#there was a really cute scene in the crypt where he was like on the verge of tears its so cute

[sunny-honeytears]

OKAY SO GUYS I JUST WATCHED TDV LIVE

IM SO HYPED IM STILL BOUNCING ON THE WALLS OH GOD OH GOD

IT WAS SO SO SO SO GOOD OH GOD LIKE I CANT ACTUALLY PUT IT IN WORDS I JUST WANT TO SCREAM

THE ACTORS? AMAZING, DANCE? AMAZING, SET? AMAZING, VIBES? AMAZING

I literally screamed until my throat got sore at every actor it felt like therapy

Last time we had to leave just at the start of bows and i was so sad this healed me

EMBEREK ITS SO GOOD I CANT EVEN FULLY TALK IN ENGLISH

I got pictures at the theatre and I GOT A TSHIRT

A FUCKING TSHIRT

ILL COME BACK WHEN I CALMED DOWN, MOSTLY BECAUSE I LOST MY DRAFT WHERE I TALKED ABOUT THE SHOW AND I NEED A REST TO DO IT AGAIN

[phryneluvbot]

so, I basically live tweeted my (third) watch of crypt on twitter (it's the same name as in here, if anyone interested), so let me just drop everything I passed by this entire evening:

goofy opening, but where is my dancing silhouette and the 1920's godly music?

detective inspector jack robinson would like to know your location

tip: ALWAYS keep your sight on that woman, ALWAYS

I just love how phryne changed from a golden dress to a red outfit (I love it btw) that quickly, also one of her 8 languages is arabic!? MY GIRL!!

PRISON BREAK OUT FOR AN INNOCENT GIRL WHO WANTS TO SHARE THE TRUTH OF HER VILLAGE?! PHRYNE, YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN

PLEASE GET INSIDE THE TRAIN PHRYNE, PLEASE GET-

oh...

oh...

oh no... she did actually... oh my god no

OMG DOTTIE IS PREGNANT AND VULNERABLE, MUST PROTECT AT ALL COSTS (and hugh too)

(also, the only scene where we saw a part of the wardlow crew - where's mr butler, mac - HER BEST FRIEND, AND JANE, HER DAUGHTER!? COULDN'T WE SEE THEIR REACTIONS!?)

so, he never went after her... makes it even more heartbreaking

he even still saved the photos, his face showing the tears being retracted... I want to hug you so badly jack

"You meant so much more to Phryne"

OK, THAT MAKES IT EVEN MORE PAINFUL, I-

on the floor, crying and sobing

oh, aunt prudence is here (but not phryne's parents, on their daughter's funeral - I might get that most likely they have trauma from Janey and couldn't mark their presence in another funeral for their last daughter, but it would have been nice to be present and meet her boyfriend - aka jack - who is noticeably suffering a lot)

SO, YOU WERE ACTUALLY ALIVE THE LAST 6 WEEKS!? COULD HAVE JUST SENT A LETTER TO SOMEONE, GIRL-

I get it that she didn't knew she was presumed dead, that would have worried everyone she knew and loved, so it was a perfect time to apologize and show the empathic phryne we love

instead it was a "oh" and some awkard smilling

Phryne, I love you, a lot... But you can do better, and especially that you saw the man that loves you the most broken

"I came here for one thing, to farewell you. Farewell" I could hear the pain on his voice, poor Jack...

Well, this scene was iconic

"Jack, are you awake?"

well, he said he wasn't

proceeds to appear on the church moments later

and the man was murdered

and they can't leave england (my condolences)

oh, this is ending badly

"And I am sorry if I am not dead"

phryne, don't say the word "death" to that man again, he thought you died twice in the space of a few months (idk, this movie doesn't even say how after it is from the show). I understand that you might be hurt that he never came after you, I really do, but please, the poor man is still processing that he almost lost you.

also, both (still) don't know what personal space means

(kinky)

oh, so that thing is cursed and... oh, this movie is like if indiana jones was an australian detective, good to know

from the creators of "singing in the rain", we present you "almost kissing in the rain"

oh, you're going to break in his house, so you while use your old stealth black outfit like in melbourne, righ-

why. did you. chose to use. a jumper. with. your. initials. (I still love it, and the entire ouftit, I'd like one of those too please designers)

ooooh, he brought her a gift (and tuxedo jack, meow)

please, both of, learn what personal space is

oooh, they're dancing again... cute

arguing

more arguing

Palestinian man finds out that the people of the country that occupied his country are all douchebags

HE DIED, HE GOT SHOT AT THE HEART, WHY!?

Sharim, I am so sorry...

oh, those guys again... great

well, now they're going to Palestine and find the crypt of tears (OMG IT'S THE NAME OF THE MOVIE)

"I just hope she doesn't fly like she drives"

"I HEARD THAT!"

they are so married

oh, it's a mercenary... well, we're getting of quickly then

bombastic side eye

woman, why are you so hot?

Jack, she just wanted to take the gun, don't worry...

and now they have no guidance, great-

Phryne, we both know how it ends

steps on quicksand

"JaCK, I NEED YOUR HELP!"

Jack continues to not give a fuck after their arguing

"IT'S QUICKSAND"

Jack proceeds to run into her

"I'm not losing you like this, not after all the stupid ways I've nearly lost you."

"WHAT STUPID WAYS?"

Phryne, we both know which stupid ways

not saying a thing, just admiring

ok, they found one of the points of the map, they just need to connect all and boom: entrance found

damn, nice crypt

lesson of the day: don't ever trust "british" man

and it wasn't an accident, YOU MURDERED A VILLAGE AND DOOMED THAT GIRL'S LIFE, THAT IS NOT CALLED AN ACCIDENT

and of course the butler was part of this, and jonathon's father!? Ok...

he thinks he's cursed, blames everything on himself, and wants to die there so he can be free and find forgiveness from the people of the village... I hope you have found forgiveness jonathon, and that your father is going to suffer forever

goodbye sharim, we're all hoping you can motivate many other young girls and women with your spirit

Yeah, trying to shoot a giant spider is a very Phryne thing

Yay, Jack "killed it"

"It's my only fear, Jack. Apart from spending a long flight with Aunt Prudence"

omg, it's going to happen...

"You're afraid if you fall in love with me, I'll turn you into a policeman's wife and... try to stop you from saving the world." Jack, you are so wrong (except on the marriage part, she would only accept one in her own terms)

"And I don't need to marry. I just need your heart, as god knows you've already got mine"

"Jack, I've already gave you my heart a long time ago."

OMG, IT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN

"For a detective you don't notice much"

IT HAPPENED, IT HAPPENED, IT ACTUALLY-

dies in excessive fangirling

THEY FUCKED, THEY FUCKED, THEY ACTUALLY FUCKED!! THE PHRACK SEX IS REAL!!

and it ends with a teaser for a sequel... that atp I think we won't get (hope I am wrong)

well, that was fun, now it's the spin off left (that got cancelled after season 2 of finished-)

[amypihcs]

Hello my friends! Shoscombe old place, by pure coincidence also the granada episode i'll show to my GF tonight! Let's see what our favourite victorian husbands are doing!

Microscope stuff! aaaaaa i miss the lab! I have a feel that we'll have some really competent Watson in this story! Also, Holmes just projecting a conversation with Watson in his mind and finally replying aloud. It's so cute!

Now in fact Holmes explains, he's doing a favour to a policeman who's a friend, so nice! But NOW is he coming?

I hate it, when people are late! Feeling for you, Holmes! Now, time to make good use of your husband's knowledge! Now he's your handy guide to the turf! Holmes gave Watson a little kissy here!

They go over Mr Robert Norberton and the place he lives in, Watson does know it and yep! He gives his hubby a nice thumbnail of the man. FINALLY, the client!

yes, sit down, and now EXPLAIN. I don't like you. You explained little in your letter and also got here late.

My man. You're talking to queer.jpeg. Holmes' sarcasm is deserved. I love this scene in the granada serie, lol! Holmes turning to Watson, who mouths the word 'horse'. It's FANTASTIC!

You kidding? OF COURSE it won't go beyond the room. Give it a couple of years and it'll end up in the Strand! So -clears throat- yes. Guy NEEDS to win this race. Got it. And is this driving him crazy?

LMAO, You're talking to SHERLOCK HOLMES. Wasn't it for his husband, he would sleep a night yes and two no! WAIT! Mistreating his sis? -growl-

GAVE AWAY HER DOG??? And she, old lady with a bad heart, took to DRINKING?? Maaan, as we say in italy, qua c'è qualquadra che non cosa.

AND AN OLD CRYPT?

Holmes, you're already vibrating, stop, please. Calm down, i get that you're starting to like him, but some bit of control! Now back to the case

Ah. Eh! AAh.

This is an entire conversation. And how i would deal with such a bomb. Well, they start making theories, but the visit doesn't want to fit!

Well, time to light my favorite pipe! -groan- No, Holmes, PLEASE. Not that! -puff puff puff-

-pu.. COUGH COUGH- BONE?? Where did you get it? Well, dear doc, examine that, if you please, darling?

I LOVE COMPETENT WATSON SO MUCH! And so does Holmes! Well, deep and dirty waters. Indeed. Well, at least it wasn't sir Robert, the one burning corpses -phew-

Well, Mr Mason...

W-what? Mr Holmes? -Watson trying not to die of laughter in background-

Ah, perfect!

We coming then, up for a lil trip, Watson? You love fishing! Bye mr Mason, we shall get in touch with you!

[thelastbraincellofthehive]

So, I finally my girl/love of my life/my IRL Wednesday Addams to give the show a try! We just watched the first episode and her are some of her thoughts lol

She would definitely go the piranha revenge route too if she was Wednesday. I knew this from the start, remember watching that scene and immediatly texting her "you would totally be Wednesday if somebody bullied your brother!"

She's not super sure about this version's Gomez and Morticia. We're both 90s babies so we grew with the movies (I've had a crush on Anjelica Huston since forever and She's the same with Raul Julia) and she has trouble dealing with change, but she's interested on seeing how the different interpretations play out.

She also agrees that Wednesday's relationship with Morticia reminds her of herself and ver mother, so that's another point to me saying She's basically Wednesday.

She absolutely despises Xavier lol she thinks he's boring and 'has a bad vibe', so she basically hopes he dies soon. I think She's gonna like his arc of being acused of murder (?

On the other hand she thinks Rowan was cute, he reminded her of Adam Maitland from the Beetlejuice movie (I'm also trying to get her to watch the Beetlejuice musical, I know her taste in men and She's gonna love BJ lol). She also thought his death was hilarious and "he got what he deserved! Faster than I thought he would" lol

She's curious about Tyler but mostly because I told her Hunter reminds me of one my ocs she loves lol. I honestly think she's gonna really come to like Tyler, I'm curious how the finale is gonna be for her.

And in Enid's case, she is 'wilder and sillier that I thought she would be!' in a good way, she loves the energy and she's also happy to see she confronts Wednesday and doesn't just let her win. I don't think She's gonna be a Wenclair shipper, but she's curious because she says that if she's Wednesday then I'm her Enid (I'm the happy and cuddly and shiny one with dyed hair and I'm obsessed with wolves since forever lol)

*after the fencing match* me: 'no good deed goes unpunished' lol tell me that's not something you would say! She: ... I just got to that part and that's totally something I HAVE said before.

I'm telling you she's Wednesday!

She says she's surprised the Nero story didn't end up with violent revenge. We have now concluded that it probably did ended up like that but Wednesday didn't told that part because it wasn't relevant. Makes sense

She saw Thornhill and thought she was Stella from the Cruella live action lol!!! Now I can't look at her and not see Stella!!! Help!!

She's in love with Nevermore Academy, the gothic aesthetic is totally her vibe lol

A couple years ago she was in the hospital with pneumonia and she hates hospitals. While in the scene where Wednesday escapes Kimbott's office through the window she told me she actually thought about escaping the hospital like that 'but the bathroom window was too small' lol help she has no self-preservation at all smh

She's intrigued about the murder mystery and the whole past murder plot with Gomez so we're probably gonna be watching more sometime

(can't say for sure when because we're both disasters when it comes to watching stuff lol but we'll see, I'm really hoping we make it to chapter 7 because I really want to see her reaction to the crypt date where Tyler shows Wednesday Legally blonde lol I'be been trying to have her watch Legally blonde for years now!!)

So yeah, that's it about chapter 1 lol I'm so happy I convinced her to watch it!

[uh-ohspaghettio]

Favorite castiel episodes!

Oh man oh man *lists every single episodes he’s in*

Ok but if I have time narrow down I think my favorite Cas episode would be 8x08 Hunteri Heroici because that just has some of the most iconic Cas lines but at the same time we get a lot of characterization from him in my opinion

I of course love 4x01 Lazarus Rising because hello best character introduction ever and what’s the matter *head tilt* you don’t think you deserve to be saved. Like cmon absolutely iconic

Just like season 4/5 Cas in general is just so iconic cause that’s when he’s especially awkward but also so badass

I know this is technically leviathans but I totally have a thing for the episodes with leviathan!cas like misha absolutely served cunt with that one

I love love 8x17 goodbye stranger- I love his interactions with Meg they’re so cute and oh my god the crypt scene with Dean I will literally never be normal about that

I love his and Jack’s dynamic so I really love that episode 15x15 Gimme Shelter where they’re just on a literal homicide case and the dilfstiel content is just top notch

I could keep going but I’ll force myself to stop but like episodes are 10x better for me when Cas is there

[yackers]

I'm glad you brought up the dynamic of the KT, Eddie, and Fabian trio in 3a. I think it t sort of plays into how I felt Fabian was somewhat underused in S3 and it mostly has to do with that first half of the season. I think the writing between that Trio lacked a certain spark and dynamic in 3a because the writing between Fabian and KT in episodes 10-20 almost overlaps too much dialogue wise. I think if more character work had been done on those scenes, fans would feel differently about S3.

see im not sure that I quite feel that fabian was necessarily underused, he had the whole nina not coming back plot/fights with eddie, friendship with amber, the whole joy thing and he was solving all the clues. he was then always on the sibuna a team that did the majority of the investigating (fabian, kt & eddie) but I do totally feel that a lot of what the first half of s3 needed from sibuna was some variation?

the other two seasons definitely had combinations that were used more than others, but I think wanting to delay certain things led to them not mixing up the character combos as much as previous seasons. like this was definitely because it was much easier to delay eddie and patricia getting back together if they barely hung out (especially in like locked crypts) and also like kt and patricia's transition from frenemies to friends. I also get that the reason those three were often together is because the other two were the descendants so like it makes sense.

but yea like you said they just weren't quite developed as I think they should've been?? like sanu pointed out that this then set up for it being so easy for eddie and fabian to turn on kt and believe she betrayed them even before they knew what sinners were but I wish that they had a more interesting dynamic even if it was just constant bickering. like they definitely touched on that and had moments of it but I think what often lacked was the chemistry?? I've joked before that sometimes the early eddie and fabian mystery oriented moments were written so similarly to nina and fabian that it almost read as romantic tension?? same between kt and eddie before I think the writers really knew where they were going with them. they then definitely found this dynamic in early 3b because like the whole tortoise and hare thing with the wall was one of my favourite parts. I think that fabian and eddie representing the old and new sibuna respectively and their differing methods was a really cool concept that I wished they explored sooner. also the way kt and fabian then became friends in a similar dynamic to him and amber which was cute. and I think maybe kt would've benefitted from more character development of either coming from the angle of the frobisher descended that knew some clues or an outsider that constantly expressed how crazy it all was or like a special skill of some kind that was useful?? a lot of 3a used her quite heavily as a plot device, which is why like you said a lot of the trio's dialogue was plot heavy.

the long short of it is basically that the writers were finding their footing after two big character departures and a necessary shift in tone and you could definitely tell at times but don't think it was that bad?? more just wasted potential in certain areas and maybe just a lack of chemistry between the actors at times?? because the writing did try I think

[being-of-rain]

A torrent of random thoughts from my Classic Who watch, this time the first half of season 20.

I don’t know what fandom wisdom says abut Arc of Infinity (fandom wisdom isn’t something I give a lot of credit to anyway), but I’m not really a bit fan. The story structure is so weird, having a plot going on in Amsterdam and the Gallifreyan Capitol that don’t converge apart from the odd phone call until the final part. That said, the scene were the attack on the Tardis is intercut with the boys sleeping uneasily in a crypt was delightfully gothic. But apart from the production team once again taking as many opportunities as possible to show off their overseas location filming, most of the story was some rather dull Gallifreyan politics. It definitely felt like the Doctor should’ve ended up on Earth sooner. Nyssa almost feels like a new character with all the focus she’s forced to get when she’s the Doctor’s only companion. I don’t think she was written or acted as emotionally before she is when the Doctor is in danger on Gallifrey. Plus, it was cool to see her go on a killing spree (or stunning spree, whatever), which is a visual which sticks out in my mind when I think about this story. It’s cool to see Tegan investigating things on her own too, and cute to see the two companions happy to meet up at the end, even if the Doctor is hilariously but obviously annoyed at her rejoining them. That adds to my theory that he kinda left Tegan behind on purpose last story, an action that for some reason goes unaddressed and unexplained, but honestly it was probably good for Tegan to get some time to grieve Adric without the Doctor forcing her to repress everything. Do I just not like the Fifth Doctor? No, I think I just don’t like it when main characters have flaws that go so blatantly ignored. It’s nice to get a Leela reference and a Romana reference! I know the Doctor must have friends on Gallifrey, but it feels weird that Damon and Hedin are treated almost like characters we should know. Maybe it feels particularly weird because the story goes so unnecessarily hard on the ‘good guys are actually the bad guys’ fake-out. Also, some truly weird and unbelievable statistics are pulled out about the Time Lords. I know it feels extra weird now with all the EU content out there, but even for just the show thus far they felt silly. A Tardis recall circuit has apparently only been used twice before in Time Lord history. A Time Lord has only been destroyed (legally executed, presumably?) once before. And Borusa says “You know that capital punishment has long been abolished here in Gallifrey.” Didn’t the Doctor literally get put on death row previously in The Deadly Assassin?? Any other random points? Well, I don’t like to nitpick- no that’s not true, everyone likes to nitpick. I don’t like to let nickpicking ruin my enjoyment, but if a story brings up so many small points that it doesn’t satisfactorily answer, it starts to weigh it down. What exactly is the Ergon? How does the Doctor know about it and its name? What does the Ergon’s gun do to Tegan- teleport her dramatically? If so, why doesn’t it do the same to the Ergon later? The Ergon in general just looked funny enough to kind of ruin the aesthetic of the crypt scenes, sorry, which is a shame because the crypt aesthetic was one of the only things the story had going for it for me. I don’t know where ‘the spacetime element’ is an interesting or bad name for a piece of the Tardis console. Similarly, I don’t know whether I like the title Arc of Infinity- it’s a good title, but the arc is something that isn’t explained very well and doesn’t really have a large part in the story. Is there a little cafe on a walkway of the Capitol? Fun. And everyone talks about “No not the mind probe,” but nobody talks about the even flatter delivery of “Impulse laser?” near the start of this story from a guy who is about to be shot by an impulse laser. Finally, Omega himself looks great when he takes off his mask- gotta love Peter Davison in a black turtleneck. But things take such a turn in the last 10 minutes of the story. Omega has a quick scene where he simply enjoys some organ music and the view of a canal. It adds such a (sudden) tragic element to him, of a man who just wants to live in the real world again. Which is amplified when his final scene is played (again suddenly) extremely gritty, with the Doctor having to shoot him and cause his apparently agonising death. The last-minute tone shift is even more jarring when the show feels like it immediately chickens out on it, with the Doctor almost immediately after saying Omega might not be dead then ending the episode on a light-hearted note. I don’t often criticise the genius of author Nev Fountain, but I can’t help but feel he missed some obvious hooks there in his sequel audio Omega, in which Omega suddenly wants to return to his antimatter universe and leave the real one behind.

Snakedance! I think it’s not quite as good as Kinda, but it’s still really good! The way it creates a very believable and relatable world is so neat (maybe helped by my own interest in archaeology and ancient history studies which is represented in this). There’s always very realistic dialogue and acting. The plot is a little slower and more meandering than Kinda, and it’s a shame Tegan isn’t in it more (a downside Kinda shared). I don’t really have as much to say about the themes of this one like I did with the previous Mara story, though I’m sure they’re there. I’m left with just things to list off that I liked about the story. Part one has another fantastic cliffhanger, made better by the Fifth Doctor theme tune. Some of the Mara moments are genuinely unnerving, like Lon talking with Tegan’s voice. Lon is a great character, and I wish he was in more of it without being possessed tbh. But I did like how sometimes the Mara possessed people, and sometimes it likes to play on the temptations of people in order to manipulate them. I also liked the creepy moment that the carnival man is standing still in the dark cave to surprise someone, with the added irony that that’s what he suggested Tegan do at his hall of mirrors earlier. There’s a lot of altered states in this one; dreams, the sound machine, the snake poison, possession. And the use of sound could be very striking. The cutting between the noise of the ceremony and the calm of the Doctor meditating with Dojjen is very striking. And the same things with the fucking killer ending which goes from the intensity of the Mara trying to manifest to the silent horror of everyone recovering from it, followed by the end credits screaming in before you barely get a moment to process it all. I’m still not sure if I love it or not, but it sure as heck leaves an impression.

I spent ages looking for Mawdryn Undead and Terminus without the optional CGI special effects that were included on the DVD, because for some reason they’re hard to find online. I don’t know why people would prefer those versions: to me the old practical methods and less sophisticated special effects are not only part of the charm, but part of the original production and storytelling. It’s the same reason I enjoy the original versions of the Star Wars films rather than the many re-edits. Not so much because I’m a purist (at least I hope not), but because I like watching these things as products of their historical times as well as for their stories. Besides, the added CGI effects can often break my suspension of disbelief more than bad practical effects (even if it’s good CGI, which is not guaranteed) because it simply doesn’t look like it fits with the rest of the show. Also, literally who would want to watch Mawdryn Undead without the eye-wateringly horrendous original ‘80s training video effect behind Turlough and the Black Guardian when they make their dark deal. The new effect is the most boring thing ever and actually looks halfway good. Get that shit outtahere.

ANYWAY. Mawdryn Undead is a story of many different tones for me. This bit will mostly be me listing off random things in the story in roughly chronological order. The first episode almost felt like it could be a pantomime, though that’s probably mostly because of the Black Guardian in all his crow-headed glory, and the sometimes hysterical background music. If you haven’t watched the scene in the first few minutes when Turlough steals and then crashes the Brigadier’s car, please god look it up. Bloody iconic. It’s hilarious watching how quickly and thoroughly Turlough throws Hippo under the bus for stealing the car, but very satisfying for me personally who wants more deeply flawed and antagonistic companions. Also, my longest-running DnD character is called Hippo, so hearing the name bandied about felt so weird jsldkfj. It was kind of surprising how rude the Brig could be to students, but maybe that’s just what you’d expect to hear at a British public school. Considering how the Black Guardian pretended to have pure intentions, it was also kind of surprising to hear him shout “In the name of all that is evil!” at the end of the episode, but again maybe that’s just what you’d expect to hear at a British public school. I started vibing with the story way more than I expected when it became the Brigadier recounting to the Doctor the events of 6 years ago, which was when the Doctor’s present companions met him, and for the audience both plots were unwinding simultaneously. I love that kind of plotting in a time travel story. Makes it extremely satisfying to follow when the plots effect each other and weave together (eg when the Brigadier says he remembers the Tardis leaving without him, when actually his past self didn’t see that happen until part four). I also liked how the Doctor figures out something’s up with Turlough very quickly and takes a moment to show that he disapproves, but still keeps him around anyway. I imagine it’s a mix of wanting Turlough where he can see him, and wanting to help him. Speaking of what Turlough has going on, is it just me who thought it wasn’t made very clear that he’s an alien in his first story? There’s maybe a few lines that suggest it, and it was obviously the plan from the beginning since the following stories reference it, but honestly if I went into this not knowing he was an alien I’m not sure I would’ve figured it out by the end of this one. Why would Tegan and Nyssa assume that the burnt figure they find is the Doctor? It’s a kinda fun mistaken identity plot that adds to the many moving parts of this story, but obviously the burnt figure was imagined to be a lot harder to identify in the script. But I don’t mind too much when it’s followed up by Tegan’s healthy scepticism in the face of Nyssa’s panicked belief, and the Brigadier’s hesitant attempts to keep both sides happy. Tegan’s honestly very on point in this story. Watching through her episodes make me feel like she gets flanderised a bit in the audios as an argumentative woman who can’t follow a sci-fi plot. As time goes on, she’s shown a lot to be an extremely competent companion in the face of the Doctor’s adventures: see also Earthshock. The backhalf of the story gets a bit bogged down with everyone wandering around Mawdryn’s spaceship. Makes me feel like this would’ve been a very tight three-parter. But it is hilarious that there’s like half a dozen different factions with their own goals, and literally all of them want the past Brigadier to leave. So he spends ages getting shuffled round and out of the way, but he still ends up doing exactly what nobody wanted him to do at the end. The brigadiers creating their own temporal energy is a clever way to end the plot, but the fact that they coincidentally do it at the exact microsecond they needed to feels a bit too contrived. It feels like this could’ve been one of the best plots in Classic Who with just a few tweaks. Finally, the moral dilemma in this story is very interesting, but the Doctor’s response to it is even more so. It’s never brought up that killing Mawdryn’s crew is what he objects to, only that he doesn’t want to sacrifice his own future regenerations. He repeatedly objects to that aspect, and specifically phrases it as the end of him as a Time Lord. Could you say something about the Doctor preaching against the superiority of his people but then hesitating to give up their benefits? Maybe link it to this Doctor’s rather old world British aesthetic? I’m sure there’s other ways you could look at this situation too, since it’s such a complex moral issue.

[thigholstercas]

March & April

hi :) I don't know where this two months went but here are some more fics I read (and a cute little banner). as I said in the last one, this list includes drabbles or ficlets, even poems, that I read here because fic writers should also be praised when they only write a couple of lines. on another note, you should go throughout the deancaspinefest fics and the deancasreversebang fics, and spnpoetryrenaissance, I listed some here, but you should take a look to the others. remember to give kudos, leave comments or just let fic writers know you love their work. it's a long list so it'll be under the cut

the coffee kissing crisis (4.6k, GA) by FallenAngelOfThursday @pointyearedelvishprincling

I’m just gonna share what I thought the second I finished it (yeah I took note off that)

Aoife!!!! They are dumbasses but they really love each other. The last paragraph...THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ. Dean is sleepy and kisses Cas after he gives him coffee. Some time later he freaks out. Cas talks to the bees 🐝 ♥. (Honestly just read everything Aoife has written )

sequitur (23.4k, E) by butterflyslinky

The pain...of Dean grieving...is horribly good. They changed the ending (you’ll understand when you read it). Freaking good!!! Cas is also awkward during sex, is so cute.

The Legend of the White Light (50k, E) by EllenOfOz

Purgatory my beloved <3 I literally read the first chapter and my first thought was "this is so fucking cool". Cas and Dean's pov. For me the first half is the best (purgatory) and then is mostly in canon for all season 8, up to the crypt scene. I'd read this again just for purgatory.

heal me with (3k, T) by ilovehowyouletmefall

Cas comes back from the Empty during the call from 15x19, but he's dying. Dean's soul reaches for him. So nice. Sam getting angry at Cas is so funny for me personally.

Samson went back to bed (9.7k) by piesexuality @twoheadedcas

Look I probably wouldn’t read it again because I swear I cried a lot, but at the same time it was so good. Cas is a selfish bastard and erases everyone's memories about Mary. No kidding, so fucking freaking painful but good. (art from @citruscas for it)

Desideratum and other mishaps (28k, T) by thefandomsinhalor

I thought that it was so sweet. Instead of Dean using the pear, Jack uses it and let´s just say things don’t go as planned. Sam is the bitchy brother. Cas is a dad!!!! Dean is a dad too!!! 

with this stab I thee wed (9k,T) by TheSilverQueen

Adore how it is written. It starts the moment Cas is fighting demons to rescue dean from hell, it ends with them married, really nice.

What's already mine (2.1k, T) by elephantsinthestars @blanketforcas

I swear I’m not putting this one here because I love her. This is just really beautiful. Cas learns to love his body and something something about loving yourself first before being with someone else.

the closer the star, the greater the parallax (8.7k, E) by kettleknight

Cas shows and explains to Dean how he rescued him from hell. I don’t know how to explain how much this fic changed me as person..

Okay, you should also read some of these:

divine by @bixlasagna

nothing but this by @buglovescas

castiel’s guide to loving a human by @redleavesinthewind

Dean x Cas: a prayer for a prayer by @faithdeans

Dean overthinking “[...] the one in the dirty trench coat who is in love with you" by @mishacollinsthighsss

about a boy by @universalcas  

cas trails his fingers across dean’s chest by @angelscas

To Dean Winchester, 1995 (tw sexual abuse) by @jactingjoices

my faith is shaken, but I still believe by @interrogatethecat (last minute addition)

I re-read these ones and I think they deserve to be here:

The Mantra (3k, GA) by amirosebooks

“You're safe, you're home, I got you”, this one is so soft, is pretty much about Cas and Dean taking care of each other.

Damn You Auto Correct! (8.3k, E) by Chiyume

Porn without plot but I like it, Dean can´t talk cuz’ he's sick. 

What to do when a good man hurts you (8k, T) by @fellshish

Dean thinks that the way he'll stop the empty for taking Cas is telling him he hates him and every bad thing he can think. Turns out it doesn't work...angst okay a lot of angst. But there´s a happy ending.

Alright this is already too long, I read so much more, but I can’t put them all here, anyway give all your love to writers <3

[ladystoneboobs]

ok, my other stark family hot take is that i don’t think sansa was really much closer to robb than jon. we know robb/sansa also had a goodbye hug with the snowflakes in his hair, and that he led her, arya, and bran, into the crypts for his and jon’s cute ghost prank. but literally anything else between them is fanon, not canon. 

yeah, we know sansa thought of her big brothers very differently and would’ve wanted more interactions with robb and valued them more, but the question is what did he think/feel about her? without a pov, the best clue that we have (besides his refusal to trade jaime, which i do think he felt little choice about) is his reaction to sansa’s last letter to wf. where he blames her for the whole thing, not just arya’s exclusion, and needs luwin to point out these must have been cersei’s words that sansa was made to write. which is, um, a not great sign about the state of their relationship imho. my impression is more that sansa admired and idolized him from afar even when they still lived in the same castle. with the 4ishyr age difference and the highly gendered activity structures of their days i just don’t see much time for individual bonding. jon/arya’s first scene happens when arya runs away from her oh-so-important femimine lessons and jon is being excluded from male bonding, neither of which would apply to sansa or robb. sansa wasn’t interested in any “boyish” activities like arya was with all her brothers, and i see no evidence that robb would have interest in whatever more feminine playtimes sansa and her girly-girl cohort would get up to. 

lest anyone misunderstand and think I am perpetuating the myth of sansa an outsider within the stark household, never really one of them, i’ll just add that there is one starkling who appeared to have an equally warm relationship with both sisters and that’s bran. which makes sense since he was the one closest in age to the girls and is known for being a sweet kid who gets along well with most people, as evident from his first chapter. then there’s rickon too, who i’m sure sansa also had a good enough relationship with, but there’s really only so much closeness to be had between a tween and a toddler. (and lbr, rickon/any other starkling is mostly fanon too. all we know of him pre-abandonment is that he liked sweets, which is true of almost every little kid who can eat sweets. the “wildness” he’s primarily defined by was not an intrinsic distinguishing characteristic when the family still lived together, but a new trait developed only after they split as a response to the situation he was far too young to understand.) 

though as much as i’d like more bran and sansa fandom solidarity, it’s not like i’m saying everyone should focus on their relationship either, regardless of personal preference for other characters or fanon, bc that would be obnoxious. 

[gates-keeper]

Part 1: “Words of Affirmation” Destiel Quotes & Parallels

I’m sure someone’s done this before me and done it better, but I’m compiling a huge Destiel evidence docket for no reason. Anyone got any quotes to add?

Comments From Outside Characters

To Dean

Uriel: “He has this weakness. He likes you.” (4x10)

Balthazar: “You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” (6x17)

Hester: “The first time Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” (7x21)

Meg: “He was your boyfriend first.” (7x23)

Charlie: “What about Castiel? He seems helpful. And dreamy.” (8x20)

Marie: “Although we do explore the nature of Destiel in Act 2.” (10x5)

Sam: “Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” He then goes on to tease Dean with “Sastiel” which Dean takes negatively. (10x5)

Dean: “This Cas is looking at me weird.” Sam: “So like the real Cas then.” (15x14) 

To Castiel

Hannah: “We gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.” (9x22)

Metatron: “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity.” (9x22)

Metatron: “Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but, ultimately, it was about saving one human, right?” (9x23)

Ishim: “I’m going to cure you of your human weakness [i.e. Dean]” (12x10)

The Empty: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love…There is nothing for you back there.” (13x4)

Demon: “I thought you were joined at the… (looks down) everything.” (14x01)

There are also several instances where other characters try to poke at insecurities regarding their relationship.

Naomi: “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way.” (8x19)

Casifer: “There comes a time when every relationship has run its course.” (11x18)

Michael!Dean: “You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.’ Or whatever.” (14x10)

Comments From Dean

To Cas

“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, you are not going to die a virgin.” (5x03) 

“So what? I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” (5x03)

“You know what? Blow me, Cas.” (5x18)

“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.” (5x18)

“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” (8x07)

“We need you. I need you.” 

For more on this quote see the “We vs. I” section.

To Other Characters

Bobby: “I think maybe it’s time you made a call.” Dean: “Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy.” (Cas appears) Dean: “Get out of my ass.” Cas: “I was never in your… (head tilt)” (6x19)

“On my car…. He showed up naked… covered in bees.” (7x23)

While Cas suffered from some mental issues at the time, it seems somewhat significant that he sought Dean out under the circumstances, not Sam, etc.

“There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” (10x16)

“My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here” (12x12)

“He came into my room and he played me.” (12x19)

“Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—Mom’s gone.” (13x01)

Dean’s inability to list Cas’s death singles him out as the most devastating of the losses.

“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.” (13x01)

While some people have heard this as “bring ‘em back”, the Netflix captions and transcripts I have been able to find say “him.”

“And Cas bought it. And you know what it got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that, but I can't!” (13x03)

“I have a family.” (In response to John Winchester lamenting Dean doesn’t have a wife and kids) (14x13)

Comments From Cas

To Dean

“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt.” (4x16)

“I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it—all of it—for you.” (5x02)

“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” (5x18)

“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call.” (6x21)

“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord.” (6x22)

Before taking on the role of God, Cas seemed very concerned with Dean’s forgiveness/acceptance/love. It is interesting that, as God, that was the first thing he asked for, turning from Sam (who had just stabbed him) to Dean to ask for love.

“Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me.” (10x22)

“I love you. I love all of you.” (Arguably to the group, but the first “I love you” can be seen as Dean-specific, especially since it cuts to Dean after being said.) (12x12)

“You mean too much to me. To everything.” (12x9) (To Mary, Sam, and Dean. However, the camera immediately cuts to Dean specifically, even though he is in the back of the group).

“I’m your Huckleberry.” (13x06)

Cas love confession (15x18)

To Other Characters

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” (6x03)

“I won’t hurt Dean.” (8x17)

This is said as Castiel is breaking away from Naomi’s mind control—mind control she fostered specifically by having Cas kill a thousand versions of Dean. This implies she knows that Cas’s strongest loyalty is to Dean, not Sam, or humans in general.

“The point is that they [Dean & Sam] were here at all and you got to know them, you -- When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.” (14x14)

“You know, Dean, he... he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.” (15x13)

Other Comments

Reaper: “How do I start looking for this... Castiel?” Bartholomew: “I got one word for you. Winchester.”

Rowena: “An Angel of the Lord, shattered at the altar of Winchester.”

Use of We vs. I

In the crypt scene in Season 8, Dean tells Cas, “We need you.” This is not enough to stop Cas’s actions. When the language switches to “I need you,” Cas drops the angel blade.

We can clearly see that Dean tries to put up barriers about how he really feels about Cas in his use of “We.” For example, after showing the audience many scenes of Dean, not Sam, frantically trying to call Cas, we get the following lines:

“So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us?”

“With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.”

It’s clear that these “we’s” are really “I’s”

In the alternate future presented in 15x9, Sam asks Dean, “What’s happened to you Dean… ever since…?” to which Dean responds, “Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy and I had to bury him in a Malak box… ever since then?” While he acknowledges Sam’s losses as well, his switch to “I” in reference to Cas implies that Cas’s loss belongs especially to him.

(Mostly) Verbal Parallels to Other Couples

In 1x01 (start at 2:27), Dean pulls Sam away from a dead Jess in a direct parallel to how Sam pulls Dean away from Cas in 12x23

Following Jessica’s death, Sam keeps seeing glimpses of her as he and Dean travel around in the Impala. Dean does the same in Season 8 following his return from Purgatory without Cas.

David from “Bloodlines” (9x20) tells his love interest, “I was there. Where were you?” which is the same thing Dean says to Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King” (6x20)

When asking Dean whether he’s in love with Cassie, Dean gives a similar response to what he will say in 10x5 when asked about Destiel.

Destiel is paralleled with their counterparts from the Supernatural play who are “a couple in real life” (10x5)

Cain compares himself to Dean in Season 10. He describes the significant kills of his life (The Knights of Hell, his wife Collette, and his brother Abel) and tells Dean that he will follow his same pattern by killing the King of Hell Crowley, Castiel, then Sam. It is also mentioned that all Collette asked of Cain was “to stop,” which is the same language Cas uses with Dean in 10x22.

Dean explains how his parents fell in love to prove his identity to Mary in 12x1, “He was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed.” Later in this same season (12x19), Dean gives Cas a homemade mixtape of his favorite Zeppelin songs.

Ishim fell in love with a human named Lily Sunder who ultimately left him for someone else. When trying to recruit Castiel, he compares Dean to her.

Dean questions how much of their life has been controlled by God. Cas states, “You asked, ‘What about all of this is real?’ We are.” (15x02) Later, they find out that God has been using Eileen to spy on the Winchesters. She says, “After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Sam kisses her, stating “I know that was real.” (15x09)

PART 2 “Physical Touch” Now Finished

[joysmercer]

if you could rewrite how the hoa couples got together (maybe even their relationship plotline), what would you do? or if there was a non canon pairing you really wanted to see how would you get them together in the show? :))

ok warning that i’m on mobile (so no cut) and this turned fairly critical so if that’s not something you want to read just blacklist #hoadisc and scroll past this post

amber x mick: i just want to see how they got together, i think they’re fine besides that

amber x alfie: honestly i’d just redo the entire thing so they start on a page of mutual respect. the way she treated him wasn’t ok tbh

mara x mick: they get together the same way but the picture scandal doesn’t happen; she breaks it off properly before kissing jerome and doesn’t do so in front of him lol

mara x jerome: everything’s the same but that one line after where she calls him “son of a thief” doesn’t happen. idk what to replace it w because it had to be that harsh for the plot to proceed but still

mara x fabian: give them more development—3x40 was a good start but like. maybe have them genuinely connect romantically during tor first lmfao

fabian x nina: season 1 is fine. post s2-breakup, i’d make it go one of two ways: either have them realize they’re idiots within 10 eps instead of 90, or let it fizzle out properly. basically none of the passive aggressive shit that happened instead.

jerome x willow and joy x jerome and willow x alfie: just more scenes in general

patricia x eddie: first of all, throw the entire pink dress plot in tor in the trash. aside from that, just some minor changes— fixing the weird consent of the piper kiss, having patricia actually worried abt eddie when he’s locked in the crypt (instead of “kidnapping is a lame excuse” 😂), and get rid of that bit where he oggles after maras lawyer in front of her. (rest of that jealousy arc is fine tho). also add in more hugs and a forehead kiss bc why not!! edit: copying tess here to say i’d also add wayy more pining in 3a hehe

iv always wondered how mara x willow would have worked out and if the show was being remade today that would be a great way to end the revenge plot.

nina x amber would be cute to explore if they were there for (more of) s3

also give kt a gf :)

[enigmaticxbee]

✖️✖️✖️✖️ 7x19 Hollywood A.D.

The one where... they make a movie about Mulder and Scully starring Garry Shandling and Tea Leoni.

Best: The Mulder-Scully-Skinner split screen bubble bathtub scene. Iconic. Skinman!!

Worst: I love so many individual moments in this episode but it’s kind of all over the place. And the conclusion of this case isn’t very satisfying - they get kicked off the case for autopsying a murder victim and basing the identity of the victim off the id found on the body (unless the identity is in question wouldn’t that be the standard assumption?? although if the “id” in question is the cell phone then Skinner’s got a point) and then find out 18 months later that both suspects died in a murder-suicide. So... whose body was that in the crypt?

✔️ Flashlights

❌ Woods/Desert

❌ Slideshow

✔️ Autopsy

❌ Evidence Disappears

❌ Scully Misses It

❌ Mulder Ditch

❌ Sunflower Seeds

❌ Voiceover

❌ Catch Phrase

❌ Scully is a Medical Doctor

❌ Mulder is Spooky (no, but he calls Scully ‘Sister Spooky’ which is 😍)

❌ Scuuullllaaaaayy! Muullllderrrr!

❌ Fox/Dana

✔️ Inappropriate Touching (that I am here for)

❌ Casual Scully (no, but that little black dress and the cute little headband!)

✔️ Casual Mulder

❌ Trench Coats

❌ Bad Tie Watch

❌ Glasses Watch

50 States: California x18 & DC x71 (40/50)

Investigate: Together & Apart

Solve Rate: 62%

❌ Bechdel Test: Tea Leoni says something to Scully but they walk off so we don’t hear her respond.

MSR: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

Goriness: 👽👽

Creepiness: 👽👽

Humor: 👽👽👽👽👽

Rewatch Thoughts:

SOSS: I mean, Hollywood date night - Scully’s positivly giddy about going out on the town on Associate Producer Walter Skinner’s dime.

Just... the implications of DD having his wife dress up to look like his female costar/his character’s romantic interest is... a LOT 👀

Trying to figure the timeline on txf is a futile task but... 18 months earlier...sometime in season 6? WTF does this episode take place?

A modern miracle - cell phone reception in the catacombs. If you saw a name come up on a ringing cell phone wouldn’t you assume that was the name of the person calling and not the owner of the phone 🤔

Of course Scully can read Ancient Greek 😂

No warrants, no permission, no research - that’s the X-Files baby!

Wayne Federman: (to Mulder) You’re crazy for believing what you believe. (to Scully) And you’re crazy for not believing what he believes. Exactly.

Scully’s Sister Spooky story - and then Mulder calling her Sister Spooky, they’re just sickeningly cute sometimes.

I tried to watch the Murder Among the Mormons documentary about the true story that this case is based on but I couldn’t get into it.

Coming just after All Things but taking place 18 months earlier really highlights how far Scully has come in opening up to Mulder about her vision in the Buddhist temple in All Things vs pretending her visions of the dead here aren’t happening.

Scully running back and forth to demonstrate to Tea Leoni how to run in heels in the background while Gary Shandling tries to figure out whether Mulder dresses to the right or left 😂

Gary Shandling as Mulder: I love you, Scully. No ifs ands or - Tea Leoni as Scully: - bees. The idea that one of them TOLD Federman about the hallway incident (or told SKINNER who told Federman) makes me unhinged 🤪

Skinner’s so happy 😂

I just love the ending with the zombies dancing on the graveyard set.

Episode-Related Fanfic Recs:

Untitled by @06666666 - post ep date night. He eats with her there in the warm water, bumping knees and feeding French fries to his little sea monster.

The Big Orange by @teethnbone - pre and post ep, NSFW. Just fantastic. It’s 5AM and you’re on your way to the airport to catch a flight to see a film based on a screenplay based (loosely) on the idea of the two of you. Though “the idea of the two of you” has shifted subtly in the months since you were used as source material.

Socially Inept by Adrienne - post ep, NSFW. An old fave. Their beverage of choice was vodka, and a lot of it. (On Gossamer so if the link doesn’t work you can search for it there.)

Younger Than Springtime - post ep date night, NSFW. Carefree Scully takes Mulder out on the town. (On Gossamer so if the link doesn’t work you can search for it there.)

Style and Substance by Gina Rain - post ep date night. Another Scully takes Mulder out on the town fic. So sweet. (On Gossamer so if the link doesn’t work you can search for it there.)

[prose-for-hire]

Love rises from the dust

Pairing: Spike x reader

Request: OMG I NEEED A SEQUEL TO LOVE AND DUST IN THE AIR!!! That was so good!! I can totally see spike trying to do romantic gestures to ask her out but something keeps going wrong (xander messes with their picnic, they get interrupted by the newest big bad, willow practices her magic and accidentally makes spike bald, etc.) until she just shows up at his crypt one day with hot coco and movies and kisses him 😭😭😭 TOO CUTE!

Part one

Requested by: Anon

A/N: I had a great time writing this second part!! Spike is perhaps a little more self-deprecating than he is on the show?? A bit more William (Forgive me I am a big romantic if you couldn’t tell lol).

Planning to tell you he loved you was the easy part. He couldn’t help watching you, desperately trying to think of an excuse to get you alone. Buffy was always there though, or one of the other Scoobies. It was as if they were trying to spite him in every way possible. Blocking his happiness, blocking you from him.

You had noticed this too, you usually drew to him, sitting with him at the Magic Box or spending time with him in his crypt when you had time but ever since Giles had made a strange comment about Spike spending too much time around you it seemed like you had stopped seeing Spike all together. Yo uwere constantly busy, whether it was patrolling with Buffy or helping Willow with a spell. Xander had even roped you into helping with some project that was taking up a lot of your time.

Spike didn’t blame you, he blamed them. He had a suspicion that they were doing it on purpose, which was confirmed when Giles threatened him to stay away one night.

Despite this, Spike had a plan. They weren’t going to get in the way of your happiness. He was a man of his word and he was determined to tell you how he felt. He was nervous, so nervous. He couldn’t bare the rejection. Not from you. He loved you. His heart rose, every even seemingly insignificant interaction a journey in devotion for him. He adored you, he was desperate for you to know. To hear from him how special you were to him. How much you meant to him.

It was a practice in salvation. With you, he could see happiness. Almost taste it. He vowed to himself that he would treasure you should you accept his advances. That he would never take you for granted.

He decided he would have to do it sooner than later, so he started to plan out something romantic. Romance like you deserved. So, Spike had decided on a night-picnic. He hadn’t actually told you that was what was happening, he had suggested to patrol together, accidentally stumbling across the blanket, a few candles, and the brown bag filled with what appeared to be an entire aisle of the corner store. It looked as if he had put his arm on one end and sweeped everything into a basket from one end to the other.

You squealed excitedly, “Did you do this!?” Spike just shrugged a little, ducking his head. You moved over to kneel on the blanket and look into the basket. You sit, tugging his sleeve so that he’ll sit down next to you as you take the bag and start to rummage inside. However, your smiles didn’t last long as you grabbed something that Spike hadn’t put in there.

The bag, and snacks, exploded before you. A pile of goo in its place. Some of it on your outfit (that you had carefully selected to be both good for fighting and something you hoped Spike would like on you). You squeak, standing up. Wiping some of the goo but it stuck like glue.

Spike just stared, he hadn’t expected that. It appeared to be some cheap prank-magic. He heard chuckling from a bush and whipped his head around to see the boy.

His reaction didn’t appear too bothered, you had missed his jaw tensing as he didn’t want you to see him so mad. You muttered something about dropping in on Buffy’s, because it was so close, to ask if you could use her shower. This left Spike imagining all of the ways he would string Xander up and torture him, but instead had to settle for shouting insults whilst he followed him all the way home.

Spike had to find a few demons to beat up, walking past your house twice although there were no lights on. He felt stupid. He should have asked if you were okay, offered you his jacket. The goo was cold and would stick to you for a while.

A fact you found out at the Summer’s residence where you were now almost 90% covered in the purple substance that you were spreading around instead of washing off. You couldn’t figure out if Spike had done it to be cruel or it had been someone else’s sabotage. Either way, you felt stupid, worried Spike would think of you and laugh now instead of enjoying your company. You felt a little embarrassed.

It had been a few weeks and Spike had not stopped thinking about you and figuring out a way to make it up to you. You had no ill-will towards Spike by this time as you found out and beat up Xander for his trick. Thankfully, you were now completely your natural skin tone, with no purple hue left.

You had dropped in to tell him this and ended up staying. You were sat in the crypt together, realising Spike was mad at Xander still for the prank, rather than laughing at you. He smirked when you mentioned you had stamped on his foot and threatened more, asking you to retell the story several times. You decided you should drop some hints that you liked him, you were able to face horrible beasts on the Hellmouth but letting Spike know you felt for him was a little harder.

You decided to snuggle up to him, willing the words to formulate. You were sat together on the sofa, you hitched up to his side of the seat. He was aware of how close you were to him, daring to glance sideways to make sure it wasn’t an accident. You gradually moved closer, both of your eyes glued to the screen, you eventually managed to settle into his side and he moved to slip an arm around your shoulders. Your movements both slow, as if moving faster would ruin the scene, scare either of you away. He could hear how fast your heart was beating, he was desperate to say something but he didn’t want to ruin anything. Holding you, having you close. It was bliss.

Both of you were uncharacteristically quiet, the only sound the low buzzing of the tv set and the constant thrumming of your heart. You were trying to think of more ways to drop hints to Spike that you liked him, you maybe even felt the first syllable of love tingling on your tongue for him. You knew, however, that Spike liked to be the one to sort through his feelings and if he hadn’t said anything then surely it meant you felt more for him than he did for you.

You thought you might tell him that you were thinking of going to the Bronze on Saturday, that you’d really like to see him there. It wouldn’t hurt, he might even want to come. He seemed to enjoy the way your skin felt against his, his thumb moving soothingly ever so often. It was as if he was holding his breath, making sure that the moment would last as long as possible. He felt so happy like this, he didn’t want you to slip from his arms.

You open your mouth, willing yourself to ask, just as he appears to be doing the same. Time slowed, anticipation a dizzying phenomenon as if there were something in the air.

But something comes crashing in, taking the door off its hinges. The monster of the week, a massive troll-demon. Spike grabs you to protect you and then remembers who you are, then looks at you and you nod, a sparkle in your eye. He smirks, you both silently agree to work together.

You had your fighting stances ready, you fought so closely, as if it were expertly choreographed. You just fit. You took it down together, not able to stop smiling at each other as you caught your breath back. This was the best kind of foreplay for Spike. He could watch you fighting for hours, enamoured by the grace you held. The brutality, the expertise that almost matched his - he had a few hundred years on you, however.

By the time you had tracked and slayed the troll, you had ended up by your house. Spike walked you the rest of the way, looking as if you both wanted to say something. You tried, you really did. But you both just stared hopelessly at the other. At least meant you started to believe Spike may truly have feelings there for you in return.

Since the last time you and he had been in the crypt, Spike had been a little awkward around you. He had been overthinking everything, trying to force himself into saying something. Building himself up, only to come crashing down when you looked up at him with bright eyes and a smile that he noted seemed to widen in his presence. Or was that his mind playing tricks? He became so tongue-tied around you, he didn’t know what was wrong with him.

There was a meeting at the Magic Box that night and Spike had waited outside your house and offered to walk you there. You happily accepted and as you both walked together, you slip your hand into his. You both look at each other silently, his eyes wide, eyebrows raised. But yet the words still can’t form between you. He tried, as did you, to say something. Anything about the way you feel. But the moment passed, and you were needed inside. You step into the magic box, both moving your hands from each other reluctantly. The last thing you needed was the unwanted opinions of the Scoobies.

As soon as you stepped in there was chaos in the store. Willow was chanting, getting louder as the store started to spin around you and sparks started to fly towards the doorway. You ducked out of the way, but Spike wasn’t so fast. In the blink of an eye, Spike was now bald. The bleach blonde hair that you loved so much was gone. His hands went straight to his now hairless head and his eyes widened in horror, profanities shouted towards the entire room. He winced again, remembering you were beside him. He hated thinking you would take the harsh words to heart, trying to avoid the threats in front of you. They all laughed, his jaw tensing as if this brought back some kind of hidden memory. He was embarrassed, feeling as if he was laughable to you now.

You move to him, trying to reassure him, but he ran away. Hurt in his eyes shone directly into yours as if you could feel it yourself. The embarrassment so strong, as if you could feel it as your own. You knew then that you needed to go to him. Show him it didn’t matter what he looked like. That you both lived in Sunnydale where there would always be a threat interrupting your time together. That it didn’t matter to you that things would occasionally go wrong, or not go perfect like they are in the movies. You wanted to show him, that you wanted to be by his side. That you loved him. If you couldn’t say it yet, then you would make sure to show him.

Spike was now in the crypt, dejected and drinking. His hair had come back slowly over the last twenty-four hours. He slumped in his chair, trying to console himself. He never had a chance, was he being stupid? Someone as sweet as you, as caring. Someone as tough and able to handle themselves. What good was he to you? You were perfect. You were everything. God, he had it bad.

There was a knock at the crypt door. He frowned, nobody ever knocked. Nobody except… you.

“Y/n? It’s late, pet… shouldn’t you be tucked up?” He asked You checked the watch on your wrist with a little frown. It wasn’t so late. The sun had only barely set. He cared though, he really cared and that’s why he always checked. He didn’t like you being out after dark so much, despite the way he knew you could handle yourself.

“Uh, yeah, I just wanted to see you” You said, a little smile. He just stared, not sure why you would want to be here. All he had done was embarrass himself and you by trying to get close to you. You moved past him, he hadn’t noticed all of the bags in your hands until you put them down and started to look through them.

“What’s all this?”

“Movie night!” You exclaimed as you setting everything down.

“Movie…?” He started, shaking his head, “Why?”

“It’s a date, Spike” you say matter-of-factly as you brought out a stack of videos you had rented. You finally said something. He was speechless. Looking around at everything you had brought, not able to stop the smile that was tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Is that a flask?”

“For coco and, of course... little marshmallows!” You brandish a little pack from one of the bags with a smile so sweet he felt himself melting quicker than the marshmallows would.

He stared. You had caught him breathing exaggeratedly and starting sentences around you, but never quite finishing them. You hoped it was the same you were feeling. Your eyes betrayed you, having to sort through your mind for a response. You worried if you finally named it, the feeling might leave as quickly as it had built between you. This was exactly how he was feeling, not that you were aware.

“Pet, what’s all this? Really? Not that I’m not pleased to have you gracing my presence, but you don’t belong in a hovel like this..” he muttered, believing strongly that you deserved better than he could give you. He had proved that in the past few months. You stared, a frown on his face.

Could he really think that? Everything he had done, a picnic. Protecting you from the demon. walking you places in the dark. His concern for you, wanting you to never hear his harsh words he saved for the others. You loved this man so much.

He was so thoughtful. Kind, and he really cared. He made you feel safe. He was always soft with you. You didn’t understand how he could think you wouldn’t want to be right here. You never wanted to leave his side. He stared back, not understanding your look. He was expecting you to suddenly realise how much he didn’t deserve you. But this was never a thought in your mind.

You rushed up to him, hand sliding up the side of his face, thumb tracing his cheekbone. Your lips met, the kiss making your stomach flip, your heartbeat was drumming with nerves and excitement. You were convinced he was about to reject you, pull you away from him. But he never did. His hands were by his side for a moment, he was shocked when he felt your soft-lipped kiss. But not for long. No, soon his hands are on you, sliding behind the base of your skull pulling your lips as close as physically possible.  His lips deepening your kiss, unsaid feelings once only apparent through furtive glances and the ways your eyes met was now apparent. You smiled into the kiss, pleased with the way he responded so enthusiastically, glad you hadn’t only been picking up what you felt, assigning your own feelings onto him.

“I love you” he whispered between your lips as your smile widened. He pressed several languid kisses against your lips again, unable to consider his lips not pressing against yours. Lips that were designed for each other, lips that had never dared reveal true feelings before. Threat of cruelty or laughter now felt like a ridiculous dream. Something the world had transpired against you both. Because it was both of you now, the promise sealed in this kiss.

“Finally!” You giggled softly pecking his smiling lips again before confirming, “I love you too”

[got-gendrya]

Wait I had an idea pt.2

Just listen to these they happen in order okay? okay:

- All of the flirting from the show stays because that was cute. But now we have Aegon flirting with Arya like he did in the books (History repeating itself!)

- Arya for sure brings Gendry meals while he works and sits with him because she starts to feel like herself again after the FM.

- I personally want to think Rickon is okay and was just in Skagos livin it up. So I think he comes back to Winterfell with Shaggy and just full body tackles Arya and Jon into the snow out of excitement. (Again, think what ya want).

- At some point Sansa asks Arya why she is spending so much time at the Forge and she replies that she spends time everywhere etc. etc. This leads to Arya realizing that people still have problems with people hanging out with people from different classes. So she changes every convo like this into one about how it could be different. (I think Rick would tease Arya and Jon relentlessly about their crushes because it’s what younger siblings do).

- Everything leading up to the Long Night is the same because I thought that was carried out well. But we should get a scene with Meera and Arya just being bros. Along with other friendships we were robbed of.

- Before the LN we are given a scene with all of the remaining Starks in Ned’s old solar just chillin next to the fire and reminiscing about their childhood. Sansa braids Arya and Rickon’s hair while they do this (I just want them to be a family again).

- On her way to the forge, Aegon (not Jon, the one they left out of the show) stops Arya and kisses her telling her about his feelings but she gets bad vibes so she says no. He tells her to just think about it and she says fine.

- Sansa grabs all of the women, children, and any men that aren’t fighting and they go to a house or something just south of winterfell for safety and to set up a med station. (NO ONE SHOULD HAVE GONE IN THE CRYPTS FOR SAFTEY)

- Rickon probably goes to Lyanna Mormont or someone else and tries to flirt with them about how they have the same weapon of choice.

- Jon goes to see Dany and Arya goes to see Gendry *eyebrow wiggle*. I always got the vibe that Gendry is demisexual but if he isn’t then I really don’t think he would have slept with anyone before Winterfell so that convo was probably far more awkward than it was in the show.

- The LN should have lasted so much longer than it did. I think we should have seen people basically passing out from exhaustion or lack of food (they can’t really stop to eat or sleep because the dead don’t need it but idk about this part).

- When Arya is in the library she grabs the face of the little girl white walker and saves it for later. Things happen kind of like the show but I feel like people would have had different placements.

- At some point one of the generals of the Night King should be killed and we see a small amount of whites drop. When Jon sees the Night King, Arya and a random group should be with him (he wouldn’t have survived that realistically). They’ll be surrounded and decide to fight through the it. Here’s where Ghost and Nymeria really pop off.

- In the middle of the fight Arya pops on the face of the white she took before. The rest is kinda based off of this one comic which is gorgeously drawn.

- After killing the NK I think Arya would be close to hypothermic and need to be rushed somewhere warm. While Bran would start to become more Bran by a little bit?

- GRRM is not putting up plot armor so a decent amount of characters die or are seriously injured but I don’t have the heart to think of that rn.

- There's more just wait

Part 1, Part 3 , Part 4

[spookyseraphs]

supernatural and the x-files (specifically destiel and msr) parallels

this was intended to convert my spn friends to txf and my txf friends to spn and then it got out of hand. i got tired of finding sources for everything, so you’ll just have to trust me, i’m an expert on both subjects.

cas=scully

cas/scully's faith in god vs dean/mulder being non-believers (but believing in the other) (spn) (txf)

cas being the healer, scully being a doctor (spn) (txf)

cas is supposed to guard the michael sword but falls in love vs scully sent to debunk the x-files but falls in love (spn) (txf) 

cas and scully are both immortal (spn) (txf) (also)

cas/scully's families hate dean/mulder (spn) (txf)

cas/scully coming to believe in humanity/the paranormal (spn) (txf)

i'm an angel vs i'm a medical doctor (spn doesn’t have a compilation)   (txf)

they’re not like... the best drivers

hello dean vs mulder it’s me (spn) (txf)

dean=mulder

dean/mulder's fucked up fathers (spn) (txf)

dean/mulder's eldest child syndrome and their unhealthy need to protect their younger sibling (spn) (txf)

dean/mulder being the best in their respective fields (hunting and criminal profiling) and being well known for it

dean/mulder and their porn habits (spn) (txf)

no one has ever hated themselves the way dean and mulder hate themselves (spn) (txf)

dean and mulder both have issues with fire (spn) (txf)

both die, get buried, and then come back

sunflower seeds vs pie

also they both hate nazis (spn) (txf)

yellow fever vs war of the coprophages  (spn) (txf)

ship parallels

blue and green eyes (hazel is close enough)

for some reason theres a pizza man parallel? (spn) (pt 2) (txf) (pt 2)

mulder/krycek vs dean/crowley (spn) (txf) (also)

cas/hannah vs scully/pendrell (poor hannah and pendrell never stood a chance... and died)

also cas/scully get laid ONE TIME (april/ed jerse) and they almost die because of it and then never do it again (spn) (txf)

vs dean/mulder having plenty of love interests/hookups

cas/scully have never done anything wrong ever

dean/mulder... sigh... i love them... but they've made some questionable decisions (i'm looking at you mulder: fucking the vampire THE EP AFTER SCULLY'S ABDUCTION AND WHILE WEARING HER CROSS and dean, kicking cas out and locking jack in the ma’lak box?? really guys?) (spn) (txf)

creators who think their relationship is platonic despite everyone with eyes saying otherwise (spn) (txf)

also the way that neither were ever written or intended to be romantic

the fandoms were split heavily between shippers and non shippers 

they also both had to have scenes changed because they were being played too romantic

a kiss was cut from the episode memento mori and gillovny were always trying to hold hands (x)

jackles forever wanting to cradle misha's face and the cut i love you from the crypt scene (x)

just... gillovny vs cockles in general, i am not a real person shipper, HOWEVER they are both messy (spn) (txf)

their first meetings? iconic. chemistry? immaculate. dean/mulder are super defensive but tbh cas/scully fell in love at first sight (spn) (txf)

they also had no concept of personal space pretty much immediately (spn) (txf)

they have a baby (that has magic powers) together that they lose twice (jack dies and becomes god, william/jackson is adopted and then as far as they know he dies) (spn) (txf)

cas/scully also have a kind of kid (claire/emily) that dean/mulder are willing to co-parent regardless of the fact that they definitely aren't theirs (spn) (txf)

we get an i love you that still doesn't get taken seriously or make them canon (stuck in the middle (with you) and triangle) (spn) (txf)

dean keeping cas's trenchcoat vs mulder keeping scully's cross (spn) (txf)

they go absolutely batshit when the other is in danger or dies/is dying (spn) (txf)

they're also known and used by their enemies as each other's weaknesses (spn) (txf)

msr being mistaken as a couple vs every angel and demon cracking jokes about destiel being a couple (spn) (txf)

skinner and sam just off to the side looking frustrated while msr and destiel are having a couples moment (spn) (txf)

eating each others food (spn) (txf)

appreciating each others interests (spn) (and this one) (txf)

parallels except the roles are swapped

dreamland/small potatoes vs casifer, i just think scully/dean should have realized IMMEDIATELY (spn) (txf)

mulders fight the future speech vs cas's confession (spn) (txf)

they should have kissed and didn't

it almost ambiguously canonizes them both

AND THE SECRET TAPES, the most famous msr kiss isn't an actual canon kiss, it's a blooper of gillian and david making out in front of the camera (two different times) and it wasn't scripted it was literally just them messing around (x)

this is me manifesting jackles dropping the tapes and those tapes having the same energy

they just really love each other (spn) (txf)

non ship/general parallels

leyla harrison vs becky rosen being fandom stand ins (spn) (txf)

they were supposed to end on season 5

Good but bad (absolutely iconic) sci-fi shows

they both had two finales which both sucked

they shared soooo many cast and crew and both filmed in vancouver

they're such similar shows, motw/story episodes, the funny and serious episodes, dealing with the paranormal, they're basically siblings

also siblings in the way that they handle racism, misogyny and consent/rape/bodily autonomy

the supernatural book series vs the movie made about mulder and scully (spn) (txf)

mystery spot vs monday (spn) (txf)

tall tales vs bad blood  (spn) (txf)

 the benders vs home (spn) (txf)

why did both shows use live bees??? (spn) (txf)

the fbi's most wanted and the fbi's most unwanted (also everyone involved looks cute as fbi agents) (spn) (look how cute!) (txf) (cuties!!)

the syndicate vs heaven and the cigarette smoking man vs god

the bunker vs the basement office

every single side character on both shows deserved better!!! most of them literally didn't need to die!!! and i'm still angry!!!

the poor brothers adam milligan and charlie scully existing and then being literally forgotten about until the last season

the fandoms living for things cut from the scripts (spn) (txf)

team free will vs mulder, scully, and skinner

these ones are shippy, but more my opinion than factual

both pairs just keep getting traumatic events dumped on them for absolutely no reason

cas/scully both have major exasperated why do i love this man vibes

absolutely most iconic and slowest slow burn romances of all time and are just the longest games of will they/won't they, baiting, and were never INTENDED to be slow burns

they're always willing to die/kill for each other, however they WILL NOT talk about their feelings under any circumstances

in the field where i died, mulder says that he and scully have been around each other in past lives but never romantically and according to chuck, every other universe's castiel just pulled dean out of hell and listened to his orders

SO in these other lives/universes they were always linked to each other but only in this life/universe do they fall in love

the last seasons really fuck up my favorite characters

dean should not be that shitty to jack OR cas for that matter

and mulder shouldn't have left scully and william (and dearest dana?? DANA?)

and, controversial opinion, but cas/scully could do so much better and deserve so much better but dean/mulder... it's the best they'll ever get

HOWEVER, i feel like their love is MORE powerful BECAUSE cas/scully could do better but they don't want better or normal they want dean/mulder and they will fight to the death for it, it's not the easy choice, it's just what they want

and i say this with all the love in the world for both dean and mulder, but cas could have just followed his orders and returned to heaven like every other version of himself did. scully could have easily found a normal man to settle down and have 2.5 kids with. dean was always going to be stuck in chuck's plans, and mulder absolutely could not just go find a wife to settle down with.

cas/scully put up with SO MUCH SHIT from dean/mulder, while being ALWAYS FAITHFUL to them, it was never the easy option to love these men and stay by their sides, it was hard and they worked for it!!!

they’re both the greatest love story ever told, they tied

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers Annual #12: MOONRISE

September, 1983

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes battle -- the Moon’s Mightiest Heroes... The Uncanny Inhumans!

With the population of the Moon being just the Inhumans plus Uatu, that’s kind of an overly narrow superlative.

But I do love this cover! The Avengers all forming a big A? Good stuff!

So the timeline of this annual is all kinds of screwed up.

It was released in September and published in November (whatever that means) but its supposed to pre-date Fantastic Four #254.

FF #254 and Avengers #232 overlap. In fact, FF #254 coming out in May and Avengers #232 share the scene where She-Hulk bonks off an invisible wall with what seems to be the same dialogue.

But despite meeting Reed in this Annual, he doesn’t recognize new Captain Marvel in Fantastic Four #256.

But this has to happen before Avengers #233 and FF #254-256. Due to changes that are going to take place in and after that story but also has the FF show up in costume changes that will take place during the listed period.

Its also weird from the Avengers standpoint because Starfox is part of the Avengers in this annual but he just joined in #232 and got sent on his first mission which happens at the same time as She-Hulk is bonking off that invisible wall.

So it makes no sense anywhere but I’ll cover it here to get it out of the way so I can cover Avengers #233 and FF #254-256 in one post, heavily summarizing down on the FF as its not as relevant.

So long story short: this issue fits weirdly in the timeline but lets get it over with.

The issue starts with the Avengers being secretly escorted before the UN Security Council FOR THE TRIAL INFORMAL HEARING OF THE FANTASTIC FOUR!

Why?

Reasons.

Inhuman-related reasons.

In an area usually masked with lunar dust, the SHIELD space platform discovered a whole ass city on the Moon, distinct from the whole ass city that already existed on the Moon.

A city full of all kinds of fantastical life.

Guy who is not Gyrich: “Clearly, the region heretofore known only as the Blue Area, is not only habitable -- it is inhabited by a race of beings possessed of incredible science, technology, and, it appears, superhuman powers! Beings, honored ambassadors, who are not human!”

Ambassador Gregorovich: “Da! Inhabiting Earth’s Moon in a strategic orbital position -- but not human!”

Mr Fantastic: “No, Ambassador Gregorovich, the occupants of the city of Attilan are not human. They are... the INHUMANS!”

Reed... why do you think this is helpful?

He then decides to give their entire ass backstory. Explaining how they were humans once but then aliens came and did some experiments on early human and created a genetic offshoot who became known as the Inhumans.

How the Inhumans kept their numbers low and avoided contact with humans by hiding in various places, including the Himalayas.

The Chinese ambassador complains that the Fantastic Four knew about this entire ass city in China’s backyard but didn’t report it.

Reed defends the decision because the Inhumans just wanted to be left alone. And also that for a long while the city was stuck under a dome and incapable of posing a threat to the outside world.

How when the dome was broken by Black Bolt’s mighty voice, the Inhumans continued to want to be left alone but were eventually attacked by a group called the Enclave while at the same time being struck weak to a mysterious illness called POLLUTION.

And how to escape POLLUTION, the Inhumans just fuckin’ moved their entire ass city to the Moon.

Cap: “The perfect solution!”

Wasp: “Was it, Cap?”

She-Hulk: “If it were, I have a hunch we wouldn’t be here today!”

Heh. Love the peanut gallerying.

The Security Council objects too because the FF enabled a secret super human race to live on the Moon, which is a great strategic location for attacking the Earth. Just look at any number of sci-fi.

Of course, this argument is slightly undermined by the Inhumans and their ridiculously long track record of minding their own business.

It’s pretty notable that when modern human pollution threatened their entire race, they just shrugged and moved to the Moon.

But despite that, the Security Council needs reassurance that the Inhumans pose no threat to Earth.

The Fantastic Four offer to go to the Moon and talk to the Inhumans but the Security Council says no on the basis of ‘you’ve done enough already’ and says that the Avengers will go instead.

I was wondering what any of this had to do with the Avengers!

I’m actually surprised that the entire Security Council agrees to send the Avengers. Earlier, Ambassador Gregorovich was complaining that Security Council had called American Superhero Team Avengers to the hearing of American Superhero Team the Fantastic Four.

You’d expect him to at least insist that some Russian superheroes be sent too.

Which would be cool, honestly.

The Soviet Super-Soldiers had been introduced a couple years before. Coulda done a combination Soviet Super-Soldiers and Avengers mission. Or heck, superheroes from each member of the  Security Council.

I understand why Mantlo didn’t do that since this is pretty much a done in one Avengers vs Inhumans slugfest and what I”m proposing really complicates things. But he also created the Super-Soldiers so it just feels like it works.

Anyway, the Security Council sends the Avengers on a fact finding mission to determine whether the UN will enter into a treaty with the Inhumans on the Moon.

As ya do.

The Avengers travel to the MOON in one of the space quinjets that they have for flying to the Moon.

Also, at some point they picked up Scarlet Witch and Vision. I guess for the former’s ties to the Inhumans through Quicksilver.

The Avengers are met on the MOON by the Inhumans Royal Family, aka the only important ones. I know that there’s an entire city of these dinguses but whenever anyone says “the Inhumans” they usually just mean the royal family.

Anyway, its been a while since the Avengers and Inhumans had a get together, so Cap introduces the Inhumans to the Newest Avengers: She-Hulk, Captain Marvel (2.0), and Starfox.

We get some New To This Sort of Thing from Monica as she marvels, captainly, that she’s actually on the Moon!

Then Crystal shows off her new baby Luna. Named for the Moon. Like how sometimes people name babies Gaia, no doubt. Or Tara.

She-Hulk: “Quicksilver and Crystal’s baby? Oh, gee! She’s so... cute!”

Wasp: “You sound almost envious, She-Hulk!”

Wasp, pls. Just let Jen compliment someone’s baby without ascribing motives.

Quicksilver also has an awkward greeting with Scarlet Wanda and Vision.

Because actually they were on the Moon recently. Where they learned that Magneto Is Secretly Wanda and Pietro’s Father.

And Wanda is not really ready to come to terms with that.

If she waits long enough, she’ll never have to because the retcon pendulum swung the other way eventually and now he’s not their father. And since he was an albatross hanging around their necks, necks that weren’t unburdened by albatrosses already, I can’t say I’m upset about it.

And Also: he never did any parenting of them. He swooped in when they were full ass grown adults and tried to act like their relationship meant anything aside from the whole coercing into terrorism and making Wanda sexy dance for him parts.

Most of the people that are big upset that Magneto was retconned away from being their dad never gave a shit about the man who actually raised them.

Poor Django Maximoff.

Anyway, that’s a long rant to establish that now is when John Byrne’s masterplan to have Magneto and Quicksilver related because they have the same haircut finally came to fruition.

His plan to make Sandman and Norman Osborn related is still pending at the time of this issue.

And the impact of that (Magneto reveal) is a recent bombshell to Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, and Vision.

It doesn’t really affect anything in this issue though.

Annnyway.

Medusa asks whether the Avengers really popped up to the Moon for a social call but Cap says sadly no.

That they’re here because the various Earth governments aren’t happy that the Inhumans are looking down on them from space.

Gorgon and Karnak are a bit upset about this because they had to flee Earth because of all the human pollutions humans were polluting and now humans have sent people to hassle them at their change of address.

Wanda and Wasp smooth things over by saying that they’re just here to assure each other that humans (and mutants and etc) and peacefully coexist with Inhumans across the small vastness of space.

Black Bolt steps forward to react to this offer by doing a shrug which is interpreted as the open hands of peace and friendship.

Wasp: “The open hands of peace and friendship? We’ll tell the nations of Earth they’ve nothing to fear, Black Bolt!”

Cool beans.

Although, I’m pretty sure that the UN expected more than a... uh... ‘we cool?’ exchange.

I believe the term used was “fact-finding mission.” But whatever.

Lets instead talk about fashion, briefly.

Most of the Avengers and Inhumans are wearing the sort of thing that they always wear. But Wasp is wearing an outfit I’ll call ‘the Magneto variant of her ripoff Molecule Man costume.’

The one usually in green and purple except its in red and purple. It looks good on her. But her new (80s?) haircut looks good too. Its maybe a lady’s mullet? But whatever it is, Janet is rocking it.

On the other hand we have She-Hulk who is wearing an aerobics-chic type costume complete with legwarmers. She also was interested in an aerobics instructor job several issues ago. I do not know what’s going on with her lately.

The 80s, maybes.

The Inhumans take the Avengers on a tour of Moon Attilan wherein Lockjaw becomes very enamored with Starfox and would, if this were a modern comic where sensibilities have shifted more crass, probably try humping his leg.

He is very fond of Eros.

Anyway, the Inhumans decide to take the Avengers to the Royal Crypt because I don’t know.

Its kind of morbid for a tour of the city to show the Avengers the crystal coffin that contains the dead, deceased body corpse of Maximus (the Mad). Like, what the heck, the Inhumans.

I guess its important for plot reasons to establish that its here.

But what the heck, the Inhumans??

Medusa exposits that Maximus is the one who initiated the Enclave attack on Attilan that preceded moving to the Moon! But while all of the Inhumans were stricken with pollution sickness, Maximus seemingly had a change of heart and turned against the Enclave, saving Attilan at the cost of his own life.

Maximus is very like a dumber, less charismatic Loki in a lot of most of the ways.

Having doomed and then saved the Inhumans, they honor him by putting him in a crystal box right at the front of the crypt so everyone can look at it.

Weird.

When the Inhumans and Avengers are leaving the crypt, Lockjaw becomes confused and intrigued by a familiar scent from the crystal box and then doggy glares suspiciously at Black Bolt.

Then, as the doors to the crypt are shut, Maximus’ eyes open as he screams internally forever.

So that’s a thing.

A kind of easy to unravel the mystery of thing.

Because, just saying, the Inhumans have the same plots over and over. And I mean narrative plots and scheme plots.

With everything be settled forever by one tour where they looked at a dead body and the Inhumans definitely being no threat to Earth at all ever no way, She-Hulk vows that she’ll use all of her legal experience to present a brief to the UN defending the Inhumans’ right to inhabit the Moon.

In fairness, I don’t think they signed the treaty saying not to weaponize space so...

Now: its time to party down.

Annnnnd its kind of a half-hearted affair.

Half the people are standing around moodily instead of partying. Like Quicksilver and Medusa are glaring at each other. Black Bolt is doing what Black Bolt do and just sitting on his throne.

I know he can’t talk but he can dance, right? Or does that shatter mountains too?

In fact, only She-Hulk and Triton are dancing and Triton is ruining it by making fish puns.

Wait, this side of the party looks a lot cooler!

What the heck, was there an option to have this sweet butterfly lady as a recurring Inhuman all along and they never took it? What the heck!

Anyway, a few of the background Inhumans including sweet butterfly lady are all over Starfox and his come-hither psychic powers.

Meanwhile, Cap takes some time to stare at Black Bolt not enjoying himself.

Scarlet Witch goes over to Medusa and verbally notices she looks bummed. She confesses that Black Bolt has become aloof and distant since they came to the... Moon...

HOW THE HECK WOULD YOU TELL?

Anyway. Wanda tells Vision she’s concerned for those two crazy kids but Vision wants nothing to do with anyone else’s drama.

Scarlet Witch: “Vision, I’m concerned for Medusa and Black Bolt.”

Vision: “As am I... But it is their affair... For them to resolve. We are here simply as ambassadors of peace, my wife, nothing more.”

Scarlet Witch: “But...”

Vision: “Nothing more.”

She-Hulk decides that the thing to do at a party is obviously to go pet the host’s dog. I mean, that’s why people socialize, right? To pet dogs?

But Lockjaw is upset over something and teleports next to Black Bolt so he can growl in his general direction.

The narration says “But what Lockjaw knows... he dares not tell... yet.”

I hope this isn’t during the period where it was canon that Lockjaw wasn’t an Inhuman dog, he was an Inhuman that looked like a dog that everyone treated as a pet despite being as intelligent as any of them.

That was a weird time.

Thankfully retconned to be just a prank that Karnak and Gorgon were pulling on the Thing.

Weird prank but sure.

Later, after the party, Medusa wakes from a fitful sleep to stare dramatically into the night and drama fret over the rift growing between her and Black Bolt.

But Black Bolt has gone to the crypt where he leans in to speak to Maximus’ crystal coffin.

Weirdly, him speaking doesn’t break everything like it usually is known to do.

Perhaps a cluuuue.

Black Bolt (?) asks Maximus (?) if he’s sleeping well and then tells him he must be off to the secret staircase hidden under the crystal coffin.

As ya do.

Elsewhere, Scarlet Witch wakes with a start because her vaguely magically mutant powers have given her a DREAM VISION OF EARTH UNDER ATTACK

Also: I’m always amused when the comic remembers that Vision’s costume is a costume that he can take off. Enjoy some Vision fanservice.

Vision tries to tell Wanda that it was just a dream and that she shouldn’t be afraid of dreams because Logic but then Captain America runs by the room shouting AVENGERS ASSEMBLE because a distress call came from SHIELD about the EARTH being UNDER ATTACK.

Just like Wanda’s dream.

Maybe try not to invalidate Wanda, Vizh.

Anyway, moon rocks are being flung at Earth and you’ll never guess from where!

From the Moon!

The Avengers are obviously not really but kinda implying that the Inhumans might know something about it

But before pointing fingers, Wasp tells Thor to go intercept the moon rocks since he’s the only one fast and buff enough to do it. Also he can hold his breath like a real long time.

Because, yeah, he explicitly has to take a deep breath of Moon air before launching into space.

Out in space, Thor sees where the moon rocks are being launched from (doesn’t look like from Attilan so that’s something) but he’s too busy launching Mjolnir to pulverize some rocks and punching other rocks to follow them to their source.

Also, onslought.

That’s possibly a typo but I like to believe that onslought is just how its spelled in Marvel so that Onslaught is an even stupider name.

But the onslought of rocks is too rapid for Thor to make any headway. For every rock he shatters, there’s two more behind it.

So he’s out of the plot and punching rocks for a while.

Meanwhile, now its the time to point fingers.

The Inhumans are getting pretty defensive at the suggestion that the moon rocks that are being launched from the moon might be from the moon and therefore that the Inhumans might possibly be involved as they are the only ones who live on the Moon except Uatu. And Uatu wouldn’t launch a moon rock unless he could find a way that it wouldn’t be counting as interfering.

Like maybe if it landed on Frank Castle’s family.

Gorgon: “I do not like being accused of betrayal, Karnak!”

Quicksilver: “Nor do I like hearing my adopted home slandered!”

She-Hulk: “Yeah, well, names won’t hurt you -- but those moonstones are gonna break Earth’s bones!”

Unlikely! Definitely be an extinction event but Earth has strong bones.

Also, what a weird thing to say, She-Hulk!

So in quick defense of the Inhumans who are probably obviously not behind this: if they were going to throw rocks at Earth, they’re definitely smart enough to wait until the Avengers are home instead of doing it while they’re within range to punch.

They’re slightly too smart for that.

Crystal asks Scarlet Witch and Vision to mediate since they have ties on both sides but Black Bolt arrives before any mediation can happen.

And Black Bolt clears everything right up!

By declaring war on Earth and ordering the execution of the Avengers!

Yup, no ambiguity there!

But surely, the Inhumans won’t just jump to obey an unjust order, right? Surely, they will object and demand an explanation for this new course of action that’s practically a 180 from his previous position?

Hahah, of course they don’t. These fucking idiots.

Gorgon: “If Black Bolt commands undying enmity between our races, it must be with reason!”

God.

So while the Avengers are still trying to be like ‘lets use our words, people’ the Inhumans just leap right into attacking.

Even Lockjaw jumps forward and locks his jaws on Cap’s shield.

Pietro frets, not knowing where he fits in.

Quicksilver: “Where do I stand? I am not an Inhuman, but a mutant! My child is human, tied to Earth!”

Crystal: “But Attilan is your home, my husband!”

Unspoken: ‘And what the fuck, I’m your wife!’

Quicksilver is convinced though and runs into the fray. Wanda protests so obviously Crystal starts attacking her.

Wow, the Inhumans come off as dicks in this.

So some pointless fight scene summarization.

Starfox ends up rolling around on the ground with Triton where Starfox gives Triton an orgasm. I assume. He pleasure blasts his brain making the guy laugh uncontrollably and collapse into a fountain. And then Triton gets Starfox all wet. By splashing him with the fountain water.

Quicksilver tries to punch Captain Marvel but she’s faster than him.

Because she can go lightspeed.

In fact, she makes him look like a dumb joke just dodging around and then punching him in the back of the head. And also, like, he’s the resident speedster of Marvel and he looks like a slow joke next to Monica Rambeau and Silver Surfer. And they had him flight Flash once and that was like Flash was challenging a baby to a fist fight, just remarkably mismatched.

But since there’s kind of a back and forth dealie going on, he spins her right round like a record round round round by running around her real fast when she makes the mistake of standing still.

Meanwhilelsewhere, Vision goes up against Karnak. And trash talks Karnak about how dumb it is trying to punch an intangible or diamond man. And then he fists Karnak with that fist thing he does sometimes. But Karnak vibrates his hand so he can smack intangible Vision.

Yup.

But nearby, Cap is still trying to wrestle his shield out of Lockjaw’s mouth and the dog flings him into Karnak, knocking the guy down.

The fight turns for the Avengers. She-Hulk punches out Gorgon quipping “steel toes can’t compensate for a glass jaw!”

Captain Marvel blasts out some of her energy, which knocks Quicksilver on his ass.

Annnnnd. Wasp never bothered to fight Medusa. Because designated girl fights are passe. But mostly because eh fuck it.

Wasp: “What of us, Medusa? Are we to fight, too? Will you blindly obey Black Bolt -- though you know some force upon the Moon is attacking Earth? Don’t you owe it to yourself to find out who -- and why... rather than accept the rash dictate of your leader that this battle must go on?!”

Medusa: “Though we have chosen Black Bolt as our king, Wasp, every Inhuman of the Royal Family is of equal rank. That status gives us the right to question Black Bolt’s decrees should we come to doubt their vision! Thus, I choose to exercise my right, Black Bolt, and pose the question... WHY??!”

Now, see, Gorgon? If you had bothered to think with your head brains instead of leaping right to “NEVER QUESTION LEADER” maybe you wouldn’t have had your block dented by She-Hulk. Think about that for next time.

Also, good on Wasp for being one of the best Avengers leaders. She’s super good at not jumping in half-assed.

She-Hulk decides Black Bolt is taking too long and grabs him and demands he speak.

Which would be a hilariously ill-thought out in other circumstances.

Black Bolt: “Unhand me, you -- you savage!”

Everyone is like ‘OH SHIT’ and tries to duck and cover but no mass destruction and loss of life occurs.

Captain America: “Black Bolt spoke -- and we’re all alive!”

Medusa: “IMPOSTER!”

Except its less an imposter and more someone stole Black Bolt’s body, apparently? At least that’s what Medusa figures.

Are... his powers not tied to his body? What??

Anyway, Lockjaw is finally like ‘my moment is here!’ I guess because he leads the AvengersInhumans to the Royal Crypt and Maximus’ cool crystal corpse box.

Captain America: “Of course! That’s the only logical answer!”

Because duh.

Medusa puts together that if Maximus is Black Bolt, Black Bolt must be Maximus so Maximus must not be dead. And then chokes ‘Black Bolt’ until he admits it.

Pretty hardcore, Medusa.

Karnak and Vision combine their respective powers to break the apparently self-healing harder than diamond crystal coffin.

That’s a lot of stuff that this coffin does but I get it. If you’re bearing Maximus and for some reason don’t want to just bury his body in concrete, you do the next best thing and put him in a self-healing diamond crystal coffin to minimize the chances that he’ll inevitably come back from the dead like he did do.

The freed ‘Maximus’ stalks towards ‘Black Bolt’ to real Maximus’ fear and begging that surely Black Bolt wouldn’t harm his own body.

And I’m further confused about how the powers work because Black Bolt in Maximus doesn’t say anything here so maybe the power is with his mind but also as he sternly corners Maximus in Black Bolt, the tuning fork on Black Bolt’s body’s forehead starts crackling with an awesome power.

So is the power still in the body? Or what?

Anyway, ‘Maximus’ lays hands on ‘Black Bolt’ and this causes their minds to swap back. Thankfully, considering how confusing all these qualifiers were beginning to get.

Now with everyone in the right bodies, its time for Maximus to Explain It All.

So back in that story where the Enclave attacked Attilan, Maximus was part of the plan scheming because he wanted to overthrow his brother and become the ruler. As is his repetitive goal.

But the Enclave pressed the advantage over Maximus’ objections when the pollution sickness made the Inhumans to weak to fight back. They were even going to execute Medusa.

So Maximus turned on the Enclave, used an improperly shielded giant laser, and ended up in a coma.

Maximus whines about how the Inhumans should have listened to him and subjugated humanity to stop their evil polluting ways so that the Inhumans wouldn’t have been forced to the Moon.

But ironically, getting forced to the Moon worked out for the dingus because there was a powerful crystal on the Moon which woke Maximus from his coma and gave him the new never before possible power to swap minds with Black Bolt.

And then like a guy that makes good decisions that aren’t bad, Maximus got in contact with the Enclave again.

Gorgon: “You again allied yourself with our human foes?”

Triton: “For good reason is he called Maximus the Mad!”

Or at least Maximus the bad at decisions.

Maximus: “No! Don’t you see? Our strategic location, combined with the Enclave’s tactical expertise, make us invincible!”

In his own defense, Maximus argues that the Enclave is going to bombard Earth with rocks until humanity is mostly dead and then the Inhumans can go back to Earth.

Presumably... I mean... after all that nuclear winter from all the stuff blasted up into the atmosphere?

Maximus is supposedly a genius but ehhhh I don’t see it.

He is squirrely though because he uses his psionic powers that he has to freeze everyone in place and then runs off, all but cackling.

And like a smart person, he flees right to the hidden base where Alpha Primitives have been pressed into the service of the Enclave.

He tells them that they’ve got to flee because the jig is up but the Enclave are less than convinced in their salmon jumpsuits.

An Enclave Guy: “What?! Just run off and abandon our meteoroid launchers?!”

Meteoroid launcher is a fun name for death from above.

Another one points out, hey wait Maximus screwed us over once, maybe he’s lying again.

And summoned by the opportunity to deliver a sweet line, Captain America (and others) are teleported in by Lockjaw.

Captain America: “You can believe him, mister -- this time, Maximus is telling the truth!”

Yeah. Maximus led the Avengers slash Inhumans right to the Enclave.

He’s not smart! Or he has that INT WIS division going on.

The Enclave don’t get a chance to try to fight (and thank god, we’ve had enough fight scene in this book) because Black Bolt just blasts them all in one go, resolving the plot in one panel.

Meanwhile, out in space, Thor is like oh good people have stopped throwing rocks at me. He was holding his breath this whole time after all and even he would have needed to reenter atmosphere soon.

With the Enclave in varying degrees of sprawled on their asses, the Inhumans can turn their attention back to Maximus for the assholery de jour.

He’s not repentant.

Maximus: “You don’t dare attack me, Gorgon! I am your brother, Black Bolt! I have as much right as you to the throne of Attilan! Like you, I wish only the best for our people! But, fool that you are, you refuse to admit our superiority to the humans! It is our destiny to establish dominion over the Earth! We must not be content with exile on this barren world! We must reoccupy the Earth! To do otherwise would be to deny our heritage! You know I’m right, Black Bolt! Admit it! Admit it!”

Black Bolt just turns his back on Maximus and gestures the others to take him away.

Since he never talks, he’s the master of the non-verbal shut down.

With the shooting meteors at Earth and also Maximus plots tied up, the Avengers get back to why they’re up here in the first place.

Wasp: “What reassurance does the Earth have that they won’t be attacked again?”

Gorgon: “What reassurance have we that the Earth will not attack us? Humanity is better equipped for war than we! And it was the human scientists of the Enclave that fomented this battle!”

Medusa: “Of our people, none save Maximus have ever waged war against mankind. The Inhumans will ever seek the ways of peace. That is the solemn pledge of Black Bolt and the family royal. Tell that to your leaders... and ask if they can truly pledge the same!”

Okay, fair enough, fair enough. The Enclave were humans but on the other hand, it was Maximus who invited them to the Moon.

So maybe guarantee that you’ll keep Maximus on a leash?

Or do you not want to make promises you know you can’t keep?

Maybe at least promise you all won’t immediately jump to action if Black Bolt suggests that it’s time to destroy humanity. Please. Apply some critical thinking.

Annnnyway, the Avengers promise to deliver this message to the UN and “pray that our fellow man is wise enough to reply in kind!”

But seriously. Maximus causes like. 70% of the Inhumans’ problems. Get a better handle on him, you dipshits.

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