#there seems to be a little more nuance to some expressions

[tjerra14]

help

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[gothwineaunts]

Wow, hello!

So, I was actually feeling pretty motivated to write this post yesterday. But things have gotten exponentially worse, and I admit the pressure is getting to me. There seem to be a ton of expectations surrounding what I should be saying here, in order to… I guess, absolve myself? As if there’s a checklist people want me to go through to perform the “perfect” creator apology. But, I don’t see the point. I care a lot about this community and I think you deserve something a lot more sincere than some hollow chat-gpt apology. I understand that that’s foolish, on my part. Things are done that way so often because they work. But what you’ll find throughout this post, is that I’m kind of an idiot about some things. I’m stubborn and hard-headed and a little bit pretentious. And so, what I’m planning to do here is to simply tell you the truth about what happened. No cherry picking. All my mistakes, but also the context that goes with them. And at the end, my formal apology. This is a long and winding tale with a lot of characters. I’m going to be sharing some usernames as we go, in the interest of clarity and transparency. You’ll understand why with the context. But please do not seek these people out. Don’t pick fights with them. It will only make everything worse, for all involved.

Cool? Cool. But first I need to address the elephant in the room. This will probably seem like irrelevant drama at first, but this is the nuance and background that I wasn’t adequately able to articulate the night before last. In more ways than one, this is a story told in twos. The first set of twos is you, the readers. Who you are, and what you’re hoping to find out in this post.

1.      The overwhelming majority of you, are earnestly wanting to understand what has happened in the Nevermore Discord. You are concerned that I am not who you hoped I was. You are disappointed, and I understand why. To you, I am so sorry. I want to say that things are not as bad as they seem, but that is not for me to decide. You will need to draw your own conclusions from the words I write. And I understand, whatever you choose to do next.

2.      And there is a small, but incredibly vocal minority of people who are absolutely living for this. They are spreading complete fabrications with no screenshots to speak of. Horrible, horrible accusations. People who are more excited about watching a dumpsterfire than they are about the series that brought them here in the first place. I’m not going to attempt to cater to those people in this post. Because nothing will ever be good enough. Everything that can be taken in bad faith will be taken in bad faith. It would be pointless. But you’ll see them in the comments and reblogs. This is a known group to not only myself, but many others. I will share some of their names in a later section so you know who to watch for. They will make a lot of noise around this post because they’ve been trying to make something like this happen for actual years. And now that I had a genuinely concerning response that good people reasonably want me to explain, they’re lunging at the chance to throw absolutely anything at the wall. It’s parasocial levels of hatred. This is some deep and horrible lore.

The next set of twos is how two things can be true at the same time. And that is exactly what is going on here, in this situation. Let me be really clear, because I don’t want either truth to be lost in my explanation as they are intrinsically linked to one another.

1.      I did a downright terrible job explaining myself in the Discord when people started asking about crimson. I can give you all kinds of contributing factors for this, and I might later. But none of them really matter. It was incredibly careless of me to use “egging them on” and “cried wolf”  to describe what I understood. At the time I was really laser-focused on expressing what happened as simply and quickly as possible because the channel replies were paused and I felt like everyone was just waiting for me to be finished with my message. But after stepping back, I immediately understood how badly I messed up, because of course these idioms are routinely weaponized against survivors of SA and CSA. That is not how I intended to use them. It was an unfortunate case of one thing looking and sounding like another thing. Incredibly ham-fisted and irresponsible on my part. To the survivors who read my words and felt that it echoed their past experiences, I’m heartbroken that I did that to you. That lapse of judgement was a betrayal to both you and me. I don’t know where my head went, and I’m just blown away by my own lack of awareness in that message. So for that I am and will continue to be sorry.

2.      The second thing that can be true is that, while you are all absolutely owed an explanation and an apology, there are also some people amongst you who are using this fuck-up on my part as a springboard to take me down.  These people have been trying to get a call out post to pop off about me for at least a year, and they have been very quick to jump into the reblogs and comments about this very serious topic with complete lies and slander. Just, anything that might stick to the wall. We’ll address this later on as well. But please understand that me discussing the harassment I’ve faced from these groups is not at the expense of me also owning up to my faults and taking the proper accountability.

And the last set of twos is one I’ve alluded to in the first sets, concerning a pair of toxic side-servers that ran adjacent to the main Nevermore Discord. Completely unofficial cliques. And invisible to myself and Flynn and our mod team. We were eventually made aware that both of them were breaking laws and Discord ToS in ways that leaked into our server and affected our members negatively. As such, both groups were mass-banned. And the cliques are the ones running a majority of the discourse you’ve been seeing here, because while they are formally banned from the discord, we have absolutely no say in their participation on Tumblr. Now, keep in mind. Both of these groups were uncovered after crimson was banned the first time. That’s important later.

Clique #1

My understanding of the first group is that it started as a gaming server for people who met one another through the Nevermore Discord. I don’t know when or why it started being used to talk shit about other readers, but I do know that it got really vicious. And it was sort of an open secret for long before I knew anything about it. I found out after that there were a lot of people passively in this server, just observing. It was that much of a spectacle.

Now, this clique had been pretty rude. Like they’d try to start fights with me in the discord fairly often, both in the Patreon and free spaces. But it wasn’t grounds for dismissal until we found out about the baiting and the alts.  These people had a lot of grievances, but one really united them: they were extremely upset about anyone who would ship Prospero.

Many of you know, that Prospero is an aromantic character, canonically. And you may notice that canonically, he has no apparent love interest. But this group wanted to make sure other readers were not thinking about Prospero in relationships, or creating ship content of him for any reason on the grounds that it would be considered a “proship.” I told them (and I stand on this) that it’s not up to them to police the thoughts of other readers, and that aromantic people have widely varying lifestyles and experiences and do not need to be infantilized that way.

This turned out to be a bad move on my part, because it brought with it an onslaught of alt accounts coming in and "innocently" kicking up what I now refer to as the “prosp-aro” debate every time they had the chance. But because of this and what a common occurrence it was, we started being able to pick out the alts. And we realized that this group of people had been using the same alt accounts with different names to antagonize certain readers they’d decided they hated, and it had gone on for a long time.

I did a lot of investigative work in dms trying to figure out who all was responsible for the harassment, and settled on a list that was vetted by three different people who knew about the clique. And all three of these people insisted that, while Laci was in the group and in a lot of the screencaps saying pretty dubious things, that she was good people. So I believe them, and let Laci stay. This group was banned on April 3, 2024, and contained the following users:

-          lilnatx (nat)

-          suitino (sushi)

-          jj_the_jet_plane (layden)

-          rivsticks (jasper)

-          atheimee (athena)

-          jinxs.com (lanx/jinx)

-          smartestginger (nico)

-          thereallandofbugs (bugs)

-          rosienemui (rosie)

These were the names they were known by on the Discord. I don’t have the Tumblr accounts tied to these identities. But some might be the same. I know a lot of them are here.  It should be noted that jinx was later unbanned due to pressure from Laci that they had been banned in error, after the fact. We allowed them back in after a few days as a favor to Laci since the situation seemed like it was very stressful for her. This would prove to be yet another a mistake since, as you have probably seen in the screenshots from the night before last, jinx rapidly escalated things to another level while I was trying to figure out how to handle crimson’s unbanning and subsequent rebanning an hour later.

Clique #2

Phew. Still with me? Great. The second group we needed to ban was one that actually started long before the first one, but was a lot smaller and comparatively more subtle. This group, to my knowledge, cropped up around the time that ep. 39 of Nevermore was released. (11/10/22) We knew about this group but not who all was involved in it or in what capacity for a very long time. They would consistently post things on Tumblr trying to start a scandal. I recall posts alleging that we were racists, or SA apologists, or that we were sending death threats to a random confessions account.

To be clear, these allegations are completely false. This clique will say anything. Like a recent post one of them put up during this discourse said that hiwi (our mod) is both a r*pe apologist and a childhood friend of mine and that’s the only reason she hasn’t been banned. Hiwi is absolutely nothing of the sort, and I have never met her in person. In fact, she lives on the other side of the continent.

Now, this clique is a little different than the first. The first, to my knowledge, was a group of friends that got toxic and felt morally superior about their opinions and it all kind of got away from them. The vibe was a little catty, I guess. Gossipy. But this clique has more of a stalker vibe. It’s dark.

They’ve had it out specifically for me for as long as I can remember. And some of them (at least one, at all times) would subscribe to our patreon, both to sow dissent in our stream chats and also to leak literally all the content back to the others, including me talking about random shit like what I ate for lunch. Just so they could like. Laugh about it, I guess. I’ll never understand why. [Editing note: because in the final moments of proofreading this post I see one of these people has made some master post about what a terrible person I am? A lot of those screenshots are from Patreon channels and the guy STILL has them laying around. I’m telling you, they stole everything that wasn’t nailed down.] 

The biggest grievance this clique had is that any ship with Montresor is an “SA fetish ship” because to them he is a r*pist because of how he made Ada bark (?) and since Montrada is canon, that means we are supporters of SA, and that Morella and Ada should be together instead. Listen, I’ll level with you, this one baffles me. I don’t even know how to begin to untangle it. But if you see a lot of vitriol about us being SA apologists from these users, it’s because Montresor exists. That’s pretty much it.

You can ask them for screencaps ‘til you’re blue in the face, but unless they build fake ones from the ground up, they’re never going to be able to back up their wild claims. Simply put, they’re provocateurs, and they use the scariest words they can to whip people up into a panic.

We became aware that they were leaking patreon content when one of them was caught publicly referring to things that were being said behind a paywall when we knew they weren’t a patron. It unraveled from there.  People who knew about their antics shared screenshots and information with us, and we finally realized the scope of the clique’s hatred and banned whoever was even left in the Nevermore Discord. But they continue to be active in the community on tumblr. You’ll have seen them around. They were banned on 5/11/2024 and the names involved are as follows (again, a mishmash of discord names, nicknames, and tumblr accounts):

- percy (gremlinguy145 on tumblr)

- queenmorningrose (annabel-lee-nevermore on tumblr)

- spoopycactus630 (spoopy-nevermore-dump on tumblr)

- grif/horrorshow (conscience-grim on tumblr)

- unreqiknizd

- duke aralt (westofthestyx)

- eden (sapphic-mad-scientist on tumblr)

- priemium

Again I’d like to reiterate. The point in sharing these names is not to incite any sort of response against these people. But they are folding themselves into the fray and doing what they can to whip everyone else up into a mob, and all as we’re talking about a discord server that they have been banned from for months now. The above context is also relevant for the next section, which is why you’re all here in the first place.

What the hell happened with Crimson?

I hope it’s not confusing, but now we’re going back to 3/14/2024, before anything I just outlined above had come to light. The cliques were quietly doing their harassment and baiting and raiding and whatever-the-hell behind the scenes, but Flynn and I and the mods were blissfully unaware of how bad it was getting. We get a dm from Laci. The same Laci who was part of Clique #1 and was rescued from being banned with the others by her friends outside the group. Jinx’s friend, who managed to get them unbanned as well. You have probably seen these screencaps already, but I will show them to you again, just in case.

Sufficed to say, we were immediately alarmed by the information Laci shared in her DM with us. Now, I want to be very clear about this because it’s been lost in the game of telephone. What Laci outlines in her dm to me, were the events that occurred between six users (including crimson) in a group chat with minors. Everyone in the evidence was censored (pfp and username), as was the image that crimson showed them. When I asked, Laci agreed to give me one name of one of the minors in the dm. I’ll call them Alice, but that is not their real name. I asked if I could talk to Alice about this, I was told by Laci, no. Alice doesn’t want to talk. I was like, ok I understand, that’s fine. 

I hope it makes sense when I say that it is not feasible for us to moderate the things that happen in peoples’ dms. As you’ve seen above, the mod team doesn’t usually get involved with drama unless whatever is happening is directly affecting the experience people are having in the Nevermore Discord because that is all we can see and the only place we have any real authority.  But this was obviously a special case. We banned crimson very quickly without asking any follow-up questions, because of course we did!? I’ve seen people say I’m harboring or defending crimson or that we’re buddies but we barely spoke, ever. They were a stranger to me then, and they still are now.

But something about the entire situation wasn’t adding up to me. And I want to be clear that none of this is in any way meant to discredit csa survivors, I’m really just trying to put you in my headspace and walk you through my thought process. But I found that the evidence was just, sort of strange. Laci started her dm explaining that she found this information out because she and a group of people were investigating crimson for ‘art tracing’ which felt, to me, like a bizarre non-sequitur and totally irrelevant next to the evidence of them showing nsfw content to minors. Petty, kind of. Like I wanted to ask – why were you doing that in the first place? People trace Flynn’s art all the time. As long as they’re not selling it, it’s not a big deal.

Most of the crops are from a PC but the windows are oddly small, and only contain a couple messages at a time. Some have American formatted time and some have European formatted time. So different users, I assume? The names were blotted out, which I would understand for a public call-out but not for a private report to the mod team. Laci was not in this gc at any point in time, despite being the one to report. 

One of the users was apparently 12, to which I ask – what is a 12-year-old doing on discord at all? If we knew who they were, we would have reported the account. Discord is not a safe place for a child that age, let alone a small group chat. Along with 18-year-old Crimson, there was also a 22- and 17-year-old in the chat, which left us wondering – why hadn’t anything been done?

I had no evidence that anyone ever told crimson they were minors, and I feel if it existed, it would have been in the screencap dump (I find that sometimes a noticeable lack of key evidence is evidence in itself). No one seems to have tried to kick crimson from the group chat or report their account for inappropriate behavior. Then there’s the fact that this is a group chat. Anyone in it can leave at any time. 

Then I came across the messages that started this whole gc, and it only got stranger when I realized Alice started it, called it “Women Lovers” and created it “so we can talk about Nevermore women without having to filter ourselves” after they all reacted to a sultry but sfw drawing of Lenore that crimson had made and posted in our hideout channel. And all that made me wonder why Alice didn’t just kick crimson, if she had admin power?  Do you see what I mean? It’s just all a bit head tilty. I noticed it at the time. But I said nothing. Because it didn’t matter. Crimson, no matter what happened, exposed minors to nsfw content. And that’s on them. And I’ve never in my life defended it. We banned them.

Crimson was beside herself. She came off humiliated and apologetic, and insisted she had no idea and begged to come back to a community she said she loved. But we told her no, there’s no coming back from doing what she did.

Time passes and we uncover Clique #1. And while we figured out who the main players were, I dmed with Laci. And it was Laci herself, who tells me that it was Alice who made most of Clique #1’s alt accounts, and that it was Alice who used those alt accounts to harass people and try to get them to start fights or say something that might get them in trouble. 

And I’ll be honest with you, the mod team still didn’t think much of it, outside of – we need to figure out which accounts were the alts. So we did. We had several confirmed to us.  And those accounts were zeroing in on certain users that the clique didn’t like. At the time we noticed two notable targets in addition to the mod team. I won’t name them, it’s their business if they want to weigh in about all that. But in screencaps, they’ll be labeled Target #1 and Target #2.

More time passes and Clique #2 comes to light. As you can imagine, by now we’re feeling disillusioned, and very tired of trying to moderate shit we cannot see for ourselves. And that’s when crimson comes back to very hesitantly ask if they might be able to appeal their ban. It wasn’t until then that it occurred to us that Laci (on behalf of Alice) was the only one who ever reported anything to us about Crimson. 

And I want to just say that again. Because it’s gotten lost too. Laci was the only person who ever reported Crimson. There was not one single other person who ever sent a modmail or a dm or even a ping to anybody on the mod team. I have since (only yesterday) seen some screencaps that are rather skin crawly, but even those happened in yet another side server. Thinking on this, the mods went back through the known alt accounts Alice had used. And they found that Alice harassed crimson both on her main account and on the same alt accounts that she used to harass the other targets.

By now, Alice is banned for completely unrelated reasons. Not because of what happened with Crimson. I’ve seen that one flying around and I’m sorry it’s just not true. It’s because she was relentlessly harassing and cyberbullying people in the discord we moderate. Laci is still there, but had lost my trust, for being involved with both the drama I’ve mentioned here and more that I don’t care to dip into. It’s ultimately irrelevant. But what am I going to say to Laci? “Hey, did you and Alice, by any chance, coordinate some kind of bizarre trap together to get crimson banned from the discord because you suspected them of tracing their art?” And once again. Because I want to keep this top of mind. Even if that were the case, it doesn’t make what Crimson did alright, and it never will. Sharing nsfw content in front of minors is a disgusting thing to do. And one that we frankly are really irritating about in the moderation of the discord. I’ve heard people say that we over-moderate when it comes to art. 

But all this stuff about a “known pedophile?” If it was known, then we were on the outs. And to even this minute right now, I don’t have any conclusive evidence that Crimson is a pedophile. The evidence I have is that Crimson shared nsfw with a group of people whose ages they did not know. Which is fucking gross. It’s an adult’s responsibility to make sure they’re speaking with other adults before posting things of that nature. 

But at the time, the way I read the situation is that Crimson had only just stopped being a minor and was egregiously negligent in how they were speaking and what they were posting, likely in part due to them not being aware enough of their adult responsibilities.  And hey. I know some of you are chomping at the bit. You can call me naïve for this! This is what I’m referring to when I say that I can be a real idiot. But I feel everyone has been very quick to call Crimson a pedophile. I know this is pedantic to say, but the prerequisite for being a pedophile is “being attracted to minors.” Based on the information I had at my fingertips, I did not think Crimson sought out these minors. Crimson was invited to the gc, they did not ask to join. 

I have seen discussions about all the things crimson did to their victims since we unbanned them but I have not seen screencaps to support that whole ‘marriage proposal’ thing, and again I think it sounds a bit odd coming as a pedophilia accusation from someone only one year younger than crimson.  

But you know what? I don’t know crimson. Maybe we were wrong. But even if we weren’t, I realize in hindsight that it was a stupid decision for the mod team to give them a second chance. We didn’t have anyone to consult about what happened because all the other people in the chat had been obscured from me and I didn’t feel like Laci would give me a straight answer. 

The mods and I felt at the time that crimson, like the other targets of Clique #1, had been singled out and that they deserved another very closely monitored chance in the discord, which they said they still missed dearly. I’m a bleeding heart, alright? A total sap. I know that. But being honest with you, I felt bad. It feels horrible to be singled out and targeted. And I was probably too close to that feeling at the time, seeing as we were on the tail end of finding out the Clique #2 had pursued me so relentlessly for so long. 

So for my part, I’m sorry. I made a rash decision that was influenced by some very personal circumstances. And we should have left it alone. Based on the evidence I've seen, I don’t know if I personally would call crimson a pedophile and certainly I wouldn't call them a known pedophile, but I am regretful that we risked it either way.

When I was trying to explain all of this in the west common room channel two nights back, things had boiled over and were already getting out of hand very quickly. A lot of brand new accounts were joining the discord with one word intros just to start conflicts in the public server with crimson. Alts. Either from banned users or burner accounts. And I got panicky. One of the mods paused the messages in west common room but no one besides me was available to handle the situation at that moment. Reacts about being silenced were pouring in and I felt pressured to quickly take over and try to explain. 

In my rush, I stupidly didn’t backread more than a quick skim. And I ate shit, y’all. You saw. One thing I want to state outright. I’m talking a lot about my thoughts and my feelings and it’s because I don’t wanna speak for Flynn or for the mods. But I didn’t make this decision alone. In fact, I was dragging my feet and being really lazy about okaying the whole thing. Just because I was busy, not because I was fretting over it or anything. But I had to be pinged and then literally tapped on the shoulder by Flynn, asking me to respond to mod chat when this was being discussed earlier that day. That doesn’t change the fact that I was part of the decision. I agreed to unban crimson. Foolishly. I understand that, now. 

I hope that now it makes some more sense though, how it came to happen. I never meant to hurt anyone. My own past and present feelings got in the way, and I own that. But in the moment, my personal intention was to give crimson a second chance because I felt that they’d been targeted by Clique #1. Not to ignore anyone’s concerns or make them feel unsafe, even if those were the ultimate outcome.  

So, completely underprepared and defensive, I jumped into west common room and I just. Blew it. Totally fucking blew it. I knew it instantly but it’s hard to stay logical when people are telling you you’re vile and evil and they’re sick that they ever thought you were a good person and that they’ll never see you the same way again. My mind went blank and I don’t really remember much of what happened next. But I said what I said, and I should have done better. 

I wish there was a word bigger than sorry. I’m beside myself. I know there was probably a way to make everyone happy. To make everything okay. But I wasn't clever enough to figure it out in the moment, and it eats at me. So it’s like I’m sorry for my poor judgment and my terrible choice of words, but there’s another layer where I’m also sorry for not matching how wonderful this community is with how wonderful (or well, unwonderful) I was two nights ago. I promise I am going to work harder to be better for you all.

Again, to every victim of SA and CSA, my heart is with you, more personally than you might realize. I don’t think I could have handled my explanation in a worse way. And I’m so so sorry.

Moving forward, I am also going to take an enormous step back from moderating and participating in the discord in general. I feel like a lot of this happened because I was still treating it like it belonged to a smaller fandom, like Shiloh’s. But realistically, I don’t have time to both moderate and make the series itself, and I really dragged my feet on being honest with myself about that. And for that too, I apologize. We’re going to get more mods, they’re going to have full control of the moderation, and Flynn and I are going to do what we love more than anything in the world and just make Nevermore.

I understand if you won’t be there for it. This is not a flattering picture I’ve painted for you. And you’d be well within your rights, to decide not to give us another chance. But it's been a pleasure to lurk here in this wildly talented corner of tumblr. And I’ll never forget it. <3 Yours truly, -Kit Trace

[grimmweepers]

— ☆ 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: alhaitham wants to cheer you up by giving you a cake but, much to his dismay, he discovers he’s not very good at baking

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: alhaitham x gn!reader, modern au, established relationship, fluff, slice of life, comfort, baking, you call him baby, he might be a lil ooc 1.2k wc. | masterlist

a/n: important!! this piece is for the @pixelcafe-network’s secret santa exchange and it is my gift to @ariiadnes <3 surprise little elf, i am your santa >:) hehe that was me on anon. i welcome anybody to enjoy it but i’m just prefacing that i wrote this with my little elf in mind so this is personalised and will include some details specific to our kay ^_^ thank you to the pixel cafe for organising something so sweet <3 happy holidays!

p.s there is an extra surprise at the end 🤭

The sudden clang of the rolling pin meeting the floor made Alhaitham pause mid-motion. He regarded the rogue tool with a glare as though it had a personal vendetta against him. If baking was a dance of trial and error, it appeared Alhaitham was hopelessly out of step.

This shouldn’t be so difficult, he thought, bending down to retrieve it with a sigh.

What had started as a bold plan to cheer you up was devolving into a textbook case of kitchen disaster. His countertops bore signs of his struggle: a battlefield of flour, sticky smears of frosting, and a timer that had long since been silenced, marking the hours he had spent here. A slightly concerning scent wafted from the oven, where a deflated Snoopy cake mocked his attempts, its ears drooping in defeat.

All his brilliance yet his intellect failed him in the kitchen. The art of baking required nuances he hadn’t yet mastered—the understanding of texture, temperature, and timing. These were variables that no theorem or formula could solve. He glanced at the instructional video on his phone, the cheerful baker’s voice grating against his fraying patience.

‘Step one: don’t overfill the pan,’ he recited in his head, lips thinning as he stared at the mess in the oven. “A bit late for that.”

His phone buzzed, pulling him from his brooding. It was a message from you:

“Done for the day! Heading home soon. Love you <3.”

Alhaitham paused, his thumb hovering over the keyboard. He could easily picture the exhaustion in your face as you typed the message. You’d been weathering the storm of clinical rotations, coursework, and sleepless nights to reach the summit of your master’s program. He’d witness you lose sleep over exams, spend weekends buried in textbooks, and wake before dawn to attend hospital shifts.

He’d also notice the fatigue in your voice, how you napped more often to catch up on rest, and the stress you tried to hide when things got overwhelming.

Even in your exhaustion, you still managed to grace him with a smile. There was something admirable about how your heart endured, how you found space for joy despite the weight you carried. He knew he couldn’t ease your responsibilities, but he could remind you that you weren't facing it all alone.

His gaze shifted to the Snoopy figurine he’d bought for inspiration, perched on the counter like a silent overseer of this culinary misadventure. No turning back now.

Alhaitham began to roll up his sleeves and pick up the piping bag.

For you, he was willing to stumble through every misstep.

Drawing Snoopy’s outline with frosting proved no easier than taming the batter. Alhaitham leaned in close, expression sharpening, and the tip of his tongue peeked out in concentration (a face no one but you might ever see from him). As he worked, his mind whispered doubts, yet his hands persisted.

Steadfast, if imperfect.

———

By the time you stepped through the front door, the scent of burnt sugar lingered in the air. The apartment, to your surprise, looked untouched—eerily pristine, even. Nothing seemed to have moved ever since you left the house this morning. 

No hint of chaos. Yet.

“Haitham~?” you called out, kicking off your shoes. “What’s that smell? Did you… light a candle or something?”

“In the kitchen,” came his reply, his voice betraying none of his current predicament.

You rounded the corner, and the first thing you noticed upon entering was the stillness. Alhaitham stood near the counter, as composed as always, except for the flour dusting his hair and a smear of frosting on his cheek.

The second thing you noticed was the cake. Or what you assumed was meant to be a cake. Snoopy, your beloved Snoopy, lay immortalised in wobbly frosting on an uneven base. His ears drooped, and his face was just crooked enough to be endearing.

“Haitham?” you asked, placing your bag down carefully. “What… What happened here? Did Snoopy get caught in a blizzard?”

Alhaitham’s neutral expression didn’t falter, though his ears turned a light shade of pink. “It’s a cake,” he deadpanned. “Not a sculpture. Artistic liberties were necessary.”

That was all it took. You doubled over, laughter spilling from your lips like a bubbling brook. “You made this? For me?”

“Yes,” he said simply, the word softened by his sincerity. “You’ve been overworking yourself. I thought you might enjoy this.”

Your laughter melted into something warmer, and you stepped closer with a glow in your chest, inspecting the cake with a fond smile. “I didn’t know you could bake.”

“I can’t,” he admitted flatly. “And I don’t plan to pursue it further. The kitchen may never recover.”

"But you look so handsome covered in frosting." You reached up, gently touching the mess on his cheek. “You’ve got a little something here.”

Not wasting another second, you pressed a kiss to the smudge, tasting a bit of sugar on your tongue. His breath caught, just barely, and you pulled back with a grin.

“There,” you said playfully. “All cleaned up.”

His lips parted slightly as if to retort, but you didn’t give him the chance. You cupped his face, your thumbs tracing circles of flour on his skin. “Did my baby work hard on this cake?”

Alhaitham blinked, caught entirely off-guard by your tone. “I wouldn’t use the term hard,” he huffed slightly, a crack in his usual demeanor under your doting affection. 

“Oh, but you did,” you teased, brushing your nose against his. “Worked so hard, just for me. My thoughtful, talented boyfriend.”

He sighed, a long exhale that felt more like surrender than irritation. “If you keep that up, you might convince me it was worth the mess.”

You beamed, leaning up to kiss him properly this time, imprinting your gratitude on his lips. “I already know it was. You’re the sweetest, you know that?”

His ears darkened further, and he turned his attention to the counter as if it had become the most fascinating object in the room. “The cake might taste otherwise.”

“Stop being modest,” you said, grabbing the knife. “Come on. Let’s taste your masterpiece.”

His hand covered yours before you could cut into it. “Be gentle with it. It’s barely holding together.”

You chuckled, nudging him. “Sounds a bit like me during finals actually.” Alhaitham was clearly amused by your comparison, lips quirking as you looked at him.

When you cut into the cake, the sound of the knife meeting its layers fills the space. You served a piece, taking a bite before offering your verdict. “Hmm.” You hummed thoughtfully, watching his expression tighten.

“Well?” he asked, the question almost reluctant.

You grinned and reached for his hand, squeezing it. “It’s perfect. Just like you.”

He raised his brow at the sentiment but you caught the way his grip mirrored your squeezing. “I think your standards are too forgiving,” he replied.

“Not at all,” you said earnestly, setting your fork down and stepping closer. “It means everything to me, Alhaitham. Thank you.”

For once, words faltered and fell away, replaced by the gentle press of his forehead against yours. At that moment, the world seemed to pause, and the chaos of frosting, cake, and his flour-coated hands faded into nothingness. In their place was something simpler, something truer—his love for you that spoke volumes without a single syllable.

bonus gift: some silly visuals 🫶

a/n: i was a little nervous about this because kay, you already write so beautifully. i truly hope this was to your liking 🥺💖 congrats again on completing your masters program. i hope your certification exam goes/went well 💖

© 2024 grimmweepers — do not repost, copy, translate, modify my work on any platform.

divider: @/adornedwithlight

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

On David Tennant and Aging

So, I’ve seen a lot of posts in response to Tumblr users’ habit of affectionately calling their favorite middle aged dudes “old men”, David Tennant in particular, saying things like “clearly you’ve never met an actual old person”, “omg you talk about these guys like they’re 80”, “please be normal about people aging”, etc. And on one hand, all of these statements are objectively right and true! But as someone who’s always been really fascinated by and found a lot of beauty in getting older (which I’ve explored in some of my writing on A03 because nobody else is going to do it for me), I’d like to provide a bit more nuance on how I think this label applies to David in particular.

David, obviously, in literal terms, is not “old”, at least not to me- I don’t personally consider people old until they get past 60. 52 is middle aged, simple as that. And yet, when I see David stuck with the “old man” label, it still somehow feels weirdly right, for a number of reasons.

It annoys me so much when people say David “hasn’t aged a day since Doctor Who”, because, well…

He clearly has. A lot. He’s got forehead creases, deep crows’ feet and eyebags, and I think that post-Fourteen we’re gonna see him rocking the grey temples a LOT more. He also has the voice of an older man now, his upper range is still there but the default is much more deep and rich, with a gravelly, rumbling quality that just goes straight through you. I personally think Broadchurch was when David finally started to embrace looking his age- Alec Hardy just wouldn’t have been served by Ten’s fresh-faced boyishness.

Obviously, these are the kinds of changes you’d expect any 52-year-old man to have, but something about David just makes it all seem a bit more… intense? The expressiveness of his face combined with his almost gaunt frame makes his wrinkles very prominent, and when he works his voice to its emotional extremes, his lower register can sound positively ancient, to devastating effect.

David, I think, is someone with an old soul- I don’t think he could be as good as he is at playing ancient characters like Crowley and The Doctor if he weren’t. He has lived so many lives, given so much of himself to so many characters, often incredibly tragic ones, and I think it wears on him. David also has five kids. FIVE. Do you know how exhausting it is to be one of the hardest working actors alive and be a present, loving father to even ONE child? But David somehow does it anyway! Nowadays I see him and my heart breaks because he looks so tired, so weary and fragile. But he’s all the more beautiful for it to me because I know that that is because he is kind. He’s a deeply empathetic person who feels and lives to the absolute fullest, and that story is written so clearly on his face, along with every other story he has ever been a part of.

There’s other things about David that make the label endearingly fitting- his utter hopelessness when it comes to technology, for instance. And he’s just got that warm, wise, grandpa energy too sometimes- look at that above Fourteen picture and tell me I’m wrong!

I once showed my friend who’d only seen David in Doctor Who and Harry Potter a picture of David from Around The World in 80 Days. It was a particularly emotional scene, and his face had just the most beautiful expression of compassion and sadness, every wrinkle on full display. And she said, in a less than complimentary fashion, “he looks so old!” Which, of course, offended me quite a bit at first. But to me, referring to David as old almost feels like a badge of honor, something he’s earned by living fully and selflessly, working hard and being wise and compassionate beyond his years. I think David himself is secretly more than a little insecure about the fact that he’s getting older. There’s sadness behind every jovially self-depreciating remark he’s made about his age in the past year, particularly in comparing himself to Ncuti Gatwa. I know how much David struggles with his impostor syndrome and how people perceive him, and I can clearly see in his eyes the fear of being discarded, the anxiety he feels about if he’ll still be as loved as he was back in 2007 now that he’s closer in age to King Lear than he is to Romeo. So I hope David knows it’s a privilege to watch him grow older, to watch his soul and talents deepen with the crinkles around his eyes. If I, in my silly goofy tumblr girl-ness, call David Tennant an old man, it’s because it’s a label that suits him beautifully- even if it isn’t TECHNICALLY an accurate one yet.

[vintagecandy]

Now for the 1920s reimagining of Jonathan Crane ! sorry this explanation is even longer lmao

As everyone's been saying, I should do the rest of the Dork Squad to match 1920s Jervis, and so here is my Jonathan! Easily the hardest to draw out of the three-- but I must say! Despite being outside my expertise, I'm a little surprised how much it looks exactly like I was imagining! Even if it took me ages but that's just procrastination lmao.

Anyways! What is his deal? Well, for one, design wise I did go a more drastically different direction from his usual look by doing a literal scareCROW. He's much more bird like, with a plague doctor mask being common imagery in steampunk, but he's still very southern themed with his messy broken overall strap and patchwork coat. Even his wings are rustic. ( he can't fly just glide btw lol ) Also! I leaned hard into the color orange instead of his usual green gas because it..... bugs me that both Crane and Nygma have a bright green in their color palette. I just want them to have distinct colors if they're going to be a trio. And look how vintage halloweeny he looks !!

So why is he so well dressed out of costume? Well! This Jonathan Crane is not a psychologist at all, here he is the very successful grandfather of horror movies in the silent film era. ( An illustrious origin, i hope canon Crane would be proud lmao ). This is referenced in how his face looks, he's wearing white powder and black makeup that's usually meant to emphasize key features on blurry film like his upper lip and around his eyes. And yes, he just keeps his makeup on during most events, and people just accept he's a little on the... eccentric side.

To me, the archetype of the mad artist fits Jonathan's vibe perfectly. When it comes to striking fear, he's a perfectionist, a trait that drove him to learn every single skill necessary himself, from costume design to props to making his own cameras to mechanical engineering, to.... a "fear gas" that was supposed to gently encourage immersion in the audience but ended up becoming a dangerous chemical weapon.

For his origin crime I am thinking !! Full blown Scooby Doo style monster mystery!! With some nuance! Crane, as a first impression, gives off an immediate air of pompous, aggressively impatient, pretentious director type. His presence is big and dramatic, but its distinctly not southern-- in fact, he seems to play up something between a hollywood accent and a thespian one. But this is all to cover for his farm hick background that he was once very ashamed of.

As a child of a failing farmhand during an infamously dry and dusty era, Jonathan developed an extreme resentment for his country existence from both the bullying of other children for all his strange quirks and the severe verbal and physical abuse of his father, driven to alcoholism by the stress of poverty and the loss of his wife. Originally offering his artistic ideas as a means to help them, he grows sick of their closed mindedness and berating and runs away to learn about the emerging potential of film in Gotham City.

Its been many years, Jonathan now in his early 30s, he finds himself surrounded by the shallow, champagne aristocrats that reflect his childhood bullies. Feeling wrong in his own skin, he develops a sightly unhealthy obsession with the escapism he finds in performing as the monsters in his movies.

But upon discovering that the corrupt rich of Gotham plan to push legislation that would negatively effect farmers like his own history, and that they expected him to be amongst those who support it, his irritation with the shallowness of society reaches its limits. In day, he would feign support for their behavior to cover his tracks, but at night he would don the mask of the Scarecrow, rumored to be the vengeful spirit of a farmer who was hanged, and who he believes to be a more freeing expression of himself than his true face, targeting not just the rich but striking fear in their laborers to scare them off land. And it works. So, he tries bending the will of society more.

Is he doing this out of any moral conviction or just spite and a love for the role? It's... hard to say.

As the Scarecrow, his methods are so effective he's near uncatchable, even by Batman. Its only by solving the mystery of who is under the mask are they able to catch him. They surprise him during one of his screenings, jump him in the dark, and prove his subtle use of fear gas in the theater to the police once he's cornered. Instead of being angry, he goes to the mad house applauding Batman's performance.

What an interesting character they play. He's very inspired.

[kathaynesart]

The call has ended, but the final recording still has a bit further to go.  

BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT MASTER POST

Sorry these past several updates have been such downers.  I promise the next one will have some fun banter.  Can’t wait to get back to the real world with less digital effects and data dump.  I don’t know how Donnie deals with all of it. 

Below the cut I’ve added a little talk about Donnie and the way he handled this heavy conversation, something I fear might come off a little harsh without the proper context clues.  Also, below is a fun little discovery I made about Omega! 

I’ve already had a few people express how Donnie seems mean to his family in this update, which I totally understand how it can come off like that.  A certain amount of nuance is lost in this sort of comic format with neither descriptors, actual voice acting, or even Donnie’s face to give context for the way he is saying certain lines.  It’s an artistic choice I made, but one I still wish to clarify.

I see the sudden hang up as less Donnie being a jerk and more him having to cut the conversation short because he has to keep focus and he’s scared of Leo talking him down from the ledge he’s standing on.  He’s sticking to his guns and it hurts him to see how much it’s hurting his family and so all he can do is distance himself before the strong emotions cause him to make a mistake in the middle of enemy territory (placing legitimate logical concerns over emotional ones).  At the same time he is attempting to remain calm if only to try and let some of that wash onto Leo and April, because he knows if Leo freaks out too much he could risk bleeding out faster, which is why he was pressing for April to care for him first and foremost.  Were he a better liar he might have done so just to keep Leo calm a little longer, but no such luck.   Donnie holds so much love for his family, and I don’t think an apocalypse has changed that, he just has difficulty at times knowing the hierarchy of emotions expected of such a rare and dire situation and instead chooses to focus on the logical issues because at least those are some things he has certain control over. He wants to keep his family safe at all costs and if he has to cut off the last conversation he initiated and desperately wanted with his family to do so then he will.  I hope that clears some things up.  I might make this paragraph into it’s own post tomorrow for those who might have missed this update. 

On another note, I discovered something fun while researching Donnie’s screen UI!  (Extra photos under the cut:) Omega is actually in the movie (kind of)!  Look at the lil’ guy!  All sorts of dead!

Thanks as always for your support and comments, it means a ton!

[cyborg-3005]

SPOILER TADC EPISODE 4 ANALYSIS BELOW

so, generally, these episodes keep getting better and better. one is with the facial expressions, pomni’s and jax’s especially felt very nuanced and added more opportunity to read their characters. but i do also mean writing-wise.

this episode definitely felt like it gave us a much larger glimpse into these characters as people:

while she’s “high,” ragatha mentions a lot of things (horses, dancing, etc.) that seem to be memories of her past life. she’s also more genuine about her feelings regarding the other characters, saying that especially harsh thing of gangle being more annoying with her comedy mask. generally, we’re getting more of a peek at how ragatha feels internally.

zooble is given a chance to be a bit more of the straight-person or the emotional stability for other characters to lean on, and is just more present than ever before.

pomni hasn’t evolved as much from her previous characterization, but she’s more in a position this time to be stable and not in constant mental peril.

jax is forcibly toned down as the day goes on, his underlayer of apathy and depression beginning to take over for his usual sadistic vigor.

there’s so many examples with gangle, but i’ll be getting into those later.

notably, especially by the end of the day, the humans aren’t acting like it’s the end of their adventure, but the end of an actual shift, as if this is their actual job that they drive from to their actual home somewhere. i find this interesting, especially for someone like pomni, who seems to take the idea of closing the shift most seriously—as if it’s real—despite her previously being the one most conscious about the artificiality of the adventures. i think this speaks to how in a normal setting, the characters kind of assimilate into it much quicker; the normalcy of this artificial mockery of real life attracts them as respite from the existential dread in being in a world that isn’t theirs. it also seems to awaken a bit more of their underlying selves.

pomni and gummigoo, man that was a powerful scene. we had all been dreading it, but i think i was pleasantly surprised at how mature and quiet pomni was in handling the situation—so many in the fandom tend to kinda infantilize her and so assumed that when she’d see gummigoo that she’d have some sort of breakdown, but the more frazzled and nuanced reaction she actually had feels much more realistic and true to her character.

i noticed gummigoo at least has the same name as before, as when pomni speaks it he reacts by reaching his hand out with some expression of concern. some have interpreted his mannerisms in this episode as that he actually remembered pomni and his previous self when she called his name but didn’t want to say anything to make the situation more complicated, which isn’t exactly 100% confirmed but is a cool theory regardless. i just really like him as a character in general, so it’s cool to see him again.

and i also really like how pomni’s interaction with him ended on a resolute and bittersweet note. like yeah, she’s definitely sad over the situation, but she’s not completely heartbroken—she seems glad to just have seen him again, even if he didn’t quite remember their time together beforehand. her feelings when seeing him are equally positive and negative, not this abject heartbreak that makes her drown in sorrow. she’s even briefly sorta infatuated with him at the counter, which is fun considering how ragatha on an offhand comment basically confirms funnygummy to be canon.

gotta say, maybe a little sadistic, i like seeing jax actually frightened. it seems like the only thing that ends up bringing out any remote amount of good in him, which we implicitly saw in episode 1 when he seemingly pulls gangle and kinger away from the kaufmo situation (perhaps out of fear for their safety?). i’m hoping we get to see his facade further broken down.

ragatha being high was really funny and very intriguing, as we get more of a glimpse at her “true self” underneath her mary-sue-esque facade.

zooble, i love zooble, man. i think to an extent they’re possibly one of the more heartwarming characters in the whole show just on the merit that their “coolness” isn’t quite a facade to distance themself like jax and they actually show care for their friends. i feel like zooble is less of a character we’ll need a dedicated episode for, and moreso one that will consistently show a bit more of themselves throughout.

and then

GANGLE.

i love how many layers there are to gangle’s “dissection” this episode. we see a glimpse into an excellent representation of bipolar disorder and manic episodes, and so much beyond that with her specifically. i love how her mention of the comic artist thing in jax’s “training video” was clearly a projection of her insecurities over her inability to chase her dreams in her past life, which is set up in the beginning by her mentioning her experience as a shift manager. the adventure’s promise of “normalcy”—a relief from her emotional instability, perhaps—quickly devolves into the horror of being left alone with your thoughts and surrounded by the infinite horizon of crushed dreams and mediocrity, that being the spudsy’s itself.

this adventure clearly awoke some old memories of her past life, making her wallow further in her grief over her not being perfect or excelling all the time. i found it amazing how well the pacing of the episode was able to add these layers one scene at a time to build up both the viewer’s understanding of gangle’s struggles and gangle’s struggles building up with the increasing stress of her job.

that scene at the end with her dancing into the traffic felt very reminiscent of a certain scene in DanDaDan episode 7 (i won’t spoil any of that). it’s interesting how happy she appears, yet it’s revealed to be a suicidal moment in some manners—her joy is derived from a destruction of self and the feelings of pressures being lifted that comes with that. when she throws the weird mask away, she’s lifting the burdens of “normalcy” and social responsibility off of herself, and her joy is not necessarily happiness itself but a cathartic feeling of being able to have a true moment of her own. it highlights, perhaps, why people engage in self-destructive behavior—it lets them let go of the burdens and expectations weighing on them, even for a moment.

i like the touch of how this moment doesn’t actually end in making her feel better—she ends up devastated over how she “ruined” everything by having that moment and being emotionally “selfish” for once. zooble makes her realize that no one is mad at her for having that moment (although the circus might be pissed over her time being all of their boss). i do find that in particular interesting, as it’s sort of a continuation of the sentiment both ragatha and jax express that they find gangle more tolerable with her tragedy mask. they’re unkind words, but the episode, and zooble’s moment of comforting her makes clear why those two were saying that—gangle is more of her “true self” without these overlaying masks (with the mask in this episode specifically, i think it represents the expectations of success and normalcy that capitalistic society imposes on us). it’s not that it’s wrong or unwarranted for gangle to want a happier mask, but the show demonstrates that gangle is the most genuine with her tragedy mask, when she has shed the masks that present her as being “acceptable” in a way that actally makes everyone more distant from her.

the “normalcy” of this adventure seemed to be what got to gangle, as the societal expectations of “normalcy” that come with that might have been gangle’s biggest struggle in her previous life. i love that ironically, the two characters that read the most “normal”—pomni and zooble—actually end up being the ones that connect with her, not to demonstrate that normalcy is good but the opposite: expectations of “fitting in” are bullshit, no one fits in or needs to, and pomni and zooble are demonstrating that.

one more thing i have to mention is i actually like how the show is aware of the pattern of “pomni sits and has a heartfelt conversation with another character in the dark at the act 2 low point” of episodes 2 and 3, and breaks the pattern during that scene with pomni and gangle outside in two ways, one of which being pomni’s “here we go again” attitude with the scenario when it begins, and how gangle forcibly ends the conversation before it gets too far for comfort, leaving the emotional resolution a bit more ambiguous and taking more of a journey to get resolved by the end.

my rambles only make slight bits of sense, but i hope you found something interesting to talk about in here. chat with me in the comments if ya want!

[cuntylouis]

"Armand is Alice and Daniel's wife/s and kids aren't real" has become a popular fan theory (even Luke Brandon Field said he liked it!) but i'd be surprised if it was right. I think it's definitely possible that Devil's Minion will be adapted in the show (though probably not exactly like in the books), but i personally think this whole imaginary family thing would be a poor way to handle the storyline for a variety of reasons. I think a twist like that would probably come across convoluted and (as Daniel might say) like something from a telenovela.

We see children's toys in Daniel's house and he's public figure who many people know with an autobiography and everything. Creating decades worth of false memories for Daniel and somehow also maintaining that imaginary life story for decades wouldn't be enough, Armand or whoever did it would also realistically have to have an absurd level of control over the physical world, public records and many other people's minds to sustain an illusion like that. I also frankly think it would be difficult to avoid having some sexist and biphobic undertones to the idea that Daniel's relationships with women were unreal and meaningless and only his relationship with a man matters.

However, the most important reason why i think Daniel's wives and children should be real is that they make him a richer, more nuanced character and are actually central to understanding him and his motives. He has lived a full and complex life that has been influenced and to some extent defined by his encounters with vampires, but those vampires still weren't his whole life. I think it's more interesting to see Daniel's human life and his relationship with Armand and Louis as something connected and overlapping that both affect each other. We actually learn quite a lot about Daniel from what he says about his partners and children.

This scene - as well as how Alice in general is discussed - reminded many people of how Daniel in the books talks about Armand, such as this famous passage:

Parallels between Daniel's relationships with Alice and Armand in the books are obvious but i think they're just that, parallels. Both the sweet little scene where Daniel is talking about Alice's eyebrows and the book scene where he's talking about loving Armand not despite but because he's a monster reflect in different ways who Daniel is as a person; he feels drawn to unconventional and strange and sees beauty where others might not. He ended up in this situation with vampires too because he wanted to interview people who're rejected by the society.

If Daniel already had some sort of relationship with Armand in the past it makes sense that it would be associated with Alice in his mind. There may be an overlap between the timelines of those relationships. A memory of Armand rises when Daniel is reminded of Alice rejecting his marriage proposal, in the books Armand rejected his wish to be turn him into a vampire, which would've been something akin to marriage. I think Alice being real is much more compelling for Armand's character too, with Armand expressing surprising understanding and sympathy toward Daniel's wife rather than just speaking about his own experience through an imaginary woman.

Completely putting aside Devil's Minion and is it a thing in the show or not, i think Daniel's family is particularly important to Louis' and Daniel's relationship. Something that hasn't technically been explicitly said but to me seems obvious is that Louis and Daniel strongly relate to each other as fathers. Many scenes where we see Louis and Daniel show vulnerability in front of each other have something to do with their partners and children. In 1.02 as one of the earliest examples of this Louis replicates the dessert Daniel had with Alice, trying to connect with him and his humanity through it, Daniel shares personal memory and they eat together in companionable silence.

I would argue that Claudia, her memory, and Louis' relationship with her is the heart of the story in these first two seasons. Claudia entering the story in 1.04 marks the shift in the interview and Daniel's approach; he becomes both more combative and more emotionally invested. He has a strong reaction to reading Claudia's diaries, and it's not difficult for any parent to guess that he's also imagining her own daughters in similar circumstances to Claudia.

I think this conversation at the end of the episode (alongside Louis' speech to Daniel in San Francisco and them remembering it in 2.05) is the most important scene between Louis and Daniel. They share the understanding what it feels like to have children and love them so much you don't even have words for it, but still fail them. It's not a coincidence that in the original interview in San Francisco what leads to Louis attacking Daniel is Louis telling the story of Claudia leaving alone and Louis going back to Lestat, and Daniel acting dismissively and clearly not understanding why this is so painful memory to Louis. Daniel was young, stupid and high - and he didn't have children yet. Daniel now wouldn't act like that when hearing this story, and he doesn't in 1.06 when hearing it again. And notably when Louis says that he would now agree to turn Daniel, Daniel says he doesn't want it anymore and specifically mentions his daughters as one of the reasons. Having to watch your children die before you is the most horrifying thing in the world. It's something Louis had to go through and Daniel wishes he never has to, even if vampirism still intrigues him.

Daniel realizes quickly that it all comes down to Louis' feelings of guilt and shame about failing Claudia and his inability to protect her, because he has similar feelings about his own daughters. Louis' story unravels in s1 finale because Daniel recognizes that Louis' more palatable narrative around what happened with Claudia isn't fully true. Daniel carefully read through Claudia's diaries and tried to learn to understand her, and he positions himself as someone who's trying to defend her integrity and reveal the injustice that was done to her. This is again about Daniel's own children as much as it's about Claudia. He knows that he's a bad father, his daughters don't talk to him anymore and it's implied that he neglected them when focusing on other things that interested him more. When Daniel defends Claudia he's on some level trying to rectify his own mistakes and when he calls Louis out he's also voicing his own self-loathing.

Eric Bogosian remarked that the scene in 2.01 where Louis cries and thanks for Daniel for helping him to remember that Claudia could dream is another shift in their dynamic. Daniel looks at Louis with genuine concern, and after that he tones down his usual sarcasm and jabs significantly. Daniel, again, can sympathize with how important this is for Louis. There's a new sincerity and empathy in their interactions. Sometimes the audience forgets that this story is ultimately about Claudia, but Daniel hasn't forgotten it since he first realized it. They're trying to understand together what happened to Louis' child and everything that led to it. I think if Daniel wasn't a father he would've acted differently, and Louis wouldn't have trusted him in the same way either and been able to share his and Claudia's story. I think this shared sorrow, love and guilt they feel as fathers is one of the most crucial parts of their connection.

[rewh0re]

MORE THAN JUST A DREAM ; GETO SUGURU

—wc: 3.2k, fluff, no curses au, college au, alcohol consumption, new year's kiss, ocs (reader's friends are ocs), implied oc x gojo, use of the pronoun 'she' once (except that it's gn! reader), gojo is RICH

a/n: I had to repost don't even ask it wouldn't show up in tags😐 anyways happy new year baby boos take this geto fic as a gift. REBLOGS + FEEDBACKS ARE APPRECIATED!!

divider cred: @/benkeibear

Gojo Satoru's annual New Year's Eve parties were a lavish affair. Set in the luxurious penthouse that he owned which he would only use for parties he hosted. There was a myriad of alcohol—all from the finest and most renowned brands—to choose from. There was music, there was dancing, there was a fucking champagne fountain for Christ's sake.

For a party hosted by some college student, it sure was a grand event. From freshmen to seniors, everyone attended it, dressed in their finest cocktail attires and fancy shoes.

For a party with so many attractions to catch the eye, Gojo Satoru and his best friend Geto Suguru took the cake. The pair could never be separated, may it be in the various parties and events they attended or when they were strolling the college campus. While Gojo was the louder, more exuberant and outgoing out of the two, Geto's genuine smile—whenever he was around his best friend—was hard to miss.

It was Geto's smile that always made your heart flutter.

You remember the first time you had noticed Geto Suguru. A simple, ravishingly attractive man, who sat two seats in front of you. He probably was not the teacher's favourite with the way he often got into little discussions and debates with the professors regarding the day's topics if he disagreed with certain aspects of it. Always polite and respectful but with a conniving smile on his lips nonetheless if he proved his point of view to be correct. His voice was always calm in class and he never stepped back from expressing his opinions. You thought it was a phenomenal quality to have.

You would see him often during breaks, his usual spot being a few tables away from yours. His rambunctious best friend was always at his side along with a girl who would always have a cigarette between her lips. Shoko Ieiri—you later learnt—was her name. Your friends and you would often not care, but sometimes, Gojo's mirthful laughter echoed throughout the area and you were bound to see Geto shake his head with a little snicker of his own at his friend's nuances. That's how you came to know of Geto. A well sought after, smart, insanely attractive and—from what you've heard— a polite and kind individual. You had admired Geto from a distance for a whole of three years now. The conversations you had with him could be counted on one hand but he had always been sweet to you. You wondered if he even remembered you. You did have flings here and there but you had always had that little spot of affection in your heart for the man who was Geto Suguru.

In the three years that you have been in this college of yours, you have never attended Gojo Satoru's new year's eve parties. You had heard stories and every year you had promised yourself to attend it. However, every year your mother called you back home to celebrate the holidays with your family and you could never deny it. Your friends initially complained but they understood your position and promised to tell you all the things that happened. One year you heard the crazy new year's kiss one of your friends had with a boy she met there and how magical it all seemed. The other year they told you how Gojo and Geto both got shit faced drunk and danced to every song until they physically dropped on the floor, unable to move and Shoko had to come take them away with a sigh. You learnt how Gojo normally avoided alcohol, feasting on the many desserts instead and how Geto and Shoko were often seen smoking a cigarette on the balcony together. You too wanted to attend this annual event, that was like a myth to you.

This year allowed that. With your father planning an impromptu vacation for only your mother and himself, you had the perfect opportunity to finally attend the party you had wanted to go to since your freshman year.

It was 31st December and you were beyond excited. Your friends had been elated to know that you would finally visit Gojo's party with them and they took it upon themselves to get you dolled up and ready for it, paying no heed to your complaints of "I can do it myself."

That's how you found yourself in Gojo's penthouse. The place was bustling with noises—music, talking, whistles (which you assumed were directed to the people who were dancing). The place was huge, something way out of your imagination. There were lights and decorations that increased the beauty of the place ten folds. And there was that goddamned champagne fountain that everyone talked about. “Gojo Satoru is rich,” was the very first thought that crossed your mind after a moment of awe and speechlessness.

"He's crazy rich," your friend, Aoi, laughed.

Oh, so your thoughts might have slipped out from your mouth.

"I'm sure Geto is too. Didn't you see his motorcycle in the parking area? That has to belong to some super loaded dude," your other friend, Saeko commented.

"Didn't you have a thing for Geto, y/n?" Saeko wiggled her eyebrows at you as she crossed her arms, a smirk evident on her lips.

"Eh, kinda. I mean, he's okay to look at I guess," you shrugged, making your way to the bar. The college parties you went to never had a bar. The alcohol had to be derived from the kitchen and most of the time, it was some sort of jungle juice.

"Oh shut up, you like him," Aoi smacked your back as she settled herself beside you on the bar stool.

"I never denied that," you winked at her as you downed the tequila, the bartender served the three of you.

"Having fun so far?" An unknown voice made the three of you turn your heads. Gojo Satoru. Standing tall in front of you, a lazy grin on his face and for heaven knows what reason his stupid sunglasses covering his eyes even at 11 in the night.

"Gojo Satoru," Saeko crossed her legs, leaning back on the bar counter as she smiled at him.

"In the flesh ma'am," he winked at her. A charming wink that girls would often faint over.

"That didn't answer my question though. Having fun?" He asked again.

"What would you offer as compensation if we said we weren't," he laughed at Saeko's little bantering comment. He knew she didn't mean it. Everyone had the time of their lives at Gojo Satoru's party.

"Oh Saeko, you have been coming here for the past two years. No need to lie to me, sweetheart. However—if I have, by chance—failed you this year, do dance with me. That'll be compensation enough," he winked at her.

"And they say chivalry is dead," your friend shook her head.

"I noticed you brought a friend this year?" His eyes raked over to you as he offered you a welcoming smile.

You returned it with a wave of your own.

"That's y/n. She didn't wanna miss out on this year's party," Aoi introduced you as she sipped on her strawberry daiquiri.

"Great to meet you y/n. I hope my little party meets your expectations," before you could counter his comment of the party being "little" a velvet smooth voice laced with mild jest interrupted your conversation.

"Don't annoy the guests Satoru," and there he was beside his best friend, Geto Suguru. His long black hair tied in a semi bun, an earring dangling from his right ear and a cheshire grin on his lips. Geto Suguru was a beautiful man to look at.

"I could never do that Suguru," Gojo turned to look at his best friend as his grin widened.

"Saeko brought a friend with her. I was just acquainting myself. Meet y/n."

Geto's eyes slid over to your figure, his smile softening. You could feel yourself warming up under his soft and welcoming gaze.

"You are in my psychology class," he said as he offered you his hand for a shake.

"I am," you shook his hand, the feeling of his fingers against yours, erupting little butterflies in your stomach. The coolness of his many rings against your warm hand sent shivers down your spine.

"I think I need that dance Gojo," Saeko said over the blasting music and the male was quick to respond. Giving her his hand, Gojo led your friend away towards the dance floor. She turned around to wink at you and Aoi before the pair disappeared.

You could only laugh at her antics. Saeko was a known flirt and you had heard how every year she would have a little fun with Gojo. This was the first time you had seen it and you could not help but laugh. Good god that girl knew what she was doing.

"Every damn year this happens," Geto chuckled as he leaned on the counter behind you. "I don't know if I want those two to be together or not with how much they flirt on this one day every year."

Aoi excused herself with a smirk, leaving you alone with Geto. Based on how the night went, you would either thank her or strangle her, but that was a problem for later.

"Why have I never seen you here y/n?" Geto looked over at you, tilting his head in question. His smile never left his face.

"Got caught up with my family every year. Decided to be here for a change," you ordered a glass of sangria, diverting from the tequila you were having earlier.

"I hope you can hold your liquor,"

"Aren't you a gentleman Geto," you smiled up at him.

"Oh yeah I definitely am," he nodded his head, mocking your smile. "Call me Suguru."

"Okay Suguru," you pat his shoulder.

"Care for a dance?" He looked at the dancing bodies and then at you, motioning his head towards the dance floor.

"Uhh, I've got two left feet. I'm afraid I'll scare people away with my dancing," you cringed.

His jubilant laughter filled your ears as his head rolled back, eyes crinkling. Your eyes widened slightly at the beauty of the sight in front of you. You did not quite understand if the slight intoxicating feeling that you felt was due to the alcohol you consumed or the laugh that he offered. 

"Don't worry about that. Half of us got two left feet, me included. Come on," before you could protest, Geto was already pulling you towards the dance floor.

The next few seconds were a whirlwind. One second you were sipping your sangria and the next you were in the middle of the dance floor, a hoard of sweaty bodies surrounding you and Geto's hands held your waist tightly. You hesitantly wrapped your arms around his neck as he smiled reassuringly at you. Your initial nervousness faded as Geto started swaying to the beat. Before you could process anything, you were there with him, living in the moment. You both danced to the music as his arms wrapped around you, twirling you around and swaying you. Somewhere between your dancing, you spotted Gojo and Saeko. She twirled in his arms, laughing as she landed on his chest.

"Cute aren't they?" Geto screamed in your ear over the blasting music.

"She never told me about this," you shook your head at him.

"Oh this is their annual ritual. They'll flirt for one night and pretend that the other does not exist for the rest of the year," he twirled you again. "I've told Satoru to just date her and he always says 'nah she is not into me.' I swear to god he's so stupid at times,"

"I think they'd make a hot couple, don't you?" You smiled at your dance partner.

"Oh absolutely."

Geto could feel a sense of warmth in his chest as he saw you letting yourself free, enjoying and dancing to your heart's extent. The pounding in his chest increased and he blamed it on his dancing.

He had always known you as the quiet student in his psychology class who sometimes answered the professor's questions. The few times you had talked was in class whenever you had to add points to open discussions. He had always found you to be pretty. He didn't know you personally till now, but he had seen you with Saeko, sitting a few tables away from theirs. He was glad he finally got to talk to the person he had been gaining the courage to talk to properly for a while now.

"Wanna get out of here?" He asked you as he pulled you close.

"Where are you gonna take me?" You poked his nose.

Geto laced his fingers with yours and pulled you out of the crowded area as he took you upstairs. He led you to a balcony that looked down at the city below. You had never really been this high up somewhere so you were awestruck by the view. The cars zoomed past below and the city donned a look you had never seen before. Lights decorated the buildings, light dusts of snow covered the streets as they fell from the sky above.

"Like what you see huh?" Geto snickered.

"This is wonderful—what—I have been missing several things," you leaned over the balcony to get a better look.

"Easy now, don't want you falling over. Also, yeah. This is like my escape, you know. When I get a bit exhausted by the party I come here, especially for the new year's countdown. I like seeing the fireworks," you had completely forgotten that it was new year's in a few minutes now.

"Shit how long since it's the new year?" You gasped at him.

Geto took out his phone from his pocket, squinting his eyes at the screen before putting it away.

"Uh four more minutes," he leaned on the balcony railing as he looked at you.

You could hear the test firecrackers going off in the distance. One then two and they stopped for a moment.

"You look absolutely gorgeous by the way," he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"You don't look too bad yourself. I especially like what you've done with your hair," you gestured at your own to make him understand.

"You like my hair?"

"Oh absolutely. It's stunning. Do tell me your hair care routine."

"Maybe I can text it to you?" He dipped his head down towards you.

"Are you asking for my number Geto Suguru?" You gasped in mock surprise. "Scandalous."

He was opening his mouth to probably say something witty when you both heard it. The countdown to the new year. Loud voices from the floor below started counting. The last ten seconds of this year.

10...

You both looked at the door and then at each other as you shared a small laugh.

9...

He came ever so close to you.

8...

His gaze was set on your eyes as you fiddled with the locket that rested on your chest. The intensity of his gaze made your insides jump.

7...

His hand travelled down to your waist, holding it with a light grip.

6...

Your eyes travelled down from his dark obsidian eyes to his lips as he licked them with a swipe of his tongue. What you would give to just feel them on yours.

5...

"You know I always did think you were a beautiful person. From the moment I first saw you in psychology," he whispered, his breath hot on your face.

4...

"Yea I kinda thought you were okay looking too,"

3...

He laughed at your comment as he pulled you closer by your waist, “just okay?”

2...

You could feel his lips hovering over yours, his eyes fluttering shut just like yours.

“Just okay…” you whispered.

1...

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

The echoes of the plethora of drunk college kids had become background noises the moment you crashed your lips on his.

You could hear the confetti pop and the firecrackers burst lighting the dark midnight sky with a million colours but all that mattered in the moment were his lips that moved in perfect sync with yours. Your hands gripped his hair as his own grip on your waist became tighter. He trapped you against the balcony railing and one of his hands came up to cup your face as he slightly tilted his head in a way to deepen the kiss. You could feel his lips perfectly fit with yours, a taste of mint on his tongue. His cologne invaded your senses, jumbling up your mind further. He smelled of nashi pear, cardamom and vetiver with a hint of woody musk. You felt yourself falling apart due to his entrancing aroma. Kissing Geto Suguru made your stomach do several somersaults and your heart was so erratic in its beating, it could jump out of your ribcage. This felt like a dream. Hell, was this even real?

You pulled away for breath as your eyes scanned his face. There was adoration in his own two dark eyes and something akin to lust.

"Happy new year Suguru," you raked your finger through his hair as his head dropped down on your shoulder.

"Happy new year y/n," he planted a gentle kiss on your shoulder before pecking your neck.

A loud squeal in the very next second, broke the two of you apart.

"OH MY GOD SUGURU, YOU'RE GETTING BITCHES?" Gojo Satoru was smiling mischievously with Saeko by his side.

"Shut up Satoru," Suguru groaned at his best friend rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"I hate you so much, your timing is the worst," he flipped him off before pulling you to his side.

"In my defence I didn't know you would bring someone here this year. Every year you are alone—"

"SHUT UP SATORU," Geto yelled in embarrassment as a tint of red covered his cheeks.

"You don't bring girls here often?" You asked amused.

"Oh he never does. This is the first time!" Gojo stated proudly.

"You're annoying them Satoru," Saeko smacked Gojo's head as the latter whined about everyone being mean to him.

"Ok what is going on? I searched the whole penthouse and you all are here?" A panting Aoi burst through the door.

"Y/n got the guy," Saeko said casually and it was your turn to turn a shade of red.

"SAEKO!?"

"Y/n got the guy? You mean Geto?" She looked over at the two of you as Geto waved at her with a smile.

"Ok this is huge?! Y/n oh my god finally," she squealed in her hands.

"Ok the lot of you can leave you know? Just give us some time alone, geez," you ushered your friends away including Gojo who would not leave without giving Suguru a rough smack on his back.

"Did you like me? You know, before this?" He took your hand in his as he rubbed circles on the back of each of them.

"Kind of," you sighed. "I mean I guess I did have a small crush on you?"

"Okay so now we definitely need that number," he tilted your chin up as he pecked you lightly before bumping his forehead with your.

You could say you had a pretty eventful start to the new year.

[lagoonalake]

Could you do ideal type for Ateez please?

ATEEZ IDEAL TYPE

!!!Trigger warning!!! mention of depression and other heavy topics especially in Jongho's reading

SEONGHWA

Personality: 9 of swords, 7 of cups, 2 of pentacles

He tends to be drawn towards anxious types, people whose mind is a bit of a mess, chaotic or who feel overwhelmed and he wants to help them cut through the confusion with his assertive and decisive energy, make them feel safe. He is attracted to his opposite. In return this person would be more moderate than he is, more nuanced and realistic, more intellectual and communicative, this is someone who thinks a lot, too much actually. Thoughts are always swirling in their mind, and they can visualize so many possibilities that it’s hard to be more centered. This is giving genius energy a little bit, very intellectual. This is a person who is also quite fast paced and efficient, good at multitasking. air signs especially gemini and aquarius, mercury, virgo, cancer

Appearance:  the hierophant, 9 of pentacles, the star

Traditionally beautiful according to Korean standards, slender, smooth pale skin, silky hair, well dressed, clean, sophisticated and who wear quality clothes, luxury brands, but nothing too flashy. Someone who can looks a bit vulnerable and sensitive, soft features, full lips, big kinda droopy puppy eyes, cute face. A mixture of innocence and a more corporate/classy sort of look.  virgo, libra, capricorn, cancer

Turn offs: 7 of wands, temperance, 7 of pentacles

Masculinity, people who are domineering, unrefined. People with poker faces who don’t express any vulnerability and seem to be in complete control of themselves, who seem devoid of human emotions and act more like robots. He clearly prefers a more vulnerable, feminine type who needs his protection. It’s not (only lol) because of traditional gender roles, but because he has a genuine strong masculine energy to offer, so he wants someone who can appreciate that. aries, saturn, aquarius, capricorn, mars

HONGJOONG

Personality: the chariot, the star, the sun

Someone with a very positive energy, focused on the future, who wants to make the world a better place, to connect with people most likely through their art and creation, as this is definitely a very creative and artistic person. Deeply engaged in their cause, inspiring others and using their charisma and visibility for a good cause. Someone who has a very radiant, warm, shining presence, leadership skills, authority but always used in a guiding and protective way, never to dominate or put themselves above others. Someone who feels like a rush of energy. Bravely and boldly moving towards their goals undefeated. Passionately following their heart and ideals. Dynamic vibrant personality full of ideas and dreams.  sagittarius, leo, aquarius, uranus, jupiter, pisces

Appearance: the tower, 4 of pentacles, the world

Someone with a big presence, who could even be big in some way physically, tall, wide. Who can have a incredibly intimidating yet incredibly reassuring presence that would wrap around him. Someone who most of the time is very awake, very vibrant yet very calm and stable, but you feel the heat boiling under the surface and if you piss them off then they would explode. Just a LOT of energy. A more masculine style, square jaw, strong bone structure, sturdy body, strength. Black hair, tan skin. sagittarius, leo, scorpio, capricorn, taurus, aries

Turn offs: 3 of cups, 9 of cups, the wheel of fortune

Laziness, people who leave everything to chance, who always had it easy in life and can just chill and wait for things to fall in their lap. People who don’t take action. Passivity. People without direction or vision in life. People who party all the time. negative pisces, neptune, taurus, leo, sagittarius

YUNHO

Personality: the devil, 10 of wands, 3 of wands

People who are very driven, potentially who could even become consumed by their ego and ambitions, quite selfish. The kind who could do pretty much anything to achieve their objective. This could be a specific person he’s currently involved with, but it’s also a pattern that repeats itself in his relationships. He also tends to let himself be taken by partners who use him because of his status to further their own career, people who seduce him, who are very sexually magnetic, but who hide this fierce and ruthless energy underneath a smoother more sensual facade. Vampiric people who suck him dry and exhaust him and who will get extremely defensive if he calls them out on their bs. negative libra, aries, leo, scorpio, pluto

Appearance: 9 of pentacles, 3 of pentacles, knight of swords

Sensual earthy beauty, very attractive body shape, curvy, alluring smile and laugh, I’m hearing giggling, but with something sharp in their eyes, smile, could have a seductive smirk, long nails… Coyness, something cunning about them, witty, a bit mischievous. Beautiful thick curly or wavy hair, burgundy/brown/gold/green earthy colors. Feminine sophisticated style, silk, velvet, lingerie. Elaborate makeup. Enticing perfume. Very lush overall appearance.  venus, mercury, earth signs in general especially taurus

Turn offs: king of swords, 6 of pentacles, ace of wands

People who are cold, detached, too serious. Equality in relationships haha, he sees love as something all consuming, so there tends to be power imbalance in his relationships, it’s just not as intense and exciting if everything is perfectly healthy and balanced for him. Too much spontaneity or masculinity, someone who makes decisions. Although he tends to attract people who control him, they do it in an indirect way, not in a direct masculine assertive sort of way. giving him the illusion of being in control. aries, libra, aquarius

YEOSANG

Personality: king of pentacles, the empress, 6 of swords

I feel like he has this plan of a perfect life and marriage. Basically he intends to have enough money to then live in abundance in his big house with a very loving, beautiful doting partner. The image that comes to mind is of this serene, peaceful, quiet, dreamy, environment, surrounded by birds and flowers, nature and possibly having babies. He likes the idea of making a woman pregnant. Definitely he is attracted to a more traditional housewife sort of partner, someone beautiful, loving, kind, who would enjoy all the stability and riches he has to offer. He wants a calmer life after the chaotic idol lifestyle too, away from the entertainment industry.  taurus, libra, cancer, virgo, pisces

Appearance: ace of cups, ace of wands, the fool

Definitely a youthful and expressive type. Possibly younger than him. Very innocent, spontaneous, a face that you can read like a book. Big, emotional eyes, sensitive, vulnerable, soft. But it become very noticeable when they get angry or embarrassed too, maybe they become red, have blood rushing to their face. Just very untainted, childlike sort of energy. NOT a poker face. Brighter colors, milky white skin. Petite. Likes a nice butt. Eyes that smile, just someone who laughes a lot in general. Could cry easily too. Feminine and cute.  cancer, mercury, leo, aries

Turn offs: the hermit, 5 of cups, queen of wands

Cold, super private, somber types. People who are depressed, who have too much history, too much baggage. People who are not very sociable. Loners. Overly spiritual people detached from material life. People who are always negative, pessimistic, who are always complaining about something, always have a sad story to tell. People who are domineering, too independent, bossy, controlling.  scorpio, saturn, pisces, sagittarius, mars

SAN

Personality: 9 of pentacles, page of pentacles, strength

A very strong, sturdy, physical type of person, more masculine energy. The type who could live in the countryside and chop wood without being afraid of breaking a nail or messing up their hairstyle. Tough, more rustic, hardy type of person. someone very grounded, who enjoys a simple lifestyle, but very stubborn, very opinionated. A simple person, bit loud, direct, not the most refined type. Funny. Someone with a specific routine, disciplined, organized. Someone who enjoys life and every pleasure it has to offer, hard working and hedonistic. Youthful and optimistic. A breath of fresh air who would help him relax and at the same time match his lifestyle and desires. taurus, leo, aries, jupiter

Appearance: 2 of wands, judgment, high priestess

Someone who would make a strong impression on him. Muscular and strong, especially when it comes to the legs. Intense aura, subtly seductive and who does not reveal their sexual energy but he’d be able to feel it very strongly. Apart from that strong physique (could be attracted to a dancer or an athlete) there isn’t much about looks and specific features I’m catching, mostly that this person is self assured, intense, has strong sexual energy but keeps it in control, and would magnetize him. I’m also getting that he tends to fall in love pretty quickly. mars, sagittarius, taurus, pluto

Turn offs: 3 of swords, knight of pentacles, king of swords

Someone who would betray him. Slow, cold, hyper controlled energy, someone who seems more machine than human. Someone detached, overly intellectual. Stubborn, boring, who never allows themselves to enjoy life. Someone manipulative, always strategizing and never sharing their thoughts. Lack of trust in relationships in general, he really prefers someone who is kinda chill, warm and open. saturn, aquarius, gemini, capricorn

MINGI

Personality: page of pentacles, 5 of pentacles, queen of pentacles

Very stable, grounded, patient individuals. Here again we have money as a theme. He wants to be a provider. So someone who can appreciate that, and who is good at managing money, organized. Calm, soothing energy. Secretary vibes. Very practical, efficient. Someone with integrity, devoted to him. Sensual, he wants his partner close. The physical and sexual connection is very important. Not just the sex but actually to be able to touch, hug, hold his partner. Someone who can handle his clinginess and reassure him.  earth signs

Appearance: 6 of wands, justice, 2 of swords

Someone he can show off to the world, so who fits beauty standards in his own country and environment. Harmonious, balanced, symmetrical features. Classically beautiful. Could look a bit haughty or uptight, but very charming, lovely, agreable. Nothing too extreme, but still someone who stands out for their beauty. Slender, on the taller side or with “a small head/face”. The color white, white clothes, clean, flawless, immaculate. Someone with good manners, “proper”, polite, charming smile. libra, taurus, virgo

Turn offs: 7 of cups, death, 5 of swords

People who are disconnected from reality, delusional, people who are obsessive, too intense, destructive, chaotic, extreme (it’s giving sasaeng lol). Someone who would want to turn his life upside down, change everything, someone who is always in crisis mode, always going through transformation, has no stability. Someone always looking for a fight, always creating arguments and bringing up topics to kill the mood and bicker over. He isn’t that deep of a guy and prefers simplicity and ease in relationships. pisces, scorpio, aquarius

WOOYOUNG

Personality: the moon, knight of cups, queen of swords

Someone kinda hard to figure out, more shy and reserved, who has a gentle, sensitive, romantic, seemingly innocent quality. Yet someone who is not easily fooled and has strong boundaries. A bit frigid or virginal in appearance. It doesn’t mean that he wants to be with virgins only, but there is something pure and untouchable about his type. The kind of person who only let in the most deserving. Yet he wants to be let in. He’s not particularly deserving though. XD It’s kinda like this impulse that some guys have to break and corrupt the good girl, the proper woman. Could be someone who seems perfect, always in control, everybody thinks that they are so kind, so polite, so charming, yet he wants to see what’s behind the mask. Someone he would tease a lot, I sort of see him making crass jokes and the other person looking slightly offended but still finding it funny, that’s partly how he would charm them. He wants to see this person loosen up. virgo, libra, pisces, cancer

Appearance: 2 of pentacles, 4 of wands, 5 of cups

This could very well be a specific person. Because this fits the personality a lot. Someone who seems very balanced, looks perfect, marriage material, very in control, calm, poised, charming, popular even. Yet he can perceive a sadness and melancholy behind the mask that intrigues him. When it comes to looks and features, this person is traditionally beautiful, warm appearance, natural beauty, soft and kind face. Soothing gestures, just seems trustworthy and available to everyone,friendly, welcoming presence that people tend to gravitate towards.  virgo, libra, pisces

Turn offs: king of wands, 9 of pentacles, 9 of cups

Showoffs. People who easily succumb to flattery. Always bragging about their achievements, their happiness, their possessions. Loud, attention seeking people. He’s going to tease them big time and call them out on their bs. People who have it easy in life, who have nothing to do all day but enjoy their luxurious lifestyle. Party people who expose themselves to the world. It’s not only that he finds it unattractive, but he finds it stupid and reckless, he thinks this is the perfect recipe to be used by others, and that these people are slaves to their egos, so he pities them a little and he knows how to play them like a fiddle. He is a very intelligent and intuitive guy, and he can be manipulative if he needs to, although he will try to preserve certain types of people that he will feel a bit protective towards.  negative leo, taurus, neptune, pisces

JONGHO

Personality: 10 of swords, the moon, the star

He is attracted to people who need to be saved. Heavy energies. People who could have some kind of issue, maybe addictions, or suffering from depression, or who have been wounded, could even be someone who is physically limited in some way, someone who needs assistance. People who have it really really hard, and wouldn’t really be able to keep going without help. He wants to soothe and protect them, to heal them and give them hope again, to make them see the light at the end of the tunnel. These people are kind and have a lot of depth, they are ultra sensitive and possibly this is why they are not able to face the darkness and difficulties of the world. This is the kind of relationship that would go through a lot of ups and downs, mainly because of this person’s mind being unstable and fragile, but he would keep going and not abandon them.   pisces, neptune, scorpio, pluto, saturn

Appearance: ace of swords, the hermit, king of cups

This seems again like a specific energy, an actual person he could be involved with. Someone who is kind of a loner, withdrawn, lonely, rarely seen surrounded by other people. The first impression that they give is kinda austere, somber. Features could be a bit pointy or sharp, austere. Could be underweight or sickly looking. Someone who has a lot of depth in their eyes. Very intense eyes. Could look a bit difficult to approach at first, a bit feral. But is actually soft. Could look restrained in some ways. Mature, calm, quiet expression. Deep and melancholic look. The color blue, dark blue, grey, black and white. Slow energy. Cold and cutting voice.  saturn, scorpio, capricorn, pluto

Turn offs: the lovers, 6 of pentacles, the hierophant

So here again we have someone who doesn’t really like a relationship that is too balanced, with equal give and take. For him relationships are sacrificial, all of nothing. He is also drawn to people who need help, so anyone a bit too easy to deal with, too easygoing is not gonna be able to keep his attention. Anything a bit too traditional isn’t very interesting either.  libra, taurus, virgo

[ginxyy]

Recipe of love

Cooking classes, jealousy and confessions with Mingyu



A soft hum resonated in the air, dancing around the cozy cooking studio where the intoxicating scent of herbs and spices mingled with the sweet melody of laughter. I stood there, inhaling the rich aromas that twisted around me like a tender embrace. Today was a special day a day for love, laughter, and a dash of culinary romance. Mingyu, my vibrant and charming boyfriend, was bubbling with excitement as we’d signed up for a couples cooking class together, a surprise he’d arranged to indulge his passion for cooking.

“It’ll be fun! You’ll see,” he had promised me that morning, his eyes sparkling with anticipation, and I couldn’t resist his enthusiasm. Mingyu had a way of turning every ordinary moment into something extraordinary, simply by being himself.

As we entered the main room filled with colorful ingredients laid out on rustic wooden tables, I felt an exhilarating wave of excitement wash over me. I turned to him, my heart fluttering as I watched his broad smile light up the entire room. He was everything I had ever dreamed of and more the kind of guy who could cook up a storm and make my heart race all at once.

After a cheerful introduction from our charismatic chef a young man with an infectious grin we were divided into groups, and Mingyu wasted no time diving into the experience. He loved cooking, and I adored watching him lose himself in it. His hands moved deftly as he chopped vegetables, his focus unwavering, his laughter echoing as he playfully teased me about my culinary skills or lack thereof.

Just as the lesson began, Mingyu excused himself to fetch some fresh ingredients from the pantry nearby. I stood at our station, eagerly mixing and attempting to keep up with the rest of the class. It was during this moment of solitude that I found myself in conversation with the chef, who was offering advice and patiently helping me understand the nuances of flavor.

“So, do you cook often?” he asked with casual charm, his hands deftly showcasing a chef’s technique. I found myself smiling, enjoying the light banter, oblivious to Mingyu's return until I felt a presence beside me.

I turned to see him standing there, arms crossed, his expression a mixture of curiosity and barely concealed jealousy. It was endearing and a little funny, watching this usually laid-back guy transform into a protective lover. His brows were knitted together, and I could see the slight pout on his lips.

“Mingyu!” I laughed, waving him over with excitement. “The chef was just giving me tips on how to chop onions!”

But my boyfriend's demeanor didn’t soften. Instead, the intensity in his eyes made my heart race. He took a step towards me, placing a gentle but firm hand on my waist, pulling me protectively against him. “You’re doing just fine, right?” he asked, his tone slightly sulky, glancing pointedly at the chef, who, luckily for him, seemed obliviously engaged with another couple.

“Right,” I said, trying to hold back my laughter at his adorably jealous nature. “But it’s just cooking class. You know I love how passionate you are about it.”

“I know.” His voice softened a little, but I could feel the tension in him. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, a gesture that sent delightful shivers down my spine. “I just… I don’t want you getting too cozy with him.”

“Mingyu,” I sighed, looking up into his deep, brown eyes that radiated warmth, yet flickered with uncertainty. “You have nothing to worry about. You are my everything.”

At that moment, I could sense he still didn’t fully believe me. So, I took a leap, caught up in my emotions. I leaned closer, tilting my head just slightly, and pressed my lips to his. It was a kiss filled with all the longing I had felt bubbling beneath the surface, a soft spark; I wanted to reassure him, to silence the little fears swirling in his heart.

When I pulled back, I looked straight into his eyes. “I only have eyes for you, Mingyu. I love you.”

The words hung between us, heavier than I had anticipated, yet oddly liberating. The flicker of surprise in his gaze was quickly replaced with joy that illuminated his entire face. It felt monumental, as if we had crossed an uncharted threshold together, finally admitting the love that had been slowly brewing between us for months.

“I love you too,” he said, his voice barely a whisper but rich with sincerity. He took my face in his hands, kissing me fervently, sweetly, as if sealing a promise. “I love you so much. I can’t believe you said it first.”

Our class seemed to fade away as we lost ourselves in each other’s presence. I felt his warmth envelop me, the world outside our little bubble blurring into a distant memory. His kisses deepened, full of affection and relief; with each press of his lips against mine, I felt the weight of his jealousy lift, replaced by a comforting surrender to our bond.

Once we pulled away, faces flushed and hearts racing, I couldn’t help but chuckle at our earlier moment of tension. “I think you have a future as a jealous boyfriend, you know,” I teased, still breathless from his kisses.

“Well, I’ll have to work on that.” He chuckled, brushing his thumb softly along my cheek. “But only for you. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

As our smiles faded into a comfortable silence, I knew we were just getting started. We returned to our cooking, the atmosphere now laden with the sweetness of our confessions a heartwarming blend of love and longing, just like the spices in our dishes.

Every laugh, every playful jab exchanged between us as we stirred and sautéed felt like the beginning of many shared memories to come. That day, amidst the chaos of cooking and clattering pans, we discovered not just the basics of culinary art, but the ingredients of a relationship fortified by love a love that would grow, season after season, meal after meal.

From that moment, I realized with certainty that no matter what lay ahead, it would always be Mingyu and I, embarking on this delightful journey together, hand in hand, heart to heart.

[wilcze-kudly]

your analyses of Lin came to mind the other day when I saw someone post about how “Lin should be able to smack Korra at least once.” And like. It’s not just one post, it seems to be a common ‘jokey’ attitude in the fandom, and…it’s really interesting how much the fandom loves Lin acting violent and aggressive towards everyone - particularly against Korra, who acts in a similar “aggressive” manner but not nearly as shitty (imo), but the fandom seems to despise her for it.

So I was wondering if you have any thoughts specifically on Lin and Korra’s relationship? Both in canon and how the fandom treats them?

Oh yeah, I think I've seen that post! I've honestly been wanting to do more Lin metas but have been holding off because back when I posted a lor of Suyin defences I got a not insignificant amount of nasty anonymous asks, and I know that Lin is beloved by the fandom so while I make my passive aggressive comment from time to time, actually dwelling on the subject is a bit of a gambit.

Honestly, it's not even that I dislike Lin. I actually enjoyed her character a fair amount when I first watched the show and was totally on board with the fandom loving this character. But eventually I got so tired of the constant takes about how everyone in Lin's life is soooo mean to her and how she never did anything wrong and she's secretly just a lil bean , she's just a biy grumpy guys.

And, oh, the jokey comments about how Lin should be allowed to smack Korra, a teen, who, in my opinion gets smacked around fairly enough in the show. Or how she should be allowed to curbstomp Tenzin, despite us knowing very little about their relationship other than the fact that Lin atatcked his house and misused her power as a police officer to terrorise his new partner. Or how Suyin, a woman who has gone through so much to change and become a better person and still keeps ger heart open for those who hurt her, should die or be killed.

Like yeah, they're jokes, but they speak to how the fandom quickly takes Lin's side in most situations, even when there is more nuance to the situation. I think taht due to tlok having such a large amount of violence and fight scenes ans perhaps due to the personality of Korra herself, the fandom has normalised Lin's aggressive and often physical behaviour. And because most of the characters are teens, Lin's immaturity as a person doesn't stick out too much.

But Lin isn't a teen, like Korra or Mako. She's a 50+ year old woman and a fucking cop at that. She should know better. I think one of my favourite questions Lin's character mames me ask is: "how long can you cling to your trauma before its your responsibility to strive to do better?".

This isn't to say that Lin is a horrible person. I'd actually say she's a pretty good person. It's obvious she cares and she can try to be empathetic when the chips are down. But her lack of emotional maturity makes it difficult for her to actually act on her feelings when not in a life or death situation.

Ultimately this is what I like about Lin as a character, her duality. A very protective and thoghtful person, who has stagnated in a shell of anger and aggression.

And I think Lin's relationship with Korra ilustrates this duality perfectly.

I do enjoy Lin and Korra's arguments due to their chemistry and the excellent voice acting. But like it is still an adult yelling at and holding an actual grudge against a 17 year old. Who is already under a huge amount of stress.

I also think that we often forget that in her tiffs with Lin, Korra often starts off with a suprising amount of calmness and grace. She often attempts to actively connect with Lin and express her point through conversation, despite this being sonething Korra markedly struggles with.

Korra : But there were some thugs threatening a helpless shopkeeper, and I had it ... Lin: [Aggressively.] Can it! You should have called the police and stayed out of the way. Korra: [Slightly pleading tone.] But I couldn't jut sit by and do nothing. It's my duty to help people. See, I'm the Avatar.

[...]

Korra: Wait, Beifong? Lin Beifong? [Excitedly.] You're Toph's daughter! Lin: [Seriously.] What of it? Korra: [A hint of amusement suppressed in her tone.] Well then, why are you treating me like a criminal? Avatar Aang and your mother were friends. They saved the world together.

Through the first season, we're lead to infer that Lin's unfounded animosity towards Korra has something to do with her grudge against Tenzin. I can see this not only due to Tenzin's association witg Korra as her teacher and the son of the previous Avatar, but also due to some similarities between Korra ans Tenzin. They're both people saddled with a major responsibility and legacy, who struggle with forming their own identity due to that legacy. Plus, the comic we got about young Tenzin is essentially 1 to 1 Korra's first day in republic city.

Side note: can we stop demonising Tenzin for leaving Lin? I'm pretty sure it's not confirmed that Tenzin left her purely because he needed to have children. And honestly if after he broke up with Lin, she damaged his home, used her posution to terrorise his new partner, and held a grudge for 11+ years, I'm honestly not to sure what to think about their relationship pre breakup. ESPECIALLY with how willy nilly tlok plays with female on male abuse. No, I'm not saying Lin is an abusor, but there may be other factors we need to consider. I mean Lin does outwardly laugh and sympathise with Korra throwing Mako's desk across the room which is the Makorra abuse moment ™️

Though I also adore the implication in B3 that Lin is also reminded of Suyin by Korra. This also is a comparison that makes sense. Korra and Su were both young, rebellious women who had to leave home to find themselves. Both had tendency to be sarcastic and were opinionated and had a habit of defying authority etc.

And I think this may be even more of a reason why Lin has such an aggresive vendetta against Korra and also why she's so controlling in the later seasons. Particularly when she gets on Korra's ass at the party and says that Korra is "nothing special" feels targeted towards Lin feeling like Suyin got special treatment.

Lin being controlling towards Korra can also be seen as her trying to compensate for when she tried to similarly control Su, but Suyin ended up defying her. (While I see a lot of people bring up parentification between Lin and Su, I'll lean more towards it being a very intense rivalry)

Either way, Korra reminds Lin of people who have hurt her and the hurt she seems to cling to in some parody of comfort in familiarity.

This is one of the most visible patterns in Lin I see. Her absolute abhorrence of changing her mindset. She holds a grudge against Tenzin for over 11 years. She holds a grudge against Su and Toph for longer than that. She is so horrifically resistant to even touching the idsa that Suyin had changed as a person. And even after her and Su make up, the moment the opportunity arrises, Lin is back to typecasting Suyin as the bad guy.

People say that Korra was too harsh in The Metal Clan when she called Lin out.

Korra : Su's right. You're never going to change. You're always gonna be a bitter, lonely woman.

And yeah, it was objectively an incredibly mean thing to say and Korra was quite out of line. But she's not wrong. We see Lin struggle with making human connections, we've deduced that her grip on the past makes her hold grudges against people she's never met. We see her be immature, aggressive and emotionally closed off. If she were a healthy individual outside of Zaofu, I would encourage her distancing herself from Suyin. But clearly whatever coping mechanism Lin has is leaving her pushing people away and treating teenagers like her peers.

Like something clearly needs to change.

And I think that's another reason why Korra and Lin are such a fun duo. Because Korra goes through so mucuhchange herself. She shanges the world, she changes the lives of her friends, she changes herself.

And that's something Lin desperately needs and yet fears all the same. This also makes it even more interesting that Aiwei, a member of the Red Lotus who embody that "change" concept was a vital part of Lin and Suyin begining to reconcile.

And I think Lin knows this, to some extent. She knows her coping mechanisms are flawed, but she doesn't want to acknowledge this. But I need to talk about Lin's babystep trail of an arc in a different post.

I was gonna say that Lin and Korra are also similar but honestly other than their tempers and tendency to terrorise their tallass ex boyfriends, there isn't much there.

I still find Lin and Korra's relationship to have some sweet moments. I loved Lin and Korra's moment of kinship afterthey both lost their bending, how gently Korra grabbed Lin after she passed out in Zaofu, how Lin helped Korra get up the stairs after she was paralysed.

I think that one of the reasons they argue so much in B3 partocularly is because they care for each other quite a bit. They just embody two polar opposites. Korra- change and danger. Lin- stagnation and protection. Of course they'll fight.

----

I don't exactly like how fandom treats Korra and Lin's relationship because it always feels ao watered down. This kinda extends to the entire Krew too. The 'Lin is like the Krew's mom' thing. Because on the jokey surface, yeah, i see it. Female authority figure who makes sure they don't get into trouble. Plus fandom has a tendency to forcefully assign cishet traditional family dynamics to found family.

But on a deeper level, acting as if Lin were a mother to the Krew is in my opinion, a bit of an insult to mothers everywhere. Because Lin acts less like an adult and more like a... slightly older teen? Which makes sense, we see that very little has changed in how Lin approaches young people since she was 22. She treats the Krew like peers, bickering with them and making snide comments, but then pulls the authority figure when she wants something. That's like the worst type of adult.

[This is ironic because my mom is actually very much like Lin and this is probably why I gave her so much of a pass when I watched tlok the first time]

Lin is a big sister/aunt figure to most of the Krew at best. Maybe except Mako but he has his own demons and is making himself a son figure whether Lin likes it or not.

But Korra is basically Lin's stand-in for her sister and they both act like it too. They act like me and my sister tbh. And Asami and Bolin barely interact with Lin anyway. There's more ground to posit Su as Bolin's potential mother figure!

Lin is a fascinating character to me, but fandom tropes have sorta ruined her for me. I came into the fandom really liking her character but ended up sorta jaded to seeing the same questionable takes about her over and over again. It just makes me see how little her potential is explored in the show. The writers failed Lin, not by not allowing her to 'win' against Su and Korra and Tenzin and whoever. They failed her by not giving her the storyline she needed. The storyline for which the main catalyst, Korra already was at the centre of the board. They half assed Lin's storyline and now literally every character who so much as looked at Lin has to pay the price.

[Ooh wow symbolism Lin glaring at Zaofu, Suyin's home, but actually glaring at her own reflection.]

I now realise that I have gone on for way too long and got hotrifically off topic, but I hope I have explained at least a few if my thoughts?

[negrowhat]

We're talking about Narrative Tops who would LOVE to be Railed

@poetry-protest-pornography has decided to make top/bottom discourse a little less serious on this hellsite. Let me insert the disclaimer here:

(disclaimer: i generally hate top/bottom discourse, because it's so weirdly gendered and un-nuanced, but for the sake of this, we're going with narratively assigned sex roles)

And then let's talk about assigned BL Tops who would LOVE to be railed by their assigned BL Bottoms.

Bai Zong Yi from Kiseki: Dear to Me. No one is ever going to convince me that Zong Yi wouldn't be an absolute eager beaver to be underneath Ze Rui's fine ass. He's done his research. He knows how these things go and he loves to learn and Ze Rui is sort of a teacher. In my mind they be dipping and flipping each other.

Win from Between Us. If I'm not mistaken, in the source material Team was very much interested in topping Win. Also Win's character just seems like the top to be versatile and not just strictly a top. Maybe he wants to have his face buried in the pillows every now and again and he deserves to get his back blown out. He literally takes care of everyone else, someone should take care of him. Also...let's remember his horny response to Team slamming him into lockers in that one scene.

Xiang Hao Ting from History 3: Trapped. All I am going to say is that ONE scene where Hao Ting was straddling Xi Gu's lap and arching his back in the sluttiest way I've ever seen is definitely bottoming at some point. And I just know he would be LOUD! Literally think about Xi Gu having Hao Ting spread out more frequently then I would like.

Payu from Love in the Air. I've mentioned this in a character analysis, but in my mind, Rain is topping Payu at least once a month. Rain and Payu have that sort of dynamic where the power goes back and forth and I know there are times when Rain is allowed to screw Payu silly. I just know it. Also...Rain deserves an opportunity to smack on Payu's ass.

Nuea from Secret Crush on You. OK this one is canon and I'm just putting it on this list because not enough people talk about it. Nuea is such a stereotypical depiction of a top in dramas and I just love that he and Toh had conversations about switching it up. I love that Nuea also just let Toh know that if he wanted to top then he would have to be serious about it and actually put in that work and also be the one in control. Also Nuea has definitely expressed his interest in being taken by Toh (as long as he was serious about it). So this is real, it happened in the series and I just need for people to know that IdolFactory is doing good things.

This is only a few. I could keep going...but then again in my mind...all the couple are vers unless stated otherwise.

[bengiyo]

Thoughts on Office Relationships, Breakups, Outings, and More in August ‘24 Shows

I couldn’t bring myself to finish Cosmetic Playlover today, so instead I decided to write about three shows doing interesting things with relationships right now. I don’t really have the time or interest in Stray Thoughts anymore, so I hope y’all enjoy this. For the past two weeks I’ve been thinking about the breakups and new relationships in The Trainee and Mr. Mitsuya’s Planned Feeding, and now I’m also thinking about Takara being upfront with Taishin about the state of their relationship on Takara’s Treasure. I want to get some of these thoughts down for posterity. 

The Ba-Mhee and Tae Breakup on The Trainee

I genuinely love that this show followed through on these two splitting up. I also like that Ba-Mhee asked to take the time to figure out what she’s feeling for Judy before doing something else. Ba-Mhee seems to define herself a lot by the relationship she’s in, and it was sad to see her struggling with the way Tae didn’t always respond to her attempts at expressing care and affection–methods which he never asked for. I think the two of them definitely needed to separate, because it’s not going to work if she’s feeling insecure because Tae is working hard in his preferred field.

That being said, I don’t like the thing with Judy because we know so little about Judy. All I really know about Judy right now is that she’s a workaholic with few personal relationships outside of the office, she’s queer, and she is good at handling clients. When she went to see Ba-Mhee after kissing her drunk intern the night before her anniversary at a work event, I wasn’t keen on the way it felt like Judy managed Ba-Mhee in that scene. Judy feels a bit inaccessible as a character right now, and I hope that’s a choice the show is making about how Ba-Mhee’s relationship with Judy is also rather one-sided, and entirely about her. I hope part of Ba-Mhee’s queer journey is recognizing how she seems to define herself by her relationships, and finds an identity independent of romance.

As for Judy… I hope there’s more to her here than just being pretty and good at her job. We’ve been let down twice this year by GL office romance, and I’d like for that to not be a constant trend. I’d like to see them give her nuance in her pursuit of a relationship with one of her reports.

Lastly, I really loved that Tae is trying to figure out how to be single again, and Pah got mad on his behalf. It’s a good compromise in a genre that seems to really not want characters to be  mad at each other for too long, especially when one of them has really hurt another. Tae got to be sad, and someone got to be righteous on his behalf. We even had good storytelling come out of these two using their jobs to punish each other, with it being very clear that these were bad choices. 

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko Betrayed Its Characters

While I’m here, let me just say that the back half of this show was utterly offensive, and actively betrayed its own characters. I cannot believe that Hiroko’s own community was so quick to betray her trust and out her repeatedly. I cannot believe this show abandoned Hiroko’s straight girl problems from the beginning for a message that “It’s not that bad now, so just come out. I cannot believe this show had a Boob Monster lesbian withhold sex from her horny girlfriend for a year so she could “cherish her.” I am baffled by all of the choices that went into this, and I will not be recommending it. It gets a 4 from me. 

Jane’s Ex on The Trainee

I thought it was really interesting to introduce an ex at this point while Ba-Mhee and Ryan are both considering potential relationships with their mentors. There are consequences in a professional field when you date within your field for some folks, and it’s clear that happened with Jane. Nine, the ex, was here to once again benefit from Jane’s talents, and Jane did not seem like he expected to receive any real credit or benefit from that work. I’m curious if the show intends for any resolution for Jane with Nine, or if he’s here as a romantic tool for Ryan.

Speaking of Ryan, he is clearly in his early 20s, because his jealousy spiral exhausted me. Jane was obviously not into that man, and assured Ryan that he would be back later by making sure he and Ryan had plans for later. I hope we get back to Ryan actually being a good supporter when he’s focused and motivated, especially now that we know that Jo was meant to illuminate things about Pah.

Mitsuya’s Breakup with Noguchi on Mr. Mitsuya’s Planned Feeding

One of my favorite things about this age-gap story is that Mitsuya has been out for a long time, and he has a romantic and sexual history. I loved that he’s had an on again-off again relationship that he needed to bring to a close as part of his own story, and I loved how it wasn’t the ugliest of breakups. These two men know each other intimately, and this final break for them turned into a small celebration of what they had between them. Important things got aired, they snipped a little at each other, and they got to enjoy one last meal together in a way that added a gentle finality to the situation.

On Ishida’s end, I absolutely loved that he’s continued to be upright with Mitsuya about his feelings, called their date what it was, and stepped down from his professional role with Mitsuya. On top of that, I actually love that it was Noguchi that gave him the final inspiration he needed to go back to sports and face his own angst there. It’s actually so special for me that a 27 year-old man who felt like he had to give up on his dreams is finding a way to do something with the specific feelings he has about that. 

I’m also never getting over Ishida telling Mitsuya that he wants to be seen as a man and not a cute kid.This, right after introducing Mitsuya to a food he’d never experienced before! We can thank @isaksbestpillow for making this possible, and this feels especially poignant for me right after we said goodbye to Okita Kakeru, who explicitly wanted to be seen as cute. I am really excited about the queer themes that keep coming out of this show, and I’m sure I’ll have more to say.

Takara and Taishin Avoiding Breakup Nonsense on Takara’s Treasure

So often in these shows with small age gaps in school, they never seem to know how to cope with graduation. I finished rewatching You’re My Sky last night, and that show solved it with travel for one couple, and external collaboration for the mains. I loved this show having the older partner ask the junior directly about the challenges of life after graduation for them as a couple. 

This worked so well, because the show has shown us for weeks that Taishin is always paying attention to Takara, and @lurkingshan detailed how many ways Taishin showed that he understood Takara this week, and I appreciated @clownshoessqueaking covering how Takara has managed his restraint across this show. It’s just so rare that we see two characters have the important conversation that needs to be had, and give each other the exact assurances they need. Taishin got to hear directly from Takara about how things were going for them, and was able to say that he wanted the relationship and initiate physical intimacy between them. 

For all that this show has felt really quiet for two months, it’s becoming one of the shows I will likely remember from this year. 

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

[doumadono]

emergency request

work has been stressful. i’m having panic attacks, and i’m dealing with a lot of disability related stuff on top of it. (in short: frequent episodes of not being able to move. at all.)

i don’t know if you write geto (didn’t see him on your masterlist), but if so, i would really appreciate a little geto x f!reader comfort fluff. if you’re not comfortable writing geto, i would happily accept aizawa.

thanks 🖤

A/N: I'm truly sorry to hear that you've been going through such a challenging time. Work-related stress, panic attacks, and dealing with disability-related matters must be incredibly tough. Take the time you need for self-care. You're stronger than you know, and I believe in your resilience ♥ If you ever want to talk or share more, I'm here for you. Take care of yourself, my dear! I genuinely hope this brief story brings you some comfort. Please be gentle with me - it's only my second time writing for him

JUJUTSU KAISEN EMERGENCY REQS

Geto was exceptionally perceptive, noticing subtle shifts in your mood long before you verbalized them.

He paid close attention to the nuances of your expressions, from the smallest furrow in your brow to the way your gaze shifted.

Initially, he observed in silence, not wanting to intrude but filing away mental notes about the patterns of your emotional landscape.

Geto became adept at distinguishing between your ordinary fluctuations and the more pronounced signs of emotional turmoil, honing in on the moments when you became increasingly weighed down.

He noticed the small details — how your laughter lost its genuine lilt or how your smile didn't quite reach your eyes during particularly trying times.

He was observant not only of the highs and lows but the nuances in between, recognizing the subtleties of emotions that might elude others. 

Finally, one day, he asked, "You seem a bit distant lately. Anything you want to talk about?”

You tentatively shared glimpses of your struggles, allowing Geto to see the vulnerability you kept hidden from others. "It's just work stress, I guess. Been feeling overwhelmed…”

Geto pulled you into a reassuring hug. “I'm here, baby. Pour it out.”

The walls around your emotions started to crumble. “I've been having panic attacks, and it's affecting every part of my life. I'm just so… tired… emotionally exhausted, you know?”

He tenderly planted a series of gentle kisses on your forehead. "Don't fret, my dear. This too shall pass. All you have to do is be patient and show kindness to the wonderful soul of yours that I hold so dearly. Come, let me take care of you.”

The weight of the day pressed heavily on your shoulders as you stumbled into the shared apartment. The air felt thick with the residue of stress, and every step carried the burden of exhaustion. In a rare moment of vulnerability, the dam holding back the emotions broke, and you couldn't contain the torrent any longer.

Without warning, you began to scream, a raw and primal release of the pent-up frustrations and anxieties that had accumulated throughout the day. The sound echoed through the walls, a cathartic symphony of anguish. With each scream, you shed a layer of the burdens you had carried for far too long.

In a desperate frenzy, you tore your bag off your shoulders, the motion aggressive and unbridled. The bag hit the floor with a thud, a symbol of the weight you were shedding. Shoes were kicked off haphazardly, sent flying across the room like discarded remnants of a battle fought in the outside world.

Limping a step or two, you felt the physical toll of the day on your body. Each movement was a reminder of the struggles faced, a silent testimony to the challenges that seemed insurmountable. Despite the pain, you pressed on, driven by an unyielding need to find release.

Finally, on your knees, your body sank to the floor, and you hid your face in your hands. The sobs wracked your frame, the tears flowing freely as if breaking a dam of pent-up emotions. The vulnerability of the moment was palpable, an unguarded display of the toll that life had taken on your spirit.

The apartment walls absorbed the echoes of your cries, bearing witness to the raw authenticity of your emotional unraveling. In this private space, you allowed yourself to be unapologetically human, to let the facade crumble and reveal the vulnerabilities beneath.

Unbeknownst to you, Geto had been home the entire time, quietly observing the storm of emotions that unfolded. His footsteps had been soundless, allowing you the space to release the torrents of frustration that had built up throughout the day.

From the loyalty of a follower, the dynamic had shifted into a more intimate connection — the transformation from a dedicated supporter to a life partner. It had surprised you, leaving you in a state of perpetual awe at the evolution of your relationship. You marveled at Geto's keen intellect, appreciating the depth of his personality that went beyond the public facade. Yet, despite the admiration, there lingered a sense of bewilderment. You couldn't fathom what it was in you that had caused someone of his stature to fall for someone as seemingly ordinary as you.

The quiet rustle of Geto's kāṣāya garment marked his silent approach. As he entered the room, his discerning eyes took in the scene — your slumped figure on the floor, the remnants of emotional release scattered around. 

With a subtle grace, Geto crouched beside you, his kāṣāya settling around him. His presence was a steady anchor in the midst of emotional turbulence. As he observed, the lines of concern etched onto his face betrayed a genuine worry for your well-being.

His thumb and index finger gently grasped your chin. There was a silent understanding in his touch — a recognition of shared struggles and vulnerabilities.

With a voice that held a calming resonance, he asked, "What's wrong, my love?" Geto's eyes searched yours, seeking the truth behind the storm of emotions that had unfolded.

Struggling against the strength of Geto's grasp on your chin, you attempted to avert your gaze from his keen, black irises. However, his hold was unyielding, preventing even the slightest movement. Your eyes, teary and vulnerable, met his unwavering gaze.

Tears welled up and spilled down your cheeks as the floodgates of emotion burst open yet again. With each sob, you began to share the burdens that had led to this emotional breaking point. The weight of work, the battles with disability, and the overwhelming stress poured out in words between shaky breaths. "I... I just can't handle it anymore," you admitted, voice choked with emotion. "Every day feels like a struggle, and I don't know how to keep going. Oh, I'm so so useless."

As you poured out your heart, a haunting self-doubt surfaced. Amidst the sobs, you confessed, "And... and I don't understand why you're with me. I'm not good enough for someone like you. You deserve someone stronger, someone who doesn't break down like this."

In the stillness that followed, Geto's gaze remained unwavering, his fingers maintaining their gentle yet firm hold. His expression held a mixture of understanding and compassion, the weight of your words acknowledged without judgment.

With a voice that resonated with sincerity, he responded, "Strength is not about never breaking down, little one. It's about finding the courage to rise again. And you, my dear, are stronger than you give yourself credit for."

His words, though simple, carried a profound reassurance. Geto's thumb wiped away a tear from your cheek, his touch a gentle acknowledgment of the vulnerability you had bared. "I chose you because of who you are," he affirmed, his voice a soothing presence amid the storm of emotions. "Your strength lies in your resilience, in the way you face challenges head-on. You don't have to be perfect; you just have to be yourself."

With your gaze locked onto Geto's unwavering eyes, lips slightly parted and tears streaming down your face, you continued to pour out the burdens that had weighed heavily on your heart. The sobs, though still present, became intertwined with the raw honesty of your words. "I feel like I'm drowning, Geto," you admitted, your voice shaky yet determined. "Work, my disability, everything... It's just too much. There are moments when I can't move, and it terrifies me. I don't know how to handle it." The vulnerability in your expression mirrored the openness of your heart. "I thought I could handle it all, but it's breaking me," you confessed. "I can't keep up this facade of strength. It's exhausting, and I'm tired, Geto. Tired of pretending I'm okay when I'm not."

Tears blurred your vision as you continued, "And there's this constant fear," you continued, your voice quivering. "That I'm not good enough for you. That you'll see through this facade and realize I'm just... not enough…"

Geto observed your tear-streaked face with a slight tilt of his head, his gaze unwavering. Geto slipped one of his strong arms under your knees and the other against your back. With seemingly effortless strength, he lifted you into his arms, cradling you with a tenderness.

Silently carrying you through the apartment, he navigated toward a hidden sanctuary — a winter garden tucked away at the back: a place that held significance, a haven of tranquility that had often brought you solace in times of need.

The door creaked open, revealing the serene winter garden adorned with delicate flora. The air was warm, and the ambient quietness seemed to amplify the intensity of the moment. Geto, still holding you securely in his arms, stepped into the sanctuary that he knew held a special place in your heart.

The familiar surroundings embraced you with a sense of calmness as Geto carefully settled you on a comfortable metal bench covered with thick blankets, ensuring that you were cradled in warmth. 

Geto's gaze shifted to the delicate flora surrounding you. His voice was low and measured as the tall man began to explain, "All of these," he gestured towards the various plants, "are delicate. Just like you." His words held a quiet reverence for the intricacies of life, and he moved towards a small pot adorned with your favorite flowers — blue orchids. "It's easy to break them," he continued, his fingers grazing the petals with a gentle touch. "But even in their delicate state, they strive to survive." His attention shifted to a particular orchid that both of you had thought was long gone. Geto revealed the seemingly lifeless stalks, and to your surprise, pointed out two new buds emerging, still tender and small. "They may look delicate, but they have a strength within," he remarked, his eyes meeting yours. "Even when faced with adversity, they find a way to grow anew." Moving back to you, Suguro's gaze held a rare softness. "Just like these orchids, you've faced challenges and found the strength to grow. I admire your resilience." His words were sincere, a reflection of the admiration he held for your tenacity in the face of life's storms.

Tears welled up in your eyes. The quiver in your chin mirrored the emotions boiling within your soul. The weight of his words sank in, a profound recognition of the strength that had blossomed in the face of adversity. "I... I never thought of it that way," you admitted, your voice soft and tremulous. "It's just... sometimes it feels like everything is too much, like I'm too fragile for this world." The vulnerability in your confession hung in the air, a stark contrast to the quiet strength that Geto had just commended.

Geto's eyes held a depth of understanding as he listened to your words. With a reassuring touch, he reached out, his thumb gently brushing away a tear that trailed down your cheek as he took a seat beside you. "It's crucial," he said, "to focus on your own well-being. Only then can you coexist with your inner demons. Sorrow has a human heart too often. And you're strong enough to overcome it.” Geto, with a tender gesture, pulled you to sit on his thick lap. His strong arms enveloped you, drawing you close to his wide torso. Gently rocking you back and forth, he whispered words of encouragement into your ear. "You're stronger than you think, and I believe in you. Life throws challenges at everyone, and your resilience in facing them is truly admirable. Remember, it's okay not to have it all figured out. Be patient with yourself, take one step at a time, and know that you're not alone. I'm here, you're not alone. We're in this together. You're capable of overcoming whatever comes your way, and I'm proud to stand by your side. You can always count on me. I won't hesitate to remove any obstacles that stand in your way. Your well-being is my priority.”

The warmth of his embrace and the soothing cadence of his voice created a sanctuary of comfort, a moment of solace in which you felt both physically and emotionally embraced. You gently wrapped your sore arms around Suguru's neck, seeking solace in his comforting, warm embrace. Nuzzling into the crook of his neck, you expressed gratitude, your voice soft but filled with sincerity. "Thank you for always being so gentle with me.”

"Anytime, Y/N. Difficult moments will fade away. And I'll never leave you alone. Ever,” he accentuated the last word, gently kissing your forehead. "Now, wipe away those tears and join me. We still have a delightful supper to prepare together.”