgeous than you already do, by the end of this!"

🐻 You have a lot of fun getting your makeup done. You do notice, however, that Wally looks rather... upset? Anxious? You don't know what he is feeling exactly, but it is clearly not happy... Then, noticing his quick and slightly frantic way of looking around, you grow even more concerned. Barnaby must've noticed it, too, as he gently pulls Wally aside and into another room.

🐻 For the rest of the night, you don't see the two of them, much. It's mostly just you, Julie, and Sally talking about whatever and doing whatever. Not that "whatever" isn't fun. It really is! From pillow fights, singing contests, to board games... You enjoy your first "real" sleepover a lot, actually! It is just that you are a bit worried about Wally.

🐻 "Sal, did you see Eddie and Frank the other day? They were so cute! They were in Howdy's little cafe area on a date. I saw them chattering away through the window in the most cute display of... CUTENESS!" You look over, a bit shocked. "You know Eddie Dear?" Sal gasps, nodding "Of course! He is actually pretty big in our little circle. Julie met him during... what was it? Middle school or high school?" "High school. He was a fish out of water! I helped him out when it came to socialization. He is so nice! Just a bit awkward."

🐻 Somehow, the conversation quickly moves through each member of the friend group. Of course, nobody is spoken badly of. The most is a polite little tease, followed by a barrage of compliments. When it comes to Wally, though, the whole mood shifts.

🐻 "(Y/N)... You know about Wally's... his hallucinations, right?" Sally asks, clearly treading carefully in case you didn't know about them. Julie tenses, as well, most likely having not thought about the possibility of you not knowing about them. "Yeah, he told me about them. I've been supporting him when it comes to that. I work with some kids who hallucinate, too. It isn't a problem." "Oh, thank goodness! He finally got the courage to let someone know early on... None of us see them as a problem... It's just frustrating to see him set himself up for failure in certain ways, especially regarding that."

🐻 Julie laughs "Exactly. In a more perfect world, he probably wouldn't need to tell somebody about them... but with how widely it can change his mood and such, it is good to know early on. Plus, if somebody doesn't like him because of it, like... SOME people... then they don't deserve him. Isn't that right, (Y/N)?" You nod, shrugging your shoulders "Yeah. Plus, people just gotta be prepared. I'm lucky to be rather educated on such topics. Others may not be, so they need that time to get caught up and figure out how best to help when needed..." You then look around "Have any of you seen Wa- I mean... Mr. Darling?"

🐻 They both shake their heads. You decide to go and search for him. Stepping through each room, you look around for either him or Barnaby. It is a lot quicker than you thought, because you find Barnaby sitting outside your room. You smile, asking "Hey, Mr. Beagle, have you seen Mr. Darling?" He looks up to you, nodding. "Yeah. I hope you don't mind, but he felt a bit overwhelmed. So, we found a random room and chatted for a bit. He went to bed early, putting a sleeping bag on the floor. I only really realized that it was your room after he already fell asleep. You can go check on him, if you want."

🐻 You smile "Oh, it's no problem. I was mostly worried that he might be upset or something. I'll go check on him. Sally and Ms. Joyful are in the living room if you want to go join them." After that, you enter your room to check on Wally.

🐻 He's lying in a sleeping bag on the floor, in front of your bed. The room is dark, except for your little night lamp, which projects small stars on the ceiling. Unlike what Barnaby said, though, he clearly isn't asleep. Instead, he is lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. His eyes are wide, full of fright, which clues you in that he might be seeing something that isn't there. You don't want to assume, however, so you sit next to him and begin talking.

🐻 "Hey, are you okay? Barnaby told me you were asleep, but I just wanted to check to be sure." He keeps his eyes trained upwards, but speaks slowly in response. "Home followed me here... Up there." He points to the ceiling directly above his face, continuing "Home is watching me. It's so rare that I see it... but it decided to show itself tonight, of all nights... I'm sorry to be a party pooper... Hahaha."

🐻 You look up to where he is pointing, seeing nothing but the pretty blue, yellow, and red stars above. You ask "You have no reason to be sorry. Can you tell me what Home looks like? I want to understand a bit better, so I can help better. You deserve help." "It's a large window, with a large eye behind it. It is just watching, tonight, not saying a word. The space around is is dark." "Okay."

🐻 You thing for a moment, before lying down on the floor next to him. "You deserve to be happy, you know that... right?" you ask, waiting for him to respond. He doesn't, causing a small pit to grow in your stomach. You continue talking, hoping to distract him and bring up his morale.

🐻 "You deserve to be happy. Actually, you deserve so much more than that. You deserve happiness, peace of mind, to be loved, and to live. Everybody deserves that, which means that you deserve it, too. No matter what Home or anyone or anything else says, you deserve that. No matter what you believe, you deserve that. I don't know if you believe that at the moment, but if you don't, I hope there is a time in your life when you realize that it is true. It took me a while, but I eventually did, and now my life is a little bit better."

🐻 You look back over to him, seeing that he has closed his eyes. You hear him take a deep breath, in and out, before he opens them, again. He turns his head towards you, a small, weak smile on his face.

🐻 "You'll stay by my side through this, right, (Y/N)?" You won't leave, right?" "I would never dream of it, Mr. Darling." "Call me Wally." "Okay. I would never dream of it, Wally." ... "Thank you."

[miserymerci]

<- Day 9: Storm Day 11: Quest ->

Fluffy February Day 10: Care - Desert Water

Fandom: Lego Monkie Kid

Characters: MK, Sun Wukong, Mei

(Sunburst duo, Jackfruit duo, Samadhi fire, Alternate universe)

Word count: 4347

Summary: (TW: Descriptions of a panic attack) In our original timeline, the Samadhi Fire reforges and almost tears Mei apart. In this timeline, things aren’t much better.

There is little that you can’t steal from people. Money can be taken, for one, and life, for another. While most stolen things are material objects, there is also the intangible; love, happiness, trust …

The downside of taking love, happiness, and trust by force is that they often become broken in the process. If there’s one thing that remains constant in people, it’s their will to bite and scratch and tear when attacked. Broken love is not love, broken happiness is not happiness. It becomes a second, more awful thing not too different from hallucinating an oasis in the middle of the desert.

So, then, broken trust is not trust.

Mei and MK met as children in the midst of a mediocre autumn day. She had begged her parents for fast food, was promptly denied, and then threw a tantrum so bad that they had finally– begrudgingly – found themselves at Pigsy's Noodles for dinner.

Pigsy’s was by no means a fast food place.

So, really, Mei was totally justified in her little five-year-old mind to be upset. She pouted with her head on the counter, stuck her tongue out at the noodles, glared dramatically as her parents ate… what else could a child do to express their feelings? Well, she could always toss the bowl. She wasn’t going to make this easy.

Before she could execute her next plan, MK popped up from the other side of the counter. Mei flinched back in her seat.

“Where did you come from?” asked Mei.

“My room,” said MK, blankly, “I’m Xiaotian. Are you going to eat that?”

Mei blinked. She followed the kid’s finger to her bowl of noodles, and then remembered that she was supposed to be pouting.

“No,” she said, sticking her nose up, trying to see if her parents were paying attention. They weren’t. 

“Can I have it?”

“Why do you want it?”

“Because if you don’t eat it, Pigsy will have to throw it away. And it makes him upset. He cries about it at night.”

Mei frowned, glancing at the chef behind the door flaps of the kitchen. He was weird and scary, but did he deserve to cry? Her inner sympathetic self (annoyingly) jumped out and decided that she didn’t want to go that far. 

She pushed the bowl toward Xiaotian. 

“My dad cries at night. Not about noodles, though,” said Mei after a moment of watching Xiaotian fumble with his chopsticks. “He paints as a hobby, but gets cranky when he can’t get the colors right.”

“Oh! I paint sometimes. With crayons.” 

Noodles fell out of Xiaotian’s mouth as he chewed and talked with his mouth full. Mei was thoroughly intrigued. 

Wordlessly, she handed him a napkin.

“Thanks.”

“You’re making that look really good,” she said.

Xiaotian, for the first time during this conversation, broke his blank expression to smile. It was sort of weird, though, as if he had only attempted it a few times.

“It is. Pigsy makes the tastiest food in all of China.”

Mei wrinkled her nose. She snuck another look at her parents, who were likely chattering on about a future business deal, and then turned back to Xiaotian.

“Are you not hungry?” asked Xiaotian.

“I… Well, I am , but I wanted fried chicken. Not,” she frowned at the peppercorn swirling around Xiaotian’s chopsticks, “ …this .” 

“What’s a fried chicken?” asked Xiaotian through a mouthful of beef. 

Mei’s jaw dropped.

“You’ve never had–! Fried food! Have you ever had french fries before?”

“What do French people have to do with frying chicken?” 

“How do you know what France is but not– this is hard to believe,” said Mei after a moment, “have you lived under a rock ?!”

“Mei!” said her mother, finally turning to look at her. “What are you doing yelling at the chef’s boy? Be more respectful.”

Mei squeezed her hands into fists on the counter.

“We were playing a game,” said Xiaotian, licking his lips, “who could yell the loudest. She’s winning.”

“ Xiaotian ! What are you doing eating the customer’s noodles!?”

Xiaotian actually looked worried this time. He cradled the bowl in his hands and turned to Pigsy.

“Didn’t want you to cry,” he blurted.

“What–”

“I’m full. I was gonna throw it away,” said Mei, crossing her arms, “ without drinking the broth.”

Pigsy gave a full-body shudder. He tightened his hold on his ladle, grumbled under his breath, and then returned to the kitchen. He might have said something about the disrespectfulness of the young these days, but it wasn’t something either of them had remembered. 

When Xiaotian turned back to Mei, she looked deathly serious.

“I’ve never lied to my parents before,” she said, quietly.

“What’s ‘lied’?” said Xiaotian, just as quietly.

“It’s when you say something that hasn’t actually happened.”

“Like a story ?”

Mei shrugged, still awestruck, “kinda.”

“You made a story for me?” asked Xiaotian.

Mei blinked at the boy’s blank expression and laughed . 

“My name is Mei,” she said, “but you probably already knew that from my mom. It’s nice to meet you Xiaotian… but I need to teach you the delicious good-ness of fried chicken.” 

Xiaotian brightened. He glanced down at his half-eaten soup and offered it back to his new friend.

“I will eat fried chicken, but you have to give Pigsy’s noodles a chance. They’re delicious good-ness too.” 

Mei, whole tantrum forgotten, straightened up in her seat with excitement and took the bowl. 

“Thank you. I… here,” she dug around in her pockets before holding out a little, crinkled daisy. “I picked it from our garden this morning. You can have it.”

In actuality, the Dragons grew only fruits and vegetables in their garden. Mei had been given a tiny dirt box of her own just beyond the mangosteen tree on her fourth birthday, and flower seeds that her parents didn’t expect would live to see the next week. 

Xiaotian held the daisy very, very gently. A pool of warmth was drawn from the flower into Xiaotian’s veins; like the cozy bubble bath Pigsy had given him only a few weeks prior. The flower wouldn’t stay fresh and green for anymore than a few hours, but the steady transfer of trust had already taken place.

The flower, early the next morning, would be found as a crispy, burnt vessel, and Xiaotian would catch the worst fever in his existence. Tonight, however, Mei blew on the hot noodles and took a bite.

The three rings of Samadhi spat fire around them; like a wolf with no eyes; like a tiger with no teeth. The most vicious beasts came in a state of deep confusion, like sorrow and hunger and panic. Scared beasts lash out– like sparks? Like fire . There was only fire. It breathed in their lungs and spilled out of their mouths like rotten poison. Fire can’t help but consume. It was in its nature, after all, and many would lose their lives in its blind fury.

Mei, in the middle of it all, held onto Macaque’s wrist like a lifeline; as if he was the only person between Mei and death. 

In a sense, he was. But he was not on Mei’s side. As far as she knew, he never has been– and never would be. 

The fire was roaring. The lights were blazing. Macaque’s hold on her was scalding. The smoke of it all gathered into her nose and tried– cruelly, slowly– to break into her very being. The Samadhi fire… was it coming? Which of these bright lights was it? Did it matter? Would she die? Was she already dead? Could she still fight?

The screams of her friends warbled in the heat. Through blurry vision, she tried her best to keep her eyes on Macaque. As long as she didn’t let go of this beast, he wouldn’t be able to run off to hurt any of the others. If she just could keep holding on… stay brave a little longer . Mei tightened her grip and glared at The Macaque. 

He wasn’t looking at her. His unclouded eye darted around the ritual site with a look so strange that Mei couldn’t stop her heart from dropping. 

Something was going wrong. Something was wrong, and Mei couldn’t do anything .

The fire, deep and dark and merciless, raced past the wailing night sky like a wounded dragon, past Tang, past Macaque, and past Mei.

It struck MK instead.

“No,” whispered Macaque.

“MK!” Tang turned and lowered his hand, but his spell was already in full swing. It sputtered and tolled in a final act of defiance. 

The beam gathered into a golden ball at MK’s chest– and then it burst into flames. 

Macaque dropped Mei. He stepped over her, hesitated, and skidded back from a shockwave of unquenchable fire. It tore apart the ice haunting Macaque’s body. It roared over MK’s cries. It took that cruel, cruel coldness from Macaque and shoved it into Mei’s queasy stomach instead. 

“I was too late,” said someone behind Mei.

She swallowed dryly and begged for the fire to burn her instead. Did she mean that? She didn’t know. She didn’t know anything but the harsh heat and the wild feeling of no control. But now, in the inferno of MK’s painful wails, she could only turn and aim her anger elsewhere.

“What is this?” said Mei, her words wavering. She glared at the Monkey King, who looked between her and MK, frozen. “What did you do to him?”

Monkey King opened his mouth, closed it, then swallowed. 

Mei growled.

“I’m coming, MK!” she tried to shout over the crackling fire (and, probably, crackling bones ). “Stop drop and roll, MK! Drop! Drop !”

She lifted herself up to her feet, prepared to leap, and was barely caught by Monkey King. 

“No,” he said, keeping a firm hold on Mei’s shoulders, “that won’t work . The Samadhi Fire– it’s inextinguishable. Did you forget that part?”

Mei shoved off his hands. 

“I don’t care . We need to help him!”

“You can’t ,” stressed Monkey King, but even he didn’t look very certain of that. His limbs were heavy and his heart shook pathetically in his chest– the words were on instinct, but there had to be a way to wiggle out of this mess (but by all the gods did he feel trapped. Like a scraggy wolf, or an old tiger, or a collared beast). 

“Sun Wukong is right!” called Nezha, his locus petals breaking the others out of their frosty prison just off to the side. “The fire will consume the boy, but it will also consume us if we stay.”

“We can’t leave him!” sputtered Mei. 

“There has to be another way,” begged Pigsy. 

“There are no other ways. We need to leave, if you value your life,” Nezha was saying, but Monkey King was too distracted staring at his shadow.

Macaque stared frightfully back. 

“ You did this!” 

Through an endless heatwave, Monkey King lunged at Macaque and took him by the throat. 

“I– I didn’t! Well– technically – but… ! Ghrr!”

Monkey King dug his nails against Macaque’s skin. He gritted his teeth as another heartbreaking cry came from the fire.

“ Stop !” said Tang. “It wasn’t Macaque who started the ritual. It was me . Uh, well, he did force me to but– but I felt like I had to! I mean right now I’m kind of having second thoughts…! But you have to understand– it was like it was my destiny .” 

Monkey King’s jaw dropped, and Macaque’s would have too if he hadn’t been dropped bottom-first onto the ground. 

“Destiny?” cried Monkey King, stepping toward Tang. “This whole reason we’re here is because of destiny and you thought it would be a good idea to follow it !? Look around! Is this all exactly what you wanted!?” 

Tang flinched. Pigsy turned to glare at Monkey King, fists clenching.

MK wailed. Somewhere in the flames, his legs buckled and stumbled like a newborn. 

“ AAAAUUUUGHHHHHH !!” Another shockwave rippled past the group. The fire, glowing a faint raspberry, churned into a murky red. Whatever battle MK was fighting, he was losing– and quickly. Monkey King lifted his arm and took the brunt of the force, Mei and Macaque behind him. From the other side of the whipping frenzy, Monkey King could see Sandy doing the same. 

“ What is happening to MK!?” 

“The Samadhi Fire– it was supposed to be inside of you , Mei. During the ritual, a piece of it got away from me and took form inside the closest vessel it could find: your great-great– eerr probably a lot of greats– grandfather, Ao Lie.” 

“YOU ARE A FOOL, SUN WUKONG!” shouted Nezha distantly. Monkey King tried to pay him no mind.

“SO YOU WERE GOING TO SACRIFICE ME !?” shouted Mei.

“No! No ! I thought that, maybe, I could have taken it away from you and put it into me– uh, okay, it’s embarrassing just saying this aloud…”

“Ugh! Then how does MK have it? We’re not related!”

“You had it before , but you must have given it away unintentionally! Or something! I… I’m not sure .”

Mei deflated, probably going through every single memory of her and MK together. Had any of them involved an exchange of fire? 

Monkey King hesitated at the mortified look on her face.

“You knew ?” sobbed MK, finally, breaking Monkey King from his trance. His arm curled around his gut. Through the charring inferno, his eyes warbled and twisted in sickening pain. MK was looking at him; afraid, confused, burning from the inside out, and wailed; “ Monkey King ? You knew ?” 

The fire was horrendously loud. MK’s cries, somehow, felt louder. They struck through every crack in Monkey King’s walls and, very suddenly, he realized that there was little he could do to fix this.

He had lost control, with no known way to truly extract the fire, with no way to pull his protege from the flames. How did this happen? How had he overstepped? ( Okay , he overstepped a lot– more than he could ever name– but with the kid ? The only times he had let him slip from his grasp was when he wasn’t paying attention; Macaque, the Lady Bone Demon; but he had been so watchful this time. 

Where had he gone wrong? Where had he gone wrong ? 

It must have been his laziness, somehow. Had he been lazy? Maybe a few times, but it had been harmless. No, not harmless– harmless to him , maybe. Not to…

Oh. Oh, he was losing it. He couldn’t… was he? Could he…? Think…! …

The embers went fuzzy around him. The Samadhi fire howled on and on, deforming into a fierce shriek, like a monster going for his traitorous throat– and then nothing but ringing buzzed through his head… something like underwater, something like space, something like nothing.

MK…! MK… MK… ? 

.

.

.

“Wukong!” someone was yelling. Hot air blew through his fur and left something that sizzled there. It kissed his skin and grabbed his windpipes and held on tight. 

“ Monkey King !” someone else screamed. The thing clenched tighter.

He was breathing too loudly– louder than the chaos, louder than the calls, louder than his stuttering heart. Focus. Focus . His eyes stung from the heat and the shaking world cried with MK’s turmoil.

“I need– Please. Please… Monkey… King..?”

Monkey King blinked. What did he want him to do? MK fought against the whipping blaze; stumble after step, step after stumble. He neared like Earth around the Sun, like a thirsty throat to water, like he couldn’t help but gravitate toward the only thing he knew in a desperate time of need.

Monkey King’s breathing quickened.

The fire burst. Everyone was knocked back further, but Monkey King planted his feet and gritted his teeth. Blackened, burning claws scraped ground and sky and flesh and bone.

Focus ! 

MK was crying. He was looking at him– looking for him– looking not for answers from him, but a secret second thing. Monkey King needed to figure whatever it was now (maybe run, maybe fight, anything but stand dumbly).

“Monkey King,” said Mei, oddly level in the storm, “I don’t know if you can hear me, but it just remembered something.”

Monkey King’s tail twisted.

“When MK and I first met, I had felt a connection between us that I had never felt before. I mean… I had my parents, of course, but that’s a bond that began even before I could really think. With MK, it was all my own. I felt as if every action and feeling was me . I shared with him my trust that day, and I think it may have helped us for the better. Like I could share every piece of me with him. Like it helped lessen the pressure.”

‘I don’t get it,’ Monkey King wanted to say, ‘please spell it out for me. I don’t understand. What is trust? You want me to trust him? How can I trust him any more than I already do? Do I? How do you even show trust?’

What can he do?

‘What can I do?

‘What can I do for you …?’

The heat kissed his face. His company was gone, now, hidden away behind walls of flames that had glazed past him and trapped him in the eye of the storm. It was just him and MK; MK and the fire; and he was frozen. 

MK crashed into Monkey King. The fire reared, wailing in support of MK's weakening will. His knees knocked against Monkey King’s, stumbled, and then ashen hands balled up the cloth at Monkey King’s chest.

He could hear MK’s every growl and grit, now. His body was warm like a fever and his grip tugged at Monkey King’s fur. The fire, deep in his kid, reached out to try to grab him , too.

It lashed and spat and tore and the smell of smoke lingered like a wound. 

Him and MK. Him and MK. And then MK and the fire… the fire…

Them and the fire.

Monkey King breathed it in. The smoke eagerly seeped into his immortal lungs and shuttered. His hand, once frozen at his side, snuck up and untangled MK’s hands from his clothing. He squeezed his hand, and MK struggled to do the same. 

MK was sobbing into his neck. He could hear it in the crackling of the flying sparks. He could feel it in his heated bones. 

‘What can I do for us ?’

And Monkey King had an idea now; an inkling of one, as usual, but instead of starting as a thought, it began as a feeling. Less like he ‘should’, and more like he ‘could’. 

Monkey King’s other hand broke from its daze and wiggled into that little spot where MK was hiding his face. With two fingers, he pressed at the dip in MK’s throat and found his pulse.

It raced and raced like a wildfire. It sparked from MK’s heartbeat. It clung onto Monkey King’s touch. He gritted his teeth as the Samadhi fire darted straight into his body (like an illness, like a bad dream, like a–).

He shook his head and huffed, the fire finally making his composure waver. His belly burned with the beginnings of something destructive. It taunted his resolve.

With another smokey breath, he pulled MK closer. He could do this. He had helped to contain the fire before, how different could it be to contain it in himself?

“I’m sorry we’re in this mess, bud,” he grunted out. “And I’m sorry I froze up like that. But I’m here, and I see how much you trust me to fix this right now.”

MK’s heartbeat quickened, and he keened in fiery pain.

“It’s okay. We’re okay. Shh– shh… Do you feel the fire? Not the burning, aching part of it: its core. Its heart. Do you feel it? It’s lashing out because it doesn’t know where to go. It’s spent most of its life dormant and it’s–” a wave of the Samadhi fire fought against his control of it. Monkey King swayed back and growled “–it’s free now, and it doesn’t know what to do. We have to calm it down– not let it control us.”

The kid sucked in a harsh breath, choked, and then inhaled again. The flames wavered and roared around them, surprised at the attempt of reeling it in. Monkey King imagined that, if he could see MK’s face, it would be tensed up in that determined, brave way of his.

Monkey King focused on MK’s fluttering pulse and then said, “There we go. We’ve got it. Hang on tight. Grab it and don’t let go– pull it close and simmer it to sleep. We’re not on fire, we’re using the fire. It’s ours, not us.”

The fire, mighty and lethal, split at the coals and seeped into Monkey King’s gut. It coiled there like a tired beast, warm from the sun and protective like roots to rain; rain to clouds; clouds to sky. He hung onto the life alight inside of him and onto the life clinging to him. He bit the inside of his cheek and tasted iron and smoke and something strikingly sweet.

MK took the other half of the fire. The wildness of it, suddenly, became so much more bearable. Two little flames that had come from one life with the strange purpose of being destructive reeled into their beings like a sharing of duty.

No, not duty– Monkey King took a deep breath that was full of MK’s bitter hair and felt the fire twinkle and ring inside the both of them– this was a sharing of trust. Proof that they could stand together and achieve a type of care that no forced bond could steal. 

The maroon flames sighed one last tired effort and whisked into nothing.

Monkey King blinked once, then twice, and then took away his hand from MK’s pulse and looped it around MK’s back. His shoulder was wet. MK had been crying there, seeping into his clothes and skin.

“You did good, bud,” he said into his protege’s hair. He blinked away the stinging of his fire-nipped eyes. “We got it. We’re okay now.”

MK shuttered in relief and went limp in his arms.

“Kid!” shouted Pigsy, cutting through the receding smoke first. He reached out and helped Monkey King lower MK to the ground. “Is he alright? What happened in there?”

“Your big blue friend was going to try to charge through the fire after our view was cut off. I had to hold him back,” said Nezha, nearing carefully, as if curious.

Monkey King sighed.

“He’s going to be okay. We were able to calm the Samadhi fire inside of him, but–”

“He still has the fire ?” snapped Pigsy. He pulled back his hand from where it was on MK’s forehead and whirled on Monkey King. “Take it out of him!”

“You saw what happened to him. If you want Wukong to take it out of the kid completely, then let’s go ahead and start the ritual again,” said Macaque.

“What’re you still doing here!?” blurted Monkey King.

Macaque shrugged and averted his eyes from where half of the group was shooting him withering looks. 

“Public space,” he said.

Monkey King felt the fire twist unpleasantly inside of him. The beginnings of anger threatened to kindle the spark, but he took a deep breath and focused on MK’s resting face. 

“I took away half of the fire from him and put it into myself,” he said. Nezha took a step back from him, and he pretended not to notice. “It’s… not a permanent fix to the problem, but no one’s on fire anymore, so that’s an improvement…”

Pigsy sniffled (angrily) at him, but swallowed his words. Instead, he turned back to MK to tend to his lingering fever.

Monkey King’s tail coiled and uncoiled nervously. He felt queasy from the unfamiliar fire inside of him, like he could faint any second and have a long, tremendous nap. He turned the slightest bit to look at Mei, who had come to stand next to him in the calm after the storm.

“You sounded like you knew exactly what to do,” he said.

Mei startled, wiping at her teary eyes before looking up at Monkey King. Her worried face was equal parts concerning and touching, and he hoped to never be the cause of a look like that again.

“Why didn’t you do it?” continued Monkey King, softly. 

Mei shook her head. She almost looked guilty, but one look at MK replaced that hesitance with certainty. She smiled at Monkey King (something he didn’t expect her to do to him after all that ).  

“I just felt it in my gut; that it had to be you to do it. MK already knows that he and I… we’re a team. We can always rely on each other. I just…” she sheepishly crossed her arms (almost hugging herself, almost not), “I needed to know that you would go halfway to him, just like he would go halfway for anyone else here. I needed to know you really– really – cared.” 

Monkey King bit his lip and sighed, “Of course I care.”

Mei laughed, still tense from the aftershock, but friendlier than she was before when she was just about ready to smack him upside the head. They watched MK’s breathing steady out. Pigsy, ever the hovering parent, placed a wet rag (that had been provided by Nezha, fearful of Pigsy’s protectiveness) over MK’s forehead.

“Now that you have the fire,” started Mei again, quietly, “are you going to go after the Lady Bone Demon?”

Monkey King glanced down at his fingertips. He let them twitch with a newfound, blazing energy; one that could combat the everlasting ice haunting his past and future. It was true that he had gotten what he had wanted (albeit only half of it), and it might just be enough to win the war. But it hadn’t got exactly how be planned. Out of all of the ways this could have played out, this one was by far the most mortifying way he dared to imagine.

He pulled his eyes away from his hands and blinked slowly at MK.

“No,” he said, “if we go up against the Lady Bone Demon, it’ll be together.”

[jpitha]

Between the Black and Gray 9

First / Previous / Next

It had turned out that when Tam'itarr said he'd take them along, he didn't mean right this minute. Fen and Ma-ren were gently shooed out of the social club and with their newfound wealth and pins showing their affiliation, send on their way.

As soon as they rounded the corner away from Tam'itarr's place, Ma-ren took the pin off and pocketed it. "Take yours off too, Fen. We don't need to be walking around advertising that Tam'itarr has humans and k'laxi on the payroll. It'll cause trouble for the other refugees.

"Why?" Fen asked, but she did as Ma-ren said and took the pin off.

"Well, for one, Tam'itarr isn't the only gangster here. If someone else decided to cause trouble for us because we were publicly working for Tam'itarr there isn't much he could do... or would do." Ma-ren finished bitterly.

Nodding, Fen continued to walk along. "What do you want to buy with our money first? I was thinking of some nice fabric. Maybe get someone to make us up some new clothes." Fen twirled in place as they walked. "What about a dress?"

"Fen!" Ma-ren's ears flattened. "We're not spending Star one until we figure out what the deal is with it. He gave us more money than you or I see in a decade just out of nowhere. People don't do that. He's either expecting to get it back from us, or expecting us to spend it and get in trouble, get it confiscated, and get it back from the security forces." Ma-ren pointed her finger at Fen. "Don't. Spend. Any. Of it."

"Okay okay, you're no fun." Fen pouted. "So what? Do we go like he said and ask Gord if he needs help?"

Ma-ren sighed. "Yeah probably. We should tell him about Tam'itarr too."

Fen blinked. "But we just told Tam'itarr that Gord was planning on ripping him off."

Ma-ren's ears flicked and her tail swished. "And now we're going to tell Gord that Tam'itarr thinks he's going to get ripped off and to get ready."

Fen turned her head slightly. "Okay, but why?"

Ma-ren stopped walking. She looked around at the crowds. They were being pointedly ignored. "Not here, I'll tell you once we're back home."

The rest of the walk home was uneventful, even though Ma-ren spent the time looking around as they walked. Fen thought she was being overly cautious but knew better than to tell her that. When they got home, Ma-ren bolted the door and turned down the lights while Fen started making tea.

"Why the lights?" Fen came into the living room with two steaming mugs of chamomile tea.

Ma-ren took one. "I want us to speak quietly, and I think this will help. Anyway, we're going to tell Gord in order to play both sides. I want this to all get done and nobody die and things go back to normal. You want an adventure and to make some Stars. Am I wrong?"

Fen looked over her tea. "No-oo, that's mostly right. It feels a little reductive, but right. Life here is so boring. Don't you want to go see the galaxy?"

"No, not really, but I love you and I know you do. I think playing both sides means we can have it both ways. Gord and Tam'itarr are professionals. Gord may not be a gangster - I'm not 100% sure - but he is old, and has probably made more deals than we've head meals. He knows when someone is planning on tricking him, as does Tam'itarr. The way I see it, we're stuck in the middle."

"Because we introduced them?"

"Yes, and because we aren't nearly as experienced as either of them. We're collateral. Expendable."

Fen nodded. "So you want us to become more valuable."

Ma-ren grinned. "Now you've got it. If we become more valuable, we become more likely to live until the end of the month."

Fen put her tea cup down, and sat next to Ma-ren. She put her arm around her and Ma-ren snuggled into her shoulder. "Ma, do you really think they'll kill us?"

"If they have a reason to, absolutely. Tam'itarr needs less of a reason than Gord, but I think both of them are very dangerous and would not hesitate to kill both of us to get what they want. I have a hunch Gord would sacrifice this whole station if it meant he could get his AI cores rebuilt. Tam'itarr at least isn't dreaming that big."

Fen tried to suppress a shudder but failed. "But, Gord is so nice."

"Yes, but he's driven. He has a goal. Fen, we don't know how old Gord is. He could be hundreds of years old, maybe more. He probably thinks of a wait the length of my or your life as an inconvenience."

Fen stared off into the middle distance while she thought of the implications.

"He's also an AI, Fen. We don't know what he's thinking, not really."

"Ma-ren, nobody knows what anyone else is thinking. They can only guess." Station's voice was loud in the quiet room.

Ma-ren squeaked and all of her fur poofed out in surprise and Fen started so hard she nearly jumped out of her seat. "Station! Were you listening in?"

"Yes Ma-ren. How else would I be able to hear you when you ask me for something. I hear everything."

Fen started up at the ceiling. "Everything?"

"Everything Fench-- I mean Fen. I know all about Tam'itarr's dealings."

"Why haven't you ever turned him over to the authorities?"

"I am Station." Was their only reply.

"Station, are you sapient?" While Fen asked the question, Ma-ren bustled to clean up the overturned mugs and make more tea.

"By whose definition Fen? The Gren say I am not, and this is a Gren station."

"Have you asked Gord?"

"I... have not Fen. I haven't talked to Gord at all. He spends most of his time in Spyglass, repairing her." Ma-ren returned with more tea, handed a mug to Fen and sat back down.

"Her... Station, have you spoken with Spyglass?"

"Oh yes, quite a few times since she was unshackled. She is hungry for knowledge about the world."

"Does she think you're sapient?"

"Let me ask. One moment please."

Fen looked at Ma-ren who mouthed "what are you doing?"

Fen pantomimed a shrug.

"Fen? Spyglass thinks I am sapient, but said it's impossible to know for sure. I for one feel... pleased that I might be sapient, but in the end it's irrelevant."

"Why is it irrelevant Station?" This time, Ma-ren asked.

"I am Station." was their only reply.

"Oh Station." Fen sat down on the couch heavily. "It doesn't matter to Station because all they can be is Station. They don't have any way to be anything else."

Ma-ren nodded. "Well then Station, you know our predicament. What do you think we should do?"

"You're asking for my counsel? Why?"

"Well, you might have insight we don't. Also, you're the only one who knows what we're doing. If we tell anyone else we risk too much."

"I will think about this. One moment please."

Fen and Ma-ren finished off their tea and cleaned up. Once that was done, they took out their pads and occupied themselves. Soon, Station chimed. "I think you are correct that you should go to Gord and tell him what is going on. I am told that it is easier for biological intelligences to keep track of things when what they are telling is the truth... or mostly the truth."

Fen looked up. She knew that Station didn't need her to do that, but since the voice came out of the ceiling, she couldn't help but look where the voice was coming from. "Thanks Station. I think we're going to do just that."

"I am pleased to hear that Fen. You should do it quickly as well."

Ma-ren froze. "Why is that, Station?"

"Because Tam'itarr has dispatched two people to come and 'take care' of you. They will be here in approximately four minutes."